Addendum

Is… is that why he hated me? Fucking hell, is that why he kept himself so distant over the years? Because of this?

Shit. He was right to loathe everything that I was. Mother Time, did I… did I turn my little brother into a monster?

[wordless screaming and multiple crashes followed by a long period of silence]

I’m sorry, Elliot. You have to understand; I don’t actively remember most of what I’m telling you. My array keeps the memories I should have long forgotten in a folder, one I don’t access much. Not anymore. Over the years, it’s become too painful.

For years, I’ve wondered why Phen changed so radically from the boy I grew up with. Why, in later years, did he always oppose me when we were forced to interact with one another?

It was my fault. Of course it was.

But that means…

I’m to blame for Kester. A city full of people, murdered because of something that I did, forever ago. Ha! Look how far the consequences for one choice can ripple.

But I can’t think about that or what I did to my brother. I. just. can’t. I won’t let you hear me cry. not again. Not here, where you’re supposed to find some measure of healing.

So, let’s move on. Talira’s waiting for a younger version of me, after all.