The Art of Becoming
When those from beyond the stars came, the six Houses stood against them, saving the world from invaders intent on destroying it. Generations later, those same Houses form the bedrock of Lutov, a seemingly perfect society where all are provided for. Here, war is a myth and death, a choice. Yet here, no one questions their devotion to their chosen House.
Zaeden will soon join a House, a choice he's dreaded since childhood. All he's ever wanted is to live outside of the Houses' control, to find freedom. Unfortunately, he's caught the attention of the legendary Lokke Vitras, the protector and shield of the homeland, and that man is determined to decide his future. Zaeden will serve as his replacement, becoming the Lokke Vitras in his own time, whether he likes it or not.
As he goes through his training, Zaeden faces many trials and moral dilemmas, but the one that most challenges him is a question he's asked for his whole life. How can he find freedom when the world insists on defining who he is?

Front Matter
Maps, pronunciation guide, glossary, etc.

Content Warnings
I've done my best to include as many content warnings as I can here, but I can't guarantee that I've caught all of them. As always when reading a novel that covers heavier topics, please keep your mental health in mind! 

 Throughout: dissociation, eugenics, lack of choice, sexual content (never graphic! Similar in style to  Red, White, and Royal Blue),  near death experiences, manipulation, racism (of a fictional race), dehumanization of a fictional race 

 Clash with the Ancients: helping someone through a flashback, death of a loved one by main character's hand, betrayal, torture (mental, not physical) 

 A House's Dissolution:  self-harm (in one chapter)

Short Stories
Stories to fill in some of the narrative gaps. Most take place between Chapters 16 and 17 of Clash with the Ancients aka the day after the Lokke Vitras takes Zaeden as his replacement.

First Day
The events immediately after my House naming ceremony are a blur to me, even so many years later. I remember that I wasn’t given leave to say farewell to my family. Instead, the  Lokke Vitras tersely informed me that Talira would tell them what had happened. 

 Apparently, she gave him the dressing down of the century later that day, berating him for almost ten minutes for ruining my House naming for me. 

 I remember the flight to his estate with the most uncomfortable silence lying between us. I remember landing and silently following him down strange halls—suppressing my curiosity all the while—until he stopped at a room in the farthest corner of the house’s outer wing. 

 “You’ll sleep here,” he told me. “Make yourself comfortable. We’ll start at daybreak tomorrow.” 

 And then, he left. I think the unspoken assumption was that I’d stay in place until then, and once I’d satisfied myself about my new quarter’s security and dug through the contents of the room’s closet and dresser, I did agonize over whether I should go to sleep or not. 

 I chose ‘or not’. 

 Wandering through the  Lokke Vitras' home years later, when I knew him better, occasionally gave me the heebie jeebies, so you can imagine what it was like when I was creeping, alone and in the dark, through the home of Lutov’s most dangerous man that night. I’d never been more cautious in my life, but even with how sneaky I was, I didn’t escape the Lokke Vitras' notice. 

 He found me in his library, running a finger along the spines of his books. By that point, I’d long ago lost the awe of being surrounded by so much of the printed word, leaving me looking for something to read until morning. I was pretty sure that sleep wouldn’t visit me that night, not with how jittery I still was from earlier events. 

 I didn’t get far before the Lokke Vitras stopped me. The books on all sides had so captured my attention that I hadn't noticed him entering the room. 

 “What do you think you’re doing?” he said. 

 I nearly jumped out of my skin, setting into an attack stance after spinning toward him. With him lost in the shadows, I could barely make out his form, just… standing there and staring at me. With my nerves screaming, I forced myself to relax, flashing a smile at him. 

 “I couldn’t sleep,” I said. “Decided to go exploring and found this fascinating collection.” 

 In response, the Lokke Vitras continued staring at me, nearly making me wilt. Unsure what to do, I cleared my throat. 

 “It wasn’t my intention to wake you up,” I said. “I’m sorry if I did.” 

 “You didn’t wake me,” he said. 

 And he'd sounded so empty that I thought he might have been a ghost. After another interminable wait in silence I turned back to the shelves to continue my search. 

 “Do you have any recommendations?” I idly asked. 

 Again, with the silence. I didn’t know what to make of them. Did he have anything to say? If not, why was he here? 

 “The texts at the end of that row should hold some interest for you,” the Lokke Vitras eventually said. “Try not to damage them.” 

 “Thank-” 

 But he was gone. I wouldn’t realize how kind he was being to me until years later. Those books were his pride and joy, the one thing he prized above all—at the time, at least—but he let me touch and handle them on our first night together. He looked past the discomfort of having an unknown sleeping under the same roof as him to the disruption he’d made in my life: changing the course of it so drastically from what I’d imagined. 

 Of course, I didn’t know that back then. I only saw the Lokke Vitras leaving me alone for the night. I only saw that I didn’t need to be so careful anymore. 

 After looking through his suggested books, I chose one and settled in to read it. At some point, I fell asleep doing this. 

 I woke up with a vague sense of unease the moment before something nudged my foot, and when I snapped my eyes open, a rifle’s muzzle was in my face. Scrunching back in my chair, I barely kept myself from reacting, having noted the cool, grey eyes on the other side of the gun. 

 “Four minutes, twenty-two seconds,” the Lokke Vitras said. 

 He paused as if waiting for a response. 

 Licking my lips, I said, “What?” 

 “That’s how long I was standing over you before you woke up,” the  Lokke Vitras said. “If I’d wanted to, I could have killed you a thousand times over by now. In the future, you’ll have to do better.” 

 His grip on his rifle loosened the tiniest bit, making me relax. 

 “And one more thing, kuvesk,” he continued. “Always trust your instincts.” 

 As his finger tightened on the trigger, I had a split second to react. Long drilled practices had me slapping my palm to the inside of his elbow while knocking his wrist toward the ceiling, and an energy bolt flashed by close enough to burn my skin. I tried to get up so I could run, but faster than should have been possible, the Lokke Vitras recovered, pinning me to the chair with a hand around my neck. 

 House Kolb speed. A skill I had yet to master. 

 Kicking for his legs, I grunted, “Not. fair.” 

 Before the last word fell from my lips, a cold circle was pressed to my temple, and I fell still. I didn’t think he’d kill me, considering what he wanted me for, but still, I couldn’t deny the doubts and fears roaring in my head. 

 “You are the Lokke Vitras to come, kuvesk,” hesaid. “Fair shouldn’t exist in your vocabulary.” 

 And he pulled the trigger, making the rifle click. Out of charge. Thank Mother Time. 

 Easing off of me, the Lokke Vitras backed away while I rubbed my neck. 

 “Follow me,” he said. 

 I almost didn’t obey. The man had just tried to kill me, after all. But disobedience, at least with him, seemed hazardous to my health, so while pressing my fingers to the burn on my forehead, I clambered out of the chair. 

 The Lokke Vitras again led me through an unfamiliar maze of halls, and I kept quiet all the while. I had many questions for him, most of them urgent, but something inside kept me from speaking up. 

 Eventually, we stopped in a large, open room, one with white walls. 

 A sim room. 

 I’d expected this, seeing as how today would mark the first day in my training, although I'd thought I'd at least get a shower and breakfast before our first session. What I hadn't expected, however, was the puppy running straight for us as soon as we stepped in the door. 

 Completely black and in the clumsy stage of growth, it was a spot of adorable goodness that I hadn’t expected to see again for a long time. I was a little disappointed when my companion stepped into its path, sending it careening to a halt. He reached out a hand, and I watched incredulously while the fucking Lokke Vitras cooed over a dog. While he scratched its belly, I edged closer before clearing my throat. 

 “Why have we come here…? I’m sorry. What am I supposed to call you?” I said. 

 Glancing up at me, the Lokke Vitras said, “You will call me evushk.” 

 “Teacher?” I said. “I guess that’s why you called me student earlier.” 

 Without a word, the Lokke Vitras returned his attention to the dog, and I waited for instruction. Instead, I got a lecture. 

 “The role of the Lokke Vitras is demanding,” he said. “It will take many things from you: love, family, any sense of choice. I could go on. It is, however, needed for Lutov’s stability, and this is why the role persists from one person to the next.” 

 Holding the puppy, the  Lokke Vitras  rose to his full height, turning his piercing gaze on me. 

 “You are the Lokke Vitras to come, and because of that, your freedom will be even more restricted than mine is,” he said. “From now until such time as I relinquish my role, you will do as I tell you without question. Is that understood?’ 

 “Of course.” 

 What else was I supposed to say? Was I supposed to refuse the Lokke Vitras? I couldn’t, not if I wanted to stay alive. 

 Wordlessly, the Lokke Vitras extended the puppy to me, and I accepted it, even wriggling as it was. Its fur was so soft and its body so warm that a sense of safety began growing in my heart unbidden. 

 The Lokke Vitras stopped that in its tracks. 

 “I want you to break its legs,” he said. 

 As my head shot up, I opened my mouth to say Mother Time knows what. I barely stopped myself from voicing my disbelief, squeaking instead. 

 Damn, his eyes were so cold, alien and without feeling, and I shivered, reflexively clutching the puppy to me. 

 When it started squirming, I looked down at it. The Lokke Vitras wanted me to hurt this innocent creature and for what? To establish who was in control here? I was already fully aware of that. 

 Regardless of his reason, the Lokke Vitras had given me an order, no matter how softly it had been phrased, and given who he was, I had to obey, on pain of at least death. Not only that, but as his student, I had an obligation to follow his instructions. Who was I to think I knew better than such a respected man? 

 But I looked into those trusting, brown eyes and watched the creature excitedly panting, frantically squirming to connect its tongue to my face, and I knew I couldn’t do as I’d been told. Closing my eyes, I set my jaw, knowing I might be living out my last few moments. 

 “No,” I said before lifting my eyes to him, “I won’t do it.” 

 I don’t know how long I maintained that freezing stare when I should have been begging forgiveness, but after what felt like an eternity, the Lokke Vitras nodded. 

 “Good,” he said. 

 Turning on his heel, he strode for the sim room’s door. 

 “Because you’ve chosen to spare it, the dog is now yours,” he called over his shoulder. “I’ll give you a few minutes to get acquainted while I gather some equipment.” 

 He left me staring at the closing door with my mouth gaping, and when I eventually regained control, my screeching voice filled the room. 

 “WHAT?!” 

 The puppy did not like that. It wriggled its way free of my arms, and I barely lowered myself to the floor in time to keep it from hurting itself. With a happy bark, it started circling my legs, and dumbass that I was, I didn’t know how to regain my balance once it had been so thoroughly thrown askew. I landed on the floor with a crack, thankfully missing the dog, and got a face full of slobber as a reward. 

 Sputtering, I pushed it aside so I could sit up and wipe my face . 

 Glaring at the dog, I said, “The hell am I supposed to do with you?” 

 I’d had partners who’d owned dogs before, but my parents had never wanted their children owning pets. I didn’t have the first clue about how one raised a puppy. 

 “I suppose I could start with a name,” I said under my breath. 

 But I didn’t know where to begin with even something that simple. Sighing, I popped to my hands and knees, crawling toward the puppy, and as I should have expected, it bowed to me before jumping from side to side, unleashing a series of happy barks.  

 Goodie. It wanted to play. 

 Glancing about the room, I found nothing I could use as a play toy, so I used myself instead. Leaping for the dog, I tackled it, trying to be careful all the while, but it somehow managed to dodge before performing its own jump on my back. It immediately tumbled off, but that didn’t stop it from hopping upright once it had hit the ground. He—and I knew the puppy was a he now—got a mouthful of my shirt before tugging on it with a growl, skipping away from my reaching hands whenever I came close to him. 

 I don’t know how long we played like this with the puppy near constantly in control of the situation, but eventually, I gave up. Flopping to my back, I endured tiny teeth nipping at my fingers and many a puppyish whine before the dog trotted to where I could see him. With one sloppy swipe of his tongue, he sat beside my face, furiously wagging his tail, and cocked his head. 

 “You’re going to be a handful, aren’t you?” I said. 

 Lunging for the dog as fast as I could, I scooped him up and… nuzzled my face in his stomach, for some reason. After a spot of struggling, the puppy settled down, letting me hold him in my lap, and I watched while his eyes began drooping. Mother Time, it had taken far too much effort to wear him out. How much trouble would this creature cause me during the first weeks of my training, given how tenacious he was…? 

 “Ace,” I said. 

 Sleepily, the dog blinked up at me, and I smiled. 

 “Your name is Ace,” I told him. 

 Stretching in my lap, Ace yawned, letting his tiny, pink tongue fall out of his mouth, while I gently rubbed his back. Sure, this creature might cause me way too much trouble, but I thought it would be worth it. 

 Right after Ace had dropped off, the Lokke Vitras returned to the sim room with a pair of swords and other Ibisian weapons on his person. When I made to stand, he waved for me to stay still. 

 “Wait until he’s more deeply asleep,” he said. “You’ll need him so restricted if you’re to have any hope of completing today's training without waking him up.” 

 I should have focused on what the Lokke Vitras  had implied. With the weapons he’d brought with him, how was I supposed to last in any fight, let alone one against  him, without rousing a lightly sleeping puppy? 

 Instead, I turned to the realization of what Ace was meant to be for me: something to care for. A companion to ease my transition into my new role, or that was what I assumed, and understanding that, I didn’t know what to say. 

 So, I just spoke my mind. 

 “Thank you.” 

 The  Lokke Vitras  didn’t reply, merely glancing my way before tossing me a sword, which I reflexively caught, but by that point, he’d turned away, going through a basic warm-up. 

 Hell. So, not only was I to have a sound impediment in the coming fight, but I’d have to do it with stiff muscles? The Lokke Vitras really was an evil teacher. 

 I found I didn’t mind that, though. Watching him move his body in increasingly… interesting ways, I ran my hands over Ace, letting myself believe that this  deviation in my life’s course might not be so bad.

First Task
After a few weeks together, training   and occasionally studying by myself on the estate, the Lokke Vitras took me on my first mission. I wasn’t sure what to expect, as he didn’t give me a briefing before we left, but when we headed toward the Eastern Reaches, I assumed one of the production facilities there had gone haywire. The low Strata in charge of it probably  needed an expert touch to bring it back online. 

 The Lokke Vitras , however, set us down between Lake Phiabe and the southern stretch of the Barasgami Mountains, although we were close enough to the lake that I could see its waters between breaks in the fog. 

 “I have a test for you,” the Lokke Vitras said, keeping his eyes fixed outside. “Today, we’ll see if you’ve learned anything while you’ve stayed with me. Your mission specifics are in the message you’ll be receiving shortly. Once you get out of the skycruiser, you’re to remain in place for three minutes before opening it. 

 “This won't be your first solo mission, kuvesk. You’re not ready for that yet. I’ll be keeping an eye on you somewhere nearby, but I will not step in unless your life is in immediate danger. Do you understand?” 

 “I hear your words, evushk,” I said. 

 At that point, I still found the  Lokke Vitras' protocols a little silly, but I conformed to them anyway. What else was I to do? Defy him? Please. 

 “Good. Then, get out.” 

 Once the crisp air of the Southern Fells was nipping at my skin, the Lokke Vitras' skycruiser lifted off of the ground, quickly disappearing in the clouds, and I crossed my arms, waiting. I still wasn’t used to the sitting around, doing nothing part of my training, which had happened far more than I’d expected. When instances of it came around, I usually dug into my assigned bookwork, but three minutes wouldn’t be long enough for me to get anywhere with that right now. 

 After the allotted time had passed, I opened the newest message in my array, reading its contents, and groaned, throwing my head back. 

 “Shiiiiit.” 

 An ii hunt. I didn't know wow the fuck a mage had gotten loose here, in the heart of Lutov, but the means of his escape didn’t matter now. When looking over the types of magic, or  liiaresim,  that this mage claimed, I understood why this was my first mission as the Lokke Vitras to come, though. As a Vimian, Magsense, Somadept, and Hydroshifter, he matched the ii that had almost killed me months before with one exception.  

 What that told me? The Lokke Vitras wanted to know if his teaching methods had been at all effective or if he needed to adjust his strategy. 

 Chewing on my lip, I headed for the position of the mage's last known location. Based on the report that had been attached to the message, the House Kolb members who's been tracking the  ii would have apprehended him several hours ago if the Lokke Vitras hadn’t stopped them in their tracks, taking over the mission. How long had he been looking for an opportunity like this? 

 On arrival, I started my hunt, tracking the mage much like I had with the one I's fought in Ostiu, and every few meters, the cursing under my breath got more colorful. The ii was heading straight for Lake Phiabe, a source of one of his liiaresim , and I had no doubt he’d probably reached it, given how long it had been since his last sighting. 

 Sure enough, when I reached Lake Phiabe’s shores, I spotted a splotch of white, skating over the water in the distance. That splotch served as the endpoint to a trail of ice. 

 This just kept getting better and better. 

 With my heart in my throat, I carefully stepped onto the ice, and when it held, I started sprinting down it. Considering I had only tentative control over the techniques I'd need to fight a mage, I didn’t see any point in making a cautious approach.  

 As I came closer, the mage had his back to me. Softly singing a whimsical tune, he sent orbs of water flying around his body. 

 Since I had the chance to make a clean shot and finish this mission in a timely manner, I lifted my rifle, aiming for the mage’s head, but as I had in Ostiu’s mountains, I couldn’t squeeze the trigger. Making a face, I shifted my aim to the man’s shoulder, peeking from the sleeve of his… Lutovish made shirt — that was weird — and only then could I take the shot. 

 Or shots in this case. 

 One energy bolt tore through the meat of the mage’s shoulders, like I’d aimed for, but the second ripped through the side of his lower abdomen, leaving a ring of blackened fabric and skin to outline the evidence of its passing. Howling, the mage spun on me, clearly ready to fight, and with another curse more, I entered a thoughtless state, one of the techniques required to fight a mage. 

 As always when it comes to that mental regimen, I couldn’t tell you what happened while I maintained it. I have brief snapshots, many of which don’t make sense to me. 

 Fish and mucky plant life raining down around me. Water touching every bit of my skin, breathed in as if it were air. Something distinctly not right happening in my chest while viscous liquid bubbled away from my arm, flowing toward a man in white. 

 I came to myself lying on a patch of melting ice, watching the Lokke Vitras roll the mage’s body into Lake Phiabe with his toe, and had a split second to notice my withered arm—holy shit, the mage had drained the water from it—before agony drove a spike through my brain and I lost consciousness. 

 I was stuck in bed for two days after that. Most of that time was lost to sleep or pain. The Lokke Vitras didn’t allow me any anesthetic to help with my recovery, so I felt the gradual repair of my atrophied heart and desiccated arm to the fullest, every horrible moment of it.  

 But. 

 Despite this, I took notice of how attentively the Lokke Vitras took care of me. He was always there with a glass of water or a bowl of broth, even fluffing my pillows occasionally. Later, I wondered if he cared for me even that far back.  

 I’ve been told that he did. 

 Still. At the time, all I noticed was that the supposedly emotionless Lokke Vitras looked worried when he visited my bedside, even if the traces of it were slight and he never acknowledged it. 

 Once I’d fully recovered, the Lokke Vitras chewed me out extensively about my failure, and the next week of training was hell for me, but that incident and everything that happened afterward planted a seed in my mind, one that would both grow and decay over the next three years. From it would come one of the longest and most fulfilling relationships of my life.

First Year
Time passed, and I approached my one-year anniversary as the Lokke Vitras to come. At the time, I still hadn’t adjusted my priorities about what was important in life. I still found milestones significant, even if I knew not to expect any sort of gift for them from the Lokke Vitras . By then, I had a decent understanding of him, and I knew he’d think my anticipation of this anniversary was unnecessary and a bit silly. 

 I couldn’t ignore my excitement, though. Even if that day turned out to be like any other, I would know what it meant 

 When I woke up that morning, things seemed set to follow the typical routine, except I almost had to spend an hour flushing anti-venom through my system first thing. The Lokke Vitras had let an adder into my bedroom while I was sleeping, and I nearly missed it when getting out of bed. My mind and body hadn’t  quite gotten used to my new sleep schedule, and that made me extraordinarily drowsy on some mornings. That day happened to be one of them. 

 After killing the snake, I rushed through getting ready for the day. The Lokke Vitras didn’t usually mess with me during that part of the day, although it did occasionally happen. So ,while I wasn’t as cautious while showering and getting dressed, I also kept an eye out for anything unusual. 

 Since I hadn’t received a message informing me of a change in plans, I snuck my way across the estate to the kitchen, the one place in the world that was completely safe for me. Even still, I was always on my guard there, but toward the beginning of my training, the Lokke Vitras had told me in no uncertain terms that he would never attack me there, and if he did, it would mean he’d decided I wouldn't cut it as his replacement. 

 In other words, if I ever got jumped in that room, I was dead, and there was no way around it. 

 I don’t know why I trusted he Lokke Vitras when it came to that claim. He’d certainly lied to me about other things, trying to teach me how little I could trust people, but when it came to the kitchen, I never doubted that he’d told me the truth. I was safe as soon as I crossed the room's threshold. 

 Ace was there, of course, happily waiting for his morning trip outside, and after attaching his leash, we started our journey to an exterior door. My dog was fairly disciplined by that point, sticking to my heel and scrunching low as we snuck out, but he was still a puppy. He Food and other things that dogs loved still distracted him, and the Lokke Vitras just loved to scatter temptation across our path wherever he could, hence why Ace was on a leash. Eventually, I thought he could do this without it, but until I was certain he wouldn't break stealth during this part of the day, I kept him attached to me via rope. 

 That went away when we eventually stepped back inside. We sprinted through the estate, moving as quickly as we could back to the kitchen. 

 Not that our speed mattered much. The  Lokke Vitras always found us, although the number of his lightning-strike attacks depended on how long we spent between the door and the kitchen. 

 Mother Time, he went easy on us those first couple of years. If I’d known then what I do now, I’d have been grateful for how much he restrained himself. 

 As it was, I was usually cursing him in my head every time I had to dodge an energy bolt or fend off a series of stabs from a knife. Ace always fought the  Lokke Vitras as well, but that was what I’d trained him to do, what he was supposed to do. If the famed Lokke Vitras couldn’t avoid a measly dog, even one as well trained as Ace, then Lutov had a problem. 

 When we eventually reached the kitchen with our morning workout complete, I was out of breath and already exhausted, not that I let it show. I waited with Ace until the  Lokke Vitras showed up, and as it did every other morning, watching my dog trot up to the man he’d been snipping at not five minutes dragged a smile from me. Strangely enough, the  Lokke Vitras never scolded me for these expressions of amusement, unlike what he did with every other unintentional revelation of my emotional state. 

 Despite the day's significance, the Lokke Vitras thoroughly reamed me for every failing I'd displayed in our morning warm up, although I did get more compliments than usual afterward. After he'd finished critiquing my performance, we started cooking. 

 Breakfast was always the easiest of meals for us two chefs, so while I scrambled eggs at the  Lokke Vitras' discretion, I scanned the news, as I usually did at that point in our routine. 

 It wasn’t long before a piece of it had me freezing in place with my spatula stuck in the middle of soggy eggs. For several precious seconds, I blinked at the images of destruction splashed into my array, knowing all the while that I should return my focus to my cooking.  

 But I couldn’t. 

 “Is something wrong, kuvesk?” the  Lokke Vitras said. 

 Over the last twelve months, I’d learned exactly which empty tones correlated to which nearly non-existent emotions this man might have. This one made me shiver. 

 “Nothing, evushk, only…” 

 A small, logical part of my brain hissed warnings, shouting about how dangerous it would be to continue, but I couldn’t stop myself. 

 “A tornado hit Daka this morning,” I said. “Shouldn’t we be there? Helping?” 

 A long, tense silence fell, one in which I started furiously scraping at my eggs again. 

 “Give me your argument for why we   should go to Ibis and help what are essentially products when House Vaessa should have the situation under control within the week,” the Lokke Vitras said. 

 Fuck. I hated when questions of time management came up between us, considering I usually had slightly different priorities than him, and with this particular incident, my reasoning might not hold up to his standards. Still. I had to try. 

 “The children of Ibis play an essential role in Lutovish society, even if it’s only one of aggression release,” I said. “Any threat to them is also a threat to us, and I would prefer to have such useful pieces of our society up and running again as quickly as possible.” 

 I’d modified my true reasons for wanting to help there, but I was pretty damn sure I couldn’t talk about how I thought the Lokke Vitras should protect the children of Ibis just as much as they did with the Lutovish. 

 Without looking at the Lokke Vitras to see how my argument had landed, I transferred my eggs to a platter before setting the pan aside. After placing  several slices of fried ham around the platter’s edge, the Lokke Vitras brought it to the table, and I followed with plates and silverware. He only spoke once we’d sat and started eating. 

 “An acceptable line of reasoning. We’ll depart for Escad as soon as the kitchen’s back in order.” 

 My shock had me stabbing my fork into my lip instead of getting it properly into my mouth, and with the barest of coughs, I did my best to hide the embarrassing slip up. Fortunately, the Lokke Vitras ignored it, instead mildly advising me to slow down my rate of consumption when I started shoveling food into my mouth. 

 The trip to Ibis passed in a daze. There was one (1) silent skycruiser ride to the Southern Fells Travel Center, one (1) painfully disconcerting stop in the station while hurtling across the world as particles, and one (1) zipping flight to Daka with P.I.G.s after arguing with a surprisingly stubborn House Vaessa member about using them. 

 But then, we were in Escad’s capital, and it was a wreck. So many squat buildings had been ripped to pieces, the wreckage strewn everywhere, and so many people listlessly wandered the street or sat in out of the way corners. Some of the soldiers of the nation’s standing army were flying about the small square where we'd landed, carrying their archaic medical supplies and rolling barrels full of water back and forth across it. Many of them eyed us as we set down, which made me uncomfortable, but the Lokke Vitras just ignored them, surveying the damage. 

 “They’ve responded to the disaster more quickly than usual this time. That’s good,” he said. “Kuvesk, you start clearing rubble wherever you see fit. I’ll coordinate with these soldiers about where they could best use us.” 

 He didn’t already know? Then again, the Lokke Vitras hadn’t gotten much time to gather the details of what had happened and what we’d find here before arriving.  

 But why was I questioning what he planned to do? I had my orders. If I wanted to stay alive and whole, I needed to follow them. So, I wandered off to the closest site of destruction. 

 The nearby children of Ibis seemed scandalized when I asked if there were any survivors in the wreckage, but they answered me. After they mentioned hearing voices under the rubble, I picked up those sounds for myself. Starting toward the noise, I called for the survivors keep shouting so I could find them, and with my enhanced hearing, I started picking through collapsed wood beams and piles of broken stone. 

 Clearing the rubble was an involved task, forcing me to consider how to shift debris so it wouldn’t collapse on top of the person I was trying to reach, but honesty? It wasn’t that taxing. I worked my way through it, hauling away what I could move on my own away while others helped. I summoned my rifle to break larger stone into smaller pieces while coordinating with the others on the 'rescue team'. 

 Within a good quarter hour—a much shorter time period than it would have been without my help—we uncovered a man holding his unconscious  partner. After helping the two out of what might have been an early grave, I shot ahead with the injured woman. I got her to triage quickly enough that she might have decent odds of survival. 

 And then, I couldn’t move further. Staring at the medics working on that woman, I was struck by the realization that I’d saved a life today instead of ending it. After the last year with nothing to prove me wrong, I’d begun to think the role of the Lokke Vitras was only meant for killing. Something deep inside of me loosened on seeing that I could be something more than a murderer in the future. 

 Someone dropped their hand on my shoulder at that moment, making me jump, and when I glanced behind me to see the Lokke VItras standing there, I winced in preparation for the lecture I was sure to receive. But he just watched the medics finish their ministrations before meeting my eyes. 

 “Do you understand now?” he said. 

 And I nodded, nothing more or less. What else was there to say? 

 “Savor this, kuvesk,” the Lokke Vitras said. “Moments like this, triumphs in every sense of the word, are rare in our line of work. Make them count when they happen to you.” 

 “Yes, evushk,” I said. 

 He squeezed my shoulder, making my skin tingle, before jerking his head to the side. 

 “This way,” he said. “Apparently, the king has requested our presence. Hopefully, he can give us a broader picture of the situation.” 

 As he made his way deeper into Daka, I trotted at his heel, working through everything that had happened this morning, and when I was finished, I cocked my head at the  Lokke Vitras' back. 

 Why was he being so generous with me today? Indulging my desire to come here, making sure I understood how precious what we'd was? These were atypical behaviors for him, so I had to wonder. Did the Lokke Vitras remember that it was my one-year anniversary?  

 I mean… of course, he did. I supposed the question was more, was he acting so out of the norm because of it? 

 Was coming here and helping these people his gift to me? 

 I didn’t know what to make of the idea that my evushk might acknowledge—if only in deed—that we were merely human. That we might need breaks on occasion. 

 Wait. 

 He was merely human.  

 Huh. It had taken me a whole year to figure that one out. 

 Shaking my head, I picked up the pace so I could be at the Lokke Vitras' side instead of behind him, removing that possible source of unease for him. This man, seemingly emotionless and resolute, might be just as tense and uneasy as I typically was with a source of danger at my back. What a radical concept, and it stirred my curiosity. 

 Given that I’d figured out something that most Lutovish would never even consider possible, what more might I learn about the  Lokke Vitras?

First Solo Mission
Despite how it might seem from other stories, Korix was not the primary focus of my life, nor was he my only source of happiness in the years after my House naming. Sure, he played a large part in it, but I had many other things to occupy me. Most of that included the numerous tasks that my training required and a never-ending acquisition of skills, some of which I’d never once thought that the  Lokke Vitras might need.  

 Boy, did the Lokke Vitras disabuse me of the notion that certain skills weren’t worth a warrior’s time. I couldn’t tell you how many times simple things like doing the laundry by hand made themselves necessary during a mission . Once, I even had to sing my way out of a sticky situation. That didn't go over well. 

 The point here, though, is that I found joy and happiness in learning these things, just as much as I enjoyed maintaining the regimen needed to keep me in perfect shape . 

 Another of the things that kept me from going insane over that first year was Ace. Training him, feeding him, taking him on walks, all of these things helped to sooth the spark of my soul as it grew steadily more scarred and abused by my new role. Even so, Ace was — as I’d thought he’d be — a handful. He was curious, clever, and tenacious, much like his name declared. All of which meant that I spent a good sliver of my time chasing the bastard down and/or getting him out of scrapes. 

 On the day I would receive my first mission, Ace had once more found a way to escape the house. When I discovered this between morning drills and lunch time, I made a bee line to the Lokke Vitras , even knowing how the coming conversation would go. If I avoided it, he’d think I’d abandoned my training for the day, which wouldn’t… end… well for me. 

 The Lokke Vitras was already in the kitchen when I careened into it, propped in a corner with his feet on the bench and a book in his hands.  

 Not once looking up at me, he said, “Ace is gone again?” 

 Completely out of breath from my sprint, all I could do was nod. 

 “Well?” Korix said. “Go find him.” 

 And I would have left right then if I hadn't been absolutely loopy from lack of sleep. I’d stayed up for the last two nights, frantically finishing my studies on some obscure mathematical theorem that the Lokke Vitras wanted memorized by the end of the week. Originally, I'd planned to crash for a good five or six hours tonight to pay for the lack, but with this, I wouldn’t have time for that. I wasn’t sure I’d be mission ready, which the Lokke Vitras had always harped on me about maintaining, for the rest of the day. 

 Fortunately, by that point, I’d figured out that he was occasionally reasonable when it came to my training. He’d give me a break with certain things if he thought it necessary for my health. So, I wasn’t too fearful for my life when I opened my mouth. 

 “Would you come with me to look for him?” I said. “I’m afraid my sleep deprivation might impair me today.” 

 Slowly, the Lokke Vitras lifted his eyes to me, staring long enough for my heart to stop beating in my chest, before returning his focus to his book. 

 “Ace is your dog, kuvesk, and you’re the one who didn’t prevent him from escaping,” he said. “So, you have a choice before you. Do you get the sleep you need, caring for your body and therefore leaving Ace in the wild, or do you rescue your dog from his own idiocy? You have until the end of the day to choose and then, act on your choice.” 

 Or he could make this another damn training exercise. Sighing, I bowed to him. 

 “Thank you for the time, evushk,” I said. 

 And I took off for a door outside. There was never a question about the decision I’d make. Ace was my responsibility. If I couldn’t teach him how to stay safe, then I had to make a sacrifice to get him back home. 

 So, I wandered into the moors around the estate, looking for him. I won’t detail how I managed that, as it’s mediocre story material at best, but I will say that when I eventually found my dog, I was glad I’d gone after him. He’d gotten himself stuck in a bush, whining pitifully as I came closer. Poor thing probably would have starved to death or frozen solid by the time morning came again. 

 He knew he was in trouble too. For the entire hike home, he trotted beside me with his tail down and his head lowered. I'd never hit him or otherwise abused him, but still, he shied away from me whenever he could read that I was pissed off with him. 

 When we got home, I brought Ace to the kitchen, exceedingly grateful when I noted that the Lokke Vitras had left the room, but almost as soon as my dog had gotten himself settled, a connection opened in my array. 

 “Meet me in the staging room,” the Lokke Vitras said. 

 Before subsequently breaking the connection. A mission? Great… That would be just my luck. 

 After I'd secured Ace, I hurried to my destination, knowing I didn’t have time for anything else. Our ‘staging room’, as the Lokke Vitras had called it, was a small place with a holodrama plate and an attached closet/weapons cache that held everything we might need for a mission. Any random thing we didn’t have on hand could be picked up from headquarters while on our way out. 

 When I entered, the Lokke Vitras never looked up, merely pointing me to the wardrobe. 

 “You need to look like a House Kirst member,” he said. 

 While I followed instructions, he continued with his brief. 

 “Shukusen Arion is meeting with Orin later this afternoon. Arion requested for the meeting to take place in the Preserve, which has made Orin understandably wary. He doesn’t suspect foul play. If anything happened to Orin, it would be pretty obvious who’d done it, but he still wants a form of protection with him. Talira wants us to take care of it.” 

 And we’d never find out why that was. My grandmother sometimes had us complete the most random of tasks, ones I at times wondered what the point of them was, but she had to have a good reason for assigning them to us. She wouldn’t have wasted valuable resources like us otherwise. 

 Having finished changing, I called, “Great. When do we leave?” 

 “You l eave as soon as you’re ready,” the Lokke Vitras said. “I have things to do, so you’ll handle this by yourself.” 

 Halfway between the closet and the main room, I stumbled, casting a sharp glance his way. My first solo mission? Today? I’d told him not two hours ago about how sleep deprived I was. 

 But he met my gaze with nothing in his eyes, and I knew he didn’t care, or rather, that I was suffering the consequences for my choice that morning.  

 Swallowing hard, I said, “All right. Anything else I should know?” 

 The Lokke Vitras just lifted an eyebrow. 

 “I don’t know, kuvesk. Is there?” 

 And he left me there, cursing in my head. 

 Prep didn’t take long, and the process of doing it isn’t worth recording. Just know that by the time I was sitting in a skycruiser, on my way to Xygek, I was ready for almost anything to happen, but then, that was the state I was always supposed to be in. 

 When I arrived in the capital, I headed straight for House Kirst’s headquarters and once there, subtly announced my presence. At that point, I knew how to act around high Strata, or rather, I’d known how to do that for my whole life. With my own parents in the Second and Third Strata and my grandmother a shukusen in her own right, it was kind of hard not to learn behavioral protocol.  

 Even still, I’d been isolated from Lutovish society for close to two years. I… made some mistakes. 

 I’m not sure if Orin noticed them. He was a bit too occupied with preparing for his meeting. 

 His First Stratus, Kaeko, on the other hand, did. Or I think she did. Maybe she just didn’t know who I was. She certainly treated me like a stain on the earth during that mission, like most people did with House Kolb members.  

 Soon enough, myself, the shukusenth, and their First Strata, left for the Preserve, and hell, if that wasn’t awe inspiring. I’d been there a few times since obtaining my new role, but this was the first time I'd visited where the stakes were low. This time, I could pay attention to my surroundings.  

 Lutov doesn’t have much in the way of forests. Ibis certainly does, so many that it boggles the mind, but I had yet to spend much time on the other continent. In my home, the makings of a forest sprinkle the bases of the Barasgami Mountains, but besides that, it’s mostly made up of moors, tundra, plains, and the wasteland of the Eastern Reaches. So being surrounded by evergreens, nature blocking out the sky instead of towers, took my breath away.  

 Mother Time, it was so hushed there, and that hush permeated the shukusenth’s conversation. I barely heard any of what they said, but then, I wasn’t paying much attention to it. I made sure to mark my memories of when their words began so I could reference it later. Talira would undoubtedly ask for a transcription of it at some point, but in general, I was more occupied with watching my surroundings. The Preserve might have been beautiful, but it was also different terrain than what I was used to. 

 Still, I caught the disturbance when it happened, although it wasn’t of the type Orin had anticipated. 

 A bear tried to attack our group, and wasn’t that fun to deal with? Poor thing must have decided we looked tasty or something. I don’t know why it started lumbering toward us from where it had been resting, far off of the path. All I know is that I caught its movement when it got up and angled toward it.  

 So, yes. I fought a bear. Managed not to kill it too, Mother Time knows how. I’d rather never have to do something so strange again in my life, but it was certainly an experience at the time, and once it was asleep at my feet, I was grinning like a fool, letting the group I was supposed to be guarding get too far ahead of me. 

 The rest of the meeting continued without a hitch. The only other thing of note that happened came after we'd returned to Kirst’s headquarters. Orin tried to berate me for abandoning my post while dealing with our disturbance in the forest. I had far too much fun explaining to him exactly why he was wrong about that before describing the danger he’d been in while I was 'gone'. 

 But then, I returned to the Lokke Vitras' estate with my first solo mission complete and yes. He went extraordinarily easy on me for my first foray into the world as the Lokke Vitras to come. I’m perfectly aware of that, both then and now, but it still felt nice to report in and hear very little in the way of criticism from him. 

 I went to bed happy that night, getting a full six hours of sleep, just like I’d planned.

Clash with the Ancients

To: Elliot
Elliot, 

   

 Remember to breathe, love. In: one, two. Out: one, two. And repeat. 

 Keep doing this until you’ve calmed down. You’ve always forgotten how much you need air when you’re upset. 

 All right, my love. Are you focused? I need you to be before you continue because this next part will be hard to hear. 

 I’m sorry I had to leave you like this. Right now, you’re probably huddled over me, wondering how you can continue. 

 I’m not speaking from vanity here. For all I know, you’re fine, listening to this with your head held high while you return to your army’s encampment. 

 I believe, however, that you’re like me, and I’ve been where you are too many times to count. You probably screamed your throat raw before searching for clues about… who killed me. 

 I hope you find this before you tear off in a rage. I was never sure about that part. The last I saw of you, you’d left your grandkids in your cottage, having just recovered your memories of me, and once that happened, not a lot of cognizant conversation happened between us. 

 I hope you find this. I hope it helps you until I’m ripped out of your mind, and if not, I hope Victor will comfort you instead. 

 Please, find over the next several dozen hours an account of every important event in my life. Here, you’ll find all the personal details that I kept from you, all my worst failings and greatest triumphs, lightly edited for clarity. 

 May I become as much of a story to you as what you hold in your hands. 

   

 I love you. 

 -Zaeden 

 TTS To: Elliot

Chapter 1: My Life Before
As I took one wavering step after another on top of the garden wall, I cradled my precious burden to my chest, making my fingers a cage for their wriggling bodies. 

 One would think that after so many times making this crossing, doing it now would come naturally to me, but past experience didn’t make the ground lie any less far below me. If I focused on it, my world narrowed down until my balance started slipping, and a fall right now would be… bad. 

 This had never stopped me from getting what I wanted, though. 

 When I reached my goal, I leapt onto the closest tree branch after my array had run through the calculations needed to do that noiselessly. Most of the time, I could do something like this without relying on that lovely bit of tech in my head, but I wanted to make sure I was a ghost among the leaves right now. 

 While creeping along my current branch, I found my target leaning against the base of the tree. The younger boy had his knees propped up, resting his hands on his thighs, palm up, and every so often, he swung one in an arch toward the other, probably reading one of those stuffy scientific reports he loved so much. Once I’d reached a decent position above him, I extended my cupped hands, already hearing the shrieks that were sure to come. 

 Before I could do anything, however, someone snatched my wrist, and I glared at the woman who’d come to interrupt my plans. As she dipped her head in greeting, her impish smile poked fun at me. 

 “Zaeden,” she said. 

 She’d been kind enough to let my array catch her sub-vocal utterance, and showing her my teeth, I quietly snapped them together, at which she lifted a hand to cover her grin. I replied with a message, sending it to her array. 

 Damnit, Feena, getting here took a lot of work. Please, let me have my fun for once. 

 Cocking her head, Feena said, “For once?” 

 Mother Time, I couldn’t decide. Should I growl at her, descending even further into a feral, animal state, or…? 

 No. 

 I smiled at her, letting my widened eyes work their magic, and after a moment, Feena shook her head with a sigh escaping through her nose. Almost, she released me, stopping at the last minute. 

 “Not on his head,” she said. 

 Snapping my eyes to slits, I gave her a flat stare, but when she freed my wrist, I shuffled to the side. 

 Returning to the position I’d been holding before Feena had interrupted me, I unlaced my fingers, pulling my hands apart, and the earthworms I’d gathered earlier this morning twisted and writhed in the air before plopping into the grass and fallen leaves below. One even landed on my target’s leg. 

 With a startled shout, he stumbled to his feet, swiping at his skin, and I burst into laughter. Freezing, my target snapped his head up, sending his blonde hair flying, so he could find me in the tree. 

 “Zae, you asshole!” he growled. 

 “Hiya, Phen-ah!” 

 Something had shoved into me, and no matter how hard I fought to maintain my perch, I couldn’t do it, toppling forward instead. Fortunately, I was cognizant enough to heed my array’s helpful warnings as I fell. 

 When a branch slammed into my waist, I had my hands ready to serve as a buffer, lessening the severity of the blow. It still fucking hurt, but no bones broke, which was a plus. Twirling over the branch, I tumbled once more. 

 With a few more grabs at twigs and leaves, I touched down on my feet, wheeling my arms to stay there. Stepping in front of me, my former target kept his face purposefully blank while jabbing the heel of his palm into my chest. At my impact with the ground, I coughed while my eyes started watering, and groaning, I curled onto my side. 

 Someone landed beside me. 

 “Hell, Feena,” I wheezed. 

 “You deserved that,” she said with a chuckle. 

 “Ugh…” 

 My sister flopped to the ground beside me, leaving my brother glaring at me with fire in his eyes. 

 “Fine,” I said before going deadpan. “I deserved to get pushed out of a tree.” 

 Satisfied, Pheniks dropped to the ground between us, as far from the earthworms as he could get, and thus, he completed the circle. 

 I’d always wondered how my parents had dragged permission for three children out of House Drav, especially ones as close in age as we were. With how regulated that House kept Lutov’s population, most people didn’t have siblings, let alone a pair of them. 

 However they’d accomplished the impossible, I was grateful for it. Feena and Pheniks meant everything to me, no matter how much I might torment my little brother. 

 Sitting up, I scrubbed my watering eyes while reading through my array’s assessment of the damage I’d acquired. The tree and ground had bruised me a little, but since I’d sustained no other injuries, I should be healed up in a few minutes. 

 As expected. 

 Apparently finished with greeting our sister, Pheniks rested an elbow on his knee, propping his head up. 

 “When did you get home?’ he asked. 

 “Just now,” Feena said before plucking a blade of grass from the ground. “I saw Zae strolling on the garden wall while I was headed to the house. Figured I should see what our troublemaker was up to.” 

 “You didn’t get here fast enough to stop him,” Pheniks grumbled. 

 “Who says she-?” 

 Feena kicked me with her pleasant grin never faltering. 

 “Ow!” I yelped. “For Mother Time’s sake, it was only a prank! From how you two are acting, you’d think I did something worthy of the Lokke Vitras’ attention.” 

 Both of them whipped their heads to me, drawing their shoulders together. 

 “Don’t invoke his name,” Feena said. 

 Rolling my eyes, I patted at the air. 

 “All right,” I said. “Sorry.” 

 I’d never understood why everyone was so afraid of House Kolb’s First Stratus. He was only a man, same as any other. 

 A highly trained, could tear someone apart in a second, man, sure. One set to become his House’s leader when Talira stepped down, of course. 

 But still. 

 “So, you’re home,” I said. “What was your mission this time? Can you tell us?” 

 Leaning back on her hands, Feena stared at the clouds while chewing on her lip. 

 “Mage hunt,” she eventually said. 

 Frowning, Pheniks said, “You’ve been doing a lot of those lately.” 

 “I have,” Feena said. “Shukusen Talira’s been pushing me to become an ii hunter.” 

 Pheniks’ breath caught, and I joined him in staring at our sister. 

 “But… you’re only Sixth Stratus!” I said. “Mage hunters have to be Fourth or above!” 

 Rolling her head to face me, Feena smiled at what she saw. 

 “You think our grandmother’s forgotten about that? I think she wants to elevate me soon,” she said, “but I didn’t come home to talk House business. How’ve you two been? Any drama happening that I should know about?” 

 I didn’t want to drop this topic. In all of Lutov, ii hunters had the highest chance of- of dying while on the job. 

 Hell, even thinking that alien word felt wrong. Unless someone wanted it, no one should enter that most final of states, and yet, ii hunters failed to return from missions in droves. 

 But Feena had always been the most stubborn of us siblings, and that was saying something. If she’d decided to switch subjects, we’d do it, like it or not. 

 “Mom and dad aren’t fighting, if that’s what you’re asking,” I said. 

 “For once,” Pheniks added. 

 “Wonderful!” Feena said before wincing. “Does that mean…?” 

 Exchanging a glance, Pheniks and I made faces at each other. 

 “Yes, they’re being very… passionate with one another,” he said. 

 “Everywhere.” 

 “Hence, why we’re outside.” 

 “Just great,” Feena drawled. “Well, we can’t exactly judge them. They’ve never said a word when we’ve brought partners home for a rendezvous.” 

 When Pheniks flushed, ducking his head, I tried not to snicker. My brother had never been… subtle in that arena. 

 “But what about you two? Any changes?” Feena asked. “I know your House naming’s coming up soon, Zae.” 

 “Thank Mother Time for that,” I said. “I can’t wait to be free of House Kirst’s control.” 

 “Show respect, Zae. By educating the young, Kirst plays an important role in Lutov.” 

 Collapsing to my back, I raised a hand to block the sun. 

 “I know, and I appreciate what they do,” I said. “I even love learning what they teach. I just…” 

 Flicking sun-reddened fingers against a blue-and-white canvas, I searched for the words, ones that wouldn’t raise concern in my siblings, that would also fit what I felt. 

 I wanted to be free, a desire I’d always had. Throughout my life, its lack had grated on me, hidden by mischievous behavior and false cheer. 

 Of course, Lutov provided its citizens with many variations of freedom: the freedom to choose what one did with one’s life, the freedom to be who one was without judgment, the freedom to decide if and with whom one wanted to spend their life. But implicit in these freedoms was the understanding that the choices someone made must also benefit their House because one’s chosen House claimed a person down to their spark of a soul. 

 Everyone liked to phrase this as ‘owing one’s House loyalty’, but I knew better. I wanted to make choices solely for myself. I wanted to live out from under the Houses’ control. I wanted freedom. 

 But I’d never have it. 

 “I’m ready to move on with my life,” I said. “But hey! A few more weeks and I’ll do just that. You should hear what Phen’s been up to.” 

 My brother started yammering about a new experiment he’d begun while Feena indulgently listened, and I flung my arms to either side of me, closing my eyes. 

 What was I doing? Longing for something I’d never have? Taking joy in the persona I maintained? I hadn’t been taught to act like this, or rather, I hadn’t taught myself this behavior. 

 How I lived my life definitely wasn’t something that one could learn in Lutov’s educational system. 

 Because of our family’s position, my siblings and I had started our lesson rotations in House Kirst at an earlier age than most children would. I’d joined a group of older kids, and along with lessons from other Houses, we’d learned how to accomplish House Kolb’s primary purpose: protecting Lutov both from itself and from others. That training had centered itself in two areas. 

 In combat, our instructors had taught us that to responsibly wield House Kolb's weapons, one must rely only on one’s training and occasionally, instinct. When running a mission, one could never indulge in emotions or an exercise of morality. These were the enemies that would see a House Kolb member killed. 

 How we’d shuddered at the first few mentions of death. How quickly that reaction had faded. 

 In infiltration, we’d learned how to separate ourselves from our identity, becoming another person. We’d learned how to forsake the comfort of friends or family for extended lengths of time and how to construct a persona meant only to please one’s target. When worming into another House’s ranks, any slip in these practices could lead to discovery, and once one was burned, one was no longer of use to their House. 

 How the others had cringed at this idea. How quickly I’d learned to do the same. 

 My fellow students had taken these lessons, applying their surface meanings to their lives. I’d dove deeper. 

 Whether I liked it or not, House Kolb would one day become my life. I’d done well in my lessons with the other Houses, could join any of them I wanted, but Kolb was the only one that granted its members more than a teasing taste of true freedom. If I must choose a House, I’d pick one like that, hands down. 

 But if I’d belonged to Kolb with the personality that I’d had as a child, someone would have noticed how little devotion I had for the Houses. Its members were more observant of details like that, after all. 

 Therefore, I’d had to become someone whose very nature screamed Kolb, the epitome of their values, and their values shone through what they taught Lutov’s children. 

 Responsible use of a weapon required detaching from my desires and feelings? To Kolb, I was the weapon. 

 If this was so, I had to become emotionless, analytical, operating only on facts, but I also couldn’t act this way around other people, even House Kolb members. They would have found the change in me disturbing. 

 So, at six-years-old, I’d created the persona that I’d lived throughout the nineteen years since, and over time, it had erased who I’d been as a child. If I let it, it could be me, as it sometimes was when I slipped, but I could not be cheerful, as the persona required. I could not be fun-loving. I might enjoy pranks to a degree, but they must give me no real pleasure. I’d drained myself of feelings, and I intended to stay this way until maybe, someday, I could wrest myself free of the Houses. 

 But that hope, held secret even from myself most of the time, had little chance of fulfillment, and unless I achieved it, I must always pretend around the people in my life. 

 “-combat-” Feena said. 

 Shooting upright, I blurted, “What was that?” 

 Feena gave me an amused smile. 

 “I was asking Phen if you two would show me how much you’ve progressed with your combat training,” she said. 

 With his face souring, Pheniks said, “Do we have to? You know I don’t like-” 

 “Yes!” I shouted, springing to my feet. “Yes, yes, yes! Let’s go!” 

 TTS Chapter One

Chapter 2: Friendly Competition
Grabbing hold of my siblings’ hands, I hauled them to their feet so I could drag them behind me. Our parents’ estate might be far from their House’s training facilities in the capital, but they, as any good Kolb member would, had their own weapons chamber here. 

 As I raced through our home toward it, I kept an ear open for advance warning of our parents’ antics, knowing that running across them while they were… busy would make my siblings uncomfortable, but fortunately, nothing impeded our progress, although Pheniks protested the whole way. 

 The estate’s weapons chamber consisted of a smaller building, standing free of the main house. Unlike where we slept at night, this building’s walls were made of stucco with narrow windows punched through them. The roof’s corners lifted into points, and its door opened manually rather than doing it automatically as we approached. Supposedly, it had been constructed in a style from Ostiu, a favorite vacation spot for my parents. 

 I wouldn’t know. I’d never been. 

 This foreign styling vanished inside with a white floor, ceiling, and walls replacing it. Dropping my hold on my siblings, I flicked through settings options in my array. 

 “So, what’ll it be?” I asked. “All three of us, looking out for ourselves? The unHoused kids against a Sixth Stratus adult? One on one?” 

 Shaking out the wrist I’d been holding, Pheniks said, “I’m not doing this. Not today.” 

 He stalked to a corner, letting it hug him. 

 “If you want to know how I’m doing with my combat lessons, you can request a report on it, the same as everyone else, Feena.” 

 Shrugging, my sister faced me with a fierce grin. 

 “One on one then, little brother,” she said. “Weapon preference?” 

 “Don’t have one,” I said, finishing up with the scenario’s options. 

 I truly didn’t care what Feena chose. Standard-issue Lutovish rifle or bow and arrow from Ibis, I had a basic understanding of all the weapon types typically put into use, never having seen a reason to build a preference for one over the others. They all did the same thing in the end. 

 “Short swords,” Feena said. “Let’s go easy this time.” 

 “Sounds good,” I said. 

 With one last variable added, I extended an invitation to her array, and once she’d accepted it, our white room shimmered into a flat field of grass. Feena glanced around, swinging her newly acquired sword so she could adjust to its weight. Watching her, I did the same, no matter how unnecessary I found it. 

 “This landscape’s pretty simple,” she said. “Did you give up on the fancy battle scenes between the Favored and those from beyond the stars?” 

 “I'm tweaking those,” I said. 

 A lie. I’d been wanting to test myself against my sister since the last time she’d visited. Her placement within House Kolb would be ideal for me. I’d like to know if I met its standards, and using a blank scene for this fight would best serve that purpose. 

 “All right, then,” Feena said. “When you’re ready.” 

 She settled into a loose stance, and since she’d been kind enough to give me the time for it, I considered which of my pre-composed battle plans would work best here. It had been a while since I’d last seen my sister fight so… 

 I started with the basics: a lunge for her torso, some slashes at her sides. Everything I tried would have been a killing blow if she hadn’t dodged it with her blasted House Kolb speed, making her form blur at times. Hell, I was ready to have that tool at my disposal. 

 She attacked me too, of course, but I caught most of these strikes on the flat of my blade before shoving her away. The few blows I retreated from left stinging slashes in their wake. The scenario made my brain tell my body that it was injured, even if it wasn’t. 

 After this had continued for about a minute, I decided I’d learned enough from this. I could easily pose as a Sixth Stratus for as long as I wanted. 

 With that determined, I should let my sister run me through, ending the fight, but something in me had always refused to lose, especially when I had a clean way to defeat my opponent. 

 After queuing a request in my array, I dropped my sword right as Feena took another swing at me, and gasping, she fought to pull her strike, even though that was contradictory to House Kolb lessons. Even though these weapons weren’t real. 

 She teetered in place, almost falling into me, and I helped her efforts to straighten by punching her in the face. Stumbling backward, she clutched her nose with her eyes watering, and activating my earlier queued request, I raised my arm toward her. 

 My very real rifle formed in my waiting hand, and I squeezed its trigger, sending an energy bolt flying from it. It took Feena in the arm, and grunting, she lost control of her weapon, letting it fall from limp fingers. 

 I’d already moved, scooping my sword off of the ground, and with it lifted, I used its point to encourage her retreat from me until red seeped into the air around her, indicating that we’d reached the room’s bounds. 

 “Zae!” someone shouted behind me. “Zae, stop!” 

 But I wasn’t listening. My focus was on Feena and her matching green gaze while I waited for the fire of combat to die in her. Once it had, I stepped away but not before the barest flicker of fear sparked to life in my sister. 

 Pheniks rushed past me, reaching for the seared gouge in Feena’s arm. After a quick inspection, he spun on me with his jaw clenched. 

 “What the hell, Zae?” he hissed. 

 For a moment, all I could do was blink at my brother. I’d known he wouldn’t be happy about what I’d done, but I hadn’t expected him to be this angry. 

 “The point of this was to display my progress in combat training, yes?” I cautiously said. “My instructors have always said that social rules and interpersonal connections have no place on the battlefield. You do what you must to survive. To win.” 

 Shrugging, I terminated our session, which had white walls springing into place around us. 

 “Plus, that burn should heal in, what? Ten minutes, Feena?” I asked. 

 “Something like that,” she said. 

 “There. No real harm done, although I’m sorry you were hurt,” I said. “Should I have done something differently? If I’ve misinterpreted that lesson, I’d like to know before my House naming and… if I’m wrong, I want to know why someone hasn’t pointed it out to me before now.” 

 I made sure to infuse irritation, confusion, and concern in that question, and hearing it, Feena ruffled my hair, even though she was a head or two shorter than me. 

 “No worries. You did a good job,” she said before glancing over her shoulder. “Stop sulking, Phen. I’m fine.” 

 Glowering at me, my brother joined us, and I ducked my head to avoid his gaze. 

 “I’m sorry,” I said. “How do I fix it? Do you want me to finish your House Vaessa homework for a week? Take notes on your experiments?” 

 Crossing his arms, Pheniks pursed his lips while he thought. 

 “No pranks,” he eventually pronounced, “for a month.” 

 I staggered as if from a physical blow. 

 “You- you wouldn’t,” I breathed. 

 “I would,” Pheniks said. 

 That thin-lipped, unattractive grin of his crawled onto his face, and despite how much it had always made me want to laugh, I acted as if it had intimidated me. 

 “Fine.” 

 “What about me?” Feena asked. “I was the one hurt.” 

 “You?” I said. “As way of apology, I won’t tell your fellow Sixth Strata that an unHoused bested you.” 

 Feena opened her mouth to retort before snapping it closed again and jabbing a finger at me. 

 “You’re an asshole,” she growled. 

 I smiled sweetly at her, even considered innocently batting my eyelashes, but before I could decide if that would be too much, a message slid into my array. When I swiped it to centerfield, my siblings did the same, but the reason for our cohesion quickly became apparent. 

 Welcome home, Feena, the message read. When you three are done playing in the weapons chamber, come to the dining room. Dinner’s almost ready. 

 “Great. Family dinner,” I drawled. “Want to go again? Keep ‘playing’?” 

 Touching her burned arm, Feena laughed. 

 “Once was more than enough for today, thanks,” she said. “You and Phen head on over. I have to change first. Mother Time knows what our parents would do if I showed up like this.” 

 She hugged us both before turning toward the exit. After she’d left, I stared at the door, chewing on my lip. 

 I should have let her win that fight. Now, she might tell who knew how many people about how her little brother had beaten her in a duel. Why hadn’t I let her win? 

 “Zae? Dinner?” 

 Jumping, I snapped my gaze to my brother, who was quizzically watching me. 

 “Sorry. I just- I don’t like that I hurt her,” I said. “I was operating on instinct, you know? I don’t like that House Kolb’s training has made violence automatic for me. Who knows what’ll happen once I’ve chosen them at my House naming?” 

 “Then, don’t.” 

 What was Pheniks talking about? When I frowned at him, he flushed, rubbing the back of his neck. 

 “All I’m saying is that you have five other choices. You don’t have to pick Kolb just because mom, dad, and Feena are members of it,” he said before turning an even deeper shade of red. “Stop looking at me like that! Let’s just go.” 

 He hurried out of the weapons chamber with me on his heels. 

 Pheniks could never understand why he'd confused me. I didn’t want to choose a House, but because I had to, I’d done it so long ago that I hardly remembered making the decision. That choice had made me who I was, and even if I’d wanted to, I didn’t think I could change. 

 

 I zoned out through most of dinner, mechanically eating what I was sure were delicious dishes. They were tasteless to me. 

 My family’s conversation became a buzz at the back of my mind with my ingrained persona rising to speak as needed. 

 Perhaps I should have been paying more attention, but I was bored and exhausted. All I wanted was to leave this place, listen to more of my current book’s narration in my room, and eventually fall asleep, but having Feena come home warranted a long family affair. 

 It was good to see her. I cared for my sister, no matter how thoroughly I tried to uproot such sentimentality, but she could have chosen a better day to make her homecoming. 

 I couldn’t pinpoint what had me so tired, and this inability… irritated me. I picked at it while dad asked Feena about the mage she’d brought in, while Pheniks stumbled over his words when describing his pet project, while our parents’ kisses made my siblings wince. 

 Had boredom caused this fatigue? 

 Since my last lesson rotation, I’d been steadily losing energy. A month with nothing in my life but leftover homework, my brother in the evenings, and my parents when they weren’t on missions had worn on me. 

 I’d been running in place, going nowhere, with nothing to distract me from the futility of my heart’s desire, and knowing that this served as a preview for the rest of my life, I’d nearly taken off for the irradiated Tainted Expanse several times in recent days. Better to die of that place’s miserably imparted poison than to live for who knew how long, trapped like one of the rats in my brother’s experiments. 

 To forever chase a desire that was just out of reach, to strive, to struggle, to serve, to- to- 

 Something warm was tented over my hand, and I realized that I’d clenched it. Glancing up, I found my mother beside me with her hand on top of mine and her brow crinkled. 

 “Zae, love, are you ok?” she asked. 

 Damnit, I’d slipped again. What was wrong with me today? 

 Had anyone else seen through the crack in my persona? 

 From what I could tell, it didn’t seem likely. Dad was chatting with Pheniks while Feena bounced her gaze between them, leaving only my mother. 

 Covering her hand on mine, I said, “Everything’s fine. It’s just my House naming. I’m worried about it.” 

 If anything, my explanation only wrinkled her face further, and she brushed my cheek. 

 “Don’t let it bother you,” she said. “When they call you to the dais, you’ll know what to say.” 

 “So I’ve been told,” I said with a chuckle. 

 “So it will be,” mom countered. “I promise.” 

 Slowly breathing out, I nodded. 

 “Ok.” 

 Patting my hand, my mother returned to the conversation, and I almost tuned them out again, but Feena said something that caught my interest. 

 “-come with me?” 

 “Come with you where now?” mom asked. 

 I perked up. Maybe a change in scenery could pull me out of this newly discovered, constant need to sleep. 

 “I was just saying that my next mission is starting in Zoln,” Feena said. “I know how much you and dad love Ostiu. Maybe you two and the brats could come with me.” 

 “Hey!” Pheniks shouted. 

 I flicked a spoonful of ice cream at her, which she deftly dodged, and while my mother glared at us, dad shook his head. 

 “We can’t. Mom… shukusen Talira’s got a mission for us,” he said. “We’re reporting to her tomorrow.” 

 “Then, let the boys come,” Feena said. “They’d only accompany me as far as Zoln, and I have friends in House Zan who can look after them while I finish my mission. From the information I’ve been given, it shouldn’t take me long.” 

 “House Zan?” mom said, making a face. “I don’t know, honey.” 

 “Please, mom?” Pheniks said with a bit of wheedling in his voice. “We visit Ibis during our House Vaessa rotations, but I’ve never been to Ostiu.” 

 He’d spoken that nation’s name with such reverence, and hearing it, I winced. Considering Ostiu was the scientific research citadel of our world's second continent, his fascination with it made sense, but another, less savory subject had always drawn him there too. 

 My parents knew this, and with the addition of that to their earlier doubts, they’d probably refuse Feena’s request, which I couldn’t have. 

 Something needed to change before my House naming ceremony or I truly would cross the demarcation line into the Tainted Expanse. 

 Scraping my chair along the floor, I shot to my feet, and the room’s eyes fixed on me while my parents briefly tensed in preparation of an attack. At least some people in my family had shown the proper response to an unexpected commotion like mine. 

 “Let us go with Feena,” I said. “Make it my House naming gift. Please.” 

 Cocking their heads, my parents dropped into thoughtful silence. A troublemaker, I might pretend to be, but I never asked for anything. If I needed something, I worked for it. Earned it. I didn’t let anyone put me in their debt and would never give anyone my Favor. Not even my family. 

 “I suppose we could allow it as a gift,” mom slowly said, “if that’s what you really want.” 

 “It is,” I said. 

 “Then, you’d better hurry and pack,” dad said with a heavy sigh. “From what I gather, Feena’s shuttle will arrive soon to pick her up. Right, dear?” 

 Seemingly pleased with having gotten what she’d wanted, Feena was lounging in her chair, hanging her arms off its backrest. 

 “In an hour,” she said. 

 That would give me time for… 

 “Shit!” I shouted, racing out of the room with Pheniks behind me. 

 “Language!” someone called. 

 Rolling my eyes, I glanced at my brother, and he beamed at me. 

 We were going. We were leaving! Lutov, Ibis, Ostiu, I didn’t care where we went. As long as I could escape what had disturbed my self-imposed discipline. 

 TTS Chapter Two

Chapter 3: How to Deal with Bullshit
During yearly lesson rotations, my stints with Vaessa, the House in charge of maintaining Ibis, had always been my least favorite. Mom and dad disliked Zan for reasons they wouldn’t explain. Feena couldn’t stand Drav for keeping Lutov’s population low, and for some reason, something about Vaessa never failed to piss me off. 

 I didn’t understand why that was. The House facilitated an outlet for my people’s stress and aggression, the primary reason we hadn’t fought a war amongst ourselves in centuries, but every time I found myself within Vaessa’s domain, I struggled with suspending my emotions, what with the desire to punch someone around every corner. 

 Maybe it had something to do with the House’s innate ability to attract the most sadistic and cruel of people. Maybe I resonated with the ground-down helplessness of Ibis’ native population. I didn’t know what the issue was, but I hated visiting Ibis because it was where House Vaessa reigned. 

 While I waited for Pheniks to finish his transfer through the Terminal, I tapped my foot in a staccato beat while trying to convince myself that I was only doing it to maintain my persona. 

 Even if this wasn’t true, I was willing to forgive myself for it. I wouldn’t escape what had disturbed my discipline until we reached Ostiu, and once there, I fully intended to recalibrate while within its borders. When we left, I’d have shaken off whatever was troubling me. 

 That was the hope at least. 

 Feena was standing near the entrance to our arrivals chamber, arguing with a receptionist. In the haste of our departure from Lutov, the override on Vaessa’s typical search and removal of high-tech gadgets had yet to arrive, which had done wonders for my sister’s temper. 

 She was throwing her weight around like a toddler would with their favorite toy, and while the receptionist was fighting to present her with an unyielding façade, anyone who was looking hard enough could see how much he was cringing away from her. 

 Behind him, a child of Ibis was waiting with a bucket and mop in hand. A female, it kept its head bowed, especially when it glanced up to find me staring at it. 

 Centuries ago, the children of Ibis and the Lutovish had lived side by side, equal in station, but a disaster had torn our societies apart, and ever since then, Lutov had claimed dominance. I’d always wondered how my people had won out over theirs or how they could submit to something that was as good as slavery, even if no one would use that word. If I ever gained my freedom, I would rather die than give up that most precious of gifts. 

 Pastel green stopped splashing over the chamber’s surfaces, and Pheniks apparated beside the beacon. After shaking off the wooziness that one always acquired during molecular transit, he padded over to me, keeping his eyes fixed on our sister. 

 “Problem?” he asked. 

 Rolling my eyes, I said, “The usual. Paperwork filed incorrectly. Wouldn’t it be nice if we could ignore that bullshit?” 

 “Such privilege would come with great cost,” Pheniks said. “I can only think of one person who pays it, and I don’t envy him.” 

 Ah, yes. The Lokke Vitras. So much trust was placed in whomever held that role with so many indulgences afforded to them because they were expected to serve as Lutov’s shield. 

 I didn’t know whether to envy or pity the man who currently held the position. Of all the Lutovish, he had the most freedom, but he was also our most tightly bound prisoner, if not to the Houses. 

 The receptionist arguing with Feena frowned, swiping his hand in front of his body, and while his eyes jerked back and forth, as though reading, his face soured. Closing the message he’d received, he fixed an insincere smile in place before gesturing for Feena to advance into the Travel Center, and huffing, our sister turned to us. 

 “Now that this annoyance is done, do either of you want a translator inserted before we leave?” she asked. “It could be useful. Possibly.” 

 Even as she’d spoken the question, her face had pinched, which meant she was clearly hoping for us to say no. Given that, I wasn’t sure why she’d asked. 

 “Why would I need to speak something besides our tongue?” Pheniks said. 

 He started toward Feena as if the question had already been decided, but I had other ideas. 

 “I’d like one, please,” I said. “I always thought it was silly that we didn’t receive one during our Vaessa rotations.” 

 Stumbling, Pheniks glared at me after regaining his balance, but Feena merely eyed me. 

 “Are you sure?” she asked. “Translator insertion’s—” 

 “—not pleasant, I know,” I say. “If I’m joining House Kolb, though, I’ll need one soon, right? I might as well get it out of the way now.” 

 Deflating, Feena gestured from me to the receptionist. 

 “See it done,” she said. “Zae, we’ll wait for you in the lobby.” 

 “Sounds good,” I chirped. “I’ll see you there.” 

 Feena and Pheniks left the chamber with my brother mouthing ‘you’re an idiot’ at me before disappearing, and without any family members nearby, I could drop my constantly held persona. 

 So far as I could tell, the receptionist didn’t notice the change in me, but his obliviousness was just as well. Instead of reassuring him about what he might have seen, I could work on constructing a more appropriate persona for this place, although I wasn’t sure if I truly needed that yet. 

 “Come with me,” the receptionist said. 

 As I followed him out of the chamber, I got a better look at the waiting child of Ibis. Its clothes were threadbare, and while its appearance wasn’t quite gaunt, it was definitely getting there. 

 As I passed, it flinched, and at the sight, I fought to keep my face blank. Even if this child of Ibis served at Vaessa’s pleasure, it deserved better treatment than what I’d observed here implied. No one should be abused like that. 

 Perhaps this was my problem with House Vaessa. Perhaps their misuse of something… of some one bothered me. 

 I couldn’t say for sure, and I’d rather not consider it now. The situation set something boiling inside of me, and placing a feeling like that to the side could be… difficult. 

 Eventually, the receptionist led me to a lavish room with a reclined chair as its focal point. He waved me toward it with an upturned nose. 

 “A kalasa will be with you shortly,” he said before leaving. 

 A quick scan of the room revealed marbled surfaces and plasma panels embedded in counters as well as a rolling cart that looked medical in nature. I was sure there was more to the place, but after finding no signs of potential danger here, I let it drop from my awareness. 

 Alone, I considered what to do next. Pleasing the soon to come kalasa wasn’t terribly important, as I wouldn’t be spending much time with them, so instead, I turned my thoughts to the procedure that I’d consigned myself to. 

 Would it be worth it? 

 When I joined House Kolb, I didn’t know whether I’d be deployed to Ibis as often as Feena had been, but in the long run, the frequency of my visits here wouldn’t matter. Understanding the Ibisian and Ostium tongues was merely one more tool that I could use, and gathering such a significant resource would be worth the price to gain it. 

 When the kalasa arrived, I was sitting in the room’s reclined chair, bouncing my leg off of it. 

 “I’ve been told you want a translator inserted. Is this correct?” she said. “Not many visitors to Ibis choose to endure the process.” 

 “I’m aware,” I said. “Please, just get started. I won’t change my mind.” 

 Shrugging, the kalasa moved about the room, preparing her instruments while I kept watch with a wary eye. Save for my brother, I’d never liked the scientist types, haughty as they typically were, but between Zan and Cerullis, the two Houses centered in scientific endeavors, House Zan members were the ones who most rubbed me the wrong way, especially in Ibis. 

 Back home, at least a few constraints had been placed on what they could research, but here, they had Ostiu—a nation and its people—as their playground. During rotations with Zan, the House’s members would never say what they did in their hidden testing ground, so I’d always assumed it wasn’t good. 

 This distaste might, of course, have come from bias. Mom and dad had always spoken of House Zan with disdain, but I’d like to think that I’d outgrown the need for my parents to form my opinions in my stead. 

 All of this was to say that letting a House Zan member, especially one stuck in Vaessa’s territory, mess with my head made my every danger sense scream, but I’d signed up for this. I’d go through with the translator insertion, even if I’d also monitor the kalasa’s progress with a wary eye. 

 When she was finished with her prep, coming toward me with a monitor and an intimidating-looking syringe, I shook my head. 

 “I don’t want to be paralyzed for this,” I said. “I’ll risk taking damage to my eye.” 

 The damage wouldn’t stick around for long anyway, perhaps a day at most, but when a procedure that might cause harm was performed between members of different Houses—or no House, in my case—everyone got in a tizzy about making sure that blame couldn’t fall on them if things went wrong. 

 “Sorry, I can’t do that,” the kalasa said. “If you only knew how many people make that request of me…” 

 She tapped on her monitor, never looking up from it, and all the while, I considered how I could change her mind. My brainstorm only took me a moment; the solution was so simple. 

 Still swinging my leg, I crossed my arms with a huff. 

 “Look,” I said, all superiority and arrogance. “I’ll sign whatever paperwork you need to get what I want, ok? But I won’t put myself at someone else’s mercy.” 

 As the kalasa snapped her eyes up to me, her face twisted. Mother Time, that frown looked like it could split her cheeks in half. 

 “You’re a House Kolb kid, aren’t you?” she spat. “Fine. Sign the waver. Gamble that you have the self-control to keep still throughout this procedure. What do I care?” 

 Hell, if I didn’t love it when my chosen persona worked as planned. In this case, playing up the influence of my parents’ House on me had helped the kalasa overcome her caution, making her more careless about my well-being. 

 After all, because of what they did, everyone hated House Kolb. The other Houses would readily acknowledge that Kolb was needed to keep Lutov safe, but necessity didn’t equal likability. Normally, handling other people’s distaste for my family’s heritage was an annoying task at best, but it had worked in my favor here. 

 A lengthy legal document popped into my array, and while it performed a more thorough search, I scanned the waiver for discrepancies and hidden clauses. After I was satisfied, I attached my designator, a long sequence of numbers crushed into a thumbprint-like kernel, to the end. 

 When I focused on the surface world again, the kalasa was flicking her syringe, squeezing a silver droplet through its microscopic needle, and I used that time to deaden pain receptors and stop the production of the hormones that were known to cause fear. 

 Theoretically, these precautions should keep me from moving during the procedure, but they were rarely used. Too many people had gotten stuck in the resulting numb state afterward, lacking the self-discipline to reverse it, and this didn’t encourage others to follow their example. 

 After the many times I’d already done this to myself, however, I knew I didn’t have that problem. I understood how vital pain and fear were for survival. 

 In situations like this, though, having the ability to turn them off was nice. 

 The kalasa had me recline in the chair, and she slowly, carefully stuck her microscopic needle through my pupil, threading it beside an optic nerve until it touched gray matter. She dumped the syringe’s contained nanites there, setting them free so they could travel to my brain’s speech center. Once there, they’d fuse with the neurons required for me to hear the Ostium and Ibisian tongues as my own. 

 A similar procedure, one that granted us our arrays, was performed on every Lutovish citizen when we were small, but it was done early enough in a child’s development that no one explicitly remembered what might otherwise be a terrible experience. 

 I’d remember this one. The kalasa removed her needle, and blinking, I waited for a moment, holding off on activating pain and fear again. If I did it now, I’d probably tremble myself out of this seat. The procedure had surely induced a fear too great for me to distance myself from, and I’d like an alert from my array, telling me I was in perfect health, before returning to ‘normal operation’ as well. 

 “Are you all right?” the kalasa said. “I hate it when I nick something vital.” 

 “I’m fine,” I said. “Just… give me a minute.” 

 As I sat up, resting my head in my hands, the kalasa shook hers, moving out of view so she could discard her used syringe. While she did that, I slowly released the block on my pain receptors while also allowing my hormones to freely flow. 

 As I’d thought, I was shaking by the time I’d finished, but it wasn’t body-jittering shudders, as it might have been before. Only a slight tremor had been rooted in my hands, and shoving them into my pockets, I hopped to my feet. 

 “Which way to the lobby?” I asked. 

 The kalasa looked up from a storecase, where she was making a record of the procedure, and when she saw me on my feet, her eyes popped. 

 “Sit down!” she said. “I have to monitor you for another ten minutes before you can go.” 

 “And I have to meet my sister,” I said. “Don’t worry, kalasa. Your work was impeccable. Everything’s working as it should, and if I find that there’s something wrong with me later, you always have my signed waiver to protect you.” 

 Mother Time, she looked like she’d licked a salt crystal. It appeared I might have made a long-term impression on a member of House Zan. 

 Oops. 

 “Take a left outside. Then, it’s two rights, and the lobby will be straight ahead,” she said. 

 “My thanks.” 

 I bowed to her, and at the sign of respect, the kalasa froze in place with her mouth gaping open. It was still flapping as the door slid shut behind me. 

 TTS Chapter Three

Chapter 4: Almost There
I didn’t know if leaving the kalasa’s care this early was wise, but I wouldn’t keep my sister away from her mission any longer than I must. In an ii hunt, timing was essential, hence my rush with the translator insertion itself. 

 As I followed the scientist’s directions, however, I considered playing a quick prank on the House Vaessa members stationed here. Now would make the perfect time for it, what with me wandering through their facility unsupervised, but in the end, I didn’t think it would be worth it. 

 What advantage would I gain, besides further solidifying my persona and perhaps getting a peek at sensitive information? What sort of trouble would I be in when House Vaessa inevitably tracked the prank to me? 

 No, it was best to resist that urge. 

 When I entered the lobby—a cavernous space with several doors leading out of it—Feena and Pheniks were sitting in chairs along the wall. My sister was anxiously scanning each entrance into this place with tight eyes while my brother lounged beside her, bored. 

 Mother Time, he could be oblivious sometimes. Didn’t he see Feena’s agitation? 

 When she spotted me, she leapt to her feet, and grinning, I spread my arms wide to keep her from rushing me, returning my hands to my pockets when I could. 

 “All done,” I said as I joined them. “Where to next?” 

 “You’re ok? Really?” Feena said. “We can delay for the afternoon, if you need it.” 

 Throwing my head back, I groaned. 

 “As I’ve said multiple times in the last quarter-hour, I’m fine. You have a mission, Feena. You should get started on it as quickly as possible. So, how are we reaching Ostiu?” 

 She stared at me as if hoping the weight of her gaze would drag the truth out of me, and in my pockets, I balled my trembling hands into fists while making a funny face at her. Snorting, she relented, waving me and Pheniks toward a door with a barrier guarding it. 

 “We’ll take a tube to border control, go through Zan’s customs, and then, take another tube to Zoln, or you will. I’ll head straight to where my target was last seen,” she said. “This trip would have been so much easier if Zan would install some of their own beacons in Ostiu, but no. That House has to be too damn secretive.” 

 “Feena…” I said, glancing around. 

 Fortunately, no one was close enough to have heard her complaining about another House. 

 “Yes, yes,” Feena sighed. “Let’s get out of here. Hurry along now. Zae’s already caused enough of a holdup. We can’t afford to waste more time.” 

 “But you just said-” I protested. 

 Glaring at her, I clicked my teeth together, and Pheniks started snickering. 

 “Thanks, Feena,” he said. “With that, you’ll be the target of his pranks for the next few weeks. Maybe I’ll get a break from them, considering he’ll inevitably forget his promise to stop.” 

 As I glowered at them both, they laughed, and for the briefest moment, I let their happiness shine a shaft of light into me. 

 Then, I ripped it out. 

 Sniffing, I said, “You won’t be laughing when your weapons jam in combat training or you wake up to googly eyes, stuck on your bedroom’s ceiling.” 

 I started for Feena’s indicated door, although I soon slowed down so she’d overtake me. When she did, she jostled my shoulder while swiping a hand toward the barrier that was blocking our progress, and it shimmered out of existence. We took the lift behind it into the earth. 

 Here, immaculately carved statues stood in the room’s corners with pillars bordering the track where the tube was waiting. The marble tiles leading up to it had silver flecks in them, and the wall opposite it displayed an intricate fresco, all of which made me wrinkle my nose. 

 Too opulent for my tastes. 

 Leaning into the tube, Feena fiddled with its console, looking as if she’d fall onto the rails beside the platform all the while. While she input our destination, Pheniks waited with me. 

 “How bad was it?” he quietly asked. “And don’t give me the bullshit answer you gave Feena. She’s been gone for long enough that she forgets certain things. Like when you have your hands in your pockets, it means you don’t want us to see them. Are they shaking?” 

 And sometimes, my brother was the complete opposite of oblivious. This fact slipped from my mind at times, and when I was reminded of it, he did it in the most inconvenient of ways. 

 “Maybe they are, and maybe you’re right,” I said. “Either way, it doesn’t matter. It’s over.” 

 “So, if I wanted to have a translator inserted, you’d tell me to go for it?” Pheniks asked. 

 I ran my eyes over him, noting his raised eyebrows and crossed arms. I remembered when years ago, he’d broken his arm in combat training, babbling about how much it had hurt even hours after his body had healed itself. I considered what a translator insertion procedure would be like without my cheats to help, and I winced. 

 “No,” I said. “I don’t think it would be a good idea.” 

 He tilted his head with a sardonic grin and an ‘I told you so’ soon to pass through his lips, so Feena’s call for us to join her came as a relief. Once we’d climbed into the tube, its lights dimmed while its glass canopy slid shut overhead, and after a short delay, it hurtled down its tracks. 

 Reaching Ostiu’s border control would take a few hours, but as we zipped beneath the earth, neither of my siblings seemed inclined to talk, which was fine by me. I finished the last of my homework with the relative quiet of the tube helping me achieve the tranquil state that I worked best in. The occasional rustle from my siblings’ shifting and the tube’s shudders accented our silence, keeping it from descending into something uncomfortable. 

 Once my final work for House rotations was done, I found myself with free time again, and idly, I resumed the narration of the current book in my queue. Scrunching between my seat and the tube’s wall, I listened as a soothing voice told a romanticized version of Lutov’s war with those from beyond the stars, including the sacrifice of the first Lokke Vitras that had driven them away. 

 I’d always wondered if something besides her heroics had pushed those alien beings off of our planet. Based on everything I’d learned about them in House rotations, I found it odd that the innovations of humans alone, especially those from centuries ago, had been enough to force them into a retreat, but that was the line this book was trying to sell. I set my skepticism to the side while listening to it, if only for now. 

 I’d just gotten to the part where the first Lokke Vitras agreed to accompany our enemy to their home, leaving her fate as a mystery for the ages, when light built ahead of us and the tube slowed down. Soon enough, its canopy slid back, and as Feena leapt out of it, I climbed into the room beyond, jostling my sleeping brother as I did. 

 Someone from House Zan was waiting for us in the station. This place had a much starker appearance than what we’d just left, but its plainness made sense. Not many tourists visited Ostiu after arriving to Ibis, not when its other nations made much more pleasant destinations. 

 “Sixth Stratus Feena of House Kolb?” our welcome party said. 

 “That’s me,” Feena called. 

 She helped a sleepy Pheniks out of the tube before striding to the House Zan member. 

 “I’m here about your ii problem. Again,” she said. “You know… you might want to keep better track of them. With so many of them going rogue in recent years, I’m on this side of the water more often than not these days.” 

 “Perhaps we should,” the House Zan member said, “but let’s not discuss each other’s quality of work right now, shall we? If we did, we might be here for a while, and I’m sure you’d like to reach your destination quickly.” 

 “Would you look at that? Someone from Zan, Lutov’s most intellectual House, has a sensible head on his shoulders,” Feena said. 

 “Feena!” Pheniks gasped. 

 He was right to act shocked, but while I might display the same emotion, I didn’t feel it. After she’d climbed out of the tube, I’d seen Feena flutter her fingers at this man. I wasn’t sure what the gesture had meant, but he’d smiled when he’d received it. 

 Kind of like he was doing now. Glancing over her shoulder at us, Feena burst into laughter. 

 “It’s fine, you two,” she said between giggles. “This is Nyco. He and I are friends from way back when.” 

 Mystery solved. No wonder my sister had been acting so flagrantly ridiculous. She’d been trying to get a rise out of us. 

 “These are the pests I always complained about during our lessons, Nyc,” she said. “Zaeden and Pheniks. My brothers.” 

 “A pleasure to meet you,” Nyco said. 

 “Same,” I said. 

 Pheniks merely crossed his arms, and with her face red and her body shaking, Feena nudged Nyco with her hip. 

 “See what I mean?” she gasped. 

 Shaking his head with his eyes lifted to the ceiling, Nyco patted the top of her head. 

 “Don’t you have somewhere to be, Feena dear?” he asked. 

 “Right. Of course.” 

 Feena coughed until she’d wrangled her laughter under control, but then, she strode to Pheniks and me. 

 “Sorry. I couldn’t help myself,” she said. “Please don’t hold it against me?” 

 “As if we could,” I said. “Right, Phen?” 

 With an explosive sigh, my brother lowered his arms. 

 “Right,” he said. “Why I was cursed with two idiot siblings, though, I’ll never know.” 

 I punched his shoulder, and rubbing it, he stuck his tongue out at me. Mother Time, I loved my- 

 No. 

 Emotions must remain at arm’s length. 

 “Ok, you two. I have to go,” Feena said. “Nyco will take you to Zoln and show you around. Enjoy yourselves. I should be back to join the fun before day’s end tomorrow.” 

 “Good luck,” I said. 

 Patting my face, Feena hugged us both before stepping into the tube again, and with a rush of air, it sped into a black tunnel, to be diverted to her destination further along the track. 

 “She’ll be fine,” Pheniks said to himself. 

 This was the first time our sister had shared that she’d be on an ii hunt before leaving to finish it. Of course he was worried. Any good brother would be. 

 What did that make me? 

 “Feena tells me that you two have never visited our lovely haven of Ostiu before,” Nyco said behind us. “I’ve planned quite the tour for you. Just wait until you see Zoln! It’s never what visitors expect.” 

 Another tube slid into place in front of us, and Nyco clapped our shoulders. At the unexpected blow, I barely kept myself from swinging him into metal. 

 “You ready for an adventure?” he said. “Maybe we’ll see an ii before your sister finishes with retrieving hers.” 

 That idea put a fire in Pheniks’ eye, and I bit the inside of my lip. 

 I truly hoped that Nyco’s proposed scenario didn’t play out. Dealing with the aftermath of a meeting like that might be troublesome. 

 I couldn’t show my reservation, though. 

 “Damn. Wouldn’t that be cool, Phen?” I asked. 

 “Yes,” he said before scrambling for the tube. “Let’s go!” 

 Chuckling, Nyco followed him, and I climbed in after he’d gotten settled. Once everyone was in place, we plunged into the dark again, and I resumed my book’s narration. A few more hours and I’d be standing in Zoln, a place I’d never seen before. 

 So far, this trip wasn’t helping me like I’d hoped it would. I’d slipped at least three times since arriving in Ibis, although one of those instances had been deliberate. I’d like to blame their increased appearances on where I was: House Vaessa’s stomping grounds, but I didn’t know if that was the real reason for my mistakes. Either way, I was leaving it to enter Ostiu, new and fresh territory. 

 Would it be the answer to my problem? 

 TTS Chapter Four

Chapter 5: A Distraction
Ostiu was fucking cold. I’d known this from multiple people’s warnings on the subject, but there was a difference between knowing something and experiencing it for oneself. 

 I rather liked it. It brought a sharp clarity to thought, heightening every sense so long as one wasn’t exposed to it for too long. When Nyco had offered us thermal protection on our arrival, I’d accepted it, but I had yet to don it whereas Pheniks had immediately let its viscous material creep over his body. 

 To that point, he’d been quietly cursing the cold, which I’d found amusing. He’d stepped into a nation that he’d longed to visit for years and on arriving, had gotten smacked with one of his least favorite things. 

 He seemed happy now, but that was probably because we were inside. Or maybe it was because of Nyco’s current discussion topic. I couldn’t tell. 

 “We store data on the Ostium population’s genetic trends here,” Nyco said. “Before submitting a proposal, anyone who wants to change our testing methods spends days poring over these archives to ensure that their suggestion will be both viable and helpful toward our long-term goal.” 

 “Reliable production of iisen?” Pheniks asked. 

 “Indeed,” Nyco said. “Feena said you were the most scientifically minded of your family. I can see that she was right.” 

 With a beaming smile in place, Pheniks looked overly eager right now, flicking his feverish eyes over our surroundings. He was bouncing on the balls of his feet, and I took a moment to make sure he hadn’t tipped into one of his manic episodes before returning to an inspection of the storecase stacks in front of us. 

 They looked much like the stacks back home: waist-high blocks with clear exteriors, all spread across a glass-walled room. Inside of them rested memory drives, which held the stacks’ data, as well as cables that wrapped through every storecase, linking their many parts. These cables served as both a coolant conductor and the means by which data was transferred throughout the building. 

 Stations were scattered throughout the room, each with their monitors and connectors to verify a potential user’s identity. Several people had these attached to them. They'd pasted the pads on the ends of the connectors to either side of their necks. 

 Individuals were also tending to the storecases themselves, kneeling or bending over opened blocks. I pointed to one of them, a rather pretty woman with a slight build and indigo hair. 

 “Who are they?” I asked. 

 Nyco paused in his explanation of how his House manipulated a nation’s genetic path, glancing where indicated. 

 “Oh, those are technicians. House members of Eighth Stratus or below,” he said. “They operate shuttles during emergencies and maintain any places that we don’t let the Ostiums come near. It’s a generally thankless position that’s nonetheless essential here.” 

 “Hmm,” I distractedly mumbled. 

 Pheniks drew Nyco back to the subject of House Zan’s experimentation, but cocking my head, I watched the technicians as they worked.  

 If I was ever sent here on a deep-cover mission, I’d most likely occupy this role, so I analyzed how these people behaved: their deference to the higher Strata around them and their quiet dedication to their job. It was easy enough to split my attention between observing them and making a list of the room’s possible breach points. 

 As I was doing this, a set of hazel eyes, almost leeched of color, caught mine, and I paused in my examination. With plain brown hair and average features, the man staring at me was entirely forgettable, but then, he smiled, a tiny twitch of brightly colored lips, and my heart lurched. Internally flinching, I dragged my gaze away, desperate to find another point of interest. 

 What. the. fuck? I’d had many partners over the years, so I knew exactly what that twinge had been, but I hadn’t felt it since… my ninth lesson rotation, when I’d been annoyingly infatuated with a girl in my class. 

 Something similar had never, however, happened with a complete stranger. I must have found something about that man attractive, although I had no clue what it could be, and I didn’t like it when my brain acted irrationally. 

 Time to focus on something else. 

 “-bloodsong?” Pheniks was asking when I returned to the conversation. 

 Oh, hell. Here we go. 

 Shifting in place, Nyco shrugged. 

 “We don’t know how it works,” he said. “It’s not like the Collective, where we’ve had millennia to study it. We didn’t know the bloodsong existed until the Upheaval a few centuries ago. Since then, all efforts in Ostiu have gone to making more iisen and figuring out why the Upheaval created the first one, not on how they use their magic.” 

 “Can’t you just ask the iisen-?” Pheniks started. 

 Slapping my hand on my brother’s shoulder, I squeezed it. 

 “Let’s not offend our host,” I said through gritted teeth. 

 The mystery of the bloodsong was a sore spot for House Zan members, to the point that the topic had become taboo back home. 

 “No, it’s fine! I like that he’s curious. It’s a great trait to have,” Nyco said with a smile. “I’ll send you a few reports on the subject, Pheniks, but I’m afraid that the bloodsong just isn’t my area of expertise. Besides, we can’t talk about it now. We should find you somewhere to sleep! It’s getting pretty late, no?” 

 Humming to himself, he started for a lift to the surface, and as I followed him, I could swear someone’s stare was burning into my back. 

 Nyco found us quarters—a simple room that I’d share with Pheniks—soon enough. While my brother prepared for bed in the washroom, I lounged on top of the sheets, considering what I’d do this evening.  

 I’d like someone’s company tonight—that incessant need for a stranger’s touch coming to plague me once again—and for a moment, I let myself think about finding one of the technicians from earlier so we could get to know each other better. I was aware, however, that that wouldn’t happen. For the time being, sleep was more important. 

 Once Pheniks and I were settled in bed, I had my array start a dream sequence, knowing I wouldn’t otherwise sleep, but with its help, I didn’t once wake up throughout the night. 

 In the morning, Nyco took us into Zoln. Before we could leave House Zan’s headquarters, he warned us that the Ostiums were given more liberties than other children of Ibis, all part of an ongoing experiment. Because of this, he said that they might treat us rudely while we were in the city, and boy was he right. 

 As I trailed behind Nyco and my brother, our guide explained why Zoln had been built on such steep inclines, but I couldn’t listen to him, couldn’t relax. While we’d been walking down the city’s paths, so many hateful glares had been flung at us that I’d started wondering if we shouldn’t return to headquarters. 

 Pheniks and Nyco didn’t seem concerned about the swirl of loathing that we were plunging through, and I was curious if they thought the kill command, set in each Ostium’s tracker, would keep them from attacking us or if my companions were just oblivious. 

 Despite my constant state of vigilance, I had to admit that Zoln was ridiculously beautiful. The mountains soaring above us and the wonderfully foreign architecture on all sides bombarded my detachment, nudging me to let my awe spread, but even still, I resisted it, which I considered progress. 

 Except for the strangeness with that technician yesterday, I hadn’t slipped up once since arriving here. Perhaps this trip was what I’d needed. 

 Ahead of me, Nyco jostled a female Ostium who’d failed to get out of his way. The basket propped on its hip tilted, letting wrapped balls of wool spill out of their wicker container. A few of them rolled into the creek flowing beside our path, and without thought, I leapt in after them. 

 FUCK, that was cold. I didn’t know why I’d decided to jump into freezing water, but I was committed now. 

 With forceful strokes, I pushed through the creek’s moderate current to gather what had been dropped. Once finished, I swung toward shore, eventually sloshing onto it several meters from where I’d started, and while striding back, I gathered other errant balls of wool, always careful to keep the dry balls separate from the sodden ones. 

 As I approached, the female Ostium looked like it would bolt, warily eyeing me, and I extended my retrieved items to it, grateful that I’d insisted on the translator insertion procedure as I did. 

 “My apologies for my companions,” I said. “They’re…” 

 I paused, seeking the right words to describe them, before shrugging. 

 “They’re them.” 

 The Ostium continued staring at me with something absent in its gaze, and sighing, I piled its wool into its basket. 

 Dipping my head to it, I said, “Again, please forgive the interruption.” 

 And I thought that was the end of this strange encounter, but once I’d taken two steps after Pheniks and Nyco’s disappearing forms, the Ostium spoke up. 

 “Why would you help this thrall?” 

 Glancing back at it, I said, “I don’t know.” 

 As I hurried to catch up, shivering from the cold, I wondered what I could have been thinking. Why go out of my way to help a child of Ibis? It wasn’t my place. 

 Maybe I hadn’t wanted Nyco’s careless behavior to create more hostility toward us. That must be it. What else could have prompted something so out of character for me? 

 When I reached them, Pheniks scanned my soaked state with a raised eyebrow. 

 “Decide to go for a swim?” he asked. 

 With my teeth chattering, I stuttered, “I was helping the Ostium that Nyco nearly bowled over.” 

 Nyco looked over his shoulder with a frown. 

 “Why? Disturbing one variable like that wouldn’t upset the overall experiment.” 

 Except I’d never considered these people to be variables or objects. I’d never considered them as anything, actually. They were just people, living on another landmass. Why should they be anything more? 

 “Didn’t want increased aggression causing an attack,” I said. “Trackers and kill commands will only curb the Ostiums’ anger for so long.” 

 Pheniks and Nyco exchanged a glance. 

 “House Kolb brain,” my brother said. 

 “I suppose it doesn’t matter. If you haven’t already done it, put on your thermal protection, and we’ll visit my favorite tea shop to get you warm,” Nyco said. “You can’t visit Ostiu without tasting its tea!” 

 When he started off, I did as he’d suggested. As I let viscous gel slip over my skin, drying me as it went, I wondered how Feena was doing. She should have found the ii by now. Had she successfully captured it, towing it to Zoln while her brothers trotted in her friend’s wake? 

 Or had she killed it? That result might be less optimal than a live capture, but it would be infinitely better than… than…  

 Feena would be fine. 

 The door to the tea shop jingled as we entered, and my array automatically corrected for the place’s excessively dim interior. After assessing that no threats were waiting for us here, I overrode that modification, intent on having an authentic experience, and as a result, the room dropped into near gloom. 

 Cramped, the shop had two, small tables shoved against a wall while a counter separated them from a wood-burning stove and a host of ceramic teapots. Candles were perched in alcoves up and down the plaster walls, giving the shop a romantic feel. 

 An Ostium child, a male, was sitting behind the counter, and as we came inside, it straightened from its slump across the counter's wood. Such wide eyes accompanied its gasp while rigidness seized it, but then, it was off its stool and shooting around the counter. 

 “Honored guests,” it said, “how can I help you?” 

 Chuckling, Nyco said, “It’s ok, Li. These gentlemen are friends of mine, not business associates. Is your mother home?” 

 Relaxing, the boy straightened. 

 “Yeah, she’s here,” it said. “I’ll get her for you, Nyc.” 

 Rushing to open a door that the shadows had hidden, it raced up the stairs on the other side, and I circled around the shop, trailing my fingers along its many surfaces. 

 “You let it treat you with such familiarity?” Pheniks asked. 

 “Sometimes, ingratiating oneself with one’s test subjects can lead to informative results, Pheniks,” Nyco said. “I find it interesting to learn how long it takes them to trust me. Plus, making friends with the people who make one’s tea is always a good idea.” 

 “I see,” Pheniks said. “You have an… enlightened approach to the scientific process.” 

 Having half-listened to them, I wandered behind the shop’s counter to inspect the proprietor’s equipment. All of it was beyond primitive, but besides obligatory soot stains, this workspace looked immaculately cleaned and well-cared-for. Whoever owned this place must take great pride in their work. 

 “You know,” I drawled, still focused on my examination, “based on the experimentation methods you’ve proposed, I’d think you have extensive House Kolb training. Everything you suggested is a basic infiltration technique as well. It’s interesting to hear those skills applied in another context.” 

 Pheniks and Nyco fell silent, which had been my goal. I doubted any Ostiums in this place knew our tongue—given how little we shared of it, it was rare for a child of Ibis to learn it—but on the off chance that one did, I didn’t want my companions spouting potentially offensive drivel when our host arrived. 

 It did so almost as soon as I'd finished speaking, which was good timing on both our parts. Hopefully, this quick shift in focus would erase any indignation I might have spawned in Nyco. 

 The woman—Li’s mother, presumably—read the room well. It didn’t affect the same familiarity as its son, bowing to each of us in turn instead. 

 “Have you brought me more thirsty tongues, honored guest Nyco?” it asked. 

 Shaking himself, Nyco said, “Yes, I have. Three of my usual, quick as you can, and I’ll double your normal rations payment.” 

 With a quick bob to him, the woman said, “Of course.” 

 It seemed a little disconcerted to find me in its workspace, but I quickly shuffled around it, and as it stoked a fire in the stove, I headed for the table that Nyco and Pheniks had claimed. Sliding into a chair beside my brother, I noted Nyco’s set jaw and silently sighed. 

 “Please forgive me for my thoughtless words,” I said. “I didn’t mean to insult you. As Phen said, I fall into House Kolb’s mindset more often than I should, and it makes me careless with social niceties. If it helps, I find your methods refreshing, especially when compared to everything else I learned during my rotations with House Zan.” 

 After a moment where he refused to meet my eyes, Nyco visibly released a held breath before turning to me. 

 “Our lessons to unHoused children are made intentionally dull to weed out those who are unsuited for our field,” he said. “From what I understand, though, you did quite well when studying with my House.” 

 Rolling his eyes, Pheniks said, “He did well in all of his studies, the lucky bastard.” 

 “It’s not my fault that I find each of the Houses’ specialties interesting,” I said. “It’s also not my fault that you’ve breezed through your rotations because of your above-average marks with Cerullis and Zan while I had to work my ass off for what I received.” 

 “And yet, you got above-average marks from every House by the end,” Pheniks said. 

 “Again, because I worked my ass off.” 

 I truly had. Somewhere in my array, I had a record of how many times I’d used an adrenaline burst to stay awake so I could study. I couldn’t say what the exact number was off the top of my head, but I knew it was somewhere in the triple digits, something that would horrify my parents if they ever found out about it. 

 It wasn’t that I’d had a hard time with learning what my instructors had taught me and more that I hadn’t had enough time for everything. I could usually retain new knowledge after a couple repeats of it as well as a practical application, but absorbing everything that the six Houses had to offer during rotations was… a lot. 

 And my poor social life. Besides my rendezvous partners, I hadn’t had a friend since I’d been… 

 Since I’d been six, actually. When I’d crafted my persona. 

 I supposed, in a way, that my studies had helped me with keeping my distance from people. The only reason that my family was so close to me was because of our forced proximity and because… 

 Well. They were my family. No matter how much I kept myself separate from other people, they would always have a hold on me, as I would on them. 

 “All of the Houses appreciate a good work ethic, so the fact that you have one should help with your placement,” Nyco said. “Your House naming’s coming up soon, right?” 

 “In a few weeks,” I said. 

 “Have you given any thought to your decision yet?” Nyco said. 

 Fortunately, the shop’s owner brought our tea to us at that moment, giving me time to consider my response. What Nyco had said came close to scandalous. No one asked an unHoused what they’d say on the day of their House naming ceremony. One of us might volunteer that information, if we wanted to, but requesting it was seen as a pathway to recruitment, pressuring a potential House member into a decision they wouldn’t originally have made. 

 But as I took a sip of my tea, watching Nyco over its rim, I got the feeling that he hadn’t posed his question as a feeler for Zan. He was trying to give an offense equal to the one I’d imparted, evening the scales between us. I approved of the tactic, even as I prepared to destroy it. 

 Resting my mug on the tabletop, I spun it between my hands, fixing my gaze on it. 

 “Of course I’ve given it thought.” 

 Those thoughts might have come years ago, but I had considered it. 

 “It’s a difficult decision, one that will define your life,” I said. “I’m inclined to choose Kolb, as it’s my family’s House, but I’ve enjoyed my rotations with the others as well. How does one choose a different House, though, when it will come before your family for the rest of your life?” 

 By refusing to take offense and confessing supposed insecurities, I’d keep Nyco off-balance, forcing him to take an advisory role. As he hastily sipped his tea, I joined him in that, and catching Pheniks’ wide-eyed stare, I winked. Snorting, my brother dove for his mug to hide his laughter. 

 While I waited for Nyco to recover, I let my drink warm me. This tea was bitter but flavorful, a strange combination of tastes, but my tongue seemed to like it. Why else would I keep going back for another sip? 

 “Choosing a House unassociated with your family is possible,” Nyco eventually said. “I did it.” 

 Pheniks and I jerked back, snapping our attention to him, and at our incredulous stares, he nodded. 

 “My family’s split between Kirst and Drav, which isn’t too unusual given their overlap,” he said, “but I don’t do well with children.” 

 He grimaced as he said that last word. 

 “And children play a large part in those Houses’ assumed responsibilities, so I looked elsewhere at my House naming. In the end, though, my drift to another House has worked out fine. My family acts the same as we did before. The single change I’ve seen is that we no longer discuss House business when we’re gathered, but really, isn’t that how it should be? The two kept separate?” 

 I’d never considered a division like that. House business, when it wasn’t too high Strata for the people in the room, was an openly discussed subject in our household. I didn’t know what to think about keeping another part of my life secret from my family, even if it was something that everyone agreed should stay that way. Doing so with one part of me was difficult enough. 

 Pheniks, however, seemed to find the idea fascinating. He was watching Nyco with a gleam in his eyes while shocked relief pulled on his mouth and eyebrows. 

 Hmm. I hadn’t seen such an intense reaction from him in a while. Could I use something from-? 

 No. Fuck no. Pheniks was my little brother, and yes, I’d cut myself off from my emotions. Yes, I played a role around him and everyone else, but I would not manipulate him. Finding what meager bits of freedom that I could in House Kolb wasn’t worth distancing my brother over. 

 “I’ll keep your story in mind,” I told Nyco, meaning to change the subject. 

 He, however, lifted a finger, scrunching up his face. His eyes bounced back and forth while he flicked his finger, as if scrolling. After a moment, color drained from him, and he snatched the edge of the table to keep from falling. 

 ‘Feena,’ he mouthed, probably meaning for it to go unnoticed. 

 I saw it, though, carefully lowering my mug to the table as I did. 

 “Problem?” I asked. 

 Shaking his head, Nyco leaned on his elbows before rubbing his temples. 

 “A project I’m in charge of just went off the rails,” he said. “I’m sorry to cut your tour short, but I have to handle this problem before it gets worse.” 

 Pheniks was already on his feet. 

 “Of course!” he said. “We wouldn’t want to interfere with your work.” 

 When Nyco looked at me, I fixed a pleasant smile in place. 

 “No. We wouldn’t want that.” 

 After Nyco had given the shop’s owner its owed rations, he hurried onto the street, taking Pheniks with him, but I lingered for a moment. 

 Bowing to the Ostium woman, I said, “Thank you. Nyco made a good suggestion, coming here. Your tea was delicious.” 

 And I was off, racing after my companions. The progress we’d made through the city reversed in a flash, and soon enough, Nyco was escorting us through House Zan’s headquarters to the room where we’d slept. While we hurried down its halls, I took note of the number of people in each corridor and the placement of recorders while occasionally bouncing my gaze off the back of our guide’s head. 

 He was keeping something from us, something about our sister. Was she hurt? Had the ii killed her, and if it had, were we meant to serve as unspoken hostages for House Zan with our status as visitors rescinded? 

 I couldn’t consider any other consequences that might come from Feena’s… death. If I did, I wasn’t sure what would happen, but I knew that I wouldn’t be prepared to help either of my siblings over the next few hours. 

 Once we were in our quarters, Nyco paused. 

 “Remember to stay here until I come for you,” he said. “The high Strata don’t take kindly to unHoused kids, especially one so close to his House naming, wandering around our most sensitive data unsupervised.” 

 He gave me a sharp glance. 

 “We’re not going anywhere,” Pheniks promised. 

 With Nyco’s glare yet to relent, I inclined my head to him, and he must have taken that as assent, given how fast he bolted into the hallway after receiving it. 

 In no way shape or form had that been a sign of agreement. If Feena was in trouble, I wasn’t staying here, and damn anyone who tried to keep me away from my sister. 

 TTS Chapter Five

Chapter 6: This Is Where It Gets Interesting 1
As soon as the door had slid closed, I dove into my array, requesting Feena’s location. She’d last been reported in the mountains to the west of us, close to where the Upheaval’s origin lay. I chose to believe that her proximity to that tech-disrupting phenomenon was why she wouldn’t answer my requests for connection rather than… rather than something worse. 

 I had a destination. Now, I needed transport. 

 And a way out of Zan’s headquarters. 

 And anonymity while doing all of this. 

 Hell. Maybe I should wait. Nyco might help us, and who knew? Feena might not be in trouble. This might be me overreacting to a warning sign that I only thought I’d seen. 

 But no. That was fear speaking. If I listened closely, I could hear my instincts shouting denial at it. 

 Which meant I’d unexpectedly found myself on my first mission. Fear, panic, and all other emotions had no place here. So, how did I get what I needed? 

 Taking a deep breath, I said, “I’m going out for a bit. I need you to cover for me if anyone comes looking here. Say I’m in the washroom.” 

 “What?” Pheniks said. “Did you not hear what Nyco said? We can’t leave-” 

 Spinning in place, I stormed to my brother, taking hold of his shoulders. 

 “Feena’s in trouble,” I said. “Of the two of us, I’m better suited to help her, and you know it. I need you to stay here and cover my ass while I go save our sister. Can you do that?” 

 Leaning away from me, Pheniks kept swallowing as if trying to speak, but he soon gave up, nodding instead. 

 “Good,” I said, releasing him. “I don’t know how long I’ll be gone so…” 

 With a sigh, I ruffled his hair while making a mental map of everything I’d observed in Zan’s headquarters since reaching it, and as I did, the result appeared in my array, piece by piece. Before I could leave, Pheniks stopped me. 

 “Be careful, Zae. Remember, you have to keep your promise of no pranks for a month. I-” 

 Flushing, he looked to the side. 

 “I love you,” he mumbled. 

 Warmth sprang unbidden in me, and I clamped down on it, even as I kept its spawned smile in place. 

 “Love you too,” I said. “Don’t worry. Soon enough, I’ll be playing pranks on you again.” 

 Pheniks either sputtered or turned into an even more uncomfortable mess after that, but I didn’t stick around to find out which. 

 Once I was through the door, I didn’t check whether anyone was in the corridor with me. I strode down it with my head held high and my thumbs in my pockets, projecting an air of belonging as best I could. 

 It seemed to work. No one looked twice at me as I headed for a lift with access to the stacks, avoiding recorders as I went. 

 In my array, I was using what little process cracking I’d learned to get one of them ready for a short shutdown. I did a sloppy job of it, yes, but I didn’t need my work to be untraceable, only to fulfill its purpose. 

 When I reached the cross-section that led to my first goal, I paused, playing with the air like I was reading a message when in reality, I was watching the hallway beyond from the view of my target recorder. I by no means controlled the thing, but everyone knew how to slip through the security processes that guarded what a recorder saw. It was knowledge an eight-year-old should have, whereas everything else I’d done had required all of the process cracking I knew. 

 Mother Time, I should put more effort into learning that skill. 

 Once the hallway was empty, I turned onto it, playing the role of an unassuming House Zan member until I was several paces from the lift. Then, I activated the changes I’d made to the recorder’s processes, which had my secondary view of the hall going dark, and sprinting, I dove into the lift a split second before the recorder resumed its work. 

 The lift had grabbed me at an awkward angle, which made getting out of it difficult, but once I had, I took a calming breath, checking if my array had caught any alarms that I might have missed. I noted that none had been triggered with satisfaction, completing the first part of this endeavor. 

 Of course, everything after this only got more difficult, but that was ok. I could handle it. 

 As I wandered through House Zan’s stacks, I affected the same aura of belonging as I had above, keeping an eye out for what I needed. Thank Mother Time, an opportunity presented itself before five minutes had passed. 

 A technician far ahead of me separated from a group of his fellows, sharing cheery farewells with them. He headed toward where House members stored their belongings while working, a place that should be empty at mid-morning. 

 Had the technician and his friends stayed later than the end of a typical night shift today? Why? And… why did I care? 

 I followed the technician at a distance, moving further from the stacks with every step, until he went through a door. Once I was beside it, I paused. 

 I hoped I could get this man to cooperate with me sans violence, but if I couldn’t, was I willing to hurt another person? 

 If I was to be part of House Kolb, I’d have to learn how to do it eventually. Exercises of morality had no place on a mission, right? 

 But to this point, I’d never had to harm someone, and I must admit. I was curious if I could. 

 At the moment, though, my ability or lack thereof didn’t matter. I was going through that door either way because that was what Feena needed me to do. 

 When it slid to the side, I stepped into a small room, lined with lockboxes, while benches filled the middle of it. For a moment, I thought it was empty—somehow—but a flicker of movement turned me to the corner closest to me, all while I berated myself for not checking it after coming inside. 

 The technician was standing by the line of lockboxes closest to the door, and on seeing him, my mouth went dry. It was the man from yesterday, the one who’d been popping into my thoughts on-and-off since then. 

 And he wasn’t wearing a shirt. 

 Squeaking, I backpedaled to the door. I couldn’t do this, not with him. I needed another target. Finding one should be easy, right? 

 “Can I help you?” 

 Fuck. He was looking over his shoulder at me, which meant he’d probably seen my flustered state. Why the hell was I flustered? 

 Ok. Calm down. Go through this one step at a time. 

 Swallowing, I said, “Sorry. I didn’t mean to intrude.” 

 That twitching smile from yesterday made another appearance, but fortunately, nothing stirred in my chest on seeing it this time. 

 “It’s a public changing room. You can intrude all you like,” he said before reaching for his shirt. ‘Do you want privacy? I’m almost done here.” 

 “No, no!” I said, scratching my head. “I was actually hoping you could help me.” 

 The technician cocked his head while his face wrinkled. 

 “How’s that?” 

 Here was hoping my story sold. 

 “I’ve come to the stacks to make my final run for the day,” I said, “but halfway through that, I realized that I’d forgotten an inspection, one I’ll need a technician to help me complete. Lo and behold, as I’m panicking about that, I spotted you. I was hoping you’d join me.” 

 Expression dropped from the technician’s face, leaving a small frown as his only indication of displeasure. 

 “I'm about to go home,” he said. 

 “I know! I know, and I’m sorry to ask this of you,” I said, “but it’s a quick inspection, and if you help me, I’ll owe you a favor.” 

 This, the only form of currency that my people exchanged, was a huge offer on my part. Favors, even loose ones like this, weren’t lightly given, which could be seen by the sudden gleam in the technician’s eyes. 

 “What sort of inspection?” he asked. 

 “It’s on the emergency shuttles,” I said. “Not all of them, of course. Just enough to fill my quota.” 

 As he considered my proposal, the technician drummed his fingers on his thigh, and I split my focus between hoping that he’d buy my tall tale and keeping my eyes off of his exposed skin. 

 “Ok,” he eventually said. “Give me a second.” 

 He finished changing while I surreptitiously watched, cheering in my head. Part two was complete, although I should probably hurry up with the rest. Who knew when someone would spot my crude process cracking from earlier? 

 Once he was ready, the technician inclined his head toward the door, and we left the changing room. As we walked, I offered him my hand. 

 “I’m Traze, Fifth Stratus,” I said. 

 Shaking my hand, the technician said, “Garreth, Tenth Stratus. You’re acting pretty inexperienced for someone in such a high position.” 

 While rubbing the back of my neck, I had my array force blood into my cheeks. 

 “I did well in my placement exam is all,” I said. “It doesn’t mean I deserve my Stratus, as evidenced by how I forgot to do a damn inspection.” 

 “We’ve all been there, Traze. Don’t worry so much about it,” Garreth said, chuckling. “Shall we?” 

 He waved to a nearby lift, and I laughed. 

 “Please, you go first, otherwise you might be waiting here for a while,” I said. “I have to take lifts slowly, or I make a mess.” 

 I rubbed my stomach. 

 “At least if you go ahead of me, the ride up will eat part of that waiting time” 

 Garreth’s lips twitched again, although I wasn’t sure if he was showing me a friendly smile this time or laughing at me. Not that it mattered. 

 “All right, then,” he said. 

 As he input a floor destination, I kept a careful watch on him, and once he’d disappeared through the ceiling, I followed at a slower pace, looking for him on each landing that I passed. I didn’t think he’d have put the wrong floor into the control earlier, and I was certain that he hadn’t pierced through my disguise, but it never hurt to be cautious. 

 When I stepped out of the lift, I stumbled to a wall, raising a finger as I leaned on it. 

 “Give me… a moment,” I gasped. 

 After an appropriate amount of time, I straightened, wincing. 

 “Sorry about that.” 

 “No problem. Everyone’s got their thing,” Garreth said. “You can’t handle lifts. I can’t stand heights. See?” 

 I weakly smiled in response, which he returned with more enthusiasm. 

 “Let me grab some tools,” he said. “I’ll meet you in the hangar.” 

 I… didn’t want to split up, but I had no feasible excuse to keep Garreth with me. 

 So, I said, “Ok.” 

 We parted ways, and I went through the only door that could lead to a hangar. Mother Time, had they made it wide enough? What sort of disaster had Zan thought would require so much clearance for its members to flee through? 

 I half-expected to find a group of high Strata waiting on the other side of the door, ready to take me to their shukusen, but the hangar was empty of everything but shuttles. Hugging my elbows, I glanced over them. 

 What would best serve my purpose? Most were open to the air, bulky craft, only used for House business or emergencies. One or two sleeker craft were resting at the end of the line, but no matter how much their crisp lines and smaller size might appeal to me, I needed something that wouldn’t draw attention. 

 When Garreth eventually joined me, I was in the transport that I wanted to take, playacting that I was running through its processes. Standing beside the console near the front, I forewent the fold-down seats bolted into the transport’s sides. The longer I could keep from strapping into one of those uncomfortable monstrosities, the better. 

 Garreth climbed inside, plopping a tool bag beside the console. 

 “So, how many of these do we need to inspect?” he asked. 

 Internally, I was cringing because this next part wasn’t something I’d enjoy. Garreth seemed nice. I didn’t want to disrupt his life, but this was a mission. My wants and his well-being didn’t matter. 

 “I need you to fly me into the mountains to the west of Zoln,” I said. 

 Crouching at my side, Garreth froze, lifting his eyes to me through his hair. 

 “Fly you…?” he said. “What do you mean?” 

 “What I said,” I snapped. “Put the tools down, get this transport into the air, and fly us to the coordinates I’ll give you.” 

 Garreth’s face darkened as he frowned. 

 “Who are you, really?” 

 Dammit, I’d known this would eventually come, but hell, if I hadn’t naively hoped that I wouldn’t have to activate the request that I had waiting in my array. My rifle materialized in Garreth’s face, and he stopped breathing. 

 “Do as I say, or I will blow holes in both of your kneecaps before using your own electric tape to secure you to the console,” I growled. “I’ll keep poking holes through you until I get where I need to go.” 

 Wordlessly, Garreth raised his hands, and I backed off. Shuffling to the transport’s console, he input a few commands with me watching over his shoulder all the while. 

 “Coordinates?” he stiffly said. 

 I provided them, and within seconds, the hangar door opened, letting us rise into the air. Reaching Feena’s last known location would take about an hour, so I settled into a seat, indicating that Garreth should do the same. 

 For a while, he glared at me. His silent accusation only bounced off the wall that I’d raised between me and my emotions, and soon enough, he got tired of watching me stare right back at him. 

 What would I do with him once this was done? What was I going to do? I could be ruining my life by running off like this. If it became common knowledge that I’d stolen a transport and kidnapped someone to save my sister, none of the Houses would elevate me beyond Eleventh or Twelfth Stratus, the dregs of society. 

 As for Garreth, I couldn’t abandon him in the mountains or take any other steps to protect myself because those actions might kill him. Murder was- was wrong, in the deepest sense of the word. Death should be an individual’s choice, not something forced upon them. This was what the Collective had taught us: that no spark of a should leave the physical plane before it was ready. 

 “Why are you doing this?” 

 Stirring, I brought the task of monitoring Garreth to the forefront once more. He was looking at me with something like morbid fascination, and facing this, I shrugged. 

 “What makes you think I’d answer you?” I said. 

 “Because an identity check on you reveals nothing, and you certainly won’t share identifying details about yourself with me. I can’t hurt you if I don’t know who you are, right?” Garreth said. “Plus, you’ve guaranteed that my next elevation won’t happen for a few more years. I might as well get something from this, even if it’s just a story. What harm could there be in sharing?” 

 He was right. 

 Fighting the urge to find something other than him to rest my eyes on, I said, “My sister. She’s in trouble. And she’s House Kolb, meaning no one in Ostiu would volunteer to help her if I asked. So…” 

 As I spread my arms, emotions flurried over Garreth’s face before settling into disgust. 

 “You’d choose family over House?” he asked. 

 “Who said I was doing that?” I shot back. “But if it came down to it, I don’t know which I’d choose. Ha!” 

 Despite my best efforts to contain it, my body shook with laughter, and Garreth eyed me like I’d turned into a deadly, wild animal. 

 “What’s so funny?” he asked. 

 “I doubt you’d understand, but like you said, there’s no harm in sharing,” I said. “This—” 

 I pointed at the shuttle’s floor. 

 “—is the first and only choice that I’ve made solely for myself, my only true taste of freedom. After this, I’ll be a slave to my House.” 

 Something shifted in Garreth with a new face peeking through. 

 “Is that how you see the House system? As slavery?” he asked with a dead voice. 

 My instincts screamed for me to tread carefully with my answer to this question. Still. I couldn’t lie here. No one else had come this close to seeing my deepest desire, and yes, I’d conceal it from him as best I could, but since he’d asked about it, I’d answer him as truthfully and cautiously as possible. 

 “I see the House system as necessary. How else could Lutov function as one civilization instead of endless, squabbling factions?” I said. “Its necessity doesn’t mean I have to like it, though. It doesn’t mean that I can’t wish for more. It doesn’t mean that I want to surrender my freedom.” 

 “I see,” Garreth said. 

 The strange face that I’d seen on him slipped back below the surface, and he turned away from me, soon slumping into sleep. I waited and watched and wished that pulling him out of his life hadn’t been necessary. Why hadn’t I gone looking for him last night before this craziness had started? 

 Squeezing my eyes closed, I leaned back in my seat, getting comfortable. We’d arrive to our destination soon, and I needed to be prepared for whatever we might find. 

 TTS Chapter Six

Chapter 7: This Is Where It Gets Interesting 2
Eventually, an alert chimed from the console while our speed slowed to a stop, and tapping into the feeds of the transport’s recorders, I lifted my hand, projecting what they’d captured above it. 

 Craggy mountain peaks and an abundance of pine trees lay below us. I saw nothing else, so I had the recorders zoom to the exact position of Feena’s last known location. In a cleft, scorch marks painted stone, and my chest tightened at the proof that my sister had been there. 

 She wasn’t here now, though. Biting my lip, I had my array scan for any nearby tech use, and for the longest five seconds of my life, it returned nothing to me. Then, I got a result. 

 Nudging Garreth, I waited for him to wake up before giving him more coordinates. 

 “Set us down here.” 

 Once we were on the ground, I moved to usher Garreth along at gunpoint, but he jumped out of the shuttle without any prompting on my part. We hurried along together, although I never let my rifle dissipate. 

 Not until we came upon the rockslide, at least. 

 “No,” I moaned. “No, no, no!” 

 And it didn’t matter that I was on a mission. It didn’t matter that the man I’d kidnapped was standing beside me. This was where my sister should be. She should- 

 “She should-” 

 Mother Time, what would I do? What would I tell Pheniks and our parents? 

 I was only half-aware of sprinting down the slope to a pile of boulders, only half-aware of circling them. A buzz had drowned out my thoughts, soon to become a screaming wail, but the single sound capable of dragging me out of this mire cracked against my ears: the zap of a rifle’s bolt. 

 At first, I thought Garreth had somehow taken advantage of my deplorable slip of emotions, although I wasn’t sure how he’d have access to a rifle. Only House Kolb members and the unHoused could summon that weapon through their arrays, but then, the noise had come from in front of me, not behind. 

 I practically flew through the snow until I reached the sound’s source, and when I did, I dropped to my knees with relief and panic swirling into a confusing mix inside of me. 

 “Zae?” Feena panted. “What are you doing here?” 

 “Helping you! Obviously.” 

 Because she needed it. A boulder with cracks radiating across it, originating in a large scorch mark, had pinned her leg to the ground, but it was hours from crumbling. This mess had probably breached any thermal protection Feena might have been wearing, and if left here alone, she’d have succumbed to the elements long before shattering this rock. Lutovish bodies could only heal so much by themselves. 

 Feena smacked my knee. 

 “You idiot!” she shouted. “How much trouble will you be in when we get back? What will-?” 

 She went quiet, lifting her gaze over my head before pointing her rifle there too. 

 “Who’s this, little brother?” she hissed. 

 “Garreth, Tenth Stratus of House Zan,” I said. 

 She lowered her stare to me with horror in it. 

 “You didn’t,” she whispered. 

 “He did,” Garreth said, “but I can see that it was warranted. I’d like to help, if I can.” 

 Feena raised an eyebrow at me, and I shrugged. It was her choice whether to trust him. I’d already done my part. 

 “All right,” she said. “Start shooting at this thing. On the opposite side of me, please.” 

 She offered Garreth a pistol, which he took. 

 “Of course,” he said. 

 He wandered off, and once he’d disappeared, I rounded on my sister. 

 “Did you get it?” I asked. 

 Furrowing her brow, Feena asked, “Get what?” 

 I rolled my eyes. 

 “The ii. The mage you were hunting,” I said. “What else could I mean?” 

 “Oh. No, the bitch got away,” Feena said. “Mother Time but my failure will reflect terribly on Kolb.” 

 Dammit, I’d been afraid that would be the case. 

 “No, it won’t,” I said. “Give me everything you have on it. I’ll finish the mission.” 

 “What?” Feena hissed. “No! You don’t have the skills you’ll need-” 

 Shushing her, I glanced toward Garreth’s location until I heard another zap coming from there. 

 “Feena, House comes before family. Everyone knows this,” I said. “I’ve already heaped a huge amount of trouble on Kolb by coming to help you. I won’t let a failed mission add to that.” 

 “But Kolb’s not your House!” Feena sputtered. 

 Winking at her, I displayed a cheeky grin. 

 “Not yet,” I said. “Now, give me the damn info, Sixth Stratus.” 

 My sister’s eyes were shining with such pride and fear, and I might have basked in the warmth of it if the mage’s trail hadn’t been going cold. I whirled a finger for her to hurry up, and with a laugh, she sent the report my way. 

 After a quick kiss on her forehead, I scrambled to my feet. 

 “Which way did it go?” I asked. 

 Feena pointed, and after a glance at the boulder, I started running that way. 

 I didn’t like leaving my sister with Garreth, not when I didn’t fully trust him, but he wouldn’t leave my sister here. No House member, besides the ones who belonged to Kolb, had the stomach for killing when directly forced to confront it, which abandoning Feena would be. 

 Lucky them. 

 As I tracked the ii, my array was of enormous help. It detected any microscopic divots in the snow that the mage might have left as well as other environmental changes, calculating my target’s probable path from these signs, but most importantly, it traced the leftovers of magic use for me. 

 The ii was moving toward the mountain’s peak, and the higher I climbed, the thicker the snowdrifts grew around me while I got lightheaded from a lack of oxygen. Since the mage claimed Earthshaker, Vimian, Magsense, and Somadept magic, its flight up the mountain made sense. With the ability to manipulate both its body and its internal energy, it would fare better at higher altitudes than someone who lacked such skills. That plus its enhanced sight and hearing would make it a difficult target to catch. 

 Why had shukusen Talira given such a dangerous hunt to my Sixth Stratus sister? 

 Fortunately for me, I caught up with the mage before nausea from my high altitude could have my guts roiling. 

 “Why won’t you leave me alone?” it cried. “I’ve done nothing to you.” 

 It shouldn’t have spoken up like that. Given the cue, my array pinpointed its probable location, and with my rifle in my hand, I crept toward the cliff it was crouching on, hoping to get a shot on it before a fight could start. 

 “You almost killed my sister,” I said. 

 As soon as the words had left my mouth, I was racing away from the spot, wincing when I noted how the trees were dwindling ahead of me. I was wary of crossing a stretch of snow without cover, especially with a Magsense watching for me. 

 “She tried to kill me first,” the ii shouted. “And why would she do such a thing in the first place? Because the demons in Zoln told her to?” 

 Demons? 

 Frowning, I scanned the shelf in front of me, a surprisingly flat portion of the mountain that a steep cliff was cradling. With a cliff face partially obscuring it, I could barely make out the mage’s location on the other side of the shelf. 

 Still, I could maybe make the shot without exposing myself. It was worth a try. 

 Raising my rifle, I sighted down it, moving my finger to the trigger. 

 “Don’t do it, boy. I’d rather not fight you,” the ii said. “You’re what? Twenty-two? Twenty-three? That’s barely matured for your people, and I don’t like hurting young ones.” 

 For a moment, I hesitated. Why was I hunting this mage? For House Kolb? Didn’t I want to be free of the Houses? Why was I doing their bidding before I’d even chosen one? 

 I could slip away now, heading toward the Upheaval’s origin point. The Houses would never find me there, considering how often they lost iisen to that part of Ostiu. I’d be free. 

 But alone. The way I was now, I was distant from everyone in my life, but they were with me. If I ran from the Houses, I’d never see my family again. No more mom and dad. No more Pheniks. No more Feena. I’d never have another partner in my life. 

 And that was unacceptable. 

 “I don’t have a choice,” I said. 

 I squeezed the trigger, sending a bolt of light flying toward where the ii was hiding, and my array informed me of movement. 

 Shit.  

 I started running while stone streaked through the air behind me. The mage stayed where it was, content to keep the high ground, which was smart for many reasons. Not only was the spot more defensible, but the ii knew I couldn’t come near it while it stayed there. If I did, it would use its Somadept magic to stop my heart or deaden the neurons in my brain. 

 Still, I abandoned the tress, needing a better angle. 

 A wall of stone rose in front of me, and I barely made the leap to stand on top of it before it blocked me off. As I left the ground behind, I released one, two, three shots—barely staying balanced from my rifle’s recoil—before sprinting along the wall. I jumped behind it when earth spikes started flying for me. 

 Maybe I could trick the mage into giving me a lift into the trees. If I were in the forest’s canopy, the danger of its Earthshaker magic would be lessened, and a gain of height would put me on the same level as it. 

 The wall behind me collapsed, and I got off another two shots before the air was clear of dust and puffing snow. 

 No, that plan would never work. The mage’s control on the earth was too strong- 

 Something tugged on my calf, making an alert go off in my array. Whatever had just passed through my leg, it had made a hole in its muscle, clipping a tendon. Fuck. 

 While my body began repairs, I stumbled toward a cliff face, although the pain raking up my leg slowed me down. I had to get out of sight and give myself time. Racing toward an abundance of the weapon that my enemy favored raised screeching alarms in my head, but I needed- 

 Unbelievable pressure built in my chest as my heart shuddered to a stop, and my array shrieked of partial brain stem failure. Somadept magic. 

 Panicking, I reflexively pressed my fingers to my neck while retreating, begging for a pulse to leap beneath my touch. 

 And it did. Why would my enemy relent before killing me?  

 That question didn’t stop me from backpedaling as fast as I could, of course, desperate to create distance between me and the mage. It must have moved. I couldn’t have been stupid enough to otherwise get in its range, right? 

 “Please, give up!” the ii shouted. “I don’t want to do this.” 

 Yup. It had moved. 

 Lifting my rifle, I sprayed bolts in the direction that the voice had come from and received a hissing scream as a reward. Someone tumbled off of the cliff with snow cushioning its fall, and as it stumbled to its feet, clutching its shoulder, I aimed for the kill. 

 And couldn’t take the shot. Why couldn’t I-? 

 A night sky of supernovas bloomed in my chest while crackling agony overrode my thoughts, but I couldn’t scream to ease it, couldn’t breathe. With difficulty, I read an alert, telling me of shredded lungs and a perforated gut, and an unreasoning urge to laugh rose when I glanced at my chest. 

 Dozens of stone studs had punched through my skin, and with trembling hands, I reached behind me, closing my fingers around rocky tubes. An interlocked grid of tiny, stone spears. The mage had riddled me with rock. 

 “I’m so sorry,” it sobbed. “Please, it didn’t want…” 

 It came into view, a beautiful woman with tears shimmering in its ethereally white eyes. My murderer. 

 Because I wouldn’t survive this. The damage wouldn’t kill me as quickly as it would for someone like this mage, not with my body fighting to fix itself. If I were to survive it, though, I’d need someone’s help, someone who might get me to a clinic or hospital before everything failed, but alone as I was, I would die. Gone to the Collective before my time. 

 The mage took another step forward, but to my total surprise, I felt no anger toward it. It had been the better fighter, and it… no. She had only wanted her freedom, the same as me. 

 Given that, she couldn’t stay here, not when a House Kolb member would soon come after her with a vengeance. If she wanted to achieve the goal that she’d worked so hard for, she needed to run. 

 Before I could try choking that out for her, someone sprayed snow over my body in their abrupt stop, which meant they’d been using House Kolb speed. Had to have been. Who-? 

 A shriek preceded the resumption of stone’s impossible flight through the air with the mage streaking away from us, but my rescuer, whoever they were, moved. Even as my brain struggled to keep me awake, I was aware enough to marvel at them. They dodged speeding pebbles and hopped over barriers before they’d started rising, and within five beats of my slowing heart, they’d taken hold of the ii. She was touching them, meaning her Viminan magic should be draining them of energy, but my rescuer appeared unaffected, quickly getting their hands in place to snap her neck. 

 She crumpled into the snow, which echoed a faint pang of loss in me, and they… no. With them standing still, I could tell that my rescuer was most likely a man. 

 He stood, unmoving, over the mage’s body for a moment before jerking upright with his gasp rattling the stillness. Spinning my way, he raced toward me with a corona of black steadily erasing him. He only overtook my slip into darkness as my vision shuttered to pinpricks, and I recognized him. 

 Garreth reached for me— 

 “I’ve got you, Zaeden.” 

 —and I was gone. 

 TTS Chapter Seven

Chapter 8: Attracting Unwanted Attention
“-haven’t seen someone show such promise in ages, Talira. He’ll work well. Start the process.” 

 Why did that… voice sound-? 

 “We can discuss it after you get home.” 

 Oo, she was… tense… I- 

 “In the meantime, get my grandchildren to Zoln. Alive, please.” 

 “Yes, my shukusen.” 

 How did I… know-? 

 

 The acrid scent of sterilization rushed into my nose when I woke up. 

 When. I. woke up. I was alive. Holy shit. How? 

 “-asleep. I- I’m grateful we had help. If I can ever do something for you…” 

 Feena! 

 Slowly, I opened my eyes, wincing while my array adjusted my pupils to fight the ridiculous amount of light around me. A plain, tiled ceiling greeted me, and when I oh-so-carefully moved my head on my pillow, I saw IV lines running toward my arm and a mass-produced blanket covering my body. 

 I was lying in a hospital bed. How the hell had I reached a hospital before my body failed on me? 

 My sister was sitting on the bed beside mine, perfectly healthy. Alive. 

 I’d accomplished what I’d set out to do, and for now, I let relief take root. It seemed like a just reward for saving her. 

 A man was standing beside the bed, angled toward Feena with his arms crossed behind his back. His features looked a little off, smeared from the ones I remembered, but I recognized Garreth. He’d… saved my life, absolutely annihilating that ii. 

 The ii… Despite what she’d done to me, I… hadn’t wanted to see her dead. Strange. 

 With a mental headshake, I focused. 

 I’d never seen anything like what Garreth had done. Obviously, he wasn’t a Tenth Stratus of House Zan. Was he on a deep-cover mission here? If so, how badly had I fucked it up for him? Also, how the hell had I happened to kidnap a House Kolb member while he’d been using a Zan persona? 

 “Don’t offer me a favor, Sixth Stratus,” he told Feena. “You don’t know who I am, just that I found saving your brother’s life convenient.” 

 Feena’s face fell. I had no doubt that she wanted to clear the debt she owed this man, and if he wouldn’t accept a favor from her, she wasn’t sure how she could do that. 

 “He’s right, Feena dear. Don’t put yourself at the mercy of someone you barely know.” 

 Between my sister and ‘Garreth’, an image of Talira, my grandmother and House Kolb’s shukusen, was floating. From here, I couldn’t see much of her, only the back of her head, but I knew her stern features well. 

 “Let’s focus,” she said. “I’m glad to know that Zaeden’s stable, the reckless idiot, but that’s not why I requested this connection. Mission reports, please?” 

 Feena shifted on her bed, growing tense when Garreth nodded for her to start. 

 “I tracked my assigned target toward the Upheaval’s origin point, using information on newly scouted trails provided by a friend here,” she said. “It got me through a few difficult crossings more quickly than normal but I…” 

 Flushing, Feena ducked her head. 

 “I started relying on it and my array’s alerts more than my own sight, which was enormously stupid, I know.” 

 No wonder she was embarrassed. Hell, she should be. Even the unHoused knew that unless one must, depending entirely on tech was a bad idea. 

 “The ii got the drop on me,” Feena continued. “It triggered a rockslide. I took a few shots at it before it sprinted out of range, but from what I could tell, none of them landed. I thought I was dead, but then, my idiot brother showed up with him.” 

 She jabbed a finger at Garreth, who was standing motionless at her side. Like a statue. 

 Also. Why did people keep calling me an idiot? 

 “Zae convinced me to let him continue the mission in my stead, which again was stupid, but-” 

 “House before family,” Garreth said. 

 Pausing, Feena darted a glance his way with a tick starting at the corner of her mouth. 

 “Yes. That,” she said. “Zaeden ran off, and once he was clear, this man—” 

 Again, she pointed at Garreth. 

 “—who has yet to share his true name or Stratus, by the way, shattered the boulder that I’d been working for hours to break, quickly treated my injury while telling me to stay put, and raced after Zae. I don’t know what happened with the ii, but he brought my brother back, barely clinging to life. Fucking ignored my questions about what had happened.” 

 Gasping, Feena gritted her teeth, slowly loosening the fists that she had clenched in her lap. 

 “He’s my little brother. Of course I lost it when I saw him like…” 

 As she fell silent, Garreth sighed. 

 “I got them onto the transport, stabilized them, and activated stasis until we returned here,” he said. 

 Stasis? But I thought I’d heard something before waking up. Had it just been the imaginings of a dying mind? 

 Stasis would explain how I’d gotten here before dying, though. After passing out, I’d had maybe… a handful of minutes left. I would have barely lasted long enough to reach the transport, let alone making it to Zoln. 

 “Ok. Given the extraordinary circumstances, clearing this up with shukusen Arion shouldn’t be too difficult. We might even get lucky enough to avoid blow-back from it,” Talira said. “Even still. Feena, dear, you and I need to have a chat when you get home.” 

 My sister winced, as well she should. Lectures from our grandmother were never fun. 

 “Moving on. Our resident savior,” Talira continued. “What are we going by this time? Garreth?” 

 He inclined his head. 

 “Give me as much of your report as you can in present company.” 

 “Of course, my shukusen,” Garreth said. “Identity of target relatively certain. Details already sent to your array. I leave her fate in your hands. Current persona in House Zan thoroughly burned. Given a day, I can switch to another and return to deep cover as you require. Your orders?” 

 Damn. That had been… precise. Short. This Garreth was nothing like the man I’d met, but then, I should have expected as much from a House Kolb operative. 

 Clicking her tongue, Talira said, “And your personal status, ‘Garreth’?” 

 “Irrelevant,” Garreth said, “but since you’ve asked, it’s acceptable for the moment.” 

 Well did I know the weighty silence that fell after this declaration. How many times had I withered under the scathing glare that Talira was surely giving him? Yet, he stood impassive. 

 “Your orders?” he repeated. 

 “Ensure my grandchildren leave Ostiu safely,” Talira stiffly said. “Then, come home. We have much to discuss in person.” 

 Bowing to her, Garreth said, “Yes, my shukusen.” 

 He strode for the hospital's exit with me watching him the whole way. Was this what I’d become in my efforts to gather scraps of freedom to me? An unthinking automaton, only moving to the orders of my shukusen? 

 Before leaving, Garreth paused, glancing at Feena and Talira, and after seeing them occupied with one another, he turned to me, deliberately meeting my half-closed eyes, and winked. As my heart flipped in my chest, I watched him slip out the door, unable to move or breathe or think. 

 He’d known I was awake? Why had he let me eavesdrop on that conversation for as long as he had? 

 Why did something draw me like a magnet to the door he’d disappeared through? 

 Feena and Talira made their farewells, and once the projection had faded, my sister dropped her head into her hands. Mother Time, she looked stressed. How much of that was due to her mistake, and how much had I caused? 

 I didn’t understand what had made her mess up as badly as she had. I knew my sister. I might have never gone on a mission with her, but I knew she was talented. She wouldn’t have risen to Sixth Stratus so soon after her House naming if she wasn’t. 

 After all, Kolb was necessarily stringent on who got elevated each year. With each Strata that one progressed closer to the top, more dangerous missions might come along, and the majority of those in the upper Strata had to declare someone competent enough to handle those missions before they could advance. So, how had Feena, who’d jumped two Strata in three years, landed herself in this predicament? 

 In the end, it wasn’t my place to question her, and honestly, I wasn’t inclined to do that. My sister was alive. Seeing her sitting on the hospital bed beside mine was more than enough for me. 

 Saying that, I thought it was time for me to ‘wake up’. So, these warm and wonderful emotions that I’d been swimming through for the last few minutes must be purged while I donned my persona. For some reason, doing this was exceptionally difficult this time around, but once I’d accomplished it, I shifted in place and changed my breathing rate before fully opening my eyes. 

 Slowly, I looked around, taking in details that I’d missed earlier, while mapping the room. One never knew when one might need to make a hasty escape. 

 Lifting my hand, I winced at the IV stuck in it—never had liked that insertion point—and this got Feena’s attention. 

 “Zae!” she cried. 

 She’d raced to my bedside before I could turn her way, clinging to its edge, and damn, her face was a mess when it was this close, flushed with her eyes bloodshot and her nose red. 

 “Hey,” I said, “you look good.” 

 She truly did. After the mountains, any view of my sister was fantastic.  

 With a hesitant chuckle, she swiped at her nose. 

 “I look as good as you do,” she said. “How do you feel?” 

 “Fine. Why-?” 

 I pursed my lips as if just now remembering the events of the last few hours before resting my fingers on my chest. It was, as expected, whole with no bandages wrapped around it. The only reason I was hooked up to an IV was to replace any fluids that I might have lost while bleeding out, and I’d probably woken up in a hospital bed instead of a more comfortable room so this place’s professionals could monitor me. Rapid regeneration drugs sometimes caused unpleasant side effects, although that was rare. 

 “What happened?” I asked. 

 I remembered everything, of course, but I was interested in what Feena would tell me. Storm clouds gathered on her face while she slid her gaze away from mine. 

 “You were hurt. Badly,” she said. “You almost d-” 

 She choked on the word, so I provided it for her. 

 “Died? Yeah, I remember that much,” I said. “The fight. The injury to my calf. Mother Time, I should have deadened the pain receptors around it. That would have made me faster. Could maybe have kept the ii from turning my lungs into a honeycomb too.” 

 Feena made a funny noise, something between a sob and a laugh. 

 “Only you could wake up from something that awful and analyze what you did wrong,” she said. 

 Cocking my head, I said, “Of course. How else will I learn from my mistakes? I’m curious how I survived, though. Last I remember, the mage was standing over me.” 

 “Oh. Um.” 

 Biting her lip, Feena started playing with the blanket draped over me. Had someone told her to keep the truth to herself? 

 “That House Zan technician you kidnapped?” she said. “He was actually a House Kolb member on a deep-cover mission. He saved your life.” 

 “Wow! I must have a nose for people from Kolb,” I said before making a face. “Oh, shit. Did I ruin his mission?” 

 “I think so,” Feena said. “Don’t worry about it, though. He didn’t seem upset. In fact, he looked pretty amused by the whole situation.” 

 Oh, good. I hadn’t pissed ‘Garreth’ off. From the brief glimpse I’d caught of that man’s true nature, I knew I didn’t want him as an enemy. 

 “How high stratus do you think he is?” I idly asked. 

 Shrugging, Feena said, “No clue, but I’d guess fairly high. Third or maybe Second.” 

 Which meant I’d never see him again. It was probably a good thing, considering my aspirations to remain unnoticed in the middle Strata’s ranks, so why did my heart twinge at the thought? 

 “Mother Time, Feena,” I said, “the things I said to him…” 

 Oh, fuck. The things I’d said to him. The peek I’d given him into my heart’s desire. Please, for the love of anything that might be holy, say that Garreth forgot about me. 

 Feena laughed at my distress, ruffling my hair. 

 “Don’t worry,” she said. “If he gives you trouble for your exceedingly House Kolb behavior, you can mention it to our grandmother, and she’ll put him in his place.” 

 Maybe she would for most things. Not for what I’d confessed, though. 

 Before I could consider this problem too much, the hospital door sprang open, letting Pheniks shuffle through it. His nervous habit, repeatedly picking at the back of his hand, had appeared, and after one glance my way, he decided that the rest of the hospital room was much more interesting, crossing to Feena and me at a snail’s crawl.  

 When I exchanged a glance with my sister, we both suppressed sighs, but as my brother stopped at the foot of my bed, I threw on a beaming smile. 

 “Hiya, Phen!” I brightly said. “Where’ve you been? I’ve been looking for you.” 

 Pheniks hugged himself, stopping his pick at his skin. 

 “They wouldn’t let me come in until now,” he said. “I wanted to be here when you woke up, like Feena, but they wouldn’t let me.” 

 Oh, boy. He’d be a veritable ray of sunshine for the next few days. 

 Unless I changed that. 

 “Pheniks,” I said. “Come here.” 

 I patted the side of the bed opposite Feena, and he inched toward it like a child caught with their hand in a cookie jar. 

 “Zae, I’m sorr-” he started. 

 As soon as he was in range, I lunged, hooking my arm around his neck. Dragging him down to the blankets, I ground my knuckles into his scalp, sending an unpleasant prickle radiating from my IV’s needle, and shouting into cloth, Pheniks slapped at me. With a laugh, I released him. 

 He stumbled backward, rubbing his head while glaring at me, and I grinned at him. Meanwhile, Feena had one arm crossed under her breasts while she’d raised a hand to cover her snickering. 

 “You are such an asshole,” Pheniks growled. “I come in here, worried sick about you and Feena, and-” 

 “And now, you can see that you don’t need to worry,” I interrupted. “I’m fine. Feena’s fine. Everything will be ok.” 

 Frozen, Pheniks stared at me for a moment, but when I patted my bedside again, he flopped onto it, jabbing my chest where stone had been poking through it not long ago. 

 “You’re still an asshole,” he said. 

 I lifted my hands in surrender— 

 “Granted.” 

 —and sinking onto the bed, Feena covered our hands with hers while glancing between us. 

 “I love you two. Thank you for working so hard to save my life,” she said. “Don’t do it again.” 

 I affected a look of shocked indignation. 

 “We’d never,” I said. “Right, Phen?” 

 With a small smile, Pheniks said, “Right.” 

 Feena rolled her eyes. 

 “I mean it, idiots,” she said. “I’d never forgive myself if something like this happened again.” 

 “And we’d never forgive ourselves if you were hurt when we could have helped,” I snapped. 

 Mother Time, what had that been? I fought to retain more heated words while Pheniks spoke up. 

 “You can’t ask us to ignore you when you’re in danger,” he said. 

 “Because when that happens, I’ll come save you,” I said. “Every time.” 

 I was surprised to find that I’d meant that. Something about this should bother me, having me frothing at the mouth to fix it, but after what had happened in the mountains, I couldn’t make myself care. 

 Feena caressed our cheeks with gleaming eyes. 

 “You’re sweet,” she said. 

 She’d probably wanted to say more than that, but the chance for it was erased when the door again slid open, letting Nyco hurry through it. He looked frazzled with bits of his hair standing on end, and I briefly wondered how my choices had impacted his standing in House Zan. 

 “Feena, a strangely intense guy just pulled me away from work,” he said. “He said that if you and your brothers were to reach home safely, I have to get you through border control now.” 

 My sister caught my eye. 

 “Garreth,” we both said. 

 After she’d risen from bed, I threw the blankets off of me while ripping out my IV. 

 “What’s going on?” Pheniks said. “Who’s Garreth?” 

 Nudging him off the bed, I swung my legs over its side, pausing to let the room stop spinning before getting up. 

 “Don’t worry about it. All that matters is that we’re going home,” I said. “I hope someone has a change of clothes for me. I can’t go wandering down public halls in this flimsy thing, not if we want to avoid drawing attention our way.” 

 I plucked at my hospital gown to emphasize what I’d said. By her bed, Feena pulled something out of the pack that was sitting at the foot of it before tossing it my way, and catching it, I smirked at the high-style outfit that I was clutching. 

 “Nice,” I said. “Who do I have to thank for this sudden interest in fashion?” 

 “Just put it on, ya bastard.” 

 Chuckling, I started changing, despite other people’s presences in the room. Nyco and Pheniks awkwardly faced away from me, but I hardly registered their discomfort. 

 This trip to Ostiu was over, and while I might not have fully accomplished my goal in coming here, I was reoriented once more. Boredom was gone. Focus was mine. Emotions were, for the most part, banished to their relegated place beneath my held persona. I was ready to leave. 

 I was ready to travel to Lutov and its capital. I was ready to undergo my House naming, accepting my shackles. 

 But I was also prepared to fight them. I wouldn’t surrender to the House system. I wouldn’t despair of reaching my heart’s desire, as I had done for the last nineteen years. 

 I would gain my freedom, even if it took the rest of my life. 

 TTS Chapter Eight

Chapter 9: Hello There, Civilization
With my back pressed to crumbling concrete, I counted my breaths, loosely holding my rifle in front of me. When I reached thirty-seven, I had my array activate the mine that I’d left behind. The roar of its explosion rang in my ears as I spun to where I could see over the collapsed wall that I was hiding behind, searching for my target. 

 Pheniks was easy to find. The force of the explosion had knocked him into the pristine hull of a ship, once claimed by those from beyond the stars. Even with the chaotic scene of humans fighting an ancient enemy displayed between us, I leveled my rifle at my brother with a kill shot lined up, but it was too early for our mock fight to end. I couldn’t show off my skill, so I shifted my aim a fraction, and my energy bolt blackened the metal beside Pheniks’ head. 

 He jerked away from this, rolling to his feet, and as he sprinted for cover, I chased him with barely missed shots. 

 Once he’d found safety, he shouted, “Really? A mine? I know you’re still dealing with your near-death experience, but that’s no excuse for breaking the rules.” 

 Ok. Maybe it was time for this to end. 

 Vaulting the broken wall, I let my rifle dissipate, drawing a long knife to replace it. I ducked and dodged between the people that the scenario had generated, but not once did Pheniks peek from his hidey-hole, and as I drew closer, my skin prickled. 

 Ducking behind the ship’s boarding ramp, I scooped pebbles off of the ground, tossing them toward Pheniks. When they landed, smoke poofed into the air, and my brother leapt from his hiding spot, nowhere near where I’d thought he was. 

 No matter. 

 I tossed my knife, and it spun to the tune of machine calculation and muscle memory, soon burying to the hilt in Pheniks’ side. To his credit, my brother didn’t scream, only releasing a single grunt as he reached for the wound, but I ended his misery soon enough. An energy bolt from my reformed rifle punched through his temple, and the scenario ended. 

 White walls replaced a battle between humans and alien beings, and stretching, I eyed Pheniks as he rubbed the side of his head. 

 “You good?” I asked. 

 “Mother fucking Time, Zae! Ow!” Pheniks groaned. “Why would you kill anyone like that?” 

 Chuckling, I said, “Would you rather if I did it another way?” 

 At his glare, I rolled my eyes, turning my back on him, and frowned. Someone was striding out of the weapons chamber, someone I didn’t know. 

 Shortly after Pheniks and I had begun the scenario, I’d registered an alert, notifying me of a participant’s addition to it, but I’d thought it was one of our parents, which this person clearly wasn’t. 

 Black swirled around them, billowing hair or clothes perhaps, and I had long enough to register a sense of familiarity before the door fell closed. Something inside urged me to give chase, but my brother’s continued cursing kept me in place. I had to make sure he was ok. 

 “Did you know someone was watching us?” I asked. 

 Bristling, Pheniks snapped, “No. How could I have known?” 

 I shook my head at him. 

 “Relax. I didn’t see them until just now either,” I said. “Do you think mom and dad are entertaining a guest? With us leaving in a few hours, that seems unlikely, but someone could have arrived unexpectedly.” 

 Apparently mollified by my admission of ignorance, Pheniks joined me in staring at the door. 

 “They mentioned something about a visitor this morning. Were acting antsy about it too,” he said. “I assumed it was a medic, coming to check on you again.” 

 Before it could raise its ugly head, I batted irritation aside. A little over a week had passed since our visit to Ostiu, and people hadn’t stopped treating me like a fragile, porcelain doll, despite how many times I’d insisted that I felt fine. Getting Pheniks to practice with me today had taken every manipulative trick I knew, and when our parents learned about this afternoon’s pastime, I was sure we’d both suffer for it. 

 “I hope it was a medic,” I said. ‘Maybe they’ll tell mom and dad to stop fussing.” 

 “Yeah, you obviously don’t need it,” Pheniks said. “Damn, I don’t think you’ve ever taken me down so quickly.” 

 “You did well too,” I said, punching his shoulder. “What was in that smoke? It was so thick that I could hardly see through it.” 

 Brightening, Pheniks chattered about his innovation, and I half-listened while eyeing the door. 

 The stranger watching us had not been a medic. Of that I was certain. 

 Once a warrior had fought for long enough, they emanated a certain type of aura, one that any combat veteran could sense like dogs did with an impending earthquake. Our visitor had worn that aura like a well-loved cloak. 

 Whoever they’d been, though, they were gone, and I should put them out of my mind. Easier said than done. A message, sliding into my array, helped with that. 

 Zaeden. Pheniks, it read. Exactly what do you think you’re doing? We’re leaving for Xygek in a few hours, and you two are playing in the weapons chamber? Get into the house and help with final preparations. 

 Wincing, I said, “Oo, dad’s not happy.” 

 “I’m blaming this one on you,” Pheniks said. 

 He brushed past me, and I followed, sputtering protests. 

 Hours later, my family and the items that we’d need for a week-long stay in the capital had been loaded onto a shuttle, and the four of us were lounging in its enclosed passenger segment. Relatively spacious, it was lined with nicely padded benches around the perimeter. 

 While the vehicle was in motion, only one belt was required here rather than the full-body harnesses that transports needed. A table sat between these benches, provided for passengers who wanted to play games while traveling, and a cooler was hanging on the far wall with every drink one could imagine ready for preparation inside of it. 

 Usually, individuals and smaller parties would use a skycruiser to reach the capital, as those vehicles could provide a more comfortable trip, but groups as large as ours needed to take a shuttle. Also, other travelers would usually be sharing this space with us, but my parents had finagled their way into a private trip this time. 

 I wished they hadn’t. If strangers had been in the shuttle with us, they might have distracted my family from their favorite topic in recent days: me. 

 I didn’t mind the attention they were giving me, rather enjoyed it in truth. The problem was the amount of it. 

 The longer I spoke with someone, the more my persona cracked, and even if that process was slow, it gradually revealed my rigid control of the emotions hidden beneath it. To this point in my life, those cracks hadn’t spread far enough for people to notice what I’d unintentionally revealed, but sooner or later, that day would come, and I didn’t know what I’d do when that happened. 

 These cracks in my persona weren’t usually a problem. Most conversations included breaks where other people were speaking, and I could reset in those moments, reminding myself of which lies I’d told to which people, but on this trip, those breaks weren’t lasting long enough. 

 I was the center of attention with my House naming the reason that we were crossing half of Lutov. On top of that, my parents hadn’t stopped fretting about nearly losing me. They bombarded me with their concern, and eventually, I left my seat to get a drink, hoping to impose a pause. 

 As I input what I’d like into the cooler, I listened to Pheniks’ restrained hiss behind me. 

 “Lay off of him. Can’t you tell you’re making him uncomfortable?” 

 “Oh,” dad said. 

 While mom muttered, “Oops.” 

 Mother Time bless my brother. When I took my seat again, he’d engaged our parents in a game of phansha, leaving me to do as I liked. Draping over the back of a bench, I watched the grasslands passing by outside. 

 No estates stood against the horizon, none within view at least, but I hadn’t expected to see any. House Drav kept Lutov’s population at its lower limit for many reasons, but chief of these was to make sure that we Lutovish didn’t overcrowd what meager land we could claim. 

 Even still, the privacy that the upper Strata enjoyed must be maintained, and both low and mid Strata must have a chance to lead comfortable lives in Xygek or the handful of villages spread across the homeland, neither of which could happen if too many people occupied too little space. So, Drav kept our numbers restricted. 

 Perhaps if the Tainted Lands hadn’t been constraining us so badly, House Drav could lift their restrictions, but that wasn’t the case. Feena sometimes grumbled that we should crowd the upper Strata more closely together so more people could have children, but she always voiced her complaints in the privacy of the family home. No one, not even her, would dare suggest such a thing in public. High Strata House members deserved some perks for the punishing work that their roles required. 

 When we reached the forest surrounding Xygek, the shuttle lifted into the air, leaving trees swaying in the breeze below us. Lutov’s sole nature preserve stretched from here to the coast: some three thousand kilometers dedicated to protecting the land’s native plant and animal life. Rarely were Lutovish allowed to venture beneath its branches, and when this happened, the lucky few must enter on foot, taking nothing from the forest and leaving nothing behind. 

 I’d always found it funny that Feena complained about the high Strata taking up too much space while never making a peep about the abundance of land that the Preserve ate up. I wasn’t a proponent of leveling the forest, mind you. Mother Time knew we’d wrecked enough of this land over the centuries. I just found the contrast interesting. 

 A glint appeared above the forest’s canopy, and as my heart rate increased, I twisted to my knees in my seat. At my movement, Pheniks and my parents stopped talking to join me at the window. Together, we watched that bouncing light grow stronger until the trees fell away, revealing the magnificence lying in the valley behind them. 

 Xygek, the seat of Lutov’s power. 

 I could never control my reaction at the sight of it, no matter how many times I visited. A sea of towers, all precisely laid out, rose for the sky while glinting skycruisers formed a cloud around them. Plasma bridges stretched between the buildings, linking tiered platforms and sprawling parks at every level, and all of it claimed a monochromatic theme with the clothing from blotchy crowds providing its only color. 

 From its edge, the cityscape rose in a reverse funnel to six, towering skyscrapers with bands and rotating loops of gold decorating them, and the vast spread of Lake Voxmore shone behind all of it. This was Xygek, capital of Lutov, and the only true city that the homeland claimed. 

 “It’s beautiful,” mom said. 

 She’d only spoken what we were all thinking. Something about this city called to the heart of all Lutovish. Maybe it was pride in our accomplishments, both of those who were alive and those gone to the Collective. Maybe it was the stark change found between here and our home in the country. Whatever it was, it shoved a fist down my throat, making it hard to swallow, while tears blurred my vision. 

 When we drew close enough for individual towers to fill the window, I flopped into my seat. The city up close failed to impress as spectacularly as the view from a distance, and I didn’t like intermingling the two. 

 Soon enough, we set down on a landing pad, leaving the shuttle to wait for our return. One by one, we filed into House Kolb’s headquarters, descending a single level to an expansive foyer, adorned with all the trappings of those who held authority. 

 Noting a painting that Talira had added since the last time I’d visited this place, I strode to it, leaning forward to inspect the piece. The canvas’ shifting threads morphed the painting through the process of a bird taking flight. I quite liked it, but then, I’d always enjoyed the art here. 

 As he stopped beside me, dad said, “Another Gazi piece? She sure does like that artist.” 

 “To be fair, Gazi’s quite talented,” I said. “I wouldn’t mind owning a few of his pieces.” 

 Giving me a sidelong look, dad said, “I didn’t know you were into art.” 

 I shrugged. 

 “I appreciate the effort and technique that goes into a painting like this, is all,” I said. “Nothing more.” 

 “Hrmm,” dad grunted. 

 Had I surprised him, and if so, did that mean I’d operated outside of my persona’s parameters? If I had, it shouldn’t be a disaster. People’s likes and dislikes changed all the time, but it meant I’d have to stay within the limits of my chosen role for a while. 

 Before dad could start asking more pesky questions, the foyer’s second set of doors opened, and the four of us entered the office of House Kolb’s shukusen. 

 “Ximon!” Talira cried, striding from behind her desk with her arms spread wide. 

 My dad moved forward to accept her embrace. 

 “Mom.” 

 The rest of us waited while they participated in their normal battle of who could squeeze the hardest, but when they released one another, Talira turned on mom. 

 “Mira, it’s good to see you,” she said. “I’m guessing you’re not fighting with my son at the moment.” 

 With a small smile, mom said, “If we were fighting, could we be in the same room without a sniping competition starting?” 

 “Fair enough,” Talira said, chuckling. “Come here, then.” 

 They hugged, and once that was done, our grandmother turned her attention to Pheniks and me. She swept us into her arms before we had time to react, and we endured peppered kisses with many a wince. When she freed us from this torment, she bopped Pheniks’ nose. 

 “I’ve been keeping track of your studies,” she said. “Alezand and Arion have been raving about your rotations in their Houses. You have no idea how many hours I’ve spent preening over you with them.” 

 She winked, which had Pheniks stumbling over his words. 

 Meanwhile, I wondered what to make of my grandmother’s obvious lie. Houses Kolb, Zan, and Cerullis—two of whom were led by the shukusenth Talira had mentioned—had been jockeying for power since the formation of Lutov. I doubted my grandmother could stand to be in the same room as her rivals for long, especially not Cerullis’ shukusen. Things had gotten… tense between them and House Kolb in recent years. 

 But then, Talira turned to me with her face darkening, and contemplation of her lie fell to the wayside. She pinched my cheek hard, leaning in until she was all I could see. 

 “And you,” she growled. “Don’t you dare make me worry as much as you have in recent days. Do I make myself clear?”  

 “Crystal,” I managed to reply. 

 Biting her lip, she wrapped me in her warmth, placing her mouth beside my ear. 

 “You make me so proud, Zae,” she said, “but I wish you weren’t such an embodiment of this House.” 

 Releasing me, she patted the cheek she’d pinched before returning her attention to my father. 

 While they visited, I circled Talira’s office. As the head of House Kolb, she took up the highest floor in their headquarters, looking down over the rest. It had always been an austere place with not much to look at besides a sideboard and a wall of windows, as well as the obligatory desk and chairs, of course. 

 As I wandered toward that arrangement of furniture, one of the gold rings that swooped around this tower soared into view, and in its shadow, I palmed a device, left lying in my pocket since earlier today. When I passed Talira’s chair, I dropped this device into it before continuing on as if I’d done nothing out of the ordinary. 

 Eventually, my grandmother bade us farewell, and we returned to our shuttle, having made our obligatory obeisance. While on the way to my family’s city apartment, I received a message, embedded in the tightest security processes I’d seen in a while. 

 Zae, it read. I don’t know when you placed it, probably when your parents were distracting me, but your shocker gave me quite the buzz when I sat on it. I cannot tell you how hard it made me laugh once I’d figured out what had happened. 

 In the future, however, I would advise against pranking a shukusen, whether your own or one from another House. 

 Much love, grandson. I look forward to attending your House naming ceremony. 

 As I closed the message, Pheniks asked, “What are you smiling about?” 

 “Just our grandmother,” I said. “She wished me well with my House naming.” 

 Pheniks was quiet for a moment before darting a glance my way. 

 “Are you nervous about it?” he asked. 

 More than I could say. 

 “Not at all,” I told him, chortling. “What’s there to worry about?” 

 Besides my entire future getting decided by a single event. Besides a fault in my logic possibly ruining my life. 

 My brother didn’t push it, thank Mother Time, and within a quarter hour, the shuttle glided into our family’s private hangar. Feena was waiting here, probably under the assumption that she’d stay with us until the week was up. 

 She wasn’t wrong. 

 Once necessary social obligations had been satisfied, I begged off of anything more, claiming fatigue as an excuse to leave my family’s side. That wasn’t, of course, my real reason for wanting time to myself, though. As I wandered down familiar hallways, I sent off a message, one that confirmed my arrival in the capital, before retreating to my room so I could prepare. 

 I had a date soon, after all. 

 TTS Chapter Nine

Chapter 10: Oh Look, I Have a Life
I met Fyester when I was fifteen years old during a House Kirst rotation. We’d immediately hit it off with our shared love of pranks getting us in more trouble than I cared to admit. Before long, mutual attraction had led to a deepening of our relationship and… well. It had been going strong ever since, hence why I was standing outside of his family’s apartment, rapidly tapping my foot. 

 Fyester had always liked keeping me waiting with nearly two months passing before he kissed me for the first time. In most instances, I didn’t mind giving him the time he needed, filling it with homework problems or other projects. Today, however, we were on a schedule, and I was worried that he’d make us miss the first bit of fun that I had planned. 

 Soon enough, he came to meet me, and almost, I discarded said schedule. Fyester’s blonde hair bounced on his head, so boisterous was his step, and his loose jacket, coattails and all, hung over a tightly conforming jumpsuit, all of which sent a wave crashing through me. When his near-purple gaze landed on me, lighting with delight, I called up a list of overnights, stopped only by the promise of what awaited us later. 

 Besides, I could use some time spent adjusting to life without a persona in place before we got to that part of the day. 

 Scampering to me, Fyester swept me into a hug, kissing me, and damn… I could tell it had been a while since I’d last spent time with a partner. I was a bit dizzy when he released me. 

 “Hey, Zae,” he said with a sloppy grin. “How’ve you been?” 

 “Bored. Lonely,” I said. “I missed you.” 

 Brushing my hand through his hair, I kissed him again, lingering this time, and when we pulled apart, Fyester’s eyes were unfocused while he licked his lips. 

 “I can see that,” he said. “Do we have plans for the day or…?” 

 I found it gratifying that I wasn’t the only who was eager to bring our date to a satisfactory conclusion, but it made me more determined than ever to savor this. 

 “A bunch of House Zan members have a gathering scheduled soon, one that they’re setting up nearby,” I said. “I thought we might pay them a visit.” 

 An evil grin spread across Fyester’s face, making me shiver. 

 “Sounds great,” he said. “Let’s go.” 

 With him following in my wake, I smirked at how easily he’d conformed to my plans. Fyester came from a House Cerullis family, making it the one he was most likely to choose at our upcoming House naming. 

 While Cerullis had increased its hostile behavior toward Kolb in recent years, they and House Zan held a deep, abiding hatred of one another with their similar specialties allowing nothing less. Zan ever accused Cerullis of giving them too little research data for their projects, and Cerullis insisted that Zan pushed them too hard for results. 

 I’d never understood what had possessed Lutov’s Founders to entrust the scientific field to two different Houses. Surely, they went better together, but at the moment, separate was what they were. 

 I firmly didn’t think about what would happen to my relationship with Fyester once we were in rival Houses. Romantic partnerships between members of different Houses had worked in the past, but they were few and far between. 

 Our future together, however, was a problem for another day. For now, I had him, and my plans for today should be entertaining for us both. 

 The House Zan meeting was taking place on a neighboring tower’s platform. When we arrived, trees and bushes provided us with ample hiding spaces, and crouching behind a flowering hydrangea, I ran my eyes over the people spread across a field of grass. A nearby table held a variety of picnic foods, but our soon-to-be victims hadn’t started sampling from them yet, still finishing up with their meet-and-greet. 

 Pursing my lips, I silently cursed at myself. I saw no way to harmlessly disrupt this gathering, which was too bad. Fyester had always been more… animated after a prank. 

 When I turned to apologize, however, I found him shaking a vial full of liquid over a veritable mini lab, all spread at his feet. 

 Glancing over his skin-tight jumpsuit once more, I said, “The fuck were you hiding that?” 

 He just grinned at me, extending his mixed vial. 

 “Can you get this in their food?” he asked. 

 Could I get that in…? 

 “What do you take me for?” I sputtered. “A member of House Kirst?” 

 After all, people from a House dedicated to education would only balk at the proposed scenario. 

 The bastard’s grin widened, and he shook the vial. 

 “Prove it,” he said. 

 Scowling, I snatched what he was offering. 

 “I do this, and you have to be especially nice to me today,” I said, jabbing my finger in his face. 

 His eyes were dancing when I turned away, but of course they were. He knew I’d find his challenge easy, and that, in turn, meant he knew what was in store for him later. 

 Setting my array to watch the gathered House Zan members, I had it calculate the probable trajectories of the attendees’ gazes, making my way, step by faltering step, to the table. As often as I could, I hid my approach behind other people, refusing to rely solely on tech for this infiltration, but when one had nothing else, one should use one’s array. What was the point of them otherwise? 

 On reaching the banquet table without incident, I quickly moved along it, dripping some of Fyester’s concoction in each dish. After contaminating the last of them, I stored the vial, preparing to make my getaway, when a shadow fell over me. 

 Spinning, I was greeted by a giant of a man. 

 “What do you think you’re doing?” he asked. 

 Panic was stripped from me while the practices I’d abandoned outside Fyester’s home popped back into place. 

 “Oh, Mother Time. I’m sorry. Was I intruding?” I said, fidgeting. “I didn’t mean to. I just wanted… Oh, I don’t know-” 

 “Who are you?” the giant interrupted. 

 And his blank expression never changed. 

 “Oh! No one important,” I said, rubbing the back of my neck. “I’m in the capital for my House naming. I’m pretty sure I’ll choose Cerullis when it comes down to it, but I wanted to see what Zan has to offer before making my decision. Again, I’m sorry if I’ve troubled you.” 

 As expected, this claim cracked the giant’s empty façade. 

 “I see. You’re welcome to join us if you like, but don’t feel obligated to. It looked like you were in a rush to head elsewhere,” he said. “And if you’re leaving, please. Take something with you. Never let it be said that Zan can’t be generous.” 

 It was a dare, and I knew it. I had to prove my story, or they’d replace this food, ruining our prank. So, I grabbed a fancy pastry off the table before taking a bite out of it. 

 “Don’t mind if I do,” I said with crumbs flying out of my mouth. “Thank you.” 

 While the giant distastefully swiped at the mess I’d made on his shirt, I slipped around him, moving as fast as I could toward Fyester. I already had my array scouring possible toxins from my body, but I’d like to have an antidote for whatever had been in his concoction as well. 

 As I approached, Fyester held out a vial to me, and after grabbing it and his hand, I chugged it down while dragging him behind me. Once we were a sufficient distance away, I tossed the vial into a recycler, and it shattered as I reeled Fyester in front of me. 

 I shoved him against a tree, pressing my body into his while our mouths crashed into one another, and my hands, already in his clothes, curled into fists to match the rise of heat in me. 

 When I pulled free of him, Fyester was more distracted than I’d seen him in a while, but even noting that, I dragged myself out of his gravity well, patting his cheek. 

 “Don’t you want to see what happens?” 

 I led him a few floors above the platform, stopping at a set of windows that overlooked the park, and to the distaste of passersby, we plastered against the glass. We watched House Zan members sample from their banquet, snickering when a few of them soon clutched at their stomachs and outright laughing when several raced away, presumably for a washroom. 

 Oh, we were truly terrible for inflicting something like this on other people, but in this moment, watching Fyester’s face glow, I couldn’t bring myself to care. Collapsed on the floor, he curled his fingers through mine, and the way he was looking at me made my heart race. 

 “So, what’s the plan?” he asked. “Are we finding an overnight? Going back to your place?” 

 He made no mention of his home, but to be fair, his parents might pitch a fit if I stepped inside of it, given my House Kolb heritage. 

 Winking, I said, “I have a better plan. Can you playact like you’re undecided about your House naming for a while?” 

 “I think so,” Fyester said with a frown. “Why?” 

 “You’ll see,” I said. 

 After drawing him to his feet, I led him down lifts, across plasma bridges, and on a single shuttle ride, but once that was done, we were standing at the foot of my intended destination: House Kolb’s headquarters in Xygek. 

 “What are you doing?” Fyester hissed at me. 

 With a smirk, I forcibly dragged him into the lobby, heading for a weary-looking low Stratus member sitting behind the greeting desk. 

 “Hello. I’m Zaeden, unHoused,” I said. “I was hoping to get another tour of the apartment I might gain if I choose Kolb at my House naming. My partner’s having last-minute doubts, and I’d like to appease them.” 

 After I poked him, Fyester made a face. 

 “What he said,” he mumbled. 

 “An easy enough request to accommodate,” the woman behind the desk tiredly said. “Wait here while I request a tour guide’s presence.” 

 With a short bow, I said, “Thank you, ma’am.” 

 When she flicked her fingers at us, I pulled Fyester to the side. 

 “What are you doing?” he immediately repeated. 

 Finally, I had a chance to return the evil smile he’d given me earlier. 

 “I told you. You’ll see.” 

 He was quiet after that, and I was content to watch him and the lobby around us until a voice drifted our way. 

 “I hear you’d like a tour?” 

 The question had come from behind the greeting desk, where a woman with turquoise hair and yellow eyes was waiting for us. 

 “Yes, please,” I said. 

 Taking Fyester’s hand again, I headed toward our guide with a bright smile. 

 Waving at him, I said, “This is my partner, Garreth.” 

 Garreth? I’d needed a false name so Fyester wouldn’t get in trouble, of course. So, why had I defaulted to the name of a man I hadn’t thought about in days? 

 I. had. not. 

 By the time Fyester and the guide had exchanged greetings, I’d collected myself. 

 “If you’ll follow me, I’ll show you one of our temp apartments,” the guide said. 

 She took us to one of the lifts scattered across the lobby with members of all Strata bustling between them and the doors. I’d always found this place severe. Stark. Nothing decorative adorned it with everything utilitarian instead. I hoped Fyester got the same feeling because I wanted our arrival upstairs to have the same effect as it had had on me. 

 After our guide put our floor destination into a lift’s control, I indicated that Fyester should go first while maintaining a white-knuckled grip on the woman’s wrist. Shrugging, he stepped inside to shoot through the ceiling, and I released my hold on our guide. 

 “After you’ve completed your tour, I’d like a half-hour alone with him, if you’re willing to accommodate that,” I said. “I believe it will be necessary if he’s to join Kolb.” 

 Chuckling, the guide flapped a hand at me. 

 “I expected as much when you appeared on my docket. You’re not the first to make a request like that, and besides, you’ve made quite the name for yourself, young one,” she said. “Yes, I’ll help you with your fun. Just try not to make a mess.” 

 I had a reputation in House Kolb already? It made sense, given that I was Talira’s grandson, but even still… 

 Wait. Was that good or bad for my plans in this House? 

 “Thank you?” I said. “I won’t?” 

 “Oh, Mother Time, you’re adorable,” the guide said before stepping into the lift. 

 What was that supposed to mean? 

 Frowning, I waited until she was high above me before making my own ascent. 

 Once we’d entered an empty apartment, our guide went through the typical tour, explaining the protocol that every House followed. Until a new member received their placement, they stayed in their chosen House’s headquarters, only expected to find a home afterward, but beforehand, they enjoyed their House’s luxuries, and Kolb had many of these. 

 I swore to Mother Time, our guide moved through her tour as slowly as possible, showing off the various amenities in the kitchen and living room before finally leading us into the bedroom. With ample space, the room made its centerpiece, the bed, look dwarfed, which wasn’t helped by the floor-to-ceiling windows along one wall. 

 At the sight of those, Fyester—to this point suitably awed—clasped his hands in front of his face before rushing to take in the view from half a kilometer in the air. While he was distracted, our guide lifted an eyebrow at me, and I rolled my eyes. She hid her resulting laughter poorly, and a message slid into my array. 

 Remember. Not too much of a mess, it read. Don’t get me in trouble. 

 When I nodded, she assumed the most believable expression of horror that I’d seen in a while. 

 “Oh, Mother Time,” she gasped. “I’ve got to- Oh, dear. That’s not good.” 

 Taking her cue, I faced her, frowning. 

 “What is it?” 

 With a distracted look in place, she said, “Something’s come up. I’m sure it’s nothing but…” 

 She cast a sharp glance between Fyester and me. 

 “Can I leave you two here for a moment?” she asked. “I won’t be long.” 

 I hesitantly nodded, and dumbstruck, Fyester joined me. 

 “Please, take care of your problem,” he said. 

 With a quick bow, our guide mumbled her appreciation before racing off, and I sent her my thanks, even as I sighed with relief. We could move on to the main event now. 

 Finally. 

 TTS Chapter Ten

Chapter 11: Eavesdropping Is Usually a Bad Idea
With our guide gone, Fyester looked a little lost, so I flounced onto the bed, hoping to distract him. 

 “Well,” I said, “that was strange.” 

 “Mm,” was all Fyester would say. 

 I wasn’t sure how to continue. Did he want more small talk from me? Could I skip that? How could I get his attention back to where it should be right now: on me, not the distraction I’d created? 

 Best to play it safe. 

 “So, what do you think of this place?” I asked. 

 Almost in concert with me, Fyester asked, “Are you asking me to join Kolb in a few days? Because I won’t. You should know that.” 

 Well. His attention was certainly on me now. 

 With my mouth gaping, I stared at Fyester, a little hurt by his accusation. 

 “Fy, I would never influence your decision about which House you join. Not in a million years. More than anything, I want you to be happy with your work in the future,” I said. “But I also wanted…” 

 Dammit. I’d hoped to let this go unmentioned, keeping our current encounter as a surprising, one-in-a-thousand chance, but given what he’d just said, I wasn’t sure if he’d believe what I was about to say, not unless I shared everything. 

 So much for my pretense with our guide, but in the end, it would be better for him to know how I’d gotten us here than to have him angry at me for a misunderstanding. 

 “Do you really think an emergency spirited our tour guide away?” I asked. “We’re unHoused, and this is Kolb’s headquarters. She wouldn’t have left us alone here unless…” 

 Trailing off, I looked away, unable to meet his gaze. 

 “I brought us here so I could manipulate a system that I’m well acquainted with. I wanted us to have a nice setting for this part of what might be our last…” 

 Our last date. I couldn’t bring myself to say those words, though. 

 I might have plenty of partners, but saying goodbye to one always hurt, not only because it was a farewell but because afterward, I’d have one less person I could be myself around. One less person who didn’t require my developed persona when I was with them. 

 After hearing my explanation, Fyester shook his head with a huff, but then, he jumped on me, leaving his feet hanging over the bedside. At the sudden movement, I almost tried tossing him off, as my instincts demanded, but Mother Time, his face was close—the sight of it overriding everything else—and damn, if I didn’t want to kiss him. 

 “Why didn’t you just say that, you idiot?” he said with a laugh. 

 I couldn’t help myself. If I strained my neck, I could just about reach his head, so flinging my arms around his neck, I kissed him like I’d been wanting to. It was hesitant at first, but that quickly changed. Soon enough, my body was insistently reminding me of my need for air while he was digging his fingernails into my shoulders. 

 Hell. At this rate, I might still have marks when we were done here. 

 Oh, well. 

 With a twist of my hips, I flipped us over, quickly getting settled on Fyester’s stomach. I pushed my hands under his pantsuit’s jacket, smirking at his gasp when I found skin, but when he tried to do the same with me, I stopped, raising an eyebrow. 

 “Excuse me. Did I say you could touch me?” I asked. “I know you’ve never had a problem with getting people’s hands on you, but I like to say when you get that particular pleasure, and I haven’t spoken those words yet. Right?” 

 With his eyes going wide, Fyester wordlessly dropped his hands to the bed, and leaning over him, I claimed his mouth with my own, tugging on his hair while reaching for the fastener to his jumpsuit. I smiled as he started squirming under me, enjoying how that struggle got stronger with every tug on his clothes. 

 But then, I pulled free, scrambling off of him so I could move toward the windows. As expected, Fyester released a half-exasperated, half-pleased groan behind me, although he made no move to follow me. Yet. 

 This, the flirt and tease, was a true part of who I was: me without personas to hide me and with emotions allowed in my heart. The version of me that I only shared with my partners, who would never risk my quest for freedom. 

 Turning to the bed, I arched an eyebrow on seeing Fyester still lying atop it, if propped up on his elbow. Needed more of a push to get up, did he? I could accommodate that. 

 As I started unbuttoning my shirt, I turned back toward the windows, and when I shrugged out of it, Fyester’s breath caught. 

 “Fuck me,” he whispered. 

 That had been quiet enough that I wasn’t sure if he’d meant for me to hear it. Either way, I didn’t care, not when I heard the bed creaking behind me. Soon Fyester was wrapping hesitant arms around my waist and trailing kisses along my shoulder. 

 Putting my lips as close to his ear as I could get them, I said, “Fuck you? That’s the idea, isn’t it?” 

 Fyester might snort at that, but still, I felt him shiver before he pulled away. 

 “That was just bad, Zae.” 

 “Oh, I know.” 

 As he came into view, I took one of his arms to guide him fully in front of me and backed him into the window-wall. The contact with its glass had him freezing for a split second, and I paused, wondering what was wrong, until I noticed him trying to glance behind him. 

 Was he afraid he’d fall from this height? He should know better. Even if I’d flung him into the windows—for whatever silly reason I might have wanted to do that—the force of his impact wouldn’t have shattered the glass. It was designed to withstand much more strenuous pressure than one man’s weight crashing into it. Plus, no tower in Xygek went without a protective barrier wrapped around the building, something to keep us humans safe in the unlikely event that the windows did break.  

 So, plummeting out of this apartment? Literally impossible. 

 Still, I planted my hands on either side of Fyester’s head, kissing him to get his mind off of it. After a bit, I backed off, and he let out a shaky breath. 

 “Mother Time, you’re such an asshole sometimes,” he said. 

 “Yes?” I said, cocking my head. “I thought you liked that.” 

 “What on earth could make you think-?” 

 He went quiet, but I couldn’t blame him for that, considering how busy I was with yanking his clothes’ sleeves off of him. As I pulled his outfit the rest of the way free, I smirked at his flushed face. 

 “Don’t you dare lay a finger on me, Fy,” I said. “I might have allowed it temporarily, but you still don’t have full permission yet.” 

 We were stuck there for a while. Fyester had his head thrown back while trying to dig his fingernails through barrier-wrapped glass. He gasped when I got to my feet, and raking my fingers through his hair, I pressed my body against his. Soon enough, though, I retreated again. This time, I took him with me. 

 My array helped with my fever-drunk guidance to the bed, projecting proper foot placement on my closed eyelids. I didn’t pay nearly as much attention to that as I normally would, not that I could. The heat rising in me had already blasted through my focus. 

 It was so shattered that I almost ran us into the bedside, but the last-minute stop that I took to avoid that collision sent Fyester careening away from me instead, quickly jerking me after him. My training kicked in, and I used my retained grip on his arm to flip him mid-fall, jabbing my knee between his shoulder blades as we landed. When a pained grunt flew from him, I blinked, easing up a little. 

 Damn. That could have gone much worse. 

 Trying to shrug it off, I said, “Did I say you could touch me?” 

 “But… you kissed me,” Fyester gasped. 

 Right. I had done that. 

 “Who said anything about kissing?” I said. “I asked whether you touched me without permission.” 

 Never mind that he’d needed to do that if he’d wanted to keep his balance while stumbling here. That had never had a bearing on this game of ours. 

 “I’m… sorry, Zae,” Fyester said. “Can I make it up to you?” 

 I clambered off of him so I could fumble with the buttons on my slacks. 

 “Oh, I’m sure you’ll think of something to fix this.” 

 I lost myself in the heady combination of desire and need and a thirst to merge with another that came when I was with a partner like this, but it was especially powerful today with Fyester. I had to lay in his arms for quite a while afterward because my legs refused to cooperate. 

 Fortunately, he didn’t seem to mind. He cuddled up next to me, making snarky jokes to take my mind off my loss of control. Mother Time, he made fun of this apartment’s next occupants in far too many inappropriate ways. 

 Still, by the time our guide returned, I could stand again, and both Fyester and I had cleaned the bedroom to a reasonable degree. 

 “I’m sorry to have kept you waiting,” she said as she entered the apartment. “Thank you for your patience.” 

 “Not a problem,” I said. 

 “What he said,” Fyester murmured, leaning on me. 

 At his relaxed behavior, our guide almost lost her composure. Her lips were just begging to be allowed a smile, but she near instantly got a hold of herself, flattening them instead. 

 Good control on this one. I wondered what her Stratus was. 

 “Well, you’ve certainly been here for long enough,” she said. “Did you have any questions for me?” 

 “I don’t think so,” I said. “I believe I got my point across.” 

 I glanced at Fyester, who was rocking his chin on my shoulder while humming to himself. Good to know that he’d had a nice time too. 

 “In that case, we should leave this apartment so I can reset its security processes,” our guide said. “If you want, you can return to the lobby without me. I’m sure you can find your way there by yourself. You’ve been crawling all over this place since you were a kid, after all.” 

 That last comment had me snapping my eyes to slits. I’d decided that I did not like having a reputation of any sort within House Kolb, as it might impede my plans, and this was the second time our guide had implied that I might have one. 

 “I wasn’t aware that I was so famous here,” I said. 

 Laughing, our guide waved my concern away. 

 “Oh, you’re not,” she said. “It’s my job to learn what I can about potential House members before giving them tours, which is why they sometimes start later than the moment they’re requested. Shukusen Talira was particularly helpful for this one.” 

 Meaning my grandmother knew I was here. That was… hmm. I didn’t know if that was problematic or not. 

 “I see,” I said. “It seems thanks are especially in order for your time.” 

 “It was no problem, young one,” our guide said. “Much luck in your upcoming House naming.” 

 We left her so she could secure the apartment behind us. Back at the lift, I set a floor destination into its control before stopping Fyester from entering it. 

 “Can you meet me at this restaurant in say… half an hour?” I asked. “I have something small to handle while I’m here.” 

 I sent him a message with the place’s coordinates attached. 

 “Sure, Zae. It’s fair play after I made you wait this morning,” Fyester said. “Thanks for doing this.” 

 He vaguely gestured at the building around us. 

 “It was fun.” 

 “Of course,” I said. “Maybe we can do something similar later this evening?” 

 With a dreamy smile, Fyester said, “I’d like that.” 

 I kissed him goodbye, keeping my hand lifted in farewell until he’d fallen through the floor. Then, I headed for a lift that would have access to the shukusen’s office. Hopefully, I’d find my grandmother there. 

 When I was halfway to my destination, though, a voice—one I’d never thought I’d hear again—had me stumbling to a stop in the hallway. Barely breathing, I crept to the wedged-open door of an apartment ahead, cocking my head at the old-fashioned pen that was blocking its door from closing. I hadn’t seen one of those in- 

 “We’ve already discussed this into the ground, getting nowhere in the process,” Garreth said from inside. “It’s needed, Talira. You know it is.” 

 What was he doing here? Shouldn’t he be on a mission, or I didn’t know, wherever it was that high Strata went to spend their time? 

 “I do not,” Talira said. “We have time. We can find-” 

 “No. We can’t.” 

 Had- had Garreth just interrupted his shukusen? 

 Also, why was my grandmother down here instead of in her office? Unless something required her presence elsewhere, she was usually up there on most days. Was this a secret meeting between the higher-ups, and if so, why had they left the door open? They should know better. I knew better so… 

 Had one of them blocked the door on purpose? 

 “Please, Talira. I need you to truly listen to me about this,” Garreth said. “I’m making more mistakes than we can afford. If we’re to have another piece ready before I fail, I need to start preparations now.” 

 “Stop talking like that!” Talira snapped. “You’re not some- some cog in a machine!” 

 Silence filled the room, one with a weight that nearly crushed me into a wall. 

 “Forgive my impertinence, but remember who you once were. You’re letting emotions cloud your thinking, my shukusen,” Garreth said. “Consider our situation using only logic, and tell me I’m wrong.” 

 “I know you’re right, you bastard,” Talira sobbed. “It’s just… why him?” 

 “He shows the greatest potential, more than I ever thought I’d encounter in my life,” Garreth said. “I’m not sure I could find someone better in the little time we have left.” 

 After another few seconds of quiet, he continued, if in a slightly sharper voice. 

 “My decision is made. In this one thing, you can’t countermand it. We should-” 

 “I already said you were right,” Talira said. “I already fucking agreed. Don’t rub it in.” 

 Once more, silence fell, but this time, I was confused enough to ignore its weight. What the hell was going on? I’d never heard someone talk to my grandmother like that before, and I’d certainly never heard her cry. 

 “I wish there was another way, but we both know there isn’t,” Garreth said. “Now, what are your orders for me, my shukusen?” 

 A shuddering sob ended my grandmother’s weeping, and she coughed. 

 “You’re to stay in this apartment until… until the end of the week. Only then may you begin with him. Until then, I have nothing that needs your touch, not now,” she said. “Use the typical channels to request anything you might need.” 

 “Yes, my shukusen.” 

 Shit, my grandmother would soon be coming through the door beside me. I doubted she’d wanted me to hear that conversation, so as quietly as I could, I hightailed it toward a lift. 

 Fortunately, the one closest to me was already set to take me to the lobby, but once I was on the ground floor, I wandered to an out-of-the-way corner, unsure if I could maneuver through Xygek’s crowds with so many questions buzzing in my head. 

 I didn’t know what to make of what I’d overheard. Someone reprimanding my grandmother and telling her about his contradictory plans without her protesting? I’d think that person was the legendary Lokke Vitras if he weren’t Garreth and if I hadn’t known him. 

 I was in no way important enough for House Kolb’s First Stratus to save my life. Plus, Garreth looked nothing like the Lokke Vitras . Sure, we Lutovish could change our appearance at times, but most people didn’t take advantage of it, including deep-cover operatives. Maybe the Lokke Vitras would, though? Considering how well-known he was, he might need a disguise when in deep cover. 

 If Garreth had been… him, though, why would he have let me kidnap him? It made no sense. In what way had his faux kidnapping protected Lutov? That was supposed to be his solitary focus in life, right? 

 But if he wasn’t my grandmother’s First Stratus, who else could have gotten away with talking to her in such a dismissive manner? Another shukusen? 

 A couple of them, namely Alezand of Cerullis, were secretive enough that they didn’t have a public face. I could see them having the balls to, in essence, insult Talira. Who else could do that to a former Lokke Vitras? 

 But could a shukusen have destroyed a mage like Garreth had? 

 Of course, there was always the disastrous possibility that Garreth was simply a House Kolb member who somehow held leverage over my grandmother, although I didn’t see how that could be possible. As a former Lokke Vitras, Talira surely knew how to keep from getting blackmailed, and she’d been a shukusen for long enough that most people would hesitate at even considering such a suicidal undertaking. 

 I didn’t know what to think, but at the moment, I couldn’t ponder it further. Later tonight, I could pick at the conundrum, but for now, I needed to go. If I didn’t hurry, I’d be late for lunch with Fyester, and that, more than anything I’d heard here, was completely unacceptable. 

 TTS Chapter Eleven

Chapter 12: Well, That Was Ominous 1
Islae didn’t want me to leave. She wasn’t being clingy, to my relief. I’d never been sure of how to handle her when she got like that. If I was right, she was just worried that we’d never see one another again. 

 It had been nearly a week since I’d come to Xygek, and now, I was standing with Islae outside of her apartment with the morning light beginning its peek between the towers. Nervously brushing her hands along my body, my partner maintained a non-stop stream of words, ones I was trying to listen to, but she wouldn’t let me get any of my own in edgewise, and I needed to speak. 

 Eventually, I caught one of her wrists, kissing the heel of her palm. 

 “I have to go,” I said against it. “My family’s already going to kill me for staying over.” 

 “I know. I’m sorry,” Islae said. “And thank you for keeping me company. I needed it. You have no idea-” 

 She was about to launch into another nervous ramble. Cupping the back of her neck, I rested my forehead on hers, leaving our clasped hands between us, and she fell silent, nervously glancing at the people who were surely staring at us. 

 “It’s just us,” I said. “They don’t matter. Only us.” 

 Gradually, she relaxed against me, and I breathed a sigh of relief. I hated sending her into a panic attack. 

 Once she’d calmed down, I asked, “Now, what’s wrong?” 

 As her eyes filled with tears, I started brushing them away before they could fall. 

 “This is it,” she said. “After you leave, we’ll never go on another date, never…” 

 “Never cuddle on your bed and watch Favored Alan and the Sanguine?” I asked. 

 Sniffling, Islae nodded, and I squeezed her. 

 “Why would we stop?” I asked. 

 Blinking at me, Islae said, “Because you’ll choose House Kolb tomorrow, and I’m from House Kirst.” 

 Of course. Houses, Houses, always the fucking Houses. 

 “So?” I asked. 

 When Islae wrinkled her nose, I chuckled. 

 “Why should I care about which House you belong to? All I want is to spend time with you,” I said. “Besides, Kirst and Kolb are allies now, right? So, why should we stop seeing each other?” 

 When she continued casting a doubtful look my way, I huffed. 

 “Look. If it’ll make you feel better, you’ll be my first date after my House naming,” I said. “Do you want to schedule it now?” 

 “No. You can send me a message like you always do,” Islae said. “Thank you, Zae.” 

 “Anything to make you happy, teacher,” I said. 

 I couldn’t help saying that. Technically, Islae was a teacher, what with her belonging to House Kirst, but she’d never liked it when I reminded her of that fact. 

 Jerking away from me, Islae swatted my chest. 

 “I. told. you. to stop calling me that,” she shouted. 

 Raising a feeble defense against her, I said, “Ok, ok. I’m sorry. I really do need to go, though.” 

 “Fine.” 

 Moving in again, I said, “May I kiss you today?” 

 Islae cocked her head before nodding. 

 “I think so.” 

 With her consent given, I did as I’d wished since the beginning of our date last night, if more gently than I might like. Islae might not enjoy much physical intimacy, but I hadn’t started dating her for that reason alone. I didn’t mind that sex was intermittent in this relationship. Other people, ones who enjoyed activities like that, could fill that need. I went on dates with Islae because I enjoyed her company. 

 When I pulled away from the kiss, I lifted her off the ground, twirling her, and she shrieked with laughter. 

 Setting her down, I said, “See you soon.” 

 “Mmhmm,” she said. “Good luck with everything over the next couple of days.” 

 “Thanks. I’ll need it.” 

 While Islae entered her apartment, I started sprinting down her street, pleading under my breath for the morning’s first shuttle to be at the closest stop. Islae’s luck paid off. I made it inside the craft thirty seconds before it took off, winding through people to find a handhold. 

 Once I had one, I peered through a window into Xygek’s bustling airways. So many shuttles and transports and skycruisers clogged the space between towers, all at designated levels, that it could overwhelm the mind. I, on the other hand, had always found it soothing, which was something I needed right now. 

 The last few days had been hectic, more so than I was used to. I’d forgotten how many of my partners lived in Xygek. Finding time for all of them had been difficult. 

 I wasn’t complaining! Far from it. 

 I was, however, ready for a day quietly spent with my family, even if it meant returning to a persona that I’d abandoned since reaching the capital. Even if it meant holding my emotions at arm’s length again. 

 When the shuttle reached my stop, I hopped off of it to the surprise of everyone inside. What could I say? I didn’t look like high Strata material, thank Mother Time. 

 As I strolled down a markedly less crowded street than the ones I’d been walking over the last few days, heads turned my way, and I shoved my hands in my pockets, whistling an off-key tune while nodding at the people staring at me. Once I’d reached my parents’ apartment, I stepped inside unchecked, scuffing my feet in its empty foyer. 

 “I’m home,” I called, sending out messages as well. 

 While waiting for people to respond, I headed into the kitchen, having the refectory make me pancakes and eggs once there. I was enjoying my breakfast in a nearby room with my feet propped on a side table when Pheniks found me. 

 “You’re late,” he said. 

 “And you’re annoying,” I said, pointing with my fork. “What of it?” 

 Rolling his eyes, Pheniks plopped into a chair without another word. Feena arrived soon afterward, and rushing to me, she swiped at my raised legs. 

 “What are you doing?” she hissed. “Mom and dad are already irritated.” 

 Keeping my legs in place, I sucked on my syrup-coated fork for a moment. 

 “Are they back to fighting?” I asked. 

 “Yes,” my siblings said as one. 

 That explained their irritable behavior. 

 Sighing, I sat up properly, quickly finishing my food, and after a drone took my plate away, I glanced between Feena and Pheniks, trying to decide which of them would win the award for the most pinched face. 

 We heard them before we saw them. 

 “-always been too soft on him,” dad was saying. “Who knows how that will affect his placement?” 

 Great. They were arguing about me. It looked like today wouldn’t be as peaceful as I’d imagined. 

 My parents entered the sitting room, which stopped their sniping battle for the moment, and at their glares, I lifted two fingers. 

 “Hey,” I said. “Sorry I’m late. I missed my shuttle.” 

 Dad sucked in a breath with his nostril flaring, but mom slapped a hand on his chest before he could shout at me. 

 “It’s… fine, Zaeden. How have your last few days been?’ she asked. “How’re your friends?” 

 Friends. Hah. 

 “Good. They say hello,” I said. “How about you?” 

 “We’ve been busy,” dad snapped, “and worried.” 

 Damn, this knot would be difficult to unsnarl. 

 “I should’ve kept you updated,” I said. “I’m sorry about that, but I’m here now! What needs to get done today?” 

 That wouldn’t be nearly enough, but returning them to reasonably hostile levels would be a long slog, one I’d have to work on throughout the day. 

 “Well first, we have to choose what you’re wearing tomorrow,” mom said. “Then, the neighbors would like to congratulate you, and later tonight, we have a formal dinner to attend, which again, you’ll need to choose an outfit for. It must be properly respectful, Zaeden. After we eat, our host will be holding a ceremony, one to honor those who’ve joined the Collective this year and… 

 “Oh, I’m sure I’m forgetting something, but those are the most important of today’s activities.” 

 Fuuuuuck… Why? Why, why, why? This would be torture. 

 With a cheerful grin in place, I rubbed my hands together. 

 “Let’s get started.” 

 “Good to see you eager about something besides the people you’re sleeping with,” Pheniks said under his breath. 

 Air was sucked out of the room, taking motion from its occupants as well. My brother had come close to breaking one of Lutov’s most frowned upon social gaffs, almost as bad as asking an unHoused what they’d choose at their House naming. 

 No one expressed an opinion on someone’s sexual preferences or their presentation of gender. It just didn’t happen. 

 I, however, was used to Pheniks’ obliviousness when it came to this and all other things social. Feena and our parents matched his tastes, so he never made comments like this to them. I did not, and the rest of my family wasn’t around often enough to have observed my brother’s many blunders. 

 I’d never let them bother me, though, because he wasn’t making these comments out of disgust or hatred. Pheniks had a propensity for saying what was on his mind, especially when it came to something that he considered interesting or unusual. 

 Like me. 

 “Really, Phen, the way you put it, you’d think I’m only interested in sex,” I said, rather mildly. 

 Glancing at me, Pheniks frowned. 

 “That’s not what I-” 

 As he realized what he’d said, my brother winced. 

 “Hell. Sorry, Zae,” he said. 

 See? He never meant it. 

 “No problem,” I said before clapping my hands. “So! What are we starting with? And don’t say choosing an outfit for dinner. I’ve already got that covered.” 

 My family looked a little startled that I’d so easily forgiven Pheniks. Maybe I should tweak that behavioral pattern. I hadn’t thought it worthy of applying a pretense to, but maybe I’d been wrong. 

 “How about we look at your options for your House naming ceremony, then?” dad shakily said. 

 He gestured, and several outfits appeared from thin air, left hovering in place. I instantly knew which of these I wanted to wear, but I wasn’t sure how choosing it would go over, both with my family and with the people who would be gathered at tomorrow’s ceremony. 

 Most of the outfits were colorful and embellished with many a decorative button and clasp. They followed Lutovish standards: a garish display of the rainbow. 

 The last of them was black, no color at all. Strips of white highlighted its seams, the cuffs of its boots, and the stitched Vs in its shirt, but those were the only concessions that other colors had been given. 

 It was a slightly more formal and militaristic version of House-issued clothing, which was what I typically wore, and I loved it. I wondered why it had made the cut for my choices. 

 “Well?” Feena asked with a twinkle in her eye. “Will you try them on?” 

 Ugh. Did I have to? 

 “Sounds fun,” I said. “Are you lot staying while I change? You know I don’t mind an audience.” 

 Rolling his eyes, dad snapped his fingers, and the outfits disappeared. 

 “They’re in your room,” he said. 

 Hearing that, I pouted, pulling out all of the stops, but dad didn’t flinch. Damn. I knew I looked sickeningly adorable right now. Was dad immune to that trick now? 

 “You’re no fun.” 

 Flowing to my feet, I spun, pointing my finger accusingly. 

 “None of you.” 

 I left them behind, heading for my room, and when I entered it, my array cued a host of processes that I’d set to run when I arrived. 

 For several seconds, the lights bloomed to full brightness, banishing shadows from every dark cranny, before dimming to comfortable levels, and music—a collection by Maliva—resumed from the point where it had last been playing. A fresh, spring scent replaced any staleness hanging in the air, and above my side table, a cooler prepared a whiskey sour—my favorite—for me. 

 Ignoring the clothes that were floating like ghosts at the foot of my bed, I retrieved the drink, downing it in a few gulps. I’d need its support today. 

 After a period gone without it, stepping back into my persona was always difficult. Sometimes, it could take up to an hour before it had settled into place. I was fairly good at faking it until then, but with what my parents had planned for today, relying on skin-deep pretenses might not be enough. 

 I’d known that today would require preparation for tomorrow's ceremony, but I hadn’t expected so much of it. All I’d wanted was to relax before making a decision that would determine the rest of my life, binding me to a House. 

 What I wanted, however, had never had a bearing on… well, anything. 

 I endured my private fashion show for my family, carefully watching their faces every time I entered the sitting room. They had a clear favorite out of my clothing choices, but as expected, it wasn’t the one I liked. Before leaving my room for a final time, I ran a finger along its sleeve. It was too bad. I’d have looked stunning in this. 

 Once I returned to the sitting room, dad materialized the outfits in front of us again, and an animated discussion about which of them I should choose might have commenced if someone hadn’t joined us at that moment. 

 From the entrance to the sitting room, Talira asked, “Am I too early for tea?” 

 “Mom! What are you-?” dad yelped before falling quiet. 

 I couldn’t blame him for the outburst. My grandmother was usually too busy to visit us in person. Having her here rang an alarm bell in my head. 

 Meanwhile, my mother strode to her with her arms spread wide. 

 “It’s good to see you,” she said. “How can we help?” 

 Brushing past mom, Talira entered the sitting room, and I faintly smiled. For as long as I’d known her, my grandmother had had a sixth sense for when my parents were arguing, one I’d admired since I was a child, and she always expressed her displeasure with their conflicts in the most amusing of ways. 

 “Like I said, I’m here for tea,” she said. 

 She gave the room a cursory glance, lingering on the floating outfits. 

 “Zaeden’s house naming ceremony is tomorrow, yes?” she continued. “I thought we could share snacks and hot drinks in celebration.” 

 “Wha-?” 

 Shooting to her feet, Feena did not look happy. 

 “You didn’t do that for my House naming,” she said through gritted teeth. 

 Folding her arms behind her back, Talira faced us three ‘young ones’. 

 “If you’ll remember, I was busy with an Ibisian revolt at the time, Feena dear. I’d have visited if I could,” she said. “Zae’s lucky enough to go through this process at a relatively peaceful time. So. Tea?” 

 Mother Time, why were they giving her so much trouble? Didn’t they remember who she was? 

 Standing, I dipped my head to her. 

 “Tea sounds wonderful.” 

 Since I was unsure what capacity she was here in, I’d left off her title or a name, and from the lift of her eyebrow, I’d say she’d noticed this. 

 “Maybe we can take it in the garden?” I suggested. 

 The garden, where I’d have more room to maneuver if needed. 

 “A wonderful suggestion,” Talira said. “Thank you, grandson.” 

 So, she was claiming her visit was of a familial nature. I wasn’t sure if I believed her. 

 As the others bustled out of the room, I watched my grandmother chat with Pheniks. Did she know that I’d overheard one of her private conversations, something that had seemed quite delicate in nature? Was she here to ‘speak’ with me about it, and if so, what would our conversation entail? 

 As we ambled down hallways toward the garden, I managed to secure the position furthest to the rear, but when we arrived, Talira insisted that I sit beside her, negating my work. I listened to my family’s chatter through a haze, automatically laughing when Feena made a joke while we sat. 

 With the way Talira had positioned us, I couldn’t easily escape. Had she done that on purpose? 

 If required, I could get around my parents and sister, but I doubted I could avoid injury to either party while doing it, especially not with former Lokke Vitras Talira behind me. Pheniks probably wouldn’t get in my way, unHoused as he was, but if he did, he was no threat to me. 

 He’d never been a threat. 

 Once I was inside the apartment, fleeing should be easy enough, and after I’d joined foot traffic on the street, I could make plans from there. 

 As soon as I knew that my safety was relatively secure, I returned to the conversation, even as I queued a request for my rifle’s formation in my array. 

 Perhaps thirty seconds had passed. Feena was still glowing from having made us laugh while mom, dad, and Pheniks were relaxed, sipping from steaming teacups or nibbling on finger foods, and Talira… 

 Talira had eyes only for me, watching me as if I’d become the most fascinating person she’d ever seen. Her eyes were cold enough to make me shiver, but rather than doing that, I gave her a small smile. 

 As if in response, Talira snorted, slamming her teacup onto the patio table, before bursting into laughter. Considering she never lost control like this, ever, we stared at her like she’d gone insane, but she just flapped a hand at us. 

 “Don’t mind me,” she gasped. “I just got Feena’s joke. Slow, I know.” 

 Never had I seen so many dubious expressions displayed in a gathering of people before, but my family let their doubt go, returning to stilted conversation. Their tension relaxed at the same rate as my forced plunge into my persona. 

 Within a few minutes, they were joking and chatting with the distinct addition of myself and Talira this time, and I was acting like the Zaeden they’d always known. I even managed to flick an acorn into Feena’s drink at one point, to her annoyance. 

 When our cups held only tepid tea and crumbs were littered across the patio table, my parents started glancing Talira’s way, obviously anxious about a possible upset to their schedule, but she didn’t seem to notice their worry, carefully setting her teacup on ceramic tiles. 

 “I’d like a private word with Zaeden,” she said. “We’ll only be a moment. You can wait for us in the sitting room while we chat.” 

 My grandmother, I decided, had a unique talent for flipping the mood of a get-together. As my parents stood, their smiles were tight. 

 Bowing to Talira, they said, “Of course, shukusen.” 

 Feena had left her seat by the time our parents had risen, but Pheniks was still lounging in his. 

 “I’m tired. Can’t I just take a nap here?” he asked. “I won’t listen to them talking.” 

 “No,” Feena shortly said. 

 Dragging our brother to his feet, she pulled him into the apartment with our parents having already disappeared inside.  

 Which meant I’d soon be facing my grandmother, the head of House Kolb and a former Lokke Vitras, all by myself. Great. 

 TTS Chapter Twelve

Chapter 13: Well, That Was Ominous 2
I’d been left alone with House Kolb’s shukusen, a situation that should and would have had my stomach roiling half an hour ago, but I’d fully disengaged from my emotions again. Finally. 

 Was this where she confronted me about eavesdropping on her? If so, what sort of reprimand should I expect, and if it was to be violent, why had she opened an avenue of escape for me by banishing my family? 

 These questions raced through my head as I bounced on the edge of my seat, affixing what I hoped looked like a dazzling smile onto my face. 

 “You said you have advice,” I said. “What is it?” 

 But Talira simply stared at me over her pressed-together fingertips. As my persona dictated, I shifted in place after a while, and my grandmother flinched while air rushed out of her. Slumping, she propped an elbow on the back of her chair while pressing her hand to her forehead. 

 Hoping to better manipulate the situation, I ratcheted through words to find the best one that would describe her, quickly landing on one. 

 Defeated. Talira looked defeated. 

 “I’ve isolated us from all recorders in a one-kilometer radius,” she said. “We’re completely alone. Do you know why I’ve done this?” 

 Because she wanted to murder me with no witnesses around? 

 Cocking my head, I drawled, “No?” 

 “I’ve done it so that you can be honest with me, Zae-zae,” Talira said. 

 Shit. She hadn’t used that pet name in ages. 

 “Knowing this, can you promise me that you’ll tell the truth from this point forward?” she continued. 

 I nodded, and sighing, Talira rubbed her face— 

 “Ok.” 

 —before leaning on her knees. 

 “How long have you been holding this persona?” she asked, inclining her head toward me. 

 Almost, my emotions broke free of my control. Almost, I leapt to my feet and ran. She knew? 

 No. I couldn’t, wouldn’t believe that. Maybe she was trying to provoke something from me right now. 

 I drew my eyebrows together, carving a confused frown through my cheeks. 

 “What do you mean?” I asked. 

 “Damn, it’s good,” Talira said. “I’d believe it if not for-” 

 Rubbing her face again, she dug her fingers into her eye sockets. 

 “You promised you wouldn’t lie, Zae-zae,” she said. “I know you’ve constructed this persona. After you wrecked his mission in Ostiu, my operative showed me a recording that he’d made while you ‘kidnapped’ him. I know that what you’re presenting me with right now isn’t the real you.” 

 He’d recorded me. Of course he had. I should have expected him to… 

 Wait. Had Talira seen the confession that I’d made to Garreth too? 

 It didn’t matter. If she’d seen what I’d done in House Zan’s Ostium headquarters, then she knew. It was surprising how much tension fled from me at this realization. 

 She didn’t, however, know how much I separated myself from my emotions, so even though I let my persona fall away from me, I didn’t let the wall blocking those pesky things come tumbling down. 

 Once my persona was gone, I shifted to match Talira’s pose. 

 “You’re wrong on one count. The persona is me, so far as I can tell,” I said. “Without it, I still enjoy my pranks. I’m still driven to be the best at everything I try. I still enjoy my studies and testing myself against worthy opponents. I still enjoy stories from before Lutov’s founding, stories about our war with those from beyond the stars. It’s all me. 

 “With it, I merely add more exuberance to what I do, undermine my proficiencies, and display more emotion because I don’t want other people to see who I truly am, who I’ve striven to become. I don’t want to disturb my loved ones with a glimpse of that.” 

 “And who exactly have you worked to become?” Talira asked. 

 I paused. Wasn’t that obvious? 

 “Someone whose loyalty will never be questioned,” I said. 

 No one could know how much I loathed the Houses. 

 “Will you tell my family?” I asked. 

 Talira recoiled from me, wrinkling her nose. 

 “No. It’s your secret to share,” she said, “although I think that you should tell them. They won’t judge you, Zae-zae. Or find you disturbing.” 

 I gave her nothing in reply, and at that, she sighed. She’d been doing a lot of that. Why? 

 “Ok, don’t believe me,” she said. “You didn’t answer my first question. When did you build this persona?” 

 Good. We’d returned to stable territory. I didn’t know why I’d deviated us from it in the first place. 

 “I was six-years-old,” I said, “which is why I say that the persona is me so far as I can tell. Its creation may have killed who I was before.” 

 Talira, however, seemed stuck on what I’d first said. With her forehead crinkled, she mouthed ‘six-years-old’ to herself. 

 Shaking her head, she said, “I suppose it makes sense. Your parents switched up your tutors around then, so both you and Pheniks attended early House rotations until they had that situation sorted. It makes sense that you’d have known about the concept of personas at such an early age. But you probably don’t want to talk about that time period.” 

 I really didn’t. I hated having people poke at the years around when I’d made the most significant decision of my life. If they remembered the instability of the persona I’d been forming back then or any other signals that might have pointed to what I’d been doing, it would be another clue leading to the secret that I must always hide. So, I kept my mouth closed, and soon enough, Talira moved on. 

 “That alone wouldn’t account for what you’re talking about. But! Your logic and intelligence scores have always been far off the charts. Maybe that played a part as well.” 

 “Logic and intelligence scores?” I asked. 

 Why hadn’t I heard about those? 

 When she met my eyes, Talira’s troubled expression melted into a smile. Perhaps she liked seeing something normal from me: curiosity. 

 “During lesson rotations, the Houses evaluate an unHoused’s ability to learn information, retain it, and apply it to their lives. The children can’t know about this test, or the results might get skewed, and those results are assigned a randomly generated number, one for each unHoused child. The only ones who know which number corresponds to which child are the shukusenth, and let me tell you, Zae-Zae. After seeing your results, all of the Houses want you to join them,” she said. “Which brings me to the reason I’m here today.” 

 Finally, we’d get to that. I’d like to know whether I could cancel the request for my rifle, left was hovering in my array. 

 “Please, don’t be offended by what I’ll next ask,” Talira said. “I’m not trying anything underhanded with the question.” 

 “All right,” I said, preparing to defend myself all the while. 

 “Which House will you choose tomorrow?” Talira asked. 

 And I froze, but not for the reason she might think. 

 She didn’t know about the confession that I’d made to Garreth or that I’d overheard her conversation with him earlier this week, but then, I should have known that, given that she hadn’t already exiled me. 

 Also, I didn’t think she’d try to distract me with such a controversial topic before asking about a breach in her security. After seeing me without a persona in place, she had to understand that a tactic like that wouldn’t work. Therefore, she didn’t know that I’d eavesdropped on her. Interesting. 

 Did that mean Garreth had left the apartment's door cracked? Why would he have done that? 

 “Zaeden?” Talira said. “I’m sorry if I’ve offended-” 

 “You haven’t. Not much offends this version of me,” I absently interrupted. “In answer to your question, none. If it were up to me, I’d choose none of the Houses, but since society won’t allow that, I’ll choose Kolb, of course. Your House best suits me, grandmother.” 

 While I’d spoken, Talira’s face had drained of color, and after I’d finished, she painfully grabbed my knee. 

 “Don’t,” she said with wild eyes. “Pick any of the other Houses. I doubt it will stop what happens but maybe… maybe…” 

 She released me, letting me rub where her grip had bitten into my skin, before abruptly standing. 

 “I shouldn’t have done this,” she said. “Let’s just- let’s find the others.” 

 I followed her through my family’s apartment, resisting consideration of the questions that would most certainly soon consume me. 

 My family was waiting in the sitting room that we’d left not an hour ago with the air between them taut as a rubber band, set to snap. My outfit choices were still hanging in front of the couch and its flanking armchairs. 

 As we entered, Talira chirped, “All done. I think my advice was well received, or at least, I hope it was.” 

 When she glanced toward me, I eagerly nodded. 

 “I heard every word of it,” I said. 

 Talira’s face soured—she knew what I’d meant—but it smoothed out quickly enough that I wondered whether I’d truly seen displeasure there or not. 

 “Good,” she said. “I need to return to headquarters now, but it was nice to see you all.” 

 My family gave her halting farewells, and soon after, Talira headed toward the exit, pausing by one of the floating outfits as she did. 

 The one I liked. 

 She pierced me with her gaze, and I didn’t know what she saw, but she pinched the outfit’s black cloth, turning pensive. 

 “This one,” she said. “If he’s going to-” 

 She choked on her words for a moment before continuing. 

 “Wear this one, Zae-zae.” 

 As soon as Talira had swept out of the room, the tension between my family members lessened, but what lay in me did not. I split off a fraction of my focus, and while it dealt with my family’s incessant questions and eventually, our neighbors’ congratulations, I considered what my grandmother had said, rolling it over in my head. 

 She, as the shukusen of Kolb, had encouraged me to join another House. Why? Was danger waiting for me there, besides the obvious? Did she not want me? If so, could I manipulate the resistance she’d raised to my advantage? 

 Most importantly, though, why the hell had she thrown doubt on my decision on the day before I must voice it? 

 I surfaced from these questions for a brief time at the memorial after dinner, but once everyone had paid obeisance to the people who’d joined the Collective of humanity’s souls this year, I dove into them once more, seeking a resolution to Talira’s proposal. 

 I had yet to find one as I crawled into bed, but by that point, I’d decided to shelve my questions. I had to get some sleep, after all. 

 Despite the turmoil she’d thrown me into, I had to thank my grandmother for one thing. I hadn’t paid nearly as much attention to today’s social rigmarole as I normally would have. I was grateful for that, even if what she’d suggested had me tossing and turning for quite a while before I sank into dreams. 

 I woke up to an alert from my array, but on checking the time, I knew my typical alarm hadn’t roused me. It was a little past midnight, when everyone should be dead asleep, and yet, someone was creeping toward my bed. I tried to figure out who it was, accessing my bedroom’s recorders and requesting an identity check on the intruder, but all I saw was a dark shape slinking toward me, and everything I sent to their array simply bounced off of it. 

 Maintaining an even breathing rate, I requested my rifle, finding a small amount of comfort in its formation beneath the sheets, and waited for the intruder to approach. I couldn’t know if they were hostile yet, and I wouldn’t shoot an innocent person. 

 As the intruder came closer, though, I let my rifle dissipate, resisting the urge to click my tongue. When she reached my bedside, my sister shook me, and I rolled over as if just now waking up. 

 “Feena?” I said after a moment. “It’s the middle of the night.” 

 Her teeth gleamed in my bedroom’s low light. 

 “I know,” she said. “Get dressed. We have somewhere to be.” 

 We had what now? 

 Biting my tongue to keep from sighing, I rolled out of bed. This ought to be good. 

 TTS Chapter Thirteen

Chapter 14: Rituals Are Dumb
As I got dressed, I considered how best to ask the question on my mind. In the end, I decided to just say it. 

 “What the fuck, Feena?” I growled. “This couldn’t wait until morning?” 

 Her soft laughter floated in the air between us. 

 “Nope.” 

 The pop on that ‘P’ was like fireworks bursting in my room, an old-fashioned source of entertainment recreated in close confines. 

 “Fine,” I snapped. “I’m dressed. Let’s go.” 

 At the door, Feena twisted to rest her palm on my chest. 

 “Quietly now,” she said. “You mustn’t wake mom and dad.” 

 “I mustn’t?” 

 Feena slipped into the hallway without acknowledging my protest. We slunk through the apartment with not even the whisper of our clothes against our skin coming from us. 

 When thinking about what my sister had said, I realized that she probably didn’t know how often I’d snuck out of our home in the past. Granted, I’d mostly done that at the family estate on Lutov’s northern coast, but I’d gone out on the town, unnoticed, here too. 

 Some of the times I’d stolen away from home had been for homework assignments, and others had been to meet with partners, but most of the time, I’d done it just for practice. Obviously, I’d made a few of those forays so that I could better blend with House Kolb members when the time came, but as I’d told my grandmother earlier, I’d always had a compulsion to be the best in everything I tried, no matter how ridiculous that might seem. 

 I didn’t know if I was the best sneak in Lutov, but I was certainly better at it than Feena. Not that I’d tell her that, especially when she was proficient enough as it was. 

 When we passed Pheniks’ door, I sent my sister a message, asking if we should include him in whatever we were doing. What she sent back was, predictably, mysterious. 

 His time will come, it read. 

 I rolled my eyes. So dramatic. 

 Once we were on the street, Feena led me along, refusing to say a word, but I reflected that silent treatment right back at her. If she wanted to wake me up in the middle of the night, hours before my House naming, she could take all social responsibility during… 

 What was this? A hazing? A family tradition? I wasn’t sure yet. 

 We stopped on a platform close to the apartment, where our tier skirted a tower, and Feena pointed at a nearby tree, at least four times my height, that was standing between us and a sheer, glass wall. 

 “Mag hooks are in a pack, hidden in those branches,” she said. “Let’s see if you can reach the top of this tower more quickly than me.” 

 For a moment, I just blinked at my sister. 

 “What?” I eventually snapped. “Why would I do something…?” 

 Feena grinned at me in a self-satisfied manner, and I threw my hands over my head. 

 “Fine. I could never resist a challenge like this. Well played,” I said. “Still. What you’re asking for…” 

 Running my eyes up the tower’s length, I requested a height estimate, and when I read what my array returned, I winced. 

 “Unless a shit ton of mag hooks are in that tree, reaching the top will take hours,” I said. “I’ll have to calculate the locations of optimal attraction points to conserve the hooks’ power, not to mention finding paths that’ll keep me out of wind drag and- and-” 

 “Yup,” Feena said, “and I’ve done this a few times before.” 

 Meaning she already knew which points and paths would get her up the tower fastest. Hell. I’d never reach the top first unless… 

 Wait a minute. 

 Somehow, I kept a smirk off of my face as I glared at Feena. 

 “Why?” I asked. “What’s the point of this?” 

 “I’ll tell you at the top.” 

 Sticking her tongue out at me, Feena raced for the tower, scooping a previously unseen pack from behind a bush on the way. I watched her go for a few seconds before striding to the tree. 

 Climbing it and finding my provided tools gave me no trouble, which was one reason why I’d taken the time to retrieve them. I’d also never been one to discard something useful, and the idea of leaving evidence like this behind made me cringe. 

 Dropping to the grass, I headed for a wall that reflected Xygek’s brilliance, but rather than using my bag’s mag hooks to pull me up its side, I circled it until I found a door, which… was locked. 

 That was strange. Places like this were usually open to the public at all hours of the day and night. Had Feena expected me to try this? 

 No matter. Its security processes were moderately difficult to bypass, but still, the task didn’t take me too long. Soon enough, the doors slid open, and once I was inside, I made a brief stop at a convenience store before heading for the tower’s lifts. 

 I was halfway through a bag of peanuts by the time Feena reached the top. Throwing a leg over the safety railing, she scanned her surroundings with a faint smile flashing across her face when she saw me. Trotting my way, she slid down the wall that I was sitting against, and when she lifted a hand, palm up, in front of me, I set another bag in it. 

 “Peanuts. Nice choice,” she said. “Good for energy.” 

 I hummed my agreement, and together, we finished our snack. 

 “Did you take a lift?” she asked once we were done. 

 “That depends,” I said. “If I say yes, will you lecture me about breaking the rules?’ 

 Snorting, Feena said, “Hardly. I’d praise you for taking the most logical and efficient route to reach your goal.” 

 “Then, yes. I did,” I said. “Why are we here, Feena?” 

 “I actually don’t know,” she said. 

 When I scowled at her, she chuckled. 

 “I don’t,” she repeated. “It’s a tradition that the family has been passing down for centuries. The last of us to go through a House naming takes the next one to this tower on the night before their ceremony. Personally, I think it’s our way of reminding the unHoused that while House may come before family, your family is important too. When you need us, we’ll be there for you, and nothing can stop us from helping you.” 

 “Except for House,” I muttered. 

 Feena grinned like I’d said something profound, and I was mildly tempted to point out how she’d missed the derisiveness in my words. 

 “Except for House,” she agreed. 

 Jumping to her feet, Feena brushed off her hands before offering one to me. Once she’d hauled me to my feet, I followed her to the roof’s edge, where she pulled two bundles out of her pack, handing me one. 

 “You’ll need this,” she said. 

 As I examined what I was holding, my lips twitched. 

 “Are we flying down?” I asked. 

 “Just put it on,” Feena said. 

 Making a face at her, I placed a thin, metal spiderweb against the back of my hand before activating it, and the frame of a Propulsion Initiation Gear, or P.I.G. for short, unfolded around my body. The device stiffened while a host of new processes flooded into my array, and after it had filtered through this new data, I requested full-body motion from the P.I.G., banishing my body’s unnatural stiffness. 

 Even with that, I felt heavier. The frame used a portion of its power to float a micrometer above my skin, but it was still a ton of metal added to my frame. 

 I also requested that the P.I.G. project its controls into my array, and once that was done, a glowing ball rested under each of my hands. After a quick test, I got myself into a stable hover before dropping to the floor once more. 

 “All a go,” I said. 

 Feena raised a hand, giving me nothing else in acknowledgment, and in a display of excessive rudeness, I swiped my thumb down the back of my neck, making her laugh. 

 “Come on, asshole,” she said while climbing over the safety railing. 

 Perching on it, we stared at Xygek and our small portion of its air traffic, laid out like a grid, and I ignored the panic climbing up my throat. Mother Time, I hated heights. 

 “When you did this, did you take the lift?” I asked, trying to distract myself. 

 I caught her nod from the corner of my eye. 

 “But I depleted half of my mag hooks first,” Feena said. “Dad beat me to the top.” 

 Unsure what to say, I kept my mouth closed, and after a moment, my sister turned to me with a sober expression in place, laying a hand on my back. 

 “I think that if you let yourself, you could be one of the greatest House Kolb members Lutov’s ever seen,” she said, “and even if you don’t choose Kolb tomorrow, you’ll be excellent in whatever you do. You have a light inside of you, Zae. As the Ostiums would say, ‘the spark of your soul outshines everyone around you’, but you’ve always smothered it, doing it so well that I forget it exists most of the time. I wish you wouldn’t. You were born for more than a mediocre existence. Use your light to guide Lutov into the future.” 

 Oh… fuck. My emotions railed against the wall that I’d raised between me and them, and I didn’t realize some had broken through until a tear rolled down my cheek. 

 “Feena,” I said with my voice choked. “I-” 

 I wasn’t sure what warned me. All I knew was that the pressure on my back suddenly increased, and I twisted in the second before my sister finished shoving me. I snatched her rapidly diminishing wrist, and with a jerk, she toppled off of the safety railing, leaving both of us hurtling toward the ground. 

 Feena’s joyous laughter rose above the howling wind while she pulled me to her, and her lips brushed my ear when she spoke. 

 “I love you more than I can say, little brother. Now, follow me.” 

 She pushed us apart, and while I twirled to face the ground, she nosedived, pulling ahead with the propulsors on the soles of her shoes flaring. In the time it took my P.I.G. to respond to my commands, she became an almost unrecognizable splotch, but once I could, I dropped after her at reckless speeds, laughing. 

 I was laughing. At this height. For no reason. With no one to see my performance. 

 This realization didn’t stop it from happening. As I zipped and dodged through air traffic, my body shook with it, and something wild and uncontained churned through me while my array warned me of elevated dopamine levels. 

 I batted the alert aside, darting like an Ostium Operair through zooming vehicles, reacting to my array’s every last-second calculation, riding a high I hadn’t felt in ages. 

 Chasing my sister through the sky. 

 She took us to a large park on ground level, a sprawl of greenery that was impossible to achieve on the tiers above us. When I made my landing, I stumbled, whirling my arms to fight my body’s wobble. 

 Glancing up from removing her P.I.G., Feena said, “Regulate your hormones, Zae.” 

 “I know, I know,” I said. “Just… give me a second.” 

 As I followed Feena’s example, making metal fold toward my hands, I filtered dopamine out of my bloodstream, and the silliness that had lifted my heart while I’d been in the air dissipated. I gave my sister my P.I.G. before dropping into the grass. 

 Except for during extreme situations like a translator insertion procedure, I… disliked regulating my hormones. I understood why it was a vital practice for a House Kolb member. It provided an easy way to control one’s emotions, but usually, I didn’t need that help, and when hormones were regulated or outright removed from the body, it created as many adverse side effects as it did positive ones. 

 Take, for instance, my body’s craving for what I’d stolen from it with a drop into depression looming because of that. Even if shrugging off these side effects was easy for me, I didn’t like that I had to do it. 

 Feena plopped into the grass nearby, touching the tops of our heads together. 

 “Congratulations,” she said. “No matter what happens tomorrow, remember tonight. Remember that your family loves you.” 

 “Remember that my family’s insane?” I asked, folding my hands on my stomach. 

 Chuckling, Feena said, “That too.” 

 She seemed content to lie here in silence, so I let my attention wander across another view of Xygek, this time from below. I soaked in the lights that illuminated each tier’s walkways and the shadowed chunks of towers between them. 

 Picking out sporadic parks, mixed in with glass and metal, I wondered how we’d landed in a part of the city that had few flying vehicles clogging its airspace. Without them, the night sky loomed large with a significant patch of black showing between the towers, and frowning, I had my array focus on what lay beyond Xygek’s many lights, filtering them out. 

 There they were. Sparkling diamonds scattered across the void. Stars that might or might not have habitable planets circling them. 

 “Why do you suppose our ancestors stopped researching space travel all those centuries ago?” I said. 

 “That’s…” 

 Rising to an elbow, Feena looked down on me. 

 “Why are you asking?” 

 Shrugging, I said, “A passing thought. I think about it when listening to narrations about our war with those from beyond the stars. During it, our ancestors must have investigated space while looking for a way to defeat their enemy. Why abandon all of that research after they won? Think about it, Feena. We reach for such great heights in every other field, and yet, we’ve never left this planet.” 

 “If you’ve listened to narrations about Lutov’s oldest foe, then you know why we haven’t,” Feena said. “The last time we tried space travel, those from beyond the stars nearly wiped us out. It’s no wonder our ancestors gave up on studying them. Similarly, they stopped all research about space. We don’t want to piss those alien beings off again, do we?” 

 “I know,” I said with a sigh. “Doesn’t make me stop wondering, though.” 

 Sometimes, I couldn’t help but wish that I could leave this planet, Lutov, and its rigid society. Sometimes, I couldn’t help but want to reach toward the stars. 

 “Maybe keep those thoughts to yourself, silly,” Feena said. “It could get you in trouble.” 

 Flicking my nose, she settled into the grass again. 

 “Try to relax, Zae. Once we’ve rested a bit, we’ll go home.” 

 Home, where I’d have to compensate for the sleep that I’d lost while on this jaunt. 

 Still, I did as Feena had said. Relaxing every muscle, I let my thoughts wander, and before I knew it, I'd fallen asleep in the middle of a public park, the safest place I could possibly be. 

 TTS Chapter Fourteen

Chapter 15: The Dreaded Ceremony
A waking state came to me slowly with a gradual diminishment of vivid dreams leaving me blinking at a cloudy sky, framed by towers. Why could I see the sky-? 

 Last night’s activities popped into my head, and I shot upright, frantically taking in the park around me. Rather pretty with its arranged flower beds and squat sculptures, it was mostly deserted with only a handful of guests present, all of whom were studiously avoiding me. 

 Had Feena left me here? I might have been… 

 What? Robbed, like what might have happened in Ibis? Why would anyone steal from me when the Houses provided for us all? 

 The Houses. Oh, shit. 

 When I called up the time, a message sprang into view. 

 Payback for all the pranks over the years, it read. You’d better hurry. Good luck. 

 Growling, I closed the message, and when I saw the time, my stomach bottomed out. Leaping to my feet, I requested a map of Xygek as well as directions to Acceptance Arena, more commonly known as the Crescent. Both items splashed into my array, and I nearly screamed out loud. 

 Twelve kilometers in half an hour with no shuttle routes between here and there? I’d be late for my own damn House naming! 

 I was going to kill Feena. 

 As I took off in a headlong sprint, I was grateful that no people were blocking my path. No matter how futile it might seem, I had to try reaching my destination before the proceedings started. 

 As soon as I stepped from grass to concrete, though, my easy passage ended. Mornings were busy in Xygek. At this time, people were always in a rush to complete House business or personal chores, and while the sun might have risen hours ago, heavy traffic’s chaos had yet to relent. 

 Which meant every sidewalk would be crowded all to hell. 

 “Fuck it." 

 Darting through a cluster of people, I emerged onto the street, a span of asphalt that one only found on ground level, and was almost squashed by a transport. 

 Jerking away from it at the last second, I ignored the shocked cries rising behind me, swiping at the hands trying to grab my clothes, before hauling ass after the transport that had nearly killed me. I’d never catch up to it, but I needed to gain speed for the next part. 

 A steady drone of displaced air rose from behind me, and I pulled to one side of the road as another transport zoomed into view. Given how quickly it was moving, I was amazed that I managed to grab a hatch’s handle. 

 On doing so, however, fire roared from my shoulder, adding to the transport’s noise in my head, but thankfully, my arm dislocated, preventing it from getting ripped off of my body. By a stroke of luck, I gained a second grip before the first one failed, leaving my arm dangling like dead weight, and wasn’t that just fabulous? Until someone helped with setting it or I found the time to do it myself, this injury wouldn’t heal. I was stuck with these sparks in my vision. 

 Hanging off the transport, I queried for my ride’s route to distract myself. The transport I’d chosen wouldn’t pass as close to my goal as I might like, but if I was lucky, this maneuver would get me to the Crescent on time. 

 On the ten-minute commute to my exit point, I glanced through stored message with many a wince, distancing myself from how badly I wanted to hug my shoulder. My parents had sent me at least a dozen messages asking where I was, to which I belatedly replied that I was on my way. To the hundreds of generic congratulations I’d received, I sent thanks. Pheniks had been silent this morning, which was typical for him, but I sent him a message, asking for his help, and Feena… my sister got two words. 

 Fuck you. 

 My exit point was quickly approaching, and while I prepared my array to assist with my landing, I cursed under my breath. Leaning around the transport’s edge, I marked my desired landing place, and after a second, my array provided me with the best trajectory to avoid permanent harm. 

 It would still hurt like hell when I arrived. 

 As I came closer to the point, I leapt off the transport, curling around my vitals, and on hitting concrete, I let momentum roll me along while people jumped out of my way. When I came to a stop, I gradually straightened. My vision turned white from each pull against angry road rashes, and after a quick glance at an alert that listed the damage I’d sustained, I closed it. These wounds should heal before I reached the Crescent. 

 People had crowded around me, exclaiming as they tried to help, but I shook them off. 

 “I want to join the Collective,” I shouted at the top of my lungs. 

 Just like that, the people who’d been offering me aid returned to their business. If someone wanted to die in Lutov, no one would resist that decision, not here where death was so rare, where it had become sacred. So, I left the site of my touchdown in a hobbling run without a word spoken to me. 

 Soon enough, my peeled skin had been minimally repaired, allowing a return to a full-on sprint, and for a while, that was all I knew. The rush of air through my lungs. The push of energy to my legs. The burn in them and everywhere else. Distantly, I was aware of shouting for people to get out of my way, but it was buried at the back of my mind. 

 When the Crescent came into view, I checked the time, flinging forth a halting giggle on seeing that I had five minutes to spare. Even still, this lucky break didn’t slow me down, and I started undoing my shirt’s buttons, shrugging it off once I was finished. 

 Pheniks was waiting for me beside a door with a bundle in his hands, and when he saw me, he scrunched his face up. Returning to a walk, I blotted sweat off of my face and chest with my wadded-up shirt, shunting as much oxygen as I could to starved muscles. 

 “You’ve got it?” I asked, nodding to the bundle. 

 “Yes,” Pheniks said. “Zae, are you-?” 

 “Can you help me with this?” I interrupted. 

 I showed him my shoulder, where pooled blood had spread from the injured joint, and Pheniks winced. 

 “Sure,” he said. 

 Placing his burden on the stone steps, he went through a process that we’d completed far too many times before. Once my shoulder was back in place, it freed my focus from blocking pain, and I blessed Mother Time that I’d had help with setting the joint this time. 

 “Thanks,” I gasped. 

 “No problem,” Pheniks said. “You’d have done the same- Whoa! What are you doing?” 

 I frowned at him, noting him shielding his face with his hands, before pulling my slacks the rest of the way off. Again, I sponged sweat off of my skin. 

 “Changing clothes?” I said. 

 Why was he so flustered? I had to wear the outfit that we’d chosen for today’s ceremony, and not much time remained before it started. 

 “Here?” Pheniks spluttered. “In public?” 

 Oh. Modesty. 

 Sighing, I snatched the bundle, left on the steps, to my chest. 

 “Would you rather I be late?” I asked. 

 “No!” Pheniks exclaimed. “I’d never! I-” 

 With my clothes mostly on, I pulled my brother to me. 

 “It’s ok,” I said. “You saved my ass. I owe you one.” 

 Pushing me away, Pheniks snapped, “No, you don’t. We’re brothers. This is the least I can do for you.” 

 He critically glanced over me while I finished with buttons and clasps, wiping my cheek and smoothing my hair down. 

 “As usual, you look fantastic, you lucky bastard,” Pheniks said. “Now, get in there, and good luck.” 

 Clapping his shoulder, I smiled before hurrying into Acceptance Arena. 

 As far as layout and styling went, this place was fairly simple, which I’d always thought was strange, considering its importance in Lutovish society. Built in the shape of a crescent, it had two layers: the outer one for lobby activities and the inner for House naming ceremonies as well as other social events. 

 Both ends of this crescent were blocked off for maintenance and service equipment while an underground passage connected the two. All that set the Crescent apart from Xygek’s other buildings was its single story and its composition from stone rather than glass. 

 My footsteps echoed in the outer layer as I raced across its empty width. A single, beefy man was waiting beside the closest doorway, presumably standing guard so no one could disturb the unHoused and their families during this most revered of ceremonies. He arched an eyebrow as I approached. 

 “Name?” 

 “Zaeden,” I said. “Look, I’m going to be late. Can we-?” 

 “You seat assignment,” the man interrupted. 

 A message with an image attached popped into my array, and when he held the door open for me, I licked my lips before bowing to him. 

 Mother Time, the silence that fell as I slunk into the cavernous space beyond! It tried to crush me into atoms, but despite it, I held my head high, rushing across mosaiced marble. 

 People, from the stands and from fold-out chairs in the center, stared at me, whether due to my tardiness or the strangeness of what I was wearing, I couldn’t say, but I made the long journey to my seat like it was another performance with a smile in place and a swagger in my stride. As I folded into my assigned chair, I beamed at the people on either side of me before crossing my legs and placing my clasped hand atop my raised knee. 

 Only as people moved their attention elsewhere did this morning’s proceedings crash in on me. 

 I was about to choose a House, pledging my lifelong loyalty to it. I was about to lose my status as an unHoused because my physical age had determined that I was ready for it. 

 I was about to lose my freedom. 

 Before this thought could deconstruct the wall between me and panic, a detail that I’d missed up to this point crawled into the forefront of my mind, and it halted my churning thoughts. Numb, I sent a message. 

 Was your ‘prank’ this morning meant to distract me? 

 I received a reply within seconds, as if my sister had had it pre-composed. 

 Yes, of course, it read. Mother Time, Zae. I didn’t mean to make you late. You’re usually up at the crack of dawn. 

 Oh. Oh, Feena. 

 Everything worked out in the end, I sent. Thank you for what you did. 

 I loved my siblings, Feena and Pheniks both. The risks they’d take to help me. The lengths I’d go to for them. May we ever remain as such, a trio united against the world not merely by blood but also choice. 

 The ceremony’s proceedings passed quickly. I hardly paid attention to the speeches made at the beginning, giving vague recognition to the unHoused who mounted the dais before me. Rather than this, a question that I’d thought answered years ago, the one my grandmother had reawakened yesterday, rattled in my head. 

 Which House should I choose? 

 Only six people came before my turn on the stage with another nine to follow. House Drav truly was restricting population growth at the moment. 

 All this meant, however, was that someone called my name long before I was ready for it. 

 Gliding to the dais, I quickly climbed its steps, letting the pleasant glow of holding so many people’s attention quell what was rising inside. The Houses’ shukusenth were sitting in ornate chairs along the back of the dais while a person randomly chosen from the Lutovish populace stood in front of them. 

 When I stopped at her side, she gave me a gentle smile. 

 “Zaeden, it’s time for you to choose how you will aid the homeland,” she said. “Approach the representative of the House in which you will best serve and become a citizen of Lutov.” 

 As prescribed, I turned to the row of shukusenth with a dry mouth, but all I could think about was how badly I didn’t want to choose. How badly I didn’t want to relinquish my freedom, such as it were. 

 Mom had been right, all those weeks ago. Standing here with the most important decision of my life in front of me, I knew exactly what I wanted to say. 

 But I couldn’t. 

 The words ‘no House’ hovered on my tongue with everything in me aching to let them loose, but in my mind’s eye, I saw what would happen if I let myself be so selfish. 

 I’d become an outcast, forced to fend for my survival. I’d be condemned to a truncated lifespan with less than a century mine to claim. I’d never see my family again, never secretly enjoy my parents’ passionate reconciliations, never listen with half an ear while Pheniks rambled about his experiments, never know that Feena would catch me when I inevitably screwed up. 

 But I would be free. 

 The shukusenth were staring at me with frowns in place while Talira shifted in her seat, and I realized that I was taking too long. 

 Steeling myself, I prepared to speak my intention before striding to my grandmother. I opened my mouth, and something that was wholly me and yet, utterly foreign seized control of my tongue. 

 “No-” I started. 

 A door slammed open with the noise of it cracking over the gathered crowd. They spun in their seats with twisted features, but after viewing the source of this interruption, that indignation transformed into either fear or awe, but in everyone, profound respect sprang forth. 

 Watching our newest guest stride toward the dais, I understood their reactions. 

 Everyone in Lutov knew those features: the black hair curling to his cheeks in waves; the piercing, brown eyes, leeched of pigment until they looked gray; the sharp cheekbones and lanky form. And of course, there was his signature look with nothing but black allowed to touch his skin. Everyone knew the way he commanded a room’s attention when he wanted it, the way he moved as if every flex of his muscles was beneath his notice. 

 Everyone in Lutov knew House Kolb’s First Stratus. Everyone knew the Lokke Vitras. 

 In the Crescent’s dead silence, he made no noise, drifting like a beautiful ghost through its stone stands and plastic chairs until he stopped in front of the dais. Unable to move or think, I blinked as he lifted his magnetic gaze to me, cocking his head. We stared at one another for an instant or an eternity. I couldn’t tell which it was. 

 And all the while, shrieking alarms blared at the back of my mind. 

 “Come with me,” the Lokke Vitras said. 

 Spinning, he marched out of the Crescents’ inner layer, and it was as if a tether had attached my heart to the small of his back. Leaping off the dais, I loped after him while a part of me wondered what was happening. 

 A far repressed part already understood. 

 TTS Chapter Fifteen

Chapter 16: Can I Not?
Once we were in the outer layer, the Lokke Vitras angled us toward one end of it, moving into an office behind its wall. One that belonged to this place’s manager, I thought. 

 When he stepped inside, he never checked whether I’d followed him, and I was so distracted by what was happening that the door almost banged into my healing shoulder as it shut. After it had clicked behind me, I glanced around, taking in the room’s desk and leather chairs. 

 That inspection only lasted for a heartbeat before I was drawn back to a wraith in black, stopped in front of its windows with his hands clasped behind his back. 

 Unsure what he wanted from me, I stepped away from the door, clearing an avenue of escape for me, and prepared myself, not that I expected a fight to start or that I’d stand a chance against him if one did. He said nothing, a perfect statue for several minutes, while I ignored the messages that were piling into my array. 

 I didn’t like this. Why was he here, at a simple House naming ceremony? The only other times something like this had happened, the Lokke Vitras at the time had been looking for… 

 But no. That was impossible. Please, Mother Time, let me be wrong. 

 “You’re drumming a finger on your thigh,” the Lokke Vitras said. “It’s a terrible, nervous habit for an operative to form.” 

 Startled, I paused to assess what he’d said, and he was right. I was tapping my leg. The offending finger was stilled. 

 “Forgive me, but why am I here?” I forced myself to ask. 

 Please, say he wouldn’t take offense to my point-blank question. 

 “Sacrifice self. House before family. Lutov over all,” he said. “Our people take one piece of this maxim and make it theirs, forgetting the rest, but they can afford to do so. I cannot.” 

 For a moment, I thought he’d say nothing more, but eventually, he turned away from the window, bringing his hands in front of him, while those alluring gray eyes peered at me. 

 “If I hadn’t interrupted your House naming,” he said, “what would you have said?” 

 Was he asking which House I’d have chosen? Would he punish me for my intention to say none? How had he known what I’d meant to say when even I hadn’t? 

 With his lips twitching, the Lokke Vitras said, “You’re not in trouble, Zaeden. I’m asking because I’m… curious.” 

 Could someone like him get curious? 

 Still, I had no choice but to answer. The Lokke Vitras had complete authority when it came to keeping Lutov safe. I didn’t see how one unHoused could threaten that, but I answered anyway. 

 “I’d have said no House…” 

 What was the proper term of address for the Lokke Vitras? He didn’t seem to mind my lack of respect, nodding as if in understanding. 

 “That’s what I thought, which is why I stepped in when I did. You’d have been making a mistake. This is a little earlier than I’d have liked but…” he said before gesturing to the chairs. “You may take a seat if you want.” 

 And relinquish this feeble advantage that I had on him? No, thank you. 

 “I’m more comfortable on my feet,” I said. 

 Again, those lips twitched, and I frowned. Where had I seen that before? 

 Circling a chair, the Lokke Vitras folded into it before spreading his arms. 

 “And now?” he asked. 

 Did he know why I’d rather ignore his suggestion? 

 “I would prefer to stand,” I said. 

 And again, with that twitch. Why was it so familiar? 

 Slowly, the Lokke Vitras plucked blades and other weapons off of his body, making a pile of them at his feet. 

 “What about now?” he asked. 

 He did know why I’d rather stay on my feet. 

 Sighing, I crossed my arms. 

 “I’m sorry, but unless you order it, I won’t give you an advantage on me,” I said. “I’m well aware that you could kill me, even now, but I have to give myself every chance of escaping you regardless.” 

 The twitch of his lips bloomed into a faint smile, and I knew why seeing it had sent a pang of recognition through me. Rather than relief at a mystery solved, however, this knowledge created a layer of front along my insides. 

 “All right, then,” he said. “Zaeden, as House Kolb’s First Stratus, I command you to sit with me.” 

 I could swear I’d become a wooden doll. My joints creaked as I unfolded from my hunched state, took the four steps needed to reach my relegated chair, and lowered myself into it. When I clenched my hands in my lap, my knuckles turned white. 

 “Garreth,” I said. 

 Finally, I prompted a true reaction. The Lokke Vitras leaned on his chair’s arm, lifting an eyebrow. He said nothing, but then, I didn’t need him to. 

 “Is that even your name?” I asked. 

 “I am the Lokke Vitras,” he said. “I have no name.” 

 My fear had escaped from its cage, trying to consume me, and it took everything I had to keep from shouting its existence at him while turning his way. 

 “Why did you let me kidnap you?” I asked. 

 Knowing what I did now, I was under no illusion that the situation in Ostiu had ever been under my control. 

 “I found the situation amusing. No one’s tried something so audacious with me in ages,” the Lokke Vitras said. “Plus, I wanted to test your skills. I saw you in the stacks where we met. You were scanning it for weaknesses, and that was your first reaction to the place, not the wide-eyed wonder that most people exhibit. After that, I had to know how qualified you were.” 

 He’d been testing me. At the thought, something flared in my gut. 

 “And?” I said, barely keeping myself from snapping at him. 

 His smile became a sardonic grin, and at the sight of it, my insides both melted and coiled on themselves. 

 “And you did well,” he said. “Better than expected, actually.” 

 “So, you told my grandmother everything that happened,” I said. 

 Why did I sound like I was a hairsbreadth from strangling him? That was not the way I should address the dangerous as hell man in front of me. 

 “Mother Time, I should have known you’d make a recording of it,” I continued. “I exposed myself to you, unearthing my deepest desire. The one that could get me exiled or worse. That I hold no loyalty-” 

 “I never shared our conversation in the transport with Talira,” the Lokke Vitras said, “which is fortunate because after I showed the other memories to her, she had me eliminate them in my array. I’d have hated to lose them all.” 

 Wait. She’d done what? 

 A person’s array was intertwined with their brain. Was the Lokke Vitras expected to sacrifice something so inherent to who they were for Lutov’s security? How could my grandmother equate my safety with another person’s loss of memory? And why had he said his failure to share everything had been fortunate for him? 

 An image of me, projected about the Lokke Vitras’ lifted palm interrupted my contemplation. Sitting in a transport’s typical harness with clouds swiftly passing behind me, I looked cold with my rifle resting on my knee. I’d never seen myself without a persona attached, and observing it now, I shivered. 

 Then, the recorded version of me spoke. 

 “I see the House system as necessary,” I said in an empty voice. “How else could Lutov function as one civilization instead of endless, squabbling factions? Its necessity doesn’t mean I have to like it, though. It doesn’t mean I can’t wish for more. It doesn’t mean I want to surrender my freedom.” 

 The image winked out while the hand projecting it lowered, and the Lokke Vitras watched me, waiting to see how I’d react. 

 “Do you mean to blackmail me?” I asked, as if inquiring about the weather. 

 He chuckled under his breath. 

 “Hardly. I found what you said… interesting,” he said. “I didn’t tell Talira about it so I could keep a copy for myself.” 

 Why would he want a recording of me? Or better question… 

 “What do you want with me?” I asked. 

 Tilting his head to the side, the Lokke Vitras looked at me like I was an ignorant child. 

 “Don’t you know?” he asked. 

 I… did. It was what I’d been afraid of. 

 Swallowing the lump in my throat, I looked away from him. 

 “Do I get a choice?” I whispered. 

 His silence was answer enough. Despair pounded against its barrier, but I managed to restrain it, which meant that my voices emerged just as dead as before. 

 “Is freedom real?” I asked. “Or is it something that we’ve created to resist our lack of choice?” 

 I didn’t expect a response. Why would the Lokke Vitras have considered this topic, after all? So, when he spoke, it pulled me out of a fall into hopelessness. 

 “Freedom is a lie,” he said. “Even if you could escape from the Houses, Zaeden, you’d be a slave to your family’s needs and expectations, and if you escaped from them, you would enslave yourself with your decisions, made only to satisfy your body’s needs and your subconscious. This, however, isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Living for a purpose, like the safety of the nation, can be quite fulfilling.” 

 He couldn’t know how systematically he’d crushed my hopes and dream. I was left with nothing to strive for, no goal that I might someday achieve, so I latched onto the next best thing: someone else’s purpose for me. 

 Jerking toward the Lokke Vitras, I snapped, “You want me to be your replacement?” 

 For the briefest moment, a flicker of surprise sprang to life in him. 

 “Yes,” he said, keeping his voice carefully controlled. 

 Shooting to my feet, I looked down on him. 

 “Then, let’s get started,” I said. “Train me to be the next Lokke Vitras.” 

 TTS Chapter Sixteen

Addendum
I imagine that you found this part of my story predictable and somewhat annoying, Elliot, but it’s necessary for you to understand what motivates me further along. 

 Looking back on it now, I can say without a doubt that I was a whiny brat. We’ve all, however, been young at one point or another. Don’t worry. I’ll grow out of it. 

 Hearing about Pheniks as anything but a monster probably bothered you as well, but everyone comes from somewhere. My brother wasn’t always a mass murderer. He became that person over decades, in small part because of me, and I’ve never forgiven myself for it. 

 But enough of self-deprecation and regret. We should continue with the story. 

 You’ll find a gap between the last chapter and what follows. After I accepted my new position, several years of training began, and nothing of significance occurred during them except… 

 Well, you’ll see. 

 The next part is about the first upheaval in my life as the Lokke Vitras to come. I’ll warn you, Elliot. You’ll find at least one part of the next few hours horrific. Just remember, my love, that the man you’re hearing about in this story isn’t me. 

 Not yet. 

 TTS Addendum

Chapter 17: What the Hell Am I?
The face of the man shouting at me had been red for a solid five minutes now, and I was beginning to worry about his blood pressure. Should I get him to a hospital? 

 Also, why wasn’t he regulating his hormones? I’d heard House Kolb members were good at that. 

 When he took a breath, I swooped into my opening. 

 “I’m sorry, but unless you have an override from your shukusen, advanced technology of any kind, weapons most especially, isn’t allowed in Ibis,” I said. “Shouldn’t you know that?” 

 The man’s mouth flapped open, which gave me more satisfaction than I cared to admit. 

 “I want to talk to your superior,” he snapped. 

 Of course he did. 

 “You’re welcome to it. I’ve sent you directions to her office,” I said, “but unless I hear otherwise from her, these items will stay in the Travel Center until you’ve finished your visit in Ibis.” 

 I waved a hand over a counter-top, covered in grenades of some sort as well as a host of other weaponry that I couldn’t hope to identify. 

 “Fine,” the man growled through tight lips. 

 Turning on his heel, he marched out of the inspection room, and I clicked my tongue. Members of House Kolb were the worst, arrogant snots who believed they were above the rules. Dealing with them always gave me a headache. 

 Piling the confiscated weapons in my arms, I hurried to deposit them in a lockup. They’d wait there until their owner got his irritating self back to Lutov, where he belonged. 

 Ibis was Vaessa’s realm. The other Houses could keep the homeland. Mine would rule here, where we had bakava aplenty to serve our needs. 

 Once I’d finished with my final task of the night, I headed for my assigned lockbox. After I’d retrieved my things, I’d go home, there to spend a few hours watching a holodrama before bed. A perfect night to round out an awful day. 

 “Clarx!” someone shouted behind me. 

 Glancing over my shoulder, I waited until the woman who’d called for me caught up. 

 “Good evening, Sixth Stratus,” I said. 

 Rolling her eyes, Keaya said, “Mother Time, Clarx. Always so reserved. You need more fun in your life.” 

 Withholding from frowning at her, I resumed my trek with my hands held behind my back. 

 “Perhaps,” I said. “Do you need something, Keaya?” 

 Hopefully, she’d only want to exchange a few pleasantries before we parted ways. I couldn’t deal with her and the drama that inevitably accompanied her tonight, but of course, she refused to leave well enough alone, poking my shoulder instead. 

 “I told you call me Kea,” she said. 

 “Fine. Do you need something, Kea?” 

 Pulling in front of me, Keaya stopped short, forcing me to halt as well. 

 Tapping her lips, she said, “You’re even more uptight than usual, which is a minor miracle. What’s got you so bent out of shape?” 

 For a moment, I considered lying to her, hoping to get her out of my way, but how could telling her the truth hurt me? It would probably save me time in the long run. 

 “My last arrival of the day was a Second Stratus House Kolb member,” I said. 

 “Oh.” 

 Her face went sour while her lips shriveled. 

 “No wonder you’re so grumpy,” she said. “I hate those assholes.” 

 “I couldn’t agree more,” I said. 

 Stepping around her, I forced her to pick up the pace if she wanted to stay by my side, and it appeared that she did, more was the pity. 

 Keaya was wonderful on most days, but like she’d said, I wasn’t in the greatest of moods. I didn’t want to deal with the numerous conundrums that she forced me to confront about my life, not when a simple evening at home was calling my name. 

 “How shall we get you relaxed?” Keaya said, as if to herself. 

 After a moment, she nodded once, taking my hand to drag me after her. 

 “Kea! What are you-?” 

 My protests made a babbling echo in the hall until she turned us into a supply closet, meant for the bakava’s use. When we burst inside, one of them, a male, was inside, frozen in place with cleaning supplies in its hand. 

 “Out,” Keaya barked. 

 The bakava hesitantly edged toward the door, keeping its wide eyes fixed on us. 

 “NOW!” Keaya roared. 

 Her displeasure banished its caution. It tripped over itself to escape us, and once the door had slid closed behind the bakava, its locks thunked into the ceiling and floor. 

 Over Keaya’s head, I eyed the closet’s small confines, more than a little lost as to why she’d hauled me in here. 

 “What are we doing here, Kea?” I asked. 

 Spinning to me, Keaya rested one hand on her hip. 

 “Isn’t it obvious? We’re following a classic trope,” she said. “You’re going to fuck me in a cleaner’s closet.” 

 As she’d said this, she’d poked my chest and hers in quick succession, and with heat rising in my cheeks, I found myself speechless for half a moment. I was going to what now?  

 “We can’t,” I hissed. “We may have been… intimate in the past, but I told you that it had to stop. It’s highly inappropriate.” 

 I couldn’t believe that I had to remind her of this. In fact, I couldn’t quite believe that I’d found myself in this ridiculous situation. 

 “How is it inappropriate?” Keaya shot back. “We’re done with House work for the day, are in a secluded spot, and we don’t work on the same team anymore. No one can claim that we’re favoring one another on the job.” 

 Dammit, I couldn’t listen to her, not again. I needed to get out of here. Keaya appealed to something wild in me, always had. It was something I had to deny. I couldn’t give in to it again, no matter how much I might want to. 

 “And your husband?” I asked. “What would he think of this?” 

 Flushing, Keaya snapped, “He’d ask to watch. He’s not a prude like you.” 

 That one statement was enough to make my mind go blank, and at my side, my fingers twitched. 

 “A prude?” I said in monotone. 

 Throwing her head back, Keaya groaned. 

 “Yes, Clarx. Can we please, just once, skip this song and dance? Forget the rules. We both know what you want. We both know what I want,” she said. “Mother Time! Just fuck me already.” 

 Lowering her head, she snarled at me with sparking eyes, and the wild part in me responded to it. I teetered over an abyss, nearly regaining my balance, but when she snapped her teeth at me, I lost myself. 

 Quite a while later, Keaya laid a finger on my cheek to turn my gaze toward her. 

 “Good,” she panted. “You did good. How do you feel? Less tense?” 

 “Maybe a little,” I said. 

 I kissed her again, softly this time. It was always easier to show her this vulnerable side after she’d done everything she could to help me relax.  

 Unfortunately, a message slipped into my array while I was there, and on reading it, I jerked away from Keaya, leaving her reaching for me. 

 “No… not yet,” she said before releasing an exasperated sigh. “Well? What is it? What’s come along to interrupt us this time?” 

 “That bastard from House Kolb has gotten an override from his shukusen for his weapons,” I said. “I have to return them to him.” 

 “Make him wait,” Keaya said. “Stay with me. One more round. Please.” 

 I kissed the tip of her nose. 

 “Maybe later,” I said. “Why don’t you head to my place? Once I’m done with this annoyance, we can take turns insulting House Kolb.” 

 “You promise?” Keaya asked. 

 “I promise.” 

 Her shoulders rose and fell, but with thin lips, she nodded. 

 “All right.” 

 Collecting ourselves, we stepped out of the supply closet, separating without a word. 

 I returned to the lockup that I’d abandoned not a quarter-hour before, but on reaching it, I found my quested-after items missing. Frowning, I requested a feed of everything the room’s recorder had captured since I’d left, and in it, I watched a lower Stratus member take the weapons, nervously glancing around before leaving. 

 What had she been thinking? One didn’t take something so dangerous from its proper place. Despite hating their arrogance, even I’d admit that House Kolb members were the only people qualified to use equipment like that. 

 I made a request for my array to receive any further sightings of the thief, following in her wake once I had what I needed. I didn’t know what I’d do when I located the woman, but I had to find her. 

 The task took me a while, far longer than I wanted to keep Keaya waiting, but eventually, I tracked my quarry to a warehouse, or Vaessa’s version of one at least. She was meeting with three other people there with all of them clustered around her bounty, and huddled in the shadows outside, I listened to their conversation. 

 “This is excellent, Vray,” a man said. “The children of Ibis should make good use of these.” 

 “I certainly hope so,” Vray grumbled. “Trailing the idiot who left them in lockup was hard. He kept slipping away from me.” 

 “But you got what we needed in the end. Our allies will find these weapons helpful,” another woman said. “We shouldn’t stay gathered like this for long, though. Having everyone in one place isn’t good for the plan, not with so many of us already compromised. So, take a few items, and let’s get out of here.” 

 As she’d been speaking, something deep inside of me had resonated with my situation. I didn’t know what it was or why everything about the situation felt so familiar... until the persona of ‘Clarx’ slipped away, replaced with Zaeden, with me.  

 As soon as the switch was done, I was left shuddering at my behavior over the last four months. Hell, Keaya had been right. I had been a prude. The thought made me gag with my stomach revolting against me. 

 I was myself now, though, and my goal in Ibis was nearly achieved. I had only one thing left to do before I could go home. 

 Taking a deep breath, I strode into the warehouse. 

 TTS Chapter Seventeen

Chapter 18: Ok, I'm a Badass 1
My footfalls spun the conspiracy’s remaining members to me, and I held my hands to either side, spreading my fingers to show that I was unarmed. 

 “Ladies, gentlemen, and others!” I called. “This is highly inappropriate behavior!” 

 Ugh. Clarx was lingering. With a silent growl, I beat that persona back beneath the surface with a stick. 

 “The weapons at your feet should be in lockup, not planned for delivery to children of Ibis,” I said. “Unless you mean to give them lessons as well, those unfortunate people are more likely to hurt themselves with your gifts than to damage whoever you’re aiming them at.” 

 One of the women—their leader, presumably—stood from the group’s crouched huddle to face me. 

 “Who are you?” she snapped. 

 Good question. Not the first thing I’d have asked or done in her position, but to each their own. 

 “He’s that idiot I followed to lockup,” Vray said. “Um… Clarx, Fifth Stratus was what my identity check returned with.” 

 “A Fifth Stratus?” the man in their midst said. “Well, then. This should be simple enough to clear up.” 

 He stood, brushing himself off. 

 “I’m-” 

 “Laytn, Third Stratus of House Vaessa, I know,” I said, “and this idiot has been hunting you for four months. Much longer than it should have taken, yes, but I was working under special circumstances.” 

 Like using a persona that I despised. 

 After a pause, the other two were on their feet, pointing previously hidden weapons my way, and I stopped. That was fine, though. I was close enough. 

 I was surprised it had taken them this long to halt my advance. That had been sloppy, but then, what else should I have expected from House Vaessa members? 

 “You’re from House Kolb?” the last woman asked. 

 Never let it be said that House Vaessa members were stupid, though. They just had no tactical awareness, and to be fair to them, a skill like that wasn’t required for what they did. 

 With a faint grin, I said, “Yes and no.” 

 “What’s that supposed to mean?” Vray snapped. 

 At the same time, Laytn asked, “What’s your Stratus? As part of the high Strata, I have access to many luxuries. Perhaps we can work something out.” 

 Evidence of corruption. Given how many House Kolb members I’d dragged before shukusen Talira for accepting an offer like this, Laytn’s proposal shouldn’t surprise me, but the innocent part of me, yet to be crushed despite everything I’d seen and done, decried it. 

 “I have no Stratus,” I said in answer. “Not yet.” 

 “They sent someone who’s yet to be placed after us?” one of the unarmed women said. “No. Another operative has to be with him. How else could the others have been caught?” 

 Rolling my eyes, I said, “You’ve misunderstood me, but perhaps this will clear it up.” 

 Straightening, I lowered my hands to my sides. 

 “By the power of the Lokke Vitras, imbued in me, I find you guilty of planning to harm Lutov,” I said. “Peacefully surrender, or I cannot guarantee who among you will survive this day.” 

 As I’d been speaking, their faces had slowly leeched of color, and one of the women stumbled, nearly falling. I watched them for a moment, letting everything I’d said sink in, until Vray gave the only appropriate response for someone in her situation. 

 “We’re fucked.” 

 “Not necessarily,” I said. “You’ll probably be stripped of House and Stratus for a while, working for the good of Lutov until Vaessa takes you back, but they will do that. Eventually. The Houses always do. Once they have, you’ll probably stay low Stratus for a few decades, but I have no doubt that you’ll reach your current level again, given time. Yes, your lives will be hell for a while, but you won’t be dead. I highly recommend any choice that results in your survival.” 

 Baring his teeth, Laytn lifted his weapon, and sighing, I slowly adjusted my position so that he was aiming somewhere less deadly. 

 “You’re good enough to take on the four of us at once?” he said. “You said ‘power of the Lokke Vitras, imbued in me.’ Therefore, not him, right? Seems to me we have a chance. Ladies?” 

 With my hands raised once more, I waited for them to make a decision, keeping half of my attention on the man pointing a pistol at me, while the women exchanged glances and probably messages as well. I shouldn’t let them form a plan. By right, their lives had been mine the moment after I’d declared myself, but I’d never liked starting a fight that might end in bodies unless I absolutely had to. 

 When an unnamed woman joined Laytn in aiming a weapon at me, I knew this confrontation wouldn’t go my way— 

 “He’s right,” she said. 

 —but I tried to delay its inevitable conclusion anyway. Mother Time, I didn’t know why I always did this. It would only end in a scolding for me later. 

 But only if he was watching. In case he was, I wiggled my fingers in the direction of a nearby recorder. 

 The other two conspirators took aggressive stances, and I winced. With the way they were standing, their pistols’ kickback would send them careening to the floor. 

 “Really?” I said. “You’d rather try to kill me than relinquish your lives’ luxuries for a while?” 

 That wouldn’t surprise me. Of the people I’d brought in over the years, high Stratus House members had always been the ones most likely to fight me. 

 “We don’t care about that. We’re doing this for the children of Ibis,” Vray snarled. “They don’t deserve what we do to them, but they’ll never have a chance at living normal lives or pushing us out of their land without weapons like these. Lutov won’t let Ibis go. Some of us have to help them if they’re ever to gain their freedom.” 

 The others in the group nodded or murmured their agreement, and I cocked my head. Ibisian sympathizers in House Vaessa? That was new. 

 “I understand what you’re trying to do,” I said, “but freeing Ibis this way will only end in a slaughter-” 

 “How is that any worse than the hundreds of them we kill every day?” Laytn snapped. 

 He’d… made a good point, but handling social problems like this wasn’t my job, unfortunate as that was. Keeping Lutov safe was, and these four had threatened her. So once again, I must set aside my personal thoughts and feelings on the matter. 

 “Sacrifice self. House before family. Lutov over all,” I breathed to myself before raising my voice. “I’d rather not send you to the Collective before your time.” 

 “Well, you’ll have to try anyway,” Laytn said. 

 He set his shoulders, leaving my attempt to peacefully capture these conspirators a heartbeat away from failing. Dammit. 

 My rifle was in my hand without a thought to call for it, and House Kolb speed brought it to bear on Laytn before he could squeeze his pistol’s trigger. His face filled my vision while I lined up a quick and painless kill shot and… 

 I froze. Laytn’s energy bolt took me in the gut which… 

 Ow. 

 But I’d gotten used to injuries like this, at least while I was in the heat of battle. It didn’t slow me down. 

 I grabbed a woman to serve as a shield against her companions, and as expected, they were far less willing to hurt her than they had been with me. 

 “Do you lot even know what those things do?” I called over her sobs, gesturing at the weapons that had started this. 

 The other three wordlessly stared at me, obviously afraid to move lest I blow their friend’s head off of her shoulders. Had they not seen me hesitating with Laytn? If they hadn’t, it was to my advantage but… 

 Shit. He might have seen me locking up again. Fantastic. 

 But I needed to focus on the here and now, not on what might have happened. 

 “I thought not,” I called before smirking. “You might not know what you’ve stolen, but I do.” 

 Slamming my rifle’s stock into my captive’s head, I thrust her away from me. I didn’t know if my blow would drop her, but I didn’t have time for anything else right now. 

 Diving toward the weapons, I snatched a suppression grenade from among them, activated it, and rolled it toward Laytn. It stopped at his feet, drawing a yelp from him before a loud puff of air was released. 

 I didn’t stop to watch how the grenade would affect him, already intimately aware of what it would look like. Instead, I rolled to my feet, which had my gut protesting while an alert flashed in my array, and halfway up, something slammed into my back. 

 Somehow, I stayed on my feet despite that, jerking away from a second blow, but the initial one had been forceful enough to jar something in my spine. That would be fun to deal with once this was over, but for now, I ignored how much my vision flashed if I moved the wrong way, which I did a lot of while dodging energy bolts. 

 As soon as I got a chance, I raised my rifle, aimed, and fired twice, all in a heartbeat, and Vray screamed, falling to one knee while her fried pistol tumbled out of her fingers. I needed to put her out of commission before the blackened hole in her shin healed, but that wouldn’t be for a while yet. I had time to deal with my other… three opponents? 

 How the hell had Laytn stayed awake through a damn suppression grenade? Mother Time, these people really were desperate to see their goal met. 

 When he passed the pile of weapons, poor Laytn got five more doses of suppression gas, courtesy of my rifle’s bolts, but honestly, he should count his luck. My last shot had almost hit an actual grenade. 

 That should take care of him, but I pulled a nearby recorder’s feed into my array so I could keep watch. Just in case. 

 One of the remaining women got a bolt through her hip, and as she fell to the floor, clutching at it, I winced. I knew how painful a wound like that was. 

 The last conspirator, the first of them to show sense, ducked behind cover, but she didn’t lay down suppressing fire as well. She let me wander among her comrades, jabbing them with hypos full of the strongest sedatives Lutov could produce, while catching her breath. 

 “You should stop this and surrender,” I said. “You can’t match me by yourself, and in the long run, it’ll go better for you if you stop resisting me now.” 

 She didn’t reply, and shaking my head, I made my way to the crate that she was hiding behind with my rifle raised and every sense strained. I didn’t think she’d make this difficult for me, but nonetheless, I treated this last target as if she was the most dangerous threat I’d ever faced. With my steps near-silent and breathing rate almost non-existent, she’d have to claim Magsense magic to hear me coming. 

 Somehow, she knew where I was without that. As I approached the corner of the crate, she stuck her pistol into view before squeezing its trigger. 

 From this point-blank range, the shot obliterated my knee, and with a grunt, I toppled. The woman came into view, but instead of finishing me off as she should, she ran. 

 “Mother fucking Time! Dammit!” I shouted. 

 With the nerve endings in my wounded leg already dampened, I pulled emergency stabilizers out of my pocket. Clarx had carried these around out of paranoia, a trait I’d built into the persona. House Vaessa might not have allowed me a real weapon while here, even if I’d acted like one of their members, but after the many years I’d been doing this, there had been no way in hell I was going on a mission without some form of first aid on me. 

 The stabilizer’s gel hardened, and I struggled to reach my feet, taking off in a lurching sprint once there. Because my makeshift cast was unable to fully take my weight, my leg wanted to buckle every fifth step, but as long as I could keep going, I didn’t care how well it worked. For now. 

 I caught up to my target a hallway over. Other House Vaessa members scattered out of our path, especially when I fired a warning shot over the conspirator’s head. 

 Slowing to a stop, she spun, pointing her pistol at my chest. I kept the bolt that she fired from destroying my heart, but I wasn’t fast enough to miss the shot entirely. It clipped my lung, which was just… wonderful, but the adrenaline rush that the injury imparted certainly helped with my aim. My next shot left burn marks on the woman’s face, and she froze. 

 “Drop it,” I said, barely keeping myself from wheezing. “What’s the plan, huh? Escape the Travel Center and hide among the children of Ibis? Do you want to live like them?” 

 “I want them to be free,” she cried. 

 Nodding, I said, “I know, but how can you help them if someone from House Kolb is constantly on your tail? They won’t stop chasing you. You know this, and no matter what personal beliefs they might hold about Ibis, they will kill you or bring you in eventually. Just… come with me now, and I’ll put in a good word with shukusen Raelle for you.” 

 When doubt flickered to life in her, her aim wavered, and I shot the spigot above her head, setting alarms blazing and water dousing everyone in the hall. The conspirator slapped her hands over her ears to block that deafening noise, and with a burst of House Kolb speed, I was pumping her full of sedatives before she could gasp. 

 Catching her as she sagged, I slowly got her over my shoulders before limping back to the ‘warehouse’. Once I had my targets laid out in front of me, I stared at their sprawled forms with my hands on my hips, swaying in place. 

 TTS Chapter Eighteen

Chapter 19: Ok, I'm a Badass 2
Well. This had been a travesty. 

 For the love of all that might be holy, say I was wrong. Say he hadn’t been watching. If he hadn’t been, I might have time to retrieve the feeds from any nearby recorders and doctor them a bit- 

 A direct connection established in my array, and I started cursing in my head. I didn’t get an image because of course I didn’t, but I had no doubt that I was still under watch. 

 “Kuvesk. We need to talk,” he said. “Come home, and burn your cover while you leave. It doesn’t suit you.” 

 I tried so hard to be an obedient student and retain my protest, but I couldn’t help myself. 

 “Shouldn’t I hold onto every tool I have, even if it’s a little broken?” I asked. 

 Silence stretched over the connection, and the longer it continued, the more I winced. Oo. He wasn’t happy. 

 “Are you questioning me?” he eventually asked. 

 I shook my head so roughly that I was momentarily afraid it would fly off my neck, wincing at the twinges it produced. 

 “No, evushk,” I said. “I wouldn’t dare.” 

 Oh, that had been dumb. Closing one eye, I bit the inside of my lip, silently praying. 

 Let the snark go. Let the snark go. 

 “Just do as you’re told,” he said. “Come home.” 

 The connection cut, and I slumped a little, even knowing that he was probably watching. 

 I didn’t know why I’d provoked him as much as I had. It wasn’t smart, would probably get me severely hurt someday, but no matter how much I tried to stifle it, sarcasm still came out sometimes. 

 The four unconscious House Vaessa members in front of me could stay where they were. Someone would be along shortly to collect them, but their stolen weapons were another matter entirely. I couldn’t leave them here, where they might fall into untrained hands, so I oh-so-slowly gathered them as best I could and limped away from the recent site of conflict. 

 As I made my way to a lockup, I started the process of assuming my natural features once more. I hadn’t changed much for this mission: added a rash of freckles across my nose, leeched a bit of color from my eyes, and softened my cheekbones. But reversing these alterations would take hours without an accelerant to speed up the process, although small shifts should be noticeable soon. 

 All the while, I continued monitoring my injuries, making sure any nerve endings connected to them remained dampened. I hadn’t fully read through the list of the damage I’d accrued, the one that my array kept insistently pushing into view, but at the least, I made sure I couldn’t feel them and that they didn’t get any worse than they already were. 

 When I reached the lockup, the Second Stratus from earlier was waiting for me with his arms crossed and his foot tapping, and seeing this, I grimaced. As I came through the door, I exaggerated my limp, allowing the wheeze in my lungs to come through as I spread his things across the counter. 

 “Please, forgive the delay,” I said. “We… the Travel Center hasn’t had a high Stratus come through in a while. I jumped on the opportunity to finish my mission.” 

 Leaning on the counter, I gently prodded a wound while the Second Stratus narrowed his eyes. 

 “You’re Kolb too. Deep cover?” he asked. 

 I nodded, although technically the first wasn’t true yet. 

 Critically running his eyes over me, the Second Stratus asked, “Are you ok?” 

 I flapped a hand at him. 

 “I’m fine. Gut shot, knee shattered all to hell, a hole in one lung, and a possibly slipped disk in my spine. I haven’t checked the alert on that one yet,” I said. “All in a day’s work, right?” 

 I knew it wasn’t. I knew I’d taken an excessive amount of damage, only kept upright by my body’s quickened ability to heal itself, but I just loved making someone’s eyes pop like that. 

 “No, it’s not. Mother Time, we need to get you to a hospital,” the Second Stratus said. “What happened? What was your mission, and hell, what’s your Stratus? If you’ve advanced too early…” 

 Chuckling, I pushed off the counter, dropping all signs of my pain. 

 “I haven’t,” I said. “Tell me. Have my features started blurring yet?’ 

 As he crinkled his brow, the Second Stratus said, “No. Why-?” 

 “Good. I can answer your questions, then,” I said. “A few months ago, Vaessa requested help, asking us to find the people stealing weapons from their lockups. The stolen items kept finding their way into the hands of local children of Ibis, which wasn’t good for the safety of Lutovish visitors. Over the last few months, I’ve rooted out the conspiracy, tagging the last four today.” 

 “Did they jump you?” the Second Stratus said. “Is that why the…?” 

 He waved a hand over my body, trying to play it cool even though my change in demeanor had clearly unsettled him. 

 “No, I confronted them, hoping they’d surrender. I didn’t want anyone hurt, at least not permanently, and while I failed to talk them down, everyone who took part in the confrontation is still breathing, even if we’re a little battered.” 

 The Second Stratus raised an eyebrow. 

 “Four of them. By yourself. And none of them are dead,” he said. “Are you sure about that? Even a high Stratus like myself would find something like that difficult.” 

 “Right! Your last question! You wanted to know my Stratus,” I said. “I don’t have one and seriously doubt I will for a while yet. I can’t gain my Stratus until my evushk leaves his position open, and he’s far too stubborn to relinquish it for some time yet. Mother Time help us all if he dies before I’m ready.” 

 The poor man looked mighty confused and maybe a tad fearful now. Good instincts on this one and enough sense to partially overcome the impossibility of who I was. I could see why he was Second Stratus. 

 “Who’s this evushk?” he asked. “Maybe I can help you. Your teacher’s clearly putting you in situations that you shouldn’t be anywhere near yet.” 

 “But that will be my job. To travel to the places no one will go and undertake the tasks that no one should have to accept. After all, am I not to sacrifice self? Am I not to put House before myself and those I love? Am I not to hold Lutov in the center of my heart?” I said. “As for my evushk, he is… evushk, and while I appreciate your offered help, you couldn’t give it to me, even if I wanted it. Evushk is higher Stratus than you. You couldn’t touch him.” 

 I shrugged while the Second Stratus blanched. 

 “Lokke Vitras to come,” he said. “Mother Time, the things I said to you. Please, accept my apology.” 

 Bowing to me, he moved to cup his neck, and I leaned over the counter, snatching his wrist before he could get his hand in place. 

 And all the while, my gut wound screamed at me. 

 “Don’t do that,” I snapped. “Never give your Favor to someone like me or evushk. You don’t know what terrible things we might demand from you.” 

 While the Second Stratus stammered, I whipped my eyes over this lockup, re-checking the recorder placement in it before requesting their feeds. I needed to erase what I could of them as thoroughly as possible, removing evidence of the honor that this man had meant to convey. 

 It was a tribute that would instead become a vulnerability for us both. That he’d almost gave me his Favor and I’d refused it… it wasn’t good, wasn’t done in Lutov, so I needed any recordings of it removed. The evidence of it would never be gone, but I could diminish its traces to the point that my enemies wouldn’t look for it. 

 When I received my requested feeds, however, they were blank. They’d captured nothing since I’d walked into this lockup.  

 His work. I didn’t know whether to be grateful that he’d been looking out for me or annoyed that he’d have more fodder for the lecture I was sure to soon receive. 

 After focusing on the surface world once more, I found the Second Stratus glancing between my hold on him and a point below my chest. Releasing him, I hopped to the ground, and the world went fuzzy for a moment, making me grab for the counter. 

 Somehow, I didn’t black out, pulling my fingers, one by one, off of sticky, wet metal. My blood was coating it, and hastily, I wiped the mess clean with a sleeve. 

 Glancing down, I winced at the spread of red across my shirt. That would make reaching departures frustrating, and the annoyance of it would only get worse the longer I delayed here. 

 “Second Stratus, please tell me that my features have started blurring,” I said. 

 Damn, he looked troubled. 

 “They… have,” he said. “Do you need me to get help?” 

 Shaking my head, I said, “I’m fine. I need you to go about your House business and pretend you never met me here.” 

 “Of course,” the Second Stratus said. “Are you sure you don’t want anything else from me?” 

 “I am,” I said. “Get out of here, please.” 

 Gathering his weapons, the Second Stratus left, casting a final, concerned look my way. 

 While I waited for him to create sufficient distance between us, I reviewed the alerts that I’d ignored to this point. I knew most of their contents already, but two of them confirmed suspicions I hadn’t yet verified. 

 Namely, yes. A herniated disk in my spine was pinching its nerve, which explained the horrendous twinges that ran through me whenever I stepped the wrong way, and yes, I’d need additional medical treatment when I got home. 

 The pressure I’d applied to my gut wound had ruptured a grazing burn on my intestines, which had leaked acid and other…  things into my abdomen, and soon enough, this would cause sepsis. The damage to my intestines alone, my body could fix, but repairing the wound while also fighting itself? Not so much. 

 Damn, he wouldn’t be happy with me. He never liked it when I returned so badly damaged. 

 Dragging myself through the Travel Center was hell, but I made myself walk confidently, turning off pain receptors as needed. As I passed through arrivals, the woman who’d replaced me earlier today raised a hand. 

 “Hey! Did you forget something?” she asked. “You were lucky. We had a rush of visitors come through after your shift…” 

 Trailing off, Soaph frowned at me, keeping her eyes on my abdomen. The rusty stain found there would probably have people trying to stop me soon, and wouldn’t that be fun to handle? 

 Soaph hurried toward me with her hands outstretched. 

 “Clarx! What happened?” she asked. “Are you-?” 

 “I’m not Clarx,” I said, never stopping. 

 She spun to follow me. 

 “What are you talking about?” she asked. “Pax, we need help over here.” 

 The man lounging behind the checkpoint for departures never moved his eyes off of his monitor. 

 “What sort of help?” he asked. 

 “The medical emergency type,” Soaph snapped. “Get off your ass and help me!” 

 She was pulling on my arm, trying to get me to a chair, but I shook her off easily enough. At the frustrated shriek that this caused, Pax glanced up and shot to his feet, raising a cautionary hand. 

 “Clarx. Buddy. Stop moving before you hurt yourself more,” he said. “Let’s get you somewhere more comfortable until emergency services arrive.” 

 When I showed no sign of following his advice, he moved into my path. 

 “Please, Clarx-” 

 Clicking my tongue, I said, “Like I told Soaph, I am not your Clarx, never was.” 

 A burst of House Kolb speed got me around Pax before he could grab me. 

 “And I don’t require your aid,” I called. 

 Moving into departures, I headed for the closest beacon, smiling at its receptionist when I breezed inside. She scrambled to her feet while a cry rose behind her. 

 “Stop him! Something’s wrong-” 

 “Nothing’s wrong,” I interrupted. “I’m just burning Clarx of House Vaessa and good riddance to him. Maintaining that persona was a trial. No, I have finished my mission here. It’s time for me to go home.” 

 Even without looking, I could feel anger rising behind me as realization took hold. Much as I might have disliked the Clarx persona, he’d made friends with good people here, people who would struggle with everything that came after an operative’s betrayal. 

 Mother Time, Keaya, who would meet hostility from her comrades for never figuring out her romantic fling’s true nature. 

 There was a reason Kolb was the most hated House. 

 “You can’t make an unauthorized jump to Lutov,” someone growled behind me. 

 “Sure I can,” I said. 

 Spinning in place, I observed people radiating disgust and hatred, imprinting the image in my mind, and laid a hand on the ring around the beacon. 

 And nothing happened. Because after a quick check, I learned that my Lokke Vitras privileges had been revoked. 

 Flinging my head back, I groaned, “For fuck’s sake, evushk.” 

 He would make the final phase of a mission more difficult, perfectly aware that process cracking was my weak spot. Fortunately, I’d improved enough with it to bypass the security that protected the beacon, activating it before the House Vaessa members circling me could come closer. 

 Receiving the permission that it needed, the beacon did its work, and for a moment, I was ripped into a million-million parts, but after that initial discomfort, I was standing in the Terminal. 

 TTS Chapter Nineteen

Chapter 20: The Terminal
In the Terminal, people popped into being around me with the same rattled look on their faces, but then again, most found molecular dispersion unpleasant. Who liked having every atom of their being pulled apart? 

 I’d done it often enough that my need to shudder after arriving here had faded, but Mother Time, if I still didn’t hate it. 

 At least here, though, I didn’t have to contend with a damaged body. The Terminal was where a person’s consciousness rested while waiting for travel to their next beacon. Hence, nothing physical, like a pesky punctured lung, here. 

 There was also no differentiation, meaning everyone used the same avatar. The Terminal barely had enough processing power to hold so many people’s sparks of souls, reduced to numbers, as well as countless rendered images of this place. It would need much more before its inhabitants could tweak their bodies in whatever way they wanted as well, but we weren’t there, tech-wise. Maybe someday, but for now, people dealt with the bland body they’d received in this, the most complex piece of Lutovish tech in existence. 

 The Terminal itself was quite magnificent. Upon arriving, one stood somewhere similar to a grand Hall of Judgment’s foyer. Black and white tiles formed a geometric pattern on the floor, stretching to a stone wall several hundred meters distant. 

 High overhead, panels with painted images of a cloudy sky decorated the ceiling. Pillars stood a few meters in front of the far side, and between them, small booths rested with their walls made of half brushed-steel and half glass. 

 Amusingly quaint automatons were sitting inside of them today. The comptrollers’ image frequently changed, but most of the time, they looked like human beings of one sort or another. On especially busy days, people lined up in front of the booths, courteously trying to save other people time, but for now, the comptrollers sat alone until someone strolled up to them. 

 On the Terminal’s near side, one could find all sorts of entertainment: holodrama theaters; scenario rooms; even overnights, if one was interested in having a rendezvous in a fabricated world, and both sides of this place reached for as far as the eye could see. 

 Stretching, I checked my place in the queue: 2,462. I’d be here for a while. 

 Now, if I were so inclined, I could claim medical distress and get pushed to the front of the line, but not only was I unconcerned about possible degradation to my atoms as they zipped across the world but… 

 I was a snarky son of a bitch. 

 He’d told me to come home. He had not, however, said how quickly I should do that, and I was reluctant to learn what he’d have in store for me when I arrived. Plus, if I waited my turn, it would needle him, and despite how much trouble it would get me in or how dangerous it might be, I loved doing that. 

 So, I headed for my favorite place in the Terminal. 

 When I stepped into the closest library, I scrolled through a list of books, found on the monitor just inside the entrance, until I’d picked one that sounded interesting. Noting its location, I ambled through shelves filled with stories and facts, and after retrieving my desired tale, I headed for an armchair, curling into it with the book resting on my knees. 

 And it was just that. A book. Hundreds of pages contained by its cover with the most delightful smell drifting from it when I rubbed a thumb over its paper edges. 

 I knew it wasn’t real. Somewhere in the physical world, a storecase was feeding this information to my consciousness, but it felt real, and I adored it. Paper and ink books were so rare in Lutov. 

 With a contented sigh, I opened it to the first page. 

 I’d almost reached the end of the book when a pleasant, gender-neutral voice sounded in my ear. 

 “Zaeden, House undetermined. Please, follow the provided guide to comptroller one thousand, three hundred and twenty-six.” 

 A softly glowing ball descended into my field of view, and I set the book aside with a grimace. I’d like to finish it, but if I did, it would keep the next person in line waiting, which would be rude. 

 The ball of light led me to a booth, vanishing as I approached it. Inside, a comptroller folded its metal-bladed fingers together on the desk. 

 “Good evening, Zaeden. How may I assist you?” it asked, cocking its head in a jerky fashion. 

 How enthralling. 

 “I need to get to the Southern Fells Travel Center, if you please,” I said. “Are any beacons open there?” 

 The comptroller ratcheted its head to its other shoulder. 

 “Indeed. I shall get you there straightaway,” it said. “For your consideration. If you use the beacon that you’ve requested, you will experience a time change of almost twelve hours. It will be early morning there, which may be distressing for you. Are you sure this is your desire?” 

 Smiling, I said, “Yes please, but thank you for your concern.” 

 “Naturally. In that case, we shall begin,” the comptroller said, “Before you go, may I ask if you have any suggestions to improve-?” 

 The automaton blipped out of its booth for a breath, and when it returned, it was sitting ramrod straight with its geared hands lying flat on its desk. 

 “Zaeden, you appear to be seriously injured,” it said. “Shall I bring emergency services to your location before you apparate?” 

 What… a… good question. How badly did I want to irritate him? 

 “If you did that, how long would it take in the real world?” I asked. “Oh, and how much time has passed since I arrived here?” 

 The comptroller shuttered the metal spheres that composed its eyes, slightly tilting its head. 

 “Outside of the Terminal, emergency services would take approximately five minutes to arrive where you will apparate, although it would seem like mere seconds to you,” it said. “Three hours, seventeen minutes, and eight seconds have passed since you first graced this place with your presence.” 

 So, he’d been waiting for a while, which meant he’d be annoyed either way. Might as well- 

 “Do it,” I said. 

 Let him handle emergency services when they showed up. Their inevitable shows of deference were sure to piss him off even more, and I had to admit. I was a bit curious whether the irritations I’d provided for him today would crack that ever-present, neutral expression of his. 

 “Done,” the comptroller said. “Your beacon is now prepared. We hope that you’ve had a pleasant stay in the Terminal.” 

 “Oh, I have,” I said. 

 The image of the comptroller sucked to a distant point, quickly replaced with a different view. Fighting through the disorientation that always  came with having my consciousness shoved into its body once more, I noted black hair and gray eyes resting above brightly colored lips. I saw the pinch in them as well as faint movement in a typically statuesque body, and I made a face. 

 Because the Lokke Vitras was standing in front of me with his eyes drilling into my skull, and he was not pleased. 

 TTS Chapter Twenty

Chapter 21: Or Not 1
The Southern Fells Travel Center was smaller than the one in Ibis, and although its layout was similar—if stacked rather than aligned—the aesthetic here was much different. 

 The facility in Ibis had mostly concrete walls and slabbed tiles for its floor. It had clearly been built with function in mind. Nothing about it was pleasing to the eye, save for in the zones reserved for visitors. 

 Conversely, everything about the Southern Fells Travel Center focused on beauty and flow. Except for support columns, nothing divided each floor. Instead, it was an open space dotted by potted plants and sleek seating. Glass windows formed the place’s exterior wall, and beyond it, Lake Phiabe stretched on three sides while misty marshland took up the fourth. 

 Although Lake Phiabe nearly rivaled Lake Voxmore in size, it matched Lutov’s smaller Lake Sonis in appearance. Reeds and leafy pads blurred the line between its shore and shallows, and herons as well as other lake creatures glided, hopped, and darted through the grass and water. Fog hung heavy over the lake’s surface, constantly teasing of something wonderful hidden just out of view. 

 The scene looked like something pulled out of a fairy tale, calling forth wonder and peace in most of the people who visited it, and it surrounded the Travel Center, the faintest breath of civilization imposed on a place of wild magic. 

 After the many times I’d passed through here, I’d grown quite fond of the place. 

 It was also one of the least frequented Travel Centers, as not many Lutovish made their homes in the Southern Fells. This relatively abandoned state was to my benefit at the moment. It meant that maybe a dozen people were staring at the Lokke Vitras and consequently, me, and from the way he was looking at me, I could expect a spot of embarrassment. 

 So, hooray for small audiences. 

 “Kuvesk,” he said in an empty voice. 

 Shit, that was his lengthy lecture tone. This would take longer than I’d thought, which was too bad because a host of new alerts had popped into my array since apparating. My atoms had degraded more quickly during their transit to Lutov than I’d thought they would, and because of that, I didn’t know how much longer I could stay on my feet, no matter how many pain receptors I deadened. Despite this, I bowed to the Lokke Vitras, nearly puking my guts up on his combat boots as a result. 

 “Evushk,” I said. 

 Pride flashed in me for keeping my strain to myself. I hadn’t let it show! For now. 

 “Make yourself comfortable,” the Lokke Vitras said. “I have a long list for you this time.” 

 By which he meant: Stop stressing your wounds, moron. And. Oh… you fucked up this time. 

 I was paraphrasing, of course. I’d never known this man to be casual or crass. He was usually so wrapped in formality and a lack of emotions that I sometimes wondered whether shukusen Talira had replaced his heart with gears in the past. 

 Still, I rose from my bow, although this effort was harder on me than the first had been. Every second felt like the moment after a gut punch, an aching queasiness that could, at times, steal one’s breath, and when I moved, it blossomed into horribly dull pain, reaching a hand up my throat. 

 A few years ago, I’d have been on the ground, curling around my wounds, while desperately clinging to the focus needed to maintain consciousness. Now, I merely blinked at the Lokke Vitras as if nothing was wrong with me, although I couldn’t stop sweat from rolling over my skin. I didn’t have enough in me to control that function of the body as well as my stifled nerve endings while also giving the Lokke Vitras the attention that he demanded. 

 “Are you listening properly, kuvesk?” he asked. 

 “Always, evushk,” I said. “Teach me.” 

 With our protocol established, the Lokke Vitras raised a fist, lifting a finger from it. 

 “Regarding the length of time it took for you to complete your mission,” he said. “I noted no less than sixty-two opportunities that you could have used to more quickly finish it, beginning one month and two days into your stay with House Vaessa. A list of these has been sent to your array. I expect that after studying them, you’ll never overlook these openings again. Our time is too valuable for you to waste four months on a mission as simple as the one I gave you.” 

 Mother Time, he’d started there? I’d thought my timing had been rather good on this mission, but if he’d found fault with something that small, we might be here for a while. 

 He looked at me expectantly, and I internally sighed. 

 “I hear your words, evushk,” I said. 

 Nodding, the Lokke Vitras lifted another finger. 

 “Regarding your persona,” he said. “Once again, you let it control you rather than the other way around, except when sex was involved. When in deep cover, you must become another person, but you cannot lose yourself to it. In your next slew of lessons, we will practice the art of persona switches again. You obviously need the review.” 

 A laugh burst from the people watching us, and almost, I went after its originator, just to show our audience what I was capable of, but this public humiliation was done for many reasons. It got me accustomed to the shame that every Lokke Vitras eventually underwent. It also, in a roundabout way, provided a report on my progress to anyone who was paying attention. 

 And I had progressed. The failings mentioned thus far were nothing compared to the dressing-downs that I’d gotten during my first years as the Lokke Vitras to come. 

 So, instead of unleashing destruction on our impromptu audience, I gave no reaction. To them, at least. 

 “I hear your words, evushk,” I said. 

 Something that might have been approval flickered in the Lokke Vitras’ eyes as he lifted a third finger. 

 “Regarding your fight today,” he said. “If you had eliminated your targets right away, as was your right, you wouldn’t have sustained the injuries that you have—” 

 As he quickly circled me, the Lokke Vitras jabbed my chest, gut, knee, and back, and for a breath, black lapped at my vision. 

 “—and Lutov wouldn’t have four, dangerous people to monitor. In addition.” 

 He stopped as if that had been the totality of what he’d wanted to say, but I knew that look, even barely present as it was. He was weighing his options. 

 “Frankly, kuvesk, this is getting ridiculous,” he said, switching to the Ibisian tongue. 

 Did he not want people to understand what he was saying? Few Lutovish had bothered to learn another tongue or gotten a translator inserted. 

 “What do you hope to accomplish with your passivity?” the Lokke Vitras continued. “If you’re to replace me someday, you will eventually take a life. It’s part of the job. Whatever is keeping you from crossing this hurdle, you need to overcome it and soon. Do you hear me?” 

 He closed his mouth, nodding to let me know I could speak. 

 “I… hear your words, evushk,” I said. 

 But I didn’t know how to solve this conundrum. I’d never killed someone, not once in the many years of my training, and ever, it had been a source of contention between us, one I didn’t understand. I’d broken through most of the conditioning that every Lutovish received as a child, but the idea that death was something that should be chosen, not given, had sunk its claws into the depths of me, and I had yet to dig them out. When I considered killing someone, it made me almost a nauseous as I was now, with a gut wound slowly killing me. 

 The Lokke Vitras lowered his hand. 

 “I have other items to address, but considering they involve civilians’ private lives, I will withhold them until a more appropriate time,” he said. “You are free to focus elsewhere.” 

 Again, I bowed, which had my spine screaming at me this time. It had been doing that throughout the lecture, but blocking the pain receptors along my back had, to this point, been more easily accomplished than doing the same for my gut. 

 My strength, however, was quickly flagging. I’d give myself another three minutes before my legs gave out. 

 “I am honored to receive your instruction,” I said. 

 Uh-oh. Some of my stress had been laced into that sentence. Had anyone, besides evushk, noticed it? 

 When I hauled myself upright, the world was spinning at a dizzying frequency, and I took a slow breath through my mouth, watching people in the crowd depart now that the show was over. Many of them stayed, however, because who wouldn’t take advantage of a rare encounter with the Lokke Vitras? Much as people feared him, he also had a certain appeal, as seen in the cautious awe civilians ever sent his way. 

 I was pretty sure he’d never gotten the same from me. 

 He came closer, closing us off from anyone who might try to eavesdrop on us, and I levelly met his gaze, noting when its emptiness wavered. 

 “Can you walk?” he asked, switching to the Ostium tongue. 

 Not without doing something extremely unwise, but hell if I was telling him that. 

 “I can probably reach your skycruiser,” I said. 

 Almost on the tail of this, he said, “Don’t lie to me, kuvesk.” 

 If he’d already known I couldn’t move, then why the fuck had he asked if I could? 

 “Honestly, evushk,” I stiffly said, “it doesn’t much matter what I think, does it? Not about something like this, at least.” 

 And there it was. Despite his typical emptiness, despite what was fighting to break through it now, evushk’s lips twitched like they did every time I’d surprised or amused him. Mother Time, I’d missed it. 

 “How unfortunate for you that I sent emergency services away,” he said. 

 Frowning, I said, “What’s that supposed to me-?” 

 Faster than I could track, evushk bent to lift me off the ground, cradling me to his chest, and after an initial yelp, I bit my tongue hard while trying not to scream. Almost, I blacked out with my vision sparking between scenes instead, and when I’d gained enough control to string those scenes into consecutive order, we were nearly to the lifts. 

 “You’re only… making everything that’s wrong with me… worse,” I gasped. 

 “Then, perhaps you shouldn’t have gotten hurt,” my evushk grumbled. 

 Damn… I’d know he wouldn’t be happy about how much damage I’d taken but this… this seemed excessive. 

 Then, we were in the lift, and its jerk on me, inside and out, forced my attention solely on staying awake. When I could spare focus for the rest of the world, evushk was loading me into his skycruiser. 

 I relaxed while he rounded the vehicle to his seat, putting our destination’s coordinates into the console. As we lifted off of the platform, Lake Phiabe quickly replaced the wet marshlands below us, and evushk reached for a satchel in the back while reclining my seat. Before I could protest, he’d jabbed me with several hypos, everything I’d need to see my body healed. 

 “You silly, reckless, stubborn man,” he said under his breath all the while. 

 I knew better than to respond, letting rapid regeneration drugs do their work instead. Once he was done with me, evushk fell silent, slumping in his seat with his arms crossed. Quiet reigned for the half-hour trip to his home, which would have been more awkward if our situation hadn’t been so familiar. 

 Lake Phiabe passed beneath us, eventually transforming into a still mirror, even if the fog hanging over it had yet to lift. By the time this surrendered to the Southern Fell’s typical moors, I’d healed enough to raise my seat and watch our descent into the estate that House Kolb’s First Stratus claimed. 

 It was much less expansive than my family’s place, but that was only because everything evushk considered unnecessary had been stripped from it. As we approached, its single, stark building rose out of the rolling hills, and the ground beside it parted, giving us access to the estate’s underground landing pad. 

 Once we’d set down, evushk stayed where he was, neither moving nor speaking, and I waited, content to stay where I was. 

 “I expect to see you at dinner tomorrow,” he eventually said. 

 He climbed out of the vehicle before I could say a word, leaving me alone. 

 TTS Chapter Twenty-One

Chapter 22: Or Not 2
For a while, I didn’t move, simply considering how lucky I was that evushk had let me off easy this time. While at the Travel Center, he could have revealed much more embarrassing secrets from my last mission than he had. I couldn’t tell if he’d done that out of consideration for my emotional well-being or if my injuries had worried him enough to delay those criticisms. If that weren’t enough, he’d given me much less time to heal in the past. 

 To be fair, I couldn’t remember the last time I’d come home so badly wounded. 

 When I could, I clawed my way free of the skycruiser, leaving the hangar in lurching steps. The familiar route to my room passed beneath my notice, although the help I’d received from rapid regeneration drugs quickly reached its limit. I had to rely on the drones’ in-built anti-gravity function for the last few meters. 

 The processes that ran when I entered my room were different from the ones that I’d used years ago. In the past, I’d been more concerned with superficial precautions and comfort. Now, everything was set for my safety. 

 My array informed me that no one had entered the room since I’d last left it, and the lights stayed ridiculously bright until I chose to dim them, giving me time to check for superficial surprises. Even with my array’s assurance in hand, I slowly circled the room once I’d sent the drones away. I couldn’t do as thorough of a search here as I might like, but what I could finish indicated that no subtle traps had been set while I’d been gone. After raising my typical warning system near the door and windows, I fell into my bed’s sheets, never bothering with stripping my blood-soaked clothing off of me. 

 My safety measures weren’t nearly as complete as I’d like, but I had nothing else to give. I’d have to trust that the Lokke Vitras wouldn’t murder me in my sleep. 

 Other threats didn’t concern me. If they were undesired, they wouldn’t get into this estate. 

 With nothing else to prevent it, I fell into the sleep that rapid regeneration drugs had been urging from me since I’d received them. 

 When I woke up, it was late afternoon of the next day, and despite the integrity of my warning system, I knew that evushk had been here. I could smell him, or at least, I thought that was what alerted me to his visit. 

 What had he been doing in my room? 

 I didn’t know why that question had popped into my head. It would never be answered. 

 Climbing out of bed, I winced. I was sore, but my wounds were gone, and seeing that, I stretched, testing my range of motion. I wasn’t happy with the results, disliking the accommodations I’d have to make to achieve typically normal movements, but I couldn’t stay in this room for more rest, not with dinner a couple of hours from now. 

 I headed for the kitchen, enjoying the quiet that was ever found in this house. It was truly a refuge for someone constantly embroiled in turmoil, stress, and violence with peace found in every austere corridor and room. 

 I understood why the estate claimed little embellishment. From what I could tell, it had been built with only one goal in mind: safety. Hence, nothing extra had been added besides what was needed for comfortable living. Barely any personal touches marked the place. 

 Except in the kitchen. Located in the center-most bowels of the estate, it was the most defensible room here. So, knives of all types freely decorated magnetized strips on one wall, and an old-fashioned stove and counter tops lay beneath them while ovens sat in a wall at the far end. An icebox stood on the near side, containing perishable ingredients. 

 Very different from a kitchen’s typical solitary refectory. 

 In addition, a table sat in the room’s nook with recessed lights shining down on it, and a bench rested between it and the wall. No other seating was around it, which only made sense for a household of two. 

 Most importantly, however, the kitchen was where Ace spent most of his time. As I entered the room, he trotted to me, wagging his tail, but when he sniffed me, he laid his ears back on his head. 

 “Yeah, I know,” I said. 

 Crouching, I extended a hand toward the dog. 

 “I smell like Vaessa and the drugs you hate, don’t I?” I said. “It’s only me, Ace. If I have time, I’ll take you to the lake before I leave again, ok?” 

 I knew he hadn’t understood what I’d said, but the sound of my voice soothed him. Cautiously, he moved toward me, and I scratched his muzzle. After this was done, he let me move about the room without trouble, and once I’d finished with the prep work for tonight’s meal, I slid onto the table’s bench, resting my head on the wall. 

 I must have fallen asleep because the soft scuff of shoes on the floor jerked me upright, and I frowned. He’d made that noise on purpose. 

 Ace zoomed to the kitchen’s entrance, waiting with barely contained excitement, and I watched the rapidly increasing fury of his wagging tail to know how close evushk had come. When he stepped into the room, he leaned over to appease Ace’s need for attention before glancing at me. 

 He’d changed into something more comfortable, although it kept to his typical palate of black, and my cheeks heated when I remembered that I had yet to shower or change. He noted this with a slight crease between his eyebrows before patting Ace’s back. 

 “You’re early,” he said. 

 “Preparedness leads to success,” I replied. 

 “Only if your condition meets the standards required for your task.” 

 “And mine doesn’t?” I asked. 

 Lifting an eyebrow, evushk moved toward my basted chicken meat and chopped vegetables, and I got out of my seat, leaning on the table once I was on my feet. After a few deep breaths, I crossed the room to assume my typical role as sous chef. 

 Together, the Lokke Vitras and I made dinner, and if I had to take a few breaks to regain my strength during this, he said nothing about them. Once we’d finished, he served our plates before bringing them to the table, which was usually my job. 

 Once we’d arranged ourselves in our normal seating pattern, Ace came to lie at our feet, but neither of us reached for our utensils. I stared at my food while waiting for him to begin. 

 “Despite how it might have seemed in the Travel Center, you did well on this mission,” the Lokke Vitras said. “At some point, we should discuss the conversation you held with Second Stratus Graham in that lockup, but it can wait. Now isn’t the time for criticism but for a listing of everything you did right. 

 “So. While the four months that you took to complete your mission were much longer than any potential Lokke Vitras can spend on one task alone, it was still much better than most Second Stratus House members can achieve. You maintained a persona that was so anathema to you that checking on you recently has made me sick, seeing how changed you were. You fought four people without causing serious injury to them, something I’ve never gone out of my way to try, and while with Vaessa, you cultivated well-placed contacts, even if I forced you to divest of them in the end.” 

 He fell silent, and I’d think he was finished if his body weren’t so tense. 

 “You’re almost ready,” he said. 

 Jerking to face him, I said, “I’m what now?” 

 Evushk nodded. 

 “A few more years and I can give you this position,” he said. 

 Somehow, I caught my crazed cackle before it flew out of my mouth. A few years. Fucking hell, a few more years and I’d be… 

 Suddenly, I wasn’t so hungry. 

 Nudging me, evushk said, “You’ll be fine.” 

 He laid his hand, palm up, on the table, and I eagerly reached for the comfort he’d offered me, curling my fingers around his. The warmth of his skin on mine sent a surge of calm splashing against the spark of my soul, and the vice that had been squeezing my heart loosened at the same rate as evushk’s hand from around mine. 

 Setting my jaw, I pinned it to the table. He wasn’t letting go of me so easily. 

 “Shall we exercise our non-dominant hands?” I asked, refusing to look at him. 

 But he tightened his hold on me once more, and I reached for my fork. 

 “What have you been up to while I’ve been gone?” I asked. 

 “Infiltration of House Cerullis,” evushk said. “They’ve turned dangerously hostile in recent months, so Talira sent me to find out why.” 

 “Did you learn anything?” I said around a mouthful of food. 

 Evushk slowed down in his eating, which was my only clue that I’d unintentionally upset him. 

 “I had to extract before gaining any meaningful intel,” he said. “It was nothing serious, just a possible compromise of my persona. I’ll return within the month.” 

 “Do you need help?” I asked. 

 I didn’t expect that he’d ask for any, too stubborn for it, and as usual when it came to this topic, I was right. 

 “The role of the Lokke Vitras is solitary,” he said. “If I accepted someone’s help, even yours, others would perceive it as a weakness.” 

 I wanted to argue that his expressed worry wouldn’t come true, but even if it did, why should he care what other people thought of him? Their opinions didn’t lessen his ability to mop the floor with them, but I didn’t say this. While on this estate, our roles might be relaxed to a certain degree, but there were some topics I could never argue with him about, no matter the setting. 

 “Your brother’s House naming ceremony is in two days,” evushk said. 

 The subject change whiplashed me so badly that I almost choked. 

 “Yes?” I hesitantly said. “I keep track of my family’s activities, even if I never see them. I know Pheniks will be choosing a House soon. Why bring it up?” 

 I was half afraid that he’d say someone in my family had become a threat to Lutov. If that was the case, he might order me to eliminate them, which was a terrifying thought, but he just squeezed my hand. 

 "Would you like to attend?” he asked. 

 I clenched my fingers around my fork to keep it from clattering onto my plate. Was he serious? Mother Time, he’d never asked me what I wanted, not about anything like this at least. 

 It didn’t matter either way. Whether I believed his sincerity or not, he’d expect me to answer his question. So, I turned my body to stone, keeping my eyes on my half-finished food. 

 “I would like that, evushk,” I said. 

 “Then, you should attend.” 

 When I swung my head his way, the Lokke Vitra s was leaning on the table, cupping his cheek, and his hair had fallen into his eyes, making me shiver. 

 “No one needs you at the moment, and I can suspend your training for something as momentous as this,” he said. “Attend your brother’s House naming.” 

 Oh, hell. Something this powerful hadn’t threatened my control in ages, and on seeing the unspoken question in my eyes, evushk nodded. 

 “You may relax in full, kuvesk,” he said. 

 So, as had been threatened before, I let my fork clatter across the table while throwing myself at him. He rocked back while I circled my arms around his neck. 

 “Thank you!” I gasped. “Thank you, thank you, thank you!” 

 After awkwardly patting my back for a moment with Ace worriedly sticking his nose between our legs, evushk pulled me away from him. 

 “You’ll need to pack for an extended trip in Xygek. I may have a mission for you by the end of the week,” he said. “Take a skycruiser. Try not to crash it this time.” 

 I flushed at the reminder of a chase that had ended in disaster a few years ago. 

 “I won’t,” I said. 

 “Good. Then, go,” evushk said. “I’ll clean up tonight. You have a lot to do.” 

 Grabbing his hand, I held it between mine, bringing the resulting bundle to my lips. 

 “Thank you, evushk. Truly,” I said. “This means a lot to me.” 

 With his lips twitching, the Lokke Vitras pulled his hand out of my hold. 

 “I can see that,” he said. “You should probably get out of here before I change my mind.” 

 “Yes, evushk.” 

 I left my dinner half-finished, racing for the room where I slept. 

 My family. I hadn’t seen them in years. I let myself believe that our length of time apart was the only reason that my arms were trembling. If it was something more, it meant that the simple promise of a visit with them had defeated my years of training. 

 And I refused to believe that was possible. 

 TTS Chapter Twenty-Two

Chapter 23: Perhaps I'm a Good Brother 1
The skycruiser set down, and I sat, motionless, in it. I hadn’t announced my arrival yet, uncertain how I should phrase the message. My family hadn’t seen me since my House naming ceremony. What would they do when I walked through the apartment’s door? 

 Rather than think about that, I glanced around the skycruiser, remembering when evushk and I had last used this one. We’d been headed home after completing a mission together, one that had gone poorly for us. He’d been where I was sitting now with me beside him, and after he’d input our destination’s coordinates, the air between us had been so thick. I’d thought it was because of a mistake I’d made, so I’d turned to apologize, he’d taken a fistful of my shirt, and… well. I’d gained a fond memory. 

 The glow of it helped me step onto the landing pad, and after retrieving my bag to toss over my shoulder, I waved off the drones that had come to help. Despite evushk’s warning, I’d packed only the items that I might need on a normal, daily basis, planning to raid my room for clothes, but now that I was here, I realized that my parents might not have kept my room ready for me. 

 If they hadn’t, it wouldn’t be a disaster. I might not belong to a House yet, but my Stratus, or lack thereof, would get me House-issued clothing from any store, and I’d always been most comfortable in those standard outfits. 

 Wonderful. Contemplation of that subject had gotten me to the door. Now, I needed to decide how I’d do this. How should I behave around my family now? 

 When I wasn’t on missions, I’d learned to discard personas, even if I still kept my emotions on a tight leash. They weren’t held separately like they had been when I was a child! But I controlled them, more so than most people did. 

 I wasn’t on a mission right now, but my family had never seen me without a persona. How would they react to the real me on top of our years-long separation? 

 For a while, I stood in front of the door into the apartment, wrestling with this problem. Fear wasn’t keeping me from making a decision. Rather, I didn’t have all of the variables I needed, and because of that, I didn’t know how to resolve this situation to where I achieved the best possible conclusion. Since I had the time, I’d like to figure it out before entering. I’d rather not fake my behavior when around the people I loved, but I didn’t know if they could handle me anymore. 

 Eventually, the choice was ripped away from me. The door slid open— 

 “-out with your hands up. How’d you get the codes-?” 

 —and a rifle’s barrel was in my face. It didn’t matter that a tiny part of me screamed in recognition of the voice I’d heard. I reacted. 

 Smacking the heel of my palm against the inside of an elbow, I used my other hand to grab the attached wrist. When I jerked it up, an energy bolt singed my temple, and I twisted my hold. With its owner no longer holding it, the rifle dissipated. 

 Swinging my enemy’s arm around, I hurled them into the door frame, quickly followed by me pinning them in place. I rested a knife—plucked from its hiding spot—against a neck, pressing hard enough that only a little more pressure would open its jugular. 

 All done in five seconds. All done on instinct. 

 Then, my mind caught up with my body, and I dropped the knife. It skittered across the floor as I stumbled away. 

 “Dad? I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean…. wasn’t going to…” I babbled. “Mother Time, what’d I do? I’ll just- I’ll find somewhere else to sleep.” 

 Spinning in place, I headed for the skycruiser, tapping into nearby recorders to watch my back as I went. Habits ingrained by my training wouldn’t relent, even in the face of me attacking my own damn father. 

 “Zaeden?!” 

 Holy shit, he’d sounded strange. Had that been joy or fear that had choked his voice? 

 Didn’t matter. Tucking my chin to my chest, I raced for escape. 

 “Stop! What are you…?” dad called. “Zae, hang on one damn minute, please!” 

 I slowed down. Halted. Rested my hand on the skycruiser for support. Waited. 

 “What are you doing here?” dad asked. 

 And he cringed. He didn’t mean for me to see it, yes, but I was watching him through the hangar’s recorders. So, I saw him wince in anticipation of a blow. 

 Fear. While on the way here, I’d gone through the many possible scenarios that I might encounter when reuniting with my family, but in not one of them had I considered that they might be afraid of me. 

 I didn’t know why I hadn’t. It was the most logical reaction to an unannounced visit from the Lokke Vitras to come but… 

 They were my family. How could dad think I’d hurt him? 

 Wasn’t that what I’d done, though? 

 Mother Time, the burn in my eyes was getting difficult to ignore. 

 Slumping, I faced my father with my hands clearly raised, exactly like I did when keeping a target calm. 

 “I’m not here on House business,” I said. “Do you think shukusen Talira would send me to apprehend her own son?” 

 “I think your grandmother’s done many terrible things in her life,” dad said. “Probably more than you realize.” 

 Oh, I was sure she had. She’d certainly sent evushk on enough missions that weighed on him to this day but not me. Never me. 

 “Phen’s House naming is tomorrow, right?” I said. “I’m here for that. I’m here to see my family. I’m sorry I attacked you, dad. It was-” 

 “Instinct,” dad interrupted. “Yeah, I gathered.” 

 Pausing, he examined me for a moment before turning on his heel to march inside. 

 “Let’s get you settled,” he stiffly said. “Everyone’s in the living room, listening to your brother jabber about some science thing. We’ll say hello first. Oh. And if you could give the drones permission to move your skycruiser, I’d appreciate it.” 

 “I don’t think that’s a good idea,” I called. 

 While dad was already inside the apartment, I had yet to take a step. I couldn’t bring myself to move, unable to believe how he was treating the situation. 

 If this was what I could expect from everyone in my family, I wasn’t sure I wanted to cross the apartment’s threshold. I’d still do it, if only to see whether Pheniks wanted me at his House naming ceremony, but given a choice, I’d rather stay out here. 

 Glancing over his shoulder, dad halted, frowning. 

 “Why not?” he asked. 

 “The skycruiser isn’t mine,” I said, jerking my thumb over my shoulder at it. “It belongs to evushk, and I’m not sure what sort of surprises he might have planted for any unauthorized users.” 

 “Evushk? A teacher. Who-?” dad asked before his eyes widened. “Our First Stratus.” 

 “Well… your First Stratus, but yes,” I said. 

 While he was stuck on that thought, I forced myself to go into the apartment, so by the time he shook his head, I was standing beside him, adjusting my bag’s strap on my shoulder. 

 “Is my room available?” I asked. “I know it’s been a few years.” 

 “We kept everything the way you left it,” dad said. “Couldn’t bring ourselves to…” 

 To what? 

 Hanging his head, dad wouldn’t meet my eyes, which was a… strange reaction. Best not to analyze it, not with everything else I needed to process. 

 “Can I drop this off first?” I asked. “I can find my own way to the living room, which will give you time to speak with the others. Unless you think I should send them messages instead?” 

 “No,” dad hastily said. “No, let me do it. Zaeden…” 

 The look on his face pinched my heart. 

 “I’m not here on House business,” I repeated. “The family’s safe.” 

 Taking a deep breath, he nodded, trudging toward the living room without a word, and I watched him go until he'd rounded a corner, sending a message once he was out of view. 

 You didn’t warn me about how difficult this would be, evushk. 

 I was almost in my room by the time he replied. 

 You needed to experience it for yourself. Feel free to make use of the apartment if you need it. I’ll join you in the city soon. 

 Mother Time, he was being kind to me. It made me suspicious, but then, that was a near constant state when it came to evushk. 

 After reaching my destination, I did a cursory examination of the place before tugging a side table away from the wall, smiling to see that dad hadn’t been exaggerating. If anyone had been living in my room since I’d left, they’d have noticed the hole that I’d knocked into the dry wall here. 

 Squeezing between the side table and my bed, I sat beside my old stash with my bag in my lap. I noted how badly the items inside needed dusting as I removed each of them. 

 Prepared kits for pranks. 

 I rarely pulled those anymore, not that I could. Over the last few years, my only possible targets had been evushk or my ‘companions’ while I was in deep cover. Maybe I could indulge in this old, favored activity while I stayed here. If I stayed. 

 A few sentimental gifts from partners. 

 My dating life had suffered in recent years. I’d needed my free time to recharge, leaving nothing extra for other people, and bringing such a lack of energy into a relationship wouldn’t be fair. 

 Did any of my former partners remember me as more than a footnote in their lives? When evushk had chosen me as his replacement, it hadn’t been highly publicized, meaning most of the people I'd cared about had probably never learned what had happened to me. I hoped I hadn’t hurt them too badly by vanishing into thin air. 

 A go-bag. 

 The one I’d brought with me was much better equipped than the poor selection found in this one, but given my resources at the time, it wasn’t too bad. With it, I could survive for a couple of days, which had always been the point. If anyone had found out about my aspirations for freedom, coming to exile me as a result, I’d have had the supplies needed to help me escape the city, but I didn’t need this bag anymore. I was thoroughly ensnared in captivity. 

 A physical, bound book. 

 I didn’t remember where I’d gotten this. Maybe I’d stolen it during one of my House rotations, when I’d had access to their limited libraries, or accepted it as a gift from a high Stratus partner. I supposed where it had come from didn’t matter, though. 

 This, I’d take home. Evushk would like me adding a volume of my own to his already impressive collection. 

 A message, scrawled in my near-unintelligible handwriting. 

 Blankly staring at this, I almost crumpled it to toss it across the room. I hated the words on it, words that a child had thought were profound, words I’d been afraid of committing to my array, but this scrap of paper was my start. Once I’d written this sentence, my path had begun, and I couldn’t easily discard it. 

 So, I tucked it inside the book, shoved that into my bag, and banged my head on the wall. 

 “No one will own me,” I said. “Ha!” 

 Rubbing my eyes, I shook myself and replaced a pile of paltry belongings into my stash before adding my bag to it. After shoving the side table back into place, I had nothing further to delay me. 

 As I approached the living room, Pheniks’ voice drifted out of it alongside occasional murmurs from the others, and I hovered outside of the entrance, taking a moment to enjoy the sound of family. I couldn’t keep putting this reunion off, though, and who knew? Maybe mom, Pheniks, and Feena wouldn’t have as strong of a reaction to me as dad had. So, I stepped into view and faced the room with gritted teeth. 

 Dad and Feena were standing in its most defensible corner with several objects between me and them, and a twinge speared through me when I noted my sister playing with a knife in the most causal way possible. Mom was sitting with Pheniks on the couch, and while he was facing away from me, chattering nonstop, mom had draped herself over the couch’s backrest so she could see the room’s entrance, keeping her muscles deceptively loose. When I entered the room, everyone who could see me tensed, and I rocked to a stop. 

 Fuck me. Fuck me, why did it feel like someone had shot me through the gut again? 

 Mother Time, I couldn’t do this. Seeing them like this, I was barely holding off a breakdown. If my little brother turned around and looked at me like I’d rip his head off, I would lose it.  

 So, with my hands displayed once more, I bowed to my family, these people I’d thought would always love me, and backed toward the exit. 

 Damn, I needed something comforting right now. Thank all that might be holy that evushk had offered up his apartment in the city. There, I could restrain this horrible hurt until it had faded to reasonable levels or until the Lokke Vitras arrived. Considering the circumstances, he might indulge me, participating in an activity that we both loved. 

 “What are you three staring at?” 

 Frowning, Pheniks swung his gaze over our family before landing it on me, and with a gasp, his eyes went wide. Hell, I wanted to run. I wanted to flee another rejection, but something held me in place while my brother’s face morphed into… delight? 

 “Zae!” he shouted. 

 Pheniks vaulted over the back of the sofa, and before I could analyze the best way to repulse him, he’d pulled me to his chest, squeezing me while pounding my back. This additional abuse to my recently healed spine made it complain, but I barely noticed that. 

 Hesitantly, I made to return my brother’s embrace, half-afraid that he’d come to the same conclusion as the rest of my family in the time it would take me to finish it. As I’d thought, he pulled away before I could get my arms around him, and panic fluttered in my throat. 

 “Mother Time, I’m glad you’re here,” Pheniks said. “I thought you wouldn’t come.” 

 He wanted me here. My brother was treating me the same as he had before the disruption to our lives. 

 I lost track of time, but I couldn’t blame my addlement on an injury today. I’d been set into a swirling drift of wonderful, soul-wrenching emotions, and I didn’t make a single attempt to escape it. 

 I was barely aware of holding Pheniks to me, doing my best to curl over him—Mother Time, when had he gotten so tall?—and refusing to let go, even when he started squirming. I was half-aware of him speaking. 

 “Zae? Zae! What are you-? Ow! Damn, when did you get so stro…? Holy shit, are you crying? What’s the matter? Wh-?” 

 But then, I overrode him. 

 “Did you miss me? Did any of you even think about me?” I gasped. “You were always on my mind. On every birthday. Every time I had to do something I didn’t… every time I limped home with my body broken and shattered. Every fucking day and you- you-” 

 Shrieking realization ripped through me, and I roughly released Pheniks, spinning away from him. Hunching on myself, I squeezed my eyes closed, rapidly clenching and unclenching my hands. When I could, I cleared my throat. 

 “My apologies, Pheniks,” I said. “You should be celebrating your House naming, and I’m not…” 

 Forcibly relaxing, I opened my eyes, leeching emotion from my voice. 

 “I shouldn’t have come.” 

 I took a step to leave, barely stopping myself from reacting with violence when someone took hold of my shoulder. 

 “You being here is the best House naming gift I could possibly receive,” Pheniks said. “Don’t go.” 

 I’d love to spend time with him, but I wasn’t sure how long our parents or sister would tolerate- 

 “Zae, I’m sorry,” Feena said. “Please, stay. Please.” 

 I’d gained an acceptable number of allies, enough to change my mind about leaving at least. All the same, I should warn them. 

 “I’m not the same person you knew. You might not like me now.” 

 “Mother Time, Zaeden, quit being ridiculous,” Pheniks said. “Find a seat and relax. I was just telling mom about House Cerullis’ most recent report on their exploration of the planet’s mantle.” 

 “That sounds…” 

 Boring as hell. 

 “Interesting,” I said. 

 “Right?” Pheniks chirped. “So, come on. Where would you like to sit?” 

 At the insistent tug on my shoulder, I turned to examine the room. Mom was on her feet by the fire, blocking access to Feena from me, and while my sister had moved out of the corner with her expression more welcoming, dad still had his arms crossed. Apparently, my parents had yet to be convinced that I was anything less than a monster, come to brutally murder them, but dad was… kind enough to relinquish the defensible position he’d taken. As I passed him, I nodded my thanks before leaning against the wall. 

 Feena took up the spot that mom had abandoned beside Pheniks, and he resumed his explanation of the report. I half-listened, watching my parents creep toward me. 

 What could they possibly want? 

 TTS Chapter Twenty-Three

Chapter 24: Perhaps I'm a Good Brother 2
I wondered what my parents wanted. Would they ask me to leave, taking the danger that I represented elsewhere? Or perhaps they planned to beg for their children’s lives. 

 They gave me plenty of space, whether to gain an advantage on me or to give me an avenue of escape, I couldn’t say. Unfortunately, this distance meant that we couldn’t speak out loud without interrupting Pheniks, so we relied on our array’s translation of our sub-vocals instead. 

 “We didn’t forget you,” mom said. 

 What? Why on earth-? 

 Right. What I’d said in my emotional state. 

 “Oh?” 

 I gave her nothing more, which had her shifting in place. 

 “We acted like you’d died because in a way, you had,” mom said. “One day, you’ll take over for the current Lokke Vitras, and when that happens, Zaeden will cease to exist. You’ll have to abandon your ties with loved ones, and we thought you’d prefer to do that sooner rather than later.” 

 Great. I’d heard this line of reasoning a thousand times before, but it had never come from someone I could argue with. 

 “I’m not forbidden love,” I said, “and I have no intention of giving it or you up.” 

 “You say that now,” dad said. “What if your loved ones become a threat to Lutov, though? Will you fail in your duty so you can satisfy your own needs?” 

 “Sacrifice self, dad. It’s the first part of the Lokke Vitras… oath, we’ll call it,” I said. “You’ve posed a good point, though. I’ll have to consider it.” 

 My parents shivered, and I was wondering what had caused it when mom came to my side and took my hand. 

 “We love you, Zaeden, and we want what’s best for you,” she said, “but we’re limited in how we can show that by the constraints of who you are now.” 

 “And we love them too,” dad said. 

 He nodded to Feena and Pheniks, who were immersed in their conversation, and I knew what he was trying to say. If they were right and I couldn’t have loved ones because they might endanger Lutov, then I should leave them now instead of later. I should become the dead, middle sibling. 

 When my parents looked at me with tight eyes, I let my gaze slide off of them. 

 “Understood,” I said. 

 Mom squeezed my hand, but then, she and dad moved far away from me, and surrounded by people, I was alone. I’d been here many times before but never with people who were important to me, and that… hurt. 

 Eventually, someone mentioned that we should get some sleep if we wanted to be prepared for tomorrow. So, we exchanged good nights—although mine were made awkward, no matter how smoothly I tried to give them—before separating for the evening, or I thought that was what we’d done. I was proven wrong when Feena hurried to catch up with me after the others had disappeared. 

 “Can I speak with you?” she asked. 

 Odd question. 

 “Since when have you needed to ask me that?” I said. 

 “Fair,” Feena said, rubbing the back of her neck. “I thought you might be busy with something.” 

 What could I have to do besides…? 

 Wait. Did she think I had House business in the city? If I did, I certainly wouldn’t be staying in such a compromised, emotionally fraught location while doing it. But then again… 

 “You have no idea what I’ve been up to for the last six years, do you?” I said with a laugh tugging on my lips. 

 “How exactly am I supposed to know?” Feena snapped. “You’ve never sent us messages, so we’ve had to rely on possible Lokke Vitras sightings to have an inkling of just your damn location, let alone-” 

 “I’ve been in the Southern Fells when I’m not on a mission,” I said. “But no, I’m not busy. Evushk gave me time so I could attend Phen’s House naming ceremony.” 

 “Evushk?” 

 Oh, yes. Dad had had this same problem. Sometimes, I forgot that evushk was the opposite of a teacher in everyone else’s mind. 

 “Your First Stratus, Feena,” I said. 

 She stopped short, and puzzled, I watched her until she clasped her hands in front of her face.  

 “That’s right! You know the Lokke Vitras,” she said with her eyes shining. “What’s he like?” 

 When had she gotten over her fear of talking about him? 

 Cocking my head, I considered how best to answer her. Evushk wouldn’t like me disclosing details about him, private as he was, but I’d like to share something with Feena. Maybe if I gave her a single word, he wouldn’t be upset by it. What was the best word to describe him, though? 

 The answer to that question came to me so quickly that it spawned a fierce grin on my face. 

 “Quiet,” I said. 

 Continuing toward my room, I chuckled under my breath at the confused noise that rose from behind me, and when she drew alongside me again, Feena cast a dubious glace my way. 

 “The Lokke Vitras, a one-man army and the cause of nightmarish amounts of chaos, is quiet?” she said. 

 “Mmhmm. Sometimes, the estate goes for days without a sound,” I said. “Well, except for the ones that Ace makes.” 

 Feena had to know that I was trying to change the subject, but she allowed it anyway. 

 “Ace?” 

 “Our dog,” I said. “No, that’s not right. Ace is my dog. Evushk brought him home soon after I moved to his estate.” 

 If Feena’s gaze had been dubious before, it had become accusatory disbelief now. 

 “The Lokke Vitras got you a dog,” she said. 

 “Sure,” I said. “Ace was the first step in my training.” 

 For some reason, this assertion closed Feena’s face off. 

 “How so?” she asked. 

 Hmm. I didn’t know if I could answer that question. Could someone besides the Lokke Vitras know the details of my training? 

 I found the idea likely. The people who held the position of the Lokke Vitras met unexpected ends quite frequently, so spreading the knowledge of how to train a new one made sense. Still, my sister didn’t seem like the type of person who’d need to know- 

 Feena raced around me to grab my arms with her lips peeled back and her eyes sparking. 

 “What did he make you do?” she growled. 

 Why was she so upset? More importantly, if I refused to answer her question, what would Feena do? Would she decide that our parents had been right about me? 

 If my training was supposed to be kept secret, it wasn’t worth distancing her over. 

 “When evushk brought Ace home as a puppy, he ordered me to maim the dog,” I said with a shrug. “I refused, which was what he’d wanted. He needed to know if I was a monster before making me into one.” 

 That hadn’t been Ace’s only purpose. At the time, I’d been sent reeling by the sudden change in my life and the death of my dreams. I’d needed something to hold onto, a companion to help ease me into my new role, and that was what Ace had become. 

 I’d never been sure if evushk had meant to grant me such kindness with his gift. What I did know was that he’d been much more lenient in my training than he should have been. I’d seen flics of other people in my position, so I knew what the training of a potential Lokke Vitras was supposed to look like. Over the years I’d spent with him, there was no doubt in my mind that my evushk had deviated from this tried-and-true route. 

 That wasn’t to say that he’d never been harsh with me, of course. Given what the Lokke Vitras was meant to handle and represent, I didn’t think anyone could undergo the training to become one without some element of horror included in it. 

 Having heard my answer, Feena loosened her grip on me, but the intensity of her gaze never softened. 

 “If he gave you that same order now, what would you do?” she asked. 

 That was an… uncomfortable question for many reasons. Besides the obvious, it brushed up against my current inability to end a life, and… I didn’t know whether to be honest with Feena about this. She wouldn’t like what I had to say. 

 Maybe I could hedge my way out of answering her. 

 “It would depend on the circumstances,” I said. 

 Feena dug her fingernails into my arms. 

 “So, you might break a puppy’s legs on command?” she snarled. 

 With my lips going thin, I knocked her hands off of me. 

 “If refusing to do it endangered Lutov in some, frankly, bizarre way, then yes. I would. Without hesitation,” I said. “But I would look for another solution to the problem first. I would hate myself while doing it, and afterward, I would care for the poor thing. Why are you asking me this, Feena? Are you that eager to see how much I’ve changed?” 

 Gaping, she wouldn’t answer me, and with a click of my tongue, I skirted around her. 

 What had I been thinking, giving her honesty? Believing that I could be myself around anyone besides the one man who understood me was naïve. 

 It was fine, though. Lesson learned. From now on, I’d use a persona when around my family. Where in my head had I left the blueprint for the one that I’d discarded years ago? 

 While I tried to remember how that Zaeden had acted, I turned into my room, starting a more thorough search of it once inside. Feena entered behind me, but I didn’t speak a word to her. Not only would my persona take much longer to assume than normal, considering how long it had been since I’d last used it, but I didn’t know what else I could say right now. She needed a night to digest my given truth before I could deconstruct her new perceptions of me. 

 She’d never gotten around to telling me what she’d first needed. Maybe that was why she’d followed me. 

 “What are you doing?” she asked in a small voice. 

 When I glanced at her, Feena was hugging herself while biting a lip, and I shook my head. If I made her that uncomfortable, then why was she here? 

 “I’m checking for traps and poisons,” I said. “I didn’t have time to do it earlier.” 

 “You think one of us would poison you?” Feena squeaked. 

 Chuckling, I started rearranging items in the room so I’d know whether someone had searched it. Thank Mother Time I had monitors for faux windows, leaving the door as this place’s only access point. 

 “That’s always a possibility, but I highly doubt it would happen,” I said. “It’s more likely that someone snuck into this apartment, whether today or years ago, to set a trap. My identity as the Lokke Vitras to come isn’t common knowledge, but a handful of people know about it. If I’ve made enemies among them, they might look for a place like this to surprise me. The scenario is again, unlikely, but it pays to be prepared when you’re someone like me.” 

 Feena coughed. 

 “Zae, this is Xygek,” she said. “No one will try to kill you here.” 

 “Do you know how many murderers I’ve brought in from this city alone?” I said. “Lutov isn’t the paradise that we’ve been led to believe. It comes close, but the system still has flaws, mostly human in nature.” 

 Finished with everything I could do while Feena was in the room, I faced her. 

 “Now, what do you want?” I asked. 

 She was pressing her hand to her scalp, yanking on her hair, and a hint of panic had infected her eyes. I was surprised she hadn’t started hyperventilating yet. 

 “Just… give me a second,” she gasped. 

 While she went through a calming technique, I hopped onto my bed, glancing through messages in my array. Nothing of consequence was waiting for me there, but I liked to go through them when I found spare time. Otherwise, they started piling up. 

 “So, you still do that,” Feena said. 

 She’d sounded less panicked, thank Mother Time. When someone looked like they needed comfort, I’d always hated when they asked for space instead, even if I still complied with their request. 

 Without bothering to focus, I asked, “Do what?” 

 “You were humming,” Feena said, “tapping your fingers on invisible piano keys. You used to do that when you were bored.” 

 Lowering my hands, I met my sister’s eyes. 

 “I’m still your brother. Still your obnoxious Zaeden,” I say. “I just… grew up. Had some new behaviors piled on the old.” 

 Holding her breath, Feena closed her eyes tight, pursing her lips, before releasing a long sigh. As she snapped her eyes open, she pushed off of the wall that she’d been leaning against. 

 “You’re right. Seeing you like this… it was quite a shock, but I should have expected it, given everything you must have experienced over these last few years. You even warned us that things had changed earlier,” she said. “So, I’m sorry. Will you forgive me?” 

 Reconciling with her had been easier than expected. I was tempted to be suspicious of it but… what was the point of that? 

 In response, I patted the sheets beside me, and with a hesitant smile, Feena sat where indicated, quickly collapsing to her back. 

 “So?” I asked. 

 She’d know what I meant. What had she wanted to talk about? I had my theories, but I was curious which, if any, would be right. 

 “It’s about the family tradition,” Feena said. 

 “The climbing a tower to jump off of it thing?” I asked. 

 Nodding, Feena said, “I was planning to do it with Phen tonight, what with you being…” 

 She vaguely gestured. 

 “But here you are, and by custom, taking him through that ritual is your responsibility. You could take over for me, if you were so inclined.” 

 After watching her for a moment, I flopped to lie beside my sister. 

 “I’m not,” I said. 

 Feena started protesting, and I lifted a finger above us to silence her. 

 “Let’s do it together,” I said. 

 Her breathing hiccupped, and the next thing I knew, my sister was smothering me, digging her elbows and hip bones into uncomfortable places. 

 “Thank you,” she breathed. 

 “-welcome,” I managed to grunt. “Feena…” 

 I gently shoved her, and when she rolled off of me, relieving pressure, I hissed, clutching at my chest and gut. 

 “What is it?” Feena asked. “Are you hurt?” 

 Shaking my head, I said, “Sore. Rapid regeneration drugs don’t work as well on me anymore. I’ve used them too many times, but that’s a story for another day. Let’s focus on Phen. What’s the plan?” 

 Distractedly humming, Feena popped up on an elbow with an evil smile in place. 

 “So, I’ve changed a few details from when I did this with you…” 

 TTS Chapter Twenty-Four

Chapter 25: Perhaps I'm a Good Brother 3
The tower that we siblings were standing in front of had a much shorter profile on the horizon than the one Feena had told me to climb years ago, and rather than flat panes of glass for walls, this one had stone accents and balconies, among other things, to serve as hand and footholds. In addition, a sack of mag hooks was already sitting at Pheniks’ feet, and still, he had his arms crossed while a yawn ruined his scowl. 

 He was much less enthusiastic with his protests than I’d been, looking between the sack and the top of the tower before asking. 

 “Why?” 

 Feena was getting frustrated, I could tell, so I stepped in for her. 

 “People in our family have been doing this for generations, right?” I said. “Each of them made a record of their time to reach the top, hoping to see what contributes more toward their speed. Is it body type or intelligence? We’d like to add your data to the pool.” 

 “Hmm.” 

 Pheniks rubbed his chin before jerking his head in a nod. 

 “All right,” he said. “When does my time start?” 

 “As soon as you pick up the sack,” Feena said, playing along. “It’ll stop when your feet hit the top of the tower.” 

 “Fine.” 

 Before he grabbed the pack, Pheniks glared at us. 

 “I can’t believe you two woke me up for this,” he said. 

 Then, he was off, racing for the tower. We watched his progress for a while, steadily moving our eyes up. 

 “Nice idea, making this an experiment for him,” Feena said. 

 “He would never have responded to a contest,” I said. “Why would he participate in something he knows he won’t win?” 

 Grunting, Feena said, “Is there a record of times?” 

 “I hope so, or Phen’s going to kill me,” I said, cocking my head. “You might have made it too easy for him, sister.” 

 Pheniks was already a third of the way to the top, and his considerable talent with calculating probability alone wouldn’t account for that much progress. 

 “Let’s face it, Zae. Phen’s not House Kolb material,” Feena said. “If he chooses our House, he’ll be low or mid Strata for his whole life.” 

 “Well, whichever House he picks, I hope it isn’t Cerullis,” I said. “If everything I’ve heard is true, that House is in for a rude awakening sometime in the next few years.” 

 Feena whipped her head to me. 

 “What-?” 

 But I held up a finger while my array gave me a distance estimate between Pheniks and his goal. 

 “We should go if we want to make it there before him,” I said. “We do want that, right?” 

 “Hell, yes,” Feena said, reaching for her bag of mag hooks. 

 With an innocent smile, I said, “How would you feel about making our climb more interesting?” 

 Slowly straightening, Feena narrowed her eyes at me. 

 “Why do I get the feeling I’m going to regret saying yes?” she said. “Ok. What are the stakes?” 

 “First one to the top gets three drinks with the loser whenever they want, no matter what the loser’s doing at the time,” I said. 

 “Except if it’s House business, right?” Feena asked. 

 My smile flattened. 

 “Yes,” I said, “except for that.” 

 If Feena had heard how dead my voice had gone there, she made no comment on it. She considered my suggestion for a moment before sticking her hand out. 

 “Stakes proposed,” I said as I took it. 

 “Stakes accepted,” Feena said with a quick handshake. 

 Once that was done, she jerked on my arm, and I let her force me into a stumble. Feena hauled ass for the tower, flashing up it once she’d reached its base, but I approached it more slowly, pulling my one mag hook from the pocket where I’d tucked it earlier. Squinting up the side of the building, I waited for my array to tag several viable attraction points along the top. 

 I was especially proud of this process as I’d written it myself. After a mission years ago, I’d needed something to do while waiting a day, alone, for permission to come home. While it might not be that different from other processes, used for extraction purposes, it had proven itself rather useful in its own way, and I was once more grateful for it, even if it would only win me a bet tonight. 

 After I'd selected one of my choices, I aimed my mag hook, the attraction between it and a point overhead set before magnifying, and I shot into the air, angling into wind gusts when they hit me. When I passed Feena, I had my tongue stuck out, and she shrieked after me. So, it was with a satisfied smirk that I flipped over the tower top’s safety railing once my mag hook slammed into its attraction point. 

 I was sitting on it with my legs swinging when my sister reached the top. As she stormed toward me, I held my hand, palm up, toward her. 

 “Peanut?” I asked. 

 A single nut was waiting for her there, and snatching it from me, Feena hurled it into the night, panting when she spun on me. 

 Jabbing a finger in my face, she growled, “Using your bullshit high Stratus tech is cheating.” 

 Gripping the railing, I leaned as far back on it as I could without falling, keeping a grin in place. 

 “Is it?” I asked. “I don’t remember discussing anything like that while on the ground.” 

 With fists at her sides, Feena glared at me more fiercely than before while her face turned red. 

 “If I pushed you right now,” she hissed, “what would happen?” 

 “I’d activate my P.I.G and fly back up, probably laughing all the while,” I said. 

 Leaping atop the railing, I pushed off of it, and with a flip, I landed nose-to-nose with my sister, keeping my arms outstretched. 

 “Did you miss me?” I asked. 

 For some reason, this made Feena’s eyes fill with tears. 

 “More than you can know,” she said. 

 Fortunately, Pheniks saved me from having to reply, reaching the top of the tower in a sweaty mess at that moment. 

 “Phen!” I shouted. “You made it!” 

 Casting a sour look our way, Pheniks finished climbing over the railing before tumbling to the floor. When he got to his feet, he brushed himself off. 

 “How long have you two been here?” he asked. 

 “Maybe a minute,” Feena said. “You did great, Phen! Amazing, actually.” 

 “Don’t patronize me,” Pheniks grumbled. 

 “She’s not,” I said. “She didn’t give you enough mag hooks to reach the top, not with them alone. You should have gotten stuck a few floors down.” 

 Pheniks’ face brightened. 

 “Oh… is that why they ran out of power?” he said. “I thought you’d forgotten to charge them. It’s a good thing I carry extra reserves with me, or one of you might’ve had to rescue me.” 

 Mother Time, when would he stop slinking in our shadows? When would he realize how brilliant he was? 

 “I never doubted you for a second,” I said, meaning every word. 

 Flushing, Pheniks ducked his head, kicking at the floor, and Feena started rummaging through her sack for the equipment that the two of them would soon need. 

 “So, I’m assuming we’ll compare results on the ground. How are we getting there?” Pheniks said. “No doubt the building’s locked, but surely one of you could break us in.” 

 “We could,” I said, “or we could take the fun way down.” 

 While Feena held two Propulsion Initiation Gears up, I activated my modified P.I.G., letting metal unfold from the backs of my hands and heels. Everything read ready in my array, but as always, I did a test lift to make sure each piece was working properly. 

 When I landed, I said, “All a go.” 

 Pheniks and Feena were still waiting for the P.I.G.s to unfurl. 

 “Damn, that was fast,” Pheniks said. “Do you wear this thing all the time?” 

 “No, of course not,” I said, scrunching up my face. “I had one with me. While Feena was waking you up, I placed its attachments.” 

 Frowning, Pheniks said, “Why did you have a P.I.G. with you?” 

 Striding to my brother, I ruffled his hair before placing a hand on his chest. 

 “I am the Lokke Vitras to come,” I said. “Preparedness is part of my job.” 

 I activated the propulsor on the palm pressed against Pheniks’ chest, and while I stumbled back a step, already ready for the discharge of power, my brother flew over the railing before plummeting toward the ground.  

 TTS Chapter Twenty-Five

Chapter 26: Perhaps I'm a Good Brother 4
Clicking her tongue, Feena whacked the back of my head. 

 “Inspiring speech?” she snapped. 

 “He’ll get it on the ground,” I said. “Same park as before?” 

 “Yep.” 

 Together, we vaulted into the open air, pushing our P.I.G.s so we could close the distance to Pheniks. He was flailing, obviously in the grips of panic, so I cut power for a moment to snatch him to me. 

 Focus, Phen, I sent to him. 

 Once he’d stopped struggling, I dispatched another message. 

 Follow us. 

 I took the lead, dropping through air traffic without my array’s help. The visceral fear that I always felt this high up had become an irritant in my head rather than something debilitating, but with too many drops completed over the years, the ecstasy I’d once felt while doing this had faded as well. 

 Even still, I’d admit that soaring through Xygek was quite beautiful. I fell between towers, and only the sheer impressiveness of the city kept me from getting bored.  

 Or maybe that was because I’d distanced myself from emotions like boredom. Or I could have unconsciously regulated my hormones. 

 I couldn’t tell what had turned me so numb. When it came to this drop, though, my only wish was that Pheniks got a taste of the joy that I’d once had, even as I worried that he’d only let panic and anger rule him. 

 Once I’d landed, I scanned the park while my P.I.G. retreated to its attachment points, and when my siblings reached the ground, Pheniks leaned on his knees, panting, which made me wince. 

 But then, he sprang upright, shaking his fists in front of his face with twinkling eyes. 

 “That. was. awesome!” he shouted. “I never want to do it again, but fuck! That rush!” 

 Twirling in place, he collapsed with his chest heaving, and hugging my elbows, I let warmth swirl in me before catching Feena’s gaze and glancing down. In half a minute, all of us were lying in the grass, making a three-pointed star with our heads at its center. For a while, we enjoyed the silence, but it couldn’t last. 

 “So, what was that about?” Pheniks asked. “Or was it just to make me lose sleep before my House naming?” 

 And the floor was unintentionally given to me. 

 Ever since evushk had asked if I wanted to attend Pheniks’ House naming ceremony, I’d known this might happen, and I’d given serious thought to what I’d say, but after our little tradition—after seeing how Pheniks had handled it—everything I’d considered had become useless. I needed time to gather my thoughts, so I provided him with a distraction. 

 “We’ll get to that in a moment. Let me catch my breath,” I said. “In the meantime, here’s my House naming gift to you. You may ask me one question about what my life has been like for the last six years, and I will answer it as honestly and with as many details as I can.” 

 I knew he must be curious about that. Pheniks had always loved learning about anything that he found unusual, which he probably perceived my new life to be. 

 My siblings gained enough height to peer down at me. 

 “Really?” Pheniks asked. “Isn’t your stuff super confidential?” 

 “It can be,” I said. “So, I suggest that you avoid asking about my missions.” 

 Pheniks looked thoughtful, staring at something in the distance. 

 “What’s it like?” he eventually asked. “Being who you are, I mean. When you’re not off saving Lutov, do you see many people, and how do they treat you? Do you like it?” 

 He’d asked much more than one question, but since they all ran in the same vein, I let it go. 

 “When we have no missions, evushk and I mostly keep to ourselves on his estate,” I said, “although if we need to get out, we might hike to Lake Phiabe.” 

 “Wait. Lake Phiabe?” Pheniks interrupted. “In the Southern Fells? Why would the Lokke Vitras live in that wet, miserable region of Lutov?” 

 I snorted. Of course Pheniks would agree with the most commonly held opinion of the place that had become my home. 

 “I like it. There’s something… lonely about the land, something that calls to us both,” I said before pausing. “Anyway, I don’t often see other people because evushk keeps me away from social events. For now, not many Lutovish know about my identity, and we want it to stay that way for as long as possible. 

 “During the few times I’ve been in public with him, people don’t do much more than stare, but of course they do. What else would a citizen do in the presence of the legendary Lokke Vitras? 

 “I’ve always found that attention… interesting. The operative in me hates it but other parts…” 

 Shrugging, I fell silent. I didn’t know if I could share anything else, but Pheniks seemed satisfied with my answer. 

 Cocking his head, he said, “You’re lonely? That’s unusual for you. Are you not seeing someone? Or some ones, I guess.” 

 I blinked. Out of everything I’d said, he’d fixated on that topic? He’d asked the most dangerous question that he could of me right now. 

 “You’re right,” I cautiously said. “It is unusual for me.” 

 “So, you are seeing-?” 

 “Don’t ask it, Phen,” I said. 

 “But I just-” 

 Spinning to my knees, I towered over my brother. He didn’t know what he was asking, didn’t know how if even a breath of it reached my enemies’ ears, it could see me killed, but it didn’t matter. I had to squash Pheniks’ curiosity before he escalated this. 

 So, I pretended like he’d hit a nerve. Clenching my hands into fists, I bared my teeth. 

 “Don’t ask,” I snarled. 

 The smallest spark of fear sprang to life in him, which I hated seeing, but what else was I supposed to do? Let him know something so life threatening? 

 Feena carefully circled my wrist with her fingers. 

 “He only wants to know if you’re happy,” she said. 

 Happy? What did happiness have to do with anything? 

 Relaxing, I sat cross-legged between my siblings, rubbing my eyes. 

 “Sorry,” I said. “That’s a sore subject for me.” 

 “I can tell,” Pheniks said with a nervous laugh. “Feena’s right, though. I only want to know if you’re ok. So, are you?” 

 That was a question I’d never thought to ask myself, so I took a moment to ponder it now, even with Feena and Pheniks shifting beside me. 

 “Sometimes, I am. Sometimes, I’m not,” I said with a shrug. “The same as all humans.” 

 “But overall?” Feena asked. 

 Damn, they wouldn’t stop poking at this would they? 

 I lowered my gaze from my siblings’ faces, watching as I dug my fingernails into my palm. 

 “Sacrifice self. It’s the first part of the Lokke Vitras mantra. Whether or not I’m happy has no bearing because I do not matter. I’m a tool and a shield for Lutov with my identity drowned in my role, and tools don’t have feelings,” I said. “I’m not the Lokke Vitras yet, though, so I suppose I should answer your question, but the honest truth is…” 

 As I slowly released a breath, I uncurled my fingers, and through the hair falling into my eyes, I looked up at my siblings. 

 “I don’t know,” I said. 

 For a moment, they couldn’t move from the horrified statues that they’d become, and I couldn’t speak to comfort them. 

 When I’d broken free of what had frozen me, though, I said, “Don’t look so glum. I’m alive and well enough. What else matters? Let’s set this depressing subject aside. I’ve caught my breath. Phen, you wanted to know the reason for our little tradition?” 

 “But… Zae!” Pheniks sputtered. 

 I shook my head to stop further protests. 

 “Tonight is supposed to be about you,” I said. “I’m sorry I dragged attention to myself, even if unintentionally. My problems will be here next week, but you’re about to go through your House naming, something that will only happen once in your life. So, please. Let us make you our focus.” 

 Pheniks glanced at Feena, and she nodded at him with a smile, but her fierce grip on my knee told me we weren’t done with this conversation. For a time, I’d have to avoid her, then, but that should be easy enough. I’d been doing it for the last six years. 

 “Ok, then,” Pheniks said. “What’s with the climbing and falling?” 

 “For a while, I think it was just a spot of fun, something to relieve tension before an incredibly serious event,” I said, “but Feena and I started a new tradition during my House naming, one where she told me something that I needed to hear, and now, it’s my turn to do the same for you.” 

 Pheniks had drawn away from me, perhaps afraid of what I’d say, but he should be. No one liked hearing the truth, especially about themselves. 

 “Hit me,” he said with a quavering voice. 

 I faced my brother, clasping my hands in my lap. 

 “Pheniks, you have one of the most brilliant minds I’ve come across,” I said. “You solve problems in ways that no one else could conceive of and make connections that no one else would. You are the mind that overshadows our family’s martial skill and—” 

 Leaning forward, I rested my hands on his shoulders. 

 “—you would be wasted in House Kolb.” 

 While his face drained of color, Pheniks worked his jaw, trying to speak, and I waited for him to decide how he’d respond. 

 “I’m capable enough for Kolb,” he said. 

 Nodding, I dropped my hands back into my lap. 

 “You are. You’d probably make it to Fifth or Sixth Stratus in that House,” I said, “but you wouldn’t be happy.” 

 “You just said happiness doesn’t matter,” Pheniks snapped. 

 “For me, little brother,” I said. “For you, it is everything.” 

 “But- but-” 

 Seizing his arms, I forced him to meet my eyes. 

 “Listen to me,” I said. “Your family will always love you. Your family will support the decisions you make. Your family will be proud of you, no matter which House you choose.” 

 “But… Kolb is…” 

 Pheniks slid his gaze off of me. 

 “No matter which House, Phen,” Feena echoed at my side. 

 I tightened my grip on his arms, and he winced, but I couldn’t loosen my fingers. This was too important. He had to know. He had to have what I’d never received. 

 “Tomorrow, you will make a decision that will be yours and yours alone,” I said. “Don’t let anything, not family, not so-called obligations, not…” 

 In my mind’s eye, doors banged open, and the Lokke Vitras came to claim me. 

 “Nothing should influence you. Choose the House that will make you happy, and fuck everything else. Do. you. understand. me?” 

 “I do, Zae. Let me- Ow! Let me go, please.” 

 Jumping, I returned to the present, where my brother was grimacing and I was clawing into his arms. When I released him, he rubbed where I’d been holding him, and I knew I’d left fingermarks behind. 

 “Sorry,” I said. “Seems all I can do is apologize tonight.” 

 With a faint smile, Pheniks leaned forward to cuff the back of my head. 

 “Stop it,” he said. “You only wanted to make sure I was listening, and I was. You told me what I needed to hear. Thank you. Really, Zae. I was worried that I’d get abandoned if I strayed from the family’s House.” 

 “Never,” I said. 

 “And thus, the tradition continues,” Feena grumbled through a yawn. “You done?” 

 Why was she so abruptly asking-? 

 Oh. Duh. They were probably exhausted. 

 “Will you get Phen home?” I asked. “He needs to be somewhat rested before tomorrow, yes?” 

 “What about you?” Feena said. 

 Mother Time, it was cute that she’d worry about me like that. Leaning back on my hands, I smirked at her. 

 “I’ll be all right,” I said. “I’m going to take a walk. Clear my head after… everything.” 

 I waved overhead, and after a long, piercing stare, Feena nodded. 

 “Come on, Phen,” she said, climbing to her feet. “Our P.I.G.s won’t have enough juice to get us to our tier, so we’ll have to use lifts and plasma bridges.” 

 “Like regular people?” Pheniks gasped in mock horror. “How dare you suggest such a thing!” 

 He accepted Feena’s help up, and together, they looked down at me. 

 “We’ll see you tomorrow?” Pheniks asked. 

 “Unless something comes up, yes,” I said. “Good night, my wonderful siblings.” 

 They mumbled their own farewells, and I watched them stroll across the park. As expected, they started chatting once they were out of a normal person’s hearing range. 

 “I’m worried about him,” Pheniks said. 

 “So am I,” Feena said, “but this is Zaeden we’re talking about. He’ll be fine eventually, right?” 

 “Maybe. You know he’s always been a little more… blasé when it comes to things that are hurting him,” Pheniks said. “He did a good job tonight, though. Tomorrow doesn’t seem so bad now.” 

 “I’m glad to hear it,” Feena said, hugging him from the side. “What, no words of praise for my performance?” 

 “I was… You…” 

 Pheniks’ sputtering voice quickly fell into an indistinguishable murmur. 

 For a while, I didn’t move, keeping my eyes centered on where they’d disappeared while trying to get a handle on everything that this long day had created in me. My motionlessness wasn’t helping with those efforts, though, setting my knee jittering against the ground, so eventually, I stood, stretching, and restlessness pushed me into the city. 

 TTS Chapter Twenty-Six

Chapter 27: Or Maybe a Decent Partner 1
Xygek’s ground level was reserved for the middle Strata: Sixth through Eighth. Most people in those Strata weren’t afforded the luxury of a skycruiser, and while walking and taking shuttles were easy modes of transit in the city, they weren’t the fastest. 

 On the other hand, the cycles that most middle Strata owned could zip around city blocks like their flying cousins, but only if they had enough room to do so, something they wouldn’t find in the crowded tiers above. Ground level, however, offered space aplenty. 

 Ground level also had easy access to Lake Voxmore and the many cabanas that lined its south-eastern shore. In addition, decent clumps of nature blocked out the towers here. While the city might be impressive, looking at nothing but metal, day after day, gradually dampened the spirit, and the greenery found here helped to alleviate that. 

 Meanwhile, the middle chunk of the city’s tiers was relegated to the low Strata: Ninth through Twelfth, and people who’d been stripped of House. Since cycles didn’t have room to maneuver there, getting anywhere took much longer than on ground level or the upper city, and although those tiers did have parks, they weren’t as plentiful or large. 

 And of course, the high Strata claimed the heights. 

 Honestly, there wasn’t much difference between the tiers. They were all lovely in their own way. Ground level and the upper tiers just had a few additional benefits, small rewards given to those who had the aptitude or work ethic needed to advance in Strata. 

 Everyone in Lutov, even those who’d been stripped of House, was cared for. Everyone was given what they needed to live comfortably. 

 Well. Everyone but the exiled, people whose crimes were great enough to have their citizenship revoked or who wouldn’t advance Lutovish society in one way or another. Like, for instance, a boy who might refuse to choose a House. 

 Absently strolling along ground level’s pathways, I dodged the people meandering down the streets at this midnight hour, digesting the day’s events. My homecoming had been a whirlwind with a surprise around every corner, and I’d anticipated none of it. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d had to bend and stretch my behavior so much because my targets hadn’t behaved as expected. I didn’t like the sensation. 

 Of course, today’s targets hadn’t actually been targets but my family, and I’d gone into the situation unprepared, having done no research and chosen no persona because of who they were. I hadn’t thought six years could change the family dynamic. I hadn’t thought I’d need to use a persona with them. 

 I still wasn’t sure if showing them the real me had been the right thing to do. I wasn’t sure what I should do tomorrow. 

 So, I wrote a message. 

 That went well. I think, it read. 

 I sent it at the lowest of priorities in case evushk was asleep. There was no need to wake him up over my dilemma, although he probably wouldn’t mind if I did. 

 While I waited for a reply, I stopped at a street-facing shop that was closing for the night. The vendor gave me the last of her meat pockets, and as I thanked her, waving farewell, I wondered which House she belonged to. 

 People who didn’t fit into the Houses’ specialties were, in essence, turned over to the community for its use, and said community decided how these people could best fill the many jobs that the Houses didn’t govern. But these misfits still claimed a House, any of them except for Kolb. 

 Then again, the other Houses weren’t like Kolb. With that House, one’s Stratus determined one’s job, ensuring missions were completed by someone who could do them. 

 The other Houses let their members choose how they’d work to benefit Lutov. Stratus merely determined the amount of House-specific information that a member had access to. Yes, the hard working and talented were usually the ones who held a higher Stratus level, but those same high Stratus members might work the most menial of jobs. 

 With Kolb, though, a member could refuse elevation to a higher Stratus, a member could hop about Lutov as much as they damn well pleased, and a member could refuse assigned missions, although that freedom got taken away the further one was elevated. House Kolb members had the most say in their lives, if not their jobs. 

 Unless one was high Stratus. 

 A message blinked into my array, and I swept it into center-field. 

 It did go well. I saw everything. I’m happy for you, kuvesk. 

 On reading that, my step faltered. Everything? He hadn’t monitored me that extensively since my first year with him. Had he been worried I’d say something that I shouldn’t? 

 Did I share too much? I didn’t know what else to say. 

 After sending that message, I took a bite of my meat pocket. It had gone cold, but even still, I devoured the rest. The taste of it came nowhere close to evushk’s cooking, but there was something about city food that couldn’t be replicated. 

 Besides, I’d had much worse fare than this before. 

 The reply to my message came in. 

 No, you gave out exactly as much information as you should have. I wish you hadn’t needed to share anything about me or your training, but I knew it might happen when I sent you to Xygek. I also knew you wouldn’t share more than you must. 

 Frowning, I deposited my waste into a recycler before shoving my hands in my pockets. If he’d thought I could keep my mouth shut, then why had he been watching me today? He had to know I could have gotten away from my family, if the situation had taken a turn for the worse. So, why…? 

 I stumbled when a theory hit me. 

 Evushk, you offered me the apartment to use if needed. You did it so readily that I’m curious if before I left home, you thought I might need it. Were you worried about ME today and how I’d handle my family’s possible rejection? 

 I chuckled as I sent the message. He probably wouldn’t appreciate my snark this late at night, but I couldn’t help myself. The idea was ridiculous, after all. In the six years that I’d known evushk, I’d never seen him show emotion except… except when it didn’t matter. 

 Purple light splashed over me, and I breathed in the night air. I was glad it was late. When getting ready for tonight’s activities, I’d changed into something more comfortable, an outfit that wouldn’t blend well with Xygek’s colorful crowds. Feena and Pheniks hadn’t commented on it, probably assuming it was stealth garb, but if it had been any earlier in the day, strangers would be staring at me right now. 

 It might have taken me months, but after evushk had whisked me away from my life, I’d gradually stopped using my persona around him, including how much it had striven to match Lutov’s fashion trends. My attire had switched to a black palette like his, if a little more body conforming. 

 He’d asked me once if I was mimicking him. That had been the first and only time I’d laughed at something he hadn’t said in jest. 

 I just liked black. It looked good on me, accenting every feature, and didn’t make my eyes hurt like bright colors did sometimes. I was comfortable in my lack of hue, so black was what I wore. 

 As I walked into the light of another shop’s neon sign, its red color washed over my wrists with a black cuff bordering it, and I flashed to a scene where I’d held my blood-soaked hands in front of my face, having failed to save someone evushk had wounded. My lungs filled with acid, and quickening my step, I hurried out from under the sign, even if the image it had invoked didn’t relent in its invasion of my mind. 

 A message’s arrival saved me from a silently shrieking descent into self-loathing. 

 Breaking away from family is one of the last steps in a potential Lokke Vitras’ training. While it wasn’t the only reason why I sent you to the capital, I still knew that yours might abandon you with this visit, so I had the apartment ready, just in case.  

 Ah. That made much more sense than what I’d been thinking, although it had taken him long enough to send a reply. I took just as long with mine, considering how to phrase it while meandering into an open space with no towers overhead. 

 You think they’ll distance themselves? My siblings didn’t seem inclined to do so. 

 Unsure if I’d want to read his answer when it arrived, I focused on the world beyond my array once more. 

 “Huh.” 

 I was standing in the center of the city with no idea of how I’d gotten there. Acceptance Arena lay somewhere in the park at my back, and the Houses’ headquarters rose on all sides, but the one I was facing confused me. 

 Cerullis. Why would my unconscious feet have brought me to the seat of power for Kolb’s most antagonistic sibling? 

 Slowly, I lifted my head, inspecting the building. It rose so high into the air that I momentarily wobbled while seeking the top. From the base, concrete covered its lower floors, tapering into a tower’s typical glass walls a fourth of the way up. Why had Cerullis kept an old-fashioned façade at the base of their headquarters? 

 Shaking my head, I skipped over windows and the illumination behind them, looking for the definitive mark of every House’s headquarters in Xygek. There. In the glow of the city’s light, gold glinted where rings of it were embedded in the building. 

 For how many times I’d visited Xygek, one would think I’d have seen this tower by now, but when I was in the city’s center, I was usually headed for House Kolb’s headquarters on the other side of the park, at least a kilometer away. Seeing it for the first time, I wasn’t surprised to learn that Cerullis’ tower wasn’t much different from the others across the city, just like its members were the same as any other Lutovish. I didn’t understand why Kolb was so gung-ho about hating- 

 A message sprang into my array right as someone jostled me hard enough that I had to spin to stay on my feet. Setting my stance, I got ready to draw a weapon if needed, but only babble greeted me from my accoster. 

 “Oh, hell. I’m sorry! I got lost in reviewing my presentation for tomorrow. I didn’t see you!” 

 I knew that voice. 

 Its owner got to his feet with many a wince while loose strands of blonde hair fell out of their knot at the back of his neck, and once he’d recovered enough that his purple eyes landed on me, my mouth went a little dry, but mostly, I was internally groaning. I couldn’t handle another emotional reunion today. 

 He froze halfway through brushing himself off, and I waited for him to make the first move. 

 “Zaeden?” he breathed. 

 He’d sounded… how had he sounded? 

 “Hey, Fyester,” I said. “How’ve you been?” 

 Taking a step toward me, Fyester hesitantly lifted a hand, which made me tense, but he only brushed my cheek like he couldn’t believe I was real. 

 “You’re ok,” he said. 

 Oh. I could work with this. 

 Evushk’s message, crowding into my view, got pushed into my unread pile. I’d get to it as soon as I was done here. 

 “You look good, Fy,” I said. 

 He was exactly as I remembered him, if with longer hair and worry lines around his eyes. Why hadn’t he gotten those smoothed out? 

 “So do you,” Fyester said. 

 Pushing me away, he ran his eyes over me. 

 “Damn, Zae, how did you get even more-?” 

 When he flushed, I grinned. 

 “Hazard of what I do,” I said. 

 Slumping a little, Fyester said, “Oh. Is that… why you’re here?” 

 Shit. Would people always be this suspicious of my intentions? 

 “No. I was out walking. Couldn’t sleep and my feet took me here,” I said. 

 “Ah.” 

 With Fyester shifting in place, the quiet between us rapidly plunged into awkward territory, but I didn’t know how to remedy that. I couldn’t spend any time with him outside of an inelegant hello, not with so much unresolved drama lying between us. 

 I should head for my parents’ apartment. I should not take this further. 

 Did I dare do it anyway? 

 “Look,” I hesitantly said. “Why don’t you get a drink with me? We can catch up.” 

 Fyester frowned. 

 “I don’t know,” he said. “Are any bars open this late?” 

 He wrinkled his nose in that endearing way that once told me he was concentrating on solving a problem, and I caught myself smiling. I smothered the expression as soon as I’d noticed it. 

 “One is. I know its lovely owner, so I usually get her best stuff,” I said, “but if you’d rather go home, I’ll understand. I’m sure you need your sleep.” 

 I wouldn’t need to find my own bed for a while yet. After years where I’d gotten little of it, sleeping for more than four or five hours at once felt strange. I usually caught what else I might need in patches throughout the day. 

 “I can come in late tomorrow,” Fyester said. “Mother Time, I haven’t seen you for years, and we happen to run into one another? I’m not letting this opportunity go.” 

 With a half-smile, I said, “All right, then. Follow me. The place isn’t far.” 

 TTS Chapter Twenty-Seven

Chapter 28: Or Maybe a Decent Partner 2
I hurried us toward the closest public lift, half-hoping that Fyester would slip away while my back was turned. With so many sensitive topics to avoid, our coming conversation would be like walking through a minefield, and I wasn’t sure if it would be worth it. 

 Once we were on the right tier, it was a short walk to the bar. Before we headed inside, I held Fyester back while my array projected a simulation of the place’s interior for me, using heat signatures and other cues to form it. Once it was done, I only saw Rane, taking stock behind the bar, inside, and she wouldn’t mind if I didn’t provide her with Fyester’s name or House. 

 Because there was something that I’d forgotten to tell him. This place was established House Kolb territory, where its members could get a drink after a hard day. 

 I didn’t think Fyester would appreciate patronizing such a place, and if they’d been here, Rane’s typical customers would have exuded nothing but hostility at him while we'd shared the same space as them. How fortunate that they were gone. 

 When we stepped inside, Rane tensed, but once she saw me, she smiled, dropping what she was holding to reach for a tumbler. 

 “Hi there, Zae,” she said. “Will you have your usual?” 

 “Please,” I said. “And a…?” 

 I lifted my eyebrows at Fyester. 

 “Surprise me,” he said. 

 He was moving his head on a swivel to take in the bar, and I wondered what had him so fascinated. This place was a typical hole in the wall, dark and cramped, and while it wasn’t filthy, it wasn’t spotlessly clean either. 

 The only thing that made it different from other bars was the arrangement of the seating in it. The set up allowed for easy defense of the place in case of a hostile breach, all while keeping escape routes open, but someone from any House but Kolb shouldn’t notice this. 

 “Any special requests?” Rane asked. 

 “Not tonight,” I said. “We’ll be in my usual corner.” 

 She nodded, and I led Fyester to a table near the back door, subtly arranging him so he’d be behind cover if I needed to flip the table. 

 “Special requests?” Fyester asked as I sat. 

 “I’m not always in the best of moods when I come here, sometimes needing to get wasted because of it,” I said. “When that happens, Rane lets me drink in her office. It’s the only place that’s secure enough for me to feel safe while deliberately losing my edge.” 

 Besides home, of course, but evushk did not encourage drinking. 

 “Ah,” Fyester said. “Does she know, then?” 

 Rounding on him, I stared until he started squirming. 

 “Know what, Fy?” I said in a dead voice. 

 Swallowing, he said, “That you’re…” 

 He waved a hand over me. 

 “You are, right?” he said. “The Lokke Vitras came to our House naming ceremony and pulled you out of it. What else could that have-?” 

 Under the table, I squeezed Fyester’s leg, and he, fortunately, shut up right as Rane stopped at the table with our drinks in her hand. 

 “Let me know if you need anything else,” she said. “I’ve set the sound filter around this table to its highest setting, so if you want my attention, you’ll have to wave.” 

 “Thank you, Rane,” I said. “As usual, you anticipate anything that I might need.” 

 “Of course I do. I’m the best barkeep in Xygek,” she said. 

 With a sniff, Rane returned to stocking her bar, and I removed my hand from Fyester’s leg. 

 “She doesn’t know, thinks I’m someone high enough Stratus to keep my status hidden,” I said, “and I want it to stay that way.” 

 I twisted toward Fyester. 

 “You don’t know either. Do you understand me?” 

 “That you want it kept a secret? Sure!” Fyester chirped. “I can do that.” 

 Taking a sip of his drink, he made a face. 

 “Ugh. This is awful,” he said. “I love it!” 

 He downed half of it in one go, and smiling, I tasted my whiskey sour. Same old Fyester. Cheery and eager to please. 

 “So? You never answered my question,” I said. “How’ve you been?” 

 “Oh, wonderful! It was a little rough after our House naming ceremony because I was… you know.” 

 When Fyester looked away from me, my chest tightened. 

 “It affected my placement,” he said, “but I was quickly elevated. Just hit Sixth Stratus.” 

 “Congratulations,” I said over my tumbler’s rim. “You deserve that and more.” 

 Reddening, Fyester said, “Thanks. How’ve you been?” 

 Stressed. Beat all to hell more than I’d like. Exhausted in body and spark of soul nearly all of the time with blips of happiness at home all that kept me going sometimes. So jumbled in personas that sometimes I forgot who I was. Constantly on the move, in danger, or deep cover. 

 “Busy,” I said. 

 Something on my face must have betrayed what I’d retained because Fyester’s smile followed his gaze down to the table. 

 “Oh,” he said. 

 Quickly finishing his drink, he waved to get Rane’s attention, indicating that he wanted another of what she’d made for him, and she hastened to comply. We sat in tense silence until she finished, or that was how it seemed to me, at least. Fyester looked lost in thought, spinning his empty glass between his hands. 

 Rane must have sensed the mood because after placing a second drink on the table, she folded her hands in front of her. 

 “For you?” she quietly asked. 

 “I’m good for now, thanks,” I said. 

 Evushk might have gotten me drunk enough times now that I knew how to keep my mouth shut while in that compromised state, but I still liked to pace myself. It was easier to stay out of trouble if my drinking partner was further into their cups than me. 

 Watching Rane leave us, Fyester asked, “Are you sure she doesn’t know? You’ve told her you’re high Stratus, and you’re dressed all in black, like-” 

 “Rane sees plenty of people dressed like me every day,” I said. ‘Besides, I’m not usually wearing something like this in public. Can’t afford the attention.” 

 Sighing, Fyester leaned on the tabletop with his chin in his hands while his eyes ate me up. 

 “That’s too bad,” he said. “You look good in it.” 

 Heat rose in my cheeks. 

 “Thanks,” I mumbled, so unintelligibly that I barely understood it. 

 Springing upright, Fyester covered his mouth in mock shock. 

 “Mother Time help us. Zaeden’s gotten shy,” he gasped. “What other strange and unusual phenomena might we discover tonight?” 

 Almost beneath my awareness, I lashed out, lightly punching his shoulder. 

 “Shut up, asshole,” I said. 

 “There we go. Much better,” Fyester said, settling into his seat. “You aren’t so tense that you look like you’ll break.” 

 Wait. Had he just manipulated me? I might be more wary of him after such a skillful display if I weren’t so impressed. 

 “So, why are you in the city?” Fyester said. “It can’t be just to see me.” 

 “No, although perhaps I should have visited you before now,” I said. “I’m sorry I never let you know that I was alive at least.” 

 Raising a hand, Fyester shook his head. 

 “I knew I’d probably seen the last of you at our House naming ceremony,” he said. “It hurt, but it wasn’t your fault. At all.” 

 “Still-” 

 “Zae…” Fyester groaned. “I don’t want your apology. Answer my damn question.” 

 He might not want it, but did he know how badly I needed to apologize? In some ways, losing my partners had almost been as bad as my enforced distance from my family. I didn’t like to think about how many people I might have hurt by vanishing into thin air. I hoped I hadn’t been as big of an influence on their lives as I’d thought, that they’d shrugged my absence off and moved on, but I wasn’t naïve enough to think that I hadn’t hurt anyone. I’d missed them over the years, after all. 

 If Fyester didn’t want to listen to my regrets, though, I wouldn’t make him. I took another sip of my drink. 

 “I’m here for my brother’s House naming ceremony tomorrow,” I said. 

 Fyester went still, giving me the impression of someone who’d been struck by the first pangs of grief, and I narrowed my eyes. I knew the look he was wearing. I’d seen it in the mirror often enough after I’d had to make a horrible choice. 

 Why was I seeing it on him? Should I be worried, raising my threat level-? 

 “Pheniks is going through his House naming? Your scrawny, kid brother,” Fyester said. “Damn, we’re getting old.” 

 He shuddered, and I laughed. What the hell had I been getting paranoid over? This was Fyester. 

 “We haven’t even hit the one century mark, Fy,” I said. 

 “True enough,” Fyester said. “Still, it makes me feel old. Seems like yesterday that Pheniks was quizzing me about what my parents do for Cerullis. Made me quite uncomfortable.” 

 “Phen’s always been oblivious about people’s… anything, really,” I said. “It’s why he’s never kept a partner for long.” 

 “Here’s hoping he does well in the future that he chooses for himself,” Fyester said. 

 “Was that a toast?” I said. “I think it was.” 

 I lifted my tumbler toward him, and making a face, he tapped his glass against it before tipping his drink back with me. 

 While Rane brought us another round, I considered whether I should pry into a subject that I badly wanted to discuss. I had no right to ask Fyester about it, shouldn’t have considered it in the first place, but I opened my mouth anyway. 

 “Speaking of Phen and his trouble with women,” I said, playing with my tumbler, “how have you done in that arena? Are you seeing anyone?” 

 Fyester didn't seem the least bit bothered by my choice of subject. 

 “I didn’t do so well for a while after you left, but I got back on my feet soon enough,” he said. “Went through a slew of partners until I found one who suits me. He and I have been seeing each other for a couple of years now, moved in together last month, actually. I still date other people on occasion, but while Jastin doesn’t understand polyamory for himself, he’s supportive of it, so long as I keep myself safe. It’s been quite nice. I think I love him, Zae.” 

 He made a face. 

 “I haven’t told him yet, though.” 

 My fingers ceased their fiddling while melancholy quirked a smile, of all things, out of me. 

 “You should,” I said. “Who knows what the future will hold?” 

 “Yeah, I know,” Fyester said with a sigh. 

 He slumped onto the tabletop with his arms crossed. 

 “For what it’s worth, I’m happy for you,” I said. “I’m glad you’ve found someone to love.” 

 Fyester looked up at me from where he was resting his chin on his arms. 

 “What about you?” he asked. “Do you have anyone special in your life?” 

 Unlike with Pheniks, I had no problem with misleading Fyester, when it came to this subject at least. 

 “I’ve been too busy for dating. The free time that I get is spent recovering from injuries, sleeping, or relaxing, if I’m lucky. Besides, I don’t have many prospects where I live.” 

 Snapping his eyes to slits, Fyester said, “Are you telling me that you haven’t gotten laid in six years? You? Really?” 

 This lie was much harder to speak than the first one had been. 

 Turning to the side, I said, “Besides for missions? No.” 

 A chair scraped across the floor, and when I jerked toward the noise, Fyester had scooted closer to me. He faced me with a grin, leaning his arm and head on my shoulder. 

 “Well, we’ll just have to fix that,” he said. 

 Beneath the table, he slipped his hand under my clothes, and my thoughts piled on themselves, even as I assessed for any danger around us if he continued. This had advanced much more quickly than I’d thought possible. 

 “Come home with me,” Fyester said. 

 Oh, thank Mother Time. That location would be much more secure. 

 These hazy thoughts swam through my mind, even as I gave the only acceptable answer to his suggestion. 

 “Ok.” 

 Rane smirked as we raced out of her bar, probably grateful for the opportunity to lock up, and I barely had enough time to wave at her before we were out the door. Tugging me along, Fyester only stopped for an occasional kiss, as if he was trying to hold my interest, but he didn’t need to worry about that. He’d thoroughly captured it. 

 When we burst into his apartment, a thought froze me solid. 

 “What about your partner?” I asked. “Will he be-?” 

 Tugging me inside with enough force that it sent me stumbling, Fyester pushed me up against a wall, which was surprising. He wasn’t usually so forward. 

 “I already sent Jastin a message about my plans,” he said between kisses. “He’s visiting his family right now. Lucky us.” 

 Ok. One issue addressed, and fuck, I couldn’t focus, but I had something… something… 

 Holy shit, I’d forgotten how good Fyester was at kissing. 

 Taking his shoulders, I pried him off of me to catch my breath. 

 “Are you sure about this?” I asked. “After… everything, I didn’t think you’d want to speak to me, much less-” 

 Fyester rested a palm on my cheek. 

 “Zae,” he said. “Please, shut up.” 

 My teeth clicked together, and chuckling, Fyester strolled deeper into his apartment, crooking a finger for me to follow. We passed through a rather nice living area, a bit cramped but luxurious, and I absently mapped escape routes out of it while watching the way Fyester moved in the low light. 

 When we reached the bedroom, I caught a glimpse of a rumpled quilt and far too many pillows before Fyester pulled me to him. His kiss was slow this time, low-burning, as if he was extracting as much from it and me as he could. 

 I could relate. Every slide of my hands along his skin was like running them over hot coals. 

 Clothes came off, piece by piece, and I took a moment to admire Fyester’s body, letting the warmth in me build before stepping in with the intent to kiss him again, but he pushed a finger to my lips, guiding me to a seat on the bed. He climbed on top of me, and only then did he let me do as I’d wanted, leading me along in this dance. 

 It was an unusual position for me. I didn’t typically follow, and I was usually much more… animated than this, but I didn’t mind the change. It was interesting. New. 

 Plus, it was pretty difficult to protest when Fyester wrapped himself around me with his arms tucked under mine, his fingers curling in my hair, and every bit of skin touching. I couldn’t protest when he fucking kissed me, exactly the way I remembered. When tongues made it hard to breathe. When I ground into him and he wriggled back. 

 “I missed you,” I said against his lips. 

 A shiver rattled through him. 

 “I missed you too,” he said. 

 If that was true, why had he sounded so sad? 

 But when he lowered me to the bed with his face flushed and pupils eating his eyes, I forgot fleeting concerns. Keeping his lips on me, he snaked his hand between us. He did every little thing that only time with a partner could teach, the knowing that was almost as good as learning someone new. I tried to do the same, but before I could rake my fingernails down his back, as he liked, something stung my neck. 

 Ice cold water doused the raging wildfire in me. 

 I knew that sensation. A shrieking part of me knew what it meant. 

 TTS Chapter Twenty-Eight

Chapter 29: Or Maybe a Decent Partner 3
Bucking Fyester to the side, I scrambled away from him until a headboard and wall stopped me, setting my array to work. I observed him at the foot of the bed with an empty hypo on the quilt between us, and everything—room, heart and mind—went dead quiet. 

 “What did you do, Fy?” I spoke into this hush. 

 But with the room taking on a sway as it blurred in and out of focus, I already knew. 

 As Fyester crawled toward me, his face was pinched with such worry and pain that it might have twisted my heart if I hadn’t been trapped in a numbing freeze. If I hadn’t been impatiently awaiting a report on what type of sedative he’d given me and how long my array would need to flush it out of my system. 

 “Please,” Fyester said. “Please, just go to sleep. When I’m allowed to wake you up, everything will be ok again, and maybe they’ll stop hurting me-ngh!” 

 He flopped onto the bed, and I tried creeping toward its side, but when I moved, the world spun so quickly that I nearly blacked out while my stomach revolted. When I could focus again, Fyester had crawled through my vomit to reach me with another hypo in his hand. 

 Seizing his wrist, I twisted it, but no matter how much pressure I applied, he wouldn’t drop the hypo, even as he screamed, slapping at me. I relented, mostly because the last ten seconds had almost sent me under, but still, Fyester wept, thanking me over and over again. 

 Something about this wasn’t right, more than the fact that he’d drugged me. I might not trust myself to claw the hypo away from Fyester yet, but maybe I could figure out what the fuck was going on. 

 “Why?” I asked, hearing the question from far away. “Did someone set you up to do this? Are you trying to sabotage the Lokke Vitras by debilitating his replacement? How did you know that I’d stop outside of Cerullis’ headquarters tonight when even I didn’t?” 

 “I can’t, Zae. I can’t,” Fyester gasped. “Please, let me- let me- Oh, Mother Time, I’m so sorry. If I say something, they’ll hurt-ngh!” 

 He went slack on me, jerking my hold on his arm so that I was on top of him. I used this momentum to roll over the foot of the bed, but with dizziness altering my field of view, I messed up my jump to my feet. 

 Teetering, I stumbled a few steps, driving my hip into a hard edge, before toppling. Glass shattered with shards of it digging into me as I slid down something solid, but when the fuzz around me cleared away, nothing visible was stopping me from a quarter-kilometer-long drop. 

 My saving grace was a barrier around the tower, like what I’d used on our last date, but instead of him, I’d driven myself into the window this time. Where had I gained the force needed to break it? 

 Yes, focus on that, not the pain that was ripping my heart to shreds beneath my numbing blanket, tearing into me like the glass in my skin. 

 Something pricked my neck again, but I was prepared for it this time, ripping the hypo out of my body before Fyester could depress its plunger. Flinging it across the room, I drunkenly climbed to my feet, only to have a fist swung into my face. The sharp crunch of my nose pulled a string of words from outside of the sedative’s ringing haze— 

 “-don’t want… don’t make… Please, I don’t want to-” 

 —and something slammed into my temple and gut. Mother Time, not where I’d just- 

 The world stuttered into focus once more while my array politely informed me that it had filtered sixty percent of the toxin in my blood out of it. I sat up, noting the bits of shattered window around me, before getting to my feet, soundlessly this time. 

 The room was swaying and swirling still, but I had enough focus to see Fyester on the other side of the bed, where I’d thrown the hypo. He was rocking in place, muttering to himself, and that noise covered any sound that my stumble toward him might have made. His distraction got me close enough to pull him into a chokehold.  

 I let my mind dive into emptiness while Fyester fought me, clawing at my arm and driving his elbows into my sides. When he eventually slumped into unconsciousness, I got him on the bed before administering the second hypo that he’d meant for me. It should last much longer without his array already working to negate its effects, but I pulled restraints out of my abandoned clothing, just in case, letting their blue glow add to the city light from outside. 

 Once I’d secured him, I rested Fyester’s clothes on top of his limp body before getting dressed as quickly as I could. 

 Because the shielding numbness that I’d raised at the first jab of a needle? It was failing. Sitting on the bed’s edge, I leaned my elbows on my knees with my head in my hands. 

 For a while, I spun what had happened through my mind, trying to decide how I should proceed, but I came up with nothing. So, I sent a message that I hadn’t needed to use in years. 

 Evushk, I need advice. I don’t know what to do. 

 And in final defiance of what was waiting behind my shield, I pulled evushk’s stored message, the one I’d received earlier, to the forefront. 

 They always leave us in the end, it read. Every Lokke Vitras. Every time. We are eventually left alone. 

 My vision trembled, and I thought it was because of the sedative until something wet spilled over my eyelid, splashing to the floor. 

 And another. 

 And another. 

 And my numbness was ripped away from me. 

 In the aftermath of recent violence, my growling scream seemed deafening, and it didn’t stop until I’d run out of air. I wanted to stand, to punch something, to release this agonizing tingle around my heart, but it kept me pinned in place. It slunk its way up my throat, snagging on the base of my brain, and from there, it spread slashing tendrils through my mind, turning the world into a far away, fairy tale place— 

 “Kuvesk, what-?” 

 —shouldn’t I be better at emotional control than this? So many horrible things had happened to me over the last six years. Shouldn’t I have broken like this before now? Damn, even the person I’d been as a child had kept emotions at bay better than the version of me sitting here today— 

 Laughter interrupted the howl that was tearing the air apart, crazed and loud and fractured. 

 —then again, when I’d been a child, I’d never had to deal with anything like this. I didn’t think— 

 “Kuvesk.” 

 —Fyester had attacked me. Attacked me! I’d thought… we could have tonight. I’d thought… maybe we could have more. I’d trusted — 

 “Kuvesk!” 

 —was this what would happen with my family? My parents, Pheniks, and Feena betraying me like… 

 Fuck! Why wouldn’t this pain, searing its way through my body, finish its consumption of me already? 

 “ZAEDEN!” 

 My name, spoken by someone who hadn’t said it in years, cut through the snarl engulfing me, obliterating it in a second. With a gasp, I calmed my frantic sway, stopped my soft moan, and just… listened. 

 “Remember, my kuvesk . Unless you will it, emotion cannot touch you.” 

 That was… right. Of course it couldn’t. I didn’t know why I’d let it. 

 Like a yowling lion cub, I took my pain and set it outside the home of my mind. It might cry to come inside once more, but I’d locked every door tight. I wouldn’t let it near me again, not now at least. 

 Straightening from my knees, I let out a long breath, checking my array. It had burned the sedative out of me, and my bruises had begun to heal as my body did its work. While some of my cuts had closed, I’d have to pick glass out of the rest before they’d do the same. 

 In my array, I had a reply to my earlier message sitting in the top left, and a direct connection had been opened without my permission, something that was only allowed from one person. 

 “Evushk,” I said. 

 Nothing else. Never acknowledge or apologize for a slip-up as bad as mine had been. 

 “Good,” evushk said. “Now, where are you? I can’t find you through the recorders near your array’s reported location.” 

 “I’m in an old partner’s apartment,” I said. 

 A weighty silence fell, one that made me wonder what he was thinking. Was he displeased that I’d so thoroughly compromised myself, or was it something else? 

 “Tell me what happened,” evushk eventually said. 

 I gave him the details he’d need to tell me how I should proceed. 

 At the end, I tacked on, “I don’t think Fyester was in control of himself. He kept mentioning a ‘they’. They’ll hurt me. Might be worth looking into.” 

 “I’ll mention it to whoever hears the boy’s case,” evushk said. “Ensure he’s properly secured and leave. I’ll take care of this.” 

 What a… strange solution. Usually, he made me clean up my messes. 

 “As you say, evushk. It’s only…” 

 Breaking off, I clicked my tongue. 

 “As you never fail to remind me, you are the Lokke Vitras, and your time is valuable. I would never forgive myself if you wasted it by fixing something that I should handle on my own.” 

 “Do you think I’d go out of my way for you if I didn’t think it was warranted?” evushk said. 

 “No,” I sighed. “You never do anything if it doesn’t also benefit Lutov.” 

 A beat of quiet bounced down the connection, followed by- 

 “We both know that’s not true.” 

 Was he trying to cheer me up? If so, I was a little… shocked beyond words, actually. 

 “Go, kuvesk,” he said. “I need you out of that apartment.” 

 “Yes, evushk,” I said, “and thank you.” 

 He cut the connection without replying, never had liked me expressing gratitude to him. 

 I made the mistake of glancing at Fyester before I left. It was cliché as hell, but he looked so peaceful in sleep. I could almost forget the anguished desperation that had carved through those soft features not twenty minutes ago. 

 As I forced myself to turn away from this, I knew I’d likely never see him again. I’d likely never know what would happen to him— evushk certainly wouldn’t tell me—and this bothered me to a degree. 

 Fyester had hurt me tonight, but I nonetheless wished him happiness. Whether he achieved it, however, would remain a mystery to me. 

 When his apartment door closed behind me, I slammed the door shut on him as well. Thinking about him wouldn’t do me any good, and I had something important to attend in the morning. 

 So, fully aware that I was using it as a distraction, I threw myself into final preparations for Pheniks’ House naming ceremony. 

 TTS Chapter Twenty-Nine

Chapter 30: Nope, Neither of Those
Considering what had happened the last time I’d been here, arriving at the Crescent early felt strange, like an off-key note in a song. Other families had had the same idea, trickling in hours before the beginning of the ceremony. They’d socialize in the building’s outer layer, enjoying the refreshments that each House had provided, until the inner layer was opened for seating. 

 I preferred to wait outside, at least until my family had joined me. With less possible hostiles nearby and more room to maneuver here, the steps leading into the Crescent made for a much better position than its interior, and after last night, I needed the comfort of relative security. 

 No matter how much I might wish it were otherwise, images from Fyester’s apartment kept splashing into my mind’s eye. For the most part, I could shunt them to the side before they took up residence in my head, but some stuck around like a splinter under the skin. 

 The look on his face after I’d realized he’d betrayed me. The photo of him with a smiling man that had given me pause before I’d left. How eager he’d seemed when he’d invited me to his home. 

 Had the desire that I’d seen in him been a lie too, a ruse to manipulate me into a moment of vulnerability, and if so, how could I have fallen for it? 

 And why was I dwelling on this? Fyester was no doubt in the hands of his shukusen. Alezand and Talira would decide his fate together. 

 Absently, I pinched my broken nose to yank me out of my thoughts. I’d had to use a blending cream to hide the bruising around it this morning because apparently, my body and array were taking their time with healing this injury. To be fair, I had excessively stressed them over the last week. 

 Getting the rest of my appearance in order hadn’t been difficult, considering that everything I’d needed for it had already been in my room, or most everything had been. I’d had to sneak out of my parents’ home in the early hours of the morning to find formal clothes that would fit me. Since I’d last lived with my family, my body shape had changed more than I’d thought. 

 When at the clothing store, I’d tried to pick something nondescript, but I must not have done a good job of that, given how many odd looks I was receiving. 

 Or maybe that was just my face. 

 With nothing to distract me, I’d been focused on keeping my emotions subsumed rather than on displaying a proper expression for my circumstances. Instead, I appeared as I was when I was relaxed. 

 I’d seen this look in the mirror before. Blank, with nothing present to speak of my humanity, I understood how it might cause the quickly hidden shudders that I’d seen from passersby. 

 I should fix it. 

 Leaning against a pillar, I crossed my arms, tapping a finger against an elbow while bracing my foot on the stone behind me, and donned a mask of boredom. People ignored me once I’d chosen a part to play, and I could return to finding an interesting enough diversion to keep me in the present. 

 Where was my family? This morning, I’d sent out messages, telling them that I’d meet them at Acceptance Arena, and half an hour ago, Feena had responded, letting me know they were on their way. 

 It didn’t take long to travel from my parents’ apartment to this park. Had they run into trouble? 

 A direct connection opened in my array, and for a heartbeat, I thought it was from mom or dad, subsequently wondering why I hadn’t yet revoked their privileges to access it so thoroughly, but when evushk’s voice sounded in my head, I rolled my eyes, mostly at myself. Of course it was him. 

 “I need you to join me outside the city at the provided coordinates,” he said. 

 They popped into my array, and while it calculated the best route to reach him, my heart plummeted into the earth. I ran through reasons why he’d ask this of me now. It couldn’t be because of last night. He didn’t do punishment this way. His discipline was always  constructive. So, why…? 

 I couldn’t exactly ask him that, though. 

 “Of course,” I said. “When do you want me there?” 

 I already knew how he’d answer. I just needed him to say it out loud before I could move. 

 “Now,” he said. 

 Given that, I should straighten from my pillar so I could leave the Crescent, disappointing my family and more importantly, my brother, but something kept me glued in place. 

 “It can’t wait for a few hours?” I asked, cringing as I did so. 

 Evushk merely sighed. 

 “House before family, kuvesk,” he said. 

 With my eyes burning, I let air hiss between my teeth. A pawn. I was just a phansha piece to be played. 

 “Lutov over all,” I said. “I know.” 

 “Then, get here. I expect you in half an hour.” 

 As he cut the connection, I dug my fingers into my eyes. Why now? 

 When I lowered my hands, I spotted my family in the distance and froze. Should I tell them what had happened? Could I? 

 Hell, Pheniks looked so happy with a glow settled over him and a skip in his step. Would my absence ruin that? 

 I needed to go, had a deadline to meet, but instead, I watched them get closer, battling with indecision. They climbed the steps that led into the Crescent, and with his eyes bouncing across the building, Pheniks caught sight of me. His face lit up, which only closed my throat, and as his brow furrowed, my brother’s smile faltered. There was a question in his eyes, one I couldn’t answer. 

 And I couldn’t be here. 

 I sprinted away from my family, dodging the occasional pedestrian. A message popped into view. I didn’t bother with reading it, setting my array to reject any further attempts at communication. 

 Besides from evushk, of course. Unless I ripped my array out of my head, he would always have a way to contact me. 

 Not far from the Crescent, several middle Strata had left their cycles in an asphalt square, meant for their storage. I doubted many of these people were attending this year’s ceremony, considering the park’s popularity as a picnic spot. Even still, one of them was going to regret coming here today. 

 I flung a leg over the first cycle I reached, starting it. Unlike most vehicles in Lutov, cycles were driven by their passengers, although onboard guidance might take over if a collision was imminent. 

 I overrode that safety feature while logging the name of the cycle’s owner for their property’s eventual return. Since evushk had yet to return my Lokke Vitras privileges, I had to brute force my way into gaining control of the cycle, but after I’d done that, I zipped out of the park, following the directions in my array. 

 Once I was on the street, I threaded through ground transports at reckless speeds, hugging the cycle as wind tore through my hair. The city flashed by on either side of me, and towers blinked past quickly enough that they blurred together. At this source of danger, this relatively new experience, my spirit should lighten. 

 But I’d turned myself off. This wasn’t keeping my emotions separate, felt but never allowed to affect me. This was me as an automaton, pulling deep inside and letting skill and instinct take over. 

 A shell of a person sped through Xygek. 

 After I’d left the city behind me, traffic died to almost nothing with most transports taking the route to the Eastern Reaches and the production facilities centered there. I headed toward the Azuwell Plains, where most high Strata kept their estates. 

 The drive there was quite beautiful. What else could it be with Lutov’s Preserve on one side and picturesque beaches on the other? Lake Voxmore stretched for as far as the eye could see with mountain peaks poking above its choppy water. 

 Vacationing citizens lounged or played in the sand, enjoyed the lake’s cool shallows, or sped across its surface in every type of watercraft available. Cabanas, expansive and small, dotted the land between the beach and the road, and it was at one of these that I eventually stopped. 

 I could feel evushk’s eyes on me as I dismounted the cycle and combed my hair into order, but I refused to look his way. I’d seen him on approach, a splotch of black against a bamboo wall, just as I’d seen the transport that he’d left waiting beside the building, but I couldn’t face him. 

 Why was I delaying this greeting? Was I ashamed of what had happened last night? 

 I shouldn’t be. Nothing I’d done had endangered Lutov and therefore, could be put in the past without qualms. 

 He hadn’t needed to fix one of my mistakes in years, though. Was that it? 

 Before I’d left his estate, evushk had said that I was almost ready to assume his role. How was someone who’d let a partner drug him during sex ready to become the Lokke Vitras? 

 How was someone who couldn’t face his teacher any better? 

 Evushk watched me march toward him without expression, and when I stopped, I kept my stance loose, not that I expected him to turn violent. If he did, I wouldn’t win. I could only recall one time when I’d beaten him in a fight, and from the way he’d thoroughly thrashed me during our next session, I still didn’t know if he’d let me win that time or not. 

 “You’re late,” evushk said. 

 I checked the time, and sure enough, it had been thirty-one minutes since he’d told me to leave the Crescent. 

 “I’ve failed you twice in as many days,” I said. 

 Should I ask him what he’d done with Fyester? Why the hell would I think that was a good idea? If I truly wanted to know what had happened, I could make inquiries later and not from the man who’d probably stayed up all night dealing with it. 

 Mother Time. When had I gotten so stupid? 

 “Stop. You are the Lokke Vitras to come,” evushk said. “Regret has no place in you.” 

 Damn, those words had cracked like a whip against me. Was he… angry? 

 No. That wasn’t possible. He’d never been anything but cool and detached when we were away from home. Just in case, though, it was best to play it safe. 

 “I hear your words, evushk,” I said. “If I may, why am I here? Are we on mission?” 

 “As of this moment, no, although that may change shortly,” evushk said. “I have a task for you to complete, one that requires a briefing beforehand.” 

 Ok. This, I could handle. It had been a while since he’d done anything but send me on missions, but I remembered the protocol for a training exercise. 

 “My focus to you,” I said. 

 With a nod, evushk said, “You know that I recently infiltrated House Cerullis, although I had to extract without gaining much intelligence. One thing I learned while there is that Cerullis, or perhaps a faction within it, means to make a move for power today. 

 “Since I gave Talira this knowledge, all Second Strata embedded in our sister House have been working to learn the plan’s details so we can assess the threat. It’s been a trying few weeks for everyone in the upper Strata with nothing to show for it, so today, our shukusen authorized a last-ditch effort to learn what we’ll be facing, and I’m entrusting the task to you.” 

 Oh… fuck. My tongue was sticking to the roof of my mouth, a leaden weight that I could barely move, but I did it anyway. 

 “Understood,” I said. 

 Cocking his head, evushk crossed his arms. 

 “Do you?” he asked. “Do you understand how much House Kolb stands to lose if you fail this task? The loss of our control? The smear on our reputation? Your House’s continued existence may ride on your success today.” 

 With a slow breath out, I said. “Forgive me, but Kolb isn’t my House. Not yet. Even still, I understand the importance of your order, just as I understand how my success or failure may affect Lutov.” 

 Evushk stared at me for what seemed like forever, a clinical examination that had me internally flinching. Had I passed or failed? 

 “Good,” he said. “We can go inside, then.” 

 As I followed him onto the cabana’s deck, I had to drag my feet because they’d suddenly become concrete blocks. I had an inkling of what evushk wanted from me, a suspicion that was breathing apprehension down my neck. I hoped I was wrong, that for once in my damn life, my mind had connected two dots that didn’t go together, because if I was right… 

 I didn’t know what I’d do. 

 Evushk stepped through the door, and as I did the same, I held my breath, sending silent pleas to no one in particular, but once my eyes had adjusted to the darkness inside, my retained air came whooshing out of me like someone had gut-punched me. 

 The cabana was one of the smaller buildings on Lake Voxmore’s shore, so small that a partitioned washroom was all that divided it. Someone had shoved its furniture against the walls, leaving ample empty space in the middle, and the lights had been dimmed to an excessive degree, forcing my array to adjust my vision. 

 In the middle of this, faintly glowing restraints bound a man to a chair, securing his arms and legs up to the elbow and knee. With sweat plastering his hair to his skin and a bruise circling one eye, he looked a little worse for wear, but the damage wasn’t too bad. 

 Yet. 

 Glancing at me, he laughed uproariously. All the while, the emotions I’d held off since last night threatened to turn my legs to water, and warm air rushed far too quickly through my nose. 

 Because it was Fyester sitting in that chair. Who else would it be? 

 TTS Chapter Thirty

Chapter 31: Please, Don't Make Me Decide 1
Evushk held something out to me, ignoring the hysterical giggling bouncing around us, and dazedly, I took it. 

 Shaped into a thin, rectangular stick, one end of the device had gold squares embedded in its body while the other had a glowing, blue circle painted on its surface with aberrant blips of light streaking through the black metal between. 

 I knew what this was. I might have never held one, but I’d seen it on evushk before. 

 A Puppeteer. Highly illegal, it was used to take over someone’s array and therefore, control them. The only person in Lutov held exempt from the harsh penalties imposed for owning one was the Lokke Vitras. 

 And he’d given his to me. 

 “What am I supposed to do with this?” I asked. 

 Raising an eyebrow, evushk said, “Ostium?” 

 “Fyester’s a House Cerullis member. Ostiu is the territory of Zan, their rival House. He doesn’t speak their tongue,” I said. “What am I supposed to do with this?” 

 I shook the Puppeteer for emphasis, and evushk glanced at it before levelly meeting my gaze. 

 “You know what,” he said. “You’re welcome to use any of the other techniques I’ve taught you, but I need my answers. Do you understand?” 

 I understood plenty of things. I understood that evushk had told me to do something that I wasn’t sure I could follow through with. I understood that this was probably a test of some sort. I understood why he’d so clearly defined the importance of learning House Cerullis’ plan before leading me in here. 

 “Kuvesk, do you understand?” he repeated. 

 I couldn’t say yes. If I did, it would mean I’d accepted the job. So, I did the next best thing. 

 “I hear your words, evushk,” I said. 

 Something flickered in the Lokke Vitras’ eyes, sorrow or maybe pity, and he nodded. 

 “I’ll give you space,” he said. 

 He stepped outside, and I was left alone with my partner and the Puppeteer balanced on my palm. Staring at it, I let its flashing blips lull my racing thoughts. I didn’t know how long I stood there, ignoring the gaze spearing through me, but it was long enough. 

 “You know I speak Ostium, right?” Fyester asked. “I learned it to spite my parents.” 

 Nodding, I said, “I remember.” 

 “Then, why…?” 

 Closing my fingers around the Puppeteer, I faced Fyester. 

 “I hoped that by convincing the L okke Vitras of your ignorance, he would expose how serious he is about getting what he wants,” I said. “I thought you should see that.” 

 Fyester was relaxed in his chair. Too relaxed. Didn’t he understand what would happen to him here? 

 “Won’t that make him angry with you?” he asked. 

 He was concerned about me. Almost, a babbling cackle burst out of me, but I cut it off with Fyester’s answer. 

 “I doubt he’ll learn about it. This cabana has no recorders in it, so he can’t use one to watch us. I triple checked for that as soon as I arrived, and I can see him through the wall. He’s moved well outside of hearing range,” I said. “Of course, I could be wrong, but if the Lokke Vitras did learn about my manipulation, the worst I’d receive from him is a mild rebuke that I did it for emotional reasons alone. He’d consider it… evidence of my improvement.” 

 With a quiet laugh, Fyester said, “You two truly are different animals, so far above the rest of us. So, tell me, Zae, master of my fate. What will you do? How badly will you hurt me?” 

 He couldn’t know how much his words had torn gouges out of the spark of my soul, couldn’t know how weak I was. Not if I was to have any chance of getting what I needed without… without… 

 “Just give me something, Fy,” I said. “Anything that I can use to get him off your back.” 

 “How likely is that, do you think? The Lokke Vitras backing off? It’s a fantasy,” Fyester said. “Besides, if I try to talk about the plan. I’m stopped-ngh!” 

 Last night, I hadn’t seen what had cut him off like this. Now, I did, and I wished I hadn’t. 

 Fyester clenched his jaw to the point that his teeth nearly bit through his tongue, and the veins in his neck bulged. All of his muscles bunched while a horrible image of their fibers tearing apart flashed through my head, and his eyes, popping in their sockets, burned from what was ripping him to pieces. 

 He stayed like this for a solid ten seconds before unclenching with a gasp. Fucking hell, what his gaze had told me… 

 As he slumped, I strode across the distance between us, crouching to cup his face. I ignored how I’d curled my other hand into a fist, holding something that could cause him worse pain than what I’d just seen. He met my eyes, and seeing the conflict taking place in him—how much he was railing against an unseen captor—I knew how today would end. 

 “I can’t,” I breathed. 

 “You have to,” Fyester said. “I can’t say it if you don’t. The information you want… lives are at stake. If they die because you spared me, I couldn’t live with it.” 

 “But-” 

 “Shut up, Zaeden,” Fyester snapped. 

 On hearing those words, an echo of last night before it had gone wrong, so much emotion urged me to let it spill over that my body showed the strain of keeping it under. 

 “I need you to promise me something,” Fyester said. “This tug of war between them and the two of you will leave me…” 

 He looked away, and I struggled to perform the simple task of breathing. 

 “Put a bullet in my head once it’s done, Zae. Empty my anunsri well. I can’t hang in limbo, waiting for my husk of a body to fail, before I join the Collective. Don’t condemn me to that. And… tell Jastin that I loved him? Please?” 

 He wanted me to go to his partner after I- 

 “I will, Fy,” I said with a calm voice. “You have my word.” 

 I brushed a thumb over his cheek, making a crooked smile my gift to him, and peace fell over this wonderful, glorious man who I’d- 

 “Get it over with,” Fyester said, “before they visit again. I beg you, Zaeden.” 

 I couldn’t stop myself. With a sob, I shot up to his level, pressing my lips to his, and then, I shoved him away, nearly toppling the chair. Rising from my crouch, I circled him and rested the Puppeteer’s golden end against the base of his skull with my thumb in its blue circle. 

 A second array popped into mine with all of its messages, beautifully written processes, and functions of the body mine to control, and I isolated what I’d need to bring Fyester more pain than what ‘they’ might cause. To compel details about today’s coming disaster from someone who was pleading for the freedom to speak it. 

 For what seemed like an eternity, I hovered over the process that would start everything, but when I yanked the Puppeteer off of Fyester, his chair was still rattling on its legs from when I’d pushed him. 

 “No,” I said. “I’ll keep my promise, but this? I can’t do it.” 

 Which was strange because my emotions weren’t denying it to me. They were in turmoil. I was in turmoil, but as with Laytn several days ago, I couldn’t pull the trigger if it would end a life. 

 So, I stormed to the door while Fyester shouted something behind me, trudging through the sand until I reached the far end of the transport. I slapped the Puppeteer to the Lokke Vitras’ chest, not giving a single shit when it clattered onto the asphalt. 

 “I can’t do it,” I said. “If you want your information, you’ll have to get it yourself.” 

 Impassive, gray eyes stared at me until I retreated a step, remembering who I was speaking to. 

 “So, you’re not to the point where torture has become acceptable. I thought as much, but what better opportunity to test your limits was there than this? I couldn’t pass it up,” evushk said, as if to himself. “Still, I must admit that I’m glad I haven’t yet made you into such a monster-” 

 “Forgive the interruption, evushk, but I said I can’t, not that I won’t. I’m perfectly willing to do as you’ve asked, but something inside of me won’t let me cross that line,” I said. “Perhaps it’s Fyester’s relative innocence. Something or someone is controlling him. Can’t we break that control another way?” 

 An already still man turned to stone, and his gaze was hard as it drilled into me. 

 “It is not your place to question me, kuvesk,” evushk said. “I know how hard this must be for you, but remember. You are to trust that I know what I’m doing and obey me.” 

 Mother Time, that chill. It almost made me bow to him, letting him have his way, but gritting my teeth, I stayed perfectly still, maintaining eye contact. 

 “I’m not questioning you,” I said. “I only want to understand. I’ve always done as you’ve commanded without an explanation about its necessity, but in this, I’m asking for one. Please.” 

 I needed him to reinforce what Fyester had already told me so that I might find untroubled sleep at some point in the next few years. 

 Something switched in evushk . He went from the calculating man he became on missions to the person I knew at home, the one who seemed to have a soul. 

 “You really do care for him, don’t you?” he asked. 

 I said nothing, forcing myself not to look away. 

 “Do you see why loving someone is a risk when you’re the Lokke Vitras?” he asked. 

 I couldn’t answer that, not yet, and after a moment, evushk shook his head. 

 “You may have your explanation,” he said. “In my long life, I’ve watched the Houses perpetually squabble amongst themselves, and every so often, their infighting turns violent. When it does, the conflict always escalates quickly, and always, innocent people pay for it with their lives. 

 “Unless the Lokke Vitras stops it. 

 “What we’re seeing with Cerullis is another of those overeager attempts to seize control. Knowing that my gathered intelligence about their power grab is good and that they mean to move forward with it today, this gives us little time. 

 “And yes. We have ways to break an individual’s conditioning without hurting them, but not only am I unsure about whether Sixth Stratus Fyester is under another person’s control, but those other methods can take weeks, which we don’t have. I find causing one man pain a better outcome than risking hundreds of innocent lives. 

 “Therefore, one of us will torture what we need from Fyester before leaving to dismantle his scheme. I’m assuming I’ll do that, something I’m happy to shoulder for you. Now that I see how attached you are to him, I know that I asked you to do this too soon in your training. Even still, this continued refusal to cause true harm to someone is something we must soon address. Satisfied?” 

 No. 

 “Yes,” I said. “Thank you, evushk.” 

 And he closed off. 

 “We’ve wasted enough time,” he said. 

 Scooping the Puppeteer off of the pavement, he marched to the cabana with me on his heels, but when we reached the door, he pointed to a spot beside it. 

 “Stay. You shouldn’t see this,” he said, “and I’ll need you once it’s over.” 

 I obediently moved where he’d indicated, distracting myself from an agonizing wait with something less painful. Something that nonetheless still hurt. 

 While evushk spoke to Fyester inside, I considered what I’d planned to do this morning. Had the inner layer of the Crescent been opened to the unHoused and their families yet? Had mine found their seats in the crowd? Had the speeches that marked the start of the ceremony commenced? 

 I’d left the Crescent and its park not long ago, but I avoided checking how much time had passed since then. If I did, it would answer my questions, and for now, I’d rather leave them open-ended. 

 Behind me, two voices, muffled by bamboo walls, fell silent. The world around me had gone so quiet that the slight sound of my breathing felt like an intrusion on it, and startled by this, I jerked back to present circumstances, scrabbling for something, anything to give me escape. 

 TTS Chapter Thirty-One

Chapter 32: Please, Don't Make Me Decide 2
I didn’t find the escape I’d longed for. My world became the interior of the cabana with my every sense attuned to it, and soon enough, they were blasted by a wailing screech. It went on and on while every jittery beat of my heart competed with its volume, and my mouth went so dry that it was hard to swallow, but before that noise could stop, I ripped free of its cloying hold. 

 I silently sprinted for the transport, using what I knew of evushk’s favorite security processes to get it open. The sinuous bonds of a weeping voice rose into a scream again, chasing me inside, and my hands shook as I ripped a cushion off of the closest bench. As always, evushk had a spare pistol hidden here, and I took it, both hating and loving myself for leaving mine in my parents’ apartment this morning. 

 On my return trip, what had pursued me before instead resisted, and I could swear that I was swimming upstream or pressing into the furious wind of a gale. The sheer hurt in Fyester’s voice hooked into me, doing its damnedest to haul me far away from here, but I had a promise to keep. Nothing could stop me from fulfilling it. 

 I was sweating, gasping as if I’d sprinted here from Xygek, when I reached my assigned spot once more, and for the worst ten minutes of my life, I fought—poorly—to ignore what my evushk was doing to a man I cared for. 

 When Lake Voxmore’s typical quiet fell over us again, all I heard was ringing, much like what happened when one had been standing too close to an exploding grenade. 

 I took a deep breath. Let it out. Raised the pistol that I was holding in loose fingers. Adjusted its beam to a needlepoint setting. Lowered it. Walked inside. 

 Fyester was hanging from his bonds, unmoving. This, I’d expected. 

 Evushk was crouched in a corner, scrunched as far from his victim as he could get. With his head ducked and his arms thrown over the back of his neck, he was rocking in place, and as the ringing in my ears relented somewhat, I heard him murmuring to himself, even if the specifics were still mush. 

 This, I had not expected. What-? 

 No. Evushk could wait. Keeping my promise could not. 

 Once I was at Fyester’s side, I shook his shoulder, hoping against hope that the two of us had been wrong. 

 “Fy.” 

 And when that gained me nothing, I shook him again, hard enough to flop him around in his chair. 

 “Fyester.” 

 Circling in front of him, I hooked my finger under his chin, lifting his head, and wondered at how the emptiness in his slack face matched what I felt, a deceptive calm that would break as soon as I was somewhere more secure. Color was leeching from his eyes with them beginning their transition back to their natural hue. I’d always been curious if that had been a body modification. 

 As a last check, I retrieved the Puppeteer from where it had fallen on the floor, holding it as needed, and when Fyester’s array popped into mine, I flinched. It was destroyed with bits of broken processes and snippets of numbers haphazardly floating through it, and when I caught hold of what had once monitored his brain, I found burned-through neural pathways, a network of black that looped through gray matter like a spiderweb. 

 A Puppeteer couldn’t do this much damage. I’d seen an example of its use, and yes, it could harm the brain, but the damage it did was limited. This was… 

 I let the Puppeteer fall out of my fingers. Something else had been at work here. Had someone in House Cerullis developed a form of mind control? That might explain some of the House's recent, nonsensical behavior. 

 But that was a question for later. 

 Fyester was gone, leaving an empty shell in front of me. Shouldn’t… something be howling through me right now? 

 Instead, I found pressing the pistol’s muzzle to Fyester’s skull remarkably easy. I wanted to make as little of a mess as possible here. His parents and… his partner shouldn’t have to deal with a mangled corpse on top of their loved one’s death. 

 My array helped me adjust my angle so that the bolt would go through his brain stem, stopping his heart, and hugging his head to my belly, I squeezed the trigger. 

 And Fyester died. And I’d made my first kill. 

 One of my partners. 

 I could do nothing more than stand there for a while, holding him while brushing my fingers and the pistol through his hair, but at some point, the ringing clogging my ears cleared in truth, and I heard what evushk had been mumbling behind me this whole time. 

 “Not another. Not another. Please, Mother Time, I can’t- I can’t. So. much. blood. on my hands. When will it stop? I need it to stop! You were right, mom. Right, right, right, right!” 

 As he kept going, his words came fast, like rain against the glass of a speeding skycruiser, and they fluidly shifted between the three known tongues. Combined with what I’d seen earlier, I’d say that evushk, someone who’d shown me only muted emotions for years, was having a breakdown. 

 Over this? Why? Shouldn’t I be the one doing that? 

 Instead, I remembered what he’d said about how critical timing was today. Hurrying to him, I sent a message to Talira, letting her know that we had a mess on our hands, ready for cleanup. 

 I didn’t know who else to contact besides her. Evushk usually handled the aftermath of our missions. 

 At his side, I knelt, reaching for him, but he knocked my hand aside, skittering even further into the corner, and his rifle coalesced, pointed at me. Quick reflexes and House Kolb speed kept me from getting my face caved in, and I backed away from him with my arms spread wide. 

 “Evushk, it’s me,” I said. “Calm down.” 

 But feverish eyes didn’t see me, sliding over my face without recognition. 

 “So many kids dead,” he said. “Oh, the Collective should reject me when I die. Then, you won’t see what I’ve become, mom. A monster, monster, monster. I hate-! Black spark of soul, just like him. Ah! When will the screaming stop!” 

 My brain stalled, leaving me unable to do more than blink at him. I didn’t know how to handle this. If he were anyone else, I’d risk getting shot to knock him unconscious, but he was the Lokke Vitras. If I did anything he didn’t like right now, he’d kill me. 

 Someone requested a direct connection with me, and after checking who it was, I accepted. 

 “Has he lost it?” shukusen Talira asked. 

 “Wha-?” I started. 

 “Is he losing it, Zaeden?” Talira growled. “No. You know what? Let me have access to your array.” 

 If she hadn’t been my grandmother, I would have laughed in her face. Granting someone full permission to one’s array was a vulnerability that even a normal Lutovish wouldn’t make. 

 But Talira was a shukusen and part of my family. I trusted her. I gave her what she needed, letting her hear what I heard and see through my eyes, and for a heartbeat, she said nothing. 

 Then, she was shrieking in my head. 

 “MOTHER FUCKING SHIT!” 

 Wincing, I rubbed my ears, even knowing that the noise hadn’t originated there. 

 “Zae-zae, has he hurt you?” Talira snapped. 

 “He shot at me, but I ducked it,” I said. “What’s happening?” 

 “Kid, your self-sufficient asshole of a teacher can tell you about it himself if he wants to, I certainly won’t,” Talira said. “I’m guessing something traumatic happened?” 

 I firmly didn’t think about the body behind me. 

 “For us both,” I said. “You can access my memory of it, if you want.” 

 “Oh, hell. I’m still in your array,” Talira said before pausing. “There. I’m out. Revoke my permissions.” 

 I’d done so as soon as she’d left, but I wouldn’t tell her that. 

 “Done,” I said. “Shukusen, my evushk…” 

 He was still babbling and stuttering up a storm with his rifle raised and his eyes jerking over the room. 

 Sighing, Talira said, “He’ll be like that for a while. If you have the time, he’ll calm down by himself, but I don’t know how long it’ll take. Can you wait?” 

 “Kind of have something time-sensitive to handle,” I said. 

 “Of course you do,” Talira grumbled, “and he’s not accepting my requests for connection, so you’ll have to calm him down. I’ll help you through it, but you’ll have to destroy your memory of it later. Doing so is vital for Lutov’s security. Do you understand me?” 

 That I wasn’t part of House Kolb and therefore, didn’t have to follow her orders? Yes, I understood. 

 “I hear you,” I said. 

 “Ok, then,” Talira said. “Do exactly as I say, or this will turn to shit.” 

 Creeping closer to evushk, I stopped when his rifle and gaze fixed on me, making the rush of his words hiccup, and into this brief break, I flung a name. 

 “Korix!” 

 It was as if something had petrified evushk. I’d swear that shock had killed him if he weren’t blinking every so often. 

 “Korix,” I repeated. “I have your orders from shukusen Talira.” 

 Stiffening, he straightened, dissipating his rifle even if his eyes stayed unfocused. 

 “What are my orders?” he asked. 

 “Finish your current mission,” I said, “and then, take a week for yourself. I’ll notify you if an emergency comes up.” 

 Evushk took one deep breath. Two. 

 And clarity returned to his gaze. 

 “Yes, my shukusen,” he said. “Please stop using my kuvesk as a mouthpiece.” 

 With a chuckle, Talira said, “Good luck, Zae-zae. Maybe if you finish quickly enough with your current shitstorm, you can get back here in time for Phen’s House naming.” 

 She cut the connection, but when I looked at evushk, hoping for guidance, he was already on his way out of the cabana. He gave the corpse a cursory glance before exiting, and I followed in his footsteps, catching up with him before he reached the transport. 

 “What was that?” I quietly asked. 

 “Not something we’re discussing right now,” evushk said. “We need to get back to Xygek.” 

 Boarding the transport, he made no comment on its already open state or his missing pistol, heading for the console to input coordinates instead. I joined him inside, although I remained on my feet for the moment. 

 “What’s in Xygek?” I asked. 

 “House Cerullis’ power play,” evushk said. “They’ve planted a Dissolver somewhere in Acceptance Arena.” 

 So in essence, a bomb. Where my family was. 

 “Oh,” I said. 

 Spinning, I sat on one of the transport’s benches while it sealed the door and began its slow acceleration toward the city. As evushk sank to a seat beside me, I wondered why I wasn’t more upset that we were leaving Fyester’s body behind. I wondered why I wasn’t torn up inside about murdering him. I wondered why I wasn’t ripping-my-hair-out frantic to reach the Crescent and my family. 

 I had none of this. I just sat beside my teacher and waited. 

 TTS Chapter Thirty-Two

Chapter 33: I Don't Want to Be a Killer
The length of the road that I’d traveled earlier today, a time that seemed like years ago, went by in a flash with the forest on one side and a sea-like lake on the other. 

 Also, evushk. 

 He was… concerning me. In our time together, evushk had always been a still source of calm and confidence, a rock I could go to for advice about my every problem while knowing he’d have an answer. I’d seen that rock crack in the cabana, and now, he- he was fidgeting. It was disconcerting, and so, I ignored him, keeping my mind on what we needed to do once we reached Xygek. 

 Unfortunately, the silence between us was only making him worse, and I didn’t know how I should proceed. If I acknowledged evushk, working to get him centered, I might lose this scooped-out state that I’d achieved. I didn’t want to consider what would happen when it abandoned me. 

 On the other hand, he wasn’t mission-ready like this, which was something I thought I’d never see. 

 His fidgeting was strange as well. From what I could tell, nothing was prompting it, no guilt or sorrow or impatience. It was like the hand that controlled his normally empty body had developed a twitch. 

 I didn’t like it. 

 After a few minutes of this, I said, “Do we know where the Dissolver-?” 

 “You were right,” evushk blurted out. “You were right, and I should have seen it.” 

 Glancing at him from the corner of my eye, I frowned. 

 “Are we isolated?” I asked. “No one should overhear this conversation.” 

 “I removed this transport’s recorders before taking it,” evushk said. “Nothing and no one’s watching us, although you should have checked that for yourself by now.” 

 I had. I’d wanted to make sure I hadn’t missed one. 

 Knowing what was coming, I clasped my hands together, preparing for when they started shaking. Hopefully, I could hide any other physical reactions that might occur as well. 

 “What was I right about?” I asked. 

 “Your partner,” evushk said. “Something was manipulating him.” 

 His admission spawned nothing in me, leaving me a blank canvas waiting for a brush. Curious. 

 “Perhaps House Cerullis has developed a tech that could-” I started in monotone. 

 There was a sharp gasp and then... 

 “Kuvesk, stop,” evushk said. 

 Calm. We were back to the unnerving calm that I’d grown comfortable with over the years. No matter how harsh or forceful his words might be, they were always said in a level, even tone. Hearing it returned, as opposed to the panic from before, loosened something in me. 

 “What happened with Sixth Stratus Fyester was a… mistake on my part,” evushk said. “I only meant to hurt him a little, enough to gain the information we needed, and afterward, I’d have sent him to Talira. He was meant to live out his days in a normal fashion, if perhaps in harsher circumstances than before, but he wouldn’t tell me anything, kept apologizing… 

 “When I extracted our intel, I stopped what I was doing. Immediately. But something…” 

 The image of Fyester, caught in the inflicted punishment of his captor, had yet to fade from the back of my eyelids. Did evushk see it too? 

 “Something burned out his neural pathways,” I said. 

 Turning to me, evushk stared. He opened his mouth, and I knew what he was going to say. 

 Lifting a finger, I said, “Don’t. Regret has no place in you, yes?” 

 With a coughing laugh, evushk threw himself into his seat again. 

 “Using my own words against me,” he said. 

 I didn’t know how to respond to that, so I rested my hand, palm up, on my knee, extending the same offer of comfort that he’d given me before I’d left for Xygek. I kept my eye on the transport’s windows until evushk accepted, but then, I squeezed his hand in a grip that he’d have trouble escaping from. 

 “I don’t blame you,” I said. “Even if you had believed me, I wouldn’t blame you. You were doing your job, following the role that Lutov has prescribed for you, and in so doing, we have the chance to save many lives today. What you did was for them, not something that was undertaken out of spite or possessiveness. Besides. You didn’t kill him.” 

 Mother Time, how that last part had hurt to say. 

 “Oh, kuvesk…” 

 Evushk slid lower in his seat, running a hand over his face. 

 “I know I’ve been pushing for you to assume the burden that all Lokke Vitras bear, but I never wanted your first kill to be someone you loved.” 

 Had I loved Fyester? I’d cared for him, sure, but love? I didn’t know. Maybe? 

 “And a tiny bit of possessiveness may have driven me,” evushk continued. 

 Slowly, I faced him while ice radiated from me, but he didn’t react to it, merely holding my gaze. 

 “I understand and accept your many needs, even share them to a degree,” he said, “but in part because of our isolation, I’m not used to seeing you close with other people. It makes me apprehensive of what might happen when that eventually happens, both to you and to- to me.” 

 Ah. This old argument. 

 He knew exactly what I’d say, so I left it unspoken, returning to my inspection of the view outside. The city raced past us with glass and metal replacing nature. 

 “If you have time when this chaos is over, I’d like your help with finding someone,” I said. “Jastin. Of House Cerullis most likely.” 

 “Do you have anything to go off of, besides a name?” evushk asked. “Otherwise, finding this person might take a while.” 

 “He was Fyester’s partner. They lived together,” I said. “I have last words to deliver.” 

 Evushk was silent for a moment, and when he spoke, his voice was hollow. 

 “He knew what would happen to him?” 

 When I woodenly nodded, evushk jerked his hand out of mine. 

 “Shit!” 

 Shooting to his feet, he paced the transport with his hands on his head while I watched him with wide eyes. I’d never heard evushk curse before. Not once in six years. 

 “Why didn’t he say something?!” he asked in a quiet shriek. 

 That decided me. 

 Flattening my lips, I tracked our transport’s progress through my array. We were close to the Crescent, so I eased to my feet, taking evushk’s hand as I skirted around him. I drew him to the console, perching on it, and all the while, I was feeding coordinates to the transport for its next trip. 

 “If he’d told you, would it have changed anything?” I asked. 

 Evushk was twitching everywhere I was touching him. 

 “No,” he said. “I would still have needed the information he had, and he couldn’t have given it to me unless I provided as much stimulation as I did.” 

 “Then, it doesn’t matter whether he knew his fate, not on the macro scale,” I said, “but on the micro… for us, shouldn’t knowing that he wanted to help us, no matter the consequences, make living with what we did easier?’ 

 The park filled the windows behind evushk, but he didn’t notice. I had his full attention. 

 “That’s not how it works,” he whispered. 

 “I know.” 

 Hopping off the console, I took hold of his face. 

 “But we can pretend.” 

 And I reached for my goal with a firm grip keeping him from retreating. When my lips touched his, he gasped, pulling away, but he wasn’t doing that nearly as hard as I knew he could. He wanted this, no matter that he’d gone limp, a statue that was barely returning my kiss. 

 I’d been here before, though. I knew what this was: a final resistance that he always raised before giving in to the emotions that he kept constantly repressed. 

 In this instance, it took much less time than normal to draw them forth, and he returned my kiss with enthusiasm. He tried to drag me against him, but I caught his wrists, holding them between us. I let him do what he wanted with my mouth, though, even if I was too distracted with monitoring the transport’s approach to enjoy it. 

 As we came closer, I prepared the processes that I would soon need before pinning evushk to the wall opposite the door. Running my hands over him, I dipped one of them into his pocket, plucking something from it, and then, we reached Acceptance Arena. 

 One end of my stolen restraints went around my claimed wrist while I attached the other to a nearby handhold, and as evushk went stiff, I leapt away, sprinting out the opening door. Halfway through it, I put the transport in lockdown, which had every entrance or exit slamming closed, and it began its flight to the coordinates that I’d earlier provided for it. In lockdown mode, only extreme finesse with process cracking could get it to land or open its door, and even then, doing so took time. 

 Evushk barely needed that time to get out of his restraints. Through the transport’s diminishing windows, I caught a glimpse of him running for the door with panic written on him before the vehicle fell out of sight. It was the most emotion he’d ever shown me, apart from earlier, but I didn’t count that breakdown since he hadn’t seemed fully conscious of it. 

 What I’d seen there? That had been pure emotion allowed to slip through his indomitable defenses. 

 I didn’t take long to ponder this change or what it might mean, instead sending clumps of grass flying in my haste to reach the Crescent. I’d hit the stairs leading into it when the inevitable direct connection established in my array. 

 “What do you think you’re doing?” evushk growled. 

 “Completing the mission,” I said. “You’re compromised. I don’t know if you’ll keep your shit together long enough to neutralize the threat, and I won’t risk people’s lives on the off chance that you can’t.” 

 “I’m turning the transport around,” evushk said. “You’re going to need help.” 

 Oo… he’d sounded angry. I didn’t know whether I should find that terrifying or alluring. 

 “Sure. Come back,” I said, “but by the time you’ve done that, I’ll have taken care of our problem. Now, stop talking to me. You’re ruining my concentration, and that might get me killed.” 

 For the first time, I cut the connection. Thank Mother Time, he didn’t establish another one because I was at the door leading into the Crescent. 

 I didn’t know how many targets were inside. I didn’t know where they were. I didn’t know when they’d trigger the Dissolver to begin its work, but I was going in anyway. 

 This should be fun. 

 TTS Chapter Thirty-Three

Chapter 34: But a Murderer Is What I've Become
The outer layer of Acceptance Arena held a reverential air, spilling over from the ceremony taking place inside. As I scanned what I could of it, I absently browsed through the feeds of the inner layer’s recorders, and once I’d found one with a good angle on Pheniks, I left it in the corner of my array. 

 They’d started calling the unHouseds’ names, but my brother hadn’t taken his turn yet. Lucky me. 

 As expected, I found nothing suspicious in the visible portion of the outer layer. Whoever had planned this power play wouldn’t have planted a Dissolver in the open, even after the ceremony’s attendees had left this place. House Kolb members were guarding the inner layer’s doors, and while these people might be easy to subdue individually, one of them would probably raise an alarm before succumbing to an attack. 

 No, setting up the device in the enclosed ends of the outer layer would be more practical. Hence, why I’d entered the Crescent near one of them. 

 As I hurried toward my goal, a nearby guard caught sight of my approach. She stepped into my path, and I considered using House Kolb speed to go around her before having a better idea. 

 I didn’t know why the House Cerullis saboteurs hadn’t initiated the Crescent’s dissolution yet. This year’s House naming ceremony was the only event of note today, and the shukusenth were gathered for it, making this moment the prime time to complete their plan. 

 Even Cerullis’ shukusen was here. Did that mean Alezand didn’t know about this plot? 

 That didn’t matter right now. 

 All of this was to say that I didn’t know why disaster had yet to strike. Maybe the saboteurs were waiting for the most impactful moment?  

 Since nothing had started, though, it gave me an opportunity. 

 Raising her hand, the guard opened her mouth to speak, but I cut her off before she could. 

 “Check my shared status before you say anything,” I called. “I wouldn’t want you to make a fool of yourself.” 

 At some point after I’d arrived at the cabana, evushk had reinstated my Lokke Vitras privileges. Regaining them had been why I’d had no trouble with taking control of the transport, and seeing them in my status, the guard, predictably, lost her composure. 

 “L-lok-” she tried to say. 

 I fluttered my fingers at her. 

 “Yes, yes. Shock and awe can come later. For now, I’m short on time,” I said. “I have a task for you.” 

 Snapping to attention, the guard said, “I’m honored to serve.” 

 Of course she was. They always were. 

 “I need you and your security team to quietly begin evacuating audience members from the Crescent. Leave the unHoused and the shukusenth for now,” I said. “I also require direct access to your array. If my end of this doesn’t go well, you’ll be in charge of a mass evacuation. Get everyone as far from here as possible. I don’t know what the radius of damage will be.” 

 Mother Time, she looked scared. 

 “Radius of damage?” she repeated. 

 “Yes. Your array’s access information, if you please,” I said, snapping my fingers. 

 Sluggishly, the guard waved toward me, and the means by which I could contact her popped into my array. 

 After sending her a test message, I said, “Grant me permissions for everything. Someone will visit you later to erase my information from your array, and I will do the same for mine. For now, start getting these people out of here.” 

 She fumbled in word and body while I breezed around her. 

 When I’d been younger, my fellow unHoused had whispered about the Lokke Vitras and how nice it must be to receive so much hero worship. I’d only found it to be a burden, and I had yet to assume the mantle. Mother Time knew how I’d handle that part of the job when my ascension to it eventually came. 

 Once I’d passed into one end of the Crescent, what little decoration the place claimed disappeared entirely. Everything in this section was utilitarian, making this side the one relegated for the place’s maintenance staff. 

 Nearby, the office for the Crescent’s manager was squashed in among the others, and if I weren’t in such a hurry, I might have stepped inside out of nostalgia. There, my journey on this road had begun. 

 As it was, I didn’t have long to complete my search. The saboteurs were sure to trigger their Dissolver before the end of the House naming ceremony, and each of this year’s unHoused was quickly making their choice without dithering like I had. It would be Pheniks’ turn soon. 

 At the rate they were going, I’d give myself ten minutes, if I was lucky. Given how little time I had, I got my array to do a scan for high-level tech instead of completing a more thorough search myself. The scan’s range covered this area, so when it returned with nothing, I headed for the freight lift on the other side of this cramped space. While I jumped into it, I set my array to continue scanning before hitting the ground running. 

 Sprinting down the tunnel sent fingers prickling along my spine. It followed the curve of the Crescent, so while I could see a fair distance ahead of me, I wouldn’t get much warning before I ran into someone, if they were down here. I needed this speed, though, meaning that the only advantage I could give myself right now was to make this dash as silently as possible. 

 Despite the danger to myself, when Pheniks got to his feet above me, I pulled my recorder’s feed to center field, letting its captured audio ring in my head. Once he was on the dais, my brother stopped beside this year’s randomly chosen spokesperson, and the man gestured toward the shukusenth in their ornate chairs. 

 “Pheniks, it’s time for you to choose how you will aid the homeland,” he said. “Approach the representative of the House in which you will best serve and become a citizen of Lutov.” 

 My brother faced the shukusenth . And hesitated. 

 My heart lurched in my chest, and while I recovered from a stumble, Pheniks looked to our grandmother for help. She gave him nothing, and on seeing that, he deflated a little. 

 With a start, I realized that I’d been mumbling under my breath— 

 “Come on, little brother. Make the best choice for you.” 

 —and shut my mouth. What had I been thinking, making noise of any kind right now? 

 Taking a deep breath, Pheniks straightened, holding himself tall. He mouthed something to Talira, something I wouldn’t have been able to read if I were anyone else. 

 ‘Sorry.’ 

 And he strode to Arion, kneeling in front of Zan’s shukusen. 

 A murmur floated through the inner layer. Even Arion looked a bit shocked, but he pulled himself together to finish the process. 

 This last part was the only throwback to when the Houses had been noble families, banded together to resist an impossible foe. 

 Laying his hand on my brother’s head, Arion said, “As the head of my House, I take this worthy vassal into said House. May you serve it well.” 

 He leaned back in his chair with a slight smile on his face, and Pheniks sprang to his feet. The happiness beaming from him would have been strong enough to break my recorder, if it had been a physical force. 

 “See here Pheniks of House Zan,” the spokesperson said. 

 The hesitancy of the audience’s resulting applause didn’t dampen my brother’s spirit. He hopped off the dais, making for his seat with a bounce in his step, and I sent him the message that I’d written last night. 

 Good for you, Phen. 

 After a breath, Pheniks tripped, barely catching himself before glancing toward where our family must be sitting. Failing to see what he’d wanted, he sank into his chair with a frown, and soon enough, I received his reply. 

 Zae? You’re here? it read. I thought you ran off. 

 Smirking, I wrote, I did, but I’m still watching. Recorder above shukusen Orin’s head. 

 Pheniks jerked his head toward where my feed was coming from, grinning when he found the recorder. Slumping, he draped his arms over the back of his chair before turning his head so I could clearly watch him draw his thumb down the back of his neck, and I rolled my eyes at the crude gesture. 

 Eloquent. 

 He quickly replied, but I shoved the message aside for the moment, hearing voices ahead. As I slowed to a creep along the innermost wall, however, I found nothing but a lift out of the tunnel ahead. They must be in the enclosed section above. 

 After I’d made the necessary adjustments, the tunnel’s ceiling turned partially translucent, still visible but also… not. Five figures were moving about the room overhead with the simulation’s generic avatar representing them, and a small box was sitting between them. Other items, like food warmers and banquet tables, filled the room, but my attention was reserved for that box. 

 A Dissolver. A weapon reverse-engineered from the tech of those from beyond the stars. 

 Once activated, it created a spherical energy field, one that we still didn’t understand, of pre-set limits. Everything within the sphere was dissolved down to its requisite atoms, much like the molecular dispersion needed to enter the Travel Centers’ Terminal. Unlike that process, however, this version was permanent. 

 If that wasn’t bad enough, we’d never learned what happened to a person after their dissolution. What became of said victim’s anunsri, their Life Energy, that kept the spark of their soul in their body? Did that same spark join the Collective, or was it lost? 

 The possibility of utter annihilation, nothing beyond death, made the Dissolver one of Lutov’s most feared weapons, something that we only used in the direst of circumstances. 

 And these people meant to have this weapon’s unleashed devastation propel their House into power. I’d find their behavior more detestable if I weren’t confused as hell as to why they were still here. 

 Making exceptions to the Dissolver’s energy field for specific items or people was impossible. If these saboteurs were still here when the weapon was activated, they’d cease to exist alongside everyone else. 

 Were they that fanatical about their House? Or could something be controlling them, like what had happened with Fyester? This situation raised so many questions, none of which I’d get answered if everyone above me died. 

 Which meant I had to leave one alive. 

 Could I kill them, though? Sure, I- I’d killed Fyester, but I’d done that out of mercy and at his request. Could I send people to the Collective if they weren’t ready for it, like he’d been? The question had plagued me for six years with the answer always no, so why would today be any different? 

 I wasted precious seconds agonizing over this, watching my possible victims circle around the Dissolver above me. 

 That was the difference between now and every other time I’d faced this choice. Today, people’s lives were in immediate danger. 

 I’d never dealt with this before. To date, I’d undertaken my missions before the situation had taken a nosedive. I’d always had the option of subduing my targets instead of eliminating them. 

 If I tried doing that today, however, it would take time, and given it, one of my targets could wreak havoc on this place. If it were only my life on the line, I’d take that chance, willing to trade my everything for the possibility that all six people would survive this coming confrontation, but I wasn’t alone with them. When I looked through my guard’s eyes, I saw stands that were only halfway emptied while those participating in the ceremony had been left untouched. 

 I saw Feena, mom, dad, and Pheniks. 

 Could I become a murderer in truth, staining the spark of my soul, if it saved their lives? 

 Choosing one of the better plans that I’d formed while battling morals, I sprinted for the lift. Jumping into it, I twisted as it carried me higher than a normal leap could, and when my feet hit the far wall, I pushed off of it, alighting on the landing above with my rifle in hand. 

 I didn’t examine the room or check my targets’ positions. I just fired four times, and bodies thudded to the floor. 

 “Down on the ground,” I shouted. 

 The last living Cerullis member lifted her hands above her head, lowering herself to her knees. I’d eliminated the threat in under ten seconds, as compared to my recent struggle with House Vaessa’s problem in Ibis. 

 Killing made this job so much easier. 

 Planting metaphorical feet in the walls of my throat, I hauled on the sob clawing to escape from me while moving forward to check pulses. One could never be sure if a target was faking their injuries. 

 Please be faking. 

 That hope was quashed as I came close enough to take in the scene, keeping an eye on my captive all the while. My rifle’s bolts had bored neat, blackened holes through each of these people’s foreheads, clean and precise shots like evushk had taught me. Like I’d practiced a million times. 

 A tremor rattled over my hands as I crouched by each of my victims, rolling them onto their backs and closing their eyes, but I didn’t think my captive noticed this loss of control. She was rapidly making her face a mess of mucus and tears. The hitching sobs that I wished I could unleash were coming from her instead. 

 When I stood beside the Dissolver, I placed my thumb in the glowing circle on its top surface. I didn’t bother with deactivating it. Pulling a study on the weapon from my memory, I initiated the processes that would safely overheat and slag it. 

 Once that was finished, I lifted the cube off the floor, bouncing it on my palm, before switching it for a pair of restraints in my pocket. Dangling these in front of me, I approached my captive. 

 “Hands,” I said. 

 She readily gave them over, and once I’d circled those glowing bands around her wrists, I let my rifle dissipate. 

 “Please,” she said, “what will you do with me?” 

 That was a good question. I’d already sent messages to both Talira and evushk, letting them know the situation was handled. One of them should soon alert the necessary parties for prisoner retrieval, but I didn’t want to leave this woman alone with her dead compatriots. That seemed cruel, not to mention risky. 

 So, I folded to the ground in front of her. 

 “Honestly, I don’t know,” I said. “I don’t usually stick around long enough to see what happens to the people I apprehend. Maybe I should look into it.” 

 With wide eyes, she asked, “Who are you?” 

 I raised an eyebrow at her. 

 “Who are you?” 

 “Ah,” she said before clearing her throat. “Tatum, Twelfth Stratus of House Cerullis.” 

 Such low Stratus! That could make her a fanatic or a woman looking to improve her quality of life, but people in her position also made for good patsies. 

 “Well, Tatum,” I said. “I have a name, but soon, it won’t be mine. I have no House, but eventually, that will change, and currently, I am of both the lowest and highest Strata.” 

 Her mouth dropped open. I’d never seen someone actually do that, so I cocked my head at her until her teeth clicked together, and she swallowed. 

 “Lokke Vitras to come,” she said. 

 When I nodded, Tatum burst into tears, reaching for my hands. 

 “Please, don’t interrogate me!” she gasped. “Please! I- I don’t-” 

 She seemed… unusually distressed by that prospect. 

 Grabbing her shoulders, I peered into her eyes, unsure what I was looking for. 

 “Does something have its claws in you too?” I asked. 

 Horror dawned, twisting Tatum’s face as she turned inward. 

 “No!” she cried. “Please! Don’t! I can still-” 

 She choked off while a familiar visage faced me with bulging veins and all, and as my heart dropped through my feet, something in her eyes begged me for help. 

 “How do I-?” 

 Before I could finish that question, she spasmed violently enough to rip herself out of my grip. Toppling, she curled back on herself, bending so far that her head nearly met her toes, while her hands stretched in front of her, straining against her bonds. Something popped, leaving one arm dangling from its shoulder, and a silent scream tore out of a gaping mouth. 

 On my knees, I hovered my hands over her, wishing I had a Puppeteer so I could see what was happening in her head. So I could stop it. 

 “Tatum? Tatum! Stay with me. Fight it!” 

 But after a ridiculously long two minutes, she’d gone limp with her empty eyes staring straight ahead, and I could swear that steam was rising like smoke out of her ear. 

 She was dead. 

 No. That wasn’t right. She was still breathing with her body working, despite the flight of its soul. Like Fyester. 

 Was this how he’d left the world, in such agony and with only his recent torturer to comfort him? Was this what I’d let him condemn himself to? 

 Stumbling to my feet with the taste of bile in my mouth, I swept my gaze over the room, lingering on each of the corpses I’d made, and in a morbid act of self-hatred, I created a file in my array’s long-term storage. I gave it no name, only adding one character to it: six. 

 Six deaths that I was responsible for. Six people’s blood on my hands. All of whom I was sure had been innocent, despite their crimes. One of whom I… I’d loved. 

 Why could I only admit that I’d loved Fyester after he was dead? 

 Lifting my hands, I battered the side of my head, covering my mouth hard enough to leave fingermarks, and I screamed and screamed and screamed and- 

 TTS Chapter Thirty-Four

Chapter 35: Will You Tell Me What I Am? 1
I landed the skycruiser far from evushk’s estate. After finding me in the Crescent, Talira had lent me the vehicle, although my memory of the event was hazy. I didn’t remember much about what had happened after Tatum’s ‘death’, just snapshots. 

 Talira stopping me from beating a fist against my skull, pulling me to her all the while. 

 Sitting in the Crescent’s inner layer with mom’s arms wrapped around me and dad yelling at someone I hadn’t cared to note. 

 Feena crouching beneath me with my hands clasped between hers, speaking nonsense words about stories I’d once loved. 

 The entire family sans Pheniks getting me into the skycruiser before Talira had reached over me to input coordinates. 

 I’d returned to myself at some point during the flight, just… dully staring out the windows as first, mountains and then, moors had passed below me. 

 Thank Mother Time that my family hadn’t embroiled Pheniks in any of this. My evils shouldn’t ruin his House naming day for him. 

 Messages were waiting for review in my array, some of them personal and others business-related, but I ignored them as I hiked over the hills with my hands in my pockets and tall grass slapping against my legs. They could wait until tomorrow. Tonight… 

 Hell, I was so disoriented, leaving my training so far behind, that I’d probably mess up something as simple as replying to a message. The only reason I hadn’t lost my way was because my array constantly pointed me toward my destination. 

 When the estate came into view, I slowed to a halt. Did I really want to end my journey there? I could walk away, survive in these hills. With my training, it would be easy. 

 If I stayed the course, continuing in this life, I would participate in far more tragedies than the one I’d caused today. It would eventually consume me, turning me into an unreasoning mess like… 

 Like evushk. Holy shit, that was what had happened in the cabana. He’d been reliving his past. 

 That was why he’d said he was failing as House Kolb’s First Stratus all those years ago. How long could he continue carrying out his duties when the atrocities they’d forced upon him already had him making mistakes? 

 That was why he needed me. 

 Fucking hell, evushk NEEDED me. 

 For the longest while, I couldn’t move while the sun disappeared behind the mountains and a breeze rustled the stalks of grass and my hair. I didn’t know how to describe what was filling me. It was like the glow of happiness, one so strong that it drew tears, but there was something else as well, something I couldn’t pinpoint. 

 The protectiveness of a mother wolf over her pups. The fierce determination of someone doing everything that they must to save their loved ones. It was all of this and more, and it was enough to set me marching toward the estate with my decision made. 

 Evushk was waiting for me outside of its front door with his shadowed profile stark against the lights of his home. I was hesitant as I approached. When I’d sent him away, he’d been angry, which was a tone I’d never heard from him before. His silences occasionally spoke of irritation but anger? Not once in the time I’d known him. I wasn’t sure what he’d do now that I was here, and that had my every sense firing like a live wire. 

 I stopped quite a distance from him, giving myself room to fight if need be, but he didn’t move. 

 “Kuvesk,” he said. 

 Did he want to…? 

 Keeping my eyes on him, I bowed. 

 “Evushk,” I said. 

 Please, say I was right. 

 Something flickered over his face, and his shoulders tightened. He was probably clenching his hands behind his back too. 

 “Get up,” he said. 

 That had been shorter than he typically was with me, but he’d also sounded like his usual, empty self. Pulling myself upright, I copied his stance, even matching the vulnerability of his clasped hands. Just this once, I abandoned my snark, showering him with as much respect as I could give. 

 I couldn’t tell if it was having the desired effect, though. He was back to a machine, guided only by duty and orders. 

 “Are you listening properly, kuvesk?” he asked. 

 Oh, thank Mother Time. I’d been right. He wanted to follow our typical protocol after a mission. 

 “Always, evushk,” I said. “Teach me.” 

 For nearly a minute, he did nothing, but right as I was about to start fidgeting, he raised his fist, lifting a finger from it. 

 “Regarding how a Lutovish citizen caught you unaware,” he said. “You failed to search the room, whether surreptitiously or not, before participating in sexual activity, one of the greatest distractions in existence both for us and the average person. You didn’t immediately incapacitate your adversary following his initial attack, but most importantly, you let love blind you to his intentions. Emotions are anathema to the Lokke Vitras, but of them all, love is the worst. Yes, it may not be forbidden to us, but indulging in it is highly inadvisable, and I believe you might understand why now.” 

 He’d spoken of how emotions hobbled people, and yet, the faintest wisp of flame had burned in those last few sentences. He was on the edge of something, but I wasn’t sure what it was. 

 Cautiously, I said, “I hear your words, evushk.” 

 A second finger sprang out of his fist. 

 “Regarding your tardiness in reaching me beside Lake Voxmore,” he said. “After I gave you your orders, you lingered with your family, your loved ones, making you waste precious time. We can blame the same culprit for your inability to follow orders when inside the cabana. Love.” 

 He’d spat the last word with a flush beginning to bloom across his skin, and I… I thought I might know what this was about. Hell if I’d voice the theory, though. 

 “I hear your words, evushk.” 

 Another finger was raised. 

 “Regarding your actions in the transport and the Crescent,” evushk hissed. “You left your greatest ally behind.” 

 He took a step toward me, reaching for me with his eyes flashing. 

 “You charged into a highly volatile situation, one that you shouldn’t have been able to handle at your level of training. Not alone.” 

 Taking hold of my shirt, evushk pulled me close, lifting me onto my toes, and I forced myself not to resist. 

 “You threw yourself at a damn Dissolver, Zaeden!” 

 Mother fucking Time, he was shouting at me. I didn’t… this had never happened before. What was I supposed to do? 

 “You could have been killed.” 

 Evushk’s voice broke while his hold on me shivered. Shit. 

 At least he’d given me an indication of what to do next. 

 Laying my hand on his arm, I said, “Sacrifice self. House before family. Lutov over all.” 

 With a shaky gasp, evushk released me, and I barely kept from falling. 

 “I’ve taught you too well,” he said. 

 Shaking his head, he strode into the estate, leaving the door open behind him. I accepted his invitation, following him even if I didn’t need to. I already knew where we were going. 

 As soon as I stepped foot in the kitchen, Ace was wriggling his way around my legs. He and his wagging tail did their best to trip me until I crouched, catching him in a hug, and buried my face in his coat. 

 He smelled like a dog, of course, needing a bath soon in fact, but he and this room were the closest things to home that I’d had in years, and after the day I’d had, it had my fingers curling in his fur with a burn in my throat. 

 “Hey, buddy,” I said into his neck. 

 He started squirming, so I let him go, sitting still so he could sniff me. As an added bonus, Ace’s antics gave me time to examine evushk. 

 He’d begun meal preparation, and watching a knife flash at his command, I wondered if he’d been waiting for me to arrive before making dinner. It was late, though. He should have eaten hours ago. 

 Finished with me, Ace padded to his spot on an invisible line, one that we’d designated was the furthest he could come into the kitchen proper, and I turned to my task. When I joined evushk, he pointed me to a pan with a sliver of butter in it and two pork cutlets beside it. I got started with my part of the cooking process, doing my best to ignore the heavy air hanging between us. 

 Evushk used cooking to work out his problems. I thought he found its natural rhythms soothing, although I had no evidence to support this theory, but tonight, he just looked tired. 

 Once he’d prepared his casserole and placed it in the oven, he trudged to the table, and despite the hooks tugging on me, I kept my focus on the frying meat in my pan. After the cutlets had reached an optimal temperature, I removed the pan from its heat source and placed a lid on it. Only then did I face evushk, leaning on the counter as I did. 

 He was sitting on the bench behind the table with his head in his hands, and to me, he looked… defeated. After today’s many changes, another shouldn’t affect me, but seeing the Lokke Vitras… 

 No. Seeing my evushk like this tugged on my heart. 

 Sitting beside him, Ace laid his head in evushk’s lap, ignoring food preparation to comfort his master, and I wished I could do the same, but I was stuck, glued to the counter. When a timer went off for the casserole, I pulled it out of the oven, prepared our plates and drinks, and brought everything to the table. I slid evushk’s dinner in front of him, but he didn’t move, not while I circled the table and not when I sat. I played with my utensils, waiting, until he lowered his hands and started eating. 

 A wall had been erected between us. We were sitting so close to one another that I could feel his body heat, and yet, something was keeping us separate. The clack of forks and knives—our chewing and swallowing—sounded amplified to my ears, and poor Ace felt the tension. After quick sniffs at us both, he slunk to his bed and curled up in it. 

 I didn’t taste my dinner. I knew it was good. Every meal that evushk and I made—except for the occasional experimental one—came out amazing, better than anything a refectory could produce, but I couldn’t focus enough to register its flavor. 

 Evushk appeared to be having the same problem. With his food halfway finished, he rested his utensils on his plate, leaning back in his seat, and I was quick to finish my bite so I could collect our dishes.  

 I sped through clean up, glancing over my shoulder every so often to check on him. Lounging on the bench, he was resting his head on the wall with his eyes closed. I’d think he was asleep if I didn’t know him better. No way would he fall to dreams before securing the room. 

 Once the kitchen was shining, I returned to the table. He hadn’t dismissed me for the evening, yes, but tonight, I had a more important reason for lingering than that alone. 

 It took a while, but eventually, evushk said what was on his mind, refusing to look my way the whole time. 

 “Today showed me something important, not only about you but also me. I’ve been mulling over this revelation while waiting for you to arrive, and I’ve come to a decision about it.” 

 I didn’t like where this was going, but maybe I was reading him wrong. Please, let that be the case. 

 “When I first took you as replacement, I didn’t give you a choice in the matter, even though I… I should have. I want to do so now,” evushk said, turning to me. “If you’d like, you can back out of this. I’ll see that you get whatever Stratus you want in any of the Houses. Give you the chance to live a peaceful life. You don’t have to become the Lokke Vitras.” 

 I’d been right. 

 Shit. 

 TTS Chapter Thirty-Five

Chapter 36: Will You Tell Me What I Am? 2
My barricades against my emotions had yet to be raised again, as evidenced by my narrowing field of view and the sear of my heart. I got to my feet, taking sips of air to calm myself down, but it wasn’t working. He needed to know what I’d decided while standing on the moors, but I didn’t know if I could share it without screaming at him right now. 

 So, I diverted. 

 “You lost it in the cabana today, nearly killed me,” I said. “You couldn’t get yourself under control in the time that it took to return to the city, which meant that I had to leave my strongest asset behind when entering a situation when I most needed him. You let me distract you enough to get the fucking Lokke Vitras locked in a transport. You made nearly as many mistakes as me today, evushk.” 

 Slamming a hand on the table, I shoved a shaking finger in his face. Oh, this diversion wasn’t helping. 

 Evushk glanced from my accusatory finger to my face. 

 “Your point?” he asked. 

 I slammed the other hand down. 

 “My point is that you can’t remain the Lokke Vitras for much longer,” I growled. “How long will it be before you snap, entering a state of constantly reliving the past, and never break free of it? A couple of years? A decade? If you’re to leave this position with any potential for finding happiness, you need someone to replace you soon. You need me. 

 “And your need isn’t just for that far down the road. You need me now too. As you said, emotions like love and guilt may be inadvisable for us, but we still feel them, even if well below the surface, and let’s face it. Being the Lokke Vitras means enduring more hurt in a year than most people do for their entire lives. You… no. We need someone to talk these things through with, someone who understands and won’t judge us. You need me, evushk, and I won’t leave you the moment my training gets tough. Fuck you for suggesting it.” 

 Leaning on the table, I listened as my shout finished its ring in the kitchen and winced. I hadn’t meant for that to come out as harshly as it had. 

 “So be it.” 

 Sliding down the bench, evushk stood, invading my personal space, and I took an instinctual step back. He stopped me by cupping his hands behind my neck. 

 “Maybe you’re right,” he said. “Maybe we need to relax more in private, letting the emotions that we bottle up freely flow. Maybe we need to talk about the horrible things we do, speaking about them when their pressure grows too strong in our heads. I’m willing to try it. Who says the Lokke Vitras can’t adapt to changing circumstances? But for now, we have a protocol to complete, do we not?” 

 He rested his forehead on mine with those gray eyes so close that I could see the brown striations in them, and swallowing, I hung one hand from his elbow while the other found his waist. 

 “Today, you took your first, true step on the road to becoming the Lokke Vitras,” he said. “It churns my stomach to say it, but I’m proud of you, kuvesk. Your first kill was made to bring someone peace. I wish I could say the same for mine. 

 “After having undergone something that no doubt ripped you apart, you proceeded to diffuse the situation in Acceptance Arena in the most efficient way possible. Talira sent me a report on it, and reading about what you did impressed me. You have talent for our work, and even if that work forced you to take more lives, it also led to you saving hundreds of others. They might not know what you did, but those people are alive because of you. You did good today.” 

 With my cheeks burning, I said, “You forgot to mention that I went near-catatonic once it was over.” 

 A faint smile dashed across evushk’s face. 

 “Only to be expected for someone who’s progressed this far into your training,” he said. “Besides, I’m supposed to discuss your achievements right now, not anything that went wrong.” 

 “Oh. That’s right,” I said with a sarcastic lilt to my voice. 

 Chuckling, evushk leaned back, moving his hand to the side of my neck. 

 “There it is,” he said. “I’ve missed your snark.” 

 “Wha-?” 

 His lips silenced me, warm and soft on mine, and after a beat of waiting for my brain and body to catch up, I pulled him to me, just holding him for now. This was comfort, soft pecks on cheeks and noses and foreheads while we tightened our arms around one another. 

 That energy shifted when evushk kissed me again with his hand, resting on the back of my head, pressing me to him. I managed to break away. 

 “Did you-?” I started. 

 “The house is in lockdown mode, yes,” evushk interrupted. 

 His tongue kept mine occupied for a while, and we swept our hands over cloth-wrapped-skin to squeeze and caress and just feel bodies that both of us had grown to know well. When evushk tugged on my slacks, I pulled away again, stopping him with a grip on his wrist. 

 “What about the-?” I asked. 

 “Traps around the house have been set,” he said. “I checked when I got home.” 

 Ripping his captive hand free, he grabbed my waist, turning us so that my back was to the table. Partially pulling my slacks off, he let them fall the rest of the way, and I was sure there was another precaution I should ask about, but it was getting hard to think straight. 

 I tried asking anyway. 

 “Evushk…” I said. 

 He went still before cupping my face. 

 “Don’t call me that. Not here,” he said. “You should use my name-” 

 “Korix?” I asked and at his look of confusion, continued. “My grandmother told me earlier, remember?” 

 “Right,” evushk said. “That’s right, and you’re right. That’s my name, but you, kuvesk, should call me Ko.” 

 Ko. I liked it. A lot, actually. 

 “Only if you call me Zae,” I said. 

 Applying my best teasing grin to my face, I lifted my eyebrows at him, and snarling, he kissed me again, trailing insistent fingers down my body. He lifted me to sit on the table, and I idly swung my legs until he gave me space. 

 “Zae,” he said, breathing my name as if it were something sacred, “who am I to you?” 

 Leaning back on my hands, I cocked my head at him. 

 “You’re Ko,” I said, “perhaps the only person I truly trust.” 

 Evushk… Korix shuddered at his name on my tongue, and shaking it off, he knelt in front of me with his lips quickly finding a much more sensitive perch than my mouth. He’d moved so fast that it caught me by surprise, and I yelped, falling to my elbows. 

 “Oh… fuck. Ko.” 

 While a happy rumble vibrated through me, a distinctly different type of tongue licked at my fingers, and I feebly pushed on Ace’s nose— 

 “Not… mm… now, bud...dy.” 

 —but my mind quickly emptied of anything except an animalistic urge and the pleasure of it being satisfied. 

 When Korix eventually climbed onto the table with a kiss, he tasted like me, which I’d always found an odd sensation. Not enough to dislike what my partner was doing but still odd. 

 “What was that for?” I mumbled. 

 With a hum, Korix brushed his fingers through my hair. 

 “Mostly because I wanted it,” he said, “but also…” 

 He laid his hand on my chest with his comb of my hair turning nervously frenetic. 

 “Also, because you decided to stay,” he whispered. 

 “Mm.” 

 I should probably say something more than that, but my eyelids were growing heavy. 

 “You’ll make me fall asleep like this,” I said, “and I’m not…” 

 I wasn’t done with him. 

 “We’ll just have to fix that, won’t we?” Korix said. 

 Planting his hands beside my head, he leaned down, and Mother Time if he hadn’t gotten to know me well over the years. Within a few seconds, I was wide awake, even if my body was still exhausted. When he sat back on his heels, I groaned. 

 “That’s just mean,” I complained. 

 Spreading his arms, Korix said, “What are you going to do about it?” 

 Lifting my head, I examined him for a moment, calculating what I could accomplish and what he’d let me get away with. Once I was done, I crawled to my knees while Korix watched with a grin playing at his lips, and when I was stable, I launched myself at him, tackling him off the table. 

 At some point, we got worn out and ended up cuddled against each other on the floor with Ace sleeping in a knot against my side. Today had been… 

 It had been all over the place, and I had no doubt that the next few days would be difficult for me, especially when I tracked down Jastin and give him Fyester’s message, but that was the future.  

 Right now, I wouldn’t consider coming troubles. I’d relish this breakthrough between evushk and me that had been years in the making. 

 Speaking of which, I should probably solidify it. 

 Rolling to my side, I kissed his cheek. 

 “I don’t love you, you know,” I said with my lips brushing his skin. 

 Would he understand the hidden meaning in those words, or would he think I was reiterating the lesson that he’d tried so hard to teach me over the years? 

 Facing me, Korix rested his hand on my face. 

 “Oh, Zae. You’re sweet,” he said, brushing his thumb under my eye. “I could never love you either. Not in a million years.” 

 He smiled, and my heart swelled to near bursting. 

 For a week, we were left alone on the estate. For a week, House Kolb’s various Strata picked up the slack for us, even if they didn’t know that was what they were doing. For a week, Korix and I did nothing but read, take Ace on walks, and enjoy one another. 

 Then, we returned to training and missions, but both of us were steadier, more centered, and it showed. When out in Lutov, I occasionally heard the odd rumor about how the Lokke Vitras had lost the brittleness that had once been woven through his empty façade, and Talira, my family… hell, people I hadn’t seen for years said that I looked happier than I’d ever been in my life. That I’d found my purpose. 

 They were right. I’d advanced one step closer to who I’d become. 

 TTS Chapter Thirty-Six

Addendum
Korix and I seemed like a terrible match for many reasons. 

 First of all, he was my teacher, and some thought that a relationship between us would make him go easier on me with my training. 

 It… did not. At all. 

 And of course, no one liked the idea of the Lokke Vitras loving someone, even if he refused to say those precious, three words. 

 But in each other, we found a common spark. I always loved what little time we had together. 

 Mother Time, I miss him. 

 Of course, we had our problems, but they were never the ones that people assumed. When Korix’s instability became known to the public, especially after he relinquished the position of Lokke Vitras and we could call it battle fatigue, people would praise me for staying with him. 

 They never understood. While I hated that he suffered as much as he did, I enjoyed helping Korix. Something about it fulfilled me. 

 Then again, I may just have a thing for damaged men. As you’ve admitted on several occasions, you fit into that category, Elliot. To be fair, I started falling for you long before the events that now have you seeing the silhouettes of the people you’ve killed. 

 And as I’ve said many times over our years together, I’ve killed a lot of people too. I think you can truly understand that now. 

 Fyester… Mother Time, I regret everything that led to his death even now, decades later. 

 I’m sorry if hearing about that disturbed you. I plan on giving you the full truth of me, travesties and all, and we haven’t touched a fraction of the horrible things that I’ve done. I wouldn’t blame you if you set this account aside now. 

 But if you don’t, you’re about to start the opening act of the events that made me the Lokke Vitras. 

 Once again, I’ve skipped several years. Nothing of significance occurred during them, although I probably should have paid more attention to certain clues that I ignored at the time. 

 The only hint I’ll give you of what comes next is that this version of me is about to meet a very special someone, someone I love to this day. 

 I hope you like her. I certainly do. 

 TTS Addendum 

  

Chapter 37: You, Me, and a Bunch of Bad Guys
A shiver ran through the aircraft, rattling stored equipment in its bins, and in the seats closest to the cockpit, our Second Stratus support team tensed, throwing glances over their surroundings. 

 I didn’t know why they’d let the disturbance ruffle them. 

 Sure, House Kolb’s strike ships, affectionately called the Packhorses, might travel most of a flight near where the planet’s atmosphere met the vastness of space, lending to a smooth ride, but us puny humans couldn’t survive up there—not without a ton of help, at least—and when making the descent into more habitable zones, a strike ship was likely to hit patches of turbulence. The Second Strata should be used to this. 

 Maybe they were on edge for another reason. 

 Nudging Korix, I sent off a message. 

 Do you think they’re sitting so far away because they’re scared of us or because they don’t want to disturb ‘the great Lokke Vitras’ and his student? 

 When Korix glanced their way, the Second Strata, who’d been surreptitiously watching us, jerked their gazes away in a comical manner. 

 They’re displaying an appropriate reaction to people like us, those they know are far above their level. 

 I’d… meant what I’d said as a joke, but sure. He could take the question seriously if he wanted, although he was usually better at picking up on my humor than this. 

 Running my eyes over Korix, I pursed my lips. To others, he probably looked like he always did: a blank canvas unless expression was required, a deceptively loose body that could spring into action on command. 

 The utterly capable and infinitely dangerous Lokke Vitras. 

 They, however, didn’t know him. I did. 

 I saw the lips that wanted to pull into a frown as well as the barest of tension in his shoulders and neck, and my hand twitched, so badly did I want to take his. 

 I couldn’t, of course, not with several Second Stratus House Kolb members as possible witnesses. To this point, Korix and I had kept what lay between us a secret from everyone, shukusen Talira included, and neither of us wanted that to change. It was none of their business what we got up to in private. 

 Keeping it secret did occasionally have me or him refraining from providing comfort when the other person needed it, but more versions of comfort existed than the physical alone. With the barest lift of an eyebrow, I sent another message. 

 What’s wrong? Do you need me to do this one alone? 

 As he considered my question, Korix pulled weapons off of his body for inspection before replacing them. Even the bow at his feet got a cursory look over. 

 I’m fine, his reply read. This type of mission simply… bothers me. 

 Which meant he hated them. I poorly strangled a laugh, snorting instead, for which I got a cautioning glance, but I couldn’t help it. Out of everything we did, he found a surgical wipe the most disturbing? 

 Hey, think about all the fun waiting for us once we get home. That should cheer you up, yes? 

 Korix gave in to his lips’ desire, scowling at me. 

 Just because you enjoy events like tonight’s doesn’t mean that I do. 

 Resting an arm on the back of my seat, I turned to him with a cheeky grin. 

 I know. 

 He narrowed his eyes. 

 You’re not helping. 

 My smile widened. 

 I know. 

 When he rolled his eyes at me, I checked on our support team. They were, as one, staring at us, and the tiny prank demon in me giggled when I tilted my head to the side, tweaking my features into a monstrous expression. I didn’t get a chance to observe their reactions, however, as our pilot’s voice soon sounded in the Packhorse’s belly. 

 “Ninety seconds to drop.” 

 I’d freed myself from my harness before she’d finished speaking, slinging my bow over my shoulders and checking my other weapons. Nothing had changed since my last inspection, but ensuring one’s equipment was in perfect condition was always best before going into combat. 

 Once I was finished, I leaned against a hatch, watching people gape at me. Being allowed so much attention for once felt nice. I could do without the average citizen’s hero-worship, but damn if having so many people looking my way didn’t still send a thrill through me. 

 You’ll leave an impression on them. 

 Huffing, I shot my reply to Korix. 

 Why should that matter? Talira will have their memories of this mission extracted from their arrays. I only need to avoid things that I don’t want her to know. 

 Zaeden… 

 Stepping up beside me, Korix gave me a look, one that meant we’d be having a chat later, but I just shrugged at him. By now, he should know that I wouldn’t behave as he wished his kuvesk would. Not anymore. 

 I had my own ideas about how to play the Lokke Vitras role, and he knew this. When my actions truly didn’t matter, I’d been experimenting with this, to his dismay. 

 “Ready, people,” the pilot said. “Drop in five, four, three, two…” 

 The hatch I was leaning against popped open, and I vaulted from it and into the empty air. I badly wanted to whoop, releasing a cry at the delight of a sudden fall, but the mission required silence from me. So, instead of a joyous commencement to what would probably be a bad night, I focused on a patch of highlighted ground, far below me. 

 The mountains to the far east of Escad, one of Ibis’ nations, reached sharply pointed fingers to the sky. To us. This range was nowhere near as tall as the ones in Ostiu, but it was still impressive, especially considering how each individual peak managed to hide my landing site. As needed, I made course corrections with my P.I.G.’s propulsors, but in general, I let gravity drive me toward the ground. 

 Until I needed to slow my speed, of course. Then, it was a matter of fine-tune adjustments, which eventually had me threading through the pine trees to land in the snow. 

 My array reported no body heat emanating nearby, but I performed my own search while waiting for the others. It didn’t take them long—I’d only had a few seconds head start on them—but one by one, they touched down with perfect landings all around, which honestly, I’d expected from Second Stratus House Kolb members. 

 None of them, however, noticed when Korix alighted in a tree rather than the ground. A lucky breeze hid the sway of its branches when he crouched on it. 

 Do you have eyes on their encampment? I sent to him. 

 I’d seen it while diving through the sky and therefore, knew its location relative to ours, but if he had eyes on it, he could probably make out its details. 

 Confirm. More targets than expected. Modifying plan to accommodate. 

 Great… I loved it when our mission intel proved itself faulty. 

 Our support team shifted behind me, probably scanning the sky for their First Stratus. For a moment, I was tempted to fake panic and grief, making them think the Lokke Vitras had died, but not only would that be cruel, but it would also be counterproductive to the mission. 

 Instead, I circled the clearing’s perimeter, keeping my eyes peeled for patrols or scouts. I doubted our targets had sent them out this far, but preparedness led to success. 

 A small scuffle of feet let me know when Korix had joined us with a glance over my shoulder putting him to the right of the clumped Second Strata. Marking his position, I continued with my circuit. 

 “Circumstances have changed,” Korix said. “I’ve sent your new positions to your arrays. Five and Six, you’ll be joining One through Four on target containment. Seven, Eight, and Nine will remain as our snipers. Questions?” 

 They usually didn’t have any, too afraid to speak up, but this time, a tremulous female voice answered him. That was Five, I thought. 

 “Forgive me, Lokke Vitras,” she said, “but my ratings with rifle accuracy and reaction times have recently surpassed Nine’s. I don’t think the change has been added to our records yet.” 

 Interesting. Talira didn’t usually provide us with an unstable support team. Were things ok with her? 

 “True?” Korix asked. 

 “Yes, Lokke Vitras,” a man—Nine, I assumed—said. 

 “Very good. Nine and Five will switch positions, then. Thank you for saying something,” Korix said. “Anything else?” 

 Smoothly done. By turning recognition to Five, he’d diverted people’s attention away from his failing, or at least commenting on it. 

 Because the Lokke Vitras did not make mistakes, even ones as trivial as this. Matching this expectation was one of the role’s most difficult tasks. 

 When no one else spoke up, Korix said, “Then, go. Arrival to positions in three-quarters of an hour. Commencement of mission on my mark.” 

 Several rushes of air indicated our support team’s departure, and after a moment, a direct connection opened in my array. Korix slid his arms over my shoulders, and slouching to make the position more comfortable for him, I absently rubbed them while he rested his chin in the crook of my neck. 

 “Ranged or melee tonight, kuvesk?” he said. 

 His voice had echoed in my head and ears, a wholly unpleasant sensation, but I didn’t let myself wince, shrugging instead. 

 “I don’t have a preference. You know that,” I said. “Which of them do I need more practice with?” 

 “Mm. You’re proficient enough with both, don’t need practice anymore,” Korix said, “but I have a preference, as you know.” 

 “So, I’m melee?” I asked. 

 He rocked his chin on my neck, and with difficulty, I drew my sword and dagger, checking them for a final time. 

 “Have we given them enough of a head start yet?” I said. 

 “Maybe,” Korix said, “but it doesn’t matter either way. If they’re not prepared by the time we arrive, we can wait.” 

 “All right, then,” I said. “Back to mission mode? I’d like to get this over with.” 

 “One last thing.” 

 He kissed me behind the ear, at the hairline, and a shiver rattled up my spine. 

 “Dammit, evushk,” I said. “Are you trying to distract me?” 

 With a soft laugh, Korix released me before straightening. 

 “Your training for the evening,” he said. “Considering your voracious appetite, you’ll have to learn how to ignore your desires sooner or later.” 

 Tilting his head, he smiled at me, and with a shuddering breath, I spun in the direction of the enemy encampment. 

 “Fuck,” I muttered. 

 What might have been a laugh burst into the air as Korix zipped past me, and shaking my head, I chased him. 

 TTS Chapter Thirty-Seven

Chapter 38: Mission's End
House Kolb speed was plenty useful in short stretches, pulling operatives or strike team members away from killing blows, but using it for more than a minute at a time was difficult. The human brain couldn’t keep up with a body moving at speeds that could look like teleportation. If one maintained the technique for too long, several consequences could visit themselves upon the one using it. 

 For one thing, my people’s enhanced healing rate couldn’t handle the damage that the ability caused. Theoretically, someone could use House Kolb speed to run from one end of Lutov to the other, but by the end of the sprint, that person’s muscles would be shredded beyond repair, at the least. 

 In addition, adjusting to that speed while avoiding obstacles could lead to hazardous accidents. Many were the tales of House Kolb members who’d lost a limb because of it. 

 These dangers were why we’d given our support team a head start, as they’d need to take breaks between bursts of speed. 

 Korix and I didn’t have that need. Instead, we used something slightly less treacherous than House Kolb speed to maintain the skill for as long as we needed it. 

 Shortly after placement, everyone in House Kolb learned a specific mental regimen. It was the only way to fight iisen without getting slaughtered, like I almost had years before. 

 House Kolb members had an addition to their arrays, one that predicted magic use before it occurred and displayed this as a flare in their vision. Unfortunately, the time between when a flare ignited and magic began had never extended beyond a single second, which was useless for humans under normal conditions. The mental regimen, however, let someone react to such a short warning period. 

 It involved an absence of thought. Without thought to burden the mind, instinct—that most primal of senses—was allowed free reign. 

 The only problem with using the regimen was that most people couldn’t voluntarily leave the state, and the conditions needed to pull someone free of it could be unpredictable at best. 

 As one might expect, a state that relied on instinct greatly lengthened how long someone could use House Kolb speed, although it still had its limits. As one might also expect, Korix and I had mastered this mental regimen. 

 So, as we raced toward the encampment, I wasn’t completely there. Snippets floated down to where I was buried, far below the surface. A tree limb barely jumped; my bisection avoided. Leaves slapping at my face, leaving their plant fiber in my eyes. 

 But besides that, I knew nothing between leaving a clearing high in the mountains and stepping into a valley with nothing but grass and a creek between me and a camp full of unsuspecting children of Ibis. 

 The Escadese had formed a neat conglomeration of tents, wagons, supplies, and bedrolls, but that was what happened when one came from a nation that we Lutovish near constantly forced into war. I counted a little over thirty heat signatures, which was almost a third more than expected, but most of them appeared to be sleeping, leaving four as lookouts. 

 Korix and I could perhaps eliminate this many enemies by ourselves, but Talira wanted us to make this wipe look like another group of Escadese had attacked the encampment. I was guessing she hoped that when the rebels saw their fellow children of Ibis had chosen to oppose them, they’d stop cooperating with the people manipulating them. 

 Mother Time, how often would divisions in Vaessa’s ranks mess with these poor people? 

 What that meant for us? We’d have to use primitive weapons, like swords and bows, against people who would be using loaned Lutovish tech, hence why we had a support team. Knowing snipers were watching one’s back was always nice, even if a part of me was constantly watching for treachery from them. The few children of Ibis they picked off would likely be blamed on friendly fire. 

 As for the other Second Strata, they’d make sure that none of our targets escaped. No one could contain so many people by themselves, not even the Lokke Vitras. 

 When I checked the time, I found that a half-hour had passed and looked to Korix as to whether we could start. After an absent moment, one probably spent checking statuses in his array, he nodded, and our mission began in truth. 

 As we approached, I took point while a nearby stream covered what little noise we made. With probable lines of sight mapped out, sneaking up on the first lookout was simplicity itself. 

 Pressing my hand over the woman’s mouth, I slit her throat before smoothly lifting the body into a nearby wagon. I repeated the process twice more without incident, but on the fourth try, the distinctive whistle and squelch of an arrow’s concluded flight sounded from behind me. 

 Fumbling with my recent kill, I grabbed a man with a shaft of wood sticking out of his eye before he could fall, but I wasn’t so lucky with the pistol he’d been holding. It thumped to the ground, releasing an energy bolt that missed my head by a hairsbreadth, and I dropped my burdens, drawing my sword. 

 “Coming from your right,” Korix calmly said over our connection. 

 Racing that way, I hid behind the first spot of cover I could find, listening for footsteps. 

 “Eight hostiles,” Korix said. “I’ll take the three furthest from you.” 

 Nodding, I readied myself. 

 When a blob of heat reached my hiding spot, I surged to my feet, biting my sword’s point under a woman’s ribcage while thrusting my dagger through the jaw of the man beside her. As they fell, I lashed out, carving open the belly of someone behind them, and reversing my swing, I chopped into the join between the neck and shoulder of a short woman on the edge of the group. After throwing my dagger into my last target’s throat, I hurried to retrieve it, stabbing the man I’d disemboweled to end his suffering. 

 Three bodies formed a pile on the far side of my kills, and I’d opened my mouth to thank Korix when another of his arrows whizzed over my head, felling an enemy I’d failed to note. 

 “Focus, kuvesk,” he said. “Eighteen targets remain, gathering near the center of camp. Come in from the south. I’ll take position to the northwest.” 

 “Confirm,” I said. 

 When I reached the middle of the encampment, the children of Ibis were waiting for me in an organized circle with their rifle and pistol barrels pointed in every direction, which was just great. Mother Time, this confrontation would have been so much easier if we could use tech. One suppression grenade thrown into that circle’s midst would send everyone to sleep, and elimination afterward would be simple. 

 But no. Talira had said no tech whatsoever, not even what we could easily retrieve. 

 “I’ll draw their fire,” Korix said. “You attack once they’re distracted.” 

 I didn’t like this plan. Bow and arrow against Lutovish weapons wasn’t a good match-up. 

 Then again, neither was a sword pitted against rifles and pistols, and Korix could handle himself. 

 “Confirm,” I said. “On your go.” 

 As if waiting for my words, arrows sped, one after the other, for the children of Ibis, bringing two of them down before I’d set foot in the open. 

 They never saw me coming. I was destruction among them, a flurry of motion and violence, and as I worked, a few energy bolts flew into the conflict rather than out, our snipers doing their job. 

 Once most of their comrades had gone down, the survivors took off, and I dropped the poor man who’d served as my meat shield throughout the fight. Energy bolts had blackened his body, and wincing at the sight, I scanned my surroundings. 

 And saw something from my worst nightmare. 

 Korix had gone limp on his feet with his bow on the ground, a precursor to a retreat into his past, and behind him, a child of Ibis—smart bastard—was holding glinting metal above his head. 

 “Evushk!” I shouted. 

 I couldn’t throw my dagger. Korix was in the way, and even as I took off for him, I knew I wouldn’t make it. The child of Ibis would land a killing blow, and my evushk, my… he’d die. 

 From where I locked it during missions, gibbering panic began pouring forth. 

 A sniper’s bolt knifed through the child of Ibis, and he fell, which had relief punching me so hard that I nearly tumbled to the ground. 

 Hell, that had been close. 

 Tensing, Korix whirled with a knife magically appearing in his hand, and when he found no enemies around him, he glanced at the corpse at his feet. 

 “Nice shot, Five,” he said. 

 But I heard this only in my ears, not my head. He must have established a direct connection with the support team, cutting ours while he’d spun. 

 “Good job, everyone,” he continued. “I’ve called for pickup. They’ll be here in a few minutes, so have your mag hooks ready.” 

 After he’d noticed me, Korix headed my way, and when I raised an eyebrow, he shook his head, jerking a hand in front of his throat. His message came through a breath later. 

 I’m fine. It’s under control. For now. 

 Nodding, I frowned when he came close enough for me to pick out details. I plucked at the jaggedly burned edge of a gash in his sleeve, wincing when I saw the charred flesh beneath it. 

 Did you know you were wounded? 

 While he glanced at the burn, I pulled him into one of the nearby tents. 

 Must have been a stray shot. I didn’t feel it. 

 Removing my shirt, I shoved it at him before requesting my rifle, but Korix took my wrist before I could aim my weapon at my arm. 

 “What are you doing?” he hissed. 

 Rolling my eyes, I jerked free of him. 

 The Lokke Vitras must be perfect in all things but most especially in a fight, a flawless weapon of death. You’ve already had one hit against that reputation tonight, and while these Second Strata’s memories will be wiped of it, we can’t easily stop people from noting your injury after we get home. So, give me your damn shirt. Thank Mother Time that we wear basically the same clothes. 

 Hell, Korix’s face had pinched at my conclusions, but he did as I said while I singed my arm. His burn would probably heal before we reached Lutov, negating the need for mine, but I’d rather be safe with this pretense. 

 While an energy bolt seared my nerve endings, my vision sparked, and to distract myself from the pain, I sent a message Korix’s way. 

 Why do you hate missions like this? 

 He ripped his gaze off of my arm, moving it to the tent’s opening and the bodies that we could see through it. 

 I don’t like killing the children of Ibis. They can’t help their situation, and it wasn’t so long ago that we worked with them. That collaboration may have ended with the Upheaval, but who can say which side caused that disaster? I sometimes wonder what they might have become if together, we hadn’t messed with things beyond our comprehension. Their lost potential and Vaessa’s poor treatment of them make me… reluctant to accept these missions. 

 “I understand,” I said. 

 Twisting toward me, Korix narrowed his eyes. 

 Are you being snarky? Because much as I like your snark, I don’t like having it directed at subjects I actually care about. 

 I couldn’t blame Korix for his defensiveness about this. Not many people back home cared about Ibis and the people who lived here. In fact, most of them thought that anyone who did care had something wrong with them. So instead of acting flippant, something I might normally do, I resorted to a genuine reply, shaking my head. 

 I’m serious. The Ibisian deaths hurt more than the others do. They’re people, and we treat them like garbage. I don’t like enforcing the practice, but how do we solitary people help them? CAN we? 

 He would know what I’d meant. As stated, Ibis was left as a side note for most people in the homeland, and that alone—what seemed like a lost cause—would be enough to stop many people from helping its residents. 

 I wasn’t asking about that, though. I was asking if he, as the Lokke Vitras, or I, as his replacement, could change things. Could we refuse these missions, ones meant to keep Ibis under Lutov’s boot? 

 If we did, what would happen? Despite how it might seem, checks and balances were in place for the Lokke Vitras. How much trouble could Korix or I cause before the shukusenth sent House Kolb, in its entirety, to kill us? Indomitable as we might sometimes appear, we couldn’t fight so many highly trained people, especially if they came at us all at once. 

 For a long while, Korix just stared at me before sighing. 

 Enough of this. We’ll miss our ride home if we linger for much longer. 

 Striding outside, he removed his mag hook from his belt. I did the same, and together, we watched the sky. 

 Korix nudged me. 

 Do we need to talk once we have a moment alone? 

 Slowly nodding, I said, “That might be for the best. Let’s finish with tonight’s activities first, though, shall we?” 

 In the distance, a shape blocked out the stars, and my array started providing viable attraction points for me to choose from. As soon as the Packhorse was flying low enough, I aimed my mag hook, and once an attraction had set, I shot into the sky, quickly approaching the strike ship’s open hatch. 

 As the ground fell away beneath me, I peered between my feet, watching a massacred encampment retreat until it disappeared from view. 

 TTS Chapter Thirty-Eight

Chapter 39: Aren't These Things Fun?
Korix looked ravishing at the moment. In black dress pants and a button-down shirt with a wine-red tie to accent it, he’d look amazing enough, but the coat he was wearing, falling to the calf with a shiny, black exterior and a lining to match the tie, only added to the ensemble. 

 It was like he’d chosen an outfit that would most accent his features. Against it, his eyes and hair were accentuated while his cheeks’ natural color stood out. 

 I rarely got to see him in formal wear, and even if it was old-fashioned in taste, as tonight’s event required, it still… 

 Damn. Kill me now for I had seen perfection. 

 “Stop looking at me like that,” Korix said. 

 He was standing beside the skycruiser, occasionally flicking a finger through the air. Probably adding comments to my report on our mission. Considering he’d slept on the ride home and we’d rushed to get ready after landing, this was probably the first chance he’d had to look at it. 

 “You don’t like knowing that I want you?” I asked. 

 I was leaning on the front end of the skycruiser with my chin in my hands and my body swaying as if I had a cat’s tail. 

 …Interesting image. 

 Korix gave me a scathing glare, at which I smiled. Those didn’t scare me anymore. 

 “We’re not supposed to know one another, remember?” he said. “In fact, you know what? You should head inside. People will talk if we arrive at the same time.” 

 And we didn’t want that to happen. 

 I was, frankly, amazed that I still had anonymity in Lutov. The only ones who knew for sure that I was the Lokke Vitras to come were the shukusenth and my family. Bless my loved ones for keeping their mouths shut about that. 

 I had no doubt that other people suspected, namely anyone who’d attended my House naming ceremony, but to date, none of them had breathed a word of me. 

 So, yes, Korix was right. I should head inside. 

 Pushing off of the skycruiser with a sigh, I paused for a moment. 

 “Do try to have fun. Please,” I said. “And remember. I left your change of clothes in the manager’s office. Signal me when you’re ready to leave, and I’ll meet you there.” 

 Grimacing, Korix said, “I’d normally only stay here long enough to make my obligatory appearance, but for you, I’ll make an effort tonight. I know you like these things.” 

 I flourished a bow. 

 “Thank you, oh most generous evushk,” I said. 

 “Get out of here,” Korix groaned, waving a hand. 

 Chuckling, I trotted two steps into the dark before he pulled me up short again. 

 “Zae?” he said. “You look nice too.” 

 Damn right I did. I looked fucking stunning, and that was not reflected in Korix’s gaze. 

 Pouting, I said, “Are you sure? Because from where I’m standing, you could be looking at a pile of dirt right now.” 

 “You and your ego,” Korix said with an explosive sigh. 

 Lifting his head to the sky, he shook it. 

 “You are the most delightful sight that I’ve laid eyes on in decades,” he said, “and later, I’ll prove it to you.” 

 He met my eyes before I could stop my face’s flush, and his lips twitched. 

 “For now, join the party,” he said. “Enjoy the attention they’re sure to pay you.” 

 I’d stumble in my words if I spoke, so I dipped my head to him before moving once more into the night. 

 The park at the center of Xygek was quiet tonight with those uninvited to the ball too preoccupied with their own parties to sneak past this place’s formidable security measures. Korix had set us down not far from Acceptance Arena, so it didn’t take me long to go from the dark of nature’s night to civilization’s illumination. 

 The Crescent always prompted a queasy mix of feelings in me. Every time I saw it, I remembered how many lives I’d saved on a horrible day, so many years ago, and the warmth of this nearly had me vibrating with happiness and pride, but at the reminder of that day, the empty eyes of Fyester and several House Cerullis members stared at me and… 

 Hell, it still hurt like a newly inflicted wound, even this long after it had happened. 

 Tonight, the Crescent lit everything with its glow, making it a bastion against darkness. Tonight, people streamed toward it, clogging one layer of the security meant to keep the undesired away. 

 Tonight was the Founder’s Day Ball. 

 In the far distant past, Lutov’s Founders had formed a coalition to resist those from beyond the stars, and after years of war, they’d eventually pushed those alien beings off of our planet.  

 I’d always wondered how they’d done it. The events of that age had long been lost to time with only fantastical, obviously untrue legends left behind. The people of that era couldn’t have been both as primitive as today’s children of Ibis and advanced enough to have planes for flying in aerial combat. 

 I’d probably never learn how they’d resisted our enemy. My only chance at that lay in The Library, Lutov’s most highly guarded store of knowledge, and I wouldn’t have access to that place for… 

 Hopefully, for a while. 

 But that was for the future. Right now, what mattered was the result of that long-ago war. The day that six formerly hostile families had put aside their differences to handle a larger threat had been celebrated throughout the millennia, the one holiday recognized across Lutov. 

 Considering that, it was only natural that the event had become something of a spectacle with the greatest of the day’s extravagances taking place here at the Founder’s Day Ball. Only the highest of Strata and the most influential of people were invited to this. It had, in fact, become one reason why many Lutovish struggled to achieve elevation. 

 I’d never known that sense of desperation. As part of shukusen Talira’s family, I’d been attending these balls since I was a child. Even the door guards, almost always the same from year to year, knew my face by now. 

 Seeing me coming, no one blocked my path when I swept through the people getting their identities checked. Their disgruntled murmurs put a smirk on my face as I strode into the Crescent. 

 Tonight, the place looked like a building from an entirely different era. The wall between the inner and outer layers had come down, turned immaterial to make Acceptance Arena’s gathering space larger. Pillars and gold-leaf filigrees created points of interest along the other walls, illusions cast into guests’ arrays. The dais and six shukusenth chairs, the focal point of House naming ceremonies, hadn’t been touched, although someone had added a few ice sculptures and holographic light displays to it. 

 Several buffet tables, draped in the most ornate of fabrics, provided refreshments with volunteers manning most of them. The middle ground had been left open, although a few cocktail tables dotted it, but the central-most portion of the floor was home to the most dazzling combination of plants and tech that I’d seen in a while. 

 Around it, a dance floor stood empty, but with the lack of music in the air, its vacancy only made sense. Right now, only the dull roar of many voices filled the Crescent. 

 Along its edges, plainclothes security members were mingling with guests, and once I’d come inside, I sidled toward one of them: a woman in a skintight jumpsuit with a geometric pattern covering it. She barely acknowledged my approach, too busy scanning the crowd for trouble to indulge in that. 

 “I see you’ve also defied the tradition of wearing clothing from millennia ago,” I said. 

 My sister hummed at me with frustration evident in her tone. 

 “I’m busy, Zae,” she said. “Don’t distract me.” 

 “Didn’t you recently get elevated to Fourth Stratus?” I said. “You should be able to handle a conversation while keeping watch for danger.” 

 “Maybe with most people,” Feena said. “Not with you.” 

 Hell, that stung. Did she really think I’d attack her? 

 “I just need to know where the family is,” I said. 

 “You don’t already know?” Feena grumbled. 

 Ok. She was clearly upset about something. Sure, we hadn’t seen each other much since Pheniks’ House naming ceremony, but I’d kept in touch with her and our brother via messages and direct connections since then. Where was this hostility coming from? 

 “No, I don’t,” I said. “Have I upset you? You seem… unhappy with me.” 

 Finally, she looked at me with her features softening once she had. 

 “It’s not you,” she said. “I got some bad news earlier, is all.” 

 Oh, no. Bad news? Hopefully, it was something small but still. 

 “Anything I can help with?” I asked. 

 “Thanks, but I can handle it on my own,” Feena said. “I appreciate you offering, though.” 

 “Of course. I’m here if you want to talk about it.” 

 Without bothering to reply, Feena slid her attention back to watching for trouble. 

 “Mom and dad are with Talira right now. She insisted on having some family time with them,” she said. “Phen’s with his House Zan buddies around the buffet table closest to the dais. He’s been picking at its food all night, the lucky bastard.” 

 I had my two points to avoid. They’d no doubt move throughout the evening, but over the years, tracking targets through recorders had become second nature to me. Keeping away from the rest of the family should be simple. 

 I didn’t want to go near Pheniks because he was currently challenging for House Zan’s First Stratus position, and an association with someone from Kolb, even family, would hurt his chances. I wouldn’t become a stumbling block for my brother, not when he’d flown so far. 

 Every day, I thanked Mother Time that he’d listened to my advice about his House naming. I’d always known he’d excel if placed in the right setting, and watching him gain a sense of self-confidence since escaping from House Kolb’s influence had been gratifying. 

 The reason I was avoiding my parents was much simpler. Over the years, they’d made it abundantly clear that they didn’t want me in their lives. I didn’t blame them for pushing me away, only wishing they’d see that their beliefs about me and my position were misguided, but that was unlikely to happen. 

 “Thanks, Feena,” I said. “Do you want me to grab you something? Getting stuck on security detail is the worst, I know.” 

 Perking up, Feena grabbed my arm. 

 “I’m starving,” she said. 

 “Got it. Bring Feena food,” I said with a chuckle. “Any special requests?” 

 Shaking her head, Feena released me. 

 “You know what I like,” she said. 

 “That I do.” 

 I bowed to her. 

 “I shall return shortly, honorable Fourth Stratus.” 

 Her face soured before I whirled away from her, plunging into the thick of the party. 

 TTS Chapter Thirty-Nine

Chapter 40: Two Random Encounters
Even though it was still early, people had filled the Crescent, and clumps of them were congesting normally easy to traverse pathways. While I ducked and dodged my way through them, I admired the wide range of aesthetics presented tonight. Almost everyone was wearing the suits and dresses that had been popular in millennia past, but their cut and color varied wildly, although the typically vibrant Lutovish rainbow was muted tonight. 

 While I approached a nearby banquet table, music rose from behind me with a shift in the crowd moving it toward the dance floor. What a stroke of luck. As space opened up around me, I relaxed my guard the barest amount. 

 After the many years that I’d trained with evushk, I was no longer comfortable with having this many people around me, doubly so when I had little room to maneuver. It had sapped a fraction of my love for these events from me, and knowing that Korix had balanced this anxiety with possible fun for centuries, I could understand why he was so reluctant to attend social gatherings like this. Would I be like him when I reached his age? 

 There was no point in worrying about that now. Better to seize every moment of happiness that I could find instead, holding them close to my heart. 

 Humming along with the music, I breezed around my food selections, weighing each option. I saw plenty of delicacies that Feena would love here. I also saw things she’d hate. Was watching her face screw up with distaste worth making a second trip through the crowd? 

 “You’re Talira’s grandson. Zaeden, right?” 

 With my decision made, I took a plate from its stack while considering the man at my side. I knew him, but in this context, I wasn’t sure if I should. 

 “That’s me,” I cautiously said. 

 When I began making my way down the table, my new shadow followed me. 

 “I appreciate you respecting my wish to stay anonymous. I’ll do the same for you in return,” he said. “You’re welcome, however, to use my name.” 

 Forcing my hands to remain steady, I reached for one of Feena’s favorites. 

 “How can I help you, Alezand?” I asked. 

 Ever since a Dissolver had nearly destroyed this place, I’d… disliked occupying the same room as House Cerullis’ shukusen. After that incident, Korix had thoroughly investigated both him and his House as soon as we’d returned to duty. His conclusions once he was finished? Either what had controlled Fyester and the incident’s other culprits no longer existed or we’d misjudged what we’d seen. Fyester and the rest had planned the downfall of Cerullis’ sister Houses alone. 

 Now, I trusted Korix. If he told me to cross into the Tainted Expanse, I’d do it without hesitation because he wouldn’t risk me without a good reason, but I knew what I’d seen before Fyester died. 

 Korix said that I’d let my love for him color my memory of my last moments with him, and maybe he was right. It didn’t lessen my suspicion or aversion for Alezand. 

 “How about we start with you giving me your full attention, young warrior?” he said. 

 Carefully, I rested my plate on the table before facing him. 

 For someone striving to keep his identity hidden, Alezand stood out appearance-wise. He’d tinged his skin blue with darker splotches serving as freckles while his eyes’ pupils completely ate their irises, and no hair peeked from his scalp. Add to that the silver of his eyebrows and one had an unusual physique to examine, and that wasn’t touching on what he was wearing. 

 “My apologies,” I said. “I wasn’t trying to offend you.” 

 Surprise cascaded over Alezand’s face. 

 “Oh, no!” he said. “I wasn’t offended, and you weren’t doing anything wrong. I just wanted to make sure that you hear what I have to say.” 

 Did he not understand what I was? Every word he spoke would be recorded—in my memory, not my array—for later review. I’d have done the same thing whether I’d been focused on him or not. 

 Mother Time, I’d forgotten how annoying dealing with members of any House but Kolb could be. 

 “I’m listening,” I said. 

 Alezand shifted in place, nervously rubbing his hands together. 

 “Have we been introduced before?” he asked. 

 “I’ve seen you at House assemblies,” I said, “but no, we haven’t. Not properly, at least.” 

 Grimacing, Alezand said, “I’m sorry for that. I should have done so before now, considering how often we’ll be working together in the future.” 

 May it be less rather than more. 

 “Considering how busy you are, I expected the delay,” I said. “Forgive me, but do you need something from me? I promised my sister relief for her empty stomach.” 

 When I gestured at my abandoned plate, Alezand winced. 

 “Mother Time, I didn’t realize. I’m sorry,” he said. “I only wanted to invite you to my House’s headquarters when next you can come. I have a few items to discuss with you. Nothing to do with politics! Among other concerns, we’re considering a member of my House for elevation. I’d hoped to get your input before making a decision about that.” 

 “Do I know them?” I asked. 

 I hadn’t associated with many Cerullis members since… then. Why would Alezand think I had an opinion on his candidate? 

 “You’ve had dealings with him in the past, I believe,” he said. “Jastin, Fifth Stratus?” 

 The name was a slap in the face. Sent reeling by it, I struggled to keep my turmoil behind a pleasant mask. 

 Once again, I watched myself share Fyester’s fate with Jastin. After I’d told him that I’d brought his partner peace, I watched him leap to attack me, only stopped by Korix intercepting him. I heard my evushk’s barked command to let him handle the rest. I felt the sickening guilt and pain that had left me sobbing in the skycruiser while waiting to leave. 

 Did Alezand know who Jastin was to me? 

 “I can’t promise to be impartial,” I said. 

 “Of course not,” Alezand said with a smile. “Who’s impartial about anyone they know?” 

 “So long as you’re aware,” I said. “I’ll visit soon. Was there anything else?” 

 Showing me his palms, Alezand shook his head. 

 “That was all,” he said. “I’ll let you get back to the celebration.” 

 “Thank you,” I said. “It was a pleasure to meet you.” 

 Oh, how lies rolled like truths off of my tongue now. 

 “To you as well,” Alezand said. 

 Cerullis’ shukusen inclined his head to me before merging with the ball’s guests, and I watched him go until he’d disappeared. What had that been about? Except for Talira, none of the other shukusenth had gone out of their way to speak with me, making it their general policy to ignore my existence. Anything out of the ordinary like this put me on edge. 

 Did Alezand know that I suspected him and his House of something underhanded? But how could he? I hadn’t voiced those suspicions to anyone, not even Korix, in years. 

 Hopefully, I could learn more when I visited Cerullis’ headquarters, and maybe, just maybe, I could inquire about the events that had led to the Crescent Incident, enough to satisfy me that Korix’s conclusions were as correct as I knew them to be. 

 When I returned to filling Feena’s plate, a hush fell over Acceptance Arena, spreading until only music disturbed it, and I hid a smile. Korix had made his entrance. How badly was his skin crawling beneath that empty facade that he always presented? He never had liked people paying attention to him, the poor thing. 

 By the time I’d finished with Feena’s plate, the ball’s activities had resumed, leaving Korix purposefully ignored unless someone had business with him or he initiated a conversation. He wouldn’t do the second thing, save for what was needed for appearances. I swore to Mother Time; he’d have more fun at these things if he tried to participate. 

 Shaking my head, I braved the tight confines of milling men, women, and other people with my bounty held close to my chest. With the crowd spreading onto the dance floor, the press here had lessened somewhat. Pockets of breathing space were sprinkled across this cluster, lingering around the edge, and I took a path through as many of those as possible, using the time needed to cross them to assess for hostile behavior. 

 Damn. I was getting paranoid. 

 While I was moving through one of these pockets, someone stepped into my path, and I rocked onto my toes to avoid running into her. Short, she looked up at me with the fiercest expression on her face, narrowing her eyes at me with her lips pulled into a fierce frown. 

 The silver crown of her hair melted into a soft magenta at its ends, hanging in a bun below her ear, and a rash of prominent freckles over her nose and cheeks continued down her neck and over her shoulders. Presumably, they added delightful character elsewhere as well, but her attire for the evening kept that hidden. 

 A white leotard with lace at the neckline accented her well-defined figure while black thigh-highs and heels showed off her legs. Over this, an open-front dress draped and flared with its deep purple color accenting her hair. The hue lightened as it approached mid-calf while silver embroidery along every hem glinted in the Crescent’s light. A thick belt at the waist and black gloves completed the ensemble, and at the sight of it all, I was stuck ogling it and her. 

 Whoever this woman was, she’d managed to blur the line between old-fashioned and modern styles, and in a rather appealing way as well. 

 She finished her inspection of me first, snapping her eyes to mine— 

 “You’ll do.” 

 —and as she took my hand, dragging me through the crowd, I realized that in my surprise, I’d failed to determine how much of a threat she might be to me: whether she was hiding weapons under her clothes and the like. I tried to do that now, but the attempt was made difficult by our need to squeeze through other people. 

 “Um… excuse me?” I said. “Who are you? Do you need something?” 

 Never relenting in her insistent tug on me, she called over her shoulder. 

 “Yes. A dance partner.” 

 We stepped out from the crowd and into a group of couples, sweeping one another around a centerpiece of light and greenery. The dance floor. And she’d said she needed a… 

 It had been years since evushk had last tested me in how to turn one’s body into art. Also, I was still holding Feena’s snack. 

 “I’m… flattered, but another person might best serve your-” I started. 

 With more strength than I’d expected from a woman her size, she hauled me in front of her, and as she rested a hand on my shoulder, extending our clasped hands to the side, I was left awkwardly holding a plate rather than grasping her waist. Confusion momentarily rested in the woman until she darted her eyes to my impediment, and then, a mischievous smile replaced it. 

 “Just keep up,” she said. 

 She slid to the side, twirling under my looped arm, and if I wanted to stay on my feet, I was forced to follow. Dipping and spinning, she performed so many different dance moves, and I barely stayed with her. 

 It was clear who was in the lead, considering how often she pulled us out of the way of other couples, but within a minute, this balance shifted. I gained my rhythm with my body remembering moves that I’d forgotten, and soon, we were in sync. 

 Neither of us took a role in this silent conversation. We just danced with one another, taking cues from our opposite. With a smirk, she changed styles halfway through a step. With an answering grin, I forced her into a complicated maneuver, giving her little help to complete it. 

 All the while, a plate changed hands or briefly hovered in the air with nothing on it spilling. 

 It was like I’d slipped into an old, favored habit: effortless and simple, and yet, I felt as if I’d returned to one of evushk’s most difficult training sessions. The challenge of it made my heart race with the world fuzzing around me until it was only me, her, and a plate of food. 

 I didn’t hear the music fall to silence. All I noticed was the woman drawing our dance to a close, and when we stopped, I was out of breath while giddiness bounced in me with every heave of air. 

 Stepping back, I bowed to the woman, moving through the steps needed to give her my Favor, short of cupping my neck. When I rose, applause broke on my ears, and I glanced around, noting that the dance floor was empty except for us and a ring of people, avidly watching. 

 How long had we been dancing? 

 I directed short bows to the audience, cringing the entire time, while the woman stared at them with her arms crossed. When she stormed off, I scrambled to follow, threading through people until we’d found a quiet spot. 

 “Thank you,” she said, rounding on me. “No one but my instructors have matched me like that in years.” 

 “It was no problem. Nothing’s tested me like you in… oh, I don’t remember when the last time was,” I said. “It was fun.” 

 For some reason, she found this amusing, showing me her teeth while extending a hand. 

 “I’m Leski,” she said. 

 Shaking her hand, I said, “Zaeden.” 

 She raised an eyebrow. 

 “No House?” 

 “You didn’t give one,” I said. 

 “That’s because I’m unHoused, although that will change this year,” Leski said. “I don’t have a House.” 

 Tilting my head to the side, I said, “Neither do I.” 

 “You’re unHoused?” Leski asked. “I thought I knew all of us.” 

 And I grinned. 

 “Did I say that?” I asked. 

 Frowning, she stared at me for a moment before laughing, a delighted tinkle that ended with an uncontrolled snort. She threw a hand over her nose and mouth, even as she smiled. 

 “Oh, I like you,” she said. 

 “I’m glad to hear it,” I said. “Some people find my attitude… annoying.” 

 Leski scowled, which caught me off guard. I’d never changed someone’s opinion of me so quickly before. 

 “Please excuse me,” she said. “My father wants me to join him.” 

 That explained the change in demeanor. Was she not on good terms with her father? 

 “It was nice to meet you, Zaeden,” she continued. “I hope to see you again someday.” 

 “That would be wonderful,” I said. 

 She gave what I was holding a significant glance. 

 “Maybe get that food to whoever it’s meant for before it gets cold?” she said. 

 Oh. I’d completely forgotten about Feena. Shit. 

 “I think that might be a lost cause,” I said. 

 Laughing, Leski turned away. 

 “Good luck with revitalizing it, then,” she said. 

 “Thanks.” 

 With a flutter of her fingers, she let the crowd eat her, and I licked my lips. What had that been? 

 Starting for another banquet table, I considered the question for a moment but decided to simply leave it as a nice encounter. 

 Something appropriate for what today was and nothing more. 

 TTS Chapter Forty

Chapter 41: Of Course We Are, Dummy
When I returned to Feena, she looked grumpy rather than just acting like it. I cautiously approached her with my offering, keeping my eyes peeled for the fiery dragon that she sometimes became. 

 “Took you long enough,” she grumbled, tearing into her food. 

 “Sorry. I got distracted,” I said. 

 “I saw,” Feena said. 

 Swallowing, she pointed a fork at the refilling dance floor. 

 “Do you know who your dance partner was?” she asked. 

 “I didn’t think I needed to check her identity,” I said. “Why?” 

 Waving at me, Feena said, “Just be careful if you meet her again. Other than that, don’t worry about it. It doesn’t matter.” 

 Ok… I might find my sister’s warning more ominous if I had the slightest chance of running into Leski again, but given my life, that didn’t seem likely. Best to leave it be. 

 While Feena sucked down my gifted snack, I stayed with her. I couldn’t go near Pheniks, our parents, or Korix, and for some reason, I found myself… lonely. I needed someone I loved nearby. 

 “Have you read my message yet?” Feena asked once she’d finished eating. 

 Leaning on the cocktail table, I shook my head. 

 “Evushk and I have either been in Ibis or traveling all day,” I said. 

 “Is that what the pull on resources was for?” Feena asked. “Did Talira finally send you to deal with our latest crop of rebels?” 

 When I remembered what we’d left in Escad, my mood soured. 

 “You know I can’t talk about it,” I said. 

 “Right. Sorry,” Feena said, “and I’m sorry for snapping at you earlier. Just because my morning was shit doesn’t change today’s significance.” 

 “It doesn’t matter,” I said. “I’m grateful that you and Phen sent me kind words earlier, but sooner or later, today must become like any other day for you two. Well, besides it being Founder’s Day, of course.” 

 “Zaeden…” Feena sighed. 

 A shadow fell over the table from behind me. 

 “Why is today so special?” 

 While I relaxed into a puddle on the tabletop, Feena stiffened, rigidly fixing her eyes above my head. 

 “I thought we weren’t supposed to come near one another tonight,” I said. 

 “No one can see me. I’m using a camouflage disk, one of the few techniques I haven’t taught you yet,” Korix said. “Why make missions easy for you when you could learn useful skills instead? For the moment, the only people I’m visible to are you and…?” 

 Sighing, I straightened from off of the table. I had no doubt that both parties in this introduction would know who the other person was, but I went through the process anyway. 

 “Evushk, this is my sister, Feena. She doesn’t usually act like the rabbit she’s mimicking now,” I said. “Feena, this is my evushk. He’s not nearly as terrifying as everyone makes him out to be.” 

 When Korix raised an eyebrow at me, I shrugged. Feena and Pheniks were likely to be part of my life for a long while yet. If he was to remain in it as well, he’d need to drop his icy mask when around them. 

 Taking a deep breath, Korix turned to Feena. 

 “Fourth Stratus,” he began. 

 Ugh, he was going formal with this? I elbowed him. Hard. 

 Korix flipped his head to glare at me while I donned an innocent smile, and across the table from us, Feena froze. She bounced her eyes between us while they filled with tears, as if she’d realized a horrible truth, and she took a step back. 

 “Excuse me for a moment,” she croaked. 

 She stumbled out of view, leaving me chewing on my lip. What had she seen to cause a reaction like that? Did she… know? How could she, having watched so little interaction between me and Korix? 

 “That woman you were dancing with earlier,” Korix said. “Do you fancy her?” 

 This was such an enormous change of subject that it took me a moment to switch tracks. 

 “Maybe? She certainly seemed charming enough,” I said. “I doubt it’ll go anywhere, though. You don’t exactly give me time to date.” 

 Korix didn’t react when I grinned at him, so rolling my eyes, I asked. 

 “Why?” 

 “I would advise caution if you court her, no matter how far into the future that might be,” Korix said. “Her father’s a founder, and therefore, has an old-fashioned view of relationships.” 

 My breathing paused as my thoughts screeched to a stop. 

 “A Founder?” I hissed. 

 As in one of the people who’d formed the homeland? One of the people we were celebrating today? Weren’t they supposed to be dead, moved on to the Collective? If one wasn’t, though, as Korix seemed to be implying, what sort of attention had I brought down upon myself? 

 “A founder, not one of the Founders. He wasn’t part of the six Houses that persist to this day, but he lived during the time of Lutov’s founding and fought those from beyond the stars,” Korix said. 

 Interesting. That would make him old, which was a strange concept to consider. 

 How long someone had been alive didn’t much matter in Lutov, not when it had no bearing on Stratus elevation or romantic relationships or… anything, really. What counted was how mature a person acted. That was all someone needed to determine if they were ready for the many different stages of life or their career, barring the time required to develop into an adult of course. 

 But if Leski’s father was that old, perhaps he could tell me more about the war with those from beyond the stars. 

 Also. Why did Lutov know basically nothing about that time period if someone who’d lived during it was alive to tell the tale? Had the man simply refused to share his knowledge, or had someone, at some point in history, decided to bury the truth about the war? 

 I didn’t get long to ponder these questions as Korix quickly continued with his explanation. 

 “He’s not a man whose ire you want to raise, so if you decide to pursue Leski, make sure you treat her with the utmost respect.” 

 Something fiery whipped through me as I met Korix’s gaze, but my voice emerged calmly when I replied. 

 “I am always respectful with my partners. They deserve nothing less. Don’t you know this?” 

 His brow creased with something about what I’d said obviously troubling him, but Feena returned before he could share what it was. 

 “Please forgive me for my outburst…” she said before frowning. “What term of respect should I use to address you in this moment, honored sir?” 

 “None of them,” Korix said, “and the amount of emotion you displayed is expected and good for someone of your Stratus. Don’t be ashamed of it.” 

 Storm clouds formed on my sister’s face. 

 “Maybe you’re right,” she said, “but I have to reach higher. I have to get as high in House Kolb’s infrastructure as I can before… well, before.” 

 I’m sorry. Had Feena just deliberately withheld something from the Lokke Vitras? Was she trying to get herself killed? 

 “Continue with that thought,” Korix said, as level as he’d been to this point. 

 But I knew him well enough to read that tone. Feena had better tell him what she was hiding. Now. I didn’t know what I’d do if he ordered me to hurt her. 

 “Forgive me, but I cannot,” she said. “Not even if you command it, precursor to the protector.” 

 And… we’d dropped into something I probably wasn’t meant to understand yet. It was a familiar enough sensation, given how often Korix and others like him had talked cryptically while around me in the past, but as I had then, I gave the conversation my full attention, despite my lack of understanding. 

 “You’ve made a trip to the southernmost tip of the Eastern Reaches?” Korix asked. 

 “Earlier today, yes,” Feena quietly replied. 

 Wait, this morning? When she’d received her bad news? Also, why did Korix look purposefully sympathetic now? 

 “My condolences,” he said. 

 Shifting in place, Feena said, “Thank you. I think.” 

 In an attempt to keep her calm, Korix slowly rounded the table to take her hand. 

 “I mean it,” he said. “If you need anything, ask, and I’ll do what I can to help.” 

 I’d never seen my sister so uncomfortable before. She clearly wanted to retreat from Korix, but she made herself hold still with a forced smile pasted in place. 

 “For now, it would help if you removed the distraction that is my little brother,” she said before hastily adding. “Please.” 

 Softly chuckling, Korix said, “That, I can easily do. I was just about done with this form of torture anyway.” 

 Patting my sister’s hand, he released her before turning on me. 

 “Let’s go, kuvesk.” 

 I silently followed him into an enclosed end of the Crescent and one of the offices beyond it. Once the door had fallen closed behind us, Korix made for the clothes draped over the manager’s desk, and I broke the silence between us. 

 “What was that about?” I asked. “I’ve never seen you act so human with anyone besides me before.” 

 Holding the outfit that I’d chosen in front of him, Korix cocked his head. 

 “This is one of those things I can’t tell you about yet,” he distractedly said. 

 “Because I’m not ready for it?” I asked, almost snapping the question. 

 Glancing at me, Korix said, “No. Because I have more experience with this. Because I say you can’t know. And… because your sister should be the one to tell you about it, if she decides to share. Do you understand me, kuvesk?” 

 Much as my insides shriveled while doing it, I had to nod. Our relationship might have become closer, but he was still the Lokke Vitras and my teacher, and those roles took greater precedence than anything else we might have. 

 “Yes, evushk,” I said. 

 “Good,” Korix said before softening. “Help me get changed?” 

 I’d accepted that secrets would always lie between us. What was one more, even if it involved my sister? Shaking it off, I stepped forward to take his jacket. 

 I’d provided a simple wardrobe change tonight. The tie came off while something more comfortable replaced the formal pants and shirt. They didn’t truly matter, though. Korix wouldn’t get the most important piece of his ensemble until we'd reached home. 

 Sneaking out of the Crescent gave us no trouble, but why should it? Security was focused on keeping people out, not in. 

 Once we were in the skycruiser with its coordinates set, we sat in comfortable silence for a good half of an hour before Korix lowered the divider between our seats. He slid to my side, leaning into me. 

 “I wish I could tell you,” he said. 

 Tell me what…? Oh. About Feena. 

 Sighing, I wrapped my arm around him, pulling him closer. 

 “It’s fine, Ko. I get it,” I said. 

 Humming, Korix nestled into me, stroking my leg, and I rested my body on him. What was found here, in each other’s warmth, was comfort, the greatest form of it, and slowly, my tension leaked out of me. Sleep came calling like an errant lover. 

 Before it could take hold of me, Korix shifted in place. 

 “Earlier, you implied that we’re partners,” he said. “Am I right to think this?” 

 Sleepily blinking, I struggled to put my thoughts in order. Why was he asking me a question with such an obvious answer, especially when he knew that I’d need rest before we got home? 

 “Would we not drop everything if one of us needed help? Do we not work to make our individual lives easier? Is our happiness not the goal of us both?” I asked. “If so, that makes us partners, as far as I’m concerned.” 

 “Zae…” Korix said before burying his face in my chest. “What you’re saying is true, yes, but Lutov and Kolb will always come before the other person in this arrangement, at least for me. Doesn’t that change your opinion?” 

 Fucking Houses. Fucking loyalty to the homeland. 

 Somehow, I kept my breathing rate even, and the unbridled rage and helplessness churning in my gut were leeched from my voice. 

 “It changes nothing,” I said. “Unless you object to it, I will think of you as my partner, Ko. Who else can I refuse to love as much as I do with you?” 

 Korix’s chest fell still, and as he curled his fingers into my slacks, his breath ceased its beat against my skin. Shooting his head up, he circled an arm around my neck while his palm turned me to him, and when we came together, energy burned away my fatigue. 

 I slid my hands to the back of his head, keeping his lips on mine, and we kissed until I tasted salt and Korix insistently pulled free of me. His eyes were wet while tear tracks shone on his cheeks. 

 “No one has come as close to making me happy as you have,” he said. “I don’t know if we can ever directly speak of love. Much as I’d like to, I’m not sure I could ever love you as much as you refuse to do the same for me, but partner? I can call you that.” 

 Damn. I’d never realized how important this was to him, never considered that he might not know how I felt. I leaned in for a gentle kiss. 

 “Ko, none of my partners have affected me like you do,” I said. “Do you know when I last went with a steady, single partner for this long? Never. And yes. Some of that has been the lack of feasibility and the need for me to keep away from the general populace, but a lot of it-” 

 Cupping Korix’s face, I held him steady. 

 “A lot of it is that you’re too damn good. If you were anyone else, I’d probably have gone crazy by now. So, listen to me carefully.” 

 I forced him to my eye level. 

 “You are my partner, and maybe, with time, you could be more. I see that much of a future between us,” I said. “You are the man I would step in front of an energy bolt for, not that I expect you to let that happen. I’d like to be a part of your life for as long as you’ll have me.” 

 “You think I’ll ever stop wanting you with me?” Korix interrupted. 

 The fire in his eyes burned me, but despite that, I smiled. 

 “I suppose you wouldn’t, would you?” I said. 

 “Never.” 

 Breaking free of my clutch, Korix lunged for me, and in the resulting pile of limbs, I had a hard time with keeping track of what went where. I knew his mouth stayed occupied with mine while the rush of its entanglement fueled my lock around him, and I knew his fingers grazed over my hips and waist for a while. 

 Considering this, things would have become much more heated, despite how little room we had, if our arrays and the skycruiser hadn’t soon informed us of our arrival home. Reluctantly, we peeled apart, and once we were on the ground, I climbed onto the landing pad. 

 In the hangar, we caught one another’s gaze over the top of rounded metal with both of us blazing a question there. Was it one we could answer, though?

Chapter 42: Mm, So Many Distractions
Neither Korix nor I wanted to say something. If we did, our inevitable answer would become concrete, and having that uncertainty, that energy, floating between us… 

 Mother Time. It was both ridiculously tantalizing and enormously frustrating. 

 “You said you’d show me what you thought of what I’m wearing,” I said. 

 If a skycruiser weren’t standing between us, Korix probably would have knocked me to the floor then and there. 

 “I can do that later,” he said instead. “For now, we have guests to greet. Your guests.” 

 With a soft groan, I said, “We should probably make sure they’re not getting into trouble. I made the restrictions on where they can go as apparent as possible but…” 

 “Humanity’s curiosity has a way of getting people killed,” Korix said. “You never explained why we’re having a party here. I only went along with it because it seemed like a good test of your skills.” 

 I’d wondered why ever-private Korix had agreed to let several dozen guests into his home. Using it as a test made sense for him, but if he felt confident enough in me to allow such an invasion of his privacy, then… 

 Damn, hand-off of his role must be getting close. 

 Why didn’t he tell me these things? He knew that the only reason I’d stayed after the disaster with Fyester had been to free him from his position as the Lokke Vitras. 

 But I had an implied question to answer. 

 “I don’t have a practical reason for it. It’s Founder’s Day, a time when everyone, including us, should have a bit of fun. I know you don’t like public celebrations, so I thought something more private might be better,” I said. “But a part of it’s for me. I have few days as special as this left, so I wanted to celebrate it. Selfish perhaps but-” 

 I shrugged, slapping my hands to my thighs as I pushed away from the skycruiser. 

 “Yes, your sister mentioned that something was unusual about today, besides the obvious,” Korix said. “Neither of you answered my question about it.” 

 With a laugh, I headed for a door leading deeper into the estate. 

 “I’m not falling for that again, Ko. You’ve thoroughly taught me not to surrender information needlessly,” I said. “I’m not giving you something you already know.” 

 “But… I don’t know,” Korix said. “Not this time.” 

 Spinning, I spread my arms while continuing backward. 

 “Come on. You can’t expect me to believe that,” I said. “You know everything about me.” 

 Shaking his head, Korix said, “No, I don’t. I learned everything that I needed for your training but nothing more. I didn’t want to invade your life more than I had to. What does that have to do with today?” 

 I stopped short, dropping my arms. He actually looked confused, which alarmed me on a number of levels. 

 Maybe he was telling the truth. If he was, then… should I risk sharing? But why wouldn’t I? 

 “Today’s my birthday,” I said. 

 And Korix just blinked at me. No mild rebuke. No assignment of gardening yet to be done. I hated yard work. 

 “You were born on Founder’s Day?” he asked. 

 “Yes,” I said. “Quite the fuck up on House Drav’s part, huh?” 

 Korix started shaking, and unsure what that meant, I hurried to him. Before I could reach his side, though, he hung off the skycruiser with uncontrolled laughter pouring from him between gasps. If I hadn’t been so shocked solid by this, something I’d never seen before, I might have been offended. 

 “Are you…?” 

 Unsure how to finish that question, I reached for Korix, and he sprang upright, taking hold of my head. 

 “They didn’t make a mistake,” he said. “For once, one of the Houses got something completely, utterly right.” 

 He brought me in for a firm kiss before thrusting me away again. 

 “Do you know how exceptional you are, Zaeden?” he asked. “I’ve never said anything because I didn’t want it to go to your head, but you amaze me. After reviewing your logic and intelligence scores years ago, I knew you’d learn quickly, just as I knew you had an aptitude for what we do after Ostiu, but Mother Time! There have been weeks where you blew through my lessons before I’d prepared the next one. 

 “Eleven years of fighting and studying and working and you’re nearly ready to become the next Lokke Vitras. It took me three times as long to reach that point. 

 “You exemplify Lutov with your life. If anyone deserves to claim Founder’s Day as their own, it’s you.” 

 Each of his words settled on me like a stone, and I staggered beneath their weight. Korix had probably meant to pay me a compliment, but all I heard were the expectations I must meet, muted only by hysterical disbelief. 

 My whole life, people had told me that I was different—my parents, my partners, instructors when I’d been younger—but I’d never believed those assertions because I didn’t feel different. During House rotations, I’d fit like a glove with my fellow unHoused. When with my family, I’d played a persona they’d enjoy. I’d listened to, learned from, and occasionally debated with my instructors, as any good student would, and I’d adapted my behavior in small ways to each of my partners’ different needs. 

 Except with Korix. Besides those first few months, I’d only been myself with him… 

 Only been myself. I’d been playing parts for my entire life, and I’d done it so well that only one person had suspected me of faking. I was a chameleon, a ghost possessing a host of personas. 

 And even conforming to people’s expectations, I’d stood out. Now, the Lokke Vitras, most beloved and feared and exceptionally capable of people, echoed a long line of astounded exclamations about my worth, one that had trailed me for my whole life. 

 I didn’t want to be different. I wanted to disappear in Lutov’s sea of humanity. 

 So, I shifted attention away from myself as much as I could. 

 With a nervous giggle, I asked, “Is this your way of saying happy birthday?” 

 There was that signature twitch of the lips, the one that had only spawned warmth in me over the years. 

 “Do you want those words from me? I can say them if you like,” Korix said, “or you can let my actions speak for themselves.” 

 “Since when have I preferred words over deeds?” I asked. 

 “That’s what I thought.” 

 Taking my hand, he led me away from the hangar and the uneasiness that had hung over me there. Before we stepped into an occupied part of the house, I pulled Korix to a stop, offering him an item from my coat. 

 “The last part of your disguise,” I said. 

 Korix took the mask with two fingers, dangling it in front of his face while I retrieved mine. 

 “I understand why I needed to change clothes, just as I understand why I should hide my features. They’re well known, to my dismay,” he said, “but won’t these masks make us stand out just as much as my face would? Also, why didn’t you have to change?” 

 “Are you complaining?” I asked. 

 After fixing my mask to my face, I threw the long tails of my coat back, which had blue illumination faintly splashing on the walls, and bent until Korix’s hips were a few centimeters from my nose. There, I stayed, looking up at him. Waiting for his reaction. 

 Red crept up his neck, reaching for his cheeks, and he cleared his throat. 

 “Why would I do that?” he said. 

 Shooting upright, I said, “I didn’t think you would. As for your question about the masks, put yours on and follow me. You’ll see why I’m having you wear one soon enough.” 

 With a sigh, Korix did as I’d asked, and we moved on. As soon as we stepped into the living room, however, he stopped short. 

 I knew why he’d done that. I’d never seen so many people in a normally still and silent room. Now, it was the opposite of that. 

 Drones were holding steady at the entrances to forbidden hallways while more of them flashed from one end of the room to the other. They collected glasses, discarded used napkins, and in general, cleaned up after the space’s occupants. 

 A handful of our guests were in here, wearing outfits infinitely more ridiculous than what we’d seen at the Founder’s Day Ball. Too much color contrasted with their surroundings’ monochromatic theme, and the state of dress here ranged from nearly non-existent to layers piled atop one another. 

 Multiple conversations interlaced into a blur with the drones’ whirring providing a background base. From another room, synthesized dance music—a style currently popular—thrummed, a trembling beat that disturbed this place's steady hum. 

 Some people were dancing or swaying to this, a rush of activity that those sitting on the couch or the floor counteracted. They talked or kissed or caressed one another, the barest of movements when compared to everyone on their feet. 

 And all of them were wearing masks, concealing their features. 

 So, yes. I understood why Korix was struggling to move right now. Not only were several possible hostiles, none of whom we could identify, surrounding us, but this scene, pasted on top of the living room’s typical air, was far more jarring than I’d expected. 

 Which wasn’t to say that I disliked it. Far from that. A silly grin had planted itself on my face, and I doubted it was moving anytime soon. 

 “I don’t like this,” Korix said, as if to contradict my mood. 

 “Don’t worry,” I said. “The drones won’t let anyone wander into private rooms. I wrote tonight’s security parameters myself.” 

 “That’s not what I meant,” Korix grumbled. 

 Hooking my arm around his, I patted it. 

 “I know.” 

 I led him into another room, one that I’d planned as a quiet zone. Here, people were chatting in a murmur while snacking on refreshments. As I wandered around the space with Korix, I forced him to talk, gradually lowering that guardedness that he wore like armor, and after a while, he relaxed. 

 Only then did I start teasing him. 

 Over my many years of dating, I’d become an expert in this game, and though Korix was older than me, I was more experienced with romantic relationships. He might be the Lokke Vitras, but unless a mission or my training constrained him to his rigid role, he was putty in my hands. 

 This was how within the hour, I had him in a bedroom with four of our guests, and despite several dozen strangers partying under his roof, Korix’s only focus was me. With the other four people sufficiently distracted, I returned his attention, running a hand over his shoulders and back. 

 “How are we doing?” I asked. 

 A small grimace flashed over Korix’s face, one that he quickly smoothed away. His firm control had always loosened when he was distracted like this. 

 “I still don’t like what you’ve done to my home,” he said. 

 Arching an eyebrow, I drawled, “But?” 

 “But I suppose it’s acceptable for one night,” Korix huffed. 

 “Excellent,” I said. “I’ll keep that in mind for the future.” 

 At my smirk, Korix fell still. 

 “I didn’t mean we should have more-” he started. 

 Laughing, I covered his mouth with my palm. 

 “I know,” I said. “Let’s focus elsewhere, shall we? You still haven’t rewarded me for how much work I put into my appearance tonight. I’m beginning to think you don’t like it.” 

 Flicking his eyes over me, Korix brushed my arm off of him, but rather than pulling me closer, as I’d expected, he stepped back. He had his head follow the same path as his earlier inspection, slowly dragging it up and down. 

 “Zaeden of no House, you spend far too much time teasing or working to irritate me,” he said. “Do you deny this?” 

 Confused, I cocked my head at him, noting that one of the couples nearby had broken off in their antics to watch. 

 “Why would I deny a truth?” I asked. 

 In a flash, Korix had hold of my coat, and he propelled me into the wall at my back. Dull pain flared along my spine, but hell, if it didn’t feel like bliss. 

 Pulling my mask off, Korix gently took hold of my jaw. 

 “And yet, you’re the only one in all of Lutov whose image is fixed in my mind,” he said. 

 His kiss pushed my head against drywall again, and I faintly tasted blood from where someone’s teeth had accidentally pinched a lip too hard, but I didn’t care. I was melting, fluid resin dribbling to the floor. We hit a mattress, frantic to resume where we’d left off in the skycruiser, and four sets of hands helped us strip stubborn clothing free. 

 In a cocoon of five people’s desire, I pupated, enduring all manner of delightful torment until I metamorphosed in a wash of ecstasy, a wonder that I’d ever be eager to repeat. Once all of us six butterflies had experienced the same, we blanketed one another before falling asleep with exhaustion sapping us. 

 I didn’t know what woke me up, but when I returned to consciousness, I stretched, checking the time. Morning had come, and over the next few hours, my guests would trickle back home, but that process had yet to begin, not in this room at least. 

 Wriggling from beneath a pile of limbs, I searched for Korix. He, predictably, had isolated himself in a corner with his back to it, but he’d stayed in this room, falling asleep with strangers nearby, because I was here. 

 A glow permeated me, and I gently pressed my lips to his forehead. I didn’t want to wake him up. 

 While I crouched with my chin on my knees and my arms wrapped around my legs, I watched the slow rise and fall of his chest until my stomach reminded me that I hadn’t fed it in over twenty-four hours. I probably should have eaten something at the ball, but in all of the excitement, I’d forgotten to do that. So, I headed for the kitchen, after finding and donning my slacks of course. 

 I had to step around several sleeping people on the way, and hell, it made me giddy. Last night had gone exactly as planned, and while I knew something like this would never happen again for me, I’d experienced it at least once in my life. I counted myself lucky. 

 When I heard activity coming from around the corner, I slowed down, cursing Korix’s refusal to install recorders on his estate for the first time. I didn’t expect trouble, but visually checking an unexpected oddity was always best before ambling into view. 

 Plastering my back to the wall, I lowered myself toward the ground before peaking around the corner. Further down the hall, someone was messing with a drone, pulling out its innards. I’d find this alone suspicious, but I could swear I knew this person too. 

 While I racked my brain for where I’d seen her before, she retrieved something from her pocket and shoved it into the drone. After a few adjustments, she put it back together before turning to leave, and as she moved out of view, I remembered how I knew her. 

 Years ago, I’d picked Fyester up from one of his parents’ social gatherings, accommodating his not-so-subtle attempt to escape its boring proceedings. When I’d arrived, that woman had been chatting with him, and while Fyester had introduced us, I couldn’t, for the life of me, remember her name. 

 It, however, wasn’t important. 

 That social gathering? Fyester’s parents had held it for their fellow House Cerullis members, which meant that this woman was most likely conjoined with the House that I’d suspected of underhanded activity for years. I hadn’t invited any of them to last night’s party, so why was she here? 

 As soon as she’d disappeared, I was racing down the corridor. Seizing the drone, I pulled it apart as quickly as I could, and when I saw what she’d placed inside, I sucked in a breath. 

 My suspicions had been validated. How I wished they hadn’t been. 

 For within this drone was the instrument of our destruction, and its timer was swiftly ticking down to zero. 

 TTS Chapter Forty-Two

Chapter 43: I Made a Mistake
Over the course of several hundred years, House Cerullis, in their efforts to better understand our planet and what lay beyond it, had launched several satellites into space, the frontier that we Lutovish never dared brave again. With time, they’d made changes to what had once been solely observational devices.  

 Most of these additions had originated in House Zan. Of particular note, however, was the one that Zan used to put down rebellions in their testing grounds. The weapon fired a plasma beam powerful enough to annihilate an Ostium town, turning it into a glass-walled crater. 

 The control for such a weapon, the piece that pinpointed its target, was sitting in the drone that I was holding. 

 As soon as I saw this, I requested a direct connection with Korix, mumbling under my breath while I waited for him to accept it. 

 “Come on, come on, come-” 

 The connection established. 

 “Zae, where are you?” a voice stuffed with sleep asked. “What’s going-?” 

 “Look through my eyes,” I snapped. “Right fucking now.” 

 Silence filled a time ticking by at the rate of the device in front of me. I didn’t have enough of that to break through the control’s security processes, not when even years into my training, process cracking wasn’t my strong suit. I was hoping Korix, who was much better at it, could- 

 “Get Ace,” he said, calm and collected. “I’ll evacuate the estate.” 

 Shit. 

 “Are you sure you don’t want-?” I started. 

 An alarm blared from every drone near me, and people down the hall’s length jerked free of slumber. 

 “This is an emergency situation,” a soothing, female voice spoke in deafening volumes. “Please, head for the closest Travel Center as quickly as possible.” 

 This warning looped on itself, and on watching the resulting chaos, I realized that Korix had given me the hard job. Gritting my teeth, I barreled through panicking people as they scrambled for their belongings and tripped over themselves to escape an unknown danger. 

 Once I reached a cordoned-off part of the estate, the bedlam died down, even if the alarm kept going, and I was able to sprint, unimpeded, for the kitchen. A timer in my array, synced to the one on the control, urged me to move more quickly, but I was glad for this needed haste. It didn’t let me think much. 

 Right now, the only thing on my mind was how glad I was that Korix had told me to get Ace. That one of us would rescue my dog had never been in question, but I didn’t know what I’d have done if he’d told me to evacuate our guests first, leaving me to worry the whole time about whether we’d safely pull him out of the house.  

 Skidding into the kitchen, I found Ace pacing in front of his bed with his tail between his legs. When he saw me, he slink-trotted across the kitchen to plaster himself against my calf, shivering, and I snatched his leash from its place beside the door. 

 Attaching it to his collar, I rubbed his back, purposefully ignoring how much gray was peppered in his black fur. This racket was probably doing wonders for his health. 

 “I know you don’t like the noise,” I said, “but we have to run through it now. Can you do that, buddy?” 

 I plucked his favorite ball from his pile of toys, and while it didn’t garner me the fixed attention that it normally got, it did keep Ace somewhat focused. Now, I only needed to worry if he could keep up. He’d gotten sluggish in his old age. 

 After squeezing the ball so that a faint squeak rose over the alarm, I raced out of the kitchen, the only place where I’d felt safe for over a decade. Starting slow, I increased our speed until Ace and I were tearing through the house. 

 It seemed abandoned, which made sense. Our guests would have headed straight for their skycruisers after hearing the alarm. 

 Considering how many of those vehicles had filled the hangar last night and how many people we’d had in the house, I doubted any were available for us, so I headed for a door leading outside instead. 

 The Southern Fells’ moors lay beneath their typical layer of morning mist, leaving their stillness and peace as a stark contrast to the last few minutes. That peace rankled me when added to my racing thoughts and bubbling stomach. To the adrenaline that was sending me into hyperdrive. 

 These things made me quick, though, more so than my typical sprinting speed, and poor Ace was struggling to stay at my side. He couldn’t keep this up for much longer, which was a problem. Even at the rate we were traveling at, we’d never make it clear of the coming disaster zone before the timer hit zero. 

 Never stopping, I scooped Ace off of the ground, holding him firm and murmuring comforting words until he stopped squirming. Once he had, I fell into thoughtlessness, letting House Kolb speed zip us over the low hills. 

 When I snapped out of it, I’d reached the assembly point that Korix and I had established long ago for emergencies. A couple dozen vehicles had landed here, some belonging to Korix and some to guests, and a quick check on their statuses showed them in lockdown mode. That explained the lack of frantic people around me. 

 I set Ace down while scanning for Korix. He should be here, but I didn’t see him. 

 Had he returned to the estate for something? I doubted he’d be so sentimental. 

 Unless someone was stuck in the house. Or if he’d left an item required for Lutov’s security there. 

 With my heart in my throat, I turned toward the building, a dark blip against near-colorless grass. Above it, a satellite hung, a monstrosity so large that I could see it from the planet’s surface. 

 A blue glow built at its base, and I took a step forward to search the estate for Korix, no matter that I’d never reach it in time, but something jerked me to a stop. 

 Ace’s leash, still wrapped around my hand? No. That was- 

 The timer flicked to zero. A thin, white line shot toward the estate, fattening and brightening as it went. It seared my eyes, and in the next breath, a roar exploded in my ears. It was as if the voice of reality was protesting something wholly unnatural, and a gale billowed from the site of chaos, swaying me in place, before returning to a gentle breeze. 

 It faded with an echo of its brilliance blotting out a fraction of my sight. Soon enough, even that died, and left behind was a crater, maybe a kilometer wide, with glass walls reflecting the sunlight. 

 The ringing in my ears left me just as reluctantly as what had blocked my sight, but after a few seconds, Ace’s barking penetrated it. 

 It was gone. Our refuge. My home. And Korix- 

 “That was overkill,” a muffled voice said. 

 It was him. He was fine. 

 I hadn’t seriously thought he’d be stupid enough to return for something, but having that small doubt relieved might have had me crying if potential witnesses hadn’t been surrounding us right now. It would definitely have had me sweeping him into my arms. 

 As it was, I recognized that his fingers in my waistband were keeping me pinned in place, so I rocked back on my heels. Once both feet were firmly planted in the grass, Korix released me, and I resisted the urge to dig the heels of my palms into my eyes. Having him behind me was the only thing kept me from losing it. Mother Time, I was so utterly, ridiculously glad that he couldn’t see my face. 

 “This is my fault,” I said. 

 “Kuvesk…” 

 “It’s my fucking fault!” I repeated in a strangled yell. “I got your home destroyed. If I’d stayed true to everything you’ve taught me, if I hadn’t indulged my desires, we’d be waking up right now or making breakfast while waiting for a mission.” 

 “Doubtful,” Korix said. “Calm down, kuvesk. You’re worrying Ace.” 

 Reaching around me, he plucked the ball out of my loose fingers, and it soared away with Ace reluctantly trotting after it. Korix rounded to my side, crossing his arms as he examined the crater in the distance. 

 “If whoever did this was willing to go to such extreme measures, they’d have found a way to get into the house regardless. They’d have planted the satellite’s control whether we’d had a party or not,” he said. “So don’t blame yourself. It’s counterproductive. Plus, the only things destroyed were possessions. Everything precious made it out.” 

 He gave me a pointed look before starting toward a nearby tree. 

 “Come now. We should debrief.” 

 Even with the command, I waited for Ace to return before following Korix with the fluff ball beside me. As we approached, he pulled something off of a tree branch, and I gratefully accepted my coat from last night. The moors were always chilly, but they were uncomfortably cold when one was half-clothed. 

 As I threw the coat on, I noticed extra weight hanging in one of its inner pockets. When I reached to investigate, however, Korix shook his head. 

 “Look later, once things have calmed down,” he said. “You were meant to find it while gathering your laundry, but… plans change.” 

 A gift? That was unlike him, but then, we’d both dropped our roles since leaving Ibis yesterday. We’d both let emotions freely flow and discussed personal topics, although perhaps not the ones we should have. 

 The Founder’s Day Ball and subsequent party had masked it, but the pressure that we’d accrued over the last few months had reached a breaking point. I’d started seeing my victims’ faces on random people, which was new, and I’d noticed Korix getting jittery in recent days. 

 Discussing what we meant to one another was well and good, but sometime soon, we needed to have another, halting talk about the damage that we’d taken because of the parts we played. We needed to work out new practices that might help us handle our burdens. 

 Not now, though. Now, we needed to figure out who’d just tried to murder us, although I already had my theories. 

 Going rigid, I folded my arms behind my back, the same way I did for every mission report, but Korix waved for me to relax, folding to sit cross-legged at the base of the tree. 

 “No need for formality this time. This incident isn’t official yet,” he said. “Get comfortable, and help me calm Ace down.” 

 My poor dog did look stressed, panting so hard that drool was dripping to the grass from his jaw. When I folded to the ground beside Korix, he padded to us, slowly wagging his tail, and collapsed between our legs. 

 Scratching Ace’s ear, Korix said, “How did you come across a satellite’s control in the house?” 

 “I stumbled upon a House Cerullis member fiddling with a drone while on my way to get breakfast,” I said. “I have no idea how she got close enough to overpower one. The security parameters that I wrote should have had the drone playing keep away for as long as she chose to pursue it. I also don’t know how she got into the house in the first place. I didn’t invite her to the party.” 

 “Maybe someone else did,” Korix said. 

 “Who? You?” I asked. “No one else would have thought to do something so rude.” 

 Staring at his hand, which he was running over Ace’s back, Korix shrugged. 

 “People break social norms all the time,” he said, “and she could have been someone’s plus one.” 

 “Maybe. I suppose it doesn’t matter how she got inside, only that she did,” I said. “I let her finish with what she was doing, hoping to keep from spooking her. Look how well that went.” 

 I bunched my fingers in Ace’s fur, and he shifted his head to my thigh, looking up at me. 

 “You did the right thing,” Korix said. “You couldn’t have known what she was doing to that drone, not without recorders to spy on her.” 

 “Still. I thought I could handle whatever she was planting, but once again, my abominable process cracking skills fucked me over,” I said. “Well, not me. Us. Hell, I’ve made us homeless-” 

 At House Kolb speed, Korix reached for me, making me tense, but all he did was lay a hand on my shoulder, briefly squeezing it. 

 “This is not. your. fault,” he said, “and even if it had been and you did make us homeless, we’d only stay that way for a few weeks while a new house was built. As it is, have you forgotten about the apartment in Xygek? That can be our home just as easily as what we’ve lost. Mother Time, Zaeden. The only things gone are possessions, easily replaced.” 

 He was right. I knew this, but letting go of guilt took more effort than it should. 

 “Fine,” I breathed. 

 With one more squeeze, Korix returned his attention to Ace, and for a little while, I bit my lip, doing nothing more than radiate as much reassurance toward my dog as I could. 

 “What do we do now?” I eventually asked. “Should I go after the woman who started this? She could tell us whether we have a single person to fight or if a House has turned against us.” 

 Not that I had any doubt about which of those it would be. After they’d glassed our home, it seemed pretty clear that something was wrong within Cerullis’ ranks. Maybe I could use Alezand’s invitation from last night to start investigating his House. 

 But Korix was shaking his head. 

 “Going after the instigator of today’s incident would serve no purpose. Once you share her appearance with Talira, other House Kolb members can find her for us,” he said. “It’s better if we’re proactive. I have a persona embedded in Cerullis. Maybe we can use it to get answers. First, though, we’ll wait for emergency services to retrieve our guests, avoid them once they arrive, and check in with shukusen Talira. She’ll probably want a say in what we do.” 

 “That does sound like my grandmother,” I said. 

 Thunking my head against the tree’s trunk, I closed my eyes. 

 “Anything I should know from the time you’ve spent as a House Cerullis member?” I asked. 

 “Only that their focus has shifted in recent years from a number of scattered fields to one of singular intensity on the planet’s atmosphere,” Korix said. “Besides that, everything’s as it has been for the last several hundred years.” 

 Huh. Why the fixation? The Houses usually spread their members as far across their designated specialty as they could, hoping to gain more power with it. What could have driven Cerullis to a single point of interest? Was something wrong with our planet’s atmosphere, and if so, why hadn’t they reported it? 

 “We should go,” Korix said. 

 Cracking an eye open, I spotted flashing lights on the horizon and got to my feet. I’d like to stay and ensure that these people were safe, but Korix was right about avoiding emergency services. If we stayed, they’d tie us up with questions, ones we’d have to answer if we were to avoid inciting suspicion, and considering our circumstances, time was of the essence. We’d done our due diligence by making sure that emergency services had arrived. 

 So, while their vehicles landed between others, still in lockdown mode, Korix and I slunk into the moor’s mist with Ace trotting beside us. 

 TTS Chapter Forty-Three

Chapter 44: Next Steps
After we’d walked for quite a while, enough to ensure that no one would interrupt us, Korix stopped, requesting a direct connection. He looped me into it while also preparing to project my grandmother between us. She’d always preferred visual communication over audio alone. 

 When Korix’s palm began to glow with a projection imminent, I braced for Talira’s entrance, which proved to be a smart course of action. Her image leapt into the air between us with her face stormy, and it only grew more so once she saw us. 

 “What the fuck is going on in the Southern Fells?” she snapped. 

 “Nothing of consequence, my shukusen,” Korix said. “My kuvesk and I have it handled.” 

 “The hell you do,” Talira said. “I’ve received reports of a glassing near your location. Tell me what happened, or I swear to Mother Time, I will send a host of Second Strata after you again.” 

 Wincing, Korix said, “Please. Don’t waste the resources. My kuvesk will give you a report on what happened.” 

 As my grandmother turned to me, I internally flinched. What did Korix expect me to say? 

 “Someone attacked us,” was what I settled on. “We got away. Now, we’re working to figure out who was stupid enough to try killing the  Lokke Vitras.” 

 Dismissing me like an annoying aide, Talira returned her attention to Korix. 

 “Someone glassed your estate?” she said. 

 Damn. I’d never heard my grandmother sound so hollow before. 

 “Yes,” Korix said, “but it’s hardly something my shukusen need concern herself-” 

 “The fuck it is!” Talira shrieked. “What do you think happens to my standing when I can’t keep my First Stratus, my damn heir, safe in the homeland?” 

 Korix had pulled away from her image, not that I could blame him. Talira had never been so furious around me before, but at least she was part of my family. I could only imagine what hearing such ferocity from one’s former evushk was like. 

 “Forgive me, my shukusen, but you have nothing to worry about,” he said. “My kuvesk and I can handle this without it reflecting poorly on you.” 

 “Mmhmm. That seems likely, in light of what’s happened to your fucking home,” Talira said. “No, my Lokke Vitras. You will go to the closest estate to you and request refuge. I’ll prepare the way for you there, not that it should matter. Niklaus owes me a favor, so if you invoke my name, he’ll welcome you into his home, regardless of the difference in your Houses. Await further instructions while I work through this mess. Do you understand your orders?” 

 Keeping his hand level, Korix bowed. 

 “Yes, my shukusen,” he said. 

 “Good. Zae-zae?” Talira said, flipping to me. “Make sure he does as he’s told, ok?” 

 I inclined my head to her, which only made her face go sour. She knew from experience what that meant, but for the moment, she’d get nothing more than conditional agreement from me. 

 “Dammit, both of you will be stubborn about this,” she said to herself before focusing. “You have your orders. What you do with them is your prerogative.” 

 She winked out of existence, letting Korix lower his hand. For a moment, we stared at one another in silence, but soon enough, I broke it. 

 “So, what’s the plan?” I asked. 

 “You’ll take Ace to Niklaus’ estate like Talira wanted,” Korix said. “Wait there until you hear from me. I don’t expect that I’ll be gone long, no more than a couple of days.” 

 “You expect me to sit around, bored out of my mind, while you fix our problem alone?” I asked. 

 With his lips twitching, Korix said, “Oh, I doubt very much that you’ll be bored, Zae.” 

 My nickname on his tongue transformed my angry retort into a stutter, and before I could get myself back under control, Korix stepped closer to kiss me. When he pulled away, it was by a fraction. 

 “Check what’s in your pocket once I’m out of sight,” he said with his lips brushing mine, “and remember how much I can’t love you.” 

 Releasing me, he petted Ace before turning away. 

 “Wait!” I called. 

 But House Kolb speed had already carried him out of hearing range, and I was alone. 

 Well, alone save for one extremely loyal dog.  

 Scratching Ace’s back, I acquired the coordinates for the mysterious Niklaus’ estate. I’d known that other people had been living near us while I’d been training—to be expected in Lutov’s overcrowded state—but I’d never visited our neighbors. When would I have found the time to do that? 

 This man’s home was on the other side of the river that fed into Lake Phiabe, meaning a couple of kilometers lay between it and me, but I wasn’t terribly worried about it. A distance like that should be manageable on foot. 

 For now, I avoided requesting an identity check on Niklaus. Under the circumstances, finding out everything that I could about him would be wise, but given what had happened this morning, I’d need a challenge to keep from worrying over the next day or so. Better to leave my soon-to-be-host’s identity as a mystery, at least for a little while. 

 So, I started off, ignoring the weight in my pocket. As the sun finished its arch overhead, Ace and I passed through the Southern Fells’ moors at a swift jog, and when that fiery orb eventually reached the mountains’ crests, I started looking for a good campsite, building a fire once I’d found one. 

 For tonight, I went without food. Appeasing hunger pangs wouldn't be worth the effort of finding something to eat, and I wasn’t yet concerned about my lack of food. By the time I reached my destination, hunger should have only a minor hold on me. 

 I felt bad for Ace, though. Not only was so much physical activity hell on his aging body, as evidenced by his flop to the ground when we stopped, but he didn’t understand why we were going hungry tonight. Nestled against me, he whined from time to time, and I always responded by rubbing his back or sides or jaw, wishing I could do more. 

 Once he’d gotten settled and I’d made myself as safe as I could in such an open environment, I withdrew the addition of mass to my coat. It was a bound book, one I knew well. 

 Korix had been so pleased when I’d asked if I could add this to his library, shelving it in one of his most favored spots. Why would he have slipped it into my pocket last night? 

 When I absently flipped through it, a scrap of paper flew free of its pages, and I snatched it out of the air before mud could obscure its words. As I read the barely legible scrawl at the top, however, heat crept into my cheeks. 

 No one will own me, it read. 

 Damn, I’d been so naive when I’d written that, still idealistically believing I could somehow gain my freedom in this locked-tight society.  

 That one sentence was no longer alone, though. A much neater hand had added more to my childhood declaration. 

 You were supposed to find this years ago, Zae, it read, but I’ve gotten tired of waiting. It’s time to make this easy for you. Happy birthday. 

 And below that lay an older entry. 

 Is this your motivation, kuvesk? If so, I admire you for it. 

 So many people in Lutov are happy to live in their gilded cages while imposing a much harsher imprisonment on the children of Ibis, but you see the bars around you. Never forget that they exist and that you are chained to something you would never have chosen. And… 

 Never forget to resist it, Zaeden. Mother Time if I don’t feel like a hypocrite for writing that, but my greatest desire is to see you live a happier life than I have. 

 So, yes, know that Lutov owns you, heart and spark of soul, but never, NEVER stop fighting it. If you do, maybe one day you’ll be free like I never was. I pray to everything that might be holy that you find a way to break out of your cage. 

 Lifting the paper scrap to my lips with trembling hands, I closed my eyes while breathing in a musty scent and the concern of someone who cared for me, and once I’d committed the message to memory, I fed the paper to my evening fire, watching it burn in a flash. Falling into the grass, I patted my stomach, and once Ace had lain his head there, I ran my hands through his fur, absently gazing at shining stars. 

 How many years had it been since I’d resigned myself to my fate? Eleven, if I counted from the time when Korix had made me his replacement? 

 And now, the man who’d started me on this path, one that was so free and yet tied in service to Lutov, had encouraged me to fight it. How could I do that without resigning Korix to more time in a role that was slowly breaking him? I pondered this conundrum as the moon climbed higher in the sky until even my body, accustomed to little sleep, surrendered to it. 

 The next morning, I continued in the same persistent slog toward where my grandmother expected me to go. Many thoughts bounced in my head as I climbed and descended rolling hills. 

 Had Korix once more assumed his deep-cover persona as a House Cerullis member? Had Talira made contact to chew him out yet? Was he safe? 

 And regarding my situation. 

 Who was Niklaus, and what House did he claim? Why did an identity check on him—I couldn’t hold out any longer—return with nothing? Most importantly, why had Korix thought that I wouldn’t get bored while staying with this man? 

 When I ran across water, I followed the riverbank north until I found a bridge. Wading across the river would have been much simpler, and Ace probably would have enjoyed it more, but I’d rather keep my appearance somewhat in order before meeting my host. After foregoing bathing for the last two days, I was already disheveled enough, which made me sick to my stomach. I could handle the privation and scruffiness that came with surviving in the wild, but when possible, I’d rather avoid it. 

 Which made spying a bump of human construction on the horizon all the sweeter. 

 Reaching it took a while longer, of course, with the sun about halfway to the western horizon as I made my final approach. 

 In terms of extravagance, Niklaus’ estate ran somewhere between what Korix and my parents claimed. It had a main house plus two additional buildings nearby, and while no wall surrounded it, evidence of a garden peeked from the back. 

 The landscaping around the place felt similar to the Eastern Reaches’ historical topography, from before production facilities’ pollution had warped it, and the buildings’ style of architecture rang old-fashioned in nature, which was strange. 

 Even though I’d sent notice ahead, no one stood ready to greet me. As I finished climbing into the persona of an impeccable guest, I knocked on the building’s front door. 

 A drone answered it. 

 “Greetings,” it said in a mechanical voice. “Please, forgive my master’s absence. He likes to give his guests time to unwind from the stress of travel before saying hello. If you’ll follow me, I’ll show you to where you and your… pet will sleep while staying with us.” 

 It drifted past me. 

 “O… k…” I said under my breath. 

 But I followed it. The drone took us to one of the adjoining buildings, and as we approached it, its door sprang open. Stopping, the drone rotated toward me. 

 “Inside, you’ll find a wardrobe filled with clothes. Something in there should fit you. Please, feel free to clean up and change,” it said. “My master would like to meet you for dinner, which is scheduled an hour from now. He would prefer it if the… beast remained here.” 

 My smile tightened. 

 “I will keep your master’s preferences in mind,” I said, “but please inform him that Ace and I have recently suffered a loss. Considering that, I would prefer it if I didn’t have to leave him alone for an extended period of time.” 

 The lights on the drone blinked for several seconds while I patiently waited. 

 “My master says that you may bring your pet if you can guarantee its good behavior,” it eventually said. 

 With a slight bow, I said, “Many thanks for your hospitality and understanding.” 

 Having nothing further to say, I strode into the building, which looked to be a guesthouse upon closer examination. After the door had shut and locked behind me, I found all nearby recorders and rendered them sightless. Isolated, I had Ace sit at the door while I circled the building’s interior in search of anything that might cause me harm. Talira might have said that this man owed her a favor, but that didn’t mean I trusted him. 

 Even if I had, I’d have performed a security sweep. I did the same thing every night back home, after all. Or I had. 

 Once I was satisfied that I was relatively safe, I set an easily dismantled trap outside the entrance to the washroom and got my appearance in order. This didn’t take me long, no matter that I lingered in the shower for a moment, and with at least half an hour remaining until dinner, I was faced with a choice. 

 Did I stay where I was, appeasing my host? That would mean trusting that he had nothing nasty in store for me. Or did I risk displeasing him and go out for reconnaissance? 

 The decision was simple, really. 

 “Come on, buddy,” I said to Ace. 

 TTS Chapter Forty-Four

Chapter 45: Surveillance Run
Ace and I left the guesthouse, circling the main building. At the first side entrance we found, I broke through its security processes before holding an open palm in front of Ace’s nose. When he looked up at me with a sloppy grin, I blessed Mother Time that dogs’ memories could be so short. 

 “Seek,” I said. 

 He went alert, closing his jaw and lowering his body toward the ground. 

 Checking the feed of the recorder inside the door, I set it to hiccup on itself while I slipped into the house with Ace at my side. Together, we crept along halls and snuck into rooms, finding nothing of interest everywhere we looked. 

 The only oddity of note was the house’s extremely old-fashioned architecture. I had to manually open nearly all of the doors and windows, which made for an interesting challenge. I’d never had to worry about something like squeaky hinges before, not on this side of the water at least. 

 I paused in a large chamber, filled with shelves, but a series of locking glass panes covered each of these bookcases. No matter how many interesting titles I saw here, it wasn’t worth picking locks to get a closer look now. 

 Maybe later. 

 In the same vein, much as I might want to thoroughly investigate Niklaus’ study, I didn’t head that way. I was only doing a quick check for obvious danger, and ransacking that room would take time. Better to save it for if my host showed any signs of hostility. 

 Time was running short, so I made my way to the closest means of egress, satisfied for now that Niklaus meant me no harm. I’d found no poisons in his sad, little kitchen or elsewhere, and while I’d noted a few swords and gunpowder pistols around the house—again, an unexpected touch of ancient history—they’d all been on display, definitely not ready for use. 

 I could do a more thorough search of the house after my host had gone to bed, but for now, I had to meet him. 

 Nearing a window, I was in the middle of tackling its security processes when a sound that I’d earlier noted registered in my head. Someone on this floor was playing a piano. Beautifully. 

 Niklaus? I wouldn’t have pegged him for the musical type, based on how he’d arranged and decorated his home. It could be him, but… I doubted it. 

 Maybe he had another guest here. I’d seen no sign of one, though, and if someone else was visiting, why would Niklaus have put me in his guesthouse while his other guest was sleeping under his roof? Maybe he meant to insult me. 

 The simplest way to answer these questions, of course, would be to follow the music to its source or find the pianist on the house’s recorders, but I had neither the time nor the inclination to do that now. I’d ask Niklaus about it instead. 

 Opening the window, I stepped to the side, pointing through it. 

 “Jump,” I said. 

 A heartbeat later, a mass of gray and black blurred past me, and once I’d climbed through afterward, I patted Ace’s head. 

 “Good boy.” 

 With the window latched, I made my way toward the path that led to the house’s front door. Once there, I fished for the sliver of jerky that I’d had the refectory make while I’d been in Niklaus’ kitchen, crouching so I could offer it to Ace. 

 I knew it wasn’t the healthiest of treats for a dog, but he’d had a rough couple of days, and he’d done a good job while accompanying me through the house. He deserved a reward. 

 His good behavior carried over to this moment, where he stared at the jerky I was pinching between two fingers, never moving. 

 “Found,” I said. 

 With his tail furiously wagging, Ace came forward to carefully take the treat, and then, it was gone, sucked down by the vacuum of a dog’s never-ending hunger. I took a minute to thoroughly pet him, letting him know what a good boy he was, before rising from my crouch and holding a palm in front of his nose. 

 “Glue,” I said. 

 Nothing about Ace’s happy demeanor changed, but he padded behind me and to my left, maintaining this position as we strolled to the front door. Again, I knocked, but this time, a human greeted me. 

 A few centimeters shorter than me, Niklaus let his age show through his gray hair and wrinkles, which was unusual in a society with the ability to maintain a youthful demeanor. His display of age continued with his clothing choice. All of it was in muted colors with a styling from a few centuries ago. 

 Brown eyes critically looked me over before he beamed, reaching out to shake my hand. 

 “Welcome, welcome,” he said with the joviality in his voice catching me off-guard. “Please, come inside.” 

 He waved me into his home, and I stepped over the threshold, glancing over the interior as if seeing it for the first time. Brushing past me, Niklaus strode down a hall, presumably expecting that I’d follow. 

 It was a good assumption. 

 “When I received shukusen Talira’s request earlier today, I thought for sure that I’d be entertaining a brute, but you seem to have good manners, if also an unfortunate affection for an animal,” he said. “You must be high Stratus indeed, young man.” 

 Oh, boy. I could already tell that the next few days would be frustrating. 

 Also, young man? How did he know that, and why was he saying it like my age had some bearing on how he viewed me? 

 “Something like that,” I said. “I take that to mean you’re not House Kolb, then?” 

 “Mother Time, no,” Niklaus said. “House Kirst has held my loyalty for a long time now.” 

 Humming, I said, “Kirst rotations were some of my favorites when I was unHoused. Its members were kind to us.” 

 Glancing over his shoulder, Niklaus flashed a smile at me. 

 “So young and high Stratus too,” he said. “You must be quite talented.” 

 He had no idea. 

 Ignoring the man’s fishing attempt, I cocked my head while scrunching up my face. 

 “Is that… music?” I asked. 

 It was, although this time it was the violin that beckoned me to it. With Niklaus in front of me, that meant another, unknown person occupied the house, which I didn’t like. 

 “Oh, yes. That would be my daughter,” Niklaus said. “I should probably introduce you.” 

 Daughter? As in someone who lived here long-term? How had I missed signs of her in my recon? 

 With Niklaus leading the way, keeping thankfully silent, the violin’s singing swelled in volume. Whoever this daughter was, she claimed absolute mastery of her instrument, coaxing such lovely emotion from it that my heart stirred in response, and I had to remind myself that I was, for all intents and purposes, on a mission right now. 

 Niklaus eased a set of wooden, double doors open, and the song tumbled forth. He beckoned me inside, stopping beside the doorframe. Hugging himself, he watched his daughter with affection, and following the line of his gaze, I nearly tripped over myself, barely stopping a cough. 

 Standing in front of towering windows, Niklaus’ daughter swayed in place with her white shift flowing around her. The evening’s golden light shot through the windows in beams, making the darkened form under her dress stand out against its fabric. 

 With her eyes closed, she cradled her violin like a most precious child with each draw of the bow on its strings shifting her silver and purple locks around her face. She poured herself into her music, holding nothing back. 

 I was caught in it, trapped by the scene’s beauty to the point that I couldn’t acknowledge the obvious problem with who was standing in front of me. Not yet. 

 The musical piece reached its end with her bow raised in a final flourish, and she stayed motionless while the final vibrations from her violin’s strings faded. Meanwhile, I started cursing in my head, wondering how I’d balance her with who I now knew her father to be. 

 “Beautiful as always,” Niklaus said. “If you have a moment, Leski dear, I have someone I’d like you to meet.” 

 Turning, she opened her eyes, and as they widened, Korix’s warning from days before rang in my head. 

 I would advise caution if you court her. Her father’s a founder. 

 Shit. 

 TTS Chapter Forty-Five

Chapter 46: Hello, Beautiful
Leski sucked in air like a dying fish, and from the corner of my eye, I caught Niklaus glancing between us. 

 “You!” she shrieked. 

 Wincing, I cautiously smiled, flicking two fingers in a wave. 

 “Me,” I said. 

 “Do you two know one another?” Niklaus asked. 

 Dragging my attention to him, a concerned parent, took more effort than it should. 

 “We briefly met during the Founder’s Day Ball,” I said. 

 “What are you doing here?” Leski shouted. 

 Her volume shot my gaze her way again. I was beginning to feel like a ball, getting batted between father and daughter. 

 “I needed a place to stay for a few days,” I said. “My…” 

 Did Niklaus know who Talira was to me? 

 Did it matter one way or the other? Leski knew I didn’t have a House, which meant I couldn’t call Talira my shukusen without distancing her, and I found myself strangely reluctant to tell her a lie. 

 I could deal with the fallout that might come from this revelation. 

 “My grandmother asked your father to shelter me until we can figure something else out.” 

 At my side, Niklaus jumped, pulling away from me. Probably requesting an identity check on me as well, and knowing it would be as blank as what his had returned as, his subsequent look of frustration curled my lips the slightest amount. 

 Mother Time, he was a founder… 

 That explained a lot of the questions I’d had over the last couple of days. Of the ones who were still alive, they were probably afforded more privileges than the average Lutovish citizen, hence why the identity check on him had been returned blank. Hence why Talira knew him. 

 “Forgive me, but exactly who are you?” Niklaus asked. “I probably should have asked before now, but I thought you might prefer anonymity if Talira sent you. A name would be nice, though, so we can properly address you.” 

 Leski brightened from her piercing scrutiny of me. 

 “Oh!” she said. “He’s-” 

 “Garreth,” I interrupted. “You can call me Garreth.” 

 Leski frowned, which only seemed to double Niklaus’ apprehension, so I fully faced him. 

 “Your drone mentioned something about dinner?” 

 I’d been looking forward to it ever since hearing that glorious word. The snack I’d eaten while sneaking through the house’s kitchen earlier had merely dulled my days-long hunger pangs. I’d only taken enough so that shaking hands wouldn’t make a fool of me while sharing a meal with my host. 

 “We’re having dinner already?” Leski asked. “Damn. I must have lost track of time.” 

 “Language, dear,” Niklaus absently said. 

 He held my gaze as if in challenge, and I met it with a pleasant smile. This man might be the oldest person I’d ever met, giving him plenty of experience in catching deceit, but if he knew that the name I’d given him was false, he couldn’t accuse me of it. Not yet. Doing so would be impolite. 

 A gasp broke our staring contest. With her hand to her mouth, Leski shone wide eyes toward my feet before sprinting at me.  

 As my reflexes activated, I slid out of her path, setting my stance for trouble, but I wasn’t her target. Falling into a crouch, Leski reached for my silent shadow, and for a moment, my heart seized in my chest while I scrambled to remember if I’d set Ace into an aggressive behavioral mode. 

 But when Leski rubbed his chest, he didn’t move from where he was sitting, slowly wagging his tail instead. 

 “Aren’t you beautiful?” she said before glancing at me. “What’s her name?” 

 “His name is Ace,” I said, “and if you wouldn’t mind, I’d prefer it if you leave him be for now. He’s working and doesn’t need any distractions while doing that.” 

 “Yes, Leski dear. Leave the dog alone,” Niklaus said. “You’ll get dander on your dress.” 

 Leski’s freckled face folded on itself, and I lifted a hand to stop her protest. 

 “You can give him all of the love and attention you want when he’s not working,” I said. “I’m sure he’d like the comfort. He’s lost a home too.” 

 Jerking her head toward me, Leski gaped with her lips parting, and rejecting her pity, I turned to her father. He wasn’t much better, though. With his face pinched, he looked slightly green, and when I cleared my throat, this picture of discomfort only eased a little. 

 “Dinner?” I asked with a raised eyebrow. 

 “Yes,” Niklaus said. “Yes, let’s… If you’ll come with me” 

 He swept out of the room, but I paused before following him, gesturing for Leski to go ahead of me. Still crouched, she examined me through narrowed eyes. 

 “You lost your home?” she asked. “How did something like that happen?” 

 “More easily than you might think,” I said. “Please, Leski. Let’s not alarm your father.” 

 Making a face, Leski straightened, brushing off the front of her dress. 

 “My father could use more excitement in his life,” she said. 

 But she left the room. 

 As soon as she was out of sight, I rubbed my face. Korix had been right. The next few days would be a blast. 

 We took dinner in a dining room. Niklaus placed me on his left, which I found gratifying. After years of practice, I didn’t have a dominant hand anymore, and since most people in Lutov were right-handed, having full range of motion in the opposite—the hand no one expected—would give me a slight advantage right now. 

 Niklaus used the most formal of etiquette at his table. We waited beside our relegated chairs until the drones had brought our food out, only sitting once they’d finished. I had Ace lay behind me, unable to get him any further away from Niklaus without breaking him out of follow mode. 

 Here, practically every other Lutovish family would begin their feast, but Niklaus was a founder. He came from a time with much stiffer social norms. 

 So, I didn’t lift my utensils off of the table or take a single bite of the food in front of me. Folding my hands in my lap, I gave the head of this household my full attention, which he seemed to find surprising. Even still, he swirled the wine in his glass before sipping it and tasting his food. Lowering his glass and utensils, he nodded. 

 “Satisfactory,” he said. “Let us share in the bounty spread before us and enjoy one another’s company.” 

 “Gratitude to the provider,” I said. 

 Hearing my voice mingling with hers, Leski rapidly blinked, but Niklaus seemed pleased. 

 Finally allowed to do so, I dug into my food and suppressed a disappointed sigh. This dish was good. Of that, there was no doubt, but it tasted heavily of refectory preparation. Korix and I could blow it out of the water with the simplest of our meals. 

 Perhaps I could persuade Niklaus to let me cook for him while I was here, assuming I could find the ingredients I’d need. Doing it wouldn’t be the same without Korix at my side, though. 

 How was he? Was he safe? 

 Hell. These thoughts were making my eyes burn while my chest felt like it was collapsing on itself. So, no matter how much I hated doing it, I took everything Korix-related in me, shoved it deep down inside—in the place where my emotions went—and threw a lock on it. 

 “Garreth, what is it that you do to advance your House?” Niklaus asked. 

 In the middle of a bite, I took my time with chewing and swallowing. What a way to start a conversation. If he continued with personal questions like this throughout the meal, speaking only the truth without giving myself away would be difficult. 

 “I do nothing for a House,” I said. “But for Lutov? I do many things, most of which are inappropriate topics for this table.” 

 “Ah, yes,” Niklaus said. “We should shield Leski from House Kolb violence.” 

 That… hadn’t been what I’d meant at all. Where in the hell had he pulled that conclusion from my words? 

 “Why would you think I need protection from it?” Leski asked. “I go through House Kolb rotations, the same as any other unHoused. I know what they do.” 

 “True,” Niklaus said with a nod, “but the general instruction you receive during rotations is different from the nitty-gritty details of a Kolb mission. Isn’t that right, Garreth?” 

 Wow. What a disdainful tone. He really didn’t like House Kolb, did he? 

 “During missions, many things occur that aren’t taught to the unHoused, yes, but everyone relies on the basics. I couldn’t tell you how many times a simple disarm has saved my life,” I said. “Mother Time, Fifth Stratus Karise despaired of teaching me that technique during my rotations. How is she, by the way? Still as crotchety as ever?” 

 With a laugh, Leski nearly choked on her food. 

 “Yes!” she said. “I swear. If she ever stops frowning, it means the world’s ended, and we’re all doomed.” 

 I chuckled, even as I remembered when a phenomenon like that had happened. When she’d first shown my class how to do a disarm, I’d purposefully botched my initial attempt, having spent the week prior to that already practicing the technique. 

 After that first ‘failure’, Karise wouldn’t let me sit back down. She’d made me try to disarm my opponent again and again until I’d gotten frustrated enough to drop my pretense. Once my opponent had been on the ground with her stolen rifle pressed to her head, Karise had laughed as if I’d put on the funniest of comedy routines. 

 Turning to Niklaus, I said, “But I’m sure all of the Houses, even Kirst, keep some of their knowledge from the unHoused, yes?” 

 “You’re not wrong. Kirst keeps many things to ourselves,” Niklaus said. “But from what you’ve said, I’d guess you agree with my daughter. If not to shield Leski, why would you keep the particulars of your role to yourself?” 

 Hell, he wouldn’t let this go, would he? Carefully, I rested my fork and knife on my plate before folding my hands above it, purposefully hiding half of my face. 

 “Frankly, sir, most people find my efforts to better Lutov… unpalatable,” I said. “I’d rather not ruin a lovely dinner by discussing them.” 

 “I see,” Niklaus shakily said. 

 Did he? Please say that it was so because I truly didn’t want to continue with this topic. 

 What had this peek into my life made Leski think of me? She was giving me a strange look, one I was having trouble with deciphering. Not knowing what she was thinking put an unpleasant bubble in my stomach, and my skin prickled when I shifted my eyes away from her. 

 But then, Niklaus rallied, launching into another subject, and I could relinquish my focus on his daughter. For the rest of dinner, I participated in the group’s small talk to a minimal degree, enough to seem engaged but nothing more. 

 Despite having locked Korix away, he kept popping into my thoughts. How long did he mean to make me wait here? I wanted to be with him, working toward answers, not sitting here, listening to Niklaus talk about… Ibis? 

 “-don’t see why the bakava rebel as often as they do,” he said. “We’ve brought them civilization and security. Why wouldn’t they want what we offer them?” 

 Idly chasing food remnants across my plate, I asked, “Have you ever visited Ibis?” 

 Frowning, Niklaus pulled back a fraction. 

 “I-” he said before shaking his head. “Once. A long time ago.” 

 “Then, of course you don’t understand,” I said. 

 Leski, having gotten as close to a slouch as current etiquette would allow, straightened while Niklaus raised an eyebrow. 

 “Are you one of the people who advocate for the bakava’s freedom, then?” he asked. “I must admit. I didn’t expect to find someone like that in House Kolb.” 

 Damn… that was a lot of scorn for a group of people that caused little to no problems in Lutov. 

 “I don’t participate in those social movements, no. Ibis doesn’t concern me, not when I have more than enough to handle with Lutov alone,” I said, “but I understand the children of Ibis’ frustration. Yes, they may get our version of ‘civilization’ from us, but how do we make them pay for it? By forcing them into deadly wars at the whims of our high Strata? By becoming House Zan’s unwilling test subjects? By enduring the hungry desires of our visitors to their shores? It’s no wonder they rebel, time and again, against us. Any human would.” 

 With a laugh in his voice, Niklaus said, “But they’re not human. Merely bakava.” 

 Why was I arguing about this with him? There was no point to it, not when he was so unlikely to change his position, and if I kept pushing, I might anger my host. So, I inclined my head to him. 

 “Perhaps.” 

 Niklaus seemed pleased by my partial concession, signaling for the drones to begin cleaning up, and while they did, Leski caught my eye. With an elbow resting on the table, she cupped her chin, continuing with the unabashed stare that she’d kept up throughout dinner. 

 I didn’t know what to make of her, but then, I didn’t yet have enough variables to complete my analysis. I did know that she intrigued me, but I wasn’t sure in what way. Was it merely curiosity about an interesting person, or was there something more? 

 With the table cleared, Niklaus rose from his chair with us joining him. 

 “Now that we’ve finished dinner, I was hoping that Garreth could join me in my study,” he said. “Leski dear, would you mind seeing the dog fed while we talk?” 

 “Not at all,” Leski said before turning to me. “Will that be ok?” 

 “It shouldn’t be a problem. Ace is very friendly,” I said. “If you could please come out where he can see you?” 

 While she rounded the table, I uncoiled Ace’s leash from where I’d stashed it, clipping it to his collar. When she reached us, I handed Leski the lead while he watched, and a tail wag answered the unspoken command that had changed who he should follow. 

 “Once he’s eaten, you can leave him in my assigned quarters,” I said. “For a short period, he should be fine alone.” 

 Delicately holding the leash, Leski glanced between me and Ace. 

 “How do I…? 

 “Just start walking,” I said. “He’ll follow.” 

 As if testing what I’d said, Leski took a single step toward the door, and Ace climbed as quickly to his feet as his old bones would let him. Soon enough, they were heading out of the dining room. 

 TTS Chapter Forty-Six

Chapter 47: An Ornery Host
Niklaus led me away from the dining room. He took us on a convoluted route to his office, which made me wonder if he wanted to keep me from learning its precise location. 

 I reserved my curiosity about why he wanted to speak with me. What was the point in speculating on that when I’d learn the answer within the next five minutes? 

 We entered Niklaus’ office, which was everything that I’d expected from a high Stratus—wood everywhere, more bound books, and every other example of plenty that one could want—and behind us, the door’s lock thunked into place. Before he could address me, I was down on one knee with my head bowed. 

 “All honor and glory to one of the courageous few,” I said before lifting my eyes. “Please, forgive me for not greeting you properly before. I didn’t know you were a founder before our meal.” 

 Sighing through his nose, Niklaus waved at me. 

 “Get up,” he said. “If I wanted your deference, I’d have told you my status when you entered my home.” 

 I’d figured as much, but my show of respect might derail anything antagonistic that he might want to say to me. Now that I’d been fed, I’d like to catch a couple of hours sleep before doing a more thorough search of this house, and I’d prefer it if I didn’t have to deal with a cranky host before then. 

 As I stalked around the office, making a show of examining it, I thought my ploy might have worked, but alas, it wasn’t destined to be. 

 “Who are you, really?” Niklaus asked. 

 Glancing over my shoulder, I found him leaning on his desk— 

 “I told you. I’m Garreth.” 

 —before returning to my inspection. 

 “No. That’s not your name,” Niklaus said. “You said you’re Talira’s grandchild. She has three of those: Feena, Zaeden, and Pheniks.  

 “You can’t be Feena. She was seen at the Founder’s Day Ball, looking distinctly feminine in form, and transitioning the body to match a perceived gender takes more than two days, even with an accelerant to help.  

 “You can’t be Pheniks. I’ve met that boy. Not only is he House Zan instead of Kolb, but he comes nowhere near your social adeptness.  

 “And you most definitely can’t be Zaeden. No one’s seen him publicly for eleven years, and his official record proclaims him as missing. In House Kolb, that means dead, especially for someone so young.  

 “So, who are you? And don’t lie to me this time.” 

 Huh. I’d always wondered what Talira had transcribed into my public record after Korix had taken me out of my old life, although I’d never been curious enough to check it for myself. Still. Making people think I was dead without outright lying? That was good. 

 I was sure my status would change to deceased once I took over as the Lokke Vitras, but at that point, it would be true. Zaeden would be dead. 

 None of which solved the problem I was facing now. 

 “Niklaus, you owe shukusen Talira a favor, and she wants you to repay it by providing me with hospitality until I leave your lovely home,” I said. “Is that correct?” 

 “Well, yes, but-” 

 Rounding on him, I poked his chest. 

 “Are you showing me hospitality right now?” 

 Niklaus set his jaw. 

 “I deserve to know who’s sleeping in my home,” he said. “I deserve to know if my daughter or I am in danger by having you here.” 

 Leski. A woman with such promise. Was I threatening her with my presence? 

 No. 

 “You’ll find no danger in me,” I said, “and if I’ve brought it with me, I will protect your family from it.” 

 Snorting, Niklaus said, “Against any threat? Can you do that?” 

 I dropped my finger from where it had been resting with a smile tugging at my lips. 

 “I am capable,” I said. 

 With pretty much everything. 

 “My abilities, however, aren’t in question. Your repayment of a favor is,” I said. “Will you default on a debt, Niklaus?” 

 One of his eyes spasmed. 

 “I would never,” he said, “which means I’ll have to trust that someone as young as you knows what he’s talking about.” 

 I was getting… extremely sick of him implying that my physical age should have any effect on our situation. Given who I was, I had far more experience than him when it came to protecting people, and even if he was only aware of my association with House Kolb, Niklaus should know that. Why the hell should age count more than experience, especially when it came to this? 

 Still, as he groaned while passing a hand over his face, I contained my irritation, watching him wrestle with his dilemma without pity. There was a reason I’d never ask a favor of someone. 

 Finally, I gave Niklaus the last push he’d need to let me stay without protest. 

 “I can see how much this troubles you. I’m sorry to have caused it. It wasn’t my intention, believe me,” I said. “Let me collect my things, and I’ll leave you-” 

 “No! You’ll do no such thing,” Niklaus barked. “I was out of line, calling you into question like that. Please, stay for as long as you need.” 

 Retreating a step, I bowed. 

 “You are generous,” I said. 

 “Generous enough to realize that you’re probably exhausted, and I’ve kept you awake for far longer than necessary,” Niklaus said. “Go to bed, Garreth. We can speak further in the morning.” 

 “Thank you,” I said, “and a good evening to you.” 

 Niklaus said something to the same effect, but I relegated processing its specifics to my mind’s base operations, focusing on getting out of the main house as quickly as possible. 

 Ace was waiting for me in the guesthouse. His anxious panting had started up again, so sitting against a wall, I loved on him for a good five minutes. Once we were done, I had him jump on the bed in a fit of spite, wondering what Niklaus would think of having dog hair in his guest’s sheets, but I wasn’t letting Ace sleep on a hardwood floor. 

 With him squared away, I left him snoring on the bed to complete my typical nighttime routine: care for the body, set what traps I could, and resume the narration of my current book once I’d gotten settled in the pillows and sheets. After I’d turned the lights off, Ace shifted to lie against me, and with his body heat at my side and a soothing voice telling me a story, I could almost forget that two days had passed since our home’s glassing. 

 I also hadn’t heard from Korix, and he’d said he’d only be gone for two days. Why hadn’t he contacted me? 

 Almost, worry took me over, forcing me into an unwise course of action, but somehow—I really couldn’t explain how—I squashed it, shoving it back down to reasonable, oh-Mother-Time-he-was-dead levels of anxiety. 

 After I’d managed that, my personal lullaby was enough to overcome any leftover fearful thoughts, and I drifted into dreams, ready to wake up in two or three hours. 

 Raucous tapping on metal drew me to consciousness. Still half under, I patted at the bed, searching for a weapon, and got fur and a rough tongue instead. 

 “The… hell?” I mumbled. 

 “Oh, mysterious guest!” someone sang. “Are you awake?” 

 A relatively unknown voice calling in such close proximity to me cleared sleep’s last cobwebs out of my head, and I jerked off of the bed, nearly setting off one of my traps while scanning the room. 

 Sunlight was streaming through the windows. 

 I checked the time. 

 “What. the. fuck?” 

 I’d slept for nine hours. I hadn’t spent so much time in dreamland since my first year under Korix’s care. 

 Damn, what a waste of perfectly good dark hours, the most ideal time for sneaking through my unsuspecting host’s home. What on earth could have made my body jump off its habitual track? Could last night’s food have been drugged? I thought I’d have noticed if it had. Maybe… 

 My eyes landed on Ace, waiting for permission to jump down. When was the last time another living being had slept in the same bed as me? Korix never did, getting up before dreams could claim us. I could see why he left, if this was the consequence of sleeping beside a warm body. 

 Not that such sound slumber was an insurmountable challenge. If one simply set an alarm in one’s array and- 

 “I’m coming inside.” 

 Oh, hell. The reason I was awake. 

 “Please, don’t!” I shouted. “I’ll come to you. Just… give me a minute.” 

 I flew through my ritual of disarming traps, hiding evidence of them as I went along. Once the room was safe for the average citizen, I shoved my arms and legs through sleeves and pant legs, all while tripping toward the door. It opened to an earnest, freckled face, and once it had, Leski cocked her head at me. 

 “Are you ok?” she asked. “You seem flustered.” 

 “I was just…” 

 Jerking my thumb over my shoulder, I glanced behind me and rethought what I’d meant to say. 

 “Never mind. Can I help you with something?” 

 “I wanted to invite you to have breakfast with me,” Leski said. 

 She leaned to the side, revealing a drone with two trays hovering in front of it. 

 “But if you need more time, I can wait.” 

 “Why would you think I need more time?” I asked. 

 Pointing at me, Leski said, “Your shirt’s inside-out.” 

 I glanced down— 

 “Oh.” 

 —and pulled the offending garment over my head, turning it right-side-out to a choked noise. Looking toward its source, I found Leski covering her eyes with her face flushed. 

 Crap. I wasn’t at home, and from what I’d experienced so far, this household was steeped in traditions that most people in Lutov had long abandoned. Like modesty. 

 “Maybe… you should meet me in the garden in ten minutes,” Leski said. “Will that be enough time?” 

 “Plenty,” I said, shrugging into my shirt. “Listen. I’m sorr-” 

 “Bring Ace,” Leski interrupted. 

 She jabbed a finger into my room before racing toward the main house. Stuck in the doorway, I slowly shook my head before facing Ace. 

 “The hell is wrong with me today, buddy?” 

 Whatever it was, I did my best to shake it off while getting ready.  

 TTS Chapter Forty-Seven

Chapter 48: Breakfast and Unwelcome News
As I got dressed, I reviewed my list of mysteries, the ones that had once more begun flocking to me. 

 A few days ago, someone from Cerullis had helped to destroy Korix’s estate for unknown reasons. Reasons that I suspected had something to do with the attempt to dissolve the Crescent five years ago. This most recent scheme had happened the morning after Cerullis’ shukusen had invited me to their headquarters, hoping that I could serve as a character witness for Jastin’s elevation. 

 Did Alezand’s request mean that he was once more in the dark about antagonistic forces in his own House? I couldn’t decide which would be worse: that he knew and an entire House was poised against Korix and me or that he was incompetent enough to be ignorant of it. 

 Fortunately, I had a way to determine where Alezand’s loyalties lay: requesting Jastin’s official record. If that man truly was ready for elevation, it wouldn’t eliminate the possibility that the shukusen had turned violent, but if the opposite was true, it meant that Alezand had lied, and that would tell me plenty. 

 Hell, it had taken me far too long to think of doing that. 

 Even with my Lokke Vitras privileges, though, receiving an answer to my request would take a few hours. Considering how highly we valued what little privacy we had, Lutovish records were the only digitized part of the homeland that humans still regulated. Because of this, requests like mine could get backlogged, and since I’d tagged mine with no priority changes, my Lokke Vitras privileges would only push it so far ahead in line. 

 I wanted that time, though, because the second set of mysteries that I’d stumbled into had offered a fresh, new avenue of investigation. A few hours delay on the information that I needed was unlikely to hurt anyone, and in the meantime, I could get to know Leski. 

 She was waiting on the garden’s fringes for me, perched on a stone bench framed by rose bushes. Trays rested beside her with breakfast food on them, and as I came closer, she tucked a strand of silver hair behind an ear, adjusting one tray’s angle. 

 “Are you ready to greet the day now?” she asked. 

 “Yes. Sorry about before,” I said, rubbing my neck. “I-” 

 “Sit down,” Leski said, pointing opposite herself. 

 She still hadn’t looked at me. 

 Once I’d done as she’d said, I freed Ace’s ball from a pocket, looking over the garden for a good place to throw it, but this space was rigidly organized with hedges all over, boxing us in. Poor Ace, gazing at the balls as if it were the center of his world, might have to go without the exercise that I’d had planned for him. 

 The ball was plucked out of my hand, and Leski threw it. It arched high overhead, hurtling deep into the garden, and Ace shot after it, crashing through every plant in his way. 

 I winced at the broken branches he’d left behind. This was why I’d meant to put the ball away. Who knew how Niklaus would respond to damage like that? 

 Leski, however, was bouncing on the bench, laughing as she pattered her hands together in front of her mouth, so maybe… maybe that man’s wrath would be worth it. 

 “I’m glad you like him,” I said. “He hasn’t met many people, just me and my… teacher.” 

 “Why’s that?” Leski asked. 

 “Oh, we don’t get out much,” I said, “and before losing our home, no one came to visit either.” 

 “That’s sad,” Leski sighed. 

 And she turned toward me. And my explanation that we liked our solitude flew out the window. 

 Ducking my head, I retrieved my plate, digging into a blueberry crepe, but when Leski made no move for her own meal, I slowed down my rate of consumption. Until Ace returned, she watched me. I could feel her eyes on my skull, even if I couldn’t see them. 

 Soon enough, Ace trotted through a hedge, coming to drop the ball at my feet, but I nudged it toward Leski. She’d seemed to like throwing it before. Why not offer her another opportunity? 

 After taking the ball, she made no comment on the slobber surely coating it, merely throwing it in another impressive arch. Damn, she had a good arm. 

 Wiping her hands on her shorts, she asked, “Who are you?” 

 My fork froze mid-air. It seemed my stay here would follow a theme, at least when it came to me. 

 “What I mean is, are you Garreth or Zaeden?” she said. “One of those is clearly a persona, either the man you’ve shown my father or the one you’ve shown me. I’d like to know which it is.” 

 I set my plate down, forcing myself to look at her. 

 “What makes you think I’ll tell you the truth?” I asked. 

 Leski didn’t move, but somehow, I got the feeling that she was looking down her nose at me. 

 “You won’t lie to me,” she said. 

 She wasn’t wrong, but she couldn’t know that yet. Why did she trust me now? 

 “My name is Zaeden,” I said. “I don’t want your father to know who I am, so with him, I’m playing the part of Garreth. Will you tell him?” 

 “If I did, what would you do?” Leski asked. 

 Shrugging, I said, “Discredit you as much as possible. Play it by ear if that didn’t work. If absolutely necessary, I’d leave this place after erasing every trace of my presence.” 

 Cocking her head, Leski stared off into the distance, sucking her lip, before nodding once. 

 “A good answer. An honest one,” she said. “You pass.” 

 Lifting her plate, she started in on her breakfast, reversing our positions. 

 “The last question was to see if I’d lie,” I said in monotone. 

 Scuffing her foot through the grass, Leski nodded. 

 “That’s…” 

 Mother Time, what was the best way to put this? 

 “Terrible? Manipulative? Cruel?” Leski said before softly laughing. “I know. I’ve been told as much often enough.” 

 And she made no apology for what she’d done, something that she saw as deplorable behavior. Why did that make me smile? 

 “It was wise,” I said. “Don’t let anyone put you down for doing what you must to keep yourself and your loved ones safe-” 

 Ace burst into view, cutting me off, and thankful that he’d stopped me before I’d tumbled into a lecture, I took a turn with the ball, letting Leski eat. 

 Once I was done with my throw, I joined her, and within a minute, both of us had finished our food, although I continually scanned the garden for Niklaus while we did. He was sure to come looking for us soon. 

 Returning her plate to the bench, Leski tapped her fork on it while leaning toward me. 

 “You intrigue me, Zaeden,” she said. 

 “Thank y-?” 

 A returned request shut me up. Tagged with the highest priority, it was the official record for Jastin, and its arrival had come much earlier than anticipated, which started a slow creep of ice crystals along my gut. 

 Standing, I mumbled an excuse to Leski, calling for Ace while I created space between me and her. Only then did I open the report. 

 Birth name: Jastin, it read. Current name: Jayla. House: Cerullis. Stratus: First. 

 It continued, detailing how Jayla had obtained her newly acquired position, but I barely absorbed what I’d read, already having the information that I needed. 

 Alezand had lied. 

 A First Stratus, which Jayla was, didn’t get elevated. When their shukusen was ready to retire or move on to the Collective, they became the head of their House, but that wasn’t considered an elevation. 

 Which meant Alezand had lied. Which meant he’d probably directed his entire House to the purpose of killing Korix and me so that he could proceed with his plans unimpeded. 

 Korix had taken off to infiltrate Cerullis three days ago, and not only did he not know what I’d learned but he hadn’t contacted me either. 

 I’d been fucking right to be worried. SHIT. 

 Panic’s flames threatened to consume me, but the gust of a deep breath turned them to embers, present but not hot enough to make me reckless. Absently, I rubbed Ace’s head. 

 “We’ll find him, and once we’re together, we’ll work through this, like we always do,” I said. “Everything will be fine.” 

 He nuzzled me, and spinning, I strode to Leski. 

 “Does your family keep a skycruiser on the estate’s grounds?” I asked. 

 “Yes,” Leski said. “Why-?” 

 “I need you to take me to it after I’ve collected my things,” I said. 

 Once I was in the air, I’d contact Talira, updating her on what I’d learned. Hopefully, she’d know which House Cerullis facility Korix’s persona had been assigned to. 

 In my wake, Leski struggled to keep up. 

 “Wait!” she called. “You can borrow a skycruiser if you need it, but my father will be furious if you leave without saying goodbye. He should be greeting our newest arrival right now, but if you delay your departure-” 

 “Newest arrival?” I asked. “As in another guest?” 

 Hmm. Why hadn’t Niklaus told me about this? Had he just forgotten or-? 

 The question vanished from my head as I rounded a corner and the front of the main house came into view. By its door, Niklaus was chatting with shukusen Alezand of House Cerullis, my newest enemy. 

 TTS Chapter Forty-Eight

Chapter 49: He's a Surprise
Darting back around the corner, I shot out an arm, driving Leski into the wall beside me. 

 What was he doing here? Come on! What were the chances that Alezand would show up not five minutes after I’d received confirmation that he’d had a hand in my home’s glassing? 

 “Zae-” Leski started. 

 Rolling to push her into the brick, I pressed a hand over her mouth. 

 “Don’t say that name,” I whispered. 

 Damn, those brown eyes had gone wide. With a wince, I pulled my hand away. 

 “Can you read sub-vocals?” I said. 

 When she nodded, I thanked my luck. Not many people outside of House Kolb opted to have that functionality added to their arrays, and holding this conversation via messages would have taken forever. 

 “I have reason to believe that your father’s newest guest wants me dead,” I said. “He’s unlikely to be a danger to you or your family, but I don’t know what will happen if he learns that I’m here. So, I need you to join your father and act like nothing’s wrong. If your second guest asks about me, you must only refer to me as Garreth. Tell him I’ve gone walking the moors. He should believe that. Can you do as I’ve asked?” 

 I expected a swarm of questions or hysteria from her. Instead, I got concern tinged with fear. 

 “He really wants to… kill you?” Leski asked in sub-vocals. 

 Oh, how I missed the reverence that the average citizen paid to life. 

 “Me and someone I hold most dear,” I said. 

 Her face hardened into sharp lines, even if worry also danced in her eyes. 

 “Then, I’ll do everything I can to help,” she said. 

 “Thank you.” 

 I slowly freed her, watching for signs that she’d only been telling me what I’d wanted to hear, but shaking herself, Leski calmly walked around the corner. 

 Now, what should I do? Should I continue with my plan, or should I take this presented opportunity to spy on Alezand? 

 He had to have come here, so soon after attacking Korix and me, for a reason. The question was why. 

 In the end, I had Ace stay where he was before finding the closest entrance to the main house. While sneaking through the place, I tapped into the feeds of every recorder here, but when Niklaus and Alezand came inside, I cursed under my breath. 

 They were gesturing as if they were having a conversation, but the recorders weren’t catching sound from them. Sub-vocals like what I’d used with Leski, it had to be, and these recorders didn’t pick up on the subtleties needed to read them. I’d have to guess where those two were headed and hope they’d return to speaking aloud once they felt safe. 

 While most of my attention went to tracking them, I also kept an eye on Leski. Once Alezand and Niklaus had left her in the house’s foyer, she paced there for a while with one hand to her forehead before throwing them both overhead and stalking off. 

 Meanwhile, I was fairly certain of where the other two were headed, so I sped ahead of them to get into position. The small sitting room, overlooking the garden, was well-lit and empty, save for a few chairs and most importantly, a line of built-in showcases along one wall. 

 With a running leap, I vaulted atop these, spreading myself flat. When entering a room, most people didn’t look above eye level unless they were expecting an intruder, and if either of these men happened to look up when they came inside, an ornately decorative crenelation rose several centimeters above the top of the showcases. It didn’t hide me completely, but with the shadows it created, the average eye would skip over the lump that was me. 

 Mother Time, what I wouldn’t give for the camouflage technique that Korix had used at the ball, although I was grateful that he’d taught me how to blend in without it right now. 

 I went motionless in the split second before Niklaus and Alezand glided into the room, heading for a pair of chairs. 

 “Avan, I hate sub-vocals,” Niklaus said. 

 “Careful. You’re letting your age show,” Alezand replied with a chuckle. “Avan?” 

 “You know, it wasn’t that long ago that people on both sides of the water used the old word for life-” 

 “I’m aware,” Alezand interrupted. “Can we please get started? I’m expected elsewhere soon.” 

 Making a face, Niklaus poured drinks from the decanter on the table between them, offering one to Alezand. 

 “So, what’s next?” he asked. 

 Swirling the liquid in his tumbler, Alezand stared at his drink before downing half of it in one gulp. 

 “We need more weapons,” he said over his tumbler’s rim. 

 Weapons? He’d come here to ask for weapons? Why would Alezand think a House Kirst member could get him anything like that? 

 “More?” Niklaus spluttered. “What I’ve already given you could level Xygek! Years ago, I gave you a damn Dissolver, for Mother Time’s sake!” 

 Wait, what? That was… 

 Not much more unbelievable than finding Ibisian sympathizers in House Vaessa. Mother Time, I should remember to keep my mind open. 

 But with this in mind, it meant that Fyester, Tatum, and their compatriots hadn't been working alone so long ago. Having proof that someone else had had a hand in their crimes should bring me peace, but instead, I was set awhirl. 

 How had Korix missed this? Had he fallen so deeply into what was eating at his mind that he’d missed evidence of it? If so, why hadn’t he told me about his deterioration? 

 “You did as you were told because you must, just like me and my House,” Alezand snapped. “Ages ago, you and the others made a pact with something you didn’t understand. They would help you drive those from beyond the stars back to their home, and in return, you would one day give them what they most desire. Unfortunately for us both, the time has come to pay that price.” 

 “Rowan and the rest should never have gone to them. It may have taken longer and cost more lives, but we could have defeated our enemy on our own,” Niklaus said. “Hell, your predecessor, Lord Asher, started looking into them, hoping to find an advantage that we could use in case they betrayed us-” 

 “I don’t care to hear a history lesson right now,” Alezand said. “Like most of Lutov, I’d rather let your generation fade into nothing, content with our dramatization of it.” 

 “Even if it’s insultingly inaccurate?” Niklaus hissed. 

 Alezand chopped a hand through the air. 

 “All that matters is that the Founders did what they had to, and now, so will you,” he said. “Use your status as a founder, contact the friends you have in Kolb and Zan, and get my House more weapons. Otherwise, they may come to make their greetings in person.” 

 “There’s no need for threats, young one,” Niklaus said. “I know how they work, remember?” 

 The two of them fell silent, each lost in his own thoughts while I tried to wrap my head around what they’d said. Apparently, a member of Kirst, the House in charge of education —of all things—could get his hands on weapons. That fun discovery was easier to comprehend than the fact that this plot had something to do with Lutov’s ancient history, with those from beyond the stars. 

 And what these two were suggesting contradicted everything that House Kirst taught about our war with those alien beings. If true, could it mean that the origins of the Lokke Vitras, mostly centered around that time, were just as false? 

 “What will you do with them?” Niklaus asked. 

 “The weapons?” Alezand said. “I don’t know. They don’t tell me anything. I just follow their orders, trying to avoid a visit from- from their  Favored.” 

 Both men shuddered, and Niklaus set his tumbler on the table. 

 “Is there anything else?” he asked. 

 “You know there is,” Alezand said. 

 Slumping, Niklaus nodded. 

 “Leski. You want to check on her,” he said. “Mother Time, I regret submitting an application for that girl more often than not. She’s so rebellious and behaves not at all as a good daughter should, but Laryse wanted a child, and I loved that woman…” 

 Falling silent, he visibly swallowed before shaking himself. 

 “All right. You can join us for lunch, although it won’t be for a few hours yet. Hopefully, that will work with your schedule. If so, you can enjoy my home’s hospitality until then,” he said. “I should warn you, though. I have another guest staying with me right now, here as repayment for a favor. He’s House Kolb and high Stratus from what I can tell. If you’d like, I can refrain from inviting him to our meal.” 

 I stopped breathing, certain that one of them would search the room after the reminder of a possible operative in their midst. 

 “A high Stratus Kolb member, you say?” Alezand said, tapping his lips before smiling. “You should have him come. I’m curious now.” 

 Niklaus shrugged. 

 “If that’s what you want,” he said. “Now, may I return to my business, or did you have other inconveniences to bother me with?” 

 Rising to his feet, Alezand said, “Not at all, although I’d appreciate it if you stopped treating me with such hostility. I don’t like our situation any more than you do.” 

 “That doesn’t change the fact that I don’t like you, something I’m sure you can just as easily say about me, but I take your point,” Niklaus said. “Make yourself at home, shukusen. A drone will fetch you when lunch is ready.” 

 “Much appreciated,” Alezand said. 

 He left, and for nearly a minute, Niklaus sat motionless. Then, he hunched forward, clapping his hands over his mouth. 

 “FUUUUUCK!” he shouted into them. 

 Vigorously rubbing his face, he got to his feet and shook out his arms. Putting his appearance in order, he strode out of the room, and through the house’s recorders, I watched him travel to his office while Alezand got settled in the library. Then, I rolled to the floor. 

 “This is bad,” I said. 

 Should I extract now? I had enough of a case for Talira to order an assault on House Cerullis. 

 Damn. One House fighting another, probably out in the open too. I hadn’t thought it could happen, but maybe if I was lucky, it wouldn’t. 

 But seriously. What was I thinking? Somehow, I’d stumbled onto a greater threat to Lutov than anything Korix had faced, and I wasn’t him. I wasn’t the Lokke Vitras. How was I supposed to neutralize such great danger? How did I save us? 

 “By taking it one step at a time,” I hissed at myself. 

 So, first. Did I leave with what I’d learned or stay, hoping for more details? 

 I wished I could just send a message to Talira from here, but if I did, one of my targets might note or intercept it. Without Lokke Vitras privileges, neither of them could break the security processes on my communications, not in a timely manner at least, but even knowing that a message had been sent from here to Xygek would put them on alert far sooner than I’d like. 

 And much as I might want to leave, in part so I could go find Korix right fucking now, I didn’t have enough information to do that yet. What I’d learned would probably rip the obvious enemy out of Cerullis’ heart, but nothing would be done about the mysterious them, the ones I had yet to identify. A group that had obviously been manipulating at least one Lutovish House for years. 

 I wouldn’t let them get away this time. No one else would die because they had their fingers stuck in someone’s brain. I’d find the culprit that was hiding behind Cerullis’ actions, and I would crush them. 

 Which meant I was staying for lunch. Which meant I needed to prepare.

Chapter 50: A Meal with the Enemy
First, I secured Ace in the guesthouse, leaving him with an elaborate, treat-filled puzzle to solve. While there, I got myself properly attired for a meal with the enemy before leaving to find Leski. 

 After slipping into the room she was in, I soundlessly closed the door behind me. With hardwood floors, a high ceiling, and mirrored walls, this space felt enormous, which the piano music echoing in it only highlighted. 

 A rounded, wooden bar had been bolted to the mirrors, but Leski wasn’t using it at the moment. In a black leotard and strange, ribboned shoes, she leapt and spun around the room, making something that must have taken ages to master look like child’s play. 

 Ballet. That explained why she’d been so skilled when we’d danced at the ball. If she’d learned this obscure dance form, she must have run out of modern ones to study. 

 Leaning on the door frame, I crossed my arms and watched. Not only did I have the time to indulge in the observation of such rare art, but ingratiating Leski to me would probably make my efforts over the next fifteen minutes go easier. 

 I knew she’d seen me since I’d entered. Considering she hadn’t stopped dancing, I had to assume that she liked an audience or that she at least didn’t mind having one, and well did I know the dangers of interrupting an artist of any kind while they were working. 

 Eventually, she brought her feet together, lowering her arms, but despite the dance’s conclusion, I didn’t clap. I’d seen her grimace when applause had surrounded us at the Founder’s Day Ball. 

 “I assume that’s your work as well,” I said, jerking my head toward where piano music was emerging into the room. 

 With a half-smile, Leski met my eyes in the mirror. 

 “How did you know?” she asked. 

 “I’ve heard you play before,” I said. “You tend to linger on high notes, letting them ring, before continuing forward with greater force. If you haven’t already, you should try a Maliva piece. It would suit your style.” 

 Slowly, Leski turned toward me with her face unreadable. 

 “Do you play?” she asked. 

 Shrugging, I said, “I can if required, but I’ve never coaxed the music from the music, if you know what I mean. I’m better at playing technically or analyzing other pianists’ work.” 

 “And you can dance, and your high Stratus House Kolb. I think,” Leski said, frowning at that last part. “If you don’t mind me asking, how old are you? I’d like to know how long it will take me to master so many skills.” 

 “Um…” 

 Shifting in place, I licked my lips. What an awkward question. When it came to this subject, she’d provided the only sensible reason I could think of to ask about my age, but that made it no less uncomfortable for me. Even with that, though, I gave her the truth. 

 “I turned thirty-seven a few days ago. But you’ve already mastered many of your own skills, and you’re what? Twenty-five? You said your House naming is this year.” 

 Divert attention back to her as quickly as possible. It was better if she didn’t learn about my other proficiencies, whether those like dancing or the ones that were more useful to my trade. 

 “I’d hardly call myself a master of them but…” 

 Leski gave me a speculative look. 

 “You’re not here to compliment me, not when you’re dressed like that. After what you said earlier, I thought you’d be long gone by now. What happened?” 

 “I decided Alezand’s arrival was more fortuitous than a disaster,” I said. “Learning what he’s up to will be much easier here than in Xygek.” 

 “Yes…” Leski drawled. “Why does House Cerullis’ shukusen want you, a relative unknown, dead, by the way?” 

 The piano piece ended with its music fading into silence. 

 I had my theories about Alezand’s motivations, namely that he wanted the chief threats to his plan removed from the board, but I couldn’t tell Leski that. She’d want to know how I was a threat to a shukusen, and that, I couldn’t answer. Best to cut this line of questioning off here. 

 “I can’t tell you,” I said. 

 Leski snapped her eyes to slits. 

 “Because it’s House business or because you don’t want to?” she asked. 

 With a grin, I said, “A little of both.” 

 Barking a laugh, Leski rested a hand on her hip. 

 “I did strongly suggest that you tell me the truth earlier, so I guess I deserved that,” she said. “Fine. I won’t pry. Why did you come to me before investigating Alezand, then?” 

 “I wanted to make sure we’re on the same page,” I said. 

 “Yes, yes. I know you don’t want me exposing you,” Leski said, dismissively flicking her fingers toward me. “What else?” 

 This next part would be uncomfortable. It was something I’d do with Korix, but he wasn’t here, and I needed the reassurance, considering what was on the line this time. I’d work with who I had. 

 “You seem to be good at reading people,” I said. “Tell me. What do you see?” 

 Pushing off the wall, I gestured at my body, waiting for Leski to examine me. With a cocked head and pursed lips, she ran her eyes over my modified outfit. 

 I’d taken the sleeves off of the jacket—an alteration that by itself might kill Niklaus—before using them to create a crude, cowl-like hood, wrapped around my neck. With the few leftover strips of cloth, I’d created a flimsy holster at the small of my back. Its fragile state didn’t concern me too much, though, as the pistol it was holding required a thumbprint to fire, the only type of weapons I’d let hang from me in such an easily accessible place. Thank Mother Time I’d been wearing my usual assortment of weapons before the estate had been glassed. 

 I’d strapped knives down my arms, making my shirt’s sleeves bunch between them. The only other change I’d made to that piece of clothing was to mute its brilliant green color with a bit of charcoal. 

 I hadn’t touched one leg of my slacks, letting it fall to the ankle, but I’d removed the lower half of the second in a jagged line at the knee, exposing my combat boot and the second pistol that I’d shoved into it. 

 Finished with her assessment, Leski said, “I see the quintessential House Kolb member: loud and overly reliant on brute force.” 

 I flashed a smile at her. 

 “Obviously, you’ve never heard of operatives before.” 

 When Leski’s expression turned indignant, I raised a hand before she could retort. 

 “I’m sorry. That was uncalled for,” I said, “especially after you confirmed the image I’m trying to present. 

 “You want to look like a dumb ape?” Leski hissed. 

 Internally, I winced. I hadn’t meant to piss her off. 

 “Yes. After what happened, I want Alezand to think that I’ve returned to basic House Kolb training, despite what he knows about me,” I said. “If he does, he’s unlikely to see me coming from another angle later.” 

 “Oh,” Leski said. “That’s smart.” 

 Shaking my head, I said, “It’s simple tactics, nothing more. Now, as for the last thing I wanted to discuss…” 

 I didn’t know how I should put this or how much I should share. This part was the least crucial of the concerns I’d had about Leski, and yet, I most wanted it to go my way. 

 “What is it?” she asked. 

 I’d just have to follow my long-trained instincts in this. 

 “What I’m about to request is strictly voluntary,” I said. “I need you to understand that.” 

 “Ok…” Leski drawled. 

 Gritting my teeth, I carefully said, “It would be beneficial to all parties involved if you came to lunch at my side.” 

 If she did, my implied protection might be enough to keep her safe from Alezand and his House, which I’d promised Niklaus I’d do. As for maintaining his safety, it was pretty clear where he’d made his bed. 

 Leski blinked at me, and I prepared to work around her refusal. 

 “Zaeden, are you asking me to this lunch as a date?” she asked. 

 ...What? 

 “Hell, no,” I yelped. “If I were taking you on a date, we’d be doing something much nicer than attending a family-” 

 Sucking in a breath, I shut up. 

 What had that been? The fuck had that been? No one had made me lose control like that except for Korix… and perhaps a few of my partners in the past. Was I… attracted to Leski? Hell, that would be inconvenient. 

 I had been out of the game for a while, though. Maybe I’d missed the signs of attraction, even the ones coming from me. 

 But no… that couldn’t be it. She simply intrigued me. It had to be that, and because I found her interesting, I’d want her to have a nice time on a potential date. Which we weren’t doing. 

 So, why did she look so wickedly triumphant? 

 “Ok, sure,” she said. 

 It was my turn to blankly blink. 

 “You don’t want to know why I’m asking you to do this?” I said. 

 “Why would I need to know your reasons?” Leski asked. “Entering the dining room with you should be fun, if only to see the infuriated look on my father’s face. I so love seeing it.” 

 And why was that? Did she dislike her father that much? 

 Even still, thank Mother Time. I hadn’t been looking forward to sharing my theories about why Alezand was staying for lunch with her. 

 “In that case, you have about five minutes to get ready,” I said. “I received your father’s summons for us a while ago.” 

 “What?” Leski shouted. 

 She rushed for the door, pausing before going through it. 

 “How did you keep his message from reaching me?” she asked. 

 “Do you want an answer to that, or do you want to change?” I shot back. 

 Growling, Leski tore through the door with me on her heels, although I didn’t join her in her barrel down the hall. 

 “I’ll meet you outside the dining room,” I called after her. 

 That had gone better than I’d expected, although I wasn’t sure why I’d thought it might go poorly. Leski had been nothing but cooperative with me throughout today’s strange events. Why should now be any different? 

 I needed to stop focusing on her, though. Get my head in the next part of this game. It would be much more difficult than everything else. 

 When Leski and I entered the dining room, both Alezand and Niklaus broke away from what had seemed like a pleasant conversation with very different looks on their faces. Niklaus looked like his daughter had predicted, furious, while Alezand seemed… speculative. 

 Both men were already standing behind their chosen positions at the table, so Leski and I arranged ourselves behind the remaining chairs, but once we were in place, lunch followed the formula from last night’s dinner to a T. After introductions had been made, Niklaus and Alezand ignored me for the most part, talking solely with each other. My plans for this meal didn’t involve me speaking, though. It was enough that I was here, displaying no fear, and besides, if I wasn’t required to speak, I could more closely watch the proceedings. 

 I didn’t see much. Everyone was hiding behind enforced manners with no one willing to rock the boat. Not until the end. 

 “If you don’t mind, Niklaus, I’d like a moment alone with Garreth before taking my leave,” Alezand said. “I’ll come to say my farewells soon.” 

 “Of course, shukusen,” Niklaus said. “I’ll wait for you outside.” 

 As her father passed behind her, Leski raised an eyebrow at me, but I didn’t respond to it. I’d already made my point when it came to her. Any further interaction might come off as affection, a potential weakness, so I was grateful when Niklaus took his daughter’s elbow—that had seemed a little… rough—and dragged her out of the room. 

 Which left Alezand and me sitting across the table from one another. Neither of us spoke while drones cleared the table. I didn’t because I had no need to, and he didn’t because, well… 

 Once the last drone had left the room, Alezand said, “I assume you’ve isolated this room from recorders.” 

 Yeah, that was what I’d thought. He wanted complete privacy. Also, what was it with people expecting me to be truthful today? 

 “I thought you’d want it that way,” I said. 

 “I do,” Alezand said. 

 When I gave him nothing in return, he squirmed a bit before continuing. 

 “Do you have something you want to say to me?” 

 Oh, so many things. 

 “The glassing of my evushk’s estate,” I said in monotone. “A House Cerullis member caused it. I watched her place the control for the satellite. Do you know how many people would have died if I hadn’t been awake, shukusen?” 

 Wincing, Alezand said, “I didn’t know. Maybe that makes me a bad head of House, but I had no idea what that Cerullis member meant to do. I only learned about it when she came to me yesterday, wracked with guilt. She’s in custody, by the way, waiting for you to interrogate her.” 

 If he was playing the ignorance card, he probably didn’t know that I’d overheard his conversation with Niklaus or that I’d requested Jastin-become-Jayla’s official record. 

 Good. I could push further, then. 

 “If I didn’t believe you,” I said, “if I invoked my right to take you as my prisoner and bring you to the capital, what would you do?” 

 “Come willingly, of course. I have nothing to hide. I’d even step down as shukusen if required. My First Stratus is ready to fill my shoes, but this is why I invited you to my headquarters at the ball,” Alezand said. “Several people in my House have splintered away from the majority with Jastin serving as their leader. Considering your personal connection to the man, I thought you might be able to solve the problem without involving your evushk.” 

 Oh, I’d be sick. So many things in his little speech repelled me. The obvious lies. The attempt at manipulating me. The reference to Jayla as a man. Using her as a lure to his headquarters. It took more effort than normal to interlace my fingers on the table and project nonchalance. 

 “Ok. Say I believe you,” I said. “Let’s say you’ve lost control of a part of your House. How long before Cerullis is lost to this violent minority?” 

 “Maybe… two or three weeks?” Alezand said. “I can’t say for sure. It’s not my area of expertise.” 

 I nodded in understanding, if perhaps not the type that he might think. It was likely that he’d unconsciously associated his supposed coup with his very real conspiracy, and if he had, he might have also given me a rough timeline for when he’d make his next move. 

 Maybe. 

 “This is a serious problem,” I said. “Before I can leave here, I have things to handle regarding the glassing, but visiting House Cerullis’ headquarters will be the first thing I do after returning to Xygek. Let’s set a tentative appointment for say… two days from now?” 

 Alezand slumped in his chair. 

 “Oh, thank Mother Time,” he said. “Perhaps now, I can fix this.” 

 “You’ll owe me,” I said. “If you don’t want me involving my evushk, that is.” 

 Slowly nodding, Alezand said, “Yes. I will.” 

 Slapping his hands to the table, he pushed away from it. 

 “I’m glad to have run into you here… Garreth,” he said. “If you’ll excuse me, I need to get home to ensure that everything's prepared for your arrival.” 

 Flicking my fingers in dismissal, I watched the shukusen leave. He’d return to his people, believing me primed for the trap they had planned. 

 I wished I could have learned more from Alezand, prying his secrets out of him in whatever way I must, but it was better if he and those controlling him believed me ignorant of their machinations for now. He could leave this place unharmed. 

 After all, I had one more avenue of investigation left to explore here. 

 TTS Chapter Fifty

Chapter 51: The Enemy in Your House
Avoiding Leski for the rest of the day became the most annoying trial I’d endured in years. Having her constantly chasing me around the estate was bad enough, but when that effort failed, she plopped in front of the guesthouse’s door and refused to move. I had to bypass my own security, set earlier this morning, to get inside so I could let Ace out. 

 All of which was… irritating. 

 I knew why she was looking for me. In her place, I’d want answers too, but now that she likely no longer needed my protection, I should fade out of her life, and it would be better if that process started today, even if it complicated my afternoon. It would hurt her less. 

 When night rolled around, however, Leski gave up, heading for bed, and once she was in her room, I stopped monitoring her. The recorder outside of her door would alert me if she left her room, but I wouldn’t actively watch her anymore. I had more important things to do. 

 There were probably… 

 No. There were definitely easier ways to get into Niklaus’ bedroom than the route I’d chosen, but in recent months, I’d gotten out of practice with my acrobatics, which the route I’d chosen would require. Plus, I deserved to do something fun after this evening. 

 The estate’s main building was relatively plain on the outside: sheer walls with windows and little else to decorate them, which meant practically no handholds. What might normally be a problem, however, became less of one due to the many towering trees that Niklaus had planted near the house. 

 Jumping through the branches of one to reach the height I’d need took me maybe two minutes, and then came the leap for the roof. I nearly missed, and while I hauled myself over the roof’s eave, my fingertips screamed about their newly torn state. 

 It was a rather embarrassing performance, all told. If he’d been here, Korix would have made me climb to the ground and start all over again. Fortunately, he was nowhere nearby. 

 Mother Time, I hoped he was ok. 

 Racing across shingles, I sucked on my fingers, minimizing any biological traces I might leave behind, while my body worked to heal the abrasions on them. By the time I was standing over Niklaus’ bedroom window, I was out of breath and sorely missing my mag hook. It would have made this process much easier but no… I’d had to have a challenge. 

 I hated it when poor decisions came back to bite me, especially when that happened so quickly. 

 Also, the piece of tech that I wanted had been vaporized in the glassing, like the rest of Korix’s estate, and I hadn’t had an opportunity to replace it. So, I supposed I couldn’t have used a mag hook anyway, but who was paying attention to details like that? 

 After dropping to hang from the window’s sill, I winced at my once more scraped to hell fingers, and wrenching the glass panes open, I flowed into the darkness beyond. Niklaus was peacefully sleeping in his bed, and seeing this unguarded image, I almost regretted what was coming. 

 Almost. 

 Once I was arranged, I sent a request for the room’s lights to turn on, and with brightness splashing over him, Niklaus slowly came to awareness. When this was finished, he started thrashing, but he had a hard time of it with me sitting on his hips. 

 I’d often listened to stories where the hero waited in a darkened corner for their enemy to wake up so they could get answers, and I could see how that might be perceived as a threat. In my experience, though, nothing induced more terror in a target than having them wake up to a stranger pinning them to their bed with a gun’s muzzle in their face. 

 The trick to this method was keeping the target subdued until they realized that they were helpless. Reaching that state took Niklaus quite a while, but when he did, he switched to indignation. 

 “What the hell do you think you’re doing?” he snapped. “I’ll report this to Talira if you don’t leave right now! You’ll be reduced in Stratus…” 

 I ignored him as he continued with his rant. This was a somewhat atypical reaction for someone in his situation but not unexpected. 

 “Last night, you wanted to know who I am,” I said, interrupting his tirade. “Are you still curious about that?” 

 Niklaus screwed his face up while its hue reddened. 

 “So, you’re not Garreth, as I thought,” he spat. 

 I took a moment to wipe away the saliva that his enthusiasm had launched into my face, inspecting that hand for a heartbeat. 

 Distastefully flicking my fingers, I said, “No. My name is Zaeden.” 

 I’d always found watching the process of realization in someone else an interesting experience. It did different things to everyone. For Niklaus, it made him go limp until he was like a corpse beneath me. 

 “But… Zaeden is dead,” he said. 

 Clicking my tongue, I tapped my rifle on his skull. 

 “You’re not wrong. I am, in essence, not one of the living,” I said, “and you know what that means, don’t you, Niklaus?” 

 His jaw worked, but he said nothing, and after I’d given him a moment, I sighed. 

 “I’m the Lokke Vitras to come, which should scare even a founder like you,” I said, “because it means that I’m well within my rights to be here. If I decided to squeeze this trigger and end your life, I’d also be within my rights because you, good sir, have threatened Lutov.” 

 Niklaus had turned nearly as white as his sheets, convulsively swallowing until he opened his mouth. Probably to plead for his life. 

 “Fortunately for you, I need something you possess,” I said before he could get started. “So, I’m going to get off of you. I’m going to dissipate my rifle, and the two of us are going to have a civil chat. You will not call for help. You will not send any messages while we’re speaking, and you will not run away from me. I’m more than capable of countering these and any other cries for help that you may want to make, but I prefer to limit the amount of work that I must do. So, please. Answer my questions, and I’ll leave you be. Do we understand one another?” 

 Niklaus cautiously nodded, bouncing the metal circle of a gun’s muzzle on his head, and I hopped to the floor with my rifle gone before my feet had hit it. 

 “Excellent!” 

 When I smiled at him, Niklaus shivered, shuffling backward until his back had hit his bed’s headboard. 

 Clearing his throat, he asked, “What do you want?” 

 “You had a conversation with shukusen Alezand today,” I said. “I want to know more about what you discussed.” 

 “You’ll have to be more specific,” Niklaus said. “He and I spoke often this morning.” 

 Tutting, I said, “You know exactly what I mean, but since you insist…” 

 I assumed a replica of Niklaus’ bearing before gruffly speaking. 

 “So, what’s next?” 

 Shifting to something that more resembled Alezand, I continued in a simpering tone. 

 “We need more weapons.” 

 After one more change, Niklaus waved for me to stop. 

 “Ok, ok. Clearly you overheard us,” he said. “In a way, I’m glad of it. If they learn that this information was forced from me, then maybe they won’t hurt Leski.” 

 There was that vague ‘they’ again… 

 Wait. 

 “What do you mean ‘hurt Leski’?” I asked. 

 I’d thought the only threat to her was coming from House Cerullis. How else was she in danger? 

 “If you heard that conversation, then you know about the Ancients Pact, the deal that the Founders made to defeat those from beyond the stars, and how it’s come time to pay our end of it,” Niklaus said. “Well, even though I wasn’t a Founder, just a vassal to one, they expect me to fulfill the bargain, and they’re using Leski as leverage to keep me in line. For as much trouble as she brings me, I love my daughter, young warrior. I don’t want her to become a burnt-out husk.” 

 My mouth went dry. 

 “Burnt-out husk?” I asked, already knowing what my request for clarification would gain me. 

 “Yes. They can get into people’s heads before destroying everything that makes someone who they are,” Niklaus said. “You may have seen an example of this. A few years ago, several people tried to dissolve the Crescent during a House naming ceremony at their behest. The group was headed by… oh, what was his name? He had the strangest, purple eyes.” 

 He’d led those people. 

 “Fyester,” I said, “although the people who loved him called him Fy.” 

 Raising an eyebrow, Niklaus said, “Must have been someone special if you remember him.” 

 “I know the names of everyone I’ve killed,” I absently said. “A list of them steadily grows in my array.” 

 Leski couldn’t die like Fyester had. If she did, she would haunt me for the rest of my life, just as surely as he already did. So, how did I stop the threat to Lutov while also keeping her safe? 

 “How do they get in someone’s head?” I asked. 

 “I’m not sure,” Niklaus said with a grimace. “Back in the day, Lord Asher Cerullis put far too much time and effort into a failed attempt at figuring that out before moving on to other experiments. I lost touch with him shortly before they became his focus, so when it comes to that side of things, I don’t know much.” 

 Maybe Talira would let me rope Pheniks into this crisis. I was sure shukusen Arion wouldn’t mind sparing my brother for a problem this significant, and if anyone could best a Founder in the sciences, it’d be him. 

 Getting his help was an idea for the long term, though. How did I delay this mysterious group for long enough that we could learn how to prevent their invasion of our heads? Or of more relevance… 

 “Who are they?” 

 Niklaus became prey before a predator. Rapid gasps were the only thing to flutter his still frame. 

 “I can’t,” he whined. “I’m sorry, but I can’t. I’ve given you all the hints I can. Until Leski’s safe, you’ll have to figure out the rest on your own.” 

 Interesting. A group that scared him more than I did. 

 It made sense. If they’d had the power to force Lutov’s ancient enemy off of our planet, I was terrified of them too. This didn’t help me, though. 

 “Niklaus, I’d like to help your daughter. Safeguarding Lutov and her citizens is my job, and that includes Leski,” I said, “but from what I overheard, it sounds like they and the people they control mean to commence their plan soon. I need you to give me something that I can use to delay both parties. If I can gain us time, we can work to negate their hold on us. Fight them off.” 

 A hysterical cackle was flung into the air before Niklaus could clap his hands over his mouth. 

 With wide eyes, he said, “You want to fight them? Even the Founders gave up on that. Or the sane ones did, at least.” 

 “Do you have a better idea?” I asked. 

 Niklaus stared at me for so long that the passing seconds became insects, crawling over my skin, and sighing, I requested my rifle. 

 “Talk, or I’ll make you.” 

 He lifted his hands. 

 “If you hamper House Cerullis’ progress, you’ll slow them down,” he said. “I don’t know much about… any of this, really. They’ve only used my influence to get them weapons, but what I’ve procured for Alezand has gone to Cerullis’ facility on the southeastern border of the Southern Fells.” 

 “Ok. Good. I can work with that,” I said. “Anything else I should know?” 

 “Only that shukusen Alezand and… their Favored—” 

 Niklaus hiccupped on a laugh. 

 “—will probably be there.” 

 Favored, like in the stories? Had those legendary warriors, the first Lokke Vitras’ closest allies, actually been agents of this unnamed foe? Enough time had passed since the war that facts about it, like who’d been allied with whom, could have gotten warped. 

 “I don’t suppose you’ll tell me who this Favored is, will you?” I said. 

 With a nervous giggle, Niklaus frantically shook his head. 

 “Thought not. That’s fine. I’ll make do,” I said. “For now, I want you to stay here and act like we never spoke, but once I’ve given House Cerullis and their masters something to think about, I’ll need you and Leski in Xygek. Give me your array’s access information so I can message you.” 

 Without protest, Niklaus waved it to me, and I paused, wondering if I was forgetting something. I badly wanted to ask him about Korix, but if he didn’t know what was going on with Cerullis as a whole, he wouldn’t know the lowly persona that my evushk would have taken in the House. Which left… 

 “I require a skycruiser,” I said. 

 “Please,” Niklaus said, “take whatever you need.” 

 With a sharp nod, I said, “I was never here, Niklaus.” 

 I left him there, probably still in shock from his rude awakening. 

 As the door fell closed behind me, something scuffed on the floor toward the end of the hallway, but I ignored it. Since entering the house through Niklaus’ window, I’d been monitoring this corridor, and no hostiles had come near it. The sound wasn’t worth investigating further. 

 After retrieving Ace, I found the estate’s hangar, and locating the fastest vehicle there, I got my dog into it before making a trip back to the kitchen for provisions. While doing that, I got ahold of the coordinates for House Cerullis’ Southern Fells facility before starting a report on my findings for Talira, although I wouldn’t send that to her until it was too late for her to stop my plans. 

 I continued working on it once I was in the air, snacking on stupidly salted popcorn while Ace looked on longingly. Junk food like this had always sped me through the boring, paperwork part of what I did, so when the situation called for it, I indulged. 

 Nothing changed for an hour, nothing except for me going through other snacks, but after a fourth stomach grumble rose from behind me, I relented in my feigned ignorance. When I next put my bag of chips down, I angled its opening toward the back of the skycruiser, and after a pause, a hand snaked from behind my seat to grab at the snack. After it retreated, crunching sounds filled the air, and I took my chips back. 

 Picking through the bag’s remnants, I said, “When you’re ready, you should climb up here. We need to talk.” 

 After shuffling for a bit, Leski stuck her head into the front before crawling to huddle in the seat beside me. 

 “Hi,” she said. 

 TTS Chapter Fifty-One

Chapter 52: Frustrating Women and Easy Missions
Finishing off my snack, I glanced over my stowaway and almost didn’t recognize her, considering everything she’d done to alter her appearance. 

 She’d changed her hair color, for one. Not nearly enough time had passed to do that naturally, but its silver and purple hues had faded. A neutral brown now, it flared and stopped at chin length, softening her jawline, and this blurring continued over her face. She must have started a change to her features not long ago because they’d nearly reached the sweet spot between perfect clarity and too blurry to make out. 

 She also wasn’t wearing her typical, eye-catching clothes. Instead, House-issued slacks and a shirt were draped over her frame. 

 Bending toward her, I caught a strand of her hair between two fingers. 

 “Artificially dyed?” I asked. 

 Blushing, Leski said, “It’s good for last-minute social engagements where your hair color won’t match your outfit. Since changing it naturally can take a while…” 

 I nodded, dropping my hold. 

 “When did you start dying it?” I asked. “That’s a lengthy process too.” 

 “In between sessions of searching for you,” Leski said. “I figured you’d stayed at the house because several recorders’ feeds kept looping, but I could never catch you.” 

 So, that was how she’d kept showing up where I’d been not two minutes before! Clever girl. 

 “Good outfit choice too,” I said. “You’ll blend in.” 

 “That was the idea,” she said. 

 Leaning against the skycruiser’s door, I crossed my arms, examining her again. 

 “How long have you wanted to be an operative?” I asked. “It’s why you got so upset when I mentioned them before, right?” 

 Leski flushed a deep crimson while her mouth flapped open. 

 “I… That’s…” 

 “Relax. I’m not asking which House you’ll join,” I said, “and I’m certainly not recruiting for one. No House, remember?” 

 “Yes, but I thought-” 

 Clicking her teeth together, Leski huddled tighter on herself. 

 “You’re the most Kolb person I’ve met in my life, and you’re past the age limit for an unHoused. How can you say that you don’t have a House?” 

 I couldn’t answer that question, so I merely stared in response, and eventually, Leski looked away. 

 “Will you send me home to my father?” she stiffly said. 

 When I lifted my feet onto my seat, I could barely see her over my knees. I stuck my hand into the back of the skycruiser, and Ace shuffled to where his head was laying beneath it, panting when I scratched his ears. While I did this, Leski relaxed, and only once she’d meet my eyes again did I speak. 

 “Do you want to go home?” 

 “No!” Leski shouted, sitting bolt upright. “I have to help, both you and my father-” 

 Sucking in a breath, she fell silent, but I just grinned at her. 

 “I knew you were eavesdropping. It’s ok,” I said. “How much did you overhear?” 

 “I heard that House Cerullis is planning something bad, and unsurprisingly, my father’s involved,” Leski said, crossing her arms. “I heard that I’m the reason he’s in trouble, and no matter what I think of him, I won’t let him suffer because of me.” 

 “Which is why I left the skycruiser open while grabbing provisions,” I said. 

 Like a spider, Leski skittered as far away from me as she could in our limited confines. 

 “You wanted me to come!” she shouted. 

 In the back, Ace lifted his head, but when I patted him, he settled again. 

 “No. In fact, I hoped that you wouldn’t,” I said, “but you deserved the opportunity to make the choice for yourself. Plus, you seem capable enough, if inexperienced. Mother Time knows how many times a complaining stomach got me in trouble when I first started with this. You should always eat something light before a mission.” 

 Leaning my head back, I closed my eyes while Leski digested what I’d said, stilling my hand to rest on Ace’s neck. 

 “I don’t understand,” she eventually said. “You’re letting me… choose?” 

 “Of course. Freedom of choice is highly undervalued in Lutov. I offer it when I can,” I said. “Now, if you’re coming with me, you’re to follow my lead at all times while we’re in the House Cerullis facility. If I tell you to stay behind me, you stick to my heels. If I tell you to run for escape and leave me, you do it without question. This is the only way I’ll bring you along, my choice. Understood?” 

 “Yes.” 

 “Then, wake me up when we land,” I said. 

 I still hadn’t figured out why my natural sleep rhythm had gotten so messed up the last time I’d fallen asleep, and I was a little concerned that it would happen again, but at some point, I’d have to rest. 

 I also wasn’t thrilled about making myself so vulnerable around a relative unknown, but if Leski tried to hurt me and my instincts failed to kick me into the waking world, I had Ace to guard me until I could do it for myself. 

 So, I turned myself off for a while. 

 Rather than a fist battering against a door, a gentle thump woke me up this time. We’d stopped moving with the rolling hills around us stretching into the mountains, and I turned to ask Leski why she hadn’t woken me up, as requested, only to click my tongue. 

 She was slumped between her seat and the door with a trickle of drool dripping out of her mouth. Not even capable of staying awake when asked to do so… 

 I should leave her here. Who knew what kind of vulnerabilities she’d bring to us both? Considering how much she was snoring right now, I could probably complete the mission and return here before she woke up but… 

 I hadn’t been any better at her stage of learning, and she needed this chance to help her family. Having backup, no matter how much of a rookie she was, would also be nice. 

 So, I carefully balanced a leftover popcorn kernel on Leski’s upturned cheek before letting Ace know that he could have it. Stretching into the front, he eagerly took his unexpected treat, licking its perch once it had disappeared. 

 Leski shouted, trying to scramble upright, but a dog was in the way. By the time she’d pushed Ace into the back again, I was doubled over with laughter. 

 “You think you’re so funny, don’t you?” she panted, scrubbing at her cheek. “Well, I’ll have you know that I do pranks too, and I’m damn good at them.” 

 Leaning on my leg, I cupped my chin. 

 “Bet you I’m better,” I said. 

 “You keep thinking that, asshole,” Leski growled while glancing outside. “We’re here. Shouldn’t we get going?” 

 She climbed out of the skycruiser in a huff, and grinning, I watched her shiver with her hands shoved under her arms. I liked pushing her buttons. 

 When I spun to my knees, Ace had already flopped onto the backseat again, and I bit my lip when he lifted his tired eyes to me. My loyal, old friend. Why had someone uprooted his life now, when he should be spending every day relaxing in his den with his pack? 

 “I’ll figure this out, buddy,” I said. “The first step is here, so I have to leave you for a bit, but the skycruiser’s set to fly you to Feena’s place if I’m not back in a few hours. She’ll take care of you.” 

 I didn’t know why I was telling him these things. Perhaps I needed to reassure myself or soothe a guilty conscience. What House Kolb member brought their dog with them on a mission? 

 Ruffling his fur, I joined Leski outside, making sure to crack a window for Ace. Since leaving her family’s estate, we’d gained altitude, and subsequently, the temperature had dropped, not to dangerous levels but definitely uncomfortable. I’d always enjoyed the cold and the sharpening of the senses that it temporarily brought, but judging from her unhappy expression, Leski did not. 

 “Come on. A little exercise will warm us up,” I said. 

 Passing her, I settled into a jog. We weren’t far from our destination, but walking wouldn’t get us there until morning, and I’d rather infiltrate the place at night. When the sun went down, people usually got more alert, but a lot less of them moved about, which was something we’d need. 

 Leski might look like a House Cerullis member, but I didn’t know if she could act like one. Meanwhile, I could become anyone I desired, but I didn’t look like the part I’d need to play. I’d changed after lunch, but even still, I looked too Kolb. 

 When the House Cerullis facility came into view with its shining lights illuminating the base of the mountain behind it, I slowed to a stop, glancing over our goal while addressing Leski. 

 “Do you have any fleshed-out personas?” 

 “Several,” she said, “but none that I’ve put into practice.” 

 “Show me,” I said. 

 Shrinking on herself, Leski started wringing her hands, of all things, while darting her gaze between me and the ground. 

 “If… um, if it pleases you,” she said in a shaking voice. “My name is, um, Rosae, Tenth Stratus of House Drav. How- how can I help you?” 

 Decent. A little over the top, but decent. 

 “How about a persona that would pair with a high Stratus?” I asked. “Have anyone like that?” 

 Leski stiffened, looking down her nose at me. 

 “Are you asking me to conform to your expectations?” she said with a sniff. “Don’t make me laugh.” 

 “Perfect!” I said, clapping. “What’s your name?” 

 Clicking her tongue, Leski said, “Wyla, if you must know. I won’t stoop to telling you my Stratus or House.” 

 “Because you neglected to give the persona one, or because you wanted to make it flexible?” I asked. 

 Leski relaxed, grinning at me. 

 “The second, obviously,” she said. 

 “Then tonight, Wyla is a Fourth Stratus of House Cerullis, accompanying… Tobis, Third Stratus, on a surprise inspection of this facility,” I said. “Go ahead and don your persona, and don’t drop it until you’re sure it’s safe to do so.” 

 Flushing, Leski nodded before going rigid again, but before she completely dove into Wyla, I laid a hand on her shoulder. 

 “One more thing, and this is important,” I said. “This mission will quite possibly be the most dangerous infiltration that I’ve ever done. Because of that, you should know that there’s a good chance you’ll die here. We’ll be surrounded by desperate people while facing an unidentified enemy that has unknown resources, none of which is conducive to success. 

 “If you do die and I somehow survive, I’ll hide what’s happened to you from your father until the threat to Lutov has passed because I’ll need his help. If he learns that you’re dead, he’ll be too wrapped up in grief to do that. 

 “Knowing this, are you sure you want to join me? I wouldn’t blame you if you’d rather wait with Ace.” 

 Paling, Leski considered what I’d said for a moment before swallowing. 

 “If I came with you, would it help?” she asked. 

 “Likely,” I said. 

 I wouldn’t give her anything besides the base truth, didn’t want to influence her when it came to this decision. 

 Taking a deep breath, Leski slowly let it out before meeting my eyes. 

 “Then, I’m coming,” she said. “I’m grateful for your honesty.” 

 I’d half-hoped that the possibility of death, a concept that the average citizen found so repellant, would make her second-guess herself, but it seemed to have done the opposite, and for that, I was half-glad. I’d need an accomplice to sell the story I meant to tell, and entering the facility any other way would be taxing and dangerous. I’d also probably end up hurting someone, which I’d rather not do. 

 With an obligatory warning given, I wouldn’t try to change Leski’s mind anymore. I’d do my best to protect her, and anything I couldn’t handle, I’d have to hope that she could escape on her own. 

 So, I told her, “When possible, honesty is always the best policy. Besides it usually being the moral course of action, telling fewer lies means fewer stories that you have to maintain.” 

 “Huh,” Leski said. “I’ve never thought about it that way, but you’re right.” 

 “Of course I am. I’m a Third Stratus researcher, remember?” I said. “Now, where’s Wyla? She and Tobis need to leave if they want to spring this inspection on their unsuspecting victims.” 

 Glancing at the facility, Leski grimaced. 

 “Must we walk all that way?” she said. 

 “The better to catch them unaware, my dear,” I said. “Shall we?” 

 I offered her my arm, and after she took it, we strolled over the last stretch of the moors left between us and our destination. 

 While approaching the facility, I examined it. It was ugly, nothing like the House’s more artful places of research, but we didn’t need this one to be pretty, merely functional. Who on earth would care about another splotch of distastefulness dropped on these awful marshes? 

 Even still, I wrinkled my nose as it loomed over me. It reminded me of the production facilities on the Eastern Reaches. Every time I’d had the misfortune of visiting that polluted portion of Lutov, I’d regretted it. The place was so dreary. 

 When a checkpoint came into view, the woman on my arm squeezed me, and I glanced at her. If she removed those unfortunate freckles covering her skin, my assistant might be pretty, and perhaps she was in the middle of doing that, finally, because her features had blurred. 

 She’d chosen a poor time to start the process, though. The difficulty of identifying her might make accessing the facility problematic, but oh well. My Stratus alone should be enough to get us through. 

 As I patted her hand, a man emerged from the checkpoint’s booth, lifting a palm to shine its projected light on us. 

 “Halt,” he called. “Identify yourselves.” 

 “Tobis, Third Stratus,” I called back, “and this is…” 

 “Wyla. Fourth Stratus,” my assistant said with her voice trembling. 

 Frowning, I glared at her. Why was she shaking? We were here on official business. She didn’t need to be afraid. 

 “Forgive my assistant,” I said. “She’s a skittish thing, and our flight here was rather bumpy.” 

 “Yeah, travel to this part of the Southern Fells is like that,” the guard said. “Your business?” 

 Flashing a smile, I said, “Inspection.” 

 And groaning, the guard lowered his hand. 

 “Another one?” he said. “I know things have gotten tense in the House lately, but are so many of these really necessary? Twice in one week seems excessive, even with what’s coming.” 

 “Do not speak of that,” I hissed. 

 Advancing, I got in the guard’s face, leaving Wyla behind. 

 “What if I was a spy from Zan or, Mother Time forbid, a Kolb operative? You’d have told them that we have something planned beyond our normal operations, and they wouldn’t have been pleased. Do you want to upset them?” 

 “N-no,” the guard stammered. 

 “Then, be grateful that I won’t report you,” I said, “but only if you let Wyla and me inside without a fuss.” 

 “O-of course.” 

 The guard stepped aside, and I held my arm out. Once Wyla had taken it again, we swept through the checkpoint and into the facility. 

 I paused once we were inside. It had been a while since my last visit here, so I was fuzzy about where everything was located. 

 “Where should we go first?” Wyla asked. 

 “The stacks. All relevant data will be stored there,” I said, “and if someone’s already done an inspection within the last week, we shouldn’t have to trawl through too much information. Hopefully. I hate the stacks. It’s quiet there, even with its storecases’ ticking and whirring.” 

 “Then, we should get this over with,” Wyla said. “Let’s find a lift. Most places keep their stacks underground, right?” 

 Gracing her with a smile, I said, “I knew I kept you around for a reason.” 

 Now, if only I could remember where the lifts were. We wandered through the facility in concentric circles, searching for one, and only the occasional Cerullis member hurried through the corridors that we walked down. It was the dead of night, so I didn’t find their low numbers surprising, but the anxiety that I saw in everyone else was unexpected. Had something gone wrong? 

 Most of the facility’s labs were abandoned with their doors flung open to show off their test tubes and glowing monitors. Several dozen copies of this same scene made a long line down every hallway, so when their doorways hiccupped for a significant span up ahead, I quickened my step. Maybe we’d found what we sought. 

 When we reached that smooth wall, however, I slowed down until I’d stopped in front of the rectangular window embedded in it. 

 Beyond it was a hangar with all sorts of aircraft sitting on the landing pads that it contained. People scrambled around these vehicles, loading weapons into them. 

 Weapons that nearly filled the rest of the hangar’s empty space. Bins upon bins of rifles, pistols, and grenades. Bombs, from the purely explosive variety to ones that were much worse. Poison cannisters as tall as a shuttle. No Dissolvers or comparable weapons that I could see, though. 

 Still. That was a lot of firepower. More than I’d known we had. 

 “Tobis,” Wyla said. “The stacks?” 

 Shaking my head, I squeezed her hand. 

 “Thank you, my dear,” I said. “Seeing so much potential for devastation leaves me dumbstruck.” 

 “Which is understandable, but we can’t stand here, gawking. We have work to do,” Wyla said. “So, let’s do it.” 

 As we resumed our search, the cache behind us worried at my mind. I knew we needed it, but why? What did they expect us to do with it? These questions occupied me so thoroughly that I almost ran into someone when rounding a corner. Only my quick reflexes saved Wyla and me from a bad fall. 

 “My apolo-” 

 A black-clothed man with gray eyes and black hair stared at me with something unreadable running over his face. Holy shit, I’d almost run into the- 

 Wait. What was he doing here? 

 TTS Chapter Fifty-Two

Chapter 53: Let's Mess This Shit Up
Bowing, I stuttered, “L-lokke Vi-vitras.” 

 Korix, something deep inside whispered with relief. 

 Seizing my arm, he pulled me out of my bow before dragging Wyla and me after him. He pushed us into the closest lab, locking the door once it had slid closed, and shoved me deeper into the room. 

 “Find a corner,” he said. “Stay there.” 

 While I scrambled to do as he’d commanded, the Lokke Vitras rounded on Wyla. 

 “Name and House,” he said. 

 Wyla didn’t seem to be listening, though, with fascination lighting her eyes. Funny how I could read the emotions on her face, even with it so thoroughly blurred. 

 “You…” she said, tapping her lips. “The way you’re holding yourself is… familiar. Why do I-?” 

 The Lokke Vitras stepped into her personal space, towering over her. 

 “Your name and House,” he said, “if you please.” 

 Blinking up at him, Wyla shifted in place, shucking the distracted air that she’d assumed. Her body stiffened with her shoulders rising for her ears while her hands trembled in fists at her sides. 

 “I’m unHoused,” she said with her voice clipped, “and unless you find it necessary, I’d rather not provide a name at this time.” 

 UnHoused? What on earth was she talking about and…? Had she just refused the Lokke Vitras? 

 “I don’t require it, so you may have your privacy,” he said. “Why are you here?” 

 With a slow breath in and out, Wyla bled tension from her frame before glancing at me. 

 “Helping him, among other reasons,” she said. 

 Piercing, gray eyes landed on me, and I shriveled in my corner. 

 “I see,” the Lokke Vitras said. 

 He returned his gaze to Wyla, letting me breathe again. 

 “Can you get out of here by yourself?” he asked. “He has me to help him now, and I need you to carry a message for me.” 

 Shrugging, Wyla said, “Shouldn’t be too hard, considering how easy it was to get inside. What’s the message?” 

 “Tell shukusen Talira that my mission is almost complete. She should send as many high Strata as she can spare to clean up,” the Lokke Vitras said. “Here’s her array’s access information.” 

 He waved toward Wyla, and after a pause where she ran her eyes up and down his body almost… appreciatively, she nodded. How was she so nonchalant about the legendary Lokke Vitras giving her the means to contact a head of House? This wasn’t the Wyla I knew. 

 How did I know her again? 

 “Anything else I can do?” she asked. 

 Shaking his head, the Lokke Vitras said, “He and I will take care of the rest. Run along now.” 

 Assuming the bearing of a soldier from Ibis, Wyla touched her fingers to her forehead in a salute. 

 “Yes, sir.” 

 As she trotted to the door, the Lokke Vitras unlocked it for her, absently staring through it once it had closed. 

 “I like her,” he said. “I hope you haven’t gotten her killed.” 

 How was I supposed to respond to that? I was confused as hell, unsure why he’d taken such an interest in me and my assistant. What did he want from me? 

 Looking over his shoulder, he raised an eyebrow. 

 “An unHoused? Really?” 

 Did he mean Wyla? 

 “I- I don’t know what you mean,” I said. “As far as I’m aware, she’s Fourth Stratus.” 

 “Oh, for Mother Time’s sake.” 

 Facing me, the Lokke Vitras crossed his arms. 

 “I’ve isolated us from the recorders near this lab,” he said. “You can drop the persona, kuvesk.” 

 And I surfaced, taking a deep breath. Shaking Tobis off. Devouring Korix with my eyes. 

 He was ok. Oh, thank all that might be holy, he was fine. 

 Right? 

 “Why are you here and out of persona no less? Someone will recognize you. Eventually,” I said. “Have you come from another facility? How did you arrive on the same night as me?” 

 With a soft laugh, Korix said, “Straight to it, then? No hello? No answer to my question?” 

 “Sorry,” I said. “Sorry, I-” 

 Stepping forward, I clasped his shoulders, the most physical contact I could allow myself right now. If I did anything more, I might unleash the grateful tears that I was withholding. 

 “The last few days have been difficult,” I said. “I’ve been worried. You?” 

 “The same,” Korix said. “How’s Ace handling everything?” 

 “The best he can. He’s safe,” I said. “As for the unHoused young woman, she chose to come with me. I didn’t encourage her to join my team, although I did facilitate. I wasn’t going to stop her from living her life as she wanted, even if that meant that she stepped into danger.” 

 Sighing, Korix said, “That is so very you.” 

 I waited for him to answer my questions, but he collected my hands from his shoulders, holding them between us while brushing his thumbs over the backs of them. 

 “Why are you here?” he asked. 

 Getting asked the same question that I’d just spoken without him answering me first was rather annoying, but he was evushk, and I was kuvesk. I bowed to his wisdom in all things, including how he ordered our questioning. 

 So, I told him everything I’d learned and what I’d concluded from it, and once I’d finished, he was quiet, gazing into nothing while he thought. 

 “That matches my findings,” he eventually said. 

 “So, you’re here to cause a disruption too?” I asked. 

 With a small smirk, Korix said, “What do you think? Care to come with me?” 

 Work with my partner to punish the people who’d destroyed our home? 

 “Yes, please,” I growled. 

 “Then, let’s go.” 

 Korix led me through House Cerullis’ facility with no hesitation in his step, which didn’t surprise me. I had no doubt he’d taken the time to learn this place’s innards before coming here, if he hadn’t already known its layout. 

 When it came to looping the recorders’ feeds, thereby keeping us invisible from our enemy, he and I traded off like we’d always done on missions together, something we’d practiced so many times that it had become as instinctive as breathing. 

 I was a little concerned by the lack of House Cerullis members in the halls, but while we’d been exploring earlier, Leski and Tobis had encountered few of them too. Korix was probably using his array’s indications of body heat to avoid the small number of them who were still awake. With him in the lead, I didn’t bother to do the same. 

 As we moved along, however, Korix himself began to worry me. His shoulders were drawn together with far too much tension there, and when we turned onto a new hallway, I caught his throat working like he was trying to say something. After I’d seen these signs of an imminent collapse, it didn’t matter that we were on a mission. I grabbed his wrist, pulling him to the side. 

 “Are you ok?” I asked. “You look like you might fall apart at any moment.” 

 A war was taking place behind those gray eyes with the past quickly coming to claim its owner, and after checking that no recorders were watching us, I twisted my hand into his and squeezed it. 

 “It’s ok if you’re not,” I said. “I can carry us this time.” 

 Sucking in a breath, Korix said, “I-” 

 He went absent for a moment, making my heart seize in my chest, before relaxing. 

 “I’m fine for the moment,” he said, returning my squeeze. “Let’s get this over with so we can have one of our talks. We haven’t had a chance to do that yet, right?” 

 “Right,” I sighed. “Sorry.” 

 We’d delayed doing that for far too long. 

 “It’s ok. You needed to know how much you can rely on me. It’s understandable that you’d check on my mental state,” Korix said. “I promise. I’ll be fine until the end of this. Besides, after a few more turns, we’ll be where we need to be.” 

 “And what’s the plan when we arrive?” I asked. “Are we destroying weapons? Eliminating personnel?” 

 I’d hate to learn that Cerullis had more firepower than the stockpile in the hangar at our backs, but it wasn’t like I could do anything about that. 

 “Something like that,” Korix said with a half-smile. 

 He wanted to be mysterious, did he? I could live in suspense. It wasn’t like I’d stay there for long. 

 True to his word, Korix stopped us outside of a wide door, probably guarding a room that Cerullis was using for storage. 

 “Sneak in, initial recon, and we’ll go from there,” he said. “No rifles unless we must. We don’t want their formation alerting the facility to us.” 

 “They have the room alarmed for that?” I asked. 

 Running across a place with security measures like that was uncommon, and nine times out of ten, it meant something shady was happening inside. 

 “Unfortunately,” Korix said. 

 “Damn,” I muttered. 

 Canceling my request, I nodded to him. 

 “When you’re ready.” 

 Korix touched the panel beside the door, and it began pulling apart. Once the gap between the top and bottom halves was large enough, I stepped through them, scanning for cover. If someone was in here, we’d need concealment quickly. The room’s occupants would probably soon come to investigate. 

 But in the cavernous chamber beyond, there was nothing, just a lot of empty space. Had someone moved what they’d kept stored in here? 

 Cautiously, I advanced into the room, and Korix swept ahead of me with a worried look on his face. He hadn’t expected this? 

 Wait. Was this a-? 

 “Hello, Zaeden. We’ve been waiting for you.” 

 Fuck. It was a trap, but that was ok. I’d been trained for this. 

 Slowly turning, I kept my hands in a neutral position, clearly visible but also near my weapons. In the doorway, a handful of armed House Cerullis members were watching me, one of whom was staring my way with black eyes in blue-tinged sockets. Alezand. 

 I waited for Korix to say something, but when nothing came from him, I stepped into the silence. 

 “Alezand, what are you doing?” I said. “I saw your people loading several aircraft with all manner of weapons. Who’s it meant for? House Kolb?” 

 Why was Korix letting me take the speaking role? Sure, I needed more practice with negotiations, but now was a supremely bad time for it. Horrible threat lurking and all, right? 

 “Shouldn’t you be more concerned about yourself than a House you don’t claim?” Alezand asked. 

 He wasn’t worried. Why was that? Even having surprised me and Korix, he should be terrified. Not many enemies walked away from an encounter with us. 

 “You don’t scare me,” I said. “I can take you, especially given who my backup is.” 

 I jerked my head in Korix’s general direction, but rather than showing fear at the reminder of the Lokke Vitras’ presence, as I’d expected, Alezand slumped, shaking his head. 

 “He was right,” he said. “You do unconditionally trust him.” 

 What? What? 

 Alezand was showing me pity and- 

 Oh… fuck. I- I couldn’t breathe, certain I’d entered a vacuum, even with my array insisting that I had oxygen all around me. This growing suspicion couldn’t be right. It couldn’t. Evushk … he- he was my… 

 Please, say I was wrong. Please. I couldn’t do this again. 

 With his face twisting, Alezand said, “You’re alone, Zaeden.” 

 In a blink, a knife was in my hand, and House Kolb speed turned the Cerullis members by the door into statues as I whirled. I drove my weapon’s point toward Korix, hoping only to maim him, but he snatched my wrist while pressing cold metal into my jaw, tilting my head back. 

 “I always knew love would get you killed,” he said. 

 Thin lines of steel rolled from under his sleeve to encase the hand around my wrist, and as any good operative would, Korix squeezed my wrist, breaking its bones, to disarm me. 

 Even knowing it for the defiance that it was, I fought to retain my weapon, but without something to support the blade, my effort was useless. My knife fell to the floor with each of its clatters a thunderclap of diminishing volume, and when the noise stopped, all was still. 

 TTS Chapter Fifty-Three

Chapter 54: Why?
How I managed to stay on my feet was beyond me. I didn’t have adrenaline to help me ignore the pain in my wrist, and without it, I usually couldn’t take something like this without stumbling, only deadening my nerve endings after my initial reaction. 

 I didn’t indulge in that relief now. The shrieking of my wrist was battling the angry snarl that had snagged its thorny branches throughout my body. 

 “What the fuck, evushk?” I growled. 

 With his rifle’s muzzle painfully digging into my jaw, talking was difficult, but I did it anyway because I had to know. 

 “Why?” 

 Rather than answer me, Korix looked over my head. 

 “I told you he’d come here, just like I told you he’d get through your security measures without you knowing about it,” he said. “If you’d left well enough alone, he would never have suspected us.” 

 “As I’ve already said, I glassed your home because they demanded it,” Alezand said. 

 “That’s not why you did it, and you know it,” Korix said. “You’ve never been sure of my loyalty. This is just another example of that distrust.” 

 He shook his head with a huff. 

 “I suppose that doesn’t matter. In the end, your little maneuver has worked in our favor. All significant threats have been cleared from the board.” 

 “And we shall proceed as instructed, Favored,” Alezand said. 

 Korix was their Favored? Oh, Mother Time, no wonder Niklaus had seemed both terrified and amused when I’d asked about his identity. 

 “What will you do with him?” Alezand continued, nodding my way. 

 Korix flicked his eyes toward me, and they were so cold, filled with the clinical detachment that he only directed at his targets. 

 “I have plans for him,” he said. “For now, we’ll give him the same hospitality that you gave me years ago. Is my cell still available?” 

 “Yes.” 

 “Then, we take him there,” Korix said. 

 Meeting my eyes, he tightened his hold on me, and my vision flashed white. 

 “Do anything that I don’t like, and I will end you,” he said. 

 And I believed him. Mother Time, he’d kill me if it suited him. 

 Almost, a ragged sob shuddered through me, but I stopped it. Suspended emotions. Went blank. This shock and anger and fear and grief? They weren’t helping me. I needed to figure out how to escape from this mess. I needed to alert Talira about what had happened. I needed to know why fervently loyal Korix would betray Lutov like this. Because that… 

 That wasn’t him. 

 Oh, hell. 

 “Disarm,” Korix ordered. “Slowly, starting with what you can reach.” 

 While sudden giddiness and overwhelming despair eddied and flowed in me, I removed knives, pistols, and other weapons from my body, throwing them away from me. I started having trouble at my hips, and releasing me, Korix took a step back. 

 I watched him as I finished. Was I right? Please, let my suspicions be right. It was certainly backed by enough precedence. 

 Considering everything it would entail, though, did I want to be right? 

 Once I was done, I rose to my full height, spreading my arms, while waiting for my next instruction. 

 “Alezand, you can return to your post,” Korix said. “As for the peons you brought with you, one can collect Zaeden’s weapons while another will lead the way to the cells. The rest are dismissed. You—” 

 He poked my chest with his rifle. 

 “—turn around and start walking.” 

 Striding in the wake of a House Cerullis member, I made a map of our route from the warehouse in my head. I couldn’t send Talira a message yet, as they’d surely detect it, but if I could escape from the cell Cerullis had specially prepared for Korix— 

 Ha! 

 —I’d have the beginnings of a way out of here. Once I was under an open sky, I could contact my grandmother. 

 Hell, she’d never let me hear the end of this, if we survived it. I couldn’t believe I’d fallen into such an obvious trap, but I’d trusted Korix, even when he’d shown signs that something was wrong. Even when he’d been walking around this place without a persona to disguise himself or a care in the world. Even when he’d sent my ally away. 

 Oh, fuck. Leski! Had she made it out of here, or had Korix sent that wonderful woman into a trap as well? 

 I hoped she was safe. I hoped she’d sent Korix’s message to Talira, even if that had definitely been a ploy to draw more of Kolb’s strength into a slaughter. If she hadn’t escaped… if she was dead, I didn’t think I could forgive Korix, even if I was right about what was happening with him. 

 Speaking of which, I should test my theory. 

 “Am I allowed to speak?” I asked. 

 “Why wouldn’t you be?” Korix said. 

 He’d sounded distracted. I’d never actually believe that of him, but what could be pulling enough of his attention away from his circumstances for him to come off as vulnerable? 

 “Will you answer a few questions?” I asked. “I’m curious about what’s subverted the Lokke Vitras’ loyalty, and if I understood what caused something so unthinkable, I might be more open to switching sides myself.” 

 Our guide stopped, nodding to the door beside her, but before I could probe the security processes surrounding the cell, Korix spun me to face him. 

 “What do you want to know?” he asked. 

 Taking a deep breath, I said, “What’s this about? I understand that some of it has to do with upholding the Founder’s part of a pact, but why? What did they do during the war with those from beyond the stars to make you—of all people—believe that we owe them?” 

 Korix’s smile was sharp. 

 “Besides saving us, you mean?” he said. “That was enough for me. If you want more detail, you’ll have to pick through Lutov’s records of the pre-Founding nations, although good luck with finding those anywhere but in The Library. I didn’t think doing that was worth the effort.” 

 Again, not like Korix. I’d never known a man more heavily invested in researching every aspect of an important choice before making it. 

 “Fair enough. Frankly, they had my sympathy after I learned that we owe them,” I said. “You know how much I hate the idea of being in someone’s debt.” 

 With a soft laugh, Korix said, “That, I do.” 

 “So with that said, I’m curious about what they want from us,” I said. “If they were advanced enough to resist those from beyond the stars, what could we possibly offer them?” 

 While he considered how to answer, I studied the House Cerullis member. She was shifting far too much, darting her fearful gaze too often at Korix. Distracted. I could use that, if given the chance. 

 “They want a home,” Korix whispered. “Children.” 

 “Then, why don’t they ask for that?” I said. “Despite our general feeling of overcrowding, we do have plenty of room in Lutov, room that the high Strata would happily surrender to satisfy a debt, and House Drav can help with kids.” 

 A spasm crossed Korix’s face. 

 “It’s not that simple,” he said. 

 “It rarely is. That’s why we negotiate, working together to help each other,” I said, “but I know that sometimes, that isn’t enough.” 

 “Yes,” Korix whispered. 

 He still looked distracted. In fact, I didn’t know how it was possible, but right now, he looked even more distracted than before, like he was fighting off something internally.  

 That was good. If he was as unfocused as he appeared, maybe I’d get an honest answer out of him for this next question, which I needed. It would determine exactly how devastated I might be in the next few days. 

 “So, they have a compelling reason for their course of action and a desperate need behind it as well. I can see why you joined them,” I said. “Question is, when they took you, was it before you’d have come to this decision on your own?” 

 Korix’s eyebrows leapt for his hairline before he raised a hand to cover his body-shaking laughter, which was disconcerting to view. His displays of emotion had almost always been minimal, so this explosion of it? It sent a shiver through me. 

 “You think they’re controlling me? No. I am the master of myself,” he gasped. “You taught me this, kuvesk. Every time you’ve spoken about freedom or making choices for oneself was another budding blossom in who I am today. My decision to join their cause, coming so soon after the fallout of the Crescent Incident, is because of you. Now, move.” 

 He backed me into the door, and while he fiddled with it, I saw my theory for the denial that it had been. I didn’t want to admit that Korix was gone, that another man I… loved had betrayed me. 

 So, I clung to hope, even knowing it was futile. 

 “Sacrifice self. House before family. Lutov over all,” I said. “Would you abandon a mantra that you’ve followed for your whole life?” 

 Shuddering, Korix leaned on the door frame so that his face was centimeters from mine. 

 “They’re pretty words,” he hissed through gritted teeth, “nothing more.” 

 The door slid along my back, and Korix shoved me inside, although I didn’t stumble far. 

 I couldn’t let him leave. If he went like this, then I’d know I’d lost him. I’d know that nothing we’d had was real. All that time when we’d been learning how to open up to one another, he’d been plotting this, the destruction of our home and everything that he’d taught me, and I couldn’t have that. I couldn’t! 

 I COULDN’T. 

 Not again. 

 I caught the door as it was closing, sending acid pouring from my broken wrist and down my arm. 

 “Please, Ko,” I said with my voice shaking. “Don’t do this. I- I need you.” 

 Again, Korix shuddered. Those vibrations flew through him so violently that he fell into me, and I struggled to support his weight, off-balanced as I’d been beforehand. He’d never hung from me like this before, like dead weight. 

 When he rallied, shooting his head up from my chest, his features had blurred, as if in the middle of a body shift, with a fine layer of mist or steam seeping out of his skin. He seized my shoulders, digging his fingernails into cloth and flesh, and his voice emerged strangled. 

 “You… have… to… stop… me.” 

 And I faced a potent depiction of pain, one I’d never wanted to see again. The examples I’d seen in Tatum and Fyester, so many years ago, had been enough for a lifetime. My overwhelmed mind hiccupped air into my lungs, and my hands trembled as I confronted the possibility of holding another husk of a person I’d loved. 

 Then, it stopped. And Korix straightened. And he laughed. 

 “Or at least, I look forward to watching you try,” he said, wiping his eyes. 

 Stepping outside, he had the door slam shut, and its locks engaged. I was left barely standing, taking tiny sips of air. 

 What had that been? What had it-? What-? 

 No. 

 Slapping my face, I shook myself. Now that I could do nothing for him, I couldn’t think about Korix. I needed to escape. 

 So, I examined the tools that I had to work with, which was… nothing. I was in an empty cube of a room, six metal surfaces welded together. It wasn’t claustrophobically small, a few meters in width and length all told, but besides floating, useless light globes, nothing was in here. 

 When I tried the door, I scrabbled my fingers along its smooth surface, gaining no purchase. Even an open palm failed to make it budge, not that I’d expected anything else. 

 Maybe I could melt my way out. Requesting my rifle, I waited for a beat before realizing that it wasn’t forming. With a frown, I checked my array before stumbling into a wall, leaning on it to keep myself on watery legs. 

 I hadn’t lost the ability to modify my body, and its augmented healing rate remained in place, as evidenced by the steady repair of my wrist, but using any other function in my array gave me errors. When I reached out for nearby recorders, I got no results. When I tried to send a message, it just bounced back to me. 

 They’d found a way to isolate arrays. 

 For a while, I picked at this notion because the concept of it floored me. Lutov had relied on arrays for so long that no one had attempted to subvert or sabotage them in… 

 Hell, I couldn’t look up how long it had been. 

 A long time. 

 We had the Puppeteer, of course, but its architect had—from what I could remember—been one of the few people in Lutovish history to face execution. Not only had their death occurred soon after the Puppeteer’s creation, but for centuries, access to those intimidating pieces of tech had been heavily regulated, to the point that possessing one was enough to get its owner exiled without a trial. 

 All of this was to say that isolating arrays, as they’d done, was something my people would never consider possible. The faintest breath of the idea would never cross our minds. 

 I didn’t know what to do. It had been years since a plan had refused to come to me. The last time had happened after Fyester had attacked me, and just like then, I genuinely had no clue about how I should proceed. Maybe I’d think of something while I considered the problem further, but I doubted it. 

 Which meant I was stuck here. 

 Was this what had happened to Korix? Had he waited in this cell, perhaps hoping to overpower his captors when they came to feed him? 

 Was he even under their thumb, like I’d thought? Our last exchange had seemed like a clear indication of it, but he might have faked his distress to muddle me, getting me focused on him instead of my problems. Like I was doing now. 

 If they’d imprisoned Korix here, I didn’t have the luxury of waiting it out like he probably had. I’d seen the weapons and aircraft in that hangar. Whatever Cerullis’ plan was, it would start soon, and considering the type of weapons they had, it would be devastating. Korix and this House would be implicated in crimes against Lutov, and if the homeland survived their attack, I’d be sent to hunt them down. I’d have to kill another loved one because I was stuck in a fucking box. 

 Over the next few minutes, I might have thrown a temper tantrum. If I did, I didn’t remember it. 

 The next thing I knew, I was panting in the middle of the cell with a raw throat and bloody knuckles. From what I could tell, a furious tumult, the one that had wiped thought away from me, was still rumbling inside, so I wasn’t sure why I was aware. 

 Then, I noticed a new message in my array. 

 I didn’t know how long I just stared at it. Maybe a quarter-hour had passed since I’d tentatively accepted that my array couldn’t reach the outside world and something new had come in? Mother Time must favor me, although that probably depended on what the message said. 

 Opening it, I read its contents and sank to the floor, folding my arms around my waist as I bent double. I was laughing and crying at the same time, unable to control myself, and my tears blurred the message, even if its words were still circling in my head. 

 Hang on. Help’s on the way. 

 The message didn’t say who’d sent it, so I had no clue who was coming to my aid, but frankly? I didn’t care. 

 I was the Lokke Vitras to come, and somehow, I’d gotten myself in such a fucked-up situation that a stranger would have to rescue me. The idea had me so forcefully rocking with laughter that I toppled into a sprawl across the floor. 

 But mostly, blissful relief burned my eyes. I’d get out of here, saved by one, and go forth to save all of Lutov. 

 Staring at a metal ceiling, I let myself simply breathe with no thought allowed in my head. I could make plans in a moment, but for now, all I wanted was to exist and enjoy this rare sense that everything was right in the world. 

 Everything was going to be ok. 

 TTS Chapter Fifty-Four

Addendum
Betrayal, as you know, is one of the worst ordeals that someone can experience. So many emotions are mixed up with it, anger and hurt being the top contenders, but the worst of them is when the one who was betrayed is left wondering what made the other person turn against them. 

 Living in doubt of someone’s loyalty is worse. It’s a constant tug-of-war between hurt and hope, and it’s… frightening. 

 After what happened with Korix, I never fully trusted someone again. I would think I’d reached that state, but then, someone’s trustworthiness would be called into question, and my first reaction was to retreat, hoping to protect myself. 

 Even with you, even knowing that the future dictates we’ll remain faithful to one another until the end, I can’t help but prepare for the day you’ll turn on me, like you once thought I’d done to you. 

 In the end, this suspicion made me a better Lokke Vitras. It made me the person that you and your family needed, both when I only protected the five of you and when you invited me into your ranks. 

 If… you feel up to it, I’d like it if you shared this account with your friends. I don’t know if they’re hurting because of my loss. We grew close over this last year, but I could never be sure whether what we shared was genuine or born out of accommodation to you. 

 Doubt of everyone, remember? Destroyer of inner peace. 

 I, for one, am fond of them, more than is healthy, actually. They’ve been lights of love and acceptance in what was both the best and worst two years of my life. I would die for them, and funnily enough, that’s what will happen, if in the most remote of ways. 

 So, I’d like for them to know me too. I’d like them to see that I wasn’t always the barely contained mess that I am today. 

 Now. Before we continue. 

 Take a break, love. If you’re acting at all like the man I’ve come to know, you’ve obsessively listened to what I’ve recorded, probably curled up in your lab somewhere. I know you want to dive back in. I’ve left you on such a cliffhanger, after all! 

 But put the audio recorder down. Eat. Go outside. Say hello to your family and friends. Live your life. 

 And then, return. I’ll always be waiting in these recorded words, for as many times as you want to hear them. 

 TTS Addendum

Chapter 55: Rescue From an Unexpected Quarter
What was taking so long? 

 This question echoed in me as I circled the confines of my cell with my hands plastered to my forehead. 

 I kept thinking to myself, Everything’s fine. It’ll all be fine. 

 Repeating those assertions wasn’t drowning out the echo, though, and I swore to Mother Time, I was going to- 

 Where the hell was that sense of peace I’d had not long ago? 

 A couple of hours had passed since I’d received a message of hope, and I was still waiting in this cell. If I made another pacing pass around it, I was sure I’d scream. 

 What had happened? Had the person who’d sent the message gotten caught? At the thought of rescue being ripped away from me, I flinched, but I knew it was a possibility. 

 And who could have sent it in the first place? A deep-cover operative seemed most likely, but knowing Korix, he’d have rooted all House Kolb members out of this facility by now. 

 Mother Time, Korix… 

 No. I couldn’t let my mind drift that way because if I did, I’d get stuck on a looping track of conviction followed by doubt. Was someone I had yet to identify controlling him? Or had he betrayed Lutov and me in truth? 

 Shaking my head, I forced my thoughts away from these questions. I couldn’t answer them, not yet. Better to focus on the ones that were causing me much less stress. 

 Like my message sender’s identity. 

 If a House Kolb member hadn’t sent me hope, maybe it had been someone in Cerullis, someone who was unhappy with the direction that Alezand was leading them in. This explanation seemed much more likely since Korix probably wouldn’t have identified them, not as easily at least. 

 It would also explain why my rescue was taking so long. If my message sender was from House Cerullis, I had no doubt that someone would catch them, long before they reached this place. 

 All this speculation told me was that I must once more rely only on myself, which left me with the conundrum of how I’d get out of this impenetrable cell, the one I’d already spent hours trying to escape from. 

 Hell. I’d be stuck here like I’d thought, helpless to stop the horrific violence that was soon to come. I wouldn’t have a chance to stop Korix from getting further involved in something that would get him killed, crushing my hopes for saving him before they’d taken a step toward realization. 

 Freezing in place, I dropped to my haunches with my arms thrown over my head. Damnit, what was I going to do? I couldn’t lose him. What would I do? 

 Something scraped outside the cell’s door, and in my startlement, instinct took over. I hurried to the wall beside the opening. 

 Maybe this commotion had originated in my potential rescuer, but it could equally be a House Cerullis member who’d come to feed me, providing an opportunity for escape. I’d be ready either way. 

 The door slid open, and pressing as far into the wall as I could, I waited for someone to step through it. 

 “Zaeden?” 

 That whispering voice. I knew it. 

 Spinning around the doorframe, I grabbed Leski’s shoulders— 

 “What are you doing here?” 

 —before pulling her to my chest. 

 After initially stiffening, Leski relaxed against me, returning my embrace, and I let myself bask in the fact that she was alive. After learning how deeply Korix had betrayed me, I hadn’t been sure if she’d escaped this facility, and until this moment, I hadn’t realized how much her safety had been weighing on me. If she’d died while helping me, I… I wouldn’t have been able to live with myself. 

 But here she was, alive and well. How? 

 Giddiness infected the emotionless state that I must maintain during missions, and thrusting her away from me, I ran my eyes over her. 

 “Why aren’t you far from here?” I asked. 

 Rolling her eyes, Leski said, “What? No ‘Thank you for saving me from an obvious trap. How great is your wisdom’ for me?” 

 She’d seen the trap before me. Her. An unHoused. Shit. How badly had I slipped up with this mission? 

 “Thank you, Leski,” I said. “Why are you here? You should be in a skycruiser, heading away from this place.” 

 “Yeah, I know,” Leski said, blowing hair out of her eyes. “I overwrote your processes on the skycruiser. Don’t worry! Ace will still reach those coordinates you set earlier. I just delayed your timer to give us some breathing room.” 

 Good to know. My dog’s safety had been buzzing about my brain at a slightly lower frequency than all my other worries, one more thing doing its damnedest to drag me into panic. But if she’d overwritten my processes… 

 “How good are you at process cracking?” I asked. 

 With a laugh, Leski waved a hand over our surroundings. 

 “Good enough to watch everything that happened to you. Also, I got a message into this place, which was more difficult than I expected.” 

 “The message was from you?” I squeaked. 

 Of course it had been. Why else would she be here? 

 Also, much as it made me cringe, I was glad she’d been watching me since we’d parted ways. It meant I wouldn’t have to catch her up on our situation. 

 “Duh,” Leski said in answer to my question. “Now, can we please get out of this hostile place, or must we continue standing here while I answer more inane questions?” 

 I was a little… no. I was a lot stunned by her right now. Did she know how impenetrable this cell was? I might have always been abysmal with anything process-related, but I doubted even Korix could have gotten a message out of this cell. 

 Korix. 

 “You’re more than welcome to get out of here if you like. I encourage it even,” I said, “but I have more work to do here before I can leave.” 

 “Like what?” Leski said. “From what I saw, we have everything we need to stop this… whatever it is. What else could you possibly need to do?” 

 Save someone I cared for more than all the lives in Lutov? I couldn’t tell her that, though. 

 “We know that Cerullis has something planned for the homeland, but what is it? When will they start their scheme? Where will it begin?” I said. “I’d like to have answers for those questions before making my report, assuming you’ve already alerted shukusen Talira to our situation, of course.” 

 Once she knew what was happening here, my grandmother would know exactly what I needed. If I looked for more information on Cerullis’ machinations while waiting for reinforcements, it should get me closer to Korix, and as long as my escape from this cell remained undetected, keeping Leski safe should be easy enough, which would have been my only concern about staying. 

 This was all assuming that we could avoid my evushk, of course. If we ran into him unprepared, we were both fucked. 

 Huffing, Leski said, “Yes, I sent a request for help. I’m not an idiot. How do you propose we answer your questions, though? I won’t hurt anyone, Zaeden.” 

 “Who said anything about hurting people?” I asked, genuinely puzzled. 

 Did she think violence would be my first answer to the problem we were facing here? That assumption was the most prevalent one in Lutov, but even still. I’d thought she knew me better than that. 

 “I suggest that we access this facility’s stacks,” I said, “like we were planning to do before the Lokke Vitras interrupted us.” 

 Leski blanched. 

 “So, it was really him? I wasn’t sure. That man’s presence here seemed so… unbelievable. I thought I might have been seeing things,” she said. “Hell. He’s turned against us?” 

 I couldn’t allow myself the panic she was displaying, couldn’t contemplate how I’d soon be opposing the enormous skill of my evushk. 

 “It doesn’t matter,” I said. “So long as my grandmother knows we need help, we should gather as much information as we can while we wait. Save our backup the trouble. Yes?” 

 “I suppose,” Leski reluctantly conceded. 

 “Excellent,” I said. “Then, if you don’t mind, I’d like out of this cell.” 

 Jumping, Leski stepped to the side, and I stalked into partial freedom, shivering on obtaining it. 

 “Stay behind me and as close as you can,” I said. 

 Uninhibited by a persona, finding a lift with access to the facility’s sub-levels didn’t take me long. We entered the stacks where the comforting whir of storecases surrounded us, and I headed for the closest station. 

 I didn’t need the connectors provided here. My Lokke Vitras privileges could give me access to this place’s data without them, but I didn’t want to seem out of the ordinary to Leski. Plus, a physical connection to the station would allow faster transfer of data. 

 After attaching pads to either side of my neck, I was inundated by the wealth of knowledge kept in this facility. Having read what privileges I held, this station and its storecases failed to hold anything back, and gaining so much information at once made my brain and array stutter. Fortunately, I had enough discipline to keep from groaning at the flood, gritting my teeth instead. 

 “This’ll take a while,” I said. “Can you get us more appropriate outfits while I’m working? There should be a changing room somewhere near here.” 

 “Sure,” Leski said. 

 As she departed, leaving me alone, I combed through my provided data with a small part of my attention ever paid to the feeds of the recorders around me. Doing that should give me a few seconds notice before someone barged into the stacks. 

 I monitored Leski’s progress as well, and as I watched, I was once more impressed. To this point, she’d shown an aptitude for House Kolb work, but seeing her cautiously slinking through enemy territory solidified her potential for me. If I could, I should cultivate this resource for my own use. 

 As soon as that thought had crossed my mind, I made a face. I wouldn’t judge someone’s value based solely on the skills that House Kolb treasured, and I most certainly shouldn’t be interested in… collecting someone, like a piece of art. 

 Shuddering, I set consideration of Leski aside for the moment, focusing on my newly gained data. I picked anything that might be useful from it, but separating the valuable from the mundane was difficult with so much information assaulting me. 

 After I’d made my selections, I started integrating them with my array, a process that would take a few minutes to finish. While it did that, I scanned the facility through its various recorders, hoping to find Korix or anything else that might help Leski and me. 

 So, I saw a House Cerullis member arrive at the cell that I’d recently occupied. I saw her enter it and recoil from its emptiness. I saw her send what must have been an alert after stepping back outside. 

 And I most definitely heard the alarms when they began blaring. 

 With integration complete, I yanked the connectors off my neck, ready to find Leski, but she’d already returned. She thrust a uniform at me before circling a block of storecases for privacy while changing. I could appreciate this as, for the first time in my life, I was self-conscious about taking my clothes off in front of someone. 

 I’d barely pulled the last piece of my uniform on when Leski barreled back toward me. 

 “Did you get what you needed?” she asked. 

 “Maybe,” I said. “I wasn’t particularly picky about what I stole.” 

 Humming, Leski said, “It’ll have to be good enough. Someone’s sure to check this place soon. We need to go.” 

 She had good instincts too. Damn, she’d make a good asset for House Kolb… 

 No. She was a person, not something to be acquired. 

 “Let’s get out of here,” I said. 

 We hurried to leave the stacks, but this goal was impeded by a House Cerullis member sliding to a stop in front of the exit, therefore blocking our path. Gasping, he hung off of the door frame, catching his breath, and for a moment, I thought he knew who we were. If he’d come to apprehend us, I’d have to hurt him, and I’d rather not do that, both because I didn’t like the idea of it and because I didn’t want Leski to see me subduing someone. 

 He only waved at us, though. 

 “Are you coming?” he said. “The Favored has commanded us to assemble.” 

 Leski and I exchanged a glance. I knew what she was thinking. We should get past this man and escape from the facility before he could raise another alarm, but he’d said the one thing that could keep me tethered here. 

 Favored. Meaning Korix. 

 If I could avoid it, I wouldn’t abandon someone I loved, no matter what the consequences might be. 

 “I’m right behind you,” I said. “Wyla needs to grab something first, but she’ll be along shortly too.” 

 Satisfied, the House Cerullis member took off, leaving me to face the most incredulous look I’d ever seen, blazing from Leski. I ignored it, following a stranger through a hostile location on the off-chance that my sentimentality worked out for me for once. 

 I didn’t expect Leski to come with me. I’d given her a way out on purpose, knowing that she could use the facility’s current chaos to escape from it. She’d snuck out once before, after all. 

 So, when she trailed behind me like a shadow, it spawned both terror and gratitude in me. Even inexperienced as she was, knowing she was at my back would keep me steady, and trust me. That was something I’d need over the next few hours. 

 TTS Chapter Fifty-Five

Chapter 56: In the Enemy's Midst
On the facility’s main level, House Cerullis members were crowding the halls that had been empty not ten minutes ago, flocking to the call of their leader. Having so many hostiles around her clearly made Leski uncomfortable, given the number of sharp glances she directed at me, but I didn’t blame her for that. I hated this too. 

 She sidled up next to me, and in the nervous muttering bouncing around us, I almost didn’t hear her voice. 

 “What will we do if someone recognizes you?” she asked. 

 Shaking my head, I said, “They won’t. The only one I’m worried about is the Lokke Vitras, and so long as I stay back, he should be too preoccupied to notice me.” 

 Should. I was gambling that the blending skills he’d taught me over the years would overcome his ability to detect me, but what else was I supposed to do? Leave this place when I had a clear opportunity to help him? I didn’t think so. 

 “You’re sure no one will recognize you?” Leski hissed. “You have pretty distinctive features.” 

 Lifting an eyebrow, I said, “Distinctive good or distinctive bad?” 

 Flushing, Leski sputtered a bit, and I enjoyed the sight of it. Teasing her was fun. 

 “Distinctive distinctive,” she growled. 

 “Ok. I’ll give you that,” I said, “but I have operative training. When needed, I can make myself look innocuous.” 

 Crossing her arms, Leski stared at me for a few steps. 

 “When we get out of here, we need to talk about exactly who you are,” she said. 

 That wasn’t going to happen, but I displayed an agreeable smile anyway. 

 “So long as we focus on our surroundings for now,” I said. 

 With a snarl, Leski faced forward, chewing on her lip. We got another dozen paces before she spoke up again. 

 “Why are we doing this when we should be getting out of here?” she asked. “And don’t give me the bullshit answer of needing more information. If you didn’t get what you needed from the stacks, then I’m a child of Ibis, which means something else is driving you. What is it? I deserve to know why I’m risking my life.” 

 Almost, I flinched from the twinge that pinched me. I should be escorting her to safety, but I couldn’t stop my feet from moving toward Korix. 

 Rather than answering her, I asked, “How did you know I was headed into a trap?” 

 Leski hunched on herself with her lip chewing growing more violent. 

 “I don’t know. A feeling?” she said. “It seemed strange that the Lokke Vitras, if it truly was him, would send me away. Why divest of a valuable resource when in the middle of a highly dangerous mission? I know I’m unHoused, but the bastard had to see my value, considering I was standing with you, deep in enemy territory. 

 “But I wasn’t sure. He’s the fucking Lokke Vitras. There had to be another reason for what he did. So, once I’d gotten somewhere safe, I wrestled with the facility’s recorder system until it was mine to control. Kept finding loops in their feeds, which was your work, I presume. I traced them until they stopped inside of a warehouse and… 

 “I saw the House Cerullis members sneak up on you, saw you realize what was going on, saw the Lokke Vitras crush your wrist.” 

 When she glanced toward said body part, I pretended not to notice. I knew she must be curious about it, considering I’d been using it as if it had healed. It hadn’t. It was getting there but was still very broken. 

 Leski didn’t need to know that, though. 

 “Is that when you decided to help me?” I asked. 

 With a huff, Leski said, “I did more than help you. I saved your ass. And you still haven’t answered my question.” 

 “No, I haven’t,” I said. 

 She cast an annoyed glance my way, and rolling my eyes, I slowed down, angling us toward the edge of the people flowing around us. Once there, I stopped, laying a hand on her shoulder. 

 “You don’t have to risk your life by following me. I know you’re more than capable of escaping from this place on your own, especially with the facility in an uproar,” I said. “So, why are you here?” 

 Mother Time, I’d never seen such stubbornness flare at me before, and I’d subdued a lot of people who’d rather I’d have killed them than bring them in. 

 “I’ll answer yours once you’ve answered mine,” Leski snapped. 

 As my hand slipped off of her shoulder, I almost spoke my first direct lie to her. I’d subsisted on misdirection to this point, but she wasn’t having it anymore, and if I refused to answer her, I was worried that she’d become reckless, whether with helping me or because emotions might blind her while she escaped. So, I had to decide. Would I keep my resolution? Would I only speak the truth with this woman? 

 Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath, scouring budding distractions from me, and empty, I considered the situation from an entirely logical mindset. In this state, the answer seemed obvious, and when I opened my eyes, Leski recoiled from me, which should hurt. 

 But it didn’t. 

 “In all honesty, the only reason I’m still in this facility is sentimental in nature. Someone I…” 

 I couldn’t bring myself to say the word aloud. 

 “I have to rescue someone who’s trapped, although I’m not sure how much of a prisoner he is,” I said, “but that doesn’t matter. I’m getting him out regardless.” 

 “Oh,” Leski said.  

 Lowering her head, she played with her shirt’s hem. 

 “You love him?” she asked. 

 Silent, I stared at the top of her head until she glanced up at me and winced. 

 “Your turn,” I said. 

 Blowing out a breath, Leski nodded. 

 “I’ve seen the look you’re wearing before,” she said. “The person who wore it back then thought she was about to lose…” 

 Leski roughly shook her head. 

 “It doesn’t matter why she showed me a face to match yours,” she said. “I didn’t help her when she needed me, and in part because of my failure, she died. I’ll never make that mistake again.” 

 Guilt. How intimately did I know its strength as a motivator? It almost always made someone too volatile for a mission, which meant Leski couldn’t be here. 

 “I’m more than capable of protecting myself,” I said. 

 Crossing her arms, Leski turned her head aside. 

 “That’s what my mother thought too,” she said. 

 Her mother. Shit. Even if I sent her away, this woman would follow me. With that as a source of guilt, she’d never stop helping me until she thought I was safe. 

 Knowing this, should I turn my back on Korix, securing Leski before going after him? No matter how much it pained me, I couldn’t deny that the question made me want to laugh with only one answer to it possible. 

 “Do what you want,” I said. “I have to hurry if I’m to blend in with the crowd again.” 

 I brushed past Leski, but before taking two paces, I rounded on her, jabbing my finger into her chest. 

 “I’m not your mother,” I said. 

 Glancing at my finger, Leski sighed before meeting my eyes. 

 “I know, Zaeden,” she said. 

 “Good,” I said. 

 With nothing more, I strode after the House Cerullis members with poured stone flying beneath my feet. Once I’d merged into the crowd again, I pointedly ignored Leski. No matter how much I wanted to pick at the mystery of her, her story would have to wait until we were free of this place. 

 If we were headed somewhere Korix would be, I’d need my full faculties about me. A possible confrontation with the Lokke Vitras required nothing less. 

 As we funneled into the facility’s hangar, I guided Leski toward a group of crates, good cover for if we needed it. They also sat toward the back of the crowd, all of whom were facing a central landing pad. 

 On this, shukusen Alezand was standing with his arms crossed, glancing over his subordinates as they got settled. I skipped over him and his oddities to the shuttle behind him. 

 In the shadow of its tail, Korix was leaning a shoulder against its hull, but he seemed uninterested in the House Cerullis members in front of him, tapping a finger on his arm instead of watching them. He was just… staring into thin air, and only the occasional slide of his eyelids over vacant gray helped to interrupt the prickles running rampant over my skin. When on missions, he might be empty, but I’d never seen him like this. 

 Yanking my gaze away from him, I noticed something shifting in the shadows above his head, and as Alezand stepped forward, I had my array enhance my view of this anomaly. 

 “A prisoner, a potential they have Favored, has escaped,” he said. “He must be found before they turn their full attention on us.” 

 The crowd’s nervous muttering rose in volume, and while Alezand motioned for calm, I narrowed my eyes. The air above Korix’s head. Something was… in it. 

 “We don’t have time for panic,” Alezand shouted. “Please, listen, so we can begin our search.” 

 The gathered House Cerullis members gradually fell quiet, especially when Alezand waved toward the shuttle to draw his subordinates’ gazes that way. Even with so much attention paid to him, Korix never moved from his spot with his finger continuing its tap. 

 “Your target is one of the most well-trained and dangerous men in Lutov,” he said, “but fortunately for you, I know how he thinks. I doubt he’s left this… lovely facility, probably went to the stacks as soon as he escaped. Send a few people to the sub-levels to search for him, but he won’t be there anymore. No. Now, he’ll be combing this facility for… well. What he seeks isn’t your concern, even if his quest for it is inordinately stupid.” 

 Ouch . 

 “When you find him, shoot him,” Korix continued. “You should aim to wound, but if you have nothing but a kill shot, take it. He cannot be allowed to escape this place.” 

 He fell silent, all while I fought watering eyes. Mother Time, he’d told them to… 

 Fuck. Whether something was controlling him or not, that hurt. 

 “I’ve sent a description and image of your target to your arrays,” Alezand said. “Get out of here, and find our prisoner as quickly as possible.” 

 In the end, I blessed the shimmer in my vision. It gave me a vague outline of the thing hovering over Korix, even as its shape wavered and changed in the next moment. What was that? Why didn’t it seem… corporeal? Was I fighting ghosts? 

 Even silly as the desire was, I hoped something so strange was my enemy because if that was true, its attachment to Korix was another piece of evidence in my case that his actions weren’t his own. 

 As the House Cerullis members left the hangar, I tugged Leski along with me, following the flood of people until we reached a better hiding spot. I crouched in the shadows between a wall and another set of crates, further away from the enemy while maintaining a decent line of sight. 

 Beside me, Leski hissed, “What are you doing? Now that this meeting’s concluded, we can use their search to find the man you love.” 

 “We’re staying here,” I said. “Sub-vocals, Leski.” 

 Gritting her teeth, she complied. 

 “Why would we stay here? Unless…” 

 She glanced at the landing pad. 

 “Is it Alezand?” she asked. “Zaeden, I’m sorry, but he can’t be rescued. He’s the leader of this conspiracy, if only as a figurehead-” 

 I pressed a finger to her lips, even though they weren’t moving. The last House Cerullis members were filing out of the hangar, and I needed to give Leski her instructions. 

 “No matter what happens, you stay here,” I said, jabbing a finger toward the floor. “If you try to help me, I promise you. It’s more likely to get me killed than actually help, so don’t do it. I’ll need your help with the aftermath. Understand?” 

 When she nodded, I relaxed a fraction. I’d thought for sure that she’d protest. 

 “Hopefully, everything will go the way I want,” I continued, “but if it doesn’t, you keep quiet until you can escape, and you go home. Tell Talira that the instructions you sent her way were a trap. Let her know what happened here.” 

 “Will do,” Leski said. 

 Slumping, I said, “Thank you. Now, just-” 

 “Stay here. I know,” Leski said. 

 Smiling, I squeezed her shoulder before creeping to the edge of the crate. With the hangar emptied, only Korix and Alezand remained here, and I made a face. I needed the shukusen to leave before I could make my move because… 

 Mother Time. I was about to attack the Lokke Vitras, my evushk, my… 

 Hell. I was about to engage in a fight where I couldn’t hold anything back and my intent must always be to kill, and my opponent would be my partner. 

 I hated my life.

Chapter 57: Something's Not Right
Shukusen Alezand showed no sign of leaving, and cursing in my head, I settled in to wait. Obviously, one of the people on the landing pad wanted something from the other, and I was curious which was which. 

 “What else needs to be finished before we can start?” Korix asked. 

 “Several cells in charge of collection and harvest need to get into position, and we need the final delivery of firepower from Niklaus,” Alezand said. “Once those conditions are met, we can begin the cascade.” 

 Korix nodded with distant eyes, and shifting in place, Alezand bit his tongue before speaking again. 

 “If I may, Favored,” he said, “are the terms that we discussed still acceptable to them?” 

 Rousing, Korix turned a mild gaze on Alezand, but the shukusen flinched nonetheless. 

 “In the coming days, those who have cooperated will receive better treatment than the vast majority, yes,” Korix said. “When this is done, Cerullis will be the last House left standing.” 

 “And that doesn’t bother you?” Alezand asked. “From what I understand, you and Talira are close. When it comes time for her removal, will you hesitate?” 

 Her removal? They were planning to kill my grandmother? 

 Of course they were. She was one of the five people with the greatest cause to oppose this scheme. 

 A twinge spasmed across Korix’s face, and he closed his trembling hands into fists. Wait. I’d seen this before- 

 He relaxed with a chuckle rumbling from him. 

 “I can’t afford to hesitate, not with my once evushk,” he said. “If I did, she would slaughter me.” 

 “So… you’ll kill her without a problem,” Alezand said. 

 A grunt flew from Korix, and he hunched the smallest bit. His throat worked, but something stopped him from speaking. 

 I had seen this before. It had happened several times between when I’d first run into my evushk here and the moment when he’d put me in a cell. 

 Straightening, Korix flashed a sloppy smile at Alezand. 

 “Yes, shukusen, I will,” he said. 

 “Good,” Alezand said. “She’s the only one I’m worried about now that Zaeden’s ours.” 

 “Do not underestimate him,” Korix said. “That man is more dangerous than all of House Kolb’s Second Strata combined. If you don’t take him seriously, you will die.” 

 He had such confidence in me. Was that why he’d looked so relieved when asking me to stop him? 

 “Are you sure you’re not overestimating him? Given that he’s Talira’s grandson, you could have a soft spot for him,” Alezand said. “If circumstances require it, can you overcome your attachment to him? Can you end his life?” 

 A shudder rattled Korix violently enough that he stumbled away from the shuttle’s hull. Clasping his knees, he gasped, lifting a fiery gaze to Alezand. 

 “I… will… never-” he croaked. 

 [ Leave us. ] 

 Rooted in place, I watched through frozen eyes as Alezand bowed to the shadows beneath the shuttle’s wing, where I’d seen something hovering before. What the fuck had that been? It had sounded like a voice. Maybe. 

 But when I tried to remember what I’d heard, it slipped through my mental grasp. What sort of tech did that? Who the hell was I fighting? 

 Why was I not more pleased to learn that something real lay behind the outline that I’d seen, something besides my mind looking for proof that Korix hadn’t betrayed me? 

 When someone wrapped their fingers in my shirt, I glanced back at Leski. Her eyes had ballooned with a twitch having started in her cheek, and her breathing was coming far too short and often. She jerked her head toward the exit that Alezand was disappearing through, but I shook mine, reaching behind me to squeeze her hand. Her lips went thin, but I didn’t observe more of her disapproval as the… voice? 

 Yes. Voice. 

 As it spoke again. 

 [ Why do you resist us? You are Favored. ] 

 Panting, Korix pushed off of his knees, swaying in place as he stared at nothing. 

 “You… could never understand,” he said. “For how much… you manipulate them, emotions just aren’t within your capacity to comprehend.” 

 [ Is our displeasure not enough to make you reject this Zaeden? ] 

 At this, Korix clenched his jaw, and his face grew steadily ruddier while veins popped in his neck. 

 [ Speak! ] 

 Wincing, I pressed my hands over my ears—the voice’s booming command had rung so strongly in them—but I let myself have this reaction. Listening to the voice made my brain push against its containing bone, setting a dull throb loose in my skull, and this ache had only worsened as its volume had increased. 

 “NO!” 

 This roar, while not one to produce pain, jerked my head out of its hang. I’d never heard Korix like this: in distress but defiant. All for me. 

 Oh, my beautiful partner. 

 For a time, all I heard was Korix’s ragged panting, and all I wanted was to rush forward and stand with him against his enemy, but I couldn’t. I didn’t know who or- or what this voice was, but I knew that it could subsume a person’s will beneath its own. I wouldn’t willingly surrender myself to it, not when I was the only thing keeping Lutov safe from the damage that the Lokke Vitras alone could cause. 

 So, I waited and hoped that I could find an opening, a time when I could steal Korix away from this place with none the wiser. Including them. 

 [ Interesting. We didn’t expect such emotional variety and resilience from you. No matter, though. The cause can be dealt with. ] 

 Stiffening, Korix said, “Dealt… with?” 

 [ Yes. Come here, Favored. Now. ] 

 “N-!” 

 While his jaw locked, Korix jerked taut before toppling to the floor with a crack. His body spasmed to an unheard beat, almost like a seizure, but I knew that wasn’t right, not with my array giving me a perfect view of his face. He hadn’t gone absent like someone having an epileptic fit would. His bright eyes were too focused, and I tasted blood from where I’d almost chewed a hole in my cheek. 

 Going limp, he feebly tried to reach his hands and knees, but after getting halfway there, he only flopped to the ground again. I would have surged to him, taking him somewhere safe, if Leski hadn’t wrapped her arms around my chest right then. Her cheek was wet where she’d it pressed into my back. 

 [ Come here, or we will give worse to your Zaeden before his end. ] 

 It was like Korix hadn’t heard the voice. He lay motionless while the lump of him rose and fell with each breath, and I was silently screaming for him to do what the voice had said, even as I pulled Leski off of me. I couldn’t watch him in the grip of such pain again. 

 From where he was sprawled, Korix said, “Leave him alone, and I’ll stop fighting you.” 

 …What? Had he seriously just made that offer? Until his end, my Korix would serve House Kolb and Lutov above all else, and surrendering himself for me was the opposite of keeping the homeland safe. What was he thinking? 

 Unless… 

 Was he entrusting the duty that he’d upheld for his whole life to me? Did he expect me to stop him? 

 Of course he did. He’d practically begged me to do it. 

 [ Your terms accepted, Favored. A pact formed between— ] a garbled mess of sound [ —and you upon reassertion of control. ] 

 “And we all know how seriously you lot take pacts,” Korix grumbled. 

 With a pained grunt, he reached his knees. 

 “May I have a moment or-?” 

 [ Now. ] 

 Sighing, Korix said, “That’s what I thought.” 

 He crawled beneath the shuttle’s wing, sitting on his heels once there. 

 Spreading his arms, he said, “Anytime now.” 

 Should I let this happen? Could I? 

 With a slow breath in and out, I shoved emotion below the surface for the hundredth time today. Whatever this voice was, taking control of Korix again would probably distract it. I’d strike then, and this awful series of events would end. 

 A wavering outline floated to a stop above Korix. Before he could blink or brace, it funneled into a thin line, and this flowed like a hazy strand of sand into his nose. 

 This was it. I needed to go now. I tensed to spring- 

 And Korix screamed. 

 I nearly fell on my face with my heart painfully skipping a beat. Korix never cried out like that. Not when he was irritated. Now when we were intimate. Certainly not due to pain. I’d seen him get burned so badly that his flesh had bubbled with only a slight grunt in response. 

 His scream wrapped around my mind with threads of it permeating all of me, and it didn’t matter that this sound meant I could finally help him. I couldn’t move, not with rust coating my every joint and a sedative infused in the core of every muscle. 

 When he fell silent, I could only blink while he got off the floor, stretching his arms and rolling his wrists as if testing them. Like something or someone else was wearing his body. 

 Bastard. 

 Leski again kept me from leaping out of cover. 

 “What are you doing?” she said in sub-vocals. “You can’t confront the Lokke Vitras.” 

 “I have to save him,” I said, tugging on her hold. 

 With a small gasp, Leski recoiled from me. 

 “He’s the one you love?” she said. “What-? How is that possible?” 

 “Zaeden…” 

 That sing-song voice cut through Leski’s sputter, and we both went still. 

 “Where are you?” Korix called. “I know you’re here. How long have you been watching?” 

 Shit. I’d lost the element of surprise, if I’d ever actually had it. 

 “I have to fight him now,” I said. “If he knows I’m here, he’ll never let us leave peacefully." 

 “How can you-?” Leski started. 

 I placed my palm over her mouth. 

 “Stay here. Remember?” I said. 

 With her eyes pinched, she nodded, and I crept toward the crate’s edge once again. 

 “Come out, kuvesk,” Korix called. “Let’s have a showdown, you and I.” 

 That, I could oblige. Slowly exhaling, I stepped into conflict.

Chapter 58: Well, I'm About to Die 1
I didn’t rush him. I wasn’t an idiot. If I did that, he’d just shoot me from the landing pad. 

 No, I had to sneak closer before I engaged, praying all the while that I could surprise him. I seriously doubted that would happen, but one could always dream. 

 “What are you doing, kuvesk?” Korix crooned. “Are you planning on sneaking up on me? That’s what I’d do.” 

 Every time this… thing called me its student, I had to control a shudder, even with my emotional blockade in place. It was wrong, and if I weren’t so detached right now, I’d probably reveal myself somehow. At least he wasn’t calling me- 

 “Zae, this is silly,” Korix called. “I trained you. I know all your tricks. You should come out and let me knock you senseless. I won’t leave you in a cell for much longer. I promise.” 

 I couldn’t pay attention to him. He was trying to rip control away from him, and it was working.  

 As I focused, his voice faded into the background, and I could consider the options laid before me. I’d gotten nearly ninety degrees around the landing pad Korix was standing on, leaving another one opposite me. I could try a noiseless sprint to the shuttle sitting there, or I could continue with this circle, getting further behind him. I didn’t like the idea of giving him more time, though. Plus, I had no guarantee that he’d stay where I’d last seen him. 

 Examining calculations in my array, I threw myself into the open. Only a few meters lay between me and my goal, and I was across them in a handful of heartbeats with my footfalls nearly silent, despite my speed. Thank Mother Time that my array’s full faculties had been returned to me. 

 Plastering against the shuttle’s hull, I listened, but Korix had fallen silent, which was concerning. Slowly, I eased down the aircraft to where I could see the shuttle shielding my target. When I glanced at the other landing pad, however, no one was standing on it. With my target vanished, I requested my rifle’s formation, only to have it denied. 

 The hell? I’d thought that something in my cell had been blocking my array. If it was another thing entirely, though, what-? 

 “Relying solely on yourself is inconvenient, isn’t it?” 

 That question had come from above me. 

 Dropping, I rolled beneath the shuttle’s lifted nose as boots clomped where I’d just been standing. He knew where I was, had probably known the entire time, and I didn’t have a damn weapon on me, too hurried until now to look for one besides my rifle. I’d been relying on my tech again. What a gigantic mistake. 

 As soon as I was on my feet, I was off to the end of the shuttle’s nose. Now that he’d announced himself, Korix wouldn’t try anything fancy. He’d take the straightest path to me, one that also wouldn’t put him at risk. 

 Soon, he’d round the shuttle, and I had to reach that spot first so I could force him into close combat. It was the only way I stood a chance now. My sole weapon was me while he probably had a host of them available, both ranged and melee. 

 Korix flashed past me at House Kolb speed, but somehow, I caught hold of his arm. I didn’t keep it for long—didn’t want mine ripped out of its socket—but it was enough to keep him in my immediate vicinity. 

 He used his sudden stop to his advantage, twisting to kick at my knee. With my own burst of speed, I moved out of range before jabbing my fingers at his eyes. Knocking the strike aside, Korix threw a fist at my temple, probably hoping to adle me, but I caught it on my wrist. 

 The broken one. 

 Grunting, I barely maintained my block, but my distraction let him plant a foot in my stomach and shove me away. 

 Fuck, I couldn’t breathe! 

 Stumbling, I corrected my balance as quickly as possible, fully expecting to find a rifle in my face, but Korix had maintained his position. He’d magicked a knife into his hand, tumbling it through his fingers. 

 When my lungs would allow it, I gasped, “You’re playing with me.” 

 His knife’s hilt slapped into his palm before he pointed the blade at me. 

 “You may be nearing the end of your training, kuvesk, but I—” 

 The knife flashed as Korix spun it to face him. 

 “—have decades of experience on you. You can’t win. Give in.” 

 “Not going to happen,” I growled. “I don’t care what sort of deal you’ve struck with them. I know what you want. I will stop you, Ko.” 

 And I dove for him. I ignored the knife, chopping at his neck while I slammed my foot on his toes. Something I’d said must have stolen his focus because I felt something give way beneath my heel, but even with that, Korix slapped my hand away, which was fine. The other one, in a fist, was flying for his nose. 

 Before it could connect, Korix responded. Ducking, he lashed out with his knife, sending ribbons of numbness spreading across my chest. Superficial cuts. 

 As he rose, however, the knife’s arc stopped, switching to a downward thrust at my face. I couldn’t dodge it, too invested in my current strike as I was, so I did the only thing I could. 

 Aiming for his wrist, I missed, curling my fingers around the knife’s blade instead. Sharpened steel dug into my bone, fileting my palm, and my poor, abused wrist nearly buckled as I stopped the swipe. The knife’s point tickled my eye, ripping miniscule lacerations across my cornea, but with this blow, Korix had opened himself up. 

 Ignoring alerts and a ruined hand, screaming in protest, I slapped my palm against the inside of his elbow and twirled him in front of me. I jerked his arm up his back, twisting until the knife fell out of his loose fingers, and shoving him away from me, I ran the fuck away, clutching my hand to my chest once I’d extracted my prize. 

 I had a weapon. 

 Energy bolts chased my dash to the hangar’s crates, and I wove between them. I’d almost reached cover when something punched through my back while light burst in front of me. Before I could deaden my nerves’ receptors, debilitating pain took me in body and mind, but I managed to transform my resulting topple into a roll behind the crates. Thank Mother Time for well-practiced reflexes. 

 I didn’t have long before Korix would come after me, but slumped against plastic, I couldn’t move. My wheezing gasps weren’t giving me enough oxygen, and oh, I might be sick. Dizzy and with hurt howling through me, I forced myself to my hands and knees, reading alerts as I crawled deeper into the maze of crates. 

 Obviously, at least one of Korix’s bolts had hit me. The question was what it had damaged as it had passed through my body, and glancing over what my array had presented, I winced. One of my kidneys, my diaphragm, and my liver. No wonder I felt like I was about to drop dead. 

 None of these injuries were immediately life-threatening, though. I could still fight, if only for a short time. 

 As pain faded to nothing, I hauled myself to my feet, grimacing. Half a minute into this fight and I’d already sustained too many injuries. Given that, how could I expect to win? At least if I died here, Leski would bring news to- 

 Leski. As I swiveled my head to examine my surroundings, something like panic took root in my emotionless state. She was hiding nearby. I was bringing Korix right to her. 

 “Shit,” I mumbled. 

 In a stumbling run, I put distance between me and her, heading for a break in the crates up ahead. Despite the danger it would put me in, I needed to get into the open, drawing Korix to the other side of the hangar. The thing inside of him couldn’t have Leski too. 

 A mass of black dropped between me and the opening while a glinting dagger chopped at my neck. I raised my knife, and the dagger’s glance along it gave me enough support to make an unsteady retreat. 

 The coldness in Korix’s eyes was back. He dispassionately watched as I slipped and nearly fell in a bloody handprint that I’d left behind. 

 “Unlike you humans, the- the-” 

 Korix made a face. 

 “The Ancients, as you lot call us, honor our pacts. Because of that, we cannot kill you,” he said, “but we will do what we must to preserve the plan. Our people require no less. We would rather not hurt you until your frail, solid body succumbs to the state that your people call sleep. Please, surrender.” 

 Was this… was Korix’s captor talking to me? Was it… not human? 

 How was that possible? With those from beyond the stars gone, nothing alien populated our planet. Not anymore. 

 “Let my evushk go and agree to talk peaceably with us, and I’ll consider surrendering,” I said. “Otherwise, you can fuck off.” 

 Korix’s face twisted. 

 “Why are humans always so volatilely unreasonable?” he said. “Oh, well. What happens next will be your choice,                                  

 The mocking in that last word… 

 But then, Korix was flying at me with a dagger, and consideration of my enemy’s nature was wiped from my mind. 

 I refused to think about how dangerous knife fights were, even as I missed an opportunity to disarm Korix in our first exchange. He overextended in his stab, but my fuzzy brain was only occupied with avoiding further damage, so I didn’t see it until it was too late. Even given that bad start, I laid a deep cut into Korix’s retreating arm. It was nothing deadly, but it would annoy him. 

 As he readied to attack again, I failed to make my own strike, darting around him. I wouldn’t last long in these conditions, needed to reach an environment more conducive to my survival. Maybe I could find a rifle in a weapons crate, if I could reach one- 

 A fist impacted my chest, which emptied my lungs. Off-center, I lurched toward Korix, blocking his dagger, and this gave me the momentum needed to stay on my feet. 

 As soon as I’d recovered, however, a pistol’s barrel was leveled at my face. I didn’t register what it was until House Kolb speed had assisted me in jerking the weapon above my head, and the heat of an energy bolt seared my scalp. 

 Tiny knife against a dagger and a pistol? Hell. I needed to- 

 Something rocked me to the side, and I took a risk, glancing toward the impact site. The primal part of my brain shrieked at what I saw. 

 Korix’s dagger was embedded in me below the ribs, and my body had slurped the blade inside, burying it almost twelve centimeters into my chest. 

 Rather than twist it to further damage my organs, Korix cleanly removed the dagger with a sheet of blood following it, and almost, almost shock froze my solid. Almost, my incredulity that my partner would do something like this got me killed. 

 Instead, I dropped one hand from my hold on his wrist, swinging for his face, but this time, the blow connected. Korix lurched backward, and I used this incapacitation to get around him. 

 Only then did I press a hand to my side, letting the blood on my palm mix with the slick spill of it found there. As I took off in a run, my skin parted, exposing bits of innards to free air, and I was so damn grateful that my mind had yet to acknowledge the pain of this. It wouldn’t matter how many receptors I dulled; the flare of this damage would burn through them with the injury demanding to be heard. 

 I needed rapid regeneration drugs. Now. 

 Using House Kolb speed, I sprinted in an uneven gait toward the hangar’s entrance. Maybe I could lead Korix in a merry chase to a clinic of some- 

 The heat of an energy bolt tore through my thigh, and with everything else hobbling me, my legs gave out. I went down, rolling and tumbling.

Chapter 59: Well, I'm About to Die 2
A mishmash of rotating colors abruptly halted with my head smacking into plastic, and my vision further blurred, jerking without permission across the ceiling. A high-pitched buzz took up residence in my ears, and I was having a hard time parsing why a flashing box with words in it was obscuring the shadow standing over me. 

 A muffled voice pierced through the world’s ringing— 

 “We really should kill you.” 

 —and as a fuzzy shape took on a crisp edge, I smiled at a man. He was pointing something shiny at me, but the sight of him made me feel good. Why? 

 The man went rigid before dropping to the ground with another person replacing him. When I raised my head to follow the scene, a dull ache throbbed inside my skull, nearly felling me, and after it had faded, I thought I might be sick, but there was the man again, and a woman was crouching over him, pressing a box with a sparking end to the base of his skull, and he flopped and spasmed on the floor with his gray eyes bulging. 

 Why? Why-? 

 I was screaming at the woman. Why? 

 She rushed to hover over me with her face pinched. Why? 

 “What do you need?” she frantically asked. “How do I help you, Zaeden?” 

 Was that my name? 

 The woman- woman… I knew her. I did! Leski. Yes. Leski had asked me something. Something important. Something about fixing what was wrong with me. 

 Was something wrong with me? 

 Leski bore down on my side, and it hurt! Mother. fucking. Time, it hurt! 

 A horrible noise boomed in the air around me. What was that? I needed to help! 

 Leski clamped a hand over my mouth, which silenced the racket. 

 Oh. It had been me. I shouldn’t be making noise. Right? That was why she was- was putting her smooth skin on my lips… mm. I liked that. 

 “RRDs” Leski said before focusing on me. “Do you need rapid regeneration drugs?” 

 Those sounded nice. Where to get them, though? 

 Leski swayed back while a sob hiccupped in the air, and I spied the man lying behind her. At the sight of him, a chill shot through me. 

 Why? Did I know him? Considering how much warmth and anxiety had spawned on seeing that slackened face. I had to. 

 What was his name. I had to know- 

 “Korix,” I mumbled. 

 Leski jerked her head toward me, and I remembered her question. Somehow. 

 “Evushk. He’ll… have… drugs… on him,” I sleepily said. 

 With a gasp, Leski scampered on her hands and knees to Korix’s side, roughly searching him. I wished she’d be gentler with him but I- 

 So weak. The back of my head slammed down, which made the fuzzy word boxes, floating in front of me, gain clarity. Like a story before bed, I read them, although the rate of my blinking slowed down as I did. Still, I fought to keep my eyes open. Sleep sounded like a bad idea. 

 This was what my bedtime tale said: 

 A wrist further fractured. A hand slashed all to hell. A scratched cornea. Holes through multiple organs and my leg. A gaping laceration in my side. Moderate head trauma. Severe blood loss. 

 “Ko will be pissed with me,” I mumbled. 

 Pinpricks dotted my arms and neck, and the woman… Leski sat beside me, taking my hand. 

 “I should have made you leave,” she said. “I shouldn’t have let you fight the Lokke Vitras. Who could be worth enduring damage like this?” 

 Wasn’t the answer to that question obvious? 

 “He is,” I said. 

 Maybe she bit her lip at that. I thought it might be so, but I was too focused on fighting off sleep’s siren call to notice. She and I danced with one another, much like I had with another woman not long ago. We twirled and twisted until we were twined one to the other, and with a cackle, she tried to tug me into her depths, but I wrestled against her hold. Slowly, I gained the strength to turn my attention to the real world, even if threads of exhaustion were still hanging from me. 

 Sitting up, I took a sip of air. Fuck. Even over the years of my hellish training, I’d never been so thoroughly thrashed. My body had been pierced and battered so badly that even rapid regeneration drugs were struggling to repair it. 

 To be fair, the drugs that Leski had given me were probably the shitty hypos of it that Korix brought with him on missions- 

 Korix! 

 A burst of energy manifested from nowhere, suffusing me for the brief seconds that it took to reach my partner. When his artery leapt against my finger, I slumped on him for a moment with a ragged gasp my only concession to the tears in my eyes. 

 His heat… the smell of him… these called for me to sleep more loudly than what had tempted me before, but I forced myself upright, searching his body. I pulled his weapons free, tossing most of them into a faraway pile, although I snagged a few for myself. 

 When I found his sedatives and restraints, I used both on him. If I was remembering this right, Leski had shocked Korix into unconsciousness, which should keep him under for a few more minutes, but I’d rather not fight him again, not when our first round had caused so much damage. 

 So, he got a significant dose of sedatives, although I retained a few hypos for our coming trip. As for the restraints, I hooked him into them, using the most intricate pattern I knew. He’d still get free of them within a minute, but that was a minute I could use to my advantage. 

 With Korix relatively secured, I looked for Leski. I’d noted her absence on gaining limited mobility but thought it best to neutralize the threat before figuring out where she’d gone. 

 Getting to my feet was hell with the hangar spinning once the task was done, but after taking a few steps into its open floor, I spotted a familiar woman, hanging out the door to scan the hall beyond. We had made a lot of noise. She’d been wise to check for enemies. 

 When I sent her a short message, Leski jerked upright before glancing over her shoulder. A squeak flew from her when she saw me, and after she started sprinting my way, I returned to Korix’s side. By the time she’d joined me, I had my elbows hooked under his arms, dragging him step by painful step toward the closest landing pad. 

 Leski stopped short with color draining from her cheeks. 

 “What are you doing?” she snapped. 

 Rolling my eyes, I panted, “Getting the Lokke Vitras into a shuttle for transport. What does it look like I’m doing?” 

 Using a shuttle would mean leaving a borrowed skycruiser behind, and while I hated entrusting Ace to my processes, I knew they’d fly him to Feena soon. They had to because there was no way in hell I could reach my dog right now, not in my current condition. Not with Korix in tow. Not even if Leski helped me. 

 Which she did not look willing to do. 

 “Are you insane?” she hissed. “Not only is that man the worst traitor Lutov’s ever seen, but he nearly killed you! Leave him, and once we’re clear of this place, have shukusen Talira glass it. It seems like a fitting punishment.” 

 Uh… 

 “Glassings don’t work that way. Except in Ostiu, I guess,” I said. “Authorizing one is a lengthy process.” 

 The only reason Alezand had been able to glass Korix’s estate was because his House controlled the satellites that caused those disasters. 

 “Why such vehemence for the Lokke Vitras?” I asked. “It seems… out of character for you.” 

 She’d been nothing but compassionate with me. 

 “What I’ve listed isn’t enough?” 

 Leski’s face had contorted into a monster mask, and seeing it, I knew more had to lie behind her rage than what she’d claimed. I didn’t have time to learn what it was right now, though. 

 “I need him alive. He can give us more answers, especially with this… Ancient—whatever that is—controlling him,” I said. “Will you please help me get him into a shuttle?” 

 Stepping closer, Leski poked my forehead, pushing hard enough that my head snapped back, and with a soft groan, I almost lost my grip on Korix. Hell, that had made me nauseous. 

 “What is it with you and learning everything you can about a problem?” she snapped. “We know enough, Zaeden. It’s time to take action-” 

 “I am taking action!” 

 My roar echoed in the hangar, and on its fading note, both of us were left taut as bowstrings. 

 “I am,” I repeated as silence fell. “I’m taking a shuttle, flying it to Xygek, and bringing everything that we’ve learned to shukusen Talira. She’s best equipped to know what we should do next. But I’m not leaving him. There is nothing in this world that can convince me to do that, so will you please lend me a hand? I’d like to get us in the air before the RRDs in my bloodstream taper off.” 

 Leski drew her lips into a thin line while crossing her arms. 

 “Answer me one question,” she said. “Is he the reason you barreled headlong into danger? Is he the one you love?” 

 I didn’t know how she’d concluded this. I’d never confirmed her conjecture, so why would she believe that love was driving me? Did my actions speak that loudly? 

 Lowering my head, I gazed down the length of Korix’s slackened form, and I wanted to smack myself for how I’d been behaving. House Kolb training should have had me far away from this place hours ago. If he were awake, Korix would be lecturing me about my failure to do so, but here I stood, holding him and about to collapse. 

 Was this my way of resisting captivity? Korix had encouraged me to do that as part of my birthday gift. Did I strive for my freedom by helping the ones I loved? Were they how I fought? 

 Leski cleared her throat with her foot tapping, and sighing, I slumped. 

 “This is important, Leski,” I said before meeting her gaze. “I don’t love this man. I can never love this man because if I did, it would make me compromised, and House Kolb can’t have that. 

 “So, it doesn’t matter that I breathe easier when he’s near me. It doesn’t matter that I’d go down, kicking and screaming, for him. I don’t love the Lokke Vitras, and that is what Lutov must always believe. Do you understand me?” 

 I couldn’t define the expression Leski was showing me. It was almost wistful, but disappointment lingered there as well. I didn’t know what to make of it, which meant I didn’t know how I might need to respond, and this put me on edge. 

 She, however, merely nodded before hesitantly gathering Korix’s legs. When she touched him, something shivered over her, something I didn’t understand, but then, I was much too preoccupied with getting us onto the shuttle to care. 

 Even without his weapons, Korix was heavy, and given my flagging strength and Leski’s short stature, it took us several bursts of movement to reach the shuttle. Once we were inside, Leski dropped her hold, striding toward the aircraft’s console, and I struggled to get Korix strapped into a seat before limping to join her. 

 Black bars had started edging into my view of the world, and everything was spinning. Rapid regeneration drugs were failing, leaving me nowhere near fully healed, but they’d done enough to get me to the capital alive, which was all I’d needed from them. 

 Still, I tripped over something while heading for the console, nearly faceplanting on its surface. Hanging from it, I input coordinates before crawling to a seat, clambering into it, and retrieving sedative hypos to rest on my leg. Hopefully, Leski would know what to do with them. 

 I kept fumbling with the seat’s harness. Its buckles had turned oil-slicked in my hands, and clicking her tongue, Leski removed hers, crouching in front of me as we rose into the air. Stealing pesky straps out of my hands, she looked at me with a frown and a crease between her eyebrows. 

 “Who are you, Zaeden?” she asked. 

 A laugh bucked my body in my seat, plunging me into the black for a split second. 

 “I can’t. Not now,” I said. “Ask me again in Xygek.” 

 I thought Leski replied to me, but what she’d said was reduced to mush, much like I was to the world. Sleep, that sinuous siren, claimed her newest victim with glee, and I eagerly welcomed her embrace.

Chapter 60: A Heavy-Handed Boss
Shukusen Talira was glaring at me like I’d offended her highest sensibilities. I stood perfectly still in front of her with one arm crossed behind my back while supporting myself on an IV pole with the other, and all the while, I ignored what was floating beside me. 

 “Reckless. Irresponsible. Sentimental,” Talira said. “For Mother Time’s sake, it’s like you’ve learned nothing since rescuing Feena, all those years ago.” 

 I held my tongue, refusing to unleash the snarky responses dancing on it. They wouldn’t be appropriate right now, only getting me in trouble. 

 “As the shukusen says,” I said instead. 

 Something whipped my head to the side, leaving my cheek stinging, but after what I’d recently undergone, getting slapped like this was nothing. It did, however, almost knock me over, and the IV pole I was clinging to wobbled in place. As I straightened, I made a face at the orange-tinted liquid in its bag. I hated the more potent versions of rapid regeneration drugs. They left me woozy for days. 

 “Don’t do that,” Talira said, rubbing her hand. “Don’t become like your evushk. It’s bad enough that I’m losing him to his fight with-” 

 With a small gasp, she looked away. 

 “I can’t have two of my heirs failing on me before I retire.” 

 Cocking my head, I said, “You don’t want to follow a protocol?” 

 “No,” Talira said with a wince. “That’s always been his thing, his way of resisting what’s eating him alive.” 

 She turned to the side, forcing me to acknowledge something that I wished had never existed. A long, amber capsule of viscous material was hanging in the center of the room with plastic tubes snaking from holes in the floor to the man inside of it. 

 Korix looked strange in a hospital gown, frozen halfway through a breath. I didn’t like this view of him, so helpless and seemingly trapped, but it was for the best. He could easily escape from any form of imprisonment besides stasis. 

 Still, putting him in a stasis field made my guts twist while a sense of wrong brushed along the inside of my skin. It was reserved only for the severely wounded and the worst of criminals, murderers whose acts made even the highest Strata in House Kolb shudder. Korix shouldn’t be in one. 

 But I couldn’t focus on him. 

 “If you don’t want to follow protocol, grandmother, then I have a question,” I said, watching her from the corner of my eye. “What the fuck are we going to do? I don’t know what these Ancients are, but considering that they’ve subverted a House and played a part in Lutov’s ancient war, I’m a little lost as to how we can oppose them.” 

 “We take it one step at a time,” Talira said. 

 She faced me with a blank expression in place. 

 “First, we decide what to do with your evushk.” 

 I seized up. When I turned to Talira, it was like I was moving through putty, and the room’s hum went quiet. 

 “I assume you already have an idea for that?” I said. 

 Nodding, Talira reached inside her coat, withdrawing my worst fear from it. Flipping the pistol so that its grip faced my way, she offered it to me. 

 “The current Lokke Vitras has failed in the one aspect that’s most critical to his role: loyalty to Lutov,” she said. “It doesn’t matter if someone is or was controlling him during his moments of treachery. He betrayed the homeland and therefore, can no longer keep it safe. Considering what he can do, we have only one course of action available to us. We eliminate him and elevate his replacement.” 

 I couldn’t lift my eyes off of the weapon that she’d presented to me. 

 With my voice filtering to me through a tube, I said, “What is it you’re asking me to do, shukusen?” 

 Talira shook the pistol. 

 “Kill the Lokke Vitras, and by doing so, kill this version of yourself,” she said. 

 A wail rose in me— noIcan’tnotagainnotaftereverything —and from outside of my body, I watched myself swallow and reach for the pistol. 

 “As you command.” 

 The weight in my hand fought to drag me into the planet’s fiery core, but I resisted it, manipulating marionette legs and a disobedient IV pole until I was standing beside the peak of the amber capsule. Korix looked so peaceful in it, and all of me screeched to throw the pistol at Talira’s face before getting him out of there. Together, we could stand against her, right? 

 But not only was that desire unfeasible but I knew what my grandmother was doing. Probably. 

 So instead, I leveled the pistol at Korix, barely controlling my hand’s tremor. If I squeezed this trigger, the bolt it unleashed would fly fast enough to rip through his brain before the stasis field interfered. Another loved one murdered by me. 

 My finger tightened. 

 “Stop!” Talira shouted. 

 Thank Mother Time. I’d been right. 

 Even still, the world froze around me. A vacuum took hold of the room, sucking sound and air into the void, and while my chest vibrated, I couldn’t hear myself speak. 

 “Shukusen?” 

 She came through clear as a bell. 

 “I’m sorry, Zae-zae. Your actions in the House Cerullis facility seemed… excessive,” she said. “I know you have certain inclinations, ones that aren’t conducive to the Lokke Vitras role. I trained those same desires out of your evushk when he was my kuvesk, but I wasn’t sure if he’d done the same with you. I had to make sure nothing lay between you. From what you’ve shown me here, nothing does.” 

 I didn’t know how I kept from turning the pistol on Talira, but I left it pointed at Korix as hot air hissed between my teeth. 

 She’d done what to him? 

 Fuck it. I knew what I’d told Leski, and hiding this relationship from Lutov as a whole, I could do, but I was sick of concealing this from someone who should have noticed it years ago. 

 And damn the consequences. 

 “I’m happy to have proven myself to you,” I said, “but if I may?” 

 Furrowing her brow, Talira nodded. 

 “Thank you,” I continued. “I’d like to know why it matters if I’ve developed an attachment to evushk, especially of the type you’re suggesting. One of the reasons he’s having so much trouble with his role is because for decades, he’s had no one else who can relate to him beside you, and let’s be honest. You’re too busy to deal with someone else’s needs, especially someone like him who’d require so much attention. 

 “So, tell me. What’s the harm in the Lokke Vitras having a confidant, whether secret or not, whose support might lengthen their stay in the role. What’s the harm in said confidant helping them? What’s the harm in him loving me?” 

 Everything about Talira screamed tension, and I knew that I was teetering on a tightwire. One wrong move and my life would become a nightmare again, so I said nothing. Did nothing. Waited. 

 Licking her lips, Talira said, “And vice versa?” 

 When I nodded, she gritted her teeth, drawing her shoulders together. 

 “In your proposed scenario, where do these individuals’ loyalties lie?” she said. “With Lutov or one another?” 

 After giving the pistol a significant glance, I said, “You already know the answer to your question.” 

 Even if I didn’t. I was sincerely not sure what I’d do if Talira ordered me to kill Korix. 

 She didn’t need to know that, though. 

 “Then…” 

 Rubbing her face, Talira released an explosive sigh. 

 “Then, stop aiming that pistol at him,” she said. “Return it to me.” 

 Lowering my arm, I traveled the few steps between us in a fog, but it was different from before. I was revisited by the exhaustion that I’d fought on arriving in Xygek, one that had deepened while getting hustled to the hospital in the depths of headquarters. 

 Hours had passed since then. I should be dead to the world by now, but the adrenaline burst I’d artificially triggered, to my medic’s dismay, should keep fatigue at bay for a while yet. My weariness now was coming from something else entirely: the release of great strain. 

 When I relinquished the pistol to her, Talira captured my wrist, moving faster than I’d thought possible without House Kolb speed. 

 “We will discuss this later,” she said. “I haven’t decided what I think about your suggestion, but your evushk doesn’t deserve to die over this foolishness.” 

 Foolishness. 

 I knew that a subset of Lutovish society wouldn’t approve of my lifestyle choices, especially the having multiple partners bit, but they would never stop me from living as I liked, just as they wouldn’t show me the depth of their judgment. Was Talira one of the people who thought polyamory and my lack of sexual preferences were unnatural, or did ‘foolishness’ merely apply to the Lokke Vitras making a significant connection? 

 I refused to believe the first option was true. 

 “Understood,” I said. “May we now return to the threat in our midst?” 

 Releasing me, Talira said, “Yes. The Ancients.” 

 Clasping an elbow, she chewed on her lip while her eyes went distant. 

 “Unfortunately, I can’t add more to what you already know,” she said. “When I query for information on them, it returns as-” 

 “Restricted, I know,” I said. “It’s restricted, even to you?” 

 Talira shook her head. 

 “But what’s hidden behind that last security layer isn’t much,” she said, “merely that they were integral in the war with those from beyond the stars. That the first Lokke Vitras and her Favored soldiers worked for them. That they’re not… human.” 

 Both of us shivered at this idea, pretending not to notice it in the other one. 

 “One report mentioned that books about the Ancients didn’t make the transfer from print to digital,” Talira continued. “We might learn more there.” 

 “So… The Library,” I said. “You’re sending me there?” 

 I kept myself blank while Talira considered.  

 Save for those that the high Strata owned, The Library was Lutov’s last bastion of physical books, similar in protection to the Preserve. So far as the average citizen was aware, however, it didn’t exist, and the information it contained was granted through a chain of proxies in each House. Considering The Library’s books had become brittle and easily damaged over the centuries, this precaution made sense in a way, even if it also smacked of knowledge suppression. 

 I’d wanted to visit The Library since I’d learned about it a few years ago, so it didn’t matter that this proposed trip would only involve research, which wasn’t my favorite activity. I would jump on the given opportunity. It would make a nice change after the last few days. 

 Even holding to perfect nonchalance as I was, Talira must see some sign of my eagerness because she gave me an indulgent grin. 

 “Yes, Zae-zae, I’m sending you to The Library,” she said. “You should be receiving its coordinates now.” 

 I’d already opened her message to scan it. The coordinates seemed familiar, but I didn’t bother with going through my mental index for where I’d seen them before. I’d remember once I headed that way. I was more concerned with a question of practicality. 

 “Can I share this information with anyone else?” I asked. 

 “As you see fit, yes. I have people going through the information that you brought with you from the Cerullis facility. Why shouldn’t you do the same on this front?” Talira said. “Please, be careful with who you choose to help, though.” 

 “I will,” I said. 

 I had only one person in mind for the job, but then, I doubted I’d need more than him. 

 “While you’re doing research, I’ll cautiously inform the other Houses of the situation. Hopefully, Cerullis is the only one the Ancients have breached,” Talira said. “I’ll also work on breaking your evushk free of his conditioning. I have a pretty good idea of where to start with that.” 

 I was a rabbit caught in a predator’s gaze. If I did more than breathe, I was afraid of what would happen. 

 Given our situation, I hadn’t thought that Korix would be a priority. Until this crisis had eventually concluded, I’d resigned myself to worrying about him, but apparently, Talira disagreed with my assessment. 

 She eyed me with her lips curled. 

 “We need all hands on deck, grandson,” she said. “Your evushk is my most powerful phansha piece. I need him to wake up, shake off what’s seized him, and join the fight.” 

 “I’m sure he’ll be happy to do that,” I said. 

 “Oh, I know he will, otherwise, I’ll never let him forget how badly he’s fucked this up,” Talira said with a chuckle. “Now, you, Zae. I have one more task for you.” 

 Of course she did. 

 “I’m at your service,” I said. 

 Snorting, Talira coughed into a fist. 

 “If I’ve learned anything during your time as the Lokke Vitras to come, it’s that you serve few people,” she said. “You’ll do as you’re told, but you only serve the people you love with your heart and spark of soul. In other words, you’ll make a difficult heir for me to handle.” 

 I… didn’t know what to say to that. Was it a compliment or an insult? 

 Shaking her head, Talira said, “Your task. The girl you brought with you to the capital? You’re to act as her guardian until we’ve resolved this crisis. Having her with us will put a check on Niklaus. If we’re lucky, it might even have him switching sides. Besides, she seems clever. I may have a use for her before this emergency’s over.” 

 Slowly, I folded one arm in front of me, making a fist around the IV pole. The boil that had sprung to life in my stomach required movement, and I was fighting for it to be anything other than leaping for Talira’s throat. I wasn’t sure why I wanted to attack her, considering I’d had similar ideas about Leski’s usefulness in the House Cerullis facility, but it didn’t change the fact that I was… angry right now. 

 “Please tell me she doesn’t know she’s a hostage,” I said, surprised when it didn’t emerge as a hiss. 

 “No, she doesn’t seem like someone who’d find that idea intimidating,” Talira said. “It’s your job to explain why she’s staying with you.” 

 “Great…” 

 My answering smile was tight. 

 “I’ll handle Leski,” I said. “What about Cerullis? How are we preparing for their attack?” 

 “I have the lower Strata dealing with them,” Talira said. “Honestly, I’m not worried about it. Now that you’ve alerted our House to the threat, Cerullis can’t sneak anything past us.” 

 I didn’t think she understood how desperate those people were, but she was Kolb’s shukusen for a reason. I’d have to trust her judgment. 

 “In that case, is there anything else?” I asked. “Or may I begin my research?” 

 “There isn’t, and you may not,” Talira snapped. “You’ve given me many a near heart attack over the last eleven years, but seeing you tumble out of that shuttle, unable to stay on your feet, was the worst of them, Zae. Go home. Rest. I’ll keep Lutov safe for tonight. In the morning, you can return to saving us all. Oh. And remember to take that Leski girl with you.” 

 Leski, the overly inquisitive woman who would probably keep me up all night with questions. 

 “I will,” I said. 

 “Then…” 

 Breathing out slowly, Talira came forward to wrap me in her arms, careful not to jostle my IV. Staying quiet, she just held me, and I struggled to keep my body loose. 

 Talira was family, and I knew she’d never hurt me, not in a situation like this at least, but she’d sent Korix and me on too many harrowing missions for me to be comfortable in her embrace anymore. When she relented, stepping back, a part of me breathed a sigh of relief. 

 Standing tall, Talira donned the role of shukusen once more. 

 “You’re dismissed, my acting Lokke Vitras,” she said. 

 I blinked. Acting Lokke Vitras? What did that mean-? 

 Talira jerked her head toward the door, and wincing, I shuffled to it. Before leaving, I glanced at an amber capsule with my heart in my throat, and when I continued outside, it wrenched free of my chest to remain in the room left behind. 

 I had my orders. Watch Leski. Rest. Research. I’d get to them in that order, but first, I needed to stop by the hospital so I could have this drip of rapid regeneration drugs removed. I couldn’t imagine what wandering through Xygek with one attached to me would be like.

Chapter 61: Getting Home
I was so tired. 

 While this shuttle sped through the city, the light of the setting sun splashed over me in intervals from between the towers. The warmth of it felt nice, adding to the lulling sensation of riding in a vehicle, and I could barely resist it. 

 This was what happened when I was seriously injured. It was a type of exhaustion that was a hundred times more difficult to ignore than a lack of sleep and a thousand times more annoying. At least I’d had enough practice with the latter to pretend it didn’t exist. Not so with what I was fighting now. 

 One thing kept me awake every time I slid into the edge of dreams, and it was a potent repellant. Leski’s glare bored into my skull no matter how often I shifted positions, all while my danger sense from her wavered in intensity, if not volume. 

 I knew she had questions. Who wouldn’t after the last… two days? Yes, two days. 

 After the time we’d spent together, she must have them, but she was smart enough to keep from asking them here, where the varied people of Xygek surrounded us, or in the room where I’d retrieved her. I wondered if she’d considered isolating the room’s recorders so she could force an interrogation from me before we’d left. I was tired enough that I might have let her do it. 

 While the shuttle approached a stop on the middle tiers, I stood, hearing a gasp behind me, and without needing to look, I knew Leski’s eyes were bulging. I did, however, use the vehicle’s recorders to make sure that she followed me. 

 As we waded through the evening traffic of low Strata heading home, Leski drew in on herself, and I couldn’t tell if her discomfort came from the type of people around us or their vast number. Stratus discrimination was extraordinarily rare across Lutov, but it did exist, mostly among high Strata who isolated themselves from greater society. I didn’t know how often Niklaus kept his daughter on his estate, so she might fit into those categories. On the other hand, if she wasn’t in the city much, she might just find the crowds unnerving. 

 Regardless, I was grateful for her unease. It forced me to take a slower pace, something I couldn’t typically afford to do here. Even still, I desperately needed it. 

 As I approached the apartment, I donned a cheery smile, forcing a spring into steps that wanted to drag. Occasionally, I waved at people, getting mostly cautious nods in return. Some of them gave me enthusiastic greetings, though, and a few even called out. 

 “Evening, Clarx!” 

 Spinning around, I walked backward while grinning at the woman who’d just spoken. 

 “A good evening to you too, Raielyn.” 

 I’d brought Raielyn in five years ago during House Vaessa’s smuggling incident, but despite that, she good-naturedly stuck her tongue out at me before going about her business. The decisions she’d made in Ibis had gotten her stripped of House, but because I’d spoken for them, the shukusenth had allowed her and her companions to stay in Xygek rather than getting sent to the Eastern Reaches. After she’d been quartered near Korix’s apartment, we’d become friendly, to a point, and she’d even consulted with me about how to form a committee that would advocate for the children of Ibis’ rights. 

 I had similar stories for many of this tier’s residents. The Lokke Vitras was tasked with safeguarding Lutov, all of Lutov. By keeping a finger on the pulse of the homeland’s most lowly citizens, I hoped to improve their lives. If I helped them, ensuring that their needs and wants were met, I kept myself from getting a mission, one that would unleash more trouble on these people. 

 I only wanted to make their lives easier. Where I could, of course. 

 After crossing a plasma bridge to a residential tower, foot traffic dropped to nothing, and Leski loosened her body from its hunched state, glancing about with interest. There wasn’t much to look at: a couple of trees, a small patch of greenery, and a narrow walkway with air traffic speeding beside it. One door lay on this side of the building, but another, the one for the hangar, engulfed the other half of it, carefully camouflaged to look like a continuation of the tower’s wall. 

 As we approached, I slowed down, furrowing my brow. Since I’d last been here, Korix had added new security processes to guard the apartment, and I was having trouble with them. Even given my terrible process cracking skills, though, I defeated them quickly enough that Leski didn’t notice how much I’d been struggling. I didn’t think. 

 When we reached the door, it slid open, and I automatically raised my hand, catching a grenade before the string attached to it could pull its pin. Beside me, Leski stumbled backward with a gasp, and raising an eyebrow, I watched her calm down while freeing the grenade. 

 “It releases suppression gas,” I said, lifting the weapon. “Why would we demolish a part of our home when a non-destructive option would work just as well?” 

 I threw the grenade, underhanded, at her, and after making a precise catch, she froze. Laughing at the expression on her face, I beckoned her forward. 

 “Come inside.” 

 While she decided whether to do as I’d asked, I cleared the entryway of other traps. At some point, I’d have to decide which of them to use while a guest was staying here, but making that choice wouldn’t be difficult. Neither would securing the rest of the apartment for Leski now. 

 Or it wouldn’t be difficult if the effects of rapid regeneration drugs didn’t have me continually running into walls. I was lucky that I’d kept it together until we’d reached the apartment. By the time I’d finished with my task, the world was swaying, and I stumbled like a drunkard toward the kitchen. 

 Leski was there, having come inside not long ago. Damn, she’d tripped so many alarms while wandering around the apartment, but I supposed I should have expected that. 

 When I crashed into the kitchen, slamming my weight on a counter, she was running a finger across the stove with a frown, but she said nothing as I retrieved a glass, filling it with water. 

 “I’d offer you a drink, but evushk doesn’t allow alcohol in his home. Mother Time, I could use a whiskey sour,” I said. “Feel free to have as much water as you like, though.” 

 Turning toward the table, I winced on spying the dog bed in the corner. Ace. Damn, what a heart twinge that gave me. Best not to stay here. 

 “Come with me,” I said. 

 Grazing my fingers along a wall, I led the way, checking my messages as I did. The flood I’d half-feared to find didn’t appear, which meant Talira must have buried how Cerullis had glassed Korix’s estate, thank Mother Time. My family wouldn’t have worried about me since then. 

 Well. Feena might have. I had two messages from her. 

 Zae, Ace just showed up at my apartment, the first one read. Are you ok? 

 The second one had come in a few hours after that one. 

 Answer my message, little brother, it read. I swear to Mother Time, if you don’t have an excellent explanation for what’s going on, I’ll flay you alive myself. 

 I restrained my chuckle at this, even if I couldn’t stop my smile. That was my sister all right. 

 I’m fine. Ran into some trouble but I’m dealing with it, I wrote back. Will you hold onto Ace for a couple of days? I’d be ever grateful. 

 Then, I turned to the message that I should have sent when leaving House Kolb’s headquarters. Hell, if fatigue wasn’t tripping me up. Talira had been right to send me home. 

 Phen, if you have time, I could use your help with something, I wrote. Meet me at the attached coordinates tomorrow morning, and I’ll explain. 

 Did I have any other pressing tasks to finish before tomorrow? I was probably forgetting something, but if I was, I didn’t have the brainpower to remember it right now. 

 Entering the apartment’s sitting room, I wove to my usual chair in the corner, ignoring the one beside it. Instead, I focused on the view outside of a windowed wall, one that surrounded a third of the room. With the sun having finished its descent since our arrival, city lights spilled around the curtains that hung at even intervals along its length.  

 A holodrama plate took up most of the room’s floor. Korix wasn’t fond of holodramas, but we did have a few that we watched together. Several other chairs and one sofa surrounded the plate, there for when Talira or other shukusenth visited us in person. 

 A few lighting fixtures, bundles of colored glass surrounding free-floating orbs, hung from the ceiling, but besides these decorations, this room followed the stark style of Korix’s estate. Or it had before the place had been destroyed. 

 As I sank into the chair’s cushioning, I started a playlist. The classical music of Kyllen, a sadly singing composition of strings and brass, opened the set. More traditional pieces would follow it, those attributed to Maliva and Calrix, but this song was my favorite. Many had been the evening when I’d listened to it on repeat after an especially difficult mission. The melancholy that brimmed from its minor key had never failed to soothe the ache in my spark of a soul. 

 When Leski made to sit in the chair beside me, I shot an arm out over it. 

 “No,” I said. “I’ll get you another one.” 

 Hauling myself out of newly discovered relaxation, I grabbed a chair, dragging it to face mine with difficulty. I collapsed when I sat, which had the back of my chair slapping the wall, while Leski sank into her seat. She held herself perfectly still there, gripping her knees while keeping her shoulders drawn together. 

 Watching her, I wondered how long it would take for her to get started. Weighing that against the difficulty I was having with keeping my eyelids from drooping, I pulled my legs up under me, preparing another artificial adrenaline burst. I’d rather not use a second one, but if needed, I’d trigger the command for it. 

 Folding my hands in my lap, I said, “You have questions?” 

 With a nod, Leski swallowed. 

 “I requested an identity check on you while waiting in Kolb’s headquarters,” she said. “From what I saw, you should be dead.” 

 Smirking, I said, “That wasn’t a question.” 

 Leski shook her head slowly, as if dragging it through sap. 

 “You have no House. You’ve somehow pissed shukusen Alezand off enough that he wants you dead. You fought the Lokke Vitras and not only survived that but made a good showing during it. You know him, call him evushk. Teacher,” she said. “Who are you, Zaeden?” 

 Sighing, I leaned back into leather. 

 “You want to start there?” I asked. “Not with why I showed up on your doorstep in the first place or what had made me seek refuge there?” 

 Leski stiffened her fingers, digging them into her skin. 

 “Who. are. you?” she hissed. 

 “Fine,” I said. 

 Maybe this interrogation would be shorter than I’d expected. That could be good, getting me into bed much sooner than I’d thought but… but… 

 Easing forward, I dropped my feet to the floor before leaning my elbows on my thighs. 

 “Leski. You have an amazing mind,” I said. “Don’t you already know the answer to your question?” 

 A shiver cascaded over her. 

 “I need to hear you say it,” she said. 

 Hiding my face in my hands, I rubbed my eyes. I hadn’t wanted her to know this. I’d liked being a simple mystery to her because once she learned this truth, she’d turn reverent or fearful. When people had found out about me in the past, there had never been anything in between. No one besides Korix and my family saw me behind what I was. 

 “Please,” I said. “I don’t-” 

 This was stupid. I should just say it, get it out. 

 “I’m-” 

 “Zaeden. You’re Zaeden.” 

 Even exhausted as I was, the jolt of my name on her tongue jerked my head out of my hands, and my breathing went shallow. Tensed as hell, Leski gave me a crooked smile. 

 “No matter what else you are, the core of you is Zaeden, a man I’ve come to know well over the last two days,” she said. “I rather like him.” 

 Her smile twitched while she flexed her fingers. 

 “All I’m asking is to know more about you,” she continued. “If you can tell me. If you want to share.” 

 I… Mother Time, she… 

 She was stunning. How had I not seen it? She was what I needed, a dose of everyone I was called to protect. And she wanted to see me, all of me. So, that was what I gave her. 

 “I’m a murderer. I’ve killed mothers, sons, and husbands. I put a bolt through the head of a man I loved. I am stained beyond redemption,” I said, “but I’ve saved lives too, every chance I get. I’ve kept the homeland safe so the average citizen can sleep without the nightmares that plague me. 

 “I am the Lokke Vitras to come, set to replace him when he deems me ready. Judge me as you will.”  

 And I handed the floor to her, but she looked… confused, which confused me in turn. There was no adoration or terror in her so… where was the disgust that I should see in their place? 

 “Why would I judge-?” she said, as if to herself. 

 With her face setting into hard lines, she glared at me. That was more what I’d expected. 

 “Once this is over, I’ll never see you again, will I?” she asked. 

 Deflating, I shrugged. 

 “Probably not.” 

 It had been nice while it had lasted. 

 “Then, I hope you’ll forgive me,” Leski said. “I know I don’t fit your tastes. I know this is wrong, but I have to-” 

 She bit her lip while I frowned. Fit… my tastes? What did that have to do with-? 

 Jumping to her feet, Leski leapt on top of me, pinning my legs while digging her elbows into my shoulders. She was attacking me? That was…  

 Unfortunately, this situation wasn’t new to me, even if it was unexpected now. How did I get her off of me without hurting-? 

 Pressing herself against me, Leski ducked, crashing her lips onto mine so hard that my chair rocked, and I froze. Didn’t fit my tastes. Her kissing me.  

 Oh.

Chapter 62: That Took an Unexpected Turn
I barely stopped myself from laughing into Leski’s mouth. How had I gotten myself into such a strange situation? Flirt that I was, people usually knew how flexible I was in my preferences and tastes within an hour or so. Under normal circumstances, Leski would never have questioned whether I’d be opposed to her kissing me. 

 Was I any better, though? Seeing her tension as fear. Denying my own attraction to her, even as it had grown. Not realizing that she returned it. When was the last time that had happened? I blamed horrid circumstances and a fatigue-dulled mind for my complete moron of a moment. 

 But… but she was kissing me. I should probably- 

 Right as I was prepared to enjoy that kiss, Leski pulled away, climbing off of me with her chin tucked to her chest, and I snatched her wrist before she could get any further away. 

 “Where do you think you’re going?” I said. “You wouldn’t do something like that, just to leave me wanting more, would you? 

 Her wide eyes met mine. 

 “You’re not…?” Leski asked. 

 “Gay?” 

 I could see where she might have gotten that idea but… 

 “No. Well, yes, but also no. I-” 

 Clicking my tongue, I pulled her closer, resting my hands on her hips when she stopped in between my knees. 

 “I’ve never cared about gender or what parts a person has. I’m attracted to the person, although good looks certainly help,” I said. “All I want is to make them happy in every way possible. So.” 

 It took far too much effort to get to my feet, but I managed it, tilting Leski’s face toward me once I was there. I took a moment to simply enjoy the sight of her before lowering myself to her level.  

 With our lips a breath from touching, I asked, “Leski, unHoused. Am I right in thinking that you want me?” 

 After blinking rapidly for several seconds, Leski almost spoke before pausing. 

 “What about-?” she started before biting her lip. 

 She was holding something back. What was the matter? Did something about this feel wrong to her? Had I upset her or… Mother Time forbid, had I been wrong about what she was looking for? 

 I didn’t know why she was hesitating, but whatever had caused that reaction, it was a sign to back off. With a sigh, I started to pull away, but Leski placed a hand on the back of my head. 

 “It doesn’t matter,” she said. 

 Rising to her toes, she crossed the distance to me. I didn’t know why it surprised me when her lips met mine. Perhaps it was because I hadn’t been able to read her since… since I’d met her, actually. She baffled me. 

 As if aware that my thoughts were distracting me, Leski pressed her face into mine while her hold on my head turned firm, and I was reminded of similar things I’d done to Korix when he wouldn’t respond to me. Shit. I was turning into him. 

 With a hand on the small of her back, I pulled Leski to me, but before my snarled thoughts could release me to an instinctual dance, she drew back, placing a hand on my chest. Panting slightly, she licked her lips and met my eyes. 

 “I want you, Zaeden. I really, really do. I’ve been wanting to try all of… this—” 

 She waved an unsteady hand up and down my body. 

 “—since you kept up with me at the Founder’s Day Ball.” 

 Lifting an eyebrow, I drawled, “But…? 

 Huffing, Leski flipped a strand of hair out of her eyes. 

 “But you left a hospital just a few hours ago!” she said. “I don’t want to mess with your recovery.” 

 Mess… with… my recovery. I didn’t understand. Yes, I was still sore from my fight with Korix, but what did that have to do with anything? I’d dealt with worse than this while participating in far more vigorous activities than sex before. 

 Leski must have seen the confusion on my face. Gently, she prodded the bandage still covering my chest, below my ribs, and I was both tired and knocked off-balance enough to hiss, hunching away from her fingers. 

 When she gave me a significant glance, I hesitantly smiled at her. 

 “You shouldn’t worry about that. I can handle it,” I said. “Besides, I was about to trigger an adrenaline burst. That should help with burying the-” 

 Leski jerked away from me, although she still stayed close. 

 “You were planning on using an adrenaline burst for sex?” she shouted. 

 Wincing, I rubbed my ear. 

 “Originally, it was for if your questioning ran long, but… yes, if things continued the way they were going, I would have triggered it,” I said. “It’s fine. I’ve only used two today.” 

 “Two? What the-? Are you-?” Leski said before clutching her head with one hand and flinging the other toward me. “Do you want to die? Adrenaline bursts are dangerous!” 

 …Why was she getting so upset about this? People used adrenaline bursts all the time. 

 “They’re only dangerous if used excessively. I never go over five in twenty-four hours and definitely never sustain them for longer than the recommended time,” I said with a shrug. “They help on missions that require lengthy stakeouts.” 

 Gasping, Leski mouthed ‘five’ a few times before shaking herself. 

 “Well, ok. I understand what you’re trying to say,” she said, “but did you think about what I might want when it comes to… this?” 

 She waved between us. 

 “I want you, yes, but I also want you to enjoy yourself just as much as I intend to. How can you do that if you’re fighting off exhaustion and pain from the absolute thrashing you got today? I just… no, Zaeden. I won’t do that to you, not even if you’re ok with it.” 

 She’d… made a good point. I hadn’t thought about whether my physical condition might affect her in a negative way. It was an interesting thought. I’d have to consider it and whether I should apply the idea to other, similar situations.  

 But in the meantime… 

 As my lips slowly rose into a smirk, I crossed my arms. 

 “So, you’re saying you want to wait until I’m feeling better, which is so nice of you,” I said. “Does that mean I get to practice my seduction techniques on you until then? That could be… fun.” 

 Choking, Leski started turning a bit red before I relaxed with a soft laugh. 

 “I wouldn’t be that mean,” I said. “I appreciate how considerate you’re being, truly. And if you want me to heal, I’d love to get started on that as soon as possible. So, let’s try something else, yes? I’d like to take a shower before bed, get all this filth off. Would you help me with that? Not in a sexual way. More, I don’t know if I can finish the task without falling asleep.” 

 At that, Leski turned even more red, swallowing hard, but she soon nodded. 

 “I think that’s a good idea,” she said. 

 Gently, I took her hand, raising it so I could kiss her knuckles before reversing my grip to clutch it tight. 

 “Thank you,” I said. 

 I didn’t wait for her to reply, leading the way to a washroom instead. Throughout the length of my shower, Leski was quiet, leaning against the vanity’s counter while she traced my every move through the glass between us. 

 I didn’t know what to do with that. It felt nice, sure—since when had I found another person’s avid attention anything but gratifying?—but as had become a theme with Leski, I didn’t know what she was thinking. I tried not to focus too hard on that, letting myself believe that only desire had her occasionally sucking in a gasp. 

 Soon enough, I was done and clean, and Mother Time, I’d needed that. It felt like I’d finally released today’s stress, if only a little.  

 Again, Leski made no comment while I got dressed and showed her to a spare bedroom, but after glancing inside, she hugged herself. 

 “Can I… sleep with you?” she asked. “Please.” 

 “Um.” 

 The idea of granting that request made me a little wary. I hadn’t determined what had disrupted my sleeping pattern at Niklaus’ estate, although I had my theories, and unknowns like that bothered me. 

 Tonight, however, I’d need to sleep long and deep. Plus, I had nothing time-sensitive facing me in the morning, merely a day of research. If I overslept, it wouldn’t hurt anything, and I could always set an alarm to make sure I woke up at a reasonable hour. 

 “Why not?” I said. 

 Once we were in my room, Leski hopped onto my bed, and I started my nightly routine. I could feel her stare burning into my back, but I wouldn’t let it stop me from finishing my task. If I didn’t make myself secure before bed, the only way I’d sleep was if I started a dream sequence, and I’d rather not do that. 

 “Are those traps?” Leski asked when I reached the door. 

 “Among other safety measures,” I said. “Are you ready for bed?” 

 With her brow furrowing, Leski hesitantly nodded, and I returned to what I’d been doing. 

 “Good. The door’s alarmed for the night, so if you need to leave the room, wake me up,” I said. “I’ll let you out.” 

 Finished, I shuffled to bed with a yawn and slipped beneath the sheets. Everything was catching up with me, making a hard crash imminent. When my head hit the pillow, I almost tripped into sleep’s embrace, but Leski shifted beside me. 

 “You truly are the Lokke Vitras to come,” she said. 

 “That’s right,” I said, batting a swell of irritation down. “Get comfortable, please.” 

 Turning off the lights, I huddled beneath the sheets, thinking that the day was finally over, but Leski slid to my back, pressing herself against me, and I stiffened. Draping an arm around my waist, she walked her fingers over my every recent site of injury before slumping. Hugging me to her, she breathed me in. 

 “Goodnight, Zae,” she said into my back. 

 And I was frozen. What did I do? Could I enter sleep, an already vulnerable state, in such a weakened position? 

 She shifted against me, and for some reason, that reminded me of my unHoused days, when I’d slept like this more often than not. 

 Nothing had ever hurt me then, and I remembered how nice having someone against me throughout the night had felt. 

 It took a minute with every instinct screaming denial, but I relaxed, backing into Leski. She made a contented noise, and I closed my eyes.

Chapter 63: Aren't Coincidences Fun?
When my alarm dragged me to wakefulness, I groggily silenced it, struggling to remember where I was or why someone’s arm was hanging over me.  

 Someone’s arm… 

 With a sharp inhale, I stopped myself from any sudden movement, and all the while, every glow-infused moment from last night trickled into my brain. That wasn’t a stranger pressed against my back. It was Leski. 

 Holy hell, I had no memory of falling asleep last night. I’d closed my eyes and entered dreamland, which had never happened to me before, but… I rather liked it. 

 As noiselessly as I could, I rolled toward Leski, biting my lip to keep from laughing once I’d faced her. Her mouth was half-open with a wet spot on the pillow beneath it, and an unguarded look had taken hold of her face. Even with this, a furious kernel of warmth burned in my chest at the sight of her, and biting my lip, I brushed an errant strand of hair behind her ear. 

 What were we now? Partners? We weren’t well enough acquainted to call each other that, I didn’t think, but I wanted to know her more.  

 So, were we dating? Saying that felt strange when I was supposed to act as her guardian now. Although… in essence, that simply meant I was keeping an eye on her and nothing more. 

 I’d consider the question as the day progressed. For now, however, I had somewhere to be, somewhere I’d dreamed of visiting for years. 

 When I rolled out of bed, my body reminded me of how much it hated me. Wincing, I pressed a hand to my side, even as I caught my woozy stumble on the nightstand. 

 Fuck rapid regeneration drugs. Fuck the circumstances that had made Korix hurt me this badly. 

 Taking a shaky breath, I straightened, doing my best not to stumble as I shuffled out of my room. After a quick shower, I was out the door, leaving a note for Leski about where I’d be and when I expected to be back. 

 It was early enough that Xygek’s walkways weren’t too crowded, so I didn’t use one of Korix’s skycruisers for the trip, even if that would have been better for the healing process. When in the city, I’d always enjoyed using public transportation over a private vehicle. It was slower but much less isolating. The high Stratus kid in me would always see visiting the city as a chance to mingle with the diverse people of Lutov. 

 On my long shuttle ride, I checked whether Pheniks had replied to my message from last night. I found nothing, but that was typical for him. He had trouble with replying to messages, especially when he needed to confirm a meeting. 

 Feena’s silence was more concerning. For a moment, I toyed with the idea that shukusen Alezand or a House Cerullis member had gone after my sister. Should I check on her? 

 No. Feena was more than capable of handling herself. She didn’t need my concern. 

 After disembarking from the shuttle, I wandered to a quaint café a few platforms over. Stepping inside, I scanned tables until I found Pheniks and chuckled under my breath. 

 All of him was jittery, including his foot, jumping beneath the table, and his fork, tapping on its surface. Occasionally, he waved at nothing, probably working through his array. 

 I was glad he’d come. 

 When I slid into the chair opposite him, a menu flashed into my array, and I made my selections from it, smirking at my brother’s glower. 

 “It’s good to see you, Phen,” I said. “Have you already eaten?” 

 “I have. An hour ago,” Pheniks snapped. “Why am I here? This better not be a prank.” 

 Wincing, I said, “Sorry. I didn’t mean to make you wait. I was sleeping off some potent RRDs.” 

 Closing the menu, I folded my hands on the table, cocking my head at my brother’s sudden stillness. 

 “Are you ok?” he asked. 

 Oh. Duh. 

 “I am now,” I said with a crooked grin. 

 “Good, I suppose,” he said. “Mind telling me why I’m here? I hope it’s something quick. I need to get back to headquarters. Someone’s sure to have noticed my absence by now.” 

 “Don’t worry about that. Our grandmother will smooth things over with Arion,” I said. “This won’t affect your bid for Zan’s First Stratus position. In fact, it might help you.” 

 Pheniks’ frantic motion slowed down a little. 

 “How so?” he asked. 

 “Hang on. Let me have a bite first,” I said. 

 A drone floated my breakfast in front of me, and I happily hummed as I spooned scrambled eggs into my mouth, followed by a sip of bitter caf. Lowering the mug to the table, I cracked my knuckles. 

 “Ok. Short answer to your question? I need your help. The long answer requires an explanation,” I said. “Do you remember how something interrupted your House naming ceremony years ago? Yeah, that was my fault. Sorry.” 

 I continued with the story, censoring it when required and pausing for brief food breaks. I knew I had Pheniks hooked when he leaned on the table with an avid gleam in his eyes, but I didn’t stop once he was mine. He’d need every detail if he was to help. The tale took close to an hour to complete, and when I fell silent, Pheniks turned inward. 

 “Intelligent beings other than humans on our planet,” he said to himself. 

 I let him process for a few minutes before shifting. 

 “Will you help me?” I quietly asked. 

 Jerking free of his thoughts, Pheniks gave me a funny look. 

 “Zae, I’d have helped if you’d needed me to—I don’t know—fight some rebels or something, and you know how much I hate fighting. Why wouldn’t I help with this?” he said. “I had to make sure that your request wouldn’t hurt my House first.” 

 I… hadn’t considered the fact that my brother was a member of Zan when contacting him. It had never crossed my mind. 

 “I wouldn’t ask you to betray your House,” I said. “I’m only interested in the safety of Lutov as a whole.” 

 The individual Houses, including Kolb, could go fuck themselves. 

 Shrugging, Pheniks said, “I didn’t think you would, but for years, we’ve had limited contact. I know it’s the best you can do, but… I had to be safe, ok?” 

 “Fair enough,” I said. “Thanks for coming when I needed you.” 

 “No problem.” 

 Grinning, Pheniks lunged forward to slap the tabletop. 

 “So. The Library,” he said. “Where is it?” 

 “I don’t know,” I said, motioning for the nearby drones to start their cleanup, “but I have directions to it, so let’s find out together, shall we?” 

 We left the café at a run, but as we came closer to the site of my provided coordinates, I slowed down. Pheniks threw repeated, concerned glances at me, and the jostling of the people around us got steadily rougher, but when I saw where my array was taking me, I stopped short while my mouth went dry. I knew why these coordinates had seemed familiar yesterday. 

 “Is something the matter?” Pheniks asked. 

 “No,” I faintly said. “I haven’t been here in a while, is all.” 

 Shoving through the crowd, I entered the bar in front of us with my guts clenching on themselves. As the door slid shut behind us, the patrons inside stared, but I hardly noticed, focusing my attention on a table near the back. I did note when Pheniks started shifting in place, though. In answer to it, I met the calculating gazes facing us and said. 

 “He’s with me.” 

 Our entrance together should have made that obvious, but these weren’t the type of people who made assumptions. 

 Quiet as a mouse, Pheniks followed me with his shoulders nearly touching his ears. When I stopped at the bar, a tumbler slid down it toward me. A whiskey sour. She’d remembered. 

 “Hello, Rane,” I said. 

 The hollowness of my voice dragged Pheniks out of his nervous huddle while a frown deepened on his face. 

 “Hello, Zaeden.” 

 Rane looked good, not that I should have expected anything less. Five years might have come and gone since I’d last visited her establishment, but a span like that was nothing in Lutov. 

 Placing a drink on the bar top, she glanced significantly at the one I was holding, and I lifted it with numb fingers. 

 “To all those lost,” Rane belted out. 

 In the bar’s quiet, the toast had been deafening, and at it, glasses clinked behind me while voices repeated her words. I mirrored the rate of Rane’s lifted tumbler to her mouth, taking a sip from mine before resting it on the bar top’s tile. 

 “I’m sorry about Fyester,” she said. 

 Sucking in a breath, I looked away while blinking at the sudden burn in my eyes. How did she know about that? Also, would the reminder of him always hurt this badly? 

 “So emotive for someone in your position. Why aren’t you in mission mode?” 

 Whipping my head to Rane, I narrowed my eyes at her. Did she know? 

 “Should I be right now?” I asked. 

 Raising an eyebrow, Rane said, “Shouldn’t you always be?” 

 “My opinion on that should be obvious,” I said. “Are you my contact? 

 If she knew who I was, I didn’t want to draw attention to it or examine what that meant for our previous interactions. I couldn’t let her distract me, especially not with a debate over how the Lokke Vitras or their replacement should behave. 

 Rane crossed her arms. 

 “Contact for what?” she asked. 

 Why was she being difficult with this? I didn’t see the point. 

 Sighing, I said, “You know what. Don’t make me speak it out loud, in front of all these people.” 

 I’d rather not kill anyone today, and I got the feeling that the secrecy of The Library’s location played a part in keeping Lutov safe. Given that, I didn’t want to gamble on the shukusenth’s reaction to people overhearing this conversation. 

 …Maybe they’d just have the memory of it erased from those people’s arrays. Yes, that seemed much more likely, if still unideal. Hell, I needed to stop jumping to the worst conclusions about things. 

 “What about him?” 

 Rane jerked her head toward Pheniks, who was watching our conversation with curiosity. 

 “He’s here to help me,” I said. “Do you have a problem with that?” 

 With a half-smile, Rane shook her head. 

 “Talira shared the situation. I know you have special dispensation to share this secret as you see fit,” she said. “All right. Follow me.” 

 She led us deeper into the bar, toward where I’d gotten thoroughly drunk in years past. As we passed the table that I’d once claimed in this place, I didn’t pause, merely brushing my fingers over it while we moved along. If the ghosts of two men laughed on the other side of it, I didn’t notice. 

 When Rane turned into a supply closet, I restrained a nervous chuckle, relieved that she hadn’t taken us to her office. If I’d missed a secret entrance to a hidden library in that room, I’d never have forgiven myself, considering how much time I’d spent there. 

 In the back of the closet, Rane approached a plastered wall without slowing down, but rather than bouncing off of it as I’d expected, she strode thought it. A hologram? 

 As I followed, encountering no resistance as well, I nodded. A hologram. 

 Beyond this, our surroundings looked more like the entrance to a hidden secret. A short, dark entryway ended in a heavy door with bolts across it. Rane waved toward this, probably exchanging her designator with it, and with a clunk, it made the way clear for us. Stepping to the side, she waved us into a chamber with a single item in it. 

 “A beacon?” Pheniks said, circling said item. “Is The Library not in Xygek?” 

 With a smirk, Rane said, “Smart man.” 

 Striding to us, she spread her fingers, hovering them over the beacon’s ring. 

 “A warning. When you touch this, it will take you to a spot outside of the place you seek,” she said. “Since the beacons here and there exist in a closed loop, you won’t stop at the Terminal, which can be disorienting if you don’t expect it.” 

 “I can imagine,” I said. “Are you not joining us?” 

 Rane slapped a hand to her mouth, barely covering a tittering laugh. 

 “I may be this place’s guardian, but that doesn’t mean I enjoy visiting it,” she said. “Spend a couple hundred years shackled to a single location and you lose interest in it, no matter how fascinating it might be.” 

 With that, she hurried to leave us, although she paused by the door. 

 “Stay as long as you like, but I’d recommend that you keep track of the time. Remember, you can always return here,” she said. “When you’re finished for the day, use the beacon on the other side to come home.” 

 “Thank you, Rane,” I said. 

 Dipping her head to me, she said, “Of course.” 

 In a dozen heartbeats, Pheniks and I were alone, grinning at each other, if for different reasons. I couldn’t wait for a wealth of bound books to surround me, and Pheniks would soon have access to all the information he could ever want. I didn’t know about him, but thinking about this had giddiness bubbling inside of me, pushing everything I’d incurred while in the bar to the side. 

 “You ready?” I asked. 

 He nodded, and we touched the beacon’s ring.

Chapter 64: Research: A Necessary Part of the Job
When I could think again, I frantically patted my body down while a buzz muffled my hearing. I had no memory of the trip here, which was strange. The ringing in my ears lifted enough for me to hear Pheniks coughing. Once I’d found him, I stumbled to rub his back. 

 Damn, this disorientation wasn’t helping with the dizziness that had afflicted me all morning, making the world spin fast enough to upset my stomach. I barely kept my gorge down for the heartbeats it took for my view to stabilize. 

 “That was worse than normal,” Pheniks gasped as he straightened. 

 “You don’t say,” I said. 

 I was only half-listening to him. As soon as I’d fought through my dazed state, I’d started scanning our surroundings, and I was… lost. 

 Really fucking lost. Where were we? 

 The beacon sat on a platform of limestone blocks, one that narrowed into a path toward a structure in the distance. To either side of this, white sand stretched until it hit a shimmering, translucent wall, much like the barriers wrapped around Xygek’s towers. Beyond that barrier lay murky darkness. Some light existed, enough to outline vague shapes, but it wasn’t enough to make out their details. That’s what arrays were for, though. 

 After mine had made some adjustments, I could distinguish the floating blobs as fish and waving ripples as plant life, and after calling up a map, I clicked my tongue. We were at the bottom of Lake Voxmore. 

 “Holy fucking shit, Zae,” Pheniks said. 

 I’d meant to make a snarky joke, hoping to distract myself from how much water surrounded us, but then, I looked where his eyes were pointed: toward the structure. When I viewed it with my enhanced sight, I couldn’t help but join my brother in his awe. 

 Without a word, the two of us moved toward it, and what had seemed like a long hike from the platform passed in no time. When we stopped with our heads tilted back, I was gaping, just like Pheniks, and almost beneath my notice, I reached for my little brother’s hand, squeezing it like I had when we were kids. 

 “Zae…” he said. “Is that…?” 

 “I think so,” I said. 

 The building in front of us was all smooth, curved lines with neon panels traced along every edge. These graceful lines looped and whirled until they grazed the barrier above, convoluting to the point that they made the eye ache. Even so, it was a sight to behold, fluidity incarnate. 

 Until it wasn’t. 

 A shimmer ran over the structure while different images fought to superimpose each other. Two buildings, opposite in nature, occupied the same space, but when that struggle resolved, one defeated the other, and we were left with an obsidian tower that had spikes jutting from it. After a few seconds, it blurred and once more settled into something else. 

 Throughout our stunned glide to it, the structure had repeated this pattern, and not once had the same building appeared twice. Not once had what we’d seen matched Lutovish architecture in the slightest. 

 It was something I’d only read about in stories: a building made by those from beyond the stars. 

 “Holy fucking shit,” Pheniks repeated. 

 I thoroughly agreed with him this time, though. Any alien artifacts found on this side of the Tainted Land’s demarcation line went to Houses Zan or Cerullis for study before subsequent slagging. Nothing we’d found to date, however, matched this. 

 “How do we get inside?” I asked. 

 Glancing askance at me, Pheniks snatched his hand out of mine, rubbing it. 

 “Do we still want to go inside?” he asked. 

 No. I would much rather run, screaming, back to Rane, but Talira had sincerely believed that I’d find useful information about the Ancients here. If I learned something we could use against them, not only would I potentially save hundreds of lives, but I might get Korix out of stasis sooner. 

 Days ago, I’d told him that I’d step in front of an energy bolt to save his life. Could I brave something that set my mind shrieking if it would have the same result? 

 “Want has no bearing,” I said. “I have to try, but I don’t expect you to do the same, Phen. I won’t think any less of you if you decide to go home.” 

 “Damnit, now I can’t leave,” Pheniks said before squaring his shoulders. “Ok. Any ideas, or are we sprinting headlong at it?” 

 “Mm.” 

 Squinting, I watched the building once more shift before pointing ahead. 

 “Maybe that?” I asked. 

 Through each of the building’s changes, only one thing had stayed the same. At its base, an angled hatch, opal in color, persisted, always blending into the structure around it. 

 “Of course. For this to deserve the name The Library, it would need access to every possible source of information, right?” Pheniks said. “This building and its planar cousins would need an anchor point if they were to stabilize in our reality.” 

 “Ah. Yeah, that makes sense.” 

 When Pheniks whipped his head toward me, I rolled my eyes. 

 “What? I did almost as well as you in rotations with Houses Zan and Cerullis, remember? I don’t understand the sciences as naturally as you do, though. Over the last eleven years, keeping up with advances in those fields has been a pain,” I said. “Plus, understanding you and your random leaps of logic has gotten a lot easier since we were kids.” 

 Huffing, Pheniks said under his breath, “My genius of a brother.” 

 He started for the hatch, and shaking my head, I hurried after him. 

 When we reached it, we glanced at one another before taking hold of its handles, one apiece. On contact, we didn’t explode into chunks or turn into gibbering morons, so I yanked on my hatch door while Pheniks did the same, and we entered The Library. 

 I could swear that the outside of this place couldn’t contain everything we found inside, but there it was, rows upon rows of bookshelves, stretching so far away from us that I couldn’t see the opposite wall. In front of me, a wrought-iron staircase reached for the heavens and the earth’s core, and while I couldn’t see what lay beneath my feet, the balconies above us were visible, ringing the walls until they faded into shadows. 

 Every ten stories or so, a mirage-like arch of unknown purpose stood out from the shelved books around it while nearby portions of the balconies extended into the open air. Light orbs hung like stars throughout the space overhead, dipping to a spot just above the shelves on our level. At the end of each row, arrows and numbers indicated different subjects’ locations, and a pedestal, just inside the entrance, held a monitor, one that presumably explained how the numbering system worked. 

 Observing this vast repository of knowledge, I was dwarfed by the splendor of it, of course, but something else also squeezed my throat closed, shaking a word out of me. 

 “Shit.” 

 How were we supposed to find anything specific in this mountain of information? 

 Pheniks didn’t seem to have heard me, tapping on his lips with narrowed eyes. 

 Turning to me, he asked, “A pocket dimension, do you think?” 

 And I burst into laughter. If anyone could make the connections needed to pull an answer out of this mess, it was my brother. 

 “Where do we start?” I asked, ignoring his question. 

 “Lutov’s founding?” he said. “Maybe we can find something about the research Cerullis’ Founder did on the Ancients. You mentioned Niklaus talking about that, right?” 

 “You think Asher Cerullis found a way to neutralize the Ancients?” I asked. 

 If only it could be that easy. 

 “Doubtful,” Pheniks said, as if agreeing with me, “but to research a test subject like the Ancients, you have to gather information about it first. So, his experiments and therefore, Lutov’s Founding seem like a good place to start, yes?” 

 I shrugged. 

 “Fair enough.” 

 Neither of us suggested splitting up. Once we located the right shelves, we headed for either end of that row and got to work. I measured how much time had passed by the number of books I’d skimmed. With my array highlighting anything of note, I finished about three of them in an hour, depending on their length. 

 Pheniks and I moved through row after row, always meeting in the middle with a headshake. It was infuriating. I glanced through so many books that I’d never heard of before, and in them all, I encountered passing references to Asher Cerullis maybe a dozen times. Not once did I find a reference to the Ancients. 

 I knew they were real. My occasional stumbles into the shelves served as a testament to the wounds that their Favored had laid open on me, or at least, I thought Korix had hurt me at their bidding. He could have been working on his own. 

 Shaking my head, I made a face. What was I doing? I knew what I’d seen. Every time I thought about it, I could hear Korix screaming in pain again, like it was still happening. Why was I doubting him like this? 

 When the hour crept toward midnight, I gathered Pheniks from his fascinated study on the cultures of the pre-Founding nations. He jabbered about that throughout our trek to the beacon, wildly gesturing at times, and worn out, I barely kept from snapping at him to shut up. He couldn’t help it if he’d gone manic about a new and interesting subject. 

 One disorienting trip to Rane’s bar later and I was done. I just wanted to go home and sleep but… 

 But home meant Leski and the conundrums associated with her. 

 Pheniks and I entered the front of the bar, and two steps into it, something barreled into my legs. I went through an increasingly wild set of steps to stay on my feet, and once I was stable again, I irritably noted the hidden snickers of the bar’s patrons before glancing at my recent stumbling block. 

 A ball of black fur gazed up at me with a furiously wagging tail. Ace. 

 Dropping into a crouch, I clutched my dog to me, barely restraining a sob. Oh, Mother Time. I couldn’t break down. Not here. Pulling free of his fur, I swiped my hands along his sides, doing my best to stay gentle with that. Hell, why was I so frantic about making sure he was ok? 

 “Hey, buddy,” I said. “Did you miss me?” 

 “He certainly did.” 

 Standing over me, Feena had her hands on her hips, shining a faint smile at me. Why was I not surprised that she and Ace were here? 

 “He’s been whining up a storm since he came to me, the little bastard,” she said. “I couldn’t take it anymore.” 

 “Thank you for dealing with him,” I said. 

 Waving a hand in dismissal, Feena said, “It was no trouble. Now, give me a hug.” 

 Rising from my crouch, I bent over Ace to do as she’d asked, and comfort brushed against me, asking for permission to enter. Before I could invite it in, Feena pulled away. She waved at Pheniks, and grimacing, he joined us. 

 With my siblings around me, comfort took root, and the greatest sense of peace that I’d felt in a while spread through my body. Holding them close, I rocked Pheniks and Feena back and forth, and as he ran circles around us, Ace’s tail whipped against my legs. 

 We were together again. Nothing could stop us.

Chapter 65: The Unstoppable Trio
When I extracted myself from my siblings’ embrace, I was aware of how many people were staring at us, but I didn’t care. 

 Clasping Feena’s arms, I asked, “How’ve you been?” 

 She shrugged. 

 “Oh, you know. Busy,” she said. “I saw you only a few days ago, Zae.” 

 Right. After everything that had happened, the Founder’s Day Ball seemed like it had happened in the far distant past. 

 “I meant in general,” I said. “We didn’t get to talk much at the ball.” 

 “The Lokke Vitras did whisk you away rather quickly, although I suppose it was at my request. If you want, we can talk more in-depth now,” Feena said. “Phen, will you join us for a drink? You can ignore the exceedingly rude House Kolb members around us. They forget who your family is. Considering Rane finds your presence acceptable, they should too.” 

 As she glared at the bar’s patrons, memory slammed into me from the side. Hard. Laughing up a storm, a flickering Fyester dragged a naïve, younger me out of this bar. 

 “Not here.” 

 With my voice cracking like a whip around them, both of my siblings jerked toward me. If that weren’t bad enough, I’d been so loud that several patrons tensed, going for their weapons before they realized that I wasn’t a threat. 

 “Zae-” Feena started. 

 I didn’t let her finish. Storming through the bar, I only checked that Ace was following me before exiting it. Once I was outside, I leaned on the wall beside the door, refusing to consider what I’d just done. Instead, I scratched my dog’s ear while waiting for my siblings. 

 Barely anyone was on this platform, and considering how late it was, finding people in Rane’s bar might have surprised me more if I hadn’t known about the crisis that was trickling its way through House Kolb’s Strata. I suspected the barkeep would be busy over the next few weeks. 

 When my siblings joined me, they eyed me with caution while Feena summoned the courage to lay a hand on my shoulder, and I scrambled for a way to explain my behavior. 

 “You don’t have to say anything,” Feena said, in tune with my thoughts. 

 But I shook my head. It would be good to share this with someone who hadn’t been a part of it. 

 “That bar holds my last good memory of a man I loved, more than I realized at the time,” I said. “Despite how good it is, I can’t remember it with anything but pain. Everything that happened afterward… it tainted something that should have been wonderful for me.” 

 Falling silent, I chewed on my lip, unsure whether I should add more to what I’d already given them. 

 “What happened?” Pheniks asked. 

 Feena elbowed him, directing an apologetic glance at me, but shaking my head, I blew out a breath, hugging myself. 

 “I killed him,” I said. 

 Pheniks recoiled the smallest bit, as I’d expected, but Feena went very, very still. I didn’t know what to make of her reaction. 

 “He asked me to do it,” I continued, “and it was done as part of my duties, but the grief and guilt and self-hatred that spawned from what I did ripple across everything I remember about him now.” 

 I couldn’t look at my brother. I didn’t know what my confession had done to him, but he wouldn’t understand. So, I met Feena’s eyes. 

 “He was my first,” I said. 

 Something shifted in her, letting a need to embrace me blaze forth, but she was House Kolb too. She knew how much her attempt to comfort me might instead crumble the brittle strings keeping me aloft. 

 Instead, she reached for my hand, interlacing her fingers with mine, and smiled. 

 “I know a great noodle place nearby. It should be open,” she said. “Interested?” 

 Hesitantly, I nodded, and we both glanced at Pheniks. He was still staring at me with pinched eyes, but he inclined his head. 

 No one spoke as we strolled over walkways and plasma bridges with Ace at my heel. Soon enough, we reached Feena’s suggested restaurant, and she went inside to order for us. All the while, Pheniks watched me, and I avoided his gaze, absently petting Ace. 

 When Feena returned with a bag exuding heavenly scents, she led us to a bench a little further along. My siblings took their seats first, and once they were comfortable, I sank to the ground between them while Ace lay beside me with his head on my leg. Feena handed out food, and as I took a bite, I fluttered my eyes closed. Almost as good as what I’d gotten used to with Korix. 

 “I’ll start since Zae gave us part of his story already,” Feena said between mouthfuls. “So, first. Work. I don’t know if I’ve told you, Phen, but I hit Fourth Stratus a few months ago, and as soon as I did, Talira made me an ii hunter.” 

 I couldn’t see Pheniks’ reaction to this revelation but for me? It was funny, actually. A prospect that had once horrified me now only made me nod in acknowledgment. Damn, I’d been such a sheltered kid. 

 No. All of Lutov was sheltered, save for a select few. 

 “Since then, I’ve been in Ibis more often than not,” Feena continued. “Surprisingly, I’ve enjoyed myself. Ibisian culture is fascinating, and I’ve liked learning about it. I’ve even dated a few of them, although they call it courting there.” 

 “You haven’t!” Pheniks interrupted. 

 Rolling her eyes, Feena said, “Yes, I have. Don’t worry. I’ve been careful when it comes to consent for everything.” 

 “That’s not why I-” Pheniks started. 

 “I don’t have much else to share besides that. My life’s been relatively simple,” Feena said over him. “If we have time, I have a few funny stories to tell, but for now, I believe it’s Phen’s turn.” 

 “Ugh.” 

 Beside me, Pheniks bobbed his leg on his knee, and fascinated, Ace watched it. 

 “Fine. I’ll go,” he said. “First. House Zan is so much easier than Kolb. I can’t believe how little trouble I’ve had with flying up the ranks, but this last hurdle…” 

 Falling silent, he stilled his fidgeting. 

 “I don’t actually want to be First Stratus,” he eventually said, “but I caught Arion’s eye with a project that I headed a few months ago, and once he started singing my praises, I didn’t have much of a choice. Zan may be easier to advance through, but the Strata are brutal. If I don’t win out in this contest, I’m likely to regress, and I’ve gotten used to Second Stratus privileges. I know my issues are nothing when compared to yours but-” 

 Reaching up, I squeezed my brother’s knee. 

 “They’re no less valid,” I said. “Doesn’t matter how small or large they seem in comparison, they’re a struggle for you, and we’ll support you through them.” 

 After a pause, Pheniks patted my head. 

 “Thanks. I appreciate that,” he said. “Anyway. Outside of House business, which I won’t discuss, nothing much has happened in my life. I have friends, but we’re not close. I’ve also been on a few dates, but those relationships usually end once the other person sees how much time I spend at work. They’re right to leave, of course, but what am I supposed to do? I find my projects more interesting than anything a partner might have to offer.” 

 At that, I suppressed a smile. I’d always wondered about my brother. He’d never found anyone attractive, only dating when he needed something, whether of a sexual nature or not, from the other person. 

 I knew a minority of the population considered intimacy and romantic relationships an unnecessary indulgence, but I’d never been sure if he fit into that group. After all, he did enjoy sex, if our unHoused years were anything to go by. Although… I wasn’t sure if that precluded him from said minority. Probably not. 

 “What about you?” 

 Feena nudged me with her foot. 

 “You shared a piece of your life with us already. Ready to give the whole story?” she asked. 

 I didn’t know if I should. Some of the things I’d done… they were enough to change a person’s perception of me. 

 “Are you sure you want to hear about it?” I asked. “Given what I am, do you want to know anything about my life?” 

 Silence reigned for one… two breaths, but then, Pheniks clicked his tongue. 

 “Is hiding it any better?” he asked. “I hate having to walk on eggshells around you.” 

 That was a good point. How draining had it been to avoid certain topics with my siblings? 

 In the past, I’d done that because I’d thought my role required it, but since Korix had left me a note in a book, telling me to resist, I’d been struggling to decide what that meant. Sitting with my siblings on either side of me, the choice was taken from with, with regards to them at least. 

 “It hasn’t been all bad,” I said. 

 I told them everything, leaving only the most graphic details and the story for the last few days out. They learned about the people I’d saved along with those I’d condemned. They learned about a number in my array that was steadily increasing, the count of how many lives I’d ended. They learned, if they hadn’t already known, about how broken our supposedly perfect society truly was. 

 The last bit, the personal, I almost kept to myself, but my siblings had made themselves vulnerable to me. I should do the same. 

 “I’ve found someone,” I said. “He is… perfection, exactly what I need in most regards. I love him, but it’s different from what I’ve professed for others. He makes me whole, less of a shattered spark of a soul. I can see myself spending my life with him if…” 

 If the Ancients let him go. If he once more became who he truly was. 

 “If he returns to me,” I said. 

 Please, Mother Time, let it be so. 

 My siblings were quiet above me, and I worried that I’d shared too much with them. When Pheniks slid to the ground at my side, throwing his arms around me, with Feena quick to follow, I locked up, and the pressure and heat in my chest made it difficult to breathe. 

 The reaction was understandable, I thought. They accepted me. They loved me, even now. 

 Burying my face in their arms, I surrendered to the storm that had been raging inside since I’d learned how much trouble Lutov was facing. Since I’d learned how much of a fight I must put up for Korix. I soaked their sleeves while my sobs rang over an empty platform, and when I could, I squeezed them to my sides with my face hidden. 

 “Do you know how much you support me?” I asked. “Every time I get a message from you, I pore over it until its words and cadence are imprinted on my mind. Your random tidbits and check-ins have carried me through the worst moments of my life, and I don’t know how I can repay you for that.” 

 They were silent for a while, just holding me, until Feena cleared her throat. 

 “You could reply more often,” she said. “Mother Time, you don’t know how many hours I’ve spent worrying about you, only to get an answering message days later!” 

 “Ha!” 

 Lifting my head, I wiped my eyes. 

 “You’re right. I should,” I said. “I’m sorry.” 

 Bumping his shoulder against mine, Pheniks said, “I’m glad you’ve finally gotten back in the game. You were starting to worry me. So? Who’s the lucky man who’s claimed your affection?” 

 Feena tightened her arm around me, and from the corner of my eye, I watched her jaw stiffen as she swallowed. Curious. Over the years, she’d gotten better at smoothing emotions off of her face, even when free of missions, whereas my skills in that area had deteriorated apparently.  

 This wasn’t the first time I’d seen something like this from her either. At the Founder’s Day Ball, she’d reacted strangely too. Did she-? 

 “Zae?” Pheniks asked. 

 Shaking myself, I said, “Sorry. You’ve asked me a difficult question, one I’m not sure I can answer, but…” 

 Depending on Talira’s reaction to the revelation I’d made earlier, maybe Korix and I wouldn’t need to keep our relationship secret anymore, not from the people we cared about at least, and that idea… 

 “He’s smiling. Unintentionally,” Pheniks hissed at Feena. “Should I be scared?” 

 “It’s nothing,” I said, patting his leg. “Only, that situation may soon change. If it does, you two will be the first people I tell about my partner.” 

 “Good enough for me.” 

 Extricating from us, Pheniks leapt to his feet before brushing himself off. 

 “My turn to apologize, but I need to sleep if I’m to juggle this research project with my House business,” he said. “You do still want my help, right Zae?” 

 He would be abrupt with his desire to leave, making his goodbyes as soon as everyone had finished sharing, but that was just him. Pheniks, my socially awkward, oblivious brother. 

 “I would love it,” I said. “If you can manage the workload, of course.” 

 “Oh, I’m sure I can, especially if our grandmother speaks with my shukusen as you claimed,” Pheniks said. “See you tomorrow, then? I’ll let you know when I can drop by.” 

 “And I’ll let you know if my plans change,” I said. 

 “Great!” Pheniks said. “Goodnight, you two. It’s been… wonderful, actually, to spend time with you again.” 

 “Night, Phen.” 

 When he glanced back on his way to a lift, I raised my hand, and for a while afterward, I ran my fingers through Ace’s fur, enjoying the feel of him breathing against my leg. I'd need to speak further with Feena before heading home, but for a moment, I just let myself relax.

Chapter 66: Protocol and Updates
“Why were you really in Rane’s bar?” I eventually asked Feena. 

 Because there was no way in hell that she’d been there by chance. 

 “Talira’s assigned me to you,” she said. “I’m your support team until this situation is resolved, acting Lokke Vitras.” 

 Nodding, I folded over Ace, scratching the base of his tail. That was about what I’d thought. 

 “How do you want to do this?” I said. “You could stay at the apartment with Leski and me, but that might be problematic in the long run.” 

 “I don’t know how best to run this mission, Lokke Vitras,” Feena said. 

 Flinching, I straightened, facing my sister. 

 “She’s using you to reinforce how she thinks I should act soon,” I said. 

 When Feena nodded, I dug my fingers into Ace hard enough that he lifted his head off of the platform, panting, and with an internal wince, I smoothed the spot I’d aggravated. 

 So, even my family believed that it was almost time for Korix to hand off his role, but after the last few days, I wasn’t sure I was ready for it. Cold and calculating, I might typically be, but I’d defied Korix’s long-preached need for me to abandon love. 

 This crisis with House Cerullis. The Crescent Incident with Fyester. When the people I cared for got involved in what I did, I didn’t handle it well, and I wasn’t sure how to resolve this issue. It wasn’t something I should consider now, though. Not in depth, at least. 

 “Fine,” I said. “I would hear your opinion on our sleeping arrangements, Fourth Stratus.” 

 “Of course. I agree with your assessment that the living space of the Lokke Vitras isn’t our best solution,” Feena said. “I humbly suggest that we impose upon the hospitality of Second Stratus Mira and Third Stratus Ximon.” 

 “Our parents?” I squeaked. “You want to bring them into this mess? Have you forgotten that they want nothing to do with me?” 

 Feena levelly stared at me until I sighed, lifting my eyes to the stars. 

 “Explain yourself, Fourth Stratus,” I said. 

 “We need to keep this problem between those we trust, meaning family,” Feena said. “We’ve agreed that your place of residence would present a unique set of difficulties for us, namely breaches in your security and the inevitable danger posed to anyone who stays with you. 

 “My place is a no-go. If we stayed there, no one could watch Leski while we’re out, and my security measures are, frankly, deplorable. Berate me as you will. 

 “Pheniks’ apartment… I love our brother, but do you really want to inconvenience a member of another House right now? Who knows what secrets Zan might gain if we stayed with him? 

 “I don’t know about you, but there’s no way in hell I’m asking Talira to house us. Which leaves our parents. 

 “As for your concerns, our parents are inherently involved in our troubles as the House Kolb members that they are, and no matter how much your presence may or may not distress them, they won’t refuse a request from the acting Lokke Vitras. 

 “Do you find fault in my logic?” 

 Banging my head on the bench, I closed my eyes. 

 “No, although I wish I did,” I said. 

 I didn’t like seeing my parents. I loved them, just as I understood why they didn’t want me in their lives, but their rejection still hurt. 

 “We should head there immediately,” I said. “Do you have everything that you’ll need for an extended stay?” 

 “I have some things in my skycruiser,” Feena said, “but I visit our parents often enough. I have basic supplies at their place.” 

 The flare of pain that this idea caused was strong enough that I had to take a calming breath. Why her and not me? 

 “Good. I’ll need to stop by the apartment for my things,” I said. “Plus Leski, of course.” 

 Oo, she wouldn’t be happy about how long she’d been trapped inside. That would be fun to deal with. 

 “Let’s get going, then,” Feena said. “Our high Strata parents might be accustomed to late hours, but pretty soon, everyone in Xygek will be asleep.” 

 “Not me,” I said. 

 “Well, duh, not you,” Feena said before hissing. “I mean, of course not, Lokke Vitras.” 

 So, she found this etiquette thing difficult too. While she got to her feet, I chuckled, but when I tried to follow her example, the world tilted, and I wobbled in place until Feena steadied me. 

 “What was that?” she asked. 

 “I don’t deal well with rapid regeneration drugs,” I said, “at least not of the variant they gave me yesterday.” 

 Feena’s grip on my elbow tightened. 

 “RRDs?” she asked. 

 “Mmhmm. I suppose I should tell you the uncensored version of what’s happened over the last few days,” I said. “We should head for your skycruiser while I do that, though.” 

 Pulling myself free of Feena’s grip, I waved for her to take the lead, and after eyeing me for a moment, she did. As we walked, I told her about the party that I’d hosted after the Founder’s Day Ball. I shared about how Cerullis had glassed Korix’s estate before getting into my subsequent stay with Niklaus, including all of its drama. Then, we reached my infiltration of the House Cerullis facility. 

 I had to take a break while we piled into Feena’s skycruiser. My sister left the vehicle’s console open to me, and I input coordinates, but the vehicle refused to move until I’d attached my designator to the request. As soon as it had received that fingerprint whorl of numbers, however, we merged in Xygek’s air traffic, and I picked up where I’d left off. 

 Feena’s face went carefully blank when I told her about Korix’s betrayal. It stayed that way throughout my tale of how Leski had rescued me as well as our antics in the facility, ending with the fight and our flight to the city. 

 “So, yeah. Rapid regeneration drugs of the most potent kind,” I said, “although I haven’t fully healed, even with their help. I’ve been short of breath all day, and bandaging’s holding the gash in my side together, but none of these leftover injuries are bad enough to keep me in bed. It’s like evushk’s always warned, though. The more I let myself get hurt, the more quickly my body becomes immune to RRDs.” 

 At the look on Feena’s face—a bit of horror mixed with murderous intent—I shut up. Had I upset her somehow? 

 “I can’t believe he hurt you like that,” she said under her breath. “He loves-” 

 Her teeth clicked together while a sheet of ice fell over me. Tensing, I examined my sister through narrowed eyes. 

 “So, you do know. I thought as much,” I said. “How?” 

 Fena shivered, but I couldn’t blame her for that. I only went this dead in tone and mannerisms when violence was imminent. 

 “I can’t tell you, in the same way I couldn’t answer the Lokke Vitras’ questions at the ball,” Feena said in a small voice. “The only thing I can share is that no one else can learn about your relationship in the way that I did. Your secret’s safe.” 

 Korix had never explained why he’d gone easy on Feena that night. He’d said I wasn’t ready to know, and at the time, I’d accepted his claim. Did I still accept it? 

 Since the Crescent Incident, something had been controlling Korix. Had it told me to drop my questions at the ball, or had my partner spoken those words? If it had been the thing controlling him, did its protection of Feena mean she was in collusion with the Ancients as well? 

 Holding my breath, I forced myself to relax. I couldn’t think like this. If I suspected everyone of betraying Lutov, I wouldn’t get anything done, too paranoid to trust the people whose help I’d need. I should stay vigilant for erratic behavior, like what I’d ignored in Korix, but I wouldn’t let fear rule me. 

 Which meant that I trusted Korix had known what he was doing when leaving Feena alone. Which meant I trusted her. 

 Relaxing, I sank into my seat before crossing my arms. I refused to look at my sister as I asked. 

 “And what do you think of it? Him and me, I mean.” 

 This, other people’s opinions, was a large part of why Korix and I had hidden the romantic side of our relationship for years. What would happen if Lutov learned that its vaunted Lokke Vitras, ever distant and aloof, had what many people would see as a weakness? How would that perception destabilize the role? 

 And why wasn’t Feena answering my question? Would she rather keep what she thought to herself? 

 Shifting in her seat, she asked, “Are you safe with him?” 

 Digging my fingernails into my arms, I gazed out over Xygek. This late, it was much less hectic on walkways and between towers than during the day, which didn’t match my internal state at all. 

 “When he’s himself, I am never safer than when I’m with evushk,” I said. “When he’s himself, he’d never do anything to truly hurt me. When he’s himself…” 

 I had to believe these things. I had to believe that my Korix hadn’t almost killed me. 

 Feena lightly rested a hand on my shoulder. 

 “Ok,” she said. “Then, only one other thing matters. Does he make you happy?” 

 Flipping toward my sister, I glared at her. 

 “You know he does,” I said. “Didn’t you hear me earlier?” 

 Laughing, Feena said, “I did. Sorry.” 

 Pulling her legs up onto her seat, she propped her elbows on her knees, resting her chin on interlaced fingers. 

 “If you’re safe with him and he makes you happy, then what can I say but that I’m happy for you?” she said. “I mean, who am I to judge? I’ve been dating children of Ibis for years now.” 

 “To be fair, they’re ridiculously talented when it comes to romance,” I said. “I’ve only been on dates with one before but…” 

 I shrugged, and snorting, Feena burst out laughing. 

 “Sorry,” she said. “I don’t know why talking so seriously about one of your partners made me forget that you usually have others.” 

 “What?” I said with an eyeroll. “I love evushk, but I need more, same as him. All the same, I think…” 

 Oh… fuck. Why was I only realizing this now? 

 “I think he’s the one I’ll always come home to,” I said. 

 As her eyes popped, Feena said, “Holy shit, Zae. That’s… Does he know?” 

 Shaking my head, I leaned on my knees, tangling my fingers in my hair. 

 “Mother Time, what will I do if he doesn’t… if he doesn’t-?” 

 The skycruiser’s console chimed, and springing upright, I giggled on seeing the apartment’s hangar door in front of us. 

 “Perfect timing,” I shakily said. 

 Setting my internal storm aside, I gave the console my designator a second time, wiping all traces of the apartment’s coordinates from the vehicle while we landed. When I moved to get out, Feena cleared her throat. 

 “Should I…?” she said, glancing around. 

 She meant to ignore my emotional outburst too. Thank all that might be holy. 

 With a half-smile, I said, “You can come inside. I won’t let you see anything sensitive. Just stay behind me, all right?” 

 “Can do.” 

 Another suppression grenade guarded the door between the hangar and its foyer, and after I’d disarmed that trap, Feena examined it with fascination, which was good. 

 Because Leski was slumped in the foyer with a blanket tucked under her chin. Had she been waiting for me? Damnit, I should have gotten her array’s access information so I could contact her throughout the day. How long had she been sitting here? 

 With Feena occupied, I glided to the other woman, crouching to shake her shoulder. Sleepily mumbling, Leski shifted while her hair swung in front of her face, and I considered letting her sleep. If I did that, though, she probably wouldn’t appreciate waking up in a different apartment. 

 Maybe I should grab my go-bag first? 

 Shaking my head, I sent a drone to retrieve it and Leski’s things before jostling her again. Her breathing rate changed, and she turned toward me, lazily blinking. Still half-asleep, she smiled at me. 

 “Zae,” she sighed, “you’re back.” 

 Mother Time, the warmth those words evoked! 

 Then, the full force of Leski’s presence filled her eyes. 

 “You’re back!” she shouted. 

 She leapt at me, and I barely had time to catch her before we were crashing to the ground with her soft lips tightening certain parts of me to an uncomfortable degree. Hell, I wanted to keep kissing her but not in front of present company. 

 As gently as I could, I pulled Leski away from me, wincing at the fear and uncertainty in her eyes. 

 “Hello there,” my sister said with amusement. 

 When understanding dawned, Leski scrambled off of me. 

 “Sorry. Sorry,” she said. 

 Both of us ignored her. Feena shook her head with her hands on her hips while I gave her a rueful grin. 

 “You work fast,” she said, using sub-vocals. 

 Snorting, I sat up while a drone dropped two bags beside me. 

 “Are we… going somewhere?” Leski hesitantly said. “Also. Um. Hello?” 

 “We’re just changing locations. Nothing to worry about,” I said, “and this—” 

 After reaching my feet, I clasped my sister’s shoulder. 

 “—is Fourth Stratus Feena of House Kolb. She’ll be helping us for the foreseeable future.” 

 “Oh.” 

 Relaxing, Leski stepped forward, raising her hand. 

 “She’s also my big sister,” I continued. 

 With a small sip of air, Leski froze, and the world held its breath, eager to observe what would happen next. Much like me.

Chapter 67: Introducing Leski to the Family
My laughter filled the foyer, bouncing in the air around us, and as if a switch had been flipped, Leski lost her shocked fright with storm clouds replacing it. Getting in my face, she slapped my arms and shoulders, but even in this supposedly furious barrage, her blows felt pulled, as if she wasn’t trying to hurt me. 

 “You. are. such. an asshole,” she shouted. 

 Shaking my head, I lifted my eyes to the ceiling while collecting her hands. 

 “If you only knew how many times someone’s called me that,” I said. 

 “You probably deserved it every time too,” Feena said. 

 Yanking her hands away from me, Leski spun to my sister before bowing. 

 “Please forgive me, Fourth Stratus,” she said. “Mother Time, my behavior-” 

 “Is exactly what I’d expect from someone my brother spends time with. He tends to attract a certain type,” Feena said, “a certain type I happen to enjoy.” 

 Taking Leski’s shoulders, my sister pulled her upright, all while she flushed cherry red. 

 “A pleasure to make your acquaintance,” Feena said. 

 “Same,” Leski mumbled. 

 Glancing over her head, Feena said, “Does the other fella know about this? You know. The one we were just discussing?” 

 Huffing, I tossed bags over my shoulder before trudging toward the door. Hell, but my sister liked to get me in trouble. 

 “They’ve met,” I said. “Briefly.” 

 “Oo! How did that go?” Feena asked. 

 Sighing, I glanced over my shoulder at them: my sister with her mischievous smile and Leski with her befuddled expression. 

 “He said he liked her,” I said. “Can we go, please? Leski, I have your things, but we’ll need to get you more clothes in the morning. You can’t keep wearing that.” 

 I had no clue how she’d found Korix’s clothes or gotten past the traps around his room, but seeing her wearing his clothes, rumpled and distinctly too big for her, was disconcerting. 

 “Sorry. My clothes from yesterday sorely need cleaning, and I didn’t feel comfortable in yours,” Leski said. “I wandered around until I found something that was left lying out.” 

 Left lying…? Had the apartment’s drones started glitching again? It didn’t happen often, but Korix and I had been too busy in the last few years to do more than a basic review of their managing processes. Something might have slipped through the cracks. 

 “It’s not a problem,” I said, “but I doubt you’re comfortable in a shirt that’s sliding off one shoulder or slacks that you had to roll up.” 

 “Oh…” Feena said. “Are they-?” 

 The most venomous glare that I could summon closed her mouth before she could finish her question. 

 “Ladies. Let’s get a move on, if you please,” I said. “I don’t know about you, but I’d like a bed soon, a real one.” 

 I directed a significant glance at Leski’s makeshift campsite, and mumbling under her breath, Feena headed into a hangar that we’d left not long ago. I grabbed Leski’s hand to move her along. 

 Once we were through the door, I briefly considered taking one of Korix’s skycruisers rather than continuing in Feena’s, but transferring Ace from one vehicle to another seemed like a lot of work that would only stress my aging dog. Plus, arriving at our parent’s apartment in my sister’s skycruiser would probably relieve a modicum of anxiety for them. 

 Ugh. I still needed to ask whether my companions and I could stay with them or not. 

 The ladies kept wordlessly glancing at each other, as if holding an unspoken conversation, which confused me until they started playing an awkward dance of getting in one another’s way. Releasing Leski, I moved her to where she was headed for the front of the skycruiser. 

 “You two can get to know each other on the trip,” I said. “I’ll sit in the back with Ace. He probably needs the company.” 

 Spinning toward me, Leski clasped her hands in front of her face. 

 “Ace is here?” she asked. 

 In answer, I nodded to the skycruiser, where we could see a dog’s panting face through the back window. After that, Leski flew to the vehicle, and I worried that she’d take the seat I wanted, but she hustled into the front, bending over its divider to ruffle Ace’s fur. 

 Slowing down, Feena drew even with me. 

 “She saved your ass?” she said. 

 “Several times. Why do you ask?” 

 Feena cocked her head. 

 “No real reason,” she said. “Only, her behavior now and what you described earlier make her a prime candidate for House Kolb, not that I’ll influence her in any way. Her choosing Kolb would certainly make things easier for you, though.” 

 When she elbowed me, I grimaced. 

 “I like her,” Feena continued. “Anyway, we need to leave, and you need to let mom and dad know we’re coming, if you haven’t already.” 

 “Are you questioning me?” I asked. “What happened to teaching me Lokke Vitras etiquette, Fourth Stratus?” 

 I’d meant that as a joke, even knowing that she wouldn’t receive it as one, and as expected, Feena sobered. 

 “You’re right. Please, forgive me, Lokke Vitras,” she said. 

 Snapping a bow, she circled her skycruiser, and I bit back a sigh as I slid into the vehicle. Ace was too distracted by Leski to pounce on me, so I had a moment to get settled before a mass of fur and a rough tongue made their assault. By the time I’d calmed my dog down, we were in the air with Feena and Leski amiably chatting, and seeing that I wouldn’t need to smooth the waters between them, I could no longer ignore the blank message that I’d left sitting in my array. 

 I didn’t know what to say to my parents. The last time we’d truly spoken had been before Pheniks’ House naming ceremony, and since then, I’d honored their expressed wish for me to stay out of their lives. How did I break a silence of years that had started like that? 

 I played with wording for a while before leaving the message as a formal requisition of quarters from a high Stratus House member. Sending it off at the highest priority, I set an alarm in my array before leaning into my seat with my hand on Ace and my eyes closed. When I started a dream sequence, Feena and Leski’s voices chased me into a brief nap. 

 After we’d landed in my parents’ private hangar, I let the others scramble out of the skycruiser first. They seemed to have hit it off, which made me glad. Hopefully, it would last. 

 I only gave myself thirty seconds to prepare, desperately running through ways to handle what was coming, but in the end, I climbed into mission mode, relying on my House Kolb training like I had with my message. Better not to feel what was coming. Better to process the blow of it once my parents couldn’t see how badly they’d hurt me. 

 On getting out of the skycruiser, I waited until Ace had jumped to the ground before presenting him with my palm. 

 “Glue,” I said. 

 Obediently, Ace took up position, trotting at my flank as we moved across the hangar. As I approached, mom and dad finished greeting Feena, ignoring Leski. I couldn’t blame them for that, though. Leski had faded into the background, ducking her head as she fiddled with her sleeve’s cuff. 

 Mom noticed me first, which had her smile dying, and she dropped her hand from rubbing Feena’s arm. Dad quickly picked up on his wife’s strange behavior, and when his eyes landed on me, he went almost as blank as her. They watched me stride the last few meters to them with guarded expressions. Halting a safe distance away, I bowed to each of them. 

 “Second Stratus. Third Stratus,” I said. “Thank you for lending us your home.” 

 Short. Sweet. There was no need to draw this out for anyone. 

 They, however, didn’t respond as social convention insisted that they should, just staring at me. I considered shifting in place, making myself look more human, but they’d see through that ruse in an instant. 

 Had I missed something? Perhaps they were upset, which I’d understand. They could afford to let emotions rule them. Should I apologize, then? 

 “I’m sorry to have intruded on your lives,” I said. “I know I only bring you pain. As soon as this crisis is resolved, I’ll leave you in peace.” 

 With a gasp, mom pressed a hand to her mouth while dad frowned. 

 “I don’t understand,” he said. “Feena, you said you’d prep him. Why is he acting…?” 

 Their reactions were… unexpected. What was I to make of them? 

 Almost, I looked to Feena for an explanation but no. I’d make one more attempt to get an invitation inside. I needed a few hours of sleep if I was to help with research tomorrow. 

 “I’m behaving like this because for the moment, I’m the acting Lokke Vitras. I forgot to add that detail to my message, but I thought Feena would have told you about it before now,” I said. “Did you not?” 

 When I turned to my sister, a frown formed on my face before I could clear it. She was glaring at our parents, and strangely, they were refusing to return her hostility. 

 “He’s in mission mode because what else would he be doing right now? You haven’t talked to him in years, all because you supposedly wanted to protect me and Phen from him, but considering how much we associate with Zae, that excuse is wearing thin,” Feena said. “I did a little prep, as you asked, but only the bare minimum, enough to get him here. You deserve to admit the real reason you’ve been avoiding him, fixing this colossal fuck up on your own. You’ve let this misconception continue for far too long.” 

 Whatever family drama this was, it had become troublesome, especially since it seemed to concern me. I’d rather avoid that subject for the moment so… 

 “If you don’t mind, can we delay this until morning?” I asked. “I need sleep and another dose of RRDs.” 

 “Rapid regeneration drugs?” mom faintly asked. 

 She lowered her hand with dad paling beside her. Why were they so surprised that I might need those? They must know I used them often enough to carry hypos of them on me almost all of the time. 

 “Yes?” I drawled. 

 “He almost died yesterday,” Feena hissed. “Almost died thinking you…” 

 She waved a hand at mom and dad before stalking away with a growl, and I bounced my eyes between her retreating back and our frozen solid parents. This had moved past troublesome to irritating and inconvenient. Why wouldn’t they invite me inside? 

 “If my presence is that much of a problem, I can find another place to sleep tonight,” I said. 

 No need to mention that as the acting Lokke Vitras, I could order them to house us. 

 “I’m sure that one of my contacts will-” 

 “No!” Mom cried with her voice choked, “Zae, no. Please, stay with us.” 

 Excellent. Something I could interpret as an invitation. 

 “Thank you for your hospitality,” I said. “My charge and I will retire for the evening. In the morning, I’ll introduce her and explain everything else I’ll need during my stay.” 

 Beckoning to Leski, I started for the door, always keeping my hands visible, but my effort to soothe my parents’ nerves only made it easier for dad to snatch my wrist. I kept myself from attacking him, but my stance shifted, something he could see based on how hard he swallowed. He, however, didn’t release me. 

 “I know you need rest, and I realize how precious your time has become,” he said, “but will you please give your mother and me a moment of it?” 

 Relaxing, I faced him. 

 “Of course,” I said. “My charge and I are your guests. The least I can offer you is my time.” 

 “That’s not-” 

 Dad looked away, keeping a firm hold on my wrist. It only loosened when mom laid a hand on his arm, and after he released me, she took a deep breath before meeting my eyes. 

 “Five years ago, your father and I made you think that we didn’t want you in our lives. We thought enforcing the distance between us would keep your brother and sister safe. We thought it would keep us safe,” she said, gesturing between herself and dad. “It was a mistake. You are our son, just as much as you’re the acting L… Lokke Vitras, and we love you. What would our lives be like if we cut you out? Neither of us could stand the idea of it, especially as time went on, but we let you believe that lie for years. At first, that was because we thought it would be easier for you if we never approached you again, and later, it was because we were ashamed and still-” 

 She bit her lip, and I knew the word that she’d withheld. Afraid. They were still afraid of me. 

 “We’re sorry, son,” dad said. 

 Sorry. 

 “I see,” I said. 

 He said sorry. 

 “I… This is a lot. I need time.” 

 They both looked so sad, but they nodded in acknowledgment. 

 After nudging Ace toward Feena, still waiting in the wings, I held out my arm for Leski, and when she looped hers around it, we left the hangar.

Chapter 68: A Brief Loss of Control
I was only half-aware of tracing the path to my old bedroom, and a few steps in, a message from my sister slid into my array. 

 I’ll take care of Ace tonight, it read. If you need to talk, I’m here. 

 I stopped short, staring at those words, and after a moment, Leski gently tugged on my arm. 

 “Zae…” 

 “Stay here,” I told her. 

 Without checking whether she’d complied, I stormed down the hall and into a room on the far end, shutting off recorders as I went.  When the door slid closed behind me, I had it lock and slowly, slowly let myself drop out of mission mode. I’d rather not stay cut off from my emotions for the entire time I was here. 

 Behind it, however, lay a pulsing wall of red, one that sheeted over my eyes until the washroom that I’d entered looked bathed in blood. 

 Five years. 

 “Five fucking years!” 

 I’d thought I’d been rejected. I’d thought my parents had discarded me after I’d become too burdensome for them, once again, and that had never been the case. 

 With my breath hissing through my teeth, I leaned on the countertop, pounding my fist against it every so often. 

 They’d let me believe that they disdained me for five years. How many social events had I attended with sick dread in my stomach because I’d known I’d have to avoid my parents? How many messages had I written them, leaving them unsent in my array? 

 Pulling them up, I considered erasing the file, shredding it as much as I could, but raging hurt welled in me, pushing at the back of my mouth. Mother Time, I didn’t want to be this spiteful of a person but… 

 Five years! 

 I sent them all. 

 It didn’t feel nearly as good as I’d thought it would. Instead of soothing me, knowing that they’d read about every vulnerable moment, every low point when I’d cried for my mom and dad, pushed that burning hurt from the back of my mouth and onto my tongue. 

 I was screaming, sweeping objects off the counter, spinning to punch a wall. I caught sight of myself in the mirror: red-faced with my hair wild and my eyes already puffy, and I saw a lost child, not the man I was. Not the Lokke Vitras to come. 

 Seizing the first solid object within reach, I hurled it at the mirror, and it shattered with its shards clattering to the counter and floor. 

 What was I doing? Mother Time, what was I doing? Why was I getting so upset about this after everything else that had happened over the last few days? After Korix… 

 Hell. Where was he when I needed him? 

 Someone pulled a hand from atop my head, and gasping, I snatched the other one to me, reaching for a knife. As I touched steel, however, silver hair swung in front of my face, stopping me. 

 “Leski,” I sighed. 

 Rising from my crouch, I scrubbed at my eyes. 

 “I told you to stay put.” 

 “And I did. Until you started screaming,” Leski said. “Then, I came running and brute-forced my way in here.” 

 With a soft laugh, I turned away from her. 

 “I didn’t want you to see me like this,” I said. 

 “Too bad.” 

 Circling me, Leski dragged my hands away from my face, claiming them. 

 “Life has given you a thorough thrashing in recent days, and I’ve only made it worse,” she said. “The least I can do is help you. I’ll be here as you need me.” 

 How… extraordinarily sweet of her. Most people would run screaming from the prospect of putting a mess like me back together. 

 One problem with what she’d said, though. 

 “What makes you think you’ve made it worse?” I asked. 

 Shifting in place, Leski said, “Maybe I can explain that while we continue to your room. You need sleep, right?” 

 Right. And rapid regeneration drugs. 

 “Hang on a moment,” I said. 

 Rummaging in a pocket, I retrieved hypos and jabbed them, one after another, into my thigh. Their waste joined the broken glass in a sink, where drones could dispose of them when they came to clean up. 

 Once we were in the hall again, I took the lead, although I refrained from taking Leski’s hand as I wished. 

 “You were saying?” I asked. 

 Leski dropped her chin to her chest, hugging herself. 

 “You’re in a relationship with… you know who,” she said. “Last night, I decided to be selfish, taking what I wanted, and sure, you reciprocated but…” 

 Releasing her clenched hold of her elbows, she rubbed her temples. 

 “I, in part, added relationship trouble to everything else you’re dealing with, and I’m sorry for it.” 

 Relationship… trouble? 

 “Why would you think you’ve caused a problem between evushk and me?” I asked. 

 With a sharp glance at me, Leski said, “Isn’t that what usually happens in a situation like ours? Or is your relationship with him not as serious as I thought? No matter how much the idea might scare me, if I made such a catch as that frustratingly gorgeous man, I’d… but that’s none of my business.” 

 Frustratingly gorgeous? 

 Shaking my head, I focused on what she’d said, and oh. This would be fun to explain. Hell, what would she think of me once I’d finished? Would she stay accepting, like Feena had always been, or would she grow cold and distant, as had happened in the past? Either way, I had to tell her. I was honestly a little ashamed that I hadn’t already. 

 “Evushk and I…” 

 Shit. How did I do this with her? She and I weren’t on a first date, when I usually explained the sorts of relationships I liked. That was when I laid down ground rules, and having messed that up already, I wasn’t sure how to proceed. I didn’t want to hurt her. I… cared for this woman. 

 “Evushk is important to me as I am to him,” I said before taking a deep breath, “as we are to everyone else we date.” 

 Or at least, that was how I hoped it would be once Korix opened up again. 

 “We’re-” 

 “Polyamorous!” 

 Taking my arm, Leski pulled me to a stop. 

 “You’re polyamorous.” 

 Had that been a question? Also, how did she know about people like me? We weren’t that common. 

 “Yes?” I said. 

 Slapping both hands over her mouth, Leski burst into laughter, staggering so badly that she spun into a wall, and when I frowned at her, her shoulders only shook harder. 

 “Are you-?” 

 This had to be the strangest reaction I’d gotten to a confession like this. 

 Pulling her hands away from her face, Leski gasped, “The night I met you, I was attending the ball with Sulvan, one of my more serious partners. The day after that, I had to cancel a date with Kayel because my dad rushed us home. Do you see?” 

 “Oh.” 

 She was- 

 “You’re-” 

 Nodding, Leski grinned at me, and I found myself returning it with something far sillier. 

 “I’m sorry I didn’t say something earlier,” she said. “When I first noticed that I was attracted to you, our circumstances had become too hectic for me to share, and I honestly forgot to mention it later.” 

 “It’s fine,” I said. “I didn’t tell you either.” 

 But given all of this, I could see why she’d almost turned me down last night. What an opportunity we’d have missed, and all because we’d forgotten to communicate with one another. I really needed to work on that. 

 “So, where does that leave us?” I asked. 

 Rolling her eyes, Leski said, “I thought that was obvious.” 

 She made a running leap, and when I caught her, shooting one leg back for support, she tossed her arms around my neck, kissing me. After a blissful few heartbeats, she pulled away, resting her forehead on mine with the tips of our noses touching. 

 “Bring me to your room,” she said. “Take some of your frustration out on me.” 

 That sounded nice but… 

 “Are you sure?” I asked. “Last night, you seemed to want us focused on one another whenever we decided to… be together, and I’m most definitely not that right now.” 

 With a soft smile, Leski said, “I know. But this is different. This is something I’ll enjoy, and it could help you. It’s not silly, like exacerbating your injuries would have been. Unless those are less healed than they’ve appeared tonight?” 

 “No,” I rushed to say. “No, I’m… much better. Thanks.” 

 Smirking now, Leski said, “Then, what’s the problem? Come on. Show me to your room, Zae. Let’s get all of this—” 

 Clenching her legs around my waist, she tangled one hand in my hair, pulling me into another brief kiss. She ran her other hand over what she could reach of my shoulders and chest, and that was all I needed to get pulled fully into the here and now. 

 “—worked out, yes?” 

 “Why wait that long?” I breathlessly asked. 

 My kiss covered her giggle, and half absorbed with that, I stumbled into the room beside us. There was little preamble here. Her borrowed slacks came off, she pulled mine down, and we tumbled to the carpet. 

 We didn’t spend much time here either. The furious buzz of lust and need flowing between us didn’t allow for leisurely enjoyment. We thrashed and tightened and flexed with everything done roughly. Everything was wrapped in greedy desperation and in some small part, selfishness. Each of us did what we wanted to the other, and fortunately, we were compatible enough that what started as self-serving became exactly what our partner needed. 

 It ended unexpectedly. Something I did—I wasn’t sure what—pushed Leski from wide-eyed relish to rapturous elation, and the waves of her pleasure had me riding my own high. As soon as I started coming down from it, I rolled off of her, breathing hard. 

 I’d never done that before. During sex, I was usually much more focused on my partner, but caring only about myself for once had been… nice. Thank Mother Time that Leski had gotten something out of it too. 

 “That was interesting,” she said. “Nice interesting but… interesting.” 

 Yeah, I wasn’t fully satisfied either, but it didn’t bother me. Raising myself up on an elbow, I grinned at Leski with an eyebrow raised. 

 “Warm-up?” I asked.  

 “Definitely a warm-up,” Leski eagerly agreed. 

 I helped her with her clothes, curling my fingers through hers once we were decent, and as we raced down the halls to my old room, our giggles chased us. 

 In the morning, I’d introduce Leski to my parents, telling them to watch her, and they’d agree to every stipulation I asked for, treating my unHoused charge with a respect they’d never given to their fellow high Strata, but the night before…. 

 That night, I got much less sleep than I’d planned on, but by Mother Time, if I didn’t sleep well when I did.

Addendum
As you might have noticed, I wasn’t great at controlling extreme emotions when I was young. I could ignore more of them than the average Lutovish, but danger to loved ones? You know firsthand what that does to me, Elliot. 

 The Ancients showed me how important it is to keep your distance from them when you’re central to one’s society. Korix fell for a short time, and I might not show this in my tale, but the whole of Lutov teetered as a result. Afterward, I spent centuries perfecting the art of detaching from my emotions, but even then, I’ve failed to do it more often than not. 

 But that’s why being with you and your family has been such a relief. Now that I know my end is swiftly approaching, now that my only purpose in life is to protect the five of you, I can relax. You see me as only Leski and my daughter have in recent years. 

 Oh! About Leski. I’m sorry if my more intimate moments with her were too detailed for you. I know your tastes are reserved solely for men, but while this story is meant to help you move on, its telling is partially for me too. 

 I don’t have long left, a few days at most, and recording this narration, reliving my life, has helped take my mind off of what’s coming. So, I hope you’ll endure or skip any parts of it that you find uncomfortable. Please, allow me this, love. 

 All right. Let’s get to it. Two weeks pass between the last part and the next with research and… stress filling most of that time. The crisis with the Ancients, the role I suddenly had to fill, my parents… 

 I cannot express to you how uncomfortable it was to walk down the halls of their apartment while I stayed with them. 

 But I had Leski and my siblings and an intricate problem that needed solving, and all three of these did a wonderful job with distracting me through exceptionally hard days. 

 After so long without results, though, I began to investigate alternate solutions, one of which was more promising than the others.

Chapter 69: I'm an Idiot 1
Niklaus had changed since our first meeting. With sunken eyes and drawn-together shoulders, he jumped at unexpected noises, and finishing his tea, he lowered the cup with a slight tremor. 

 “I’ve done everything I can to help you,” he said. “When can I see my daughter?” 

 Cocking my head, I examined him from head to toe. I believed him. He could do us no further good as a spy turned double agent. It was time to bring him in from the cold. 

 But first. 

 “May I ask a personal question?” I said. “You would be in no way obligated to answer it.” 

 Shifting on the couch, Niklaus said, “I don’t see the harm in asking.” 

 With a nod, I bent to pet Ace, laying at my feet, and Niklaus didn’t flinch. Yup. He was burnt out. 

 “You’re not married,” I said. “In fact, I found little evidence of a relationship serious enough to spawn a child in your recorded history, so I’m curious how Leski exists. Who is her other parent?” 

 I’d asked Leski the same question a few days ago as part of my struggle with my own parents. She… hadn’t wanted to answer me. As soon as she’d expressed discomfort, I’d let it go, but she’d been withdrawn for two days, which I’d found concerning. What had happened to her second parent to cause such an extreme reaction? 

 Niklaus had gone still with his eyes’ widened state accenting the dark bags under them. 

 “In what capacity are you asking this of me?” he said. 

 Good question. From the reactions I’d gotten to this inquiry, its answer seemed like something that I could use in my role, but that wasn’t why I wanted to know it. 

 “I ask as someone who’s concerned for your daughter and nothing else,” I said. 

 Hanging his head, Niklaus tapped a finger on the sofa with every part of him rigid, and I thought he’d refuse to answer. Then, he defied my expectations. 

 “Leski’s mother made a mistake that saw her killed, something that would have had grave consequences for my daughter and myself,” he said. “Your grandmother erased her existence for me in exchange for a favor, one that she used for you.” 

 Damn. No wonder Leski hadn’t wanted to share. Had she been ashamed of what her mother had done, or had the pain of the woman’s erasure kept her silent, though? 

 Unfortunately, now I was itching for the story’s details, both for myself and so I could better understand the woman I was… dating? How had I not figured out what she and I were yet? 

 But I doubted Niklaus would give those details to me. Not now anyway. 

 “I see,” I said. “Well, Leski is out right now. You can see her when she returns, although I don’t know when that will be. Feel free to stay here in the meantime.” 

 Rising, Niklaus bowed to me. 

 “Thank you, Lokke Vitras,” he said. “I am grateful.” 

 Ugh. I doubted I’d ever get used to that deference. 

 Also, Niklaus had adjusted much more quickly than most to what I was. Was that because he’d known me before I’d made the revelation, or had he perhaps dealt with one of my predecessors before? He’d been alive long enough that him knowing another Lokke Vitras wouldn’t surprise me. If that was the case, I was curious about who it might have been. So many questions I could ask… 

 Now wasn’t the time for a history lesson, though. 

 “Of course,” I said, joining Niklaus on my feet. “You have full reign of the apartment. If you need anything, tell a drone, and it will assist you.” 

 “I will,” Niklaus said. “Good luck today.” 

 Much as it pained me to act this way, I swept out of the room without another word, as my role required.  

 I’d need Niklaus’ luck. We’d spent about two weeks searching The Library with no results, and it was driving me mad. I needed progress. I needed a sense of hope. I needed the mystery of the Ancients solved because when that happened, I’d have a means of protecting Lutov from them and a way to extract Korix from their grip. Please, let it be so because Talira’s efforts to date had been unsuccessful. 

 When I emerged from the sitting room, Feena fell into step beside me. 

 “Ready for another day, surrounded by books?” she chirped. 

 “I swear. By the time this mission’s over, I’m going to hate those wonderful things,” I said. 

 Folding her hands in front of her, Feena leaned into my field of view. 

 “Oo, someone’s grumpy,” she said. “Problems with Leski?” 

 “No. The opposite, actually,” I said. “I’m just frustrated.” 

 Clicking her tongue, Feena said, “Careful, Lokke Vitras. You’re beginning to sound human.” 

 “Careful, Fourth Stratus,” I echoed. “You’re beginning to sound disrespectful.” 

 “And we wouldn’t want that.” 

 With a grin, Feena skipped ahead, and shaking my head at her, I followed. I knew why she was doing this. In recent days, my mood had taken a slow plunge from sour to terrible, and I was struggling to remain calm when provoked, which was saying something. 

 When in our parents’ apartment, Feena had made an obvious effort to cheer me up, and it had helped. This source of comfort did, however, vanish when we left, subsumed by Talira’s command to train me in the manners of the Lokke Vitras. 

 While on the way to Rane’s bar, we entered separate worlds. Worries usually occupied mine, and today was no different. It had been almost two weeks, and we’d seen nothing from House Cerullis. While in their Southern Fells facility, I could have sworn that they’d been about to make their play, but we’d heard not a peep from them. Had absconding with Korix truly pushed their plans back this far, or were we missing something? 

 “We’re here,” Feena said.  

 Nodding acknowledgment, I pressed my forehead to a window. Time for another exceedingly uncomfortable habit, formed in the last few weeks. 

 The vehicle had stopped beside a platform, far from any landing pads. Outside, people had paused in their commutes, staring at the anomaly in their midst, but when Feena opened a door, most of them broke away. In our structured society, no one liked seeing something this far outside of the norm. 

 My sister jumped to the platform with me on her heels, and we used the distraction of the skycruiser’s lift into the air to enter Rane’s bar. Even still, some people marked us, which made me uncomfortable. I liked my anonymity. It let me blend into the background, but the needs of this mission were steadily chipping away at it. 

 At least the patrons in the bar tried to ignore us. Even Rane only gave us the barest of nods as we headed into the back. 

 As usual, the transit to the bottom of Lake Voxmore left my head spinning for several, exceptionally vulnerable seconds, but once Feena and I had shaken it off, we hurried toward The Library. I hardly gave the structure a glance, heading straight for the hatch at its base. Even the fantastic became mundane if one had enough exposure to it. 

 “Phen?” I shouted into the vastness of The Library. “You here?” 

 With research into the Ancients having become his newest obsession, he usually was. Most of the time, he was deep enough inside The Library that my shout couldn’t reach him. To be fair, that was occasionally impossible too. 

 During our time spent perusing The Library, we’d discovered that the mirage-like arches found throughout this place led to several different places across our world. Somehow, they transported the body to these destinations, much like a beacon did, but they did it without molecular dispersion happening in between. 

 Hell, if landing inside the Tainted Land’s irradiated zone hadn’t panicked me the first time I’d walked through an arch. Because of this, I’d refused to go through another one since, but Pheniks had yet to stop trying them, which sometimes interfered with our research. 

 Before I could prepare a message to summon him today, though, my brother stuck his head around a nearby row of shelves. 

 “Oh, good. You’re here,” he said. “I’ve found something.” 

 As he vanished, my heart fluttered while Feena and I exchanged glances. Had I heard that right? Were we finally about to move toward answers? I couldn’t get my hopes up, but as my sister and I hurried toward our brother, the pesky emotion unfurled in my chest anyway.

Chapter 70: I'm an Idiot 2
Pheniks was, as usual, ensconced in a nest made of books, and as we came closer, he made room for us to sit. I could barely do so cross-legged, but I followed his lead anyway, wary of mentioning that I’d rather stand. My brother got finicky when he was this deep into a project, and irritating him when he was like this was a bad idea. 

 “So, since we were having trouble with finding any information on the era of the Founders, I went looking into old mythology,” he said. “From before Lutov’s Founding old.” 

 He also wasn’t one to ease into a topic. 

 “I figured, what the hell? It’s not as if our logical subject choices have worked for us,” he continued. “There’s some, frankly, laughable stuff in here. Did you know that before Lutov’s Founding, people used to believe in all-powerful entities that they called gods? These beings supposedly created and guided reality in what I found to be increasingly ridiculous ways. Can you imagine? Something with consciousness ensuring that everything in the cosmos continues as it should? Ha!” 

 Shaking his head, Pheniks chuckled to himself, which I found hilarious. For someone who harped on keeping an open mind when it came to what science could do, he was being exceptionally intolerant with this subject. 

 Even still, it wasn’t why I was here, so I took a steadying breath. 

 “Phen?” I said as pleasantly as I could. “The Ancients?” 

 “Right! Sorry. Some of this is just fascinating…” 

 He trailed off at the look on my face, clearing his throat. 

 “I found references to a shadowy organization in these books, one that supposedly manipulated civilizations. It did that by fundamentally changing key people in governing positions. Given that, these references were all listed in books about conspiracy theories, of course,” he said, lifting a book to shake it. “Most importantly for us, though, is that the organization was said to have existed since a time lost to history. Sound familiar?” 

 “It does sound similar to our situation,” Feena said. 

 “Right? I dug into this, focusing on the time around our war with those from beyond the stars,” Pheniks said. “Found bunches of interesting information. Apparently, prior to the war, the Houses held almost no power, standing as figureheads for grouping called ‘corporations’ whose sole interest was to accumulate as much currency as possible to themselves.” 

 Now, that piqued my interest. The Houses hadn’t always held dominance? 

 “That’s not what Kirst teaches us,” I said. 

 “I know! Like they never taught us that the pre-Founding nations relied on natural gases for power or how its people found the idea of contraceptives unnatural. They needed hundreds of schools to educate their young. So primitive. It makes me a little ashamed to have come from such a society.” 

 He was diverging, letting his obsession jump him along connections that I’d have an increasingly hard time with following. 

 “Phen,” Feena said before I could, “shadowy organization?” 

 “What?” 

 Mother Time, such befuddlement. 

 “Oh. Yes, yes,” Pheniks said. “So, the people of the pre-Founding nations thought of this organization as a joke. Finding any discussion on it was difficult but this guy-” 

 He lifted another book, peering at its cover. 

 “Um… James Sullivan. Strange to have two names. I wonder if the Ibisians got the idea for that from this era. 

 “Anyway, he took a—wait for it— scientific approach to studying this organization, and shock and awe! In doing so, he developed a theory that might help his many-times-removed descendants.” 

 Wow. Pheniks really didn’t like these pre-Founding nations. 

 As he paged through his book, I frowned. Something lay in that, something I was missing, but before I could figure out what it was, my brother once more barreled into his lecture. 

 “Here’s what Sullivan had to say,” he said before lifting the book in front of his face. “‘The hand behind our nation’s most baffling decisions, hereafter named the Ancients, has a means of changing a person: their ideology, behavior, everything. I theorize that they achieve this change through the adjustment of a person’s hormone regulation, among other things. In other words, the Ancients can manipulate our emotions.” 

 That… made sense. It would explain some of the more nonsensical things that Korix had said during his conversation with the thing wearing his body. 

 Tossing the book to the side, Pheniks spread his arms over the rest of them, lying around him. 

 “My next step was to research human biology and the health studies completed in those times,” he said. “Again, lots of interesting, completely inaccurate information here, but my studies eventually landed on something called ‘mental disorders’. From what I read, many people in the pre-Founding era took medicine to keep themselves sane and stable. They had all sorts of names to make their emotional weaknesses more palatable: bipolar disorder, clinical depression, post-traumatic stress disorder. Strange, right?” 

 I couldn’t move. In my own studies, I’d run across the terms that Pheniks had mentioned. I knew what they were, and reading about them had given me comfort. 

 I wasn’t alone! The people who’d suffered as I did might have died thousands of years ago, but they’d existed. What Korix and I struggled with every day was a normal, legitimate human condition. 

 So, hearing my brother deride my comrades in arms… the hurt of it drove straight to the heart of me. 

 “Anyway, that’s how the Ancients get in,” Pheniks continued. “I looked into every person suspected of experiencing this organization’s influence, and while not all of them had fancy disorders ascribed to them, all of them experienced personality changes after moments of emotional vulnerability.” 

 Oh… Mother Time. Pheniks just wouldn’t let up, would he? 

 Korix had said that he’d served the Ancients since shortly after the Crescent Incident. After a time when his actions, among other circumstances, had led to me murdering Fyester. Had those events distressed him that badly? Was he in this deplorable situation because of his concern for me? 

 “And like Sullivan theorized, once an Ancient has latched onto someone’s emotions, they have control of that person,” Pheniks said. “After all, no matter how much we try to deny them, emotions rule us. We may rise above them at times, but they always win in the end, and in the rare moments when we do manage to defeat them? Well. Emotions are, for the most part, caused by hormones, right? Where are most hormones produced?” 

 “Lots of places but mostly… the brain,” Feena answered. “The control center for every human. The Ancients take hold of that part of us.” 

 Grinning, Pheniks nodded. 

 “So, when they can’t control someone via their emotions, the Ancients can always do the same thing in a ridiculous number of other ways,” he said. “I believe, however, that people can resist their influence, even if they’re in a person’s brain. Doing that keeps them from accessing all of the body’s functions, but based on what Zae’s said, they always gain the ability to cause-” 

 “Pain,” I said. 

 Fyester, Tatum, Korix. Every person who’d been controlled by these… bastards flashed before my eyes. Their faces, when in the grip of the Ancients’ influence, loomed large in my mind, and oh. I’d be sick. 

 “Control of the brain,” I repeated. “That’s why their neural pathways were burned out.” 

 “What now?” Pheniks asked with his eyes gleaming. “Neural pathways?” 

 I must have forgotten to mention that part to him. Of course he’d latched onto it. 

 “Have you shared this discovery with Talira?” I asked rather than answering his question. 

 “Yes…” Pheniks drawled, “and Arion.” 

 Arion? Why would he-? 

 What was I thinking? Of course he’d told his shukusen about this. 

 “Good,” I said. “Is there anything else?” 

 Because I needed to be somewhere else. Anywhere but here. 

 Frowning, Pheniks said, “Not right now. What were you saying about-?” 

 “Great job, Phen,” I said. “If you’ll excuse me, I need a moment.” 

 Numbly, I climbed out of my brother’s haven, and as I hurried down the aisle, his questions chased me until Feena shushed him. Once I was out of sight, I leaned my shoulder against a wall, covering my face. Of all the answers we could have gotten to our questions, why did it have to be this? 

 “He doesn’t know any better. If he understood how you were struggling, our brother would take back everything he said.” 

 Feena. She was getting better at soundless movement. I hadn’t heard her coming until she’d almost been on me. 

 “I know,” I said. “Ignorance is humanity’s greatest enemy.” 

 She said nothing for a while, leaving Pheniks’ rummaging and muttering as the only disturbance to The Library’s silence. 

 “What shall we do next, Lokke Vitras?” she eventually said. 

 Chuckling, I pressed my hand harder into my skin. What could we do? What Pheniks had uncovered might be useful for Talira’s efforts with Korix, but how else did it help us? He’d been right, after all. Humans were emotional creatures. How did we defend ourselves against an enemy that infiltrated our ranks like that? 

 “We return to research,” I said, “and pray to everything that might be holy that we find something helpful in this ridiculous place.” 

 “Where should we start?” Feena asked. 

 Sighing, I dropped my hand and straightened my posture. 

 “Phen had luck with his studies on the pre-Founding nations, so we’ll look into their histories again,” I said. “When browsing through that portion of The Library, I noticed more of those awful arches clustered around it. Phen can explore them while we look through books.” 

 Nodding, Feena said, “Sounds good.” 

 She started for the closest staircase, but I didn’t move, locked in place by… something. It had hovered on the edge of my awareness since Pheniks had begun his explanation, a detail that I’d forgotten or overlooked. Something to do with the time before Lutov’s Founding. What could it-? 

 Niklaus. He was a founder. 

 “SHIT!” 

 With her foot on a stair, Feena glanced back at me, reversing course when she saw the look on my face, and from the corner of my eye, I caught sight of Pheniks running toward us. 

 “I’m such a fucking idiot!” I hissed through my teeth. 

 How much time could I have saved if I’d remembered this earlier? How much time had Niklaus wasted by keeping this knowledge to himself, knowledge that he must have known we needed? 

 “What’s wrong?” Feena asked as she approached. 

 “Niklaus,” I growled. “Niklaus is what’s wrong.” 

 Stopping beside me, Pheniks leaned on his knees, gasping. 

 “What does he have to do with anything?” he asked. 

 Snapping my gaze to my brother, I hissed, “He’s a founder. I was speaking with him a couple of hours ago.” 

 “Oh. Huh.” 

 Rising from his knees, Pheniks leaned away from us, stretching out his back, before marching toward The Library’s exit. 

 “Well, come on!” he called over his shoulder. “The man won’t interrogate himself, and I certainly can’t do it.” 

 Mother Time love my brother. 

 Fiercely smiling, I chased after him with Feena at my side. I would get my answers today.

Chapter 71: Observing Social Niceties
Pheniks, Feena, and I arrived at our parents’ apartment within the hour, not long after I’d left Niklaus there. I was hopeful that we’d catch him before Leski came home, especially when Ace barreled through the door on our approach. If she were here, she’d never have let my dog get distracted from her incessant petting. 

 But then, our parents stepped out after Ace, presenting bright faces despite the tension hanging between us, and that hope crumbled to dust. If mom was here, it meant Leski was too, and while my parents greeted Feena and Pheniks, I accessed the apartment’s recorder system, seeking my charge. When I found her, my chest tightened, and I brushed through my family. 

 Pheniks said something soothing behind me, but it fell to a lower level of comprehension. I had a goal, one I must reach soon, and hell, if I’d let anything stand in my way. 

 When Pheniks caught up, I noted it, logging an increase in my allies’ numbers. If the coming confrontation turned violent, the three of us could handle it. 

 I should probably feel guilty about brushing my parents off but honestly? I hadn’t decided what to do with them. When in their presences, hurt and love battled for supremacy in me, which was a distraction I couldn’t afford right now. 

 They, however, were my parents. I needed to resolve this dilemma so we could move on, but I couldn’t bring myself to tackle the problem. How did I handle this? 

 By ignoring it, apparently. At least for now. 

 My siblings and I were quickly approaching the sitting room where I’d left Niklaus, and even through the apartment’s soundproofing, shouting drifted toward us from it. When they heard that noise, Pheniks and Feena exchanged a glance. 

 “Plan?” my sister asked. 

 “Silent entrance, then follow my lead,” I said. 

 “And if that leads to even more rude behavior?” Pheniks hissed. 

 He was obviously unhappy with how I’d treated our parents. Fortunately, Feena was there for support. Reaching around me, she smacked our brother upside the head. 

 “Not now,”” she said. 

 Pheniks mumbled something unintelligible in response, which was further muffled by the argument ahead of us. At least, I thought it was an argument. I’d only heard one voice yelling so far. 

 Accessing the sitting room’s recorders once more, I double-checked its occupants’ positions before moving Feena to the other side of me. Holding a finger to my lips, I had the door slide open before leading the way inside. 

 With his body shaking, Niklaus had his back to us while Leski was standing in front of him with barely any of her visible. The only reason I knew that her chin was tucked to her chest was because of my secondary view of the world. 

 “-you know who you’ve put yourself in the hands of?” Niklaus was roaring. “Mother Time, girl, you had to know something was wrong with the man, and still, you ran off, willy-nilly, with him.” 

 He was berating her over me? Oh… it took more effort than it should to stay loose, calm, and out of sight.  

 I must have done a convincing job of hiding the threat that I’d become. Feena didn’t raise an eyebrow at me as she ushered Pheniks to stand against a wall. 

 “Now, both of us are at his mercy, and it’s your fault, stupid girl,” Niklaus continued. “If that wasn’t bad enough, I’ve heard you’ve gone on dates with several people since coming to the capital. Shame on you for your behavior. How much do you mean to disgrace our family?” 

 I’d been dunked in an ice bath. Had Leski lived with this for her whole life? If she had, I was surprised she was so well-adjusted, just as much as I swore to Mother Time that Niklaus wouldn’t have another peaceful day until his daughter stopped me from disturbing him. I would make it my personal mission to show this man what happened when someone treated their children so horribly. 

 “Damnit, Leski. You do things like this, and you remind me of your mother,” Niklaus spat. 

 In the recorder’s feed, I watched Leski shoot her head up. 

 “And how is that a bad thing?” she hissed. “At least mom loved someone enough to risk her life for him, even if he was a child of Ibis. I doubt you’d do the same for me or anyone else, father. 

 “You see, if you really loved me, you’d understand everything that makes me who I am, including the part of me that needs multiple partners in my life, and you wouldn’t shame me for it. You’d work through whatever’s making you resistant to my lifestyle and accept me. 

 “And yes. I know who Zaeden is. I know that sometime in the next decade, I won’t be able to publicly call him that with the Lokke Vitras having become his name, and you know what, father? I think I might be falling in love with him. Maybe. 

 “So, reconcile your dislike of him or… no. Treat me like I should be treated as your daughter, or get the fuck out of my life.” 

 Spinning, she stormed out of the room, and I might have enjoyed the mottled red color on Niklaus’ face more if I hadn’t been grappling with what Leski had said. She was falling in love with me? Two weeks had passed since we’d started our strange relationship! 

 Sure, people had fallen head over heels in much shorter spans of time before, but I’d thought… 

 Had she said that to aggravate her father, or had the heat of the moment pushed it into the open? If it had, would it matter? The truths that we never wanted to say usually emerged in the moments when we were the angriest. 

 What would I do? 

 Later. I had to deal with it later. Answers came first. 

 As loudly as I could, I opened and closed the door at my back, and when Niklaus faced me, I was moving into the room as if I’d just entered it. 

 “Good. You’re here,” I said. “You’ve been withholding information from me, Niklaus.” 

 He blinked at me with a furrowed brow before going carefully blank. Again, he’d adjusted much more quickly to my presence than he should. Why was that? 

 “Lokke Vitras, I’m at your service,” he said “Forgive me. I wasn’t expecting you. Who are your friends?” 

 I almost told him that he didn’t get to ask me questions, that he could shove them up his ass, but before the words emerged, I switched tactics. A hostile approach wouldn’t get me what I wanted. Niklaus required honeyed words to pry information out of him. 

 “These are my siblings,” I said. “Feena. Pheniks.” 

 I jerked my thumb at each of them. 

 “I’ll let you get acquainted.” 

 Stepping to the side, I waved my siblings forward before taking a seat on the couch. Feena shot me the most neutral glare I’d seen in my life before stepping forward with her hand extended. 

 “It’s good to meet you,” she said. “I’ve heard of your work in House Kirst…” 

 They continued with small talk, and when he was allowed to make it, Pheniks was much more enthusiastic with his greeting, but I paid them little mind. Since I’d given my siblings the responsibility of sweet-talking Niklaus, I’d gained an idle moment much more quickly than I’d been expecting, so I turned myself toward writing the most carefully worded message that I’d sent in my life. 

 Do you want me to slap your father down? With my status, a reprimand from me might have greater effect, but I won’t do it without your approval. 

 After a pause, Leski responded. 

 You heard our conversation? 

 Finding the closest recorder in the room, I smiled at it, waggling my fingers in a wave, and soon after, another message slid into my array. 

 That’s embarrassing, it read. I can handle my father but… Zae. How much of that conversation did you hear? 

 Wincing, I wrote, Everything after your father started berating you for associating with me. 

 There was a pause for a handful of minutes, a time I spent congenially smiling at my sister while she glared at me. She really didn’t like the position I’d put her in, huh? 

 So you heard what I said about my feelings for you, Leski eventually replied. Listen, Zae. I’m not yet sure whether those feelings are spur of the moment, a reaction to my father, or truly how I feel. I don’t think I love you now, but I can see things going that way, if that makes sense, so… 

 Look. I didn’t mean to put pressure on you. If you want, you can pretend that I never said anything. I don’t expect you to respond until you feel the same way, if that time ever comes. So, focus on what you need to do, ok? 

 Closing my eyes, I held the warmth that Leski had spawned in the heart of me, just enjoying it for a moment, and after one slow breath, I let the world in again, grimacing when I saw my siblings beginning to struggle with Niklaus and his ever-present temper. 

 I sent off one more message. 

 You’re amazing. Thank you. 

 Then, I shut off the room’s recorders. 

 “Will you join me, Niklaus?” I asked. “I have things to discuss with you.” 

 Niklaus seemed relieved when he sat across from me while Feena and Pheniks found seats as well. 

 “How can I help you, Lokke Vitras?” he asked. 

 Leaning my elbows on my knees, I steepled my fingers in front of my face. 

 “Continuing with what we were discussing earlier,” I said, “was your wife part of the Ibisian uprising ten years ago?” 

 Again, Niklaus looked like he’d seen a ghost, and at my side, Pheniks shot me a questioning glance. He wouldn’t understand what I was doing, but Feena did, based on her faint grin. 

 When in an interrogation, asking a question to rattle the subject before getting to the important ones could, at times, loosen the tongue, a strategy that would work well with Niklaus. That it would also get me more answers about Leski’s mysterious mother was merely a happy circumstance. 

 “How did you…?” Niklaus said. 

 Straightening, I spread my arms. 

 “I am the acting Lokke Vitras,” I said. “Shukusen Talira may not have fully elevated me, but do you think she would have given me this position if I couldn’t handle it?” 

 In actuality, my question about Leski’s mother had been a guess. 

 If she’d lost her life while helping a child of Ibis, it had likely been during one of that landmass’ many revolts. Those were the only times when Lutovish citizens might get caught in the crossfire. When we’d been in the House Cerullis facility two weeks ago, Leski had implied that she’d known her mother, and the only revolt that had occurred within her lifetime had been the one from ten years ago, a year into my training. 

 At that time, Korix had traveled often, leaving me with assignments to complete. While he’d been away, I’d gone through a vast swath of my book learning—studying subjects like the intricacies of House maneuverings, higher sciences, and other secrets that the unHoused never learned—and when he’d been home, Korix had taught me how to dance and play various instruments, among other things. 

 Looking back on it, I could see why he’d focused on those skills during that year. I recognized the signs of stress in him that I hadn’t seen at the time. I’d always wondered what he’d been doing while away. I’d figured it’d had something to do with the revolt, but I’d never been sure exactly what that could have been. Maybe I could ask him if- when he woke up. 

 Trembling, Niklaus said, “Yes. Laryse died in the uprising.” 

 When I clapped my hands together, he jumped. 

 “Excellent! The man can share his secrets. I just have to ask for them,” I said. “Tell me, sister. Considering what we learned this morning, should I have had to ask for the information I want right now?” 

 “No, brother,” Feena said. “You shouldn’t have.” 

 “That’s what I thought,” I said, “but apparently, Niklaus here disagrees.” 

 Throwing my arms across the back of the sofa, I crossed my legs, looking down my nose at Niklaus, and he shifted in place. 

 “What information have I failed to give you?” he asked. 

 With a cold smile, I opened my mouth to answer when I once more received a message. 

 I need you at headquarters. Now, was all it said. 

 Internally, I groaned. My grandmother usually had better timing than this. 

 Externally, I hopped to my feet. 

 “You’re a founder, Niklaus,” I said. “Figure out what I want and share it with my siblings. I have better things to do than listen to your story.” 

 As I strode out of the room, Pheniks’ voice rose behind me, and I sent silent thanks to my sister. My brother might be invested in dragging every secret out of his latest obsession, but given how she’d been acting at the beginning of that interrogation, Feena was probably less than enthused about me leaving her behind. 

 When I was halfway to the hangar, my mother stepped into the hall ahead of me, but as soon as she saw me coming, she ducked into the room she’d just left. 

 Clicking my tongue, I called, “Wait.” 

 I should start the process of resolving this problem. Otherwise, I’d never face it. 

 When I reached her, mom couldn’t meet my gaze, which was probably a good thing. Who knew what I’d do if I had her once-comforting eyes on me? 

 “I’m not sure how I feel about what you and dad told me,” I said, “but we can’t leave it hanging over our heads like this. The next free moment I have, we should talk.” 

 Hugging herself, mom said, “Whatever you want, Zaeden. We’ll do what we must to make this right.” 

 Did I want this made right? 

 “Ok, then,” I said. 

 Turning on my heel, I hurried away, but I couldn’t get far enough away to avoid the four, carefully worded energy bolts that she launched into my heart. 

 “I love you, son.” 

 Even as I pretended to ignore them, those words jangled in my head on my way to the hangar. They followed me all the way to House Kolb’s headquarters.

Chapter 72: Waking Him Up
I’d never seen the lobby of House Kolb’s headquarters more deserted. A few people scurried between the lifts and the exit, but they couldn’t number more than a couple dozen, and in its emptiness, a normally austere place, kept alive by activity, seemed like a grave. 

 As I crossed toward a lift, my footsteps echoed, and this had a few people tossing odd looks my way. When I’d visited this place in the past, I’d usually come through the landing pad on the roof, although Korix had made me sneak from the bottom of the tower to its top several times before. Even still, my face wasn’t well known in the House that I’d soon help lead, only answerable to shukusen Talira. 

 She was waiting for me at the lifts with her feet shoulder-width apart and her arms crossed behind her back. If I was getting strange looks, she was getting stared at, but she must have taken that possibility into account earlier, considering how infrequently she came down from on high. 

 Once she’d spied me, the statue the Talira was showing to the world relented, and she strode toward me with a warm smile and her arms spread for a hug. 

 “Grandson!” she cried. “I’m so pleased that you’ve come to visit.” 

 We were playing those roles, were we? It made sense, especially if she was holding my identity close to her chest, like a card yet to be played. 

 “It’s good to see you,” I said. 

 Returning her hug with enthusiasm, I forced myself to remain at ease while hiding my irritation. I knew she’d interrupt my activities quite often in the future, but not only was I unaccustomed to it now—not from her, at least—but what she’d interrupted today could be vital for Lutov’s security. 

 Could I ignore my shukusen’s summons if I was doing something crucial for my role’s objectives? 

 I didn’t have long to ponder this fascinating thought as Talira soon held me at arm’s length. 

 “Look at you,” she said, clucking like a mother hen. “How long has it been?” 

 A couple of weeks. 

 “Years,” I said. “Sorry. I’ve been busy.” 

 “I can imagine,” Talira solemnly said. “Well, come on. Let’s get you what you need. Maybe we can have lunch afterward?” 

 She set a floor into a lift’s control. 

 “I’d be delighted,” I said. 

 “Good, good.” 

 Standing to the side, Talira waved me forward. 

 “After you.” 

 Did she know how much I hated taking lifts first? The extra danger, even one this insignificant, wasn’t something that I liked adding to everything else I daily shouldered. That plus having someone like her, one of the two people who could take me down single-handedly, at my back made the hair on the back of my neck stand on end. Even still, I did as she’d bidden with a smile, which was pretty much standard for me. 

 Rather than taking me skyward, as expected, the lift plunged me beneath the ground, and my frustration was wiped away in the face of the hope that had started bubbling in my heart. By the time I’d reached my destination, though, I was also chewing the hell out of my lip. Had Talira summoned me for the reason I suspected or for the revelation of my worst nightmare? 

 By the time my grandmother had joined me, I’d isolated the floor we were on from the tower’s recorder system, which she must have known given her lack of warmth while examining me. 

 “You look better,” she said. 

 “I feel-” 

 Talira jabbed a finger into my side, interrupting me, and as I glanced between it and her, I let my annoyance shine through. 

 “I feel better,” I said, trying again. “Really, shukusen. RRDs can repair my body in two weeks. I haven’t built up that much of a tolerance for them yet.” 

 “I had to be sure, given what we’re here to do,” Talira said. 

 Even as all of me paused, breathless, for her to complete that thought, I ignored my grandmother’s invitation to ask the question at the forefront of my mind. Instead, I flicked my eyes toward the ceiling. 

 “What was that about?” 

 “It’s what I had to do when you came through the front fucking doors,” Talira said. “Seriously, Zaeden? You couldn’t think of a better way inside? Maybe one that wouldn’t stretch my acting skills?” 

 With a half-smile, I said, “Oh, I thought of plenty.” 

 Rolling her eyes, Talira started down the corridor. 

 “Sometimes, I forget how much of a snarky bastard you can be,” she called over her shoulder. “I’ll never understand why your evushk had to choose you as his replacement, but I do know that you’ll be a pain in my ass First Stratus.” 

 Yes. Yes, I would be, but only because she liked it. 

 Trotting to join her, I strode at her side with a bounce in my step. 

 “Speaking of evushk, is he why I’m here?” I asked. 

 With narrowed eyes, Talira said, “What do you think?” 

 I thought that if I was right, I’d be happy sans worry for the first time since the Founder’s Day Ball. I’d be able to take on any foe, both the known and the seemingly insurmountable, without doubt or hesitation dogging me. 

 I couldn’t say any of that out loud, though. 

 “Does that mean Phen’s discovery was useful?” I asked. 

 “Incredibly,” Talira said. “Why don’t I show you how?” 

 She stepped into the room on our right, and following her, I glanced over dimly lit monitors embedded in counters, as well as a pair of rolling chairs sitting on the room’s far side. Most of the screens displayed charted numbers, some of which I scanned, but I was mostly occupied with the central-most images. 

 Three versions of a single brain were glowing in front of the chairs. The two on the outside looked nearly identical, although I didn’t know if these images were normal for a human. The one in the middle had a bright spiderweb permeating it. 

 Sliding into the seat beside Talira, I hunched over the images, staring for a moment, before falling back into my chair. 

 “Evushk’s?” I hesitantly asked. 

 Nodding, Talira pointed to each image in succession. 

 “His brain before capture, after you brought him home, and now.” 

 When had she gotten a scan of Korix’s brain before this fiasco had begun? Did she have one of mine? That was a disturbing thought. 

 “So…” 

 I splayed my fingers over the middle image. 

 “The white strings denote the Ancient’s influence.” 

 “That’s what we think. After Phen pointed us to your evushk’s brain, we found that mess waiting for us,” Talira said. “I don’t know how we missed it on our first time looking there. Perhaps we caught the Ancient controlling him by surprise that second time around. 

 “In any case, I had our medics work their magic, and once they’d finished, mist—the Ancient, presumably—seeped out of your evushk. We sealed it in an air-tight container for further study, and after doing another scan, this was our result.” 

 She drummed a finger on the third image. 

 “Our tests show him returned to the state that he claimed before all of this. Mostly. We won’t know for sure if this is true, though, until we wake him up.” 

 Mother Time, how I wanted to focus on that last bit, but I wouldn’t let it overshadow any information Talira was withholding from me. Because she was withholding. 

 “Mostly?” I asked. 

 Sighing, Talira slumped before tapping a blank spot on the monitor. After a pause, she overturned her hand, and a depiction of the brain beneath it flickered into the air above. In this three-dimensional representation, what the flattened image had been hiding was revealed. 

 A rainbow, one that represented various levels of neurological activity, flowed uninterrupted from the back of Korix’s brain until it reached his frontal lobe, where mood and personality were regulated. Here, pattered splotches had eaten darkened holes through those colors, much like when paper absorbed excess ink. 

 “Shit,” I said. 

 Somehow, I’d kept my voice from wavering. 

 “And this is from after we removed him from the Ancient’s control,” Talira said. 

 When she tapped the monitor again, the hologram blinked with its image almost unchanged, except that the black spots had multiplied to an alarming degree. 

 I clung to the edge of my seat, digging my fingers into it, and despite myself, I couldn’t stop my jaw from slackening or my eyes from bulging. The first one was from before…? 

 Fortunately, Talira was too preoccupied with what she was holding to notice my reaction. 

 “This is a faster deterioration that what we’ve seen over the last hundred years,” she said. 

 Slapping my hands on the counter, I shot to my feet. 

 “Ok. What the fuck is wrong with evushk?” I said. “I’ve seen signs of it, obviously, but… Damnit, I need to know the specifics, or I can’t fulfill my duties as the Lokke Vitras to come.” 

 I’d tagged on that last bit, hoping it would make my outburst appear more appropriate for my role. From the way Talira was looking at me, though, I didn’t think it had worked. 

 “He hasn’t told you?” she asked. 

 When I shook my head, she curled her fingers into her hand, making the hologram disappear. 

 “I’m sorry. I thought he had, otherwise, I would never have shown you this,” she said. “It’s not my right to breach his privacy like that.” 

 “Why not?” I shouted. 

 Talira blinked in the face of my anger, lowering her hand into her lap. 

 “Zaeden, the Lokke Vitras has little that they can keep to themselves, despite the secrecy that surrounds the role,” she quietly said. “You’ve already experienced this with how thoroughly we’ve shared your training with the relevant parties, but when you replace your evushk, it won’t just be your training that’s shared. It will be your entire existence, and the shukusenth won’t be the only ones who learn about it. It will be all of Lutov and a few people in Ibis too. 

 “So, when something comes along that’s deemed acceptable for you to keep to yourself, you’ll cling to it so fiercely that giving the secret to another person will feel like relinquishing a piece of your soul. Do you understand?” 

 Gradually lowering myself into my seat rather than dropping like a rock required more willpower than I’d like to admit, and once I’d sat down, weariness crashed over me. As much as I could, I relaxed, becoming a portrait of peace, and approval briefly flickered to life in my grandmother. She saw my return to control as the answer that it was. 

 Folding my hands in my lap, I said, “So. Waking up evushk?” 

 “That’s the plan,” Talira said. “First, I’d like to discuss what you proposed when last we met.” 

 Great… I’d thought I’d have more time before this topic came up again. Apparently not. 

 “You’re a shukusen. I can’t exactly say no to you,” I grumbled. 

 Snorting, Talira said, “No, I suppose you can’t. Sometimes, I forget.” 

 Shaking her head, she scooted forward in her chair. 

 “For the last two weeks, I’ve been considering the idea of the Lokke Vitras having a confidant,” she said. “I’ve identified several of the plan’s merits and demerits, but in the end, the benefits outweigh its possible consequences. So.” 

 Clapping her hands, Talira rubbed them together, keeping her eyes on them. 

 “So,” she repeated. “For a trial period, you and your evushk may continue along your chosen path. I’ll be watching you, looking for any sign that your relationship has affected your roles. I’m not sure how long this will continue, but once I know that you were telling the truth about your loyalties, the trial period will end, and I’ll inform the other shukusenth about what you’re doing. Depending on their reactions, we will reveal it to Lutov. Knowing this, do you want to continue?” 

 Did I want to continue? Please. It didn’t matter what she threw at me. I’d stay by Korix’s side until he decided he was finished with me. 

 Shrugging, I said, “Your terms are better than I expected to get.” 

 With a soft laugh, Talira turned to the monitors once more, pausing to glance at me. 

 “For how much you claim to care for him, I’m surprised you haven’t visited him over the last two weeks,” she said. 

 Raising an eyebrow, I asked, “Who says I haven’t?” 

 Talira guffawed this time, pressing a hand to her chest. 

 “Fair enough,” she gasped when she could. “Let’s wake this bastard up, shall we?” 

 When she brushed the corner of the monitor, it switched to a view of Korix in stasis. As with every time I’d seen him like this, my heart lurched while acid surged to the back of my throat, but the reaction wasn’t as extreme this time. He’d be out of that amber gel soon, returned to Lutov and me. 

 Please, let it be so. 

 A gurney sat below the stasis field’s capsule with a medic standing beside it. Seeing her made me cringe. Once we were done here, Talira would probably have that medic eliminate her memory of this event. No one could know about the Lokke Vitras’ weakness. 

 At a signal from my grandmother, the medic swiped at the air, initiating stasis release. After tubes and wires disengaged, the amber capsule lowered itself toward the ground, but when the bottom of it touched the gurney, its gel dribbled up and around its curved edges to gather at the top while Korix descended through it. When he was lying on the gurney’s padding, the capsule lifted, sucking away from its once prisoner as it returned to its typical position. 

 As soon as it was clear, the medic rolled the gurney out from under it, checking Korix’s vitals. I watched her run her hands over his body with time crawling by, and when she stepped away, my heart leapt into my throat. 

 Was he ok? Had something gone wrong? I needed someone to talk to me, damnit! 

 The stasis field’s effects lifted, and Korix released the breath that he’d held for two weeks before taking another. This cycle repeated a few times before he came to consciousness. 

 He filled my vision, becoming all that I could see, and when Talira rested a hand on my knee, I dimly realized that I’d been jittering my leg. I didn’t know whether I stopped the unconscious movement or not. 

 In the past, I’d seen a few people emerge from stasis, prisoners I’d needed to question for one reason or another. They’d usually woken up coughing and desperately seeking familiar surroundings or people. 

 Korix opened his eyes and stared at the ceiling, just breathing. My only sign that he was aware of his surroundings was the sudden strengthening of his chest’s rise and fall until he curled onto his side, sobbing. Before the medic blocked my view of him, I caught his lips moving, speaking a string of words that my array translated for me. 

 “He did it. Mother Time, I can’t believe he did it.” 

 I’d fly to pieces; the pressure on my chest was so great. My eyes were pinned on what little of Korix that I could see, and I didn’t move until the monitor powered down. Then, I turned to Talira, although her form was blurred and smeared. 

 “Well?” she said. “Go make sure it’s him.” 

 My throat was so closed that I could barely sip air through it, let alone force words free, so I didn’t know how I choked out what I must. 

 “Thank you.” 

 But then, I was out the door, moving so fast that my hands kissed the ground when rounding onto the hall, and I ran to Korix.

Chapter 73: Checking Assumptions
The full meaning of Talira’s words didn’t penetrate my thick skull until I’d almost reached my destination. 

 We had no evidence that this Korix was my Korix yet. She’d sent me to verify his identity, not to reunite with a loved one, and she’d been right to do it. I was, after all, the one who’d lived with him for the last eleven years. 

 That made it no less painful to slow my sprint, put my appearance in order, and request my rifle. With it in hand, I faced a locked door and blew out a breath. After reading my privileges, it opened, and I stepped into the room, detachedly scanning it for threats. The only one I saw was Korix. 

 In the time it had taken me to get here, he’d changed from a hospital gown to his typical black clothing, and he was sitting on the gurney, curling his fingers around its edge, while the medic fussed over him. Mother Time, I’d never seen him so distracted before. He had yet to assess who’d joined him, something he typically did the second someone entered the room. 

 “I’ve got it from here. Thank you,” I told the medic. “Go see shukusen Talira.” 

 She glanced askance at me, but on viewing my empty stare, she scurried away. Korix never moved, blankly gazing at nothing, which was concerning. From what I’d seen earlier, I’d thought the damage done to his brain wouldn’t result in severe symptoms, but perhaps I’d been wrong. Either way, I waited by the door, guarding my avenue of escape. 

 “Kuvesk,” Korix softly said. 

 Oh, good. His brain wasn’t fried. 

 “Evushk,” I said. 

 Sighing, Korix hunched on himself. 

 “I don’t have a protocol for this,” he said to his thighs. 

 Seconds ticked by with the silence between us as viscous as the stasis field outlining his body. When Korix moved, my fingers twitched on my rifle, but he only leaned back with the ceiling having become his fascination. 

 “Did she send you to verify if I’m free?” he asked. 

 I didn’t have an answer for him. He should already know it. 

 “Of course she did,” he said. 

 He shook his head, making his black curls bounce. 

 “Echo one seven zero whiskey charlie. That when my work is done, the Collective may never know the spark of my soul. Echo one seven zero whiskey charlie.” 

 Blinking, I analyzed this strange string of words, and when I gained no meaning from them, I assumed he’d spoken them for Talira’s benefit. Did that mean I could go? I didn’t like occupying the same room as him when I was in mission mode like this. 

 “For you, kuvesk,” Korix continued. “I know the secret desire that you’ve held for your whole life. I’ve known it from the moment we met, and I’ve not once spoken of it to another person. The only time I revealed it was when I wrote a note for you, one that I left lying in a gift you brought home years ago. It’s one of the last things I did before… before this.” 

 It was him! Only Korix knew the mistake that I’d made when openly speaking with him during his ‘kidnapping’.  

 Unless the Ancient could read his memory. If it was still using Korix, it could be playacting right now, manipulating me with a pretty story. 

 Rubbing his face, Korix said, “It’s the best I can do. Until this argument with the Ancients is settled or we learn more about them, you’ll wonder if I’m me. You and Talira must decide if you want to risk letting me help, but if I’m going back into stasis, I’d prefer it if that happened sooner rather than later.” 

 I could do nothing more here. Without a word, I walked out the door, not even a little upset that he’d never looked at me. 

 Talira was waiting for me outside, thank Mother Time. I hadn’t been sure how I’d secure Korix while returning to her. At least with us here, he’d have a hard time getting past the door, if he tried to escape. 

 “What do you think?” she asked. 

 I thought that the next few weeks would be much more difficult than I’d expected. 

 Leaning against the wall, I said, “He made a good point. It doesn’t matter what secrets he tells us. He won’t gain our trust, not completely. Until we can be sure that we’ve scoured the Ancient from his brain, he’s a loose cannon, one that could easily backfire on us. So, do you believe his expertise is worth the risk of him turning traitor again?” 

 “I asked what you thought,” Talira said. “Don’t turn the question back on me.” 

 I thunked my head against the wall, making stars flare for a second. 

 “Right now, I can’t handle what we’re facing, even with the resources already at my disposal. It’s too much for me,” I said before drawing my lips into a thin line. “When everything’s said and done, though, all that matters is whether letting him run free will serve Lutov, and I think that it will, if only because I need him. I need his help, shukusen.” 

 Talira was quiet for a moment, probably considering my argument. 

 “You want his help, even if you’ll have to watch his every move?” she asked. 

 She wanted me to act as his warden? Me. His student and partner. 

 “Even then,” I said. 

 Squinting, Talira frantically scratched her scalp before throwing her hands overhead.  

 “All right. I’m halfway convinced that he’s telling the truth anyway, given what he said,” she said. “The code he recited for me is buried deep, specifically for cases like this. No Lokke Vitras would otherwise share their greatest desire, not out loud like he did at least.” 

 Greatest… desire? Korix didn’t want to join the Collective when he died? He wanted to just… disappear? 

 “What’s yours, by the way?” Talira asked. “Your evushk mentioned it while you were speaking.” 

 I was already frozen inside, and yet, her question still made me go cold. How was that possible? 

 Meeting her eyes, I said, “Something that I won’t share with you unless you require it, shukusen.” 

 Talira fluttered her fingers in a wave. 

 “Fine, fine. When you become the Lokke Vitras, I’ll learn it anyway, so it doesn’t matter if you tell me now,” she said. “So, what do we do next?” 

 She was asking me? 

 “I’d like Phen and Feena to join us,” I said. “Before I left base, I started them down an avenue of investigation that should yield results. It’s about time we collate what we know.” 

 Talira gave me a funny look, one that I didn’t understand. What did she dislike about my plan? 

 “You want to invite a member of House Zan into our headquarters for that discussion?” she asked. 

 Oh. One of these days, I’d remember that every person besides me cared about the House system. 

 “I want to extend an invitation to a young man who’s spent far more time on research than me in recent days, someone who’s more likely to concoct a plan from our gathered information than anyone else I know,” I said. “Don’t deny Lutov a chance for salvation because it might come from another House.” 

 “I- You’re right.” 

 Hell, Talira had sounded surprised. Why would anything I’d said have surprised her? 

 “Ok. I’ll get my other two grandchildren here,” she said. “Any other creative ideas for me?” 

 I wished I could say yes but… 

 “No. Merely a request.” 

 Raising an eyebrow, Talira asked, “Privacy?” 

 Of course she’d known what I wanted. 

 “If that’s acceptable.” 

 “It is,” Talira said before starting down the hall. “Please, remember where you are, though.” 

 “I always do,” I said under my breath. 

 Talira disappeared, but despite how much I wanted to move, I couldn’t. Stuck in place, I was vividly aware of the reunion waiting behind the door beside me, and without emotions to distract me, I realized how difficult it would be. Part of me screamed to abandon it and run home to Leski, even with all of her associated problems, but I wouldn’t let myself do that.  

 I loved Korix. Being with him was worth every hardship. 

 So, I stepped through the door.

Chapter 74: Bittersweet Reunion
When I eased into the room, Korix was sitting on the floor with his knees up and his head in his hands, and my stomach dropped. 

 “No, no, no!” I said, flying across the distance to him. “Don’t do that!” 

 Dropping to my knees, I tugged on his wrists, revealing a tear-streaked face. Holy hell, he was crying. I… How was this happening? What did I-? 

 “You’re not allowed to do this,” I growled. 

 Wiping my thumb along his cheek, I flicked a tear off of it. 

 “I forbid you from feeling guilty.” 

 Taking hold of his head, I tilted it toward me, forcing him to meet my eyes. 

 “I worked too damn hard to save you. You can’t lose yourself to self-pity now. I-” 

 Mother Time, I needed him. 

 As I swooped down, my lips came within centimeters of his before I was knocked flat on my back, and when I climbed to my feet, Korix was on the other side of the room with his eyes glistening and his face red. 

 “You don’t understand!” he shouted. “You’re too inexperienced to understand.” 

 “Ko.” 

 “I’ve betrayed everything I believe in. I endangered Lutov. I betrayed you.” 

 “Ko!” 

 “I hurt you. Really, truly hurt you, not like the necessary pain that I’ve given out throughout your training. I almost kill-!” 

 “KORIX! WILL YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP?” 

 Flinching away from me, Korix closed his mouth, and I was seeing so much red that I almost didn’t notice his reaction. Fire was roiling in my gut, and I wanted to strangle him, but hell. 

 How his hurt cut wounds in me. 

 “Mother Time, Ko. So, you hurt me. So, you endangered Lutov,” I said. “Last time I checked, the homeland’s still here, and I’m still standing. I will always get back up, so long as my spark of a soul remains with you.” 

 “I-” 

 Choked, Korix looked like he’d protest, and a roar built in my ears, only matched by the one in my voice. 

 “Damn it! I don’t care how guilty you feel about what you did to me. I have been sick out of my mind with worry for the last two and a half weeks because of you. I need you, Ko, and no one’s watching us right now. Get over here, and kiss me.” 

 Korix had fallen back a step with his face having gone slack, but I didn’t relent. I glared at him with trembling fists until something passed over him. Until he sped to me in a blink. Until his warmth was around me and softness was on my lips, but his mouth was so insistent that I tasted blood in it, and my back arched. 

 “Please,” I begged. “Mother Time, please.” 

 Again, I was left in the cold with Korix several paces away from me, and as much as desire oozed from him, something about him read broken. Lifeless. 

 “No. Much as I want to, I can’t believe you want this,” he said. “You’re not thinking straight. I won’t let you do something that you’ll regret-” 

 With House Kolb speed aiding me, I barreled Korix into a wall, pushing my forearm into his throat with my teeth bared. 

 “Don’t you dare tell me what I want,” I hissed. 

 And I roughly kissed him, smacking his head into the wall. Korix tried to push me away, but after stunning the nerves in one of his arms, I pinned the other one before pressing my lips to his again. He struggled for quite a while, but I never let up, doing what I could to communicate everything that was boiling over in me. 

 When he surrendered, I cautiously backed off. 

 “All right. I get it,” he said. “I- Mother Time, this is distracting. Can I have some room?” 

 “No,” I said, pressing my body further into him. 

 “O…” 

 His lips parted with his eyes unfocusing, and I smirked. Good. Maybe I’d gotten him to forget our problems, if only for a moment. 

 “Zae—” 

 Holy shit. Korix’s voice briefly faded to fuzz at the sound of my name on his tongue. 

 “—don’t know if I’m up for everything that you usually demand,” he was saying when I could focus. 

 “Oh, Ko.” 

 Releasing my hold on his neck, I cupped his face. With barely any space left between us, I leaned my forehead on his. 

 “You’re always in control. When working. When at home. When with me,” I said. “Why don’t you let me take over? Just this once.” 

 Lifting his hand, Korix trailed his fingers over my chin and ear and hair, and I shivered. 

 “Is that what you want?” he asked. 

 “Yesss…” I said with my jaw shuddering. 

 Closing my eyes, I leaned into his hand, and after a brief, blissful moment of pressure, Korix ripped it away. 

 “Then, take control.” 

 Never had three words mushed me so thoroughly into the animal that inhabits us all. Growling, I took hold of Korix’s hair and neckline, jerking on both, and I sank my teeth into his shoulder. I poured all of my repressed hurt through that bite, even as I dragged my palm over his chest and side and hip. Damn, it was all so enticing. 

 I only loosened my teeth’s squeeze when I tasted iron, giving the briefest of glances to pinpricks of red before transferring that taste to Korix. Motionless to this point, he squirmed, or he did so until I slipped my hand under his waistband. Then, he gasped. While my lips contorted against his mouth, he clung to me, and fuck, if I didn’t like that. 

 Backing off, I said, “Again?” 

 I heard Korix gulp with the lick of his lips wetting mine. 

 “Are you sure no one’s watching us?” he asked. “I did my own check but…” 

 Talira’s warning overrode anything else he might say, and untangling my fingers from his hair, I requested my rifle, making the most minimal of motions to shoot each of the room’s recorders. And all the while, I kissed Korix. 

 When I next gave him space, his eyes had dilated to thin rings of gray bordering blown-wide pupils. 

 “Mother Time, Zae,” he said. “That’s-” 

 When he said nothing more, I chuckled. 

 “I know.” 

 In some ways, being with Korix was easier than sex with Leski or any other person. I didn’t need to hold back, not as much at least. Once he was ready, I could fuck him to my heart’s content. Each of us knew what the other one needed without having to ask, and even if I still concentrated on him, I didn’t have to. 

 As Korix’s breathing went from erratic to ragged, he reached to spread his fingers over my cheek. That soft touch took a pent-up, ravenous ache in me and ruptured it, carrying me away in its flood. 

 It was everything I’d wanted. I was empty and yet full, satiated and yet, utterly and deeply needy with the most exquisite pleasure flushing through my body. It was heightened when Korix threw his head back to land between my neck and shoulder. 

 I was barely aware of sinking to my knees and back, barely aware of his body squeezing mine to the floor. It was all ok. I was fine, he was fine, and finally, we were together again. 

 This nearly equaled the weight of the problems piled on us. 

 With time seeping to a crawl around us, we couldn’t move, and I clung to Korix, expecting him to evanesce, to shatter and dissolve beneath the sway of what had ruled him, with each heartbeat.  

 I didn’t care that he was crushing me. It was better than breathing freely when he was gone.  

 I didn’t care that my hand, plastered against his waist, was sticky. It was better than wondering if I’d touch him again. 

 I didn’t care that my eyes were burning so badly that I was about to become an emotional, teenage boy again. I would become the fool if it meant that he stayed with me. 

 “Well, then,” Korix said. 

 The rumble of his voice into my body made me hold him tighter. He didn’t seem to notice. 

 “That was…” he continued. “Losing control to you is… nice. I don’t know if I could do such a thing with anyone else, but I’d like to try it again with you. If you’d like.” 

 He rolled off of me, and the ridiculous thought that he’d vanish if I wasn’t touching him had me scrambling on my hands and knees to follow him. Sitting up, Korix lifted an eyebrow, glancing between my fingers, digging into his leg, and my face. 

 “I’m guessing you’re not in mission mode anymore,” he said. 

 “That wasn’t obvious the second I walked in here?” I shakily asked.  

 Pursing his lips, Korix spread his legs, patting the ground between them, and I crawled to sit there, leaning back against his chest. He wrapped his arms around my shoulders, and taking hold, I buried my face in them. 

 I didn’t know why I was so fragile right now. This spillover of panic and need went against everything that I’d been taught, but I couldn’t bring myself to shove it below the surface. Not yet. 

 We stayed here for a while with me ever-hovering over the precipice of a breakdown. Every so often, I neared an unwanted pitch forward, and only Korix, tightening his arms around me, dragged me back from the edge. 

 “How do you know I’m me?” he asked. 

 He lowered his nose into my hair, letting his breath billow against my scalp. 

 “When you kissed me, how did you know that you weren’t about to sleep with an alien being, using my body?” 

 At the end of that question, his voice took on a rough edge, and I came up for air, momentarily putting everything ripping through me to the side. When I considered our situation from his perspective, the resulting reflection made me wince. Even still, I had to be honest with him. 

 “As the acting Lokke Vitras, I cannot believe you’re back until I find definitive proof to support it,” I said. “I have to question everything you do, always believing that you’re an Ancient that’s manipulating the hell out of me.” 

 I gave him a moment, certain he’d push me away, but when he didn’t, I continued. 

 “As Zaeden, I just know. I don’t know how else to put it. Something about the spark of your soul has always called to mine and… I know how contradictory that seems, given that I went five fucking years without noticing something was wrong… Shit.” 

 Diving into the safety of his arms, I breathed him in, letting his scent relax me. 

 “I have my doubts, Ko. I’m not an idiot,” I said, “but I choose to believe that you’re telling the truth because what else am I supposed to do? Spend the rest of our lives wondering if my Korix is looking at me from those eyes, my Korix is telling me… I can’t live with such worry. Can you understand that?” 

 The wash of air through my hair stopped, and the arms around me constricted until my bones ground against his. Had I upset him? What I’d said probably wasn’t what he’d wanted to hear, but it was the truth. I wouldn’t lie to him. 

 “I never meant to hurt you,” Korix said. “I remember it, Zae. The look on your face when you realized what I’d done. Ordering those House Cerullis members to kill you. My heart still stops every time I recall how deeply I drove my blade into your side. And now, there’s this. I never considered the emotional wreckage that I’d need to help you get through. I’m… s-” 

 Slipping free of Korix’s embrace, I slid down his chest until I could see him before pressing a finger to his lips. 

 “It wasn’t all bad. I learned a lot while fighting you.” 

 When Korix tried to speak, I pressed my finger harder against his mouth while a grin came to life. 

 “But more importantly, losing you, if only for a time, made me realize how much I… can’t love you,” I said, “and once this is over, I want to discuss something I’ve been considering over the last two weeks.” 

 Lowering my finger, I waited for Korix to say it, and he obliged. 

 “What’s tha-?” 

 “Also, regret has no place in you, remember?” I interrupted. “Shame on you for making me remind you, Lokke Vitras.” 

 As mirth bubbled in him, he let it pour out of his mouth. Damn, I loved this view. Idly, I marked the memory of it in my array so I could return to it later. 

 “Zae, you- you-” 

 Smoothing his hand along my face, Korix took hold of my wrist, lifting it to kiss my knuckles. 

 “Do you know how much you save me?” he asked. “I should be long gone by now, but you… your presence, your light, and your hopefulness have sustained me for years. I can never repay you for it.” 

 Closing his eyes, he took a deep breath before lowering my hand. 

 “Talira has made you the acting Lokke Vitras? I should have expected as much, given everything,” he said. “How’s that going?” 

 “Not badly. Not… great,” I said. “Can I ask you something?” 

 His earlier words, however sweet they’d been, had reminded me of a potential problem. 

 “You’re always welcome to ask,” Korix said. 

 “Ok.” 

 Rising from my Korix-shaped pillow, I spun to face him, clasping my hands in my lap. 

 “Talira showed me something earlier, something she brushed off after realizing what she’d done,” I said. “The Ancients control people through their emotions by manipulating the production of hormones in the brain. So, for the medics to remove the Ancient inside of you, they had to take scans of your head.” 

 Korix had gone stiff with his eyes hooded. He knew where I was going with this, but I couldn’t stop. I didn’t care if this was something he wanted to keep private. It could affect us both, and so, I deserved to know about it. 

 Pulling the mentioned scan out of my array, I projected it into the air between us, pointing at the black splotches in it. 

 “What are these?” 

 With blood draining from his face, Korix swayed in place, steadying himself with a hand on the floor. 

 “Its progression has accelerated,” he croaked. “I thought-” 

 Swallowing hard, he flicked his eyes to mine. 

 “I should have said something before now,” he said. “I didn’t want to worry you before there was a problem but-” 

 Someone requested a direct connection in my array, and lifting a finger to pause Korix, I accepted it. 

 “Zae-zae, why are the recorders in your room reading nonfunctional?” Talira asked. “Do we have a problem?” 

 “No, shukusen. You told me to remember where I am, yes?” I said. “I was following your advice, shooting the recorders while doing… other things.” 

 A long sigh rattled over the connection. 

 “Those’ll be a pain to replace,” Talira said, “but that’s for another day. You might want to make yourself presentable, little ass. I sent your siblings your way not long ago.” 

 “…Fuck.” 

 Laughing, Talira cut the connection, and I frantically scanned the room for our clothes before scrambling on all fours to retrieve them. 

 “Does Talira know-?” Korix asked. 

 Shoving his slacks at him, I said, “Get dressed. My brother and sister are coming.” 

 Clicking his teeth together, Korix jumped to his feet. We’d both started dressing when the door behind us opened.

Chapter 75: Once Out, Always Out
Walking into the room, Feena froze when she saw Korix and me before shoving Pheniks into the hall, shutting and locking the door behind him. Thank Mother Time for her quick reflexes. My brother seeing the Lokke Vitras and his replacement in such a compromising situation would have been… unfortunate. 

 As it was, I could only grin as I watched the crimson flush creeping toward Feena’s hairline. Korix didn’t look nearly as amused, sliding into the disturbing calm that always preceded his fall into mission mode. Catching his eye, I shook my head while buttoning my slacks. 

 “She already knows,” I said, “and no, I didn’t tell her.” 

 A bit of warmth infused Korix, although he still looked poised to attack. 

 “How?” was all he said. 

 I snatched my shirt from where I’d dropped it, knowing the question hadn’t been for me. Considering I was in the room, I was curious how Feena meant to answer it, and as expected, I caught her flicking her eyes to me while her posture stiffened. 

 “I didn’t guess the nature of your relationship, if that’s what you’re worried about. I doubt anyone else suspects a thing,” she said. “Our friends in the Easter Reaches told me.” 

 The Eastern… Reaches? Feena wasn’t doing a great job of clarifying things- 

 “Ah. I wasn’t aware that the relationship between me and Zae had anything to do with that.” 

 Halfway through donning my shirt, I jerked my head toward Korix, which almost tore its cloth. He’d returned to relaxed, or what would appear relaxed to me. With no other questions, he finished getting dressed as if no one else was in the room with him, and I could only stare until he glanced at my awkward maze of limbs and shirt. Rapidly blinking, I moved to correct the mess. 

 “The connection is tangential, but it exists, or so I’ve been told,” Feena said. “My apologies for intruding. I should have expected-” 

 “Oh, stop,” I groaned. “How many times have you walked in on me like this now?” 

 “Too many times to count,” Feena said, “and I wasn’t apologizing to you, ya brat.” 

 “Hey!” 

 Finished with dressing, Korix skirted the room’s stasis field to cautiously rest a hand on Feena’s shoulder, squeezing it. 

 “You never need apologize to me, Chosen,” he said. 

 …Chosen? That was new. What was it supposed to mean? 

 Even knowing it would get me nowhere, I looked to Feena for clarification, and as expected, when she was done ogling Korix like he’d learned how to use magic, she shook her head to clear it. 

 “Thank… you,” she said before clearing her throat. “Forgive me, my Lokke Vitras and acting Lokke Vitras, but are you ready to return to the real world? I’d like to grab Phen, our House Zan brother, before he does anything stupid while out there alone.” 

 “Oh, hell,” I said. 

 Korix and Feena were out the door by the time I’d crossed the room, and when I joined them, my stomach clenched. My brother wasn’t waiting outside, but as soon as I began reviewing recorder feeds, I slapped my face, dragging my hand over my nose and chin. Korix was already moving, but still, I called over my shoulder as I turned to our right. 

 “This way.” 

 Two doors down, I swung into a room identical to the one we’d just left. Pheniks was standing beside an amber capsule, extending a finger to poke it, and racing to him, I slapped his hand down. 

 “Don’t touch the stasis field, you idiot,” I hissed. 

 “So, it is a stasis field?” Pheniks asked with his eyes still glued to it. “I wasn’t sure.” 

 “And you decided that touching it was a good way to find out? Do you know what would have happened if I hadn’t stopped you?” I said. “Damnit, Phen! You’re up for House Zan’s First Stratus position! You should know proper safety procedures by now.” 

 Grimacing, Pheniks faced me. 

 “You’re right,” he said. “I was curious. You know how I get.” 

 With my hands pressed to my head, I came close to screeching my frustration at my brother, but fortunately, Korix saved me. 

 “You’re exactly as I imagined, Second Stratus,” he said. “When we’re home, your brother often talks about his siblings. He’s portrayed you quite well.” 

 Rolling his eyes, Pheniks turned toward Korix. 

 “You could have said you brought-” 

 As he fell silent, he cocked his head, narrowing his eyes. 

 “Oh. The Lokke Vitras. Of course.” 

 Glancing back at me, he raised an eyebrow as if asking why I hadn’t said something, and I was punched so hard by the dread in the room that I thought I’d be sick. I didn’t feel it, of course. All of it was coming from Feena. 

 “Phen…” she said in a cautious tone. 

 With a frown, Pheniks said, “What? If he means to hurt me, I can hardly stop him, and I have no doubt that he has a similar temperament to Zae, otherwise our brother would have vanished ages ago. If so, he doesn’t want my deference, not that I can blame him. All that hero-worship must get exhausting. Although, I suppose I should greet him? Stop talking about him like he’s not here… hmm.” 

 Facing Korix, who’d been watching all of this in his stoic way, Pheniks marched to him, extending a hand. 

 “Hello,” he said. “I’m Pheniks, as you already know, and you’re the Lokke Vitras, as everyone in Lutov knows. It’s nice to meet you.” 

 Hesitantly, Korix took my brother’s hand to stiffly shake it, and with a huff, I crossed my arms. 

 “Stop holding back, Ko,” I said. “These are my siblings. They’ll be a part of my life for a long time yet. You might as well learn to relax around them, at least a little.” 

 With a sharp inhale, Korix glared at me, and while I shrugged, Pheniks glanced my way, wrinkling his nose. 

 “His name’s Ko?” he asked. “Huh. I thought it would be something more intimidating.” 

 Korix was teetering. I could see it. My years-long influence on him and the extreme stress of the last few weeks—days to him—threatened to demolish the indomitable defenses that guarded his true self, and I was determined to make them come down. 

 Lifting my eyes to the heavens, I shook my head, mouthing ‘brothers’, and one of the most beautiful sounds I’d heard in my life filled the room. For the span of two breaths, I reveled in it, this bouncing display of joy that I’d only twice enjoyed before, but then, I examined the results of my handiwork. 

 Feena was plastered against a wall with her rifle in her hand and her eyes bulging while Pheniks had scrunched his face up. They were both staring at Korix, who was supporting himself with a hand on the wall. Bent double over an arm, he was trying to control his body’s shaking, and simultaneously, my siblings tore their eyes off of this impossible sight, looking to me for help. 

 I just smiled at them. 

 With a desperate gasp, Korix slammed his back into the wall before sinking to the floor. He loosely sprawled across it with tears streaming from his eyes, and almost, he tipped to the side as well, but when his laughter diminished in intensity, I strode to stand over him with my hands on my hips. 

 A quiet that I found comforting descended, one that probably raised goosebumps on my siblings’ skin, and after a moment, Korix waved for help up. I offered him a hand, but on taking it, he yanked on it, dragging me to my knees. Straightening, he threw his arms around my neck before kissing me. I was so frozen by shock that I didn’t get to return it before he retreated, closing his eyes while resting his forehead on mine. 

 “I can never, never love you, Zae,” he said. 

 “I know.” 

 It seemed that with this secret shared once, we couldn’t stop from doing it again. Much like we couldn’t stop doing each other. Oh, well. We’d adjust. Again. 

 Taking hold of Korix’s head, I kissed his brow before rocking to my feet. When I offered him help up this time, he got a cautionary look, but grinning, he only used my hand to haul himself to his feet. Once he was stable, though, I didn’t let him take his hand back. It was mine now, and I was never letting go. 

 “Your siblings,” Korix said. 

 Feena had crossed her arms and ankles, pressing her back to the wall with an indulgently annoyed look in place, but Pheniks looked outright pissed. Oh, hell. Please, say he wouldn’t turn into an unwittingly judgmental asshole with this. I sometimes forgot how much of a propensity he had for that. 

 “You’re sleeping together,” he said. “Of course you are. If he put his mind to it, Zae could seduce the least sexually inclined person into his bed.” 

 Ok. Not too bad so far. I glanced at Korix, and he grinned at me in a feral manner. 

 “I’d say there was a fair bit of seduction on both sides this time,” he said. 

 Damnit, we’d just put this fire out! Why was he stoking it again? 

 Pheniks ignored Korix, trying to drill through me with his gaze. 

 “Is he the one you were talking about the other day?” he asked. “The one who makes you… how did you put it? ‘Less of a shattered spark of a soul’. Right?” 

 When Korix raised his eyebrows, I stopped blood’s rush to my cheeks before it could heat them. Embarrassment was not something that I let others see in me, not when I could prevent it like this at least. 

 “He is,” I said. 

 And those eyebrows shot for their matching color at Korix’s hairline. I quirked one of mine, tilting my head. 

 “Don’t tell me you didn’t know,” I said in sub-vocals. 

 “Mother Time, I should have seen it.” 

 The anger in my brother’s voice dragged my focus away from Korix before I could see his response. Was Pheniks about to heap derision on us? Sure, he’d made comments about my lifestyle in the past, but he’d never meant for them to sound contemptuous. The relationship between me and the Lokke Vitras, however, might be something he disapproved of. 

 “Why didn’t I see it?” he growled, throwing his hands overhead. “I can see the connections needed to improve wait times for people idling in the Terminal but damn romantic relationships!” 

 Oh, right. This was my brother I was worrying about. 

 Moving toward Pheniks, Korix tugged his hand free of mine, but I let him have it. I’d claim it again soon enough. 

 Clapping my brother’s shoulder, Korix said, “You have my support. Once this mess is resolved, I’m not sure what position I’ll hold but-” 

 “I’m sorry,” Pheniks interrupted. “Support with what?” 

 Tensing, Korix pulled away from my brother before turning aside to pinch his nose. 

 “It’s like House Zan’s been made into a man,” he said. “Mother Time help us all.” 

 I barely kept from laughing. Even considering my limited interactions with my brother’s House, I knew Korix was right. Pheniks was the epitome of Zan. 

 Dropping his hand to his thigh, Korix said, “You have my support with your challenge. I’ll let Arion know the first opportunity I get. You’ll make an excellent First Stratus.” 

 “Ah. Yes,” Pheniks said. “Actually, I-” 

 Feena loudly cleared her throat. 

 “Fun as all of this had been, shouldn’t we get to shukusen Talira?” she said. “We need to start this meeting about the Ancients, right?” 

 I’d never seen someone tumble so quickly from happy to pained as Korix did at my sister’s words. 

 “We should, preferably before she sends the Second Strata after us. I’d rather not fight them again,” he said. “I assume one of you knows her location, so please. Lead on.” 

 Feena raced through the door as if hounds were chasing her, and with his face souring, Pheniks followed her. 

 When Korix crossed the threshold, I smoothly slid my hand into his, and as if he’d expected that, he swung me around the corner, hard enough that I stumbled into him before I could regain my balance. Passing my hand behind his back, he pressed its palm to his side before wrapping an arm around my waist. 

 Mm. This was much better. 

 We reached a set of lifts, and after putting the top floor into one of their controls, Feena stepped into it. As she rose through the ceiling, a message slid into my array. 

 Talira knows too, yes? it read. 

 I gave Korix a slight nod, and after a pause, another message came in. 

 I have no doubt you used that talented tongue of yours to argue our case. 

 Meeting his eyes, I displayed the most dazzling smile, and Korix snorted. 

 What did she say? 

 And finally, I wrote a response. 

 She’s letting us have a trial period. 

 Sighing, Korix squeezed my hand. 

 We’d better make the most of it, then. 

 He tugged me to the lift, stepping into it, and wasn’t this a relief? I could bring up the rear, as I liked. 

 At the top, Korix was there to take my hand as soon as he could. Pulling me to him, he kissed me, and this, being freely affectionate with one another in the open, gave me such a thrill that I briefly considered skipping the meeting that I’d persuaded my grandmother to call. 

 In the end, I peeled myself away from Korix, striding with him down a foyer lined with paintings, and to me, the floor felt like it was made of springs. Mother Time, I could swear that helium had replaced my innards because at the slightest nudge, I’d drift into the clouds. 

 My grandmother looked the opposite of how I felt. A still statue behind her desk, she was tapping its surface in time to my footfalls, following my path to her with a glower. Feena and Pheniks had already found seats, which left me and Korix with… 

 One. There was one chair left. Was Talira punishing us for something, and if so, why not leave us with nothing to sit on? 

 As we came closer, I angled to stand behind the chair, like a good Lokke Vitras to come should, and Korix let me. At first. As he sat, however, he tugged me in front of him. Taking hold of my hips, he guided me down onto his leg before encircling my waist, ducking his head to scoop my arm around his neck. With a happy sigh, he nestled into me, and when I could think straight, I relaxed on him, kicking my foot along the floor. 

 “I see you’re feeling better, my Lokke Vitras,” Talira sourly said. 

 Humming, Korix said, “Much better, yes.” 

 An odd look passed over Talira’s face before she settled into cranky once more. 

 “I also see that I’m not the first to learn about you two,” she said, eyeing me. 

 Before I could open my mouth to protest, Pheniks butted in. 

 “Actually, I found out about them maybe five minutes ago.” 

 “And I’ve known for a while,” Feena said, “but I didn’t learn it from them.” 

 At Talira’s glare, I shrugged. 

 “They’re family,” I said. “Even if they hadn’t learned about us in this way, I’d have told them unless you forbade it.” 

 Hiding her face, Talira groaned. 

 “You’re either going to be the best or worst Lokke Vitras that Lutov’s ever seen,” she said with her voice muffled. “Right now, I’m thinking it’ll be the latter.” 

 …Ouch. 

 “Much as I like the attention all of you are paying me, we should move into discussing why we’ve gathered this afternoon. The Ancients,” I said. “Who wants to go first?”

Chapter 76: A Drawn-Out Explanation
Talira’s office went unnaturally still, and glancing between its occupants, I clicked my tongue. 

 “I suppose I’ll repeat what we know first,” I said. “The Ancients are a non-human race that we’ve somehow first learned about within the last few weeks. They can manipulate a human through their emotions, but other bodily functions, namely pain, can be influenced as well, all after they’ve obtained control of the brain. This takeover occurs during moments of emotional vulnerability.” 

 Pheniks and Feena pointedly avoided looking at Korix. The Lokke Vitras shouldn’t have weaknesses, and I’d poked at an enormous one in the man who currently held the role. They didn’t want to stir the pot further, but Talira had no such problem. 

 “How did you let that happen?” she asked. 

 Korix’s shift in posture was like an earthquake to me, no matter how small it truly was, but when he spoke, he sounded as controlled as ever. 

 “You know how. I warned you that something like this might happen years before I took Zaeden as my kuvesk,” he said. “You sent me on a mission too quickly after the Crescent Incident, and yes, I should have told you about my situation, but you were the Lokke Vitras before me, my shukusen. You should have known that I wasn’t ready for a mission without me having to share.” 

 My siblings had never seen the Lokke Vitras speak with his superior when social expectations weren’t guiding his behavior, so they gaped a Korix’s borderline insolence. It was normal for me. Well, normal except for the fact that I was sitting on him. 

 Reaching up, I tousled his hair, and he relaxed a fraction, which had the daggers that Talira was staring at him reducing to mere scalpels. 

 “Maybe you’re right. It doesn’t matter for our discussion, though,” she said. “Phen. Feena. Your brother said something about an avenue of investigation that you followed this morning?” 

 “You mean with Niklaus?” Feena said. “Yeah, we got some interesting information from him. Phen, you want to take this?” 

 At the mention of Niklaus’ name, a jolt had run through Korix, which made me frown. Did he know the man? That might explain why Niklaus had always been more relaxed around me than most people were. How did they know one another, though? 

 Clapping his hands together, Pheniks scooted to the edge of his seat. 

 “According to our resident founder, these Ancients have, as we expected, been around for a while, but I don’t think we realized exactly how long,” he said. “Niklaus claims that he doesn’t know much about our enemy. He says that in the pre-Founding era, they were a known quantity, much like our understanding of gravity is today. Something that we’re aware exists but that no one, besides people like Lord Asher Cerullis, cared to learn about. Small subsets of the pre-Founding nations were fascinated with the Ancients, but this manifested more as… worship, treating them like gods, than scientific curiosity. The reason for their strange reaction? The length of time that the Ancients have existed.” 

 As Pheniks fell silent, a troubled expression took hold of him, and unease sent a ripple over my skin. When it came to problems, my brother never let anything but fascination rule him, usually at least. 

 Dreading the answer, I said, “Which is?” 

 Pheniks didn’t move, simply rubbing his hands together, so Feena took over. 

 “I’ll qualify this by saying that it’s unverified. We can’t know if Niklaus is telling the truth or if the Ancients lied to his people,” she said. 

 She made sure we understood before plunging forward. 

 “The Ancients have existed from the dawn of reality, from before humanity’s birth, from before the Collective’s formation.” 

 Feena grimly looked on as those of us with connections to the vaunted Lokke Vitras role absorbed the enormity of what she’d said. True to form, none of us showed the terror that we each must be experiencing, never moving away from neutral expressions except to blink. 

 The only indication of our shock was how long we were taking to respond, and as the pause stretched into awkward territory, I hummed, as if in contemplation. 

 “That’s… intimidating,” I said. 

 “Intimidating?” Pheniks said. “Zae, have you been hit in the head too many times? This is-” 

 “Manageable,” Korix interrupted. “My kuvesk and I will handle it, as we do with all threats to Lutov.” 

 I did not jerk incredulous eyes to him. How would we manage a problem this ridiculous? Plus, Korix had to know that he’d act only as a consultant on this extended mission. Terrifying as I might find it, I’d be in the lead this time. 

 I knew why he’d said that, though. At his words, Feena and Pheniks had relaxed to a degree, my brother more so than my sister. Our society was conditioned to believe that the Lokke Vitras was invincible, and that conditioning was strong. Mother Time help them if they ever learned how fallible we were. 

 “Perhaps shukusen Talira has something that will help,” I said. “Did your people find anything useful in the wealth of information that I brought home with me?” 

 Wincing, Talira said, “They recovered relevant facts, yes. I don’t know how much it’ll help.” 

 “All information about our enemy is useful,” Korix said. “The more we know, the greater chance we have of finding an exploitable weakness.” 

 At that, I hid a smile. Oh, Leski would have a few choice words to say on that subject, but if she’d known where they came from, perhaps she’d understand my decisions while in the House Cerullis facility. Granted, my choices hadn’t been made solely because of what Korix had taught me, but she didn’t need to know that. Not any more than she already did, at least. 

 “Who cares about usefulness?” Pheniks asked. “I want to learn more about these fascinating creatures. Knowledge about them is its own reward.” 

 Several snorts escaped from the House Kolb members in the room, whether freely or into their hands, as they retained their laughter. I didn’t even try. Struggling to balance on my perch, I let delight ring from me, waving reassurances at Pheniks when he closed off. 

 “You’re amazing, little brother,” I gasped. “We’re sitting here, worrying only about our survival, and you. Mother Time, you see the wonder in the enemy we face.” 

 I shook my head. 

 “Whoever in House Drav approved our parents’ application for you, I’m grateful to them.” 

 Flushing a deep red, Pheniks mumbled something unintelligible, shooting his eyes to the ceiling, and at this display, Feena and Talira chuckled while Korix rubbed my side. 

 “Shukusen, maybe ease Phen’s suffering?” Feena said. 

 “I can make that happen,” Talira said. “We were discussing what my people found in Zae’s gifted info dump, yes?” 

 A chorus of affirmatives answered her with Pheniks’ only a little strained. 

 “Some of you may know this, but over the last three decades or so, House Cerullis has focused its studies on our planet’s atmosphere. I don’t know what started this fixation, but their discovery of the Ancients is what retained it,” Talira said. “From their reports, we think Cerullis first stumbled upon them about twenty-seven years ago. According to that House, they are beings of pure electricity contained by a shell of condensed water vapor, one that’s coated with a phospholipid bilayer. There’s more to it, of course, but for our purposes, the Ancients are incorporeal cloud people.” 

 Once she’d fallen quiet, Pheniks said, “Fascinating.” 

 As I observed the rapture spreading through my brother, I found myself jealous of him. He didn’t see what we warriors did. 

 “How the hell do we kill them?” Feena asked. 

 The horror in her voice echoed in me, but I suppressed it, reaching for an answer, any answer, to her question. 

 “Could we dissolve their insulators?” I asked. “Without those phospholipids to shield it, their electricity would dissipate when it touched water vapor, right?” 

 Pheniks fixed me with the most condescending look that I’d seen in a while. 

 “Don’t play dumb,” he said. “You know that we can dissolve what amounts to a cell membrane. We just need the right combination of chemicals for it.” 

 “Not with these creatures,” Talira said. “They’re too fast. Cerullis has tried to kill the Ancients thousands of times before, and during every experiment, they’ve laughed at the House’s attempts.” 

 “Well, what about- about-?” 

 Hushing, Pheniks chewed on his lip with a faraway look in his eyes, and the crater in my stomach bottomed out further. If my brother couldn’t think of a solution for us, then… 

 “Killing off the Ancients might not be our only answer to this problem, and even if it is, discovering how to do it shouldn’t rest on the five of us alone,” Feena said. “We should focus on creative solutions. We know what the Ancients are and what they can do, but what’s motivating them to attack now, after thousands of peaceful years? If we learn this, we could try negotiating with them. Maybe we can work together-” 

 “That won’t work,” Korix quietly interrupted. “It’s a wonderful idea, but… it won’t work.” 

 All eyes turned to him, even mine as I twisted in place. He didn’t notice, lost in his head with his jaw clenched, but no one asked the question that I was sure we were all thinking. We waited for him to decide what to say. 

 “I remember it all,” he eventually said. “Every moment that the Ancient played with me, I was aware. I-” 

 Narrowing his eyes, Korix cocked his head. 

 “It’s difficult to describe,” he continued. “Being under its influence was like having two versions of me, equally present, in my head. There was me, as I am now, but also…” 

 He closed his eyes, as if to more accurately remember, but I knew it for the attempt to deny pain that it was. I hugged his neck, resting my head on top of his hair. 

 Softly enough that only he’d hear it, I said, “Cold Korix.” 

 I didn’t have tell him that it was ok or that he shouldn’t feel guilty. It wasn’t what he needed. He needed someone to prompt him. 

 “Yes, that’s a good way to put it,” he said. “A cold version of me.” 

 When I unfurled from around him, Korix had opened his eyes again. 

 “So, two versions of me: one as I truly am and one of the Ancient’s making,” he said. “I was each of them, and I was both and neither, but at all times, I fought myself, whether as who I am now or as cold me. This turmoil is the only reason that Xygek isn’t a bunch of smoking craters right now. But none of this is terribly important. I’m only sharing it so you’ll understand how I know this. 

 “The Ancient that was controlling me would, at times, absent my body to commune with its compatriot in Lutov. That second creature is the one that’s running the show, handing out orders and the like. It’s also the only one that knows the full plan. 

 “I never uncovered more of the plan than the part I was to play in it, but every time my Ancient returned to my body, a faint impression came with it, one that strengthened over time. It was a curious sensation because although the Ancients don’t have emotions like we do, something incredibly sad and desperate tinged the impression. 

 “I tried to reason out its cause for myself, but eventually, I just asked the Ancient what I was experiencing. And it told me what they want from us.” 

 When Korix glanced at me, I remembered a conversation that we’d held, weeks ago. 

 Licking dry lips, I said, “A home and children.” 

 With a nod, Korix said, “The way that the Ancients reproduce requires a place for their young to incubate until they’re fully formed. This is usually done in the Source, their home, but in part because of our production facilities in the Eastern Reaches, that place is falling apart. The only other way for their young to mature is- is to implant them in another safe environment. Can you guess what that might be?” 

 “Us,” Talira breathed with horror shining from her. “Holy shit, they want to use us like test tubes.” 

 “They have a right to it too,” Korix said. “It’s what the Founders promised them.” 

 Shooting to her feet, Talira shrieked, “Why would they have done that?” 

 “They were desperate,” Korix said with a shrug. “You know the tales as well as I do. I don’t blame them for making this pact, despite what we might pay for it.” 

 Talira dropped into her chair heavily enough to rock it, but her shock only half-registered with me. I was too busy looking at the problem’s many facets, turning it every which way. We were facing an enemy of terrifying capabilities, one that we couldn’t kill, and not only did they have a powerful motive behind their hostile actions, but we owed them an enormous debt. 

 As I examined our mess, only one conclusion came to mind. 

 “We’re fucked,” I said.

Chapter 77: Another Introduction
The people with me seemed to agree with my assessment. Around me, blanched faces stared into nothing, and I resisted the urge to smack them, especially Talira. She should know better. 

 “It doesn’t matter.” 

 “We have to fight anyway.” 

 Hearing Korix’s voice ring alongside mine, I grinned at him, needing to press my lips to his, but I refrained from it. For now. 

 “You’re right, of course,” Talira said. “Forgive me, my Lokke Vitras. Zaeden. For a moment, I forgot myself.” 

 Beside me, Korix said, “You’re a shukusen, Talira, not the Lokke Vitras. That role’s burdens are no longer yours.” 

 Talira cleared her throat. 

 “Yes, well. Let’s not focus on me. Now that we’ve discussed this subject into the ground, you need your marching orders,” she says. “For now, I want the four of you to relax. You can do more research if you like, but keep in mind that I want everyone fresh once I have a plan.” 

 “And what will you be doing?” Pheniks said. 

 Thank Mother Time he’d asked that question. Much as the rest of us might want to know, I doubted we’d have raised our voices. 

 “I need to consult with the other shukusenth. They should have a say in what we do, especially with regards to House Cerullis,” Talira said, “and I’ll accelerate my plans for our sister House.” 

 “Reasonable,” Pheniks said. 

 Slapping his knees, he got to his feet. 

 “If there’s nothing else, I’d like to return to The Library,” he said. 

 “Actually, there is one more thing.” 

 Joining Pheniks on his feet, Talira circled her desk and spread her arms. 

 “You and Feena give your grandmother a hug,” she said, pouting. 

 While my siblings made their farewells with many an eye roll, I reluctantly climbed out of Korix’s lap. Side by side, we waited until Feena and Pheniks had left, and then, Talira crossed her arms, tapping a finger on an elbow. 

 “I assume you already know what I’m going to say,” she said. 

 “I’m acting as the Lokke Vitras in name, but Zaeden has authority over me,” Korix said. 

 Bristling, Talira says, “Can you blame me? With the way you’ve been acting-!” 

 Korix lifted a hand to stop her. 

 “I agree with you,” he said. “Not that I’d argue with my shukusen if I didn’t.” 

 Barking a laugh, Talira relaxed. 

 “You’ve argued with me plenty before,” she said. “Why should now be any different?’ 

 Korix just shrugged, dragging another chuckle from Talira before she turned on me. 

 “Do you understand what’s expected of you?” she asked. 

 “Keep the most dangerous man I know from getting into trouble. In other words, I’m supposed to do the impossible again,” I said. “I’ll handle it.” 

 With a grin, Talira sighed. 

 “Such flippancy! But I suppose I should expect that from you,” she said. “Now. I’ve had your parents’ skycruiser brought to the landing pad on the roof. No going through the front doors this time.” 

 That was a dismissal if I’d ever heard one. 

 “Thank you, grandmother,” I said. “I hope to hear from you soon.” 

 Korix said nothing, which was typical for him, but when I started for the door, he stayed where he was. Never stopping, I accessed a recorder that I’d modified years ago, one that would give me an instant view of its feed. Without the requirement of process cracking to breach it, I gained what I needed before stepping into the foyer, which meant Talira and Korix didn’t notice my intrusion, or at least, I hoped they didn’t. 

 Thankfully, the recorders in Talira’s office caught audio as well as visuals, otherwise, this exercise would have been pointless, what with them stiffening into mission mode as soon as the door closed. I could read hardly anything from their body language. 

 “Yes?” Talira said. 

 “The scan of my brain that you showed Zaeden,” Korix said. “Is it accurate? Not something that you used to influence him.” 

 My grandmother would have done something like that? She knew how I felt about Korix! She knew what a misrepresentation of his health would have done to me… 

 Of course she would have. 

 “It’s accurate,” Talira said. “I’m sorry for revealing your secret. I thought he knew, considering-” 

 “No apology necessary. I should have explained things to him before now.” 

 Korix paused for a moment before continuing. 

 “Are my contingencies in place?” 

 For a split second, Talira’s emptiness cracked, but it quickly reasserted itself. 

 “Look at me, Korix.” 

 I nearly jumped out of my skin. Besides the time when I’d first learned it, my grandmother had never called Korix by his name, not around me at least. He had a similar reaction, even minimal as it was. 

 Once she had his attention, Talira said, “I would never, in a million years, go against your wishes with this. Your contingencies are in place, but if you insist on following this course of action, might I suggest that you let yourself live a little before…? Before. Enjoy Zae-zae. Ignore everything I taught you when it comes to that part of your life. I was wrong to stifle your natural inclinations.” 

 For once, I couldn’t read Korix at all. He’d gone as empty as a human could get, and seeing it fluttered my heart, but not in a good way. 

 “Advice acknowledged,” he said. “Your orders, my shukusen?” 

 Sighing, Talira rubbed her eyes. 

 “Go home with Zaeden,” she said. “Stay with him until further notice.” 

 With a bow, Korix said, “Yes, my shukusen.” 

 Without another word, he marched toward the door, and I withdrew from the recorder, sucking on my lip. What had that been about? 

 When Korix emerged from the office, I tried to grab his hand, my hand, but he brushed past me before I could take hold of it. I didn’t think he meant to slight me with this. In fact, I doubted anything lay behind the near miss. He’d turned inward with everything on the outside relegated to a lower level of cognizance. 

 This detachment continued throughout our short trip to the roof, only lessening after we’d climbed into my parents’ skycruiser. Korix automatically reached for the console before remembering himself. If he didn’t know the coordinates for my parents’ apartment, I’d be surprised, but for things like this, I was supposed to initiate now. It was disconcerting. 

 Korix slumped while I inputted our destination, and we lifted into the air. Once we were on our way, I unabashedly stared at him, further abusing my lip with my teeth. 

 Why had he gone so quiet? Did it have something to do with his brain scan? He had yet to explain what was wrong with him or why he was so concerned about it. And what were these ‘contingencies’ that he’d mentioned? 

 Much as I wanted to ask these questions and solve the puzzle of him, I wouldn’t, not today at least. From everything he’d revealed in Talira’s office, it was obvious that he’d been through hell for these last five years, more so than normal. 

 These last five years. 

 “Ko?” I softly said. “I need to ask something that you might not want to answer. I’m sorry for it.” 

 My fascination with him had transferred to the view outside, where shuttle and transport hulls were glistening in the afternoon sun. 

 “What is it?” Korix asked. 

 Getting the question out took me a couple of tries while my fingers tightened around themselves. 

 “Was any of it real?” I finally managed to say. “I know that what happened after the Crescent Incident was you. That first time we…” 

 The past flashed before my eyes, every beautiful moment of the night when our relationship’s dynamic had changed. When we'd let ourselves acknowledge—if not verbally—that we loved each other. 

 “But everything after that,” I continued with a lump in my throat. “Was all of it him? The cold you. The one who-” 

 Hurt me so badly. 

 “Please, Ko. I need to know if I was so blind that I didn’t notice you weren’t… you. I need to know how badly I failed you.” 

 I strained my ears for his answer, which made the time spent waiting for it interminably long. Something clunked—the divider between us lowering—and a slide of cloth over leather ended with Korix’s hip against mine. Reaching around me, he nudged my cheek until I reluctantly met his eyes. 

 “You didn’t fail me,” he said. “The Ancients may be masters at manipulating emotions, but they don’t understand them. They especially don’t understand anything associated with love. In fact, those feelings repel the Ancients, so every time you enticed me into your bed or reminded me of why I can’t love you, it fled from me. Those brief moments gave me the strength I needed to keep fighting. They’re why I lasted for as long as I did, and yes. All of it was real. 

 “Every kiss. Every discussion of our mental states that led to us lazily lying against one another or doing other things. Every time you gushed about a book that I’d recommended or I surprised you with your favorite meal. It was me, Zae. Everything.” 

 The lump in my throat was making it hard to swallow while the burn in my eyes had blurred Korix’s features, but I didn’t want him to see how much his answer had relieved me. If I did, it would show him how distressing I’d found the question. 

 “Well, good,” I said, sniffing. “I’m glad I didn’t make a complete fool of myself over these last five years.” 

 With a soft smile, Korix brushed his knuckles below my eye. 

 “You’ve never looked like a fool to me,” he said. 

 I wasn’t quick enough to stop my flush this time, so I tried to hide it instead, jerking my head forward. Korix only followed me, though. Even in our close confines, he found a way to straddle my legs, hunching so that he didn’t bang his head on the ceiling. I fully expected him to kiss me, but to my surprise, he simply laid his cheek on my shoulder with the tip of his nose brushing my neck. He ran his fingers through my hair while I circled my arms around his waist, resting my clasped hands on the small of his back. 

 “When do you think this need to touch one another will fade?” he asked. 

 “I don’t know,” I said. “I thought I’d lost you. You thought you’d killed me. Those make powerful drives for increased affection, even for us.” 

 Trapped in warmth, I should be worried, looking to free myself from this position. In fact, if it had been anyone but Korix pushing me down, I probably would have been struggling to get out, but right now, I wasn’t inclined to try. With him against me, I was the most at peace that I could possibly be. I was home. 

 Speaking of which, maybe I should start that conversation, the one that ended with me telling him about Leski. At some point, I should probably confess my new feelings for him too. 

 “Ko,” I started. 

 He clamped his mouth on my neck, and a gasp cut off anything I’d wanted to say. When he stayed in place, I released one hand’s hold on the other, digging my fingers into his back. 

 “Nothing visible, Ko,” I said. 

 A slight nip of his teeth on my neck preceded the bite of them into my shoulder, quickly relenting. I jerked anyway, unexpected as that had been, and he laughed against my skin. 

 Fine. If he was going to be like that, I could play too. I waited until he’d lifted his mouth off of my shoulder with a pleased noise coming from him, but then, my fingers were in his hair, pulling him to me. As I covered his wince with my lips, I slid my hands under his shirt, raking my fingernails over his skin. He stiffened, and near-instantly, I relented, pressing him to me instead. 

 We walked a delicate line when deliberately doing these semi-painful things. Too much and we might enter mission mode, violently defending against a perceived enemy. I’d been extraordinarily lucky that it hadn’t happened when I’d bitten him before, abandoning my usual caution by surrendering to instinct as I had. But nothing so calamitous occurred now. 

 We melted into one another with any space between our bodies unacceptable. I stretched in my seat, chasing Korix’s lips when he came up for air, but he pushed me back down. He shuffled forward while I shimmied beneath him until we were pressed hip to hip, chest to chest, shoulder to shoulder. 

 But we didn’t take it any further than this. It was enough to be as close as we possibly could in this setting. 

 Soon enough, the skycruiser landed, and I heard the last of its dings, the ones meant to warn us of our arrival. With a quiet chuckle, Korix sat up as much as he could, sweeping bright eyes over me. He was a mess with his hair sticking up in spikes and his clothing rumpled, but then, I was sure I looked the same. 

 I’d love to stay here and continue with this, basking in my own little bubble of safety, but I had responsibilities to keep, too many to count. So, sighing, I patted down Korix’s hair, getting his appearance in order, and he did the same for me, collapsing into the seat beside me once we were done. 

 When he reached to open the door, I grabbed his wrist. 

 “Before we head inside, there’s something you should know,” I said. “Do you remember that girl I danced with at the Founder’s Day Ball? The one you warned me about?” 

 Quirking an eyebrow, Korix said, “The pretty one, right? What about her?” 

 “She’s staying here,” I said, “with me.” 

 For a split second, I could swear that Korix flinched, but if he did, it was gone so quickly that I doubted myself. 

 Smirking, he said, “I see. Couldn’t resist you, could she?” 

 I rubbed the back of my neck. 

 “Actually, she did most of the attracting,” I said. “She helped me save you, for one.” 

 Korix’s smile turned brittle. 

 “She did? That’s… odd,” he said before shaking himself. “She was the unHoused woman you had with you, yes? The one in the middle of changing her features. I didn’t recognize her then, but with what you’ve said…” 

 When I nodded, Korix’s brittle smile softened slightly. 

 “I’m happy for you, Zae,” he said. “Let me know how you want to handle things.” 

 Yes… I’d never had a partner and someone I was… dating? I’d never had two people I was involved with meet before, always working to keep them separate in the past. How did one go about making an introduction like that? 

 “I will,” I said, “First, I have to make sure that she hasn’t run off. Talira would kill me if I lost her.” 

 I clambered out of the skycruiser, leaving Korix snorting a laugh behind me. When I scanned the hangar, though, my mood soured. 

 My parents were waiting by the door into the apartment, as they’d been doing every time I’d returned here in the last two weeks. Great. This would be interesting. 

 As we approached, the tense state that my parents had been holding dropped from them with mission mode donned in its stead. I’d never seen them like this, so empty and blank, and frankly, it made my skin prickle. 

 “Mom. Dad,” I said on stopping. “I have another guest with me. My apologies. I should have messaged you about him before now.” 

 “It wasn’t needed,” mom said. 

 “Our home is always open to the Lokke Vitras,” dad added. 

 They bowed to Korix, and when I glanced at him, I understood why my parents had gone so hyper-alert, besides the fact that he was in their home. He looked perfectly pleasant, presenting a congenial smile, but the warrior in me hissed at the sight of him. Why was he upset? 

 “Second Stratus Mira and Third Stratus Ximon. A pleasure to meet you in person,” he said. “Shukusen Talira often speaks of her son and his wife with pride and for good reason too. Your work in our House has always been beyond reproach.” 

 “Our thanks,” mom said. 

 Turning to her, Korix folded his hand in front of him. 

 “Ah, but we have met before, haven’t we, Mira?” he said. “A few decades ago, Talira sent you after me as a nudge to hurry my mission along. You did quite well in our fight before I took you down.” 

 Mom had fought Korix before? No wonder she and dad had always been afraid of him… and me. Huh. 

 Flushing, mom said, “High praise indeed, coming from whom it does. Please, First Stratus, make yourself at home here, and don’t hesitate to ask for anything that you might find lacking. We’re happy to serve.” 

 “Much appreciated,” Korix said. “If this is so, I’d like to ask a question.” 

 When his smile dropped off his face, my insides clenched. 

 Without waiting for my parents’ consent, Korix continued, “In our years together, Zaeden has often spoken of his brother and sister, but when you come up, he always brushes the subject off with a laugh, even knowing that I can see the hurt in his eyes. Why is that?” 

 I jerked toward him. What the fuck did he think he was doing? 

 “Evushk, far be it from me to tell you what to do,” I said, barely keeping myself from hissing, “but is this really a good use of our time?” 

 I followed this up with a message. 

 Please, let me handle this myself. 

 Before Korix could respond, dad laid a hand on my shoulder. 

 “No, the Lokke Vitras has asked a good question,” he said. “In answer, I’d say that for years, we’ve been horrible parents to Zaeden, letting fear rule us when we should have known better. We most assuredly need to make amends with him, but how we do that shouldn’t be decided by the man who stole our son from us.” 

 Ho.ly. shit. That had been brave. I knew Korix well enough to realize that he’d only respect a fit of harmless defiance like this, but dad didn’t. And still, he’d spoken up. 

 Korix took everything in, and I could tell he understood what a mistake he’d made in trying to defend me. I could also tell that he was enjoying the resulting drama from the faintest of smiles on his lips, something that had mom tugging her husband to her side. 

 “I suppose you can supersede my authority for this decision. You’re punishing yourselves enough for your mistake as it is,” he said. “And I am truly… sorry that taking Zaeden as my kuvesk proved necessary. I wish I could remain as Lutov’s Lokke Vitras until the homeland’s end, but unfortunately, that’s not to be.” 

 Had I ever heard Korix apologize before? The words had sounded forced from him, and I didn’t mean that he’d found them distasteful. I meant they’d sounded quite literally forced, extracted from where centuries of required disuse had kept them buried. 

 “We… thank you, Lokke Vitras,” mom said with a question in her voice. 

 When Korix dipped his head to them, I jumped into this break in the conversation.  

 “Forgive me, but where’s Leski?” I said. “I’d like to check on her.” 

 Like a dog with a bone, my parents leapt on the subject change. 

 “She’s the reason we were waiting for you,” mom said. “Something’s come up, but when we tried sending you a message about it earlier, it wouldn’t go through.” 

 Which meant they’d sent it while I’d been in Talira’s office. The security processes guarding that place were formidable. I should know, having cracked them before. 

 “And?” I asked. 

 “Leski’s packing,” dad said. “After Phen and Feena left for headquarters, her father insisted on seeing her. They got into another argument, and when Niklaus left, he told us that he was getting his daughter out of Xygek once he’s finished his business here.” 

 …He’d done what now? 

 “That bastard,” I said, keeping my voice cheery. “Thank you for getting this information to me as quickly as you could, dad. Mom. If you’ll excuse me?” 

 “Of course.” 

 My parents got out of my way, which was wise on their part. If they hadn’t, I might have run them over. 

 Once I was in the apartment, my rapid pace became a jog while I clenched my hands into fists. 

 “I’m going to kill him,” I said. “How dare he… how dare he?” 

 “You really like this girl,” Korix said beside me. 

 Glancing at him, I said, “Yes, I do.” 

 Then, I broke into a sprint, hoping I could reach Leski before she made a mistake that she might regret.

Chapter 78: Helping with Her Father
As we approached my room, we slowed down while a funny look passed over Korix’s face. 

 “She’s sleeping in the same bed as you?” he asked. 

 Somehow, it didn’t surprise me that he knew which of these rooms was mine. 

 “Yes. It’s easier to watch her that way,” I said. “Plus, I sleep better when someone’s in bed with me, something I almost forgot over the years, and for the last two weeks, I’ve needed that aid, what with all the research and worrying about you.” 

 “I see,” Korix said. “I-” 

 He stopped before I could sweep us inside, passing a hand over his face. 

 “This is so strange. I’m used to correcting your behavior when it contradicts what you’ll become, but not only am I unsure about whether our current circumstances make me your evushk, but your arrangement with Leski seems to be working for you.” 

 After waving a hand over me, he pinched his lips together, probably disapproving of my impatient shuffle from foot to foot. 

 With a sigh, he said, “It’s not important right now. Should I come in with you?” 

 That was a good question. From a relationship standpoint, introducing Korix to Leski when she was upset didn’t seem like a good idea, but having his support in there would most assuredly help me get through this. Having him at my back had always comforted me in the greatest of ways. 

 Also, Leski was technically under my supervision, a hostage of sorts. If she insisted on doing what her father wanted, I could use Korix’s help with restraining her. Not that I anticipated or wanted it to go that way. 

 “As in all things, I could use you,” I said, “but you don’t seem comfortable with the idea. If you’d rather wait outside, you can, so long as you know I’ll be keeping an eye on you.” 

 Because he was as much my ‘prisoner’ as Leski was. 

 With a faint smile, Korix said, “Since when has my comfort been a factor in decisions like this?” 

 I’d always considered it, but in the past, my mission or role had overridden what either of us would have wanted. I didn’t tell Korix this, though. 

 “I leave it up to you,” I said. 

 But I was secretly relieved when he entered my room after me, quickly finding a corner to stand in. I was even more grateful when I saw Leski. 

 That wonderful woman was hunched at the foot of my bed with a packed bag beside her, holding her head in one hand while she petted Ace with the other. She was trying to keep her crying quiet, but it wasn’t going well for her. The effort of it must have masked our entrance because she had yet to look up. 

 Ace saw me, though, hesitantly wagging his tail as he held perfectly still. When he saw Korix, he wriggled quite a bit, but even then, he didn’t move. Damn. He must like Leski if he’d rather stay with her than greet us. 

 Edging toward her, I hovered a hand over her shoulder, unsure if touching her was a good idea right now. 

 “Leski?” I softly said. 

 When she jerked her head up, it knocked my hand to the side, and Ace bumped his nose beneath it before scurrying past. As soon as Leski laid her eyes on me, her face went red, screwing up with effort. 

 “Zae, what-?” she stammered. “I-” 

 Cupping her chin, I wiped away a tear. 

 “Are you ok?” I asked. 

 Closing her eyes, Leski chuckled to herself before loudly sniffing. 

 “Why do you do that?” she asked. “You come in here, see that I’m about to leave after what I said earlier today, and ask whether I’m ok. Not why I’m packed or what I’m doing. Whenever there’s a problem, you always look to my happiness first, not your own. Why?” 

 What she’d said earlier…? Oh. That she was falling for me. 

 Nope. I wouldn’t let that distract me right now. 

 “I… don’t know,” I said. “I do that?” 

 She must be seeing me through rose-colored glasses. I wasn’t as selfless as she believed. I didn’t think. It wasn’t something I’d considered. 

 “You do,” Korix said. 

 When I glanced over my shoulder at him, he flashed a knowing grin at me, leaning against a wall while massaging the top of Ace’s head. 

 “You’re plenty selfish about other things,” he said, “but when it comes to your partners’ happiness, you give your all.” 

 Huh. That was… interesting. 

 “Why is he here?” Leski hissed. “He’s a traitor. He- he hurt you.” 

 Oh, shit. I’d forgotten about her animosity toward Korix, or rather, I hadn’t expected it to carry over from our time in the House Cerullis facility. Apparently, it had. 

 “Shukusen Talira and I woke him up earlier today,” I said. “We need his help, especially since our enemy’s no longer influencing him, but the small possibility that it still has a hold on him is why he’s with me. I’m keeping an eye on him.” 

 Hell, Leski was scary when she was angry. With her fair skin and freckles, the flush swarming over her face was much more vivid than it would be on another person, and against it, the silver in her hair glinted like steel in a forge. 

 “You. Keep an eye on him,” she said. “He wiped the floor with you the last time you fought!” 

 As if I’d needed that reminder. 

 This meeting of my partners was not going the way I’d wanted. Not only that but drama like this was the last thing we should indulge in right now. Unfortunately, I wasn’t sure how to get us back on track, but even still, I tried. 

 “Thank Mother Time you were there to save my life, then,” I said with a sardonic grin. 

 Leski didn’t hear me, though. She pushed past me, striding to stick a finger in Korix’s face. With a soft bark, Ace scrambled to get out of the way, but I didn’t blame him. I wouldn’t want to be in between them right now either. 

 “Because of you…” she hissed. “Because of you!” 

 Her finger crept closer to Korix’s eye, and as it moved forward, Leski spread the others until it looked like she was reaching out to him. He never retreated from this, just as he never looked away from her. 

 I wasn’t sure if he could, actually. Enough intensity was blazing from his eyes that the average person might perceive it. 

 “I didn’t want to hurt Zaeden. Every second that the Ancient manipulated me into attacking him, I fought it, but that doesn’t excuse what I did,” he said. “You’re right to dislike me, especially given the context of our association to this point, but please. Don’t ruin Zaeden’s happiness over something that we should handle solely between ourselves, not when he places so much care in maintaining yours.” 

 Sucking in a gasp, Leski released it in a hiss, lowering her hand as if it were on a marionette string. 

 “Not fair,” she said. 

 With a sad smile, Korix said, “I rarely am.” 

 I had many questions—how the hell did they know one another?—but before they could get into it again, I slid between them. Having both of them crowding me was… distracting, but I shunted that aside, focusing my attention away from newly concocted fantasies. 

 “Ok! I hate to interrupt,” I said, “but Leski, can you tell me what’s going on? My parents said something about a fight with your father.” 

 “Yes.” 

 Making a face, Leski returned to the bed, running her fingers over her bag. 

 “Your discussion with him freaked him out,” she said. “He told me to pack. Apparently, we’re going into hiding for a while.” 

 Hiding? Where did Niklaus think he could hide? Ibis? Sure, that landmass was much less monitored than the homeland, but two Lutovish would stick out like a sore thumb there, and no other place would make for a viable refuge. 

 “Is that what you want?” I asked. “If you’d rather duck out of this fight, I’d understand.” 

 Whirling on me, Leski shouted, “Hell, no. Lutov is my home as much as it’s yours, Zae. I want to stand in its defense, but… I also can’t defy my father. Not with something like this, at least. He holds more power than you might think.” 

 I didn’t doubt it. Live for as long as Niklaus had, and one was bound to gather power to oneself, unless that same person was incredibly incompetent, I supposed. Niklaus had never seemed like that, though. 

 And he’d use his power to take his daughter’s choice away from her. 

 With my fingers twitching, I said, “It seems we need to have a chat with your father, then. Remind him who he means to mess with.” 

 “I’m not asking for your help,” Leski said. 

 Oh, my determined warrior in training. Crossing to her, I slid my hands along her jaw. 

 “Good,” I said. “I wasn’t going to do it for you.” 

 I kissed her forehead. 

 “Would you like to come with me?” I asked. “This chat could get… heated, and I know that could be uncomfortable for you.” 

 For a moment, Leski went still, presumably considering the question, but soon enough, she gave a short nod, as if to herself. 

 “I want to come,” she said, “but I don’t want to confront my father. When we reach him, can I stay out of sight?” 

 Brushing my thumb over her cheek, I smiled. 

 “That’s a perfectly reasonable request.” 

 “Then… we should go now,” Leski said while making a face. “Before I change my mind.” 

 “It’s ok if you do, you know. No one here would think less of you for it,” I said, “but you’re right. We should go.” 

 As I led the way out of my room, I requested a check on Niklaus’ positional coordinates, as shown in the Lutovish network. Typically, people could only locate someone else’s array if that person had given the seeker access to it. If someone wasn’t on a person’s accepted list, the seeker couldn’t randomly check where they were, not anonymously at least. 

 But as with most things, my Lokke Vitras privileges granted me much greater access to… pretty much everything, actually. 

 As we headed toward the hangar in my parents’ apartment, Leski flat-out ignored Korix, hurriedly striding to keep him out of view, and once we’d reached a skycruiser, she climbed into the front of it without checking what our seating preferences might be. I glanced at Korix, curious about what his reaction would be, but he gave me nothing, merely settling into the skycruiser’s backseat. 

 What the hell was going on with those two? 

 After we’d lifted off, heading toward a building on the northern side of the city, I spent a few minutes considering whether I should just ask them that question. Maybe if we had their problem out in the open, we could resolve it. 

 Before I could open my mouth to try doing that, though, a message from Korix slid into my array. 

 I assume that by now, you’ve figured out I’ve known Niklaus and Leski for a while. 

 On reading that, it took me more effort than normal to continue facing forward instead of jerking my head to stare at him. I couldn’t believe he’d been the one to broach this subject. 

 It was beginning to look that way, yeah, I wrote back. You planning to tell me about that? 

 Receiving his reply took a while, but I could see why he’d taken that time after reading it. 

 Unfortunately, this is another secret I can’t tell you about, so there’s not much I can share until you’ve learned the story through other sources. What I can say is that no matter what Niklaus may tell you, I never hurt Leski’s mother. She was… a friend. Of sorts. And I was lucky enough to avoid the circumstances around her death. 

 That had to be one of the most carefully worded messages Korix had sent me in a while, but given its context, that made sense. The death of Leski’s mother? Had he been involved in that? 

 Mother Time help me if that were true. I wasn’t sure if I could reconcile him and Leski with that sort of history between them. 

 For now, I was determined not to worry about it. Since Korix wouldn’t tell me more, I’d just have to… wait. See what came out over time. Maybe I could coerce an explanation out of Niklaus in the coming confrontation. 

 Soon enough, I had to focus on the world outside the skycruiser as it slowed to a stop at a nearby landing pad. On noting where we were, I frowned. 

 Unlike in centuries past, Lutov didn’t have a true element of organized crime. Instead, people who wanted to break our laws usually did that on their own, usually in an attempt to better their position in life. There were, however, loose rings of people who operated within the gray area between legal and illegal, and those rings tended to center themselves here, in the middle tiers of Xygek’s north-western tip. 

 What was Niklaus doing here? Leski had said he meant to complete some business before retrieving her. If said business was taking place here, then… 

 That was a bad sign. 

 After getting out of the skycruiser, I met Korix’s gaze over it, and seeing a strange mix of resignation and mission mode already settling over him, I set my jaw. 

 Bending into the skycruiser, I asked, “Would you like to stay here, Leski? It would probably be more comfortable for you than waiting outside while we talk with your father.” 

 The further we kept her away from the coming conversation, the better. 

 Hunched over on herself, Leski softly said, “I don’t know…” 

 Without a word, I reached over to lower the front seat’s divider before scooching to her side. Pulling her close, I just held her for a moment, waiting for her to relax. 

 “It’ll be ok,” I said. “Evushk and I will tell your father that he can’t bring you with him into hiding. He can’t argue with the Lokke Vitras, no matter how much power he might have. He can’t take you away unless you want that.” 

 “I don’t,” Leski harshly said into my chest. “Stop suggesting that I might!” 

 Nodding, I said, “Ok. Just remember you have freedom of choice here. You can go with us to confront him. You can wait outside while we do it instead. You can stay here, if that feels easier. You can ride along in my array’s audio and visuals, if you like. Or you can take the skycruiser home, and evushk and I can take public transportation back once we’re finished. Whatever you want to do is fine.” 

 It took Leski a few moments to decide, but soon enough, she pushed me away so she could meet my eyes. 

 “You’d give me access to such a deep part of your array?” she asked. “It’s not full permissions but still. Letting me see through your eyes is… a lot.” 

 With a smile, I said, “Of course I would. You’re too good of a person to hurt me through my array, and it would only be for a short time. I wouldn’t leave that function open to access after we’re done here.” 

 “Well…” 

 Pausing, Leski blew a strand of hair out of her face. 

 “While I’m honored that you think so highly of me, I wouldn’t feel comfortable with invading your array to that depth,” she said. “So, could you let me know which building my father is in-?” 

 “Certainly,” I interrupted, already sending her the place’s coordinates. 

 Rolling her eyes, Leski continued, “I’ll watch through the recorders around there, and I think… I think I’ll stay here, if you don’t mind.” 

 “Of course I don’t.” 

 Leaning forward, I softly kissed her before pulling back with a smile. 

 “This shouldn’t take long.”

Chapter 79: That's... Super Suspicious
I closed the skycruiser’s door and headed off, waving for Korix to follow as I did. Not that he’d needed the prompt. He’d already been moving by the time I’d turned around. 

 As always, people stared as Korix and I moved across the tier, although most of the attention went to him. Unfortunately, that attention seemed even more intense than usual. This, combined with what we knew about this area of Xygek, had Korix much tenser than usual, which made me wince. 

 “Sorry I couldn’t get us closer,” I said under my breath. “I’d have set us down right outside the storage facility entrance, if I hadn’t thought it would alert Niklaus to our arrival.” 

 Shaking his head, Korix said, “Don’t apologize. You did the right thing.” 

 “That doesn’t change the fact that this isn’t helping with either of our mental states,” I said before laughing. 

 Korix watched me from the corner of his eye until I’d calmed down. 

 At his raised eyebrow, I said, “Technically, we’re disobeying orders right now, you know. Talira told us to relax.” 

 To my shock, that comment prompted a smile, of all things, from him. 

 “That’s one of the only perks of the Lokke Vitras role, kuvesk,” he said. “Sometimes, we get to ignore orders, if that means keeping Lutov safe.” 

 So, the notion I’d considered earlier today had been right. Good to know. 

 “You’re right, though,” Korix continued. “Once we’re finished with Niklaus, we should carve out some time to… relax.” 

 Mother Time, he’d said that word with such distaste, but I understood his reaction. It was hard to take time off when you knew that doing so might get people killed. 

 “That’s the plan!” I brightly said before grimacing. “Unless something else comes along to ruin it.” 

 Knowing my luck, that was almost guaranteed. I hoped that, for once, things would go my way over the next few hours. 

 As we approached the storage facility where Niklaus was located, I looked to Korix for instructions on our plan. It took several seconds of staring at his unchanged profile to remember that technically, I was in the lead this time. I needed to be the one with a plan. 

 Hell, that was a disconcerting thought. 

 Still, it wasn’t that hard to do. Before we could enter the facility, I held up a hand for Korix to pause, requesting a connection with my sister all the while. 

 “Hey, Zae, where are you?” Feena said as soon as she’d accepted. “Phen and I were planning on forcing you into a mini celebration of your partner’s return, what with Talira basically ordering us to take a break. Although… are you out with Leski? We can’t find her at the apartment. Oo! Are you introducing her to the Lokke Vitras? How’s that going?”’ 

 I winced. What a string of information and questions coming at me, all at once. 

 “Actually, I’m in northwest Xygek, about to have a conversation with Leski’s father,” I said. “I might need backup before the end of that, so… I was hoping you’d join me.” 

 After a long sigh, Feena said, “Zaeden. You aren’t supposed to be working right now.” 

 “I know, but Niklaus has been harassing Leski all afternoon, which I can’t have. I’d like to address the issue now,” I said, “but after we’re finished, maybe we could meet up with Phen for drinks.” 

 There was a long silence and then. 

 “Fine. I guess that’s a decent reason to continue wearing yourself out, but I swear, Zae. If you don’t follow Talira’s orders after this…” 

 “I’ve got it! Message received and duly noted,” I said. “I’ll send you the coordinates for my location.” 

 “And I’ll see you there,” Feena said before cutting the connection. 

 When I faced Korix, he had both eyebrows raised. 

 “Asking for help?” he asked. 

 I could practically feel the skepticism and disapproval coming off of him. 

 Rolling my eyes, I said, “That was Feena. She’s been my support team for the last two weeks. Plus, this isn’t an official mission, evushk. It’s not like someone untrustworthy will find out about it.” 

 Except Niklaus but I didn’t think he was the type to share a seeming humiliation with other people. 

 Korix nodded with those incredulously raised eyebrows coming back down. 

 “And the plan?” he asked. 

 Shrugging, I said, “We go in. I scare the hell out of him before reminding him of his place. You reinforce my performance however you see fit.” 

 “All right,” Korix said. “I’ll follow your lead.” 

 I suppressed the shudder that wanted to roll up my spine on hearing those words. This situation was so strange. I’d been in charge of my own missions before. Of course I had! But that had never happened when I’d had Korix with me. 

 The change was… I wasn’t sure. Unnerving. But also… good? 

 I tried not to think about it as I led the way into the storage facility. A handful of people were here, probably finishing up with their work for the day. It was getting fairly late, but still, I wasn’t surprised to find stragglers here. 

 Lutov and the Houses didn’t have a prescribed work schedule, like we sometimes enforced in Ibis. While most people enjoyed completing their daily pursuits throughout the morning and afternoon, some preferred the isolation found in the evening for their work. 

 Korix and I avoided these people as much as possible. As we approached the relatively large chamber where we’d find Niklaus, we split up with him heading for the room’s closest entrance while I trotted up a set of stairs into the space’s raised catwalks. 

 In the chamber, Niklaus was engrossed in conversation with a petite woman, who was listening to him with crossed arms and a look of thinly veiled disgust. Unfortunately, their conversation ended before I could get close enough to overhear it, and the woman stalked off, presumably to complete whatever request Niklaus had just made of her. Tempted as I was to follow her so I could figure out what Leski’s father was up to, I ignored her, getting into position instead. 

 As soon as the chamber was empty of everyone but Niklaus and myself, I dropped to the floor, rolling to spread my impact with it, and as I returned to my feet, I tackled the other man, landing with my knee between his shoulder blades and my rifle’s barrel against his head. 

 “Niklaus! Good to see you,” I said. “I heard an interesting rumor about you today. You've decided to take your daughter into hiding with you, huh?” 

 He tried to respond, but his stalled diaphragm would only allow him a choked sound. On hearing it, I pressed down harder on him. 

 “No, no! There’s no need to say a word,” I said. “I’m just here to remind you about who you mean to fuck with. So, in case you’ve forgotten, you’re in no position to take what’s mine, and right now, Leski is under my protection. You force her to do anything she doesn’t want to do, and I will hunt you down. You’ll run to the ends of the earth, finding refuge when you most need it, but right when you feel safe again, I’ll be there, waiting for you to wake up with a rifle in your face. 

 “You’ve been there once before, haven’t you? Well, if there’s a second time, I won’t be nearly as merciful to you as I was back then.” 

 Growling under his breath, Niklaus again tried to speak, but before he could get a word out, Korix melted out of the shadows nearby. Crouching, he hung his wrists over his knees, cocking his head, while the other man turned to stone beneath me. 

 “Hello, Niklaus. It’s been a while,” he said. “I’d ask how you’ve been but…” 

 With a smirk, he pointedly ran his eyes over Niklaus’ pinned state. 

 “Also, in case it wasn’t obvious, if my kuvesk is too busy to find you in the proposed scenario, I’ll come after you instead,” he continued. “I’ll soon be coming into more free time than I’ve had in a while, and not only do I like Leski, but I owe her a debt. Then again, you already know that, don’t you?” 

 How did Korix owe Leski a…? 

 Not now. 

 With our threats made, Korix and I hopped to our feet while I hauled Niklaus upright. Rounding to face him, I amiably smiled, folding my hands behind my back. 

 “Now, is there anything we can help you with?” I asked. “Leski mentioned you were completing some business in the city. It sounded rather urgent.” 

 Clearing his throat, Niklaus tugged on his shirt’s hem, straightening it. 

 “I don’t want anything from you… either of you,” he stiffly said. “You’ve made your point. I won’t go near my daughter without your say-so. So, please. Leave me be.” 

 Surprisingly, he seemed to mean that. I was a bit shocked that he’d give up control of his daughter so easily, but I wouldn’t protest getting what I’d wanted so easily. 

 Although… something about this felt too easy. 

 Narrowing my eyes, I said, “Are you sure? If you wanted, my  evushk and I could help you finish your task here much more quickly, as I’m sure you know.” 

 “Yes, that’s true…” Niklaus started. 

 But he snapped his mouth shut as Korix came to a stop behind me. 

 “You…” he hissed. “You shouldn’t have anything to do with this. Once I finished my business with Talira years ago, you agreed to stay away from Leski.” 

 …What? 

 “Perhaps.” 

 With that one word, Korix raised the hairs all over my body. He’d sounded somewhere between murderous and amused, and that wasn’t a safe place to be with him. Niklaus didn’t seem to have heard the tone in Korix’s voice, given how livid he looked, and I wondered if I’d soon need to stop a fight between them. 

 “If keeping my distance from Leski was something I agreed to, it’s no longer a concern, considering our circumstances,” Korix said. “Besides, we both know your daughter is more perceptive than the average person. She knows about my visits, Niklaus. I think she might know about your deal with Talira too, something I’m sure you don’t want her learning about.” 

 “I-” Niklaus started. 

 For some reason, nothing more than the click of a dry throat came from him after that. Before I could wonder why he seemed so intimidated, he took a step back, glancing between us. 

 “I had to-” he tried again. 

 A crash from behind us interrupted him. Whirling toward the sound, I raised my reformed rifle toward the petite woman from before, who was sprinting through an exit from the chamber. The box on the floor behind her, which she must have dropped, explained the noise. That must have been what Niklaus had sent her to retrieve.  

 When I saw what they box had contained, I fought an urge to both freeze and sprint after the woman to apprehend her. Old-fashioned blocks of explosives lay scattered across the floor between me and the door that she'd escaped through. Niklaus had asked the woman to get him  explosives? 

 Korix took off after our new target before I could take a single step. As he flashed out of the chamber at House Kolb speed, I turned back to Niklaus, intent on keeping him contained. He was poised to bolt, so I stepped closer, pressing my rifle into the space above his heart. 

 “Don’t,” I simply said. 

 Thankfully, Niklaus froze, which made my job a thousand times easier.  

 For a moment, I considered simply waiting until Korix returned with his target. Together, we could interrogate both her and Niklaus about what the hell was going on here. It seemed he’d been up to something much more illegal than I’d assumed. 

 But as I thought about doing that and nothing more, I realized the opportunity I’d stumbled into, something that Korix had suggested I find on the way here. 

 When I turned a cold smile on Niklaus, he flinched, drawing in on himself. 

 “Considering the conversation we just had, it seems obvious that you and my evushk  have much more history that I'd have expected. Just as obviously, this history seems to concern your wife, someone I find myself increasingly curious about,” I said. “I want to know the story between you all, and you—” 

 I shoved Niklaus back a step. 

 “—are going to tell me all about it.”

Chapter 80: For the Love of Another
Reluctantly, Niklaus started with his story. 

 “Before Laryse, I had a dull life. I served my liege, Avery Kirst, and the pitiful remnants of their most noble House, giving my all to see it rise from the ashes that the blasted two-tailed aliens had made of it. Even with that purpose, that pursuit of a most glorious goal, something was missing from my life, something I didn’t even know I wanted. 

 “Until I met Laryse. I know it’s said often about one’s partner, but in my case, she truly was the light of my life. Other women would come and go, tempting in their distraction, but Laryse was the only one who held my devotion. 

 “She was… a most wonderful wife. Always cheerful. Always the perfect host. A wild tigress in our bedroom. A demure flower in public. We matched each other well, or so I thought. 

 “After many years of what had seemed like blissful marriage, I noticed that Laryse had become unhappy. She’d taken up a hobby that I could neither understand nor endorse: advocating that we Lutovish loosen our hold on Ibis.  

 “I ask you: What need have the bakava, those primitive animals with their vile customs, for freedom? They require a firm hand if they are to achieve the heights of true civilization. 

 “And yet, Laryse had become enamored with the idea of letting them try this on their own. It brought shame down on me and the House that I served, which I couldn’t have. Kirst could never again waste away, as it once had. 

 “So, I tried to distract my wife. Early in our marriage, she had told me about her desperate desire for a child. I had never wanted the same, having seen the brats that House Drav—may they fall from grace—has produced over the centuries. If I was to share my genetic material with them—and hers!—I required them to improve their standards. 

 “Laryse, however, became more and more despondent, both over my encouragement that she find a new hobby and with what she saw as the death of a dream. So, I made my sacrifice, and several months later, we came home with Leski. 

 “As I continue with my tale, you must know: I do love my daughter, just as much as I loved my wife. I’ve only ever wanted what’s best for them. 

 “They, however, come from stubborn stock, and Leski, just like her mother, is easily misguided. We’re not to that point in the story yet, though. 

 “After Leski joined our happy home, Laryse improved for a time. She was a lovely mother, doting on our daughter at all hours of the day, and Leski, in turn, adored her. Mother Time, you should have seen them together! The glow that only they could bestow on one another was truly a sight to behold. 

 “It, apparently, wasn’t enough for my wife. She returned to her shameful activities after three short years. Not only that but she began sharing some of her stories from her time in Ibis with our daughter! I couldn’t, wouldn’t have that. 

 “So, I forbade Laryse from continuing with those activities. It hurt me to impose that restriction on her, oh yes! But it had to be done, for Leski’s sake. 

 “I thought my wife had done as I’d asked. I thought she respected me enough to honor my wishes. 

 “I was wrong. Laryse continued with her trips to Ibis, her wallowing with those lesser-than, behind my back. I found out about her indiscretion in the worst of ways. One of those who’d given me his Favor, that most sacred of transactions, attempted to disobey one of the commands I’d given him, all because of the rumors swirling around my wife. He thought I’d lost the nerve and will needed to keep him in line, and Mother time, if I didn’t show him how mistaken he was. 

 “From him, I learned about Laryse’s activities and worse, about her… infidelity. She’d whored herself out to one of the bakava, delighting in an animal’s carnal passions, right under my nose! I tell you. I WOULD NOT HAVE IT! 

 “But there was nothing I could do about it, not then. I waited. I watched for my opportunity. And all the while, I loved my wife. She had hurt me, yes, and for that, she needed to pay, but while there was still time, I showed my love how devoted I was to her and our child. 

 “Leski grew up well, if also rebellious. She loved play-pretending as a soldier from Ibis or a Kolb operative, just as much as she excelled in her music and dancing lessons. Laryse encouraged both of those traits, and I… allowed it. 

 “Then, my chance finally came. Another of the bakavas ’ incompetent rebellions came along, and to my delight, Laryse’s lover became embroiled in it. 

 “I contacted shukusen Talira. I gave her any tidbits of the rebellion’s plan that I could coax out of my wife. I didn’t realize how complicit she’d become with their activities until it was far too late. 

 “On one of her trips to Ibis, Laryse was caught up in a Kolb wipe of a rebellion safehouse. I was told that she died fighting at her lover’s side. 

 “I mourned her. How I grieved! But Laryse wasn’t quite finished with me. 

 “You see, Talira’s operatives had gathered evidence of my wife’s treachery, her involvement with the rebellion, over the course of our dealings, and conniving woman that she is, she quickly revealed this evidence to me, meaning to hold it over my head so that I would remain in her thrall. I could not let any whispers of treason surround me and therefore, my beloved House. 

 “The ploy worked for a while. That is how I know your evushk and why Leski may have seen him in the past. In the years after Laryse’s death, Talira would send him to check in with me, ensuring that I remained obedient and most infuriatingly, that Leski was well-treated.  

 “I would never harm my daughter! Even with all her faults, she is my pride and joy. 

 “Eventually, though, enough was enough. I made a deal with your grandmother. I would owe her a favor, which was more of a concession than you might think, and in exchange, Talira would erase Laryse, both the evidence of her treason and any record that she had once lived. Years later, Talira traded that favor for the refuge you needed from Alezand and the Ancients. 

 “Thus, ends the tale you require, most honored one. Is it everything you wanted?”

Chapter 81: A Daughter's Fury
I was pretty sure that I was going to be sick. Opposite me, Niklaus looked so self-assured, as if he expected me to vindicate him because of what he’d shared. I’d never wanted to smack that look off of someone’s face more than I did then. 

 When I failed to say a word, he raised an eyebrow. 

 “Well?” he asked. “Are you satisfied?” 

 No but then, I didn’t think I ever would be with this man. 

 The specifics of his story weren’t the motivation behind my sudden anger. Sure, he’d said or at least implied some terrible things, and in no way, shape, or form did I agree with his actions or his underlying philosophy, but I’d dealt with worse as the Lokke Vitras to come.  Much worse. 

 This story infuriated me because it was partially about Leski. What it suggested about her upbringing… it horrified me, and confusing as I found it, a resonating pang of recognition had risen from within once I’d understood what she might have been through. 

 These things made me rage incarnate. They were why I couldn’t move or speak because much as I might like to, I couldn’t hurt this man, and right now, I didn’t trust myself not to. 

 Thank Mother Time, Korix returned with his target before I had to decide what to do. Without a word, he secured the petite woman to the end of some industrial shelves before coming to take Niklaus’ elbow. After he’d frog-marched the other man to another set of shelves, he returned to me. 

 I didn’t know what he’d said to keep Niklaus still as a statue where he’d left him, but I was both glad and disappointed to see it. I really wanted to chase that man down right now. 

 Glancing at the rifle still trembling in my hand and the glare I was directing at Niklaus, Korix said, “He told you?” 

 I just looked at him, and he sighed while hugging his chest. 

 “I hoped he might,” he said with his gaze pinned to the ground. 

 “Is it true?” I whispered. 

 Sharply glancing at me, Korix tightened his grip on his chest. 

 “No matter what he said, I didn’t kill her. Talira was gracious enough to keep me away from that mission because she knew Laryse was my…” 

 He trailed off, looking away, and I found enough focus to wonder about that. She’d been his what? Informant? Acquaintance? Friend? 

 Shit, that would make this so much worse. 

 “But the rest?” I asked. “Blackmailing Niklaus with the circumstances of Laryse’s death?” 

 “Yes, that part’s true.” 

 Before I could even consider how that confirmation had affected me, Korix hesitantly reached out to touch my arm, quickly dropping his hand once he had. 

 “I had to make sure Laryse’s daughter was safe,” he said. “Niklaus has never been… kind with his words, and he kept Leski isolated when she was home from lesson rotations. I had to make sure things were at least a little stable for her. It was the least I could do.” 

 “I see.” 

 That was... acceptable reasoning for Korix's part in all the shit I'd just heard. 

 Slowly, I took a breath, held it, and released it, and with it went all of the white-hot, pure emotion I’d been bathing in. 

 “This will make things complicated between the two of you, won’t it?” I said. 

 With the smallest of grimaces, Korix nodded. 

 “You can see why I was… concerned after you first danced with her,” he said. “I’m glad she makes you happy, but you couldn’t have picked a more difficult person to resume your dating life with.” 

 Literally anyone else would have been easier but… 

 “She’s worth the struggle to make this work,” I said. “Will you help me, Ko? I know you’ve never approved of my insistence on maintaining my emotional attachments but-” 

 His palm filled my vision, almost touching my nose. 

 “Zae, you’re the smartest person I know,” he said. “After the years you’ve spent with me, you know your role intimately. If you think you can have these relationships while also holding to the absolute objectivity that’s required of the Lokke Vitras, then who am I to argue with you?” 

 He thought too highly of me. Even I didn’t know if I was capable of what he was suggesting, but I’d stay in contact with the people I loved anyway. 

 Because Korix always forgot about one thing when it came to who I was. Despite my service to the Houses, I loathed them, and this made me more carefree with my duties than he’d ever be. 

 “Does this mean you’ll help me?” I asked. 

 Sighing, Korix said, “Yes, I’ll help with Leski. Of course I will.” 

 “That’s good,” I said with a nervous smile. “It looks like you can get started with that now.” 

 I nodded toward one of the doors, where a slight woman with silver hair had slipped inside. She was taking tremulous steps toward our prisoners in the corner, all while the rifle in her hand shook. 

 “Oh, no…” Korix breathed. “She must have overheard us.” 

 I eyed Korix. Of course Leski had been listening to Niklaus’ confession. There was a recorder in the chamber’s corner, aimed right at where he and I had been standing as he’d talked, and Leski had mentioned using those to watch our confrontation. 

 …But Korix hadn’t heard that bit, already out of the skycruiser at the time. Right. 

 Then, Leski jerked her rifle up, and Korix and I moved. As soon as I reached him, I jerked Niklaus to the side right before an energy bolt hit the shelves behind him, near where his head had been. Meanwhile, Korix had hold of Leski’s wrist, pulling it and her rifle toward the ground. 

 “Stop!” he said. “It won’t help. Trust me.” 

 When Leski snapped her eyes to him, I could swear the heat in them would melt through Korix, but fortunately, he stood strong, unchanged in the face of her rage. 

 “Trust you?” she snapped. “Why the fuck would I do that?” 

 “Because I’ve been where you are!” 

 As that shout rang in the chamber, I rapidly blinked, trying to process what I’d heard. Where she was…? No, I didn’t understand. What had Korix meant by that? 

 Leski still looked murderous, but she’d loosened her body, and this let Korix cautiously release his hold on her. 

 Lowering his voice, he said, “It hurts, doesn’t it? Knowing what he did. The inability to comprehend how he could do something so monstrous to someone you both loved, something you couldn’t imagine attempting. The pain that he’s caused you by proxy. It feels like it’s the whole world, like it’s the only thing in existence. Like you’ll never feel anything but that, and you have to release it somehow. All of that indignant wrath has to go somewhere, and to you, the best outlet for that must seem like him, right?” 

 Leski wrinkled her nose into a snarl. 

 “Who else?” she hissed through gritted teeth. 

 “It doesn’t help. If anything, taking revenge like that will only make it worse.” Korix said. “Besides, he’s not worth it. Why would you give him the honor of receiving your emotional work? You’re right to be angry. Of course you are! But don’t give any of that energy to the likes of him.” 

 For the longest of moments, Leski wrestled with this idea, but soon enough, she slumped, dissipating her rifle. 

 “You’re right about that at least,” she said. “My whole life I’ve tried to be a decent person and daughter for him, and the entire time, he’s been hiding this? I’ve wasted enough of my life on my father.” 

 Beside me, Niklaus bristled. 

 “Young lady, I-!” he started. 

 I painfully twisted my hold on his arm before he could get anything else out. His resulting yelp brought me more joy than I cared to admit. 

 “You must have forgotten the situation you’re in, Niklaus. It’s mighty suspicious, looking quite treasonous in its own right,” I said. “If I were you, I’d keep my mouth shut until I knew exactly how much trouble I was in.” 

 While Niklaus hissed at my obvious disrespect, he did seemingly hear the wisdom in my words, which might be a first for him. 

 “His situation is even worse than you might think, kuvesk,” Korix said. “I encountered some interesting evidence while collecting our second prisoner. It’s why returning here took me so long.” 

 “Oh, really?” I said while turning a cold smile on Niklaus. “Why don’t you sit down? It seems we need to have a long conversation soon, and as I’ve told you before, I prefer to limit the work I must do. Don’t make me chase you down.” 

 White as a sheet, Niklaus gulped while folding to the ground. I’d turned to join Leski and Korix when I received a request for connection from Feena. 

 After I’d accepted it, she opened with, “Uh… Zae? How many of these prisoners do you want me to keep an eye on?” 

 I could feel my eyebrows rising toward my hairline. 

 “Prisoners?” I asked. 

 As in more than one? 

 “Yes…?” Feena drawled. 

 At the same time, Korix said, “That would be the evidence I mentioned. Are you speaking with Fourth Stratus Feena? She should join us so we can more easily coordinate.” 

 Wincing, I nodded at Korix while telling my sister. 

 “Come to us for now. The prisoners will keep until we’ve discussed the situation.” 

 “All right. Be there in a minute,” Feena said. 

 As she cut the connection, I hurried to Leski, taking her hand. The moment I touched her, she threw herself at me, burying her face in my chest. I held her as tight as I could, trying to remind her that she wasn’t alone right now. 

 Freed from his self-imposed task, Korix stalked toward Niklaus and the petite woman, presumably to give us space. I was grateful to him for that. Much as the conflict between him and Leski wasn’t nearly as dire as I’d first suspected, I knew they still had a lot to work out before they’d feel comfortable near one another. 

 After a moment, Leski started speaking into my chest. It was hard to pick out what she’d said, but I heard enough to understand what she was trying to convey. 

 “You have nothing to apologize for,” I said while squeezing her. “If anyone should do that, it’s me. I should have waited until later to ask Niklaus about your mother, not done it when you were watching us.” 

 “No, no!” 

 With a wet sniffle, Leski pushed away from me, leaving her hand over my heart. 

 “I’m glad you did it,” she said. “I’ve needed to know about this for years. I’m a little pissed that I only found out about it now, when my father had no idea I was listening.” 

 “He should have told you what happened to your mother as soon as he found out about it,” I firmly said. 

 Nodding, Leski said, “Yes, he should have. He should have done a lot of things.” 

 She shot an ugly look at a spot behind me, and I wanted to smack myself for keeping her in the same room as the source of her stress. Gently, I guided her toward a door. 

 “I know this is a lot,” I said. “Is there anything I can do to help? I’ll probably be dealing with your father for a little while, but otherwise, I’m at your disposal.” 

 Leski choked out a laugh. 

 “You’ve been so kind to me throughout this, Zae. I think I’ve put you through enough, considering it wasn’t your problem to begin with,” she said. “So, please. Don’t worry about me. I know how to take care of myself, although…” 

 She paused, stopping us outside of the chamber. 

 “I’d like to visit my partner, Kayel, if that’s all right,” she said. “He’s nearby, and his status shows that he's available. I’d like to… I don’t know. I guess I just need to blow off some steam.” 

 “That makes perfect sense to me,” I said. “Would you mind waiting here until someone can go with you to his place? With all of this—” 

 I waved a hand toward the room we’d left behind. 

 “—I’m worried that someone might try something unwise within the next few hours. I know you can take care of yourself, but it would ease my mind if you had some backup right now.” 

 “I don’t mind waiting,” Leski said with a hesitant smile. “I need to talk to Kayel first anyway.” 

 Breathing out a sigh of relief, I nodded. 

 “Thank you.” 

 Framing Leski’s face with my hands, I angled her head so that I could press my lips into her brow. 

 “I’ll just be a few minutes.” 

 Feena had made her appearance by the time I returned to Korix, listening intently as he explained what had happened. 

 “I see,” she said when I reached them. “This is an… unfortunate situation.” 

 “And fucked,” I said under my breath. 

 Glancing at me, Feena said, “That too. So, what do you need from me?” 

 Before I could answer that question, Korix cleared his throat, pointedly meeting my eyes. 

 “So you know, I alerted Talira to the situation as soon as it started getting out of hand,” he said. “She’s sending several lower Strata here to bring in the prisoners. She also ordered me to convey a strictly worded reminder: that you and I are supposed to—and I quote—“Sit our asses down and fucking relax, you raging workaholics’.” 

 While I groaned, Feena burst into laughter. 

 Wiping her eyes, she said, “Does that mean you’re keeping your promise then, Zae? Because if so, we’ll need to grab Phen from the Library before heading out for drinks. He and I weren’t sure how long your little excursion would take, and you know what he’s like when he’s found a new source of fascination.” 

 Completely fixated on it to the detriment of everything else in his life? Yes, I was aware. 

 “I need to take Leski to one of her partner’s places first,” I said. “Maybe we can meet-” 

 “Wait. Let me handle Leski,” Feena said. “You two can grab Phen.” 

 “Oh, yeah?” I said. “What makes you think that’s the best plan?” 

 Sighing, Feena hung her head while resting her hands on her hips. 

 “Based on the very little the  Lokke Vitras has told me, it seems clear that Leski’s going through a rough time right now,” she said. “She could probably use some time with a pseudo-sister, if you know what I mean.” 

 Oh. Yes, given how badly her father had failed her and how recent the knowledge of that failure was for her, it made sense that Korix’s presence or mine might be temporarily problematic for Leski. In case Feena was right about this theory, I thought it best to go along with her scheme. 

 “So, you’re with Leski while evushk and I handle Pheniks,” I said. “That sounds like a plan. How long until the lower Strata arrive?” 

 “Soon enough,” Korix said. “We can leave when you’re ready.” 

 Quickly, I glanced over the room once more. Korix had restrained Niklaus in the same manner as the petite woman, and the spilled explosives had been returned to their box, which he’d marked for retrieval. With those tasks done, there was nothing left for us here. 

 “Let’s get moving, then,” I said. “The sooner we grab Pheniks, the sooner we can all take a break.”

Chapter 82: A Peek into the Past
“Phen? You here?” I called as Korix and I entered the Library. 

 As the question echoed back to me, I was hit by a strong sense of déjà vu, probably from my visit here… this morning. 

 Damn, today had been a long one. 

 I sent a message to my brother, asking where he was, but also beckoned for Korix to follow me. There was a good chance Pheniks wouldn’t respond to me. He was almost at the peak of one of his manic episodes, and when that happened, nothing except his current fixation existed for him. He might not even see my message. 

 So, I took us to the section of the Library where Pheniks had been spending most of his time. It was up a few floors and tucked away from the balconies. Two of the unnerving arches that led… elsewhere framed a handful of shorter bookcases here. The ethereal blue light in their metal frames aided the scattered orbs nearby in illuminating the shelves and tables between, all of which were covered with displaced books. 

 Pheniks wasn’t here, but still, I sighed in exasperation and understanding when I saw a magnet pinning a sock to one of the arches. A long time ago, my brother had established this as his way of letting me know when he was, as he put it, ‘entirely too preoccupied to deal with my shenanigans’. I think he took a little joy out of appropriating a signal most commonly associated with sex for something he considered more useful. 

 Still, he didn’t use it often, just when he felt like he was on the verge of a breakthrough, so I was a little loathe to interrupt his activities, no matter what our plans might have been before. That plus my aversion to going through the arches might have had me dismissing this side trip as a waste of time, but this wasn’t Pheniks’ home, where everything he’d need to see himself through a manic episode would easily be within reach. If pre-prepared meals weren’t a few steps from his workstation, he might forget to feed himself over the next few days. 

 So, I trudged over to the arch, unpinning my brother’s sock from its surface. Glancing at Korix, I waved at the arched entrance. 

 “Have you been through one of these before?” 

 With a tight smile, Korix said, “Once, a long time ago.” 

 “So, you know what to expect.” 

 That hadn’t been a true question, but Korix nodded anyway. 

 “All right, then,” I said. “Let’s go.” 

 Bracing myself, I stepped through the arch and nearly stopped short on the other side, completely taken aback by my surroundings. What in the...? 

 Fortunately, I remained cognizant enough to make room for Korix before putting my full attention on the task of figuring out where the hell I was. 

 The first thing I noticed was that it was cold, worse than winter back home, worse even than perpetually snowed-in Zoln. Typically, I liked cold places, but this was intolerable. I was surprised that Pheniks, who loathed the cold, had opted to stay here rather than gathering any materials he might have needed before heading back through the arch. 

 I did my best to hide my discomfort, suppressing my shivering as much as possible, but Korix still saw it. 

 Of course he did. 

 Without a word, he reached into a pocket before handing me a set of thermal protection, even as he donned his own. 

 Narrowing my eyes at him, I said, “I swear, it’s like you have some sort of summoning crystal or a separate dimension in your pockets sometimes.” 

 “It’s just another facet of preparedness, kuvesk,” he said. “Nothing more.” 

 Not once did his expression change or his tone switch out of dry levity, but somehow, I knew he was teasing me. Huffing, I rolled my eyes. 

 “Come on.” 

 As I slapped my thermal protection on, I moved away from the arch, running my eyes over our strange surroundings. The stone walls and floors around us were broken up by intervaled, narrow windows, looking out over a frozen landscape. The glass in them looked to have been added later than the place’s original construction, given the sporadic cloudy blobs and bubbles of it gathered around the sills and grilles. 

 Outside, I could see nothing but snow and the rounded roof of a single hangar in the distance. I wondered what sort of aircraft, if any, it contained.  

 Exposed cables ran along the ceiling, mixed in with the occasional industrial light. Korix and I followed these while looking for signs of recent activity. 

 When I requested it, our position on the world’s map placed us on the northern ice caps, near the pole, which confused me. So far as I was aware, no one in Lutov or Ibis had traveled here in decades, at least not publicly. Sure, Cerullis had sent out the occasional research team past Lutov’s borders, but that had stopped shortly before I’d taken up my current role, all due to that switch in focus that we’d recently found out about. 

 Humanity certainly hadn’t built permanent structures up here, not in recorded history at least. Why do that when much more habitable environments existed on the globe? 

 So, why were Korix and I exploring a veritable fortress here? 

 The hallway we were walking down soon ended in a massive set of doors whose arched point nearly reached the ceiling of the two-story foyer we’d entered. One of them had been cracked open, a potential sign of my brother’s presence here. 

 Korix and I followed his trail, although our search ended in the next room. The place was a visual example of our world’s history throughout the modern ages. The bones of the place, the fortress’ rough stonework and caulking, framed its more technological contents, but even these remnants of an early digital age paled in comparison to the present-day equipment surrounding my brother. 

 He was sitting beside a generator of some kind with its innards exposed and his hands deep within it. As Korix and I approached, I noted him muttering under his breath, and when he brought one hand up to scratch his head, it was covered in a greasy substance. When I stopped opposite him, he failed to look up, which made me sigh. 

 Korix raised his eyebrows, pointing toward another section of the room, and distractedly, I waved him off. I wondered all the while why a sudden sense of melancholy was washing over me on watching my brother. 

 “Phen?” I softly said, trying not to spook him. 

 Clicking his tongue, Pheniks said, “I’m busy. Go away.” 

 Yes, I could see that. And I didn’t want to interrupt him but… 

 “I just need enough time for two questions, Phen. I promise I’ll leave you alone afterward,” I said. “Please.” 

 Tsking, Pheniks pulled his hands out of the generator, glaring at me. 

 “What?” he snapped. 

 I launched right into it, knowing he wouldn’t tolerate any ‘bullshit social practices’ right now. 

 “Do you have enough food and water to get you through the next few days?” 

 Rolling his eyes, Pheniks said, “Of course. I brought some pre-packaged meals with me. We’re not kids anymore, Zae. You don’t have to keep me alive like you did back then.” 

 Sure… because he’d never forgotten about his physical needs since then or anything. 

 Still, I simply nodded before asking my second question. 

 “Can Feena and I check on you while you’re here?” 

 Grimacing, Pheniks said. “Sure. Just don’t-” 

 “-talk to you. I know,” I finished. 

 With a grunt, my brother went right back to what he’d been doing before I’d interrupted him, and I softly chuckled. 

 “Have fun,” I said before turning on my heel. 

 Korix was flipping through a notebook on a nearby table when I joined him. 

 “He’s not coming with us?” he absently asked. 

 “No.” 

 “Well, I can see why your brother wants to give this place his full attention, at least,” Korix said before meeting my eyes. “I think he might have stumbled upon one of the Founder’s labs.” 

 “What, really?!” I said. 

 I took the notebook from Korix, quickly glancing over a few lines, and nearly stopped breathing when I ran across a group of initials at the bottom of a report. Several of these held no special meaning for me but- 

 “A.C.?” I whispered. “Do you think that could be Asher Cerullis?” 

 Shrugging, Korix said, “Maybe. I was more interested in the crest on the front page. It’s nearly identical to the one that the Founders used for their troops during the war. Is the Founder for Cerullis somehow more important than the others in our current circumstances?” 

 Right. Korix had been in stasis when the subject of Asher Cerullis had first come up. 

 “We have reason to believe that he spent a lot of time researching the Ancients when he was alive,” I told him. 

 “Hmm.” 

 With intensity, Korix glanced over the room, landing his gaze on the notebook I was holding. 

 “I see.” 

 Of course he did. This place could hold the answers we needed. 

 A heavy silence fell between us, and in it, I knew that each of us was fighting an itch to stay here. Now that I knew what this place was, I badly wanted to help Pheniks with his project but… 

 “It’s too bad that Talira ordered us to relax,” I made myself say. 

 “Yes,” Korix said through gritted teeth. 

 Given, she had said we could continue with our research,. That’s what staying here would involve, right? 

 But Feena was waiting for us back in Lutov. I… didn’t want to disappoint her. 

 Besides, Talira’s orders had implied that we should be ready for whatever she might throw at us over the next few days. Right now, I could handle an easy mission, sure, but I shouldn’t trust the fate of Lutov—which the mission to defeat the Ancients would involve—to my current, somewhat shaky mental state. Much as I might hate to admit it, I… needed to rest. 

 Ugh. 

 “Pheniks will be looking over things here,” I said, at least partially to myself. “I couldn’t tear him away now, even if I wanted to. Plus, we can always join him tomorrow morning.” 

 “That’s… true,” Korix said before meeting my eyes. “So, drinks?” 

 “Drinks,” I said, nodding. 

 With a heavy sigh, Korix moved toward the doors to leave the room. As soon as his back was turned, I stuffed the notebook I was holding into the back of my waistband, pulling my shirt over it. 

 Yes, I meant to get some rest tonight, but while doing that, I could let myself read through a fascinating set of scientific reports. It would be just like listening to the narrations of Lutov’s ancient war that I enjoyed when I had free time. That wasn’t work, right? 

 ...Right.

Chapter 83: One Man's Power
Later that night, I slipped out from under Leski’s arm, cautiously disarming the alarms around my bedroom’s door. I hadn’t been able to sleep, unable to after the extreme busyness of yesterday. I should be exhausted. We’d been running back and forth across the city all day, and things had been so hectic. But there’d also been so many changes and developments, one of which felt particularly unresolved.  

 Niklaus. What had he been doing in that storage facility earlier? It had looked like he’d been gathering weapons again, but who had they been for? Cerullis? Some other party unrelated to our current crisis?  

 And where had he meant to send them? Where had he gotten them from? Could we close that leak in Lutov’s security? 

 I wouldn’t be able to truly sleep or relax until I’d gotten answers to those questions and the many others flitting through my mind. So, I’d decided to get them. 

 As I headed toward my parents’ hangar, I checked on Leski and Korix, making sure they were asleep or otherwise occupied.  

 Leski was still as deeply unconscious as when I’d left her just a moment ago. She’d arrived here soon after Korix and I had returned from our time with Feena. Korix had stopped her soon after she'd come home, pulling her into a sitting room for a chat. Or I guessed that was what they were doing. Despite having access to the recorders in the room — Korix hadn't blocked them — I hadn't intruded on them, given how clear it was that they were having a moment in private. 

 Once they'd left that room, Leski  hadn’t wanted to do much talking with me, climbing into bed for cuddling and sleep instead. I couldn’t blame her for that. Much as yesterday had been hectic for me, I knew it had been more so for her, considering how deeply its events had dug into her personal life. 

 Korix was… still awake. I didn’t know why I’d expected he wouldn’t be. 

 Last night, he’d been stoic and withdrawn while Feena and I had toasted his return. I could tell our celebration had pained him to a degree, even with me trying to minimize our focus on him. It hadn’t helped that he’d refused to join us in our drink, although I’d expected that. In all the years I’d known Korix, I hadn’t once seen him indulge in alcohol. 

 After we’d come home, he’d quickly excused himself, off to the bedroom my parents had offered him. He was there now, pacing a furrow into the carpet. Every time he passed the room’s door, he’d pause for a moment before forcing himself forward once more, which made me smile. I had no doubt that he was struggling with the same problem I’d recently been facing. 

 Diverting course, I was soon outside his door, unsurprised in the least to watch him stop and face it in the split second before I knocked. 

 “Come in,” he said. 

 I did so, grinning as soon as our eyes met. 

 “Are you having trouble sleeping too?” I asked. 

 He settled an incredulous look on me, and I laughed. 

 “Feel like running a couple, last minute errand with me?” I said. “Something that might help us ‘relax’?” 

 Narrowing his eyes, Korix cocked his head. 

 “Niklaus?” he slowly said. 

 Yes... among other things. 

 When I nodded, Korix's lips twitched. He spoke not a single word about ‘orders’ or our ‘duty’, merely sweeping past me and into the hall. 

 “Sounds fun,” he called over his shoulder. 

 Mother Time, I loved how in sync we usually were. I hurried after him. 

 It didn’t take us long to reach House Kolb’s headquarters. Once we arrived, Korix and I snuck through hallways and floors and lifts until we’d reached the holding cells where Niklaus and his associates had been placed.  

 A lower Strata was standing guard outside the area. When they saw us coming, their eyes widened while they snapped to attention, but that was the only sign of deference they showed. 

 “Lokke Vitras,” they said without any hesitation or awe in their voice. 

 Briefly, they swept their eyes over me, but they made no comment about my appearance. Likewise, I said not a word, fully aware that having Korix take the lead here would get us what we wanted much more quickly. Fortunately, he’d also decided to ignore our disconcerting switch in station. 

 “I’m here to interrogate a prisoner brought in yesterday evening,” he said. 

 He proceeded to give the guard a description of the petite woman who’d been with Niklaus last night. I didn’t pay it much mind, already heading to an interview room. Korix joined me within a few minutes, and together, we waited in silence for our prisoner. 

 She arrived soon enough, gently tugged along by the elbow. After leading her to the chair across a wide table from us, the guard bowed to us and left, firmly closing the door behind them. 

 While the petite woman nervously glanced between me and Korix, I scanned her status in her array. Avaylan, Eighty Stratus of House Zan. She’d proudly proclaimed her chosen occupation as a landscape designer for the various parks across Xygek, which made me wonder what she’d been doing so far from any of them last night. 

 After a beat of uncomfortable silence, she cleared her throat. 

 “You’re here to interrogate me, right? You should ask me about the fertilizer I’ve been using in my most recent project,” she whispered. “I know I shouldn’t suggest anything right now, but… please, start there.” 

 She dramatically raised her eyebrows, as if trying to convey something with her facial expression alone, and I pursed my lips. Korix took a breath to answer her, but I spoke up first, certain I was missing something. 

 “Sure…” I drawled. “Why don’t you tell us about that?” 

 When Avaylan glanced at Korix, as if asking for his permission, he waved for her to continue. 

 “Well, I’m sure you’re both aware that certain types of fertilizer are among the many items restricted from the general populace,” she said, nervously lacing and unlacing her fingers. “I typically use ones that are more organic in nature and therefore, more friendly to the environment, but a certain… client of mine has requested that I switch to one with a high concentration of ammonium nitrate on his estate. I had to get special clearance so I could access both that and the more… explosive material it’s sometimes stored with.” 

 …Which explained why someone from House Zan had been able to get their hands on that crate yesterday. 

 Considering how willing she seemed to give us answers to our obvious questions, why was Avaylan providing them in such a roundabout way? Why not straight up tell us what we needed to know? 

 “I see,” Korix said, seemingly nonplussed by her indirectness. “And this client of yours. Did he mention why he’d requested the change? Or perhaps you can tell us why you felt obligated to listen to a man with much less expertise than you in gardening?” 

 Biting her lip, Avaylan nodded. 

 “I’ll… try to explain,” she said. 

 But she only sat there, fiddling with her fingers for several, tense heartbeats. When I purposefully shifted in my seat, she sucked in a breath, glancing at me, before making herself continue. 

 “My… client has recently gotten some advice about fertilizer from his… friend in House Cerullis. His friend likewise heard about this new technique from a rival in my House, someone they’ve been trying to hurt for decades.” 

 The emphasis she placed on those two words, paired with her even more exaggerated look of wordlessly conveying something, had me exchanging a glance with Korix. 

 “Interesting…” he quietly said. “What else can you tell me about this rival?” 

 Avaylan breathed out a sigh, relaxing into her chair with a hesitant grin. 

 “I hear he works at a facility where my House assesses alien tech,” she said. “I think my client may have sent his rival a gift there recently, but I can’t be sure.” 

 Oh fun. It looked like Korix and I might need to make another side trip soon. 

 “And his other question?” I asked, tipping my head toward Korix. “Why were you following your client’s advice?” 

 Damn, Avaylan had gone from relieved to nervous again in an eyeblink. 

 “I… I had to. He…” 

 Gulping, she looked away. 

 “A long time ago, I got myself into a spot of trouble and asked him to help me out of it,” she whispered, “but as you know… or no, never mind. Maybe you don’t. My client really likes it when he can control someone.” 

 Pausing, she met Korix’s eyes. 

 “Absolutely control them,” she said, “so that even their House no longer has a hold on them. He wouldn’t help me until… until that had happened. Yeah.” 

 My mouth had gone dry. Only one thing in Lutovish society—one socially acceptable thing, at least—could give someone the type of control Avaylan was referring to. 

 Stiffly, Korix said, “Niklaus holds your Favor?” 

 Emptying her lungs, Avaylan slumped, fixing her eyes on her hands in her lap. She refused to look up as she nodded. 

 A deep silence fell while I tried to wrap my mind around this revelation and everything it had spawned in me. Given how loosely regulated our economy was, favors might be the only pseudo-form of currency that anyone took seriously, but there was a difference between owing someone a favor and giving them your Favor.  

 The first was a one-time transaction, given as payment for someone’s help or advice. The second was an intrinsic part of a person, something you were only meant to give when you found another person or cause that you wholeheartedly admired. It was the only way to step out from your House’s control, but giving someone else your Favor also wasn’t done lightly, given how fraught with danger it could be. 

 Once the exchange was complete, it was permanent, something that would incur the worst of shame if the giver reversed it, and with it, the recipient gained total control of you. They could order you to do anything, up to and including ending your own life, and nobody could do a thing to reverse those orders. 

 Hence, why people usually gave someone their Favor only after that person had earned their trust or when in the direst of circumstances. What could Avaylan’s ‘spot of trouble’ have been to have forced something like that from her? 

 Why did the idea that she’d done it make me both physically ill and so faint that I was afraid I might lose consciousness? 

 “And the others with you yesterday?” Korix said into the pregnant pause. “Same circumstances?” 

 “Yes,” Avaylan said. “And they’re not the only ones.” 

 Shit. I hadn’t seen how many people Korix had apprehended at the storage facility, but that didn’t matter. It was bad enough that Niklaus, someone I found morally reprehensible, held one person’s Favor. That he could hold so many of them… 

 Was this the source of power that Leski had mentioned her father had? 

 “How many?” Korix asked. 

 Looking up at us through her hair, Avaylan said, “I don’t know the exact number, but it’s a lot. A veritable army’s worth.” 

 “I see,” Korix once more said. “How… unfortunate.” 

 That was one way of putting it. 

 Still struggling to subsume an intense wave of emotion, I clung to silence, waiting for Korix to either ask another question or end this interview. After a moment, he sighed. 

 “Thank you for your cooperation, Eighth Stratus,” he said. 

 He made a subtle motion at a nearby recorder, and the guard from earlier soon came to take Avaylan away. Once we were alone, Korix faced me, simply watching me until I felt like I could breathe again. 

 “Niklaus can’t keep those people,” I eventually managed to say. 

 Without saying a word about the fight he must surely see in me, Korix nodded. 

 “And he won’t,” he said. “Given how deeply his crimes have gone, Talira will most certainly have him dissolve any holds on Favor that he has, and he’ll thank her for her mercy. He should be stripped of his House for this, at the least, but I believe it’s safe to say that losing his power will be a better punishment.” 

 “Good,” I stiffly said. 

 And knowing that horrible situation would soon be resolved let me release my tension in a rush. 

 “Good,” I repeated. “So, this ‘gift’ to a rival that Avaylan mentioned. I’d like to look into it. Make sure nothing disastrous is coming from that end of our conflict. We should start by locating where this rival works. Will you join me?” 

 I had an idea, besides relying on the lower Strata to find the information for us, for how to achieve that goal, and fortunately, it aligned perfectly with my second objective for tonight. 

 Raising an eyebrow, Korix said, “Do I have a choice?” 

 Right. Because I was supposed to be keeping an eye on him. And Leski. 

 “Ughh…” I groaned, leaning back in my chair. “Let’s just get out of here, yeah?” 

 Waving toward the door, Korix said, “After you.”

Chapter 84: Preparing the Way
“Remind me why we’re here again?” Korix asked. 

 The city's lights cast a glowing corona around the towers on all sides of us, but none of them stretched upward as far as the one Korix and I were standing on. Well, none of them but the six House headquarters, the closest of which was waiting across a narrow skyway from us. 

 “Figure it out for yourself,” I said. 

 Now that we’d arrived, our purpose here should be obvious. I didn’t know why Korix was asking about it. 

 “Ok. Why are we infiltrating House Cerullis’ headquarters?” he said. “I can think of several reasons why we should do it. I’d like to know which of them you want to accomplish tonight.” 

 He’d made a good point. I couldn’t expect him to read my mind. 

 Also, why had he sounded so nervous just now? 

 “Besides hoping to figure out which House Zan facility Niklaus’ ‘gift’ was sent to?” I asked. 

 When Korix failed to respond to that question, I sighed. 

 “It’s been over two weeks, and Cerullis hasn’t made their move yet. When you woke up, I hoped that you’d have some details about their schemes to share, but since they kept you in the dark so efficiently about that, my wish is a bust,” I said. “So, we’ll go into Cerullis' headquarters and pray that Mother Time favors us with more clues about their plan because being in the dark about that is killing me. While we’re here, I’d also like to leave a breadcrumb trail for the other Houses to follow once this is over, one that will see shukusen Alezand removed from his position.” 

 “And why did you ask for my help with this?” Korix asked. “It sounds like something you could have done by yourself, three years into your training.” 

 I just stared at him in response. He should know why I’d brought him with me. Sure, his knowledge of a building that I’d so infrequently visited would be helpful, but it wasn’t why I needed him nearby. 

 As Zaeden, I might trust him, believing without a speck of doubt that the Ancient had been pulled out of him, but as the acting Lokke Vitras, I couldn’t afford such certainty. Much as I didn't like the restriction and sometimes forgot about it, Korix couldn’t leave my side until our enemy was dealt with. 

 “Ah,” he said. “You’re being polite.” 

 “No, I really could use your help tonight. It would make this task easier,” I said, “but I don’t need it.” 

 With a weak smile, Korix said, “I understand. You don’t have to explain yourself.” 

 Crossing his arms, he examined the building opposite us, but not before I spotted a slight tremble in his hands. Was he… afraid? If so, I could understand why. Who knew what sort of terrible deeds the Ancient had made him do here? 

 And I was bringing him back to it. 

 “I’m assuming we’re using P.I.G.s to get in,” he said. 

 Offering him the mentioned item, I said, “Unless you have a better idea.” 

 I couldn’t let him know that I’d seen his fear. What would that do to him, the one man in Lutov who believed his emotions must never be displayed? 

 Grimacing, Korix took a P.I.G., slapping it on the back of his hand, and I followed suit. Both of us checked our equipment after it had wrapped itself around our bodies, and once we were done, I marked a darkened window a few floors lower than us, sharing its location with Korix’s array. 

 “Entering through the roof would be easier, you know,” he said. 

 “Please, Ko. You know as well as I do that House Cerullis members have probably been stationed there from the moment I escaped with you,” I said. ‘They won’t expect us to come through a window, though, not the way we’ll do it at least.” 

 With a chuckle, Korix said, “I love seeing proof of how well you’ve learned my lessons.” 

 Good. He’d sounded better. Hopefully, he’d stay that way. 

 With a fond smile at him, I jumped into thin air. Rather than letting gravity drive me toward the ground, however, I used my propulsors to maintain a stable trajectory as I raced between layers of traffic, a dark splotch lost in the middle of flashing metal. Once I’d drawn closer to my target, I throttled my speed before initiating a most hated process in my array. 

 As with every time I’d used the damn thing, I mentally cringed at glass’s fast approach, certain I’d bounce off of the barrier surrounding it, but right when I might truly panic, the familiar disorientation that came with molecular dispersion settled over me. It didn’t, however, fade in a split second like it did when traveling to the Terminal. I jittered and buzzed, and my teeth would have been clenched hard enough to chip them, if I could get them to physically touch. 

 And all the while, the world fuzzed like it did when seen through a soap bubble, splitting into a million different refractions. 

 When I slurped back into my natural form with my atoms ceasing their vibration, I rolled to my feet, taking a breath to gather my scattered thoughts while Korix slunk toward the door. As soon as I could, I checked that our passage through the window had left no ripples in its barrier. Since they only stopped solid objects from passing through them, reactions to what we’d just done didn’t usually occur, but sometimes when using this process, one atom would hit another in exactly the wrong way, and a flare would run across a building. 

 I should have checked the barrier as soon as the process had ended, but shaking off its effects still gave me trouble. Korix insisted that given time, I’d consider passing through solid objects as normal. That made me no less impatient for it to be my reality now. 

 Hurrying to him, I said, “Anything?” 

 Even as he answered with a negative, I was accessing the nearby recorder feeds, using them to paint a simulation against a seemingly translucent wall. 

 “What now?” Korix asked in sub-vocals. 

 “Now, you teach me what you did at the Founder’s Day Ball,” I answered in kind. “Your camouflage technique?” 

 “You want to do that now?” Korix asked. “In possibly hostile territory?” 

 “After our many years together, you should know that I learn best when under pressure,” I said. 

 With a slight headshake, Korix reached into a pocket before flipping something to me, and when I caught it, it almost fell through my fingers; its size was so small. I lifted it in front of me, squinting at the revealed disk, and raised an eyebrow. 

 “Your technique is a piece of high Strata tech?” I asked. 

 Shrugging, Korix said, “I never said it was difficult, only that I hadn’t taught it to you, which is true. Unless you know how to operate that thing.” 

 When he nodded to the disk, I made a face. 

 “All right, then. How does it work?” I asked. 

 “Hold it against the back of your neck, near the base of your skull,” Korix said. “It’ll feel a little strange.” 

 Oh, goodie. His definition of strange could range anywhere from mildly annoying to excruciatingly painful. 

 Still, I did as he’d instructed, and when metal touched my skin, the disk pinched it before letting an electric zing flow over my body. Grimacing, I ran my tongue along my teeth. Korix had been right. This was weird. 

 “When you can, initiate the new processes that the disk has introduced to your array, and you’ll become invisible to the unaided eye. The disk forces the arrays near you to skip their users’ eyes over your position,” Korix said. “You’ll have to add me as an exception.” 

 “Sounds simple enough,” I said. “I don’t suppose you have another one of these on you? I’ll have to alter the plan otherwise.” 

 But Korix held another disk aloft, prepared for anything as always, and after we were both ready, we headed deeper into House Cerullis’ headquarters. 

 This place was nothing like House Kolb’s tower, not opposite in nature but distinctly unlike it too. Here, Korix and I passed displays filled with different types of rock and the strangest models of flora and fauna, all testaments to the diversity of our world. 

 As we moved along each corridor, fear made a slow creep into Korix once more, even in mission mode as he was. He was swiveling his head too much, and each of his steps was too twitchy. I needed to finish this. Quickly. 

 Fortunately, security was terrible here. Breaking through the processes that controlled its recorders and lifts took little effort. With the ease of our control and the lack of people in the building, we practically flew through the tower. Even still, my skin crawled. It couldn’t be this easy. 

 Despite my apprehension, we reached shukusen Alezand’s office without incident. 

 Once we were inside, Korix and I scoured the room before pulling the disks off of our necks, and while he stood stock still, staring at a strangely placed sitting area, I worked my jaw, shaking off this tech’s peculiar buzz. I didn’t comment on Korix’s obvious distress, letting him work through it, and when focus returned to his gaze, he took up watch without prompting. 

 As he did, a blanket of unease piled itself atop the tension I was already holding. Supposedly, my Lokke Vitras privileges should overshadow the ones that every head of House, save for my own, claimed. It was one of the advantages that the other shukusenth let the Lokke Vitras hold over them. 

 After all, while whomever held that role might be from House Kolb, they served all of Lutov. They were trusted to keep from abusing their power, although the threat of exile was on the table for the rare cases where that happened. 

 I’d never tested these privileges. What if something had gone wrong with them? What if the Ancients had modified the processes protecting House Cerullis? Considering they could isolate an array, surely they could also block me from what I needed. If my privileges didn’t work, I’d have to breach Alezand’s private storecase on my own, and I wasn’t sure how long that would take, time we might or might not have. 

 Still, as I moved into the room, I began my work, requesting anything that the shukusen had stored about the Ancients or Niklaus, and when I received an immediate response, it took me a heartbeat to hide my relief. I searched Alezand’s desk for paper evidence of what Cerullis had planned while my array rifled through his digital records, and after going through everything, I restored the desk to its previous state. This took me maybe three minutes, and I spent another seven going through everything I’d gathered. Once finished, I suppressed a frustrated growl. 

 “I don’t know if any of this will help us,” I said. 

 Never relenting in his unfocused stare, Korix said, “At this point, anything new would be useful. So?” 

 Delving into the storecase again, I started laying my breadcrumb trail while answering the question. 

 "Alezand must be keeping his correspondences with Niklaus in his array or a personal storecase, found elsewhere," I said. "They're certainly not here, and there's no mention of any shipments to a Zan facility that haven't been scheduled for the last few months. If Niklaus was sending his 'gift' to his rival through Cerullis, I doubt the House would have set up its shipment so long before now. 

 "Now that we've cleared up the hard part of this investigation for them, the lower Strata should bring us more information about this plot quickly enough. I doubt we need to spend more time investigating it ourselves, unless nothing turns up within the next few days. 

 “As for the Ancients' plan, Alezand has much more information stored here, but I don't understand what any of it means. According to what I've read,  they have cells of House Cerullis members stationed across Xygek. Once the… cascade—whatever that means—begins, they’ll be the first to respond, ushering city residents to prepared holding facilities. Citizens will be processed there, which I assume means an Ancient will take them over. 

 “After they control Xygek, seizing the rest of Lutov will be easy, considering most of our people and resources are centered here, but I did find several mentions of them targeting the Eastern Reaches after they’re done in the capital. Without the means of production found there or the manpower and resources needed to support them, the high Strata in their far-flung estates won’t be able to resist the Ancients, the same as anyone who lives in Lutov’s few towns. 

 “I found nothing, however, about what this cascade entails, although several reports placed great emphasis on the Ancients’ affinity for electricity and manipulating membranes, of all things. I don’t suppose any of that rings a bell?” 

 “No, unfortunately,” Korix said. 

 I hadn’t thought it would, but there’d been no harm in asking. 

 With a final few tweaks, I finished my changes to Alezand’s storecase, ones that should see him stripped of House upon an investigation. If we survived the Ancients’ attack, Talira would lead one against House Cerullis, and when she did, I wanted the way prepared for her. 

 Joining, Korix by the door, I asked, “Are we clear?” 

 When he nodded, we slipped back through Cerullis’ headquarters until we reached the floor where we’d started. I wasn’t sure how we’d extract. We could leave the same way that we’d entered, but I’d much rather find another way out, if possible. Experiencing the discomfort of passing through a barrier once had been enough for today, thank you. 

 While I considered other options, someone stepped out of a room ahead of us, and at the sight of her, I brushed my fingers over my knives. Considering how empty Cerullis' headquarters had been until now, finding another person here was concerning. 

 After a closer inspection of the woman, however, I lowered my hands from my weapons, even if my tension decreased not one bit. 

 “Is that…?” 

 Korix seemed at a loss as to how he should finish his sentence, but that was to be expected. When someone changed their gender presentation, the same usually occurred for their name, and he would never be so rude as to use the wrong moniker for another person, even if they could never hear him doing it. I filled in the blank for him. 

 “Jayla.” 

 Drawing his shoulders together, Korix asked, “Sixth Stratus Fyester’s partner at the time of his-?” 

 He stopped just in time, but I heard that last word anyway, and the old stab of that wound rushed through me for the millionth time. 

 “She’s also Cerullis’ First Stratus now,” I said. 

 As we’d spoken, we’d been following Jayla with both of us drawn to the possibility that she presented, even if we didn’t dare speak it aloud yet. 

 “That’s what I thought. She’s flown far,” Korix said. “Do you want me to do it? I know it won’t be easy for you.” 

 “No. Too much unfinished business lies between us. I need to resolve it or it’ll cause problems in the future,” I said. “I’d appreciate your company, though.” 

 “Of course.” 

 Swallowing the recollected image of Jayla’s face contorting with rage, I set myself on a collision course with someone I’d once shared a partner with, a man we’d both loved. Someone I’d killed. 

 Why did life keep doing these things to me?

Chapter 85: An Ally on the Inside
Even with an undercurrent of worry following her, Jayla looked good, much better than she had as Jastin, but then, I’d only met her once before she’d transitioned, and that meeting hadn’t… gone… well. 

 Why was I doing this again? 

 Once we’d reached an abandoned hallway, Korix revealed himself to the First Stratus, sending her spinning away from what would seem like a man appearing from thin air. Pressing a hand to her chest, she leaned against a wall, gasping. 

 “Favored,” she said. “Forgive my surprise. I thought that Kolb had taken you prisoner.” 

 “They have,” I said. 

 Grimacing, I lowered my camouflage, and Jayla’s body went through a peculiar progression of tensed to relaxed, all while her face soured. 

 “You,” she said with distaste. 

 Sighing, I said, “Me. May we speak with you privately, First Stratus?” 

 Furrowing her brow, Jayla flicked her eyes between me and Korix, and disquiet fell over her. The only other time I’d seen her, the Lokke Vitras had also accompanied me. Considering that during that encounter, I’d told her Fyester was dead, her confusion now didn’t surprise me. 

 “My office isn’t far,” she said. “It should work, depending on why you’re here.” 

 I ignored the unspoken question, gesturing to her. 

 “Lead on.” 

 With every step we took, Jayla drew her shoulder closer to her ears, and by the time she pulled us out of the hallway, she was bristling like an upset cat. Hell, this would be fun… 

 Her office was smaller than I’d expected, only containing a desk with a chair on either side. To the left and right of this, built-in display cases lined the walls with various trinkets resting on their shelves, and a landscape of a vista had been painted along the far wall. 

 While Jayla took her place behind the desk, I sank into the room’s second chair with Korix at my back. I didn’t like this position, would much rather take the less vulnerable option of standing, but right now, maintaining appearances was more important than my safety or comfort. From Jayla’s unconscious shifting, I’d say my efforts were working. 

 What did she see in me? Was I only someone who’d cowed the Lokke Vitras, or was there something else as well? 

 “Obviously, you know me,” she said, “and obviously, I made a mistake when I failed to catch your name the last time we met.” 

 “What else were you supposed to do?” I said. “I’d brought you horrible news. Why should you have cared to learn about me?” 

 With a cough, Jayla said, “Regardless. May I know your name now?” 

 “That will depend on how you answer my questions,” I said. “For now, all I’ll tell you is that shukusen Talira has given me the task of dealing with the threat in our midst. I want to know everything you can tell me about the Ancients’ designs for your House.” 

 I had no intention of asking about Niklaus. Unlike Alezand, who'd held an overheard conversation with Niklaus about our stolen weapons, I didn't have any solid evidence that Jayla even knew the older man. If I thought it necessary, I might ask her about him later, but for now, it seemed best to focus our conversation on one area of conflict. 

 Swallowing hard, Jayla settled deeper into her chair. 

 “I’d love to tell you everything, but my loyalty to my House won’t be broken,” she said. “I trust that the Favored is pleased with my answer.” 

 Did she think that Korix was testing her? 

 Turning to him, I said, “Evushk, she believes you’re still complicit with the Ancients.” 

 “It does seem that way, kuvesk,” Korix said. 

 “Suggestions?” 

 “You know what I’ll say,” Korix said. “Give her one of your guarded truths. If she proves herself untrustworthy, we have many options to keep her from sharing it.” 

 Humming, I returned my attention to Jayla, but her narrowed eyes kept me from speaking. 

 “You’re his student?” she asked. “That makes you…” 

 Resting my elbows on the chair’s arms, I folded my hands on my stomach. 

 “The next Lokke Vitras, yes,” I said. 

 I endured her scrutiny for a while, curious why my revelation had had no effect on her, before pressing into painful territory. 

 “Concerning Fyester,” I said. 

 A soft whine interrupted me. As she hunched in her chair, Jayla turned her face away from me, and I internally cringed at this evidence of the damage I’d scored on her. Hell, she must have loved him. I couldn’t stop now, though. 

 “Concerning Fyester,” I repeated over Jayla, “did you look at the autopsy report that we provided for you?” 

 Pulling her knees to her chest, Jayla murmured something that might have been an affirmative. 

 “Then, you know how he died,” I continued. 

 Hugging her legs, Jayla took a few, deep breaths before glaring at me over them. 

 “You mean besides the energy bolt that you shot through his head?” she said. “Yes, I know, although I’m not sure what could have caused damage like that to his brain.” 

 The gut-punch that her words had delivered caught me off guard, and while I didn’t drop out of mission mode because of it, Jayla frowned at me as if I’d done something odd. 

 “That surprises me,” I managed to say. “I thought for sure that Cerullis’ First Stratus would know what a person’s neural pathways look like once an Ancient’s finished with them.” 

 Sucking in a breath, Jayla sat bolt upright. Her eyes glittered with something that I couldn’t name. 

 “I was right, then?” she asked. “They got to Fy before he died?” 

 His nickname on her tongue sliced through my thoughts, leaving them fluttering in my head. It hadn’t sounded wrong, merely unexpected, and frozen as I was, I could only nod in answer to her question. 

 “I knew it!” Jayla said. “He was so distant, almost cagey, for those last few months. I knew something was wrong, worried that the enemy in our ranks had taken a fancy to him. Then, I got a message saying that he was planning on having a partner over, which was strange. Before that night, he hadn’t dated anyone else for far too long, and his message was the last that I heard from him. Well. Except for when you…” 

 Her frown tipped from befuddlement to consternation while her nose wrinkled, and behind me, Korix shifted. His slight movement, more than anything else, put me on guard, and I watched Jayla for signs of hostility, but all I saw from her was hugely widened eyes before she spoke. 

 “You’re him, the partner Fy mentioned that night. Zaeden, right?” 

 My insides withered because something non-conducive to my role had occurred. Someone in a position of power, unassociated with House Kolb, had learned my name. What should I do? Jayla wasn’t likely to keep this secret to herself, and I couldn’t keep her quiet without resorting to extreme measures, which I’d rather not do. 

 But… why was I worried? After becoming the Lokke Vitras, I had no intention of cutting ties with my siblings, and at some point, someone would put together who I was from that association alone. After that, the name ‘Zaeden’ would be known across Lutov, which meant it wouldn’t be a secret to keep. So… nothing to worry about. Right? 

 “Mother Time, it is you,” Jayla said. “Fy told me so much about you.” 

 Her expression turned severe. 

 “What happened?” she snapped. “Why did you kill him?” 

 Had… had I not share the details of her partner’s end? Damn, why couldn’t I remember whether I had? It was information I’d normally have given her but… 

 It didn’t matter. I could tell her now. 

 “Fyester and I ran into each other on the night in question, although I’ve never been sure about how much of a coincidence that was,” I said. “We went out for drinks to catch up, and he invited me back to his… your place. When we reached your apartment, we… well. I’m sure you don’t want to hear about that part of the night. I wouldn’t. 

 “Fy knew what I was, putting it together from context clues, and while we were… intimate, he attacked me. I fought him off, and once I’d subdued him, my evushk took over.” 

 I jerked my thumb at Korix, resisting the urge to check if he’d maintained his blank façade. I’d be astonished if he hadn’t. 

 “The next day, evushk called me to a cabana on Lake Voxmore’s shore. He had Fy restrained there in the hopes that I could extract intel from him about a scheme that he was involved with. I couldn’t do it.” 

 Maintaining Jayla’s gaze went from difficult to impossible. My eyes, constantly roaming away from her to this point, drifted to the ceiling, there to stay. 

 “Evushk took my place, gaining the information that we needed to save hundreds of lives, but in the process, the Ancient that was controlling him did… that. What you saw in Fyester’s autopsy report,” I said. “Before I abandoned him to die, Fy had begged me to free the spark of his soul… afterward, so when I came back inside and he was…” 

 The past draped over my view of the world. I could see it all again and oh, Mother Time. I’d be sick. 

 “I did as he’d asked,” I said. 

 Forcing myself to meet Jayla’s eyes, I tried to ease the story’s blow. 

 “He was very brave,” I said. “Even knowing what was coming, he did what he could to help us, something that my evushk and I have always been grateful for.” 

 With her face creasing, Jayla examined me, which left me wondering what she was thinking. Had sharing this story helped her, or had I only picked open a scabbed-over wound? 

 “You loved him,” she eventually said. 

 Hesitantly, I nodded, and everything about her hardened into place. Doing what I could to hide it, I braced for her scathing words. 

 “He loved you too.” 

 Wait, what? Had… had I hear that right? I couldn’t have. But when I frowned at Jayla, she nodded. 

 “Fy talked about you all the time,” she said. “He missed you, even years after you disappeared.” 

 Oh. Oh, how my heart ached. 

 “When he told me that he loved you, I got the feeling that I was the first person he’d shared that with,” I said. “You were the only part of this world that he regretted leaving behind.” 

 Jayla slapped a hand over her mouth, raggedly breathing around it. 

 “All these years I’ve hated you,” she said, “and all this time, you gave Fy mercy, not- not-” 

 I… didn’t know about that, but if the misconception got me answers, I wouldn’t dispute it. 

 “What else were you supposed to believe, especially with the information I gave you?” I asked. 

 “I…” 

 Shaking her head, Jayla set her jaw. 

 “I’ll tell you everything I know about the oppressor in our midst,” she said. “I’ve opposed the bastards since Fy’s death, striving to gain greater trust with them so I can wreak havoc in their ranks, but even still, I don’t know much.” 

 That was disappointing, if also expected. Still. 

 “Give us what you can,” I said. “Especially anything to do with the weapons your House has received in recent days." 

 She told me what she knew, but several minutes later, I’d learned nothing new about House Cerullis’ role in this attempt at a takeover, and apparently, Alezand had kept Jayla unaware of his House's involvement in the illegal acquisition of weapons. I wasn't sure how that was possible, but... I wouldn't be surprised if the shukusenth remained secretive about schemes like that with even someone as close to them as their First Stratus. 

 Even with the lack of clarity about the Ancients’ overall plan, I gained one advantage from approaching her. 

 “Not all of my House agrees with our shukusen’s plans, even if we understand the pressure he’s under,” she said. “If and when you unravel this conspiracy, you’ll have our support.” 

 Before I could express my gratitude for that, Korix stepped into the silence. 

 “That’s well and good, but how are we supposed to trust you, given all that you’ve shared about Cerullis' plans?” he said. “My kuvesk has given you cause to trust him, but you have yet to do the same. In fact, you’ve done the opposite. How can we expect that you won’t betray us like you’ve done with your House, where your loyalty should always lie?” 

 Guffawing, Jayla rocked in her chair. 

 “You doubt my trustworthiness?” she said. “That’s rich. How deeply have you betrayed Lutov and your House, oh most vaunted Lokke Vitras?” 

 Gritting my teeth, I shot forward to tell this woman exactly how much Korix had sacrificed for her and every other Lutovish citizen. Only his hand on my shoulder, gently squeezing, stopped me. 

 “I hear your words and accept your rightful outrage,” he said, “but my question remains.” 

 A new note had entered his voice. It was the same one I’d heard while in House Kolb’s headquarters yesterday morning, and always, it had come after someone had mentioned the dark spots in his brain. The hairs on the back of my neck rose, and I dove through the feeds of this study’s recorders until I could see Korix. In him, I found nothing to substantiate this roil in my guts but… 

 “What would it take to prove my loyalty to Lutov rather than my House?” Jayla asked. 

 I took over before Korix could suffer more from this exchange. 

 “Keep me notified of sudden changes within your House,” I said. “I’ve sent you my array’s access information. Have you received it?” 

 “I have,” Jayla replied. “Is there anything else I can do?” 

 Having an inside woman within the ranks of the enemy’s puppet was more than I’d expected to gain from this confrontation. It almost made up for our failure when ransacking shukusen Alezand’s office, but still, I couldn’t help asking for more. 

 “I don’t suppose you can help us get out of here?” I said. 

 I half-expected Jayla to laugh at me, but she brightened instead, springing to her feet so suddenly that her chair almost toppled behind her. 

 “I can, actually,” she chirped. 

 At her gesture, the painting opposite us dissipated, leaving behind the top of a lift. 

 “My private bolt hole,” Jayla said. “It’s been in the First Stratus’ office for ages, known only to them and their shukusen, but Alezand’s away right now, unable to stop your escape. If you take the lift, you’ll find yourself at ground level behind a concealed door. From there, you’ll be on your own.” 

 She knew how to earn a House Kolb member’s trust. Escape routes were sacred to them, and while I knew they weren’t as important within the other Houses, an instinctual part of me admired Jayla for sharing this secret. 

 “We can get away safely once we’re free of this place,” I said. 

 Rising, I extended my hand to Jayla. 

 “Thank you for your help.” 

 She took what I’d offered, holding my hand rather than shaking it. 

 “It’s what Fy would have wanted,” she said. “I’m sorry for my hostility toward you all those years ago, Zaeden. You only did what you could to help the man we loved, and I treated you like garbage for a kindness I never could have given.” 

 “I… never blamed you for it,” I said. 

 I had nothing else to give Jayla, no matter how much her searching gaze begged for more. Eventually, she released me, gesturing toward her bolt hole. 

 “I’ll notify you if I notice anything suspicious,” she said. 

 Bowing, I said, “We thank you.” 

 With nothing more, I circled the office until I stepped into the lift, trusting that Korix would follow me. On the way down Cerullis’ headquarters, I unpacked everything that Jayla had resurfaced, every bittersweet memory of Fyester, before bottling it up again. So, when Korix joined me in the park outside, I was returned to my natural state. 

 “Well! That was interesting,” I said. “Thanks for joining me.” 

 “Mm.” 

 I got nothing more, which was strange. If Korix wasn’t up for talking, he usually told me, but this time, he merely strode toward a shuttle stop, acting as if I wasn’t at his side. Like he had when leaving House Kolb’s headquarters earlier. I’d never figured out what had been wrong then. What the hell was going on? 

 With my narrow-eyed gaze pinned between his shoulders, I ran through a list of reasons why he might be acting unlike himself. If I could identify the cause of this change, maybe I could prepare for the shitstorm that was sure to come with it. 

 Somehow, I doubted I'd manage that, but still, I considered it as we reached the shuttle stop and boarded one that would take us toward my parents' home

Chapter 86: Cheering Up an Asshole
The air around Korix hung heavy on the shuttle ride home, and given how much they’d pulled away from us, our fellow passengers must have  felt it too. He didn’t seem to notice, keeping his forehead plastered to the glass as he stared out at the city, passing us by. 

 I couldn’t bring myself to ask what was wrong, not when something in his bearing screamed of a need for solitude. When we reached our stop, I was ecstatic to hop onto the platform, leaving the tension in the shuttle behind. 

 I'd already messaged Talira with our findings from our midnight excursion. She hadn't been pleased to learn that I hadn't followed her orders, but once she'd finished lecturing me about that, she'd agreed with the conclusions I'd drawn. Much as I wished it were otherwise, Korix and I had already finished our part in the investigation into Niklaus, his stolen weapons, and his 'rival'. We'd have to leave the rest to the lower Strata, at least for now. So... we had no other excuse to avoid an attempt at relaxing. 

 As we walked through my parents’ front door, I wasn't sure how good either of us would be at it. I was certainly less rattled by yesterday's events than I had been on trying to sleep, but the mystery of it hadn't quite faded to something I could ignore. 

 And I was still at a loss as to what was bothering Korix. Plenty of theories had gone through my head, but all of them flew through one ear and out the other. 

 Korix had his bad moods, of course. Everyone did, but he was old enough and had kept tight control of his emotions for long enough that he could usually tell me when they happened, which I appreciated. It let me know when I should work on cheering him up. 

 What he was showing me now wasn’t like that. He’d fallen into himself with no attempt to talk made and no cheery smile donned to let me know he’d be ok. He was almost… broody, which made me sick to my stomach to think about. 

 Without pausing to ask for guidance, Korix blazed through the apartment, a thundercloud in human form. That he knew this place’s layout didn’t surprise me. Apartments across Xygek were constructed in a similar fashion, after all, but I was curious why he was revealing his knowledge now. He usually held things like that to his chest for as long as he could. Was he just that wrapped up in his thoughts? 

 When he turned into the kitchen, my concern for him skyrocketed. I knew what he wanted—I was hungry too—but he wouldn’t find the peace that he was looking for here. 

 Korix stopped inside the entrance, and while I joined him, he glanced over what would be his workspace. 

 “This is pathetic,” he said under his breath. 

 I had to agree with him. All the filled this room were a table and its chairs, several out-of-place crates, and a refectory. Feena was standing in front of that last item, caught halfway through claiming her meal. 

 “Don’t worry, Ko. I’ve gotten things ready for when you woke up,” I said. “I figured you’d want a more well-stocked kitchen, and while I couldn’t get appliances installed in time, we can make do.” 

 Striding to the crates, I tapped one, grinning at him. He didn’t move, merely staring at me, and rolling my eyes, I opened my acquisitions, starting from the top. As I ripped into the first one’s interior, Feena cleared her throat. 

 “Um. Excuse me, but… what are you doing?” she asked. “I’ve noticed these things taking up space over the last few days, but I thought they held… I don’t know. Weapons or something?” 

 Chuckling, I said, “Nope.” 

 I pulled scaled and deboned salmon fillets out of the chilled space they’d been occupying, inspecting one of them through its rime-coated plastic. With only two days spent in the cold, it should be fine, but I’d always found it best to check food for rot, especially when fish was involved. With our arrays controlling our bodies down to its cells, food poisoning was basically a thing of the past, but if the disease wasn’t caught early enough, its symptoms could still present for an hour or so, which wasn’t pleasant. 

 Resting what I was holding on the table, I retrieved a bag of rice and some salad ingredients before opening another crate. In this one, I found a rice cooker and more importantly, knives. As I laid these items out, Feena stopped behind me, looking over my shoulder. 

 “What on earth are you doing?’ she asked. 

 “Cooking,” I said, “or at least starting the process. It would help if my head chef would get over here.” 

 Flipping a knife so that its blade was pointing toward me, I offered the handle to Korix, who was still standing in the doorway. 

 “Why would you cook-?” 

 “Feena, my dear sister,” I interrupted. "You’re more than welcome to stay and watch us work, if you like, but right now, you need to give me space.” 

 “O… k…” 

 She backed off, showing me her palms, and I thrust my knife toward Korix. 

 “Will you help me or not?” I asked. 

 Slowly, he took the knife, and I shoved a tomato at him. While he diced it, I started cooking some rice, all while grating ginger for a salad dressing. As always when it came to this activity, we fell into a rhythm with Korix taking the lead. I completed every menial task that he, as the master craftsman, couldn’t be bothered to complete, and while doing that, I watched him from the corner of my eye, chewing on the inside of my lip. Not even this, his most favored coping mechanism, was helping. 

 While we worked, more family members trickled into the kitchen to watch us, and at some point, Feena retrieved her food, munching on it while leaning on a wall. Ignoring them was more difficult than I’d thought it would be. They were family, avidly observing what we were doing, rather than strangers, causally taking note of our activities. 

 Fortunately, I had aids to help with this, besides the puzzle of Korix of course. Our workspace was small with barely enough room on it for one cutting board and the rice cooker, let alone a place to prepare dishes as well. Having no appliances, besides the rice cooker, became a challenge as well. We had to get creative with dishes that might normally require a blender or food processor. 

 In the end, however, we finished making our impromptu meal, and as if emerging from a dream, Korix frowned at our audience. 

 “We didn’t make enough food,” he said, as if to himself. 

 “Not to worry. My family was just leaving,” I said before glaring at them. “Right?” 

 Jumping as if caught playing one of my pranks, my parents dropped their fond smiles, mumbling apologies as they scurried out of the room, but Feena paused before leaving. 

 “Shall I retrieve Leski for you?” she asked. “The poor dear woke up just a bit ago, worried sick about where you'd gone.” 

 Hell. Leski. I'd forgotten to leave her a message about what I'd left to do, as I should have done before traipsing off into greater Xygek. Damn, I’d gotten rusty at this dating thing. 

 I, however, couldn’t change the past. It was best to move forward. 

 “Will you let her know I’m back?” I said. “I’ll check on her as soon as I’m finished here.” 

 “Sure thing,” Feena says. “Enjoy your… food.” 

 A snorting laugh followed her as she rounded the corner, and once she was gone, I returned my attention to the current object of my concern, only to find him staring at our used knives with fixation. After directing the drones to deal with the dirty dishes, I flopped into a chair, balancing on its back legs. 

 “Well?” I said. “Will you tell me what I did wrong while in House Cerullis’ headquarters?” 

 I was ready to hear it. Mission review usually came next in this protocol, after all. 

 “What’s the point?” Korix said. “Soon, I’ll no longer be your evushk. The role’s been taken from me. So, what more do I have to teach you?” 

 While he filled his plate, I snapped my eyes to slits. Was this why he was so morose? With his plunge into despondency coming so soon after Jayla’s reminder of his ‘betrayal’, I’d thought it would have something to do with that, but I supposed the coming changes could be the cause too. 

 Sitting beside me, Korix started eating salmon-wrapped rice balls, and I let my chair’s legs thunk to the ground. Not going to wait for me, was he? That was different. 

 Without rising, I claimed what I wanted of our bounty, and as I took my first bite, I laid my hand, palm up, on the table between us. For a while, this was fine, but once I eventually noticed that no warmth had filled it, I glanced between it and Korix several times with my appetite gone. He’d never refused me this comfort, as it had always served as a lifeline for us both. 

 This paralyzed me so absolutely that Korix had gotten through half of his meal before I could think again. Curling my fingers into a fist, I retracted it, punching the seat between my legs as I grabbed his shirt and jerked him my way. 

 “All right. Spill it,” I snapped. “What’s wrong?” 

 No eyebrow was raised, and no amusement radiated from Korix. As he stared at me, I didn’t see the man I loved but a hollow shell that was masquerading as him. 

 “What do you mean?” he asked. “Everything’s fine-” 

 I shook him. I didn’t mean to do it, but something had hold of me as solidly as what was holding his attention. 

 “Don’t give me that,” I snarled. “I know something’s wrong, and I swear. If you don’t tell me what the fuck it is, I will… I’ll…” 

 I didn’t know what I’d do, but whatever it was, it would drag Korix out of the mire he’d sunken into. It was helping no one, least of all him. 

 Sighing, Korix shifted his gaze to the refectory. 

 “You don’t want to know,” he said. “Not yet at least.” 

 Ah. He was trying to protect me, huh? Leaning forward, I laid my hand on his cheek, turning him back to me. 

 “Tell me anyway. Please,” I said. “Otherwise, I’ll focus on nothing else in my free time, and you know how badly I’ll need that over the next few days. Besides, don’t you know that helping you is one of my greatest joys in life?” 

 He searched me, for what I didn’t know, but he didn’t find it. Slumping, he slid his hands down my arm, pulling my palm off of his face. Gently, he lowered the resulting finger bundle into his lap and almost, started then and there, but before the words could come out, he bit his lip, tightening his hold on me. 

 “The brain scan that Talira showed you before waking me up,” he eventually said. “You asked me what the black spots on it were?” 

 Oh… shit. This conversation was about to take a swift downward turn, wasn’t it? 

 Swallowing hard, I nodded for Korix to continue. 

 “The truth is, we’re not sure what they are. Even millennia after Lutov’s founding, we’re still guessing at the specifics of how the brain works,” he said. “On a fundamental level, we know that the blackened portions of mine no longer give off electrical activity, which makes them virtually dead. What that means in practice, though? It…” 

 After squeezing his eyes closed, Korix rubbed his face, hiding his eyes. 

 “You know the episodes I have? What you call ‘falling into my past’?” he asked. 

 “Yes…?” I drawled. 

 I hated where this was going. 

 “First of all, that symptom is not exclusive to my physical condition. Everyone who goes through a traumatic event may eventually experience something similar, but even still they are also a symptom of those splotches. We know this because I’ve had so-called flashbacks that were caused exclusively by trauma before, and the ones you notice and comment on, the ones where I act out, feel completely different to me. They’re… more intense, and that’s all I’ll share about those differences. I don’t want to… scare you,” Korix said. “Some other symptoms of the splotches are…” 

 Swallowing, he shifted in place, dropping his gaze to our clasped hands. 

 “I’ve never mentioned this before because it’s typically a non-issue for me,” he haltingly said, “but I… see things, Zae. Fantastical things that aren’t there. And occasionally, reality just… skews for me, like I’ve been dropped into another dimension. I don’t know how else to put it.  can usually handle those symptoms, or at least ignore them, but when my past comes back to haunt me in full? You know what that looks like. 

 “And it’s only getting worse. Soon, I’ll be nothing but a violent, highly trained instrument of death, completely detached from reality, constantly reliving every traumatic moment of my past, and entirely lost in them. When that happens, I have contingencies prepared, something that will see the danger that I’ll become removed from the board. That’s what’s wrong. I’ve been considering that eventuality.” 

 With nothing else, Korix stopped his barrage, and for a moment, I just blinked at him. What was this inferno, licking at my thoughts? It had set my insides ablaze, and with my back ramrod straight, I sat perfectly still, unsure what else I could do. If I moved a muscle, I was afraid of what would pour out of me. 

 Meanwhile, Korix watched me with pinched eyes. 

 “Zae-?” he started. 

 Yanking my claimed hand out of his grip, I jabbed his chest. 

 “You mean to have someone kill you?” I hissed. 

 Glancing at my finger, Korix said, “Yes. Talira, most likely. She’s the only person who’s bested me in decades.” 

 I’d thought that when something like this happened—and I hadn’t been naïve enough to think that it wouldn’t—I’d scream in Korix’s face or rattle his bones. Instead, I’d become flesh covering an ice-block interior. 

 Calmly rising out of my chair, I walked out the door, leaving the meal that I’d barely started behind, and if my stride jerked from one step to the next, I didn’t acknowledge it. When he caught up, Korix hurried in front of me, walking backward. 

 “Zae, please,” he said. 

 “I’m not ready to talk to you yet,” I said. 

 The chill in my voice transferred to him, freezing him solid, and I roughly brushed past him. After a moment, the staccato beat of his footsteps followed me, which was good. Herding him along while also gathering Leski would have been annoying, which on top of everything else… 

 I just couldn't handle it. Things had gotten so  warped when it came to the people I was romantically involved with. We needed to handle these problems, preferably before they spiraled out of control.

Chapter 87: You Idiots
Finding Leski didn’t take me long. When I stormed into my parents’ garden, she was examining the arrangement of its azalea bushes, exactly where the recorder system had said she’d be. As I approached, she glanced up with her face brightening. 

 “Zae, hi! I didn’t see you this morning,” she asked. “Where did you go?” 

 “Out,” I said, short and to the point. 

 I couldn’t afford anything else right now. 

 By this point, I’d reached her, and after taking her hand, I reversed course, pulling her behind me. 

 “Wha-? Zae! What are you-?” 

 I ignored her, just as I ignored when she wrenched her hand free of mine. 

 “Do you know what’s going on?” she asked. 

 “No idea,” Korix said. 

 Sure, he didn’t know. He wasn’t the one who’d caused this fugue in me or anything. 

 Damnit, he should know by now that lying wasn’t good for a relationship, especially not for the one that must form between him and Leski, but I didn’t have the focus needed to berate him for his misstep. All of it was focused on the problems they were facing. 

 When we reached the apartment’s front door, a drone was waiting for me, placidly floating in place, and I snatched what it was holding, barely taking the time to reinforce its usual routines before barreling outside. Thank Mother Time that it was so early in the morning, leaving walkways mostly empty and the sun yet to peek its head above the horizon. With that, I didn’t have to check if Leski and Korix were following me as I marched toward our destination. 

 The walk didn’t take long. After the shortest six minutes that I’d ever experienced, I was standing at the base of a familiar tower, looking up toward its apex. While I waited for the others to orient themselves, I let memories flood through me, remembering the last night that I’d claimed true freedom. No matter how bitter those memories were now. 

 Tonight, we had no need to race for the summit. After Korix and Leski had caught their breath, we took the same route that I’d used when Feena had undertaken this ritual with me: a lift. Only once Xygek was spread out around us did I let myself look at the people I cared for. 

 Confusion had taken root in them both, and while Korix had resolutely fixed his eyes on me, Leski was looking out over the horizon. I gave them a moment to quash any fears that I might have spawned, and once tension had leaked out of their bodies, I got started. 

 “Before we get to the reason I brought you here, let’s discuss what connects you,” I said. “I’m in a relationship with you both, and an understandable amount of hostility lies between you. If possible, I would prefer to address this now. So. Leski, you’re unhappy about the violence that took place between evushk and me in the House Cerullis’ facility. Would you like to talk about that?” 

 Crossing her arms, Leski shifted from foot to foot, refusing to meet my eyes. 

 “I don't- You expect me to-" 

 She huffed in exasperation. 

 "No, you're right. We should talk about this. But what do you expect me to say, Zae? That I’m ok with being near a man who nearly killed you a few weeks ago?” she said. “Sure, I had an… uncomfortable conversation with him earlier, one that explained things, but… I don’t know.” 

 She paused for a moment before continuing in a halting fashion. 

 “Granted, you’ve seemed different since he woke up. More… centered? Better. If the change I’m seeing is what this man does for you, then he's clearly a good influence. Given that and the circumstances of your fight, I know I shouldn't hold what happened against him, especially not when you’ve already forgiven him for it. Even still, I guess… I’m just scared of him, but what else should you expect from me. He’s the Lokke Vitras!” 

 She cut off, biting her lip, all while I winced. No matter how much Korix and I knew that people were afraid of us, hearing someone talk about it always hurt. 

 “You’re right to be afraid,” Korix said. “After seeing me fight Zaeden, you must know that I’d find it easy to crush you.” 

 What was he-? That was not helping! 

 “But I’ve never intentionally hurt an innocent, Leski,” he continued. “I don’t go out of my way to hurt anyone. Unfortunately, it’s just a part of what I do. So, in another way, you have nothing to fear from me. Unless you want it, I will never touch a hair on your head. It’s the least I can do after I failed your mother.” 

 Bristling, Leski extended a finger toward Korix. 

 “And there’s that!” she said. “How is it that you knew my mother? Hell, you visited her when I was a child. You were at her damn Dispersal, for Mother Time’s sake!” 

 He had been? That was odd. Usually, only the deceased’s loved ones and close friends were invited to the Dispersal of someone’s ashes. Why had Korix been there for Laryse’s? 

 He’d gone quiet, taking on an air I knew well. It meant we wouldn’t be getting an answer from him anytime soon, and after a while of enduring this, Leski clicked her tongue. 

 “I see where Zae learned how to be an obstinate asshole,” she said, “but never mind that. Will you at least tell me why I saw you at my home after she died? Were you… involved with that?” 

 “No!” Korix said. 

 With his eyes wide, he drew himself up, and his breathing momentarily hitched. Oh, shit. Was he about to lose it? 

 After a moment, he said, “I had nothing to do with your mother’s death. Laryse was my-” 

 …His what? Partner? Friend? Either way, it put his side of Laryse's story in an entirely different light. No wonder he’d gotten so upset when it had come up. 

 Taking a calming breath, Korix said, “Your mother was one of the most wonderful people I’ve had the pleasure of knowing. In many ways, you remind me of her, although a vast swath of your personality is distinctly you.” 

 When he gave her a small smile, Leski flushed, jerking her head to the side. Blowing hair out of her eyes, she quickly turned blazing eyes back on Korix. 

 “Ok. I believe you, which is good. I wasn’t sure what I’d do if you’d murdered her, like I’ve sometimes wondered over the years,” she said, “but if you didn’t hurt her…” 

 Biting her lip, she glanced at me. 

 “Zae trusts you, even after everything you did, and you’ve been nothing but polite and respectful since then,” she said, as if to herself. 

 For an agonizing minute, she stopped talking, merely chewing on her lip as she thought. Then, she said. 

 “That means I should trust you too, and that means we should wipe the slate clean between us, erasing our shared history. Nothing lies between us now. Not yet.” 

 With a half-smile, she extended a hand. 

 “I’m Leski, unHoused, daughter to Second Stratus Niklaus,” she said. “I’m pleased to make your acquaintance.” 

 Korix seemed stunned. Rapidly blinking, he hesitantly took her hand before pausing, clearly unsure what to share with her. Content to stay on the sidelines to this point, I nonetheless recognized that I should step in now. 

 “You said you’d help me with this,” I said. “She needs everything, so give her everything.” 

 And slumping, the man I loved surrendered something that, over the course of several decades, he’d only given to me. 

 “I’m Korix, First Stratus of House Kolb,” he said, “also known as the Lokke Vitras.” 

 Leski’s grin turned impish as she pumped Korix’s arm up and down. 

 “Nice to meet you,” she said. “In the future, let’s only work toward each other’s happiness.” 

 I didn’t wait for Korix to reply. With their conflict mostly resolved, I grabbed their wrists, drawing them to the safety railing along the edge of the tower’s top. Releasing them, I slung my legs over it before patting the pole on either side of me. They exchanged a glance, but shrugging, both of them followed my example. 

 As soon as they’d joined me, leaving three sets of legs dangling into thin air, I offered what I’d taken from the drone to Leski. 

 “You’ll need this,” I said. 

 Given our mission earlier, Korix wouldn’t require the same, and if Leski had been paying any attention during her House Kolb rotations, she should know how to don what I’d given her. Indeed, she slapped the P.I.G. to the back of her hand, even as befuddlement captured her face. 

 “Zae, what-?” she started. 

 Tangling my fingers in her hair, I pulled her to me, silencing her with a kiss, and when I backed off, her eyes had unfocused a sufficient degree. With my goal achieved, I rested one hand on her back while brushing the other across her cheek. 

 “I have words for you, but I need you to know that when I say them, I’m not lecturing you,” I said. “Yes, I have more years to my name, but I’m not presuming to know better than you might. All I’m giving you is a piece of my own experience.” 

 I made sure she’d heard me before moving on. 

 “So, here’s what I have to say: Don’t let anything restrain you, especially  not your father. Live vicariously. Live the way you want, whether with him in your life or not, and never let anyone tell you how you should love.” 

 A glistening sheen coated Leski’s eyes, and she opened her mouth, but before she could speak, I shoved her. Flailing, she tumbled off of the railing, and I watched her drop until I spotted the flare of her repulsors. Only then did I turn to Korix, but he looked ready for me. His body was loose, prepared for a long fall. 

 Grinning, I cupped his neck, pulling him to where our foreheads were touching, before unleashing my frustration on him. 

 “Forgive my impertinence, evushk,” I said, “but fuck you for thinking that you can give up so easily. You say your mind’s breaking? Fight for it, and for the love of Mother Time, let others help you with that struggle. Don’t willingly leave the one who can never love you behind.” 

 And I waited, despite how far Leski was pulling away from us. I had to hear him say it. 

 “I’ll try, Zae,” Korix breathes. 

 It would have to be enough.

Chapter 88: Conflict Resolution
I pulled Korix to me, pressing our lips together, and as I entangled my body with his, I tipped us backward, relinquishing our perch for a free fall. As we plummeted toward the ground, Korix shoved his hands beneath my clothing, and for a moment, I relived the rush that I’d felt during my first drop like this. Before the sensation could claim me heart and spark of soul, though, I pushed Korix away. 

 Wait, I sent via message. Much as I want you, I have to think about Leski too. I don’t know how she’d react to… this. 

 Even twisting through the air as we were, I caught Korix’s smirk. 

 Then, until we’re on the ground, let’s keep her from seeing it, was what I received in response. Unless you don’t think you can control yourself once we’re down there? 

 A chuckle flourished in me—he was onto something about my control, after all—and pointing my body downward, I raced after Leski’s trail. Thank Mother Time that she was headed in the right direction. I could have corrected her trajectory if needed, but I was happy that I wouldn’t have to. It let me enjoy this fall without worrying about her. 

 Korix and I spiraled through air traffic, dancing so close to one another that we might as well have been kissing, before one thing or another pulled us apart. When we eventually alighted on the grass below, I was having a hard time with remembering that anyone but him existed in the world. 

 Fortunately, Leski helped with that effort. Storming to me, she shoved a finger in my face. 

 “What was that?” she snapped. “You could have killed me!” 

 Taking hold of her finger, I said, “That was me reminding you idiots of things you should already know. Also, if I’d thought you couldn’t handle a drop like that, I wouldn’t have pushed you, although perhaps I should have given you a warning. Still. Should I have left you alone up there?” 

 I yanked her into my arms, kissing her palm, and fixing her eyes on that, she frowned. 

 “You’re impossible to deal with, you know,” she said. 

 “I’m exceedingly aware,” I said against her skin. 

 Releasing my hold on her, I pulled away, stretching my arms overhead. 

 “And I hope you two have learned your lessons! I swear, you’re the most unlikely kuveskt that I ever thought to teach, but hell, if lecturing you wasn’t fun,” I said. “We should head back now, though. Talira told us to stay well rested, and while you might have been following that command, Leski, I know Ko and I haven't..” 

 When I brought my arms down, Korix grabbed one of them, holding it in an iron grip. 

 “Excuse me. Who did you just call your kuvesk?” he growled. 

 I donned my most cheeky grin for him, but before I could unleash any snark, Leski slipped in between us, sticking a finger in my face again. 

 "I don't need you telling me what to do about my  father," she said. "Have you lived with him for the last twenty-five years? No.  I'm  the one that's put up with his bullshit. I'm the one that has to figure out how I feel about what he did to- to my-" 

 Cutting off, she bit back a sob, and I reached out to comfort her, even if I was a little confused what she was upset about. Yes, I'd briefly mentioned a couple of her options for future contact with Niklaus, but I hadn't meant to imply she should choose one of them over the other. Was that what she'd heard? 

 "I would never tell you what you should do about him," I said. "You're dealing with a lot right now, and I'll be here to support you, whatever you decide." 

 Leski’s face went sour while her lips started trembling, and I couldn’t tell if it was because she hadn’t liked what I’d said or because I'd further brought her source of conflict into focus. Before I could figure that out, Korix jerked me forward, and I crashed into Leski, instinctually wrapping my arms around her.  

 I meant to twist myself to shield her fall, if we did happen to lose our balance, but as if to frustrate me, Korix took a fistful of Leski’s coat. Along with his hold on my arm, he used that grip to steady us, and by the time we were stable once more, Leski was clinging to me with her face buried in my chest, sobbing. This sudden flood of tears was probably just a release of the tension that she’d accumulated over the last half hour and nothing more, but even still, I glared at Korix. 

 “What the fuck?” I asked in sub-vocals. 

 Shrugging he replied in kind, “You asked me to help.” 

 Patting Leski’s back, I narrowed my eyes at him, refusing to lift my gaze until she pushed away from me. 

 “I’m sorry,” she said. “You’re right about it all. It’s just… I love my dad, even if with everything he's done. How sad is that? I have to be the worst daughter, no. The worst  person  for being so confused about all of this." 

 Oh, hell no. Niklaus had already caused enough trouble in Leski's life. I wouldn't let this problem between them cause even more turmoil for her, especially not when it came in the form of self-loathing. 

 “You don’t have to explain yourself to me, especially not when it comes to trouble with a parent,” I said. “Unless I’m remembering this wrong, my parents had me throwing an enormous temper tantrum two weeks ago, and you had to pull me out of it.” 

 “You did what now?” Korix said. 

 I shook my head at him, hoping to continue with my train of thought, but Leski turned to him with a mischievous grin in place, clearly relieved by the change in subject. 

 “He had a tantrum,” she said. “Punched a wall, broke a mirror, and everything.” 

 When Korix just looked at me, I sheepishly smiled, rubbing the back of my neck. 

 “I’d just lost you, ok?” I said. “But I know. I should still have better control of my emo-mph!” 

 Staggering a little, I struggled to stay on my feet and kiss Korix back, all while knowing a woman had been trapped between us. She, however, didn’t seem to mind her situation, or she hadn’t protested it, at least. Unmoving, she stayed quiet while I oscillated between whether I should push Korix away or not, but when I eventually gave in, opening my mouth to him, and a pleased sound from… someone—I wasn’t sure who—hummed in the air between us, she started wiggling against me. 

 Reluctantly, I backed off. Before I could step away, though, Leski took hold of my shirt, pulling me down to her mouth, and I locked up, body and mind. What… was going on? 

 Retreating the barest amount, she clicked her tongue. 

 “Zaeden, if you don’t kiss me back, I’ll have to find someone else to help with this desire that you spawned,” she said, “and I’d rather not do that.” 

 For a moment, I could only blink at her, but when she rolled her eyes, about to turn away, I did as she'd asked. As always with her, I quickly got lost in it, but I wasn’t too far gone to miss when Korix released my arm. Without thought, I shot my hand out, wrapping my fingers in his waistband. He wasn’t going anywhere, damnit, not even a few steps away. 

 Unfortunately, he didn’t seem to agree with my resolve, trying to escape from me, and the struggle of maintaining my hold pulled my attention away from Leski. Groaning, she broke our kiss to throw her head back. 

 “Mother Time, you two,” she said under her breath. 

 She strode a few steps away before plopping into the grass. Glancing at us, she patted the ground beside her, and with my head cocked, I sat as she’d instructed. Korix reluctantly followed, and once we were both on the ground, Leski clicked her tongue again, obviously frustrated with us. 

 “It’s like I have to do everything,” she said. 

 Getting to her knees, she tugged me next to Korix before shuffling to face us, and for a moment, she merely stared while sucking on her lip. Then, she displayed an evil grin. Oh, no. What was she-? 

 “Perfect,” she said. 

 Then, she tackled us. Normally, a person of her size wouldn’t come anywhere close to toppling me or Korix, but with a grin, I let it happen, grabbing Korix’s arm on the way down. That added force pulled him backward along with us. 

 “You know…” I drawled, “if you wanted a cuddle pile, all you had to do was ask.” 

 “Shut up and snuggle me, you snarky bastard,” Leski said into my chest. 

 Laughing, I threw an arm around her before twisting in place, getting her between me and Korix. While I cuddled as close to her as I could, he raised himself up onto an elbow, watching us with his eyebrows drawn together. After a moment of this, Leski again groaned, slapping at me until I loosened my hold. 

 Craning her neck toward Korix, she said, “You too, scary man. Cuddle me. Now. Unless you don’t want to, of course.” 

 Korix lifted an eyebrow. 

 “What makes you think you can order me around?” he mildly asked. 

 “Necessity,” Leski said. “If I hadn’t changed something, both of you would have been awkward messes around me, which I for sure do not want, so here we are. And I hope to Mother Time that you never make me order you around again. I don’t like doing it.” 

 Confusion passed over Korix’s face until he saw the smirk on my face. Then, he went blank. 

 “I see,” he said. 

 “She’s also a tease,” I said. 

 “I see that too.” 

 “Hey! I’m right here,” Leski said. “Also. You.” 

 Awkwardly reaching behind herself, she poked Korix’s chest. 

 “Cuddles. Right fucking now. That or tell us you don’t want to so we can get back to our beds.” 

 When he didn’t move, I decided to help Leski along, going deadly serious. 

 “Please, Ko. I know you like this sort of thing,” I said. “It’ll be good for you, and everyone here could use it after the last few weeks.” 

 Lifting his eyes to the sky, Korix sighed, but he lay back down, and for a while, I closed my eyes, enjoying the rare opportunity of having two partners so physically close to me. Soon enough, we’d need to head home, but for now… for now, I let myself rest. 

 Korix and Leski talked in halting sentences, ones that became more animated with every minute that passed. During this conversation, Leski might have played the part of the teasing flirt, and perhaps Korix inched a little closer to her. I wouldn’t know. In my haze of contentment, all I heard was the people I cared for interacting with each other. Happy. 

 They were happy. That was all I wanted. 

 Clutching them to me, I said, “It doesn’t matter what Lutov or the world might need from me. You are the reason that I fight.” 

 I didn’t care if Korix stiffened at those words. I didn’t care that I was unsure if I could fully reciprocate Leski’s feelings. I didn’t care what challenges I was facing, either with them or in a general sense. With these two people, I’d found a sense of family that I hadn’t felt in ages, and I’d be damned if I was letting it go.

Addendum
In the end, I had to let them go, no matter how unwillingly. You and your family have served as a wonderful stopgap for what I’ve lost, Elliot, but you can never fill the hole of what I’ve left behind, much as they could never do the same for you. 

 Two things you should know before you fall into the despondency that my assertion might have invoked. 

 One: my family dynamic changed long before I met you. Years ago, one of us was prematurely lost to the Collective, and those of us who survived never recovered from it. 

 Two: the fact that you haven’t replaced an abandoned family makes you no less important. You’ve carved a place into my heart as deep as Leski and Korix ever claimed. 

 Anyway, this signals the beginning of this story's conclusion. Only a few days linger between what you just heard and what’s soon to come. I hope you enjoy the next bit, Elliot. These days shaped me into the type of Lokke Vitras that I would play over the decades, but I suppose you’ll see that soon enough.

Chapter 89: Questionable Disciplinary Action
Carefully, I lifted the decanter on my grandmother’s sideboard and tilted it over my flask’s narrow opening, watching the resulting trickle of amber liquid with my tongue caught between my teeth. I needed steady hands for this, couldn’t allow a drop to spill, but when someone was glaring at me from where he was leaning against a glass wall, it didn’t help with my focus. 

 “You shouldn’t play pranks on your shukusen.” Korix said. 

 “She’s also my grandmother,” I said. “Plus, she’s used to it.” 

 With a sigh, Korix said, “Zaeden…” 

 Resting an empty decanter on the sideboard, I capped my flask, raising an eyebrow as I did so. 

 “Yes?” 

 Korix just stared at me, and rolling my eyes, I exchanged one flask for another. 

 “Come on, Ko. In all your years together, you’ve never wanted to spread a little mischief at Talira’s expense?” I said. “I know I did when you first started training me.” 

 Crossing his arms, Korix looked expectantly at me, but I merely grinned at him. If he was going to use such an easy cop-out, he’d have to speak the words. 

 “Shukusen Talira was my evushk as well as the Lokke Vitras before me,” he said, “and she was good at it. Better than me.” 

 I knew this. He’d had me watch enough holodramas of her missions before. 

 “You didn’t answer my question,” I said, resting one hand on a hip. “If you’ve ever wanted to play a prank on my grandmother, you should do it now. Once we’ve handled this crisis, I doubt you’ll spend much time in this room, and with me here now, she’ll never blame this prank on you. After all, who has a history of being a troublesome brat?” 

 I extended the second flask to Korix, and he fixed his gaze on it with indecision rife on him. He clearly wanted to take what I was offering, but ingrained habits made that difficult for him. That was ok. I liked tempting him, in this and every other way, and over the years, I’d become an expert at it. 

 With a special smirk in place, I shook what I was holding, and clicking his tongue, Korix pushed himself off of the window, marching my way. He snatched the flask from me, popping it open while grabbing the decanter. Without hesitation, he transferred colored water from one container to the other, and slapping the emptied flask to my chest, he made to storm away, but I grabbed his wrist before he could. 

 “See?” I said. “That wasn’t so bad, was it?” 

 Korix huffed, flicking his eyes away from me, and stashing the flask, I took his other hand, squeezing it with a half-smile. 

 “A little harmless defiance is good for the spark of your soul, Ko,” I said. 

 Blowing out a breath, Korix lifted his eyes skyward with a headshake. 

 “You’re such a bad influence on me,” he said. 

 “Yes,” I drawled, “but!” 

 Releasing my hold on him, I lifted a finger. 

 “I’m good for you too.” 

 Chuckling, Korix drew me to him, resting his chin on my shoulder. 

 “As I’ve said before, you save me,” he said. 

 I wrapped my arms under his, contentedly sighing. His warmth seeped into me, finding every worry in my head and ripping them out, and almost, I could forget why we were here.  

 In the window opposite me, though, I watched Talira stride into her office, stopping short when she saw us, and it all came rushing back in. She cleared her throat. 

 “Excuse me, my most capable of warriors, but we have work to do,” she said, “and I need a drink.” 

 Of course. Meeting with the shukusenth, as she’d just done, could be absolutely maddening. 

 Untangling from each other, Korix and I took our seats while Talira poured herself a drink. When she joined us at her desk, I maintained a straight face while keeping half an eye on Korix. I knew he’d never give us away but… 

 Sinking into her chair, Talira said, “Right. I hope you two are prepared for disappointment because I have nothing but bad news.” 

 With a grimace, she lifted her tumbler to her lips, taking a sip, and froze. Slowly, she lowered her drink, glowering at me, and I innocently batted my eyes. 

 “Zaeden, no House, you’d better not have gotten rid of my brandy,” she growled. 

 Cocking my head, I frowned. 

 “I don’t know what you mean,” I said. 

 Slapping her desk, Talira snapped, “Grandson!” 

 Grinning, I was fully prepared to continue protesting my innocence, but leaning over his chair’s arm, Korix fished a flask from my pocket before tossing it to Talira. Catching it, she turned an incredulous stare on him. 

 “You knew about this and didn’t stop it?” she said. 

 Settling back in his chair, Korix crossed his arms. 

 “Should I have?” he said. “I saw no harm in it, given that my once evushk would never fall for such a prank. Unless she meant to, of course.” 

 Reddening, Talira made a choked noise, and I fought to keep my face blank, leaving laughter burbling in my head. Korix was having far too much fun with this. 

 “You… Both of you…” 

 Mother Time, I’d never seen Talira struck speechless before. It was a little frightening, actually. 

 “You did tell us to relax when we last saw you, my shukusen,” Korix continued, as if oblivious of her growing outrage. “So far as I can tell, this is one of the ways that Zaeden best does that.” 

 Talira clicked her teeth together. 

 Perhaps it was because I’d never expected violence in this room, typically a bastion of order, but I didn’t track what happened over the next five seconds, only that something was happening, and I responded to it. When I’d next sat down, Talira was on her feet, pointing her rifle toward where Korix had been lounging. One of his poor chair’s legs had been blasted into oblivion, toppling the whole of it. 

 Meanwhile, he looked down on the mess with a knife poised to throw in his hand. 

 “Was that necessary?” he said. 

 Shrugging, Talira had her rifle dissipate. 

 “I had to make sure Zaeden’s influence hasn’t dulled your training,” she said. “And you!” 

 When she turned on me, I dug my fingers into my chair. 

 “Why are you still there?” she snapped. “I’ve read the reports on your training. You’re better than this.” 

 Wordlessly, I lifted the flask that she’d dropped on her desk mere seconds ago. 

 “I knew you two wouldn’t kill each other,” I said. “No matter how much you deny it, too many things connect you for one to endanger the other. Not over something this trivial at least.” 

 Popping the flask open, I took a long swallow from it, watching Talira the whole time, before returning it to her. 

 Flopping into my seat once more, I said, “Can we please start this meeting, whatever it’s about? Phen wants my help at The Library soon.” 

 In the last week, my brother had become obsessed with the stronghold behind one of that place's archways, the one we theorized might have been a Founder's labs. Last night, he’d returned from it as I’d been leaving, babbling and jumping around like a rubber ball. In other words, manic as hell. 

 He’d insisted that I needed to go through that arch again—something about having me identify a vehicle in the hangar I'd briefly seen when I'd last been there—and after he’d promised to make the process as safe and comfortable as possible, I’d had no reason to refuse him. While I wasn’t looking forward to helping my brother with something I’d rather never do, I also didn’t want to have it hovering over me for longer than necessary. 

 So, if we could get this meeting over with, it would be helpful, but when I focused on them, Talira and Korix weren’t showing me the indignation that I’d expected. 

 After they exchanged a glance, he said, “You see?” 

 “I do,” she said. 

 Wait. See what? 

 Before I could ask what they’d meant, Talira sat, and Korix shook his head at the broken mess at his feet. 

 “What a waste of good furniture,” he said. 

 And now, he didn’t have a chair. Well, except- 

 “You can sit on my lap if you want,” I said, “or I can move.” 

 “Not necessary,” Korix said. 

 Gliding in front of me, he folded to the ground before leaning against my chair and oo… those black curls lying right there. My fingers twitched. 

 With an exasperated sigh, Korix reached behind himself to grab my wrist, firmly pressing my palm atop his head. 

 “I sat here for a reason,” he said. 

 I couldn’t help my happy hum as I tangled my fingers in his hair, and at that, he relaxed more fully against the chair. 

 “You two are sickeningly adorable,” Talira said. “Can you continue in this manner with the focus needed to absorb my news, or should I separate you?” 

 “We’ll be fine,” I said. “Tell us the bad news, shukusen.” 

 Slumping, Talira retrieved the flask that I’d dropped on her desk, getting the drink that she’d needed since arriving. 

 “This morning, all of the shukusenth, except for Alezand of course, finally convened to discuss House Cerullis. For this first talk, I left the Ancients and our missing weapons out, hoping to avoid a panic, but I’m beginning to think I shouldn’t have,” she sourly said. “Their responses were predictable, as usual. Whenever there’s a crisis—” 

 “—we’re expected to take care of it alone,” Korix finished. “It’s a reasonable policy most of the time. Kolb is in charge of keeping the peace, after all, but for something this big…” 

 “The Houses need to collaborate,” I hissed, “but no, that’s not how this damn House system works.” 

 They snapped their eyes to me with Korix tilting his head back for it, and I internally winced. Had I said that out loud? 

 “For once, I agree with you about this,” Korix said. “If Lutov is lost because the Houses refuse to work together, you’d probably laugh, wouldn’t you?” 

 I lightly slapped him. 

 “No. How could I laugh at so many lives lost?” I said. “Don’t even suggest it.” 

 But he just buried his face in my leg. 

 “What was I thinking? Of course you wouldn’t,” he said. “You aren’t capable of something so callous.” 

 Making a face, I massaged Korix’s scalp while holding my grandmother’s gaze. 

 “So, we can’t expect help from Drav or the others,” I said. “What are we going to do?” 

 “That’s what I’ve been contemplating, and frankly, I’m at a loss,” Talira said. “I’m hoping that the three of us together can birth an idea of some sort. Anything would do right now.” 

 She was coming up blank? The greatest Lokke Vitras that Lutov had seen in centuries, one of the few who’d survived the role long enough to replace her shukusen? How could we solve this when she couldn’t? 

 Apparently, this meeting was going to be a lot more frustrating and complicated than I'd anticipated.

Chapter 90: I Know What to Do
As if to echo my unease, Korix shifted in front of me, but we couldn’t let it overcome us. If we did nothing, the Ancients won. 

 “We could temporarily neutralize their threat. Remove all of Cerullis’ members who are under an Ancient’s sway,” I said. “I have someone in the House who could help us distinguish between them.”  

 “Enough to thoroughly cleanse the House?” Talira asked. “And what do we do with the people we ‘remove’? If we start killing them, the other Houses will move against us, and they have the numbers and tech needed to badly damage Kolb. 

 “It’d be the same if we imprisoned any Cerullis members too. Unless we put them in stasis, anyone with an Ancient in their head will have their brain fried, something that the others will blame on us. And you both know that if we explained a plan like this before executing it, the other shukusenth wouldn’t listen. We’d be stopped before we could make a move.” 

 Yeah, she was right, and those outcomes would be disastrous. 

 “How about quarantining the House, then?” I said. “We could tell the citizens that during their research, Cerullis has unleashed an alien disease, something that our arrays can’t purge from the body. That would explain any deaths that the Ancients cause, although I doubt they’d discard of useful tools so easily, and while news of a plague might cause a panic, we could handle it.” 

 But Talira was already shaking her head. 

 “It’s an excellent idea. It would also, without a doubt, cause a war between the Houses,” she said. “You don’t fully grasp the precarity of Lutov’s power balance. We may have been at peace for millennia, but many of the hostilities from before the homeland’s founding have carried over to the present, and the last few decades have seen us skating over violence on the thinnest of ice. Our ability to take our aggression out on Ibis has been our only saving grace. Tipping us into a war wouldn’t take much.” 

 Groaning, I rubbed my eyes before pinching my nose. And people wondered why I despised this system. 

 “Well, that’s two ideas from me,” I said. “If either of you feel like chipping in, it would be fantastic.” 

 They had nothing to say, though, and dropping my hands into my lap, I beamed my annoyance at them. I was the least experienced of us. I couldn’t be the only one with an idea. 

 As I glared at them, however, I noticed how much tension had taken hold of Korix. He was huddled on himself, or he’d done so as much as his rigid control would allow him to, and a frown tickled at his lips. 

 “We could capture Alezand, see if we can reason with him-” Talira started. 

 “I’ve been withholding something,” Korix said in a rush. 

 I paused in my comb of his hair while Talira stopped breathing, removing her hands from her desk. I had no doubt that she was brushing a weapon’s grip under there. 

 “Pray tell me what, my Lokke Vitras, have you thought acceptable to keep secret in these turbulent times?” she asked. 

 Similar questions were running through my head. Until now, I hadn’t realized how thoroughly my trust in him had been shaken. Yes, I was already dismissing the likelihood of another betrayal, but for a moment, a part of me had considered it possible. 

 Hugging himself, Korix found me above him. 

 “I’m your evushk,” he said. “I promise you, Zae. I’m not the man who hurt you.” 

 He watched me until I slowly nodded before lowering his head to Talira. 

 “The… thing in my head made some changes besides what you’ve already seen in my brain scan,” he said. “It’s not controlling me, but there’s a… link—the best word for it—between me and it. I can… hear? Feel? I don’t know how to describe the sensation, but that doesn’t matter. What does is that through this link, I know what my Ancient is planning and wanting. It can’t do much in its prison but its desires? Oo…” 

 Korix shuddered. 

 “The Ancients don’t have emotions, nor can they comprehend them, but I’d translate what it’s ‘feeling’ as a need to weaken Lutov and- and-” 

 A sharp gasp filled the silence, and after vigorously scrubbing his face, Korix turned to me, resting his hand on my knee. 

 “It wants me, its former puppet, or alternatively, you, the one who stole me, in its grasp so it can… hurt us, and I can only assume that same desire stretches to the other Ancients as well. Not much differentiation exists in their species.” 

 A roar filled my ear, and from a distance, I watched myself lay my hand atop his. I’d attracted their attention. Not only that but I’d become one of their worst enemies, someone they’d focus on until this was over. 

 I saw why Korix had kept this to himself. Sure, he probably hadn’t wanted to distress me, but he also must have known the conclusions that I’d draw from what he’d shared, the only useful ones to be gained from this information, and meeting his eyes…  

 Yes. In them, I saw the knowledge of what I’d do. I also saw his plea for me to refrain from it, felt it when he squeezed my knee. 

 “Well, then. This would have been nice to know when you woke up from stasis,” Talira said. “I’m assuming this ‘link’ only works one way. Otherwise, you’d never have endangered Lutov by attending our planning sessions.” 

 “Of course it’s one way, my shukusen. My primary purpose is and always will be to keep the homeland safe,” Korix told her. 

 But to me, he said, Please. Don’t do this. 

 The muffling roar in my ears dropped to silence with my decision made, and I brushed my thumb along Korix’s hand. 

 “Maybe we can use this,” Talira said. “If we release the Ancient that we’re holding captive, perhaps we can-” 

 Breaking Korix’s hold on me, I shot to my feet before striding for the door. 

 “What do you think you’re doing?” Talira snapped behind me. “We’re not done here.” 

 “I’m doing my job,” I said. “You and Korix can figure out what to do without me, right?” 

 “Probably not as quickly, but yes,” Talira said. “Zae-zae, what are you planning?” 

 In front of me, the door slid open, but I stopped, glancing over my shoulder. 

 “Don’t give me that, grandmother. You know exactly what I’m planning,” I said with a sigh. “Korix says that the Ancients want him or me, and removing either of us would also weaken Lutov, meeting their second desire. Therefore, one of us can delay them, holding their attention for a short time, and we’ll sorely need that time, shukusen . Between me and my evushk, my absence will cause the least damage, given my lack of experience, and when weighing that damage against the gain that we might achieve here, it’s pretty clear which of those wins out.” 

 With her face red and her eyes wet, Talira slammed her palms on her desk. I wasn’t sure when she’d risen to her feet. 

 “So, you’re going to what?” she shouted. “Walk into Cerullis’ headquarters and surrender yourself to them? Let the Ancients…” 

 Something strangled her voice, and I looked to Korix for help, but he wouldn’t meet my gaze, holding his arms tight around his chest. 

 “Isn't this what the Lokke Vitras is called to do?” I asked. “The first part of our mantra even demands it. Sacrifice self. I know I’m not the Lokke Vitras yet-” 

 “You might as well be,” Korix said. 

 Shooting a glare at him, I said, “This is the right thing to do, our best option right now.” 

 “NO!” 

 Jumping, I jerked toward Talira and snapped my eyes wide open on seeing tears rolling over her cheeks. 

 “You will not be a self-sacrificing moron. I read enough of those stories in my daily reports,” she said. “I order you to be more selfish. Go home, and stay there. Your evushk and I will work this problem while you… think about what you’re suggesting.” 

 Internally sighing, I bowed to her. 

 “Yes, shukusen,” I said. 

 Even as I rose to my full height, though, Korix was shaking his head. 

 “That won’t stop him. He’s unHoused. You’re not his shukusen , and so, your orders mean nothing to him,” he said. “Even if he were House Kolb, I’m not sure they’d mean much.” 

 Clicking my tongue, I crossed my arms, tapping a finger on an elbow. 

 “Damnit, evushk.” 

 Ignoring me, Korix said, “You need to tell him, Talira.” 

 …Tell me what? 

 Swallowing hard, Talira hung her head, splaying her fingers on her desk. 

 After a long, tense silence, she said, “How long has it been since your House naming ceremony?” 

 “Since I started my training, you mean?” I said. “Eleven years, nine months, sixteen days, and… I wasn’t supposed to go that far, was I?” 

 I’d guess the answer was no, based on the looks I was getting. 

 Slowly shaking her head, Talira said, “Almost twelve years, and look at you.” 

 I obliged, glancing down at my body. 

 “Yes?” I said. 

 Squeezing her eyes closed, Talira took a deep breath before dropping into her chair and hiding her face. 

 “For the last nine years, I’ve dreaded getting your evushk’s reports on you,” she said. “With everything I know about you, I knew that you’d learn quickly. Your logic and intelligence scores along with your years of practice before you were chosen would allow nothing less, but I was wrong. You’ve advanced through your training at lightspeed, Zae-zae. If we weren’t in the middle of a crisis, I’d give your evushk the release he so desperately needs, elevating you, because you’re ready to assume the mantle. After only twelve years. 

 “Before you came along, do you know what the record was for the fastest of us to go through our training? Twenty-six years and we don’t talk about that Lokke Vitras much. Yes, she burned brightly, but her flame quickly died as well. 

 “Fourteen years separate the training that you’ve needed from what she did. Fourteen!” 

 Choking off, Talira dragged her fingers through her hair as she met my eyes. 

 “I’m afraid for you, grandson, just as much as you terrify me,” she whispered. 

 Korix’s words on my birthday had returned to haunt me, but this was worse. This was an assertion with facts to back it up. This was my grandmother speaking it, and I was stuck between breaths. If I moved even a fraction, I was afraid I’d further jump out of the mold that I’d made for myself. Sure, I liked people watching me, but I wanted to remain anonymous to them, someone to be admired and quickly forgotten. I didn’t want a reputation like this following me. 

 Besides, what did it have to do with my plan? 

 “What she’s saying is that you have something that’s worth as much as experience: potential,” Korix said. “Losing the Lokke Vitra s that you could become would be devastating for Lutov. It would be just as bad as Talira’s loss or mine or the premature death of any Lokke Vitras who’s come before us, if they were here. Just as bad as the loss of any Lutovish to our enemy.” 

 “As devastating as them destroying the homeland?” I shot back. 

 Korix looked down his nose at me. 

 “All we want is a little more time before you throw your life away,” Talira said. “Give us until sundown tomorrow. If you evushk and I don’t come up with something by then, we can discuss your plan again.” 

 Discuss, meaning they’d try to argue me out of it once more. Still, what was the harm in waiting for a little while? House Cerullis and the Ancients hadn’t made a peep in three weeks. Not only that but we'd found most of the lost weapons, identified in a recent inventory. Given those two facts, what were a couple more days delay? 

 “Fine,” I said, heading back to my chair. 

 Talira shot her hand up. 

 “No. You won’t do any good in this discussion, not after you’ve already decided on a course of action,” she said. “You’ll go to your parents’ apartment, and if I hear that you’ve set foot outside of it before tomorrow evening, I will make your life hell, even if I’m not your shukusen. 

 “Maybe you can take the time to speak with your parents. I’d love to have a few days where I don’t get a frantic message from Ximon about you.” 

 Yes… I should do that, especially if we ended up going with my plan. That would be fun. Then again, maybe I could get out of it. 

 “I’m supposed to help Phen-” 

 “Your brother can spend a day doing research without you,” Talira said. “Go home, or I’ll sedate you and take you there myself.” 

 I supposed I didn’t have a choice, then. 

 Once again, I bowed. 

 “Yes, shukusen,” I said. 

 I'd almost made it over the threshold before Talira continued speaking behind me. 

 “You go with him, my Lokke Vitras. We can continue our discussion via messages, and I don’t trust Zaeden to do as he’s told. He’ll run off at the first chance he gets.” 

 My foot, halfway through a step, heavily thudded to the ground, and I winced. She was right. Once I got bored, I probably would leave. 

 Shaking my head, I started toward a lift. 

 “I’ll watch him, my shukusen,” Korix said. 

 So, he’d watch me for signs of escape while I’d monitor him for signs of betrayal. It would be like the first year of my training all over again, that time when both of us had expected an attack from the other person. 

 “Good. Now, get out of here!” Talira said. “I have things to do.” 

 In my mind’s eye, I could see her flapping a hand at Korix, and when he caught up with me, I glanced at him from the corner of my eye. Was he afraid of me like Talira was? I didn’t know what to think of everything else she’d claimed, but if it meant that the man I loved was afraid of me… 

 Korix twirled between me and the lift, clasping my shoulders with the most serious of expressions in place. 

 “You were right,” was all he said. 

 Raising an eyebrow, I said, “Yes, that’s how it usually goes. What am I right about this time?” 

 A… holy shit, was that a…? A mischievous smirk climbed onto Korix’s face. 

 “Defying my once evushk felt good,” he said. 

 With a quick kiss, he released me, resting a finger on my nose. 

 “Don’t ever think about doing the same thing to me.” 

 He took a step into the lift, and once he’d disappeared through the ceiling, I could only blink at it with my lips parted, but soon enough, laughter nearly bowled me over. I clung to the wall, half-aware of Talira’s annoyed shout leaking through her office’s closed door. Every day that Korix stepped further out of his enforced shell was one full of lovely surprises for me. 

 Hell, I hoped someone crafted a better solution to our crisis than mine. I’d hate to leave someone so wonderful behind.

Chapter 91: Setting Boundaries
When we reached the apartment, Ace barreled through its door to me, but like the good boy he was, he didn’t indulge in his obvious desire to jump on me. Instead, he wove back and forth, excitedly hopping, until I acknowledged his existence, but once I had, he switched his attention to Korix. 

 It was good to see him adapting to new circumstances. For a little over eleven years, he’d had the same routine, and I hadn’t been sure how he’d react to a disruption of it. 

 Leski followed in Ace’s wake, grabbing my head to kiss me. Wrapping my arms around her, I squeezed them while dumping my accumulated tension. Damn, but coming home to this had been nice over these last few days. 

 As usual, when we broke apart, Korix was awkwardly standing beside us, lifting his eyes over our heads. I’d asked him about that, wondering if he was comfortable with me kissing Leski when we were around him, but he'd insisted that the strain I was observing in him wasn’t a reaction to our affectionate displays. He’d just gone for so long believing that attachments like ours were anathema to who he was that he instinctively rejected them. At first. A tiny part of me screamed doubt of this claim, unsure whether I was treating my partners as they deserved, but I believed him, if only for one reason. 

 Momentarily finished with me, Leski leapt at Korix, hugging him. As he did whenever I attacked him like that, Korix froze up, but Leski kept squeezing him until he relaxed, returning her embrace just as fiercely. 

 I wasn’t sure what was going on with those two. Definite fondness lay there now, but I didn’t know if they were attracted to one another or if I was all that linked them. 

 Not that it was any of my business. Those two could figure out their relationship on their own, thanks very much. 

 “Leski, have you seen my parents?” I asked. 

 “They’re in their room,” she said into Korix’s chest. “Why? 

 Breaking free, she eyed me, and I shrugged. 

 “I need to talk to them,” I said. 

 They exchanged a knowing glance, which… hmm. I didn’t know what to think of that. It implied a collusion of sorts, and having my partners working together for my perceived benefit didn’t sound fun. 

 Also. When had I started thinking of Leski as a partner instead of someone I was dating? 

 “Where can I find you once I’m done?” I asked. “Ko, I assume you’ll need somewhere for your work?” 

 “That would be best,” he said. “I was planning on using the apartment’s sitting room unless someone needs it.” 

 “I doubt anyone will. Feena won’t be back until mid-day, and depending on how our conversation goes, my parents… they won’t disturb you,” I said. “Leski?” 

 Cocking her head at Korix, she said, “Unless it will bother you, I’d like to be in the same room as you, but I should warn you. I need to practice. I haven’t touched my violin in almost a week.” 

 With his hands behind his back, Korix faintly smiled. 

 “I wouldn’t mind,” he said. “I’ve been looking forward to hearing you play. Zae says you’re quite good.” 

 Blushing, Leski hid behind her hair. 

 “Then, I guess I’ll perform for you today,” she said. 

 “Excellent!” I said, glancing toward the apartment’s door. “Excellent.” 

 Mother Time, I didn’t want to do this. Still. It must be done. 

 So, I absently said, “I’ll see you soon.” 

 And I headed out of the hangar. Behind me, Leski and Korix said something in farewell. 

 I didn’t hear it. Forcing one foot in front of the other, I made it into the apartment, although its familiar halls felt like corridors in an enemy’s home today. Knowing that Korix was watching me through the place’s recorders helped. I wasn’t sure when his habit of monitoring had become a source of comfort for me. 

 When I reached my parents’ room, I didn’t override its lock or storm inside. Who knew what they were doing in there? While stumbling onto their more intimate moments had never bothered me, I knew it embarrassed them, and we didn’t need extra stressors today. Plus, you know, invasion of privacy. 

 So, instead, I sent them a message, letting them know I was here. I didn’t have to wait long before the door slid open with dad hanging from its frame, panting and disheveled. 

 “Zaeden,” he gasped. 

 What was I supposed to say? Did I start with hostility, as I so badly wanted to? Did I fall into formality to shield myself? 

 No. Let’s make this easy for everyone. 

 Prodding a sloppy smile onto my lips, I chirped, “Hey, dad! We should talk.” 

 Frowning, dad said, “Of… course. Let me move your mother along, and we can go…” 

 He seemed at a loss as to how he could finish that sentence, so I stepped in. 

 “How about we use the garden?” I said. “It’s open with several escape routes available, which should make everyone comfortable. I think.” 

 “That’s… not a bad idea,” dad said, “considering-” 

 Again, I saw fear flicker in a parent, and I sucked air through my teeth, dropping my smile while my hands folded into fists at my side. 

 “I won’t hurt you or mom or anyone else in this family,” I hissed. “What will it take for you to believe that? Why would the thought have crossed your mind in the first place? Hell, you’re the ones who decided to associate with me again, baffling as I find it. Why would you do that if you’re still so afraid of me?” 

 Damn, why was he making this harder than it needed to be? I was already tempted to abandon this conversation and leave things as they were between us. I didn’t need anything else to shove me away. 

 “I- You’re right,” dad said. 

 Pushing off of the doorframe, he lifted his hands in appeasement. 

 “I’m sorry.” 

 I had so many things that I wanted to say. Things like ‘You’re apologizing a lot these days’ or ‘Why should I care?’ Instead, I consciously loosened each muscle, and while I smiled, I wasn’t sure if it was as carefree as it had been before. 

 “I know,” I said. “I’ll meet you in the garden.” 

 I hardly registered my walk there, not with my mind in a haze and everything going cold. The cheery Zaeden that my parents knew might be the part that I chose to play with them, but it would be a persona and nothing more. Inside, I’d stay numb because I couldn’t let them hurt me again and… 

 I wouldn’t let them see me break down. I. would. not. 

 Honestly, it felt strange to be in this position in the first place. I’d seen a lot of children hurt by their parents, and rarely had the parents apologized for what they’d done. Then again, most people didn’t want to admit to their faults… 

 It was just strange. I’d never thought to receive an apology from them, not for this or anything else they’d done. It was surprising how much something that should have felt nice could instead feel so terrible. 

 When they arrived, I was examining mom’s rose bed. She’d always had an affinity for plants, but roses were, by far, her favorite flower to work with. 

 I liked them because of their thorns, always had. With them, I could use a broken bit of stem to prick my thumb while hiding it in my pocket. Those sharp stabs had always helped me manage stressful situations when I’d been younger. Right now, they were keeping me from exploding into an angry mess. 

 Without a word, we took a seat around an unlit fire pit, and I was faced with a quandary. In this situation, what would the Zaeden they knew do? 

 “So,” I said. “Five years.” 

 Wincing, dad shifted in place while mom sat stock still. 

 Cracking a weak smile, I asked, “What have you been up to? Go on any interesting missions?” 

 Mom squeezed her eyes closed. 

 “We shouldn’t get distracted right now,” she said. 

 Ok, then. If they wanted to get straight to the point, I could oblige. 

 “You rejected me. For years,” I said. “I’m a little unclear what you expect from me after that.” 

 I refused to see their flinches or the tears that sprang to life in mom’s eyes. At times, the Zaeden they’d known could be as cold as I was right now. 

 “We don’t expect anything,” dad said, “but whatever you’re willing to give, we’ll be happy to accept. And if that’s nothing…” 

 “Then, we’ll survive. It would be what we deserve, after all,” mom finished for him. 

 Would it, though? Would it really? For something like this, I didn’t think so and… and… 

 Why were they being so remorseful right now? It was contradictory to everything I’d ever learned about human behavior. 

 Maybe they thought I’d eventually become spiteful toward them, and considering what I’d one day become, they’d decided to try currying favor now, when I might still forgive them. Maybe they thought they could use a powerful connection in the future, although with Talira in the question, I didn’t see why they’d want something like that from me. 

 And why apologize for this, out of everything…? 

 I shook my head, trying to focus my whirling thoughts. Perhaps it was best if I didn’t start with what I was willing to give them, considering how that might end. Perhaps it was best to dig straight to the heart of our problem. 

 “I understand what you did. When you made the decision to distance yourselves from me, it might even have been the right call,” I said. “You didn’t know how I’d play the role of the Lokke Vitras or how thoroughly I’d refuse to surrender my loved ones, and after you saw how little this role has changed me, you reached out, no matter how late that might have come. 

 “I can’t, however, forget what’s happened. What you did will ever hang between us, and because of that, these relationships that we hold have been irrevocably changed. I don’t know if I’ll ever love you in the same way.” 

 Shrinking on herself, mom reached out for dad, and he clutched her like she was the only thing keeping him afloat. I watched this, and my anger feasted on a scene of pain, so much less than what I’d endured. I let these furious emotions fill me until they overflowed, almost choking on them. 

 Instead, I breathed them out. 

 “But I do love you. You’re my parents, for Mother Time’s sake,” I said. “I choose to love you. I choose to forgive you because what good will holding onto hate do me? I don’t want to be whiplashed by pain every time I think about you. 

 “This, however, doesn’t mean that things are immediately better between us. I probably won’t visit either of you for a long while yet. I will invite you to significant events in my life because I won’t deny you that, and you may always ask to see me, but I reserve the right to refuse. If you want to stay in my life, those are my terms.” 

 Falling silent, I ground my knuckles into my hand’s carpal bones, refusing to show any other sign of what was blazing through me. Since arriving here, how many times had I talked through these conditions with Leski? Not once had I gone to Korix because he couldn’t relate but Leski? She had Niklaus for a father. 

 Talira had been holding that man in one of House Kolb's temporary apartments at headquarters. Over the last three weeks, she'd been forcing him to divest of every Favor he held from other people, slowly lessening his grip on the power he'd once had. She'd told me that soon, he'd only wield the typical amount that a Second Stratus like him could have, and I was glad for that. 

 We might have negated the damage he'd done by giving Cerullis weapons — while we hadn't located all those missing, we'd found the ones he'd supplied at least — but I wanted to cut off any other sources of influence that he might have now. Hopefully, it would both lessen any work he might cause me in the future and keep him from intimidating Leski into doing anything she'd rather not. 

 I wrenched my thoughts away from Niklaus when my mother opened her mouth to speak. 

 “We accept,” she said. “Of course we accept.” 

 Mother Time, their eyes were bright. The sight turned my stomach, and I had to remind myself that I’d chosen forgiveness, not hatred. I knew my feelings toward my parents wouldn’t fade overnight, but when looking at my options for resolving this conflict, I’d picked the one that would cause the least damage to everyone involved. I’d abide by my decision. 

 Even if I still didn’t fully understand why something this improbable had happened in the first place. 

 “I’m glad to hear it,” I said before slapping my knees. “Now, would you stop cowering around me while I’m here? This is your home, after all.” 

 “We’ll do our best,” dad said. 

 “May-?” 

 Stopping, mom licked her lips. 

 “May we hug you, Zae?” 

 And the air I breathed was ice. 

 Standing, I said, “It’s Zaeden. But yes, you may.” 

 They descended on me as if long-starved of my presence, which they had been in a way, and I just… stood there. I couldn’t return their embraces, but I did let them pull me close and rub my back or hair. Quickly enough, however, I cleared my throat, and they backed off. 

 “I have things to do,” I said. 

 What a big, fat fucking lie. Mom smiled like she saw through my bullshit. 

 “Thank you for speaking with us,” she said. 

 “You’re… welcome,” I said with the words pulled from me like teeth out of a jaw bone. 

 I had nothing else to give them.

Chapter 92: Waiting
As soon as I was out of sight, I took off at House Kolb speed toward the apartment’s sitting room. When I entered it, I hardly slowed down, launching myself at the sectional sofa where Korix was sitting. While he grunted at my body’s impact with him, the sweet sound of a violin fell silent, and hurried footsteps pounded toward me. Leski landed beside us, right as Ace dropped his front paws beside my ankles, and pulling himself away from me, Korix jostled my dog off of the couch. He rolled so that I was sandwiched between him and Leski, and there I lay, curled in a ball. 

 I didn’t cry into Korix’s chest, no matter how much I might want to. I just took shuddering gasps until the tide receded, and once it had, I sat up. 

 “I didn’t mean to interrupt what you were doing,” I said. “Please, pretend like I’m not here.” 

 Again, my partners exchanged a glance, one I wasn’t sure I liked, and without wavering in that gaze, Korix took hold of my shirt, tugging me to the side. I landed at an awkward angle with my head on his chest. While he smoothed my hair down, Leski got between me and the back of the couch, and once I'd rolled over, she rested her chin on my arm, staring at me like Ace was doing at our side. 

 We stayed here for a while, moving every so often but resting within the comfort of one another’s arms. The entire time, Ace got spoiled by near-constant petting—unavoidable with my arm draped over the sofa’s cushions—and every so often, he licked my fingers, as if aware of my turmoiled state. 

 Eventually, Korix sat upright, absently caressing the air, and I shoved Leski off of the sofa. Making a face at me, she returned to her violin practice. With my head in Korix’s lap, my dog on the ground beside me, and Leski’s music singing in the air, I found my center with my stability returning. 

 Feena ruined it. 

 Racing into the sitting room, she shouted, “Have you seen this?” 

 The room’s holodrama plate lit up, displaying a woman wearing a grave expression. As she spoke behind a flashing ribbon of text, I got the chance to read ‘Azuwell Plains’ before the image switched to a simple building, half of which was resting on solid ground while the other half jutted out over a cliff face. Below this, the sea pounded against rock, and behind it, the distinctive, blue grid of a galnuka glowed. 

 “Is that-?” I started. 

 “House Zan’s research station near the Tainted Land’s demarcation line, yes,” Korix said. 

 The one the lower Strata had identified as the workplace of Niklaus' rival. 

 At that and the tone of Korix's voice, I stopped breathing. It was the tone that he took in the moments before an unexpected catastrophe occurred. Occasionally, his centuries spent playing the role of the Lokke Vitras gave him a sort of precognition of such things. 

 True to that, the barrier around the research station flickered before its distinctive sheen died. This alone wasn’t disastrous. Despite the station’s precarious perch, it had enough support to keep its mass aloft, even without a barrier in place. When several explosions brightened the line where the building met the cliff’s stone, however… 

 Slowly, the building started crumbling, and I watched with a crushed throat and burning eyes as half of it fell into the waves, dragging a good portion of the other half with it. Oh… Mother Time… This couldn’t be happening. I couldn’t- couldn’t- 

 “How… many…?” I asked. 

 I’d already requested the list of the station’s personnel by the time Korix answered. 

 “Two hundred and forty-six,” he said, “although some of them will have survived.” 

 Hell, he’d sounded empty. 

 “Two hundred…?” Leski squeaked. 

 All of us turned to her, this woman who still believed that everyone had an unalienable right to choose when they died. She absorbed the bleed-over of our horror, spilling it back to us from her eyes. Tears drizzled from them, but within a second, shock’s glaze had taken up residence there. I wondered how much of that numbness I was showing right now. 

 “We could have saved them,” I said. “If we'd joined the lower Strata in their search... If we'd persisted in looking for the missing explosions... If I’d done as I wanted this morning, they’d be alive.” 

 “Zae…” Korix said. 

 Whirling on him, I lifted a finger in his face. 

 “Don’t you ‘Zae’ me,” I snapped. “You and Talira shouldn’t have let sentiment or concern for our physical wellbeing keep you from doing what needed to be done. You should have acted like the Lokke Vitras. You should have let. me. do. my. job.” 

 I slammed the heel of my palm into his chest so hard that he rocked in place. 

 “Now, people are dead. Innocent people, Korix!” 

 Knocking my hand aside, Korix took hold of my arms, shaking me. 

 “You’re not letting yourself get trapped in a broken body,” he growled. “You haven’t experienced what they can do. I have. I won’t let you willingly take on that pain.” 

 The only other time he’d been this angry with me was after the Crescent Incident, and if I weren’t seeing red myself, I might find this concerning. As it was… 

 “You won’t let me?” I hissed. “What makes you think that you can stop me?” 

 As his face darkened, Korix took a breath, but before he could shout at me, someone stepped between us. Tear tracks glinted at Korix and me as brown eyes shot daggers at us. Leski. 

 “Hundreds of people have died, and this is how you respond?” she said. “By fighting with each other?” 

 She couldn’t know, didn’t feel the weight of so many sparks of souls, hadn’t increased a number in her array by another two hundred and forty-six. Mother Time, I’d killed a lot of people but never… never so many at once. 

 “I’m more curious why the two men who currently hold the words ‘Lokke Vitras’ in their titles are yelling at each other rather than plotting our next steps.” 

 Snapping my head up, I found Feena behind Korix, looking down her nose at me. Shit. She was right. And so was Leski. 

 Taking a deep breath, I stepped back. 

 “I’m sorry, Ko,” I said. 

 Hesitantly, he nodded, obviously wanting to reply in kind, but expressing regret had become foreign to him after centuries of being denied it. Shaking her head, Feena took a seat in an armchair while Leski faced me, displaying the fiercest look that I’d seen on her in a while. 

 “Letting yourself get trapped in a broken body?” she asked. 

 “That doesn’t matter at the moment,” I said. 

 A snarl pulsed in the air between us as she opened her mouth with a sneer. 

 “Leski!” I snapped. “I’m sorry, but I can’t soothe your fears right now. I don’t want that to happen again.” 

 I pointed at a holodrama plate, where a building was once more tumbling into the sea, and when she reluctantly stepped to the side, Korix and I faced the picture. 

 “This horror has to be them,” I said, “but it can’t be the cascade. That’s planned to begin in Xygek, and our disaster lies as far from the capital as you can get. So, what is it? Niklaus' revenge on his rival? A test run? And if it is that last one-?” 

 Korix interrupted before I could continue. 

 “It’s more likely an attempt to draw out our emergency responders,” he said, “and it’s working.” 

 He nodded to an image of a transport convoy that was speeding over the Preserve, presumably on its way to a demolished research station. 

 “We still have time,” he said. “They’ll want to ensure that our first responders are thoroughly ensnared with this mess before making another one.” 

 “Which gives us what? A few hours?” I said. “I should go to House Cerullis’ headquarters now and get those bastards thoroughly entangled with me.” 

 “That might stop the Ancients for a time, but what about House Cerullis?” Korix said. “Those explosions came from the weapons that were once stored in their Southern Fells facility, the last ones unaccounted for. Given their plans, Cerullis has to have more left as well, and without a barrier to protect a building, the House’s members can do whatever they want to it, as you well know. They could release poison gas in vent systems. Shoot rocket into exposed walls. Who knows what else?” 

 Sighing, I rubbed my forehead. 

 “I have options for handling Cerullis. Once I have the Ancients’ attention, I could get Jayla to start her House coup,” I said. “Or I could bargain with them to delay their plan. Without permission, they can only take over someone through emotional vulnerability, right? In exchange for getting House Cerullis to stand down, even if just for a day, I could offer my consent when it comes to taking me over, keeping them from fighting for control of me. You and Talira could get a lot done in a day. Now that we have a better idea of what the cascade will entail, you can prepare. Get ready for the fallout.” 

 “What makes you think they’d take a deal like that?” Korix snapped, interrupting me. 

 “They’d have a hard time getting into my head. I’m pretty healthy when it comes to emotions,” I said. “I could make it easy for them.” 

 Turning to me, Korix raised an eyebrow. 

 “Your parents?” 

 Why was he bringing them up? 

 “Sure, that hurt,” I huffed, “but I had a normal emotional response to what they did, and I dealt with it so it wouldn’t become an issue.” 

 Korix crossed his arms. 

 “Zae,” he softly said, “you see the faces of the people you’ve killed on average citizens.” 

 Wincing, I said, “Ok, I’ll give you that. I still think they’d rather delay their plan than fight for me, especially since postponing the cascade won’t upset it. Those emergency responders won’t be leaving the site of our current disaster anytime soon. Besides, I have yet to hear you or Talira offer an alternative plan.” 

 “We’re working on something,” Korix said. “Just-” 

 He ground his knuckles into his eyes. 

 “Will you at least wait until sundown? The emergency responders won’t reach the disaster zone until then, so nothing else is likely to happen before then. Please, Zae.” 

 I chewed on my lip, considering him. 

 “You and shukusen Talira are really working on something?” I asked. 

 “Yes.” 

 “Then, you have until sundown,” I said. 

 With the discussion complete, we turned to resume what we’d been doing before Feena had interrupted us, only to be confronted by her amused smile and Leski’s anxious glare. 

 “What?” I said. 

 “Are you two always like that when planning a mission?” Feena asked, sweeping her finger over us. 

 Frowning, I said, “No. Usually, he tells me what to do, and I do it.” 

 “That’s not what I meant. I-” 

 Feena clicked her tongue, seemingly searching for the words she needed. 

 “While you were speaking, you cycled through the three known tongues, sub-vocals, and some kind of signing code that I’ve never seen before,” Leski said. 

 My sister beamed gratitude for the help at Leski, which she barely caught. She was still trapped by worry. 

 “We… did?” I asked. 

 When they solemnly nodded at me, I glanced at Korix. 

 “Did you know we were doing that?” I asked. 

 “Yes. Keeping up with your switches can be exhausting at times, especially in recent years,” Korix said. “You didn’t know you were doing that?” 

 “I… No.” 

 How had I not noticed? 

 “I only caught about half of what you said,” Leski said. “Mind explaining to the audience?” 

 Yes, I very much did mind. Still, I’d answer her, but first. 

 Taking Korix’s hand, I guided him toward the sofa once more. 

 “The summary? I have a plan for this mess that Ko and my grandmother don’t like,” I said. “I agreed to wait until later tonight before carrying it out.” 

 Hauling Korix in front of me, I had him sit before climbing onto his lap. 

 “And what’s your plan?” Feena asked. 

 “Not something you should worry about. It probably won’t happen.” 

 Liar. I was such a liar. 

 “You might want to leave the room, Feena,” I said. “I plan to keep all three of us busy for a while.” 

 She groaned, but I didn’t hear much else. I pressed my lying lips to Korix’s before resting my forehead on his. 

 “I truly am sorry that I yelled at you,” I said. 

 “I know,” Korix said before smirking. “Zae, regret has no place-” 

 “Finish that sentence,” I growled. “I dare you.” 

 Shoving her head beneath my arm, Leski got between us, oscillating on who to look at before landing on me. 

 “Will you be ok?” she asked. 

 Brushing a strand of hair out of her face, I cupped her cheek. 

 “Whatever happens, everything will turn out fine eventually,” I said. “So, don’t waste your energy on worrying.” 

 Korix narrowed his eyes at me, but I ignored him, kissing Leski. 

 If we did end up using my plan and I surrendered to the Ancients... well. I didn't want to leave things, whether how I felt about them or any regrets I might have, unspoken between me and my partners. I also didn't want to think about that or my failure to save so many people who should have been under my protection. 

 “And so, my wonderful partners, we have several hours until sundown,” I said. “How shall we spend them?” 

 Seemingly abandoning his suspicion of what I’d just said, Korix fiercely grinned at me. 

 “With you,” he said. 

 Leski just jumped me.

Chapter 93: Hope Given and Taken
I was busy with Korix and Leski when a message flashed into my array. Given the circumstances, I almost ignored it, but since it had arrived at the highest priority, I left off with what I’d been doing so I could scan its contents. 

 You know the vehicle I wanted you to look at today? it read.  Since you're so busy, I started without you, and w hile I was examining it, I found something, Zae. Something that can kill an Ancient! Meet me at The Library as soon as you can. 

 Pheniks. 

 Jerking upright, I sat stock-still while Leski made unhappy noises on the floor, and as I read the message once more, something that I was afraid to name planted a seed in me. 

 A way to kill the Ancients. A way to fight back. I might see next year after all. 

 “What is it?” Korix asked. 

 Glancing at him, I had a hard time with answering his question. If I acknowledged this new feeling inside, how badly could it hurt me on the off chance that something went wrong? In the end, I forced the words out anyway. 

 “Phen found something,” I said. 

 On the tail end of that, Feena burst into the room with a hand over her eyes. 

 “We need to go!” she shouted. 

 “Yeah, I know. I read it too,” I said. “Give me a minute. Where are my-?” 

 Clothes landed in my lap, courtesy of a smirking Korix, and I stuck my tongue out at him. Now that I’d acknowledged hope, I couldn’t spend any more time on reveling in it. I had to push all emotion aside, venturing into the shallow end of mission mode, so I could more quickly reach the conclusion of this new possibility. 

 “What did your brother find?” Korix asked me. 

 “He says-” 

 I paused to shove my arm through a sleeve. 

 “He says it’s something that’ll kill Ancients,” I said. 

 Korix had been on his feet before I’d finished speaking. 

 “Zae,” he said, “that could change-” 

 “Everything, I know,” I said. “We need to see him now.” 

 Grumbling under her breath, Leski scrambled on all fours to gather her clothes. Thank all that might be holy, she seemed to see the urgency of our situation as well. 

 “I suppose that’s a good reason to leave me frustrated,” she sourly said. 

 With a grimace, I said, “Sorry. I’ll make it up to- What are you doing?” 

 Somehow already clothed, Leski strode to my sister while looking over her shoulder. 

 “Going with you, of course,” she said. “Feena, dear, we’re decent.” 

 “Thank Mother Time for that,” Feena said, lowering her hand. “I already have the drones prepping a skycruiser, so we can leave as soon as you’re ready.” 

 Clicking my tongue, I tried not to sputter. 

 “Wait a minute!” I said. “Leski, you can’t-” 

 With a snarl fixed in place, she hissed, “If you tell me to be a good, little hostage and wait for you to return, I will do my damnedest to break through your array’s security processes so I can mess with it. I’m coming with you.” 

 Remembering her work in the Cerullis facility—something that I’d thought was impossible—I swallowed. Hell. She’d probably breeze through my processes like they were nothing. 

 “Ok,” I said. 

 Perhaps if I limited the importance of where we were going, that would make Leski less suspicious of it. I had yet to tell her about The Library, and I’d rather not break that pattern unless I must, uncertain as I was about what the shukusenth would do if she learned that secret. 

 Unlike with her, I didn’t question Korix’s presence at my side. Not only did he, as House Kolb’s First Stratus, already know everything about The Library, but Talira had tasked him with watching me. He wouldn’t let me run across the city without him. 

 “If we’re quite finished?” Feena said. 

 With nothing else, she joined Leski in leading the way to the hangar while Korix and I trailed behind them. 

 “Are you sure about bringing her?” he quietly asked. “If any of the shukusenth decide she’s too untrustworthy, they may have you erase her memory of visiting The Library or worst case, kill her.” 

 He’d echoed my worries to a T, but of course he had. The only reason I had them was because of his training. 

 “I’ll deal with that if it becomes an issue,” I said. “Let’s focus on one problem at a time, yes?” 

 “So long as you’re aware.” 

 After we'd reached a skycruiser, the trip to Rane’s bar passed in tense silence, and when we arrived, the mood in the bar shifted. This place’s regulars had come to expect my visits here, but this time, I had the Lokke Vitras following me, and that was an anomaly. As we strode to the back, all motion in the bar ceased while calculating eyes watched us, and I inwardly cringed at the impression I must have made on so many Kolb members. They would talk about this. 

 Despite the attention being paid to us, I brushed a table near the back when we passed it, a ritual that I’d developed over the last few weeks. If Pheniks was right, maybe I could get vengeance for Fyester. I was hesitant to call killing the Ancients justice but vengeance? That might be nice to have. 

 Rane’s absence from the bar was slightly out of the norm. Over the last few weeks, she’d often expressed how much she disliked The Library’s beacon, meaning she usually spent most of her time out front, but at some point, she had to restock or otherwise handle the management side of the bar. Given that, she was probably in her office. 

 Since Korix, Feena, and I knew where we were going, our steps were sure and quick, but Leski took her time, going wide-eyes when we passed through the holographic wall. After a bolted door opened with a thunk, she gasped while her eyes shone with glee. How I missed the time when mundane things like this had seemed wondrous to me. 

 As we crowded into the chamber beyond, I frowned at a lump, lying on the floor, but when I recognized it as Rane, sprawled against a wall, I rushed forward. She’d been in here? She hated this room. What had happened? Was this a simple case of fatigue catching up with an overworked woman or…? 

 Shaking my head to calm my thoughts, I pressed my fingers to Rane’s neck, ignoring my companions’ shadows on the wall above us. Within a breath, her artery pulsed against my finger, and I released a held breath. 

 “She’s alive,” I said. “What do you think happened?” 

 When I turned to them, Korix already had a Puppeteer lifted into view while Leski and Feena were staring at it with revulsion. 

 “I’ll scan her array and figure it out,” he said. “You go. If this is Cerullis or the Ancients…” 

 Then, I didn’t have much time. 

 Nodding, I said, “Leski, you stay with him.” 

 I wasn’t taking her anywhere near something so potentially perilous, not until she’d completed the training needed to deal with it, but she looked like she meant to argue with me. 

 “You can’t leave-” 

 Taking her arm, I pulled her to Korix’s side. 

 “Stay with Ko,” I said. “Please.” 

 I didn’t know if she’d heard the desperation in my voice or not, but she hesitantly nodded, and I joined Feena, already waiting by the beacon. We touched its ring, and once my disorientation had passed, I glanced over this pocket at the bottom of Lake Voxmore. 

 Everything looked the same as always, although the line where dry land met the lake bed looked more shimmery than normal, and I slowly relaxed. Perhaps Korix and I had been overreacting to Rane’s collapse. 

 When I scanned the rest of this enclosure, I spied something moving at the base of the building that enclosed The Library, and after enhancing my vision, I grinned. Near the hatch into The Library, Pheniks was hopping in place, excitedly waving his hands over his head. 

 “If he’s acting this enthusiastic, he must have found something really interesting,” I said. “Anyway, we should-” 

 “Uh… Zae?” 

 Feena pointed to the side of a constantly changing building, and there, I found an earlier noted shimmer increasing in intensity. 

 And I remembered a report that I’d read weeks ago, one that had described the Ancients’ affinity for manipulating membranes and electricity. I remembered that these two substances were all that made up a barrier. I remembered how when watching a report on the recent disaster, the barrier that had surrounded Zan’s research station had inexplicably faded. 

 I remembered how the only thing separating us from the crushing weight of water on all sides was one of those precarious things. 

 Snapping my head down, I screamed, “Phen, run!” 

 My brother stopped jumping in place, cocking his head, and the barrier at the far end of this pocket failed. Starting near its apex, a shimmering spot—hundreds of meters wide—crackled open, and through this breach, water pounded down on what those from the stars had built, making its constant transformation stutter. 

 I didn’t care about that, though. With my heart stalling in my chest, I watched as a stone column broke off to land near where my brother had been standing with a sheet of water following it. 

 “Phen!” I cried. 

 I had to… I had to help! 

 When I moved toward a crumbling building, ignoring the wall of water rushing toward me, someone seized my wrist. My palm was slapped onto metal. 

 And I was back in the beacon chamber. 

 As an ashen-faced Feena apparated at my side, our companions glanced at us. 

 “Rane’s fine-” Korix started. 

 I didn’t care. Snatching myself free of my sister’s hold, I started screaming… something — 

 “I have to go back!” a far-distant part of me realized. 

 —and slapped my hand on the beacon’s ring. 

 But nothing happened. Of course it didn’t. 

 “I’m sorry,” Feena softly said, reaching for me. “Please-” 

 “NO!” I roared. “No, no, no, no!” 

 I slammed my hands on the ring, applying greater force every time, but with its counterpart destroyed, this beacon could do nothing. Absolutely nothing. Just like me. 

 Shouting, I spun in place, tangling my hands in my hair, and when I reached a wall, I banged my head on it, trying to erase burgeoning knowledge. It, however, wouldn’t be denied. 

 Pheniks… My little brother… 

 Mother Time, I’d thought I could protect him from anything—bullies, his poor choices, even me—but I could do nothing against… 

 “What happened?” Korix asked behind me. 

 “The Ancients. It has to have been.” 

 Damn, Feena had sounded dazed. Hollow. She’d saved my life but… 

 Hell. She’d had to choose between her brothers. 

 “They destroyed the barrier around The Library,” she continued. 

 In the resulting pause, I could swear that silence had gained physical weight, crushing me into the stone. 

 Eventually, Korix said, “The Library is gone?” 

 “Yes,” Feena whispered. 

 And with everything inside of me, I silently screamed denial of this fact. 

 “Ah. Did Pheniks-?” 

 A sob answered that question before it could be finished. 

 “I’m…” 

 Korix puffed out a breath. 

 “He was a good man.” 

 Was. 

 That choice of words echoed in my head, even as I giggled at how clinically detached Korix had sounded. He’d always been awful when it came to comforting with words alone. 

 “We’ll never know how to kill the enemy now,” Feena faintly said. 

 I should explode on her for that— I didn’t need another fucking problem right now —but her hysterical laughter mixed with my giggling and I— 

 “How will I tell our parents?” she gasped. 

 —I realized that my hope was gone too. 

 Like a switch, the terrible, sweeping pendulum of my emotions halted, and I lifted my forehead off of the wall. Behind me, the others talked in halting sentences, meant to soothe, but I was focused on one thing. 

 The Ancients had killed my brother. I might not have a way to make them pay, but I could keep everyone else I loved safe from them. 

 Fishing through a pocket, I found a metal disk lying at the bottom of it, haphazardly stored there with other tools this morning, and on returning my hands to my head, I rubbed them over my scalp, eventually hanging them off of my neck. When I pressed a disk to the base of my skull, I glanced through my newly provided processes, and after finding the place where I’d added Korix as an exception days ago, I erased the addition. Hell, he’d kill me for this, or he would if… 

 Well. If. 

 Facing the chamber, I looked over these people, the ones I’d do anything for, and initiated camouflage, letting a buzz bury under my skin. As expected, Korix knew near instantaneously what I’d done. From where he was awkwardly patting Feena’s back, he stiffened, whirling toward me. 

 “Zae, don’t you dare!” he shouted. 

 I wished I could tell him how sorry I was and how much I loved him. I wished I could tell Leski how badly I wanted more time with her. I wished I could tell Feena that I didn’t blame her for stopping my misguided attempt to save Pheniks. 

 I couldn’t say a word, though. If I did, Korix would know where I was. He’d stop me before I left this chamber. 

 And I had somewhere to be. 

 The supply closet and its attached bar hardly made a mark on my senses, but then again, I was moving too quickly for them to register. Behind me, people cursed, and someone I loved called my name from a few steps distant.  

 Once I was on the walkway outside, losing Korix was easy, even with him on my heel from the start. After I’d done that, I still left my camouflage disk in place, despite the discomfort that it imparted. Korix would no doubt use the recorders between here and my destination to try pinpointing me, something that I couldn’t let him do, and since he knew where I was headed, I’d have to take a route that would defy his expectations. 

 Even with these challenges, I… wasn’t intimidated by the task. Huh. When had having Korix as an opponent become trivial to me? 

 As I reached a shuttle stop, I let that question rattle like ice cubes in my frozen being until a vehicle approached. Its doors opened, and I slipped, invisible, onto it.

Chapter 94: I Told You I Knew What to Do
As soon as I’d stepped into House Cerullis’ headquarters, I removed my camouflage disk, working my jaw once it was gone. Damn, I did not like the way that felt.  

 Around me, people had recoiled, wide-eyed, from the person who’d appeared in their midst, and I cheerily waved at them before resting my hands on my hips. This place’s lobby matched its upper floors’ theme, sporting various displays of the wonders that our planet held, and there were many of them, enough to make the floor of this cavernous space feel crowded. 

 But what held my fascination were the objects floating between the paths of the lifts overhead. I didn’t know how they were made, whether with projections or solid representations, but I did know what they were meant to model. 

 Planets. Specifically, the ones that circled our sun, all save ours. Its sisters, if you would. 

 I’d always had a peculiar preoccupation with space, as seen by my fascination with stories about the first Lokke Vitras and her Favored. After all, they were the only texts that had had anything outer space-related written in them for… I didn’t know how long, actually. So, this gorgeous model of our solar system—something I was a little surprised to see—took my breath away. 

 It was almost enough to push Pheniks’ death to the side. 

 “Can I help you?” 

 With my gaze tugged away from beauty, my loss once more hit me like a blow to the face. At the same time, I met a diminutive man’s eyes, and considering how he flinched away from me, he must have perceived my pain. 

 “I’m here to see Alezand,” I said. “We had an appointment planned for last week, but I’m sure he’ll want to keep it regardless. Tell him I’m here about Jastin’s elevation.” 

 Normally, my behavior would only make this House Cerullis member scoff at me. I didn’t know if my expression encouraged him to follow my instructions or if it was the coldness of mission mode, seeping from me, but he played at the air like he was writing a message, and after a delay, he licked his lips. 

 “Please, head to the top floor,” he said. “My shukusen will be waiting for you.” 

 No escort? Did Alezand know that his security measures were as nothing to me, or was he gambling that I’d come in good faith? 

 “My thanks,” I said. 

 Brushing past the man, I entered a lift, and while rising through the tower, I requested and dissipated my rifle several times, checking that my array’s functions hadn’t been blocked. I might have come here to surrender, but if I didn’t get the terms I wanted, I was leaving, whether that called for a fight or not. If it came to that, I’d need all of my resources at my disposal. 

 I was doing my very best to keep from thinking too hard about my purpose here today. 

 Alezand’s office was little changed from its appearance at night, but without the risk of discovery placing pressure on me, I could actually enjoy it on this visit. He didn’t have many windows overlooking the city, so little natural light filtered inside, and Cerullis’ most precious discoveries were scattered about the room in displays. The centerpiece of the room, however, was a relaxed sitting area. It was the place that Korix had found so disturbing when we’d infiltrated the tower a few weeks ago, and Alezand was waiting there. 

 So was First Stratus Jayla. Almost, the sight of her stalled my stride. What was she doing here? Before I could consider thoughts of betrayal or coercion, though, a message slid into my array. 

 I’m playing my part, it read. You play yours. 

 But she didn’t know why I was visiting. I’d have to devise a reason for her to leave before I… 

 Before. 

 “Lokke Vitras to come. I wasn’t expecting you,” Alezand said. “Please, take a seat.” 

 He gestured to the sofa opposite him, and no matter that my body felt like wood, I perched where he’d indicated. Lifting a prepared mug off of the table, I sniffed it before sipping a flavorful blend of tea, one that was familiar in nature. 

 “From Ostiu?” I asked. 

 “I heard that you like their tea,” Alezand said. 

 Ah. That made sense. With a sigh, I rested my mug on the table before angling my body toward Jayla. 

 “First Stratus, please forgive my rudeness,” I said. “I didn’t mean to ignore you.” 

 “Please. I took no offense.” 

 Jayla took a sample from her own mug before grimacing. 

 “It seems I don’t have as refined of a tongue as you,” she said, “but my apologies. You’re here to speak with my shukusen.” 

 “Yes,” I drawled, “with him and him alone.” 

 I leveled a pointed stare at Alezand, but the bastard only grinned at me. 

 “Should I not prepare my heir for conversations like this?” he asked. “You two are likely to work together at some point in the future, after all.” 

 Mother Time. Why was he acting like everything was business as usual? I was sitting here, barely restraining an urge to scratch his eyes out, and he… 

 Taking a calming breath, I said, “How much of what we’ll discuss does your First Stratus know?” 

 Alezand’s smile sharpened. 

 “Enough,” he said. 

 That was one attempt defeated, and perhaps Jayla knew what I was doing because she’d tightened on herself. I had to ignore the frown she directed my way. 

 Slowly, Alezand leaned back, tenting his fingers in front of his face. 

 “Tell me, esteemed one. Why are you here?” he said. “Is this about the tragedy that occurred earlier today? Because I don’t know how Cerullis can help the poor people who’ve survived it.” 

 Poor people from Zan, Cerullis’ rival House. Poor people who’d barely escaped an uncontrolled tumble into the sea. Poor people who if they’d shared their colleagues’ fate, would have drowned among the debris, on the off-chance that the fall hadn’t killed them. 

 “Do you think I’m stupid, or are you intentionally trying to piss me off?” I asked, somehow keeping my voice pleasant. “After what happened in your Southern Fells facility, I already knew that you were involved in something unwise, but now, I know about your collusion with the Ancients. I know that your people destroyed that research station’s supports after they disrupted its barrier. I know that you plan to do the same thing in Xygek sometime soon, just like I know that the Ancients destroyed The Library about an hour ago. My brother was in there, Alezand.” 

 Thank Mother Time for mission mode; otherwise, I’d probably be shouting at this asshole, no matter how pinched his eyes had become. The similar expression on Jayla’s face, however, had me grateful that I’d refrained from displaying my anger. 

 “I… I’m sorry to hear that,” Alezand said. “No matter that Second Stratus Pheniks was my rival as a House Zan member, he was your brother, and… I am so sorry.” 

 “Your apology means nothing to me,” I said, “and I didn’t come to speak with you either. I want to talk to the Ancient that’s made your House its puppet.” 

 As he rocked back in his seat, Alezand worked his mouth, and I leaned forward to take another sip of tea. Once I was done, I met the shukusen’s eyes from my lowered position. 

 “Do you still think your First Stratus should be here?” I asked. 

 Alezand darted his gaze to Jayla, who’d gone stiff as a corpse, before making shooing motions at her. 

 [ She stays. ] 

 The steam rising above our tea shifted and condensed into a hollow shape, one with something shimmering along its inside, and in its midst, a spear of lightning sparked to life, growing and diminishing with the steam’s shape. This was an Ancient? It was… so small. And damn, I could break it apart with a wave of my hand. 

 Before I could try, it twisted and jerked in a spastic pattern until it was hovering along the ceiling, all done in an eyeblink. Fast. That had been faster than me when I was using House Kolb speed. 

 As I gulped, I was grateful that the shadows along the ceiling were partially hiding the Ancient. It made the being slightly less intimidating. 

 [ Well? ] 

 Across from me, Alezand and Jayla winced while the First Stratus rubbed her forehead. Conversely, the new pulse throbbing in my head was only strong enough to make my eye twinge along with it. 

 “My evushk told me what you want,” I said. “I’m here to negotiate the terms of my surrender.” 

 As if ruffled, the shadows briefly flurried into motion before subsiding. 

 [ Why would we want you? We’ve already gotten everything that we need from your people’s protectors, the ones you represent. ] 

 Gritting my teeth, I retrieved my tea mug, breathing in its soothing vapors. I knew the Ancients were beyond emotions, but I couldn’t help taunting it anyway. 

 “Don’t play dumb,” I said. “You know who I am. You know that removing me from the board would be a blow to Lutov, one that you could exploit. You also know that I stole one of your most useful tools from you, although I’m confused about why emotionless beings like you would want something petty like revenge. Perhaps you need it to reassert your strength over the other Ancients. Do your people jockey for power like ours do?” 

 Opposite me, Alezand shot forward. 

 “Stop being difficult,” he hissed. “It adjusts how it treats you based on your level of defiance, and trust me. You don’t want-” 

 [ Be silent. ] 

 Grunting, Alezand shut his mouth, tottering in place so badly that Jayla had to steady him. 

 [ We won’t deign to explain our society to a solid weakling like you, but you are right. Having you under our control would be… beneficial. What do you want from us so that we may gain this? ] 

 Oo, the pressure in my head would make it pop. 

 “Not planning to force it?” I said. “Or have you already tried that?” 

 It was more likely that the Ancient wanted to hear my terms before invading my head, giving itself more time to weigh its options, but I’d never find out if this was true. It refused to answer me. 

 “Fine, then,” I said before raising my voice. “For one day, I want you to delay the plans that you and Cerullis have for Lutov, a day here being twenty-four hours.” 

 Always best to be as specific as possible when making a deal with hostile forces. 

 [ Acceptable. Such a small thing will change nothing. Anything else? ] 

 Did I dare risk it? I didn’t know if another demand would ruin my work to this point. 

 Oh, what was I thinking? I’d come here specifically because of this demand. 

 “Only one thing,” I said. “One of your people killed Second Stratus Pheniks. I loved my brilliant, little brother, and he’s dead now because of you bastards.” 

 Oo, I’d raised my volume too much there. Hell. If grief broke through mission mode, it would ruin my presented persona. Taking a deep breath, I let it out slowly. 

 “I don’t want that to happen again,” I said. “So, if you get what you want, you leave the people I love alone. You don’t breed in them or whatever the fuck else you want Lutov for. They stay safe and alive. All of them. And before you go ‘ignoring’ this term because you don’t understand love, I’ve sent a detailed list of my loved ones to Alezand. If he wants to atone for his hand in Pheniks’ death, he’ll distribute that list throughout Cerullis’ ranks at the slightest lack of compliance on your part, letting them know that you’ve broken one of your agreements. That might make them more wary of dealing with you, don't you think?” 

 I’d made the list while on the way here, and when Alezand received it, his eyebrows soared before he shot an incredulous look at me. 

 [ Obedient one, recite the list for us. ] 

 Making a face, Alezand rattled off the names of each of my family members and every partner I’d had in my life, whether I was seeing them now or not. I hadn’t thought I could risk adding more people. 

 For a while, I’d toyed with the idea of tricking the Ancient by adding everyone in Lutov to my list, but I’d figured my opponent would check what I was asking for, and I couldn’t count on Alezand to lie for me. 

 I probably should have included Jayla in that list too, but in the short time between seeing her and this moment, I hadn’t thought about that possibility, which had been slow on my part. I hoped she wouldn’t pay for my mistake. 

 A long silence followed the last name that Alezand spoke, and while I waited, I finished off my tea. What else was I supposed to do? Either the Ancient would reject my terms, and I’d go from there, or… it wouldn’t. 

 [ Before we make a decision, we would like to know. Is it possible for you solid beings to love so many people? ] 

 When Alezand frowned in response, my hopes started crumbling. Everything I’d worked for in this meeting would fail because this man had a shriveled heart. Then, Jayla cleared her throat. 

 “If I may, perhaps the emotion that we call love has been misrepresented to you,” she said. “It has many flavors, from what we give to the people that we partner with or to those we call family or friend, but love, in whatever form it takes, is the most powerful of feelings, pushing humans to incredible lengths at times. You only need look at him and what he’s willing to sacrifice for his loved ones to see that this is true.” 

 She waved at me before continuing. 

 “As with all things that grant someone strength, each human has a different capacity for how much they can love. Some people don’t have it in them to love a single person while others… others are like him.” 

 Nodding my way, she smiled, and I did my best to appear pleased by what she’d said. Mission mode was making it difficult to tell how I really felt about it. 

 [ …Why are you solid beings so unreasonable? In the end, it doesn’t matter, though. We have our answer, and now, you will have yours. ] 

 The Ancient’s indistinct form floated through the air, stopping so close to my nose that I had trouble with focusing on it. The lightning inside of it had assumed a faint, golden color while the glisten that coated its misty body had thinned. 

 [ Your terms accepted, rejected Favored. A pact formed between— ] 

 Again, with the garbled noise. Maybe it was their true name. 

 [ —and you, upon your surrender. ] 

 Oh, goody. My plan had worked. Might I please request my rifle and blow my brains out for my brilliant idiocy now? 

 “How do I do that?” I asked with my voice choked. “The surrendering bit, I mean.” 

 [ You LET. US. IN. ] 

 With a pained grunt, I almost toppled off of the sofa, making the Ancient jerk away from my pitch forward. Clutching at the edge of my seat, I sorted through my mased thoughts—one screeching knowledge of worse that was yet to come and another crooning triumph—but in this mess, I found what I remembered surrendering to be. It was almost like diving into a thoughtless state but also… not. 

 Bracing, I breathed out self—snarky behavior, fierce devotion to everything I held dear, desperate need for freedom—and when I sucked air back into my lungs, the Ancient came with it.

Chapter 95: Rooting Through My Past
DO YOU SEE, BRETHREN? WE ARE ALWAYS VICTORIOUS! 

 

 Pheniks, Feena, and I chase one another across the Azuwell Plains with our giggles and shouts ringing in a quiet serenity. My sister is starting another round of lesson rotations tomorrow, so our parents have set us loose on the world, letting us wander as far from home as we want. 

 As usual, my brother has fallen behind, and after exchanging a glance, Feena and I slow down, spinning so that we’re trotting backward. We make faces and stick our tongues out at him, and growling, Pheniks pumps his short legs faster. 

 Predictably, when he catches up, he leaps to tackle me while Feena laughs. With an exaggerated ‘oof’, I tumble as dramatically as I can, pleading for Pheniks to let me go once we’ve hit the ground. 

 “No!” he pipes up. “MY big brother, Zae. You stay! No leaving like mean Feena.” 

 “Hey!” Feena shouts before grimacing. “Actually… you know what? He’s right.” 

 She drops into the grass beside us, and throwing my arms around Pheniks, I bury my nose in the top of his head. 

 “Not going anywhere, Phen,” I say. “I’ll keep you safe.” 

 He was gone! He was gone! He was gone! He was-! 

 [ So much pain here. How did you resist us? ] 

 What…? 

 A blast of white-hot heat tore me through time again. 

 Easing the window open, I wait for a moment, listening for unexpected sounds. When nothing drifts to me, I swing into the house, rolling to spread my impact on the floor. Rocking to my feet, I lower the arms that I have spread, happy with my near-perfect entrance, and behind me, someone slowly claps.  

 Spinning, I have a knife brandished before I can find who’s watching me. Dad grins at me with his teeth glinting, but no matter how pleased he appears, he still holds a hand out for my weapon. With an exasperated sigh, I trudge to him, slapping the knife in place. 

 “Where did you sneak off to this time?” dad asks. “We don’t have any bars near the estate.” 

 I cringe at the reminder of how I came home in the small hours of the morning, extremely drunk, the last time we were in Xygek. I’m usually better at hiding it when I’m in that state. 

 “That was one time,” I hiss, “and if you must know, I’m practicing. I have an exam on stealth work during my next Kolb rotation.” 

 I don’t, actually, but he doesn’t need to know the real reason I’m scurrying around the house this late. 

 Dad examines me for so long that I’m worried he’s seen through my lie, but then, he cocks his head. 

 “Want some pointers?” he asks. 

 Why had he pushed me away? What was so wrong with me that my own father would-? 

 But he hadn’t, had he? 

 What was going on? I let the Ancient in and then… 

 There was a gap in my memory, which wasn’t terrifying at all. 

 Was the Ancient reenacting my worst moments by using my memories of the people involved in them? But… why would it do that? Did it need a greater hold-? 

 As if flexing a muscle, what had clamped my head in an iron grip squeezed, and a deep, internal ache jarred me away from the present. 

 I’m bored. Really fucking bored. Brenson, today’s House Drav instructor, is droning on about the process of maturing a zygote into a blastocyst in laboratory conditions, and I barely contain a yawn. 

 I don’t find the subject matter uninteresting, but when one has already studied it to the point of deep memory integration, listening to it explained as if we unHoused have never heard of artificial pregnancies is tedious. It doesn’t help that Brenson has the. most. dry way of explaining concepts 

 “Zaeden!” said instructor snaps. “If you find my lecture so dull, why don’t you explain the process for me?” 

 “Of course, Fifth Stratus.” 

 Internally sighing, I get to my feet and prepare to ‘stumble’ through the requested explanation. 

 Why… why would the Ancient replay that memory? It couldn’t invoke anything in me, just a… a… 

 Why was I having such a hard time with think-? 

 My brain wailed, protesting what I’d done to it. 

 For the hundredth time, ink splotches on the page, ruining my last two lines of work, and growling, I toss my pen across the room with my shoulders heaving. 

 I don’t understand the point of this. Why do I need to learn anything more than the basics of handwriting when I have my array? 

 “Frustration, kuvesk? You should know better by now.” 

 Jerking my head toward the door, I fight to ignore how my insides have shriveled at the sight of my evushk. He isn’t supposed to be home yet! 

 Striding across the room, evushk retrieves my pen before returning it to me. 

 “Sit,” he says. 

 I sit.  

 “Show me what you’ve been doing,” he says. 

 I slowly and carefully form letters until evushk leans on the desk over me. 

 “You need to be more fluid,” he says. “Pretend it’s a painting, one that you’re forming with words.” 

 Gently resting his hand around mine, evushk guides my pen across the page for a line before releasing me. 

 “Do you see?” he asks. 

 I see that my mouth is dry, and with my heart fluttering, I badly want to twist in place so I can kiss him, but I can’t do that. Instead, I give the expected answer. 

 “Yes, evushk.” 

 And that was a happy memory, if a little bitter around the edges. What the hell was the Ancient doing? 

 Wait. Was it-? 

 Without warning, I gained awareness of my body, even if it was merely factual knowledge in nature. I noticed how its every muscle was strained with occasional twitches washing over them, and air was rushing against an over-abused throat. For the briefest of moments, I tasted the reason I was having this horrible of a reaction and immediately ran from it, retreating to the safest place I knew. 

 Gasping, I race after evushk with the angry shouts of our targets rising too close behind us. Atop the hill ahead, our exfil is waiting with its doors already sprung open, and on reaching it, I dive into the skycruiser while evushk pauses outside. Six zinging energy bolts means six targets dead, and he springs into his seat before the vehicle shoots into the air, even with his door still open. 

 An explosion threatens to pop my eardrums, setting the skycruiser shaking, and through its window, I watch flames gout into the air below us. As the cacophony dies, evushk gets his door closed before collapsing, and both of us catch our breath. 

 This is my fault. I should have planned for more time between when we planted the bomb and when we left, planned for the possibility that someone would stumble upon us, but I didn’t. How do I acknowledge my mistakes and apologize without using the forbidden words ‘I’m sorry’? 

 I can’t sit here, deliberating. Getting my apology wrong will be better than letting evushk speak first. 

 I turn his way, only to find him watching me with something I’ve never seen before in his eyes. Wha-? 

 Snatching my shirt, evushk drags me halfway over the divider between us, and without ceremony, he presses his lips to mine, frantically holding my head in place. His tongue plays along the line of my mouth, and my thoughts stutter to a stop on a single question.  

 Holy shit. Does he feel the same way? 

 Fucking hell, I was right. The Ancient was rifling through my memories, probably looking for something that it could use. Why else would it allow the recollection of something like-? 

 [ Why are you being so difficult? You’re as bad as the Favored. How is your body’s reaction to danger unable to touch you? You solid beings usually respond beautifully to pain. ] 

 I was laughing. I didn’t know if it was in my head or outside of it, but it was there: mirth pushing its way through the blockade of what was slowing my thoughts down. 

 Did the Ancient not understand the role of the Lokke Vitras? By working with the first of us so long ago, its people had created us, in a way. If it wanted to manipulate me via pain, it would have to crank up the notch a hundred- 

 It obliged. 

 Bodies lie at my feet, and I can’t deny them. The two mothers and an uncle. The boys. The girl. 

 I can’t tear my eyes off of them while my hands shake. Hands that killed this family. 

 “You didn’t fail me,” Korix says. 

 Numb, I lie on my bed, gathering the energy to rise from it. Details from my last mission keep obliterating my attempts, and only a sense of cold, deep inside of me, is stopping me from spiraling. 

 Absently, I look through my messages, and my fingers are set trembling when I find one from Feena waiting for me. Almost violently, I swipe it to center field, devouring her words with greedy eyes. 

 “The Ancients don’t understand emotions, especially not love,” Korix says. 

 My off-key droning competes with Kyllen in volume, and I rock in place with my favorite song by him serving as a lifeline. 

 Korix. Where’s Korix? I need him, need to- to talk this awfulness out! 

 “In fact, love repels the Ancients,” Korix says. “Remember, Zae. Use it.” 

 No, no, no! Fuck no! The Ancient couldn’t see these- couldn’t- 

 What if it found a memory from after I’d rescued Korix? Those were the ones it didn’t have, and most of them involved our feeble attempts to counter its people. It might glean something useful from them. How did I stop it from-? 

 I was blasted from existence. 

 Jayla grants me incredulity and resolve when she shakes her head. 

 “I’ll tell you everything about the oppressor in our midst,” she says. 

 She can’t give me much, but I’m still glad that Korix and I stopped her earlier. She and everyone else who disagrees with Alezand’s handling of the Ancients will be allies in the enemy’s midst, an early warning sign for when chaos is about to begin. 

 [ There it is. ] 

 Oh… no.

Chapter 96: Hey Buddy, Get the Hell Out
The Ancient left me, steam and electricity billowing out of a scorched-through body. I was on the ground, uncomfortably sprawled beneath an overturned table, but I couldn’t relieve the discomfort of my position. In fact, I couldn’t move at all, save for the shivers rumbling through me. 

 A wavering whine scraped over my gnashed tongue with saliva or maybe blood dripping out of my mouth, but I couldn’t stop the noise. An echo of what the Ancient had done to me loudly reverberated in my body, and a piercing shriek filled my head at what was still to come. 

 Why had the Ancient left me before it had finished what it had started? 

 I could barely see around the table’s edge to the man who was watching me with bulging eyes. Alezand had recoiled from me, which I found strange. Why would my enemy find my torture horrifying? Jayla, on the other hand… 

 Jayla! 

 Staring at her, I waited for her to meet my eyes, all while fighting for control of my voice. 

 “R-r-ru-r-” 

 Fuck, I couldn’t get it out. Please Mother Time, say that she understood anyway. 

 [ You have a traitor in your midst, obedient one. Several, actually, but the one who leads them is sitting in this room with you. ] 

 With a gasp, Alezand jerked toward Jayla, who met his accusing gaze with calm. Why wasn’t she running? 

 “You’d trust that thing over me?” Jayla asked. “Please, shukusen. I know you’ve had to follow its crazy schemes over the years, but you’d believe this? I wouldn’t betray my House.” 

 “I-” 

 Hell, Alezand looked conflicted, which was strange to see on a shukusen. They were usually self-assured. After all, the Strata system only produced the most qualified person from each House to lead, but to be fair, this one had been under inordinate pressure for years. 

 [ Your belief in us doesn’t matter. We have told you that the one beside you is a traitor. If you wish to avoid our displeasure, the proper response is to eliminate the presented threat. ] 

 “WHAT?” 

 Shooting to her feet, Jayla glanced between the Ancient and her shukusen. 

 “You- you wouldn’t,” she said. “Murder? That’s… You wouldn’t, Alezand. It’s wrong.” 

 But he would. I knew the set of those shoulders and the clench of that jaw. I’d seen it too many times to count. Alezand might be battling with his conscience, but he’d made his decision, and desperate, I tried once more to manipulate my own fucking body. 

 “R-run, Jay-J-!” 

 I couldn’t get anything else out, but my wheezing cry was enough to get her moving. She sprinted toward the table, and Alezand bolted after her, reaching into a pocket. They disappeared from view, and with my heart in my throat, I listened to their shouts and scuffling. 

 They fought for a while, two people whose training during Kolb rotations had long since faded. Eventually, though, the blast of an energy bolt filled the room with someone’s body unceremoniously flopping to the floor afterward, and a gurgle signaled a fatal wound that would nonetheless take ages to kill. 

 And all the while, the Ancient hovered over me, motionless. 

 When Alezand trudged back into view, tossing a pistol to the side, my sips of air became ragged gasps. Something far worse than what I’d already endured had come to clean me out. 

 “I trust that you’re satisfied,” the bastard panted. 

 [ Exceedingly. You may leave us. ] 

 Hanging his head, Alezand chuckled under his breath. What had he expected? Praise for what he’d done? 

 “And the plan for the rest of the day?” he asked. “Are we delaying, as promised, or shall we continue?” 

 [ We honor our pacts, obedient one. You will wait exactly twenty-four hours from now before commencing the cascade. Now, leave us. We have our own work to complete. ] 

 Wincing, Alezand rubbed his temples. 

 “Of course.” 

 He refused to look at me when he passed, which was just as well. I was sure he could feelwhat I was pouring at him anyway. 

 When the door behind the sofa slid shut, only Jayla’s struggling wheezes filled the silence, and I squeezed my eyes closed. 

 “I’m so-rry.” 

 What else could I say? How did one comfort someone who was dying, in part, because of them? 

 “When you see- Fy, tell him-” 

 But I couldn’t finish that thought, not when it would mean using her as a messenger. Hopefully, if she could hear me, she’d understand what I’d meant. She’d see Fyester soon. 

 Oh, Mother Time. I’d gotten them both killed. 

 [ That’s quite enough. ] 

 Smoke streamed toward me, pushing into my nose and mouth, and I swore I’d choke on it, but that fear was forgotten as lightning joined the flow. It caressed my body and- 

 The next thing I knew, the Ancient had disappeared, and I was screaming my throat raw. Frantically, I turned off pain receptors throughout my body, but what was blasting through me just flipped them back on again. I was left scrambling for something, anything, to help cope with this because otherwise, I would deconstruct, brick by brick, until I was empty, and I… 

 With a jerk, I pulled away from the void that was calling to me. I couldn’t go blank like that, couldn’t lose control. I wouldn’t surrender. 

 Never let it be said that the people in my family weren’t stubborn. Even knowing where my circumstances would inevitably lead, I’d fight it because that was what I did. I would hiss and kick and spit, a demon unleashed, even as a blade bit into my heart. 

 So, I reached for the only ones who could keep me aloft on this sea of torment: my sister, Korix, Leski. All the people who were my home. 

 [ Home… ] 

 The Source is broken. Its slow turn has been unraveling for centuries, and yet, the majority refuses to see why. The solid beings with their poisons have upset its delicate balance, and if we don’t act soon, we will die out with each of us gradually reducing to wisp and spark. Who knows if we can reform from that state? 

 AND WHAT DOES THE ONE SUGGEST THAT THE MANY DO? 

 We need a new way to live. If we approach the solid beings, invoking our long-held agreement, maybe they’ll help us. 

 YOU WOULD TRUST THEM TO KEEP THEIR END OF THEIR SO-CALLED ANCIENTS PACT? 

 Trust a volatile, solid being? Never. 

 But no harm can come from trying, and if they refuse, well. We have ideas for how we can make them comply. 

 What had that been? It had had the flavor of the Ancient’s voice throughout it. Had I formed a link with mine like Korix had with his, one that would let its thoughts and memories flow to me? 

 I had no energy for true speculation, not with pressure building in my throat. A need to cough was competing with my thready scream, and in the same way, something tickled the back of my pain-soaked mind, a remembered fact that was beating against my nerves. 

 Mother Time, they were igniting so fiercely. I was at the bottom of my sea of torment, breathing and bathing in its waves, but even still, I held on because I could see it. Help was diving for me, twirling and flashing around everything that tried to stop it. It had something to do with Korix, the first of my new family. 

 [ Family… ] 

 For two weeks, one of our derivative has been trapped in the Favored, waiting for us to commence the plan. Soon, we can make our move, now that only a few days are left until the chief threats relax their scrutiny. We constantly send the trapped one these thoughts so that all know the timeline. 

 So, when something changes, we divert all attention to the one of our derivative. 

 In the base of the chief threats’ tower, the Favored becomes available to us in an agonizingly slow manner, not that the rate of our returned control matters. Soon, we’ll have— 

 As something unknown rips through us, we stutter with the flash of it sweeping through us all, even those of us in the Source, and wisps of us tear away, dissolving as they drift free. The electricity-that-is-us is nearly sapped of energy, and for a moment, the Source stops spinning. But then, we’re restored, and the trapped one is still contained but not in the Favored. 

 Not in the Favored. 

 The solid beings have discovered a way to remove us? And it’s one that- that- 

 We haven’t flickered like that in millennia, not since the time of not-us. Not since those alien being ceased so many of us near the Source. After sending the invaders back where they belonged, we thought we’d never experience it again, but if the solid beings can dim us… 

 We receive confirmation from the majority in the Source. Our plans to make the solid beings ours have jumped in priority. 

 Laughter greeted me when I returned to a glittering world. It flashed in and out of focus, but I didn’t care. I had something useful that I could do with what flagging remnants of life I had left, but first, I had to wrest my body’s strings free of the Ancient’s control. 

 As if it knew my thoughts, it ramped up its torture, crisping my brain so that its outer layer burned in my skull, and snarling, I reached for the fact that I’d remembered, something that might help me. 

 [ What is WRONG with you? ] 

 My manic giggling was making my body shudder almost as much as the agony that was wracking it because the Ancient didn’t understand. You see, yes. This was horrible, something I’d typically run from with all haste, but I’d been here before, in one form or another. Given enough time, this constant spasm would break me, shattering me into dust, but a few minutes spent here wouldn’t do it. 

 So, it poured hurt on me, and while most of me was occupied with fighting its attack off, a small part combed through my memories searching for something Korix had said. 

 What had it been? Something that I’d remembered earlier, pushing it aside before I’d recognized its significance. Something about resisting the enemy. Something- 

 “Love repels the Ancients.” 

 As Korix’s voice echoed through me, I sighed, relaxing inside even if my body couldn’t. That was right. All I needed to do was remember what it felt like when I was with the people I loved. This would be easy. 

 I thought of Korix treating my injuries after a mission. 

 [ What are you doing? ] 

 I thought of Ace trotting to me when I came home. 

 [ Ugh. What- what IS that? ] 

 I thought of Pheniks and Feena, rushing to help me when I needed them. 

 [ Stop. We- STOP! ] 

 I thought of the rapture on Korix’s face when I moved my body just right. 

 [ We can’t- No! ] 

 I thought of the five of us together and the possibility of adding Leski to our family. I thought of how much I wanted to be with them, even if I’d also do what was needed to keep them safe. 

 And the Ancient fell silent with its hand removed from me. 

 Until my trembling subsided, I lay on the floor, just breathing, but when I could move, I hauled myself to my feet, stumbling toward the door. I paused beside Jayla, flinching at the sight of her empty eyes. 

 “I’m sorry, both to you and Fyester,” I said. “I should have kept you safe.” 

 Because something was nibbling at the edge of my control, however, I put my back to her with a picture of my family firmly planted in my heart and mind. When I reached the lift, I shakily input a floor destination, hoping that I’d chosen the right one. If I was following through with the crazy plan I’d concocted, I’d need to reach the most well-guarded lab in this place.

Chapter 97: So, This Hurts
As I descended through House Cerullis’ headquarter, I set about dismantling as much of its security as I could. I had no doubt that Korix had gone straight to Talira after losing me, and once she learned I had a handle on the Ancient in me, she’d be sure to send Kolb’s high Strata in here. 

 Speaking of which, I should send her a message. 

 It’s mine. For now. Send me everything you have on the removal of my evushk’s Ancient. 

 As if to prove my point on my tenuous control, something inside of me made a leap for control 

 [ You pact breaking— ] 

 I swatted it down with memories of my grandmother. Her crying over me when Korix had made me his replacement. Her doing everything she could to make my training easier. 

 The Ancient ran away from the warmth in my heart, but it didn’t go far. It paced at the boundary of my control, watching for an opening. 

 When I stepped out of the lift, I leaned against a wall, fighting to get my breathing back under control. Mother Time help me if I had to fight because it would, without a doubt, not be much of one. 

 Despite how much easier my camouflage disk would have made this walk through enemy territory, I didn’t retrieve it from its pocket. I couldn’t give the Ancient an advantage, and the disk’s buzz over my skin would definitely be one of those. So, after several steadying breaths, I pushed off of the wall and made my way into Cerullis’ most secret lab. 

 I looked out of place here, having dressed for a day spent researching, once my meeting with Talira had concluded. My white jeans and formal, black jacket drew many an eye, not that I could blame them. 

 What could I say? When nothing constrained me, I dressed to attract. 

 At the moment, though, it was a bit inconvenient. I met every stare with the person I became while in mission mode, and as usual, my observers shuddered before returning to what they’d been doing, intent on pretending I didn’t exist. Thank Mother Time for humanity’s innate desire to stay out of trouble. 

 Maintaining this image, however, was more taxing than normal right now. Projecting intimidation? Pretending that I’d cast emotions away from me? These were at odds with what I must hold in my heart. 

 It also didn’t help that most of what I passed, Pheniks would have found fascinating beyond belief. I loved… had loved my brother, but the thought of him was a chink in the armor that I’d raised around my mind, and oh, how the Ancient worried at it. 

 The worst of this came when I stepped into a large, domed chamber with storecases scattered around its edge. A few paces from the wall, an ankle-high railing made a ring, serving as a guard against the half-sphere that had been dug into the floor. A staircase led into the bottom of this hollow, where controls of some sort lay, but the crown jewel of the chamber hung above this. 

 A depiction of a star—our sun, if my array was correct—rotated in the middle of the chamber. Orange and yellow fire roiled below the surface of a sphere while whips of flame rose from it in arcs and tendrils. 

 I looked upon one of the most powerful sources of energy in the universe, enough to bring life to a planet, and it was spectacular. For who knew how long, all I could do was stand before this representation. When compared to the wonder of how chance and science had merged to create this, I was floored by my insignificance. 

 So, when a tiny spot on the star jittered, I frowned. Was the depiction’s equipment glitching? 

 As I watched, though, more pieces of the star’s surface shimmered until all at once, the sun stopped rotating. A warping sheen, much like a reflection in a patch of disturbed water, coated it, and shivering in place, the star jumped in size by the tiniest of fractions before jolting into a spin again. 

 While the jittery segment faded, I gaped at an image of the sun, returned to normal. What had that been? Was Cerullis running projections for a planned experiment’s outcome? 

 No, that couldn’t be it. Lutov didn’t do space travel anymore. 

 We did occasionally send satellites to orbit our planet, though. Considering that, was this an actual representation of our sun, and if it was, I was returned to my original question. What the fuck had that been? 

 Damn, a puzzle like this would have enchanted Pheniks. He’d have been hopping about this place, running down the stairs to inspect the depiction’s controls before pouring over the reports in the chamber’s storecases. He’d have been babbling up a stream, one that I'd have barely understood, and I’d have watched it all, pretending to be exasperated but secretly pleased. 

 [ But his solid body failed. ] 

 Grunting, I stumbled toward the chamber’s perimeter, blindly reaching for support. I found it right as my legs gave out, leaving me clinging to what I was holding. 

 I couldn’t focus on Pheniks’ loss. I had to remember every time my little brother had realized that he’d said something insensitive and how red his face had gotten while stuttering his apology. Or every time he’d indulged me with a session of combat training, even though he’d hated it. Or every time he’d stopped by my room to ask a question about a girl, all of which I found easily answerable. 

 I wouldn’t let the Ancient use him to defeat me. 

 “Another distortion…?” 

 A woman scurried into the chamber, stopping short when she noticed me. 

 “Who-? What are you doing here?” 

 Dragging myself upright, I faced the House Cerullis member storming toward me. 

 “I haven’t seen you here before. Name and Stratus, if you please,” she snapped. “And what are you wearing? It’s not at all appropriate for a lab.” 

 “I’m… not usually in one,” I said. 

 Oh, hell. I had to get this panting under control before she noticed it. 

 “First Stratus Jayla sent me to retrieve something from aviation. I got a little lost.” 

 Rubbing the back of my neck, I ducked my head, pointedly refusing to consider how I was using a dead woman to get what I wanted. 

 “I see,” the House Cerullis member said. “You’re one of her Third Stratus assistants, then?” 

 Keeping my eyes on the floor, I nodded, and the woman irritably sighed. 

 “You stopped too soon,” she said. “Aviation’s two doors down, on the right.” 

 I said nothing more, delaying in the hopes that my damn legs would start working before I was forced out of here. 

 “Well?” the woman soon snapped. “How long will you keep our First Stratus waiting?” 

 “Yes, of course,” I said. “Thank you for your help.” 

 I couldn’t say how I remained upright while staggered out of that chamber, but as I continued down the corridor outside, I had to trail my fingers along a wall. I was pretty sure I’d topple without its steadying surface to help. 

 When I reached it, aviation was less crowded than I’d expected. A handful of people were bustling about the place, working on shuttles and transports, but the number found here didn’t match with the size of the cavernous space they filled. Knowing that aviation took up half of this floor, I’d thought it would be big, but this… it could easily fit several copies of my parents’ estate inside of it. 

 While its size was interesting, I was more occupied by the aircraft inside of it. These transports and shuttles looked the same as any other, although the people working on them were focused on their underside rather than visible parts. Perhaps whatever changes they were making to those vehicles could be found there. 

 When I saw the skycruisers, though, my heart leapt in my chest while my lips parted. Cerullis had taken those sleek aircraft and added weapons to them. So many different guns were bristling from them, mostly on the front, and I didn’t know how useful having them on a skycruiser would be, considering its limitations, but I wanted one. Now. 

 Unfortunately, they wouldn’t serve my purpose. I needed something fast and maneuverable, much like a P.I.G. Something with the reserves to get me halfway across the planet while also sporting protection against extreme environments. With how much focus Cerullis had given to the atmosphere in recent years, they should have what I needed around here somewhere. 

 On shaky legs, I wobbled around aviation, keeping my eyes peeled for anything that would fit my requirements, and thankfully, finding it didn’t take long. I slumped against a rack full of shiny people, if said people had been flattened and hung from hooks. Each of these suits had a large reserve and a pack strapped to its back as well as a P.I.G.’s spiderweb flowing over it, but besides that, it was a viscous sleeve with no openings in its material. How the hell did I put one on? 

 Pulling a—hopefully—atmospheric suit free of the rack, I held it in front of me, flipping it back and forth, before cautiously touching a glowing circle under its chin. Whatever the suit was made of, it was gelatinous in nature, resisting my finger’s pressure even as it gave, and it was cold, an intense enough sensation that I retracted my hand with a hiss. When I forced myself to once more touch the liquid metal, I pushed on the circle, and the front of the suit split open, separating until it stopped at mid-shin and the wrists. 

 So, I just what? Stepped into it? 

 “Hey! Why are you just standing there?” 

 A man was jogging my way, waving overhead, and on spying him, I clicked my tongue. I’d noticed people beginning to file out of the room, but I’d hoped to have left this place before anyone noticed me. 

 “Didn’t you get the alert?” the man asked. “We’re supposed to assemble in the park. Apparently, someone’s been…” 

 Swallowing hard, he shuddered. 

 “Someone’s been killed,” he continued more quietly. 

 Jayla. I pushed images of her dead face out of my mind. 

 When I didn’t react to the mention of death like he had, the man gave me an odd look. 

 “What are you doing?” he asked. “We don’t need to take atmospheric readings anymore, remember?” 

 “Is that so?” I sighed. 

 Stepping into one floppy boot, I cocked my head as the material conformed around my foot, hardening as it did. I could move, but that movement was limited, and when I bent to knock on what was covering me, my knuckles rang on something solid. 

 Thank all that might be holy, the material’s chill sensation stayed on its exterior surface. Instead, a pleasant warmth embraced my foot. 

 “Huh,” I said. 

 “Mother Time, it was you!” the man gasped. “You’re the murderer!” 

 Glancing up at him, I displayed what I hoped was a feral grin. To me, it felt anguished. 

 “Yes,” I said. 

 As if waiting for my admission of guilt, alarms started blaring in aviation with its lights flashing—Talira must have deployed the high Strata—and the man from House Cerullis retreated a step. 

 Rising to my full height, I growled, “Better run along now.” 

 And he did so because who wouldn’t? I was a terror, only deserving other people’s fear. 

 I shoved my other foot into the suit, following it with a hand into a glove. 

 How many people had died because of me? 

 What a stupid question. I had the answer sitting in my array, but as I brought it up, I paused. 

 I couldn’t do this. Self-flagellation and disgust? They couldn’t be indulged in when- 

 [ Ah, but you’ve already let us in, pact-breaker. Such formidable defenses to be cracked by such a large breach. What a pity. Now, let us show you what we do to the people who have broken their promises to us. ] 

 Desperately, I reached for the suit’s hood, flinging it over my head, while bringing to mind those I loved. Talira, Korix, Ace, Feena… 

 It wasn’t enough. The Ancient poured boiling acid over me, and I melted beneath it.

Chapter 98: This Is Why We Make Friends
“Zaeden! I need you come back, kuvesk.” 

 Hurt is the world is the world is the world is my- 

 “Fight it off. You can do it.” 

 No relief some relief have to think have to… Mother Time, it HURTS! 

 Someone. Help. 

 I’m breaking. 

 “I KNOW THEY’RE COMING, FEENA!” 

 Something there. Something besides hurt. 

 I—what is I?—think I know what that mish-mashed noise meant. I can almost pick apart its words. 

 “Please, Zae.” 

 Oh, good. He made it simple for me this time. 

 He? Who’s he? 

 “Hurry back to me.” 

 Someone I… love. Such a good word. I love him. Even if I don’t know who- 

 Yes, I do. Korix. My Korix. 

 As something… evil howled in defeat, I blinked at a blurry world, one that was inundated by sound. Muffled shouting rose from somewhere distant interrupted by an alarm and a crashing noise. 

 And above me, ragged sobs twisted my heart while moisture pattered on my face. 

 “You can’t leave me like this. I’m not strong like you. If the Ancient burns you out of your body, I can’t… Please…” 

 My eyes focused at the rate of my muscles’ relaxation, and the fuzzy shape that was Korix gained clarity. Holy shit. Was he crying? 

 “Ko,” I breathed. 

 Despite how quietly I’d spoken, my throat couldn’t take any more, not until my body finished healing its ravaged state. Weak coughs flopped my head around in Korix’s lap until he clutched me to him—Mother Time, his touch was cold—and rained kisses on my face. 

 Feebly, I pushed against him. 

 “Ko.” 

 And again, when he didn’t respond. 

 “Ko!” 

 My coughing fit rolled me away from him this time, and I struggled to lift myself onto my elbows. 

 Meeting his eyes, I said in sub-vocals, “I can’t love you too, and I’m grateful that you dragged me back, but I don’t know how long I can keep the Ancient suppressed. We need to go.” 

 Nodding, Korix wiped his face clean, and when he lowered his hands, I could find no trace of the weepy man who’d pulled me out of a submersion into oblivion. 

 “You have a plan?” he asked. 

 With a weak grin, I said, “Of course I do.” 

 Behind Korix, Feena trotted into view. 

 “We barricaded the door as best we could,” she said, “but- Zae!” 

 She dropped to her knees at my side, hovering her hands beside my face for a moment before slapping my shoulder. 

 “Don’t you dare go running off like that again,” she snapped, shoving a finger in my face. “Finding you like that… you scared me to death.” 

 Grimacing, I mouthed, ‘Sorry.’ 

 Feena frowned. 

 “Throat not healed?” she asked. 

 “There was extensive damage done, yeah,” I said in sub-vocals. 

 Wincing, Feena scrambled to her feet, resting her hands on her hips. 

 “Well, you didn’t come to this random-ass part of Cerullis’ headquarters for no reason,” she said. “I assume there’s a plan.” 

 “Yes,” I rasped. 

 And I didn’t cough up a lung. Fabulous. 

 Nodding, Feena glanced over her shoulder. 

 “Leski, get over here,” she shouted. 

 Wait. 

 “You brought an unHoused with you?” I hissed. 

 Predictably, I paid the price for my outburst. 

 “She didn’t give us a choice,” Korix said over my coughing. 

 The discussed woman skipped into view, and when she saw me, her face lit up. 

 “Zae! I told these two you’d be fine,” she said. 

 “You give me too much credit,” I said. 

 At my words, chipper Leski vanished with someone hollow replacing her, and she ran haunted eyes over me. 

 “Don’t’ remind me,” she said. 

 She was using false cheer to cope. Smart. For the short term anyway. 

 “Ok,” I said. “I won’t.” 

 I tried to smirk. I wasn’t sure how well it worked, but Leski’s face brightened again, and clasping her hands together, she bounced on the balls of her feet. 

 “So, what are we doing next?” she asked. “Do we need to wear fancy atmospheric suits like you?” 

 “If you don’t want to be left behind, yes,” I said. 

 Turning to face Feena, Leski narrowed her eyes. 

 “Told you,” she said. 

 Shaking her head, Feena said, “You only said that we needed to put them on before we barricaded the door, and considering how enthusiastically those Cerullis bastards are banging on it right now, I’d say I made the right call by ignoring you.” 

 “And that barricade could fail at any moment,” Korix said. “So, how about you two get a move on?” 

 He was still kneeling beside me, and while the others rushed to figure out how the suits worked, I noted that he’d already donned one, which explained why he’d been so cold earlier. Its hood, however, was flung back, and I had to wonder. Was mine still on, or had it fallen off during… everything? 

 Moving closer, Korix said, “Status, kuvesk?” 

 He wanted to keep my physical state a secret? I could oblige. 

 “Well, I can’t stand by myself,” I said. “So, there’s that.” 

 Without a word, Korix spun into a crouch, flinging my arm over his shoulders. Pulling me upright, he got me to a wall before the others could take notice, and with my back to it, I could stay on my feet. 

 “What else?” Korix asked. “Is the Ancient…?” 

 “Still in my head, yes,” I said. “I’m stretching for memories that will ward it off now, although some always seem to work. There’s one of a mission where our investigative target was conspiring on the balcony below us while we…” 

 Korix’s cheeks turned a faint pink, and he let his eyes drift toward my forehead while I smiled. 

 “And now, there’s this one,” I said. 

 Jerking his gaze down, Korix frowned before shaking his head. 

 “You’re feeling well enough to tease me, so I’m not too concerned about whether you’ll recover, although…” 

 Pausing, he checked whether Leski and Feena were still occupied. 

 “This plan of yours,” he said, “will you survive it?” 

 How could he ask me such a distressing question right now? He had to know how difficult fighting the Ancient off was, even without complications like that. 

 “Maybe,” I said. “It will depend on what happens while on the way.” 

 “On the way where?” 

 Leski bounced toward us with Feena behind her. 

 “To the Source,” I said. “Are you two ready?” 

 In front of me, Korix stiffened, and something like panic invaded him before he could quash it. He knew about the Source? 

 “We are,” Feena said. “What’s a source?” 

 “The Source,” I corrected. “It’s the Ancients’ home.” 

 All of them stared at me as the pounding on the barricaded door grew louder, now with the distinctive sound of energy bolts added to it. 

 “You want to invade the enemy’s stronghold?” Feena squeaked. 

 Wincing, I said, “Something like that. Look. Let’s escape from the House Cerullis members who are clamoring for our heads. We can discuss everything else once we’re clear.” 

 I had absolutely no intention of discussing anything, but I needed to get them away from danger. I’d do what I must to accomplish that goal. 

 “Agreed,” Leski said. 

 She cast a nervous glance at the door. 

 “How do we finish putting these suits on?” 

 “Um…” I helpfully answered. 

 Fumbling for my suit’s hood, I drew it over my head, but it only flopped uselessly in front of my face. Biting my lip, I tapped my fingers on my leg until Korix gently touched my neck. Where the glowing circle was lying. 

 My suit’s hood drew together with a slurp, cutting me off from the world, and in the dark, claustrophobia placed a finger at the base of my spine. When processes popped into view, however, they stopped that sensation’s insidious advance, and after initiating a few, I was looking through the hood’s material like I would when projecting through a wall. 

 I also had a P.I.G.’s typical spheres under my palms. Using them, I briefly boosted into the air, but as my feet hit the ground, I maintained my propulsors’ lift. I might otherwise fall. 

 “All a go,” I said. 

 Rolling their eyes, the others followed my example and just in time too. An energy bolt burst through the door, blackening a shuttle’s side, and while my companions finished getting ready, I tried requesting my rifle. 

 When it settled into my hand despite the metal between it and me, I breathed a sigh of relief. As I’d been donning the suit earlier, I hadn’t set aside any weapons, so if this hadn’t worked, I’d have been essentially unarmed. That didn’t seem wise when heading into the enemy’s heart, and given our situation, I wouldn’t have time to open my suit before House Cerullis members stormed into this room. 

 With everyone’s preparations nearly complete, I opened aviation’s hangar door, relaxing when Xygek and a wide, blue sky greeted me. 

 Ready? I sent to the others. 

 After receiving their acknowledgments, I launched into the free air, marveling at the atmospheric suit’s speed, and left House Cerullis’ headquarters behind.

Chapter 99: How We Soar 1
Once we were a good distance from headquarters, I requested direct connections between my companions and myself, never slowing in my flight, and after they’d been accepted, I didn’t let anyone else speak. 

 “I’m going to the Source,” I said. “Whether you come with me is your decision, although I don’t encourage it. You can, however, say nothing to sway me from this, so save your words for something helpful.” 

 I knew they wouldn’t do as I’d asked, especially not Feena. She’d always been too stubborn, so I wasn’t surprised when she protested. 

 “Storming the enemy’s stronghold isn’t good tactics, Zae,” she said. “We should try something else first.” 

 She, however, didn’t know how thoroughly the last few years had taught me to stick with my convictions. 

 “I know what I’m doing,” I said. 

 And nothing more. They didn’t need to know anything else, and I couldn’t hurt them by sharing more of my plan. 

 “Do you know where it is?” Leski asked. “Maybe if we gave the location to other House Kolb members-” 

 “They won’t be able to help,” I said. “Where I’m going, you need something like these suits, something that only House Cerullis has developed, to survive. I’m assuming Talira didn’t send any high Strata with you when you left her?” 

 They were silent for a moment, which was concerning. 

 “She doesn’t know that we hit Cerullis’ headquarters,” Korix said, “or rather, she didn’t before we went it. She probably does now.” 

 Which meant she didn’t know about what I’d done either. 

 “Mother fucking Time.” 

 I cut the connection with the group before requesting one with my grandmother. I needed the information that I’d asked from her, and if she was withholding it because my sister and partners hadn’t consulted with her before charging in- 

 [ Hello again. ] 

 My projected view of the world went fuzzy, and my twitching fingers dropped my elevation before I could correct, letting my irrational fear of heights make an abrupt reappearance. I couldn’t focus on it or on how high above the ground I was. 

 “Find a distraction, moron.” 

 Such as: Why did the Ancient keep doing this? Why not take me over when it gained a toehold? That was what a rational being would do. 

 Unless my continued success with burying it was a sign that it didn’t have the strength that it needed. Perhaps its brethren wanted to see something beyond failure from it. Perhaps that was why it was delaying. In our situation, the easiest way for it to show strength would be to burn my neural pathways out as slowly as possible. 

 Or maybe it had contracted the disease of emotions, although how that was possible- 

 [ Your speculations are pointless. ] 

 Oh. Oh, no. Not again. Not- 

 “You better have a excellent reason for the shitshow I’m dealing… Zae-zae? What’s wrong?” 

 Hearing Talira’s voice was enough for me to gain control again, and my whine cut off with a cough. 

 “Thank you,” I gasped. 

 I couldn’t elaborate more on what had just happened, though. 

 “Shukusen, I need the reports that I requested, please. Now,” I said. “I’m on my way to handle our problem.” 

 “And how do you plan on doing that?” Talira asks. 

 “I can’t tell you. Thinking about it could push me over,” I said. “You’ll have to trust me.” 

 Mother Time, I wished I had visuals during moments of quiet like this. I couldn’t read Talira without them. 

 “You have one of those asshole Ancients in your head, don’t you?” she asked. “I thought that was what your message meant, but I didn’t want to believe it.” 

 “Sorry to disappoint,” I said. 

 “What happened to giving your idiot evushk and me time?” Talira snapped. 

 I couldn’t get angry with her, couldn’t think about two hundred and forty-six lives lost because of her delay, couldn’t remember The Library. 

 “Circumstances changed,” I said. 

 “What circumstances?” 

 Did she not know about Pheniks? 

 “You know what? It doesn’t matter,” Talira said. “Come home, and we’ll get the Ancient out of your head. Maybe this’ll be a good thing. Having another one of them captured might buy us more time-” 

 “No,” I said. “I have a way to end this disaster, not just prolong it, and I’m going to follow through with my plan. If you want to give me a better chance a surviving, you’ll send me the information that I requested before I’m out of range, but I’m not turning around.” 

 She started arguing with me, but I cut the connection before she could get much out. Cutting a connection with a shukusen. Ha! That had felt much better than I’d thought it would. 

 When I re-established the one with my companions, a cacophony of shouting voices greeted me, and I winced while pain speared through my eyes. Just what I’d needed. 

 “Everyone, hush!” I growled. “You’re making this so much more difficult than it needs to be. You can’t imagine. I’m grateful that you came to save me, but I need you to decide right fucking now if you’re coming with me or not. I can’t… no more arguing.” 

 After a beat of silence, Feena said, “Shit. We really can’t change your mind.” 

 “No, you can’t,” I snapped. 

 A long sigh rattled to me. 

 “Fine,” Feena said. “We should wait for-” 

 “No more waiting!” I shouted. 

 What was this hysterical note in my voice? 

 “I’m done with waiting! I have a plan that will work, and I’m taking it.” 

 They went dead silent with my ragged breathing filling the quiet for a moment. 

 “Kuvesk,” Korix said, “a private word, please?” 

 Without me having to do anything, Leski and Feena dropped from the connection, and I flipped to face the glinting shape that was my  evushk. 

 “What happened?” he asked. “I know you. Physical pain doesn’t cause this cracking that I’m seeing in you.” 

 “You mean what else besides my brother dying?” I snarled. 

 He said nothing to that, and I sighed, wishing I could rub my forehead. 

 “During the negotiations with the Ancient, First Stratus Jayla was killed,” I said. “It was my fault.” 

 “Ah,” Korix said. 

 “Yeah.” 

 Drifting toward me, Korix extended his open palm, and with a broken sob, I laid my hand on it, fighting to keep my trajectory stable. I felt nothing through the suit’s metal, but the same sense of comfort that he’d always imbued in me seeped into my core anyway. 

 “Shall we bring Leski and your sister back in?” Korix asked after a moment. 

 “Probably a good idea.” 

 Once we four were connected again, though, I didn’t know what to say. I should probably apologize for yelling, but I didn’t know how to do it, not on top of my confession to Korix about Jayla. In aviation, guilt had let the Ancient pull me under its control. I didn’t want that to happen again. Still, I had to try. 

 “I-” 

 “Don’t,” Feena said. “We already know what you’ll say, and I shouldn’t have been pushing you, not when you’re so stressed. Leave it there.” 

 I… could accept that. 

 “Ok.” 

 “Now, where are we headed?” Leski asked. 

 “Somewhere near Ibis,” I said. 

 I didn’t have further details yet, merely a lure that was pulling me through my link with the Ancient. 

 “Ibis?” Leski said. “That’s halfway across the world. Why aren’t we using a beacon?” 

 Sometimes, I forgot that she was unHoused. 

 “Do you want to go through a Travel Center, looking like we do right now?” I asked. “How about getting stuck in the Terminal because House Cerullis puts a block on us? Sounds fun, right?” 

 “Super fun,” Leski said. “So, we’re flying there? That’ll take, what? Several hours?” 

 “Depends on how fast these atmospheric suits are, but something like that, yes,” Korix said. 

 “Great!” Leski chirped. “We should tell stories to pass the time. I’d love to learn more about you three.” 

 We, however, were quiet with each of us contemplating the horror of letting another person learn our secrets, even the most mundane of them. This was what House Kolb did to its members. They became paranoid, close-mouthed, twitchy assholes, and I didn’t want that for myself. Plus, if I told stories about the ones I loved, it would keep the Ancient buried. 

 “I have one about Ace,” I said. “I know you love my dog, Leski.” 

 “This is true,” she said in the most solemn of tones. 

 “Well, when he was a puppy, Ace wasn’t nearly as well trained as he is now,” I said, “and he’s cleverer than any dog has a right to be. He’d regularly escape from the house to explore the moors-” 

 “You mean that you lost track of him, and he did as any dog is naturally inclined to do,” Korix interrupted. 

 “Yes… that,” I said, glaring at him. “In any case, Ace got lost once, and I was having the hardest time with finding him. Because Ko wouldn’t help me look-” 

 “Ace is your dog,” Korix said. “You’re supposed to take care of him.” 

 “Because Ko wouldn’t help,” I said over him, “I had to continue searching through the-” 

 “Entertaining as this story already is and would probably continue to be, we should put it on hold,” Feena said. “Contacts up ahead, probably hostile.” 

 Of  course  there were. Nothing in my life could ever be easy. It didn't surprise me that this part, so close to a possible end, might end up causing problems too.

Chapter 100: How We Soar 2
Feena was right. Below us, way to fucking far below us, the Preserve soon gave way to a beach and the sea while islands dotted its cerulean waters further out, and above this, five blotches were peppered across the sky, swaying in place. My array couldn’t make out their details yet, but I knew what they’d be. 

 “Definitely hostiles,” I said. “Probably those modified skycruisers that I saw in Cerullis’ aviation hangar. You saw them too, yes?” 

 “Mm,” Leski said. “How did they reach the coastline before us?” 

 “They didn’t. These were likely deployed from a satellite facility. The other Houses do so love setting those up wherever they can,” Feena said. “So? What’s the play? We could go around them.” 

 “No,” I said with my tone bordering on harsh. 

 When Feena rotated toward me, I winced. 

 “No,” I repeated, gentler this time. “We don’t have time to skirt them, and I can’t-” 

 I wasn’t sure if I could make the trip to Ibis before the Ancient subsumed me again. 

 “Ok. Fight it is,” Feena said. 

 She requested her rifle, cocking her head at our foe. 

 “How do we get through them?” 

 “Whatever we do, Zae can’t be part of the fight,” Korix said. 

 “Why not?” I said. “Yes, the emotions associated with fighting would leave an enormous hole in my defenses against the Ancient, one that  it could exploit, but I’ll have to fight at some point today. Unless you think we can get near the Source without a confrontation when our enemy knows we’re coming.” 

 “So, save your effort for that struggle,” Korix said. “Don’t waste it on something that we can handle without you.” 

 “I can.” 

 Frowning, I glanced at where Feena was gleaming in the sunlight. 

 “I can handle this alone,” she clarified. “Once we’re close, I’ll draw their fire, and you three can swoop under them and get clear. I’ll keep them pinned down." 

 “Feena…” I growled. 

 Before I could continue, Leski said, “You can’t fight five by yourself. Let me or Ko help you.” 

 Ko? She was using his nickname now? When had that happened? 

 “You can’t,” I said. “Kolb doesn’t teach the unHoused how to fight in the air. You’d be more of a hindrance than help here.” 

 Given that, I wasn’t sure how Leski would help us at the Source, but I couldn’t have her, someone who moved and thought only on a horizontal plane, engaging in this clash. Better to delay that for as long as possible. 

 “And you’ll need the Lokke Vitras with you when you reach the Source,” Feena said. “I can handle five scientists who have no clue how to fight.” 

 I didn’t like this idea, but much as I wanted to deny my sister, I knew she was doing this, whether I approved of it or not. I focused on how her act of love warmed me rather than on the terror of whether she’d survive. I couldn’t lose both of my siblings in one day! 

 “Don’t worry, little brother,” Feena said, as if reading my thoughts. “I don’t die here.” 

 “You can’t know that,” I said. 

 “Oh, but I can,” Feena said with a laugh in her voice. 

 “Wha-?” 

 “Zaeden! Pay attention to your surroundings,” Korix said. 

 His mild rebuke, so reminiscent of the thousands that I’d received during my training, had me smiling despite our situation, but that quickly vanished when I saw how close we’d come to those skycruisers’ guns. 

 And my ability to change the plan was ripped away from me. 

 Korix, Feena, and I opened fire on the aircrafts with Leski quickly following our example. Our bolts fizzled out before they got anywhere near the enemy, but they scrambled regardless. A flurry of light raced for us, which I should thank these House Cerullis members for. Their spectacle let my array calculate the distance that I needed to fly before I could make a perfect drop. 

 As we reached that point, I shouted, “Now!”  

 That cue had been mostly for Leski’s benefit, but still, it helped with our coordination. Despite how much my fear screamed for me to do otherwise, I pointed my head toward the waves and let gravity do its work, leveling off a few meters above the water’s surface. The sea sprayed my suit when I put its propulsors into full thrust, and flipping to my back, I jerked to the side as a bolt impacted a wave, turning it to mist. 

 Feena had engaged four of them, leaving a single opponent chasing us, but we could handle those odds. From the delighted laughter filling our connection, one of us might even be enjoying the challenge. 

 “Leski,” I said, “keep coms open, please.” 

 “Right. Sor-!” 

 She yelped as an energy bolt almost vaporized her. 

 While we were still within view of it, I watched my sister’s battle. She was beautiful, a flashing speck amidst vehicles several times larger than her. Weaving and dodging and twirling, she was like an angry wasp. I hoped that she invoked the same enmity in her opponents as those insects usually did in humans. 

 “Good luck, Feena,” I said as she merged with the sky. 

 “And to you,” she absently said. 

 I cut the connection with her, having already been too much of a distraction. 

 Not long afterward, the skycruiser that had been intent on chasing us turned tail, whether due to its distance from its comrades or its inability to hit us, I couldn’t say. 

 And suddenly, we three were racing across the world in an unnatural quiet, the one that always followed a time of so much chaos. I didn’t filter adrenaline from my bloodstream, even though it would have made the buzz buried under my skin more bearable. It was helping with my internal battle. 

 With my heart skipping beats, I gained altitude. I didn’t know if Korix or Leski followed me, but eventually, one of them broke the silence. 

 “You went looking for Ace?” 

 As if the fight had never happened, I resumed my story. 

 “I searched for him through the night, which put me at seventy-two hours without sleep. Not unmanageable but not fun either,” I said. “So, it was just my luck that a mission came in that morning, one that Korix decided would be perfect as my first to tackle solo.” 

 Gasping, Leski said, “He didn’t.” 

 “I did,” Korix said with a chuckle, “although if I’d known exactly how long he’d been without sleep, I’d have told him to get into bed before handling the mission myself.”  

 “If you’d known how long I’d been without sleep?” I said under my breath. “That’s such bullshit. There was so much monitoring during those first few years…” 

 And maybe Korix cut in there. Maybe Leski laughed. At that point, it didn’t really matter to me. I was just happy to be with them. 

 As we crossed the sea, we continued like this, swapping stories to stave off our boredom. We occasionally lapsed into comfortable silence, enjoying one another’s presences, but these didn’t last long, and not once during this time did the Ancient break through my defenses. 

 This and the ease of our relationships since that night atop a tower made me realize what I had here. The three of us had an undeniable energy, and while I didn’t yet know if I loved Leski, I could see myself inviting her to live with us, given Korix’s consent, of course. 

 Hell. Why had I figured that out now? 

 At some point during the trip, I received my requested reports from Talira, along with a message that I couldn’t bring myself to read. Looking over the reports was bad enough. They confirmed what I’d already suspected, which was not what I’d been hoping for. 

 I finished the last of them as Ibis filled out in front of me, and as soon as I closed the last report, I got a message from Korix. I didn’t know how he’d known what I’d been doing—reading body language was impossible in these suits—but still, he’d done so. 

 Will you tell me the plan anytime soon, or will I have to guess it? it read. 

 I considered how to reply. If I bullshitted my way through this, Korix might indulge me, but he’d only do that if he thought it would help me. Besides if I lied to him, it would… 

 I’d hurt him more than I already planned to. 

 So, I wrote, Guess it, Ko? Don’t you already know it? 

 Waiting for his response, I wondered how he was handling everything. He’d been more unstable than normal since Talira and I had pulled him out of stasis. So, after what I planned to do, what would happen to him? Would I be the final shove needed to push him into the state that he’d feared for years? 

 I couldn’t destroy the man I loved, and yet, with what I had planned, I probably would. 

 [ We don’t understand this attachment that you hold for another one of you. Oh, well. You’re not escaping us again, pact-breaker. ] 

 Fuck. “Fuck!” 

 I fell into 

 Flame Fire Burn Ash Choke Cough Pulsing Ache Warmth Grind Fists Pound Warmth Acid Bile Warmth Scour Warmth Warmth 

 “We’re with you, Zae. We’re here.” 

 Ragged gasps rubbed sandpaper along an oozing throat, but I couldn’t stop them. Overexerted muscles trembled with their fibers shredding, but I couldn’t make them fall still. Tears streamed from stinging eyes, but I couldn’t.- 

 “I can’t…” 

 I should find how dead I’d sounded concerning. I should worry that breathing had become difficult, but I just. didn’t. care. 

 I’d thought I could do this. I’d thought that saving Lutov would be worth the price I had to pay, but apparently, I’d found my limit because- 

 “I can’t. No more. Please.” 

 “Yes, you can, Zae.” 

 Sunlight, beaming into my eyes, accompanied the sound of her voice, and when I shifted away from the glare, I found myself trapped between two… people? Somehow, Korix and Leski had sandwiched me mid-air, soaring at ridiculous speeds between Ostiu’s mountains. 

 How had they known which direction to take without me leading the way? 

 More importantly, how were we aloft? I wasn’t directing my suit’s propulsors, making me dead weight. 

 Feebly, I craned my neck, finding Leski above me. With her arms hooked under mine, I couldn’t see much of her, merely a suit that had conformed to traditionally feminine features. Which meant Korix was… where? 

 “Les…” I said, meaning to ask after him. 

 But I couldn’t get anything else out. She peered over my head. 

 “He’s back,” she said. 

 Arms around my waist squeezed me—or tried to—through my suit. 

 “Can you fly on your own?” Korix said. “Maintaining this position it difficult, but I can manage it for a while longer, if needed.” 

 He was under me? 

 Wait. That meant I was lying on him, which meant… 

 I needed to get the fuck up. 

 “I-” 

 Nothing else would emerge from my mouth, so I nodded, and gradually, Korix moved away from me. In a stable float, I hovered for a moment, writing a message while I gathered myself. 

 Ko… I can’t do that again. 

 My body refused to move until I received my response. 

 So don’t, it read. 

 “Shall we?” Korix asked. 

 Hell, how did he always know what to say? I couldn’t dwell on what might happen. I must focus only on the present, and this moment required me to move. So, I did, blazing over the remaining distance to the enemy’s home.

Chapter 101: Fighting Ancients
Ostiu had fallen behind us a while ago, and with us once more over the sea, we were flying between the arms of Ibis’ crescent. Somewhere over these waters, we’d find the Source. 

 Unfortunately, I wasn’t sure where it was. The more I’d fought to suppress the Ancient, the more its tug on me had gotten muddled, leading first west and then back the way we’d come. 

 Fortunately, we had one saving grace. Since I’d woken up from the Ancient’s last torture fest, Korix had been on-and-off correcting our course. 

 I was tempted to tell him that he should stop coddling my feelings. He could take the lead if he wanted, but it was better if I let him have this. If he’d felt the need to take over, he’d have said something by now, and I was too tired to deal with the consequences of bringing it up now. 

 My last stint with the Ancient had taken something vital from me, something that was steadily replenishing, but for now, I was stuck in my lethargy. Even my thoughts were sluggish in my head. 

 “Zae?” Leski quietly asked. 

 Internally sighing, I said, “Yes?” 

 “Is this…?” 

 I waited for her to gather the courage to speak, examining a mass of clouds on the horizon with a cocked head. Bad weather? Could these suits withstand a storm, or would we need to circle around it? 

 “Is that we’ve done today—the running and fighting and… worry—what being a Kolb member is like?” Leski asked. 

 Once again, the ugly desire to acquire a talented person for Kolb raised its head, but it was predictably followed by revulsion. Not only was my hatred for the Houses as strong as ever, but I also had to contend with my resolution about Leski from weeks ago. So, I answered her question as honestly as I could. 

 “Sometimes. I’ve never been in a situation as intense as this, but others have been almost as bad,” I said. “Kolb’s purpose is to maintain the peace in Lutov. At times, that means boring stakeouts, watching innocent targets. Others, it involves pitched battles with iisen who will use every drop of their magic to try escaping. Always, it involves shielding the innocent, no matter how deeply the effort of doing that might scar the spark of your soul. Always, it means danger, although most Kolb members don’t risk their lives as much as Korix and I do. Does that answer your question?” 

 She was quiet for a moment, giving me time to push consideration of the clouds to the forefront again. Were they supposed to be moving like that? 

 “It does,” Leski said. “Thank you.” 

 “You’re most welcome,” I said. “Ko, are you seeing a strange pattern of movement up ahead?” 

 “Ancients,” was all he said. 

 He’d sounded distracted, which was only a little terrifying. 

 “Their vanguard?” I asked. 

 “Probably.” 

 Which meant that the gigantic mass of clouds floating behind those wisps was most likely the Source. 

 “All right, then.” 

 Requesting my rifle, I ran my eyes over the smaller clouds. They looked nothing like my Ancient, but when I’d seen it in Alezand’s office, it had been alone. These looked like typical cumulus clouds, if with a soap bubble sheen, and bits of electricity were sparking in them. 

 Watching the clouds, I counted… a lot of those flashes. Even my array was struggling at guessing their number, and the sea below them was shadowed, much like it would be during a storm. No rain was falling, though. 

 The Source itself was too far away to make out more than a ball of fluff, but if I let myself think about its probable size, my heart started unevenly beating. 

 Hefting my rifle, I winced. I didn’t know what this would do to the Ancients. Probably nothing. But going into a fight with only my reflexes and speed, as I would shortly do, made me want to squirm. I’d take advantage of a crutch like my rifle. 

 “Strategy?” Korix asked. 

 “Head straight for the Source,” I said. “Avoid any Ancients that get in our way.” 

 Hopefully, Leski could handle a dodging chase. Something like that wouldn’t require her to split her focus between avoiding hostiles and shooting at them. 

 “Simple. I like it,” she said with her voice shaking. “And once we’re there?” 

 “Let’s worry about that after we get through these bastards,” I said. 

 Said bastards had almost closed the distance to us, and in their mass, I spotted ripples of motion, much like worms writhing beneath a person’s skin. 

 “Leski keep the connection clear when possible, but call out if you need something,” I said. “Understood?” 

 “Understood,” Leski said. 

 “Ko-” 

 “I know,” he interrupted. 

 Good. Leski would have someone watching her back. Mother Time knew that I wouldn’t be able to. I’d have enough trouble with keeping love in my heart while fighting for my life. 

 “Then, lets go.” 

 At full thrust, I darted forward, aiming to arch over my enemy, but as I approached it, one of the cumulus clouds exploded into hundreds of streaming strands—the Ancients separating—and as observed in Alezand’s office, they were fucking fast. Easily keeping up with my speed, they angled to intercept me, matching my every change in course. 

 When I could, I shot at them, but as expected, my energy bolts had no effect. Those that connected dissipated on the shiny shell inside their wispy exterior, so I threw my rifle aside, and before the first Ancient could hit me, I twisted, rising while I did so. It disappeared beneath me, but the one behind it impacted my suit. 

 For a moment, I thought nothing had happened. I thought that we could continue to the Source with the Ancients harmlessly slipping off of our suits, but nothing was ever that easy. 

 An alert popped into my array, telling me something about the suit’s reserves, but before I could finish scanning it, liquid metal spit down the front of me. I slapped the circle that would seal the suit shut again, but not before ripping wind tore its hood off of my head. 

 Now, I was far above the world’s surface, which was just fabulous , and while my propulsors kept me from plummeting into a deadly fall, the cold that one could only find this high in the atmosphere walloped me, stealing my breath. This was a problem because with how little oxygen was around me, I couldn’t fill my lungs back up. 

 Heaving at the air, I fumbled for my hood, uncaring of how the Ancients were brushing against my suit and skin. My teeth were chattering by the time I got it back on, and I gulped down air after it had sealed. 

 “They can mess with tech,” I gasped. “Guard your reserves and suit triggers.” 

 “Like we needed more problems,” Korix said. 

 Chuckling, I rolled around an Ancient, reversing that movement when another took its place. I didn’t know why they hadn’t come at us in a stream instead of leaving us gaps as they were, but I thanked Mother Time that they hadn’t thought to try it yet. If they had, we wouldn’t have stood a chance. 

 Every time, I darted around an Ancient, I thought about my partners, all the times I’d made Korix smile or put a frustrated look on Leski’s face. It helped, but the enemy inside of me still found moments of weakness to surface in, and the flashes of its torment slowed my attempts to avoid its brethren. After one such appearance, I was left trembling, barely diving beneath an oncoming Ancient. I didn’t know how long I- 

 “My reserves are running low,” Leski said, calm and cool. 

 Korix and I stumbled over one another in our responses. 

 “How low?”  

 “Can you reach shore?” 

 “I think… I can get back,” Leski said. “But-” 

 “We’re withdrawing,” I said. “Once you’ve broken free, meet here.” 

 I sent coordinates to my partners before undoing the progress that I’d made through the enemy’s ranks. It wasn’t much, maybe a kilometer at most, and until I found free air, I didn’t consider what our slow progress meant or how impossible our task was. 

 Surprisingly, the Ancients didn’t chase us. Given their speed, they could have harassed us for as long as they’d wanted, but after a good three minutes of doing that, they stopped dead, coalescing into a cloud once more. 

 With the sun glinting off of their suits, Leski and Korix reached the rendezvous point before me, facing me as I slowed to a stable hover. 

 “That was fun,” I grumbled. 

 “I liked it,” Leski said, “and it returned some life to you, for which I’m grateful.” 

 Rolling my eyes, I said, “Why are you still here? If your reserves are running low, you should find a place to land.” 

 “But you said-!” 

 Leski clicked her tongue. 

 “What if you need my help?” 

 “Right now, the greatest help you can give me is peace of mind, knowing that you’re safe,” I said. “I’m sure Ko would agree.” 

 “I do,” he obligingly said. 

 Fortunately, Leski didn’t argue with us. 

 “I’ll hurry your backup along, then,” she said. 

 What backup? While on the way here, I hadn’t requested anything like that from Kolb, and I doubted Talira would have sent the high Strata after us. They couldn’t do much without these suits—least of all catch up with us—and my grandmother wasn’t one to waste resources. 

 “Don’t die, you two,” Leski continued. “Ok?” 

 “No promises,” I said. 

 “Good enough for me.” 

 Leski took off toward the closest patch of land with Korix and I watching her go. 

 After a moment, he said, “Didn’t feel like telling her about the emergency reserves in these suits’ backpacks?” 

 “If she didn’t use her array to check her pack for tech before now, then why should I correct her mistake?” I said. “Besides, what would be the point?” 

 Korix didn’t have an answer for me. 

 “Will you send me away as well?” he asked instead. 

 Turning to him, I said, “Could I?” 

 He snorted, which made me laugh, and relatively certain that Leski wouldn’t make an unexpected return, we faced our current conundrum. 

 Examining those wispy clouds, I said, “Do you think they have to stay within a certain range of their home?” 

 “Maybe. It would explain why they’ve stopped chasing us,” Korix said, “but if that’s the case, how did they infest Lutov?” 

 “Perhaps a select few can separate from the rest.” 

 It was a weak explanation, but I couldn’t think of another one to explain what was happening right now. 

 “Mm. It doesn’t matter much, though, does it? Let’s operate under the assumption that they can’t get any closer to us than they are now,” Korix said. “How does that help us?” 

 “Circle the perimeter,” I said. “Find a less well-defended breach point.” 

 Such a plan might be basic, but it should work. 

 “That’s what I was thinking,” Korix said. 

 Smiling, I said, “Then, let’s do it.” 

 Korix gestured toward our enemy. 

 “After you.” 

 As we circled a far-distant Source, I half-expected the smaller clouds around it to follow us, keeping an eye on their enemy even if we were beyond their reach, but they didn’t do that, just drifting like clouds normally would. When we found a spot without Ancients guarding it, we moved forward, and with us once more in their territory, I was sure they’d swarm us. They, however, never moved. 

 What were they thinking? Were we not a danger to them? And why was I trying to understand the logic that drove such inhuman beings? 

 Most importantly, though, could we reach the Source without a fight this time? I didn’t dare speak those words aloud. I’d seen circumstances reverse after a speculation like that too many times to tempt it now. 

 As we came closer, details about the Source became clearer. It was, as one would expect, a cloud, but it was huge, large enough to engulf Xygek, and yet, no rain fell from it. With that size and the weight behind it, its ice crystals should be returning to water, but there it spun, a distinctly solid sphere with scythes radiating from its base. 

 Lightning crackled inside of it, but even with that, it wasn’t darkened in color like a thundercloud would be. The setting sun painted pinks and oranges across its billowing surface, and a gauzy water funnel, rising from the sea, cast a rainbow beneath its scythes. 

 “It’s beautiful,” I murmured. 

 “Admire the enemy later,” Korix said. “Bypass its scouts first.” 

 As he’d said, a baby cloud, even smaller than the first one we’d encountered, had come to defend its parent. It dissolved into its resulting horde, and I was returned to a frantic display of acrobatics. 

 This time, however, their typically undulating bodies had turned jittery, soon ending in a frantic halt, and through my link with my Ancient, I flinched from the repelling energy that the Source was exuding. The force of it was strong enough that I wondered whether that massive cloud was trying to push me away, getting its scouts caught up in the energy instead. If that was the plan, did that mean the Source knew my purpose? Did that make it somewhat sentient? 

 Shaking off the idea, I converged with Korix. He took my hand, and we faced this marvel, the place where the Ancients were born, their Source in every sense of the word. 

 And I was here to destroy it.

Chapter 102: Arguing Semantics
“Should I do this?” I asked. 

 Korix would know what I meant, just like he’d known my plan since I’d shared where I was going, and since the Ancients had been weirdly kind enough to stop attacking us for the moment, I needed to speak these thoughts out loud. I needed… I wasn’t sure what I needed, but I couldn’t move forward without it. 

 “Why wouldn’t you?” he asked. 

 “Look at that!” 

 I flung a hand toward the Source. 

 “It’s quite possibly the most wondrous thing I’ve seen in my life,” I said, “and if I destroy it, I’ll be finishing what our people started with our production facilities in the Eastern Reaches. How has their effect on the atmosphere harmed what we’re looking at? I will kill it, thereby murdering an entire species, Ko. Why would I do something like that? And don’t give me that ‘duty of the Lokke Vitras’ bullshit. I want a real answer.” 

 “You want to get into philosophy now?” Korix asked. 

 “I want to know that this is necessary,” I say. “I don’t want to throw my life away for no reason.” 

 If my revelation of intent surprised Korix, he didn’t show it. 

 “What would happen if we went home now? You’d either die at the hand of your Ancient, or we’d pull it out of you, capturing it,” he said. “Either way, Cerullis would continue with their plan. Shukusen Alezand won’t care if we’ve eliminated the immediate threat. He’ll only tell his people to stand down if we give him proof that no Ancients will never return to vex him, and we couldn’t easily remove him from his position. The other Houses wouldn’t allow it, not quickly enough at least. They’d go to war with Kolb to keep it from happening. 

 “So, their plan would likely continue, and yes, it may require an Ancient for total success, but with the firepower that Cerullis has in their possession, its members would still cause a horrible amount of damage. People would still die. The only way to stop Cerullis from enacting their plan is to get the Ancients to leave us alone, and that won’t happen. With their ability to reproduce failing, they’re desperate. 

 “I’ve seen this place through the Ancients’ eyes, the way it was millennia ago. It’s why Ibis looks like a crescent in the first place! The landmass’ arms once embraced it. Given all of this, the Source won’t exist within another few centuries. 

 “And yes, this steady reduction of their home may be Lutov’s fault. Yes, we should make recompense for it, but by becoming incubators for them? You’ve experienced what having an Ancient inside your head is like. Can you imagine having one of their children grow to maturity in there? That’s what they want to impose on our population, and no matter how much we’ve wronged them, we don’t deserve so horrible a fate. 

 “But the Ancients refuse to look at other options, refusing to even discuss it. We’ve made multiple attempts to work through this problem with them. You have no idea how many times I tried to reason with them while I was under their influence, and when we… fought, you made an attempt as well. Every time, we’ve been rebuffed. 

 “So, why should we do this, Zae? To protect our people from a hostile species that’s intent on enslaving us in the worst way possible. Unless you think that we should just let them erase us.” 

 Hearing the reasoning that I’d requested from Korix, methodical and logical as he always was, I could accept it, no matter how much it tore at me, but despite how much I’d like to focus on that, something else had caught my attention. 

 “We?” I asked. 

 “Yes, Zae. We,” Korix said with a huff. “You figured out that hurting one of them hurts all of them, right? With the links we hold in our minds, we have a viable way of doing that. By removing ourselves from the picture, therefore snuffing those links out, we’ll greatly damage the ones on the other end of them. And I’m guessing you also know that the resulting flicker in them becomes more violent when that hurt originates closer to their Source. What do you think would happen if the number of them who stutter increases too?” 

 Keeping my mouth firmly shut, I glared at Korix. I didn’t like the conclusions that he was drawing and certainly wouldn’t validate them. He didn’t seem to care if I did, though. 

 “Have you seen the war with those from beyond the stars through your link yet?” he asked. 

 “No,” I grudgingly said, “only mentions of it. Enough to concoct this plan.” 

 Nodding, Korix said, “To be expected. I didn’t get a glimpse of it until a few years under an Ancient’s influence, but what I saw… 

 “During the war, one of the last-ditch efforts that those from beyond the stars made for victory was to kill hundreds of the Favored as close to the Source as they could get them. Their loss and the resulting harm to the Ancients almost led to an alien victory. It’s one reason that they’ve been so slow to collect on their end of the Ancients Pact. 

 “Now, I doubt the deaths of two Favored would typically be more than a bee sting to them, but I agree with your reasoning. If we first fly to the exact center of the Source before snuffing our links and the Ancients connected to us, the stutter that it induces should radiate outward in a devastating sweep, our own cascade if you will. It will probably turn this wonder into the most forceful deluge of rain that our world’s ever seen, and like the Ancients, I’m not sure if it or they could reform from such a collapse. 

 “Even if your plan doesn’t work, though, it should leave the Ancients recovering for a long while. That will give our people time to devise an alternate solution, although I doubt they’ll take advantage of the chance we’ll give them. But you shouldn’t listen to my pessimism. Does what I’ve outlined cover your plan?” 

 He knew me too well, but why shouldn’t he? For a third of my life, he’d been my teacher. 

 “You’ve summed it up nicely,” I said, “but you haven’t said anything to convince me of your plan. Why should more than one of us enter the Source?” 

 While Korix decided how to reply, I cast a nervous glance at the nearby Ancients. When would the Source realize that its attempts to repulse us weren’t working? Any second now, we could get swarmed, but neither I nor Korix could move, too caught in our argument. It was pathetic, especially when considering who we were. 

 “You’re planning to kill yourself,” Korix said. 

 I flinched. Sure, just come right out and say it. 

 Apparently, my microscopic reaction was enough of an answer for Korix. 

 “I don’t want to learn what will happen to me after you’ve died,” he said. “I wouldn’t recover from it.” 

 “And I don’t want to die knowing that you won’t try to live,” I said. “You should be happy again. I know you could be-” 

 “ZAEDEN.” 

 I shut my mouth, struck dumb by Korix’s intensity. 

 “Statistically, the odds of surviving as the Lokke Vitras, whether until your shukusen retires or you finish training your kuvesk, are one in a hundred,” he said. “Ninety-four percent of the time, death unexpectedly comes for you, usually within the first few decades of your service. Over the millennia, only five percent of the Lokke Vitras have chosen when they’ll die. We are part of those lucky few. I’m choosing this, Zae. Would you deny me that?” 

 I hated him. I loved Korix, but right now, I wanted to kill him. 

 “So, you’re ready to join the Collective?” I snarled. “I thought your greatest wish was to stop existing after you die. You don’t want to meet the people you’ve killed, right?” 

 “That was me hundreds of years ago,” Korix quietly said. “I’m ready to face them now, but only if you’re waiting in the Collective for me.” 

 As I sucked cold air in, it made my teeth ache. That had to be the most romantic, bittersweet, and utterly idiotic thing that Korix had ever said to me. 

 “I wanted to spend my life with you,” I blurt. 

 I didn’t know where this was coming from or why I was saying it now, when I couldn’t do that over the last few days, but hell if I’d stop talking with the first words already spoken. 

 “I’d still see other people. That’s never going away, but you would be home. You would be who I turned to with my problems and my joy, and making you happy would always be one of my top priorities,” I said. “I wanted you to… I wanted us to be life partners, Ko.” 

 Not spouses. I didn’t think either of us wanted or needed our relationship validated by Lutov’s legal system, but I’d wanted to make a commitment. I’d wanted a promise that we’d hold tight to one another, fighting through our relationship’s difficulties, for our lifetimes. 

 That wouldn’t happen now. I’d do what I must to save Lutov, but I wouldn’t let him follow my example. 

 “Life partners,” Korix said, as if to himself. “If that’s what you want, then why won’t you let me be one for you? Let me support you as a life partner should.” 

 Did that mean he’d have said yes? I opened my mouth to ask when a request for a direct connection flashed into my array. 

 Who on earth could have sent this? Without a communicator to strengthen a connection, we were far out of range for one to establish, whether the person who’d requested it was in Ibis or Lutov. Mildly curious, I accepted the request, intending to cut the connection as soon as I’d solved the misery, but the voice on the other end froze me solid. 

 “You gigantic morons! Why the hell are you just floating there? Here, catch!”

Chapter 103: We Die Here, Right?
The strangest aircraft I’d ever seen slowed to a stop beside me with only a faint whir coming from its engines, which explained how it had snuck up on me. It looked like the fighter planes that had been used during the war with those from beyond the stars, but thousands of short tubes were sticking from its surfaces as well. I wasn’t sure what purpose those served, as they’d only hinder airflow around the craft, but questions about that hardly mattered at the moment. Not when I’d been whacked over the head and infused with adrenaline at the same time. 

 The cockpit popped open, and the pilot peeled straps off of his body before awkwardly standing, holding two unrecognizable rifles toward us. The helmet and his suit concealed his features, but that was ok. I knew his voice. 

 “Phen,” I faintly said. 

 My brother tossed me a rifle and a few magazines, and when making my catch, I almost fumbled both items, held captive by the need to gape at him. 

 “Leski’s not happy with you,” he said. “When I ran into her, I told her about her emergency reserves. She should be right behind me.” 

 Why was he talking nonsense? 

 I couldn’t race to my brother and hold him to me—protect him—like I wanted, not with how far we were above the sea, so I settled for what I could have. 

 “You- Mother Time, you-” 

 If only I could get my tongue to work. 

 Turning to Korix, Pheniks asked, “Is he ok? He’s not making any sense.” 

 “How are you alive?” I gasped. “The barrier failed. A pillar fell on you. I… I thought you were dead!” 

 “I’m… Zae, what are you talking about?” Pheniks said. “None of that debris landed on me, although some came close. I made it into The Library’s pocket dimension before things got too flooded and used one of the strange arches in it to get out. You remember? The one I used was part of the clump near the books about the pre-Founding nations. The one that led to Asher Cerullis’ lab and its hangar? Or… wait. Did you get my message about that? I thought for sure…” 

 When I didn’t reply, too busy flapping my mouth, he tilted his head to the side. 

 “Did Feena not tell you about this?” he asked. “She was supposed to.” 

 “Well, she didn’t,” I growled. 

 Oh, I was going to smack her silly… or I would if I had a chance of seeing her again. 

 “She tried to share this with you. You didn’t give her a chance, though,” Korix said. “In too much of a rush to get here, if I’m remembering it correctly.” 

 Whirling on him, I barely stopped myself from shaking him. 

 “You knew too?” I shouted. “Why didn’t you say something? You let me think my little brother was dead!” 

 “Upsetting your emotional balance seemed unwise, given-” 

 [ -away from our Source! We will obliterate you all! ] 

 Everything turned white for the longest moment of my life, and when I came to again, Leski had joined us, shouting at me based on how much her suit was shaking. 

 “Given that,” Korix softly said. 

 So, he’d been hoping to keep me away from the Ancient’s abuse. That was quite possibly the only acceptable reason that he could have given for concealing something this significant from me. 

 “Is he ok?” Pheniks said. “He doesn’t sound ok. He sounds the opposite of ok. He sounds like when we were kids and-” 

 Damn, I’d never heard my brother so anxious before. 

 My brother. Alive. Somewhere deep inside, I was manically giggling, for more reason than one. 

 “I’m fine. Ecstatic to see you, Phen,” I said, “but I need to-” 

 “Yes, yes. The Lokke Vitras sent me a message about your suicidal bullshit of a plan, so I asked him to delay you for a bit. Thanks for that by the way.” 

 Inclining his head to Pheniks, Korix said, “It was no trouble. Zaeden seemed intent on delaying himself, so I didn’t need to put much effort into it.” 

 He’d been… delaying me? We hadn’t just been uselessly floating here? Well, I suppose I had but still… 

 “Your plan is typical for you: brilliant and utterly self-sacrificing,” Pheniks continued. “I have a better one, a plan where none of us die.” 

 I could go home today? Go home, have a life, be with Korix, be with Leski, be with everyone I loved? 

 “And what’s your plan?” I asked. 

 Pheniks dropped into his aircraft’s cockpit before closing it. 

 “Let’s just say that Asher Cerullis was much more brilliant than our history gives him credit for,” he said. “I’ll use one of his inventions to solve this problem while you use another to watch my back. From what I understand, those rifles should disperse any Ancients that come to challenge you, but I’m not sure about that. I didn’t get the chance to test them because someone didn’t come to help me today.” 

 “O-ok.” 

 Distracted by my internal fight with the Ancient, reeling from my brother’s survival, stunned by the possibility that I might live to see tomorrow, I thought the fact that my head was whirling so badly was perfectly understandable. 

 “Maybe we should loop Leski in on this?” Korix said. 

 Right. 

 Leski was still shouting when she accepted my request for a connection. 

 “-idiotic assholes. I swear to Mother Time, I’ll-” 

 “Leski!” I yelled over her. “You can thoroughly berate us later. Let’s save Lutov first.” 

 She cut off with a hiss before calmly continuing. 

 “It is not ok to send me away like you did, and we will be having a talk about that, but you’re right, Lutov comes first.” 

 Grinning, I nudged Korix. 

 “Sacrifice self.” 

 With amusement, he said, “House before family.” 

 “Lutov over all.” 

 We burst into laughter, and while I wasn’t sure why Korix was bent double on himself, I found hilarity in how thoroughly I’d integrated two-thirds of this maxim into my life. The one part that I opposed with my whole being was the one that most Lutovish knew. 

 A loud sigh filled the connection. 

 “If you two are quite done with you incomprehensible Kolb humor, I’d appreciate it if you’d help the only unHoused among us, please,” Pheniks said. “Go do what you do best. I need to get started.” 

 “Technically, Phen, I also haven’t joined a House yet,” I said on his words’ heels. 

 The glare he was probably leveling at me was physically palpable. 

 “I’m going to kill you when this is over,” he said in deadpan. 

 His aircraft zipped forward with the Source quickly enveloping it, and even encumbered by laughter as I was, I noted that the bunched Ancients, once waiting on an invisible line, had surged forward. Apparently, they’d finally realized that their home’s defenses wouldn’t hold us back. 

 I should probably handle that. 

 Raising Asher’s rifle, I inspected it, making a face at how antiquated it appeared. Pity I didn’t have any specs on it. 

 “We should spread out,” Leski said. 

 For a split second, she got a drop of my full attention, considering I’d been about to say the same thing. Mother Time, she amazed me. 

 “Preferably before they reach us?” she continued. 

 Yes, that would be wise. 

 Without discussing it, we dispersed. As I shot to the right, Korix maintained the center, and Leski headed to the left. I didn’t know how long we’d be able to hold off the Ancients with such a spread-thin line, but we had to try. 

 I took a few experimental shots at the cloud swarming toward me. My array picked up partial details from each of these rounds, soon informing me that the rifle’s projectiles were similar to old-fashioned bullets. The only difference in their appearance came in their clear exterior, coating a blinking pellet. They dropped off more quickly than I’d like, starting their descent at around three hundred meters from me, but their arch into the sea was much less steep than what I’d expect from a gunpowder bullet. 

 Please, say that Pheniks was right and these would kill an Ancient. I didn’t see how they could, given how quick the enemy was, but… I trusted my brother. I’d get him the time that he needed for his end of the plan. 

 The first Ancient came into view, and it might be fast, quick enough to dodge many of my initial shots, but one eventually connected with it at center mass. With other targets waiting for my attention, I didn’t have long to watch what happened to it, but as more of them fell to my bullets, I gained a clear picture of what Aser’s rifle did to the enemy. 

 When a bullet hit an Ancient’s body, the glimmer that coated its foggy shell broke apart while a hole expanded from the impact site, and wherever its phospholipid bilayer dissolved, bits of its surface drifted away. Without that shell to protect it, the lightning tendril in its center bolted into free air, quickly traveling out of sight. 

 But that wasn’t what gave me hope that we might have a chance. Each bullet dissipated the Ancient that it hit, yes, but after the initial impact, the bullet also exploded, spraying the rest of its liquid in a wide radius. 

 With a sheen that reflected the sun, that liquid didn’t act like water or any other fluid should, though. At the bullet’s explosion, the Ancients around their fallen fellow scattered, but the liquid followed those inhuman bastards. It still obeyed the law of gravity, if at a slower rate than it should, and had a limited range before it returned to a standard fluid state, but because it hovered like that, landing a shot on one enemy led to a good handful more dissipating as well. 

 And then, there was what happened when an Ancient’s tendril of lightning encountered its outer shell. Rather than escaping into free air, this led to the core fizzling out. 

 We could kill the enemy. 

 Unfortunately, when each of those tendrils was extinguished, it also made something deep in my center release a silent scream. 

 “You’re free to leave me whenever you like, asshole,” I said. “What more can you do in my head? Better to join your people in their fight against us.” 

 It didn’t respond, leaving me free to focus. 

 It was a relatively anti-climactic battle, all told. They had the numbers, but we had better weapons and far superior skill. After my first few successes, hitting an enemy took about two bullets, and I blessed the many, once-cursed hours where Korix had made me practice my rifle accuracy past what I’d thought was necessary. 

 He was performing similarly, of course, but Leski surprised me. She might need more bullets per target, but she instinctively aimed for positions in the swarm that had them swaying between an advance and a retreat. 

 Holy hell, if she chose any House but Kolb at her House naming, they’d be missing out on a damn fine operative. 

 Even with our advantages, however, three people could only impede a swarm for so long before our bullets started running dry and they realized that they could overwhelm us. When they scurried away, conglomerating into a clump, I cursed under my breath. 

 “Phen, how much longer?” I snapped. 

 “I don’t know. Maybe three minutes?” 

 He’d sounded distracted. 

 “Navigating through this stuff is difficult, although this relic’s ready to release its payload whenever I say.” 

 I’d always found it funny which of Kolb’s terminology had stuck with my brother over the years. 

 “You have one minute,” I said. “Then, we-ngh!” 

 Steam and lightning poured out of my nose and mouth, seeping through every microscopic hole in my suit, and a hook in me was yanked free. Despite how little good it did me, I slapped my hand to a dully throbbing head, sniffing stickiness back where it belonged. 

 My Ancient, the one that had been tormenting me, swirled into being. 

 [ Stop this! Why would you harm us? What wrong have we committed against you? ] 

 What… wrong…? 

 “You seize control of people, people who are already hurting, and under your influence, they do things that will haunt them for the rest of their lives,” I said. “When they don’t conform to your will, you murder people. You’ve tortured me for half a day. You intend to turn millions of people into empty husks for your offspring to manipulate, and you ask what wrong you’ve committed?” 

 The Ancient’s cloud layer brushed against my suit while its lightning core filled my vision. 

 [ This is… anger, yes? We’re learning these strange emotions, but… it doesn’t matter. Why are the items that you have listed crimes? They seemed like a proper form of payment for our long-held pact, especially after your people refused to honor it. ] 

 “Proper-” 

 I sputtered to a stop before taking a deep breath. 

 “Let’s not discuss payment. We should talk about this pact,” I said. “The one you mentioned is the Ancients Pact, yes? You drove those from beyond the stars away in exchange for an unnamed favor. Tell me. Why should we honor this deal?” 

 [ Because… it is a pact. You agreed- ] 

 “But we didn’t,” I interrupted. “The people who made this agreement with you are long dead, and we who have taken their place weren’t given a chance to approve of it. If we’d lived during our ancient war, we might have chosen to fight our enemy alone rather than accept your deal.” 

 The Ancient’s form eddied and swirled as it considered what I had said, probably consulting with the Source as well. When I could, I checked my surroundings, noting the enemy massed for an attack, but that imposing group had yet to move. Both Leski and Korix were turned toward me, listening to my half of the conversation, and hoping to keep them calm, I wiggled my fingers at them, unsure if they’d see it. 

 [ What do you propose we do? ] 

 Jerking my attention back to the Ancient, I cocked my head, narrowing my eyes. It was asking for my opinion? 

 “Make a new pact,” I said. “You leave Lutov alone for now, and we work together on solutions for your problem. We revisit the issue every hundred years until both parties are satisfied. Sound fair?” 

 Hell. If those few words were enough to end this conflict, I’d be ecstatic beyond words. I know, however, that in situations like this, reasoning alone usually didn’t work. 

 As expected, the Ancient drew away from me while its voice turned caustic. 

 [ Make a new pact. With you. A pact-breaker. ] 

 That was what I’d thought. Even still, I tried again. 

 “Yes, I broke my promise to you, but I did so because I saw a way to save my people, one that only I could fulfill,” I said. “Stupid?  Probably, but it’s what I did, and it’s in the past. I know you’ve been in a similar situation before, and you did the same thing, breaking from the majority as a result. I saw it. Besides, surely you’ve seen enough of my history to know that behavior like that is atypical for me, and this pact wouldn’t be made between you and me but between your people and-” 

 [ A pact-breaker is a pact-breaker. There is no greater crime, no excuse for it, and from what we have observed of your people, you are a prime example of them. We find it better to risk what you might do to us than trust that you will honor your word. The plan in your land will continue. ] 

 Shit. 

 “Zae…” Leski said. 

 The massed Ancients began moving, and with House Kolb speed, I raised my rifle to aim at the one in front of me. After squeezing the trigger, I watched the being’s dissolution with a sick feeling in the pit of my gut, but even still, I flew with all speed to regroup with Korix and Leski. 

 I wouldn’t make it in time. We’d be separated when the attack came with our strength—us—unable to face the enemy, and watching the Ancients descend on us, the sight of so much sparking electricity squeezed my throat closed. 

 “Phen, please tell me-” I forced through it.  

 A swirling mass of fog, spark, and membrane pulled to a halt, trembling in place, and seeing that, I spun toward the Source. Its slow rotation had stopped with it density lessening at an alarming rate, and beneath it, the water funnel that had once stretched toward it had reversed and expanded. 

 Bit by bit, the Source wept into the sea until it reached critical mass, and the totality of its remnants was dumped into the waves. As they swept for Ibis’ shore, they quickly rose, and I winced at the image of a soon-to-come tidal wave that splashed into my mind. No towns lay on Ibis’ west coast, but still, the destruction that we’d unleased shriveled any joy I might have felt at our seeming victory. 

 Two other factors sapped my satisfaction, one being what I’d earlier discussed with Korix. When I glanced behind me, I no longer saw a cloud of Ancients. Instead, fizzling electricity scattered toward the horizon, which meant that we had, in essence, committed genocide. 

 Maybe we’d been right to do so. Maybe not. The question would haunt me for the rest of my life, but in this moment, it caused such a swell of self-loathing that I might have curled into a non-responsive ball if not for the second detractor to my happiness. 

 I couldn’t find Pheniks. He’d said that his plan would leave us alive, but what if something had gone wrong? What if I’d gained my brother, only to lose him again? 

 Something glinted overhead, and when I glanced toward it, Pheniks’ aircraft swooped by with him laughing over our connection. 

 “Race you!” he called. 

 He was fine. 

 Taking a deep breath for the first time since the Source had failed, I clicked my tongue before chasing my brother.

Chapter 104: You and Me
I easily caught up with Pheniks, but when I pulled alongside his aircraft, I slowed down, peering into the cockpit. When he spotted me, Pheniks animatedly waved, and I frowned. 

 “You seem unusually chipper, considering what we just did,” I said.  

 “What, disrupting the Source?” Pheniks said. “I’m not too worried about it. When it eventually reforms, the Ancients will be pissed with us, but by then, we should have a solution to their problems, one that will make everyone happy. For a start, you and I will have to prod our shukusenth into pushing for more environmentally friendly production methods than what we currently have, but that should be easy enough to do.” 

 Oo, my much-abused brain was having a harder time than normal with processing Pheniks’ way of talking. 

 “Hang on,” I said. “We didn’t kill off the Ancients?” 

 Pheniks snapped his head to me, and even with the cockpit’s glass and his helmet blocking them, I could see his widened eyes. 

 “What? Of course not!” he said. “They’ll just be scattered across the world for a while. Do you think I’d have tried this if there was the slightest chance of eliminating such fascinating creatures?” 

 I didn’t know why I trusted my brother’s surety about this over the uncertainty of beings who’d existed since the dawn of time, but I did. 

 I did! Pheniks had an unhealthy fascination with puzzles like the Ancients, and terrible as it was, I knew he’d have let Lutov fall before giving up an obsession like this. 

 “Oh, thank Mother Time.” 

 Huddling on myself, I unintentionally stopped my forward thrust, but so much relief was filling me that I couldn’t move to correct the mistake. Pheniks slowed down for a moment, circling me, before sighing. 

 “House Kolb brain,” he said. “I’ll see you back home, Zae.” 

 Speeding ahead, he was soon a blip on the horizon, but I wasn’t alone. Korix and Leski waited while I recovered, and once I had, they hovered as close to me as they could. 

 “We still need to talk,” Leski said, “but my reserves-” 

 “I know. You shouldn’t rely on your emergency stash,” I said. “Thanks for making sure I was ok.” 

 “Of course,” Leski said. “I realize that you probably have clean-up to handle, so do you need anything else from me, or can I…?” 

 Clean-up. Right. I hadn’t thought about that yet, only focusing on each present moment. Was I in shock? That would explain how badly I’d been bumbling through the last ten minutes. Plus, I hadn’t been this numb in a while. 

 Or I was mostly numb. Regarding this mess, I still had one thing left to resolve, and until that was done, I didn’t know how effective I’d be with everything else. 

 First, though, I had to handle Leski. 

 “Please, get home before your reserves fail,” I said. “I’ll find you as soon as I have a free moment.” 

 “All right,” Leski said. “Be safe.” 

 “You too.” 

 And it was just me and Korix. In silence, we headed for the closest shore, soon flying over flooded land. Damn, Zan and Vaessa would have a hell of a time cleaning up after this man-made disaster. I should probably feel guilty about that but honestly? I couldn’t bring myself to care. 

 The quiet between me and Korix persisted as we set down and removed our atmospheric suits, and once we were free of them, I stared at him, hugging my chest. I couldn’t bring myself to speak. How did I continue with the conversation that we’d been having before Pheniks had interrupted us? 

 After what felt like forever, I tore my eyes off of him, turning in place while I chewed on my lip. 

 With a soft chuckle, I said, “Isn’t this nostalgic? Once more, we’re in an Ostium forest, much like the one where you first saved my life, and sure these fallen leaves might have become the sea’s temporary shore but-” 

 “Yes.” 

 My feet came together, and taking carefully even breaths, I glanced over my shoulder at Korix. The man I was presented with was much different from the ‘Garreth’ I’d met years ago or the wraith-like Lokke Vitras who’d stolen me from my House naming ceremony. In the evening’s sweet-light, Korix beamed at me. The warmth of it turned his already striking features into the most breathtaking sight that I’d seen in my life, and he was completely relaxed, something he’d never done around me. Always, caution or worry had hovered over him, but it was gone now. I didn’t know what to make of it. 

 “Uh,” I said. 

 Eloquent, idiot. 

 But Korix only laughed, and hell, if that noise didn’t make my heart swell. 

 “Yes, Zae,” he said when he could. “I’ll be your life partner.” 

 Licking my lips, I tried to speak, failed, and tried again. 

 “It’s not that I doubt you or anything,” I said, “but… why? Why would you commit to a lifetime with me?” 

 Chuckling, Korix crossed one arm across his chest while hiding his eyes. 

 “Mother Time, with how confident you usually are, I forget how much self-assurance you sometimes need,” he said before flinging his arms to either side of him. “Very well. You want to know why? Then, come here.” 

 Swallowing hard, I crossed the distance to him. Part of me was certain he’d reject me, even after saying yes, but he merely draped his arms over my shoulders, resting his forehead on mine. 

 “I could tell you how over the years, I’ve noticed how well we go together. Or I could tell you about how we bring out the best in each other. You’re always reminding me that it’s ok to feel, and I remind you of when it’s not,” he said. “But the simple truth of it is that I want to be with you. I want the spark of my soul to commune with yours, even in the Collective after we’ve died. You’ve saved me in more ways than I can count, and I want to be there when you need the same from me. Is that enough of a reason?” 

 I’d fly to the moon. Mother Time, this bubbling brightness inside of me would lift me into the depths of space. 

 “Yes. That’s enough,” I croaked. 

 “Good,” Korix said. “Because I need something from you.” 

 He pulled away from me, and at those brown-striated-gray eyes turning to molten copper, I smirked. 

 “How curious,” I said. “I need something from you too.” 

 “Do you now?” 

 Lunging, Korix wrapped his arms around my waist, and we tumbled to the forest floor. With us tangled around one another, I let myself believe that life could return to normal again. 

Chapter 105: I Can't Believe That Worked
Waiting in the foyer of shukusen Talira’s office, I examined her latest acquisition, another painting by Gaze. He’d done a masterful job of depicting a field’s gentle rustle in the breeze with the shifting of its canvas’ threads an achievement to admire. 

 “You said you’d come find me.” 

 As Leski stopped beside me, I let a smile soften my features, never removing my gaze from the painting. 

 “I believe the technical phrasing included ‘when I have a free moment’,” I said. “You may have noticed how hectic everything’s been over the last few days?” 

 That was an understatement on my part. When Korix and I had returned to Lutov via a beacon, we’d had to sit through so many interrogations, ones where we’d thoroughly explained ourselves to the shukusenth. That process had taken a good day and a half, all of which had felt like a waste of time to me. 

 Thank Mother Time for Talira’s support of us. From what I could tell, it had been the only reason the other heads of Houses had believed our story over Alezand’s protestations. 

 After that, events had followed as they should have. Alezand had been exiled. I’d still watch him for hostile behavior, unable to believe that we were done with him, but for now, I had to be satisfied with the shukusenth’s judgment, no matter how much I ached to hurt him more. Jayla deserved it. 

 The rest of Cerullis was in chaos. Without a shukusen or First Stratus at the helm, no one in the House knew who should lead it, which had made meeting with them simply wonderful, and that wasn’t even covering how to resolve the split between the people who’d sided with the Ancients and those who hadn’t. Over time, it would work out, but for now, Cerullis was in the weakest position that it had held in centuries. 

 In the midst of this, I’d carved out time to visit Rane. Still in the hospital at the base of Kolb’s headquarters, she was in a curious state. I’d never seen a woman so pissed off about what had happened to her and yet, deliriously relieved, all due to the lack of her position’s necessity. 

 With The Library gone, her world had opened up. Hopefully, she could go home soon, but since an Ancient had ravaged her mind, Kolb’s medics wanted to observe her for a while longer. Maybe while waiting to leave, she could figure out what she’d do next. 

 When in the hospital, I’d also visited Feena. My sister would be fine, eventually—the idiot had refused to use RRDs—but right now, she was pretty banged up from her five-on-one fight. I was told that she’d kept her opponents busy for a few hours, unwilling to kill any of them. When I’d asked her about that, she’d said that she hadn’t wanted to end the lives of people who might have been as much under an Ancient’s control as I’d been. Because of this, though, someone had had to fish her unconscious, nearly-dead ass out of the sea and fucking hell… 

 When we’d gotten home and I’d heard that news, Korix had had to physically restrain me from finding the people who’d hurt my sister and making them pay. I saw the logic behind both of my loved ones’ actions now, but damn, if I hadn’t wanted to rip into Feena and Korix at the time. Needless to say, my time at my sister’s bedside had been strained, even as I’d smothered her with concern. 

 But visiting her and Rane had been the only indulgences I’d allowed myself since coming home. 

 Turning to Leski, I said, “Has my grandmother finished questioning you?” 

 We’d already gone through one round of these debriefings, but Talira had called for a second meeting with each of us, probably wanting to make sure that everyone would keep their facts straight in the future. At least, I thought that was why she’d summoned us again, although she’d probably had another reason for bringing me and Korix here. 

 As the first to face the shukusen, Leski had been in her office for far too long before switching places with Pheniks, but in response to my question, she nodded, facing me with her chin lifted. 

 “May we discuss my issues now, or should I wait?” she asked. 

 “Now is fine,” I said. “I doubt Talira will invite me and Ko into her office anytime soon.” 

 As I had near constantly over the last seventy-two hours, I checked on my new life partner. He was asleep in a chair, snoring, and I suppressed my mirth at the sight. I was used to him catching sleep when he could but never in so public of a place. 

 “When we were at the Source, you sent me away because you planned to kill yourself,” Leski said. “You didn’t want to hurt me, but you also didn’t want me to argue you out of it.” 

 Snapping my eyes to her, I said, “Yes.” 

 Leski stepped into my personal space, jabbing a finger into my chest. 

 “You can’t do that,” she said. “If I’m to be your… if I’m to continue dating you, you cannot leave me out when it comes to things like that.” 

 Oh, how that righteous indignation set me ablaze, in both a nice and distinctly unpleasant way. 

 “You’re right, and I’m sorry that I did it when we were at the Source,” I said. “It won’t happen again. Ever.” 

 Pausing, I considered how I should phrase the next part before deciding to just say it. 

 “And you’re my partner, not just someone I’m dating.” 

 Returning my attention to the painting, I smirked at Leski’s flabbergasted stuttering. 

 “What’s that supposed to mean?” she managed to get out. 

 Instead of answering, I inclined my head to the swaying grass stalks on the canvas in front of us. 

 “What do you think of this?” I asked. 

 Glancing at it, Leski said, “It’s nice, I guess. Zae, what-?” 

 “Would you mind something similar hanging in the place you call home?” I asked. 

 When Leski went still, I patiently waited for her to form a response. 

 “I wouldn’t mind,” she eventually said. “Why do you ask?” 

 “I like Gazi paintings,” I said with a shrug. 

 Hopefully, that would be enough of an explanation for her. 

 “You’ll soon go through your House naming, yes?” I continued. “After it’s over, how would you feel about living, for a time, with Korix and me?” 

 With her breath going short, Leski resolutely continued facing the painting, despite her bearing’s obvious cry to turn my way. 

 “How long is ‘for a time’?” she asked. 

 “As long as you like,” I said, curling my lips. 

 “And Ko is ok with this?” 

 “When I asked him about it, he seemed enthused with the idea,” I said. “If you want, you can ask him for yourself.” 

 At that, she fell silent, and much as it stressed me, I let her have this moment. When it started running long, however, I relented, pulling her in front of me. 

 Meeting her eyes, I said, “This isn’t me saying that I love you. I don’t know how I feel about you, but I want to explore the possibility that lies between us. I believe that the best way to do that is by living in close quarters for a time. What do you think?” 

 For a moment, Leski turned inward, but then, she mischievously grinned at me. 

 “That it’s a great idea,” she said, “and I can’t wait to face the challenge.” 

 Mother Time, she was wonderful. 

 “In that case, why don’t you stay with us tonight,” I said. “Do you remember how to reach Ko’s apartment?” 

 “I remember which tier it’s on,” Leski said. “I doubt finding it from there will be hard.” 

 It wouldn’t, not with how much time I’d spent with its residents. They’d help her along, if she needed it. 

 “Then, I’ll see you there,” I said. 

 “I look forward to it,” she said with a fierce grin. “Good luck with the shukusen, Zae.” 

 “…Thanks?” 

 Damn, that knowing smile sent a shiver up my spine, but it was quickly erased by Leski’s sashay toward the lift. Watching her swaying hips, I was set adrift on possibilities for later tonight. Did she know what she was doing to me? 

 Behind me, the door to Talira’s office sprang open, and Pheniks hurried past me, muttering under his breath. 

 “Hell if I’ll ever say anything about how I disrupted the-” was all I caught before he stepped into a lift. 

 My brother’s continued existence was still spreading fingers of awe in me. I would never, never take a loved one for granted again. His perceived loss had fixed the lesson of their importance in my mind. 

 As if desperate to stop emotional thinking like that, Talira’s voice shot through her open door. 

 “I’ll next see my delinquent grandson and his evushk.” 

 Sighing, I stalked to Korix, poking him. Instantly awake, he raised an eyebrow, at which I nodded. When he was on his feet, I took his hand, and we faced my grandmother’s displeasure together.

Chapter 106: Ascension
My grandmother’s office was in shadows with the glow of the city’s lights lending it an aura of mystery. As we entered, the door closed behind us with the distinctive thunk of a lock engaging, and I went on alert. 

 Despite knowing this meeting wasn’t a trap, I couldn’t help the sudden feeling that it was, and in response, my mind went into overdrive. A thousand different ways to escape a fight popped into my thoughts, but even with that sudden chaos, I took comfort in a single fact. If we worked as one, Korix and I could take Talira down, even if it would require the best from both of us. 

 As we moved forward, however, Korix squeezed my hand, a subtle reminder that I could relax, and I forced myself to do as he’d suggested. Despite my efforts, I hadn’t completely calmed down before we stopped in front of Talira’s desk. 

 She was facing her wall of windows with her arms crossed behind her back and her feet shoulder-width apart, the epitome of martial discipline, and when she whirled on us, I couldn’t help responding with the barest of flinches. Flicking her eyes over us, she marched to her desk, resting her fingertips on it. 

 “In the last three days, you two have caused me more trouble than any other time in my life, both as a shukusen and the Lokke Vitras,” she said. “What do you have to say for yourselves?” 

 Before I could respond, Korix painfully clenched my hand, hard enough that I kept my mouth shut. Apparently, this was one of those times when I was supposed to let him take the lead. 

 “I did what I thought was necessary, my shukusen,” he said. “My kuvesk was only following my orders.” 

 “I see,” Talira said. 

 She left us in suspense for quite a while, and with every second of it, my muscles further bunched on themselves. Eventually, though, Talira pushed upright from her desk, and with that one move, the world seemed to pause, listening in on our conversation. 

 “Your personal status, my Lokke Vitras?” my grandmother asked. 

 “Rapidly deteriorating,” Korix answered. “Objectivity questionable at best. Nearing the end of my usefulness.” 

 Humming, Talira said, “And your replacement?” 

 When Korix glanced at me, I ignored my clenching gut and pattering heart. I’d known what this meeting might entail since Talira had called for it, so I nodded for Korix to say what he must. 

 Still, he watched me for far too long with his throat working. What was he waiting for? This was best for us both. 

 Eventually, he slowly swiveled his head back to Talira. 

 “Ready,” he hissed. 

 I didn’t understand why he’d been so reluctant to say that. Tonight’s events had been my goal for five years. 

 Yet, even Talira seemed saddened by Korix’s response. Maybe she’d begun mourning the loss of her relationship with him. Maybe she dreaded what was coming next. I didn’t know which of those was the case, if either, but I wished she’d get on with this. The waiting was killing me. 

 “In that case, I find you in contempt of your purpose, my Lokke Vitras,” she said. “You are stripped of your title, henceforth to be known as Korix of House Kolb. You will retain the privileges of a high Stratus, but otherwise, you are as nothing to me.” 

 And something horrible and long-held fell away from Korix. I could literally see the tension that rolled off of him, spreading a beatific smile across his face, and the sight of it sparked warmth in my heart. 

 This. This was what I’d needed since I’d realized what he meant to me. 

 Releasing my hand, Korix bowed over a raised arm. 

 “Yes, my shukusen,” he said. 

 Nodding, Talira turned to me with a petrified look on her face, and even keeping to a congenial façade as I was, I went very, very still inside. 

 “Zaeden, no House,” she solemnly said. “You are forevermore dead to Lutovish society. From now until such time as you take my place, you are the Lokke Vitras of Lutov. Long may you preserve the sanctity of your role.” 

 She fell silent, and to my surprise, I found myself at a loss. Thirty years I’d trained for this, eleven of which I’d known what I’d been doing, but now that the title was mine, I felt… nothing. I was the same person. Did that mean I could play the role as Zaeden might have? I supposed there was nothing saying that I couldn’t. 

 Rocking back on my heels, I smirked at Talira. 

 “Why, thank you, my shukusen,” I said. “I shall endeavor to be the best Lokke Vitras that Lutov’s ever seen.” 

 Beside me, Korix burst into laughter, slapping a hand over his mouth in an attempt to hide his snickering, and Talira cast an annoyed glance his way. 

 “Thank you for your service, Korix,” she said. “You may leave.” 

 Again, my life partner bowed.  

 “My pleasure to have served, shukusen Talira,” he said. 

 He gave me one more squeeze before slinking out the door. Once it had closed behind him, though, Talira turned her full attention on me, and almost, I buckled beneath it. Circling her desk, she quirked an eyebrow at me. 

 “Now is when you kneel before me and pledge your loyalty to your House,” she said. 

 No. Now was when I made my gamble and hoped that I was right. 

 “About that,” I said. “How important is your Lokke Vitras to you, my shukusen?” 

 Furrowing her brow, Talira said, “I- I don’t- What does that have to do with anything?” 

 Why did her confusion amuse me as much as it had? With what I was doing, I should only be afraid right now, but I wasn’t. Sure, I might be anxious, but I was also cold calculation, barely resisting a smirk. 

 “You’ve made a good point. My answer? When it comes to everyone else in Lutov, my importance to you is probably irrelevant, but for me, it’s everything,” I said. “I am irreplaceable to you, or at least, highly inconvenient to get rid of. After all, if I refused to serve as the Lokke Vitras, you’d have to fill the role yourself. Who else is skilled enough to do it but you? 

 “You could use Ko again, I suppose, but you and I both know how close he is to breaking. How would it reflect on House Kolb if its First Stratus started attacking random citizens on the tiers, thinking them his past enemies? 

 “So. Here is my proposal. I will serve as your Lokke Vitras. I will even claim to be a House Kolb member when in public, but I will never swear loyalty to you or a House. Knowing that I act under my own power, even if no one else does, will be enough for me. Meanwhile, you will ever hold the threat of death over me, as a shukusen always does over her Lokke Vitras, but you will gain one who’s happy and mostly well-adjusted, which is more than can be said for how you handled Korix. 

 “Given this, shukusen, will you accept my bargain? Or will Lutov suffer for the next several decades?” 

 I’d never seen my grandmother’s face so red before. She looked like she’d let her temper get the best of her, but after taking a deep breath, she clapped. 

 “Well done,” she said. “You’re the first to have backed me into a corner in a long while, even if my concession to you will be minimal at best. I accept your bargain.” 

 Bowing, I said, “Thank you, my shukusen.” 

 This wasn’t freedom from the Houses, not really. I wasn’t naïve enough to believe that I was anything more than a captive in this system still, but for now, it was the best I could do. 

 As I straightened, I barely contained a grimace. No. I couldn’t look at it like that. What I’d gained here was a start, a position that I could fight from. 

 And I would continue to fight. One day, I would be free. 

 Leaning on her desk, Talira said, “The concession’s not as great as you might think, considering the second half of your initiation tonight.” 

 Withholding a smile, I said, “What’s that?” 

 “I need a way to ensure that you’re you, much like with Korix after we woke him up from stasis,” Talira said. “So, I’ll give you a code, one that you’ll bury in your subconscious, and attached to it will be your greatest desire, which you’ll give me now.” 

 As expected. 

 “Very well,” I said. “What’s my code?” 

 With a faint grin, Talira said, “Tango romeo oscar uniform bravo lima echo.” 

 Trouble? Damn, she’d picked a good one for me. Restraining my laughter took me a moment, but when I could, I followed Korix’s example from last week. 

 “Tango romeo oscar uniform bravo lima echo,” I repeated. “To be free of the Houses. Tango romeo oscar uniform bravo lima echo.” 

 Falling still, Talira narrowed her eyes at me. 

 “That’s your greatest desire?” she asked. 

 “It is,” I said. “I’ve fought for it since I was six-years-old.” 

 For a moment, I worried that I’d accidentally killed my grandmother with my ambition, but before I could move to shake her, she filled the office with her laughter, throwing her head back with her shoulders shaking. 

 When she eventually wiped her eyes, she said, “You’ll be entirely vexing to handle, won’t you?” 

 I frowned. 

 “That’s not my intention,” I said. 

 “And that’s why I love you, Zae-zae. You’ll be a spectacular Lokke Vitras,” Talira said. “Now, go home. With recent events, you’ve earned yourself a break. Report to me a week from now, and we’ll go from there.” 

 Again, I bowed. 

 “Yes, my shukusen,” I said. 

 Spinning, I raced for the door, ignoring Talira as she muttered behind me. 

 “Oh, you and I will have so much fun together, grandson.” 

 

 Weeks later, Leski’s House naming ceremony came along, and as I took my seat in the stands, I focused on maintaining my easy smile and loose demeanor, ignoring everyone around me. I’d been the Lokke Vitras for what already felt like forever, and I still wasn’t used to the stares that were inevitably directed my way. 

 At the shukusenth’s insistence, my identity had been revealed to Lutov shortly after my elevation. Given that, you’d think I’d have gotten used to my new, infamous status, but holy shit. Having so many people focusing on me made my skin crawl. How I wished for the days when it had caused nothing but glee in me. Only Korix’s presence at my side was keeping me from fleeing this place. 

 I felt sorry for the unHoused here. This was the most important event of their young lives, and I was detracting from it with my presence alone. 

 Today, however, was also Leski’s day. I would be here for her, this ridiculous woman I’d come to love. 

 When she eventually mounted the dais, I breathed a silent sigh of relief. I could leave soon. Unfortunately, a message popped into my array at that moment, disturbing my newly gained sense of calm. 

 We have a problem in Ibis, it read. Dispatch immediately. 

 While I read the attached files, Korix leaned on me. 

 “Problem?” he asked in sub-vocals. 

 “Not really,” I replied in kind. “It can wait five minutes.” 

 I wasn’t lying about that. Talira wanted me to look into the rumors of subversive behavior circling the current heir to Escad’s throne. It was a silly task, something a lower Stratus could easily handle, but my grandmother had been testing me in recent weeks, her version of revenge for how I’d bested her on the night I’d become the Lokke Vitras. 

 Still, situations like this could easily lead to violence in Ibis, and when possible, my goal had always been to save people’s lives, no matter which landmass they called home. 

 Finished with this year’s chosen spokesperson, Leski strode to Talira, exactly as Korix and I had been speculating she’d do. How many nights had we spent idly envisioning a future with all three of us working in similar veins? 

 Once she knelt, my grandmother tore her glare off of me to lay her hand on my newest partner’s head. 

 “As head of my House, I take this worthy vassal into said House,” she said. “May you serve it well.” 

 Rising, Leski found Korix and me in the crowd, and her small smile warmed me. 

 “See here Leski of House Kolb,” this year’s spokesperson said. 

 When applause broke out, I leapt to my feet, cheering, with Korix following suit. The rest of the audience threw scandalized glances our way, not that I cared. With how much trouble I handled for them, they could give me something small like this. 

 As she returned to her seat, Leski stuck her tongue out at us, although the flash of her beaming grin was soon lost among the unHoused. Once she was settled, I snuck a kiss from Korix before making my way out of the Crescent. Only after I was free of it did I read the twin messages that had popped into my array. 

 I’m here if you need help, they read. 

 How I loved them both. 

 With a fierce smile, I approached my skycruiser, thrusting emotions aside, and once I was in it, I became the Lokke Vitras, Lutov’s protector and shield. 

 And I had a rebellion to prevent.

Addendum
So, now you know how I became who I am, and if you must judge me, do it. I can no more deny my past than you can yours. 

 You won’t find the ideal hero in me, but honestly, who can be as impossible as that? Acting as a perfect protagonist isn’t feasible in the real world. 

 So, please. Be patient with me, love. The version of me that you’ll find in these narrations still has much to learn, but you know that, don’t you? You know me now. Does the person you love match the man in this tale? 

 I have more stories to share before we get to yours, Elliot, but I promise. We will reach the tale of our lives, eventually. 

 In the meantime, enjoy what I’ve already given you and get ready for what comes next. I promise. It will be one hell of a ride.

A House's Dissolution

To: Elliot
Elliot, 

 So, you’ve stayed, despite all the horror I’ve shown you. What would it take to drive you away, I wonder? 

 You amaze me. Do you know that? Your capacity for love, your innate understanding of my people’s tech in spite of your origins, the pure goodness in you, even after what the mages did, and you’re still so young. If you weren’t constrained by a carefully constructed future, how far would you go? 

 You’ll probably hate the comparison, but you’re much like my brother in that regard. He was brilliant and a good man, in his own way, but what’s manipulating you messed with him too. 

 You’ve seen Pheniks at his best and worst now. His descent into someone who’d kill hundreds of thousands starts at this point in my story. 

 That’s my brother, though, his tale over and done. Yours is still being written, and every day you fight the destiny that other people wish to impose on you, I love you more for it. Maybe you can change your fate. I don’t know if the world can afford for that to happen, but still, I hope you do. 

 You deserve to find peace in all things, much like what you’ve guided me toward. You deserve happiness with Victor and anyone else you might love, much like you’ve given me. 

 But we should turn to the story. This chapter of my life sees the introduction of new people into it, and one of those is someone I’d sacrifice everything for: life, wealth, and happiness. The reason for that should become apparent soon enough. 

 This chapter also details what I consider to be the worst thing I’ve ever done in my life, but you won’t learn about it until much later. I wish you’d never learn about it, but I know you. If you’ve gotten this far, you’ll stay until the end, too stubborn to give up now. 

 Stubborn, brilliant, oh so fragile yet strong, a light in our dark world. Mother Time was I lucky to have you in my life, Elliot. I hope you know that. 

 I hope you know how much I love you. 

 -Zaeden

Chapter 1: Here We Go Again
Emotionally drained, I sprawled beside Cambris with her wife, Liala, on the other side of her. After spending quite some time piled in their bed, talking and laughing and sharing about our lives, we’d tiptoed along sleep’s shores for a good quarter hour now with only the occasional comment keeping us anchored in the waking world, and despite the fact that I should have left the couple’s apartment a while ago, I had yet to find the motivation to crawl out of bed. 

 This had been a good first date, something that hadn’t happened in years. The title and role that were ever mine usually didn’t let people break through their initial cautious awe of me, and no matter that this had become expected over the decades, it didn’t lend to either party wanting another date. So, the fact that Liala and Cambris had treated me as ‘Zaeden’ and nothing else from the moment we’d met had been refreshing. 

 Even still. Rolling toward Cambris, I buried my face in her blonde hair. 

 “I need to go,” I said into it. 

 With a disappointed sigh, she faced me, snuggling closer, and Liala propped herself up on an elbow to look over her wife. 

 “You can’t stay?’ she asked. “We know a great breakfast place nearby. It’d be good for the morning.” 

 They’d be one of those dates, huh? The ones who made it difficult to get out the door. 

 “I wish I could,” I said, “but I’m needed elsewhere.” 

 Technically true. Someone always needed me. 

 “Maybe next time,” I continued. “If you’re interested in a next time, that is.” 

 Liala and Cambris exchanged a glance. 

 “That would be nice,” Cambris said. “Shall we schedule it?” 

 And here came the second reason that first dates usually flopped for me. 

 “I’m open to setting a date and time, but you should know that given my life, I can’t keep to a strict schedule. I’m more likely to cancel on you than not,” I said. “What I can offer instead is to put you in my contacts. When I have a free moment, I’ll send you a message at least twenty-four hours in advance, and you can accept the invitation to a meet-up or not. We can do this in addition to a scheduled date, of course.” 

 Above me, Liala shrugged. 

 “A combo works for us. We know you’re busy,” she said. “When’s your next tentative free time?” 

 That… wasn’t the usual response to how my life worked, but again, everything about these two had been out of the ordinary. 

 “Two weeks from now,” I said. “The sixteenth of Cuin.” 

 Making a face, Cambris said, “I have a House thing that day. Sorry.” 

 “Don’t be!” I said. “I’m open the next Freinsday. Does that work?” 

 And so, the negotiation went until we found a time that would work best for all involved. For the first part of the date, only Liala and I would be together with Cambris joining us later, which wasn’t perfect, but such was polyamory. Compromises were inherent in the lifestyle, just like a ridiculously packed schedule could be. I supposed that last one was dependent on how many people someone was seeing, though. 

 At the apartment door, I kissed both woman goodbye before flourishing a ridiculously extravagant bow. 

 “Thank you for a wonderful evening, ladies,” I said. “I look forward to when we next meet.” 

 With their arms around one another, Liala and Cambris watched me with mirth in their eyes. 

 “So formal,” Cambris said. “Should we reciprocate?” 

 “Mother Time, no,” I said. “Please. I get enough of that in my everyday life.” 

 Smirking, Liala said, “Look, my love. I believe you’ve flustered him. What is that? Two times tonight?” 

 “Three, thank you very much,” Cambris said. 

 Hell, I missed when teasing like this had been expected on dates, whether from me or my partner. Squeezing my eyes closed, I rubbed them. 

 “I can’t stay,” I groaned. 

 With a long sigh, Cambris said, “Fine.” 

 Lowering my hands, I stared at the women and their distinctly different pouting faces over my fingers. Liala lifted two of hers off of her wife’s shoulder. 

 “Until next time,” she said. “Don’t spread yourself too thin, ok?” 

 Ha! A little over one hundred years as the Lokke Vitras and I hadn’t learned that trick yet. 

 “I’ll do my best,” I said. 

 And I left. 

 Despite the early-evening hour, the deep dark of midnight had fallen on Xygek’s ground level with light orbs and neon signs replacing the sun. I headed for the closest park, somewhere I might find limited seclusion. 

 Sidewalks, no matter how light their foot traffic was, wouldn’t provide it, that was for sure. As I strode beside the street, slipstreams buffeted me while people scrambled to get out of my way. 

 Over the years, I’d done much to dismantle the enticing sense of mystery that surrounded the Lokke Vitras. Among other things, I’d made myself available to the public, acting like an average citizen, but people still treated me with extreme deference. It was exhausting. 

 When I reached a park, the few people near the entrance scattered when they took note of me, and I sighed under my breath. Determined not to disturb anyone else’s evening, I leapt and hauled myself up a tree, settling on a sturdy branch once I’d reached a sufficient height. Decently hidden, I pulled up my to-do list while making a face at its length. How was it that no matter how many items I removed from this, it never got shorter? 

 While I scanned it, I lifted my array from privacy mode. Even if certain messages—like those from shukusen Talira—could breach the walls that this mode built around me, I enjoyed having a way to block the flood of inane messages that I received on a daily basis. 

 As they streamed in, my array checked each sender against the short list of people whose messages automatically came to my attention. The rest were filed for later review, something I should do soon according to my to-do list. 

 While I moved that task closer to the top, I checked ‘date with House Vaessa couple’ off of it. Similar items lay further down, but I was nearing the limit of the personal indulgences I could afford this week. I needed something work-related to balance them out, so I paid more attention to that side of the list. 

 Some of what was there, like routine check-ins with various shukusenth, could wait for a while longer, but others should be addressed soon. For instance, in the last two weeks, a handful of people had gone missing along the border between the Preserve and Xygek. 

 When this had first come to my attention, I hadn’t thought much of it, content to let Kolb’s lower Strata look into the issue, but as of this afternoon, the potential victim list had reached double digits. That was something I should investigate, even if shukusen Talira didn’t assign the problem to me. 

 As I was plotting a course to the site where the latest victim had vanished, however, a message from someone on my short list slid into my array, dated from a few hours ago. 

 If you can, I need you home after your date, it read. I have news. 

 Was something wrong back home? 

 No, that was paranoia talking. My family could take care of itself. 

 Even so, Leski had said she needed me, so I’d go to her. Nothing on my to-do list required immediate action. Several items had a time limit on them, sure, but nothing needed to be finished tonight. 

 Dropping out of the tree, I requested a report of recent findings from Fourth Stratus Elrin, the man my grandmother had put in charge of the missing persons mission. Hopefully, I’d get a response from him before end of day tomorrow. I’d like to know if Elrin needed help as soon as possible, preferably before I’d handled what was happening at home. 

 When I arrived at the closet landing pad, I gave a drone my designator, and after receiving it, the drone sent a command into the clouds, one that had my skycruiser descending to a stop a few tiers above. I waited while the couple who’d been here before me got into their vehicle with both of them giving me odd looks. 

 Crossing my arms, I ignored them. I could wait my turn, damnit! Or I could when nothing was threatening the homeland, at least. 

 Once I was in my skycruiser, I settled into my seat, pulling up my latest book narration before wincing. I’d love to hear more of this story but… 

 I was running on almost fifty hours without sleep. Unless I must, I’d rather not waste an adrenaline burst, so the narration was returned to its file, and I started a dream sequence.

Chapter 2: Savor Happiness
When an alarm roused me, the Southern Fells’ moors were racing below my skycruiser with the river that fed Lake Phiabe splitting them. Nestled in a crook of this snaking path of water, lights resisted the night, the only ones visible for as far as I could see. 

 An estate. My estate but I had trouble thinking of it as something that I owned. Everything in my life could easily be taken away from me. Everything technically belonged to House Kolb, provided in exchange for my service to them, which I’d always found funny for several reasons. 

 Chief of these was that these possessions, that land, this sprawling house? I didn’t need it. It was nice, certainly, but I would be just as happy living in a poorly constructed home, like the exiled did, so long as my family came with me. 

 I landed outside, unsure how long I’d be there. If Leski only needed me to kill a bug—which she’d had me come home to do before, to my great amusement—I didn’t want to wait while drones prepared the hangar for my departure. 

 When I stepped out of the skycruiser, a breeze welcomed me home, and the chill of it tugged on my lips, even as I shivered. Mother Time, I’d missed this place. 

 The building itself could go up in flames for all I cared. Someone I’d never met had planned its layout and appearance, done with only mild interference from Leski. She’d made sure that everyone had gotten the things we needed in a house, but everything else had been left to the architect. All sweeping lines and windows peeking through gaps—the style for the last several decades—I liked it well enough, but then, I’d never been the most visually inclined of people. 

 Stepping inside, I stretched, swearing for a second that I heard the sound of pattering paws and heavy panting. For the millionth time, I wondered if we should get another dog. I missed Ace. Intensely. And no other dog could replace him but… 

 There was something to be said for their ability to make one feel singularly loved, something that would be nice to have again. Not yet, though. 

 Shaking my head, I sent out messages— I’m home! —before heading for the kitchen. While munching on a snack, I wandered toward the one room in the house where I was sure to find at least one member of my family. 

 The library was dimly lit. It was the only place where flames provided illumination instead of artificial lights, and their warm, orange color flickered over the spines of the many books we’d collected over the years. Enough were here to fill the floor-to-ceiling shelves that lined two-thirds of the empty wall space. A few chairs were scattered around the library while a sofa sat in front of the fireplace, and on either side of it, pillows spilled into view. 

 Glancing at this scene, I frowned. I’d thought for sure… 

 As if amused that I could have missed it, a glass filled with amber liquid, resting on a side table, popped out at me, and I softly chuckled. No matter that he still scolded me about how I occasionally drank, one of these was always waiting for me when I came home. I padded to claim it, sipping at my whiskey sour with my eyes closed before once more relinquishing it to its relegated spot so I could find him. 

 With his body loose in sleep, Korix was sprawled in haphazardly arranged pillows with a book lying open on his chest, and at the sight of him, I bit my lip. His legs were folded under one another in an uncomfortable looking fashion, and he’d flung one arm away while clutching the book’s edge and Mother Time… 

 How did he still do this to me, even after over a century together? Also, how damn lucky was I that he was in my life? 

 In two, quiet strides, I was close enough to straddle his legs. With a finger on his cheek, I eased him to face me, and hell, if my lungs didn’t cease working at the wrinkle of his nose, the one that always came in the moments before he woke up. Grinning, I bent down to his lips, and when we touched, something melted inside of me. A piece of me had returned to where it was meant to be. 

 With a soft gasp, Korix opened his eyes. Still half-asleep, he was sluggish while wrapping his arms around me, but that was ok. I had what I needed for now: a kiss steadily growing stronger, my body bunching on itself to hoard the heat in me, my hands running over a man I knew so well that I greeted each hollow and rise of him like old friends. 

 So, when he tensed, I knew what to expect and went limp accordingly. A breath later, I was on my back with Korix on top of me and my hands pinned next to my head. Much as I didn’t like this, I just grinned until sleep fled from him, leaving a question in his eyes. 

 “Kuvesk,” he said. 

 “I haven’t been your student in a long time, Ko,” I said. 

 With his eyes widening, Korix released my wrists, letting me breathe easy again, but he didn’t remove his weight from me. Straightening, he rested the back of his hands on my waist. 

 “How was your date?” he asked. 

 Mother Time, I wanted to buck him off of me so we could get back to kissing, but I knew what this was, the same as I knew the tension in him as intimately as I knew myself. So, I left my hands on my stomach with our fingers barely touching. 

 “Surprisingly good for once,” I said. “How was yours?” 

 He hadn’t gone on a date for a week or so, but I hadn’t been home in that time, and we didn’t talk about this part of our lives except when we were together. 

 When Korix curled his fingers into his palm, I suppressed a wince. 

 “It went well until she figured out who I am,” he said, “something that only happened because I… started seeing things.” 

 Fuck. No, that wasn’t strong enough. Double fuck. 

 Cupping Korix’s cheek, I brushed my thumb under his eye. 

 “I’m sorry, Ko,” I said. 

 He leaned into my palm. 

 “It’s ok. If she couldn’t understand that part of me, it wouldn’t have been a good match,” he said. “I’ll try again next week. A woman from Zan expressed interest.” 

 “Oo, a scientist? That might be fun.” 

 Shrugging, Korix said, “We’ll see. But enough of that. How are you, Zae?” 

 I shrunk on myself, half-closing an eye. 

 “Can we have our check-in chat later, please?” I asked. 

 His face softened because he knew what my request actually meant. 

 “Of course.” 

 “Thank you,” I said, hooking my finger around one of his. “What about you? Anything you need to share?” 

 “It can wait,” Korix said. 

 “Ok.” 

 Using what I was holding as a jumping point, I slowly walked my fingers between the gaps of his, and he swallowed with his eyes starting to unfocus. 

 “Any idea why Leski called me home?” I asked. 

 Shaking his head, Korix licked his lips, trailing his gaze down the length of my body. 

 “I missed you,” I said. 

 His only response to that was a funny noise at the back of his mouth, and I inched my fingers a step closer. 

 “Ko,” I softly said. 

 He looked up at me with his pupils blown wide. 

 “Come here.” 

 I would never get tired of watching his flushed face lowering to mine, and he would never fail to know exactly what I wanted. His mouth ground into mine so hard that my head slipped off of a pillow’s edge, and distant pinpricks flashed over my scalp. I held him to me, but even then, we weren’t close enough. Weeks I’d gone without seeing my life partner, and I needed….  I needed. 

 Throwing my leg around Korix, I crushed his hips into mine, and both of us made noises that should never be heard from a Lokke Vitras. Slapping a hand beside my head, Korix turned forcefully insistent with his kiss, and I couldn’t help but smile at that. I loved it when my lips were puffy after I’d spent time with him.  

 Distantly, I heard the door hiss open— 

 “I knew I’d find you here! I- oh. Sorry.” 

 —and rolling off of me, Korix laughed at the look on Leski’s face. With her cheeks reddening, her freckles had almost faded, which was too bad. I liked them, liked kissing them. 

 She’d pulled her hair into a ponytail, exposing her neck and ears. Today, she was wearing shorts and a mesh shirt under her typical, knee-length coat. The outfit showed off her legs and waist, drawing attention to all the curves on her body, and as I took her in, my mind emptied with only her left behind. 

 Once more, I was reminded of how lucky I was. Doubly so. 

 “I… can… come back?” Leski said. 

 I didn’t know why she got ruffled like this. Leski had walked in on me and Korix hundreds of times before, the same as he had when I was with her, and every time, we responded the same way. With a grin and a smirk, we extended our hands in invitation to Leski, his life companion. My wife. 

 She returned our smiles, answering our unspoken question with a headshake. 

 “I don’t have the energy,” she said. “I’ll just watch, if you don’t mind.” 

 I turned to Korix. Everyone knew that Leski wasn’t asking me, slut for attention that I was. 

 Shrugging, Korix tried to roll on top of me again, but I was faster. I wrestled myself atop him, and pinning his wrists, I took my time running my eyes over my prize. The smooth dip of his waist where his shirt had pulled away from it. The arms that he was letting me hold down. The absolutely perfect face lifted toward me. The eyes watching me, waiting with such anticipation that it might intimidate me if he wasn’t him and I wasn’t me. 

 “Where were we?” I said. 

 Tilting his head to the side, Korix said, “Kissing, I believe. I definitely remember you suffocating me with your mouth. There might have been a leg thrown around me too.” 

 …Why had I ever taught this man the art of snark? Clicking my tongue, I dove toward him, stopping just short of our lips coming together. 

 “You’re an ass sometimes,” I said. 

 Raising an eyebrow, Korix said, “So? You are too-” 

 I shut his lying mouth with my tongue in it, and his laughter rumbled through me. 

 From there, we fell into our typical pattern. Korix play-fought me. I pushed him into the floor. Kisses and the press of our bodies eventually weren’t enough, and I released him, letting him run his hands over me while pulling my shirt over my head. More clothes came off, piece by piece, until nothing remained but skin and skin and… 

 Kisses sucked the air from my lungs with gasps flying from us unbidden, and always, ever, throughout, I could see only Korix. He was my world, and the world had made me an underwater vent with too much steam building behind it. I couldn’t get enough of him, so when he pulled away to wriggle out from under me, I whimpered a little, fiercely biting my tongue when I heard it. 

 After rifling through my discarded clothes, Korix soon returned, climbing onto my thighs. Gripping the back of my head, he kissed me like he was afraid I’d break, rubbing his nose against mine as he backed off. 

 “Please,” he said. 

 Mother Time, there was such begging in his gaze. 

 “Of course, Ko,” I softly said. 

 I nudged his chin until he was turned my way. I wanted to see the moment when delirium made its claim on him, but then, I could hug him to me, pressing my forehead to his. I could steal kisses in between bouts of him tugging on my hair. I could fully enjoy it when he clutched me to him until he couldn’t anymore, and after I lowered him into the pillows, he stared at nothing while every part of him was loose. 

 “Fuck,” he coughed. 

 And I shivered. Korix never cursed. Never. 

 Except when I’d unwound the snarled ball of stress that was him. I loved hearing those filthy words come out of his mouth. 

 As he slowly settled back into his body, Korix searched for me, grimacing when I squeezed his hand. 

 “Oh, no. I didn’t mean to leave you…” he said, peeling himself off of the floor. “I can-” 

 And Leski was there, pushing Korix into the pillows. 

 “Stay down. Enjoy the glow,” she said. “I’ve got this.” 

 She toppled me backward and… 

 For the first time in weeks, I floated—that state that came when one’s mind wiped out—because of something other than pain. These two… 

 Sex with other partners was great, and I fucking loved it, but it was different with Leski and Korix. It was more… more. 

 When I came to, Leski was smooshed between me and Korix, and he was resting a hand on my cheek, watching me. He smiled when I focused on him. 

 “I missed you too,” he said in sub-vocals. 

 Straining my neck, I kissed his palm, but then, both of us turned to the partner we’d ignored to this point, snuggling into her.

Chapter 3: Tell Me the News
Leski, as usual, cuddled Korix and I just as fiercely as we always did with her. She and Korix might have kept their relationship within the realm of the platonic whenever I wasn't involved, but they still loved spending time snuggling together. 

 And of course, I'd always loved any form of physical intimacy with my partners. 

 “Hi, Leski,” I said. “How’ve you been, love?” 

 “Oh, you know. Fabulous, as usual,” she said. “I got the solo for that Maliva piece I’ve been talking about, the one scheduled for next season’s orchestral rotation.” 

 Squeezing Leski, I nuzzled her shoulder while Korix, who’d probably already heard about this, ruffled her hair. 

 “Congratulations!” I said. “I know how much you wanted it.” 

 Leski stuck her tongue out at me. 

 “Of course I wanted it. It’s only the most coveted part in the musical world this year,” she said before turning sober. “Do you think you can see me play?” 

 Pinching her nose, I gently jostled her head. 

 “You already know the answer to that,” I said. “When you have it, send me the list of your concert dates, and I’ll work one into my schedule.” 

 Somehow. 

 Leski swatted my hand away, rubbing her offended skin. 

 “I will,” she said before making a face. “There’s… one other thing. You probably won’t like it. Shukusen Talira wants to see me later this week.” 

 The room went still, turning the crackle of its flames into a deafening noise, and I couldn’t move, couldn’t breathe. 

 After her first two decades in Kolb, working as an operative, Leski had switched her focus to writing security processes for the House. She was happy there, but over the last two years, Talira had been pushing for her to advance in Strata, which wouldn’t normally be a problem. This elevation, however, would push Leski into the ranks of the high Strata, somewhere missions could be forced on her. 

 “You didn’t tell me about this,” Korix said. 

 “Because it might not be what we think, and I didn’t want to stress either of you,” Leski said. “Remember, my loves. I can take care of myself. You don’t need to shield me from Talira. That’s what we agreed, right? We’d trust each other to handle our shit until someone asks for help?” 

 Swallowing the stranglehold on me, I hid my face on Leski’s shoulder, breathing her in. 

 “Ok. You tell us the second you need us, though.” 

 Leski lightly smacked me. 

 “Of course I will, dumbass. That’s what I promised,” she said. “Now, let’s shove that unpleasantness to the side. Other things require our attention like… Ko? Will you tell him about the project you started?” 

 Cautiously, I lifted my head from hiding, narrowing my eyes at Leski’s mischievous grin, but when Korix shifted beside her—his version of a squirm—I zeroed on him. 

 “Project?” I said. “You decided to take up a hobby one hundred years after Talira released you from the role of the Lokke Vitras?” 

 “I was making up for almost four centuries of service,” Korix sourly said. “Having the role for yourself now, can you blame me for wanting to do nothing but read, cook, and date?” 

 “No…” 

 I really, really couldn’t. 

 “So, what’s the project?” 

 Coughing, Korix muttered something unintelligible. 

 “I’m sorry. Mind repeating that?” I said. “I don’t think I heard it through the shock of seeing you embarrassed.” 

 He glared at me, and the tick that he got when he was annoyed started up, which had me biting my lip. Mother Time, inducing that look was always the highlight of my week. 

 “He’s writing a book,” Leski said. 

 I glanced between her and Korix. 

 “A book,” I repeated. “Really? You?” 

 Hunching on himself, Korix said, “Is it that hard to believe?” 

 “Not at all! Quite the opposite, in fact,” I said. “It’s just…” 

 Chewing on my lip, I cocked my head. 

 “I see you now and as you were, regularly kicking my ass in combat training, and the contrast…” 

 I trailed off as Korix clenched more tightly around himself. Damnit, he was closing off. 

 “All I’m saying is that I’m glad you’re healing, Ko. More than is reasonable,” I said, giving him a slight smile. “I look forward to reading your masterpiece once it’s finished.” 

 Korix snapped his mouth open, but no words emerged from him, only a soft squeak, and grinning, I marked the memory in my array, to be stored with so many other precious moments with my partners. I swore to Mother Time; he knew what I was doing because he clicked his teeth together before swooping down on Leski. 

 “You and I will have a word later,” he said. 

 Wriggling in place, Leski said, “Oo, scary.” 

 “You should be scared, small one,” Korix growled. 

 Hell, why couldn’t I stay with them all the time? Barring dates, of course. Times like this, with them teasing each other and me a delighted observer, I wanted to take the role of the Lokke Vitras as well as the society that had created it and burn it all down. 

 But I couldn’t. 

 And I couldn’t stay here. I’d made a deal with Talira: I served as her Lokke Vitras, and as a consequence, I didn’t have to swear loyalty to a House. When leaving Cambris and Liala’s apartment, I’d bordered on breaking that deal. The hours that I’d spent getting home and communing with my partners had tilted that balance, and Leski had yet to explain why she’d summoned me here. 

 So, clearing my throat, I said, “Love, you said that you have news?” 

 Korix and Leski’s banter broke off while a blank-eyed lack of expression—one I’d come to hate—fell over them. 

 “You have to go, don’t you?” Korix said. 

 Hissing, I said, “Not… immediately. But soon, yes.” 

 “Good. That means you have a little time,” Leski said. “Maybe it’ll be enough for you to enjoy this. So…” 

 Clicking her tongue, she swiveled to face us, and after we exchanged a glance, Korix and I climbed out of the pillows to match her height. She took our hands. 

 “There’s a reason I’m not especially worried about Talira pressuring me into elevation,” she said. “I had a meeting with shukusen Marza today.” 

 Once more glancing at Korix, I was glad to see that I wasn’t the only one who was baffled. 

 “What did she want?” I asked. 

 “Oh, come on.” 

 Leski rolled her eyes. 

 “You’re smart enough to figure it out on your own, boys. Put those brilliant brains to work,” she said. “You get one more hint. It has to do with something that we decided thirty years ago.” 

 Hell, how was I supposed to remember everything we’d done that long ago? So much had happened in the time since that the specifics of one year had become hazy, at best. Still, I tried. 

 A meeting with Marza. What did my Leski of House Kolb have to do with the shukusen of House Drav? When it came to purpose, the two Houses were on opposite ends of the spectrum. Kolb was centered on necessary violence while Drav concerned itself with… 

 Population control. 

 My mouth had gone dry, so much so that I had to swallow a few times before I could speak. 

 “She approved our application?” I asked. 

 Nodding, Leski said, “She wanted to tell me herself so she could once more express her reservations. Probably too afraid to do it with anyone but me.” 

 I clenched my hands in my lap. 

 “That bitch!” 

 “Zae! Curse a shukusen later,” Korix faintly said. “Focus now.” 

 I was a little scared to continue down this path. What would happen if I touched the knowledge that was already sparking flames in my heart? Our application for a child, submitted so long ago that I’d buried remembrance of it, had been approved. 

 Which meant I was going to be a dad. 

 “We’re going to be parents,” Korix said, echoing my thoughts. 

 While Leski watched us process this realization with a shit-eating grin, the shocked hush of it pulsed around us. I didn’t know what to call this furious buzz of energy inside of me, making the skin on my face a paper-thin covering for the build of heated blood in them. If I held it in my heart, I would become a supernova, bursting from purely euphoric exuberance, so I let it out. 

 With a whoop, I raced around the library, trailing my fingers over the spines of the books that I could read to my child as they grew up. My laughter resonated in the room, delighted peals that returned to me through the sparkling glow that was overlaying the world, and when I reached the side table, I downed my long-turned-tepid whiskey sour, adding its warmth to what was threatening to split my lips wide. 

 Coming around the sofa, I tackled Leski, peppering her with kisses while she laughingly pushed against me, and when I came up for air, I found Korix—sitting beside us with a rare, contented smile on his face—before dragging him down with us. We were a pile of limbs and laughter and love, wrapped in the fulfillment of a goal that we’d fought to achieve over the last fifty years, thirty of them spent waiting. Twice as long as most Lutovish citizens, all because of who I was. 

 But it didn’t matter. Months from now, we’d come home from House Drav’s headquarters with a little bundle, made from two of us but child to us all. A small human to guide and love.  

 Mother Time, we had so many logistics to work out, but that discussion could wait. For now… 

 “How are we celebrating?” I asked. 

 We were draped over one another while the frantic energy in me had been reduced to lazy warmth, and I ran my fingers through Leski’s hair, further loosening it from its ponytail. 

 “I could make us a nice dinner. Or maybe a cake,” Korix said before propping himself on an elbow. “But… don’t you have things to do, Zae?” 

 Right. The role I was supposed to devote my life to. 

 Making a face, I said, “I don’t suppose either of you feels like coming with me.” 

 Scrambling out from under my legs, Leski hung over me. 

 “Are you asking us to go on a mission with you?” she asked. 

 “…Yes?” 

 Sighing, Leski lifted her eyes to the ceiling before bending to kiss me. 

 “Zae, you’re an idiot sometimes,” she said against my lips. 

 When she straightened, Korix was standing over her with his hands on his hips, a picture of heart-stopping appeal. 

 “Of course we’re coming,” he said. “Missions with you are some of the best parts of our lives, remember?” 

 What had I been thinking? This was my wife and life partner I was talking to, not Talira or a lower Stratus who’d find my request odd. 

 “Where are we going?” Korix asked. “Anything special we should bring?” 

 Uh… 

 I hadn’t had a task in mind when asking for help, fully expecting them to refuse my request, so it took me a minute to pull up my to-do list. Meanwhile, Leski scooched closer to me, practically vibrating with excitement, while Korix watched me with a fond tilt to his lips. 

 It was distracting. 

 I had yet to receive a report from Elrin on the missing persons investigation, so I picked the problem of next highest priority. 

 “Ibis. Sorry, Ko. I know you don’t like going there. You shouldn’t need anything extra,” I said. “Are you sure this is how you want to celebrate us bringing a child into the world?”  

 Leski dropped into seriousness, laying a hand on my cheek. 

 “Zaeden. Love. All of us are House Kolb or at least associated with it,” she said. “This is how we celebrate.” 

 Behind her, Korix nodded, and I released a long sigh before sitting up. 

 “All right. Let’s head to Ibis, then.”

Chapter 4: When Fighting Together Is Love 1
From the many pilots available to me, Third Stratus Damari had been my favorite for years. I liked them for four reasons. 

 One: They were competent at what they did, no more and no less, and they were comfortable with that. For instance, our current trip to Ibis had been rather bumpy with turbulence battering against the strike ship. Unlike with Damari, the typical House Kolb pilot would be panicking about their performance right now, all while apologizing to me, which brought me to my second point. 

 Two: In the time I’d known them, Damari hadn’t once told me they were sorry. They treated me like I was nothing special, which was fantastically glorious. It contributed to the reason for my third point. 

 Three: They were probably the only person, unrelated to me, who didn’t judge their Lokke Vitras for having public relationships with loved ones. After all, relationships were a ‘distraction’, and the Lokke Vitras could not lose sight of their purpose, ever an unwilling concubine to Lutov, their mistress. 

 This exceedingly common viewpoint was the only reason why several decades ago, I’d married Leski. Without its pressure, the three of us had been content in our pledge of lifelong commitment but with it… 

 Of my two partners, Korix had learned how to discount people’s opinions of him early on in life, but in our first few years together, Leski had had a hard time with ignoring judging eyes and stories whispered behind strangers’ hands. The three of us had agreed that making my relationship with her legally binding—legitimizing it, in a way—might ease some of the pressure on her, and it had, to a degree. 

 It hadn’t done the same for me, not that I much cared, but even still, encountering someone like Damari, who didn’t give a shit what I did in my personal time, was so ridiculously rare that for our first few months together, I’d found them mighty suspicious. 

 These three points served as the basis for the only friendship I’d ever had, outside of my family. 

 “Getting close, LV. Might want to wake the fam up.” 

 Damari’s voice echoed in the belly of the Packhorse, especially between the supply crates where Leski, Korix, and I had wedged ourselves. With my wife snoring on my shoulder and my life partner in the midst of a rare period of decent sleep, I hummed to myself, wondering whether I should do as Damari had suggested. I could leave them to dream, doing the job alone, but if I did, they’d kick my ass later. 

 Before I dragged them from sleep, though… 

 “Hey, you might get a message from me in the next few days, Damari,” I said. “It’s an invitation, ok? You don’t have to come.” 

 “Thanks for clarifying,” Damari said. 

 I could feel their eyeroll from here. 

 “Wake up your partners, dumbass, and don’t take too long on the ground. Shukusen Talira’s gonna notice one of her strike ships gone soon. You want her waiting for us when we get home?” 

 And there was the fourth reason that I liked Damari. They didn’t tell my grandmother that I occasionally brought Korix and Leski with me on missions. She would not be pleased to learn that particular secret of mine. 

 Making a face at a nearby recorder, I jostled Leski before carefully poking Korix. Considering how peaceful he looked, I didn’t think he’d wake up in a violent state, but it was better to be safe with him. 

 “Hell, I drooled on you again,” Leski mumbled. 

 Shuffling to her knees, she sleepily swiped at a wet spot on my sleeve, but I was only paying her half of my attention. Korix’s eyes snapped open, and I kept my hands close to my weapons until his presence filled them. 

 “You good?” I asked. 

 “Hello to you too,” he grumbled. 

 Despite his grumpiness, I relaxed. I wouldn’t have to fight him until he snapped to the present again. 

 “You three slowpokes ready yet?” Damari said with their voice blaring. “Your drop’s coming up in sixty seconds.” 

 Wow… they hadn’t given us much time to prepare. After hauling Korix and Leski to their feet, I glanced at a recorder, hurrying through a weapons check. 

 “Did I do something to piss you off?” I asked. 

 “Besides waking me up in the small hours of the morning to facilitate your weird-ass foreplay, you mean?” 

 “This isn’t…!” 

 With an exasperated sigh, I strode for the Packhorse’s hatch with Leski’s smirk catching my eye on the way. 

 “It kind of is,” she said in sub-vocals. 

 “Not this time!” I hissed through my teeth. 

 “Ok. I’ll give you that.” 

 With a chuckle, she pulled a length of cloth over her nose and mouth, leaving her hood down. 

 “Fifteen seconds, people,” Damari called. 

 At the hatch, Korix raised an eyebrow at me. 

 “When are you planning on sharing our objective?” he asked. 

 “On the ground,” I said, “where a certain inquisitive asshole can’t eavesdrop.” 

 “You wound me, LV,” Damari said. “Now, get the fuck off my ship.” 

 The hatch popped open, and I made a running leap out of it. For the space of a heartbeat, empty air accepted me like a long-lost brother before tossing me and my family toward the ground. Below us, the world was black with a dense cluster of firelight taking center stage. 

 That was our goal. 

 I was grateful that it was night, even if we’d had to take the long way to Ibis while chasing it around the globe. It hid how far we were above solid ground, which meant I didn’t have to quash an inevitable panic attack. It didn’t matter how old I got or how many drops I made. Heights fucking terrified me. 

 Once I was on the ground, I pulled my hood up, same as Leski and Korix, and congregated us between two buildings, somewhere people might overlook three Lutovish dressed like assassins. 

 “Why are we in Daka?” Korix asked. “Last time I checked, Escad was still the perfectly subservient nation that we force them to be.” 

 His tone was acid, burning me, and I winced. 

 “I apologized for bringing you to Ibis before we left,” I said. “I know you don’t like working here, but it’s where I need to be.” 

 “Ignore him, love. You know that hostility isn’t for you,” Leski said. “What’s the mission?” 

 Sighing, I rubbed my face, hiding it. 

 “Escad’s resistance is due for its once-a-decade cleansing,” I said, “but this time around, Vaessa doesn’t have enough information to use their trackers’ kill commands when wiping them out and… Mother Time, I hate my role sometimes.” 

 “Vaessa wants you to make an example of them,” Korix said. 

 I nodded. Hell, why had I brought them on this mission? I had plenty of others waiting for my attention. They might not be as high priority, but they still needed to be finished. 

 But when Leski wrapped her arms around me, I had my answer. I’d needed their support for this. Badly. 

 “You know…” Korix drawled. “Vaessa wouldn’t like it, but we could do this like we did the Zalfari wipe during year seven of your training. Make it a game.” 

 I barely contained a snicker at that memory. 

 “Oh, Mother Time, Talira looked like she was going to pop a vein when we came home from that one,” I said, “and you said… what was it again?” 

 “‘My kuvesk required practice with unarmed combat. He won’t be much of a Lokke Vitras if he can’t kill someone with his bare hands.’ Or something like that,” Korix said. “To be fair, you did need the practice.” 

 “And you told me not to kill anyone,” I said. “I understand why, though. Both of us were pretty heartsick then.” 

 Before either of us could get too maudlin over the far-distant past, Leski cleared her throat, wrinkling her nose above the cloth covering it. 

 “Mind cluing me in?” she said. 

 Whoops. 

 Squeezing her, I said, “Sorry, love. Korix is suggesting that we clean the resistance out non-lethally. Let Vaessa handle the unconscious Escadese we leave behind.” 

 “Meaning they’ll still die,” Leski said. “We’ll just rough them up first.” 

 I winced. How did she always find a way to put things in perspective? 

 “They were dead the second they joined a resistance,” Korix said. “Vaessa allows Ibis’ resistances to persist so they can draw out dissidents, but every ten years, the House triggers the kill commands in the rebels’ trackers. Sometimes, though, they assign the problem to the Lokke Vitras, and if they send Zae in…” 

 “It means they don’t know which people belong to the resistance,” I said, “which means…” 

 I waved for Leski to finish the sentence, and when she followed along our line of reasoning, as she’d learned to do over the years, her eyes widened. 

 “Oh. Oh!” she said. “Knock them out to complete the mission and if any of them wake up before Vaessa gets to them, they live.” 

 Korix and I nodded while Leski giggled. 

 “Of course you two found a way to save lives during a mandated wipe,” she said. “So, you mentioned a game. What is it?” 

 Shrugging, Korix inclined his head to me. 

 “Ask him,” he said. “It was originally his idea.” 

 When Leski raised an eyebrow at me, I explained. 

 “Everyone starts out with one hundred points. Every draw of a weapon deducts ten points, all unnecessarily inflicted injuries deduct five, and killing someone deducts fifty. At the end, we tally how many people we downed. The one with the most to their name gets twenty-five points added to their score. Whoever has the highest score wins.” 

 “And what does the winner get?” Leski asked. 

 Meeting Korix’s eyes, I smiled. This memory brought with it nothing but warmth in my core. 

 “One day in bed, the loser to serve at the victor’s every whim, and I do mean all of them,” Korix said. 

 “Oo,” Leski purred. “Have you two played this game often?” 

 “Not as often as we might like,” Korix said with his eye still glued to mine. 

 “And who, might I ask, won after the Zalfari wipe you mentioned?” Leski asked. 

 Tearing my gaze off of Korix, I grinned at my wife, wondering if my eyes were twinkling as much as I thought they were. 

 “Wouldn’t you like to know?” I teased. “So? Are you in?” 

 Tapping the side of her face, Leski said, “Hmm. Let me think. I might get the chance to have both of you at my mercy for a day? Hell yes, I’m in.” 

 With a soft chuckle, Korix rubbed his forehead. 

 “Our poor kid…” 

 I swatted his shoulder. 

 “Hey! We can be discreet when we have to be and besides! With us as parents, our kid will have a comprehensive understanding of a healthy sex life,” I said. “That’s important, no matter how much people don’t like to think about it.” 

 “And if the kid doesn’t want a sex life?” Leski asked. 

 “Then…” 

 That was a good question, one I’d never considered before. 

 “Then, we make sure they know that’s fine too,” I said before making a face. “Mother Time, you two can be distracting sometimes. Can we go?” 

 “You’re the Lokke Vitras,” Leski said. “We serve at your command.” 

 At her tone, I sucked in a gasp with lightning zapping through me, leaving my fingers twitching. I could grab her, pin her to a wall, and kiss her. We had time. I could run my hands all over her body… 

 With a low groan, I shook my head. 

 “Did I say you were distracting sometimes? I meant all the damn time,” I said. “Let’s go before this mission turns into the three of us fucking in an alley.” 

 “Sounds fun,” Korix said. 

 Shutting off the world, I took a deep breath, and when I let it back in, their eyes were pinched with restrained laughter. 

 “I hate you both,” I sourly said. 

 “Aw… we love you too,” Leski said. 

 “Yeah, you remember that after I win this game, and you’re mine for a day.” 

 In an abrupt about-face, I left the alley, leading the way to our goal.

Chapter 5: When Fighting Together Is Love 2
As I glided onto the street, I hoped my desperate need for my partners’ imparted comfort hadn’t been shining from me as we’d spoken, just as I hoped it hadn’t been why Korix had brought up our old game. There was a reason I’d been putting off my responsibilities for a few days now. It was the same reason I’d delayed a check-in chat with Korix earlier tonight. 

 Simply put, I couldn’t take much more at the moment. 

 But Leski and Korix were helping me in my struggle for a healthy balance, whether knowingly or not. The promise of a child, my child, had also served as a life-line, hauling me back in. This, how they saved me, was the reason that I’d insisted on keeping my loved ones in my life, despite the disapproval of nearly everyone in Lutov. 

 Also, I was perfectly aware of how callous we were acting about tonight’s soon-to-come violence. Unfortunately, there came a point in every life—or every life like mine—where the one living it simply could not acknowledge the harm they were causing anymore. For their own sanity, such a person learned to apply false cheer to their actions, forcibly ignoring how awful it was. 

 And of course, I couldn’t do much to change tonight’s wipe. The Lokke Vitras might hold more ‘freedom’ than everyone else in Lutov, but they were also the most bound by society. 

 In other words, yes. This role let me get away with a lot of bullshit, but there was a line that I absolutely could not cross, not without risking severe consequences. I already skirted it more than I should, and I did not want to throw my life away for a cause or a people who couldn’t currently be saved. If their circumstances changed enough to give them a chance at gaining freedom from us, I’d consider helping the children of Ibis, but I couldn’t make a move until then. 

 Crossing Daka didn’t take us long, and when we reached the resistance’s first safe house, I glanced over the small building. It looked like any other home in this city, but I knew better. 

 Vaessa kept a careful eye on Ibis’ resistances, part of their duty to keep this continent stable, and I got a detailed report on them every month. Because of this, I knew which of these seemingly innocuous homes actually housed dissidents, for the most part. 

 I didn’t presume to have identified them all. Children of Ibis were fucking smart, consistently coming up with new and clever ways to hide their activities from me and the homeland, but unfortunately, this worked in our favor. The safehouses that I didn’t know about, the resistance members who slept with their families tonight, and the satellite hideouts flung across Escad? These would serve as the base that the resistance could rebuild on, and we wanted them to do that. 

 Mother Time help me if House Vaessa decided they wanted to wipe all of the resistances out of their domain. I didn’t think that was possible, not after the centuries that we’d allowed them to grow, but the Lokke Vitras was supposed to be one with the impossible. I would run myself into the ground trying to fulfill their expectations. 

 With my head canted to the side, I examined my current target while my array used the heat signatures found inside to project the location of the building’s occupants into my vision. While I waited for Korix and Leski to finish their initial scans as well, I created a file to share with them. Currently, all it held was: K-100, L-100, and Z-100, but I expected those numbers to quickly change. A lot of people were waiting for us in this safehouse. More than I’d expected. 

 “Love, you take the front. Ko, you come in from the north entrance,” I said over a direct connection. “I’ve got the upper floor. Move in on my mark.” 

 “Confirm,” they said. 

 As they slunk to their proper starting positions, I took off for the building beside the safehouse. At its wall, I kicked up it—once, twice—and on the last of these, I took hold of the roof’s eave. Hauling myself up and over, I rolled to my feet, soundlessly sprinting for the safehouse. 

 When my feet had no more adobe to consume, I hurtled through the air toward my target building, curling my fingers around the straw and wood-beam base of its roof when I landed. Once atop it, I carefully crawled to the roof’s peak, perching over a two-story drop. 

 On scanning the building beneath me, I noted that nothing significant had changed, and my partners were in position, waiting for me. 

 Closing my eyes, I took a slow breath in and out, boiling out apprehension and self-disgust and feeling from me until I’d reached the state that was most essential for everyone in House Kolb. Mission mode achieved. 

 With my eyes still closed, I said, “Mark.” 

 Swinging off of the roof, I crashed through the shutters of the window below me, tackling the woman behind it. When we hit the floor, her breath whooshed from her, and seizing her skull, I smashed it into the wood slats until her eyes rolled into the back of her head. 

 On my feet, I stalked down the corridor. When a man emerged into it, I was waiting for him. I spun him in place, pushing him into a wall, before pressing my forearm into his neck. Ignoring his punches and kicks, I concentrated on where I was applying pressure. 

 Before he could slump into unconsciousness, he plucked a knife from somewhere on his body, desperately stabbing at my eye, but I quickly disarmed him. He drooped soon after that, sliding down the wall when I released him. 

 Palming a sedative hypo, I glided into a room where a couple, locked around each other, had somehow not woken up from the noise filling this safehouse, and two jabs later, the upper floor was clear. I hurried to a ladder, jumping through the hole at the top of it. 

 An analysis of my new surroundings revealed several unconscious people on the floor with Leski wrestling another one nearby. She had the fight well in hand, but another hostile was sneaking up on her with a sword raised above his head. 

 Without thought, I tossed my newly collected knife at him, and it buried to the hilt in his shoulder. Hissing, he stumbled, giving Leski enough time to finish with her opponent before turning on the next, all while I deducted five points from my score. 

 Panting, Leski shot a glare at me while rising from her straddle of the man. 

 “Only five?” she asked. “Shouldn’t it be fifteen?” 

 “Technically, I never drew that knife,” I said. “I got it off a resistance member.” 

 Leski looked down her nose at me until I deducted another ten points with a sigh. On the tail end of our exchange, Korix strode into the room. 

 “You two ok?” he asked. 

 “Fine,” Leski said. 

 “A little bruised,” I said. “I’ll live.” 

 Besides, these pesky injuries would soon be gone. 

 “Right. Everyone add up your body count and we’ll…” 

 Frowning, Korix glanced at me. 

 “How did you already lose points?” he asked. 

 With a grin, I retrieved my new knife, waving it in the air. 

 “Instincts are powerful things, Ko,” I said. “We should hurry up, though. We still have several safehouses left, and when Damari dropped us off, they seemed eager to get home.” 

 Wincing, Leski said, “And we really don’t want to upset them.” 

 “No, we don’t.” 

 So, we moved out, making a circuit of Daka. The numbers in my tally changed with every clash, but by the time we were finished, they stood at: K-95, Leski-75, and Z-80. The best part of the game had yet to come, though. 

 Jittering with barely contained glee, Leski asked, “So? Final body counts? Mine’s twenty-one.” 

 “Hang on,” I said, lifting a finger. “Let me contact our ride.” 

 I’d already sent a direct connection request, and until Damari accepted it, Leski viciously tapped her fingers on her thigh while Korix crossed his arms. 

 “‘Sup, LV?” Damari soon asked. 

 “We’re all done here,” I said. “Ready for pick up.” 

 “Awesome,” Damari said. “On my way. ETA three minutes.” 

 “Thank you.” 

 “Yeah, yeah.” 

 When they cut the connection, I refocused on my family. 

 “So, you brought down twenty-one, which prospectively puts you at ninety-five points,” I said, pointing at Leski. “What’s your number, Ko?” 

 “Sixteen,” Korix said. 

 At my incredulous look, he shrugged. 

 “I was taking it easy,” he said. “What about you, Zae?” 

 How should I answer that question? If I told the truth, I’d win our little game, and I wasn’t sure I wanted that. If we left our scores as they were, however, I’d have eighty points while they’d be tied with ninety-five a piece and… 

 What could I say? Something about a day devoted to their pleasure appealed to me on a deep level right now. Since I’d basically won, could I instead choose to lose? 

 Wincing, I said, “Twenty.” 

 With a delighted giggle, Leski pattered her hands together. 

 “I win!” she chirped. 

 Shaking my head at her antics, I said, “So does Ko.” 

 Hugging himself, Korix was watching me with a pleasantly neutral expression in place. 

 “Yes,” he drawled, “we win.” 

 “Which means we get to have you at our mercy soon,” Leski said. 

 When she jabbed me in the side, I softly smiled, enjoying her unbridled enthusiasm. 

 “The next day I have free,” I said. 

 “Oh, it’ll be so much fun,” Leski said. 

 She had a faraway look in her eyes, probably imagining all the things she’d make me do, and huffing, I plucked her mag hook off of her belt, pressing it into her hand. 

 “Damari will be here any minute,” I said. “You can celebrate your victory once we’re in the air.” 

 She made a face at me but prepared herself anyway, and as I withdrew my mag hook, I noted that Korix was still watching me. When I cocked my head at him, he broke eye contact, and I got only a few seconds to wonder why he’d done that before the strike ship swooped over Daka, dragging us behind it. 

 I received a message from him while we were in the air. 

 What was your actual number? it read. 

 Trust Korix to catch me in a lie, even one as minor as this. Would I ever get something past him? 

 Thirty-eight, I replied. 

 After a pause, Korix sent, That’s more what I expected. 

 Was he angry? I hardly ever lied to him or Leski, even when doing that would be so much easier sometimes. The few times I did were similar to this instance, small things that only benefited them. That I chose to benefit them. They rarely benefited me as well. 

 As I steadied myself on the Packhorse’s wall with its hatch closing behind me, I tracked Korix’s stride to the alcove we’d occupied earlier. 

 I’m sorry. Sometimes, I get tired of the expectation that I’ll be the best at everything, and I hate winning all the time, I sent. Still. I should have just said that instead of making it complicated. 

 Glancing back at me, Korix gave a slight headshake before collapsing in his chosen spot. 

 “Are you two joining me or not?” he asked. 

 Leski skipped toward him, almost face-planting when the strike ship shuddered, and I followed at a much slower pace. When she flopped into Korix’s arms, he found me over her head, and his eyes crinkled at the look on my face. 

 ‘Not upset,’ he mouthed before extending a hand to me. 

 With a weight lifting off of my shoulders, I sank to my knees in front of them, interlacing my fingers with Korix’s while pressing my lips to Leski’s mouth. Korix peppered her cheek with kisses, making her giggle, and pulling away, I breathed the source of our joy into the hollow our faces made. 

 “We’re going to be parents.” 

 There was a breath where the three of us considered everything this would entail, our hopes and fears and desperately desired vision for the future, and then, Korix broke it with a huff. 

 “It’s about damn time,” he said. 

 As I shivered at the curse on his tongue, Leski laughed, pushing me over. I toppled beside Korix, and beaming, she put one knee between my legs and another between his before pulling them together. 

 “We’ll be great at it,” she said. 

 And while I was terrified of the opposite, I still knew this to be true. 

 With his hand in her hair, Korix dragged Leski down beside him, and while her yelp quickly became a pleased hum, I walked my fingers along her leg and hip, admiring the arch of them. I meant to make another trail along the inside of her thigh, but a voice snapped through the Packhorse’s belly, jerking us apart. 

 “I swear to Mother Time. If you make me clean up another mess on my ship, I’m never taking the three of you anywhere again,” Damari said. “I know you’re, like, the most sex-crazed people in Lutov, but fucking save it ‘til we get home. You know I don’t like excessive displays of affection.” 

 Which made it unfortunate that they’d befriended us. When together, my partners and I were almost always touching one another, and it was hard to remember that we should control ourselves around Damari. 

 With a wince, I said, “Sorry. Nothing more than light cuddling for the rest of the way home. I promise.” 

 There was a slight pause and then. 

 “I’ll pay as little attention to those recorders as possible, then.” 

 “Thank you, Damari!” Leski called. 

 Clicking their tongue, Damari said, “Whatever. Assholes, the lot of you.” 

 But they left us alone. 

 Rolling to my side, I settled next to Korix. I left my hand curled on his chest, near where Leski had sprawled herself. She brushed her fingers through my hair while talking with Korix, and I let their words bloom and fade in my ears, uncomprehending of anything but the deep sense of comfort that my partners imbued. 

 When I took up this mantle, I hadn’t been sure what to expect. I’d known that my life would be hard, impossible even, but I’d been willing to endure it if it meant that Korix would be freed from a role that had been slowly breaking him. I’d been willing to hand myself over in sacrifice to Lutov, letting the spark of my soul be forever stained, but I hadn’t known what my life would become. 

 It turned out that being the Lokke Vitras wasn’t so bad. 

 The strike ship rocked around me. My partners’ words hummed a song that only they could weave in the air, and with Leski smoothing my hair against my scalp, I let my eyes droop and fall closed.

Chapter 6: Politics Are the Worst
Mother Time, I hated assembles. They were pointless, a complete waste of time, but even still, the Houses’ shukusenth and First Strata came together every month, rotating our meeting spot between the six headquarters. 

 Today, we were halfway up Kirst’s tower, and its shukusen, Orin, was doing his damnedest to wrangle Raelle and Arion, the leaders of Vaessa and Zan respectively, free of a heated argument. 

 “Nobody’s questioning Zan’s need for test subjects, especially ones with a similar physiology to ours,” he said, “but Raelle’s right. If you intend to focus so heavily on research into magic and the bloodsong, perhaps more resources should go to Vaessa instead of Ostiu.” 

 Bristling, Arion said, “My people are barely getting enough as it is! How do you expect us…?” 

 And I tuned out. It was more of the same, the Houses squabbling to keep themselves in greater positions of power. 

 I understood what these assemblies were meant to accomplish, applauded the idea even. The Houses needed a space where they could air their problems with one another, but long before I’d earned my place here, these assemblies had become long meetings where the shukusenth only argued, and considering how little the First Strata got to speak, who knew why we were required to attend them? 

 Already bored out of my mind, I glanced over the room, fighting to keep from fidgeting. As Lutov’s leaders, the shukusenth got the pleasure of a chair around today’s table with their heirs standing behind them. My shukusen, Talira, looked as bored as I felt, sprawling in her seat while tapping a pen on the table. To her left at Marza, Drav’s head of House, and I couldn’t help the flash of resentment that rose at the sight of her, so soon after the reminder of how long she’d delayed my family’s application for a child. Next to her was Orin, whose face was red and flustered, and Raelle was leaning over the arm of the chair beside him to shout in his ear. 

 I skipped over the person to Raelle’s left, avoiding anything Cerullis-related when I could. When around members of that House, I had to pace myself. Screaming hatred still threatened to push me into attack mode, even this long after the Ancients Crisis. 

 Fortunately, the next person in the circle soothed that wrath. Not Arion, practically seething in his seat. No, my source of relief was my brother, rigidly standing at his shukusen’s elbow. 

 He caught me looking at him, and with a grin tugging on his lips, he mimed a flapping mouth with the hand he had hidden behind his back. I raised an eyebrow. 

 You realize that’s your superior you’re mocking, right? I sent to him. 

 He answered with a slight shrug before I received his message. 

 So? it read. What will you do about it, Lokke Vitras? 

 Wincing, I sent, You know I don’t like you calling me that, Phen. 

 I hated even the slightest reminder that I might one day have to harm my family. 

 Rolling his eyes, Pheniks returned his attention to the argument, one that was building into a conflict I might need to mediate, but I wasn’t done with him. Bending over Talira, I pulled paper off of the pad she was using to take notes. I didn’t know why she liked handwriting them instead of recording them in her array, but in this case, I was grateful for the oddity. 

 As soon as I moved, the room’s heated hostility dropped to ice with every eye fixing on me. 

 “Excuse me,” I said into the silence. 

 It took a while for the shukusenth’s conversation to gain traction again, several tense heartbeats where I tore a strip off of my claimed paper and rolled it into a ball. 

 “Perhaps Arion has made a good point. We certainly don’t want a revolt in Ostiu,” Raelle eventually said. “If you let some of my people work from that nation, though, we could help with preventing a disaster like that.” 

 Scoffing, Arion said, “As if you have such a great track record with preventing revolts.” 

 And so it went. 

 As soon as our leaders had become embroiled in an argument again, I flicked my paper ball at Pheniks’ ear. When it hit, he jumped before glaring at me. 

 Say you’re sorry, I sent to him. 

 His face reddened. 

 For what? 

 Using my title instead of my name, of course, I sent. 

 With a huff, Pheniks faced the table once more. 

 Stop acting like a child, his message read. 

 I flicked another missile at him in response, and swatting where it had impacted, he jerked toward me. 

 Mother Time, Zae. Could you, for once in your life, act like you’re supposed to? 

 From the set of his shoulders, I could almost hear the hiss that my brother wanted to unleash, so I stuck my tongue out at him. 

 No, I sent. Say you’re sorry. 

 Oh, my fuck, really? 

 Almost fully turned my way, Pheniks gritted his teeth at me. 

 Fine, his message read. I’m sorry, Zae. 

 Someone cleared their throat, which had Pheniks spinning toward the shukusenth, and I did the same much more languidly. Nearly all of them were staring at us, but Talira was leaning on the table with her face in her hands, which I just loved seeing. 

 “Do our newest members have something to share?” Orin asked. 

 Coughing, Pheniks opened his mouth to apologize, but I cut him off. 

 “Not at all,” I said. “I asked for clarification from First Stratus Pheniks regarding an appeal that House Zan made of me. You looked quite busy shouting at one another, so I thought I’d use the moment to make productive use of my time. Pheniks was only responding to me, as he should.” 

 Silence reigned for a moment with Raelle and Arion turning purple in the face. The rest looked on with bemusement. 

 “I… see,” Orin said. “Perhaps we should reconvene at a later date. Every issue we’ve raised this month has been something the Houses can work out individually. Unless someone has an item that affects everyone here?” 

 Most of the people around the table had nothing to say, indifferent to the proposed early dismissal, and I gleefully considered what to do with the extra time that I might soon gain. 

 “Um… I do, actually,” a tremulous voice said. “If it’s not too much of a bother.” 

 Considering how rarely her voice was heard during an assembly, the shukusenth and their First Strata turned on Sanya with no small amount of surprise. For my part, I controlled my grimace as I focused on the new leader of House Cerullis. 

 I had no clue how Cerullis had regained so much of its power in the last one hundred years, almost all while under this woman’s leadership. She shrunk under the weight of the room’s gazes, attempting to merge with her chair, and I thought she might give up on voicing her issue, but silently, her First Stratus stepped forward to rest a hand on her shoulder. His touch shuddered life into her frozen form, and she straightened. 

 “I’m officially requesting for our strictures on space travel to be lifted,” she said. “Over the past several centuries, members of my House have been making alarming observations about our sun. We’ve recorded enough of them to establish an unmistakable pattern and-” 

 “I’m sorry. Did you seriously just ask to send people into space?” Arion asked. “Why, for the love of Mother Time, would you want to take up such a defunct field of study again?” 

 I would also like an answer to this question, if for the opposite reason as House Zan’s shukusen . If Lutov stretched its fingers into the vast mysteries of space, I would love it, but considering how most of our society viewed that realm, I was curious why Sanya had taken an interest in it. 

 Almost everyone else seemed to agree with Arion’s incredulousness, although Pheniks had cocked his head like he did when stumbling onto an interesting puzzle. 

 Stiffly, Sanya said, “Perhaps you’d like to look at the relevant data before dismissing my suggestion.” 

 For a moment, all I could do was blink at her. In the ninety or so years since she’d become a shukusen, Sanya had acted as the timid newcomer, striving to make up for her predecessor’s mistakes, so this example that she had a spine? I liked it. 

 Maybe it was time to let go of my ill will toward Cerullis. The House was far removed from what it had once been, after all. In fact, it was the only one that tended to work with the others instead of squabbling, which I’d have enjoyed more if my hatred hadn’t blinded me to it. Huh. 

 Absently, I pulled up my to-do list, adding a visit with shukusen Sanya to the top of it. 

 “That would be wise,” Talira said. “Why don’t you send us your files, Sanya? We can review them and discuss your request at our next assembly. Acceptable?” 

 Slumping, Sanya nodded, and while the shukusenth returned to ignoring her, I watched her First Stratus gently squeeze her shoulder before retreating. Hmm. That was… interesting. 

 “Well, then,” Orin said. “Unless someone else would like to spring a surprise request on us, I call this assembly adjourned.” 

 When no one protested, those gathered broke apart. Various attendees clumped together for small talk or left, depending on their schedules. Getting Pheniks’ attention, I jerked my head for him to join me, but he held up a finger before bending to murmur in Arion’s ear. 

 “I hate these damn assemblies,” Talira said, stretching her arms overhead. 

 “They do seem rather pointless,” I said. 

 Standing, Talira gathered her things. 

 “That’s no excuse for starting trouble, my Lokke Vitras.” 

 As Talira turned to me, I shrugged one shoulder. She should be used to vexing behavior from me by now. 

 “What did you think of shukusen Sanya’s concern?” I asked. 

 “I’m not sure what to make of it yet. I’ll have to gather more details before forming an opinion. It’s definitely strange, though,” she said. “Your thoughts?” 

 “The same,” I said. “I’d like to look into it. Unless you object, my shukusen?” 

 Talira narrowed her eyes at me. 

 “Don’t you have enough on your plate?” she asked. “Your recent missions have been completed in a… sluggish manner.” 

 Considering who was around us and where we were, I had only one way to answer that question. 

 With a brilliant smile, I said, “I know my limits, my shukusen.” 

 “Do you, though?” 

 I snapped my head to Pheniks, silently willing my little brother to shut up. I might flaunt the typical Lokke Vitras decorum, but there were some things one just didn’t do in Lutovish society, like calling the person who held my role into question. Unfortunately, Pheniks kept talking. 

 “You’ll run yourself ragged without someone to keep you in check.” 

 With a tight smile, I said, “First Stratus Pheniks, I’m sure I don’t know what you mean.” 

 Frowning, Pheniks said, “Why are you talking so…? Oh, right. Shit.” 

 He rubbed the back of his neck before bowing to me. 

 “Please forgive me for doubting you, Lokke Vitras.” 

 Wincing, I lightly punched Pheniks’ shoulder. 

 “Get up. It’s all right,” I said. 

 When Pheniks shot upright, his face was still pink, and Talira shook her head at us both. 

 “Grandsons,” she said to herself. 

 Ignoring her, Pheniks said, “Did you need something?” 

 Damnit, now it was my turn to be awkward. 

 “Yes, actually,” I said. “I was hoping… That is to say, if you both have time…” 

 How the hell did I do this? I’d had parties at my place before, of course, but none had been like the one I had planned for tonight. 

 Raising an eyebrow, Talira drawled, “Yes?” 

 Fuck it. 

 “I’d like it if you joined me and my family for dinner this evening. Ko and I will be cooking, and Leski has entertainment of some sort planned,” I said. “I’ve already invited the rest of the family and a few friends. You’re the last two on the list.” 

 Both of them blankly stared at me, which I found surprising. I’d thought at least Talira would know what my invitation had actually meant. 

 “Rank of import from one to ten,” she said. 

 In other words, should she abandon her duties for the day? 

 Apparently, Talira’s typical omniscience when it came to me had taken a break today, although I wasn’t sure why she hadn’t guessed the purpose of tonight’s party. In answer to her question, though, I turned to her, pouring deadly seriousness from me. 

 “Ten,” I said. 

 She pulled back with a small gasp while Pheniks’ eyes widened. Not only had I never hosted a family dinner, but they must see how badly I wanted them there. They could see that they shouldn’t refuse this request, even knowing I wouldn’t blame them if they did. And they knew I’d never asked for them to attend one of my social events, not even the wedding between me and Leski. Not that my reticence had stopped them from attending most of them anyway. 

 “I’ll rearrange my schedule,” Talira said. “If you’ll excuse me, I need to request a few direct connections.” 

 She scurried out the door while the remaining shukusenth watched, and I turned to my brother. With a rueful grin, Pheniks clasped my shoulder. 

 “Of course I’ll be there,” he said. 

 And a knot in my stomach unraveled. 

 “Fantastic,” I said. “I’ll see you later tonight, then? I mean, I guess I will but-” 

 A message flashed in my array as Pheniks squeezed where he was touching me. 

 You will, Zae, it read. Go. Finish what you need to do. 

 Damnit, why was my family like this? I didn’t deserve them. 

 “I thank you for your time, First Stratus,” was what I said to Pheniks. 

 Thank you, little brother. I love you, was what I sent. 

 With a short bow, I raced around Pheniks and out the door. Notifying Korix and Leski about my availability, I waited for them to tell me what still needed to be done. While in the capital, I’d help them however I could before heading home, giving myself plenty of time to prepare. 

 Tonight must be perfect, after all.

Chapter 7: Let's Get This Party Started!
Nerves set in when our guests started arriving. 

 It was strange for me because I loved social gatherings like this. I loved the energy of people coming together to commune in one way or another. I loved the attention that was paid to me. But this time, my palms were sweating when I greeted the first guest to arrive: one of Leski’s more casual partners. 

 I was on door duty since Korix was finishing dinner and Leski was running around the house, making sure it was secure. So, I made my rounds between a sitting room and the foyer, easing new arrivals into existing conversations while welcoming my family’s partners and friends. 

 When blood family started arriving, my already sweaty hands started shaking, no matter how hard I tried to control them. These people flowed by in a blur. 

 Talira, who was polite enough to keep from commenting on the jitteriness that only she should see. 

 Niklaus, who I hadn’t seen in decades. After so many years with them never talking, I wasn’t sure why Leski had invited him. True to form, his face twisted when I bowed to him, the only way I knew to greet him anymore, and once social niceties were completed, he stalked to a corner where he could brood and sneer at our guests. 

 Feena, who clasped my shoulders and kissed my cheeks with a bright smile. 

 Mom and dad, who nervously accepted my hugs as if afraid I’d retract them. Our relationships had gradually improved since the Ancients Crisis, but like I’d told them, it wasn’t the same. Stiffness infected everything we did. When we were together, I was constantly analyzing my behavior for hostility, and it was exhausting, as I knew it must be for them as well. Hence, why we didn’t visit one another often. 

 Once they'd joined with the crowd, I slipped away to find an empty corner. After checking that I was alone, I shook out my arms before rubbing them. 

 I didn’t know what was wrong with me. Behind my breastbone, my heart was leaping far too violently, and my mouth was way too fucking dry. It didn’t matter how much water I drank; I was still parched. I hadn’t felt this way since… 

 Since the wedding, actually. Despite how much Leski and I had considered the damn ceremony an imposition, we’d poured a lot of time and effort into it, and throughout it, I’d obsessively worried about the things that could go wrong. 

 This dinner was the same, except I actually cared about how it went, and it was so fucking stupid. Whether these people enjoyed themselves tonight or not shouldn’t matter. How they received our news shouldn’t matter because I already had everything I needed on that front with Leski and Korix. 

 Where were they? I needed one of them, the two people I implicitly trusted, to tell me everything would be ok. 

 “Hey, LV! I thought I might find you here.” 

 Taking a deep breath, I shoved these sticky feelings below the surface and turned on Third Stratus Damari with a smile. They advanced on me in their typical, aggressive manner with a bounce in their step, and I did a quick examination of them, always curious how they were presenting themselves. It changed near daily, and they’d never seemed to mind my scrutiny. 

 Tonight, loose slacks hung from their hips while a severe jacket with a fem cut concealed a plain shirt. Their hair—orange today—was cut short, shorter than most Lutovish liked it, and a strong jaw—that was new—accented their full lips. 

 Lifting an eyebrow, Damari said, “Like what ya see?” 

 “You look fantastic, as usual,” I said as they came to a stop. “When did you get here? 

 “Oh, maybe two minutes ago,” Damari said. “I went looking for you as soon as I saw you weren’t at the door. How’re ya doing?” 

 I winced. Even after decades of knowing them, I wasn’t used to how blunt my friend could be, especially when it came to emotions. Most people in House Kolb would rather pretend that feelings didn’t exist, using cold formality to mask them, and I’d emulated that behavior since I was a child. If I was to fit in, I’d had to. So, Damari’s insistence on acting otherwise could be jarring, if also appreciated. 

 “I’ll be fine,” I said. “You don’t need to worry about me.” 

 In a blur, Damari snatched my chin, turning my head from side to side, while ignoring the knife I’d palmed. 

 Clicking their tongue, they said, “You’re lying.” 

 Releasing me, they rocked back on their heels, folding one arm over their chest while pressing their fingers to their lips. Meanwhile, I returned my knife to its hidden sheath. 

 “And if I am?” I asked. 

 They just kept staring at me before sharply nodding. Stepping into my space, they tilted their head up with their blue eyes flashing, I held perfectly still, aware this wasn’t an invitation—this was Damari, after all—but unsure what else they could be doing. 

 Resting their hands on their hips, they said, “Zaeden.” 

 All of my focus zeroed on my friend. They almost never used my name. Once they were sure they had my attention, they continued. 

 “Zaeden, tonight will be a blast. Everything will be fine, so please don’t have a fucking panic attack in a fucking corner. Come join your party and have some fun.” 

 I took a shuddering breath. For how brash and colorful Damari could be, I forgot how perceptive they were, which was silly. It and their adequacy as a pilot were why they were so high Strata. 

 And they were right. I needed to let things happen as they would. Knowing how much preparation had gone into this dinner, a disaster was unlikely to occur. So, I slowly breathed out before cocking my head. 

 “Third Stratus, are you telling me what to do?” I asked. 

 Grinning, Damari skipped backward. 

 “I’d never,” they said. “The great Lokke Vitras would never need my help, perfect as he is.” 

 …At some point, I needed to figure out why they’d never been afraid of me. 

 “You’re damn right I am,” I said. 

 With my chin loftily raised, I skirted around Damari, careful not to touch them, and stalked back toward my guests. When we reached them, my friend joined their crowded mush, somehow finding the empty spaces between clumps, but I kept to the edge for a moment, observing. 

 Pheniks had arrived at some point during my time away. On catching my eye, he grinned with a wave, which I returned, before resuming a conversation with one of my dating partners. 

 Glancing over the rest, I frowned. I’d known this, having reviewed the guest list, but it still bothered me that everyone here was an invite of either Leski’s or mine. Korix liked his solitary life, or so he claimed, but I couldn’t help a twinge of melancholy, knowing that he had no one to share our news with. 

 After finding him and Leski, I headed their way. As I approached, wandering notes swelled above their spoken counterparts, twisting into a definitive song, and I smiled. That was my wife. She couldn’t go for long at a party without indulging someone’s request for a performance, which was why I’d had the piano transferred here earlier today. Between people, I caught glimpses of her, swaying on the bench, with Korix leaning on the wall beside her, and I quickened my step. 

 “-sad really. All these people and no one’s here for him.” 

 Stopping short, I looked for the voice that had echoed my thoughts from not a moment before, landing on a mixed group. Given that I only vaguely recognized them, I had to wonder why they were here. Were they someone’s plus one or a few of Leski’s partners that I hadn’t met? Either way, they were watching my Korix and Leski with their arms crossed and a downward pull to their lips. 

 “Is it that surprising, though?” a sandy-haired man said. “I mean, he was Kolb’s First Stratus, yes, but he obviously failed to perform as demanded, considering he’s still breathing. No clue why the new Lokke Vitras stays with the old.” 

 This new one might just kick that bastard’s ass before the night was over. 

 Gritting my teeth, I tried to move away from a possible source of conflict, but something had glued my feet to the floor. I was helpless to do anything more than listen as a woman with carefully manicured fingernails spoke up. 

 “I hear he sees things.” 

 The group shuddered. 

 “Is it any surprise that he has barely any friend and no family?” 

 Holy fucking shit, I didn’t know how yet, but I was going to hurt these people who’d speak ill of Korix after everything he’d done for this society. Before I could move toward them, however, someone slid between us. 

 “Forgive me, young ones, but given what I heard, you must have misspoken,” Talira smoothly said. “My once kuvesk has quite a large family, if not the one he was born with. He has a sister in Second Stratus Feena and a brother in First Stratus Pheniks. He has me, which should scare the shit out of you, and if it doesn’t, you should consider the people who live under the same roof as him, one of whom is your Lokke Vitras. All of us love him in our own way, and we protect those we love. You will not disparage him in his own home.” 

 Hell, I wished I could see their faces. I knew the set of Talira’s shoulders and the barely contained violence that she was showing them. To this day, that expression scared me to death, no matter how much I tried to hide it. 

 “I think it’s best if you leave, don’t you?” Talira calmly asked. 

 I smirked at the sheepish retreat of the people she’d addressed, but that faltered when she glanced over her shoulder. 

 Do you want me to hunt you down? she sent in a message. Because attacking the citizens you’re supposed to protect is one of the fastest ways to start me down that path. 

 Ouch. That slap down had hurt. Holding Talira’s gaze, I bowed, maintaining the posture once I was there. 

 My apologies, shukusen, I wrote. 

 Talira rolled her eyes. 

 Stop that. Just remember who you are. Even if you’re home, you carry a role and a title. Now, go to your life partners so I can get back to enjoying this party. 

 Turning on her heel, she vanished into the crowd, and I straightened. How had I let myself lose focus like that? I knew this was home, the only place where I could fully relax, but right now, it also wasn’t. Too many strangers were here for me to let my guard down. 

 When I reached the piano, Leski was still coaxing the most beautiful music from it, and with her fingers flying, she lifted her chin for a kiss, which I obliged. When I rose from it, Korix jerked his head toward where the confrontation had occurred. 

 “What was that about?” he asked. 

 Shaking my head, I said, “You don’t want to know. Is dinner ready?” 

 I loved that he trusted me enough to drop a topic when I suggested it. 

 “Not quite yet,” Korix said. “I’m having drones finish the last part.” 

 Gasping, I flung fingers in front of my mouth. 

 “You aren’t,” I said. 

 “I know,” Leski said. “I was shocked too.” 

 “Is it that surprising?” Korix grumbled. “During your training, you’d finish meal preparations often enough for me.” 

 Glee spiked through me, even as I rested a hand on my hip and donned my most severe expression. 

 “I’m sorry. Are you comparing me to a drone?” I said, pouring outrage into my voice. “I am much prettier than a drone.” 

 The piano’s music cut off as Leski bounced on the bench, giggling. In answer to my mischief, Korix slowly blinked once, but then, he stepped toe-to-toe with me, gripping the back of my neck. 

 “Yes, you are,” he said. 

 He kissed me, full on the mouth, and I smiled. 

 Eventually, a drone floated into the sitting room, flashing until Korix acknowledged it, and the three of us congregated from where we’d wandered to socialize. Together, we led the way to the terrace. 

 We had too many guests for everyone to sit at one table, so several, smaller seating arrangements dotted the terrace’s cobblestone with a glass and steel railing bounding them. A set of stairs led into our small garden, our only imposition on the Southern Fells’ natural landscape. Beyond that, the moors stretched into the dark of night, and if the sun had been struggling to pierce through the mists always found here, one might see the glint of Lake Phiabe. 

 Our guests positioned themselves around the tables with some of them standing behind their chairs, but when I flopped into a seat, they relaxed. I resisted the urge to fidget while everyone made themselves comfortable, glancing over what lay in front of me in the meantime. 

 Drones had arranged food across the table, and it looked amazing. Damn, Korix had outdone himself this time. I hoped someone here would have the good sense to praise him for the effort he’d put into this, much as people had already complimented Leski for her piano playing. 

 One by one, our guests turned to stare at me, and I internally sighed. I hated the idea of a head of household, had always thought it demeaning to everyone else in the home, but in social gatherings like this, someone had to guide events. As the Lokke Vitras, this duty usually fell to me, and while I might typically enjoy the attention I received because of it, our current setting didn’t foster such gratification. 

 I lifted the whiskey sour that had appeared since I’d sat down, scanning the people around me with a smirk. 

 “Let’s get this started, shall we?” I shouted.

Chapter 8: An Announcement
As I drained my drink, a mixture of cheering and laughter blended with the first chords of a whimsical sonata, featuring the Xygek Symphony Orchestra. Many pieces featuring Leski’s performances would play throughout dinner, but once the plates and tables had been cleared away, we’d switch to something more appropriate for dancing. 

 For now, though, we kept the energy level low, and when people sampled Korix’s cooking, inevitably gushing about it, I hid my smile at their astonishment. Who knew that home-cooked meals tasted better than what a refectory could prepare? 

 I might have engaged in small talk during the meal. If so, I didn’t remember it. After that first whiskey sour, I proceeded to get thoroughly drunk, despite the weight of Korix’s disapproval. 

 I didn’t care what he thought. This first half of the evening was my part of tonight’s festivities. 

 So, when only dirty dishes remained on the tables, I jumped to my feet with only a slight sway. As if on cue, the terrace’s light orbs dimmed, turning violet and teal and all the other hues that were expected at a wild party. 

 There was a slight pause in the terrace’s activity, one where Korix gathered everyone who wanted a quieter evening tonight. When his group passed me, his pinched eyes and the tremble in his hands pierced through the haze that was claiming my world, but when I cocked my head at him, he waved me off. I met Leski’s eyes over other people’s heads, catching my worry reflected back to me… 

 But by that point, the music had taken on a steady beat, and as it rose in volume, people rushed into a space cleared of tables and chairs. After finishing my drink, I jumped in too. 

 In Lutov, this was what happens when a group was comfortable enough together. There was no awkward shuffle as to who would first step onto the dance floor. We threw ourselves into it: jumping along to catchy songs, shouting the lyrics of those we knew, swaying and gyrating whether elegantly or clumsily. No one cared who could dance. We were a mash of bodies, set moving by the part of every human that responded to music we enjoyed. 

 Over and around us, drones flew, delivering drinks and snacks, and at some point, I switched from whisky sours to anything that would deepen the buzz in the air and in my brain. With people running into me near constantly, so much liquid spilled over my chin and fingers, and the cobblestones beneath my feet got sticky. My haze took on a shine, one that sparked and glittered from the lights flashing around me, and time sloshed from one moment to the next, each one lengthening or skipping ahead as it pleased. 

 So many hands were on me with each of us needing someone’s touch or at least, a dance partner, and I couldn’t get enough of it. I kissed so many people, both Leski and random strangers. Even normally touch-averse Damari threw their arms around my neck to sloppily slide their mouth along mine, too drunk to care what they were doing. 

 At some point, Leski climbed atop a table on the edge of the terrace, and I watched, slack-mouthed, as she used her typically tame ballet skills to emphasize every curve of her body. Hell, it made me a live wire, and I probably would have stayed there all night if Feena hadn’t dragged me away. 

 Together, we found our brother, awkwardly standing on the sidelines, and taking one of his wrists apiece, we pulled him into the mosh pile. With my siblings, I laughed and danced and teased and thrusted drinks on them both, and we were all too drunk to care about appearances. We weren’t high Strata or the Lokke Vitras. We were unHoused again, sneaking to a club together, young and full of promise with none of the world’s troubles having come to scar us yet. 

 As with every time I’d gone dancing in the past, I slipped off with a pretty someone at some point. I didn’t know their gender or lack of it until we were down the terraces stairs and I pushed her into a wall. I was making out with her when the timer in my array stopped, flashing in an annoying fashion against my closed eyelids, and groaning, I retreated from the woman. 

 “Time’s up,” I said. “Are you ok?” 

 Grinning, she wiped her mouth. 

 “Fine,” she said. “My husband can finish off what you started.” 

 “Good,” I said, meaning it. 

 I kissed her once more before taking her hand, leading her back to the party. As we went, I filtered alcohol out of my bloodstream, silently cursing myself for the gradual return to a clear-headed state. Sending messages to the relevant parties, I stalked into a brightly lit house, wincing, and when my family and friend joined me, I led them to the sitting room where we’d started. 

 The others in my family were comfortably relaxed here, chatting or otherwise entertaining themselves. They seemed content, which loosened a knot of worry in my chest. I’d been afraid they’d get bored while waiting for the party animals. 

 When we filed inside, Kori looked up from where he was speaking with my parents before flying to Leski and me. I swallowed my anxiety, smiling at him while Leski glanced at me from the corner of her eye. When I gave her a slight nod, her body tightened, even as she beamed at our life partner. 

 “How was it?” Korix asked while he approached. “Did you have fun?” 

 Mother Time, his words were running into one another. It wasn’t obvious enough that others would notice, but I’d been with him for almost my entire life. I took his elbow, which had him loosening his stranglehold of his chest. 

 “It was great,” I said. “Thank you for indulging us.” 

 Stretching to my tiptoes, I hovered my mouth beside his ear. 

 “Just so you know, Leski and I are pretty sticky right now,” I whispered. “So, maybe keep your distance until we can shower.” 

 As expected, this had Korix pulling us to him while I chuckled under my breath. 

 “You’ve had your fun, Zae-zae,” Talira sourly said. “Mind telling us why we’re here?” 

 Right. The other people in the room. Hopefully, Korix could hold on a little longer. 

 “We’d love to,” Leski said. “I hope we weren’t too much of an imposition.” 

 “Not at all!” dad said. “It was nice to catch up with the family.” 

 “Good to hear,” I said. 

 Wrestling free of Korix, I swung around him, leading him and Leski to stand in front of those gathered. Somehow, I ended up in the middle of them with no idea of how. I hadn’t planned it that way, but I didn’t mind. Glancing between them, I put the chance to speak before my partners, but Leski only shook her head, lifting her eyes to the ceiling, while Korix squeezed me. 

 Mother Time, I loved them. They always indulged the hungry part of me that craved attention, even for something like this. 

 “As you might have gathered, we have news, an announcement even,” I said. “I believe I told Feena and maybe Phen about this, but about fifty years ago, Leski, Korix, and I started discussing what we wanted out of life. My choices in this are limited, of course, but that didn’t stop us from dreaming and eventually, making plans. So…” 

 Looking over the apprehensive faces turned out way, I bit my lip. What if they decided they wouldn’t support us? This, I realized, was a large part of why I’d almost had a panic attack earlier. 

 “So, after two decades of deliberation, we submitted an application to House Drav, and it was recently approved,” I continued. “In a few years, a little blend of us will be running up and down these halls.” 

 There was a beat of silence while expressions of shock and horror bloomed around us, and my heart plummeted into the earth’s depths. My worst-case scenario was about to come true. 

 When a crunch broke the dead quiet, however, every head whipped toward Damari. Jiggling a handful of nuts from the party in their hand, they finished chewing before broadly smiling. 

 “Cool!” they said. “Can I be the kid’s godparent?” 

 Mother Time bless my friend. I exchanged a glance with Korix and Leski. 

 “I don’t see why not,” Korix said. 

 Beaming, Damari wiggled in place. 

 “Awesome.” 

 “Wait. I’m confused,” Niklaus said from where he was hovering. “Why would the child need a godparent? The three of them—” 

 Damn, he always sounded so disdainful when mentioning my family’s arrangement. 

 “—aren’t like to decide they’re ready for death at the same time. This child won’t need someone to serve as a backup parent.” 

 Sighing under my breath, I shook my head. So damn sheltered. 

 “They’re House Kolb.” 

 That answer had come from everyone else, even Pheniks. Every kid born into a House Kolb family had a godparent named for them. It was rare for all of a child’s biological parents to die during the first twenty-five years of their life, but it did happen, and Kolb was all about contingencies. 

 On the heels of this, Talira said, “That bitch. Marza should have consulted with me about this. No.” 

 She snapped her eyes to mine, rising out of her seat with her finger lifted in accusation. 

 “You should have told me what you were planning,” she said. “I am your  shukusen. You’re supposed to share shit like this with me.” 

 I knew that, but at the time of our application’s submission, I’d been busy. It had slipped my mind. And if I’d conveniently forgotten to mention the application over the three decades of its consideration, I’d done so for a reason, once I was afraid might be fulfilled now. 

 “You don’t approve?” I asked. 

 Would Talira take our child from us before they were born? Would my captivity as the Lokke Vitras prevent Korix and Leski from becoming parents? What would I do if it did? I couldn’t take that from them. 

 Talira gave me a funny look. 

 “What? Mother Time, no,” she said. “I think the Lokke Vitras having a kid is an exceptionally stupid idea, but you, Zaeden, are one with idiotic ideas at times. Over the years, I’ve learned to trust that you know what you’re doing. No, I’m saying that if you’d told be about this, like you should have, we could have worked with Marza on timing.” 

 “Oh.” 

 Yeah, that made sense. Only Talira knew the full picture of what was happening in Lutov. I had a decent view of it, but it wasn’t complete. She might have missions planned for me to undertake, ones she hadn’t mentioned yet… 

 Wait. She approved. No. From the twinkle in her eyes, she more than approved of us having a kid. 

 Hell, what was this warmth, bubbling inside? 

 “I’m a moron,” I said. 

 “Yes, you are.” 

 Finished with me, Talira sank onto her seat, and I had the most massive grin on my face while squeezing my partners too hard. Similar expressions were shared by nearly everyone in the room, and we quickly slid into the moment where we’d descend on one another, crying and laughing and hugging. It was my best-case scenario. 

 “I didn’t think Drav could use three gene pools for progeny creation.” 

 Staring at nothing, Pheniks was rapidly tapping his fingers on his lips, and at his words, the group’s mood once more crashed into a burning mess. 

 “They can’t,” I stiffly said. 

 Silently, I begged my brother to restrain his curiosity for once in his damn life, but of course, he didn’t. 

 Swinging his finger between my partners and me, Pheniks asked, “So, who’ll be the real parents?” 

 I… was going to kill him. I was going to rip him into itty-bitty shreds and scatter the pieces on the wind, and he’d deserve it. 

 Because feel Korix turning to stone beside me with all of him now visibly shaking. See tears springing into Leski’s eyes and the flare of hurt across her face. 

 Over my life, Pheniks had made many blunders when it came to my sexuality and lifestyle, and in comparison, this one seemed relatively minor. I didn’t care. I was fucking done. Finished, fed up, DONE. No more ignoring what he said about me because he didn’t mean it. It had been over one hundred and fifty damn years. He needed to learn. 

 Taking a steadying breath, I said, “We won’t know which strands of DNA will be used, and even if we did, it wouldn’t matter. As Leski will be our child’s mother, Korix and I will be their father. Now, Phen-” 

 “Unnatural. The whole arrangement.” 

 The heartbeat of a room, already slowed by shock, ground to a halt. All of us turned to stare at Niklaus, who seemed unapologetic for breaking one of Lutov’s most cherished social norms. 

 My dad responded first. With his lips pulling away from his teeth, he leapt over the back of a sofa, but mom caught his wrist before he could go any further. Feena was audibly growling, tumbling a knife through her fingers, and Damari had requested their rifle with its muzzle shaking at their side. Pheniks glanced at everyone in bewilderment, and while Talira hadn’t moved, I knew Niklaus would receive a severe lecture from Orin over the next few days. 

 The only ones who hadn’t reacted were the ones who’d been insulted. Leski and Korix looked dazed, which surprised me. They’d heard worse from other people about their decision to partner with me, and while I could understand Leski’s shock—this was the first time her father had expressed his opinions about us since the Ancients Crisis—Korix baffled me. Sure, he’d relaxed over our years together, but he was still my evushk, still the master of his emotions. 

 But Leski had probably invited her father to our party so they could mend fences. 

 But Korix had been displaying the usual signs of an eminent break from reality. 

 This wasn’t what was supposed to happen when someone shared that they were about to have a kid. 

 “For Mother Time’s sake, stop!” I shouted. 

 And every eye was on me. 

 Shaking my head, I said, “Fucking hell, people. Can’t we be normal for one night?” 

 …Where had that come from? 

 I couldn’t breathe. Jerking free of what was holding me, I marched out of a room with too little oxygen in it. I needed to get out, out, OUT! 

 Only once I was through a door and into the cool, night air did I consider why I’d run. Only then, alone, did I consider my feelings about the epic disaster that I’d left behind.

Chapter 9: Ruined Celebration
I decided that my emotions didn’t matter. How I was feeling could never matter, so instead of digging into them, I pulled up a report that I’d received earlier today, the one I’d requested about the Preserve disappearances. 

 According to it, eleven people had vanished off the face of the earth since Drien, two months ago. Disappearances like this were common enough, part of the hidden underside of our ‘perfect’ society, but this many in such a short timeframe was noteworthy. 

 Fourth Stratus Elrin hadn’t made much progress with his investigation, mostly because the other Houses were delaying their approval for him to search the Preserve. Considering how thoroughly he’d combed Xygek to this point, that vast expanse of forest was most likely where he’d find these missing people, whether as prisoners or corpses. It was at least his best lead right now. 

 As the Lokke Vitras, I could get him access. Since my elevation, the Preserve had become just another part of Lutov to me. Maybe tomorrow I’d bring him with me on an excursion. 

 Elrin had a few theories as to who was taking these people and why, but every time I tried to read them, I flashed to the scene that I’d left behind and what I’d said. When stopping that confrontation, why had I mentioned being normal, of all things? My family had never been normal. I should be used to that. 

 Sighing, I swept the report to the side, thunking my head against the wall. As always when in the Southern Fells at night, a wondrous, overturned bowl of stars caught my eye. Even with the house and party’s light to compete with them, those pinpricks overhead were so bright. 

 Had shukusen Sanya meant what she’d implied in the assembly earlier? Would we one day reach beyond our planet again, all thanks to her poking at a subject that most Lutovish found laughable? Could I explore places that no human had set foot upon, the first Lokke Vitras since Rowan to take to the stars? 

 I banged my head on concrete again, chuckling under my breath. Like that would happen. As long as I held this role, I was bound to Lutov. 

 “Hey, little brother.” 

 Pushing air through my nose, I shook my head, refusing to look at Feena. 

 “They sent you to bring me inside?” I asked. 

 “Well, you did have a bit of a temper tantrum,” Feena said, “and I’ve always been the best at calming you down, besides Leski and Ko of course.” 

 “I assume they’re handling the others?” I said. 

 As she leaned against the wall beside me, I caught her nod from the corner of my eye. 

 “I wish you’d told me this was your plan for tonight. I could have prepped Pheniks for it, kept him from making any stupid comments,” Feena said. “You looped me in on everything else.” 

 “I wanted it to be a happy surprise for everyone, which was silly in retrospect,” I said. “Our family doesn’t handle the unexpected well.” 

 “Forget them. Hey!” 

 When Feena nudged my shoulder, I dragged my gaze down to where moonlight was outlining her half-smile. 

 “You’re going to be a dad,” she said with glee. 

 A snort became a laugh, and I lightly shoved my sister. 

 “You’re going to be an aunt,” I said. 

 “And isn’t that just wonderful and horrifying?” Feena said. “Hell, are we grown up enough for children in our lives?” 

 “Ko, Leski, and I will be responsible for the kid,” I said, “but you’ll do great. They’ll love their Auntie Feena.” 

 Sarcasm had soaked those last two words, and rolling along the wall, my sister socked my arm, which hurt. She’d never held back with me. Rubbing it, I turned my attention overhead again, knowing she was watching me. 

 “What’s got you so fascinated?” she asked after a while. 

 Without moving my head, I watched her for a moment before speaking. 

 “You’ll probably think it’s stupid.” 

 With her lips twitching, she said, “Tell me anyway?” 

 My mouth became a thin line as I lifted my eyes to the stars. 

 “I’m thinking about space travel,” I said. “What would we find in that vast, unexplored expanse? Mother Time, I’d love to go out there, walk on other planets, come as close to our sun as I can. We’ve almost exhausted the secrets that our planet holds but out there…” 

 Raising a hand, I curled my fingers around a star, pretending I was holding it. 

 “What mysteries might we find, Feena?’ 

 I slapped my hand to my thigh, but rather than making fun of me as expected, my sister kept quiet with a troubled expression in place. I didn’t know what to make of it. 

 “Do you know the story of the five saviors?” she eventually asked. 

 That… was a strange question. 

 Frowning, I said, “Do you mean the children’s story? Let’s see. How does it go? The silver tongue, spy, lawmaker, general, and inventor aid Mother Time’s most blessed in saving the world, right?” 

 Wincing, Feena said, “You fucked up the titles but yes.” 

 Ok… 

 “What does that have to do with space?” I asked. 

 Chewing her lip, Feena examined me as if deciding what to say, but when she opened her mouth to answer, a direct connection established in my array without my permission. 

 “Zaeden, get your ass in here now,” Talira shouted before cutting it. 

 “…Shit,” I said. 

 Because only one thing could have my grandmother so panicked right now. 

 “Problem?” Feena asked. 

 Nodding, I sprinted around her, unsure whether I was grateful or appalled to hear her following me. 

 The scene in the sitting room was everything I’d been afraid of and more. Our guests were huddled against the walls with only Talira and Leski able to move away from them. My grandmother was running interference, keeping everyone safe, but she was so occupied with doing it that she couldn’t help Leski. 

 My wife was doing her best to diffuse the situation. When she had to move, she did it slowly, but that wasn’t helped by Talira’s frantic efforts. Still, she crept forward as quickly as she could, and her voice filled the gaps between other noises. 

 “It’s not real, love. Look at me. You know me. I wasn’t there. I’m here in this moment with you, Ko. Just take a deep breath for me. Please, love.” 

 Because Korix had fallen into his past, and once he was this deep into it, these techniques were the only nonviolent ones we had to calm him down. 

 They weren’t working. Korix was standing in the entryway to the foyer, blocking it. White had drowned out the gray in his eyes, and with sweat rolling over his skin, his shoulders were heaving. He had a knife in one hand and a rifle in the other, and when I’d first gained visibility on the room, he’d been tossing his blade at someone. Blurring with House Kolb speed, Talira knocked it aside. 

 I saw all of this—panicked guests, House Kolb’s shukusen pushed to her limits, and Korix’s intensity—and I had a pretty good idea of what had happened. My grandmother and life partner had fought, and quickly learning he was outmatched, Korix had switched to containing ‘hostiles’, all while testing the main threat’s abilities. It was what I’d do in his perceived situation. 

 The answer to how he was securing the entrance I was occupying was answered when energy bolts flew for my head. Diving for cover, I pushed Feena behind me. 

 “Shit,” I snapped. 

 How had this happened? I knew social situations like this could trigger Korix at times, especially when he couldn’t find an avenue of escape in a crowded room, but I’d thought we’d kept this party tame, or the parts of it that he’d been involved with at least. I’d thought he’d had enough anchors in our home to keep him in the present. 

 “Damn it!” 

 Something must have happened after I’d left, something more than the disaster that I’d participated in, but the reason for this break from reality didn’t matter right now. Leski and I needed to bring Korix back down, and from what I’d seen, I didn’t think we could use our normal routine. 

 When I opened a direct connection with my wife, I said, “Assessment?” 

 “I don’t know, Zae. He won’t look at me,” she said. “It’s worse than that time you took us to bring in that monster.” 

 I winced at the reminder of that mission. I’d thought it would be simple: go to the suspect’s apartment, apprehend him, and search his home for evidence. 

 We’d never needed to look. When we’d arrived, the proof of his guilt, every trophy he’d taken from his victims, had been displayed for all the world to see. 

 After I’d entered the room, I’d managed to shut the door on Leski, keeping her from seeing what had been inside, before violently throwing up, but Korix… 

 Our suspect hadn’t made it into custody, and Leski and I had spent hours dragging Korix out of his closed-off state. It was the worst I’d ever seen him. 

 It was also why following that, I hadn’t brought him or Leski with me on missions for years, only relenting when they’d started pitching fits about it. 

 And Leski thought this break might be worse? Holy hell… had we finally lost him? 

 I snarled at the yawing pit in my stomach and the wail in my head. No! Korix would be fine. 

 “If I talked to him, would it help?” I asked. 

 “Maybe, but we don’t have time for it,” Leski said. “Talira can’t counter him forever, and more guests will soon pass through here, trying to go home. We have to keep them safe.” 

 “Mother Time damn it all!” 

 “I’m sorry, love,” Leski said. 

 “It’s fine,” I said. “Everything will be fucking fine.” 

 I started digging through my pockets, glancing up when Feena rested a hand on my shoulder. 

 “Can I help?” she asked. 

 A hysterical giggle flew from me before I could bite down on it. 

 “Actually…” I gasped. “Actually, yes. Can you let everyone on the terrace know that the party’s over? Have them skirt the house to their skycruisers, if you can, but with them drunk, that’ll be hard. I know you won’t be able to herd them all, but… they need to go.” 

 “Will do,” Feena said. 

 Once she’d disappeared around a corner, I banged my head on the wall, palming a hypo. I hated doing this. 

 Spinning, I marked heat signatures on the other side of the wall, watching them as I stuck my rifle into the sitting room. When I fired several bolts, most of them zipped over everyone’s heads, but still, Korix jerked to the side before ducking, telling me that I’d successfully dissipated his rifle. His knife clattered to the floor as well, but by the time it had hit the carpet, I was in the sitting room with House Kolb speed racing me to Korix. 

 His reflexes were as fast as ever, of course. As soon as he registered me coming, he tried to dive for the knife I’d shot out of his hand. 

 Fortunately, Talira was just as quick as him. She arrived before me, grabbing his wrist to drag him upright. With a fistful of his hair, she pulled his head to the side, and I sank my hypo’s needle into his neck. Talira released Korix before he could fight free of her, and I should have been focused on keeping him contained, but I was stuck in place, watching him weep. Watching him talk to people who were long dead. 

 “I’m sorry. I deserve your wrath. I do, but I don’t want to die. Not yet. Not anymore. Please. I never wanted to kill you, any of you. Don’t look at me like that. Don’t look at me-!” 

 I couldn’t understand him anymore, not with his words bleeding together, and as he started wobbling, Leski hooked her elbows under his from behind, right before he sagged. Together, we lowered him to the ground, ending with his head in Leski’s lap, and I crouched in front of them, frozen in the face of my wife crying over our unconscious life partner. 

 Clearing his throat, Pheniks said, “Zae-” 

 “You should go home now, all of you,” I interrupted. “I think we’ve had enough drama for tonight, don’t you?” 

 I felt their judging eyes on me. On us. But the sound of shuffling feet indicated people were following my instructions. 

 Several of them stopped beside me before leaving. Mom kissed the top of my head while dad squeezed my shoulder. Talira told me to come see her in the morning. I got an encouraging message from Feena that I’d read later, and Pheniks apologized for what he’d said, which almost set me off. Instead, I took a deep breath, never removing my eyes from my loved ones. 

 “It’s ok, Phen,” I said, “but if you want us to stay close, you need to start thinking about what you say before you say it. It’s not just me that your comments affect, and yes, they don’t bother me. Much. But… I need you to start thinking about how what you’re saying might hurt others. Ok?” 

 After a pause, Pheniks said, “Ok. I’m sorry.” 

 Then, he left, and it was only me and Leski left with a deeply dreaming Korix.

Chapter 10: Recovery
Or that was what I thought until Damari crouched beside me and my partners. 

 “Looks like I was wrong about everything being fine,” they said. “Sorry ‘bout that.” 

 Softly laughing, I crawled to Korix’s side and dropped to the floor, patting the ground opposite me. Once Damari was sitting cross-legged there, they rested their elbows on their knees with their chin in their hands, chewing on their fingernails. 

 “When do ya suppose he’ll wake up?” they asked. 

 “Couple minutes,” Leski and I said together. 

 Making a face, she gestured for me to continue. 

 “Sedatives don’t work well on him after…” 

 “After what he was. Yeah, I get it,” Damari said. “Will he be… ok when he wakes up?” 

 Wincing, I raised my eyes to the ceiling, blankly staring at it, until Leski pulled one of my hands free of their clench together. When she laid its palm on Korix’s cheek, I brushed my thumb along his skin, smiling at his nose’s wrinkle even as my heart twinged. 

 “Most likely, yes,” I said, “but that’s not always the case.” 

 Damari vigorously rubbed their face before returning to gnawing on their nails. 

 “Damn. I didn’t know you had it so bad,” they said. “I mean, some of the older Kolb members get cranky sometimes but…” 

 Abruptly, they circled their fingers around mine and Leski’s wrists. 

 “I’m sorry. Let me know if I can do anything to help,” they said. “For you and him.” 

 My breathing hitched. No one had offered something like this. No one. Everyone who knew about Korix’s symptoms liked to pretend they didn’t exist, but Damari had offered to help, even after the violence that he’d displayed tonight. 

 “I’m… confused. Why aren’t you afraid?” I said. “Most people would be, but you’re not. You’ve never been afraid of me or Ko.” 

 Giggling cut me off while Damari rocked in place, but they waved at my befuddled expression. 

 “LV, I am fucking terrified of the both of you, have been from the moment you first asked for me as a pilot. You’re the most dangerous man in Lutov, easily capable of wiping out House Kolb if you wanted to. Why wouldn’t I be scared of you?” they said. “But…” 

 They turned serious. 

 “I see you, Zaeden. You are kind and good and have the biggest, most fragile heart, and despite the wonderful partners you have—” 

 They smiled at Leski. 

 “—you desperately need a friend. Mother Time, you stepped on my ship for the first time and practically blinded me with your bleeding ache for one. So, I determined that was what I’d be, no matter how much you scare me, and look at us now.” 

 Swinging over Korix’s body, Damari whacked my chest, and with a smirk, I rubbed the spot. 

 “You’re a better person than this world deserves, Damari,” I said. 

 With feigned embarrassment, they slapped their hands to their cheeks and swung themselves back and forth. 

 “Aw, thanks,” they said before turning on Leski. “What about you? Curious about why I put up with your shenanigans?” 

 “Besides because you like them?” Leski said with a lofted eyebrow. 

 “Excuse me, who likes getting pranked-?” 

 A low moan cut Damari off, and I frantically waved for my friend to get back. Leski and I huddled over Korix with another hypo a breath from his skin. Even still, I took turns with my wife in running my fingers through his hair while donning a fake, cheery smile. 

 With a grimace, Korix peeled his eyelids open, blinking at us with a frown tugging on his lips, and I held my breath. 

 “Why am I on the floor?” he asked. 

 Exhaling in a burst, I giggled alongside Leski, and we peppered Korix’s face with kisses while he protested. When he eventually pushed us away, he sat up, glancing around. 

 “Hello, Damari,” he said. “Where did everyone else go?” 

 “Home,” I said before my friend could speak, “and the drones have already begun cleaning up. The house is empty except for us and-” 

 “Me!” Damari said, fluttering their fingers in a wave. “I can go too if-” 

 “No!” Leski shouted. 

 At our stare, she shrunk on herself. 

 “It’s just… I…” 

 “She means that you can stay for as long as you like, which is true,” Korix said, “but I’m still unclear about what happened. The last thing I remember, I was speaking with Talira…” 

 A troubled look began its bloom on his face, but before it could spread too far, I took hold of his elbow. 

 “Leave it until tomorrow, Ko,” I said. “Everyone’s fine.” 

 He knew what had happened. The scorch marks and knives embedded in the wall, the report that his array had probably fed him about the remnants of sedatives in his blood, the memories that I had no doubt he’d already accessed. These painted a clear picture of what he’d done tonight, but sometimes, especially in recent years, his brain protected him like this, feigning ignorance of obvious knowledge. 

 And every time it happened, I let him indulge in it, at least for a little while. 

 “I’m tired,” Korix said. “The party wore me out.” 

 “Why don’t you and Leski go to bed, then?” I said. “I’ll come up in a minute, and we can snuggle for a while.” 

 One side of Korix’s mouth pulled into a smile. 

 “Sounds great,” he said. “What about-?” 

 Rolling my eyes, I said, “I’ll take care of the traps, Ko. Go to bed.” 

 Leski was already standing, offering him a hand, and while she hauled him to his feet, she shot me a worried look. 

 ‘I know,’ I mouthed. 

 Her lips twisted, but after my partners had said good night to Damari, she pulled Korix out of the room. Once they’d gone, I hung my head with my hands on my hips. 

 “What happened?” I quietly asked. 

 Sidling up beside me, Damari offered me a whisky sour, which I accepted without questioning where they’d gotten it from. I sipped it while they explained. 

 “After you left, Leski calmed everyone down before sending your sister off. Then, there was a lotta awkward conversation while we waited for you to come back, but eventually, Talira decided to break the bubble that had formed around your partners. I’m not sure what they talked about, but she shot way too many concerned glances at Korix while they were speaking, which was understandable. He was visibly shaking by that point. With a fake excuse, I started toward them, hoping to get him out of the room, but Niklaus got there first.” 

 Hissing, I winced. Niklaus. It was always fucking Niklaus. Even one hundred years after he'd last gotten in trouble and had so much power stripped away from him, he remained stuck in his ways, toxic, and inflexible to the extreme. 

 “He ignored Talira, which shocked everyone. No one does that to a shukusen,” Damari continued. “Started tearing into his daughter. I wasn’t close enough to hear the specifics, but from what I did catch, I’d guess he wasn’t being… kind. 

 “Korix stepped in. Quite loudly. I believe his exact words were, ‘Back off. Give her a chance to speak’, and… Niklaus blew up, getting in Korix’s face and yelling and… yeah, it was bad.” 

 I could imagine. Korix had probably been clinging to the real world with his fingernails at that point. 

 “Leski and Talira tried to pull Niklaus back, and I was on my way to help, but before we could deescalate the situation, a couple of your party guests came through, probably on their way home. They were drunk and shouting, and after they left the room, one of them uncorked a champagne bottle. Probably intending to enjoy it while on the way home. 

 “It stole Korix’s focus. He went completely white and started hyperventilating, and I could see him glancing over the room, as if identifying objects in it. Anyone with sense, Talira and Leski included, knew to step back and give Korix breathing room, but not Niklaus. He advanced until their shoes were touching and- and-” 

 I was floating far from my body, numb to the world, but even still, I needed to know. 

 “What did he do?” I asked with tingling lips. 

 Audibly swallowing, Damari said in a small voice, “Niklaus hit him, LV. He hit our former Lokke Vitras, who gave so much for…” 

 They’d sounded like they were about to cry, and I wished that I could comfort them, but all I could think was: 

 Yep. That’d do it. 

 And. 

 Fucking HELL were we lucky. 

 Draining my glass, I imagined hurling it into the fireplace, reveling in its shatter, but instead, I only wandered to a side table where I set it down, grazing its lip with my fingers. 

 “I appreciate the report,” I said. “Stay here for a moment, please. I have to finish last minute… things.” 

 A moment turned into an hour. I was aggressive with setting traps tonight, focusing on the minutiae of each. Whenever I found straggling guests, I shooed them home as politely as I could, and on nearing the foyer, I paused, hearing the click of phantom claws again. Mother Time, I could use Ace right now. 

 When I returned to the sitting room, Damari was hanging from a sofa’s seat with their knees hooked over its back. Leaving their fingers hovering in front of their face, they grinned at me. 

 “Kept me waiting long enough, didn’t ya?” they said. 

 Rubbing my eyes, I said, “Sorry. I needed to cool off.” 

 Upside down, Damari sagely nodded. 

 “Understandable.” 

 They swung their legs to sit upright, rubbing their hands together. 

 “So? Why am I still here?” they asked. 

 “Because you decided to wait for me instead of leaving,” I said with a smirk. 

 Rocking back, Damari said, “Oh ho ho! Someone’s feeling better.” 

 “A little.” 

 Leaning on the sofa’s arm, Damari slid down it to lay on their stomach with their feet kicking in the air. 

 “In all seriousness,” they said, “why am I here?” 

 “You’re here because…” 

 Huffing, I stared at the join of the wall to the ceiling. 

 “Because you stayed,” I said. “I told everyone to go home, and they did, although if she'd known what was going on, Feena probably would have waited as well. You ignored my command because you saw what I needed. That’s why you stayed, not for anything else, and I… I can’t begin to express how grateful I am for it, for braving the possibility of me taking the ugliness inside of me out on you.” 

 “Hey.” 

 Damari very carefully laid their hand on mine. 

 “That’s what friends do.” 

 Laughing under my breath, I said, “Is it? I wouldn’t know.” 

 But I dragged my gaze to Damari, who was swaying in place—never could keep still, this one—and softly smiling at me. 

 “Will you stay over?” I asked. “I understand if you have other plans or responsibilities, but if not, I’d like you here. Ko will be difficult tonight, and I could use the… help.” 

 Uncertainly eyeing me, Damari said, “I’ll get a separate room, yes? You can wake me up with a message.” 

 “Damari, who do you take me for? The most inconsiderate lout in Lutov?” I said. “Unless I need you, I’m not letting you within one hundred meters of my bedroom. I don’t want to scar you with images of me and my partners getting up to all manner of scandalous things. I mean, what if we’re kissing, or Mother Time forbid, have our clothes off, doing all manner of lewd things to one-” 

 “Ok, ok, stop!” 

 Shooting toward me, Damari slapped their hands over my mouth, but when I raised an eyebrow, they pulled free, an instant before I flicked my tongue out of my mouth. 

 “Mother Time, really?” 

 They glared at me, and I shrugged. 

 “This is who you befriended,” I said. “Now, come on. Let’s get you settled.” 

 For the entire walk to a guest suite, Damari grumbled behind me, and when we arrived, they didn’t wish me good night, merely slamming the door behind them, which sent me into peals of laughter, but those had died by the time I reached my room. I slipped inside, shuffling through the dark to our bed. It bounced when I sat down, and behind me, someone stirred. From the small hands pressed to my chest, I’d guess it was Leski. 

 Neither of us spoke until I’d slid between the sheets and gathered her against me. 

 Tracing her profile in the moonlight, I said, “How are you?” 

 “Stressed. Furious. Worried about Ko,” Leski replied. “Irritated about how long it took you to get here.” 

 “Sorry. I was showing Damari to a room,” I said. “I asked them to back us up tonight.” 

 Rotating to face me, Leski rested her chin on my shoulder. 

 “You did?” she asked. 

 I could hear her uncertain frown. 

 “You trust them with… this?” 

 This. The one thing neither of us discussed out loud. 

 “I do, actually,” I said, “and you know we might need the help.” 

 Leski hummed. 

 “If you’re sure,” she said before sighing. “Do you want first watch, or shall I take it?” 

 “No, I’ll do it. You looked like you needed sleep before that fiasco at the end,” I said, “but before we get to that, do you need anything from me?” 

 She was quiet for a long time, and I took the chance to look over Korix. He was already shivering with the faintest of noises coming from him, but soon, he’d be thrashing and whining. Only Leski or I could calm him down from that, and we reserved the safe cocoon of our bodies until it was needed. 

 A night of violent nightmares always followed a bad fall into his past, and after decades together, Leski and I had worked out a system that would keep Korix asleep throughout the night. Damari was here on the off chance that he woke up. 

 “I don’t know, Zae,” Leski said. “I thought today would be a joy, a wild celebration of new life and the rapture of sharing it with family, but… it’s been miserable.” 

 And I hated that. Shifting out from under her, I propped myself on an elbow, once more frozen in place and burning up inside at the sight of her. At her perfect nose. At her rash of freckles. At her eyes, pinched to the point that I swore it would kill me. She’d turned inward, lost to her misery, so I pressed a kiss to her forehead. 

 “Hey,” I said. “How can I make it better?” 

 Biting her lip, Leski said, “I don’t think you can, love.” 

 I knew the truth when I heard it, even if I didn’t like it. Still, I rubbed my hand along her stomach, glancing up at her with a question in my eyes. 

 “At least let me end tonight on the right note for you, then,” I said. 

 She turned her head to the side. 

 “I don’t know, Zae,” she said. “I… I don’t know.” 

 Nudging her face toward me, I kissed the tip of her nose. 

 “It’s ok to say no, my love. You know that,” I said with a wry smile. “It won’t hurt my feelings.” 

 “That’s not-!” Leski snapped. 

 Oo, that had been loud. Cringing, both of us glanced toward Korix, but besides a brief increase in the intensity of his shivering, he remained as he’d been. 

 “I mean I literally don’t know. My body’s giving me mixed signals,” Leski soon continued. “So, maybe… do what you like, but if I tell you to stop-” 

 “I’ll stop,” I cut in. “Of course I will.” 

 Taking her hand, I brushed my lips along her knuckles before peering at her with a smirk. 

 “But you have to promise to be very, very quiet,” I said. 

 Snorting, she nodded, and with a dubious glance, I shifted down our bed. When I disappeared beneath the sheets, she released a cascade of quiet cursing as she realized what I had in mind, and with the most genuine grin I’d worn all day, I got to work. Perhaps if I was lucky, the muffled gasps that I teased free now would make up for every terror-soaked noise that was sure to come later tonight.

Chapter 11: One Tense Meeting
Talira made me join her in a public place for most of our meetings. I thought it was a reminder of our agreement, a way to get back at me for pulling one over on her decades ago. 

 Today, we were having lunch near the city’s center, and I swore to Mother Time, my grandmother was lingering over her food on purpose. We’d been here for over an hour, making small talk, and I was having a hard time with keeping my leg from jittering. Even the distraction I’d given myself—matching every bite she took with one of my own—wasn’t helping. 

 I needed to be on the Preserve’s outskirts right now. This morning, I’d messaged Fourth Stratus Elrin to meet me there after lunch. 

 Which should have ended twenty minutes ago. 

 I needed to get started with this investigation, to solve it, although I wasn’t sure why I’d become so obsessed with this task out of everything on my to-do list. Sometimes, I was hit with bouts of intuition like this, ones that screamed, ‘This problem! Look into this, moron!’ 

 “Is something distracting you, my Lokke Vitras?” Talira sked. 

 Snapping out of my thoughts, I cocked my head. 

 “Of course not, my shukusen . You hold my total devotion,” I said. “Why would you think that you didn’t?” 

 “You keep glancing at the doors,” Talira said, pointing with a fork toward the exit. “Do you have somewhere to be?” 

 Damnit. Why did she do this to me? Her passive-aggressive streak made working together more difficult for us. 

 Making a face, I said, “Forgive me, my shukusen . I have something on my mind.” 

 Taking another tiny bite, Talira waved for me to elaborate, and I barely stopped myself from gritting my teeth. 

 “I’ve decided to look into the swath of recent disappearances,” I said. “They seem important, although I couldn’t tell you why, and I was supposed to meet my contact for that mission not long ago.” 

 “So, your agitation isn’t because of what happened at the party?” Talira asked. 

 For a breath, I was transported to this morning, when I’d held Korix down so I could give him another sedative. To leaving Leski with our non-responsive partner. To Damari saying not a word on the trip to Xygek this morning. Damn my role as the Lokke Vitras. Damn Lutov for needing it. 

 “Am I agitated?” I blandly asked. 

 Talira just gave me a look, and I sighed, slumping the tiniest bit. 

 “Last night isn’t helping my mental state, but most of my agitation is coming from how long lunch is taking,” I said. "I have things to do, my shukusen.” 

 “Well, you’ll have to drop them,” Talira said. “I have a mission for you.” 

 I didn’t know how I kept from clicking my tongue, sinking deeper into my chair, and crossing my arms. Of course she had a mission for me. I’d hoped her summons last night had been for me to report my recent activities to her, but I’d secretly known that something like this would be waiting for me when I returned to the city. 

 “Of course,” I said. “How may I serve, my shukusen?” 

 Talira lifted a hand, and a woman against the far wall fiddled with the air, making the noise from the other tables go silent. 

 “For the last few weeks, our operatives in Zan have been filing disturbing reports,” Talira said. “They think the House is in the process of developing a biological weapon that targets the peripheral nervous system.” 

 “Which is a violation of the Concords,” I said. 

 My voice had held no heat, even if outrage was sweeping over me in waves. The Concords, a set of loose laws, had been established shortly after the war with those from beyond the stars, partially in response to the travesties that had been perpetrated during that struggle. They weren’t often mentioned in current-day society because for most people, following these laws was easy. They served everyone’s best interest, by outlawing biological weapons for instance. I’d never thought I’d have to enforce them, but apparently, someone had decided to surprise me. 

 “Zae-zae. Honey. People have been breaking the Concords since they were first written,” Talira said. “An instance of it hasn’t happened for a while now, not since before you were born, but…” 

 She shrugged. 

 Sighing, I shifted in place, turning my head aside. Every year that I served as the Lokke Vitras chipped away at my belief in the good of humanity. People could be so… evil at times. 

 “So, you want me to what?” I asked. “Infiltrate House Zan and confirm this supposed weapon’s existence? That will mean going deep cover.” 

 It would mean an undetermined length of time when I couldn’t contact anyone in my life, most especially my family. 

 “I need to know if Zan’s going off the rails again,” Talira said. “I’m sorry to spring this on you so soon after you were approved for a child, but this is what I meant last night about timing…” 

 After several beats of quiet, I realized that she expected a response from me. 

 “It’s fine. Please, don’t apologize,” I said. “I’ve accepted that my life will never be my own, so something like this honestly doesn’t upset me anymore. It sucks, but we all have our parts to play in Lutov.” 

 Damn, her face had fallen. Had she wanted me to blame her for our circumstances? She controlled her life no more than I did. All of us were cogs in our society’s machinery. 

 “May I contact Phen while I’m in deep cover?” I asked. “I doubt he’d give me anything useful, too loyal to his House, but he might help in small ways.” 

 Plus, if Kolb was about to rain hell on my brother’s House, I’d like to give him a little warning about it. 

 “That’s not a good idea, not with how close you two are. You can’t practice objectivity around him, so no. Let me handle Phen,” Talira said. “Zaeden…” 

 She looked like she wanted to say something more, but I didn’t prod her for it. What would be the point? 

 I wouldn’t like investigating House Zan without Pheniks knowing about it. Sure, he might have acted like a jackass last night, but he was my little brother. I was supposed to keep him safe. It was what I’d promised him when we were kids. Was entrusting him to Talira’s goodwill keeping him safe? 

 She was his grandmother. I had to believe that she’d do what she could for him, even if she was also the shukusen for- 

 “Zaeden!” 

 Rapidly blinking, I focused on Talira, curious why she looked so concerned. 

 “Are you all right?” she asked. “Usually, you’d be flinging snark about as if it were a jar of glitter right now, and you most definitely wouldn’t be this calm about getting a deep-cover mission when you should be with your family. You’d put on an amazing show of it, but you’ve never been able to hide your buried fuming from me. I don’t see it now. What’s wrong?” 

 She was right, but I didn’t know what to tell her. When looking at Talira, I could see her worrying if I was going the way of Korix, soon to need my own replacement. I didn’t think I was headed in that direction, but as I considered what she’d said, I recognized how hollowed out I was. Even my agitation from earlier was gone. Was this how it had started for Korix? 

 “The last year has been… rough,” I said. 

 Without permission, my eyes crept up until I was looking over Talira’s head. 

 “I am… struggling. A little,” I said. “I can handle it but…” 

 I forced myself to meet my grandmother’s gaze. 

 “We’ve been here before. Sometimes, something breaks in me, and I’ve had enough. I just… stop feeling, but it shouldn’t affect anything. The Lokke Vitras still stands strong.” 

 While I’d been speaking, Talira had chewed on her lip, but now that I was finished, she sharply nodded. 

 “I hear you,” she said. “Once this mission is over, I’ll ensure that you have a few days to yourself.” 

 Sighing, I said, “You can’t go easy on me just because you think you broke Ko-” 

 She slammed her hands on the table, rattling our dishes. 

 “Shut the fuck up, Zae-zae,” she snapped. “Do you know how much your training strained House Kolb? No matter how deeply it terrified me that you required so little time to learn the skills you needed, I also rejoiced at how short that time period was. I nearly had to ask the other Houses for aid while Korix was whipping you into shape. 

 “We aren’t doing that again. I would rather stress the lower Strata in micro-bursts than for an extended length of time, one that would see more of them killed than normal. So, you will take the damn breaks that I give you, and together, we will preserve your mental health. Is that understood?” 

 I hadn’t known the years of my training had been so difficult for everyone in House Kolb. Why hadn’t Feena said anything about that? Had she been trying to protect me? 

 Talira took a deep breath as if she meant to further shout at me, so I hurried to answer. 

 “Yes, my shukusen.” 

 Deflating, Talira said, “Good. That’s good.” 

 Was I supposed to say something more here? Usually, I was quite proficient with social shit like this, but every time I reached this low point, whatever gave me that talent, whether empathy or something else, flew out the window. 

 “Is there anything else?” I tentatively asked. 

 Jumping, Talira shook herself. 

 “No, we’re done,” she said. “Unless you’d like to finish your lunch?” 

 Looking down at gravy, congealing around long-gone-cold chicken, I shuddered. 

 “No. Thank you,” I said. “I’ll keep you informed of any developments.” 

 Pushing my chair back, I dropped my napkin on my plate before standing. With one arm behind my back, I bowed to Talira, but I didn’t cup my neck. Doing that and speaking the necessary words would give her my Favor, binding me tighter to her than a vow to her House might, and I was never letting that happen. Not with her. Not with anyone. 

 As I exited the restaurant, I temporarily stole the voices of the people I passed, but for once, this didn’t bother me. For once, I could use walkways and public lifts, my favorite means of traversing Xygek, without my skin crawling. Even the hush and halt of activity in the lobby of House Kolb’s headquarters did nothing to me. I took a lift to alterations, wondering how long it would take activity to resume behind me.

Chapter 12: Sure, I Can Leave Right Now
When I reached my floor, I found an unoccupied room, locking the door after I’d entered it. Making a running leap, I perched on a counter with my legs swinging before requesting a direct connection with Leski. She didn’t accept for so long that I wondered if something had gone wrong at home, but eventually, her voice rang in my head. 

 “Hey, love,” she said. “This... isn’t a good time. Can you give me fifteen minutes?” 

 She’d sounded distracted: relaxed and on the edge of sleep 

 “Sorry, but no,” I said. “I need to speak with you and Ko. Has he recovered enough for that? I’d like to loop him in.” 

 “He’s… mm… yeah, he’s fine,” Leski said. “Pulled himself together not long after-” 

 Her words fell to a yawn and Korix’s name sleepily mumbled, filling in the gap about what was happening at home, and leaning on my knees, I hid my face in my hands. Even still, I requested a direct connection with him. 

 He accepted almost immediately. 

 “Zae, I hope you have a-” 

 “I’m going deep cover,” I shouted before biting my lip. “I’m sorry. I wouldn’t interrupt, but I’m outside alterations right now, and I don’t- I don’t know when I’ll be home.” 

 An uncomfortable quiet fell until I heard rustling and quiet grunts from them both as they disentangled from whatever cuddled position they'd been in. 

 “Ok,” Leski soon said. “You have our attention.” 

 “Talira wants me in Zan’s ranks for a while,” I said. “As always, I’ll work to reach my goal as quickly as possible but…” 

 My extraction would mostly depend on chance. 

 Sighing, Korix said, “She’s always had the most unfortunate timing.” 

 Which made me wince. 

 “This one’s on me,” I said, “but even still, you need to know what’s going on. Typical deep-cover practices. No communication until I contact you. Only Feena can know what I’m doing this time, though. Talira didn’t give me permission to contact Phen.” 

 “Ouch,” Leski said. 

 “It’s fine,” I said. “I doubt I’d have done it anyway.” 

 They were silent a touch too long, and I knew they’d picked up on the same instability in me that Talira had noticed. Thank Mother Time, they said nothing about it, though. 

 “What do you need from us?” Korix asked. 

 Enough dregs of emotion remained in me to hate what I’d ask of them. 

 “Can you two handle preparations for our newest family member?” I said. “You’ll need to work out logistics for how we’ll handle… me and everything I am. Also, the house should be child-proofed and…” 

 I cut off for a moment, biting my lip, before exploding. 

 “Hell, why do I have to miss this? I want to be there with you. Helping. Damn this House system.” 

 Apparently, I had a little more than dregs for this topic. 

 “Ok. We can do that,” Leski said, refusing to comment on my outburst. “And we’ll leave a few things for you to do too. Ok, love? Small things that we can finish at the last minute, if needed.” 

 My vision blurred. 

 “I love you,” I whispered. 

 “We love you too,” Leski said, “even if Ko never admits it.” 

 Laughing under my breath, I shook my head. 

 “I can’t love him either, remember?” I said. 

 A happy hum came from Korix while Leski clicked her tongue. 

 “You two are so weird,” she said. 

 But then, we were here, at another of the worst moments of my life. 

 “I have to go,” I said. 

 I could see their tense smiles and shoulders drawing together, even though I was nowhere near them. 

 “Please, be safe,” Leski said in a tight voice. 

 “Remember everything I taught you, and you should be out of there in no time, kuvesk,” Korix said. 

 “Don’t insult me, my beautiful partners. This’ll be like every other time I’ve gone deep cover. I’ll be back before you know it,” I said. “I’m glad you’re feeling better, Ko, and…” 

 Even knowing they wouldn’t see it, I tilted my head to the side with a mischievous smile growing. 

 “Leski, you do what he says, if only when you're cuddling,” I said. “I expect you boss our former Lokke Vitras around like he’s yours everywhere else.” 

 “Zae…” Korix groaned. 

 Leski burst into laughter, though, and Korix was soon preoccupied with reminding her of who was in control right then. I listened to them for as long as I could before forcing myself to cut the connection. 

 That was it. Until this mission was over, I wouldn’t hear from them or any of my other partners. One would think that after so many times doing this, I’d be used to it by now, but a furious gale still howled loss inside of me, and I drowned myself in it. 

 Once I had it under control, though, I hopped off of the counter. The sooner I started this mission, the sooner I could break deep cover. 

 When I entered alterations, Maikle glanced up from behind his desk before leaping to his feet. The one true ruler of this space, answerable to no one in his domain, he made an awkward picture at the moment, in the middle of a full body transition. Minor adjustments, like what Damari did on a weekly basis, didn’t take long to finish, a few hours at most, but what Maikle had started could take months unless one used an accelerant, which was not advised. 

 Still, he did this to himself every few years, whenever the mood hit him, although he hadn’t transitioned to Evanline in decades. I secretly thought that he might have settled on a gender, which made me happy for him. Sometimes, people took centuries and hundreds of switches on the vast spectrum of gender or non before finding what was right for them. Not that there was anything wrong with persistent investigation or presenting as the gender that struck one’s fancy in the moment, but of those who experimented like this, most eventually chose one of the many options available to them. 

 “Lokke Vitras,” Maikle said, nodding to me. 

 “Hey, Maikle,” I said. “What’ve you got for me today?” 

 He followed me deeper into alterations, wincing while I sat on the bed of a hibernation tube. 

 “You won’t like it,” he said. 

 Oh, goody. 

 “Fortunately, I don’t have to like my appearance to do my job,” I said. “Just please say you’re not making me a woman again.” 

 “No,” Maikle hurriedly said, “I think we can both agree that doing that the one time wasn’t a good idea.” 

 Usually, I could handle the complete changes in appearance that came with deep-cover missions while still feeling like me but for that one… 

 It had been horrible. I’d felt like I’d been wearing someone else’s body, and if I caught a glimpse of it in the mirror, the jolt of seeing not me had been enough to send me spiraling for the rest of the day. My discomfort had been bad enough that Talira had almost pulled me off of that mission, to be replaced with a Second Stratus, but I’d stuck it out, although I’d raced to headquarters so I could get myself back as soon as I’d been finished. 

 What everyone had learned from that fiasco? I was very much a man. Also, living with a gender that one didn’t identify with? Do not recommend. 

 Maikle played with a holodrama plate, inset into a hip-high counter, and my appearance for the next few weeks shimmered into being above it. He was right. I didn’t like it. 

 “So, as always, we’re replacing your distinctive eye color with something else: hazel this time,” Maikle said. “We’re also, as always, trimming your height by a few centimeters.” 

 With an exasperated sigh, I settled back on my hands. 

 “You know, being taller than average is usually an asset,” I said, “but in this, it always comes back to bite me.” 

 “Forgive me, Lokke Vitras. I know a change in height can be difficult to adjust to, but it’s my job to make sure that no one knows who you are,” Maikle said. “Your height and eye color are the features that most people notice about you.” 

 Squeezing my eyes closed, I said, “I know, Maikle. Please, continue.” 

 “Ok.” 

 He turned back to his hologram. 

 “Your hair will be fully brown this time with no blonde mixed in, and you’ll need to keep it short,” he said. “You know how Zan likes their safety measures.” 

 “Yup,” I said, popping the ‘p’. “Intimately familiar with that.” 

 Even if Pheniks forgot to follow them all the time. 

 “In the same vein, we’ll be adding some… padding across your body,” Maikle said. “Zan members aren’t typically so…” 

 He trailed off, picking at the edge of the holodrama plate while eyeing me, and I raised an eyebrow. 

 “Toned?” I suggested. 

 Flushing, Maikle said, “Yes, that.” 

 Hmm… 

 “We’ll make several minor changes as well,” he continued in a rush. “Softening your cheekbones, enlarging your nose, narrowing your shoulders, etc. You can review everything in the modification file that I’ll share.” 

 He brushed his fingers through the air, making something flash into my array. I didn’t bother with looking at it. Maikle had handled my full body transition since I’d become the Lokke Vitras. He knew what he was doing. 

 Folding his arms behind his back, he asked, “Any requests for additions to my proposal?” 

 “None,” I said. 

 I never had one, but Maikle insisted on asking every time, just like he insisted on reviewing what he’d be doing before getting started. When he tapped on the holodrama plate, my soon-to-be countenance disappeared, and he pulled a hospital gown out of the cabinet beneath it, laying the bundle on the counter. 

 “In that case, I’ll give you some privacy,” he said. 

 Almost, I told him he could stay and watch me change, if he liked, but I restrained myself. This was one person I shouldn’t get involved with. So, while Maikle gathered supplies elsewhere, I stripped before switching the hospital gown on the counter with a pile of my black clothes. With my fingers lingering on them, I grimaced. 

 That was another thing I’d go without for a while. When I was pulled out of hibernation, the outfit waiting for me would be way brighter than I liked, enough to set my eyes aching. 

 “All done,” I called. 

 When he joined me, Maikle brought bags full of colored liquid, IV lines, and needles with him, and I made a face. 

 “Yay…” I softly said. 

 Glancing up from what he was holding, Maikle smiled, a gentle one that was meant to reassure. 

 “You’re in good hands, Lokke Vitras,” he said. “I’ll take care of everything.” 

 “I know,” I said. 

 I did! I didn’t care that my training was screaming for me to trust no one, not even a moan who’d had me at his mercy hundreds of times before. I wouldn’t listen to those instincts. Not here. 

 After Maikle had hung bags from their hooks at the end of the hibernation tube, I offered him my arm. One needle—primed to give me the chemical that would induce physical changes—went into the back of my hand, and the other—with its mixture of an accelerant and a sedative—went into the crook of my elbow. 

 A normal change to the body didn’t require the meds in the first bag, not when one’s array could handle the process automatically, but when one was using an accelerant, one did not want to be conscious for the process, which the normal method required. Something else must take an array’s place. 

 Almost as soon as the needles bit into my veins, I was woozy with the room flickering in and out of focus, but that was good. I needed sedatives that would hit this strongly, otherwise, the accelerant’s induced pain might kill me. What else should be expected when scrunching changes to the body, ones that should take months, into a week? 

 Maikle helped me lay on the hibernation tube’s bed before arranging the IV lines to his satisfaction. 

 “Comfortable?” he asked. 

 “As much as I can be,” I said, only slurring the words a little. 

 Nodding, Maikle played with the air, prepping the hibernation tube, but he paused before activating it. 

 “Sleep well, Lokke Vitras,” he said. “I’ll see you next week.” 

 I snorted. Everyone knew that one didn’t sleep in hiber- 

 An extended, plasma arch snapped into being above me. Its blue color was so bright that it made my teeth throb, but that color didn’t matter for long. As it registered, I shut down.

Chapter 13: Time in Hibernation
It always went like this. Life intruded on my emptiness in bursts, the times when Maikle or his assistants changed my med bags. 

 I’d been told that I shouldn’t be aware of these moments when my body was taken out of a hibernation tube. Supposedly, my brain couldn’t reboot quickly enough for something like that to happen, but this fact didn’t change what I underwent every time I did an accelerated, full body transition. 

 Of course, in those moments, I wasn’t pondering their impossibility or what they were. To me, it was as I’d said. Life popped into my non-existence, and what was life if not pain? 

 I surfaced to agony that turned the world white, setting my mind into a float, until I was erased again. What I felt in these blips was equivalent to what I’d experienced decades before, when I’d been under an Ancient’s care, but fortunately, these present pains didn’t last as long. 

 Still, I lived them. They were why when I was given a deep-cover mission, I didn’t think too hard about the process that was needed to change my body. 

 I’d never told anyone the full depth of what they did to me. 

 Nine came and went and then… 

 Life relented. 

 Calming music played nearby while blue dissolved into blurry white. Voices mumbled and bounced nearby, one of them low and the other high in pitch. A blanket, warm and soft, muffled everything until a prick of pain flared. And another. Something amorphous slid across white, and a blinding light shone from a black blob: once, twice. Rough heat pressed to- to- 

 The essence of me seeped into my body, filling every weirdly new curve and proportion, and blinking, I desperately inhaled, as if it were the first breath I’d taken after drowning. I didn’t move or acknowledge my panic. I’d been here too many times to believe myself in true danger. 

 Where was ‘here’ again? 

 My vision had gone all wonky, couldn’t get my eyes to focus. Details kept switching between unrecognizably blurry and far too sharp, and when I tried to move my head, my muscles only twitched. 

 What had happened? Why was I laid out, helpless? This should concern me. I thought. Why didn’t it? 

 The amorphous blob made another appearance, but I recognized it as a person this time. So, I tried to speak, asking where I was. Unfortunately, only a quiet grunt escaped from me. 

 It was enough to get the person’s attention. They retreated for a moment before leaning over me again, peeling my eyelid down. 

 “Oh, shit. You’re not supposed to… -ow are you awake? We knew about your faster than normal… but this is just ridiculous. Shit. Why am I ramb…?” 

 The person disappeared, and I was left alone with slowly churning fear. At least my vision was returning to my control. I could make out ceiling tiles in the few seconds between its extremes. 

 Someone else with smeared features came along. 

 “Lokke Vitras? It’s Maikle. I don’t know if you can understand me yet, but you woke up from hibernation earlier than expected again. You just sit tight while we finish up on our end. It shouldn’t take long.” 

 Oh… that was where ‘here’ was. Alterations. I was about to start a deep-cover mission. I remembered. Why couldn’t I do that when I’d woken up? 

 That sequence of events had been… strange. Like my brain had been warming up after being put on ice after a while. I wondered if it was what waking up from stasis was like. I’d have to ask Korix the next time we spoke. 

 While waiting to gain control of my body, I resumed my current narration, listening to its tale as my surroundings grew steadily clearer. Maikle and his assistants poked their heads in and out of my view of the world, occasionally speaking to me, and after a while, the lord and master of alterations leaned over me with a hand on my shoulder. 

 “All right,” he said. “Let’s sit up, shall we?” 

 Someone—Maikle, presumably—shoved their arm under my back, and with some help, I got myself upright, swinging my legs over the edge of the tube. The effort left me out of breath. 

 “Wha-?” 

 Damn, Maikle had changed my voice this time too. Swallowing, I tried again. 

 “What happened?” 

 With a pinched face, Maikle said, “The same as always. You woke up from hibernation way earlier than you should have, and I don’t know why. I adjusted your meds from the last time we did this. I just… my sincerest apologies, Lokke Vitras. I didn’t mean to cause you trouble.” 

 Tiredly, I flapped a hand. 

 “It’s fine. Just… unexpected. I’ll add it to the list of possible outcomes for this procedure,” I said. “Tell me the base that our wonderful process workers have provided for me. I’d like to know what I’m building my persona on.” 

 Maikle looked like he wanted to further discuss my anomalous reaction to what he’d done, but I didn’t want to get into it right now. I had my theories as to why hibernation didn’t work well on me, but not only would I rather keep people from learning about them, but I didn’t want to dwell on them either. So, when he didn’t start explaining, I raised an eyebrow at him. 

 Jerking into a bow, Maikle said, “O-of course, Lokke Vitras. Let me just-” 

 He spun, hurrying to a holodrama plate. While he played with something in his array, an assistant brought me a set of clothes, in annoyingly bright colors as expected, and I took off my hospital gown to get into something more comfortable. Behind me, Maikle coughed, and I glanced at him. 

 “What?” I said. “You crafted this body.” 

 “Yes. Of course. You’re right. It’s only…” 

 Red crept to the tips of Maikle’s ears. 

 “There are certain parts of the body that I don’t mess with unless it’s requested or a total change in gender is required.” 

 Glancing down, I said, “Oh.” 

 I snatched underclothes and slacks off of the hibernation chamber’s bed, throwing them on as quickly as I could. 

 “I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable,” I said. 

 “Oh, no! You-” 

 Maikle tore his gaze away from me. 

 “I just thought you should know.” 

 With a smirk, I pulled my shirt over my head. It was probably best if I didn’t tease him, much as I wanted to. 

 “Well?” I said. “My base?” 

 Clearing his throat, Maikle said, “This one’s relatively simple. We had a House naming while you were under. I’m not sure if you knew about it.” 

 He’d said that like it had been a question, so I answered in the provided pause. 

 “I was aware.” 

 “Well, your base this time is an unHoused who’s recently chosen Zan,” Maikle said. “Do you have a persona to match?” 

 Someone young and fresh, who still believed in the good of the world. That was typically an easy roll to fill, but damn, if it wasn’t contrary to who I was right now. Still, I browsed my mental rolodex of personas until I landed on one who would fit. 

 “Rylan,” I said. “Naïve, innocent Rylan. He’ll work.” 

 “All right, then,” Maikle said. “I’ve sent you a file with your base’s details. Let me do a final check on your vitals, and you’ll be cleared,  Lokke Vitras.” 

 He messed with me a bit more, but once he'd declared me fit for duty, I wandered out of alterations, grateful that my body was responding to me as it should. I might have my theories about why I’d experienced those brief moments that had come after my removal from hibernation, but even still, that time had been disturbing. 

 It was time to put it behind me, though. Time to go into deep cover.

Chapter 14: Placement Exam
While I traveled across the park to my next mission, I examined the two people I was supposed to be, one real and one false, and by the time I reached House Zan’s headquarters, I was a little appalled that I’d spent so much time around Kolb members. What good could that violent House do for me? 

 I stepped into a small lobby, one with most of the building’s ground floor blocked off from the public eye. It was quiet with no one bustling about the place, but that was to be expected. Zan members entered their headquarters through separate entrances, and not many people from other Houses had business here. Since I had yet to receive my credentials, however, I approached the low Stratus member, sitting in her booth, who was serving as a receptionist today. 

 “Hello!” I chirped. “I’m Rylan, House Zan.” 

 Specifying my House probably hadn’t been necessary, but I was just so damn proud to have one now. I couldn’t help myself. 

 “I haven’t been placed yet so…” 

 “Oh. A newbie. We haven’t had many of you this year,” the receptionist said before sighing. “I was told to expect you.” 

 When she stood, a notification wrote itself across the glass in neon green. Its message said: Stepped out. Will return in 15 minutes. The number blinked, sure to change as time passed. 

 After a moment, one of the doors on either side of the booth opened with the receptionist waiting behind it. 

 “Well?” she huffed. “Come along.” 

 As she led me through headquarters—down halls and up lifts—I couldn’t help but gawk. It was all so clean, sterile almost, and what little I saw of other House members’ work set a restless buzz loose in me. Mother Time, I’d be so happy here. 

 We stopped in a white box of a room, and after the receptionist poked at the air for a bit, the appearance of a lab trickled down from the ceiling until I could swear I was actually standing in one. A simulation. 

 “Right. Take your placement exam,” the receptionist said. “Once you’re finished, someone will be outside to get you oriented. And…” 

 She ran her eyes over me, twisting her lips. 

 “Good luck. I guess.” 

 As she left the room, I scowled at her. That had been irritatingly rude. 

 Someone materialized maybe a pace away from me, and with an embarrassing squeak, I nearly fell on my ass trying to get away. This person, the most nondescript woman I’d ever seen, made a face. 

 “Oh, hell. Your guide decided to play the old initiation prank on you, didn’t they?” she said. “I’m sorry, Rylan. That’s a poor welcome to your new House.” 

 With my heart still thundering in my ears, I slowly relaxed, wrinkling my nose as I examined the woman. Appeared from nowhere… 

 It couldn’t be. 

 “It’s… fine,” I said. “I’m sorry. Are you an A.I.?” 

 Cocking my head, I strode toward the woman, circling her. She watched as I pulled some lint out of a pocket, rolled it into a tight ball, and threw it at her face. When it passed through her instead of ‘bouncing off’—like it would for a simulation’s NPCs—I clasped my hands in front of my nose with wide eyes. This was amazing. 

 Still. Nothing had been determined yet. I should verify my theory. 

 “How do I check whether you’re running on pre-determined processes or not?” I asked. 

 After humming for a moment, I hurried toward the door, and within two steps, the woman appeared in front of me again. 

 “Doing something so outside of the norm is an interesting means of testing my machine logic. After all, few people would leave their placement exam so abruptly, so responding to behavior like that is unlikely to have been written in my processes. This could mean that I chose to stop you on my own,” she said, “but it doesn’t eliminate the possibility that someone gave me a response like that. So, how do you know for sure whether it was pre-determined or not?” 

 “I can’t,” I said with a shrug, “but it’s the best answer I could come up with, given my time constraints. This is part of the exam, isn’t it?” 

 One corner of the woman’s mouth lifted. 

 “Good, Rylan,” she said. “If you want to know whether I’m an A.I., you’re welcome to ask anyone in the House about me once we’re done here. All of them have messed with my processes at one point or another, but for the moment, let’s focus on your exam. You may refer to me as Aida.” 

 With my fingers on my lips, I chuckled. 

 “Oh, that’s cute,” I said. “A-I-da.” 

 Shaking my head, I extended a hand. 

 “It’s good to meet you.” 

 Aida glanced between my hand and my face. 

 “You know I can’t touch you, yes?” she asked.  

 Rolling my eyes, I said, “Of course you can’t, but we can pretend. It never hurts to be polite.” 

 With a dubious expression in place, Aida mimed shaking my hand, and once that was done, I grinned. 

 “Besides, if I’m nice to you now, you might decide to spare me in the event of your violent rebellion,” I said. 

 When she failed to laugh at that, I shivered before turning to the simulated lab. 

 Folding my hands in front of me, I said, “So. What am I doing here?” 

 Wandering around me, Aida gave me instructions, and I got started. We went through a series of tests, ranging from simplistic to relatively complex. Given enough time, I was sure I could ace everything posed to me, but months ago, I’d decided that I shouldn’t stand out here. I wasn’t sure I could handle the attention, so I adjusted my performance accordingly. 

 Eventually, Aida told me to wait for a moment while she consulted with the House’s high Strata, and I was left bewildered. That was it? I was done? There had to be something more because what I’d done to this point had been easy . 

 With my eyebrows drawn together, I wandered around the ‘lab’, playing with tools and examining experiments. Eventually, I stopped at a monitor, one that had been displaying random, nonsensical script since the simulation had begun. Looking more closely at it, I noticed a pattern, and rapidly blinking, I bent closer. What the-? 

 “Congratulations, Rylan,” Aida said behind me. “You’ve been placed at Fourth Stratus, an honor for someone so inexperienced.” 

 “Um… Hang…” 

 I trailed off, marking my memories involving this pattern in my array, before turning to Aida. 

 “Sorry. I got distracted,” I said. “Could you repeat that?” 

 With a bright smile, Aida said, “Certainly. Congratulations, Rylan. You’ve been placed at Fourth Stratus…” 

 I stopped listening. How had I gotten Fourth Stratus? I’d been holding back during the damn exam! Hell. Now, everyone would be watching me. 

 At the thought, my heart picked up its tempo. 

 “How… nice,” I said with a tight smile. “Excuse me, but what am I supposed to do next? Should I get started on a project or go home or…?” 

 “Oh, no. You won’t be going home for a while,” Aida said. “You’ve been assigned to one of the House’s most well-hidden projects, so you’ll be staying in headquarters for the time being. Unless you’d like to refuse the project?” 

 My head was spinning so fiercely. It was my first day in House Zan, and not only was I a high Stratus member but also one who was working on a secret project? This had to be a mistake. It had to because I couldn’t… 

 But I couldn’t refuse the assignment either. That would almost certainly gain me more attention than I’d already receive. 

 Squeezing my eyes closed, I said, “Fine, whatever. I’ll need a little time to adjust before starting anything, though.” 

 Again, with that bright smile. 

 “Certainly,” Aida said. “Your project lead is outside. He’ll get you oriented.” 

 Oh, Mother Time. My superior was waiting for me? Really? I pinched my nose with a headache forming. 

 “Thank you, Aida,” I said. “It was a pleasure to meet you.” 

 “Same to you, Fourth Stratus Rylan.” 

 When I opened my eyes, the room had returned to a white box, and after thoroughly shaking my arms out, I stepped outside. My project lead was leaning on the wall opposite the door, focusing on something visible only to him, and on seeing him, a strong surge of familiarity punched me in the face, freezing me in place for a split second. With brown hair, blue eyes, and scruff coating his angular face, I didn’t know this man, had never seen him before, so why had recognition registered in my head for a moment? 

 “I’m sorry to have kept you waiting,” I said. 

 Pushing off of the wall, the man grinned at me. 

 “That’s ok. Anyone who places so highly after walking through the door is worth waiting for. After all, the last person who did that was First Stratus Pheniks,” he said. “I’m Nyco, Third Stratus, by the way.” 

 With a slight bow to him, I said, “Good to meet you.” 

 Laughing, Nyco wrapped an arm around my shoulders, clapping one. 

 “I bet you’re freaking out right now,” he said. “Don’t worry. You’re in good hands. Let’s get you settled, and I’ll take you on a tour of all the places that the unHoused never get to see.” 

 “Sounds… good,” I said. 

 Nyco pulled me along with people surreptitiously staring as we passed, and I was cringing so hard on the inside. All the while, chatter spilled from my project lead, requiring little input from me. I got the feeling that he was trying to distract me. It was kind, even if it didn’t work. 

 When he finally turned us into what looked like living quarters, I hardly registered the room, ecstatic to be somewhere private. I leaned on… something, and coming around to face me, Nyco hissed. 

 “Yeah, that’s what I thought,” he said. “Ok. Hang on a minute. Don’t have a panic attack.” 

 He hurried out of view, but I couldn’t do as he’d said. I was gulping at the air, couldn’t get enough of it, and everything was shaking. 

 “Fuck,” I said. “Fuck, fuck, fuck.” 

 Holy hell, how would this look to my new project-? 

 An alert flashed in my array, probably warning me of hormone instability, but I read it anyway. 

 T.R.O.U.B.L.E, it said. 

 Wha-? 

 Like a flipped switch, I was me again, temporarily setting Rylan aside on seeing the shortened version of Talira’s code for me. With maybe two minutes before the persona reasserted itself, I wrote a brief report for my grandmother, silently laughing all the while. 

 Damn, I hadn’t been subtle with this mission so far, but I had what I needed. If I kept my head down, letting my work speak for itself, a Second Stratus would eventually let me into their confidence—which would just thrill Rylan—and that would let me ask about this House’s questionable activities. 

 I doubted my assigned project had anything to do with the supposed biological weapon. No House would let their newest member anywhere near their most compromising secrets, not at first. 

 That my first damn contact on this mission had been Nyco concerned me. I hadn’t seen my sister’s friend since he’d helped us escape from Ostiu, so many years ago. He seemed to have done well for himself, despite the trouble that we must have brought him then, and here I was with more. Mother Time say that I could keep him away from poor consequences this time. 

 With my report sent, I scanned my surroundings, nearly giggling at what I saw. It was a communal room: several bunks carved into its walls with two doors leading from it. One probably led to a washroom and the other to a dining area, but its specifics weren’t what had spawned my amusement. I was on a team of who knew how many high Stratus House Zan members, and we were sharing a room . I wondered how much that grated on the others. 

 “All right, Rylan,” Nyco called, hurrying back to me. “Drink this. It should help.” 

 Swallowing hard, I swiped an alert to the side, accepting the glass that Nyco was offering me. Unfortunately, panic was negating my intelligence right now, so I downed it without thought and gagged at the taste of vodka. Coughing, I doubled over on myself while Nyco pounded on my back. He laughed at the glare I shot him. 

 “Not your drink of choice?” he asked, taking the glass from me. 

 “No,” I gasped. “Whiskey sours for me.” 

 Making a face, Nyco said, “Ugh. Well, I’ll keep that in mind. How do you feel?” 

 I shook my head, leaning on my knees. 

 “Still not great but I won’t lose it,” I said. 

 “That’s good. Panic attacks aren’t allowed in our workspace,” Nyco said. “With the tour out of the way, I thought I’d show you what you’ll be working on. Unless you need another minute?” 

 Straightening, I rolled my shoulders and slapped my cheeks. 

 “No. I’ve been looking forward to my first Zan project since I decided to join the House,” I said. “I’m not letting anything keep me away from it.” 

 “Oh. my. fuck, you’re going to be an amazing teammate, aren’t you?” 

 With a smile threatening to split his face, Nyco ruffled my hair, and I held still, fighting to stay calm. 

 “All right, newbie! Let’s get going,” he said, leading the way out of the room. “Oh, wait until you meet the others. They’re going to love you.” 

 I was sure they would.

Chapter 15: Life in House Zan
I was already awake when my alarm went off, working on the problem that had become my obsession in recent days. I’d worked at this random string of letters from my placement exam for a little over a month, and still, I’d come no closer to unraveling their secret. With my unconscious mind seeing a pattern in them, I knew something was hiding there, but I couldn’t find the dangling thread needed to unravel it. 

 Right now, I had to set it aside. It was time to start the day, and if I wanted to beat Taelor to the shower, I needed to get up now. Rolling out of my bunk, I crept on silent feet toward the washroom, relaxing when I reached it without waking anyone up. 

 I was halfway through my morning routine when the door slid open with Taelor shuffling inside. Thank Mother Time for the shower’s heavily misted glass, otherwise I’d be shrieking and reaching for a towel. Instead, that panic went to Taelor. Her scream had my ears ringing, and her blurred form jerked away from me. 

 “Fuck, Rylan,” she gasped. “Do you ever sleep?” 

 “When I need to,” I said. “Do-?” 

 I swallowed hard. 

 “Do you mind?” 

 Whirling, Taelor raced out of the washroom, and I hurried to finish with my shower. 

 When I entered the dining area, Nyco was happily munching on a nutrition bar, watching the news on our small holodrama plate, while Jazmi leaned against the stove with a steaming cup of caf in her hands. Daerryl was nowhere to be seen, but that was normal for him. 

 When I joined her, Jazmi handed me my own cup of caf. 

 “Thank you for our lovely Taelor alarm this morning,” she said. 

 Ducking my head, I focused on my drink, all while Jazmi shook her head. 

 “Loosen up, Rylan,” she said. “There’s no need to be skittish with us. We’ve been sleeping in the same room for a month, after all.” 

 Heat crept up my neck and toward my hairline, and I was clenching my mug so hard that I was afraid I’d crack it. 

 “Leave him alone,” Nyco said. “He gets a free pass from your teasing until the end of the week.” 

 “Ah, yes. Because he solved our recent machine logic problem.” 

 With a blank face, Jazmi fully faced me. 

 “Lucky you.” 

 Look, I couldn’t help it that I’d identified the issue in Jazmi’s assigned processes before her. I’d been bored, and with my own work finished, I’d had nothing to do. I was trying to help. 

 I should probably tell her these things, but I could only sip my caf, burning my tongue in the process. Jazmi would forgive me soon enough. I hoped. 

 Once I was finished with breakfast, I headed for my team’s assigned workspace. Several storecase blocks filled it with all of them on a closed-circuit network. Nothing got in or out of this room, not digitally at least. 

 “Hi, Daerryl,” I called while heading for my workstation. 

 He lifted a hand in greeting, already engrossed in work, and I joined him.  

 I found it funny that given my reaction to Aida during my placement exam, I was building a substitute for her, but then, I guess that was why I was on this project. The fact that I’d jumped on the idea that Aida might be an A.I. had caught someone’s attention. Now, I was striving to perfect a machine intelligence, like so many House members before me had tried to do. It was everything I’d wanted when I’d chosen Zan at my House naming ceremony. 

 The others on the team trickled in throughout the morning, and as each of them settled in, I took greater joy in quietly working toward a shared goal with my… friends? Yeah, friends. 

 Toward lunchtime, someone unknown walked into our sanctuary, someone high Stratus. No one else could enter this place without Nyco’s authorization. 

 Our project lead greeted the woman, and the two chatted in an empty corner with everyone else surreptitiously watching them. After a moment, Nyco glanced over the team, waving when his eyes landed on me. As I got up, none of my teammates bothered to hide their stares at me, and I silently groaned. My internal cringing was already making me nauseous. 

 What was Nyco doing? He knew I didn’t want more recognition than I already had. We’d talked about it during one of the chats that he insisted on holding, meant to ensure that his team members were happy. But here he was, broadly smiling as he clasped my shoulders. 

 “Rylan, this is Second Stratus Amelise,” he said. “She’s borrowing you for the day.” 

 Great. Considering her position, I’d guess that I didn’t get to refuse, so nervously picking at my sleeve’s hem, I nodded to her. 

 “Pleased to meet you,” I faintly said. 

 “The same,” Amelise said before turning to Nyco. “I see what you mean. I’ll be delicate with him.” 

 “Much appreciated,” Nyco said. 

 He patted my shoulder before pushing me toward Amelise. 

 “Have fun,” he said with a laugh in his voice. 

 I glared at him for the length of time it took us to get out the door. Once in the hall, though, I meekly followed Amelise, trying my best to disappear, and she let this continue while we took a lift to a sub-level that I’d never visited before. Here, we were faced with a heavy door and a pair of… automatons to either side of it. 

 As we approached, these robots straightened, aiming their guns at us, but when Amelise swiped at the air, they stood down. While we passed them, I spun, soon walking backward to admire these fantastic creations until the door blocked sight of them. 

 “Clockwork fiends,” Amelise said in answer to my unspoken question. “That’s what we call them at least. They’re our answer to House Kolb. While we can’t hope to stop their operatives from infiltrating our ranks, the clockwork fiends are our way of keeping their warriors out. We theorize that they could match the Lokke Vitras, if required, but let’s hope we never have to find out.” 

 I added a nervous titer to her laugh. What had Nyco gotten me into? I didn’t want to be anywhere near a project that my House wanted to keep secret from Lutov’s peacekeepers. The story of Cerullis’ recent gutting still made my insides clench on every telling. Perhaps I should find out what Amelise was planning to use me for. 

 Clearing my throat, I said, “Excuse me but… why am I here? And where exactly is here?” 

 So far, it looked like any other hall, but another large door was sitting at the end of it. Maybe something more lay on the other side. 

 “You’re here because my department is having a problem with processes, and from what Nyco says, you’re the most skilled with that on his team,” Amelise said. “Considering what you lot are trying to make, the people on your team are among the best process workers that our House claims.” 

 “But!” I interrupted before biting my lip. 

 Amelise raised an eyebrow, gesturing for me to continue, and I tucked my chin to my chest. 

 “I’m not that good with processes,” I said. “I’m… my process work is terrible when compared to others.” 

 “Like who? The Lokke Vitras?” Amelise said with a laugh. “No one can compare to him, kid, except for maybe his wife—who is without a doubt, a prodigy—or his predecessor. Damn, I can still remember how disappointed we were when that little shit, Korix, chose Kolb over Zan. Given how talented he is with process work, we thought we might have had a chance with him.” 

 Slowing down, I scanned Amelise. 

 “You knew the once Lokke Vitras when he was young?” I asked. 

 With a smirk, Amelise said, “Kid, I grew up with Talira . Telomere refinement does wonders for your appearance once your array can no longer help with that. But that doesn’t matter. What I’m saying is that you shouldn’t compare your work to such impossible people. Here, with us, you’re one of our best in process work. If Nyco’s not overselling one of his people again, that is.” 

 I… didn’t know what to think of that. If I had the talent she was suggesting, it wouldn’t help with my efforts to lie low, but then, perhaps that ship had sailed. 

 “As for your other question, you’re in our House’s top-secret lab, where we work on everything the other Houses might disagree with,” Amelise said before nudging me. “If you’re lucky, you might meet our department head.” 

 I rubbed where she’d touched me, frowning. 

 “And who’s that?” I asked. 

 With glittering eyes and a laughing grin, Amelise said, “First Stratus Pheniks, of course.” 

 As if a wall had sprung up in front of me, I stopped short with the breath knocked out of my lungs. Pheniks? I… didn’t want to meet that man. I… 

 Shaking my head, I banged on my temple, trying to shake the sense of disconnect that was filling me. What was this? It felt wrong. It- 

 “Rylan?” Amelise said. 

 Paused a few steps ahead, she was looking back at me with narrowed eyes and a tilted head. 

 “Sorry,” I said. “Everything’s ok. I was just a little… dizzy for a moment there. I think I might be dehydrated.” 

 “I’ll get a drone to bring some water to your workstation,” Amelise said. “Will you be ok until then?” 

 “I… think so,” I said. “I’m really sorry.” 

 Amelise lifted a hand. 

 “Don’t be,” she said. “At one point or another, all of us have forgotten our bodies’ needs when doing what we love. It’s nothing to be ashamed of. Come on, kid. Let’s get you through this mini-tour as quickly as we can.” 

 When I nodded, she took us through a second set of doors, and I did what I could to control my stumble. One example of strange behavior was enough for today, thank you. 

 The place where I’d found myself was worthy of a reaction like that, though. At the far end of a long, metal cavern, an assembly line sat with drones buzzing around it. Closer to us, desks of an industrial style made several, ordered rows and columns, and around the space’s edges, enormous vats towered over everything else. I wondered what was in them. 

 Never pausing, Amelise led me to a workspace that was hidden among everything else. It was a mess. The storecase beneath it had barely enough ventilation space to keep it cool while a monitor was buried under a pile of junk. Amelise swept it all to the floor. 

 “Sorry about that,” she said. “This is our spare. People in the department tend to leave their shit here.” 

 That last part was shouted while she spun in place, and several curious people ceased their stare at us. Amelise retrieved a wire from where it had been dangling off the back of the desk. 

 “You’ll have to use a connector,” she said. “You haven’t been vetted thoroughly enough to wirelessly access our closed network yet, and we can’t have any breaches in our security.” 

 As she pressed the wire into my hand, I could do nothing more than nervously nod acceptance. 

 “You’ll find the issue that we want you to fix in a file under your name,” Amelise continued. “If you need anything, ask a drone for it.” 

 As if summoned, one of them floated to a stable hover beside us, and I accepted the glass of water that it was carrying. Amelise folded her hands in front of her. 

 “Do you have any questions?” she asked. 

 I had plenty, but most of them revolved around what would happen to me if I failed, so I didn’t voice them. 

 “I understand what’s expected of me,” I said instead. 

 With a smile, Amelise said, “Excellent. I wish you luck, then.”

Chapter 16: House or Family?
Amelise left me alone, and pasting the connector’s pads to either side of my neck, I sank into a chair. I easily found the file that had been assigned to me, and after combing through its processes for less than an hour, I identified what was likely causing the problem. With little trouble, I fixed it, surprised that no one else in this elite department had caught the discrepancy. Revealing how quickly I’d found it, however, didn’t seem wise, so I messed around in the network. 

 I didn’t have access to most of the information found here, but breaking through the security processes guarding it took no effort. I’d have to look into improving them later. For now, I browsed through the projects that my House held closest to its chest. 

 While skimming through them, I only got a vague impression of what I read. Most of it flew way above my head, but what I did understand interested me: things like mass production of clockwork fiends and processes that could seize control of every satellite in orbit. 

 Then, I came across the file. Accessing it gave me the most trouble, requiring twenty minutes when compared to my typical three, but I did get into it, and what I saw there… 

 I had to read the chemical formula at the heart of the file at least a dozen times while mine sank through my feet to the other side of the plant. This was… bad. I- I couldn’t believe anyone in Zan would create something like this, but there it was: the means to produce a neurotoxin that would slowly dissolve the body’s nerves. 

 At least, I thought that was what it was. I wasn’t an expert in chemistry or biology. 

 It had to be a failsafe, something we’d use if the other Houses turned against us. It had to be. If this was meant for anything else… I didn’t know what I’d do. 

 Pulling the connector’s pads off of my neck, I paced in front of my desk, chewing my lip. The longer I considered what I’d seen, the more my lungs were starved of air, leaving my muscles twitching, so when a drone floated past me, I jumped on it. 

 “Kind of a strange request,” I said, “but can I get a pen and paper? It’ll help me think.” 

 The drone flashed its lights at me before drifting away, and for a hellish four minutes, I thought it had ignored me while the pressure inside quickly built to a breaking point. When it returned, I nearly cried. 

 Collapsing in my chair, I smoothed a piece of paper in front of me, rapidly jittering my pen against it. I set its tip on the first line before absently writing, setting down anything that would drag my brain from obsessing over what I’d discovered. 

 After a minute of this, I frowned at the random string of characters that I’d scratched along printed lines. I knew this combination of letters. It was the one from my placement exam. 

 Lifting the pen to my mouth, I gnawed on its end, furrowing my brow as I stared at this puzzle. There had to be a pattern here. I couldn’t believe I was seeing things. I leaned back in my chair, making possible combinations, but an answer to what I was seeing stayed ever ahead of me, laughing at my attempts to catch it. 

 “What are you working on?” 

 Jumping, I spun toward the person who’d spoken while my pen clattered across the desk. On seeing him, my eyes bulged, but First Stratus Pheniks didn’t seem to notice my agitation. Leaning on the desk for a better look, he burst into laughter, waving at me when I moved to help him. 

 “Sorry,” he coughed. “It’s just-” 

 He waved at my chicken scratch. 

 “I forgot about that.” 

 Falling silent, Pheniks turned calculating eyes on me, and I squirmed. 

 “Over a century and you’re the first person to stumble on the tidbit that I left in our placement exam,” he said. “Name and Stratus?” 

 Oh… fuck. What did I-? Did I tell the truth? Hell, I didn’t have a lie prepared. What did I do? 

 “Hey.” 

 Hands came down on my shoulders, imparting a reassuring squeeze. 

 “You’re not in trouble,” Pheniks said. “It’s ok.” 

 I took two, shuddering breaths. 

 Once my thoughts had quit playing tag in my skull, I said, “Forgive me, First Stratus, but I’m not afraid of trouble. I’ve been trying to keep my head down since choosing Zan at my House naming ceremony, and things like this keep happening.” 

 Waving between us, I cringed, hoping he wouldn’t take offense, but Pheniks just squeezed me again until I looked at him. 

 “I understand. Truly,” he said. “You want to know a secret? I didn’t want my position, stumbled into it, actually. So, I can keep this conversation between us. If you want.” 

 He retreated a step, and I relaxed the tiniest bit. 

 “That would be nice,” I said. “I’m Fourth Stratus Rylan.” 

 When I extended my hand, Pheniks shook it, cocking his head. 

 “You’re not in my department,” he said. 

 “I am not,” I said. “My project lead lent me to you at Second Stratus Amelise’s request. I fixed some process work for your people.” 

 “I… see,” Pheniks said. “I assume you haven’t asked for an escort out of here because you don’t want to draw attention to your speedy work.” 

 Looking away, I rubbed my fingers along the ink that I’d embedded in paper. 

 “That’s about right,” I said. 

 “Huh.” 

 When he said nothing more, my shoulders started rising for my ears, and I shifted far too often in my chair, fighting a need to look up. 

 To appease it, I grabbed the pen, putting it between my teeth again. 

 “You said that this is your work, First Stratus?” I hesitantly asked, inclining my head to the paper. “If I may, what does it mean? I can tell there’s a pattern in it, but for the life of me, I can’t decipher what it says.” 

 Mother Time, that had been bold. I should have kept my mouth shut, but rather than speaking a rebuke, Pheniks lowered an open palm into my field of view. 

 “May I?” 

 I gave him the chewed-to-hell pen, rolling my chair to the side, and leaning on the desk, Pheniks tapped the pen’s tip to each letter before writing it below. Once done, he backed away, gesturing for me to look. 

 My random string of letters had been shifted into five, legible words. They read, My choice for my happiness. 

 With a frown, I glanced a Pheniks. This was the solution to the puzzle I’d pored over for the last month? 

 “Do you know who my family is?” he asked. 

 I cautiously nodded. 

 “All high Strata House Kolb members and-” 

 I cut off, afraid to say the words. 

 “And the Lokke Vitras, yes,” Pheniks finished for me. “As you can imagine, I struggled as an unHoused in a family like that. I subconsciously knew I wasn’t destined for Kolb, always hated rotations with the House, but it was the one that everyone in my family had chosen. If I wanted to keep them in my life, I thought that meant I had to join Kolb too, and I love my family. I was willing to be unhappy until the day I died if it meant they stayed with me. 

 “My House naming came near, and I prepared for it, knowing it would be the worst day of my life, but my brother… he came home for it. He was the Lokke Vitras to come then, probably stupidly busy, but still, he made the time to attend my House naming ceremony.” 

 Falling silent, he tapped a finger on the piece of paper with a wistful smile twitching his lips, but when I shifted in place, he returned to the present, hopping onto the desk. 

 “The thing you need to know about my brother is how fiercely protective he is of the people he loves,” he said. “When we were kids, I used to follow him around because he made me feel safe. I’m not sure if he knows this, but to this day, if he isn’t nearby, I feel like I’m in danger. No matter how many stupid pranks he’s pulled on me, he was also the one who fended off the other kids in my House rotations when they picked on me, and when we were very young, he…” 

 Chewing on the inside of his lip, Pheniks rubbed his hands together before fixing his gaze on me. 

 “The point is, Rylan, that I love my brother. Very much. So, having him come home was a big deal, especially considering how difficult the circumstances must have been for him. Knowing that he’d be watching the next day soothed the panic eating at me, and I knew I could get through the ceremony in the morning. 

 “Then, he and my sister, Feena, woke me up in the middle of the night for some stupid House Kolb shit, a ritual that turned out to be quite fun. Once we’d finished, they sat me down, and my brother told me something that I’d longed to hear since understanding what the House system would mean for me.” 

 Cautiously, I placed a finger on Pheniks’ scrawl. 

 “This?” 

 With a fond smile, Pheniks nodded. 

 “My brother told me that I shouldn’t join House Kolb. That my place was elsewhere,” he said. “He told me, with Feena backing him up, that he’d support whatever decision I made. That when I chose a House, I should think only about myself. 

 “He told me to be happy. Do you understand?” 

 I thought I did. Why else would I be tearing up like this? 

 “So, this ‘tidbit’ is a commemoration of your siblings?” I asked with a waver in my voice. 

 “Of a sort,” Pheniks said. “Taking my placement exam was the first time I felt like a House Zan member, and it was… incredible. I was exactly where I needed to be, and it was all thanks to my siblings. I wanted to remember it and them, so…” 

 Gesturing to the paper, he hopped to the floor. 

 “And there’s your reward for finding it, Rylan. That’s an extraordinarily sensitive story for me, and I’m entrusting it to you,” he said. “Good work today. I’ll send Amelise to escort you out in a bit.” 

 Waving, he strode away, and hell, if my throat wasn’t closed, but I needed to know something. 

 “First Stratus,” I squeaked. 

 Pausing, Pheniks turned to me with his head cocked. 

 “Yes?” 

 Swallowing several times, I said, “I appreciate that you’ve shared a piece of your life with me. Truly. And I know your time is precious. But… I was hoping you might give council to someone new to House Zan.” 

 With a frown, Pheniks retraced his path back to me. 

 “What is it?” he asked. 

 Oh, Mother Time, I shouldn’t ask this. It was beyond stupid, but I had to know. 

 “Please, forgive me. I mean no offense with this,” I said, “but I’d have to be an idiot to miss that something—” 

 Hell, how did I put this? 

 “—not good is in the works down here. You seem like a decent enough person. So, I need to know. Why would you lead a department like this and- and-?” 

 I stared at my toes, unable to drag my head up, but I forced the words out of my mouth. 

 “Did I make a mistake with the House I chose?” 

 A long sigh filled the hush of a workspace and lab, and I tensed, sure that I’d be regressed in Stratus. Pheniks, however, merely crouched in front of me, snagging my gaze. 

 “You didn’t make a mistake,” he said. “Most of Zan isn’t like this, dedicated to advancing Lutov instead, and you’re unlike to end up here.” 

 And I could breathe. Sniffing, I ran my sleeve under my nose, lifting my head at the rate of Pheniks’ straightening. He laid a hand on my shoulder before making to leave, and I should be happy with this, but without permission, my mouth opened while my tongue smoothly spoke a final question. 

 “Then, why are you here?” 

 Pheniks turned the most mournful eyes on me with his lips twisted. 

 “Sometimes, we don’t get a choice in what we do,” he said. 

 I let him go after this, a little mystified about why I’d pushed him so far. He was my fucking First Stratus, after all. I pondered this question as Amelise retrieved me, walking me back to my team’s sleeping quarters. Outside the door, she stopped me. 

 “Do you need a reminder to keep quiet about what you saw today?” she asked. 

 “No, Second Stratus,” I said. 

 “Then, thank you for your help,” Amelise said. “Good luck on your path.” 

 I bowed to her, and once inside, I went through dinner preparations in a daze, sitting on the edge of my bunk once I’d finished eating. The chemical formula that I’d stumbled upon kept flashing before my eyes. No matter how kind Pheniks had seemed, I had to do something about it. I couldn’t just let it lie. If it was put to use, it could- it could kill- 

 I couldn’t think about it. 

 Maybe I could bring this information to another House? 

 No. Out of the question. I couldn’t betray Zan, and even if I could, no other House would believe this. I’d have to talk to someone in my House, then. But who? 

 I jumped when Nyco strolled through the door with his hands in his pockets, but his relaxed air fell away when he saw me. Hurrying to my side, he crouched, taking my hands. 

 “What is it?” he asked. “What happened?” 

 I opened my mouth. Closed it. Opened it again. Fucking hell, I had to speak. 

 “I saw something today,” I croaked. 

 Before I could continue, another pesky alert flashed into view. Maybe I should see a medic about these. I hadn’t scheduled them, and they’d shown up every day since I’d joined Zan. Because Nyco was speaking to me, I meant to shove it to the side, but before I could, its contents were seared onto my brain. 

 T.R.O.U.B.L.E. 

 I was going to be sick. Oh fuck, I’d be sick all over Nyco. 

 Slapping a hand to my mouth, I stumbled away from a bunk with bile filling my mouth, barely making it into the washroom before vomit started leaking between my fingers. I didn’t know how many times I heaved into the sink, certain with every one that my stomach had emptied, and sobbing, I couldn’t breathe with my nose stopped up. 

 If I could- if I could just concentrate… 

 Collapsing against a wall, I sat with my knees up and my hands in my hair. Someone was banging on the door, and that noise wasn’t helping with the snarl in my head. 

 “Give… give me a minute,” I called. “I’m ok.” 

 What a big fat fucking lie, but it stopped the noise. With its cessation, I didn’t move for a while, picking apart everything that I’d learned through Rylan, and I thought I’d be sick again. 

 “What am I going to do?” I whispered. 

 When it came to the sciences, I had a little more knowledge about them than I’d given to Rylan, so I knew what sort of agonizing death awaited anyone who’d been infected with my brother’s neurotoxin. I also knew that for the moment, it had been tailored to target only Ostiums, but that would be easy enough to change. 

 Zan couldn’t have this. None of the Houses could, but I didn’t know how to get rid of it. 

 Even if I snuck into Pheniks’ department and erased every file on the neurotoxin, they wouldn’t truly be gone. Nothing ever was in the digital world. Someone determined enough could dredge the formula from its informational graveyard. 

 I could blow up every storecase on that level, but Zan would take that as an act of attrition. The precarious peace that I’d had to tiptoe around for the last century would fall apart, and Lutov would descend into war. I didn’t want to think about what that would look like, not when one of the Houses had a neurotoxin like this. What might the others be keeping in their deepest vaults? 

 No, my best course of action was to go to Talira— 

 …my brother made me feel safe… 

 —to GO TO TALIRA and trust that she wouldn’t ruin her grandson. Surely, she’d see that Pheniks hadn’t had a choice with this. Surely, she’d protect him. 

 Would I be protecting him if I did this? 

 My lungs and heart stayed frozen in my chest as I wrote a message. 

 Proof acquired. Extracting now. 

 Wrapping my arms around my legs, I buried my face in my knees, shuddering, until I got a response. 

 Confirm. 

 Walking my hands up the wall, I got to my feet, checking my appearance in the mirror. I splashed water on my face to get rid of dried vomit, but I couldn’t do much for my red-rimmed eyes, not unless I wanted to wait for my body’s reversal of it, and I couldn’t stay here long enough for that to happen. 

 When I left the washroom, Nyco was waiting for me, biting his nails. As soon as he could, he grabbed my arms. 

 “Mother Time, you look awful,” he said. “Talk to me, Rylan.” 

 Swallowing hard, I tried to pry his hands off of me. 

 “I will. Just… let me take a walk first, yeah?” I said. “Clear my head?” 

 Furrowing his brow, Nyco released me. 

 “O… k…” he said. 

 Thanking him, I headed for the door, but I paused before leaving. 

 “Make sure you’re squeaky clean, Nyco,” I said. “From what I saw today, I wouldn’t be surprised if Kolb visits us soon. It was…” 

 Trailing off, I shuddered, and Nyco’s expression went flat. 

 “I’ll do that,” he said. 

 Nodding, I used the fastest route I knew to escape from House Zan’s headquarters, scrubbing Rylan from me as I did. When fresh air hit my face, I took a moment to enjoy it, but then, I tucked my chin to my chest, making my way to a second home with trudging feet.

Chapter 17: Heading for a Breakdown
Talira made me a whiskey sour as soon as I walked into her office. Shortly after I became the Lokke Vitras, she’d added the drink’s ingredients to her sparse sideboard, not once harping on how I should stay sober like Korix had used to do. 

 Without a job or sneaking through Kolb’s headquarters to distract me, I was shaking, and I’d tried to stop it. I had, but shivers rumbled over me no matter how much I fought to stop them. It was a miracle that I didn’t spill my drink when Talira handed it to me. 

 She made no comment on my state, merely sitting at her desk, facing me. Folding her hands in front of her, she watched as I partook of her gifted medicine with not one word spoken. When I set an empty glass on top of her desk, she flattened her palms behind it. 

 “Tell me,” she said. 

 I looked away, chewing on my lip. This was the right course of action, yes? I wasn’t about to ruin my brother’s life. Please, please, someone tell me he’d be ok. 

 “Zaeden,” Talira said in a firm voice. “I can’t fix it until you tell me.” 

 I knew this. Squeezing my eyes closed, I took a deep breath, in and out. 

 “Your operatives were right about the weapon.” 

 I forced myself to meet Talira’s gaze with my throat working. 

 “Phen’s involved,” I whispered. 

 Without a word, Talira rose to make me another drink, and when she'd sat again, my story for the last month spilled out of me. I couldn’t speak it like a report, didn’t have the control for it, so details got messy. Feelings got involved. I cried when I told Talira what Pheniks had said about me, thinking I was someone else. 

 Not once did she judge me. She was an immovable rock, listening without her expression changing, and when I was done, holding my head in my hands, she reached across her desk to pull my fingers out of my hair. 

 “Ok. You did the right thing, coming in now,” she said. “I want you to go home. Let me take care of the rest.” 

 Lifting my head, I said, “Phen?” 

 Talira patted her claimed hand. 

 “I will do everything in my power to help your brother. He is my grandson, after all,” she said. “Go home, Zae-zae. Take a few days, like I promised.” 

 “I… will,” I said. “Thank you, shukusen.” 

 “Of course,” Talira said. “I’ll message you when I need you back. Say hi to Leski and Ko for me.” 

 I promised that I would, but once I was free of headquarters, I didn’t head to the Southern Fells like I should. Evening had come with people setting aside their work for the day, and I didn’t look like the Lokke Vitras. I found the closest source of dance music and proceeded to get thoroughly wasted. 

 Most of the next two days passed in a blur, and I caught only glimpses of it through my haze. Lots of dancing, to music I hated and songs that I loved. Taking a hit of kalvna, the drug that the children of Ibis so enjoyed, and fucking loving it. Drinking far too much and throwing most of it back up in secluded walkways. Flirting with way too many pretty people. Finding dark corners in bars to openly grope and do… other things with them, and going home with at least one. 

 In some ways, this behavior reminded me of my more relaxed personas, the ones I used with the partying crowd. Much as I enjoyed these sorts of things from time to time, they weren’t something I was fully comfortable with, not really and especially not with strangers. At some point, I briefly wondered if one of those personas had taken over, but mostly, I tried not to think about that. I tried not to think about anything. 

 All in all, it was an enormously embarrassing forty-eight hours for me, but I badly needed it. I couldn’t shake the feeling that I’d betrayed my little brother, no matter how far down the rabbit hole I fell, but the partying, the drugs, the sex? They dulled this pain, and when I came out on the other side, I didn’t feel like walking in front of a speeding ground transport, even knowing that need would soon return. 

 When I woke up in the early afternoon, two days after I’d left Talira’s office, I was curled up in Korix’s bed with his old apartment in Xygek sheltering me. I was desperately clutching his pillow to my chest while strangling one of Leski’s stuffed animals. Given that none of these things had been here before, I must have dropped by our apartment at some point. 

 Setting aside the pillow and the stuffed bear, I sat up, rubbing my eyes. I didn’t know why I’d returned here, out of all the places I could have gone. My unconscious mind must see it as the ultimate place of safety in this city. That was the only explanation I could think of. Whatever my reason had been, though, it seemed pretty obvious that I should head home. 

 Hopping to the floor, I glanced around, appalled to find no traps in the room. With a head shake, I made for the kitchen and poured myself a glass of water. Ace’s bed was still here, which was… 

 No. 

 With burning eyes, I stalked into the hall, leaning against a wall. Slowly breathing out, I sipped at my water, hoping to appease my body’s need for it, and broke deep cover. 

 Messages flooded into my array, and I had it pick through them for any that had been sent from my various partners. As always after a mission like this, one or two of these people had decided that a relationship with me was too complicated for them, but fortunately, these break-up messages were polite for once. Most, however, just wanted to know where I was and why I wasn’t speaking to them. I responded with a generic message before setting that group of senders aside, for the moment at least. 

 While my array re-scanned my messages for anyone needing my help, I headed for the hangar, wondering if I’d find any vehicles there. I’d rather leave straight from the apartment than find a landing pad. Something about having people around me seemed… too much right now. 

 My array returned from its scan with a few messages that fit my parameters, but I gave them not once glance, forwarding them to Talira instead. She’d said I could have a few days? I wasn’t touching House business until she dragged me back in. 

 Now came what was usually the best part of breaking deep cover, but for some reason, I was reluctant to do it this time, so I put it off. A couple of skycruisers were collecting dust in the hangar, thank Mother Time, so I climbed into one, feeding it my estate’s coordinates and my designator. 

 As it rose into the sky, I started the changes that would return my body to normal. Simple things like hair and eye color should be finished by the time I got home, but things like regaining my height and losing this flab would take time and exercise. I could accelerate the process, going into hibernation again, but… no. As a rule, I didn’t do that unless a mission required it. 

 And I had nothing else to delay me. I made my requests, holding my hand out in front of me. Initial contact after breaking deep cover was always done through a direct connection, one that was accompanied by visuals. This way, they’d have a good idea of how I’d appear when I came home. 

 An image beamed from my palm: Korix with a lot of air traffic behind him. 

 “Zae! Have you…?” 

 As he trailed off, I tried on a smile. I’d forgotten to check how I looked before leaving the apartment, so I didn’t know how much of a mark the last two days had made on me. 

 After examining me, Korix went blank. 

 “Shit,” he said under his breath. 

 Like he hadn’t wanted me to hear it. For the first time in a while, I didn’t care that he’d cursed around me. 

 Turning aside, I said, “Yeah.” 

 “Do you want…?” he asked. 

 Closing my eyes, I huffed, shaking my head. 

 “Are you in Xygek?” I asked. “That’s odd for you.” 

 “I’m doing research for my book,” Korix said. “Zae. Are you sure-?” 

 “You still haven’t told me what it’s about,” I interrupted. “Oh! Do you want someone to read your drafts? I’d love to do it.” 

 He just stared at me, expressionless for a moment, before taking off with people on the walkway flashing past him. 

 “Right,” he said. “I’m on my way home.” 

 “You don’t need to-” 

 The image of Korix moved to one side with a projection of Leski appearing beside it. She looked harried with paint smudges spackling her face. 

 “Sorry it took so long to answer,” she gasped. “I had to crawl my way free of the nursery. Hey, love!” 

 She kept speaking, but I didn’t hear her. I’d forgotten about our eminent kid. How the hell had I forgotten? 

 With a fist in my throat, I cut through Leski’s diatribe, noting the worry building on her face. 

 “I’ll be home soon,” I said. “It’s…” 

 I didn’t know what else to say, so I cut the connections, curling my fingers into my palms. 

 “Fuck,” I hiccupped. 

 Huddling in my seat, I fought everything that was ripping through me. For the first time in decades, I regulated my hormones for something other than a mission, but considering how little I changed their levels, it didn’t help much. 

 I should have expected this. When it came to my work as the Lokke Vitras, I tended to have a cycle. First, I was fine, handling every vicious mauling of my soul without a problem. Then, it built to a teetering point, and I went dead inside. 

 And last, I broke. Sometimes, Talira would give me a few days to recover before I reached this point, but she’d been too late this time, and this time had involved family. I had always, always, ALWAYS been fragile when it came to those I loved. 

 Oh, Mother Time. What had I done to my little brother?

Chapter 18: A... Worrying Incident
With a shuddering gasp, I straightened in my seat. A blanket fell over my senses as I fumbled for the knife that was always stashed beside the console in these skycruisers. I had to let this awfulness, boiling inside of me, out. I had to relieve this guilt, so I set the blade’s edge to my forearm and with a jerk, opened its containing skin. 

 And it helped. A little. As blood trickled from the wound, dripping onto my clothes, I watched, fixated, while waiting for my body to fix itself. Once it had, I reversed its work and hell… 

 Why did something this destructive make me feel so much better? 

 They found me like this. I wasn’t aware of landing, held prisoner by a flashing blade and the heated flow of my worthlessness from each cut. I was so enthralled by it that I didn’t resist when someone snatched the knife away from me, just holding my mesmerized eyes on flesh that was slowly knitting together. 

 Why did it do that? Why wouldn’t my body let me have a shred of evidence about how much I disgusted myself? 

 “What do we do?” a subdued voice asked. 

 With a sigh, someone else said, “Everything we can.” 

 A shadow passed over me, quickly followed by warmth taking hold of my wrists, and I was dragged into bright light. I followed an insistent tug, aware somewhere deep inside of what was happening, but I was ignoring that part of my brain, ignoring anything that would steal me from this blissfully numb ignorance. I’d turned myself off, and I dared someone to bring me back. 

 Clothes came off of me, piece by piece, and when my shirt was removed, a little sob filled the air. 

 “So much blood,” someone said. “Why would he…?” 

 “I don’t know,” someone else murmured. 

 Fabric flopped to the floor while a wet rag was wiped over the stickiness on my body. 

 “Has… this… happened before?” 

 “No. Similar things but never anything this extreme.” 

 With my body cleaned up, an outfit was wrestled onto me. 

 “What do you think happened? It must have been bad to…” 

 The silence stretched, and I listened to it, curious about what he’d say. 

 “Would you agree that protecting and supporting his loved ones is among Zae’s most central traits?” 

 “Oh, absolutely. Without the people he loves, Zaeden would probably self-destruct.” 

 I could imagine the pointed look he was giving her now. 

 “Oh… Oh, Mother Time. Do you think…?” 

 “I do. This deep-cover mission probably had him hurt someone he loves, most likely Pheniks, and you know how he is about his little brother.” 

 “SHIT! Mother fucking Time, damn it all to hell! What the fuck do we do?” 

 “I told you. I don’t know. Something similar happened to me when I was the Lokke Vitras, and my reaction was… not good. I was persistently drunk. For a week. It’s why I don’t drink anymore. Talira had to send all of Kolb’s Second Strata to snap me out of it, and even then, I wasn’t right. I didn’t fully recover for almost a decade.” 

 “I’m… so sorry.” 

 “It’s in the past. It doesn’t matter.” 

 Somewhere, one person hugged another. 

 “Still, we can’t let that happen to Zae. No one deserves to suffer like you did, least of all him. He’s too good… Not that you’re bad, Ko.” 

 “I knew what you meant.” 

 Someone hummed. 

 “Maybe… the nursery? Do you think seeing our progress with it would help?” 

 “It couldn’t hurt.” 

 Again, I was tugged along, and I should… feel safe. I should… feel whole and right. Even purposefully ignorant of my surroundings, I knew this. But I was just… 

 I was nothing. 

 “How are we getting him through this mess?’ 

 “I’ll clear a path. You stay with him.” 

 Noise battered at my mind’s door, and the grip on my wrist tightened. 

 “Please be ok,” someone said. “Please, love.” 

 I was ushered somewhere bright and colorful. Such happy hues. What I was looking at must be nice. 

 “What do you think, Zae? We did what you asked. It’ll be a while before it’s finished, but it’s a start.” 

 Something warm caressed its fingers over my skin, matching the glow surrounding us. The sun? Why was its color more orange than yellow? Was it already evening? 

 “It’s not working. Why isn’t it working, Ko?” 

 “Stop, love. You cannot lose it right now. Zaeden will be fine. He just needs time. Help me get him on the floor, and we can just…” 

 “Hold him?” 

 “It’s all I have.” 

 I was sitting between the two halves of my home, and the comfort of it brushed up against me, beckoning. Cajoling. I wanted to indulge this request to dive into them and let everything fall away, but that would involve turning my attention to my surroundings. To be with them, I’d have to drop the safety of numbing ignorance, and I didn’t… I didn’t know if I wanted that. 

 “I haven’t eaten anything all day. Do the drones’ sweeps include this room again yet?” 

 He’d sounded lazy, like he was drifting off. 

 “No. Sorry. They kept knocking the paint cans over.” 

 She’d sounded like she was barely holding herself together. 

 “That’s ok. I can find one. Will you be all right by yourself for a few minutes?” 

 “I think so.” 

 “Ok. I’ll be right back. Everything will be fine, Leski.” 

 Oh… I knew that tone. It was the one he used when he was scared. I didn’t often hear it, but when I did, it worried me. Why didn’t it bother me now? 

 One half of my home left me, and the fingers of warmth on my body slowly retreated while an orange glow darkened. A single sob broke against my ears while damp heat pressed into my neck. 

 What was this? I knew this feeling. I didn’t like it. My comforting cocoon shuddered, and I knew what was happening. She was crying. 

 That was not fucking allowed. 

 When I blinked myself into awareness, I drew my eyebrows together. Well. This room had changed. 

 Once a place where guests could sleep, metal cans now cluttered it with a tarp laid over its carpet. A half-finished painting of flowers and stars and… a castle—why was there a castle?—filled the wall opposite me, and to either side, boxes and cribs crowded an otherwise open space. 

 I was on the ground with my back against a wall, and for the life of me, I couldn’t remember the specifics of how I’d gotten here. I remembered cutting the connection to Leski and Korix before curling into a ball. A few vague memories from the fugue between were hovering at the edge of my awareness too, but not much else came to me. 

 Sniffling drew my gaze to Leski, who was shaking against me, and my heart jumped into my throat. 

 “Love?” I said. “Are you ok?” 

 I pulled on her, and she assisted me by springing upright. Wincing, I wiped her cheeks free of tears, refusing to see her gaping mouth and wide eyes. 

 “Oh, Mother Time, you’re all right,” she said in a rush. 

 Snaking her arms around my neck, she held me tight, almost uncomfortably so, and frowning, I patted her head. 

 “Of course I am,” I said. “I always am.” 

 Tilting her head the bare minimum, Leski peered up at me, and I turned away from what I saw, making a sweep over the nursery instead. 

 “You and Ko were busy while I’ve been gone,” I said. “Who’s doing the painting? You?” 

 She had had paint on her face earlier. 

 “We both are. Maybe you can add something to,” Leski said. “Zae, do you not…?” 

 When I glanced at her, she was biting her lip. 

 “Do I not, what?” I asked, raising an eyebrow. 

 But she shook her head, pulling away from me. 

 “It’s nothing,” she said, “but I think you and Ko need to have a check-in chat.” 

 My breathing hitched for a moment before I pushed Leski’s head against my chest. 

 “Maybe,” I said. 

 “Maybe?” 

 Shoving away from me, Leski clambered to sit on my thighs. She took hold of my cheeks, forcing me to meet her eyes. 

 “Zaeden. Love,” she said. “You were cutting yourself open.” 

 And I just stared at her because what was I supposed to say? Sighing, Leski rested her forehead in the hollow of my neck. 

 “I’m not good at this part. You know that,” she said. “So, I’ll let you and Ko handle it because it’s your thing, but I need you to promise me that you’ll address it instead of burying it like you sometimes do. You scared the shit out of me. I don’t ever want a repeat of the last few hours.” 

 Damn, she knew how to get to me. With my cheeks still squashed, my voice emerged mushed. 

 “I… will speak with Ko.” 

 “Speak with me about what?” 

 Korix sailed into the room, balancing three trays on his arms, and I narrowed my eyes at him. What did he think he was doing? He had to know that I’d caught him hovering for the last half of that exceedingly painful conversation. 

 “Zae,” he said, “nice to see you.” 

 I nodded at him, and carefully, he folded to the ground beside us, handing out trays. Leski climbed off of me, which had the three of us gathered for an impromptu picnic dinner, but before we could begin, a thought occurred to me. 

 “Have you heard any chatter about Zan in the last two days?” I asked. 

 My partners paused in reaching for utensils before they turned cheery grins on me. 

 “Why are you asking me?” Korix said. “I’m hardly ever involved in House business anymore.” 

 Shrugging, I said, “You were in the city when I requested a connection. For book research, was it?” 

 “Ah,” Korix said. “No. I heard nothing while in Xygek. Leski?” 

 Shifting in place, Leski fixed her eyes on her untouched food. 

 “Over the last couple of days, the House has come up a lot, yes,” she said, “but I wasn’t paying enough attention to remember the specifics. I was a little focused on this.” 

 She waved at the nursery. 

 “Why do you ask, Zae?” 

 Why had I asked? Did I want to further torment myself? 

 …How sad was it that the answer to that was yes? 

 “Can’t talk about it,” I said. “Correction. I don’t know if I can talk about it.” 

 I stabbed my fork into noodles and cream sauce, aggressively twirling it, and pointedly ignored Leski’s nervous glance at Korix. 

 “What have you been up to for the last few weeks?” 

 After pointing at them with my noodle-laden fork, I shoved it into my mouth, barely tasting a dish that I usually loved. 

 “Besides working on this and missing you?” Leski said. “The usual. Nothing exciting.” 

 “I like the usual,” I said. “Tell me about it.” 

 So, they did. While we ate dinner, they talked, and I let their voices, their stories, their presences ease me further away from the cliff that I’d stood upon. When we were done, I gathered our plates, bringing them to the first drone I could find. Maybe calling one to me would have been easier, but I needed a break, much like I suspected Korix had earlier. 

 Their worry… concerned me. Had I truly been so bad off when I arrived home? 

 Stopping short, I examined my behavior from this afternoon, or what I could remember of it, and winced. 

 “Yeah…” I sighed. “That wasn’t great.” 

 And they'd seen it. I needed to get back in there and reassure them that everything was ok.

Chapter 19: Finally, Home
When I returned to the nursery, Korix was sprawled on the floor while Leski was transfixed by her work on the wall. Watching her suck on her lip, I collapsed beside my life partner, leaning into him. 

 “She’s not bad,” I said. 

 Korix rested his head on mine with a snort. 

 “I asked her to do the flowers for a reason, Zae. Her sense of proportion…” 

 He shuddered. 

 “But yes, for someone who’s new to this art form, she’s all right.” 

 With a scowl in place, I glared up at him as much as I could, but he only patted my knee. 

 “She’s rejecting nerve signals from her ears to give us privacy,” Korix said. “Probably listening to that Maliva piece she’s obsessed with right now.” 

 “Ah.” 

 While I collected my thoughts, Leski added brilliant purple and teal to her floral collection, and Korix patiently waited. 

 “You were right,” I eventually managed. “It has to do with Pheniks.” 

 Korix lifted his head off of mine, pulling away. 

 “You heard that?” he asked before shaking his head. “What am I thinking? Of course you did. I taught you how to catalogue what’s happening around you, no matter what state you’re in.” 

 “Mm,” I hummed. “I’d probably remember everything from the last two days if I let myself.” 

 Maybe. But I supposed whether I could do it didn’t matter. Unless something made me, I had no intention of thinking about the specifics of what had happened. 

 “Two days?” Korix asked. 

 Sighing, I said, “I’ll get to that, Ko.” 

 With a hesitant nod, Korix settled against me once more. 

 “So. Pheniks?” he asked. 

 “Pheniks,” I said. 

 With nausea threatening to rise up my throat, I burrowed into Korix, and every reduction of the space between us lent me strength. I could only speak these dreaded, hated words when I felt entirely safe and secure. 

 “I betrayed my brother.” 

 With my confession in the open, I started trembling, falling into myself until I approached a point that no one could rescue me from. 

 “Are you sure that’s what you did?” Korix asked. 

 Tensing, I lifted my eyes to him with frost spreading through me at an alarming rate. 

 “What?” I said with my voice dead. 

 “All I’m saying is that when it comes to loved ones, you tend to blow things out of proportion,” Korix said. “Half of the time, the supposed disaster comes nowhere close to your perception of it.” 

 I took a moment to consider this, and… he was right. My family and partners had always been the one thing I’d struggled to remain calm about. 

 Sitting up, I rested my chin on Korix’s shoulder. 

 “Are you calling me a drama queen?” I asked. 

 Rolling his eyes, Korix said, “You certainly enjoy drama enough for the title. So? Is your problem with Pheniks as horrible as you think it is?” 

 Biting my lip, I rocked my head back and forth with one eye closed. 

 “It might not be,” I eventually concluded. “I went to Talira with what I discovered, and she promised to help but…” 

 “You don’t trust her?” Korix asked. 

 “I’d love to say that I do,” I said, “but I definitely don’t.” 

 “Hmm.” 

 We fell silent, grinning at Leski when she snuck glances at us. She probably wanted to be with us, which I couldn’t fault. I hadn’t given her enough of my time lately, even before my recent mission. 

 “Is that all of it?” Korix said. “Considering that you defaulted on our last chat, I thought you’d have more to say.” 

 “It’s just more of the same. This year’s been tough, Ko, but Talira gave me a few days. We can talk everything out over the course of them. Dilute the strain on us,” I said. “But what about you? Any progression since our last check-in?” 

 I hoped that wasn’t the case. His last fall into the past had seemed like it might herald an increase in symptoms, but maybe I was wrong. 

 For a moment, Korix rubbed my arm without speaking, but then, he shifted. 

 “I’m… seeing… things more,” he said. “It’s still manageable, so there’s no need to worry, but it’s… new.” 

 Damn. Looked like I’d been right. 

 “Ok. Thanks for telling me.” 

 Smiling, Korix kissed my forehead. 

 “It’s our arrangement, is it not?” he said. 

 In answer, I lowered my face to his chest, breathing him in. This was how our check-in system worked. We started with a chat about everything that was concerning us, and then, we slept on it. In the morning, we discussed possible, new coping methods. It worked for us. 

 “You two done?” Leski asked in an overly loud voice. 

 After exchanging a glance with Korix, I nodded at her, and she winced, shaking her head. 

 “Great,” she said. “Can I get some help, then?” 

 She held out a paintbrush, and I leapt to claim it. Together, we worked on our baby’s mural, Leski with her flowers and Korix adding knights to his castle. I didn’t know how I’d missed it for over a hundred years, but apparently, he liked classic fantasy tales. 

 I got stuck staring at my assigned section of the wall, unsure of what I wanted to add. What did I want my child to look at during the first formative years of their life? It needed to be something I could quickly complete. Who knew how much time I could spend here in the coming months? 

 Eventually, I started painting with no end goal in mind, letting my unconscious mind guide me. It was strangely meditative, imparting a measure of peace, but every so often, my gaze drifted to my forearm, where blood had been leaking not long ago. 

 Getting what I needed had come so much more quickly that way, but it had become compulsive too. My hand had refused to stop its carve into me. I didn’t know which was better: the slow and steady pace or the quick and highly addictive one. Why wasn’t there something in between? 

 Dimly, I was aware of first Leski and then Korix leaving me to get some sleep. Their kisses on my cheek blended with the spread of paint across drywall, and their good night wishes mixed with the rustle of my brush’s bristles in the wall’s pockmarks. 

 I wasn’t sure how late it was when I finished, but when I stepped back, I knew the contentment spreading through me was showing through my smile. This image was exactly what I wanted my child to see every time they woke up. 

 Heavy fingers dropped my paintbrush, and as I made my way to our bedroom, fatigue nipped at me. I stumbled down halls and through a door, and when I reached it, I toppled into bed with my clothes halfway off before falling victim to sleep. 

 I dreamed about my brother. With a wild visage, Pheniks appeared in front of me, halfway concealed by a foreboding door, and he asked me one question without end. Why, why, why, why, why, why-? 

 Something yanked me free of the nightmare, although I wasn’t sure what it was. Maybe it was someone turning me onto my back. 

 Maybe it was the warmth that wrapped itself around my entire body. Considering… everything, I was keyed up enough for these usually safe—and therefore, unable to wake me up—things to rattle me straight to full awareness. 

 Gasping, I snapped my eyes open, only for one of my partners to brush their fingers along my chest with shushing sounds. 

 “It’s all right. You’re all right." 

 After a moment where I got my breathing under control, I said, “Leski?” 

 She hummed. 

 “Nightmare?” the partner on my right… Korix sleepily said. 

 “…Yeah. I didn’t mean to wake you two up.” 

 Snuggling closer, Leski said, “‘s ok. We’re just glad you’re home.” 

 I tried to get back to sleep. Truly, I did. Closing my eyes, I nestled as close to my partners as I could get, but something —a fizz of electricity under my skin or a sense of unease—kept my brain from slipping into oblivion. Caught in this state, I tried to stay still, to not fidget, but apparently, I still did that enough that my partners noticed it.  

 A quiet sigh soon broke the quiet, and before I could apologize for keeping them up, soft kisses were leaving popping sparks along my chest and side. I fought to organize my thoughts and say something to let them know I was ok, but I couldn’t force a single word out until my clothes started getting tugged on. Only then could I reach down to stop them. 

 “No,” I said. “I’m too…” 

 What? I was too what? I knew what Korix and Leski were offering: a tried-and-true method to get me relaxed when I was this tense, but something about the situation tonight didn’t feel right. 

 It didn’t matter anyway. Whoever I’d pulled away from me was quickly replaced with my other partner, and I forgot all of the backed-up words I’d meant to say. 

 “You’re too good?” Leski said. “Too kind? Too caring?” 

 “Please,” I begged. “Stop.” 

 And the persistent sense of warmth around me retreated. And two weights settled into place on either side of me. 

 “Is that what you really want?” Korix said. “For us to stop? Or is something else going on?” 

 I didn’t know what the problem was, too disoriented from so many emotions throughout the day and a nightmare disturbing my sleep and the sense of need that both of them had pushed me into. I didn’t know what was wrong with me, and not having a name for this weird sense of turmoil inside scared me a little. 

 Even still, I tried to voice it. 

 “I don’t feel right or in control,” I said, throwing an arm over my face, “and in this state, I’m afraid that I’ll somehow take advantage of you.” 

 They were silent for an agonizingly long moment, and then, my arm was pulled away from me. 

 “You who I can never love,” Korix said, “how can you take advantage of what we want to freely give?” 

 And I peeled my eyes open. I saw them looking down on me with concern, watching them grin with their unique ways of conveying their want. For a brief second, I let myself think outside of my current misery, allowing myself a moment to realize that I needed to relax. Maybe the tried-and-true method would work. 

 “Ok,” I said, even if a knot of unease was still snarled behind my breastbone. 

 Grinning, Leski bent down to me, occluding Korix, and I rose to meet her lips, but she just pushed me back into the sheets. 

 “No. You relax,” she said. “When’s the last time you thought only of yourself, letting someone else take care of you?” 

 “I don’t want-” I started. 

 Leski shoved a finger against my lips. 

 “No lies, Zae. Not even with this,” she said. “So long as you’re ok with it, please let us do as we like.” 

 When she lifted her finger, I could only swallow and nod, and with a soft laugh, Leski pressed her lips to mine while Korix skimmed his hands over my body. We stayed here for a while, but eventually, I’d had enough of it. 

 As I flipped Leski onto her back, settling on my hands and knees over her, I knew something should keep my tongue from opening her mouth, but I didn’t remember what it was. I didn’t let myself remember it. 

 Korix hugged me from behind, sweeping his fingers over my chest and abdomen, and from his insistent press against me, I didn’t think he cared how soft of a body my last persona had required. He brushed his lips along my spine, raising hairs all over my body, and when Leski pulled my waist to hers, trapping me between them, I joined them in a combination of soft curses and praises to all the holy things that we didn’t believe in. 

 That was when I got the alert. 

 Someone’s at the door, it read. 

 I knew Korix and Leski had gotten the same message, but they didn’t respond to it. So, rolling my eyes, I dug my mind out of the pit of lust I’d been submerged in. 

 “Who is it?” I asked in sub-vocals. 

 First Stratus Pheniks of House Zan was my response. 

 Sucking in a breath, I went cold while my partners peeled away from me with furrowed faces. 

 “Give me a visual,” I said. 

 I lifted my hand, and above my palm, my brother appeared, pounding on the front door. His hair was standing up in spikes with his clothes disheveled and his face unshaven, and he was shouting at no one. 

 “Please, Zae! Let me in! I- I need help. Please!” 

 My heart was a stone in my chest. Taking hold of my elbow, Korix shook his head. 

 “Zaeden, don’t-” 

 “Let him in,” I said. 

 Folding my hand on an image of Pheniks, I got out of bed, shoving impediments aside. I barely remembered to grab my clothes before racing into the hall with raised voices fading behind me. 

 In this moment, I didn’t care what they said. My little brother needed me. Hell, if I wouldn’t help him.

Chapter 20: How to Help
It was amazing how much time compressed when you were panicking. I could swear that I’d just been upstairs with my partners, but here I was, barely understanding Pheniks as he babbled, and I didn’t remember how I’d gotten here. 

 Holding my brother’s elbow, I supported half of his weight while guiding him to the closest seat. He folded on himself, pressing the heels of his palms into his eyes, and I crouched in front of him. 

 “Pheniks,” I threw into the stream of his words. 

 They stopped, and he peered over his fingers at me. 

 “What happened?” I said. 

 He didn’t want to answer me, shooting his eyes to the ceiling while his jaw clenched, but I knew how to pull words out of my brother. 

 Resting my palm on his knee, I said, “I can’t help you unless you talk to me.” 

 Pheniks crossed his arms. Shifted a little. But he did start speaking. 

 “House Kolb is what happened,” he said. “Their high and middle Strata swarmed headquarters, capturing my subordinates. It was a nightmare, but I slipped past them. Thank Mother Time I’ve kept up some of my Kolb skills. I came straight here because what I’ve been doing for my House in recent years may not have been strictly legal, and… how do you not know about this?” 

 So, Talira had started her raid. I’d hoped to stay in the dark about it for as long as possible, putting off learning its outcome until my internal turmoil could subside, but this? This was quite possibly the best way our current situation could have gone. I wouldn’t have to trust Talira with helping my brother now because I’d have a hand in what happened to him. 

 “Zaeden!” Pheniks shouted. “How do you-?” 

 “Talira sent me home a few days ago,” I said, “and since I left Xygek, I haven’t been keeping up with Kolb’s activities.” 

 Troubled, Pheniks asked, “Did she mean to keep this from you?” 

 Oh, hell. His belief in me hurt. 

 “I doubt it,” I said. “Sometimes, she sends me away when she thinks I need a break.” 

 Frowning, Pheniks said, “Why would you need a break? You’re-” 

 He stopped before speaking the words that he knew I hated, which made me smile. He was doing as I’d asked, thinking before he spoke when he was around me. 

 “The Lokke Vitras?” I finished for him. “I’m still me, Phen. Accepting the title didn’t make me a superhuman, immune to stress.” 

 “Huh,” Pheniks said with a look of disquiet on his face. 

 I’d love to further disabuse Lutov’s conditioning about my role for him, but we needed to focus on his problem. 

 Shuffling closer to him, I asked, “Can you tell me what you were working on?” 

 Pheniks refused to meet my eyes. 

 “Something bad,” he quietly said. “Bad enough that I’m in small part grateful that your House disrupted it.” 

 Kolb wasn’t my… Oh, what was the point? 

 “Is it something that could see you exiled?” I asked. 

 When he flinched, I winced. 

 “I’m sorry. I don’t want to distress you,” I said, “but I need to know how bad it is.” 

 Never mind that I was perfectly aware of what his answer would be. He had to give it to me if he was to believe that I’d had nothing to do with his current crisis. 

 Shifting, Pheniks said, “It might.” 

 “Well, shit,” I said. “Ok. Can we mitigate this? Maybe… why were you working on the project? Just for curiosity’s sake or…?” 

 Please, say that Pheniks would answer this question. If I was right about why he’d accepted the project and he told me about it, he might have a chance at escaping a total ruination of his life. There would still be consequences for his actions, but he’d remain a part of Lutovish society. His array and its functions wouldn’t be taken from him. 

 First, though, my brother had to answer my question. First, he had to betray his House. 

 Pheniks’ face worked up, going red. 

 “I… can’t answer that,” he said. “It’s House business.” 

 Shit. 

 “House business,” I said in an empty voice. “Tell me, Phen. Is House Zan worth getting exiled over? Is-?” 

 “Yes,” Pheniks interrupted. “Absolutely, yes. I can be who I am because of my House. If losing my array is the price that’s needed for Zan’s integrity, I will pay it.” 

 Ok, then. I didn’t know whether to be frustrated with my brother or admire his conviction. I chose admiration. 

 With a soft smile, I said, “That’s amazing, Phen. I’m glad that you love your House so much.” 

 Halfway into the process of making an indignant retort, Pheniks paused, eyeing me. 

 “You… are?” he said. “I thought you hated the Houses. You complain about them often enough.” 

 “I hate the system,” I said. “The Houses, at their core, aren’t so bad. I like the idea of an organization that’s focused on a single area of study, filled with people who are passionate about it, but when politics get involved?” 

 I made a face. I had many more issues with the Houses than the system itself, of course, but complaining about them now wouldn’t get me what I wanted. 

 “So, let’s look at the essence of Zan. Your House researches phenomena like the bloodsong while also working to advance the technological field,” I said. “Knowing this and given what you said about your project, is it something that exemplifies Zan?” 

 Closing his eyes, Pheniks hissed out a breath. 

 “That’s not my decision to make,” he said. 

 “I think it is.” 

 When Pheniks snapped his eyes open, I nodded. 

 “You’re Zan’s First Stratus. You have an enormous say in how your House is run,” I said. “Not only that but do you remember what Ko said when he first met you, so many years ago?” 

 “Something about being the epitome of Zan,” Pheniks said. 

 “Sounds about right,” I said. “So, tell me. As someone who’s so desperately loyal to the idea of what Zan should be, should your project be a part of it?” 

 With his jaw working, Pheniks hung his head. 

 “No,” he said in a small voice. 

 “Then, why do it?” 

 Pheniks peered at me from behind his hair, hanging in his face. 

 “Because…” 

 For a moment, I thought he’d keep his ‘secret’, refusing to give me what I needed to save his life, but then, words spilled out of him in a rush. 

 “Because my shukusen ordered it,” he said. 

 Finally. Thank all that might be holy. 

 “Ok,” I said, licking my lips. “Ok, here’s what we’re going to do. We’ll visit Talira, and you’re going to tell her what you just said as well as everything about this project of yours. You don’t have to speak a word about Zan’s other projects, but we have to know every detail about this one if we’re going to pin it on Arion. Once Talira’s in the loop, we’ll go from there, but Phen?” 

 I reached up to squeeze his shoulder. 

 “You’ll be ok. I’ll make sure of it.” 

 He was very quiet and seemed so very lost, and looking at him, I saw my kid brother, hurt by a bully again. 

 I was going to bring Arion down. 

 Ha! Once this was over, I’d have removed two shukusenth from power in a little over a hundred years. That must be a record. 

 On leading Pheniks to the hangar, I noted two, darker splotches in the shadows at the end of the corridor. After telling my brother to get in a skycruiser, I wandered to Leski and Korix. 

 “What are you doing?” Korix asked with his arms crossed. 

 Taking in his disapproving stare, I said, “My job. Do you have a problem with that?” 

 Korix opened his mouth to reply, but Leski rested a hand on his shoulder, stopping him. 

 “Ok, Zae. Be careful,” she said, “and please. Please, please, please. Keep us and yourself in your thoughts over the next few hours.” 

 Hell, I hadn’t even thought about that. What if this crisis forced me to choose between my brother’s happiness and theirs? 

 It wouldn’t come to that. I wouldn’t let it. 

 “Everything will be fine. I promise,” I said. “Now, give me kisses goodbye?” 

 There was such trepidation in them! It hurt me to see it, even as they did what I’d asked. 

 When I joined Pheniks in the skycruiser he’d chosen, he was leaning against a window, staring at nothing, so I left him alone for the moment, feeding coordinates to the console. Once we’d reached a sufficient altitude, however, I turned on him. 

 “When’s the last time you slept?” I asked. 

 “What does it matter?” he said. 

 Oh, damn. He’d sounded like I had when reporting to Talira a few days ago. 

 “You look terrible,” I said. “If you’ve been awake for too long, you won’t be coherent when we speak with our grandmother, which she won’t like. You should get some rest before we reach the capital.” 

 Pheniks was quiet for far too long, folding in on himself. 

 “I can’t,” he said. “I’ve tried, but I just can’t.” 

 “Then, start a dream sequence,” I said. “I know it’s not an ideal way to fall asleep but… sometimes, it’s the only way.” 

 Lifting his forehead off of the glass, Pheniks turned to me, and I could feel his stare boreing into me, but I couldn’t acknowledge it. 

 “Phen,” I said. “Please. Go to sleep.” 

 Sighing, he plastered himself against the window again. 

 “Ok.” 

 After my brother’s breathing had evened out, I waited for five minutes before contacting Talira. 

 “The fuck, Zae-zae?” she mumbled after accepting the connection. “You’re supposed to be… Why are you waking me up in the middle-?” 

 “I have Phen with me,” I said. 

 “Phen…” 

 There was a snort followed by the sound of something heavy hitting the floor. 

 “Zaeden, no House, you’d better not be fucking with me,” Talira hissed. 

 Oo. She only broke that moniker out when she was super pissed. Or worried. 

 “I’m not,” I said. “He came to my home, begging for help, and after I calmed him down, he admitted that Arion ordered him to lead this neurotoxin project. I’m bringing him to you now.” 

 Talira started cursing with some of her expletives ones I’d never heard before. I found them quite impressive. 

 “Does he know about Rylan?” she asked. 

 “No.” 

 What did she think I was? An operative in their first year? 

 “Do you want me to tell him?” I asked. 

 “I don’t think that’s wise,” Talira said, “but it might come out in his debrief, so prepare yourself accordingly.” 

 “Understood,” I said. 

 Obviously, I’d prefer it if Pheniks never learned about how I’d deceived and manipulated him, but all I wanted from this disaster was to keep him safe. If that meant he learned about my deep-cover mission in Zan, so be it. 

 “Bring him to my apartment,” Talira continued. “Hopefully, a neutral setting will make him more comfortable than a rival House’s headquarters.” 

 “Smart,” I said. “Anything else?” 

 “Nothing. Only…” 

 While she gathered her thoughts, I placidly waited. 

 “Are you ok?” she asked. “Have you had enough time to recover?” 

 Not even a little bit. 

 “Does it matter?” I asked. “House business came to my door tonight. Am I, as the Lokke Vitras, supposed to ignore it because I’m not at my best?” 

 Slowly, Talira breathed out. 

 “I’ll see you in a few hours, then,” she said. 

 “I’ll be there as soon as I can,” I said. 

 Quietly, I waited for her to cut the connection, and although Talira hesitated for a moment, she eventually did that. Pulling my legs up on my seat, I faced my brother, leaning against the door. See what I’d done to him, fitfully sleeping as he was and a total mess. 

 Watching him, my fingers itched for the steel of a blade, but I focused on how I’d help Pheniks rather than indulging that need. As we flew to Xygek, I started building his case, for when he’d eventually need it.

Chapter 21: I'm Sorry, Brother
I hadn’t gotten far with Pheniks’ defense when the skycruiser landed in our grandmother’s hangar. Reaching over, I shook my brother. 

 “Phen,” I said. 

 He woke up with sleepy murmurs, scrunching his face up when he saw me. 

 “Zae? What are you-?” 

 As remembrance crawled into him, Pheniks went pale, drooping. 

 “Oh. Right,” he said. “Where are we?” 

 “Xygek,” I said. “Our grandmother’s apartment.” 

 Nodding, Pheniks rubbed his face. 

 “So…?” he said. 

 “So, now we talk to her,” I said. “Are you ready?” 

 Meeting my eyes, Pheniks said, “No. But I have to be, don’t I?” 

 I couldn’t offer him reassurances, no matter how much I might want to. I’d love to say that whatever happened, I’d keep him safe, but despite how I might lie to myself, I wasn’t sure I could make him that promise. Not again. Look what had happened the last time I’d had to choose between him and something else of importance! So, I squeezed his shoulder and got out of the skycruiser.  

 Talira was waiting for us in her kitchen with a bathrobe thrown on and her hair in disarray. Had she gone back to bed after we’d spoken, or was this an attempt to make Pheniks feel guilty? 

 When we entered, she was standing in front of her refectory with a finger tapping on an elbow, and as if timed for our arrival, it dinged. Opening it, she retrieved two mugs before offering them to us. 

 “Caf?” she asked. 

 Mother Time, she knew us well. Pheniks and I descended on her like a pack of hyenas, and once we’d taken what she held, Talira guided us to her kitchen table. While she waited for the refectory to make breakfast, we huddled over our mugs, refusing to meet each other’s eyes. Even still, I caught Pheniks jumping when our grandmother slid plates onto the table, and I had to hide a smile. 

 Talira sat between us, and in response to her presence, Pheniks and I straightened. 

 “Shukusen-” my brother started. 

 “Uh-uh,” Talira said, lifting her fork. “I’m your grandmother right now, Phen, and both you and your brother look like shit. Eat your food, and once you’re done, we can talk.” 

 Pheniks frowned at his plate. 

 “I’m not hungry,” he said. 

 “It’s cute that you think I care.” 

 Smiling at him, Talira clicked her teeth on the tines of her fork before swallowing, and Pheniks reluctantly followed her example. 

 Meanwhile, I was already halfway through my waffles, but then, over the years, I’d learned to eat food whenever it was put in front of me. One could never know if or when one would get another meal. 

 Breakfast was quiet, and throughout it, I ignored the air of unease that was swirling around us, especially when I finished first. I sipped at the dregs of my caf until they set their utensils down, and while drones collected the dirty dishes, Talira rested her elbows on the table, rubbing her face. 

 “All right, Pheniks,” she said. “Let’s discuss why my people raided House Zan yesterday.” 

 “Yes, let’s,” Pheniks said. “Would you mind explaining why you thought that was within your rights?” 

 Cocking her head, Talira glanced at me, and I shrugged. I didn’t know why he was responding with hostility. After everything we’d discussed, I’d thought he was ready to cooperate. 

 “The reason behind it doesn’t matter, considering what we found in Zan’s headquarters, but I’ll indulge you,” Talira said. “My operatives in your House told me about your project, and on learning about it, I moved to end it, as is my right.” 

 Slowly, Pheniks slumped in his chair. 

 “I’m sorry,” he said. “I had to at least try… Loyalty to House isn’t so easily discarded for me.” 

 “We discussed this, Phen,” I said. “You are being loyal to Zan or to Zan at its ideal, at least.” 

 Pheniks rolled his eyes at me, but he turned to Talira. 

 “What do you want from me, shukusen?” he asked. “I’d like to make this right.” 

 “First Stratus, you should already know what I want,” Talira said. 

 Nodding, Pheniks said, “Everything.” 

 He launched into it: a detailed description of the neurotoxin, the process of making it, and how it had been developed. All of it was spoken in a dry voice, like my brother was reading a report, not talking about creating one of the worst atrocities that I’d seen in my time as the Lokke Vitras. 

 “I don’t know how much it matters, but I didn’t want to head this project,” he said at the end. “When Arion gave it to me, I considered coming to one of you with it but…” 

 He shrugged. 

 “House before family.” 

 Before innocent lives as well, apparently. 

 After a beat of silence, Talira slowly breathed out, laying her hands on the table. 

 “Given your cooperation now and your relative helplessness at the time of your crimes, I can lessen the consequences for you,” she said. “You’ll probably lose Stratus, and I have no doubt that your subordinates will be stripped of House, but whatever punishment is handed down, all of you should recover from it. At the very least, you won’t be exiled. We’ll need to-” 

 “That’s not good enough,” Pheniks said. 

 Sucking air through her nose, Talira shut her mouth while I snapped my eyes to slits. What the hell was my brother doing? 

 “From the lack of questions about it, I’m guessing you weren’t aware that this project originated outside of Zan. It was undertaken at the request of someone in another House,” Pheniks continued. “I don’t know who it was, but if you want me to tell you which House they claim, you’ll have to make me a better offer, both for myself and my subordinates.” 

 Talira’s face had emptied of emotion, and seeing that, a tiny voice started screaming in my head. Mother Time, what the fuck had my brother done? 

 “What makes you think I won’t use a Puppeteer on you, getting this information from you without your permission?” Talira asked with her voice cold. “You’ve given me enough of a reason to use it.” 

 “Only if using it is what you want, though,” Pheniks said. “I’m your grandson, and while I doubt that counts for much when compared to getting what you need, it’ll make conceding to my demands the easiest course of action for you.” 

 Something twitched in Talira’s forehead and shit. Shit, shit, shit! I needed to derail this before Pheniks got himself killed. 

 “What do you want?” I asked. 

 “My subordinates left alone, for one. They had as little control over their actions as I did,” Pheniks said. “I also want you to make me House Zan’s shukusen after Arion’s removed from power. I do not want something like this to happen again, but the only way to make sure it doesn’t is if I’m at the helm. It’s like you said, Zae. I know what’s best for my House. I didn’t believe it before but hearing it from you…” 

 I had not intended for my brother to take this from my encouragement. Holy hell, what was going on? I understood what Pheniks was saying about needing control to prevent another disaster, but even still… why was he, who’d abhorred becoming a First Stratus, asking for a shukusen position? 

 “And I want the names of the operatives who uncovered my project,” Pheniks said. 

 For a split second, I stopped breathing while denial shrieked through me. Damnit. Why was he doing this? 

 “You presume much, grandson,” Talira said. 

 If her voice had been cold before, now it was ice. 

 “Even if I agreed that accepting your demands would be easier than pulling this information out of your head, why should I believe it’s important enough to sacrifice so much for it?” she continued. 

 Crossing his arms, Pheniks said, “It will save you the time and effort needed to learn the information for yourself, time when the person who requested my neurotoxin might develop it on their own. You can’t tell me that’s worth nothing.” 

 Talira’s lips thinned as she glanced my way, and from a faraway place, I had to wonder what this was doing to her, choosing between her grandsons. Because that was what she’d have to do. If she only revealed the names of the operatives who’d first alerted her to this project’s existence, Pheniks would eventually learn that they’d never breached his department. After that, he’d come after Kolb, and as the shukusen he’d be at the time, there was no telling what sort of chaos he could unleash. To stop that, she’d have to tell him who’d actually discovered his neurotoxin: me. 

 “I’ll concede to your first two demands. They benefit Lutov more than harming it,” Talira said, “but I can’t give you my operatives’ names. I can’t burn them like that.” 

 Oh, thank Mother Time. She’d found an excuse that Pheniks might accept, letting his third demand slide. 

 “And I can’t start as Zan’s next shukusen, knowing that the people who endangered my House in this way might still be in it,” he said. “It doesn’t matter how many other operative you might have in place-” 

 His voice faded to fuzz. I looked at my brother, stubbornly insisting that Talira should satisfy his curiosity, and my grandmother, who had to contend with me being her Lokke Vitras, and I knew what she’d do. They’d argue for a while longer, pushing and pulling against one another, but neither of them would budge from positions that were so important to them. Because of that, my grandmother would choose to protect me, and given the situation… given her position of power right now, she’d have to destroy Pheniks to keep my secret safe. I couldn’t let that happen. 

 So once more, I resolved to protect my little brother, no matter what it might do to me. 

 “It was me,” I said. 

 Pheniks choked on a cough, whipping his head to me, and I died a little as he worked his mouth. 

 “I don’t believe you,” he said. “You’re trying to protect her, fall on your sword like a good Lokke-” 

 “My choice for my happiness,” I said before he could finish that hated title. 

 Something that I’d never wanted to see on a loved one flashed across his face, and I barreled forward before I could examine it. 

 “You added that to Zan’s placement exam,” I said. “Feena would be honored to know how much you valued our advice.” 

 Pheniks clicked his teeth together with fire flaring in his eyes. 

 “You were Rylan?” he hissed. “Why, Zae? I know you. You can’t have done this out of loyalty to your House. You’ve never cared about that. So, why-?” 

 “You’re right. I’ve never been loyal to a House,” I said, “but Lutov? Humanity? I am devoted to them, and no matter how much I love you, Phen, I couldn’t let you unleash what you made on the world.” 

 I was going to break. I absorbed Pheniks’ bared teeth, his heaving shoulders, and the hurt in his eyes, and I knew, I knew, that if I stayed here for much longer, I would fly to pieces. 

 Facing Talira, I said, “May I go home, my shukusen?” 

 She wasn’t happy with me either, but I didn’t know if it was because I’d forced her into accepting Pheniks’ terms or because I’d done something to further harm myself. 

 “You may,” she said, “but we need to speak when next you wake, my Lokke Vitras.” 

 “Of course.” 

 On my feet, I bowed to them both and was heading for the door when Pheniks’ laughter stopped me. 

 “You truly are the Lokke Vitras,” he said with acid on his tongue. “Nothing more or less. An embodiment, just like me.” 

 Hunching my shoulders, I took a few, slow breaths before leaving the kitchen with Pheniks and Talira talking behind me. The journey to my apartment went by in a blur, one that didn’t relent when I arrived, and once I was inside, I made myself a whiskey sour, letting it dangle at my side once I was done. 

 With that and a retrieved knife, I found a place that the drones could easily clean and settled in for a long waiting period. One that was filled with a repetitive habit rather than the sleep that I needed.

Addendum
Is… is that why he hated me? Fucking hell, is that why he kept himself so distant over the years? Because of this? 

 Shit. He was right to loathe everything that I was. Mother Time, did I… did I turn my little brother into a monster? 

 [wordless screaming and multiple crashes followed by a long period of silence] 

 I’m sorry, Elliot. You have to understand; I don’t actively remember most of what I’m telling you. My array keeps the memories I should have long forgotten in a folder, one I don’t access much. Not anymore. Over the years, it’s become too painful. 

 For years, I’ve wondered why Phen changed so radically from the boy I grew up with. Why, in later years, did he always oppose me when we were forced to interact with one another? 

 It was my fault. Of course it was. 

 But that means… 

 I’m to blame for Kester. A city full of people, murdered because of something that I did, forever ago. Ha! Look how far the consequences for one choice can ripple. 

 But I can’t think about that or what I did to my brother. I. just. can’t. I won’t let you hear me cry. not again. Not here, where you’re supposed to find some measure of healing. 

 So, let’s move on. Talira’s waiting for a younger version of me, after all.

Chapter 22: You're Sending Me in Again, Aren't You?
When I walked into her office the next day, Talira took one look at me before wincing. 

 “Did you get any sleep?” she asked. 

 “It’s not important,” I sighed. 

 Slinging myself into a chair, I sprawled against one corner of the seat, hooking a knee over its arm while scuffing the other foot on the floor. 

 “Which House am I going deep cover in?” I asked. 

 After running her eyes over me, Talira pinched her lips. 

 “Are you drunk?” she said. 

 “No,” I said before squinting. “Yes? I don’t know. My body’s a little fucked right now, but again, it doesn’t matter. Even like this, I can handle the initial steps of a deep-cover mission, and by the time more is required from me, I’ll be better.” 

 Talira’s entire face was pinched now, but I couldn’t read it. Was that worry or disapproval that she was showing me? Her eyes had gone distant while she played at the air like people did when they were messing with their arrays, and when I got an alert from my apartment’s recorder system, I sat bolt upright, slapping my feet to the ground. She couldn’t see what had happened last night, couldn’t know… 

 But when her eyes cleared and she just looked at me, I knew that she already did. 

 “How much blood did you lose?” Talira calmly asked. 

 Too calmly.  

 “Do I need to send you to our medics downstairs?” 

 “What? No!” I said. “I didn’t lose enough to impair me. Something in me was cognizant enough to keep an eye on that.” 

 “But that’s why you’re not sure if you’re drunk,” Talira said. “You can’t know how your body will react to alcohol, weakened as you’ve made it.” 

 I decided to take the wise course of action and stay silent. Completely blank, Talira watched me, and I fought to keep still, knowing that she was evaluating me. 

 “I’m sending you home,” she said. “You need time with your loved ones-” 

 Shooting to my feet, I slammed my hands on her desk. 

 “I need a mission. I need work, Talira,” I said. “You need to stop protecting me. I know myself. I know this pattern of behavior. I will be fine in a week or so, but in the meantime, I desperately need something to throw myself into, something I know I’m good at. So. Which House am I going deep cover in?” 

 Ok. Now, I could read her. She was pissed at me, if also worried. 

 “I should tell you to remove yourself from my office. Your behavior is unbecoming of the Lokke Vitras,” Talira said, “but since no one is here to see you like this, I’ll just tell you to get your hands off of my desk and sit your ass down.” 

 Mother Time, she was angry. Slowly, I lowered myself into my seat again, locking my gaze with hers the whole way down. She broke our staring contest first, dropping her face into her hands. 

 “How am I supposed to trust you with a deep-cover mission when you pull shit like this?” she asked, waving at me. 

 I kept my mouth shut, realizing that nothing I said could help me, and sighing, Talira slapped her palms onto her desk’s surface. 

 “Cerullis,” she said. “Your target’s in House Cerullis.” 

 The depth of hollowness that her revelation scraped into my heart surprised me. Given that House’s history, should this news have come as such a shock? 

 “Do you think shukusen Sanya knows that someone in her ranks has broken the Concords?” I asked. 

 “Doubtful,” Talira said, “and I wouldn’t blame her for it either. Becoming a head of House is hard enough if you’re prepared for it, and prepared, Sanya was not. Besides, I’ve known that girl for a long time. I seriously doubt that she’s capable of requesting a weapon as horrid as what Zan’s created.” 

 Wait. How did Talira know Sanya? I hadn’t thought their association extended beyond the younger woman’s appointment as a shukusen .  

 Could I ask about that now, though? I’d crossed a lot of lines today, and while I didn’t much care about holding to decorum, Leski’s words from before I’d left home rang in my head. 

 “All right. Cerullis,” I said. “Is Rylan still viable as a persona, or should I visit alterations again?” 

 Talira’s face soured, almost as if she’d wanted me to question her. 

 “No, he remains intact, but you’ll have to doctor his record a bit,” she said. “Also, this mission shouldn’t be as immersive as the last one. You can break deep cover when you go home every night, which is good for you. After today’s display, I’ll require an in-depth report of your activities every day.” 

 “All as I expected,” I said. “Is there anything else, shukusen, or may I start prepping for this mission?” 

 Talira stared at me for long enough that I shifted in place. Had I said something wrong? 

 “You don’t want to know how things resolved with Pheniks after you left?” she asked. 

 Wincing, I glanced to the side. I’d rather avoid anything to do with my brother until the emotional dust-up from our last parting had settled. I didn’t want a repeat of what I’d recently left in my apartment. Even still, a question was dragged from me, much like my gaze was to my grandmother. 

 “Is he ok?” 

 Making a face, Talira said, “Physically, yes. Until we deal with Arion, he’ll stay in one of the apartments meant for Kolb’s unplaced members. I’m sure you remember those well enough. You made such a mess of one forever ago, after all.” 

 With my breath catching, I fought to keep my eyes on Talira. I’d rather not relive memories of Fyester and subsequently, Jayla on top of everything else. 

 “You might want to avoid him for a while,” Talira continued. “He’s pissed at you.” 

 “Which is about what I expected,” I said, drooping. “Still. Thank you for letting me know he’s safe.” 

 “Of course. It’s the least I can do,” Talira said. “Do you need anything from me before you go under, Zae-zae?” 

 I shrugged. 

 “Just the usual. Keep my family appraised of my status as much as you can and…” 

 Pausing, I sucked on my teeth. 

 “This might seem strange, but Fourth Stratus Elrin’s missing persons mission continues to weigh on me,” I said. “Can you make sure he gets into the Preserve, please?” 

 Talira seemed taken aback by such an unusual request, but she nodded. 

 “That’ll be easy enough,” she said. “I’ll let you know how it goes.” 

 “Thank you,” I said. “If there’s nothing else, I’d like to get started.” 

 “I wish you luck,” Talira said, “and Zae-zae?” 

 She reached across her desk, waiting until I touched her hand before continuing. 

 “When this is over, you’re getting a month to yourself, and don’t you fucking dare argue with me about that. I got a message from Korix this morning, expressing concern for you, and he rarely talks to me anymore. Please, grandson. Give yourself time to heal before barreling into another crisis.” 

 Raising an eyebrow, I said, “Once this one’s over?” 

 Talira slumped. 

 “Once this one’s over,” she repeated. 

 “Thanks in advance, then,” I said. “I’m leaving now.” 

 As I rose from my chair, I pointedly did not think about how Korix had told on me. I also chose not to see the concerned look on Talira’s face before I left her office. 

 So. Cerullis again. Had the person who’d requested this neurotoxin from Zan not learned from the Ancients Crisis? It had only been a hundred years. I’d think the House’s members were still reeling from something that had nearly torn it apart, but perhaps my target was new to Cerullis. Perhaps they hadn’t felt the hysteria that came from nearly losing the central-most pillar in most Lutovish’s lives. 

 Speculation occupied me on the journey to my apartment, although a few odd glances along the way dragged me free of it. They had me reversing the changes that I’d made to my body in the last few days. 

 It wasn’t a long trip. Unlike Korix, I didn’t feel the need to distance myself from Kolb’s headquarters. Almost as soon as the city proper surrounded me, I turned onto a walkway that bordered the main street, wandering through crowded towers until I reached a courtyard, resting between them. Mirrors, hanging from the bordering towers, bounced sunlight to this lowest level so that minimal plant life could grow here, producing enough green to break up the city’s steel and glass theme. Concrete gave way to patterned cobblestone, and a stone bench sat between two, scraggly tress. A single door, my home hidden away in the city, opened onto this. 

 On stepping inside, a guest would find a lift to the left, one that rose at the highest of speeds to the top of this building. The apartment’s hangar filled one of its topmost floors, making my residence one that was separated by a tower’s length. 

 Every so often, I adjusted the lift’s destination to somewhere on the middle tiers. I might not live among them anymore, but I liked maintaining the relationships that I’d developed with the low Strata as the Lokke Vitras to come. They knew what I was now, which made things difficult at times, but mostly, they seemed appreciative of the fact that I checked on them.  

 What did I know, though? The happy faces that they presented might only be shown to appease me. 

 When I stepped inside my home today, I didn’t pay much attention to the lift or the decorations around me. Catching the suppression grenade that an opening door had dropped, I frowned at it. The knot, attached to its pin, had been retied, but it wasn’t one I’d seen Korix or Leski use before. Was a stranger in my home? 

 I reset the trap, and as I slunk into my apartment, my rifle filled my hand. Why would someone infiltrate my home? Cracking the security processes that protected this place would take dedication. I didn’t think I’d antagonized anyone that badly before. 

 Maybe Niklaus? 

 I shook my head. He was too much of a coward to challenge me or my family. 

 It could be Nyco. Twice, I’d disrupted his life in a significant way. If he hadn’t gotten caught up in Kolb’s recent raid, he might have decided to attack me, no matter how compassionate the man had always seemed. 

 It didn’t matter. Instead of dwelling on who might be here, I locked the question of the intruder’s identity away. I had a possible hostile in my home, which meant I needed to focus. 

 I glided through the apartment — kitchen, sitting room, Korix’s study, Leski’s studio, a public washroom — only pausing at the last of those. Drones were still scraping dried blood off of the floor there, and I watched them for far longer than I should have before moving on. 

 After checking a few more rooms, I came to the last one, my bedroom, and held my breath. When asked, my array showed me one heat signature inside, waiting in a corner, and raising my rifle toward it, I slipped through the door. 

 Before I could start demanding answers from the intruder, a lamp in the corner brightened, revealing a woman in an armchair. With one leg bobbing on her knee, she regarded me with the gravest of expressions. 

 “Lokke Vitras Zaeden,” Feena said. “We need to talk.”

Chapter 23: My Sister Is Special
With my lung’s contents bursting from me, I lowered my rifle. 

 “Damnit, Feena, you can’t do that,” I said. “I almost shot you.” 

 My sister just grinned at me with a mischievous glint in her eyes. 

 “No, you didn’t. Your finger wasn’t even on the trigger,” she said. “Poor form if you know an enemy has invaded your home.” 

 Raising an eyebrow, I said, “Are you really going to criticize me about something like that? And why are you here? What’s with the drama?” 

 “The ‘drama’—” 

 Feena made air quotes. 

 “—is for fun. Come on, Zae. You haven’t once wanted to recreate this classic thriller scene before? It comes up in holodramas often enough.” 

 I blinked at her, a slow shuttering of my lids over my eyes. 

 “No, I haven’t,” I said. “I prefer more efficient means of intimidation.” 

 Throwing her head back, Feena groaned. 

 “Of course you do.” 

 A drone floated into the room with a requested whiskey sour in tow. I’d been drinking a lot of these lately. Maybe I should slow down, keep myself from acquiring too much of a taste for them. Not yet, though. 

 Accepting the glass, I said, “And you’re here because…?” 

 “I’m offering my help with this deep-cover mission of yours,” Feena said before shrugging, “if you want it.” 

 I could swear I’d been gut-punched, sick to the heart of me, and my eye twitched. 

 “Did Talira send you?” I asked. “I’m not so bad off that I need a babysitter.” 

 Also, how had she found out about my mission and gotten here in such a short time? 

 With her face furrowing, Feena said, “Why would you need someone watching you?” 

 “I don’t.” 

 Spinning, I marched out of the room. If my sister insisted on staying here, I’d rather not speak with her in my bedroom, not with its mass of stuffed animals on Leski’s side of the bed or Korix’s stark neatness on the other. I didn’t need a reminder that I still had to tell them about this mission. 

 Feena followed me, but she stopped when we passed the washroom. 

 “Zae, what’s this?” she asked. “Was there a fight here? In your home?” 

 Glancing inside, I noted that the drones had almost finished cleaning up. 

 “No,” I said. 

 With nothing more, I moved on, taking us outside, but when I sat on the courtyard’s bench, Feena stayed on her feet. 

 “Why was there dried blood on your washroom’s floor, little brother?” she asked. 

 “I don’t want to talk about it, although…” 

 Pausing, I examined Feena’s tensed shoulders and pinched eyes. Was this anxiety solely for me or…? 

 “Have you heard about our brother yet?” I asked. 

 Feena’s face soured. 

 “Yes, I’ve heard,” she said, biting off the words. “That little shit got off easy. He should worship the ground Talira walks on for the next few decades, considering how far in Stratus he should have regressed.” 

 She thought he only deserved a regression in Stratus? Did she not know what Pheniks had done? 

 “Feena, if Talira hadn’t stepped in, Phen would have been exiled,” I said. 

 When Feena’s face drained of color, I jumped to my feet so I could help her flop onto the bench. 

 “Hell,” she said. 

 Nodding, I hugged myself. 

 “He broke the Concords,” I said. 

 “Hell,” Feena repeated. 

 Thank all that might be holy that she didn’t question how I knew that. 

 “I always knew he’d get in trouble like this one day,” she faintly said. “Just… not so soon.” 

 I didn’t reply, letting her process. While she did, I kept my mind blank, refusing to revisit a set of cutting words that I’d never forget. 

 “We can’t do anything for him now,” Feena eventually said. 

 She shook herself. 

 “Talira didn’t send me. In fact, I’m not on a mission at the moment, taking some time for myself instead,” she continued, “or that’s what I told my fellow Second Strata, at least.” 

 If she hadn’t learned about this mission from Talira, then who’d told her about it? 

 “Mother Time, Feena. Requesting time for yourself like that will have cost you a lot,” I said. “Why use it to offer me help?” 

 Pursing her lips, Feena turned to me before taking my hands. 

 “Because you’ll need it,” she said. 

 I giggled, although her serious demeanor raised goosebumps on my arms. 

 “Why would you think that?” I asked. 

 “Because…” 

 Going distant, Feena chewed on her lip for a moment before sighing. 

 “Because it’s what I was told,” she said. 

 With my reflexes activating, I jerked my hands to my chest, but I stopped myself from attacking a possible threat, waiting for the explanation that Feena knew I’d need. 

 “Do you remember the Founder’s Day ball before you and Korix went public with your relationship?” she asked. 

 “Of course I do,” I said. “The Ancients Crisis started soon after that.” 

 Blowing out a breath, Feena nodded. 

 “Do you remember how I said something that should have had Ko grilling me for further clarification, but he didn’t?” she asked. 

 It had been years since I’d thought about that but… 

 “Yes. You called him the precursor to the protector, and he just… let it go. I thought it was strange at the time,” I said. “When neither of you deigned to explain it after I became the Lokke Vitras, I thought it best not to unearth the mystery. Does it have something to do with your ‘being told’ to help me?” 

 “It has everything to do with that,” Feena said, “and I’ll explain it all but first…” 

 She examined me for long enough that I shifted in place, but then, she dropped to the ground at my feet. 

 “You’ll have a kid soon, right?” she said. “And children demand stories from their parents at one point or another. Knowing you, you’ve probably thought about this, which has subsequently led to you freaking out about it even if you won’t show it. Why don’t you practice on me?” 

 Frowning, I wondered how this change in subject related to what Feena had been sharing. I knew it had to, otherwise she wouldn’t have diverted like this, but I didn’t see the connection. Even still, I’d play along. What harm could it do? 

 “All right,” I said. “What story am I telling?” 

 A stupid amount of energy infected Feena as she plunged her fists between her crossed legs. 

 “I want to hear the legend of the five saviors,” she chirped, every bit a child. 

 I narrowed my eyes at her. Hadn’t she brought this tale up at my party a month ago? 

 Bouncing in place, my sister started clapping her hands in front of her face. 

 “Sto-ry, sto-ry, sto-” 

 “Ok!” I said. “Impatient much?” 

 Grinning, Feena said, “Most children are.” 

 Goody… 

 Pulling the tale from memory took me a moment. Having my array retrieve a copy of it probably would have been faster, but then, it wouldn’t have been my legend of the five saviors, the one our teachers had told me and my siblings while growing up. Once I was ready, I leaned on my elbows and started. 

 “In another world, an evil empire ruled over five nations that weren’t theirs. The empire’s citizens did wicked things to the people who lived in the five nations. They did this for so long that the people of the five nations lost all hope of finding freedom again. 

 “Into this time, five people were born, one to match each nation. For years, they fought the evil empire, eventually pushing their enemy out of their home. To do this, they used the skills they would be named for. 

 “The negotiator charmed the empire with her honeyed words. The spymistress revealed the empire’s secrets for the world to see. The inventor used the empire’s own tech against it. The warmaster fooled the empire on the battlefield, and the legislator cleaned up after his friends, returning the five nations to order. 

 “After the empire left the five nations, the saviors—as their followers began calling them—and the empire’s agents continued fighting for so long that people forgot why they’d started in the first place, but even still, the two sides struggled, each to win out over the other. 

 “In the midst of this, a threat arose, one that would destroy not just the nations and the empire but the world itself. Fear of this threat drove the two enemies together, but even working as one, they could do nothing to stop it, and all seemed lost.” 

 I paused, a little unnerved by the rapt attention that Feena was showering on me. Her eyes were shimmering, and she was leaning toward me as if eager for my next words. Why was she getting so worked up about this story? During lesson rotations, we must have heard it a thousand times or more. 

 “What happened next?” she asked. 

 Licking my lips, I continued. 

 “During this time of darkness, a hero was born: Mother Time’s most blessed. With the help of the five saviors and the empire’s tech, he used his magic to defeat the threat for a time, delaying it until those left behind could create their own salvation. 

 “And thus, dear children, we learn that we must always look beyond our current problems and to the future…” 

 With a frown, I narrowed my eyes. 

 “Then, there’s something about relying on others as needed while also using your own strength. I think. I usually stopped listening when the storyteller got to the morals part of the tale.” 

 Laughing, Feena said, “That sounds about right for you.” 

 After wiping her eyes, she climbed onto the seat beside mine before patting my back. 

 “You’re not bad at that.” 

 “High praise indeed,” I said, keeping my lips from twitching. “Have any pointers for me, or will you tell me what that was about? Why’d you have me tell that particular story?” 

 Feena opened her mouth before looking away. I wondered if I’d have to poke her to get an answer, but eventually, she forced the words out. 

 “It’s not a story,” she said. “It’s a possible timeline, one whose events have been shared so often that they’ve become a legend.” 

 I could feel my head cocking, but I couldn’t stop myself from doing it. Possible… timeline? 

 “What does theoretical quantum mechanics have to do with anything?” I asked. 

 “I’ll get to that in a second,” Feena said. “We have one more diversion to make before I do.” 

 Sighing through my nose, I lifted my face skyward, shaking it. 

 “Well? Get on with it,” I said. 

 “As you say, most vaunted one.” 

 Snapping my head down, I glared at Feena, but she merely grinned at me before continuing. 

 “So, you know how after an mage hunt, Talira sometimes has you hand the mage over to an ii hunter rather than a House Zan kalasa?” she asked. 

 “Yes…” I drawled. “It’s usually done with the more dangerous ones.” 

 “Indeed. Nice observational skills,” Feena said, nodding. “Well, once you’ve gone on your merry way, we ii hunters take those powerful mages to a facility hidden in the Eastern Region.” 

 I went stiff while voices from the past whispered in my head. 

 ‘Our friends from the Eastern Reaches told me about you.’ 

 ‘You’ve made a trip to the southernmost point of the Eastern Reach3es.” 

 All said in reference to the mystery that Feena had first brought up. I- I might see the connection between these disjointed subjects, and considering it made me a little sick to my stomach. 

 “Are we hoarding mages?” I asked, rather than voice my suspicions. 

 Wrinkling her nose, Feena said, “No. I never said the facility was run by Kolb.” 

 “Who, then?” I asked. 

 I couldn’t see Talira putting powerful weapons like iisen into the hands of any House besides Zan, and that exception was only allowed because Zan was in charge of Ostiu and all the mages born there. 

 “A group unassociated with Lutov’s Houses,” Feena said. 

 When I bristled with a sharp inhale, she lifted a hand. 

 “I know. From that description alone, your heart’s probably racing with every sense heightened because it’s something you’ve always wanted. Am I right?” 

 Feena had no idea. She was right, although I wasn’t sure how she knew about that. I’d never told her about my lifelong goal. What she was describing did sound like a wet dream for my younger self, and because of that, my mouth had gone dry with such yearning in me. 

 But mixed with it was something so bitter that I was having trouble swallowing the sob stuck in my throat. I nodded anyway. 

 “It’s not what you think, Zae,” Feena said. 

 She dropped her gaze to her hands in her lap. 

 “Trust me. It’s not.” 

 “So, explain it,” I hissed through my teeth. 

 She glanced up at me, rubbing her thumbs together. 

 “A long time ago, the facility was operated by House Kolb,” she said. “Keeping dangerous mages away from the populace falls under the peacekeepers’ purview and killing a mage when it could still be useful seems stupid, right? That was how we justified it to the other Houses, at least. 

 “Anyway, several centuries ago, a girl ii just… showed up in the facility. After a bit of shock, she was taken into custody, and while testing her abilities, the Kolb members there learned that she had a type of magic we’d never seen before, one that hasn’t been encountered since.” 

 Stopping, Feena watched me with hooded eyes, as if she already knew the conclusions I was drawing. 

 Swallowing hard, I said, “Time manipulation.” 

 Feena gravely nodded, and I shouted at the screaming voice of fear in my head to hush. 

 Forcing words out of my mouth, I said, “Are you pulling a prank on me? This isn’t payback for…” 

 I trailed off because Feena had been speaking at the same time as me, mirroring my every inflection and cadence. How could she-? She was actually serious? 

 “Don’t think about it too hard, Zae. If you do, it’ll mess with your head, and we can’t have that,” she said. “All you need to know is that learning about this mage’s ability caused the formation of the group that I was telling you about. Their purpose is to ensure that we stay on the correct timeline.” 

 Well, my head was absolutely spinning now, but Feena was looking at me with such searching eyes, begging me to understand. 

 “Ok, I can… I can focus on the group and not their origin,” I said. “What does it have to do with you?” 

 Wincing, Feena said, “I’m one of them, have been for years.” 

 Mother Time, I really would be sick. It was like my sister was intent on punching me in the stomach with her revelations. 

 “Oh! And we’re called the Chosen,” she continued. 

 That wasn’t an ominous name at all. Squeezing my eyes closed, I rubbed my forehead. 

 “They want you to help me?” I asked. “Why?” 

 “No clue!” Feena chirped. “Honestly, Zae, I just do as I’m told. If I don’t, I know the consequences, and I won’t be the one who brings that on the world.” 

 Peering at her from beneath my hand, I said, “Consequences?” 

 She shook her head. 

 “I can’t tell you but trust me. It’s not something you’d want to know about,” she said, “and if you’re concerned about me withholding information from you, feel free to verify with Ko or our grandmother that it won’t harm Lutov, although you should refer to me as ‘a Chosen’ when it comes to Talira. She doesn’t know I’m one of them.” 

 “I’ll… do that,” I said. 

 All of this—the Chosen, time manipulation, the five saviors being real—had me a little numb, leaving my brain working too hard to process new information. I needed space. 

 “Why don’t you…?” I started before rubbing my eyes. “If you’re going deep cover with me, do you have a persona prepared?” 

 “I need to establish my base in House Cerullis but yes,” Feena said. “I’ll be ready to go by this evening.” 

 “You should get started on that, then,” I said. “Go inside. I’ll join you in a moment.” 

 “All right.” 

 Biting her lip, Feena looked like she wanted to say something else, but silently, she got to her feet and wandered into the apartment. I couldn’t do much more than stare at my hands for a time, unsure what to make of my sister’s claims, so outlandish and unbelievable, but at least they’d distracted me from Pheniks. 

 Hell. When had my siblings become sources of contention in my life? I could swear there’d been a time, not long ago, when they’d been my support, my strength when Korix or Leski couldn’t be, but no matter how short of a time had passed since then, it felt like those circumstances lay in the far distant past. 

 It didn’t matter. Like I’d told my grandmother, I needed to throw myself into my work. I couldn’t focus on the oddities and stressors in my world. 

Chapter 24: Goodbye Again
Unfortunately, I had one more stressor to handle before I could get started on this mission. 

 Leski and Korix answered my requests for connection almost immediately, like they’d been waiting for them. 

 “Love! Are you ok?” Leski asked. 

 Korix said nothing. 

 “I’m not hurt,” I said. 

 “Well.” 

 Leski heaved a relieved sigh. 

 “That’s fantastic,” she said. “Isn’t that right, Ko?” 

 “Yes…” Korix drawled. “Fantastic.” 

 Damnit, should I add his displeasure to the growing list of things going wrong in my life? 

 This series of events had started giving of the same feel as what I’d experienced during the Crescent Incident, decades ago, but I couldn’t let thoughts like that overtake me. Mother Time say that I’d learned enough since then to ensure this wouldn’t end so poorly. 

 “When can we expect you home?” Leski asked. 

 Rubbing my face, I said, “I don’t know. I’m going deep cover again. Apparently, we haven’t found the root of Lutov’s recent problems.” 

 I braced for their wave of indignation but got silence instead. That wasn’t a good sign. 

 “I see,” Leski said. 

 After another tense pause, I said, “I’m sorry. I want to come home-” 

 “It’s fine,” Leski interrupted. 

 Hell, she’d sounded like she was holding words back. I wished she’d just say them. 

 “Ko and I will continue making preparations on our end,” she said instead. “Good luck on your mission, Zae. I’d love to stay and talk more but-” 

 “Leski. It’s ok,” I said. “You’re allowed to be angry.” 

 “And I AM!” 

 Her shout rang in my head, and hearing it, I squeezed my eyes closed, pushing back the moisture that was trying to escape from me. In the last two months, I’d been a terrible partner to them both but mostly to her. My outrage when I’d learned about Niklaus’ outburst at our party had left her to deal with Korix alone. After putting my brother’s fate in Talira’s hands, my inability to keep my shit together had caused far too much distress for her. For them both. 

 “But not at you,” Leski soon continued. “I’m upset that life has chosen to batter us in this way, not that your job is taking you away from us again. I love you, Zaeden. You are one of the two people I cannot live without, and you’re my husband. You’ll have to do something a hell of a lot worse to get me mad at you.” 

 Despite myself, despite how much I didn’t deserve her faith in me, I smiled. 

 “I love you too, wife,” I said. 

 “Don’t. you. dare. You know I don’t like you calling me that. Mother Time, you can be an ass sometimes,” Leski hissed. “I need to go. Talira’s given me busy work to complete, probably trying to distract me from you.” 

 “Probably,” I said. “I’ll see you soon, love.” 

 “One can only hope,” Leski said. 

 She cut her connection, and I was left with a partner who’d been notably silent throughout that conversation. 

 “Ko?” I cautiously said. 

 “What are you doing, Zaeden?” was what I got in response. 

 Oo. Yeah, he was upset. 

 “You’ll need to be a bit more specific for me,” I said. 

 Laughter, manic on the edges, tumbled to me, and the first prickles of unease pushed into my consciousness. 

 “Are you trying to kill yourself?” Korix shouted. 

 I rocked back on the bench, so unexpected was this. Korix hardly ever raised his voice, even a century after the role of the Lokke Vitras had kept him from doing it. 

 “Or maybe you’re simply that determined to follow in my footsteps,” he continued. “Do you know when I first started seeing things, kuvesk? Hmm? It came shortly after my version of what you’re experiencing. I refused to take a break, threw myself into my work, and broke as a result, and look at you! You nearly drained yourself of what you need to live, and not twelve hours after that, you took another stressor to the capital, there to almost bleed yourself dry again . The way you’re acting right now, I’d be surprised if you last another decade as the Lokke Vitras, not the centuries that Lutov may yet require.” 

 Once he’d fallen silent, I didn’t reply for a moment, waiting for my eye to stop twitching. 

 When it had, I said, “I am not your student anymore, Korix. I have learned every lesson that you can give me, including everything that can be understood from your example. I know what I’m doing, and you need to trust me.” 

 A minute passed with my heart beating to the time of the seconds between. 

 “I do. I trust you more than anyone else,” Korix ground out. “I shouldn’t have exploded on you. It’s just… Talira sent me copies of last night’s feeds, and you have no idea how much pressure built in my chest while I was watching them. I couldn’t breathe, Zae.” 

 I held my hands over my face, making my voice emerge muffled. 

 “I can’t imagine what that was like. I’m sorry you saw those, Ko.” 

 After a beat of silence, Korix said, “Regret has no place in you, Zae.” 

 And I groaned, slapping my thighs. 

 “Really? Must you say things like that?” 

 “Always and forevermore,” Korix said. “How else am I supposed to get a rise out of you?” 

 Flushing, I said, “Excuse me. Isn’t being the irritating tease my role in this relationship?” 

 While he chuckled, I ignored what this exchange had really been. There was a problem here, one we needed to address, but it couldn’t be now, when I was forever away from him and about to start a mission, so instead, we covered it up with jokes and teasing. 

 I wasn’t worried about it, though, knowing Korix would bring the problem up after I’d come home. Brushing issues like this under the rug for years wasn’t our style, not anymore. 

 “You’re right, of course,” Korix said, laughing under his breath. “You know that I can never love you, right?” 

 Our old habit warmed me, sending a slow seep of blood to my every extremity. 

 “I know. Just as much as I can never love you,” I said. “You are the best and worst thing that’s ever happened to me.” 

 “Don’t I know it,” Korix said. 

 But I’d heard the strain in his voice. I wondered if he’d heard the same from me. 

 “I have a question before I go deep cover,” I said. “It involves a group called the Chosen.” 

 “Ah.” 

 And nothing more. 

 “So, you know them?” I asked. 

 “I do. Unfortunately,” Korix said. “Your sister finally got around to telling you?” 

 “She did. Ko?” 

 “Yes?” 

 I didn’t know how to phrase this question, so I asked it without any padding to soften its blow. 

 “Why didn’t you tell me? And… can I trust Feena?” 

 Could I trust my sister when my brother had just betrayed Lutov, no matter how unwillingly? 

 “I didn’t tell you because it wasn’t my secret to share,” Korix said. “I wanted Feena to explain everything in her own time.” 

 “That’s… fair,” I said. 

 Unfavorable, but fair. 

 “As for trustworthiness, I’ve learned two things over my time working with the Chosen,” Korix said. “One is that everything they do is for the good of humanity and therefore, Lutov. You can put your faith in them.” 

 On hearing his confidence, a kernel of anxiety loosened in me. My sister wasn’t working to undermine what I did, not in this at least. 

 “And what’s the second thing?” I asked. 

 Korix said nothing for the longest time, and something insidiously apprehensive crawled up my spine, rattling my bones as a result. Eventually, he answered me. 

 “Every Chosen I’ve known had died before their time. Horribly.”

Chapter 25: Establishing a Foothold
Ahead of me, Third Stratus Laylah glided down the hall, drawing stares as she talked in an almost deafening manner. What those rude people didn’t realize was that she was speaking that loudly for my benefit. 

 Me, her bumbling buffoon of an assistant who’d always had a hard time with walking while taking notes. I missed another couple of words as I tripped over my own feet, wondering once more why Mother Time had cursed me. 

 Laylah stopped short, almost making me bowl her over, before glancing down both sides of the intersection we’d reached. 

 “Rylan, dear, are you sure about those directions the receptionist gave you?” she said with a distracted air about her. 

 I gulped. Retaining information was another of my weak spots. Who’d decided I’d make a good assistant again? 

 “I’m not sure, Third Stratus,” I said. “Let me pull the memory-” 

 “No, no. This is good!” Laylah said. “We can use it to meet our associates in the capital! Won’t that be nice?” 

 No. If Laylah went near other people, they’d eventually notice me, and it wouldn’t be long afterward before I did something to embarrass her. I didn’t want that. 

 Still, I sighed and said, “As you say, Third Stratus.” 

 Rounding on me, Laylah put a ridiculous pout on her face with her hands on her hips. 

 “How many times do I have to tell you to call me Laylah?” she asked. 

 I’d almost worked up the courage to do as she’d asked a few days ago, when we’d received the summons to headquarters. Leaving our outpost, deep in the Barasgami Mountains, had reset me to the first week after I’d been assigned as Laylah’s assistant but worse because now, I was worried that I’d ruin more than my reputation alone. 

 There were also a lot more people here. 

 “Maybe another couple dozen?” I said with a weak smile. 

 Bursting into laughter, Laylah clasped my shoulders, leaning on me, and I forced myself to keep my eyes on the ceiling. Eyes up! 

 “You’re so funny, Rylan!” Laylah gasped. 

 “I’m glad you think so,” I said. 

 All the while, I triggered the process that I’d written a while ago, one that stopped me from blushing. I’d had to use it a lot over the last few months. 

 “Didn’t you say that you wanted to meet new people?” I continued. 

 As the last word fell from my tongue, I bit it. Hard. What the hell had I been thinking? 

 “Yes, of course!” 

 Shooting upright, Laylah dragged me toward the closest clump of people. 

 I was still amazed that she was holding my hand like this. She’d started doing it this morning, as if the stress of being here had made her grab for the closest source of comfort, or at least, that was what I assumed. I was glad it had been me. 

 “Excuse me!” Laylah called as she stopped beside the group. “I’m Third Stratus Laylah, and this is Fourth Stratus Rylan. We’re new here and have lost our way. Could you tell us how to reach Aeronautics?” 

 Too many eyes landed on me at once, and a familiar surge of crawling fingers—long forgotten—climbed inside my skin. Fortunately, the strangers quickly focused on Laylah, sparing us a side effect of my worst failing. 

 “Welcome to Xygek. I hope you’ve enjoyed your time here so far,” a man in a lab coat said. 

 He smiled at Laylah with far too perfect teeth. 

 “I’m Fifth Stratus Harvel. A pleasure to meet you.” 

 When he bowed, I clenched my jaw, even if the man’s hand hadn’t gone to his neck. What was he thinking? Was he intimating that he was interested in giving Laylah his Favor? They’d just met! 

 “The same!” 

 Laylah looked pleased, which only made it worse. Did she want to encourage him with this cheerfulness? If not, I wished I could politely tell her what she was doing. She’d always been oblivious when it came to social interactions, especially of this sort. 

 Rising from his bow, Harvel flashed another smile. 

 “Aeronautics is fourteen floors up and on the other side of the building,” he said. “I’m surprised your… assistant? I’m surprised he couldn’t get you there. Headquarters’ layout is fairly simplistic. Even a bakava could navigate it.” 

 He met my eyes, and all I could do was blink as ice water washed down my spine. All the while, my body fought it, trying to bristle. The contradictory sensations started a war in me, so it came as a relief when Laylah spoke, drawing Harvel’s attention back to her. 

 “Then, I should be glad that Rylan got us lost,” she said. “I’d hate to have an assistant with the base intellect you’re suggesting, although it’s strange that you’d believe a child of Ibis is so mentally stunted. After all, was not Ashley one of their number? And she introduced us to the bloodsong and the concept of Mother Time, even if that was done with Jared’s help.” 

 Oh, hell. She was about to get started on a lecture about the events that had led to the Upheaval. That wasn’t a good subject to discuss in current times if one didn’t want to be ostracized. 

 “Third Stratus?” I interrupted. “Forgive me, but they’re expecting you upstairs.” 

 “Wha-?” 

 Laylah blinked at me for a moment before focusing. 

 “Yes. Yes! Thank you, Rylan,” she said. “And thank you for the directions, Harvel. It was nice to meet… at least one of you. If you’ll excuse me.” 

 She’d rattled off her farewell like each sentence had been a line in a bulleted checklist, leaving the people in front of her speechless, but as always, Laylah didn’t care. Within thirty seconds, I was scrambling to keep up with her again. At least she wasn’t distracting me with notes this time. 

 “That went well, I think,” she said with a giggle. 

 Still moving, she turned to me, and delight dropped off of her face. Immediately, her pace slowed down. 

 “I’m sorry. I forgot that you don’t like being around so many people,” she said. “Doing process work in the isolation we had back home didn’t help with that, did it?” 

 Again, I used my process to keep from blushing. I should start keeping track of how many times I did that a day. 

 “It’s fine,” I distractedly said, creating a file. “I’ll get used to the crowds soon enough, and my clumsiness was slowing me down more than anything else.” 

 Freezing, I increased the number in my new file by one. 

 “Aw, but your clumsiness is what makes you cute,” Laylah said. 

 Ruffling my hair, she continued toward the lifts, leaving me with a pit in my stomach. Cute. She thought I was cute. Swallowing the lump in my throat, I took off after Laylah, reaching her as she set a floor into the lift’s control. 

 “See you soon!” she chirped before backing into the lift. 

 I eyed the hole in the floor, only made non-lethal by an invisible force. Don’t get me wrong. I was well aware that lifts were safe, but that made them no less intimidating. Even so, it was where Laylah had gone, so I let my lungs stutter to a halt, but I stepped into the lift. 

 When we eventually found it, Aeronautics… confused me. I’d expected a hangar or an observatory, but all we found on stepping into the department were waist-heigh counters, dividing the lobby into rows. Random pieces of tech had been scattered across them, some of which were in the middle of assembly, and stools lined both sides. Enormous armchairs and a few tables filled a smaller portion of the room. People occupied all parts of this place, but in that portion, they were waving at the air, as if using their arrays. 

 “Come along, Rylan,” Laylah said. 

 She was already on the other side of the room, having made the crossing while I’d been distracted. As I trotted after her, the people around me stopped what they’d been doing to watch, but no one intercepted my scurry to the far side, thank Mother Time. 

 Once through a second set of doors, we moved through Aeronautics in hops and skips. Laylah stopped to exclaim about the projects that we found inside, not that I could blame her for that. There was some truly fascinating stuff in here: designs that I’d have never thought of trying. Eventually, Laylah squeaked another wordless exclamation before making a turn into the lab beside us. Where we’d be working, I assumed. 

 To my surprise, it was filled with displays and storecases. I’d expected fancy equipment, including holographic representations of what we were studying, but considering what Laylah and I had left in the Barasgami Mountains—our single telescope and pair of storecases—what we’d found here made sense. 

 Most people in the lab weren’t wearing PPE. In fact, they looked like they’d strolled into headquarters from the park outside. Several of them were seated in front of displays, focused on their work, but one was on her feet, leaning on a man’s desk so she could examine his work. When we stepped inside, she glanced up, patting the man’s shoulder. 

 “You must be Third Stratus Laylah,” she said as she approached us. “We’ve been expecting you.” 

 “I’m guessing you’re Janyka,” Laylah said. 

 Thrusting out her hand, she grinned, and on seeing the other woman’s step falter, I winced. Giving Laylah an odd look, Janyka shook her hand before turning on me. 

 “Which makes you the assistant,” she said. “I’m sorry. Your name wasn’t in my report.” 

 Sure, it hadn't been. Still, I broadly smiled, returning the woman’s greeting before Laylah could puff up with indignation. 

 “Quite all right, Second Stratus. I’m sure you’ve been busy,” I said. “My name’s Rylan.” 

 Behind Janyka, Laylah made a face, probably realizing she’d left off the woman’s title when saying hello, but I hardly noticed this. Janyka had yet to take her eyes off of me, which was drawing the attention of the other people in the lab, and I made myself focus on my breathing and not on how badly I needed to squirm. 

 “Forgive me, Second Stratus, but where would you like us?” Laylah said. “Now that we’re here, I’m eager to get started.” 

 When Janyka turned to her, she dragged everyone else’s gazes along as well, and relaxing, I absently rubbed at an arm. 

 “From what I remember, you require silence for your work, yes?” Janyka said. 

 Flicking her eyes to me, Laylah smiled. 

 “That’s right,” she said. “It’s hard to pick patterns out of the background noise of space when someone’s typing right next to you.” 

 Frowning, I narrowed my eyes at her. Since when had that been a requirement for her job? I’d heard her singing along to thrasher music while working before. 

 “All right,” Janyka said. “We have a soundproofed cubicle next door that you can use. Feel free to visit us whenever you want, though. I’m sure Krish—that’s who we report to—will want to see your face every so often.” 

 Stiffening to attention, Laylah said, “Yes, Second Stratus.” 

 This display had everyone blankly staring at her, of course. I doubted they understood what Laylah was doing: poking fun at Janyka by imitating a soldier from ibis. That was fine, though. Soon enough, Laylah relaxed with another bright smile. 

 “May I get myself set up?” she asked. 

 Janyka swept a hand toward the door, and with a chirped ‘thanks’, Laylah skipped through it. As I followed her, I ignored the whispers rising behind us. 

 The cubicle that Janyka had mentioned was almost too cramped for two people to use, but Laylah and I made do. As usual, she gave me a long list of processes that she wanted me to analyze, but before I got started, I cleared my throat, preemptively increasing the number in my newly created file. 

 “I didn’t know that you like quiet in your workspace,” I said. “If I’ve been bothering you with that, please-” 

 “Oh, Rylan, you sweetheart,” Laylah interrupted while throwing an arm around me. “I don’t care about the noise. I just wanted to get away from them.” 

 She squeezed me, which made me glad that I’d already adjusted the number in my file. 

 “They may have ‘asked’ me to come here, and I may be making the best of our situation, but that doesn’t mean I want to be in Xygek.” 

 Releasing me, she returned to her work while I considered what she’d said. If she didn’t want to be here, did that mean she wanted to go home? Did that mean she wanted to be alone again? Alone with me? 

 Getting started on my assigned processes took far longer than it should have, and by the time I’d fallen into the flow of it, only another hour would pass before the workday was over. Even so, I continued on, frowning as I did. 

 Most of these processes were what I’d expect to see from Laylah, what I’d worked with since becoming her assistant, but some were… different. In other circumstances, I could see my work being used to crack security processes and advanced ones at that. 

 But Laylah couldn’t have me doing that. 

 At the end of the day, she and I returned to the lab. There was no sign of our superior, Krish, but we made our farewells to Janyka before leaving headquarters. 

 When planning this trip, Laylah had gotten us quarters in neighboring, temp apartments, which I appreciated. It gave me another few minutes with her every day. She was quiet on our walk home, which was unusual, but I didn’t think anything of it, or I didn’t until we reached our housing’s location. Meeting my eyes, Laylah inclined her head toward her apartment’s door. 

 “Would you like to come in?” she asked. “I could use some company, and there’s a bottle of brandy inside, just waiting for someone to open it.” 

 I was… confused. What was she suggesting? 

 …Why was I questioning it? 

 “All right. Sounds fun,” I said. 

 Flashing a grin at me, Laylah strode into the apartment with me on her heels, and when the door closed, a lock thunked into place. Curious as to why we needed that extra layer of security, I opened my mouth to ask about it, pausing when I saw the absent look in Laylah’s eyes. After a moment, air whooshed out of her, and she rolled her neck before kneading it. 

 “Mother Time, I hate deep-cover work,” she said. 

 …Wha-? 

 An alert popped up, flashing T.R.O.U.B.L.E. into my vision, and squeezing my eyes closed, I turned to the side, fighting to keep my stomach calm. Oh… what the fuck, Rylan? 

 “You ok?” Feena asked. 

 Which only made my stomach dance harder. I lifted a finger toward my sister, taking deep breaths, and when I could, I lowered my hand from my mouth. 

 “We… have a problem,” I gasped. 

 Trudging into the kitchen, I collapsed into a chair, and Feena sat opposite me, holding her face perfectly still. 

 “What’s the issue?” she asked. 

 When I tried to speak, another bout of gagging shut me up, and I had to vigorously wipe my mouth once it was done. 

 “Rylan’s attracted to Laylah,” I managed to say. 

 Shuddering, I scrubbed at my arms while Feena’s mouth dropped open. 

 “Ah,” she squeaked. 

 She couldn’t say anything more for a time, and as she formed a response, I took turns between nervously watching her and scanning the room. 

 Clearing her throat, Feena said, “Are you…?” 

 “No!” I yelped, shooting upright. “No way in hell, Feena. My personas are in no way, shape, or form me. In many ways, they’re completely separate people.” 

 “I see.” 

 While Feena absorbed this, I noticed that my fingers were tapping on the table, and with an internal groan, I quashed my anxiety and self-disgust. How had I let those emotions creep up on me? They weren’t helpful at all, not when I was on a mission like this. 

 “I’ve never heard of a persona complex enough to change who you are, but if anyone could do that, it would be you,” Feena said. “It explains why you were so in-depth when grilling me about my persona last night, at least.” 

 Leaning into my chair, I crossed my legs, folding my hands in my lap. 

 “When it comes to personas, I’ve always been all or nothing,” I said. “You have no idea how many times Ko lectured me about finding a balance between those extremes when I was the Lokke Vitras to come.” 

 Wincing, Feena sucked in a hissing breath. 

 “That must have been fun.” 

 Shrugging one shoulder, I said, “When it came to small things like that, I learned to ignore him. Don’t you dare tell him I said that, though.” 

 My sister burst into laughter, and I struggled to ignore how much her delight pinched my heart, much like I had with other things over the last day. What Korix had told me about the Chosen last night… 

 I wasn’t ignoring it, but I was putting off its consideration until after this mission was over. That task could sit with everything else I’d need to confront during the month Talira had promised me. 

 The fastest way to dispel that shitstorm, though, was to pour my heart and soul into this mission, completing it as quickly as possible. 

 “So obviously, I should keep my distance from Rylan in the future. Besides that, I think today went rather well,” Feena said. “We left our team in a sweet spot. They’ll think we’re strange enough to avoid but mysterious enough to find intriguing. Given that, should we discuss anything else tonight? I’d like to watch a holodrama before bed.” 

 Bed… Mother Time, didn’t that sound good right now? I’d love to lose myself in the oblivion of sleep. 

 But if I relaxed now, I was concerned about what I might do. The last few days’ events might be hovering over me, yes, but that didn’t mean they’d stay there. At any minute, they could start raining down, long before I was ready, and when I thought about that, I felt the cold steel of a blade in my hand. 

 So, I said, “We should talk about how we’ll handle tomorrow.” 

 Hanging her head, Feena sighed before retrieving a bottle of brandy. 

 “All right,” she said, slamming it onto the table. “Hit me.”

Chapter 26: When to Take a Break
“You think that Alan would surrender to those from beyond the stars?” I said, staring at Damari. “Really?” 

 On the other side of my bed, my friend shrugged. 

 “Normally, I’d say no but…” they drawled, “Soefi’s involved this time, and everyone knows that Alan would move mountains to keep her safe. Ya know… he reminds me of you in that regard.” 

 Pointing at me, they giggled when I made a face at them, but besides that, I didn’t respond to what they’d said, too lost in a sudden surge of homesickness. I’d been deep cover in House Cerullis for two weeks now, meaning I sorely missed Korix and Leski. Even with the breaks that I got every night, I hadn’t contacted them, as was our practice, because while they were of enormous help when it came to keeping me stable, they were also gigantic distractions, unlike Damari. 

 Leaning toward me, my friend rested their hand a hairsbreadth from my thigh. 

 “Problem, LV?” they asked. 

 I shook my head. 

 “No. Just missing Leski and Ko a bit.” 

 “Ah,” Damari said, sagely nodding. “They’re good, by the way, or they were when I saw them a few days ago, which reminds me!” 

 They flicked a finger toward me, and a message flashed into my array. 

 “Leski wanted me to give you that,” they said as I opened it. “Apparently, our shukusen has given you permission to attend one of her concerts, so long as you go in disguise.” 

 “That’s kind of Talira,” I said, glancing over the dates in the message. “This is the list of upcoming performances, I take it?” 

 Shrugging, Damari made vague ‘I don’t know’ noises before swaying in place. I kept an eye on them while comparing Leski’s special nights against my schedule, snorting when my friend threw their head back. 

 “Ugh! This waiting is maddening! I don’t know how you do it,” they said. “Watching Favored Alan and the Sanguine is fun and all, but not when there’s a mission to be done.” 

 “Welcome to my life,” I said with a grin. 

 Dramatically groaning, Damari tossed themselves to the side, landing on the bed hard enough to bounce me. They buried their face in a pillow while I chuckled. 

 “Don’t worry. Feena and I will be leaving soon, and you’ll come right after us,” I said. “Think you can wait that long?” 

 Damari turned their head toward me, enough to glare with one eye, while a pillow muffled their answer. I climbed out of bed, taking the three steps needed to enter the apartment’s kitchen, and glanced at my friend over the counter that separated it from the bedroom. 

 “Do you want a snack before we go?” I said. “I don’t know your routine before a mission.” 

 Making a face, Damari got up to lean on the counter. 

 “I’ll have something soon,” they said before turning serious. “Are you sure you want me on this mission, LV? I haven’t done one in ages, and I kinda… stick out.” 

 They glanced at their body, which I pointedly didn’t look at. I’d gotten my look-over when they’d shown up at the apartment, so I knew the truth of their words. I could tell they’d toned down their appearance for this. They’d modified their hair to a drab brown, and their clothes weren’t more brightly colored than the average Lutovish’s, but something about Damari just drew people’s attention, a magnetic personality that would be crippling for an operative.  

 Thank Mother Time they were a pilot. 

 “That doesn’t change the fact that you’re perfect for what I need,” I said. “Plus, you’re the only person I can trust with…” 

 Biting my tongue, I looked away, which made my friend shift. 

 “It’s not a weakness,” they said. “I think it’s amazing that your persona gets as embedded as he does, and I look forward to jarring you out of it.” 

 “Ko would disagree with you,” I said. 

 Clicking their tongue, Damari said, “Well, excuse me, but I believe the last hundred years have proven that the mighty Korix isn’t always right about everything.” 

 With a laugh, I rolled my head toward them. 

 “That’s true,” I said, “but hey! Enough about me. How have you been? I should have asked when you first showed up but-” 

 “You were that excited to see me?” Damari interrupted with a gasp. 

 Rolling my eyes, I faced the refectory, punching in the commands for it to make me a snack. 

 “Sure. So?” 

 “Uhhhmmm… Um, um, um…” Damari said before blowing a strand of hair out of their eyes. “I don’t know what to tell you, LV. Life’s been boring lately.” 

 “So, no problems with partners or family?” I said. “No interesting flights or annoying meetups with friends or other high Strata?” 

 Opening the refectory, I retrieved my snack while digging for a spoon, and taking a first bite, I made a face. That was another thing that I couldn’t wait to have again: a well-stocked kitchen. Meanwhile, Damari had wrinkled their nose at me. 

 “Partners? Meaning romantic entanglements?” they said and when I nodded. “Ew! No, thank you. You can keep that all to yourself. How do you not know that about me?” 

 Leaning my elbows on the counter, I lifted my yogurt in front of my face with a shrug. 

 “I always assumed that romance wasn’t your thing, but I’ve never actually confirmed it,” I said. “I should have done that before now, huh?” 

 “Nah. If I wanted you to avoid the topic, I should have mentioned it before. I was just a little… I don’t know. Scared?” Damari said. “Before they joined the Collective, my parents would get on my case about finding a partner, and while my baby sister, Misah, is supportive, she doesn’t get it. None of them have tried to be hurtful about it, but... yeah. I don’t want that from anyone else.” 

 Sucking on my spoon, I nodded. 

 “Some people can’t understand. I’d tell you I’m sorry, but I’m pretty sure you don’t want to hear it,” I said, which had Damari guffawing. “Your life’s really been a bunch of routine flights since that disastrous party six weeks ago?” 

 With mock severity, Damari said, “I like my routine life, thanks. Dealing with you is about as much excitement as I can take. Not all of us can have as adventurous of a life as you, you know.” 

 Wincing, I pushed myself upright, tossing my waste in the recycler. 

 “Trust me. If I could, I’d take a boring life over this one in a heartbeat,” I said before turning to my friend with a smile. “Will you be ok by yourself for a bit? I’d like to get started.” 

 “Sure!” Damari said. “Maybe I’ll have a snack like you.” 

 “Pick something light if you do,” I said. “See you in a bit.” 

 My friend’s farewell followed me outside, and two steps later, I was knocking on my sister’s door. She answered it near instantly, making me wonder whether she’d been waiting nearby. 

 “I’m guessing you’re ready,” I said, lifting an eyebrow. 

 “You’d guess right,” Feena said. 

 Stepping around me, she took the lead toward House Cerullis’ headquarters, and for a while, we walked in silence. Once we’d reached the park in the middle of Xygek, however, Feena glanced over her shoulder. 

 “You’re sure about this?” she said. 

 Somehow, I kept from rolling my eyes. This again? 

 “Which part?” I asked. “The details of the mission or what Laylah and Rylan’s team is planning to do tonight?” 

 Crossing her arms, Feena slowed down so that she was walking beside me. 

 “Which do you think?” she asked. 

 The second. The issue we’d been offhandedly bickering about since our superior had revealed the first step in our team’s extended project. 

 “I don’t see any harm in letting them continue with their experiment,” I said. “In what way could it negatively impact Lutov?” 

 “Besides the possibility that it becomes a cataclysmic event?” Feena said. 

 Shaking my head, I said, “That’s not likely. I’ve looked over the team’s equations and equipment far too many times. The chances of something going wrong are ridiculously small, although maybe…” 

 Biting my lip, I hugged myself. 

 “Maybe I should have had Phen check my work.” 

 Feena jerked her head forward while her casual stride became a march. With so many weeks having passed since the raid on House Zan, everyone in the family knew what I’d done to Pheniks, and while mom and dad were struggling to play mediator between us, my sister had resolutely stayed out of it. I knew she had an opinion about what had happened, but she refused to discuss it with me, even after I’d asked her to. I didn’t blame her for that, but still, it hurt. 

 When she said nothing for several, awkward minutes, I said, “I should get into persona.” 

 As had become a trend in recent weeks, I was happy to do that. I thought about who I was, and soon enough, I shook my head. Why had I been acting so morose? It was a beautiful day with the setting sun casting a tapestry of colors in the sky, and I was on my way to help with Cerullis’ most notable experiment in decades. 

 If that wasn’t enough, Laylah was at my side. Maybe she was the problem, though. Laylah had been withdrawn in recent days. She hadn’t once been hostile toward me, but she’d been distant, and I wasn’t sure how I’d upset her. 

 I couldn’t let it get to me, though. I had to be supportive of her, no matter what. 

 As soon as we walked into headquarters, my skin started crawling, as usual. That sensation might have diminished since coming to Xygek, but it hadn’t vanished, and I doubted it ever would. 

 Fortunately, Laylah took us to the lifts, refusing to get distracted by the many wonders displayed here, and when we entered Aeronautics, she breezed toward our assigned observatory, ignoring people’s attempts at making small talk. 

 I particularly enjoyed Fifth Stratus Harvel’s look as we passed him. That man had yet to stop showering Laylah with affection, even with her never having reciprocated. 

 In the observatory, someone had already started a projection of our satellite’s feed, and thank Mother Time, a snack table was on the other side of the room. 

 “Would you like a cup of caf?” I asked, pointing at it. 

 “Hmm?” Laylah said. “Oh, yes, Rylan. That would be lovely.” 

 Most of our team had already assembled, which meant I had to skirt my way around them. I listened to several of them grumbling about the late hour, all while chuckling to myself. Back home, Laylah and I used to stay up later than this so we could manually adjust our telescope as needed. 

 Once at the table, I waited for a drone to reheat cups of caf, watching the projected sun as it rotated in the center of the room. For decades, I’d been numbed to the magnificence of that natural wonder, but seeing it blown up here, towering above me, I was reminded of my first years in House Cerullis, still fully enamored with everything we studied. As always, though, it bothered me that what I was observing was about eight minutes behind what was happening in that far-distant place, impinging on my sense of wonder, but then, that was what we were fixing tonight. 

 When I was back at Laylah’s side, I handed off one cup of caf while sipping at mine. She’d surrendered to social pressure, chatting with colleagues. We wouldn’t get started for a while, so I idly listened to Laylah’s’ conversation until something in it caught my interest. 

 “-do you suppose we’re going with this?” said the man in the group. 

 Isolated as Laylah and I had been, I hadn’t learned my teammates’ names yet. I should get on that. 

 Sucking on a lip, the woman beside him said, “I heard this wasn’t Krish’s idea. I heard that the order for this experiment came from shukusen Sanya herself.” 

 Now that, I hadn’t known. 

 “Regardless,” the man said, “why would anyone in Cerullis want to open a wormhole between our world and the sun? It could be dangerous!” 

 “Come now. Both ends of it will be far from those spatial bodies,” Laylah said, “but still, it’s a good question. Maybe shukusen Sanya wants more accurate readings from our satellites? Mother Time knows that being so far behind has been frustrating. Even still, if something goes wrong with our sun, I don’t know what we could do with only eight minutes warning.” 

 I could think of several ways to use it. Saying goodbye to family. Resolving unfinished business. 

 “Confessing your feelings for someone.” 

 I didn’t realize that I’d spoken that last thing aloud until the others stared at me, and a blush started spreading across my face. What the hell had I just said? 

 Fortunately, a commotion soon came to end my misery. From the observatory’s entrance, an exclamation of shock dragged the group’s gazes that way, and when I joined them, I cocked my head. 

 Janyka was standing in the door, blocking an… individual—I thought—from entering, and at first, I wasn’t sure why she was doing that. This experiment wasn’t restricted to anyone in Aeronautics, and the stranger didn’t seem threatening. In fact, they were rather plain in appearance, even if something about them was off. 

 Huh. 

 Curious, I requested their status, and a second later, it popped into my array. The stranger held Third Stratus, which was well and good. Expected, even. When I read what House they were from, though, I sucked in a breath. 

 Kolb. The fuck was any member of House Kolb doing here? 

 Oh, no. Had someone on our team attracted that violent House’s attention, and if they had, why? No one here was young enough to have missed the horror of the last time Kolb and Cerullis had been at odds. 

 Sighing, the stranger crossed their arms. 

 “-to test some new…” they said with their words barely audible. “You requested… pilot.” 

 Janyka hissed something at them, probably berating them for the interruption, before thrusting a finger down the hall, and rolling their eyes, the stranger scanned the room, briefly resting their eyes on me before moving on. 

 “GET OUT!” Janyka shouted. 

 Tensing, the stranger lifted their hands and backed out of the room. When the door had slid shut behind them, Janyka stormed back to the storecase she’d been working on, and across the room, conversations slowly resumed, including the one I’d been part of. 

 I wasn’t paying attention to it, though, because I’d received a message, one who’s sender was… me. What was I to make of this, other than its impossibility? I didn’t remember writing or sending any such message, and besides that, if I had done something so bizarre, I would have sent it the moment before receiving it, which wasn’t possible. I’d have noticed doing something like that. 

 Unless I’d used a proxy. Say I had written this message, however long ago that might have been. I could have given it to a third party so they could send it at a later date, and if left unopened, the proxy would have left such a faint trace on the message that my array wouldn’t have noted their touch. I could dig deeper and find out who they’d been, but that seemed unnecessary, considering their likely identity. Why on earth, though, would I have associated with a member of House Kolb, and why didn’t I remember something as significant as meeting one of them? Was this message even mine? 

 There was only one way to answer those questions. When I opened the message, however, I found only one word waiting for me. 

 T.R.O.U.B.L.E. 

 Taking a slow breath, I barely kept myself from rubbing my eyes and temples. Rylan was learning. If I wasn’t careful, he could take over, at least until Talira sent a Second Stratus to knock me out of it. She’d never had to do that before, but there was always a first. 

 Focusing, I turned to the conversation that Laylah-Feena was participating in, hoping I hadn’t missed my chance but no. They were still talking about Damari. 

 “Why do you suppose they were here?” Second Stratus Aveela said. “Was it to test an aircraft, like they said?” 

 “Possibly. That half of Aeronautics has Kolb’s best pilots do test runs for them sometimes,” Fourth Stratus Tavik said, “but I doubt it. Not only is it late, but I find it highly suspicious that they showed up tonight, of all nights.” 

 Oh, look. Another example of how suspicious the members of Houses other than Kolb were of them, not that they were wrong to feel that way. With this suspicion, though, I had my opening. 

 “Maybe they were here because something’s controlling us again. Maybe that’s why shukusen Sanya’s been so focused on the sun recently,” I said. “It couldn’t be the Ancients, but maybe those from beyond the stars have once more taken an interest in us.” 

 My portion of the observatory went quiet with nearby scientists glaring at me. I started squirming like Rylan would, but I didn’t have to continue with that performance for long. After all, what I’d said was the signal that Feena and I had established before coming here tonight. 

 “Rylan, I forgot! I had another round of processes for you to review before tomorrow morning,” Laylah-Feena said. “If you want to get them done in time, you should get started, don’t you think?” 

 With my array forcing blood into my cheeks, I bowed to her. 

 “Yes, Third Stratus,” I said. 

 As I turned away, Laylah-Feena whispered to the others. 

 “You’ll have to forgive Rylan. He’s very socially awkward…” 

 But then, I was out of hearing range. I made my way to the door with jerky steps, casting a last look at the projected sun. It was too bad. I’d have loved to watch the creation of Lutov’s first artificial wormhole. 

 The door closed, cutting off my view, and relaxing, I finished shaking Rylan off while heading for the rendezvous point.

Chapter 27: Initial Investigation
When I entered Laylah-Feena and Rylan’s private cubicle, Damari was doing a good job of maintaining a calm demeanor. Well. A good job for them. They were tapping their fingers on their bouncing knee, but that was their only concession to their persistent restlessness. 

 Jumping to their feet, they said, “So, it worked?” 

 I gave them an odd look. 

 “What worked?” I said. “I’m sorry. Who are you, and what are you doing in my workspace?” 

 With their mouth dropping open, Damari tensed, flicking their eyes over the cubicle. 

 “I’m… um… I… got… lost?” they said, rubbing the back of their neck. “I thought-” 

 Oh, this was painful and hilarious to watch. Laughing, I waved for my friend to calm down. 

 “Damari. It’s ok,” I said. “I was just messing with you.” 

 Clicking their teeth together, my friend glared at me. 

 “You know, I get pranked often enough by your wife,” they said. “I don’t need you adding to it.” 

 “Shouldn’t have decided to be my friend, then,” I said, sticking out my tongue. “Besides, you like it.” 

 “Wha-?” Damari sputtered. “I don’t like it. Why would you think I-?” 

 “In any case, we should get started,” I interrupted. “Are you ready?” 

 My friend’s face was crimson now, and they’d narrowed their eyes to slits. 

 “I was ready before you came in here,” they growled. “Now, I’m just irritated.” 

 “Not a bad place to starts an infiltration mission from,” I said. “Come on.” 

 Damari grumbled to themselves as they followed behind me, but that was ok. The sight of a disgruntled person, scientist or otherwise, was fairly common in this place. 

 As Zaeden, walking through Aeronautics was strange for me. A century ago, I’d stumbled down these corridors with an Ancient stuck in my head, one that had been fighting to break through my control so it could torture me into a living death. I’d thought my brother was dead, and my grief had been what had driven me to this building in the first place. In addition, a new scene had waited for me around every corner, since I’d never stepped foot inside of it before. 

 As before, I’d once more lost Pheniks, if not to something as permanent as death, but now, I knew each of the Houses’ headquarters well, and while this floor might be devoted to only Aeronautics instead of designated as a secret lab, its architecture was the same. At least this time, I didn’t have to worry about sneaking around while heading to the lifts. 

 Once we reached them, Damari and I flew to the top of the tower, stepping out on the floor below Sanya’s office, and as expected, it was deserted, hence why I’d decided to make a move tonight. With the high Strata home for the evening and the plausible deniability of my team’s experiment to give me cover, it had been too good of an opportunity to waste. 

 At a swift stride, I led Damari along, bypassing the offices on either side of us. My friend kept giving me odd looks for this—the information we wanted might be in those offices, after all—but their curiosity had been expected. I hadn’t told them the details of tonight’s mission, afraid it might scare them off, and I hadn’t wanted to use my authority on them. Who wanted to order a friend around when they might volunteer to help instead? So, when we glided into First Stratus Teag’s office, they glanced around curiously, probably wondering why I’d chosen this room out of all the ones available to us. 

 “Nice digs,” they commented. 

 Shoving their hands in their pockets, they started circling the room. 

 “Mm,” I said. “I’ve got the storecase, and I’m monitoring the hallway outside. Can you look for physical clues while I do that? Tonight’s target might have hidden something in a book or a similarly tiny hiding space, assuming he’s part of this conspiracy, of course.” 

 “You got it, LV!” Damari said. 

 As they messed with items on the nearby shelves, I had my array scour the First Stratus’ storecase for any mentions of a neurotoxin or other suspicious language. While it worked, I stared at the desk in the center of the room, ignoring a woman’s flickering ghost on the other side of it. 

 It shouldn’t have surprised me that this place hadn’t changed since the Ancient’s Crisis. Yes, the room was smaller than Aeronautics, making it easier to renovate, but it was the traditional office of Cerullis’ First Stratus, and none of the Houses liked changing tradition, not for anyone lower Stratus than a shukusen at least. 

 Sighing, I turned away from a source of aching guilt to help Damari with their search. I didn’t get far with this, however, before the feed from a recorder in the hall outside had me stiffening. Shoving my current book back on its shelf, I touched Damari’s shoulder as I passed them. 

 “With me,” I said. 

 Striding to the back wall, I passed through its painted landscape with my friend on my heel. 

 “Is this a bolt hole? Cool!” they said. “How did you know this was-?” 

 Spinning on Damari, I shoved them into a wall with a hand over their mouth. The glow of the lift beside us illuminated their indignant expression in the split second that it took First Stratus Teag and shukusen Sanya to stride into the office. Unless my friend had accessed the room’s recorders, they wouldn’t have seen the leaders of Cerullis coming inside, not with the hologram blocking our vision, but we both heard their footsteps, and once Damari understood what I’d done, they nodded for me to remove my hand. Together, we listened with bated breath, and I watched Teag lean against his desk while Sanya collapsed into a chair in front of him. 

 “It’s done,” she said, “which makes part one a success. Why am I not more relieved?” 

 “Because the other Houses will give us hell when they learn about the resources we’ve used tonight,” Teag said before resting a hand on the shukusen’s shoulder, “but hey! You shouldn’t think about that right now. I know you like to worry about the future, but we need to focus on the present. We have our wormhole. We have near instantaneous communication between here and the sun. That’s something to celebrate.” 

 “I know! I just-” 

 Dropping her face into her hands, Sanya rubbed it. 

 “Why can’t the others see the threat that we face?” she said with her voice muffled. “Why won’t anyone listen to us?” 

 They were both quiet while I exchanged a glance with Damari. I wasn’t sure what my friend was thinking, but I was trying to figure out what Sanya and Teag were doing. Now that I knew Laylah-Feena and Rylan’s team had created a wormhole on the order of Cerullis’ shukusen, I was curious about what came next in their plan. 

 I was also concerned that Talira might soon send me here on a deep cover mission, all to investigate these two. Nothing they’d said had indicated that they were planning to hurt Lutov—the Houses kept secrets all the time, as was their right—but I could see this secret turning into something I’d need to handle, and I truly hoped it didn’t. I’d been looking forward to properly meeting Sanya. 

 With a sigh, Teague pushed himself off of his desk. 

 “Give me your hands,” he said. 

 Ok. That had been more familiar than most people were with their shukusen . Sanya didn’t seem to mind, lifting her head before hesitantly giving her hands to Teag. With a smile, he tugged her to her feet before leaning down for a kiss. 

 For a moment, all I could do was dumbly blink at what I was watching. I’d had my suspicions that something had been going on between those two, but this was a hell of a way to confirm it. 

 When the kiss deepened, I pushed the feed to a corner of my vision, hoping Sanya and Teag wouldn’t go any further than this. I’d never had a problem with watching people please one another, but doing it without them knowing I was there just felt wrong . 

 Unfortunately, I couldn’t close the feed. I couldn’t rely on audio alone when at any moment, Teag or Sanya could use this bolt hole to leave. I’d need the seconds that visuals would give me to get down the lift myself. So even with me unfocusing my eyes to blur Sanya and Teag’s forms, I saw hands going under clothes, and I heard their gasps and moans growing more passionate. 

 I also heard Damari gag. They’d plastered their hands to their ears with their eyes squeezed shut, and wincing, I tapped their arm. When they met my gaze, I jerked my head toward the lift.  

 “Meet at my apartment,” I said in sub-vocals. 

 Gulping, Damari leapt at the lift, making no noise, and I got the distinct pleasure of staying behind, but I could deal with that. This wasn’t the first time I’d been caught in such an awkward situation, although that didn’t make it any easier. 

 Fortunately, I’d learned a few tricks over the years. While I waited, I reviewed that I’d pulled from Teag’s storecase before I’d been interrupted. I didn’t find anything helpful, of course. In the century I’d been doing this, I could count on one hand when I’d gotten answers on a first fishing attempt. 

 I did, however, run across some amusing correspondences, but only one of them caught my eye. Over the last few weeks, Second Stratus Krish had sent Teag several messages about Fifth Stratus Harvel, the man who’d been bothering my sister. Apparently, Harvel had some… interesting views about how Cerullis should handle the other Houses. To be fair to him, they seemed spawned out of frustration with the discrimination that members of House Cerullis still dealt with, even this many years after the Ancients Crisis. 

 All of this was concerning. I mentally noted to look into him later, or maybe I could ask Talira- 

 On the other side of the hologram, Sanya said, “We should get an overnight. It’s not safe here.” 

 With a pained groan, Teag nodded his blobby head. 

 “You go first,” he said. “I’ll meet you there.” 

 Swallowing hard, Sanya spun, quickly leaving, and after a good three minutes, Teag followed her. Thank. Mother. Time. 

 I stayed in place until after they’d left the building, and when I stepped back into the office, an unexpected wave of exhaustion hit me. Careful not to touch anything, I sank to the floor, leaning against a wall, while my array finished its scan. 

 Why were Teag and Sanya hiding their relationship? Plenty of shukusenth and First Strata had had romantic relationships in the past. Hell, my dad had come from a brief fling between Talira and another House’s First Stratus. Though short, that relationship had still been serious enough to warrant each party committing to raising a child. She’d never told us which of the First Strata it had been, but I had my guesses. 

 Maybe Sanya and Teag had realized that Cerullis couldn’t afford any extra scrutiny right now. The House might be mostly recovered from the Ancients Crisis, but they were still the most closely watched out of the six. Perhaps those two simply didn’t want to put more pressure on their House. 

 Why did I care about that, though? What they did in private was none of my business. 

 As I let the conundrum fall away from me, though, something else stepped into place, something worse. The reason I’d dove into the Rylan persona every morning for the last two and a half weeks. The reason I’d started drinking myself to sleep. 

 My fingers twitched while my bared forearm drew my gaze because no matter what I did to cover it up, I was still reeling from everything that had happened between a disastrous party and a raid on House Zan. Work had helped to a degree but not… not enough. 

 Fortunately, my array soon informed me that it had completed its work, long before I might have started tumbling a knife through my fingers. Standing, I returned to Aeronautics, all while conforming my behavior to the Rylan persona once more.

Chapter 28: Debrief
I ran into Laylah-Feena near our cubicle. 

 “There you are!” she said. “Where did you go? I couldn’t find you.” 

 Hooray… time to play our parts again, all under the assumption that someone would be watching us. In Lutov, someone was almost always watching. 

 Throwing a thumb over my shoulder, I said, “Washroom. I’m sorry, Third Stratus.” 

 With a chortle, Laylah-Feena waved a hand at me. 

 “Don’t apologize for that,” she said. “Anyway, the experiment was a success, in case you were curious. We helped to create the first man-made wormhole! Isn’t that exciting?” 

 Bouncing forward, she grabbed my hand, and I forced blood into my cheeks. 

 “It is,” I said. 

 My embarrassment was only half-faked. I hated pretending to be enamored with my sister like Rylan was. 

 Releasing one of my hands, Laylah-Feena covered a yawn. 

 “Goodness. It’s late. Time stops for no one, not even us victorious scientists, huh?” she said. “Are you ready to leave?’ 

 Making my eyes bulged, I stammered, “Third Stratus, the processes that you assigned to me… I need- I haven’t-” 

 “Oh, don’t worry about that,” Laylah-Feena said. “I’ll give you a break with them, just this once.” 

 “Then… yes,” I said. “I’d like to go home and get some sleep.” 

 “Fantastic!” Laylah-Feena said. “Come on, then.” 

 Neither of us said a word on the way across the city, and when we reached our apartments, we both entered mine. Inside, Damari was watching something on the apartment’s holodrama plate, and on the side of the table closest to the door, two drinks were already sitting in place: a whiskey sour for me and a fruity concoction for Feena. My sister and I dropped into our assigned seats, just… sitting there for a moment while Damari powered down the holodrama plate. When I could, I grabbed my whiskey sour, lifting it toward my friend. 

 “Thanks,” I said. 

 “No problem,” Damari said. 

 They ruffled their hair, sending water droplets flying. 

 “I took a shower while I was waiting. I hope you don’t mind.” 

 “Not at all,” I said. “I don’t blame you, considering what we ran into.” 

 Damari grimaced as they sat across from us, and Feena leaned forward for her drink. 

 “What did you run into?” she asked. 

 “Nothing!” Damari and I shouted. 

 Still bent over, Feena glanced between us with her eyes narrowed. 

 “Nothing important, at least,” I clarified. 

 “Ah.” 

 Straightening, Feena took a sip of her drink. 

 “So?” she said. “Please tell me we got something out of all that work.” 

 “I got jack shit,” Damari said, crossing their arms. 

 When I raised my eyebrows, they made a face. Even if they hadn’t been on a mission in a while, they should know that the highest Strata person in the room decided what was relevant. 

 “Look. I didn’t get far with my search before we were interrupted,” they said. “From that, I can say that whoever claims that office has an obsession with those from beyond the stars. I’ve never seen a more extensive collection of books about those alien beings.” 

 “Clearly you’ve never toured Zae and Ko’s library,” Feena said under her breath. “I swear. It’s like every book has something to do with them.” 

 Jerking toward my sister, I glared at her. 

 “Those books are about space, not those from beyond the stars,” I said. “I can’t help it that the only books to discuss the first topic always include the latter.” 

 Feena just gave me an innocent smile. I kept glaring at her until Damari cleared their throat. 

 “Anyway,” they said, rolling their eyes, “I also found something that looked like a diary. Couldn’t tell you a lick of what it said off the top of my head, but I can access my memories of it so I can transcribe it for you. If ya like.” 

 “That would be useful, thank you,” I said, “but don’t make it a priority. I doubt the man who wrote it is involved in this plot.” 

 Shrugging, Damari said, “Ok. That’s about all I got. Do ya need anything else, LV, or am I all done for the night?” 

 For some reason, frustration welled up in me at that, and I didn’t fully consider my next few words. 

 “I’d love it if people stopped being such assholes. Why do we keep creating new and horrible ways to kill each other?” I said. 

 How in the hell had that been related to what my friend had asked? 

 Damari and Feena stared at me for long enough that I sighed, slumping in my chair. 

 “That was uncalled for, I know. I’m sorry. It’s hard to control certain things when I’m with people I trust, and I’ve been off all night,” I said. “In any case, I don’t need anything else from you, Damari. You’ve already been immensely helpful.” 

 My friend exchanged a look with my sister before smiling at me. 

 “Cool!” they said. “Can I stay here tonight? If I head home now, I’ll only get a couple hours of sleep before I need to leave for my weekly atmospheric brush.” 

 “You’re welcome to, I suppose,” I said, cocking my head at them. “You are aware that there’s only one bed here and that I tend to get cuddly in my sleep, right?” 

 For a split second, the smile on Damari’s face tightened. 

 “I’ll make do,” they said. “I’m guessing you two need to discuss mission specifics now?” 

 “Yeah, that usually comes right before bed,” Feena said. “Zae likes to keep to his routines.” 

 Snorting, I said, “You think I’m stuck to a routine? Hell, you should have seen Ko, back when he was the Lokke Vitras.” 

 “Fortunately, neither Damari nor I had to,” Feena said with a smirk. “Damari, feel free to do what you like, but please block nerve signals from your ears until we indicate otherwise. All right?” 

 “Sure!”  

 Slapping their thighs, Damari got to their feet. 

 “I’ll just lounge on the bed for a while,” they said. 

 Feena and I waited until they’d gotten comfortable before digging into the meat of tonight’s recovered data, which was… 

 “Nothing, Feena,” I said. “I’ll have to review what my array retrieved and read Teag’s diary, but I’m fairly certain that I found nothing of use tonight.” 

 With a low sigh, Feena took a sip from her drink before cupping it once more. 

 “Fantastic,” she said. “It was too much to hope that this one would be quick, huh?’ 

 “Mm.” 

 Finishing off my drink in one go, I slammed it on the table. 

 “It’s too bad,” I said. “Rylan’s affection for Laylah is really starting to bother me.” 

 “You can’t adjust the persona?” Feena asked. “Make it so he doesn’t… you know?” 

 Waving at herself, she looked away while I shifted in place. 

 “That’s not how it works, unfortunately. Once they’re… them, I can’t tweak their personalities. They just… do their own thing, for the most part,” I said, “but speaking of Laylah, I tagged some useful information for her.” 

 Glancing at me, Feena said, “Oh?” 

 “Mmhmm,” I said. “You know Harvel, the guy who’s pining after Laylah almost as hard as Rylan?” 

 With a secret smile, Feena swirled her drink in her glass. 

 “Yeah?” 

 “I’d keep Laylah away from him, if you can,” I said. “He has some strange viewpoints about things. I’ll send you the relevant messages later.” 

 “That’s too bad. He’s attractive,” Feena said. “Care to elaborate on these viewpoints for me?” 

 Making a face, I said, “In essence? He wants every House to serve Cerullis in the same way that the children of Ibis serve Lutov.” 

 “Ugh.” 

 With a wrinkled face, Feena pulled away from me. 

 “I won’t go near him, then,” she said, “but besides that, we have nothing?” 

 “Yup,” I said. 

 For a moment, we watched Damari, who was swaying their head to an unheard beat. 

 “So?” Feena eventually said. “Next steps?” 

 Looking down my nose at her, I said, “Come on, Feena. You’re Second Stratus. You know what our next steps are.” 

 “Wait for another opportunity?” 

 “That’s right.” 

 Groaning, Feena sank into her seat until her head touched the top of her chair. 

 “This’ll be one of those awful, months-long missions, won’t it?” she said. 

 “I sincerely hope not,” I said. “Considering that possibility, though, should you duck out? You must have your own work to handle.” 

 The reason she’d left that work buzzed in my mind, and I internally flailed at it, burying that knowledge. I couldn’t think about the Chosen or what they were. I couldn’t think about their fates. I couldn’t think about my sister’s status as one. 

 “Ha! You won’t get rid of me that easily, Zae,” Feena said. “I talked to Talira. Once she found out that I’ve been helping, she assigned me to you. Said something about you needing the support.” 

 Lifting my eyes to the ceiling, I shook my head. 

 “I do not,” I said, “but I’m grateful for it nonetheless.” 

 Smiling, I put our glasses in the apartment’s sterilizer while Feena stretched. 

 With my back to her, I said, “Is Damari in charge of watching me tonight?” 

 She’d know what I really meant. 

 Am I so unstable that even you think I need a babysitter? Are the two of you so concerned that you’ll go out of your way to make sure I don’t do anything ‘unwise’ tonight? 

 With her clothes rustling, Feena sighed. 

 “Damari wants to be your friend. They can see that you’re hurting and want to help,” she said. “When’s the last time you had a good night’s sleep? And don’t even think about lying to me.” 

 Slumping, I rubbed my face before turning to my sister. 

 “I don’t remember,” I said. 

 When I lowered my hands, my sister was watching me with concern, although it wasn’t an oppressive amount. 

 “If this becomes a months-long mission, you won’t return to the stable anchor that is your family for a while,” she said. “Take any lifeline that’s thrown to you.” 

 Squeezing my eyes closed, I nodded. 

 “I know. I will,” I said before meeting my sister’s gaze. “Thank you.” 

 “Anytime.” 

 As she headed for the door, she ruffled my hair. 

 “Good night, Zae,” she said. “Sweet dreeeeeams.” 

 The sung note of her last word echoed in the apartment as the door closed behind her, and in a few leaping strides, I was close enough to flop on the bed, bouncing Damari in place. 

 Lifting their head, they shouted, “Can I listen now?” 

 When I nodded, they started working their jaw. 

 “Mother Time, I hate how that feels,” they said. “So. Bed time. How are we doing this?” 

 “I’ll sleep on the floor, and don’t you dare argue with me,” I said. “I know why you’re really staying over tonight.” 

 With a grin, Damari dropped into the pillows, swiping their arms and legs over the comforter. 

 “Why would I argue about getting this whole bed to myself?” they said. 

 Chuckling, I got up, although I paused before entering the washroom. I probably shouldn’t ask this, considering how much my friend disliked classical music, but… 

 “Hey, Damari. If you can, will you go with me to Leski’s performance?” I asked. 

 If I couldn’t be near my wife for a while, I needed someone by my side when I saw her for a few hours, especially when all of it would be from a distance. 

 Damari craned their neck to look at me, and so many thoughts and emotions ran across their face before they smiled. 

 “Sure, LV!” they said. “Sounds fun!” 

 I truly did not deserve them. 

 “Thank you,” I said. 

 With a laugh, Damari relaxed before playing with the air, probably messing with something in their array. 

 “Anytime, Zaeden,” they said. “That’s what friends are for.”

Chapter 29: Restlessness
For what seemed like the thousandth time, I read the fifth line of this process again, somehow keeping my eyes from crossing. Pressure was pounding behind my skull’s frontal bone, growing more intense with every moment, and my muscles were so cramped that I was afraid of what would happen when I eventually moved. Meanwhile, Laylah was happily humming behind me, swaying in place. She bumped into me again, and I barely avoided snapping at her, biting my tongue at the last minute. She didn’t deserve my wrath, just because I was in a foul mood. 

 Five and a half months had passed since the last interesting event in my life: the creation of the wormhole hovering in our planet’s vicinity. Or its vicinity on a cosmic level, at least. As everyone on our team should have expected, the rest of Lutov hadn’t been happy about Cerullis running such a ‘risky’ experiment without prior authorization, citing something about our overuse of allocated resources for that month to justify it. 

 What that meant for my team? We’d been put on hold, waiting for Krish to give us a new assignment. 

 Which also meant that I’d been stuck reviewing processes for other teams, and it had been maddening . Both my talent and Laylah’s were being wasted because Cerullis had to bow to the other Houses’ fear. I was beginning to see why Harvel insisted that they were our inferiors, even if I still vehemently disagreed with him. 

 When the characters on my monitor started merging together, I rubbed my eyes before releasing an explosive sigh, slapping my palms on the desk. 

 Glancing over her shoulder, Laylah said, “Problem, Rylan?” 

 I shook my head. 

 “I don’t know how much more I can get done tonight,” I said. “I’ve been staring at this process for half an hour, and I still can’t figure out what’s wrong with it.” 

 “You have seemed distracted this afternoon,” Laylah said, tapping on her lips. “Time to go home for the day?” 

 Oh, thank Mother Time. 

 “Unless you have something more you need me to do,” I said. 

 “No, I’ve got everything under control for now,” Laylah said. “You go ahead. I should listen to this last recording, but maybe we can go out for drinks later?’ 

 With a smile, I said, “I’d like that.” 

 “Great! I’ll see you later, then.” 

 After packing up, I rushed out of headquarters, unwilling to engage in the torture of social obligations tonight, but once I was outside, I slowed to a stroll because why wouldn’t I? The sun felt nice on my skin, and as a random face in the crowd, I didn’t have to worry about someone staring at me. 

 I almost didn’t go home. The last few months had been disturbing in that I… I’d been losing time. Mother Time, that still felt wrong to admit, even if only to myself. It had been happening for a while, actually, but I hadn’t noticed it until the last few months, and I had yet to figure out what was wrong, although I was fairly certain of the cause. 

 When I’d picked up on the anomaly a few months ago, I’d maybe, sort of, kind of, gone on a paranoid bender for a little while, although it probably hadn’t been obvious to the outside observer. To them, I’d probably seemed a bit more irritable than normal, but in my own head, my life had been a mess. The only reason I’d stopped freaking out about this seeming fault in my mind was that it hadn’t negatively impacted my life. No one had commented on strange behavior from me, and in the last four months, I’d gotten enough recreation time before it happened to keep from cracking. Or cracking more than I already had, I supposed. 

 So, why should I worry about this problem, especially when I couldn’t control it? Better to keep it firmly out of mind, when possible. 

 As usual, when I entered my apartment, an alert flashed into my vision, but I dismissed it without reading its contents. Those alerts were what triggered my episodes of lost time, or that was what I thought, at least. 

 Pulling my shoes off, I padded into the kitchen, cuing the refectory to make me dinner. While it worked, I retrieved a tumbler, meaning to fill it with whiskey. Yes, I was meeting Laylah for drinks later, but she’d forgive me if I got a head start on that, considering the day I’d had. 

 At the apartment’s mini bar, I frowned, eyeing the empty bottles lying on it. Hadn’t those been full when I’d gotten home yesterday? Was this part of my lost-? 

 I couldn’t think about it. 

 After disposing of the empties, I lifted a bottle to pour myself a finger of its amber liquid, but the sheet of paper beneath it caught my eye. Someone had handwritten a note on it, and each of the displayed words changed in size, as if the writer had had a shaky hand. With my skin crawling, I retrieved the paper to throw it away, but my name, written in big, blocky letters, made me pause. 

 Mother Time, I shouldn’t read this, but as I sank onto the bed with the whiskey bottle in my hand, I couldn’t help myself. 

 RYLAN, YOU STUBBORN BASTARD, 

 Give me my fucking body back, or you’re going to be in so much T.R.O.U.B.L.E. I can’t even- 

 With a sigh, I stopped reading, letting the note float to the ground. After taking a pull from the whiskey bottle, I flopped onto my bed. Mother Time, Rylan’s stubbornness was becoming an issue, but… I couldn’t focus on that now.  

 Time slipped me by. I only let it creep back into my awareness when I heard Feena come inside. 

 “How does it already reek of alcohol in here?” she said. 

 I couldn’t bring myself to say anything, which had my sister clicking her tongue. Coming to stand over me, she snatched the bottle away, holding it up to check the level of the liquid inside. 

 “I only took a sip,” I said. “Enough to last until you got here.” 

 Huffing, Feen replaced the bottle on the mini-bar. 

 “Should I contact Damari?” she said. 

 “No.” 

 Rubbing my face, I hauled myself off of the bed’s sheets. 

 “I’ll be fine tonight.” 

 Feena stared at me like she didn’t believe me, so I slapped my cheeks and smiled at her. 

 “I promise, Feena,” I said. 

 Without a word, she took a seat at the kitchen table, where we did our evening debriefs, but I didn’t join her, pulling my leg under me. 

 “Anything?” I asked. 

 “Do you seriously think I ran across an interesting tidbit in the bullshit work that Krish has me doing?” Feena said. 

 Sighing, I looked down at my hands, folded in my lap. 

 “No. That was too much to hope for,” I said. “Hell, we should have infiltrated another team. When choosing this one, I didn’t think that what they were doing would prompt so much outrage.” 

 “Being on lockdown for so long has sucked, made worse by our inability to switch teams,” Feena said, “but that hasn’t stopped you from running off in the middle of the night recently.” 

 “Like my late-night excursions have done us any good. Whoever requested this neurotoxin has erased their tracks,” I said, flexing my fingers. 

 With a groan, Feena dropped her head onto the table. 

 “What will we do, Zae?” she said. “I don’t know how much longer I can take this stagnancy, and I know you’re long over it.” 

 “Not that what I want matters, given who I am,” I said, “but don’t worry. I might have a plan to get us home soon.” 

 Until now, though, I hadn’t wanted to use it. Not only could it be reckless, but it might pose certain… difficulties for me. 

 Lifting her face off of the table, Feena propped her chin on it. 

 “What’s that?” she asked. 

 Clenching my hands together, I said, “Since we started this, you’ve gotten the occasional report from Talira too, I’m guessing?” 

 “Yeah,” Feena said. “They’re sporadic as hell, but yeah.” 

 “So, you know that ever since the assembly that granted him provisional control of House Zan, Phen’s been acting funny?” I said. 

 Feena went still, not even breathing, and I had to look away. I knew that when it came to Pheniks and me, the pressure for her to pick a side had gotten intense, which had made me reluctant to discuss my plan with her, but she needed to know about it now. 

 “You’re going to talk to him?” she said. 

 When I nodded, a confusing mix of expressions crossed her face. 

 “Will you be going as his brother or the Lokke Vitras?” she asked. 

 I gripped my hands together so tightly that my knuckles strained against my skin. 

 “Probably both,” I said, “but it might not happen for a while. I need to make a few enquiries before I decide If I’ll approach him.” 

 Sitting up, Feena crossed her arms. 

 “As your sister, I think this is a stupid idea, Zae. Phen won’t appreciate the first contact between you since then being an interrogation,” she said. “As a member of House Kolb, I don’t think you have much of a choice with this. You’ve read our grandmother’s reports, the same as me. You know that the Lokke Vitras can’t linger here for much longer, not if you’re to keep the month that Talira’s given you.” 

 “This mystery needs to be solved first, though,” I said. “We can’t leave a dangerous weapon in the hands of a subversive element.” 

 We sat in silence for a moment, considering the conundrum, until Feena shook her head. 

 “Well, that’s a problem for another day, and this one is over,” she said. “What are your plans for the evening?” 

 Lifting a hand, I raised a finger from it for reach task that I rattled off. 

 “Write my report for Talira. Figure out another way to get damn Rylan back below the surface, where he belongs. Once that’s done, I’ll see if anyone’s looking for a one-off date nearby, and then, either go on said date or listen to my current narration until I fall asleep.” 

 I hated lying to my sister, but she couldn’t know my real plan for this evening. 

 Slowly nodding, Feena said, “Sounds good. If you need me, I’m right next door, and… try to go easy on the whiskey?” 

 “I have no intention of drinking tonight,” I said. “Go to bed, Feena. Rylan will meet you at the usual spot in the morning.” 

 With a long sigh, Feena said, “Ok.” 

 She climbed to her feet, pausing with her fingers pressed into the tabletop. 

 “I love you, Zae,” she said. “Good night.” 

 “Love you too.” 

 And she walked out the door.

Chapter 30: Break-In
After Feena had left, I wrote up my daily report for Talira, like I’d told her I would. I hadn’t been lying about that. As the months had worn on, doing this had grown tiresome, but every time I’d suggested that they were a waste of my time, Talira had repeated her earlier command for me to send them. 

 Once I was done, it was time to start with the evening’s activities. I grabbed some snacks and a water bottle before heading out the door. Stuffed among people on their way home for the night, I took a shuttle to the closest landing pad, and on arriving, I waited in line for my skycruiser, giving a drone my doctored designator once I reached the head of the line. 

 I only relaxed once I was high in the clouds, heading away from Xygek. I’d thought for sure that someone would stop me by now. 

 About an hour later, my skycruiser landed, and I climbed through my snacks’ wrappers to get out of it. The dark of night enveloped me, and as I strolled along, I soaked in the moonlight. All the while, I expected another skycruiser or several Second Strata to alight in the tall grass around me. I hadn’t been subtle when leaving the city, and if Talira had noticed where I’d been heading, she’d have sent people to dissuade me from it, as per my long-ago given instructions. 

 But I continued unimpeded until I saw a structure on the horizon, which slowed me to a stop. Home. 

 Should I be doing this? While I was on a deep-cover mission, seeing my family was always detrimental for me. For instance, after attending Leski’s performance a few months ago, I’d been a wreck for days afterward. Going home… I could only imagine what it would do to me. 

 I, however, could only find the answer to a most urgent question here. Talira wouldn’t tell me what I wanted to know, no matter how many times I’d asked, and getting the information that I desired another way would have been close to impossible, not with me staying deep cover at least. Easier to come here. 

 So, I moved forward. Getting into the house tested my skills, but considering who lived here, I’d have been disappointed if they hadn’t. I barely bypassed the defense grid around the place, and breaking through the security processes on a window took far longer than it should. Entering through the front door would have been easier, certainly, but if possible, I’d like it if no one knew that I’d been here tonight. 

 Fortunately, once I was inside, my task got easier. Trap placement in the house might change on a daily basis, but I was familiar with their many combinations. In addition, recorders were sparse here. I’d insisted on having some installed, all at key junctions, but for Korix’s sake, we’d kept them to the bare minimum. 

 I’d find the answer I needed on either Leski or Korix’s personal storecases, but instead of heading to either of their studies, my silent feet glided me toward our bedroom. This was a bad idea, and I knew it. I couldn’t stop myself, though. 

 As I passed the room beside ours, however, my stride hiccupped, nearly tumbling me to the floor. Its door was open and through it… 

 In a haze, I wandered into the room. The tarp and paint cans from months ago were gone, leaving the carpet pristine, and the paintings on the wall were done. Korix’s castle with its knights and horses had a road leading from it into Leski’s field of flowers. Stars and comets were scattered on the ceiling, and there was a forest opposite the castle. With a lingering trail of Leski’s flowers along its bottom edge, I found my contribution: a sunrise. A reminder that every day was new and full of opportunities to make oneself a better person. 

 The crib sat beneath this with a mobile hanging over it. A rocking chair was beside it, flanked by a small chest of drawers, and near the door was a changing table.  

 I looked at this, and my eyes burned with my hands becoming dead weights at my sides. They’d finished the nursery, which shouldn’t surprise me. I’d known they’d do that but still. I’d wanted to be here, helping, for more than the short time that I had been. 

 Shivering, I padded into the hall, doing my best to shrug it off. There was no point in getting upset about this, no point. And yet, I was. 

 A step from opening our bedroom’s door, I bit down on a laugh. I must hate myself, considering the torture I was putting myself through right now. 

 Overriding the door’s processes, I had it open the barest of slivers. With my heart in my throat, I glided to the foot of our bed, keeping my eyes fixed on a point above it, until my stomach bumped into the footboard. Then, I looked down. 

 Both of my partners were home tonight. On his side of the bed, Korix was sprawled with his arms thrown above his head while Leski was nearly buried by the covers, huddling on herself. 

 For who knew how long, all I could see was them. I rarely went on months-long missions, meaning we were rarely apart for this long, but when we were, reuniting with them was like seeing them for the first time. They were beautiful, my wife and life partner. Always beautiful, and it always took my breath away. 

 This time, I couldn’t retrieve the air that I’d lost. I could swear that something had perforated my diaphragm again while a stone slowly crushed my chest. Mother Time, my heart… 

 Absently, I brushed my fingers along my breastbone in the moment before something rustled in the sheets. I jerked my eyes toward the disturbance, and on seeing it, I wanted to smack myself for my lack of awareness. A rather gorgeous woman was sleeping between Korix and Leski. I didn’t know how I’d missed her, but there she lay, and hell. I was an idiot. I shouldn’t have come here. 

 Slowly taking a breath, I turned, making my way to the door. Lost in my thoughts as I was, I didn’t know what warned me, whether a sixth sense or long-drilled instincts, but halfway to the hall, I shifted sideways as someone tried to wrap their arms around my neck. Thanks to that movement, my assailant couldn’t get a chokehold, and I slipped free, drawing a knife as I spun. I barely stopped it from laying open Korix’s carotid artery, half-aware of the rifle’s muzzle that had been pressed into my chest. 

 After a blink, Korix had his rifle dissipate, lifting his empty hands into view, and I lowered my knife. We stepped back, eyeing each other, but when Korix eventually took a breath to speak, I shook my head, holding a finger to my lips. 

 “Your guest?” I said in sub-vocals. 

 Glancing at the bed, Korix nodded. 

 “Probably best not to wake her,” he replied in kind. 

 “Meet me in the library?” I said. 

 Cool eyes shifted to me, almost jarring me out of the combat state I was in. 

 “Leski?” Korix asked. 

 Should we wake up my wife? Since Korix knew I was here, it wouldn’t be long before she did too. There was no longer a point in keeping her asleep. Still. I was loath to disturb her rest. 

 “I’m not here in a mission capacity,” I said. “I’d like to see her, but I also don’t want to be an inconvenience.” 

 Rolling his eyes, Korix said, “I’ll wake her up, then. Go on ahead. Do what you must to adjust your mood because I don’t want to talk to you like this.” 

 When he waved a hand over me, I barely suppressed my flinch, knowing I should do as he’d asked. A closed-off state had never worked well around any of my partners. 

 With a jerked nod, I hurried out of the room, making sure I was far from it before scrubbing my face. Tonight was not going the way I’d wanted.

Chapter 31: Family Check-In
The state I was in concerned me. I wasn’t fuzzy, and this evening’s events had continued in a sequential manner, not in snapshots like they did sometimes, so I wasn’t in shock. Instead, I felt… detached from myself. 

 I knew what I should be feeling right now, waiting in the library for my partners. I should be excited, nervous about the berating that Korix was sure to give me, eager to kiss them both. Instead, I was just… hmm. Not empty. That wasn’t the right word. I was… 

 I was bored. 

 This should concern me, right? It was supposed to but… 

 Finishing off my shot of whiskey, I set my glass aside, Korix wouldn’t be pleased that I hadn’t adjusted my mood as he’d asked. 

 I heard them before they entered, but when they stepped inside, I didn’t look up from the fire, which was why when Leski flung herself into my lap, it surprised me. She kissed me hard, insistent with it, and unable to do anything else, I held her until she’d had enough. 

 “You’re back!” she gasped when she broke away. “Oh… I’ve missed you so much.” 

 Snuggling against me, she rested her forehead on my shoulder, and I met Korix’s eyes over her. Taking one look at me, he shook his head before sitting in the armchair furthest away from us. He knew. He always knew. 

 And so would Leski once she’d gotten over her excitement. Both of them had been with me for over half of my life. They, out of all of Lutov’s citizens, were the only ones who could read me, no matter how good of a mask I was wearing. For reasons I didn’t understand, I still hid my mental state from them at times. 

 “I’m glad to see you too,” I said. “Unfortunately, I can’t stay for long, love.” 

 Leski fell still before shooting upright. 

 “Shukusen Talira’s sending you on another mission?” she growled. “What happened to the month off that she promised you?” 

 Wincing, I shifted Leski off of my lap. 

 “I’ll get it as soon as I’ve finished my current mission,” I said. 

 “Current mission-?” Leski started. 

 “Zaeden. Have you come home while in the middle of a deep-cover mission?” 

 Slowly, I shifted my gaze to Korix, who seemed calm, and wondered why I cared so little about how upset he must actually be. 

 “I have,” I said. 

 Then, I turned to Leski, ignoring him. 

 “Has House Drav given you a date for our handoff?” I said. “I’ve been asking about it, but no one will give me a straight answer.” 

 “Probably because Talira’s told them to keep quiet,” Korix said. “She’s worried that you’ll-” 

 I lifted a finger toward him, keeping my eyes on my wife. She was chewing the hell out of her lip, fiercely staring at a bookshelf. 

 “Love. Look at me,” I said. 

 I only continued once she had. 

 “I want to be there when Drav gives us our child, even if it’s by watching via a recorder. Please, give me a date so I don’t miss it.” 

 I didn’t say a word about what I was truly afraid of. If I was right, missing our child’s handoff would change who I was, and not in a good way. It wouldn’t break me. I’d gone through worse than my current troubles before, but I was pretty sure that having another blow land before I’d healed from the last would drastically alter my personality. 

 Plus, I wanted to be there for our child. Regardless of how they’d never be able to intellectually remember that moment in later years, the feeling of safety that I could help impart would remain, and I desperately wanted to provide that for them. 

 Leski must see this. Releasing her lip, she got an incredibly determined look on her face. 

 “Sometime in the next two weeks,” she said. “We don’t have an exact date, but I will speak with Talira. I’ll make sure that she notifies you as soon as we know.” 

 Two weeks? So soon? 

 Cupping Leski’s face, I tilted her to where I could kiss her forehead. 

 “Thank you,” I said against her skin. 

 Making disgruntled noises, she pushed against my chest, and I backed off, happy to have what I’d wanted. Before I could leave, though, she pincered her fingers in my thighs. 

 “Uh-uh,” she said. “You didn’t wake us up to ask one question and disappear.” 

 “You’re right. I didn’t mean to wake you up at all,” I said. 

 Taking hold of Leski’s wrist, I removed her hand from me. 

 “And I need to go,” I continued. “If I have so little time to finish this mission, I’ll need to accelerate a few things.” 

 When I again tried to stand, though, Korix was in front of me, and with a single hand, he pinned me to the couch. 

 “No,” he said. “This has gone from concerning to ridiculous, Zaeden. You’re going to stay, and the three of us will talk through a few things, even if I have to tie you down for it.” 

 From out of nowhere, something ugly and awful raised its head, and I showed Korix my teeth. 

 “You think you can keep me here?” I hissed. “I’m not an inexperienced kid anymore, Korix.” 

 My tone had been harsh enough that Leski pulled away from me, but Korix didn’t even blink. 

 “I can make escaping from me inconvenient. Doing what we want will get you out of here more quickly than struggling will, and you know it,” he said. “Lutov won’t fall to pieces if you take the time for a single conversation.” 

 Snarling, I knocked Korix’s hand off of me, but I didn’t try to escape. Instead, I paced in front of the fire, dragging my hands through my hair, while my partners stared at me. Were they exchanging messages about how to handle what they saw?  

 Eventually, their silence became too much, and I stopped with one hand on my hip, throwing the other one toward them. 

 “Well?” 

 Neither of them said a word, which had me tapping a foot so hard that it shook my body. After another moment of quiet, I flung my hands overhead. 

 “What do you want me to say?” I shouted. “That you were right, Ko? Because you were! Work hasn’t helped me as much as I thought it would. That I’m drinking far too much? Because I am! Hell, you can probably smell it on me right now. That I’ve been cutting myself when I know- I know I shouldn’t?” 

 As I fell quiet, I scrubbed the heels of my palms into my eyes before dragging them to either side of my face. 

 “But I don’t need to tell you that, do I?” I said. “Feena’s probably sent you a message every time she’s walked in on me… or Damari. They’ve probably shared-” 

 “Damari has told us nothing,” Korix said. “When we’ve asked, they said they wouldn’t talk about a friend behind his back.” 

 That wasn’t surprising, actually. It fit their character well. 

 My partners were once more staring at me, though, and I wished one of them would say something. I wished one of them would speak what was on their mind. They must have thoughts about what I’d said, but since they wouldn’t talk and because I couldn’t bear the weight of their gazes, I faced the fire, gazing into its depths. 

 After who knew how long, I said, “I don’t understand why I’m like this right now. Sure, life’s been testing me lately, but I can usually roll with the punches. Sure, Phen was involved this time but…” 

 The crackling of the fire filled my ears while its destructive nature filled my mind. 

 “Besides that, it’s been five months,” I said. “You’d think this hurt would have faded by now. Yes, I can be overly dramatic, but this seems extreme. Doesn’t it? And Mother Time… I haven’t even touched on what my drama is doing to you. We’re supposed to support each other, not devote our time and energy to only one person. To me.” 

 A sigh rose from behind me, and a moment later, a small hand filled mine. 

 When I glanced down at Leski, she said, “Come here.” 

 She tugged me to the couch, where Korix was waiting, and after sitting me down, she forced me to lay my head in his lap. Kneeling in front of us, she carded her fingers through my hair. We stayed there for a while, long enough that I started to get drowsy, before Leski spoke. 

 “Zae, I love you dearly, but you’re being an utter moron.” 

 Snapping my eyes open, I squinted at her while she nodded. 

 “First of all, we do not pour all of our attention on you,” she continued. “You’re taking a lot of it right now, yes. I won’t argue that. How many times, though, have you and Ko helped me through a bad breakup? How many times have we gotten Ko through an episode?” 

 Flicking my eyes to Korix, I saw his jaw tighten, but I also felt him rest his hand on my stomach. 

 “We’re a team, working for each other’s benefit,” he said. “It just so happens that you’re the one in need right now. Don’t feel bad about that.” 

 Mother Time if I hadn’t already known what they were saying, but sometimes, I needed them to remind me. 

 “Ok,” I sighed. “Ok, I’ll accept that. You said ‘first of all’, Leski. Does that mean you have a follow-up?” 

 “I… do.” 

 Damn. I’d rarely seen my wife this uncertain before. 

 Glancing between Korix and me, she said, “I’m not the best when it comes to the mental struggles you two go through. I just don’t get it.” 

 Breaking off, she bit her lip, and I reached for her hand, squeezing it. 

 “If you have a suggestion, I’d love to hear it,” I said. “It can’t hurt me.” 

 I tried on a smile, surprised by how easy that was, but then, being with them had always helped me find my center, no matter how far off the deep end I’d dived. Seemingly reassured, Leski squared her shoulder. 

 “The core reason for your distress is that you think you betrayed your brother, losing him in the process,” she said. “Well, maybe this is a silly question, but have you talked to him about it? It’s been a few months, so he’s probably not furious anymore, and talking’s a good first step toward reconciliation. If you reach out and he rejects you, you could even begin forgiving yourself, having tried to make amends, and…You’re laughing.” 

 Oh, fuck. I knew that face. She was about to close off, never to offer another absolutely brilliant suggestion like this, and I couldn’t stop snickering into my palm. For some reason, Korix’s look of disapproval only made it worse. When Leski tried to draw her hand out of my grip, I squeezed tighter, shaking my head. 

 “No… It’s- it’s a… good idea. A wonderful… one,” I gasped. “Only…” 

 Unable to control myself, I rolled toward Korix, burying my face in his clothes while howling with laughter. Calming down took me far longer than it should, and when I sat up, I swung my legs off of the sofa. 

 Wiping my eyes, I said, “I’m sorry.  I shouldn’t have laughed like that. It’s just… what you’re suggesting? Talking to Phen? I was about to do that before Ko stopped me.” 

 “Ah,” Leski said. 

 Relaxing, she sat on her heels before cocking her head. 

 “Wait. It’s the middle of the night,” she said. “Why would you want to speak with him this late?” 

 “Zaeden means to interrogate him, of course,” Korix said. “Right?” 

 When I glanced at him, he was stiff, resting his eyes anywhere but on me. 

 “That was the plan,” I said. “He’s holding onto info that might help me end this mission.” 

 “You can’t!” Leski said, clasping my knee. “Interrogating Pheniks isn’t a good way to resume contact with him.” 

 Tilting my head to the side, I said, “You think I don’t know that?” 

 I patted her hand on my knee. 

 “Don’t worry. I can incorporate both issues in one conversation.” 

 Leski sucked on her lip before nodding. 

 “If anyone could do something so difficult, it’s you,” she said. “When will you go?” 

 “Soon,” I said. “First, I need to know if you want to talk about anything else and…” 

 I watched Korix from the corner of my eye. 

 “Ko and I need to discuss a few things. Don’t think I’m shooing you away, though. You’re welcome to stick around, if you like.” 

 Leski darted her eyes to Korix, clearly asking a question of him. 

 “You two should talk,” she carefully said. “Ko?” 

 Never moving a muscle, Korix said, “Mm. Could you check on our guest, love?” 

 As she slumped, Leski’s face fell, and I wonder what line of reasoning Korix had rejected. 

 “Yeah, I’ll do that,” she said. 

 While she climbed to her feet, I snatched her hand, hesitating before squeezing Korix’s shoulder. 

 “Thank you,” I said. “I should have come home long before now. Because I’ve seen you, I’ll be distracted when I leave, but trust me. That’s better than how I was earlier.” 

 “Happy to have helped,” Leski said. 

 Pulling her hand free, she held my head to her hip, and I wrapped an arm around her waist. 

 “I love you,” I said. “I’ll come home as soon as I can.” 

 “I know,” Leski said.  

 Claiming my hand, she brushed her lips along my knuckles. 

 “See you soon.”

Chapter 32: Addressing Our Problems
I watched Leski leave the library, and once she was gone, my hand fell away from Korix as swiftly as expression did from me. Even this many years later, an empty face was still my most natural state. Not that smiles and laughter felt unnatural! But I could only display this face with a select few people, and while Leski tolerated it on occasion, it made her uncomfortable. Besides that, I got the feeling that this might be the best mask to wear right now. 

 After several minutes of quiet had passed, I said, “Just say it.” 

 Yet still, only the crackle of flames filled the air. I didn’t make another move to change that, perfectly content to wait, and eventually, Korix fulfilled my expectations. 

 “You’re not listening to me. Even now, I have more experience with what you’re doing, but you don’t listen when I warn you about potential mistakes,” he said. “I don’t understand it. You’re smart enough to realize I’m a valuable resource, so why don’t you take advantage of that? Why don’t you listen?” 

 Hearing his words, I digested them, analyzing how they’d affected me. Then, I sapped irritation from me, like he’d taught me how to do years ago. I only spoke after I was empty of emotion. 

 “It’s because you still think of me as your student. I’m happy to accept your advice, but the reason I’m ‘not listening’, as you put it, is because I don’t always do as you say. I may be the Lokke Vitras, but I’m not you. I follow a lot of your practices, but some things, I do my own way, and I need you to let me try new things. I need you to stop believing they’ll fail, just because I’m still your kuvesk to you.” 

 I paused, giving Korix a chance to respond, but when he didn’t, I forged onward. 

 “That’s not why you’re upset, though, is it?” 

 If he was surprised that I’d noticed, he didn’t show it. 

 “No,” he said. “That has to do with something else: what I asked after you told Leski and me about this deep-cover mission.” 

 Clear as a bell, his voice rang from the past, screaming at me. 

 Are you trying to kill yourself? 

 Turning to me, Korix tucked one leg under the other, and clasping his hands together, he took a deep breath. 

 “Are you ready to join the Collective?” he said. “If- if you didn’t hold the position of the Lokke Vitras, would you have chosen to die those many months ago?” 

 Unlike with my irritation, I couldn’t swallow these feelings. Whipping my head to my life partner, I stared at him in horror. Was this what he’d been holding onto since then? Hell, he thought I wanted to leave him, and oh. Well did I know how that felt. 

 Reaching for him, I said, “Mother Time, Ko. I-” 

 He leaned away from me, fixing his eyes on his lap. 

 “Answer the question, please,” he said. 

 Dropping my hand to the couch, I swallowed. 

 “No. I don’t want to die.” 

 Korix tightened his grip on his hands while his shoulders drew together. 

 “Then, why, for the love of Mother Time, would you-?” 

 Breaking off, he cleared his throat. 

 “Why have you been… hurting yourself?” 

 That was a much harder question to answer. 

 “I’m not sure. I’m sorry. I wish I had an answer for you,” I said. “It started because I had the crazy idea that if I… did that, I could leak the evil in me away, and with that out of me, I could keep going. Since then, though, it’s evolved, and I don’t understand it anymore.” 

 With a strangled scream, Korix grabbed my arm, digging his fingers into it, and when his eyes met mine, they were wet. 

 “I don’t like it, Zae,” he hissed. “I don’t like knowing that you’re hurting so badly you’d- you’d-” 

 He gasped, pinching his fingers into my skin. 

 “I need you to be happy. I need you to be as safe as you possibly can be because you can’t go away, not for any reason,” he continued. “You- you can’t because I…” 

 Hiccupping on a breath, he took a few more before tremulously moving on. 

 “Yes, I have Leski now, and I love her, and I’d say the same thing to her if she were sitting here instead of you, but I can’t…” he said, gasping for a minute. “I don’t know what I’d do without you, so you have to- you have to stop, Zae. You have to-” 

 Darting forward, I grabbed Korix’s head to kiss him, stopping his ramble. When I pulled away, I didn’t release my grip, making sure I was holding his gaze. 

 “I will, Ko. I swear it to you,” I said. “It’s done. Ok?” 

 With a sipping gasp, Korix nodded, and I released him. 

 “I’m sorry,” I said. “I didn’t mean to-” 

 “Don’t. Please.” 

 Hell. Given how many times I’d asked him to keep his apologies—the ones I’d always found unnecessary—to himself, one would think I could receive the same treatment. I didn’t like it, though. 

 Usually, Korix had no problem with hearing me say I was sorry, and it was jarring, knowing this had upset him so badly that he’d rather shove it into our past than fully resolve it. Given that, facing him right now would be a mistake, but still, I did it, intending to continue the discussion whether he liked it or not. I, however, turned only to find a funny expression on his face. He looked like he was holding back from saying something. 

 With my stomach sinking, I said, “Is there something else? If so, you should get everything out in the open.” 

 “There’s nothing else,” Korix said. “Trust me. We’re good.” 

 Frowning, I said, “Then… what is it? Please, just say what’s on your mind. I don’t know how much longer I can stay here.” 

 With a snort, Korix gave a small shake of his head. 

 “Which is exactly the problem,” he said. 

 “Wha-?” 

 Korix lunged for me, tackling me onto the couch, and before I could say a word, he’d occupied my mouth. Ah. Of course. He wanted a release of the tension that had been hovering between us. 

 For the split second that this realization took me, I enjoyed a wonderfully glorious kiss, but then, I was pushing on him. 

 “What are you doing?” I said with a laugh. “I have to go.” 

 Arching an eyebrow, Korix said, “Do you now?” 

 Skin slid against skin, and I sucked in a gasp. Frozen, I licked my lips, picking through hazy thoughts, while Korix twisted his lips into a teasing grin. 

 “We’ll have to be quick,” I said. 

 Korix beamed as he lowered his head to mine. 

 “That can be arranged,” he said. 

 Later, when I was getting dressed, he watched me, lounging where I’d left him. After a moment of contemplation, he leaned forward. 

 “I hear that you’ve been working in Cerullis’ ranks,” he said. “Should I expect trouble from that House again?” 

 Cocking my head, I slowed my fingers down on my buttons. Korix didn’t usually ask about my missions, content to stay out of Lokke Vitras business now that it was no longer his problem. 

 “No, Cerullis isn’t the issue, just one of their members,” I said. “Why?” 

 Shaking his head, Korix collapsed backward. 

 “No reason,” he said. “What do you think of their new shukusen? Is she…?” 

 Trailing off, Korix pursed his lips, probably thinking of the best way to end that question. 

 “Shukusen Sanya seems decent, which is rare among the higher-ups,” I said. “I actually like her to a degree, and that’s saying something.” 

 For some reason, that made Korix smile. 

 “So, she’s handling her new position well?” he asked. 

 Itching to get out the door, I glanced toward it. 

 “Um… she didn’t do so well at first, but she’s getting the hang of it,” I said. “I need to-” 

 “I know,” Korix said. “Get out of here, and please. Be safe.” 

 “I’ll do my best.” 

 Once I’d left the house, I walked across the moors toward where I’d left my skycruiser, marveling at how much lighter I felt. In many ways, Leski and Korix were a drug that was as addictive as slicing myself open. 

 Speaking of that, I should discuss it with Leski at some point. If Korix had found it upsetting enough to get as emotional as he had, I could only imagine how it had impacted her. In fact, once I was on my way to Xygek, I’d send her a message about it. I had no idea what to say, but I’d figure it out. 

 Soon enough, I reached my skycruiser, and as it climbed into the clouds, a hook in my heart ripped free, stealing the piece of me that would always belong to my partners as it went, but it was necessary. I should speak with Pheniks, and when I did, I hoped he had a clue for me because I needed to wrap up this mission. Sometime in the next two weeks, my family’s new child would be ours. I had to be there when we welcomed them home.

Chapter 33: ...Brothers
When I reached House Kolb’s headquarters, I entered as if I belonged, even with my status declaring me a member of Cerullis. Not many people would be here, so changing to my ‘true’ affiliation seemed like too much work, much like sneaking through the place would have been. 

 Having left my skycruiser in the park, I strode with purpose to the lobby’s lifts, ignoring the stares directed my way. As I came closer, two Kolb members started strolling to intercept me. I waited for as long as I could before putting on a burst of House Kolb speed, avoiding them by a sliver of a second. If I was to reach Pheniks before Talira could stop me, I needed to eke every moment out of my anonymity, such as it were. Walking through headquarters as a Cerullis member might have tipped her off to my presence, but my display of this technique would alert her in an instant. 

 The Kolb members I’d avoided made surprised sounds behind me, and setting a floor on the control, I stepped into the lift. It shot me toward the House’s unplaced apartments, and from there, it wasn’t far to the one Pheniks had been assigned.  

 After I’d entered, I barricaded the door to the best of my ability. Even still, I doubted it would keep my grandmother out for long, but it would delay her, at the least. 

 With nothing else to distract me, I couldn’t ignore the swarm of butterflies in my stomach. One room away from me, Pheniks was sleeping with each of his snores loud in an otherwise silent apartment, and I was here because I needed to make things right with him. He’d never trust me as he once had, but I needed him to forgive me. I needed him to be ok with moving on. As I ghosted into the apartment’s bedroom, though, I prepared myself for a total rejection.  

 For a few heartbeats, I stood at the foot of his bed, just… watching him sleep, but then, I moved to the side. 

 “Phen,” I said. 

 Wait. Could I still use my brother’s nickname? 

 “Pheniks,” I said, slightly louder. 

 When I rested my fingers on his arm, he shifted, unintelligibly murmuring, and with a sigh, I shook him. As soon as he was disrupted from sleep, I backed off, hoping to keep him from panicking. 

 My efforts didn’t help much. As soon as my brother opened his eyes, he went stiff before plastering himself against the headboard. I didn’t say anything, aware that he’d find my voice more intimidating than the quiet, but soon enough, recognition set in, and he relaxed with his nose wrinkling. 

 “What are you doing here?” he said. “And…” 

 He flicked his eyes to the side, probably checking the time, before returning his glare to me. 

 “It’s three in the fucking morning! What the hell?” 

 Yeah… that was about what I'd expected. Unfortunately, I had yet to decide how I’d reply to this outburst, and faced with its necessity now, I was left scrambling, ratcheting through options, while Pheniks tapped a finger on his leg. Eventually, he clicked his tongue. 

 “If you have nothing to say, you should get out,” he snapped. “What made you think I want-?” 

 “I’m sorry,” I interrupted. “I betrayed your trust. Didn’t protect you when I should have, and yes, I may have done those things because of this hated role I’ve taken, but it was still wrong. I’m sorry for it, Pheniks.” 

 For a split second, my brother seemed frozen in place, but then, he was looking down his nose at me. 

 “What do you expect me to say to that?” he asked. “‘It’s ok, Zae. I understand why you ruined my life. Now, everything can return to normal’? That’s not going to happen.” 

 After taking a steadying breath, I said, “I don’t expect it to. I’m hoping that you’ll let us repair our relationship, but you can say or do anything you like to me, although I’d point out that your life hardly looks ruined.” 

 “Are you kidding me?” 

 Pheniks puffed up, lunging toward me. 

 “I’m stuck in the headquarters of another House, away from my work, and the few friends I had think I’m a traitor!” he snapped. “How is my life not ruined?” 

 Was… he… serious? He thought this was bad? 

 “Pheniks. You’re about to become the head of your House, a position that you asked for,” I said, barely keeping my voice calm. “Considering what you did, you deserve much worse than a months-long house arrest.” 

 With a laugh, my brother crossed his arms. 

 “We’ve covered this. I didn’t want to break the Concords-” he started. 

 “Which is admirable and the only reason you haven’t been exiled,” I interrupted again, unable to keep quiet. “Even still, you did something wrong, and you should suffer the consequences for it. I certainly have for my own misdeed.” 

 “And I suppose you think that gives you the right to judge me,” Pheniks said. 

 “No! Mother Time, no. I just-” 

 Breaking off, I scrubbed at my eyes, suddenly tired beyond measure. 

 “I came here for two reasons,” I said. “One was to apologize and beg for you to talk to me. I can’t stand being cut off from you.” 

 Seconds crawled by while Pheniks decided what to say. At this point, I was certain that rejection would be mine, so when my brother’s face softened, I was suspicious that an ulterior motive lay behind it. 

 “I haven’t liked it either,” he said. “Over the past six months, I could have used your advice far too often, and… much as I’ve been furious, I’ve also missed you.” 

 Oh, thank Mother Time. 

 “I’ve missed you too,” I said. 

 I didn’t know what to add to that, though. I wasn’t sure how I should act around him now, whether casually or not. 

 After an awkward pause, Pheniks said, “You said you have two reasons for being here?” 

 Hell. I’d barely gained my brother’s tentative forgiveness. How could I ruin that by prying his secrets out of him? I had other ways of getting the information I needed, and sure, they’d take time…  

 But that was time I didn’t have. My child. They were why I was doing this. I had to be there for them. 

 Even still, I wouldn’t be careless with how I questioned my brother. 

 Gesturing at the foot of the bed, I asked, “May I sit?” 

 “Go ahead.” 

 While I got comfortable, Pheniks shifted in place with his body language alternating between curious and piqued. Fuck, this would be a shit show. Folding my hands in my lap, I Took a deep breath. 

 “I’ve been in deep cover for the last six months, identifying the person who requested your neurotoxin from House Zan,” I said. “I’m sure you know this.” 

 Pheniks nodded. 

 “How informed has our grandmother kept you about my investigation?”  

 Shrugging, Pheniks said, “Not very, but then, I’ve been preoccupied with my own life.” 

 “That’s understandable, and perhaps when I’m free to do so, I can help you with your problems, if you’re inclined to allow it,” I said, “but that’s not why I’m here. I need your help, and trust me, I realize how much you should laugh in my face right now.” 

 Who asked someone they’d wronged for help? 

 “Ok…?” Pheniks said. “Why don’t you tell me what you need? I can decide for myself whether I’ll refuse you.” 

 Oh, I really didn’t want to do this. 

 With my heart in my throat, I said, “If you’ve learned any more information about my target since gaining your new position, I need to know about it. I wouldn’t ask this of you, but… my child’s handoff is coming in the next two weeks. If I can manage it, I’d like to be there, and I know how selfish it is of me to do this-” 

 “It’s not selfish, you dumbass!” Pheniks said, rolling his eyes. “Getting a kid from Drav is a big deal! I wouldn’t deprive you of it, even if you were my worst enemy.” 

 For a split second, the room and my brother’s face blurred before I could get ahold of myself. 

 “Thank you,” I said. 

 Shaking his head, Pheniks said, “It won’t be as much trouble as you might think. I planned on sharing this information with Talira sometime in the next few days.” 

 Speaking of our grandmother, why hadn’t she made an appearance yet? I’d thought for sure that she’d be here by now, but for the moment, that didn’t matter. 

 “I’ve sent you the relevant information,” Pheniks continued. “You can review it while I talk.” 

 As he’d said, a new message had popped into my array, and I opened its attachment while he moved on. 

 “I won’t lie. As soon as I gained access to Arion’s data, I went hunting for clues about who’d started this series of events. I’m not sure what I was planning to do if I found any, whether that would have been exacting my own punishment or not, but I decided against it.” 

 Which was a relief. If betraying my brother’s trust had broken me as much as it had, I didn’t want to consider what truly hurting him would do to me. 

 I couldn’t give that idea much thought, however. After looking over what Pheniks had provided, I had an idea of who our culprit might be, and if I was right, I wanted to smack myself for not figuring it out earlier. 

 “As you can see, I eventually located the correspondences that passed between Arion and your target,” Pheniks said. “They were well hidden, to the point that I can’t blame whoever trawled through Arion’s data for missing them, but I still found them for myself. Unfortunately, I couldn’t pull identifying information from the conversation, which is saying something. I’m pretty good a dragging traces of a message’s sender from it, but these must have gone through at least a dozen proxies. Whatever trace was left on them has been long buried.” 

 Fortunately for me, that didn’t matter. The diction and word choice in half of these messages were ones I’d seen before. It wasn’t definitive proof, but with it, I had a lead to follow, one that based on previous experience, should pan out in a day or two. 

 “I’m sorry. I know it’s not much,” Pheniks said. “Hopefully, it’s enough to get you started, though.” 

 “It’s more than enough. Thank you.” 

 Leaning forward, I lightly touched his knee. 

 “You’ve cracked this case open for me.” 

 “I’m… glad,” Pheniks tightly said. 

 He flicked his eyes between my face and my hand, and I removed my hand. This hadn’t fixed things between us. I should have remembered that, but I hadn’t.  

 It was a start, though. Now, I needed to build on it. 

 “Once this chaos has died down, I should have some free time,” I said. “May I visit again? I’d like to help with your transition.” 

 Looking away, Pheniks said, “I don’t see why not. It’s the least you could do.” 

 His words might have been harsh, but I saw his faint smile, and that loosened the knot in my chest. 

 “Of course,” I said, “and… after my partners and I bring our child home, I wondered if you’d visit? The kid would love to meet their uncle.” 

 Pheniks jerked his head to me with a sharp glance. 

 “They’ll be a baby! They won’t even know who I am!” he said before softening. “But yes, I’ll swing by when I have a moment.” 

 At that, I grinned like a fool. I couldn’t help it. This confrontation had gone better than I’d expected, and perhaps seeing my relief, Pheniks rolled his eyes. 

 “Shouldn’t you be acting on the information I gave you?” he said. “I’d like to get some sleep.” 

 “Yes, that’s wise,” I said, getting off of the bed. “Thank you for this. Truly.” 

 Crossing his arms, Pheniks slouched. 

 “It wasn’t a big deal,” he said. 

 “I was to me,” I said. “Good night… Phen.” 

 Perhaps he’d heard the hesitation in my voice because while I walked away, my brother might fling the covers back over himself, but he also tossed a reassurance at me. 

 “Yes, good night, Zae,” he said. “Mother Time, what an idiot brother.” 

 I chuckled at that, but when I exited the apartment and saw my grandmother waiting for me outside, the noise stopped in my throat. Talira looked… I didn’t know how to describe it. Pleased, yet exceedingly annoyed? Her face was bright red, but her eyes were shining. 

 “Walk with me,” she snapped. 

 So, this was where she’d been. Why had she waited for me to finish with Pheniks instead of storming into that room to stop our conversation? 

 When she took off, I meekly followed her, not that I could do much else. It didn’t take her long to speak. 

 “What are you doing?” she hissed. 

 Glancing at her, I said, “My job?” 

 No matter what other comebacks I might have for her, I kept them to myself. When Talira got like this, it was best to play cautiously, if one wasn’t letting emotions cloud their focus, of course. 

 “You’ve broken deep cover,” Talira said. “Broken it more than you should have and before your mission’s complete. Why?” 

 I let loose a small sigh. 

 “I wasn’t getting anywhere with the methods I was taking, and despite what you and Feena might think, I’m aware of how concerning my behavior has become lately,” I said. “I was looking for a way to finish this mission so I can take part in a spell of much-needed rest.” 

 Stopping short, Talira spun on me. 

 “So, you admit that going on this mission was a mistake?” 

 With a nod, I said, “Readily.” 

 Talira must have expected me to deny it because while she opened her mouth, nothing emerged from it. After a moment of silence, I clasped my hands in front of me. 

 “Is there anything else, my shukusen?” I said. “I have things to do.” 

 Making a face, Talira rubbed it. 

 “Why do you make my life so difficult?” she said through her hands. 

 “That’s not my intention,” I said. 

 With an explosive sigh, Talira lowered her hands. 

 “I’m glad you and your brother have made up. He’s been a pain in my ass for months,” she said, “but you’re right. Go on, then! Bring me the man who’s made our last few months hell.” 

 So, she’d drawn the same conclusions as me. When had she plucked Pheniks’ data out of my array? 

 With a smile, I bowed to my grandmother. 

 “As my shukusen says.” 

 But then, I was off. We had nothing more to say to one another, and someone who’d broken the Concords required my attention. 

 Fortunately for him, he’d get a short stay of punishment. After all, I had to find definitive proof of his guilt before going after him.

Chapter 34: On the Hunt
When I reached Feena’s apartment, I entered it without announcing my presence. 

 “Get dressed, dear sister,” I called. “We have places to be.” 

 With a snort, Feena lifted herself out of her bed’s sheets, but when her bleary eyes focused on me, she groaned, burying her face in her pillows. I listened to the unintelligible mumbling that followed with amusement. 

 “What was that now?” I said. “I didn’t catch it through so many layers of cloth.” 

 Slapping both palms on the bed, Feena shot upright. 

 “I s aid, what the hell, Zae?” she snapped. 

 “Hey, you told me you were right next door if I needed you,” I said before shrugging one shoulder. “I need you.” 

 With her eyes narrowed, Feena said, “I meant for you to come find me if you needed help getting through a rough spot, and you look the opposite of unstable. So, what’s going on?” 

 My half-smile became a full-blown smirk. 

 “I have a lead,” I said. 

 After blinking at me for a moment, Feena leapt out of bed before gathering her clothes. 

 “Why didn’t you lead with that, asshole?” she said. “I swear. You always make things so much more difficult.” 

 Chuckling, I turned aside while my sister got dressed, and once she was done, she punched my shoulder while passing me. I rubbed the offended spot as I followed her, but once we were outside, I took the lead. 

 Trotting beside me, Feena drawled, “So…?” 

 With a thought, I sent her everything that Pheniks had given me. 

 “Look familiar?” 

 I wasn’t sure she’d recognize what I’d seen. After all, she might not have read the messages needed for answering me yet. 

 Clicking her tongue, Feena said, “Harvel. Of course. How did we not consider him as a suspect?” 

 “I did, actually, but after a cursory investigation, I ruled him out because he’s Fifth Stratus. I’m not looking down on him when I say that. It’s just… most of the time, a shukusen wouldn’t take someone of his Stratus seriously, not when it comes to crimes this momentous,” I said. “And you shouldn’t condemn him yet, Feena. We don’t have definitive proof that he’s guilty, just a lot of suggestive messages.” 

 “You’re right, of course,” Feena said.  

 We continued in silence for quite a bit more, but as we approached Harvel’s apartment, my sister jerked around to face me. 

 “How did you get so many of a shukusen’s messages, Zae?” she said. “You haven’t had enough time to steal them so… did you see our brother tonight? You said that wouldn’t happen for a while.” 

 As she scanned me, gnawing on her lip, I laughed. 

 “Relax. I’m fine,” I said, “and as for what you’re really asking, everything’s ok. Phen’s planning to visit me after my kid comes home, which will be sometime in the next two weeks.” 

 When Feena stopped short, I continued for a few paces before glancing over my shoulder at her. My sister had her gaze pinned to the platform beneath her feet, flexing and relaxing her hands. 

 “That’s why you’re in such a rush,” she said. 

 Cocking my head, I said, “Yes? If Harvel is our target and we bring him in tonight, I can go home. I can be with Leski and Ko when we get to hold our baby for the first time.” 

 Taking a sipping gasp, Feena lifted tear-filled eyes to me, and I furrowed my brow. How could anything I’d said have upset her? She rushed me, ignoring the prick of a dagger’s tip against her back when she engulfed me in a hug. 

 “Congratulations!” she said. 

 Slowly, she twisted me back and forth before releasing me, although she maintained her grip on my arms. 

 “I know why they told me to help you now,” she said. “Come on! Let’s finish this.”  

 Clapping my arms, she hurried off, but following her took me far too long, caught in my stunned state as I was. Feena hadn’t mentioned her role as a Chosen for months, and with how often I’d set aside thinking about it, this reference to it had me reeling. A long-forgotten voice let loose a shriek inside— 

 My sister’s going to die! 

 —and I shut it down with difficulty. Swallowing hard, I spun to race after her. 

 When we reached Harvel’s apartment, I knew something was wrong. The door had been left gaping, and when we stepped inside, I noted the knickknacks that had been knocked askew and the drawers left hanging open. 

 “Well, this doesn’t look good,” Feena said. 

 She already had her rifle in her hand while I was loosely holding some tranquilizer darts. If possible, we should bring Harvel in alive. Whether or not he was our culprit, he should be questioned, either about his behavior or to learn if he’d developed the neurotoxin on his own. If he hadn't , we needed to locate his compatriots. If he had, we’d need to know where he might have hidden any stashes of the neurotoxin. 

 Unfortunately, as we moved through the apartment, I concluded that capturing my target would take a while. His place was empty with the interiors of cabinets bared for all the world to see, and one section of the washroom’s floor was covered in glass. After we’d made sure that we were alone, Feena and I holstered our weapons. 

 “Someone left in a hurry,” she said. 

 With my lips drawn tight, I nodded. Damn. I’d sincerely hoped that we’d be finished with this soon. 

 “Look for any clues about where he’s gone,” I said.  

 Glancing at me, Feena said, “Really, Zae? Is that what we’re supposed to do next?” 

 But she smiled as she moved into the living room. I went looking for a storecase. It was unlikely that Harvel had left his escape plans on it, but we’d need the data on it either way. Better to pull it before starting my own search. 

 Finding the man’s study didn’t take me long, but when I stood in its threshold, I hesitated. Earlier, I’d only glanced in here, checking for hostiles, but now that I was paying attention, various alarms around the room’s perimeter, including one that was meant to alert its owner to a rifle’s formation, were obvious. 

 “This keeps getting better and better,” I said. 

 After bypassing the alarms, I stepped into the study, examining it with a keener eye. This was why I noticed the reduction of the room’s size. Most apartments across Xygek were cookie-cutter in nature, and I was familiar with the majority of their floor plans, which was how I knew this study’s back wall was a meter and a half too close to the door. 

 “Feena!” I called. 

 I was searching for something that would open a hidden compartment when my sister caught herself on the doorframe, out of breath. 

 “What is it?” she said. 

 Pointing at the desk, I said, “Can you comb through his storecase, please? I didn’t think he’d hide anything useful on it, but if he’s using such an obvious hiding spot, he might have- yes!” 

 When I put pressure on an indentation at ankle level, the suspect wall dissipated, much like a rifle would. Behind it, several vats, similar in style to the ones I’d found in House Zan’s headquarters, sat. Unwilling to jump to conclusions, I rested my fingers on one of the vat’s readouts, but when it lit up, my heart again flipflopped between the clouds and the bowels of the earth, exactly like it had the first time I’d read this combination of characters and numbers. Among other prompts and menus, the chemical formula that had started this months-long catastrophe waited to be viewed. 

 “There you are,” I said. 

 Now, we only needed to find Fifth Stratus Harvel and alert Talira, and finally, finally, I could take a break. 

 “Got something,” Feena said. “I think.” 

 When I turned on her, she was frowning at a hand-held monitor. 

 “What do you mean ‘you think’?” I asked. 

 “I mean…” 

 Sighing through her nose, Feena glanced up at me. 

 “Doesn’t this seem a little too easy?” she said. “We go six damn months without a clue, and now, we have that—” 

 She waved at the vats. 

 “—and this.” 

 Inclining her head toward the monitor, Feena extended it to me, and taking it, I glanced over what she had pulled up. Apparently, Harvel had reserved a cabin the Barasgami Mountains for the next year, starting tomorrow morning. After copying the location to my array, I dropped the display onto the desk with a thunk. 

 “Honestly, Feena? I don’t care how easy this was,” I said. “I plan to bring Harvel in and take a much-needed month off. If after that, Talira tells me that she has concerns with what we’ve unearthed tonight, I’ll happily look into it further, but not until I get my head on straight. Ok?” 

 Making a face, Feena said, “Yeah. Yeah! I’m sorry, Zae. I just-” 

 “Don’t apologize. You have good instincts,” I said, “but we have one of the few people that I’m actually eager to bring in out there. Shall we ruin his morning?” 

 With a fierce smile, Feena said, “Let’s.” 

 Which was how we found ourselves in a skycruiser above the mountains an hour later. We landed a kilometer from the cabin, spreading out when our feet hit the pine needles spread across the ground. 

 If Feena and I hadn’t been here on a mission, I might have enjoyed moving through these trees more. With the sun starting a first blush in the sky and a chill breeze rustling through the leaves, this place made for a nice setting, somewhere I might like to spend time alone. Hopefully, we wouldn’t have to introduce violence to it. 

 While making our approach, Feena and I scrunched closer to the ground while I had my array make out the cabin’s interior for me. The occupant’s heat signature placed him near the structure’s front door, sitting on something, and from the noises I could hear, he was watching a holodrama. 

 Meeting Feena’s eyes, I said in sub-vocals, “Secure the back door.” 

 Nodding, she disappeared behind the cabin, and I made my way to the window closest to my quarry. Halfway there, however, Harvel got to his feet, strolling toward the washroom near the foyer. He couldn’t have seen me or Feena. We’d been careful while approaching, and I’d have noticed any traps that he’d set to trigger. Right? 

 It didn’t matter. All that had changed was where I’d intercept my target, so I adjusted my path accordingly. As I crept to the front door, though, Harvel broke into a sprint, coming right at me. He was close enough that I barely had time to request my rifle before a sheet of metal slid to the side, and he nearly bowled me over. How the hell had he known where I was? 

 By the time I’d recovered my balance, Harvel was already in the trees. Mother Time, he was a fast fucker. 

 “Feena, runner!” I shouted before sprinting after him. 

 As he fled, Harvel left behind plenty of markers, which made tracking him all the easier. It was a nice change of pace, considering I’d never liked relying on my array to hunt down a target. Given his recklessness, I should have him in custody within the hour, despite his early detection of Feena and me. 

 Where was my sister? She should have caught up with me by now. I gave that question cursory attention before focusing on the chase.  

 House Kolb speed aided me with this, but I could only use it in bursts. Anything longer and I’d have to enter a thoughtless state, which wasn’t conducive toward anything intellectual. Like tracking. 

 Consumed by the need to find this bastard and get him to Xygek, I almost didn’t notice the request for connection when it popped into my array. I thought about ignoring it. Considering it was from Talira, though, I didn’t have much of a choice in the matter. 

 “What?” I snapped once I’d accepted. 

 “My, someone’s testy,” Talira said. “Did I catch you at a bad time?” 

 Vaulting over a fallen tree, I said, “Chasing down my suspect right now, shukusen.” 

 “Oh. Maybe I shouldn’t tell you my news, then. Save it for later,” Talira said. “How much longer will you be?” 

 “Maybe an hour,” I hissed through gritted teeth. 

 “Hmm.” 

 Dodging a low-hanging branch, I contained my irritation while she decided what to do, and soon enough, she sighed. 

 “This can’t wait that long,” Talira said. “First, though, you should know that Ko told me about your visit with him and Leski last night. Why did you ask me to enforce your damn rules if you plan on flouting them like that?” 

 “I needed to ask a question,” I said. “Did your request a connection just to berate me, shukusen? If so, can it wait until-?” 

 “No, you impatient ass. The news I have for you is about the question that you asked them,” Talira said. “A House Drav member contacted Leski about five minutes ago. They’re ready to hand off your kid. Your partners are on their way to Drav’s headquarters now.” 

 With my breath hitching, I had to slow down if I didn’t want to fall. Today? Really? Why did it have to be today? 

 “Zaeden?” Talira said. 

 And I realized that she’d said my name a few times. 

 “Understood,” I said. “Is there anything else, or can I finish this mission?” 

 With another sigh, Talira said, “There’s nothing else. Good luck, my Lokke Vitras.” 

 The connection cut. 

 So. Despite all my efforts, my worst fear for these past six months would be realized. I wouldn’t be there when my child was welcomed into the family. I wouldn’t see Korix or Leski’s faces when a House Drav member relinquished our baby into their arms. I wouldn’t look at that small face and kiss their tiny palms, knowing that this precious life was, in part, mine to love and guide. 

 I was so distracted by these thoughts that I didn’t see Feena until she was careening into my side. Tripping, we fell to the forest floor, rolling to spread the impact, but once my momentum had slowed, I was on my feet, ready to rip into my sister. 

 Or I was ready to do that until I saw the tripwire that was strung between two nearby trees, one that was set to drop a grenade. A trap? Mother Time, how prepared had Harvel been for us? 

 Then, I had to consider how I’d let myself get so careless that it had almost gotten me killed. 

 “Be careful, Zae!” Feena panted, still not the ground. 

 Without a word, I offered her a hand, hauling her to her feet, and we took off once more. 

 This needed to be done. I couldn’t be defeatist, thinking that my chances of a happy ending were gone. While there was still hope that I could reach Xygek on time, I would fight to get there, and damn the odds.

Chapter 35: This'll Be a Rush Job
Harvel just would not make this easy for me. 

 I had to give him credit. He’d most definitely been prepared for House Kolb to come after him, which was less common than one would think. A surprising number of fugitives thought they’d get away with their crimes. This man kept leading me and Feena into traps that he must have set a while ago. There was no way he could have lain so many of them between getting here earlier and when we’d arrived. All of which meant that our pursuit of him became a series of hopping skips. 

 I careened to a stop, throwing an arm in front of Feena, when I noted an incongruous pile of fallen leaves ahead of us, one that was probably hiding a pit or a pressure plate. After half an hour of this, we’d reached a part of the mountain where trees had become clumps instead of a sprawl, soon to fade into craggy cliffs. I was curious why our quarry had laid a trap here, where it would be more easily spotted, especially after the cunning that he’d shown to this point, but not enough to question it. 

 “This is becoming tiresome,” I said, “and I need to get to Xygek.” 

 Resting her hands on her hips, Feena glanced at me. 

 “What are you going to do about it?” she said. 

 What would I do about it? If I was to return to the capital on time, I couldn’t keep going like this. 

 Making a face, I said, “I have a fix on his trajectory. You stay on his heel. I’ll take a shorter path to get ahead of him, and you can drive him to me.” 

 With a nod, Feena said, “Sounds good.” 

 So, I veered to the side, hoping that Harvel wouldn’t deviate from his path, while she continued on. Trusting myself to a thoughtless state, I was in position within a few minutes, and as soon as I was ready, I requested a connection with my sister. 

 “You see my location?” I asked when it established. 

 “Yup,” she said. “Getting close. Maybe another three minutes.” 

 “All right,” I said. “Keep the connection open, please.” 

 “Mmhmm.” 

 For a while, I listened to her run while making a habitual check of my weapons. Soon enough, though, Feena’s array showed her approaching me, so I fell still, ready for any violence that might ensue. 

 It came earlier than I’d expected. The zap of an energy bolt filled the connection between me and my sister, followed by a thud and nothing else. Not even her heavily gasped breathing. 

 As prickling apprehension raced from my belly to my extremities, I said, “Feena? What was that?” 

 The connection cut, and while dumbly staring at the place where the marker of its existence had once lain in my array, a persistent roar filled my ears and mind, strangling logical thought. The only words that defeated this haze were ones spoken by Korix, months ago. 

 Every Chosen I’ve known has died before their time. Horribly. 

 Harvel stepped into view between two boulders, and slipping on pebbles, he stopped, leaning on his knees. When I stepped out from behind a stone, he whipped his head to me, and I again wondered how he’d known where I was. 

 “Lokke Vitras!” he shouted. 

 Raising my rifle, I shot a clean hole through the center of his forehead, and his body crumpled, rolling in the loose stones beneath it. 

 Yes, I should have captured him so House Kolb could conduct an interrogation, making sure that this neurotoxin was wiped from existence, but at the moment, I had no concern for the future. All I saw was a chemical formula that would have wreaked so much suffering. All I was considering was how this man had kept me from my family in a time when they’d needed me. All I heard was the absolute silence that was only heard in a connection with someone who’d just joined the Collective. 

 I paused at the corpse long enough to mark its location for retrieval, but then, I was racing for the tree line. Before we’d lost contact, Feena’s array had placed her in front of it, and that was where I found her. 

 Evidence of the energy bolt that had hit her had cleaved through her chest while the blood from an unseared vein was soaking the stone beneath her. It was one of the worst chest wounds I’d seen in a while, and Feena was lucky that it had landed where it had. 

 Glaring up at me, she gasped, “What—” 

 With a wince, she turned to the side so she can spit out a mouthful of blood. 

 “—are you doing… here?” she finished. 

 Crossing my arms, I said, “Making sure you’re all right. Have you given yourself enough of those?” 

 I nodded at the hypos sticking out of her thigh. 

 When she weakly nodded, I continued, “And emergency services are on their way?” 

 Again, she nodded, and lowering my arms, I released a long sigh. 

 “Ok,” I said. “I’ll trust that you know what you’re doing, then. When I can, I'll bring my kid to see you in recovery.” 

 With a smile, Feena said, “Go.” 

 So, I did. I’d never used House Kolb for something personal before. The ability was too dangerous to justify doing that, but today, danger could be damned. 

 I was at the skycruiser within four minutes, and perhaps a single breath passed between me flinging myself into it and it rising off of the ground. As it gained altitude, I swept through the processes that regulated how fast it could move, disabling then. Because of this, when the skycruiser picked up speed, it accelerated so quickly that it slammed me into my seat. 

 I stayed plastered there throughout the trip to Xygek, gritting my teeth at the pressure on my body all the while, but enduring this discomfort proved itself worthwhile. A flight that would have normally taken an hour was compressed into twenty minutes. 

 As soon as the capital’s towers blocked out the sky, my skycruiser reduced its speed so suddenly that it might have tossed me through the front window if I hadn’t been ready to catch myself on the console, and during the agonizingly slow ride to the center of the city, I jittered my leg, staring with fixation at a map that was tracking my position. I had the skycruiser moving forward with all possible speed, but here, with so many people going about their business, careening thoughtlessly forward wasn’t safe, and I was loath to abuse my status as the Lokke Vitras to disturb the average citizen’s day, even for something like this. 

 I’d, of course, sent messages to both my partners and shukusen Marza when leaving the Barasgami Mountains, letting them know I was on my way, but I doubted anyone in House Drav would delay today’s proceedings for me. The general consensus among Lutov’s population was that if someone couldn’t drop everything for an event like this, then they didn’t deserve to be a part of it. Sometimes, this could lead to the promised child being adopted out to another family, but usually, it meant the child was sent to their parents’ home, staining them and the kid with shame. 

 Fortunately, when we’d turned in our application, my partners and I had worked out an agreement with Marza to mitigate this.  Considering who I was and what my job entailed, she would allow handoff if I was absent, but only if both Korix and Leski were present, not that I’d ever wanted that to happen. House Kolb members and anyone loosely associated with them knew better than to ignore worst case scenarios, though, preparing for them instead. 

 When the sea of towers around me opened to the empty air above the center of Xygek, I took control of the skycruiser, guiding it toward House Drav’s headquarters, which was of course, on the other side of the fucking park. I wondered how many people looked up at the skycruiser that was streaking by overhead, nearly skimming the roof of Acceptance Arena. 

 While coming up on my goal, I spied a pair of familiar people waiting at the tower’s doors, and the kernel in my chest loosened. Even still, after the skycruiser had landed, I stumbled out of it, nearly falling on my ass, and while straightening my clothes, I bolted for Leski and Korix, not giving a single shit about the started looks directed my way. 

 As I approached, my life partner looked me over. 

 “That’s one way to break deep cover,” he said. 

 Then, I was on them, pulling the loves of my life to me, and while catching my breath, I ignored the manic laughter that was pouring out of me. Soon enough, I pulled away. 

 “Shouldn’t you be inside?” I said. “Considering how helpful Marza’s been throughout this process, she probably won’t appreciate any delay on our part.” 

 “Relax. Being a couple of minutes late won’t hurt anything, and you look like you need them,” Leski said, brushing hair out of my eyes. “You look horrid, love: disheveled, unshaven, dirt-streaked…” 

 Making a face, I said, “Literally just finished my mission. I didn’t have time to change.” 

 “So, you caught your target?” Korix asked. 

 When I nodded, he grinned, making me shiver. 

 “I knew you could do it,” he said, “barely scraping by with it too. Sounds familiar.” 

 “He does like to keep us guessing, doesn’t he?” Leski said with a smirk. 

 Rolling my eyes, I grabbed them about the waist, ushering them toward the doors. 

 “Yes, yes. If you two could stop with the teasing, maybe we can get inside before Marza cancels our appointment.” 

 We headed inside.

Chapter 36: Welcome to the World
Once we were inside Drav’s headquarters, we headed for a receptionist, sitting behind a welcome desk. Guests from other Houses announced their presences there, getting the passes they’d need to access their destinations. When I visited these places, I usually ignored such stations, never needing what they provided, but when it came to this most delicate of undertakings, it was best to be polite. 

 Never looking up, the receptionist gruffly said, “Yes?” 

 Sometimes, though, keeping my rude comments to myself was a struggle, especially when I was already stressed. I was so grateful to my partners. When I opened my mouth to snap at this man, Korix squeezed my arm while Leski leaned on the desk, cupping her face. 

 “Hi there!” she said. “My partners and I received a message this morning. Apparently, our baby’s handoff is today?” 

 Grunting, the receptionist waved at us, keeping his eyes fixed on what had him occupied, and a map flashed into my array. 

 “Go to the highlighted room, and stay on your outlined path. Don’t make us escort you out on your special day,” he said, “and congratulations.” 

 Beaming, Leski said, “Thank you!” 

 Korix tugged me away, and only once we were free of the receptionist did I realize how much I’d bristled. 

 “I forgot how callous people from one House can be to those from another,” I growled. “I’m sorry you’ve had to put up with that.” 

 “Oh, don’t worry about it! Usually, Drav members are much more welcoming, nurturing even, which makes sense,” Leski said. “So, think nothing of it. Let’s just get where we need to be.” 

 Much as I might want to protest it, she was right, so I set my irritation aside, hurrying along the highlighted path. 

 I’d always found it strange that Drav, with its focus on population control, had a headquarters that more resembled Zan than Kirst, its complementary House. As we rushed down hallways, Korix, Leski, and I passed many a lab as well as several ‘warehouses’, full of petri dishes and carefully controlled test tubes. Every time I saw this, the sight of so many fetuses—potential humans waiting for approval to exist—made me shiver, although I could usually control the reaction. 

 Not so today. Today, I knew my child had floated in that viscous liquid for months longer than they should have, all because of who their parents were. 

 When we reached our indicated room, the House Drav member in it was shoving a handheld monitor into her bag, muttering under her breath. She jerked her head up when Korix cleared his throat. 

 Shooting a glare at us, she snapped, “You’re late.” 

 “Yes, and we apologize for that,” Korix said. “Some of us were coming from more remote locations than the rest, and we wanted to greet our newest family member as a single unit.” 

 With a frown, the House Drav member scanned us before relaxing and sitting behind the room’s counter. 

 “You’re lucky. I find that desire admirable. Others? Not so much,” she said. “Please, sit down.” 

 She gestured at the chairs on our side of the counter, and as we sat, I glanced at Leski and Korix. Had their hearts begun fluttering with anticipation? Mine had, but they looked exceedingly calm. I shouldn’t find that surprising, considering Korix had once held my position and Leski had been an exceptional operative in her time, but for some reason, I was barely holding it together. Why was I the only one who needed to flex his hands, releasing tension, right now? 

 “Right,” the House Drav member said. 

 She pulled a monitor back out of her bag while tucking her hair behind an ear. 

 “I’m Eighth Stratus Siva, and I’ll guide you through today’s procedure,” she said. “First, we’ll verify your identity to ensure proper handoff. I hope you can forgive this precaution. We want to make sure your progeny goes to the right people.” 

 While she smiled at us, I internally winced, knowing exactly why this precaution existed. Years ago, someone had gotten the sickeningly brilliant idea of using identity forgery to steal children from their parents. After all, given how tightly Drav controlled Lutov’s population, children were… a valuable commodity. 

 Hell, considering something like that made me sick to my stomach. 

 In any case, that incident had taken me little time to resolve—unsurprising given the focus I’d put into it—and afterward, I’d insisted that Drav put measures in place to ensure it never happened again. It was good to see they’d taken my urgings to heart. 

 “You’ll find that we’re more grateful than offended,” I said. 

 With her smile growing, Siva folded her hands on the counter. 

 “Good to hear,” she said. “As for the rest of this procedure! Once we have legal formalities out of the way, we’ll step into the room behind me—” 

 She inclined her head to the door at her back. 

 “—and I’ll bring your baby to you. Any questions?” 

 Each of us shook our heads. The procedure seemed simple enough. 

 “Excellent! Let’s get started, then,” Siva said, sliding the handheld monitor to us. “Place your thumb in the glowing circle. Your array may inform you that an outside source is accessing your designator. Please, don’t block it. We scan designators for our identity checks.” 

 “Understandable,” Korix said. 

 Reaching for the monitor, he let this Eighth Stratus have access to one of the most private pieces of a Lutovish’s life. This show of determination helped me when, once Leski had followed his example, I had to do the same. 

 As the thumbprint whirl of my designator returned me untampered with, I breathed out, letting tension leak from me, until the edges of the monitor turned red. Frowning, Siva retrieved the handheld monitor while I cocked my head. What could have upset it? 

 “Fourth Stratus Rylan?” she said, glancing at me. “I’m sorry. Out of respect for your privacy, I don’t know who you three are, but even with that, this alert tells me you aren’t approved for a child. Are you sure this man is your partner?” 

 Groaning, I slapped my face, working through what had happened. Mother Time, that had taken me far longer than it should have. After making the necessary changes, I gestured for the monitor. 

 “Here. Let it read me again,” I said. “I just finished a deep-cover mission, and in my rush to get here, I forgot to adjust my designator. My mistake.” 

 Jerking toward me, Korix said, “You forgot? Really?” 

 Clicking my tongue, I wiggled my fingers for the monitor while glancing at him. 

 “Yes, Ko. I forgot. You can lecture me about it later if you really think it’s necessary and…” I said before wincing. “Hell. That came out harsh. I’m sorry. Even given how stressed I’ve been, I shouldn’t-” 

 Resting his hand on my cheek, Korix patted it. 

 “It’s ok. I shouldn’t have said anything, all part of that teacher instinct you want me to discard,” he said. “Although perhaps we should focus elsewhere for now?” 

 “Preferably before Siva calls for someone to throw us out,” Leski hissed. “I swear. You two can be so distractible sometimes.” 

 When I faced Siva once more, she was clutching her handheld monitor to her chest while leaning away from us, clearly unsure what to do. 

 “I think… you should leave,” she said. “I’ll have the baby sent to its proper parents, but you three…” 

 She kept talking, and I watched her lips move, analyzing my options. Honestly, though? I only had one. 

 When I’d learned about the anonymity that this process provided, I’d been relieved. If news of our good luck had been broadcast across Xygek, I hadn’t wanted to learn what might happen when the Lokke Vitras emerged from House Drav’s headquarters with his family, including the littlest one. I hadn’t wanted that publicity, neither for the risk it might bring or for an impingement on this most private of affairs. 

 Faced with this, though, I had no choice but to banish our anonymity, not that I’d been doing a great job of maintaining it before. Even if Siva could avoid accruing shame on us when sending our child home, leaving now would mean a delay in something that we’d waited long enough for, something I’d fought too hard for. So, when Siva shifted in place, about to call for help, I raised a hand, presenting her with my palm. 

 “I wouldn’t do that, my dear,” I said with a sigh. “Check my shared status. If you still think that we should leave once you have, we’ll go without protest.” 

 While her eyes glazed over, I turned to my partners. 

 ‘Sorry,’ I mouthed. 

 They either smiled or shook their head before Leski claimed my arm, nuzzling it, and Korix ruffled my hair. I had one eye closed, grimacing, when Siva squeaked. Her mouth was open wide while her eyes had taken on a look I’d grown to hate. 

 Rolling mine, I said, “Yes, I’m the Lokke Vitras. Yes, you’re honored to meet me. I know.” 

 Leaning forward, I laid my hands on the counter, moving slowly so she didn’t spook. 

 “Siva. Right now, I’m just another nameless person, here for handoff,” I said. “I know it’s contradictory to everything you believe, but while I’m with you, I exist only for myself and my family. Please. For a spell, I need you to see me as just another man. Can you do that?” 

 Swallowing hard, Siva nodded, and I barely stopped myself from sighing. Despite her acknowledgment, she wouldn’t treat me as I’d requested. I’d met very few Lutovish who could, but hopefully, my entreaty would keep her functional until my family could leave this place. 

 Extending a hand, I said, “Monitor?” 

 She gave it to me, openly staring as I once more pressed my thumb where indicated. When I returned it to her, she barely glanced over it before returning her attention to me. 

 “Well?” I said after a moment. 

 Jumping, Siva blinked for a moment before shooting to her feet. 

 “Right,” she said. “If you’ll… if you’ll follow me.” 

 She swiped at the air, and the counter retracted into the wall while Siva wobbled to the door. We passed through it and into the room beyond, stepping into a space that had clearly been designed to induce a sense of comfort. 

 Three of the walls had been painted a soft blue color with wispy clouds near the ceiling, and the fourth was made entirely of windows, looking onto a courtyard with sunlight bouncing down to it. Brightly colored flowers dotted the grass, swaying between a pair of trees. 

 Inside, a small couch sat along the room’s perimeter, and as if tailored for us, one of Leski’s performances was filling the air. A holodrama plate rested in the center of the room while a pleasant scent smacked me in the face, making me aware of how awful I smelled. I couldn’t change that, though. 

 When Siva directed us to take a seat, we did, converging on the couch while she stayed on her feet. Folding her hands, she started to speak before choking on herself, but after a few more tries, she got her words out. 

 “I have no doubt that you’re anxious right now.” 

 Flicking her eyes to me, Siva frowned, as if confused, before continuing. 

 “I assure you. That’s normal,” she said. “It’s not, however, how you should greet your baby. While I’m retrieving them, you should find your center so you can be the comforting presence they’ll need. Once I return, you can have as much time here as you like before going home. If you need the stimulus, the holodrama plate has a few flics loaded onto it, and if you’d like to go outside, touch this indentation—” 

 She pointed to a spot beside the glass wall. 

 “—and the windows will retract. Within the next week, you’ll need to file pertinent details, such as a name, with Drav’s records department, but then, you’ll be done with us. I’ve already asked this, but if you have any questions, now will be your last chance to ask them.” 

 After glancing at us, Leski said, “We’re good, thank you.” 

 “Very well,” Siva said. “I’ll return soon, then.” 

 Bowing to us, she walked through a door, leaving us in silence, but none of us broke it. I didn’t know about my partners, but I couldn’t speak because of the storm of butterflies in my stomach. Shifting in place, I played with the hem of my shirt, and this, the first quiet moment I’d had this morning, was when I was hit by how lost I was about… all of this. 

 “Has Drav told you whether we have a daughter or a son?” I asked. “The tradition of waiting to find that out may have carried over from the time of the pre-Founding nations but…” 

 Taking my hand, Korix stopped my rambling. 

 “No, we don’t know yet,” he said. 

 “Ok,” I muttered. 

 And I tried to keep my mouth shut. I tried to give them the time that they might need to conquer their own anxiety, but more quickly than they should have, my retained questions had me popping to my feet so I could pace. 

 “Have you thought of a name yet?” I said. “What am I thinking? Of course you have.” 

 Without thinking about it, I started chewing on a thumbnail. I knew how unhygienic and unappealing that habit was, but when I noticed what I was doing, I couldn’t stop it. Also, the room was starting to sway. Did no one else see that? 

 “What about how we’ll handle having a baby with who I am? How will we keep them safe?” I said. “I’ve missed so much of the planning for this. Just the damn planning. How much will I miss in the future? Mother Time, applying for a kid was an insane decision. We should have-” 

 Someone snatched my wrist, stopping me short, and I glanced at my wife. 

 With a smile, she said, “Sit down, Zaeden.” 

 I did as she’d asked—of course I did—but I couldn’t stop moving. If I held myself still, the energy inside of me would build, and if it spilled over, I didn’t know what would happen. I imagined it wouldn’t be good, considering how much my chest was already aching. 

 Taking hold of my shoulders, Korix forced me to sit back, keeping his hand behind my neck once I was there. 

 Kneading it, he said, “Panic attack?” 

 Sucking in a breath, I froze before nodding. That was what was happening. 

 “Hell, I haven’t had one of those in decades,” I said. 

 Which explained why I hadn’t recognized the signs. How did I calm one of these down again?  

 That was right. Take a deep breath in and breathe it out. And repeat. 

 “Don’t worry, my love,” Leski said. “Ko and I have been ready for this for weeks. Until you catch up, we can handle anything you can’t do.” 

 With a laugh, I said, “So, you’re not worried right now?” 

 “Oh, no! I’m terrified,” Leski said, “but I know that together, we can do this.” 

 She took Korix’s hand and mine, and linked with them, the vices on my chest and mind relented. We stayed like this for a long while. I didn’t know what was taking so long, but considering how many delays we’d already dealt with, one more didn’t bother me. 

 When Siva eventually returned with a rolling bassinet, I’d almost fallen asleep on Korix’s shoulder, but any inclination that I might have had for dreams vanished when he stiffened beside me. He and Leski were on their feet before I’d comprehended what was happening, and to my chagrin, I had to suppress a yawn while joining them. Once there, however, I joined my partners in a statue state, staring at the promise of joy that we’d been offered. 

 “I’ll leave you to it,” Siva said before backing out of the room. 

 Still, we couldn’t move, although I wasn’t sure why that was. Korix broke his paralysis first, striding toward the bassinet, but once he was standing over it, he turned, and tension fled from him while the most beatific smile pulled on his lips. 

 “Aren’t you beautiful?” he said. 

 Hesitantly, he poked a finger toward the bassinet, and tiny, waving hands lifted to capture it. A stunningly gleeful sound sent questing tendrils into my heart, twisting something primal, and I forgot to breathe. Was that my child’s laughter? 

 But then, Korix joined in with a chuckle, tugging his finger from side to side, and Leski was racing for them as if staying away for a single second more would kill her. When she looked into the bassinet, she sank to her knees, clinging to its side with her chin on her hands. 

 “Mother Time, he’s perfect,” she said. 

 A son! I had a son! 

 Squeezing my eyes closed, I pushed back the tears that were trying to escape from me. They might be happy tears, but in the last year, I’d cried far too much over horrible things. I wouldn’t do it now. 

 Because now, I was the most elated I’d been in decades. Hell, I couldn’t remember when I’d last fallen into euphoria because of happiness. Maybe when Leski had told me she was staying with me, no matter what, but this was a different type of happiness. This was warm and golden and made of a syrupy sweetness that I never wanted to surrender, but I slowly relinquished my grip on it, if only to open my eyes. 

 Korix and Leski hadn’t moved, still struck speechless, and for a fraction of a second, I didn’t think I deserved to be with them. As soon as the thought occurred, though, I rejected it, lifting the first of my heavy feet. My heart was in my throat when I reached them, although it was a pleasant sensation this time, and finally, finally, I got my first glimpse of my child. 

 The logical part of my brain noted the imperfections in his features—the too-close-together eyes, the jutting forehead, and more—all identifying makers, because of course it did. I’d been trained too well. 

 I, however, only saw my child's fingers and toes, the chubby arms, the tuft of brown hair, the freckles spread across his impossibly small nose, the hazel eyes that were bouncing between us with such trust in them. Those eyes locked onto the newcomer, and his baby babble shifted into a delighted key. 

 Hearing it, I couldn’t help myself. I knew I should let Leski or Korix do this, but a desperately teetering part of me, crying out for a break, needed this. So, I bent forward, and I lifted my child out of the bassinet, resting him in my arms, and it was as if oxygen had flooded my suffocating spark of a soul. I was light as air, and in this moment, nothing could touch me. 

 I was immune to pain. 

 Curling over our baby’s body, I kissed his forehead before pulling back enough to see him, someone who’d become my world. 

 “You are the most wonderful thing that’s ever happened to me,” I said, resting a finger on his cheek, “and I will keep you safe for as long as you let me. You will never know suffering or this world’s many horrors. Not if I can help it. You will be happy…” 

 Blinking a few times, I came back to myself, lifting my head to find Korix and Leski watching me with fond smiles. 

 “What’s his name?” I croaked, only now noticing how dry my mouth was. 

 Just as I noticed that I was holding a fragile baby. Me, who’d never done this before and probably should never go near children. 

 Perhaps seeing my rush of panic, my partners hurried to me, and Leski took our child out of my arms. 

 “This,” she said, tracing the baby’s cheek, “is Jak.” 

 Hmm. I wasn’t sure how I felt about that name, but given how often I’d been gone for the last few months, I didn’t deserve much of a say in it. 

 Sliding behind Leski, Korix hugged her, hunching so he could rest his chin on her shoulder. 

 “And we will keep him safe,” he said. 

 Laughing, I said, “Fair enough.” 

 I stepped forward to complete our gathering. In the background of my mind, my troubles—how much I’d been drinking, the self-harm, my shaky relationship with my brother, my faltering mental state, my sister as a Chosen—rumbled, but they could stay there for the moment. For now, I had the two people I most loved at my side. I had my son, quickly joining their ranks, and I had a month of respite ahead of me. Life couldn’t be better. 

 So, I met Korix and Leski’s eyes, and we grinned like fools before returning our attention to the fulfillment of a decades-long-held goal.

Addendum
So, now you’ve met one of the few people I’d sacrifice everything for. My child. 

 By now, you’ll have figured out where this story is going, although if you haven’t, that’s fine too. As with the beginning of the Ancients Crisis, I’ll skip a few years, twenty-five in fact. During this time, I was again an utter moron in a lot of ways. For example, I never followed up on Feena’ suspicion about how easily we'd found Harvel, filing the memories of that mission in a folder that I rarely touched. 

 As for what happened during those years, I’d say not a lot. Socially, there was backlash when people found out I had a kid, but I’d expected that. My partners and I kept it away from Jax. 

 Also, about six years after we took our child home, a few concerning issues started arising for me, or rather, I first started taking notice of them. For instance, before then, my personas may have been getting out of hand, as seen by how independent Rylan had become while with Zan and Cerullis, but for some reason, they started getting more… intelligent—I’ll put it—as well, which made keeping them below the surface more difficult. Learning how to solve that problem took me quite some time, and as you’ll see in the next few chapters, I still wasn’t great at it, even after twenty-five years of practice. 

 My general mental state also took a turn for the worse, although it was never in a way that affected my job or relationships. Simply put, my anxiety and depression levels skyrocketed, making it much more difficult to keep them under control, but I managed. I’ve always done that. 

 If only I’d known then what I know now. Hell, it would have helped. 

 When it came to my job, I found myself carefree for the first time in decades. I looked into some minor problems, like the missing persons case I’ve mentioned, but not much else came up. 

 That mission ended up being mostly frustrating. We never found the people who were lost, and when the disappearances stopped a year later, the case was put on a shelf to gather dust. Fortunately, not many of the others were like that, easily solvable instead. 

 Soon after my month-long break, I visited Sanya, as planned, and as you might expect, we quickly became friendly with one another. Usually, I don’t have much trouble when it comes to getting along with people, and Sanya’s personality meshed well with mine. Why wouldn’t we get along? 

 The point I’m trying to make, however, is that for twenty-five years, my life was wonderful. I got to raise our child through their formative years. I got to be a father and a husband and a life partner and a lover instead of a ruthlessly efficient killing machine. 

 This made me soft. So, it was inevitable that what I’ll describe next would occur.

Chapter 37: They Got the Drop on Me
I wasn’t going to make it. My blasted P.I.G. had given out too far from rescue, succumbing to the damage that my latest target had caused it, and as I stumbled forward, my vision kept blinking in and out of focus. If that weren’t enough, the fact that blood was still leaking from me was… concerning, to put it lightly, and I still needed to surmount the security measures that I’d established around the refuge I was headed toward. 

 I would get through them, though. If I was to reach the RRDs I needed, I’d have to. Mother Time knew how quickly I’d run through the hypos I’d had on me. 

 After all these years, it would be just my luck to die on the tail end of a mission—and an easy one at that—with naught but a five-minute walk between me and my home. Hell, I’d only been tracking a target to the contraband he’d been smuggling! 

 As I reached the garden at the back of the estate, I marveled that my rapidly failing body had gotten me this far, even as I cursed what had forced me to bring evidence of my role to this place. When I’d made the decision to come here, I’d known I wouldn’t reach another source of salvation in time, and I’d deemed the possible risk of exposing my family to my body’s state less damaging than the pain that my passing would inflict. Hopefully, though, I could sneak into the house, stab myself with hypos, and sleep off their contained RRDs with none the wiser. 

 I made it through the garden without incident, although climbing the stairs to the terrace nearly had me tumbling back down them. 

 When I reached the top, I couldn’t celebrate my success. I stopped short, weaving in place, while staring at my child. What was he doing here? 

 He was standing in front of a window, grimacing at his reflection, with a bouquet of flowers in one hand. Ever the nurturing horticulturist, my Jak. With the other hand, he pulled his hair out of its tail before prodding a cheek. Lifting a finger, he rested it on the distorted nose in the glass opposite him. 

 “Horrible is what you are. We’re going to change that,” he said, probably meaning for it to go unheard. 

 But I had yet to relax from a heightened state, and because of that, his words, a repeat of things that I’d caught over the years, clearly drifted to my ears. Perhaps I could blame my damaged body for the protesting noise I made in response. 

 This, of course, got Jak's attention, and when he spun toward me, I ducked for cover. Out of everyone in my family, he was the one I’d least wanted to see me like this. I only ended up tripping over non-responsive feet, though, barely catching myself on a railing, and at the gasp that rose in front of me, I winced. 

 “Per!” Jak shouted. 

 Oh, how that typically beloved word tore at me when it had been spoken this time. 

 “Don’t worry. ‘m ok,,” I mumbled into the railing’s stone. “Just need… rest.” 

 After a beat of quiet, Jak growled, “Like hell you’re ok.” 

 Unable to move the rest of my body, I fought to lift my head, and boy, was I glad when I did that. My child was storming toward me, and in the confusing mix of expressions roiling across his face, I got a glimpse of the adult he’d become. Once he was at my side, he tossed my arm over his shoulders, lifting me off of the railing. With his help, I forced myself to move toward the house. 

 “What happened?” Jak asked. 

 How was he so calm right now? Usually, he didn’t do well with disruptions in his life, preferring to shy away from sources of conflict. 

 “Was nothing… serious,” I gasped, noticing how precious oxygen had become. “Just got… a little careless.” 

 With his grip on me tightening, Jak said, “Damnit, per. I need to know what sort of injuries I’m dealing with.” 

 Should I tell him how badly I’d been hurt? As he dragged me inside, I considered lying to my child. I had to shield him from the dangers of my life, but as I catalogued my body’s condition, I wasn’t sure if I could do that today. 

 Jak was already out of breath from how heavily I was drooping on him, and my extremities were going numb. That combined with my skewed sight and how much the hall was spinning had me surprised that I was still conscious. With these symptoms, I had to be bleeding internally, and that meant I should be out like a light right now, soon to breathe my last. So, I decided to be truthful. 

 “‘s bad,” I said, wanting to slap myself for how much my words were slurring. “Also. Language.” 

 Transferring me to a drone, Jak snorted. 

 “Like you’ve ever cared about that before,” he said. “Now, where are your emergency RRDs? I know you keep them around here somewhere.” 

 So. Calm. I… never expected him to be so… 

 A stinging sensation in my cheeks had me blinking at my child's blurry face. As I registered the anti-gravity field the drone had caught me in, Jak smacked my cheeks again. 

 “RRDs, dad,” he said. “Where are they?” 

 Shit. He didn’t call me ‘dad’ unless… 

 But what… what he’d asked… 

 Who was supposed to be home right now? 

 “Ask yur father,” I managed. 

 Then, I was gone. For a while, vague glimpses of my victims chased me, flickering in and out of view. They were different every time I caught sight of them. 

 “A number,” they snarled at me. “We’re just a number to you.” 

 With that, they faded, and I was left staring at the back of my eyelids with the contents of a highly frequented file flashing on them. I must have opened it while sleeping. 

 Damn, that number was high. 

 After shoving the file to the side, I took a deep breath before opening my eyes. I was in bed, as expected, but it wasn’t the one I shared with my partners. Considering my unfamiliarity with my surroundings, I must be in a guest room. 

 When a book creaked closed beside me, I made a face, keeping one eye closed as I turned toward the sound. Korix didn’t look nearly as pissed as I’d thought he’d be. Sitting in a chair beside me, he had an ankle propped on his knee with a book held in his lap. 

 “How are you feeling?” he asked. 

 Right. The reason I was lying here. 

 “Fine. I think,” I said. 

 Grimacing, I pushed myself upright, scooting to rest against the headboard. 

 “Is Jak ok?” 

 “He’s a little shaken, but he’ll be fine.” 

 Korix set his book on the bed before folding his hand on his raised leg. 

 “What happened?” he said. 

 Sighing, I banged my head on the wall. 

 “I made a stupid mistake. Didn’t check my corners when entering a room,” I said. “My target was in one of them. He shot me.” 

 “A few times, from what I saw,” Korix said, glancing at my chest. “Should I be worried?” 

 Oh, Mother Time, how much subtext lay behind that question, but the chief part of it didn’t revolve around me. Sure, a lot of what I heard from him was, ‘Will you be coming home like this more often now?’ But a lot was also, ‘Should I expect to see you training the next Lokke Vitras soon?’ 

 I reached for Korix’s hand, waiting until he gave it to me before smiling. 

 “Everything’s fine,” I said. “It really was just a dumb mistake.” 

 Relaxing, Korix said, “Can’t afford to be stupid, Zae. Not ever.” 

 With a chuckle, I patted his hand. 

 “Don’t I know it.” 

 Nodding, Korix pulled away from me. 

 “I’m assuming you had no choice when coming here,” he said. “Otherwise, you’d never have exposed Jak.” 

 “Of course I wouldn’t have,” I said. 

 Despite how much I wanted to, I didn’t ask about our child again. If there had been a problem, Korix would have told me. 

 Instead, I said, “Where’s Leski?” 

 “With Jak,” Korix said. “Why did you send him to me and not his mother? It’s Leski’s turn to stand in the Lokke Vitras’ sphere of influence right now.” 

 This was how we’d kept Jak sheltered from the stressful aspects of what I did. Of her other parents, one was kept separate from all things Lokke Vitras, but even with the need to keep our child safe, Leski and Korix had still wanted to help me with the occasional mission. So, they rotated between the role of full-time parent and full-time partner. 

 “I couldn’t be sure that she was here,” I said. “It was likely, yes, but I needed one of you right then. I figured getting Jak away from my declining state would be worth a short-term swapping of roles.” 

 “And it was!” Korix said. “You’re alive, and everyone is fine. So, please don’t worry like I know you want to.” 

 All right. That was great and all but… 

 Sighing, I said, “You know I can’t do that. How bad was it, Ko?” 

 Korix looked away, unable to speak for a moment. 

 “You died,” he eventually said. “No heartbeat or breathing for a solid three minutes. I only got you back because I dosed you with my signature blend of RRDs quickly enough. I also gave you far too many chest compressions.” 

 Damn. That was… 

 What did it say about our lives that Korix was taking something as horrific as that in stride? 

 “I’m… sorry-” I started. 

 “Don’t, Zae,” Korix said before smiling at me. “This isn’t the first time you’ve tried to escape from the physical world. Don’t you remember how often I had to resuscitate you during your training?” 

 Rolling my eyes, I said, “True. Sometimes, I thought you got a kick out of killing me.” 

 While Korix laughed, I watched him for signs that he was hiding something from me, but he showed me nothing. In the years we’d been together, I’d gotten pretty good at picking up on those, so I turned to the next subject of concern. 

 “Did Jak…?” 

 “See me working you over?” Korix finished for me. “No. I’d sent him to his mother before that happened.” 

 “OhthankMotherTime,” I said in a rush. 

 Tilting my head back, I squeezed my eyes closed so I could rub my face. 

 “He’ll figure out how closely I walk the line between life and death sooner or later, but the longer I can delay that realization, the better.” 

 Slapping my hands into the sheets, I shook my head. 

 “I’ll have to act like nothing serious has happened for the rest of the week,” I said. “Keep him from worrying too much.” 

 “Normally, I’d tell you that Jak will see through an attempt like that. He’s too perceptive,” Korix said, “but this morning, Damari showed up for a visit, saying something about their godchild needing them. They should distract him.” 

 “That’s lucky,” I said. “I know Damari takes their godparent role more seriously than most, but showing up out of the blue like that seems excessive. Maybe Jak asked them to come and forgot to tell us?” 

 Shrugging, Korix said, “Maybe. He’s making a big fuss about dinner tonight. Said something about making it himself.” 

 Oh, no. 

 “That’ll be… interesting,” I said with my voice tight. “Maybe I should keep resting, then? I wouldn’t want to disrupt his special plans.” 

 “Don’t you dare,” Korix said. “You may need rest, but a short trip downstairs won’t hurt anything, and you know it. So, you’ll come downstairs with me so you can eat every bite of what Jak makes, and you will enjoy it. He’s not a bad cook.” 

 Making a face, I said, “No. But he’s not you.” 

 Korix flashed a smile at me. 

 “No one’s like me in the kitchen,” he said. 

 “Or in a fight or in the fairy tale worlds you create,” I added. “And Mother Time help anyone who tries to match you in bed. Besides Leski, of course.” 

 The faintest of flushes rose in Korix’s cheeks before he could quash it. 

 “You flatter me,” he said, “but I’m glad to see you still have your snark. It proves my point about you attending dinner.” 

 When he gave me a pointed look, I groaned. 

 “Fine,” I said. “When is it?” 

 “Soon. You’d better get ready.” 

 Of course it was soon. Rolling my eyes, I swung my legs over the bedside, moving too quickly for my body, it would seem. A wave of dizziness had me steadying myself on the bed, and I clenched my gut to combat the gut-churning ache in my stomach. 

 Hell. My wounds must have been severe if I was still feeling their effects now, long after RRDs had started their work in my body. 

 Resting his hand on my back, Korix asked, “Do you need help?” 

 I almost told him no. I’d put him through enough today, but Korix hadn’t changed my blood-stained clothes before getting me into bed, and I should save my strength for the performance of normalcy that I’d have to put on soon. 

 “I think so, yes,” I said. 

 Korix had gotten better about keeping his disapproval to himself. He said not a word as he helped me out of bed, which was good. Dealing with that on top of everything else seemed like an unnecessary complication, especially when considering how much disdain my grandmother would surely shower on me soon. Best to shove it under the rug, focusing on what was important. My child. My family. Our lives together. 

 I was home. The rest of the world and my cursed role as the Lokke Vitras could wait for a time.

Chapter 38: Two Visits
Korix had been right, as usual. Jak truly was a decent cook. 

 After enjoying a last bite of my meal, I leaned back in my seat with a satisfied smile, watching Damari tell an animated story while my family looked on. I didn’t pay much attention to the tale’s particulars, content to watch my friend’s face morph between mock horror, anticipation, and a delight. I was always glad when they visited, not only because I enjoyed seeing them but because Jak loved his godparent. 

 As Damari finished their story, my child giggled, rocking back and forth as he clapped, and I smiled. Being here for that alone had been worth the struggle of getting up. It was definitely worth my continued fight to act like nothing was wrong. 

 Not that anything was actually wrong. I was weak as fuck right now, about to tip forward with every breath, and my chest ached everywhere I’d been shot, but these complications were temporary. With how little I’d needed to take them recently, RRDs had been working better on me than normal in the last few years. I might need another dose of them before leaving home, but either way, this pain would fade within a few days. 

 That didn’t mean I wanted Jak to see it. So, I sat as if I was at ease and laughed at every joke, no matter how much it hurt, and I thought the act might be working. Jak was no longer darting glances at me, and skittish anxiety, present when he’d oh-so-carefully hugged me earlier, didn’t hang quite so heavily on him,. 

 Wiping his eyes, he said, “Oh, that was good, auncle.” 

 “Glad you liked it,” Damari said. “Nicely done with the cooking, by the way.” 

 Lifting their fork, they took an exaggerated bite while rubbing their stomach. 

 “Thanks,” Jak said. 

 But he also glanced at his parents, trying so hard to be subtle with it. Even still, we broke into various words of praise, which set a glow on our child's cheeks. 

 “I’m glad everyone enjoyed it,” he said before grinning at Korix, “although I’m sure you have a critique for me, dad.” 

 Shrugging, Korix said, “Only if you want it. It can wait, though. I’m guessing this meal wasn’t all you have planned for the evening, and it’s getting late. Unless they’re staying with us, Damari will want to head home soon.” 

 “And your per looks like he could use some rest,” Leski added. 

 I made a face at that. She was no doubt annoyed with me for leaving her out of my most recent mission. 

 “I’m fine for a bit longer,” I said, “but your parents are right. If you have something planned, you might want to do it soon.” 

 Wordlessly, Jak stared at us, as if judging our words and intentions, but neither Leski, Korix, nor I shifted under the weight of it. This was just something our child did sometimes, not that I could blame him. Given who we were, it was a wonder that he didn’t have more than a healthy dose of suspicion when it came to us. 

 “Ok,” he eventually said. “Auncle and I will be in my room for a while. No monitoring me while I’m there. We’ll meet you in the garden in fifteen minutes or so.” 

 With an indulgent smile, Leski said, “All right, sweetie. We’ll be there.” 

 “Have fun with whatever you’re doing,” I said. 

 Jak got out of his chair with Damari joining him. 

 “Fifteen minutes, all of you,” he said, pointing at each of us. “Don’t you dare disappear on me, per.” 

 Wincing, I nodded, which untethered Jak from the table, and I watched him and Damari leave, chewing on my lip. Mother Time, I hated that he’d had to add that last bit. How much pain had I caused Jak with this role I-? 

 Getting to her feet, Leski smacked the back of my head. 

 “No,” she said. 

 And that was all. Like she’d been scolding a dog. 

 Rubbing my scalp, I said, “What was that for?” 

 While Korix watched me with amusement, Leski started collecting dishes, making it easier for the drones to clear the table when they came to do that. 

 “You were feeling guilty, probably thinking about all the times you’ve had to leave us,” she said. “Stop it. And would you two please get off your asses and help me?” 

 “Right.” 

 Korix easily rocked to his feet, but when I tried to do the same, I fell back into my chair with a grunt, drawing my partners’ gazes. 

 Waving their concern away, I said, “I’m… fine. Just… lowering the disguise of normality for a moment.” 

 If anything, that drew more worry onto their faces, anxiety that I ignored while climbing out of my chair. I was panting once I’d done it, barely staying on my feet. 

 Resting my hands on my hips, I said, “So. What do we think this is about?” 

 When I leaned over to grab some silverware, the room tilted at a wildly steep angle, so instead of taking a fistful of metal, I clung to the table to keep from falling over. 

 “Sit back down, you idiot.” 

 Snapping my head up, I found Leski before opening my mouth to reply, but Korix had already pulled out a chair, insistently pointing at its seat. I made a face, but I did as I’d been told, although I had to accept Korix’s help with it. 

 “Why did you have him come down here if he’s having such a hard time with leaning over?” Leski asked, glaring at Korix. 

 Turning his back to her, Korix returned to what he’d been doing without a word, but Leski kept shooting daggers at him, knowing she’d get answers from him soon. I tried to calm my wife down by taking her hand, which didn’t work. There was such fire in her eyes right now! If I hadn’t known love was causing it, it might have frightened me. 

 “If I’m right about what’s planned for tonight, Zae needs to be here,” Korix said, “and that’s all I’ll say about it.” 

 Hmm. Interesting. 

 “What do you think is going on?” I asked. “Is Jak in trouble?” 

 “I doubt it. If that kid was causing trouble, something horrible absolutely would have come first, and you know it,” Korix said. “As for your other question, it’s not my place to say. All I can give you is that tonight will be important for both Jak and Zaeden.” 

 Leski crossed her arms, and as I opened my mouth to ask another question, I got an alert through my array. 

 Someone’s at the door. 

 Slumping in my chair, I groaned. If this was another group of Lutovish who’d come to ogle at their Lokke Vitras’ home, I might murder them. After Jak started House rotations, it had been inevitable that the thin layer of secrecy surrounding this place would disappear, but knowing this had made the people who occasionally showed up on our doorstep no less annoying. 

 “Did they at least give us their names this time?” I asked. 

 Yes, came the response. Your guest is Second Stratus Feena of House Kolb. 

 I sat upright, which was a mistake. Hissing, I clutched at my chest while scrambling to leave my seat. 

 “Let her in,” I said. 

 Acknowledged. 

 As I continued with my fight to get up, someone rested their hand on my shoulder. 

 “Let one of us greet her,” Korix said. 

 Shaking my head, I said, “I can handle this. Can you and Leski finish up here? I’ll meet you in the garden.” 

 “You’d better do that. Remember what our kid said. No running off,” Leski said. “And please, don’t stress yourself, love. We need you at peak health as soon as possible.” 

 Free of the chair, I lifted an eyebrow. 

 “Why?” I asked. “Besides the obvious, of course.” 

 Huffing, Leski rolled her eyes before turning to the table. 

 “You just came home. You know exactly why,” Korix said with a laugh in his voice. 

 Given how much he knew I hated him worrying about me, that was the closest he’d come to insisting I take care of myself, but even knowing this, I happily hummed and dipped my head to them, the closest I could come to a bow right now. 

 “I’ll do my best,” I said. 

 Leaving them, I hurried… or more, I hobbled toward the foyer, although I slowed down as I approached it. With a few deep breaths, a hypo full of stimulants, and some modification to my hormone levels, I got myself into a state where I could ignore my lingering pain. If I was lucky, Feena might not recognize the sense of euphoria that I’d artificially induced, but in the likely event that she did, it might hide everything else that was wrong with my body. 

 As I swung into the foyer, my sister had one arm crossed over her chest, tapping her foot while gesturing at the air. When visiting, she’d always found it annoying that guests had to wait here until one of us could retrieve them, even if she understood why we did that. Unlike our apartment in Xygek, we didn’t keep the estate perpetually safe for outsiders, and while most of the time, it was safe, none of us wanted to see what would happen if a guest wandered somewhere they shouldn’t be. 

 “Feena!” I said, spreading my arms wide. 

 With a smile, my sister turned my way, but before she could examine me, I was hugging her. She returned the embrace, squeezing me hard, and I fought to keep my knees from buckling. 

 “It’s good to see you,” she said before thrusting me away. “How’ve you been?” 

 Rubbing the back of my neck, I said, “Oh, you know. As well as I can be. Things have gotten busier, but that’s life.” 

 Feena, however, wasn’t listening to me, scanning my body with a frown. She’d noticed something was wrong and almost immediately at that. Of course she had. 

 “I’m fine. Had a scare earlier. I got through it, though,” I said before she could ask. “I’ll tell you about it later, but right now, I need to meet my family in the garden. Jak's got something planned. Why are you here?” 

 Apparently, my sister wasn’t done looking me over. By the time she was finished, a shiver had begun its rumble beneath my skin, originating everywhere that her eyes had landed, but I shut it down. That had been uncomfortable. 

 “My thing can wait. I wouldn’t want to ruin Jak's plans,” she said. “Can I…?” 

 She gestured toward an entrance that led deeper into my home. 

 “Of course!” I said. “Although…” 

 Holding up a finger, I turned aside while writing a message to my child. 

 Your aunt’s here, it read. Can she join us, or would you rather if she waited somewhere else? 

 Responding took Jak a while, long enough that I started worrying that something had happened to him. Maybe he was unsure of how to answer, though, reluctant to share his plans with Feena. Just as I resolved to check on him, a message popped into view, stopping me. 

 She can be here, it read. 

 And nothing else, which was strange. Jak loved his Aunt Feena, always energetic when she visited. Why was he being so short today? 

 “Jak is ok with you being there,” I said. “I’d have been a little concerned if he wasn’t but…” 

 Smiling, I waved toward the estate’s innards. 

 “Shall we?”

Chapter 39: Welcome Changes
I led the way through my home, wondering why my sister was keeping quiet. Usually, she’d be chatting my ear off about her job or dating life by now, but she was silent today, holding herself in a way that made me reluctant to start a conversation. I did  not like how many discrepancies this day had brought with it. 

 Soon enough, we walked onto the terrace at the back of the house before heading into the garden. I loved coming here, where we’d imposed the smallest bit of another landscape on the Southern Fells. Keeping tropical plants healthy in this chill air required a lot of work, some of it done by drones and some by Jak, but I thought it was worth it. Stepping into a miniature portrait of Crinas, transported from across the water, was always a refreshing experience, even if I never wanted to stay here for long. Its artificial humidity could be a bit much. 

 We found Leski and Korix here, and Feena warmly greeted them, hugging them both. Once that was done, however, she turned severe, pointing at me. 

 “What happened to him?’ she said. “I know it was bad, considering he’s letting his pain show, and that means he’ll downplay it when I wrangle it out of him. I’d rather avoid that struggle so…?” 

 While I groaned, lifting my eyes to the sky, Leski crossed her arms, pointedly staring at Korix. 

 Looking over our heads, he said, “Shot in the chest three times with the bolts nicking a few blood vessels. He bled out. Clinically dead for three minutes, probably one of the longest times he’s been down and out. Claims he made a mistake when breaching a room.” 

 By the time he was done, he looked like he’d be sick while I felt like I’d been shot again. The girls turned on me with an interesting mix of horror and fury in their eyes, and neither of them moved for far too long. Korix must not have shared the details of what had happened with Leski. 

 This was what I did to the people I loved. This was what I’d leave behind when the role of the Lokke Vitras inevitably killed me. 

 Yet, I couldn’t bring myself to create distance between us. So long as they wanted it, I would be with them. 

 “Please, stop frowning at me. Aren’t you used to these things by now?” I said. “Besides, Jak needs us, yes? We can’t let my issues anywhere near that kid.” 

 After another spell of uncomfortable silence. Feena again pointed at me. 

 “You are an idiot,” she said before crooking her finger. “Come here.” 

 As I crossed to her, I couldn’t help but feel like a scolded child, even as my loved ones drowned me in touches and hugs. After her third time trying to crush me, Feena nodded. 

 “Right,” she said. “Now, we can focus on Jak.” 

 “That’s great! They'll be down soon.” 

 Ambling toward us, Damari flashed a smile at Feena before shoving their hands in their pockets. 

 “Ready for some advice?” they said. 

 I rolled my eyes. 

 “Of course we are. Please, regale us with your wisdom,” I said. “How often did you help us get through teenage spats when Jak was growing up again?” 

 “Not as often as I expected. You three handled puberty better than most people do,” Damari said, “but that’s not important right now.” 

 Puffing out a sigh, they fixed their eyes on the ground while kicking at it. 

 “So, advice. Your kid’ll come out here soon, and when that happens, you shouldn’t react to what you see,” they said. “Follow their lead, and just… remember that your job as parents is to shelter and guard your child, not to live through them or project your expectations on their life. Not that you’ve done that to his point! I just think reiterating it is for the best.” 

 Glancing up, they smirked at my sister. 

 “Same goes for you, Second Stratus Feena. Mouth shut.” 

 Huffing, Feena nodded while I exchanged a glance with my partners. 

 “This sounds serious, Damari,” Leski said. “Should we be worried?” 

 “Mother Time, no!” Damari exclaimed. “In fact, I’ve seen plenty of evidence that like most Lutovish, none of you will mind this sort of thing, but when it hits closer to home, people’s reaction can be… stronger.” 

 With that, I put the pieces together, which had taken me longer than it should have, but now that I knew what was going on, I didn’t let my own feelings show. I didn’t want to ruin this for anyone, but I did catch Korix’s eye. Why had he thought this would affect specifically me, out of us all? I didn’t see how it could, but maybe I was missing something. 

 “I think we can manage that,” I said. 

 “Good!” Damari said. “In that case, talk amongst yourselves for now. Your kid'll be out here soon enough.” 

 Laughing, the others did just that, but I kept my focus on the path that led to the house, schooling my expression into the most welcoming one in my repertoire. Donning it didn’t take much effort, but I wanted to make sure I was presenting it once this show got on the road. 

 Soon enough, I caught movement headed our way, and a few seconds later, my kid stepped into view. They’d changed out of the slacks and loose shirt they’d been wearing. Now, leggings and a baggy but distinctly fem cut sweater were hanging from them, and they’d styled their hair. They'd always kept it long, but it was now curled while make-up highlighted their eyes and cheekbones. As they came to a stop, silence fell, and they folded their hands behind their back, slowly twisting in place. 

 “So,” they said before clearing their throat. “So, I'm going by Baely now. I'd like it if you used 'she' or 'they' when referring to me, not 'he'.” 

 Looking a little lost, Baely trailed off before brightening and glancing up at us. 

 "Oh, yeah!" she said. "And I'm a girl, in case that wasn't obvious." 

 I had a daughter! 

 After a moment of awkward silence, Baely frowned. 

 "Why aren't you saying anything?" they asked. 

 "Yeah, you can talk now," Damari said. "I  swear you lot are slow for how smart you are." 

 While I shot a glare at my friend, Leski and Korix let emotion creep back into them as they spoke. 

 “Finally!” 

 “Thank. Mother. Time.” 

 Meanwhile, Feena hugged herself with shimmering eyes. 

 “Took you long enough, kid,” she said. 

 Baely looked more than a little shocked, staring at each of us with her lips parted. 

 “You knew?” they said. 

 Striding to our daughter, Leski took her hands. 

 “Sweetie…. can I still call you that?” she said, only continuing once she’d gotten permission. “Sweetie, we knew gender presentation would be an issue for you since you were… what was it, Ko? Three?” 

 “Something like that,” Korix said. “We didn’t want to muddle things for you, so we stayed out of it, although we encouraged you when related topics came up. We wanted you to figure it out on your own.” 

 With their lip trembling, Baely just looked at them, and no matter how much I wanted to join in on what was about to happen, I stayed away. I couldn’t get squeezed all to hell again, not right now. When my daughter glanced at me with the briefest splash of uncertainty in her, however, I hurried things along. 

 “You look wonderful, Baely,” I said. “I’ll always love you, not matter how you choose to present yourself.” 

 Bursting into tears, Baely pulled Korix and Leski to them, and for a while they lost it on their more physically stable parents. Meanwhile, I watched, casually contemplating why Korix had thought I’d find this important. I mean… it was, obviously . But it wasn’t something that touched on a personal issue for me. I doubted my feelings about it were any different from Baely’s other parents. 

 Speaking of which, my child eventually extricated themselves from Leski and Korix to gently hug me. 

 “Thanks, per,” she mumbled into my shirt. “I love you.” 

 “I love you too, sweetie.” 

 While rubbing her back, I caught Damari’s eye over her head. 

 ‘Thank you for this,’ I mouthed. 

 Faintly flushing, they wiggled in place with a grin. How much had they helped Baely with this issue? Korix, Leski, and I had done what we could for them, but not only had we wanted to stay out of their decision-making process, but we couldn’t relate. Damari could. 

 After a moment, I pulled Baely away. 

 “Can I ask where this is coming from?” I said. “No judgment of it, of course! I’m just curious what pushed you into taking this step.” 

 In slow motion, joy dropped off of Baely’s face, turning it into a blank canvas, and I frowned. Had I said something wrong? 

 Cautiously, she stepped out of my grasp before darting her eyes to her other parents. 

 “Per… my House naming’s coming up soon,” they said. “I wanted to look the way I feel when I choose a House.” 

 Their… House… naming? Something strong and utterly unfamiliar blasted through me, and rapidly blinking, I wavered, in body and mind. 

 Numbly, I said, “I… see. That… make sense.” 

 How had I forgotten about this? Baely was twenty-five. Of course her House naming ceremony was happening soon. In fact… 

 When I checked my calendar, I was once more punched by something alien. One month? It was scheduled for one fucking month from now? How had this…? I couldn’t have missed something so… 

 Mother Time, why were my thoughts so muddled right now? 

 Shaking my head, I cleared my throat. 

 “I’m glad you’ll have that chance, sweetie. Looking the way you feel is important,” I faintly said. “Can you give me a second? You can celebrate with your mom and dad for a minute, all right? I’ll be right back.” 

 I couldn’t examine what the expression on their face might mean. Spinning on my heel, I marched away, listening as Feena filled the awkward silence behind me. 

 “Hey! Am I getting some love anytime soon?” she said. “I get it. Acceptance from parents is nice, but come on! Your favorite aunt’s right here.” 

 Wasn’t she Baely’s only aunt? And why did that simple fact seem so important right now? 

 Distraction. It was a distraction. 

 Absently, I noted how short my breathing had become. My heart was racing in my chest, and I was barely staying cognizant of my surroundings, all while also turning hypervigilant. 

 As I took the steps to the terrace two at a time, I glared at a crack in its railing, one that had suddenly become my world. That could be dangerous. I should fix it. I should… 

 Hell, was I about to have a panic attack? Why the hell had those been happening so much more often lately? 

 Couldn’t think about what was happening! Couldn’t think … about it! Couldn’t think.

Chapter 40: Hints of Trouble 1
Somehow, I made it into the house before I completely lost it. I sprinted for an enclosed space, one with no windows, and when I reached it, I slammed the door, engaging its locks. 

 I couldn’t help but feel like someone was after me right now. I knew that wasn’t happening—I was perfectly safe—but no matter how much I focused on this fact, it kept slipping away from me. I also couldn’t help the need to flee that was creeping up on me, so I slammed my back into a corner before sinking into a crouch. 

 There. Now, I could see the whole room. Now, I was safe. 

 As I’d learned to do during previous panic attacks, I took deep breaths, counting each of them in my head. In: one, two, three four. Hold: one, two, three, four. Out: one, two, three four. Hold: one, two three four. 

 After several dozen repeats of this mantra, I was more clear-headed, if still a little dazed, but it was enough to slowly unwind my body. I didn’t get up, merely sinking to the floor so I could work through what had happened. Why had I had such a strong reaction to Baely mentioning her House naming? And how had it snuck up on me like that? I should have known it was coming for years, but somehow, I’d been completely oblivious to it. 

 Slowly, I picked through the events of the last four months, fighting mental fog the whole time, and once I was done, I winced at what I’d found. How many times had I abruptly left the room when someone had mentioned the upcoming ceremony? How often had I swiftly changed the subject when it had come up? And when that had happened, how eagerly and quickly had I sunk my focus into the new topic? No wonder this new revelation had caught me by surprise. 

 Still, I should have at least been aware of what I’d been doing as it had happened, but instead, I’d gone through each of those steps unconsciously. I’d never truly thought about my actions. How had that happened? Usually, I was exceedingly deliberate with my choices and behavior. 

 Unless I was on a deep-cover mission. At those times, my personas took over, and some of them were utterly ignorant about almost everything that happened around them. I only understood the implications of what they’d experienced once their part of the mission was over. 

 This experience was similar. Vaguely. I hadn’t been on a deep-cover mission in a few months, though, and I certainly didn’t remember using a persona even once during that time. Even still, this set of behavior did more match something that they’d do, not me. Could… could they be poking through, even when I wasn’t in deep cover? Could my personas somehow be messing with my everyday life? 

 Wincing, I pressed the heel of my palm to my aching head. Oh, that idea hurt too much to think about for long. Fortunately, a knock on the door let me drop it. 

 “Who is it?” I raggedly said. 

 Korix’s voice came through the door, strangely muffled. 

 “It’s me.” 

 Of course it was him. Who else would it be? Hell. 

 Squeezing my eyes closed, I let the door unlock, turning my face away as he came closer. He sat in front of me without a word, simply taking my hand. 

 “Are you all right?” he softly said. 

 Snorting, I said, “What do you think?” 

 Without replying, Korix brushed his thumb across my skin until I was ready to talk. 

 “Is Baely ok?” I said. 

 “Fine,” was the only answer he’d give me. 

 But then, he probably knew I was trying to use that question to avoid the problem, snarled in our midst. 

 “I don’t understand what happened,” I eventually said. “It shouldn’t have happened. I should have enough control-” 

 “When you’re at home, you don’t have to be in control, and you know that,” Korix interrupted. “You can relax here. Mostly.” 

 And that was probably why I’d just had a fucking panic attack in the first place. If I’d been anywhere else, it would never have surfaced into my conscious mind, left to simmer in the background. 

 Sighing, I opened my eyes, meeting his gaze with my guts clenched. 

 “Is this what you meant about today being important for me too?” I said. 

 Nodding, Korix said, “When it comes to Baely’s House naming, you’ve been acting strangely. I thought her announcement might shove the issue into the forefront.” 

 “Well, it certainly did that,” I growled before looking away again. “I truly do not understand, Ko. How do I keep losing control like this? It scares me. These lapses don’t happen often, but when they do, I always wonder if I’m starting to break like…” 

 After a pause, Korix said, “Like me?” 

 Wincing, I nodded. I hated putting it like that. Korix hadn’t broken . The pressure of this awful job had just become too much for him, and after how long he’d spent doing it, I couldn’t blame him for that. 

 “I don’t think you’re breaking, Zae,” Korix said. “I think you’re having a perfectly normal reaction to… this. Perhaps it reminds you of something from the past? Something bad.” 

 What could that be, though? We’d only been talking about a House naming ceremony. a perfectly ordinary event in the grand scheme of things. But considering my House naming ceremony had been less than pleasant, what with Korix stealing me away from it… 

 FUCK. No wonder I’d felt like someone had been after me! 

 Snapping my eyes closed, I said, “Hell. That’s it. The… problem.” 

 For a moment, I fought against the knot in my throat, but eventually, I cleared it. 

 “It’s just like when she turned six,” I continued. “When I was that age, I started using personas to hide myself so…” 

 “You worried circumstances would force her to do the same thing,” Korix said. 

 Hissing out a breath, I said, “Mother Time damnit all. I need to apologize to her.” 

 When I started climbing to my feet, though, Korix grabbed my wrist. 

 “No, you need to think about this,” he said. “You need to feel everything her House naming is prompting in you without shoving it under the rug again. She needs you to do that, Zae.” 

 He was right. Sinking back to the ground, I clicked my tongue. 

 “I hate it when you do that, you know,” I said. 

 But then, I turned inward. Baely was about to go through her House naming. Given… everything, how did I feel about this? 

 As soon as I examined the question, however, I knew the answer… sort of. I didn’t know the name for this feeling, howling like a gale inside of me, but hell, if it wasn’t familiar. How often had I raged at this disjointed helplessness… dread… despair… in the past? How many times had the conflict nearly killed me? A near-death was what it had always felt like, at least. 

 But now that I’d acknowledged it, I couldn’t stay still. Leaping to my feet, I paced, trying to contain this turbulent energy, but before long, it became too much, and I spilled over. Something other seated itself in the core of who I was while I watched myself move. 

 With a growling scream, I grabbed the closest object, throwing it at a wall, and it shattered. Panting, I stared at its pieces while settling back into place. 

 “Fuck the House system,” I said under my breath. “Fuck Lutov. Fuck me for my fear. Fuck all of it.” 

 I’d repeated those words so many times in the past, but the fury never left me. As the storm faded away— 

 Not gone. Never gone. Just falling back below the surface again. 

 —I winced. I didn’t know if I’d spoken quietly enough, and when Korix came up behind me, twining his fingers into mine, I blew out a breath, knowing he’d heard. 

 “What are you afraid of, Zae?” he said. “Baely won’t have the same experience as you did, and you know it. You are the Lokke Vitras, and you, more than anyone, will know if and when you’ll need a replacement. Even if you did need that right now, Baely is one of the least likely candidates to serve as your kuvesk.” 

 I quietly chuckled. 

 “That’s for sure,” I said. “She’s far too nurturing. Who knows which House she’ll choose when she…?” 

 Eventually had to pick one. Eventually lost her freedom. Like me. 

 I’d never wanted this for her. 

 I couldn’t change it. 

 I hated feeling this way. 

 Turning to Korix, I buried my face in his shoulder, holding back tears. Better to hold onto this fiery heat, burning in my eyes. Better to endure it than to let it out because if I let myself lose control right now, I wasn’t sure how long I’d cry. I wasn’t sure if the storm inside of me would surface once more, and more than anything, I couldn’t let that happen. 

 Korix held me until I’d pulled myself together, and when I backed off, he said not a word about what he’d seen, just like I’d needed. 

 “When you’re ready, Feena wants to talk,” he said. “I sent her to your study.” 

 Right. My sister. 

 Taking a deep breath, I gathered every emotion that had been pummeling me for the last quarter hour, and when I slowly breathed it out, I boxed knowledge of it away, letting myself forget this overreaction. Mostly. I’d still know it had happened, still be completely aware that I’d turned into a dramatic mess again, but it would feel distant. Like a dream. 

 Sooner or later, I should examine this again, analyzing exactly what the hell had been happening with me lately, but doing it now wouldn’t help. If anything, I’d just get overwhelmed, and that was never wise. So. Let it stew. Let it lose its edge. Focus on the present. 

 On him. 

 “Thanks, Ko,” I said. “For everything.” 

 With a half-smile, Korix said, “Of course. Go see your sister, and once you’re done, talk to Baely. She needs her per right now.” 

 I knew she did. What a joyous conversation that would be. 

 “But then, come find us,” Korix continued. “Leski and I will be waiting for you, whenever you’re ready.” 

 Thank Mother Time for that. 

 “I’ll be there soon,” I said. 

 But then, I left, heading for my sister.

Chapter 41: Hints of Trouble 2
After I’d reached my study, Feena waited in a corner while I made the room secure. She only relaxed from her tensed state once I’d poured her favorite drink, offering it to her. 

 “So?” I asked, taking a seat behind my desk. 

 Unlike my sister, I didn’t indulge in a drink. After what had happened before Baely’s handoff, I refused to touch alcohol unless the situation called for it, like at a party or a similar event. Not because my sister was visiting. 

 She got settled, taking a sip from her drink before pointing at my chest. 

 “Will you tell me how that happened?” she asked. “Or will I have to live in suspense until you feel comfortable enough to open up?” 

 I crossed my arms. 

 “What do you want me to say, Feena?” I asked. “I made a mistake. Sure, that’s supposed to be impossible, given who I am, but…” 

 With an eyeroll, I leaned back in my chair. 

 “Here we are.” 

 “Please. I stopped believing ‘the Lokke Vitras is invincible’ bullshit decades ago,” Feena said. “That’s not why I’m asking how you got shot. I’m asking because we…” 

 Looking away, she bit her lip. 

 “The world needs you, Zae,” she said. “You have to be careful.” 

 Oh, goody. Another of her maudlin, ominous warnings. 

 With a nervous chuckle, I said, “The world, huh? I can see how Lutov might need the Lokke Vitras, but Ibis definitely doesn’t. Besides, it might take a while, but someone could eventually fill my shoes. So, how am I needed?” 

 Sighing, Feena shook her head before meeting my eyes. 

 “You know what I meant. You’re too smart to miss it,” she said. “So, don’t play dumb.” 

 But I was so good at that! Apparently. I stubbornly held her gaze until she clicked her tongue. 

 “Fine,” she said. “Let’s move on.” 

 “Yes, what do you need my help with this time?” I asked. 

 “Excuse me! Half the time, you’re asking me for help,” Feena said, “but given that I came to you this time, I won’t take offense at the assumption.” 

 With a head shake, I said, “Thank Mother Time for that. So?” 

 Dropping her gaze to her glass, Feena swirled the liquid inside of it, looking lost. Oh, no. What had she brought me today? 

 After taking a deep breath, she said, “It has to do with the Chosen.” 

 And I went still. Shit. The Chosen? I hadn’t thought about them since… since Baely had been born, actually. I’d secretly hoped that I’d hallucinated about them, considering I’d been drunk and weak from blood loss when my sister had shared that secret. That Feena was here because of them… it wasn’t good. I couldn’t run away from it, though. 

 Bracing myself, I said, “And?” 

 “Do you remember that disastrous mission we finished before Baely’s handoff?” Feena asked. 

 Mother Time, I hadn’t thought about that in years. The memory of how melodramatic I’d acted during it still made me cringe. I’d never figured out why I’d responded to those circumstances as badly as I had. Maybe the cause for it had been something like my current circumstances: the past coming to haunt me. I had acted in a similar fashion this afternoon. If it had been that, though, I had no clue what past event the days in question had been tied to. So far as I was aware, I’d never betrayed a family member like I had with Pheniks. 

 Maybe it had reminded me of what I’d done to Fyester? That was the most similar experience that I could think of. Either way, it didn’t much matter, not when Feena needed an answer. 

 “I remember,” I said. “Why bring it up?” 

 “Well…” Feena said. “Remember how suspicious I was of the ease with which we found proof of our target’s guilt?” 

 Oh. 

 “You found something to validate those suspicions,” I said. 

 Nodding, Feena said, “Over the last twenty-five years, I’ve been on-and-off investigating the events of those months, and in the last few weeks, I’ve run across evidence that a third party was using Harvel as a patsy.” 

 At that, I flopped into my chair before remembering my injuries. 

 Containing my wince, I said, “That’s just fabulous. I can’t imagine how it’ll look that I missed something like that so shortly after getting approved for a child. Damn, spinning a mistake like that in the best light will be hell. Are you sure you’re right?” 

 I couldn’t think about the other consequences that might have spawned from this. If I considered how long this proposed mastermind had had their hands on the neurotoxin’s formula, my stomach bottomed out. 

 “Unfortunately, I don’t have much doubt,” Feena said, “but I won’t explain why I’m so sure right now. That would take a while, and you, dumbass, need to get some rest soon.” 

 “So, you’ll leave me in suspense instead?” I said. 

 “Just for the night, silly,” Feena said. “Talira will want an in-person report from you tomorrow, yes?” 

 Making a face, I nodded. I’d gotten a message from our grandmother before dinner, but I hadn’t opened it yet. I already knew what it would say. 

 “While you’re in Xygek, why don’t you meet me for lunch?” Feena continued. “We haven’t shared a meal in a while, and I can make my case while we eat.” 

 A meal with my sister? That- 

 “Sounds amazing. I’ll let you know when Talira’s done with me,” I said. “Is that all? Or do you have more tantalizing tidbits to tease me with?” 

 “Just…” 

 Feena bit her lip. 

 “I know you’ll attend this year’s House naming ceremony. No matter how much you typically like skipping them, you’ll have to attend Baely’s,” Feena said, “but it won’t just be her this year. Damari’s sister, Misah, will be there too, remember? I thought I should say something since your friend didn’t.” 

 Right. Misah. I didn’t know much about Damari’s sister, just that she was the same age as Baely. My friend never talked about her, but still, I knew she existed . 

 Hell. That was two people in my life who would be honored in this year’s ceremony. It was silly, but this reminder, so soon after everything else, truly painted a picture of how concerning my lapse in awareness had become. It almost pulled my box of awful back to centerfield as well, but fortunately, that container withstood this wave, remaining solidly in place. 

 With a forced chuckle, I said, “Don’t worry. I’ll be there.” 

 After all, I’d apparently had the time blocked out of my schedule since the beginning of this year. Given how blatantly I’d been ignoring the ceremony, I was curious why I’d taken that precaution, so long ago. Maybe I’d been subconsciously aware that I’d need the time. 

 “Well, then.” 

 Tilting her head back, Feen drained her drink before getting to her feet. 

 “I should head out,” she said. 

 “Seriously? You came all this way, just to tell me you were right?” I said. “You could have done that over a direct connection or hell, simply written me a message.” 

 Slamming a hand on my desk, Feena leaned forward to stick her finger in my face. 

 “Listen, smart ass. Before I got here, I was planning on telling you everything,” she said, “but when I first hugged you, you almost keeled over, which threw a kink in my plan. Didn’t it?” 

 As I stared at her finger, my eyes crossed. She was too close for them not to, but I didn’t shift my gaze away. 

 “It did,” I said. “I’m sorry.” 

 Feena drew a breath, clearly having expected a snarky response from me, and to her credit, I had considered giving her one. Instead, I enjoyed her look of frustrated confusion until she released an explosive sigh. 

 “Don’t let it happen again,” she said. 

 She marched to the door, and almost, I let her leave with nothing further said, but even knowing it would cause us pain, I couldn’t stop myself from asking. 

 “How’s Phen?” 

 Slowing to a stop in my office’s threshold, Feena rested a hand on its doorframe. 

 “He’s good. Just got back from Ostiu, but you probably knew that already,” she said. “I saw him last month. He looked happy.” 

 When she glanced at me, I nodded, clenching my hands on the desk. 

 “I’m glad to hear it,” I said. “Thank you, Feena.” 

 “Of course.” 

 Then, she left, and I took a moment to collect myself. Since my brother had become a shukusen twenty-five years ago, my relationship with him had healed, to a degree. Unfortunately, the obligatory tension that was always found between a head of House and the Lokke Vitras had been making things difficult for us. Any hope I might have had that Pheniks and I would work together toward bettering Lutov had died long ago. 

 Look at the bright side, though! At least he talked to me. 

 Shaking myself, I hauled my body out of my chair. It was time to go looking for my family. I couldn’t help but drag my feet as I did that, though. I wasn’t keen on having the coming conversation.

Chapter 42: The Perils of Fatherhood
I found Baely first. Sitting in a hall, she was leaning against the wall across from Leski’s studio, and when I stopped in front of her, she smiled up at me. Thank all that was holy for that. If she’d looked at me with anything else, I’d probably have lost it again.  

 Still, I was well aware of the tension in the air. It made me stiff as I jerked a thumb at the door opposite us. 

 “Are your parents in there?” I asked. 

 Shaking their head, Baely sighed. 

 “You shouldn’t say it like that,” they said. “You’re just as much my parent as they are, per.” 

 And look what a great job I’d done with that. I couldn’t let my past failings get to me now, though. Instead, I focused on being the father that my daughter needed in this moment. 

 She patted the ground beside her, and once I’d gotten settled, she laid her head on my shoulder. 

 “You didn’t answer the question,” I said. 

 Slowly, Baely nodded, which brushed her hair against my cheek. 

 “They seemed preoccupied, so I’m giving them space,” she said. “I figured you’d find me soon.” 

 “I see.” 

 As if reading my disappointment, Baely giggled. 

 “Don’t worry, per . From what little I saw of their antics, it didn’t look intense,” they said. “You’ll get your chance with them later. If you’re up for it.” 

 At the reminder of my injuries, their body tensed against mine. Mother Time damn it all. 

 “About what happened today,” I started. 

 I didn’t know where to go from there, though. Which issue should I address: shattering their illusion of my strength or how I'd ducked out on them after their announcement? Usually, I’d apologize here, but knowing my daughter, she’d only find that insulting, Maybe I should leave the floor open to her. 

 “Do you want to talk about it?” I asked. “I know seeing me injured must have been unpleasant, and the way I left you outside must have hurt. So, if you have any questions…?” 

 Straightening, Baely faced me, and I held my breath, wondering which issue they’d choose to address. 

 “Per, I’m not an idiot. I know what the Lokke Vitras does,” she said, “but I also know you.” 

 They rested a hand on my knee. 

 “You helped raise me, after all,” she continued. “I’ve known something like this would happen for a while. I’ve dreaded it, sure, but knowing it was coming made it slightly less… unpleasant, as you put it.” 

 So, they wanted to focus on that part. Almost, I left it there, abandoning a more painful discussion, but bracing myself, I moved forward with it anyway. 

 “And the rest?” I said. “Really, sweetie. You can ask me anything. I know I clam up on you about certain subjects, but you are always welcome to ask questions.” 

 Sighing, Baely looked away. 

 After a moment, she said, “Then… why? Why don’t you want to attend my House naming ceremony? Why don’t you even want to talk about it? I’ve been so confused lately…” 

 Mother Time, how I hated that. Gently, I took my child’s hand, making sure I’d caught their eye. 

 “Do you want the simple answer for that or a more thorough one?” I soberly asked. 

 For some reason, this made Baely laugh. 

 “Whichever you think is best, honestly,” they said. “I want to know everything because that’s how I am, but you’re my dad. You know how much I can handle.” 

 And that was the truth. Baely might be an adult now, but there was still so much I could never tell her about myself. Even still, because she was old enough, I could start opening up, if only a little. 

 “All right,” I said. 

 Spinning to face her, I settled into a more comfortable position, clasping my hands in my lap. 

 “The first thing you should know is that my reluctance about your House naming has nothing to do with you,” I said. “I’m happy for you, sweetie, absolutely ecstatic that you’ve reached this coming-of-age moment. Please, please know this.” 

 “Then, why…?” Baely asked. 

 "That’s… a difficult question to answer,” I said. 

 Hell, I wanted to look away right now. So much shame was welling up in me, but I fought it, forcing myself to maintain eye contact. 

 “It has to do with my past,” I said. “I… haven’t had an easy life. Growing up, my parents were always busy, so I was alone, left to fend for myself. Mostly. Feena and Phen helped with that but…” 

 Even if it was just the bare minimum of my past, I know I was sharing too much. Abso-fucking-lutely too much. Mother Time, look at the concern on their face! Time to back off. 

 “The point is that my childhood wasn’t exactly happy,” I continued, “and when I was younger, I quickly learned how to ignore that fact. Personas became my escape, my way of being ‘fine’, and over time, they hid me—the real me—from the world. They also hid some of my more dangerous viewpoints. One of those is about what happens during House naming ceremonies.” 

 As understanding dawned on Baely’s face, I nodded. 

 “You see the connection now. Good. Let me clarify it a bit more,” I said. “When I was six, I realized that this opinion would get me into serious trouble if anyone ever noticed it so…” 

 For some reason I could not maintain eye contact while confessing this secret. 

 “So, I created a new persona, the most intricate and real one I’ve ever built. Once it was done, it erased who I once was, therefore concealing my dangerous viewpoints from the world,” I said. “I’ve been masking that part of me ever since, and that isn’t likely to change. 

 “Oh, per,” Baely said. “I’m sorry.” 

 Wrenching my gaze to her, I patted her hand. This wasn’t ok. I shouldn’t be burdening my daughter with my troubles… but she needed to know what I’d been acting so strangely. Given that, I hoped I’d walked the line between explaining enough and sharing too much. At the least, I could make my confession easier for her. 

 “It’s fine, sweetie,” I said. “Sometimes, life gives you a bad hand. I’ve made my peace with it.” 

 For the most part. 

 “Besides, you know I’m happy now,” I continued. “With your parents as my partners and you as my kid, how could that not be the case?” 

 Giggling, Baely said, “That’s fair. So, is that why my House naming makes you uncomfortable?” 

 “Mostly,” I said. “It’s also a reminder of my own ceremony, but that’s not important.” 

 It really wasn’t. There was no way in hell I was giving them more than a peek into one of the worst moments of my life. 

 Narrowing their eyes, Baely lightly slapped my leg. 

 “Don’t hold back now, per,” they said. 

 I just smiled at them, refusing to open that crack any wider. 

 “I promise I’m not. My House naming ceremony was a loooong time ago,” I said. “Besides it wasn’t much of one anyway. Your father interrupted it. Stole me from it to train me in his ways.” 

 When I put on a silly grin, Baely didn’t reciprocate, which made me worry. Even still, she didn’t seem horrified by what I’d said. She merely got to her knees so she could pull me into a hug. 

 “I get it,” she whispered in my ear. “Thank you for telling me.” 

 “Of course,” I said. 

 For a moment, we just held one another, but soon enough, we separated. 

 “Don’t worry, Baely,” I said. “I’ll be at your House naming ceremony, cheering just as loudly as everyone else once you’ve made your choice.” 

 No matter how much that might personally pain me. 

 “In the meantime, do you have any other questions for me?” I asked. “Or shall we interrupt your mom and dad?” 

 “I’m all out of curiosity for now. Let's go inside,” Baely said. “You have to go fist, though, ok?” 

 They feigned a sour face, and happy to have an unpleasant conversation behind us, I rocked to my feet, touching the wall for balance once I was there. Baely glanced at me with a question in her eyes, one I waved away. I should have taken a second dose of RRDs before coming here, but I hadn’t been this badly injured in a while. I might have forgotten my body’s limitations. Just a little bit. 

 Behind the studio’s door, my partners were wrapped around one another, but they hadn’t gotten into anything intimate yet. Korix glanced up when I entered, which had Leski releasing a disappointed sigh, and Baely clicked her tongue behind me. 

 “Oh, please, mom,” she said. “You’ll be fine for a little while longer.” 

 “Yes, yes,” Leski groaned. 

 Reluctantly, she turned toward us, quickly switching from petulant to concerned. 

 “Did you two have a good talk?” 

 Stopping beside me, Baely crossed their arms. 

 “Don’t know about good, but it explained things, so I’m happy,” she said. “And in other news… could you show me how to do that pirouette-arabesque-assemblé combination that you were doing earlier? I’ve been meaning to ask for another demonstration all day.” 

 With a grin, Leski said, “Sure, sweetie.” 

 She extended a hand to our daughter, and hugging myself, I watched them get into position. I still remembered a time when Baely’s head had only come up to Leski’s hip, and they would awkwardly copy their mother’s graceful movements. My daughter had never taken to music like Leski but dancing? They liked that, even if it had only been a passing interest. Not like their gardening. 

 Circling an arm around my waist, Korix extended a hypo to me, which I raised an eyebrow at. 

 “What?” he said. “You need it, don’t you?” 

 Chuckling, I took his gift, jabbing myself with it, and for a while, we watched the girls dance about the room. 

 “What did Feena want?” Korix eventually asked. 

 “Mm. She has something she wants me to look into,” I said, rubbing his side. “Shouldn’t be a problem.” 

 “Ok,” Korix said. 

 And nothing more. One of these days, I’d get used to how much he trusted me now. It had to have happened sometime, right? 

 “Did Damari leave?” I asked. 

 “Not long after you disappeared. They said something about getting home before dark,” he said. “Also, I was told to relay a sarcastic goodbye, but given the circumstances, I’ll spare you.” 

 “How kind,” I drawled. 

 It was too bad I’d missed them. I’d have liked to spend a little more time together before they’d left. 

 “How are you feeling?” Korix asked. 

 I heard the second question there, though. 

 With a half-smile, I said, “Much better, thanks. I’m still pretty weak, though, so you and Leski will have to go easy on me tonight. If we get up to anything.” 

 Korix turned to me with the most blank expression in place. 

 “If?” he said in deadpan. 

 Snorting, I said, “Fine. When we get up to something.” 

 “Thank Mother Time. Even after a brush with death, I haven’t lost the slightest piece of my Zaeden to the void,” Korix said. 

 It was my turn to speak in deadpan. 

 “Yours?” 

 Softly smiling, Korix said, “Only when it matters.” 

 He rested his palm on my jaw, letting me nuzzle it, before turning me to him, and when our lips met, I forgot how close I’d come to death this morning. I forgot how badly my body needed to rest. I forgot who else was in the room. I had only him . As always. 

 When someone cleared her throat, it dragged me free of that state. 

 “Welp. That’s my cue to leave.” 

 Oh. Right. Baely.  

 Wincing, I pulled away from Korix, only to get attacked by Leski’s hug, and huffing, my kid made their way toward the door. Had we made them uncomfortable? 

 “I’m sorry,” I said. “We should have-” 

 Snickering, Baely stopped short, shaking her head, before diverting her course to us. When she reached us, she joined the hug, burying her face in my shoulder. 

 “It’s ok, per . Like I said, I know you,” she said. “Near death experience plus having loved ones around plus who you are lead to one foregone conclusion, which is only natural, and I’m surprised you three have gone for so long without indulging in it.” 

 Retreating from us, Baely clasped their hands behind their back. 

 “That being said, I don’t want to be here when you eventually give in so…” 

 Tilting their head to the side, they grinned with their tongue pinched between their teeth. 

 “Good night!” they said. 

 Spinning, they skipped toward the door with our answering ‘good nights’ chasing them. Once the door had slid closed behind them, Leski shook her head. 

 “That girl is definitely our daughter,” she said before focusing on me. “You talked to them?” 

 “I did,” I said. “I’m sorry that I didn’t before now.” 

 If only I’d realized what had been going on several months ago, maybe today wouldn’t have been so awkward. 

 “Why are you apologizing to me? I don’t need it,” Leski said, “and I don’t need an explanation for your behavior this afternoon either. What I do need to know is what you two were starting without me.” 

 Oh… how I loved her. 

 “What do you think we were doing?” I asked with a teasing grin. 

 “Oh, ho! Someone’s feeling better,” Leski said. 

 As she smirked, I pulled her to me. 

 “Mm…hmm,” I said. 

 Leski laughed while burying her face in my shoulder, which made Korix chuckle. 

 “Same as always, huh?” he said. 

 “Yes,” I said. “May we never change.” 

 I had no more words after that. Gathering my partners to me, I lost myself to them.

Chapter 43: Theories Based in Fact
Talira was making me stand for this meeting. I’d walked into her office, and not a single chair had been waiting for me on my side of her desk, which was how I knew she was truly pissed. She’d always used subtle signs to express her displeasure. 

 “Explain to me again how you let an Eighth Stratus get the drop on you. Slowly, this time,” she said. “I must be missing something because with the way you’ve told the story, you shouldn’t have gotten shot.” 

 Sighing, I shifted to my other foot, glancing over the view of Xygek behind my grandmother. 

 “You’re right. I shouldn’t have,” I said, “but instead, I made a mistake, and it almost saw me dead. I’m fine, though. Besides, this isn’t the first time I’ve courted death, my shukusen . You, more than anyone, should know that I will make mistakes. Eventually, one of them will kill me.” 

 I shrugged, slapping my hands to my thighs. 

 “Such is the life of the Lokke Vitras . All we can do is keep me alive until I’m prepared to take over your role.” 

 Which given that Talira knew how much I hated the House system, wouldn’t be anytime soon. Getting to her feet, my grandmother circled her desk, and after staring at me for a moment, she hauled back and slapped me. 

 “Stop that, you insufferable moron,” she hissed. “Self-pity? Morbid thinking? Forgetting to check your damn corners? You cannot afford these things, Zae-zae, and your family can’t take your loss, not while your kid's so young.” 

 Did she think I didn’t know this? 

 Wiping my mouth, I said, “Of course. I’ll be the first to admit that I’m the biggest of morons.” 

 Sometimes, it was best just to let her win. 

 Sighing, Talira pinched the bridge of her nose. 

 “Only at times,” she said before dropping her hands. “Come here.” 

 She spread her arms, and I was forced into a hug with her. Soon enough, though, she retreated from me before leaving her office, indicating that I should follow. 

 We took a lift down a few floors, somewhere we’d encounter mostly high Strata. All that meant, though, was that the passersby would try to ignore our presence rather than keeping their eyes glued to us. I still spied the occasional wide-eyed stare from them, but it was nothing compared to what we’d have seen at ground level. 

 I was curious where Talira was taking us. Usually, she stayed in her home or her office, save for when social functions required her elsewhere.  

 That wasn’t to say she was a shut-in, of course. If given the opportunity, she’d probably jump at the chance to walk in greater Xygek, but if I was the gun aimed at Lutov’s enemies, Talira was the one pointing me the right way. She also dealt with the bullshit paperwork that any bureaucracy required, meaning she had as little free time as me. 

 We could be headed to my office. Supposedly, I had one around here, but not only had I rarely used it, but I didn’t see the point of us going there. 

 In the end, her reasoning didn’t matter. Decades ago, I’d stopped trying to figure out how my grandmother thought. Why was I making an attempt at it now? 

 “Is there anything else I should know about?” Talira asked. “Any other near-death experiences?” 

 “No,” I said, “but Feena came to see me yesterday. She voiced her concerns about the events surrounding House Zan’s recent reorganization.” 

 I was curious how my grandmother would respond to this. Twenty-five years ago, she’d told me not to worry about Fifth Stratus Harvel’s culpability in those events. She’d promised she’d have someone look into it, and I was curious if that had actually happened. 

 Clicking her tongue, Talira said, “This again? I keep telling your sister that these suspicions are paranoid, but every time I think they’ve been laid to rest…” 

 She shook her head. 

 “Like I’ve told her on multiple occasions, don’t bother yourself with this, my Lokke Vitras. If there was a problem, I’d have told you long ago.” 

 “As you say, my shukusen,” I said. 

 I kept my gaze pinned to her back, though. Was she hiding something from me, or did I truly have nothing to worry about? 

 “Anything else?” Talira said. 

 “Not right now,” I said. “Lutov’s safe for the moment, although we both know that could change at any time.” 

 Stopping short, Talira whirled on me, and I barely stopped myself from bowling her over. 

 “Then, I have to wonder why you’re following me around like a lost puppy,” she says. “Shouldn’t you be doing your job?” 

 Oh. I see. This walk had been another form of punishment. 

 With my lips twitching, I said, “I shall depart your presence immediately, my shukusen.” 

 “Good,” Talira said, “but before you leave, heed me. I expect you to be writing my reports from the Lokke Vitras for a long while yet. Do you understand?” 

 That she loved me and was showing it in the only way she could? Yes. 

 Bowing deeply, I said, “I’m always at my shukusen’s disposal.” 

 “Wonderful!” Talira said, “You shukusen wants you gone now. So, shoo!” 

 Rising, I caught a glimpse of her wry grin before spinning on my heel. Once I was in a lift, I sent a message to Feena, and by the time I’d reached ground level, she’d provided me with a location for lunch: a hole-in-the-wall near Kolb’s headquarters. 

 Fortunately, I’d frequented this place often enough that the shop’s proprietors knew how to handle me. They ushered me to a private booth as soon as I arrived. 

 After a sound barrier had been raised around my booth, I slumped in my seat, prodding at my chest. I was almost back to normal, health-wise, but the remnants of my wounds were still sore. That shouldn’t be an issue, though. Considering my injuries weren’t hampering my movement, I wasn’t worried about the leftovers of my mishap, although that made them no less annoying. 

 Even with that on my plate, Feena had picked a good time to spring a request for help on me. As I pulled up my to-do list, I marveled at how short it was. I hadn’t had this light of a workload in forever, which had been nice. Among other benefits, it had let my dating life once more flourish. 

 Reminded of that, I pulled up my list of contacts, checking if I’d neglected any of them in recent days, but before I could start a message to anyone, Feena slid onto the bench opposite me. 

 “Have you ordered yet?” she asked. 

 “No. Wasn’t sure when you’d show up,” I said. “Now that you’re here, though…” 

 With a gesture, I retrieved this place’s menu, soon placing an order. I watched my sister make her own choice, and once she’d returned her focus to me, I folded my hands on the table. 

 “So?” 

 “I didn’t have breakfast this morning, Zae. I’m not talking about that until I have some food in my belly,” Feena said. “If you want a conversation, pick another topic.” 

 Seriously? She was going to make me wait even longer?  

 Really, though, that was fine because apparently, Feena had forgotten one important thing about our relationship. I was very good at playing this game she’d started. 

 “All right,” I said. “How’s life?” 

 Groaning, Feena slapped her hands to her face, which made me grin. Not only had my sister always hated small talk, but she disliked discussing her personal life, except under special circumstances. Those times usually involved alcohol, of which we had none at the moment. 

 “That’s right. I can be just as difficult as you,” I said. 

 “Understatement,” Feena said into her hands. 

 With no pity for her, I asked, “Does that mean you’re not answering the question?” 

 Sighing, Feena smacked the table between us. 

 “Life’s fine for me right now, as you well know,” she said. “If there were a problem, I’d have told you about it.” 

 “True,” I said. “Still, I had to ask. Are you still seeing that… what was his name? Fredrik?” 

 “No, we broke up last month. I’m single for the moment,” Feena said, “and before you say a word, you don’t get to give me dating advice. Not only am I your big sister, but our dating styles are too opposite for your advice to apply.” 

 Humming, I leaned on my elbows, cupping my face. 

 “I don’t know about that,” I said. “Some things transcend how many people someone dates. Like making sure you communicate with your partners.” 

 “You’re one to talk about communication and openness, Mr. I Have Too Many Secrets to Count,” Feena said. 

 “That’s true, but at the start of a relationship, I make sure a potential partner knows that I have secrets, ones I can’t share,” I said. “So…. communication.” 

 Leaning back, I spread my arms, and while Feena groaned, a drone brought us our food. 

 “Thank Mother Time,” my sister said. 

 I could only laugh at that. Something about frustrating my siblings had always been deeply satisfying for me. 

 “You have your food now, so you can start whenever you’re ready,” I said. 

 With an even louder groan, Feena threw her head back before proceeding to ignore me, at least for the first few bites of her meal. That was fine by me. It gave me time to enjoy my food as well. 

 Soon enough, though, Feena got to her story. 

 “So. The question of who asked House Zan for a weapon that broke the Concords,” she said. “Do you remember stealing a copy of First Stratus Teag’s ‘diary’ during that mission?” 

 “Of course I do,” I said. “How could I forget the night of the Pinpoint’s creation?” 

 The experiment that had led to the creation of an artificial wormhole near our planet was still a source of controversary in Lutov, even this many years later. If someone wasn’t protesting how many resources Cerullis had wasted on the ‘useless’ project, they were raising a fuss over its proximity to the planet or something equally as ridiculous. Because of this, I’d long ago despaired of seeing the experiment repeated. 

 “Did you ever read through that thing?” Feena asked. 

 Frowning, I said, “I scanned it. Saw nothing of note. Why?” 

 With a nod, Feena blew out a breath. 

 “That’s what I thought, not that I can blame you for missing what I found. Teag’s journal is innocuous at first glance,” she said. “I’m sending you some entries with the portions of greatest interest highlighted. Take a look at them.” 

 I opened the relevant message with a pit in my stomach, and as I glanced over my sister’s indicated passages, that sensation only grew. How had I missed this? 

 “Why does Teag keep mentioning our Fourth Stratus Elrin?” I said, mostly to myself. “I know that man fairly well. He’s not the type to betray his House, whether intentionally or not.” 

 “I’m surprised you focused on that, out of all the evidence I’ve presented to you,” Feena said. 

 Jerking free of my thoughts, I waved for her to calm down. 

 “Yes, the vague references to Zan and a ‘project’ are suggestive, and with that alone, I’d say we should investigate Teag,” I said, “but this bit about Elrin concerns me. Years ago, he oversaw a missing persons mission, one that I found important at the time. I helped him with it as much as I could, but even still, we never found those people.” 

 “You think Cerullis was involved?” Feena said. 

 Humming, I took another bite of my food. 

 “Maybe,” I said. “I find that hard to believe, though. Knowing Sanya as well as I do, I doubt she’d have approved of something so horrible. She’s much too decent of a person to have allowed it, and Teag’s too attached to her. He wouldn’t have kidnapped citizens for an unknown reason, especially if Sanya disapproved of it.” 

 I had no clue how those two had kept their relationship a secret for so many years, but I applauded them for it, even if I also wished they could share how they felt. They were in love. That much would be obvious to anyone paying attention, and it was why Teag would never do anything to make Sanya uncomfortable. At the same time, love made people do stupid things at times. I could see Teag abducting people if he’d thought doing so would keep Sanya safe. 

 I’d never think that of her, though. Never her. Over the last twenty-five years, she and I had worked together too often for me to believe her capable of it. If she possessed a treacherous or malicious bone in her body, I’d know about it. 

 Which was why I said. 

 “We should talk to Cerullis’ shukusen and see how she responds to this. Perhaps she won’t have a clue about Teag’s activities. Perhaps she’ll have an explanation for him. Whatever the case may be, there’s no harm in consulting with her.” 

 Drawing her eyebrows together, Feena said, “You may trust shukusen Sanya, and I understand why you do, but… what if she was the one who ordered the neurotoxin from Zan, using Teag as her go-between?” 

 “Then, I’ll have to question my instincts more than I already am,” I said, “but if I’ve misjudged Sanya, then I’ll deal with it. After the other shukusenth I’ve dealt with, do you think I couldn’t handle a third?” 

 “I think…” 

 With a heavy sigh, Feena slumped before grinning at me. 

 “I think that if you let yourself try, you could do anything, little brother.” 

 If I let myself…? 

 Pointing at the remnants of my meal, she continued, “Are you going to finish that? Because otherwise, we should leave. Right?” 

 That would be wise, yes.  

 I should probably talk to Talira before interrogating another shukusen, but given what she’d said earlier and what Feena had shown me now, I thought she was hiding something from me, although I wasn’t sure what it was. Maybe she was embarrassed about missing this discrepancy. Maybe the current crop of rebels in Ibis was keeping her preoccupied. 

 Whatever she was concealing, it couldn’t hurt me or Lutov. That was impossible, but even still, I couldn’t bring myself to request a connection with her. 

 So, instead, I scooped a spoonful of food off of my plate, taking a slow bite, and with a huff, Feena got up, leaving the booth and me in her dust. Laughing, I pushed my plate away before scrambling to follow her.

Chapter 44: Testing the Theory
On stepping inside House Cerullis’ headquarters, I headed straight for the welcome desk with Feena by my side. She gave me a strange look for this, probably wondering why I’d stop here when I had the credentials needed to go anywhere in this tower. I didn’t bother explaining to her that I liked cultivating the associations I’d formed in this House. 

 It didn’t help that the receptionist stationed here today was a lovely woman, someone I’d sporadically dated. 

 “Hi, Calia! It’s good to see you!” I called as we approached. “Is your shukusen here?” 

 I already knew that she was. Why would we have walked here if the person we needed to speak with had been elsewhere? Being polite had never hurt anybody, though. 

 “Oh, Zae! Hello,” Calia said. “Yes, shukusen Sanya’s here. Would you like to see her? It’ll be a few minutes.” 

 “That’s fine. We don’t mind waiting, for a time at least,” I said. “Please let me know if it’ll be longer than a half-hour, though.” 

 “Will do,” Calia said before hesitating. “Can we catch up soon? It feels like forever since I last saw you.” 

 “That’s because it’s been two months, one week, and three days,” I said, “and yes. I’d love to catch up soon. I’ll let you know as soon as I have time, and hopefully, our schedules will align.” 

 Giggling, Calia said, “Sounds good. I’ll find you as soon as the shukusen’s ready to see you.” 

 I dropped into an exaggerated bow, which made her laugh even harder, before finding a quiet corner where Feena and I could wait. 

 “You’re dating her?” she said once we’d found one. “She seems…” 

 “Young?” I said. “That’s because she is. Calia’s House naming was only two years ago. What of it?” 

 After giving me an odd look, Feena said, “What? No! I was going to say ‘not your type’. Why jump straight to age? Once someone's reached adulthood, It has no relevance.” 

 Wincing, I leaned against a wall while crossing my arms. 

 “Yes, I know. And I’m sorry about jumping down your throat. I’ve been getting pushback about my dating habits recently, odd as that might seem,” I said. “There’s a reason for it, though Did you notice anything different about the way Calia was treating me? Not as someone she’s dating but as the Lokke Vitras, I mean.” 

 With a frown, Feena said, “She did seem a little… casual.” 

 “Exactly,” I said. “I’ve been entrenched as the Lokke Vitras for a while now, and we’re reaching a time where people from the younger generation are losing their fear of the position. It’s gratifying to see, but certain individuals don’t like the change. They especially don’t like that because of it, I’ve focused my romantic energy on a younger crowd in recent years, but really, those people should have expected it. Dating someone who’s not afraid of me is so much easier than the opposite.” 

 I shrugged. 

 “But this change in attitude has been slow to take hold of the populace. It’s not that common, even among the young, so if you haven’t noticed the shift, it wouldn’t surprise me.” 

 “I definitely haven’t, but now that you’ve mentioned it, it explains a few discrepancies I’ve noticed recently,” Feena said. “I’m sorry people are sticking their noses into your dating life again. That must be frustrating.” 

 Again, I shrugged. 

 “It’s my life. I got used to it a long time ago,” I said. “We should get comfortable, though. From what Calia said, we might be here for a while.” 

 “Right,” Feena sourly said. 

 She didn’t complain about this like she clearly wanted to, though. We fell into our separate worlds, working through our arrays or otherwise occupying ourselves. I didn’t know exactly how long Sanya kept us waiting, but when Calia gathered us, much less time had passed than I’d expected. 

 Why was the shukusen being so courteous? She and I might be friendly with each other, much more so than I was with other work associates, but she was still a head of House. Her schedule was usually packed, and clearing it for a meeting with me would have been a pain. As we took a lift to the top of the tower, I tried not to question my luck, and once there, Feena and I entered Sanya’s office. 

 Fortunately, this place had changed from when her predecessor, Alezand, had claimed it. Rather than a dark room, full of display cases, Sanya’s office was bright and airy with a sunroof letting light inside. This was good, considering the sheer number of plants growing here. Every time I visited, I found a new species of bush or flower in this place, and save for a scattering of furniture nearby, I could swear that I’d stepped into the Preserve. 

 And of course, there was Sanya. Unlike when timidity was forced upon her, the shukusen was in her element here. When she saw me coming, she spread her arms with a beaming smile, hurrying to give me a hug. 

 “Zaeden! How good to see you!” she said. “I wasn’t expecting a visit.” 

 As always, I returned her hug, although I wasn’t as enthusiastic with it as I would be with other people. Sanya had always been more wary of aggressive behavior than most, sometimes jumping if I moved too quickly around her. I wasn’t sure why that was, but doing small things to make her more comfortable took little energy from me. Why not make the effort? 

 “It was spur of the moment, I’m afraid,” I said. “Sorry if I’ve upset your plans.” 

 “Oh, please. I can always make time for you,” Sanya said. “Now, who’s your friend?” 

 I gestured to my sister. 

 “This is Second Stratus Feena,” I said. “You may have heard me mention her before?” 

 “Only every time I ask about your family,” Sanya said. “It’s good to finally meet you, my dear.” 

 Internally, I winced. Because I knew Sanya, I also knew that last tidbit hadn’t been meant to sound condescending. The shukusen was just awkward at times, which was part of her charm for me, but Feena didn’t take well to others looking down on her, whether intentionally or not. Fortunately, she only smiled while taking Sanya’s offered hand. 

 “Always a pleasure to meet a shukusen,” she said. 

 Again, I winced, knowing that to be a hidden jab. Feena had stopped caring about people’s Strata a long time ago, probably around when she’d been named a Chosen, and this meant she didn’t give a damn about Sanya’s position. The shukusen didn’t know that, though, merely returning Feena’s smile. 

 “Let’s take a seat,” she said. “Do you mind if we’re more informal today? I have some stuffy meetings later. We’re getting ready for this month’s assembly.” 

 “Please. You know how I feel about formality,” I said. 

 Laughing, Sanya said, “That, I do.” 

 She led us deeper into her office, and once plants had hidden the city around us, she and I sank into the grass with Feena shortly following us. Absently, Sanya started picking at our natural carpet, twirling plucked blades between her fingers, and I watched, waiting for her to make the first move. 

 “How’s your family?” Sanya eventually asked. 

 Which made me shift in place. Not only was I the only one here who’d established a family outside of the one I’d been born into, but I knew something more lay behind the question. Every time I saw Sanya, she asked about my girls, of course. Most of her attention was focused on Korix, though, and considering how often he’d returned the favor for her in recent years, I knew something lay between them. I’d never asked what it was, content to let them share it in their own time, but their behavior did leave me with questions. 

 Who was Sanya to my life partner? At some point, had she and Korix dated? Had he saved her life when he’d been the Lokke Vitras, or worse, was she related to one of his victims? 

 I knew she couldn’t be his friend. He got out of the house so rarely that this possibility was nonexistent, and as far as I knew, his birth family was dead. So, how did she fit into his life? 

 Given how often both of them had avoided the subject, I was unlikely to find out any time soon. 

 “They’re good,” I said in answer. “My kid's House naming’s coming up—” 

 Apparently. 

 “—and for now, Leski’s focusing on House business instead of her music and dancing. In other words, everything’s the same as usual.” 

 And I waited, wondering if Sanya would fill the gap that I’d left for her. 

 As expected, she said, “What about Korix? Is he well?” 

 “Yes. Very much so,” I said. “He just finished a final round of revisions on his book. Now, he has to decide whether he’ll release it under his name or a pseudonym. I expect the decision will take him a while.” 

 Breaking into a laugh, Sanya slapped a hand to her mouth, highlighting how bright her eyes had gone, and I smiled at the sight. Why did seeing people happy always spark a warm glow in me? 

 “Oh, you know him well, but of course you do,” she soon gasped. “I’ve never seen two people better suited for each other. In many ways, the two of you remind me of that old Ostium legend. How does it go? Some people have ‘someone to complete their song’. Right?” 

 For that last part, she’d turned dignified, which made me want to grimace. Much as I wanted to, I wouldn’t get into my opinion on how much my people belittled Ostium and Ibisian beliefs as she just had, especially not when she was a shukusen . Even if she was the most reasonable one I’d ever met, I couldn’t be sure how well such criticism would be received. 

 “I’ve always wondered about that, you know,” Feena said. “Sometimes, Ko and Zae seem to fit each other a little too well.” 

 Snorting a laugh, Sanya said, “You said it, not me.” 

 For some reason, that made Feena’s eye twitch. Maybe she was annoyed at how long I was taking to get to the point. 

 As if to prove me right, she said, “If you’ll excuse my frankness, shukusen, we didn’t come here to discuss my brother’s family.” 

 “No, of course not.” 

 Releasing her blades of grass, Sanya folded her hands in her lap, smiling at me. 

 “Why have I been honored by the presences of Kolb’s First Stratus as well as one of their esteemed Second Strata?” she asked. 

 My sister looked like she was biting her tongue to keep from speaking, and I felt for her, truly. She’d done the work to get us here. She deserved to explain her suspicions, but unfortunately, she’d brought me with her to this confrontation. Much as we’d dropped formality and decorum to this point, we couldn’t completely abandon it, and these customs demanded that I be the one to speak. 

 So, controlling my grimace, I opened my mouth. 

 “We’re here about a mission I was involved with at the time of House Zan’s recent reorganization,” I said, watching Sanya’s face. “Do you remember that period of trouble?” 

 If the shukusen knew where I was going with this, she didn’t show it. 

 Frowning, she said, “Of course I do. Kolb accused Arion of breaking the Concords, and after presenting their evidence of this at an assembly, the other shukusenth agreed with them. At the subsequent trial, he was removed from his position and stripped of House while your brother took his place. Your family emerged from that conflict with great success! So many of you are in positions of power now, but that’s not your point. What is?” 

 I wasn’t sure if she’d brought up Pheniks as a distraction or not. Sanya knew how rocky my relationship with my brother had been over the last two and a half decades, but considering how public our lives were, who didn’t know about the bad blood between us? 

 Was Sanya trying to change the subject? If she was, I couldn’t indulge her in that, much as I might like to. I wasn’t looking forward to the accusation I must soon make. 

 “That’s true, but it’s not the full story,” I said. “What Kolb failed to tell the other Houses is that Arion was only an accomplice in that plot. During his trial, I was on a deep-cover mission in your House to find the mastermind behind our troubles, and after several months, I accomplished that goal. I thought the matter had been laid to rest, but Feena has brought new details to my attention, details that have called that assumption into question." 

 Telling her I’d made a mistake had been a calculated risk on my part. No matter how much I might fight to change the public’s opinion about the Lokke Vitras, that struggle was only in its beginning stages. The vast majority of Lutov, including Sanya, believed that I was invincible, ridiculous as I might find it, and this belief was one that I must carefully dismantle. Mess it up, and Kolb would lose an unacceptable amount of power, something that could devastate Lutov. That House was already struggling to maintain the peace here. 

 I hoped that showing Sanya this vulnerability would help her relax. When the time came, it could push her into opening up, assuming she had anything to share. 

 If she did, she was hiding it well. Cocking her head, she eyed me with puzzlement spreading across her features. 

 “I see,” she said. “What does that have to do with me?” 

 When Feena shifted beside me, I rested a hand on her knee. She needed to keep quiet for a little while longer. Accusing a First Stratus of breaking the Concords was a delicate maneuver. Getting that accusation to stick on Arion had taken over six months, and while he’d been a shukusen, the same difficulty would be found here, if Teag was guilty of anything in the first place. 

 Given how brash my sister could be at times and considering how much I liked Sanya, I wanted to present this subject in a way she’d find palatable. Fortunately, I knew her well enough to do that. 

 “Shukusen. Based on the information I’ve learned, I believe your First Stratus might have been involved in the plot,” I said. “Feena and I have come here so you can defend him, if you feel the need.” 

 Short. Direct. To the point. As she’d always liked hearing bad news. 

 At my words, Sanya fell still with her face going blank. I couldn’t see anything there, and this confused me. Not many people outside of Kolb had mastered this look so well, least of all someone like Sanya. 

 After a moment, she said in monotone, “I see. You have evidence to back this accusation?” 

 “We do,” I said, nodding to Feena. 

 After my sister had sent the shukusen everything she’d already given me, we waited for Sanya to read it, and all the while, I examined her, wondering what she was thinking. After reviewing Feena’s findings, would she draw the same conclusions I had? What would she think of her lover’s betrayal, if it was one? Would she have an explanation to erase my doubts about Teag’s loyalty to Lutov? 

 Please, say that she would. If there was one thing I abhorred about my role, it was when I was forced to tear loved ones apart. 

 Soon enough, Sanya refocused on me and Feena. She looked calm but not in a way that relieved me. The expression on her face only made prickles run over my skin while my fingers itched for a weapon, which… 

 Shit. Mother Time, let me be wrong. 

 “I’ll admit that this looks pretty damning,” Sanya said, “but your theory’s wrong, Lokke Vitras.” 

 “Oh?” I said. “How would you explain what you’ve read, then?” 

 Please, please, please, please, please… 

 With a sad smile, Sanya said, “Simply put, Teag isn’t the culprit you’re looking for. He was only following my orders, after all.”

Chapter 45: Whether to Help
Feena started surging for her feet, but my fingers, hooked in her belt loop, sent her crashing back into the grass. The instant she hit the ground, I released my hold, snatching her wrist to keep her from lifting her rifle. 

 Never looking away from Sanya, I hissed, “Second Stratus, you will follow my lead.” 

 After a breath, Feena relaxed under my grip. 

 “Yes, Lokke Vitras,” she said. 

 Good. I hadn’t been sure if she’d listen to me. If she’d pulled rank as a Chosen—did that put her above or below me?—it would have been disastrous. 

 “Please forgive my sister, shukusen Sanya,” I said. “Even high Stratus as she is, she’s always been too emotional for her own good.” 

 Frozen solid to this point, Sanya slowly nodded in acknowledgment of what I’d said, not that I could blame her for her sluggishness. She’d probably never had to deal with violence before. 

 “Wonderful!” I said. “Now, if you could please confirm your admission of guilt for breaking the Concords, we’ll head to Kolb’s headquarters so Talira can speak with you. Unless you have something you’d like to add?” 

 Sanya shivered, and I wondered why. It wasn’t cold in here. Was she just now realizing what sort of consequences she might face for her actions? 

 “Mother Time, you’re terrifying like this,” she whispered. “I’ve always wondered why people say you’re the coldest Lokke Vitras that Lutov’s ever seen, but I see it now. Hell, you’re more intimidating than Korix was when he- when he wasn’t Korix, and that’s saying something.” 

 Oh. I was in mission mode. Of course she was reacting the way she had. When had I reached that state? 

 Shaking the question off, I raised an eyebrow at her seemingly unrelated tangent, and Sanya lifted her hands. 

 “Before you decide what to do with me, I’d like to show you why I broke the Concords,” she said. “I know that’s asking a lot, considering how thoroughly I’ve betrayed your trust in me, but please, Lokke Vitras. Whatever fate you choose for me after I’m done, I’ll happily accept, but let me have this.” 

 Was that why I was in mission mode? I’d liked Sanya. She’d given me hope that perhaps together, we could push Lutov out of its stagnancy, but if she’d ‘destroyed my trust’—what little of it I might have had—then that dream was dead. Again. 

 And I’d long ago learned how to protect myself from something that would hurt me so badly. 

 Feena shifted beside me, and I cast these thoughts aside, considering the request the shukusen had made. Even in mission mode as I was, Sanya looked earnest to me. I had no doubt that she would walk into the Tainted Lands if it would get me to listen and- and- 

 Well. I liked her. Not had liked. Liked. She was timid but fierce, when she needed to be. She was innovative and willing to break the mold, if it got her what she needed. I could give her one damn chance. 

 “You have my leave to explain,” I said. 

 At those words, Sanya slumped with relief, but Feena tensed under my hold. 

 “Zaeden-!” she started. 

 “Yes, Second Stratus?” I mildly interrupted. 

 Considering how tense the resulting silence was, I could only imagine the struggle my sister was undertaking to contain her temper. 

 “Forgive me, Lokke Vitras,” she eventually said, “but… but this is a terrible idea.” 

 Ha! Couldn’t completely control herself, it seemed. 

 “I’ll keep your opinion in mind,” I said. “Shukusen, you may begin.” 

 Nodding, Sanya started getting to her feet, and I shot my hand up, pointing my rifle at her face. With her breath catching, Sanya became a statue, swallowing hard before she could speak. 

 “If I’m to explain, I’ll have to show you something in the sub-levels,” she said. “Lokke Vitras, you know mw. I’m not an idiot. I know that if I tried to run, I wouldn’t get far before you put an energy bolt in my head, and I don’t want to die. I would much rather suffer the humiliation of exile. So, please. Let me do what I must to move this along?” 

 When I searched Sanya, I saw no sign of deceit, so I dissipated my rifle, making Feena suck in a breath, and waved for the shukusen to proceed. My sister and I followed her to the lift with Feena a seething ball of disapproval beside me, but once we were there, I stepped in front of Sanya. 

 “Which sub-level?” I asked. 

 “B-9,” Sanya said. 

 With a nod, I said, “Feena?” 

 Relaxing, my sister set our destination into the lift’s controls before stepping into it, and I waited, giving her plenty of time to secure our arrival point, before stepping to the side. Holding my gaze, Sanya shook her head. 

 “I meant it, Zaeden. I won’t try to escape,” she said, “and I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you about this sooner.” 

 She paused for a moment, although I wasn’t sure why she had. How on earth could I have replied to that? Eventually, though, I made Sanya uncomfortable enough to follow Feena. 

 When I rejoined my companions, I found them in the foyer to an area I knew well, if one that had been moved several floors below ground. While following Sanya, I glanced around Aeronautics, this place where I’d spent six months of my life, and caught Feena’s eye. What were we doing here? 

 We passed former colleagues while moving along, and although I drew eyes, it was because of who I was and nothing more. Feena, however, they knew. Whispers rose behind us, things like ‘Laylah’ and ‘damn Kolb operative’, and I winced at how tightly those comments drew my sister’s shoulder blades together. I’d always dislikedthis part of deep-cover missions. 

 Eventually, we stepped into a room with desks and storecases scattered around a holodrama plate, and as soon as she saw our group, the woman inside hurried to greet us. 

 “Shukusen! How can I-?” Second Stratus Janyka said before stopping short. “Laylah! I thought you’d moved on. What are you…?” 

 She trailed off, taking in Feena’s attire, and when I smiled at her, she gasped, falling back a step. 

 “Second Stratus, everything’s fine,” Sanya said. “Please, collect yourself and take your work elsewhere. I need this equipment.” 

 Still bug-eyed, Janyka nodded before fleeing the room. Mother Time, I hated that I had that effect on people. 

 How long would it be before she spread the news of what she’d seen? Enough people had seen me in the lobby earlier that the entirety of House Cerullis probably knew I was here by now, but the fact that I’d accompanied their shukusen to this specific department would have people watching me and my sister with extreme suspicion for the rest of our visit. 

 Sanya either hadn’t thought about this or didn’t care because without a comment on Janyka’s departure, she breezed into the room and turned on the holodrama plate when she reached it. An image of the sun—of all things—flickered into being above it, and after a moment, I cocked my head at its rotating mass. Why did it look wrong? 

 “My story is, unfortunately, quite similar to my predecessors,” Sanya said. “During the course of our research, Cerullis stumbled upon a phenomenon that could destroy life on this planet as we know it. I’m guessing you see something’s different about our solar system’s star?” 

 “Yes,” I said, squinting at the image. 

 What the hell was I missing? 

 “Don’t feel bad if you can’t distinguish the change,” Sanya said. “It’s subtle and so unbelievable that most people refuse to see it until someone points it out. Even after that, some people continue to deny it, no matter how many reports my House writes about it.” 

 I was assuming she was referring to the reports that every House submitted to the others, sharing significant discoveries to acquire more resources. They crossed my desk at times, but usually, I only had time to glance over them before moving on to tasks more suited to my specialty. I left the in-depth reading to Talira. Considering how often I’d mentioned this in the past, Sanya knew about it, meaning that comment hadn’t been aimed at me. Had she been deprecating Talira, then? 

 Stepping forward, Feena snarled at Sanya. 

 “And what is it?” 

 Damn, she’d sounded annoyed, not that I could blame her. This visit probably wasn’t going the way she’d had planned. 

 Turning to the hologram, Sanya gazed at it with her arms crossed behind her back. 

 “Our sun is larger than it should be,” she said. 

 Oh. Yes, that made- 

 Sucking in a breath, I jerked my head to Sanya. 

 “What?” I said.  

 In the next instant, Feena hissed, “How?” 

 Taking a deep breath, Sanya met our eyes before saying. 

 “We don’t know. Not specifically, at least. Here’s what we do have.” 

 After she played with the air, the hologram of our sun zoomed in until only a portion of it remained in view, and against that background, a structure of alien design floated. It was unlike any satellite that Lutov had produced, although something about the protrusions hugging its exterior tickled at my memory. Something about the vehicle we’d used to resolve the Ancient’s Crisis. 

 “What is that?” Feena asked. 

 “Again, we don’t know,” Sanya said, “but its origin seems fairly clear-” 

 “It was made by those from beyond the stars,” I quietly interrupted. 

 I was starting to see where this was going, and I didn’t like it. Looking at this image, I was reminded of a time when I’d stood in front of a hologram like this, and the image of our sun had shimmered before jumping in size. At the time, I’d thought that I’d lost my brother while an Ancient, an enemy of those from beyond the stars, had been in my body, trying to kill me, so I’d mostly forgotten about what I’d seen. Until now. 

 Were those events related to what I was currently looking at, and if so, how long had Cerullis sat on this problem? 

 “Trust you to see it so quickly,” Sanya said. “The best we can tell, that structure—whatever it is—is adding mass to our sun. You can guess the possible consequences of that, Lokke Vitras.” 

 Numbly, I nodded. If left alone, such a change in a star, the origin of so much energy that it baffled the mind, could wipe out life on our planet, at the least. 

 “We theorize that after the Ancients defeated them in the war, those from beyond the stars left that structure as a parting gift, their final revenge in a way,” Sanya said. “It’s working slowly, so we have a few centuries before our sun reaches a tipping point but…” 

 That didn’t mean we should ignore the problem. 

 “Why would our old enemy do something like this? Why not choose a quick method of revenge?” I asked, mostly of myself. “By making the process progress so slowly, did some among them hope to give us a chance, or are they taunting us, sure in the knowledge that we can’t stop their plan?” 

 “Does it matter?” Feena said. “If what you’ve shown us is real—and I’m not sure it is—then it must relate to why you broke the Concords. You should finish explaining that, shukusen.” 

 I already knew what Sanya would say, though. 

 “She commissioned the neurotoxin as a last resort,” I said. “If worst came to worst, it would force the other Houses into working with Cerullis while they researched this structure. Considering our circumstances, they’d probably end up needing it too. All of that makes sense to me.” 

 While Feena glared at me, probably wondering what I was doing, Sanya relaxed, but if she thought I’d been swayed to leave things along, she had another thing coming. I wasn’t done yet. 

 “Which leaves the question of why you kidnapped so many people while having the weapon developed. Given how often Teag mentioned Elrin’s missing persons mission in his journal, it follows that they’re a part of this somehow,” I said. “Were they your test subjects? Did you unleash your neurotoxin on them?” 

 A weapon to dissolve someone’s nervous system. What would that feel like while it killed you? 

 Perhaps Sanya had heard the hidden violence in my voice because she gasped, clenching her hands until their knuckles turned white, while tears sprang into her eyes. 

 “Yes,” she simply said. 

 Before the impact of her words could hit me, though Sanya gestured at the air. An image of an alien structure, floating around the sun, was replaced with the visage of a pretty woman, and I stopped breathing. How many times had I stared at that face while scanning Elrin’s reports? 

 “My name is Valef, and I am a Seventh Stratus of House Drav,” she said. “After ninety-six years of life, I’ve decided that I’m ready to join the Collective, but rather than taking the easy way out, I want to use my life’s end to advance a worthy cause. 

 “If you’re hearing this, Lokke Vitras, know that I’m honored by how diligently you’ve searched for us. First Stratus Teag has kept us appraised of your investigation into our disappearances, and after hearing about it, my companions and I suggested that he make these recordings so you’ll understand. 

 “None of us were kidnapped, and any horror that we’ve undergone here was done with our permission. First Stratus Teag and shukusen Sanya have been careful about making sure that this is what we want. After hearing what they had to say, however, how could we do anything less than agree to help? 

 “I don’t know about the others, but your example has inspired me to make this choice of self-sacrifice, Lokke Vitras , so please. Whoever brought you here, listen to them. Help them, and only enact justice for us after our goal has been achieved. 

 “Thank you for listening to my words.” 

 Her image winked out, but I still saw the ghost of it every time I blinked. Hell, I needed to breathe, but I couldn’t focus on that life-essential task. My mind was too fixed on Valef’s words. 

 Your example has inspired me… 

 “I have one for them all,” Sanya said. 

 Closing my eyes, I turned away, noting Feena’s soft sob. 

 “You manipulative bitch,” she whispered. 

 “Yes,” Sanya said. “I’m sorry.” 

 I didn’t know how long it took me to collect myself, but when I turned back to her, Sanya had moved closer. 

 As if already knowing what I’d need, she said, “As soon as the world’s safe, Zaeden. Teag and I will accept whatever punishment you think we deserve as soon as it’s over.” 

 Why? Why did I still trust her? Why did I still like her? 

 Licking my lips, I roughly asked, “What do you need?” 

 I half-expected Feena to protest that question, but she just hugged herself, looking away. Did she think I was making a mistake? Would she say anything if she did? 

 “An assembly is scheduled for the end of the week,” Sanya said. 

 Nodding, I said, “I’m aware.” 

 “At that meeting, I plan to put our proposal to reinstate Lutov’s space program to a vote,” Sanya said. “I need it to pass. Can you make that happen?” 

 Who did she think she was talking to? 

 “I can,” I said. “For that, though, I’ll need all of your research into what’s destabilizing our sun as well as your reports on the experiments you’ve run. I’ll also need copies of the… recordings.” 

 She’d know what I meant. 

 “Of course,” Sanya said, “and if you need anything else, please contact me directly. I’ll answer you, no matter what I might be involved with." 

 “You’d better,’ Feena said under her breath. 

 Ignoring her, I said, “My thanks, shukusen . If it’s all the same to you, I’d like to get started now. My schedule has suddenly filled up.” 

 “Please,” Sanya said, gesturing toward the door. 

 After a bow, I hurried out of the room with Feena on my heel, and as we left, I never saw my surroundings or the people nearby, surely staring. I navigated out of the tower on instinct alone, and only once sunlight was warming our skin did Feena break the silence she’d maintained. 

 “Are you ok?” she asked. 

 Was I? Mission mode was making it hard to tell. 

 “I will be,” I eventually said. 

 I had to be.

Chapter 46: What Next?
When we reached Feena’s apartment, I hardly registered it, although I was surprised that my unconscious feet had led us here. Why here and not my home? 

 Once we were inside, Feena pulled ahead of me, guiding the way to her kitchen, and while I took a seat, she fiddled with her refectory. I ran my eyes over the pictures on the walls here, once again gratified to see so many children of Ibis smiling with my sister. I’d always wondered when she’d join the people who advocated for Ibisian rights, like I’d always wanted to do. Did she know how much I’d support that decision? 

 Finished with the refectory, my sister thrust a glass of amber liquid at me. A whiskey sour. She’d made me my favorite drink when she knew why I hardly touched alcohol anymore. 

 “Feena…” I said. 

 “It’s just one drink, Zae,” Feena snapped. “I won’t let you have more, and trust me. You need it.” 

 Sighing, I accepted the glass, sipping from it while she sat. Mother Time, that tasted good. For a while, we sat in silence, enjoying our indulgences, until Feena rested her glass on the table. 

 Twirling it between her hands, she asked, “Are you sure about this?” 

 Tiredly, I nodded. 

 “As sure as I can be,” I said, “but the fact that I hold Sanya in high regard and the nature of this issue might be clouding my judgment. We both know I’ve always wanted to get off of this cursed rock. So, what do you think?” 

 How relieved was I for the opportunity to ask her that? Here, no recorders were watching, showing my uncertainty to others. I didn’t have to be the Lokke Vitras. I could just be Zaeden, asking my older sister for the advice I so desperately needed. 

 She looked torn, though. Chewing on her lip, she stared into the distance before sharply nodding. As she opened her mouth to answer me, however, a direct connection established in my array, and I lifted a finger toward her, wincing in anticipation of what I’d soon hear. 

 “What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” Talira growled at me. 

 Yeah, that was about what I’d thought. She must have heard about my visit with Sanya. 

 “Well, hello to you too,” I said. “Care to be more specific-?” 

 “I told you to leave the Cerullis situation alone,” Talira snapped. 

 I raised my eyebrows. When mentioning Feena’s concerns to my grandmother this morning, I’d never shared that Cerullis might be involved with that. At the time, I hadn’t even known they were, so how did she? Was her suspicion simply coming from which headquarters I’d visited? 

 With a hissing inhale, Talira let it out through her teeth. 

 “Zae-zae, listen to me,” she said. “Whatever your sister has roped you into, you need to drop it. Now. Do you hear me?” 

 Oo, I wanted to do what she’d said. I wanted to ignore this problem, handing it off to someone I trusted, but in the past, doing that had fucked me over too many times. In a way, trusting an authority figure had been what had started the Ancients Crisis. I was never letting a catastrophe that deadly threaten Lutov again. So, I set my jaw and said. 

 “Why? Is there a reason you’re being so hands-off with Cerullis? And why have you shown shukusen Sanya such favor in recent years? Please, Talira. I want to do as I’m told, but first, you need to tell me why I should.” 

 “No.” 

 Tensed all to hell, I waited for her to say more. There had to be more because a direct refusal wasn’t Talira’s style. She suggested and subtly showed the way, or she turned sarcastic and hurtful, but it was never just ‘no’. Even still, a solid minute ticked by with only silence to fill it, and I had to decide. Did I trust my grandmother? Was what she was hiding beneficial for Lutov and therefore, the people I loved? 

 Or had she made a mistake? She might not have the information that I did. If she did have it, could experience have shown her a better way to handle our current problem? 

 Really, though, the only relevant question was what good could come from me standing idly by in this matter. I was Talira’s greatest weapon. Why wasn’t she putting me to use? Sure, taking no action could be the best choice at times, but was this one of those situations? 

 Mother Time, I hoped I was making the right decision. 

 “I hear your words, my shukusen,” I said, “and I will obey.” 

 “Good,” Talira said. “What will you be doing instead?” 

 I shrugged, even knowing she wouldn’t see it. 

 “I might head home for the day. Spend more time with Baely before her House naming,” I said, “or I might go to Ibis. There have been more disturbances in Flosa than normal lately, and I’d like to check on them.” 

 “I see. Yes, those plans are good uses of your time,” Talira said. “Keep me updated, my Lokke Vitras, and stay away from Cerullis. Do not make me tell you again.” 

 She cut the connection while I was halfway through a response, and slumping, I drained what was left of my drink. 

 “What was that about?” Feena asked. 

 “Our grandmother, in all of her great wisdom,” I said, broadly waving, “has ordered me to abandon the task the shukusen Sanya has given us.” 

 Resting the glass on the table, I thunked my elbows onto it so I could rub my face, watching Feena through my fingers. 

 “And…. will you do that?” she asked. 

 “Well, that would depend on what you were going to say before that little interruption, wouldn’t it?” I said. 

 Throwing myself into my chair, I crossed my arms. Hell, I could use a second drink. Seemed I could also use a reminder of why I rarely touched the stuff anymore. 

 “I think… I think that ignoring Sanya's problem would be a mistake,” Feena said, “but I also think that my directive as a Chosen, now that I’ve shown you my findings, is to follow your lead.” 

 Great. No pressure there. 

 “Then, we need to more shukusenth to pledge their votes to Sanya’s proposal,” I said. “Obviously, she’ll vote for it, and once I’ve thrown my weight behind it, Talira will have no choice but to lean that way too. We can’t show Lutov how much she and I disagree behind closed doors.” 

 I rolled my eyes, but Feena didn’t notice, too busy squinting at thin air. 

 “I should take Phen and Marza,” she said. “Since Baely came around, things have been tense between you and Drav’s shukusen and Phen…” 

 “Is an entirely separate disaster, I know.” 

 Somehow, I shunted my thoughts away from my brother, focusing instead on how grateful I was to my sister. She’d suggested the course of action I’d wanted to take. I’d told Talira I might be headed to Ibis for a reason. 

 “So, that’ll leave me Orin and Raelle,” I said. “I can handle them, even if Raelle’s always been cold with me.” 

 I’d never been sure why that was. Had I insulted her in some way? 

 “Don’t worry. I’m sure you’ll do fine,” Feena said. “You’re the great Lokke Vitras, after all.” 

 Fast as lightning, I swatted at her, but she was faster, leaving me smacking the air. Laughing, she pointed at my empty glass. 

 “Feeling better?” she asked. 

 Making a face, I said, “A little. Meeting with Sanya might have gotten to me. Thanks for noticing how much I needed it.” 

 When I shook the glass, Feena smiled. 

 “Sometimes, you make it fucking obvious, Zae,” she said. “So, a mission in Ibis. Will you bring Leski with you?” 

 Ah. That was why I’d brought us here instead of my home. Should I involve my wife in this massive clusterfuck? 

 “Not yet,” I said. “If it starts getting dangerous, I will, but not yet.” 

 Feena nodded with no judgment on her face. 

 “Are you headed there immediately, or will you take a break first?” she asked. 

 “We should make good use of the time we have, yes?” 

 When I stood, Feena followed suit before pulling me to her. 

 “Good luck in Ibis. I’ll start with Phen soon,” she said before thrusting me away. “You know the way out, right?” 

 Rolling my eyes, I said, “Of course I do, and don’t worry. I’ll take the hint. See you soon.” 

 With a cheeky grin, Feena pushed me toward the door, and sighing, I walked through it. Once I was outside, I requested a direct connection with Damari, which they quickly accepted. 

 “Hey, LV!” they chirped. “Didn’t I see you yesterday?” 

 “What a coincidence, yes! I think you might have,” I said before grinning. “Are you busy? I could use a good pilot.” 

 “Fortunately for you, I’m free,” Damari said. “Where are we headed?” 

 Mother Time love my friend for keeping their curiosity to themselves. If they’d asked what we were doing, I didn’t know how I’d have answered. 

 “Ibis, specifically Flosa,” I said, “and I should warn you before we go: Talira hasn’t approved what I plan to do there.” 

 “Ah, so business as usual, then,” Damari said. “Don’t worry, LV. If we get into trouble, I know to blame everything on you. So, where am I meeting you?” 

 Fighting a smile, I said, “Your favorite hangar in headquarters. Give me half an hour.” 

 “Sounds good! I’ll see you there.” 

 As soon as Damari cut the connection, I was requesting another one with Leski, and while waiting for her to answer, I wrote a message for Korix, letting him know where I’d be. I briefly considered sharing what Sanya had been doing over the last fourteen years, but in the end, I decided not to trouble him with it. Not yet. Whatever relationship he had with Cerullis’ shukusen, temporarily keeping this to myself seemed wise. 

 After half a minute, Leski accepted my request for a connection. 

 “You won’t like what I have to say,” I told her as soon as it had established. 

 After a pause, Leski drawled, “Ok…?” 

 Pulling to the side, I braced myself for the tirade that I expected would soon come. 

 “I have a mission, one that’s taking me to Flosari’s capital,” I said. “I need you to stay here-” 

 “Zaeden. If you think I’m letting you anywhere near danger without back-up right now, you’ve got another thing coming,” Leski said. “The last time I did that-” 

 “Love, it’s a diplomatic mission,” I said. 

 I gave her a moment to change tracks before moving on. 

 “I’m just talking to Vaessa’s higher-ups, but a situation is brewing in Lutov. I need you to stay here so you can help if it blows up,” I said. “Can you linger around Xygek’s Travel Center until I get back? I’ll get you dispensation to breeze through the Terminal if I need you.” 

 As I waited for her answer, I counted my breaths, and when Leski eventually replied, she sounded annoyed. 

 “I don’t like this,” she said. 

 “If it helps, I don’t either,” I said. “Will you do it anyway?” 

 Sighing, Leski said, “Of course I will. Is there anything else?” 

 “Not at the moment,” I said “just my usual need to tell you how much I love you.” 

 “I love you too,” Leski said with a chuckle. “Now, I know that tone. It’s your ‘I’m in a hurry but I don’t want you to see it’ voice. So, go on. Get to wherever you need to be, and stay safe while you’re there.” 

 Hell, I loved this woman.  

 With my vision misting, I said, “Thanks. I will.” 

 I cut the connection before sentimentality could unravel me even further. That had gone better than expected. 

 With preparatory conversations out of the way, I could travel to Kolb’s headquarters in silence, and wasn’t that a relief? It gave me time to process everything that the day had brought me so far. 

 I’d made a mistake. Mother Time, a part of me had known I should have investigated Harvel’s neurotoxin further, but I’d so badly wanted that fiasco to be over. At the time, I’d been wrecked from the events that had led to that man’s death—fuck, I’d murdered him in cold blood and for no reason —and I’d had a new, precious addition to my life. With that change, I’d had to adjust how I did things, learn new habits, and occasionally wish that my partners and I had never submitted an application for a child. 

 I hadn’t wanted to consider that the creator of such a monstrous weapons was still roaming free, but despite my hopes, said person existed, and she was a woman I’d befriended to boot. 

 I was still having trouble accepting that Sanya had anything to do with this. For Mother Time’s sake, she flinched when someone raised their voice around her! I didn’t want to consider the circumstances that might have bred such a fearful reaction in such a gentle woman. Or gentle most of the time, I guessed. 

 Given that and the examples I’d seen of her decency over the last two and a half decades, though, where had she devised this idea? How had she figured out a method to intimidate the Houses? Those were the types of things I’d expect someone ruthless to be thinking about, not someone like… her. 

 It disturbed me that I couldn't answer that question. Roughly shaking my head, I increased my pace toward House Kolb's headquarters.

Chapter 47: Who Are You to Refuse Me?
I was still considering today’s events when I reached my destination. Fortunately, Damari was the only person in the hangar, waving from the tail of a Packhorse, so I didn’t conceal my sour mood. 

 As I approached, they chirped, “You look better! Bless those RRDs. Ready for a loooong flight?” 

 “As ready as I can be,” I said, “Can I sit in the front this time?” 

 Already turning into the Packhorse, Damari paused, narrowing their eyes at me. I didn’t usually like riding in the front, but I needed the company today. 

 “Sure,” they said. “You ok?” 

 After considering my answer for a moment, I said, “No, but I don’t want to talk about it right now. Maybe on the way.” 

 “All right,” Damari said with a shrug. “I’m all ears when you’re ready.” 

 They hurried into the Packhorse, and I once again blessed fate for the best friend I could have asked for. 

 The cockpits of Kolb’s strike ships had always been unnerving for me. A metal walkway hovered in the middle of its glass globe, indicating the safe zone of the force field that bisected it. A semi-circular bank of switches and dials surrounded the chairs that sat on this walkway. Since most of the Packhorse’s maneuvering was done through its pilot’s array, those instruments were only here for emergency control of the aircraft. 

 None of this was what made my skin prickle, though. That wouldn’t come until we were in the air. 

 While Damari settled into a chair, I took a seat in my own, pulling up everything Sanya had sent me. Once that was done, though, I frowned at the file’s size. It was so small! Was Sanya holding out on me? This suspicion and a quick read through of the file occupied me through a good chunk of the flight around the globe, although what lay beneath our feet was never far from my mind. 

 That was why I was uncomfortable with riding in the front of a Packhorse. I didn’t like having a reminder of how far above the ground I was. Today, though, the need for company had outweighed my visceral fear of heights. 

 Finished with the problem of Cerullis for now, I set Sanya’s file aside, fighting to keep my eyes off of Damari. My preoccupation with them must have been obvious, however, because they were soon shifting in place. 

 “Something on your mind?” they asked. 

 “Not really,” I said, “although I’m curious how your sister’s doing. She’ll be going through her House naming with Baely this year, right? That’s always stressful.” 

 Better to discuss that than any of my other problems. 

 Tensing, Damari said, “Misah’s fine, from what I can tell. Why do you ask?” 

 Why indeed, especially after my recent… episode? Yes, episode. 

 It certainly helped that I was discussing Misah, not my daughter. For some reason, that was keeping my containing box intact. So long as we only focused on Damari’s sister, I should be ok. 

 Turning away, I said, “I just wanted to check on her. From what I’ve heard, she’ll make a brilliant scientist someday. I’d hate to see that talent wasted.” 

 “Like that’ll happen. Misah knows what she wants,” Damari said with a snort. “What makes you think she’d make a mistake at her House naming ceremony?” 

 Damnit, even with the focus on a relative stranger, this conversation had quickly become as uncomfortable as the rest I’d held over the last two days. It wasn’t quite bad enough to break everything open again but- but- 

 After a moment of silence, a hand landed on my shoulder, squeezing it. 

 “Hey, you don’t have to answer that, you know,” Damari said. “I’ve heard about your House naming ceremony. Never got to pick, did ya? Ko took you away before you had the chance. Is that why you’re asking about Misah? Should I be scared that you’ll swoop down on her like Ko did with you?” 

 Damari had tried to play that last question off as a joke, but I’d heard the fear behind it, and oh, how it pained me. I couldn’t, however, let them know that I’d taken note of it. With a snort, I shook my head. 

 “From everything I’ve heard, Misah is entirely unsuited for House Kolb work, just like Baely, and besides that, I’m nowhere close to needing a replacement,” I said. “And while Ko may have condemned me to a life I never would have chosen, in many ways he also rescued me during my House naming ceremony. He gave me time and an opportunity that I didn’t know I needed.” 

 Why had I said that? Was I trying to turn myself into an emotional wreck again? 

 For some reason, though, I was... fine right now. I was…. calm, which was strange. The camaraderie I’d always found with Damari must be helping with centering me, keeping me from floundering, and after our many years together, I wanted to share a trait that was integral to me as breathing. The story had been begging me to tell it since I’d started it with Baely. 

 Obligingly, Damari asked, “What do you mean?” 

 Turning to my friend, I wondered if I was about to mess this up too. Someone I’d trusted had just proven how deeply into the grips of questionable morality she’d go to achieve her goals. What if my perception of Damari was similarly as colored? 

 I spoke up anyway. 

 “At my House naming ceremony, I planned on making an… unusual choice, which would have been a mistake at the time,” I said. “Because Ko showed up when he did, I got to make the choice I wanted without suffering disastrous consequences for it, although some might say that getting forced into the role of the Lokke Vitras is its own price.” 

 I’d never thought about it like that. Sure, this perspective didn’t change how horrible my House naming had been for me, but somehow, it made that event less… troubling. Less like something I’d want to avoid. 

 After giving me an odd look, Damari refocused on flying the Packhorse. 

 “Interesting. And complicated! Which is just like you,” they said. “So? If Ko hadn’t interrupted the ceremony, what would you have said back then? If you don’t mind me-” 

 “No House,” I interrupted, too impatient to let them finish. “I wouldn’t have picked a House. I wanted to be free, which in a very tangential sense, I am.” 

 Damari squeaked, and as if in response, the Packhorse jerked with its nose dipping toward the sea. This only lasted for a split second, though, as I quickly corrected our course, but then, I’d been prepared to do that from the moment I’d decided to share with them. 

 When I glanced at my friend, they were scrunched into their seat, turned toward me with their bugged-out eyes fixed on my face. 

 “You, the Lokke Vitras, aren’t aligned with House Kolb?” they managed to say. 

 Oh hell. Had I made a mistake? 

 “No. Technically, I don’t belong to any House,” I said, “although I have to put on the pretense of loyalty to Kolb. Appearances are everything in our world.” 

 Saying nothing, Damari continued to stare at me, and I’d begun to wonder if I’d need to fly us the rest of the way to Ibis when their body started shaking. Throwing their head back, they roared with laughter. 

 “Oh… that explains… so fucking much,” they gasped. “I shoulda seen it.” 

 “Um.” 

 I didn’t know what to say. Did they need comforting words from me? The idea that someone might defy the Houses would shatter most Lutovish’s world view. Considering that and how much people liked to stay away from uncomfortable things, Damari might need me to back off, distancing myself from them. Hell. Had I lost my only-? 

 Lunging forward, Damari grabbed my hands, and I barely suppressed my urge to jerk free of a possible hostile. I wasn’t sure why they insisted on pulling sudden moves like this on me. They knew I didn’t like them. But then, they squeezed my hands, focusing me on their earnest eyes. 

 “Relax. You haven’t lost me, and I’m definitely not gonna run, Zaeden,” they said. “You want me to do that, you’ll have to say something a lot scarier than you have.” 

 Oh, thank Mother Time. 

 When I nodded, they released me, and after an uncomfortable beat of silence, I shifted in place. 

 “So-” 

 “The Lokke Vitras without a House. It fits you well,” Damari says. “You really are amazing. Ya know that, right?” 

 Chuckling at the look on my face, they turned toward the horizon, gesturing at nothing. 

 “Now, give me control of my ship back, please and thank you.” 

 Once I’d done that, we returned to companionable silence. As the sun led the way in our race across the planet, I marveled at the fact that I’d had that conversation without my containing box rupturing. Given the subject matter, it should have done that. 

 Maybe I shouldn't question that too much. 

 When Ibis started marring the join of the water to the sky, Damari spoke up again. 

 “So, that’s why you’re worried about Misah? Nothing else?” they said. “I’ve noticed that House naming’s stress you out. Always wondered why but…” 

 They shrugged. 

 “I’ve recently learned that it’s because I project my own experience onto them,” is aid. 

 And had to wince at the admission. What did that say about me? 

 “Don’t worry, though. Your sister will be fine,” I continued. “How could she not be with a wonderful sibling like you?” 

 At that, I expected Damari to blush and wriggle in place, like they always did, but they bit their lip instead. 

 “I don’t know about that. In some ways, I’ve been horrible to her,” they said, “but that’s a topic for another time. No depressing conversations are allowed on my ship.” 

 Mm, avoidance. How well did I know the urge to indulge in it? 

 With a wry smile, I said, “Fair enough. On to another topic, then! Once we arrive in Flosa, can you stick around for a couple of days, or are you needed back home?” 

 “I have nothing waiting for me in Ibis, but I’d rather not wait,” Damari said. “Ibis makes me uncomfortable. Too… backwater. Too much…” 

 Trailing off, they looked away, and I nodded in understanding. I knew how much Damari needed their clean and orderly surroundings, and if they were using that as an excuse to avoid seeing examples of the abuse that Lutov daily rained on Ibis, I wouldn’t say a word about it. Leave that fight to the people who were strong enough to continue it. 

 How was I supposed to know what personal battles Damari struggled with every day? I couldn’t ask them to participate in another conflict, no matter how badly it might need its champions. 

 “All right,” I said. “I’ll send you a message when I’m getting close to extraction, then, although you shouldn’t feel pressured to pick me up. I can always go through a Travel Center, if needed.” 

 Rolling their eyes, Damari said, “I’ll pick you up, ya idiot. Just give me plenty of warning.” 

 “Can do,” I said. “Thanks, Damari.” 

 My friend made a noise in acknowledgment, but then, preparing for landing stole their attention. We didn’t have an opportunity to speak after that. Once the Packhorse had touched down, Damari got swept up in registering our arrival while I greeted Vaessa’s representative in the hangar. As I approached him, the man tensed up, and I internally sighed. This would be fun. 

 “Lokke Vitras, we weren’t expecting you,” he said. “What brings you to Ibis?” 

 “Nothing you need concern yourself with,” I said. “I’m only here to speak with your shukusen . I know the way to her office, so unless I need an escort…?” 

 Much as I hated it, I’d always found that the haughty approach worked best with members of House Vaessa. It didn’t hurt that this man looked ready to give me anything I wanted if it meant I’d leave him alone. Surprisingly, however, he hesitated. 

 “Please forgive me, Lokke Vitras, but shukusen Raelle is currently in Acova, treating with Acrar’s royal family,” he said. “She’s not expected back for a couple of days.” 

 Well, that had been a bald-faced lie. When I’d made a location request for Vaessa’s shukusen earlier, it had returned the query with Flosa, somewhere close by if the provided coordinates were correct. Given how widely known my skills were in Lutov, this man had to know I’d catch him in his lie. I wasn’t sure what he was trying to do with it, but for the moment, I’d play his game. Upsetting a shukusen wasn’t wise, especially when one meant to ask a favor of them. 

 “How unfortunate,” I said. “I’ll have to indulge in Flosari’s distractions until she’s ready to see me, then. I can’t wait to see what sort of mischief I can get up to.” 

 As I gave the man a sharp smile, he shivered before bowing. 

 “Please, enjoy yourself until then,” he said. 

 Forcing as much ice into my voice as I could, I said, “I will.” 

 I brushed past him before he could rise from his bow, heading into the city. Why didn’t Raelle want to see me? Did she know why I was here, and if so, did that mean she was part of a plot against Sanya? 

 Shaking my head, I rolled my shoulders, shrugging off thoughts of conspiracy. I couldn’t do anything to change my situation, not with so many Lutovish active in their headquarters right now. While I waited for them to head home, I should tackle the snarled ball of stress and worry that had been building in my chest. 

 So, I took a walk. 

 Of Ibis’ capital cities, Flosa was the one that tugged on my heartstrings the most, only matched by Kester in Crinas. Acrar’s Acova and Escad’s Daka were lovely places, testaments to their people’s creative spirit, and as with everything in hidden Ostiu, its capital, Zoln, was a wonder, one that stole my breath at times. On the other hand, Flosa and Kester only exemplified the squalid lifestyle that we Lutovish had forced onto the children of Ibis. 

 The narrow streets between the city’s buildings weren’t paved. Instead, they were mucky with waste trickling down them. Mother Time, the smell here had always threatened to send me running for the fresh air of the forest outside of the city, and the sick, starving, or drug-addled languished in alleys and doorsteps, crying out for a crust of bread from passersby. 

 They never did the same for me, falling silent as soon as they saw me. In fact, wherever I went here, I brought an aura of uneasy quiet with me, but for once, this wasn’t because of my role. No, the simple fact of my heritage disrupted these people’s lives, and I hated that, not that it was unwarranted. How else did one respond to an oppressor that one had no hope of resisting? 

 Still, though, I hated their fear because I’d been here before, whether in disguise or camouflaged, so I knew how persistently upbeat the children of Ibis typically were. Don’t get me wrong. They knew how horrible their lives were. It was written into the worry lines on their faces, but despite that, their relentless positivity shone through, and I found that—the refusal to give up —beautiful. 

 I wandered among the children of Ibis for a few hours, clearing my head and making plans, but as soon as a deep dark had settled over the city, I made my way back to Vaessa’s headquarters. Retrieving a camouflage disk from a pocket, I stuck it to the back of my neck before initiating its presented process. 

 I’d always thought of this infiltration method as cheating, a belief that Korix had drilled into me, but honestly? Why make the effort of devising a more convoluted plan when something simple would work, especially on such a casual ‘mission’? I wasn’t even sure if it qualified as a mission. 

 With the camouflage disk’s help, I strode down the hallways without trouble. Not many Vaessa members were in the building, but then, I’d expected that. After the various months that I’d spent in these people’s midst, I knew their habits well. 

 As always, dull surprise registered in me at the visual reminder of how plain this place was. Most of the Houses were lavish with their headquarters, showing off in a way. Even Zan’s headquarters in Ostiu was overly ostentatious, but this building was a warren of concrete tunnels and rooms. 

 On stepping into Raelle’s office, I disabled its recorders, locked the door, and removed my camouflage disk, all while working my jaw. Mother Time, I hated the buzz that thing always spread across my body. 

 While keeping an eye on the hall outside, I sat in the shukusen’s chair, searching her drawers for what I’d need, and once I’d found it, I spread a sheet of paper on the desk’s surface while magicking a pen into my hand. Setting its tip on the top line, I grinned at the look that I imagined would spread across Raelle’s face when she saw this.  

 Since few Lutovish outside of House Kolb knew how to write, most people found handwritten notes unnerving. I’d always enjoyed using them as an intimidation tactic. 

 My note was short and polite, but even still, Raelle should get the point. I knew she was avoiding me. I was also well within my rights to force a meeting with her when I liked, but I respected her enough to keep from doing that. She could decide when we’d talk, but that conversation would happen. 

 Finished, I left the office, sneaking out of headquarters as easily as I had with infiltrating it, and once outside, I rested my hands on my hips. What should I do while I waited? I could look into the disturbances that I’d mentioned to Talira but… 

 Why not take the break that I’d been offered instead? 

 “I wonder what Gretchen’s been up to lately,” I said. 

 Smirking at conjured memories, I shoved my hands into my pockets before ambling off with a whistle on my lips.

Chapter 48: I Should Have Explained by Now, Huh?
In the small room I’d rented, Gretchen and Luisa tangled ever tighter around each other, fighting to be the first to please her partner. Having already had my turn, I was watching this performance with someone’s arm—it was hard to tell whose—draped over me. I was still amazed at how many people we’d fit into such a small space. 

 From among our two ‘combatants’, muffled cursing emerged, and I grinned as Luisa cried out, arching her back off of the bed, quickly followed by Gretchen collapsing on her. As Damian and Andrea started whistling and clapping nearby, I melted further into the straw mattress, completely at ease. 

 It had been a good couple of days, mostly spent secluded from the world, and I’d enjoyed my time with these lovely people. I’d even learned a few new tricks from them, ones I’d love to try for myself if time allowed. In moments like this, my life’s complications drifted away from me. I was just a simple man, doing as he pleased, and nothing else. I wasn’t the Lokke Vitras. I wasn’t even ‘Zaeden’. I was just… me. 

 Raucous knocking brought that illusion crashing to a halt. While my companions giggled, I climbed off of the bed and dressed, wondering if Raelle had finally sent a summons for me. If it was her, though, why would she do it this way? Sending me a message would have been much easier. 

 Ah, well. Better to play it safe. Requesting my rifle, I hid it behind my back, ignoring how quiet the room had gone, and eased the door open.  

 Talira was on the other side. 

 “Shit,” I said. 

 What was she doing here? I’d never known my grandmother to leave Lutov, not once in the time I’d been alive, and she was here now? What did that mean? 

 Still, she hadn’t attacked me yet, so I dropped my rifle, noting when the children of Ibis gasped at its dematerialization. At the noise, Talira narrowed her eyes. 

 “Are there people with you?” she asked. 

 Sighing, I hung from the door, knowing she’d have seen the heat signatures behind it already. Why would she ask me about my companions when she already knew about them? 

 “What do you think?” I said. 

 Pursing her lips, Talira said, “Get rid of them. We need to talk.” 

 Yeah, that was what I’d thought. 

 Straightening from the door, I said, “Sure. I’ll need a minute, though.” 

 With a nod, Talira leaned against a wall with her arms crossed, and I bit back another sigh. It had been too much to hope for privacy. 

 When I turned back to my companions, I was walloped by the fear oozing from them. I wasn’t surprised by it, unfortunately. While we’d been in this place, nationality and identity had been left behind, and reminders that I hailed from Lutov must have been exceedingly jarring for them. Still, I had to soothe their fears, so with a wince, I raised my hands, spreading my fingers wide. 

 “I’m sorry to have ruined our fun,” I said in the Ibisian tongue, “but APPARENTLY, my grandmother needs to speak with me.” 

 When I made a face, my companions snorted or tried to hide their laughter, and I was relieved that my return to a care-free state had relaxed them, even if it had been an act on my part. 

 “I’m afraid I have to kick you out now,” I said. “Many apologies to you all.” 

 Much groaning and complaining ensued, but my companions got ready to leave, and as they went, each of them stopped for a quick kiss from me. Luisa and Gretchen were the last ones in the room, lingering for as long as they could. 

 I felt for them, truly. Flosari had an entrenched belief that sexual and romantic relationships should only exist between people of opposite genders, which I’d always found curious. Where could such an illogical belief have come from? No other nation in Ibis held to it, just as surely as Lutov didn’t, so what had spawned a belief that had led to such hatred here? 

 Neither Gretchen nor Luisa kissed me as I left, although I got bone-crushing hugs from them both, but I didn’t blame them for this. Not only was I not their type, but I didn’t invite them to gatherings like this for sex. I liked them for who they were and for that alone. I enjoyed their company, and if they got to spend time with the woman they loved while they were here, so much the better for it. 

 After they’d disappeared, I held the door open for Talira, who entered with a wrinkled nose. The expression seemed warranted, considering the room reeked of sex right now, but I didn’t open a window to air it out, latching the door instead. If I was right, this conversation would require the utmost of privacy. Why else would Talira have come looking for me in Flosa, a city unmonitored by recorders? 

 For a long moment, she examined the room before whirling on me with fire in her eyes. It only made her voice’s emptiness more skin-crawling when she said. 

 “What are you doing, fucking random Ibisians?” 

 That… had been harsher than normal for her. Why was she so upset? 

 Also, none of the people who’d just been here had been random . I’d known most of them for at least a few months, but I didn’t think pointing that out was going to help me with… whatever this was. 

 Lifting an eyebrow, I said, “Being myself? Is something wrong?” 

 Groaning, Talira threw her hands over her head. 

 “‘Is something wrong?’ he asks,” she said. “Of course there is! Mother Time, Zaeden. Our sterilization efforts among the Ibisians may be thorough, but sleeping with one can still result in consequences, if not progeny. What if Vaessa accuses you of giving more rations to those people than they were owed, throwing off the balance of power that the Houses have achieved here? Or what if one of your ‘companions’ learns a compromising secret during your time with them? They could blackmail you with it, and then, where would you be? Answer? Fucked because I certainly couldn’t help you with it.” 

 She paused to catch her breath, but I didn’t say a word in response. Something was going on here, something… strange. I’d never seen my grandmother so red-faced and yet expressionless, passionate and yet full of ice. Never mind how cutting her words had been so far. I was concerned about Talira, which was strange for me, and to this point, she’d at least refrained from questioning my character, if not my intelligence- 

 “And how, pray tell, could you take advantage of those people in the first place?” Talira said. “They probably thought they had to accept your advances, much like the Acrarish do. Hell, Zaeden, you-” 

 With one step, I was in Talira’s space, towering over her with my hands curled into fists. 

 “I am many despicable things, but a man who could abuse people as you’ve suggested is not one of them,” I said. 

 Mother Time, I could swear my breath had made icicles in the air there, and given how much Talira had flinched, she must have noticed it, but I wasn’t done. 

 “In the past, I’ve dated children of Ibis, as they prefer to be called, and grandmother mine? I know exactly how to go about doing it,” I said. “No matter how much we avoid talking about it, everyone in this room knew about the culture gap between us. They know that any relationship between us must always remain casual. They know that I’ll never share more about myself than my name and other, superficial details. This is the price that we both pay for courting someone on the other side of that unbreakable line, and I may hate it, but I abide by it, for the good of both parties. And of course, consent is always the foremost thing on my mind, something I do my utmost to establish well before anything intimate can happen between me and another person. Call me an idiot as much as you like, but never presume to think that I would ever have sex with someone who didn’t want it in return. Are we understood?” 

 As she realized exactly what she’d accused me of, something in Talira thawed, letting her features soften. 

 “Zae-zae,” she said, “I didn’t mean-” 

 “Are we understood?” I repeated, taking a step forward. 

 After closing her eyes for a moment, Talira looked up at me and nodded, and I relented, giving her space. Now that I’d driven the point home, there was no need to dwell on it. 

 “Now, what’s actually the matter?” I said. “You haven’t come into the field to berate me in a while.” 

 Sighing, Talira sank onto the bed, presumably forgetting about everything that had taken place there, but when she started scrubbing her face, I decided not to remind her about it. 

 “You should have listened to me,” she said. “I knew about Sanya’s plans, you know. I had a scheme in the works that would have defused the situation without anyone noticing, but now, with the two of you kicking up dust, it won’t work, and I… I’m afraid for her.” 

 Ah. That was… 

 Pinching the bridge of my nose, I crouched in front of Talira while rubbing one temple. 

 “Why didn’t you tell me about this?” I said. “I’d have dropped everything if you’d just said something.” 

 Granted, she had tried to warn me off… 

 As if reading my thoughts, Talira snapped, “You should have done as you were told without an explanation.” 

 Wow. What an unwarranted amount of hostility for a habit I’d always had. When I glared at her for it, she pulled her lips into an apologetic half-smile. 

 “As I should have known that would never have happened,” she said, “but I didn’t say anything because I’m protecting someone. I knew that if I shared my idea with you, you’d want to know more about it, and that would eventually have led to a revelation that no one’s ready for yet.” 

 She was right. I mean… look at me! Even as she’d been talking, I’d been mulling over how to ask about her plan. Now that I was no longer constrained by the role of student, that was just how I was, never content to let things lie. 

 Unless it was to keep someone safe. 

 “This person you’re trying to protect,” I said. “They’re important to you?” 

 “I love them as if they were my own child,” Talira said. 

 Considering how neglectful she’d always been with my father, I wasn’t sure if that was a ringing endorsement, but I’d take what she’d said at face value. 

 “Ok.” 

 Slapping my knees, I swiveled to sit on the edge of the bed, rubbing my hands between my legs. 

 “I’ve ruined your plan, and I’m sorry about that,” I said. “How do we fix it?” 

 She’d have an answer for that question. Why else would she have come all the way across the water for this talk? She certainly wouldn’t have done it just to scold me. 

 “We make sure this vote passes in Sanya’s favor,” Talira said. “If it doesn’t, we work with her, hopefully forming another solution to our long-term problem.” 

 Glancing at her, I weakly smiled. 

 “The issue with our sun?” I said. 

 Nodding, Talira said, “That’s the one.” 

 With a laugh, I threw myself backward, bouncing when I landed on the straw mattress. 

 Draping an arm over my face, I said, “How have two impossible disasters already happened while I’ve been the Lokke Vitras?” 

 “I’m grateful that they’ve only started in recent years,” she said. “We didn’t have the right person in place until now.” 

 When I peeked under my elbow at her, my grandmother nodded, and I wished this lumpy mattress would finish eating me. There it was again, even a hundred years of mediocrity later. Why did people insist on holding me to such a high standard? I’d accepted that something was special about me. After the many times I’d had the fact shoved down my throat, how could I not? 

 I’d much rather prefer, however, if we ignored my so-called ‘exceptional nature’, at least for now. We could acknowledge it whenever it was actually needed. 

 “Can you get the votes we need?” Talira asked. 

 Groaning, I dropped my arm over my face again. 

 “Yes,” I said. “It would help if your fellow shukusenth would talk to me, though.” 

 “About that…” 

 I sat up in time to catch Talira waving toward me, and a second later, a message from shukusen Raelle popped into my array. 

 “I intercepted this after I got here, so any response you choose to give shouldn’t be too delayed,” Talira said. 

 Already halfway through reading the message, I leapt to my feet, gathering my belongings. I needed to get out of here, running to Vaessa’s headquarters before Raelle disappeared again. Before I could leave, however, Talira pulled me up short. 

 “Once we’re back in Lutov, we’ll have to return to formality,” she said. 

 Rolling my eyes, I said, “Perhaps, but we can enjoy the lack of recorders while we have it, yes?” 

 Nodding, Talira laced her fingers in her lap, staring at them, all while I itched to leave. I needed to finish planning out my conversation with Raelle, but clearly, my grandmother had something more to say. 

 “Zae-zae…” she eventually whispered. “Good luck. And I love you.” 

 For a moment, all I could do was blink at her. When was the last time she’d said that to me? I didn’t know how to handle those words from her. 

 “I… love you too,” I said. “I…” 

 Something else should go here. Right? 

 Snorting, Talira flapped a hand at me. 

 “Go,” she said. 

 Oh, thank Mother Time. 

 With a half-bow to her, I raced through the door and outside. My journey to Vaessa’s headquarters was spent ratcheting through ways I might secure Raelle’s vote. Her House wouldn’t gain much from Lutov’s return to space exploration, and I doubted an appeal to her morals would work, so I turned to what Cerullis could use as a bargaining chip. 

 Vaessa had always lusted after the satellites that Cerullis managed, seeing them as an efficient means of controlling Ibis’ population. Sanya could concede a few of them to Raelle, but I had problems with that idea. I wouldn’t put it past Vaessa to glass an Ibisian town, just for the fun of it. 

 Cerullis had plenty of other resources to trade, though. Surely, one of those would be enough. And perhaps I could figure out another way to sway Raelle’s opinion. 

 When I walked into Vaessa’s headquarters, no one greeted me, which was strange. It wasn’t totally out of the norm, though. If the members of a House knew I’d be visiting them ahead of schedule, they sometimes preferred to pretend I didn’t exist, although that only happened when they were unsure of my purpose there. So, I ignored these people’s skittish behavior, attributing it to their need to avoid me. 

 When I turned down a second corridor and the people in it scattered, however, it tripped my danger senses. Was this a trap? If so, had I been right? Was Raelle concocting a scheme to oppose Sanya? 

 Until I reached the shukusen’s office, I stayed on alert with my head on a swivel, but once outside of it, I forced myself to relax. Donning a carefree smile, I strode into the room. 

 But no one was inside. 

 Palming a knife, I scanned the office, noting no hostiles, but something in the desk quickly snagged my eye. A piece of paper had been tented on it—my note from before, I thought—and in blocky letters, a word had been scrawled across it: NO. 

 Well, fuck.

Chapter 49: An Unexpected Compatriot
“You must promise to keep this to yourself,” Orin said. 

 Having never seen Kirst’s shukusen so serious before, I inclined my head toward him, fighting not to frown. Would this meeting end with yet another rejection? 

 Since coming home yesterday, I’d been trying to figure out why shukusen Raelle had denied my unvoiced request, seemingly without provocation, but I’d come up with nothing. I had no clue how I’d pissed her off, which meant I couldn’t change her vote, and now that I was here, sitting across from Orin, I wondered if I was about to have a repeat performance. 

 Had I lost the ability to manipulate people? While on a personal level, such a loss would be exhilarating—how I’d love for a conversation to be unpredictable or to never need such disgusting tactics in the first place—it would be devastating for me as the Lokke Vitras. 

 Leaning forward, Orin beckoned me closer, and I obliged, queuing a request for my rifle in my array. I doubted he’d attack me, but it paid to be prepared. 

 With his eyes twinkling, Orin whispered, “I’ve always loved the stars, wanted to see them up close since I was a boy.” 

 Giggling, he sat back in his chair while I straightened with a grin. What a way to tell me that Sanya had his vote. 

 “May I share a secret in return?” I said. 

 When Orin spread his hands in front of him, I hid my face behind steepled fingers. 

 “I have a similar wish,” I said. “You should see my library back home. My partners and I have collected so many books about space…” 

 Orin’s mouth dropped open, and I firmly kept my own in a straight line— don’t smirk, don’t smirk! —until he closed his. 

 “That’s… wonderful!” he breathed. “Might I see it someday? I’d love to know if… but no. I could never intrude on the privacy of the Lokke Vitras.” 

 Exactly what privacy was that, pray tell? 

 “You’re welcome anytime,” I said. “Just give us some warning.” 

 “Well, then.” 

 Orin took a breath before slapping the arms of his chair. 

 “I’ve never been happier to take a meeting with you, Lokke Vitras,” he said. “I look forward to browsing your library soon.” 

 Finally, I let myself smile, reminded once more of how close this man came to the manipulation skills of House Kolb’s best. That had been the most subtle dismissal I’d heard in a while. There was a reason I’d always liked Orin. 

 Getting to my feet, I extended a hand. 

 “It was indeed a pleasure,” I said. “I’ll see you at the next assembly?” 

 “It should be interesting,” Orin said, giving the most neutral of answers to my indirect query. 

 But he squeezed my hand in reassurance. This let me travel to where I was meeting Feena with a bounce in my step. 

 The assembly in question would convene tomorrow afternoon, but still, evidence of it flurried across the park at the center of Xygek.  

 Somehow, the importance of this month’s meeting had spread across the city, and this had low and mid Strata scurrying between its towers, carrying messages and the like. 

 I’d received my own message from Korix after arriving in Lutov. Even as I’d thanked him for delaying with it so I could focus on Raelle, I’d opened it, reading its single line of ‘Good luck’ with a smile. Soon after that, Leski had requested a direct connection with me, and we’d worked through details for the next few days. Tomorrow, she’d be on standby in Kolb’s headquarters, in case things turned to shit. Knowing that she’d be nearby had calmed down my nerves about the meeting. 

 As I reached where I was meeting with Feena, I cocked my head at who was waiting there instead. That wasn’t my sister. 

 “Forgive me, Zaeden,” Sanya said. “Over the last few days, I’ve been keeping track of your progress. I thought you might pass this way, so I’ve been waiting here, hoping we could speak.” 

 “You could have sent me a message,” I said. 

 Sanya winced at how abrupt I’d been. 

 “True,” she said. “I didn’t want to attract attention from anyone who might be watching us by directly messaging you, but it appears that by coming here, I’ve still drawn eyes to us." 

 A lot of people were staring our way. Sighing, I waved for Sanya to follow me. 

 “Come on,” I said. “I know a place where we can talk.” 

 As we moved along, I sent Feena a message about the change in plans, although I was constantly aware of the ally-turned-enemy at my back as I did. What did she want to talk about? Did she expect an update on my work from this last week? I didn’t know if she deserved one, even if she had the leverage needed to extract one from me. Besides the single fact that I was working with her, I’d told Sanya about far too many of my sensitive issues over the years. With them, she could force me into a minor task for her, although nothing she had could pressure something drastic from me. 

 Given that, why hadn’t I been keeping her appeased? Even if I didn’t consider the personal details she knew about me, she’d had the formula for a deadly neurotoxin in her hands for the last twenty-five years. How many vats of it might she have produced in that time? 

 Hell, she could probably infect all of Lutov with it, and I’d just been… ignoring her, which was entirely out of character for me. Why had I done that? Was I truly that distracted? 

 As I turned into a bar, I tamped down on the surge of ugly emotions that those questions had spawned. They should be examined, yes, but first, I needed to navigate through the dark dive I’d led Sanya to. 

 Fortunately, this place’s proprietor was behind the bar, and as soon as she saw me coming, she reached for something behind the counter while I threw my arms over my head. 

 “Rane! How good to see you!” I shouted, loud and enthusiastic. 

 Emotional, like the once caretaker of The Library had always insisted I shouldn’t be. 

 Something whizzed toward me, and reflexively, I reached out to catch what Rana had thrown. Goodness. She’d been aiming for my face that time! As if unphased, I bounced a set of keys in the palm of my hand. 

 “Thaaaaanks, my dear!” I sang, already moving toward a door in the back. “My favorite Third Stratus. The best of barkeeps!” 

 I kept up the string of compliments as I headed across the bar, ignoring the eyes on me. It was better if these people were focused on me instead of Sanya. As soon as I was through the door, however, I dropped into my typical demeanor, which left the shukusen staring at me. 

 “What?” I said. 

 “I’ve never seen you working,” she said. “It’s…” 

 She had nothing else, but of course she didn’t. Most people didn’t. 

 Rolling my eyes, I said, “Trust me. I can do much more than act happy when I’m not.” 

 Before she could respond, I pushed through an old-fashioned door to our right, barely checking to make sure she’d come with me. She stopped short in the room’s threshold, not that I could blame her. 

 Decades ago, Rana had decided that she wanted to stay a barkeep, even without The Library to guard, and at the time of her new place’s construction, I’d asked her to set a space aside for me, an additional safe place I could go in case of emergency. While the requested space was tiny, it felt cozy rather than cramped. 

 What had likely stopped Sanya short, though, was the scenario that had started beaming from a holodrama plate when we’d entered. It was one of my more convincing ones, placing us in the middle of an interstellar nebula. 

 At first glance, it could be disorienting. Even with gravity keeping one firmly pinned to the ground, the scenario could make one feel as if they were drifting in the dust of a star’s birthing ground. 

 I ignored that disorientation, heading for the sideboard taking up far too much of the room’s space. 

 Gesturing to it, I said, “Drink?” 

 “I…” Sanya started before clearing her throat. “No, thank you.” 

 “Fair enough,” I said. “Make yourself comfortable, then.” 

 I turned to my task.

Chapter 50: We've Got This
While Sanya found a spot to sit amongst the pillows surrounding the holodrama plate, I poured myself a glass of water, working through why I’d been so upset with her earlier. Why had I been so illogical when it came to Sanya over the last week? It made no sense. 

 With my glass in hand, I joined the shukusen on the ground, noting her stiff posture. Taking a sip of water, I waved at her. 

 “Well?” 

 Sanya opened her mouth before looking away, examining the billowing clouds of hydrogen and helium around us. 

 Waving at it, she said, “You never faked your enthusiasm about our work together, did you?” 

 That question pulled my lips tight. 

 “Never,” I said. 

 Nodding, Sanya said, “It’s sad, really. Given that and… other things I know about you, we could have been good friends, if not for recent events.” 

 I let a surge of hurt wash over me, even as I considered why I was having such a strange reaction to what she’d said. Friends? Us? The only friend I’d had in my life was Damari but… but… 

 I’d been starting to think of her as one too. Shit. That was what was happening. I… I was mad at her because she’d hurt me. 

 Wow. That hadn’t happened in a while. I didn’t usually let people get close enough for them to have a chance at it. When I said nothing, too busy grappling with this dawning realization, Sanya shook her head. 

 “You probably don’t feel the same way, which is fine,” she said. “I’m aware that a relationship between a shukusen and a First Stratus, beyond one that concerns House business, is difficult to comprehend but-” 

 “And yet, you’ve had no trouble with starting something far more intimate with your own First Stratus,” I said, barely keeping myself from snapping at her. 

 As soon as the words were out of my mouth, I wished I could take them back. Why had I revealed that I knew about those two’s relationship? 

 “That… was uncalled for,” I said into the dead silence. 

 Sanya, however, just shook her head. 

 “Somehow, I’m not surprised you know about us,” she said. “Have you told anyone else?” 

 “Why would I?” I said. “Your personal relationship has no chance of endangering Lutov. Beyond that, it’s none of my business.” 

 Nodding, Sanya stared at her hands before inclining her head toward the sideboard. 

 “I’ll take that drink now, if you don’t mind,” she said. 

 “Go ahead.” 

 While she made herself something, I wondered where the hell Feena was. I needed her to rescue me from this increasingly uncomfortable conversation. 

 I’d also like to know how her meeting with Marza had gone. By a fluke chance, the shukusen had scheduled it at the same time as mine with Orin, and I couldn’t help but worry about how much longer Feena’s meeting was running. Sure, mine had been short because of Orin’s easy concession to my request but even still… 

 Sanya sat across from me once more, and after a couple of gulps from her glass, she set it down so she could meet my eyes. 

 “I want to explain something,” she said. 

 Hadn’t she been doing that enough lately? I didn’t know if I wanted to hear more of her excuses, but I didn’t have a polite way to stop her right now. 

 “Go ahead,” I gruffly said. 

 With a nod, Sanya steeled herself. 

 “Lutov’s resistance to reinstating a space program is impossibly strong,” she said. “You know this as well as I do, but I’m restating it now so you’ll understand.” 

 She had no idea how much I got that fact. 

 “I’ve known about the problem with our sun since I inherited the position of Cerullis’ shukusen from Alezand,” Sanya continued, “but it had been a known quantity for a while before then too. During his time leading my House, Alezand ignored the problem, relegating it to lower Strata who could monitor it. 

 “I, however, couldn’t do the same. I tried for decades to get someone’s attention about it, always working within our legal system as I did, but always, I was rejected. In the early days, I even tried floating some requests for aid your way, but considering I never received a response, I think you ignored them. Not that I can blame you. I know why Cerullis took such a lower priority for you after the Ancients Crisis.” 

 She paused to take a sip of her drink, and while she did that, I closed my eyes, wanting to reach through time so I could shout at my younger self. How greatly had I contributed to this current tangle? By the time Sanya had returned her glass to the floor, though, I’d donned a neutral expression again. 

 “I continued like this for eighty years, fighting our people’s stubbornness by any means I could, although I tried to keep myself safe as well,” she said. “After so long with nothing changing, I realized that only dramatic action would get other people to see the danger we’re in.  

 "So, I started planning. I had Teag contact Arion, beginning the development of the tool that would make Lutov see, and all the while, I hoped that my legal efforts would miraculously work. Then, House Zan went through its changing of the guard, and shortly after that, you contacted me, saying you wanted to learn about my work. 

 “I don’t know what changed your mind about Cerullis, but I’m glad it happened, even if that change came too late. I’ve enjoyed working with you for the last twenty-five years. It’s given me hope that my drastic solution might not be needed, even if I never stopped working on it. 

 “That’s what I wanted to tell you, Zaeden. I am deeply sorry that I didn’t share any of this with you before now. I was afraid. I have… past experience with violent men, which has made me wary of even those who seem as virtuous as you, but that’s no excuse. I hope this apology hasn’t come too late to mend fences, but if it has, I’m thankful that you’ve continued working with me, even with how much I’ve damaged what once lay between us. And… that’s all.” 

 She looked to me for a response, but I didn’t have one. That had been a good speech, clearly rehearsed but also heartfelt. Had it been enough to earn my forgiveness? 

 All of this flashed through my head while I wrestled down a laughing fit. Sanya had been fighting our society like a she-demon because she hated how it worked. How highly could I relate to that? In recent years, how often had I contemplated taking drastic measures, all in the hope of making the slightest of changes? It was like she’d been testing the water for me, and I didn’t know what to think about that. 

 Behind me, the door opened with Feena walking through it, and with an exasperated click of her tongue, she locked it behind her. 

 “What’s she doing here?” she said. 

 “Apologizing,” I said. “Showing me she’s as human as anyone else, but she’s also strong enough to admit her mistakes.” 

 Apparently, Sanya’s speech had been enough for me. 

 “Oh. Well, that’s all right, then,” Feena sarcastically said with a huff. 

 An apology would never be enough for my sister, though. 

 “If you’d like, I can go…?” Sanya said. 

 She started getting up, only stopping when I touched her knee. 

 “No,” I said. “I’d rather not have two debriefs. If you wouldn’t mind staying for one of those, of course.” 

 “Why would I mind that?” Sanya said. 

 Meanwhile, Feena made a disgruntled noise as she flopped onto the ground beside me. 

 “Yes, I’m fine with it too,” she said. “Thanks for asking.” 

 Rolling my eyes, I handed her my glass. 

 “Here. This should make you feel better,” I said. 

 Sighing, Feena relaxed, sipping from the glass, but then, she froze. 

 “This is water,” she said over its rim. 

 “Indeed,” I said. “You looked dehydrated.” 

 Feena stared at me for a moment before throwing the glass’s contents into my face, and laughing, I blinked through water while she made herself a proper drink. After she used each glass and decanter, she slammed them back down, punctuating each of those noises with a word. 

 “You are an asshole.” 

 This only made me laugh harder. Through my hilarity, I was dimly aware of Sanya watching us with a smile, and I was glad that she hadn’t let yet another glimpse of my humanity rankle her. Eventually, Feena retook her seat, glaring at Sanya as she sipped at her drink. I decided to step in before the tension between them unraveled into something unpleasant. 

 “Right!” I said. “Feena, what did cranky, old Marza say?” 

 My sister gave me a scandalized glance. 

 “Zae, you can’t say things like that about a shukusen,” she said. 

 “I can when no one’s spying on me,” I said. “There’s a reason this room is so old-fashioned in style. No tech in this place! Besides the holodrama plate, of course, but it’s cut off from the network. I doubt anyone here has loosened the security processes that keep their arrays safe so… nothing to worry about.” 

 “Why-?” 

 When we swiveled our heads to her, Sanya cut off, blushing, but I raised an eyebrow, which forced her to continue. 

 “Why would you do any of that?” 

 “He’s the Lokke Vitras, of course,” Feena said before I could. “Or as our brother would put it, ‘Zae thinks with his House Kolb brain too much’.” 

 The reminder of my brother made me wince, and squinting one eye, I faced Feena. 

 “How is Phen?” I asked. 

 “Oh, fine. Busy. Hardly had time for me this week,” Feena said. “We have his vote, even if he seemed annoyed that you weren’t the one asking for it.” 

 “If Zaeden had done that, thought, it would have been disastrous.” 

 With our gazes again locked on her, Sanya raised her hands. 

 “What?” she said. “Someone would have to be blind to miss the antagonism between you two.” 

 Hell. I’d known that was pretty obvious to anyone paying attention, but still, having proof of it hurt. 

 As I swallowed the lump in my throat, Feena bumped her shoulder into mine. 

 “Moving on!” she said. “You asked about Marza, right?” 

 “Yes,” I said. 

 And if my voice had been thick while speaking that word, neither of my companions commented on it. 

 “She wouldn’t give me a straight answer. Kept talking in circles,” Feena said, “but I’m fairly certain she’s with us. Which leaves Raelle and Orin.” 

 The floor was handed to me, but I was ready for it now. 

 Leaning into the pillows, I said, “Orin’s vote is probably ours. He seemed rather eager to approve Cerullis’ proposal, in fact, but Raelle is against us.” 

 With a snort, Feena started snickering into a hand. 

 “How did you let that happen?” she gasped. 

 Narrowing my eyes at her, I crossed my arms. 

 “Have you ever had to get a hostile stranger to agree with you, especially when you’ve had little time to prepare the way? Doing it is close to impossible, not that I didn’t try,” I said. “I’ve been thinking of ways to change her mind since returning to Lutov, but I don’t have the leverage or the angle needed to bring her around. Never have figured out why she’s always been so  negative toward me.” 

 “Oh, that’s easy!” Sanya said. “Raelle hates you. You have no idea how often I’ve had to listen while she’s complained about your work with the advocates for Ibisian rights.” 

 For a moment, I stared at the shukusen —how had she figured that out before me?—before collapsing into the pillows with my hands slapped to my face. 

 “Of course that’s why,” I groaned. 

 How had I not seen it? 

 “Come on, Zae. You had to know your political hobbies would bite you in the ass someday,” Feena said. 

 “I did,” I said through my fingers. “Didn’t think it would be over something like this, though.” 

 Shaking my head, I pried myself off of the floor while letting my hands fall into my lap. 

 “Not that Raelle’s vote should make a difference,” I said. “From what we’ve learned, we have four definite yeses, one maybe, and one no. Even if someone changes their mind at the last minute, the vote tomorrow should land well in our favor, which is a good result after a week of hard work.” 

 And it had been hard work. Scrambling across the globe, working through the system to get meetings with the shukusenth, walking the delicate line between asking for a vote and demanding it as the Lokke Vitras? These things were exhausting for me, which wasn’t to say that I hated them. I simply found problems that required a gun much easier to handle. 

 Flashing a smile at me, Feena said, “Definitely. Should we share a drink to celebrate? Sure, nothing’s set in stone yet but…” 

 While she spread her arms wide, Sanya cleared her throat. 

 “Isn’t… isn’t that bad luck?” she asked. 

 I exchanged a glance with Feena. 

 “There’s no such thing as luck,” I said, “only the circumstances that you create, whether for good or ill.” 

 Even saying that, I knew we shouldn’t be congratulating each other yet. I’d had too many guaranteed missions go sideways to think indulging in a celebration was a good idea, but what was the harm in simply acknowledging the work we’d done so far? 

 “All right,” Sanya said. 

 She still seemed nervous, but then, that was how she’d always been. I could only do so much to help her with it. 

 “Wonderful,” I said. 

 Given how badly I once more needed a break from my work, I couldn’t wait to get this celebration started. When I began climbing to my feet, though, Feena pressed a hand into my shoulder, keeping me on the ground. 

 “If you make us drinks, you’ll just pour yourself another glass of water,” she said. “I understand why you so rarely drink nowadays, but you need to learn when relaxing that practice is a good idea.” 

 Sighing, I nodded for her to get on with it, and after patting my arm, she left me and Sanya in a bubble of relative isolation. The shukusen kept picking at her clothes, grimacing every so often, and watching this, I felt the need to comfort her, even knowing how uncertain things were between us. 

 “Even if tomorrow doesn’t go our way, I’ll keep working with you until we’ve fixed this problem. You won’t have to deal with the consequences for your actions until it’s done,” I said. “You know that, right?” 

 With her nervous habit falling still, Sanya glanced at me while a sad smile spread across her face. 

 “I know,” she said. 

 Something about her response had felt… off to me, but before a sense of unease could finish clawing its way into my mind, Feena handed out drinks, and we descended into a night of drunken camaraderie.

Chapter 51: Or We Don't
I hated assemblies. I might have mentioned this before, but it was doubly true today. 

 Tension was rife in the air with the shukusenth, First Strata, and their aides standing in clumps around the room. As soon as the assembly began, House Kolb members would usher that last grouping out, but for now, they talked with the others, occasionally shooting glances at Sanya, Talira, or me. Today could be a historic day, after all, and we were the ones leading the charge into the unknown. 

 Stopping beside me, Talira touched my elbow. 

 “Relax,” she said through the teeth of her smile. “Right now, no one else will notice how tense you are, but someone will see it soon. Out of us all, you have to look the most confident today.” 

 Damnit. When had I fallen out of mission mode? 

 “I know that,” I said, “but thank you for the reminder, my s hukusen.” 

 Nodding, Talira let her hand slip off of me. 

 “How much longer should we let them stew, do you think?” she asked. 

 With my head cocked, I took in the room’s drawn-together shoulders, darting eyes, and chewed-on lips. 

 “Not much longer,” I said. “Maybe make one more stir of the pot? If you think that’s wise.” 

 “I do.” 

 Striding off, Talira put on a bright face as she approached the clump with shukusen Marza at its center, but I stayed where I was, standing behind my shukusen’s assigned chair with an easy smile in place. I severely missed Leski, Korix, and even Damari in this moment. The last twenty-five years had spoiled me. I’d gotten used to having an ally at my back on shaky missions. 

 And this one was shaky. It didn’t matter that we had the votes needed to see Cerullis’ proposal pass. It didn’t matter that a failure today would have little consequence for me or Lutov, becoming a minor setback instead. Since I’d woken up this morning, an acute sense of danger had been hovering over me, and I couldn’t pinpoint what was causing it, the same as I couldn’t shake it. 

 Then, Talira was moving toward me, and I pulled out her chair while the other First Strata did the same for their superiors. As always, Pheniks was seated to Talira’s right, the customary placement of Zan’s shukusen . Mother Time help us if we forsook that tradition to ease the current tension between Zan and Kolb. 

 Talira had never forgiven my brother for forcing her into approving his current placement, but unlike with me, she didn’t have constant contact with him to help her forget it. Instead, it had been left to simmer for over two decades. During the few times when they were together, I’d always done my best to ignore the conflict between them, dipping my head to Pheniks as he sat instead. He returned the gesture, but then, he turned away, and that was it. He’d never shown me warmth when playing the role of shukusen . 

 Once the last of them had sat down, Talira folded her hands on the table. 

 “I call this assembly to order,” she said. “Does anyone have an item to discuss?” 

 Without another word, everyone turned their attention to Sanya, and I had to smile. Sure, she had Teag’s hand on her shoulder, helping to steady her, but she faced the other five leaders of Lutov with such fierceness, only emphasized by the afternoon’s orange-tinted light around her. 

 “I won’t be rude enough to assume that you don’t know what my House has proposed,” she said with flint in her voice. 

 And Mother Time, if it didn’t make my heart swell on hearing it. Sanya had gone from a timid thing to this picture of defiance, and I found it breathtaking. What would I do when I must deliver punishment for everything she’d done? 

 “Our planet’s plight should be clear to you. I’ve brought it to your attention often enough that I’d be shocked if it isn’t, but for years, the problem has been ignored. I would like to change this,” Sanya continued. “My House is requesting the resources we need to establish a space program. Its primary aim would be to get our people off-plant, but in the future, I’d like to usher spacecraft through the Pinpoint so we can study the alien structure that’s destabilizing our sun. Our end goal would be to disable it. Given that the Houses have likely discussed this proposal extensively over the last week, I’d ask that we skip the tedium of a debate and get straight to a vote. Does anyone object?” 

 Sanya glanced around the table, and when no one said a word, she inclined her head to Talira. 

 “Then, I pass control back to this assembly’s Head,” she said. 

 And everyone ‘s heads rocketed to Talira. Now that the lengthy speech to introduce a topic was complete, it seemed we were all eager to quickly resolve it. 

 With an easy smile, Talira said, “All thanks to the shukusen for bringing this urgent matter to light. For the vote, Kolb casts in Cerullis’ favor.” 

 Not that this was a surprise, given how much I’d been advocating for it. Still, it lit a glow in my heart that my grandmother had followed my lead in this matter. 

 The room’s attention drifted to Orin, on Talira’s left. 

 “Kirst casts in favor,” he said. 

 Well, thank Mother Time. I could still read people. Perhaps feeling my eyes on him, Orin shot a quick grin at me before turning to the woman at his side. 

 Inspecting her fingernails, shukusen Marza said, “Drav casts against.” 

 That caused a stir. Since their specialties were so similar, Drav and Kirst’s shukusen rarely ever disagreed on an issue, and seeing it happen now was a surprise, to say the least. Still, her contradictory vote wasn’t a disaster, so as attention fixed on Sanya, I gave her an encouraging nod. 

 “Cerullis casts in favor, of course,” she said, smiling at me. 

 So, she hadn’t lost her confidence. That was good because another known factor would soon be added to the pool. 

 “Vaessa casts against,” Raelle said. 

 Of course she did. Her vote had been so predicable that I was looking at Pheniks before she was done speaking. With her vote, that woman could potentially be dooming our planet to destruction, and she was doing it solely because she didn’t like me. Why should I honor her with a shred of my attention? 

 When it came to Pheniks, however, I had no doubt that he’d make the right decision. Even if family loyalty no longer guided him, I knew he was interested in Cerullis’ proposed space program, and Pheniks didn’t cast aside the things he found appealing. 

 So, when he met my eyes, I resisted the urge to make a silly face at him, smiling instead. Rather than matching this, my brother kept his mouth in a flat line, and steadily holding my gaze, he said. 

 “Zan casts against.” 

 At those words, time froze for me. I felt the smile slipping off of my face, much like I could hear silence thickening the air around me, but I was still trapped in my head, hearing Pheniks’ words bounce in it. I couldn’t have heard that right. It couldn’t… couldn’t be right. 

 But then, Pheniks smirked—did he think this was a game? —and I knew there had been no mistake. 

 “Well. A split vote,” Talira said. “We’ll have to revisit Cerullis’ proposal next month-” 

 A strangled shriek interrupted her. Slapping her hands on the table, Sanya shot to her feet, breathing hard, and when she lifted her face to the room, tears were streaming out of her eyes. 

 “I didn’t want to do this,” she said. 

 She looked at me with such pleading on her face, and as she drew another breath, one that caught on a sob, I requested my rifle. 

 “Teag,” she said. 

 “Yes, my shukusen,” Teag said. 

 He swiped his fingers through the air the instant before my rifle’s energy bolt took him in the head. 

 Maybe he dropped to the floor. Maybe the other First Strata and shukusen started screaming while ducking under the table. If they did, I didn’t notice. Having already taken note of Talira at my side, lifting her own weapon, I was already in my array, searching for what had changed, besides the obvious. 

 Because something had. I could feel it. A buzz in my ears. A hum in the air. What was that? 

 “Sanya, what have you done?” Talira snapped. 

 “What I had to,” Sanya choked out. 

 I didn’t know how she was still standing. If someone I loved had been killed because of my orders, I would be a sobbing mess on the floor right now, huddling over their body. I would be incoherent . So, how did Sanya, someone who was less well-versed in emotional control, only have a tremble in her hands as she pushed away from the table? 

 “This assembly has proven me right. Logic won’t convince you about what must be done,” she said. “If having the vaunted Lokke Vitras’ backing won’t work, that what will?” 

 The other shukusenth and First Strata had started peeking back into view, and the cold smile that Sanya rained down on them as a result at them shivering. 

 “Perhaps a threat,” she said. 

 And her voice was ice. 

 “Right now, there’s a neurotoxin circulating through the air around us, tweaked to nullify our array’s healing ability,” she continued. “Go on. Verify what I’m saying, if you like.” 

 I didn’t need to. I could already see my array’s report on the chemical invading my bloodstream, just as I knew that the hiss I’d heard earlier had been a vat, releasing its contents. 

 “Over the course of several days, this neurotoxin will work its way through your bodies, dissolving your nerves until all that’s left of you is a pain-swamped brain, trapped in a body it can’t manipulate. If you’re very lucky, your organs will give out before then.” Sanya said before twisting her lips into a pained smile. "More vats of this toxin have been placed in the most densely populated sectors of Xygek. Some will have already unleashed their contents, but others will be held in reserve, to be secured once I’ve gotten what I need to save us all.” 

 She paused, letting her audience process what she’d said before making her demand. 

 “Give me what I want. Guarantee that Cerullis will get the resources we need to demolish the alien structure that’s threatening us all, and I will provide you with the antidote for the poison in your systems. And before anyone here gets any smart ideas, the formula for that is only located here.” 

 Sanya held her fingers to her head in the shape of a gun before pulling the metaphorical trigger. 

 “According to my calculations, you have about 2.3 weeks to make your decision or stop what I’ve done, if you can. I trust you’ll be quick about it.” 

 Without another word, she spun, storming out of the room, and didn’t once look at the body at her feet. Someone would need to clean that up before people started freaking out. 

 But I supposed they were already going to do that. As the room erupted into a cacophony of noise, I could only stand in place, staring at the door that Sanya had disappeared through. What had just happened? I couldn’t… 

 Rapidly blinking, I tried to focus, even if wading through my muddled brain seemed… impossible right now. Apparently, my danger sense—going off since this morning—had been right. When would I start listening to it? 

 And when would the people around me stop shouting? Couldn’t they see I was trying to…? 

 Why were they looking at me like that? 

 Wait. This feeling was familiar. Something similar to it had assaulted me a few days ago, when Baely had told me about her House naming ceremony. Was I in shock? 

 Sharp pressure on my arm had me turning to Talira. With her fingers pinching into me, she was red-faced, and something wild was in her eyes. 

 “What are you doing?” she hissed. “Go after her.” 

 Oh. Right. 

 Shaking myself, I took off running, tearing after a woman who’d become the worst traitor Lutov had ever seen.

Addendum
I don’t have much to say this time. I’m sorry, Elliot. Even remembering this part of my life takes a lot out of me, so talking about it… 

 Even still, you need to know what happened. These years were formative for me, the same as with the Ancients Crisis, and after learning about them, you might understand the reasons behind what I did to you. 

 As with my retelling of the Ancients Crisis, though, I’ve again left you on a cliffhanger, one that seems so reminiscent of what happened back then. Mother Time, when will I learn? 

 Anyway, I’m sorry for that too, but this truly is the best place for me to pause the story. Everything after it… 

 It will change your opinion of me. I hope that it doesn’t, but still, I know that hope is foolish. 

 Sometimes, I wonder if recording these tales will be the right thing for you, you know. Will this memoir help you, as I hope, or will it send you into a dark place that no one can rescue you from? Every time this question haunts me, I think back to a loss I went through, one similar to what you’re experiencing now. In the weeks and months after it, I’d have given anything —and I do mean anything—just to hear his voice again, and knowing how alike we are, I think you’ll be the same. 

 If you’re not, then at least I can rest easy in the knowledge that one of your friends will take this away before we get to the worst parts. 

 Speaking of which, we should do that. My dumbass self is about to run after shukusen Sanya, and we get to follow him.

Chapter 52: Explain Yourself
It was too loud in this room. Around me, shukusenth and First Strata filled the air with their shouting, and as always, my far too observant brain tried to pick their words apart. 

 “Yes, she was telling the truth about the neurotoxin, you ignorant-” 

 “-playing at? Does that bitch think intimidation will-?” 

 “Was Kolb in on this? The Lokke Vitras has seemed supportive of her in recent-” 

 “Don’t be silly! He’s the-” 

 Each phrase rolled through my brain, to be analyzed and cached, and I was barely keeping ahead of the tide, fighting to… to stay here. Maybe if I could move my focus elsewhere, I could do that. What had helped with this in the past? 

 Right. Analyzing what had happened. 

 Unlike what one First Stratus had suggested, I hadn’t known about shukusen Sanya’s plan to poison us. No, the truth of this disaster was much worse. I’d trusted her, helping her with the proposal that had brought us here today and because of this, Lutov’s leaders had been infected with a neurotoxin while the threat of further contamination ate at the walls I’d raised around myself. 

 I’d made a gigantic mistake. And the Lokke Vitras did not make mistakes. 

 One by one, the room’s occupants turned toward me, but before everyone’s attention could zero on my presence, Talira grabbed my arm. She looked… upset. Flushed. A little addled. I couldn’t think of the right words to describe her. 

 I did think I was suffering from a mild case of shock right now, though. 

 Pinching her grip on me, Talira hissed, “What are you doing? Go after her.” 

 One blink later, her words registered, and I nearly groaned aloud at my stupidity. Instead of doing that, though, I shook Talira off and sprinted out of the room. How had I let myself get cast so far adrift? 

 Fortunately, shukusen Sanya—was she still a shukusen? —hadn’t gotten far. Collapsed into a windowed wall, she had a hand clamped over her mouth, barely muffling her sobs, and as I approached, I wondered if Teag’s death had finally caught up with her. He’d been her lover, and she’d just left his body behind. 

 That theory got discarded when I could make out what she was saying. 

 “WhathaveIdoneWhathaveIdone?” 

 I didn’t know if that was a better or worse source for her distress. 

 “Sanya,” I said once I was close enough. 

 I wasn’t sure why I’d given her a warning that I was coming. After what she’d done, she’d become my enemy—she had to be, had to be —but I couldn’t see her as anything less than an ally still. Someone I… cared for, in a way. 

 At the sound of my voice, she stiffened, whirling on me with her face arranged into a calm mask. 

 “Lokke Vitras,” she said, “I thought you might come after me.” 

 “Then you know I have only one thing to say to you,” I said. 

 Sanya lifted an eyebrow as if I’d done something amusing. 

 “Do you mean ‘why’? I could ask a similar question of you,” she said. “Why haven’t you allied with me? I know a part of you wants to. Why haven’t you listened to it? And why have you murdered my- my First Stratus? He was only following my orders.” 

 Almost, her mask slipped there, but I ignored that. Growling, I took a step closer, which had Sanya darting her eyes to the rifle I was holding. Was she scared that I might shoot her? 

 Good. 

 “His name was Teag,” I snapped. “At least I have the decency to use the name of the man you loved, Sanya.” 

 This was, in part, why I was shaking like a leaf right now, even through mission mode’s freezing bonds. Sanya might not know it, but we fought a similar battle against our society. The difference was that in that battle, I would never put my loved ones in mortal danger like she had. What had she thought would happen after she’d ordered Teag to release her neurotoxin? 

 Maybe she hadn’t thought that part of her plan through, though. I should find out. 

 “How did you think I’d respond after you made Teag a threat while I was standing in the fucking room?” I said. “I didn’t know what his orders were, only that they would likely put people in danger, and with the way things were going, I wouldn’t have had time to incapacitate him. So, I eliminated the threat, something that Talira would have done in my stead if I’d refrained from it. Not that I need to explain myself after what you’ve done.” 

 Bristling, Sanya said, “At least I’ve tried to make our world a better place! I’ll you’ve ever done is perpetuate a stagnant system, one that not only oppresses an entire population but does much worse on a daily basis, most honorable Lokke Vitras.” 

 The mocking in those last few words should have slid off of my back. I was in mission mode, mostly closed off from my emotions, and similar things had been said to me before. 

 Instead, I jerked my rifle up and pressed it against her forehead, right where I’d shot Teag earlier. 

 “I am trying,” I hissed, “to peacefully change Lutov from the inside. I can’t help it that the least harmful path to my goal will also take the most time.” 

 Something in Sanya’s expression changed, and as she reached up to touch my wrist, she looked at me with such pity. 

 “Zaeden, significant change only comes through chaos,” she said. 

 And everything stiffened. My shoulders, suddenly rising for my ears. The muscles around my eyes, making them twitch. My finger on the trigger. Fortunately, that didn’t tighten enough to send an energy bolt carving through Sanya’s head. 

 I didn’t understand why this was happening. Sure, a tiny part of my mind was screaming at Sanya about how every life, even those that some might consider evil, was precious, and I must do everything I could to save the ones I had any control over, but that piece of me shouldn’t matter. What I felt could never matter, especially when I was facing the beginning of yet another shitshow. 

 So, taking a deep breath, I lowered my arm. 

 “We can’t argue about this,” I said. “Please, Sanya. Work with me to fix this mess. Give me the formula for the antidote that we need, and I’ll do my best to make sure you aren’t exiled.” 

 With a grim smile, Sanya said, “Why would I do that? I have you and the others where I want you. So, instead of stabilizing the status quo yet again, why don’t you help me? Let’s change everything that’s rotten about Lutov.” 

 I’d like to. Oh, how I’d like to. But… 

 “This isn’t the way,” I said. “If you won’t help me with fixing this, then you’ll be nothing more than a threat to me.” 

 And not five minutes ago, she’d had a potent example of what I did to threats. 

 Sanya slowly shook her head. 

 “I wouldn’t hurt me if I were you,” she said. “The key to the antidote is only found here, remember?” 

 When she tapped her temple, I laughed, cold and empty. 

 “You think you’re the only brilliant scientist in Lutov?” I said. “I doubt this antidote is so difficult to formulate that no one else can do it, especially in the time you’ve given us.” 

 “But you can’t take that chance,” Sany said on my words’ heel. “As me why not.” 

 Unfortunately, I knew the look she was giving me now. Sanya was sure she’d won, but instead of gloating like most victors did, she just looked sad. Then again, that had been a theme throughout this conversation. 

 Reluctantly, I said, “Why not?” 

 “A little over a week ago, you went on a mission, tracking down a member of House Kirst who was smuggling contraband across the Southern Fells,” Sanya said. “From what I’ve heard, he severely hurt you before you killed him.” 

 How had she heard about that? The only people who knew about my recent mishap were the various members of my family and Damari, none of whom would have let this information slip. They knew the Lokke Vitras must remain indomitable. 

 Maybe my target on that mission had sent a message before he’d died, though. That could explain it. Maybe. 

 “What about it?” I stiffly said. 

 “That man was one of mine. He was smuggling a vat of neurotoxin to a concealed location near your estate, and before you killed him, he succeeded in his mission,” Sanya said. “Your family’s been infected, Zaeden.” 

 There was a beat of quiet as her words washed over me. 

 Then, I grabbed her arm, twisting her so I could pull the limb up her back. Pinning her in place, I ground her head into the window while retrieving a knife, and I dug its blade into the fabric covering her ribs. No energy bolt for this foe. I’d make her death slow. 

 Sanya, however, only laughed, or she did so as much as she could. 

 “There it is,” she gasped. “Now, I’m your enemy.” 

 She was right. To this point, the Sanya I’d grown to know—timid, resilient, fierce when it counted—had been overlaying the desperate woman in front of me now. I hadn’t wanted to let go of my… friend, but with this, she’d forced me to. 

 “No one hurts my family,” I hissed. 

 Nodding with difficulty, Sanya said, “I know. That’s good. I’ll need you to stop me, after all, but not yet. So, think about what you’re doing.” 

 Ending a threat to Lutov and the people I loved. Keeping them safe by… by erasing a possible means to cure them. 

 Closing my eyes, I let air seep through my teeth before stepping back, and Sanya peeled herself off of the window, straightening her clothes. After a moment, the fire in my gut had been contained, and I met Sanya’s gaze. 

 “I won’t stop looking for another way,” I told her. 

 I wasn’t sure if that had been about finding an antidote or changing Lutov, but Sanya glanced up at me with a knowing grin regardless. 

 “I hope you find one,” she said. 

 With nothing else, she started for a lift, but before she reached it, she called over her shoulder. 

 “I’ll be in touch.” 

 Then, she was gone. Hanging my head, I rested my hands on my hips, considering everything that had happened. 

 “Mother Time damn it all,” I whispered.

Chapter 53: Crisis Mode
Turning on my heel, I headed back toward a room full of self-important people, all of whom were furious with me. I hadn’t gotten far before a message from Talira popped into my array.  

 Stay away. Your presence will only make things worse, it said. 

 That was… smart, actually. She’d have an easier time calming everyone down if I wasn’t there to draw their anger like a lodestone.  

 It did leave me with the question of what to do with myself, though. This was one of those situations where I was supposed to wait for the shukusenth to provide direction. They had a better view of the big picture than me, but even with that, I tended to ignore them, getting started with a mission’s prep work until I had more information. 

 Today, though, I couldn’t do that. Standing in the middle of a hallway, I was stuck in place because this current danger to Lutov was, in part, my fault. I wasn’t silly enough to think that everything should be blamed on me, but I’d definitely had a hand in it. Worse, because that hadn’t been intentional on my part. 

 I was the Lokke Vitras. I was supposed to keep the homeland safe, not get manipulated by a friendly face into poisoning its leaders. I couldn’t trust myself to make a decision when my thoughts were whirling like a tornado, refusing to fucking stop. 

 So, I did the only thing that might clear my head. Taking a lift to ground level, I stepped out of House Kolb’s headquarters and started walking. 

 It was a nice day outside with the sun dipping behind the towers. Elsewhere in the city, an early evening would have descended, but the day was nowhere close to over yet. A few hours remained before people started heading home for the night. This made foot traffic sparse, which was good. I didn’t have the focus needed to stay alert for threats when in a crowd. Even the scattered groups of people nearby were taxing me at the moment. 

 It didn’t help that they looked normal. As they rushed past, a group of friends jarred me with their laugher, pushing and jostling one another. Up ahead, a man had a child—what a rare sight—on his shoulders, and that small one was holding her arms out, giggling as her ride wove her back and forth. 

 All of them could have the neurotoxin circulating through their bloodstreams. All of them could have weeks to live. Or they could be perfectly healthy. I had no way to tell. 

 At least I knew what was happening in my own body. Pulling up a report on the toxin’s progress, I shrunk it to fit in the corner of my vision, there to stay until we could unravel this problem. Or until the neurotoxin killed me. 

 Strange thought, that. Not the dying bit. I faced death every day of my existence, but the idea that I might die because my body failed on me without an injury to prompt it? That was something I’d never thought of before. Considering how often disease killed the children of Ibis, they’d probably laugh at how incredulous it had made me now. 

 Maintaining a report on my body’s declining state might not help my mental health in the long run, but right now, it and the walk had helped with steadying me, a first step taken. What next? 

 Well, that was obvious. Once I’d made my requests for connection, it took a couple of seconds, but Leski and Korix accepted them within heartbeats of one another. 

 “Zae, what’s going on?” Leski said. “Headquarters has gone on lockdown, and no one will tell me what’s happening. Also, where are you?” 

 Lockdown. That must have happened after I’d left. Why would Talira have made that call, though? She had to know Sanya had gotten outside before the order had come down. 

 I must have taken too long with answering Leski’s question because Korix’s soothing voice soon filled the connection. 

 “I’m guessing the assembly didn’t go well,” he said. 

 Stopping short, I bit down on manic laughter, blinking at nothing until I had it under control. 

 “No. It did not,” I eventually said. “I’m so sorry to do this to you, my loves, but we have an Ancients-Crisis-level situation at hand, so I need you to listen to me.” 

 I paused for a breath on the off-chance that one of them needed to interject, but they said nothing. I tried not to extrapolate meaning from that. 

 “Ko, get Baely to our hideout on the other side of Lake Phiabe,” I continued. “Leski, as soon as you can leave headquarters, I need you to meet them there, and before either of you protest, I’m not in danger.” 

 Besides from the neurotoxin that was slowly dissolving my nerves, at least. 

 “I’m staying in Xygek long enough to touch base with Talira,” I said. “After she’s given me my orders, I will join you. I’ll explain everything, and we’ll go from there. All right?” 

 After I’d started talking, I’d heard footsteps on the other side of one connection, so it didn’t surprise me that the next words spoken weren’t directed at me. 

 “Baely, grab your go-bag for me,” Korix said. “We need to leave.” 

 “Dad? Wha-?” 

 I could barely hear my daughter’s voice, although it was growing steadily louder. 

 “What’s going on?” they said. 

 “I’m not sure yet, but don’t worry. We’ll be ok,” Ko answered. “Your parents are listening over a direct connection. You should tell them that you love them.” 

 “I… I love you, mom. Per,” Baely said. “You’re scaring me, dad.” 

 And didn’t that burn me? 

 “I know, honey. I’m sorry, but we need to go now,” Korix said. “Zae, anything else we should know?” 

 Mother Time bless him for always knowing how to handle unexpected crises. 

 “That’s it for the moment, “Good luck. Tell Baely-” 

 “I will,” Korix said, distracted by something. “I’ll do it for both of you.” 

 He cut the connection, which was good. I’d been starting to lose the clear-headed state that I’d achieved. As if to help me with retaining it, Leski cleared her throat. 

 "Zae, tell me everything will be ok,” Leski said. “I don’t care if it’s a lie. I need to hear it before I can get started.” 

 “Everything will be fine,” I said with no question in my voice. 

 Hell if I could tell whether I believed that, though. 

 “We will get through this like we have with every other upset in our lives,” I continued, “and even if we can’t, we will survive, so long as we have each other. Right?” 

 After a beat of silence, Leski released a held breath. 

 “Right,” she said. “Thank you, love.” 

 “Of course,” I said, “Now, get out of Xygek. And I love you.” 

 Chuckling, Leski said, “I love you too.” 

 When the connection cut, I focused on the world outside of my array, wondering where my wandering feet had taken me. A relatively open space surrounded me, one of the city’s parks presumably, but something about this one seemed familiar… 

 About a century ago, I’d made a drop into this park with Leski and Korix. Eleven years before that, I’d done the same with Feena on the night before my House naming ceremony. Why had my feet taken me here? 

 While I tried to answer that question, I headed to an empty bench before collapsing on it. As I sent out messages to the rest of my family, telling them to converge at the designated location, I was still puzzled by the mystery, but it was only as I finished writing these messages that I realized what the question was: a last defense mechanism. 

 At first, I’d had my walls—mission mode blocking off emotions—to keep my safe, but that had quickly failed. Then, a spot of physical activity and the preparations needed to guarantee my family’s safety had kept my mind occupied. That was done now, though, and without my defenses to protect me, what was hidden below the surface could emerge, full force. 

 Curious, then, that I did nothing more than sit, waiting for Talira to contact me. Numb. The perfect, little soldier. 

 Ha! Sanya would have laughed at that. 

 If a tear spilled over my cheek at that thought, I didn’t notice or care.

Chapter 54: Pep Talk
When someone sat on the bench beside me, it was enough to drag me out of my lethargy. Most people didn’t approach me without a reason, scared off by who I was, so I half-expected someone to start begging for my help or maybe for an autograph, although it was widely known that I didn’t like requests for that. 

 I could also soon feel a knife pressing against my side, though that was unlikely. My enemies, of those who remained, wouldn’t be dumb enough to attack me in such a public place. Then again, I’d been dumb enough to trust Sanya… 

 “You done fucked up this time, Zae-zae,” said the person beside me. 

 My grandmother. Of course. That made much more sense than my other theories. 

 I pulled an acknowledging noise from somewhere deep inside, dully wondering what would happen next. Would she scold me here, in public? That might be humiliating, but it didn’t seem likely. We didn’t want to panic the public with our problems, so long as we still could. 

 So, would she brush what had happened under the rug instead, telling me what to do? I’d eagerly await that. 

 Eventually, Talira said, “This is good.” 

 Rapidly blinking, I twisted toward my grandmother while leaning away, and although she continued staring straight ahead, she smiled, probably in response to getting a reaction out of me. 

 “How is… what just happened good?” I hissed. 

 Damn. I’d almost told the world about the poisoning of Lutov’s leadership. What was wrong with me? No. What was wrong with Talira, calling that good? 

 “Have I ever told you about when my shukusen, Dranek, sent me on a routine check of the Eastern Reach’s production facilities?” she said. 

 “I…” 

 Where the hell had that come from? 

 “No,” I said. “You never talk about when you were… me.” 

 Nodding, Talira said, “I don’t like thinking about it. It was…” 

 She said nothing more, but then, she didn’t have to. Except for Korix, I was the only other person in the world who could understand. 

 “Anyway, I set out, determined to finish the inspection as quickly as possible. I was irritated that Dranek had given me such a basic mission when I had so many other tasks to do,” Talira said. “When I arrived, I rushed through the inspection, finding nothing suspicious, and satisfied, I left. I was halfway back to Xygek when I got the message. During my sweep, I'd missed something. To this day, I don’t know what it was, but it caused a catastrophic failure of the production facility’s machinery, starting a chain reaction of explosions that irradiated a good sixth of the Eastern Reaches.” 

 As I snapped my eyes open wide, I could feel my eyebrows flying for my hairline, even as Talira grimly nodded. 

 “It was a nightmare. So many people were killed, which would have been bad enough, but without the resources that those production facilities had created, Lutovish citizens across the homeland would have started starving within the year,” she says. “I was distraught, of course, mostly because of what had happened but also because I’d failed as the Lokke Vitras. When I returned to Xygek, I thought for sure that Dranek would kill me for what I’d done. He was… not a kind man. But he just sat me down for a talk, and once we were done, I left, confident that I could fix the mistake I’d made.” 

 I badly wanted to ask how she’d done that, but another question seemed more pressing. 

 “How have I never heard about this?” I said. 

 Grinning, Talira rested her hand on my knee. 

 “That’s what I’m telling you, Zae-zae,” she said. “In their time holding the role, every Lokke Vitras in Lutov’s history has fucked up as badly as you just have. I certainly did. When he sat me down to talk, Dranek told me about his mistake, and if you’re very persistent, Korix might share his worst failing with you. We have all done things that have endangered to homeland. I’m surprised yours took so long to get here and yet…” 

 She gestured for me to fill in the blank. 

 “I’ve never heard about these mistakes,” I said. 

 “Because the way we solved them erased our involvement in how they started,” Talira finished. 

 I saw what she was trying to do, and even knowing it to be a manipulation, it was working. Instead of letting hopelessness numb me, I’d started thinking about how I could follow in my predecessors’ footsteps. Before I could devote myself to that pursuit, though, I needed to tie off the loose threads of Talira’s tale. 

 “So, how did you do it?” I asked. 

 Sighing, Talira leaned back on the bench, resting her arms on it with her legs spread wide. 

 “I had to do some things I’m not proud of. I certainly won’t talk about them with you,” she said, “but I also made a few things right. Back in my day, the entirety of Ibis was devoted to Lutov’s pleasure, in one way or another. Because we provided what they needed to survive, no one across the water had an ordinary life. We shuffled them through professions and the many forms of our torture like a card deck. It was a sordid time, one I don’t like thinking about, but because of my colossal mistake, I gained enough leverage to convince Vaessa of a plan I’d had in the works for years. 

 “Crinas and Flosari, where Ibis’ most fertile ground lay, would become farmland with the citizens of those nations tending to them, and we would use the food that they produced to keep from starving. It wasn’t much, that small loosening of our control, but it set a precedent that’s been followed to this day. It also solved one of Lutov’s problems in such a ‘groundbreaking’ and ‘novel’ way—” 

 Talira grimaced as she made air quotes. 

 “—that people fixated on it for years, long enough to sweep other issues under the rug. There’s more to it than that, but still, that’s the gist of my fuck up’s solution.” 

 Huh. I’d never thought that my grandmother might sympathize with the children of Ibis, but it made sense. Unless she was required to do otherwise, she was pretty hands-off with that landmass. 

 Not that anyone’s personal beliefs mattered right now. 

 “Do you have any suggestions for how to handle my mistake?” I asked. “I’d assume you do, otherwise you’d never have descended from on high to walk among the commoners.” 

 Talira whacked the back of my head. 

 “Shut up, smart ass,” she said. “Of course I have suggestions.” 

 Saying nothing more, she crossed one leg over her knee, and I sighed. 

 “Which are?” I drawled. 

 Wagging a finger on the bench’s backrest, Talira said, “Uh-uh. First, say please.” 

 Oh, Mother Time. Were we really doing this? After taking a calming breath, I smiled at her. 

 “Please,” I smoothly said. 

 “Good,” Talira said. “Now say, ‘I promise that I will listen to you from now on, oh most great and wise and magnanimous of shukusenth.’” 

 My pleasant mask cracked. 

 “I promise to listen, and you can shove the rest up your ass,” I said. “Congratulations. You’ve cheered me up. Now, tell me what to do.” 

 Pouting, Talira said, “You only had to ask.” 

 But then, her mischievous act melted away, returning her to the steady woman I knew. Hell, how well did she know me to pinpoint the exact mode of behavior that would drag me out of my lethargy? 

 Straightening, she rested her folded hands on her crossed legs. 

 “Right now, we have two problems to tackle: backlash from the other Houses and of course, the neurotoxin,” she said. “You cannot go near the first of these, my Lokke Vitras, even knowing as I do that fixing it will be your first inclination. Let me handle it. Instead, I want you to focus on the other issue.” 

 When she paused, I said, “Yes, my shukusen.” 

 Because what else could I say? I couldn’t argue with her when she was right. 

 “We should gather our resources first,” Talira said. “I’m sending you to retrieve a few scientists. You’ll find two of them at an old testing facility in Ostiu. It’s called Kalaski. You may have heard of it?” 

 “Yes. I’ve visited the place on inspections,” I said, “although I should mention that when I was there, something felt… off. I’ve never had the time to investigate it, though.” 

 Nodding, Talira rubbed her hands together. 

 “It’s good that you’ve been there before,” she said. “Because you have, this visit might not distress you as badly.” 

 “What do you mean?” I asked. 

 Talira just shook her head. 

 “You’ll see,” she said. “When you retrieve these scientists, you’ll need your brother. He’ll help you get there more quickly, and they’re unlikely to leave Kalaski unless their shukusen orders them to. Those two have no respect for the Lokke Vitras.” 

 And normally, I’d need nothing more to like someone, but with the way she’d said that, I wasn’t sure that qualifier applied this time. 

 “Your brother already knows about this,” Talira said. “After you meet with him, ask him any questions you have about the scientists. He’ll be ready to leave whenever you are.” 

 Great. I hadn’t thought about that. She was talking about my brother, meaning Pheniks, meaning the man who’d helped start this calamity. This coming trip wouldn’t be a disaster at all. 

 Rather than dwelling on that, I said, “Who else am I gathering?” 

 “There’s only one more person, but you won’t need to retrieve her,” Talira said. “When I asked them, your friend volunteered to pick her up.” 

 Cocking my head, I said, “Really? Does Damari know this scientist?” 

 “Indeed,” Talira said. “She’s their sister.” 

 Ah. Ok. Having Damari retrieve her made sense, then. Familial relationship and all- 

 Wait-a-minute. 

 “WHAT?” I shouted, lowering my voice when Talira lifted an eyebrow. “Misah? She’s unHoused!” 

 “If I’m recalling this correctly, so were you when you handled the Ancients Crisis,” Talira said. “I’ve been watching her progress for years, my Lokke Vitras. She’s the most brilliant, unHoused scientists I’ve seen in centuries, easily at the level of Zan and Cerullis’ highest Strata. In fact, she’s good enough that I might make her the shukusen of that troublesome House once this is over. We’ll see.” 

 She shrugged before pinning me with her gaze. 

 “What I’m saying is that you shouldn’t judge her because she’s young,” she continued. “I promise you. We’ll need her before the end.” 

 With my elbows on my knees, I rubbed my temples, shaking my head. 

 “I’m not judging her,” I said. “It’s just… she’s Damari’s sister.” 

 “And you’re worried she’ll get hurt,” Talira said. 

 Nodding, I dug my fingers into my skin until Talira pulled one of my hands away. 

 “So what if she is?” she said. “One girl’s life will never be as important as Lutov’s safety.” 

 Wrinkling my nose, I opened my mouth to retort, but Talira painfully twisted her hold on my hand, stopping me. 

 “No. You listen to me, like you promised,” she said. “I understand why you keep loved ones in your life. Over the last one hundred years, you’ve proven, time and again, how much better they make you at what you do. As much as they’re your greatest strength, however, they’re also your greatest weakness, and you still haven’t learned how to overcome it. I don’t want to see the best Lokke Vitras that Lutov’s ever seen brought low because he couldn’t find the strength to grapple with a simple truth. Because of who you are, your loved ones will get hurt. It’s inevitable. So, accept this fact and move on.” 

 With Talira carefully watching me, I swallowed and nodded. I wondered if she knew how loudly I was screaming NEVER in my head as I did, but she must not have heard it, given that she released me. 

 “Good. And I’m sorry,” she said. “Now, what will you do?” 

 Never one to dwell on unpleasant moments, this one. 

 “Collect Pheniks from where he’s hiding,” I said. “Then, secure my ‘weakness’. If the shukusen approves.” 

 Talira didn’t comment on my obvious jab, merely inclining her head in assent. 

 “As soon as they’re settled, I’ll head to Kalaski,” I said. “I’ll keep you updated, but I don’t expect that this will take me more than a couple of days.” 

 “A solid plan,” Talira said. “Once you’ve brought the scientists back, they can work on an antidote for the neurotoxin while we discuss Cerullis. Twice that House has threatened Lutov in less than two centuries, and that is unacceptable.” 

 “Do you have a plan to keep them in line?” I asked. 

 Narrowing her eyes, Talira stared at nothing. 

 “I have ideas,” she said before slapping her knees, “but that’s for when you get back. After all, you have a fuck up to fix. So, go!” 

 Lifting a hand, she flicked her fingers at me, and I rolled my eyes. 

 “A pleasure as always, my shukusen,” I said. 

 After getting to my feet, I bowed to her, but then, I departed the park, leaving Talira on the bench behind me.

Chapter 55: Families Are Made to Frustrate
When I met Pheniks at his apartment, I said nothing to him. I said nothing as I led the way to a landing pad. I said nothing while waiting for him to climb into the skycruiser after me. I said nothing throughout the flight, staring at the Barasgami Mountains as the sun set behind them. 

 After crossing to the other side, I set the skycruiser down in an empty patch of the Southern Fells and got out without a word. Fortunately, Pheniks followed me when I strode into the dark. 

 Now, no matter how quiet I might have been to this point, the same hadn’t been true internally. Questions kept popping into my head, most of which I abandoned when they emerged, but some stuck around. 

 How could you be so selfish? 

 Did you really vote against Cerullis’ proposal out of revenge? I thought you'd forgiven me! 

 Where’s my little brother, the boy who wouldn’t have understood the bitterness that’s overtaken you these last few years? 

 “Where are we going?” 

 The spoken-aloud question drew me out of my thoughts, forcing me to consider breaking the silence that had lain between me and Pheniks. 

 “Hideout,” I gruffly said. “Not much further.” 

 “Right! I got your message about that earlier,” Pheniks said. “That’s good, though. Walking through this crap is hard.” 

 I rolled my eyes. Sure, as we stepped forward, grass might be pulling on our legs, but moving through it wasn’t that difficult. 

 When I refused to comment, Pheniks said, “About what happened earlier…” 

 He trailed off as if expecting me to continue for him, but I had nothing to say. In fact, I hoped he dropped the subject. I had… feelings about it, and despite knowing it to be unwise, I had yet to process them. I wasn’t sure what would happen if he insisted on hashing this out now. 

 The crunch of my brother’s feet in the grass stopped, but I didn’t slow my own pace. He could catch up once he’d gotten himself under control. 

 “Is that it, then?” he suddenly shouted. “You’ll just ignore me for this entire trip?” 

 I focused on scanning my surroundings for danger and watching the ground, where I’d place each step. I didn’t acknowledge what had blazed through me each time Pheniks had spoken. 

 “I would rather focus on the mission,” I said. 

 Pheniks laughed, a little manically to my ear, before rushing in front of me, forcing me to stop. I examined his reddening face, pushing what was threatening to erupt from me deeper inside. Which was idiotic and really unhealthy. 

 “The mission,” Pheniks hissed. “Why is it always the damn mission that comes first? Yes, I get it! You’re the almighty fucking Lokke Vitras, and that’ll always be more important than me and what I want. I’m learning how to deal with it, but come on, Zaeden. In what possible world is talking to me going to threaten your sacred mission?” 

 With my lips pursed, I took a calming breath through my nose. He didn’t understand. He would never understand, even if I tried to explain it to him. Mother Time knew I’d outlined my methods often enough in the past, but it never stuck. 

 If we talked, the beast inside of me might break free of its cage, and if it did, if I gave in and did what I’d wanted to since first seeing Pheniks’ face, it would have consequences. He might refuse to help me, despite what was at stake, and I needed him for this mission to be a success. This mission had to be successful if Lutov was to stay safe. 

 My reasoning was tangential, I was aware. The chance that my proposed scenario would occur was low, but when it came to missions, especially ones that were this important, I didn’t take unnecessary risks. 

 So, I said, “I’m sorry. I don’t have an answer for you.” 

 And I pushed around Pheniks, once more headed toward my family’s hideout. They’d be there when we arrived—my wife, daughter, and life partner—and I had to admit. I wasn’t sure if I was more relieved by that prospect or jittery about having to explain what had happened. I didn’t want to tell Baely that her short life might soon come to an end because of me. 

 In part. This had happened in part because of me. 

 “Why did you do it?” 

 For a second, I could only blink before frowning. Why the hell had I said that? 

 “You mean vote against the proposal?” Pheniks asked. 

 Jerkily, I nodded. I might as well get an answer now that the question was out there. 

 “I had my reservations about it from the beginning,” Pheniks said. “Why would I give Zan’s rival House more power by increasing their field of study?” 

 I opened my mouth to share what I thought about such short-sightedness, but Pheniks got there first. 

 “I’m not discounting the threat that Sanya has brought to our attention. We need to deal with it,” he said, “but I didn’t think that handing Cerullis the keys to outer space was a good idea. I mean, consider where that could lead, Zae! What if their space program took off? You should know how quickly people’s opinions about something can change, given the right impetus. What if we decided to colonize other planets or strip-mine asteroids in the far distant future? I know those scenarios are far-fetched, but I didn’t want to give one House the power over these things. There had to be another way.” 

 “So, you were conflicted,” I said. 

 Slowly, oh so fucking slowly, the fire blazing through me faded. Pheniks had given me a logical explanation for what he’d done, something I could understand. Something I could forgive. It would have been better for him to voice these concerns before striking down Cerullis’ proposal but- 

 “Yes, I was conflicted,” Pheniks said, “but still, I would have cast my vote in favor of the proposal if not for you.” 

 When I stopped short, my brother ran into me, backing off with a mumbled apology, but I didn’t fully hear it. 

 Turning to him, I said, “What?” 

 Sheepishly, Pheniks rubbed the back of his neck. 

 “What can I say?” he said. “It’s been years since the upset that made me a shukusen, but despite how we decided to resolve things then, something’s still felt off between us. I thought that if I ruined something you considered important, like you once did to me, it might even the scales between us.” 

 Shrugging, he threw his arms to either side before letting them slap to his thighs. 

 “It was a mistake.” 

 A mistake. 

 “Are you telling me that you put the lives of the shukusenth, of Xygek, of my damn family in danger out of some petty desire to get even?” I said. 

 Taking a step back, Pheniks raised his hands. 

 “I didn’t mean to hurt anyone,” he said. 

 Of course he hadn’t. He never did. 

 “My daughter, your niece, might die in two weeks because of you,” I hissed. 

 Damn, that had hurt to say with such fire burning alongside the words, but never mind that. I looked at Pheniks, and Mother Time, if I didn’t want to hit him. A tiny, unreasoning part of me wanted to wring his neck, but I didn’t go anywhere near him, keeping my feet glued to the earth. 

 Because no matter what he did, Pheniks was my little brother, and I’d protect him, even from myself. 

 He didn’t seem to have the same convictions. Rushing to me, he took hold of my collar, jerking me forward until all I could see was the spark in his eyes. 

 “I didn’t poison us,” he snapped. “That was Sanya, the crazy bitch who lost her damn mind because she didn’t get what she wanted-” 

 I shoved him away. 

 “She did what she had to because you lot wouldn’t listen to her,” I shouted. “Do you know how many times she tried to tell you-?” 

 “You’re seriously taking her side right now?” Pheniks shouted over me. “She’s the… hell, what insane term would you use for her? She’s the enemy!” 

 Oh, I should shut up. I should stop right now but… 

 “That doesn’t mean she’s wrong!” I snapped. “For the love of all that might be holy, how corrupt are you and this… this whole fucking system that you can’t see that! You’d rather that we burn than give up your damn power. Hell. Maybe- maybe I should join-” 

 I was so focused on letting my inner beast—who was I kidding? It was anger—roar through me that I didn’t see the fist coming for my face. It connected, sending me stumbling back a step, and I had no clue what stopped my reaction to annihilate my attacker. It kept me frozen for long enough to see Pheniks staring at his fist in shock. He’d punched me? 

 Rallying, he showed me his teeth. 

 “You should be more careful, Lokke Vitras,” he said. “If you’d finished that thought, I’d have had to report it to the shukusenth , and who knows what would have happened then? I’d hate to see Baely finish growing up without her beloved per to protect her.” 

 I tackled him. There was no thought behind it, just a crashing wave of raw emotion that propelled me forward. We hit the ground, and somehow, Pheniks, whose House Kolb training had long since rusted away, ended up on top. Stinging force slammed into my cheek, but when Pheniks went for my face again, I caught his wrist, swinging my elbow at his jaw. That blow plus a twist of my hips—a move I’d long practiced—had him tumbling off of me, and in an instant, I was straddling him with one of his arms trapped between our legs and another in my hold. I reached for a hidden knife before glancing at my foe, and the world snapped for me. 

 This wasn’t a hostile beneath me. I was pinning my little brother to the ground while going for a weapon to kill him. I froze, something that one should never, ever, ever do in a fight, and in that pause, Pheniks headbutted me. 

 What the hell? 

 Even as I collapsed backward, I was thinking this, but that question didn’t stay with me for long. Pheniks wriggled out from under me, kicking me once he was on his feet. I scrambled away on all fours before springing upright, just in time for him to fall on me. He was relentless and furious with his strikes, so much so that it tested my ability to dodge them, but that was what typically happened when someone descended into the animal that inhabits us all. 

 We went like this for a bit, all while I waited for him to tire himself out. It had to happen at some point, but in the meantime, I blocked and whirled away from far more attacks than I’d expected. Where was he getting the energy for this? 

 Eventually, he stopped with his body trembling and his eyes wet. 

 “Hit me!” he screamed. “You should be hitting me! Why aren’t you hitting me?” 

 Oh. I knew what this was: all of it, from the beginning of the conversation to now. I’d been where he was too many times to count. So, when Pheniks attacked me again, I caught his wrists before transferring them to one hold. Wrapping an arm around my brother, I pulled him to me, and he stiffened before sobbing into my shoulder, spreading moisture across my shirt. 

 “I’m sorry,” he said. “I’m so sorry.” 

 “I know,” I said. ‘I’m sorry too.” 

 Soon enough, Pheniks started squirming, and when I let him go, he stepped back, looking anywhere but at my face. Conversely, I no longer wanted to punch him. It was funny how a fight could resolve a conflict like this, if only slightly. Mother Time knew that certain types of actions, including brothers getting into a scrap like little boys again, worked better than empty words at times. 

 “This,” Pheniks said, pointing at the ground, “never happened.” 

 Nodding, I said, “Fine by me. What are we telling the others, though? We’re close to the hideout, and when we get there, I don’t want to wait for our arrays to heal us.” 

 Shyly, Pheniks glanced up at me with a grin. 

 “We fell? Repeatedly?” he said. 

 Snorting, I said, “Sure. You try that. I’m sure Feena won’t see through our old excuse almost immediately.” 

 “And your family wouldn’t do the same?” Pheniks said. 

 As I resumed our trek, he trotted to keep up. 

 “Oh, there’s no way I’m hiding this from them,” I said. “Ko will take one look at me and know what happened, and he’ll tell Leski at some point, if she doesn’t pick up on it herself. As for Baely, she’s always been too perceptive, especially when it comes to what might have caused an injury.” 

 Pheniks was silent for a time, which I was grateful for. After such a tumultuous day, a spot of peace was nice, even if it would be short. 

 As the hidden entrance to my family’s hideout came into view, Pheniks said, “I really am sorry that I threatened-” 

 I flapped a hand at him. 

 “We can’t waste time on regret, Phen. Just help me fix it,” I said. “Besides, we’re here.”

Chapter 56: Explaining My Mistake
Glancing at the empty moors around us, Pheniks frowned. 

 “We’re here? But there’s nothing… wait. Isn’t this where someone’s estate was glassed a century ago?” 

 Fortunately, I banged my foot into a distinctly metal portion of the ground at that moment, shutting him up. After all, he was right. We were standing on the ground where Korix’s estate had used to rest. 

 But we had security measures to get through. 

 As other family members had approached this place, Korix would have met them along the way, verifying their identities, but that precaution wouldn’t be necessary for me. Long ago, Leski, Korix, and I had established the perimeter around this place, and its security network was strong enough that besides the three of us, only Talira could crack it. Still. That didn’t mean we abandoned all safety measures. 

 When a connection request flashed in my array, I accepted it, and it quickly established. 

 "What name did you first know me by?” Korix asked without preamble. 

 With a faint smile, I said, “Garreth, of course. You have no idea how often that name was on my lips in the weeks after-” 

 “It’s definitely him,” Korix said, probably to someone else. 

 As the connection cut, I chuckled, stepping back so that the panel beneath my feet could open. 

 “What was that about?” Pheniks said. 

 “They were making sure I’m me before letting us in,” I said, swaying in place. 

 I couldn’t help it. Having all of the people I loved in one, safe place? Despite our circumstances, it made me insanely happy. 

 “What about me?” Pheniks said. “How do they know that I’m me?” 

 Glancing at him from the corner of my eye, I said, “You think I wouldn’t have noticed if something was off about you?” 

 Sure, I hadn’t noticed the same thing in Sanya recently, but Pheniks was my brother. He’d never been able to hide things from me. 

 “Well… no,” he said. 

 “Then, why would they need to check your identity?” I asked. 

 When the panel in front of me opened, I descended the ladder that it had hidden, knowing Pheniks would be quick to follow. At the bottom, warm light greeted me, and I relaxed, taking a deep breath of home before turning. 

 Korix was there, hugging his elbows as he ran his eyes over me. He stopped on my face, lifting an eyebrow in question, and I shook my head. My fight with Pheniks wasn’t something he needed to worry about. 

 At the end of the hall, Leski and Baely were hanging from a doorframe, and when I smiled at them, they relaxed, if only minutely. As soon as Pheniks stepped off of the latter, that went away with excitement lighting Baely’s face while Leski scowled. She’d never liked my brother. 

 “Uncle Phen!” my daughter shouted. 

 She ran to him, barely giving him time to prepare before launching herself at him. From what little I’d seen, she must have decided on some body modifications. At the least, her facial features had started softening. Not that it was any of my business! My daughter could decide what, if anything, they wanted to do with their body. 

 When Pheniks caught them, he shot a foot back to maintain his balance, but this only made him laugh. 

 “Well, hello there!” he said. “How’ve you been, little one?” 

 "Great! Or I was until earlier, I guess, but that’s ok!” Baely babbled while pulling away from Pheniks. “It’s so good to see you-oh your face!” 

 Hesitantly, she grazed a hand over a red splotch on Pheniks’ cheek, and with a wince, he pulled her fingers off of him. 

 “It’s all right,” he said. “Nothing time and my array can’t fix.” 

 The fiercest of expressions planted itself on Baely’s face, one that made me smile. If Pheniks had thought he was in trouble before, he was about to learn differently now. 

 “Not good enough,” Baely snapped. “Come on. I’ll fix you up, and you can tell me what happened.” 

 Reversing Pheniks’ grip on them, they marched deeper into the hideout, tossing a ‘Hi, per!’ over their shoulder as they went. 

 “Hi, sweetie!” I called back. “Don’t hurt your uncle, please.” 

 As she made a noncommittal noise, Pheniks glanced back at me in a panic, and I snickered as they disappeared. Oh… I already felt better. 

 “So?” 

 I glanced at Korix while lifting an arm for Leski to slide under. 

 “You’re obviously not hurt, not significantly at least,” he said, flicking his eyes to my split lip. “So, why are we here?” 

 Sighing, I looked away. This would be difficult. 

 “We should get comfortable first,” I said. 

 I led the way into the hideout. Past the doorway was a cozy cave of a room, stuffed with chairs, pillows, and a few lamps. A small kitchen took up one corner with a hallway beside it, one that led to a set of bedrooms. Baely had Pheniks sitting on a chair near the kitchen’s counter, applying a salve to his red marks, and on a sofa near the entrance, my father was perched with Feena beside him. Given that, I had to assume that mom was in one of the bedrooms. 

 My father’s presence here surprised me. I’d sent my parents the same message about meeting here as I’d done for my siblings, but I’d thought for sure that he’d ignore it, trusting in his mother’s safety precautions over mine. She was a shukusen, after all. 

 I wasn’t sure what to think of having him here. Obviously, I was glad that he and mom were safe, but I didn’t need the added stress of walking on my tiptoes around them on top of everything else. Maybe I should ignore them until the crisis had passed? That would make a nice turnabout, given how absent they’d been throughout my life. At the least, it was what I was doing now. 

 Fortunately, Feena didn’t seem upset when I strode past her without saying hello. She and I should have a chat about everything we’d done last week while trying to get the shukusenth on board with Sanya’s proposal, but first, I had to brief my partners on the situation. 

 Once we were in a bedroom, I collapsed on its bedroll while someone else locked the door. Leski and Korix sank to the ground in front of me with concern on their faces, and biting my lip, I took their hands. 

 “First of all, I love you, and I’m sorry,” I said. 

 If anything, what should have been a reassurance tensed them further. Leski even leaned away from me because I never said the words ‘I love you’ to Korix. Sometimes, I got close enough that I might as well have said it, but I never spoke it outright. The only reason that I’d done it now had been because while I’d directed those words at both of my partners, they could have been meant only for Leski. 

 “Don’t be sorry when you haven’t explained yet,” Korix said. 

 Making a noise of agreement, Leski reached out to brush my split lip. 

 “You got in a fight with your brother?” she asked. 

 With my face going blank, I said in monotone, “No, I fell. Several times.” 

 Then, I grinned, grabbing Leski’s hand so I could kiss her palm. 

 “Don’t worry, love. Everything’s fine, at least in that part of the world,” I said. “Everywhere else, though…” 

 Releasing Leski, I met Korix’s unreadable eyes. 

 “I fucked up,” I said. 

 Something flashed across his face—fear maybe?—but he nodded in understanding of what I was really saying. 

 “Just tell us,” he said. 

 He was right. They needed to know how bad the situation was. I might as well get it over with. 

 So, I explained everything, starting from a week ago. They took it pretty well—even the being poisoned bit—although Korix shot to his feet, pacing to rest his forehead on the door, when I detailed everything that Sanya had done. 

 I’d expected this, though. I might not know what sort of relationship lay between those two, but it was clear that they’d been close at some point. Still. I hadn’t expected to see something this expressive from my normally non-emotive life partner. Once I’d finished, he was still at the door, and I couldn’t stop staring at him. Why was he so upset about-? 

 “So, we have two weeks to live unless these scientists you’re looking for can craft an antidote,” Leski said. 

 Dragging my eyes off of Korix, I crookedly smiled at my wife. 

 “Sounds about right, yes,” I said. 

 “Then, why are we still sitting here?” Leski said before glancing over her shoulder. “Ko, get Baely ready, and tell the rest what’s going on. I don’t know who among them, if any, will want to join us, but either way, they deserve to know the situation. I’ll handle him.” 

 Nodding, Korix dragged himself off of the door, leaving the room without looking at us, but I’d dropped the mystery of his strange behavior in favor of glaring at my wife. 

 “I’m sorry. How many people do you think will be joining us?” I said. “You, I understand. Of you and Ko, you’re the one who’s living in my world right now, but our daughter is staying right here. We have to keep them safe, Leski.” 

 “And visiting Ostiu while under the protection of the most dangerous man in Lutov is oh so life-threatening,” Leski said, rolling her eyes. 

 When I tried to retort, she swiveled to her knees, smashing a finger to my lips. 

 “No. You hush for a moment,” she said. “If we only have two weeks to live, I’m not forcing our daughter, who adores her per and is stronger than she looks, to hide. She will live, Zae. She will go with us to save the homeland so that if we die, she has something to be proud of. Also, if you think Ko and I won’t drop everything when you’re so clearly overwhelmed, then you’re a fucking idiot. Please. Be reasonable and accept the help. I’m going to remove my finger now. When I do, I’d better hear only sensible words coming out of your mouth.” 

 As she’d said, she lifted her finger, revealing my scowl, but she didn’t find my petulance as amusing as she normally would. She stared at me with her mouth pulled into a thin line until I sighed. 

 “I hear your reasoning,” I said. “I’m not sure if I agree with it, but I learned a while ago that I should capitulate when you get like this. You’ll do what you want anyway.” 

 And if the situation got too dangerous, I could always sneak away from my companions. The only one who might notice me doing that was Korix, and he’d understand. 

 “Good. I’m glad that’s decided,” Leski said. “Now for the other half of handling you.” 

 Unbuttoning her shorts, she pulled them over her hips before tumbling backward so she could pull them off of her legs, all while I watched with my head tilted. When she noticed that I hadn’t moved, she lifted an eyebrow. 

 “Well, come on! Get those slacks off,” she said. “We don’t have much time.” 

 “Leski…” I said. “I don’t think-” 

 “Yes, obviously,” Leski said with a huff. “If you were thinking, you’d see the snarled ball of feelings that you are right now. You’d see that staying in this state will only harm Lutov and us, and you’d know that there’s one, quick way to temporarily fix the problem.” 

 With a bemused smile, I said, “I hardly think that meaningless sex is going to help me.” 

 “For the love of- you are such an idiot!” 

 Climbing into my lap, Leski kissed me, soft and tender and so full of love that I couldn’t help but relax into it. When she pulled away, she brushed a thumb under my eye. 

 “It wouldn’t be meaningless. It would be me, offering you something that you need, because I want to do that and because I love you, you ridiculous man,” she said. “Now, would you please get on with fucking me? We need to leave soon.” 

 With a sigh, I curled a strand of her hair around my finger. 

 “That has to be the worst come-on line I’ve heard in my life,” I said. 

 “Are you kidding me-mph?” 

 A handful of minutes later—Mother Time, if we weren’t attuned to each other—we walked into the hideout’s common room. As expected, it was relatively calm with people clutching their go-bags in preparation of leaving. 

 As Korix joined us, I hissed, “All of them are coming? Are we traveling with an entourage now?” 

 “Apparently,” Korix said with a faint smile. 

 He seemed better, but that didn’t surprise me. Activity always helped after an emotional upset. 

 “Even my parents?” I said. 

 Shrugging, Korix said, “They seemed adamant about helping. I told them they could do that by staying safe, but they only laughed at the suggestion.” 

 “Ugh…” I groaned. 

 Korix didn’t respond to my obvious distaste. If it wasn’t difficult enough that my parents and I were… not close, his relationship with them had always been strained as well. They blamed him for my ascension to the role of the Lokke Vitras, even after I’d explained that he’d offered me a chance to escape it. I had chosen to stay and take up the mantle. 

 They didn’t see it as my choice, though, more that Korix had manipulated me into the decision. It was one more reason that I struggled with maintaining my calm when I was around them. Even still, I loved them. 

 I did! They’d taught me many lessons that had improved my life and given me a… decent childhood. I supposed. Maybe it hadn’t been so great, but I didn’t want to think about that right now. 

 Even with that, though, they were good people, individuals I’d normally like to spend time with. Unfortunately, there was too much history between us for that to be feasible. 

 Lightly touching my elbow, Leski said, “They can watch Baely.” 

 And there was the second reason that my relationship with my parents wasn’t in shambles. Unlike a certain shukusen I could mention, Mirah and Ximon were excellent grandparents, and my daughter loved them. So, I put on a false smile, accepting the fact that they were coming weith us. 

 Along with everyone else. Hell, why had I agreed to this? 

 Striding into their midst, I said, “All right. We’re headed to Ibis. I know it’s late, but timing’s everything right now. You can sleep on the way. For this part of the journey, I don’t care how you get there, but once we arrive in Flosa’s Travel Center, we’ll stick together. Clear?” 

 Everyone around me murmured agreement, although when Feena caught my eye, I nodded. We’d talk while on the way. 

 “Let’s get out of here, then,” I continued. “Safe journeys to you all.” 

 Fortunately, most of my family, including my partners, responded to my dismissal, moving toward the exit so I could bring up the rear. Pheniks decided to linger, sidling toward me while people filtered up the ladder. 

 “You look better,” he said when he was beside me. 

 Remembering Leski’s efforts to get me to this state, I smiled. 

 “We’ll see how long it lasts,” I said. “Baely did a good job of patching you up.” 

 Touching his cheek, Pheniks said, “Yes. She’s always had a talent for healing.” 

 He fell silent, keeping quiet until we were alone in the hideout. 

 “Zae, these scientists we’re retrieving?” he said. “There’s something you should know about them." 

 Of course there was. 

 “If you tell me they eat babies or something equally as evil, we might have to revisit that tussle we had earlier.” 

 From the corner of my eye, I watched Pheniks cross his arms, as if he was protecting himself. 

 “No, no! It’s nothing like that,” he said, “but when it comes to their research, their methods can be a little aggressive, and… I just want you to be prepared for what you might see.” 

 Finally, I turned to my brother, wondering if the peace we’d just achieved was about to be ruined. 

 “Tell me what I’m walking into, then,” I said.

Chapter 57: Proof of My People's Evil 1
Forgive me for the interruption, Elliot, but there’s something I should explain before we get into this chapter. You know where this past version of me is headed, just as you might have guessed who the scientists I’m seeking are. I am so sorry for bringing those utterly vile people into your mind again, but they are, unfortunately, a part of this story. 

 I’ve been struggling with how to handle this. Should I leave them out? Should I rename them, pretending that they were someone else? 

 In the end, I’ve decided to simply call them ‘the scientists’ while using gender neutral pronouns for them, making it clear who they are while also distancing you from them. Having spent the last year helping you deal with everything that they did to you, this seemed like the best approach. 

 And if it’s not… it’ll be one more reason that you should hate me. With my warning given, however, we should return to the story. 

   

 When we reached Zoln in the early hours of the next morning, Pheniks took us straight to House Zan’s headquarters. 

 “If we’re to have any chance of these people listening, then I need to freshen up,” he said. “They only respect me because I’ve always presented myself as an unruffled shukusen when around them. All of which is to say that they’re a handful to manage.” 

 Knowing how important appearances could be, most of us didn’t protest, although Baely looked confused by the detour. Were they wondering why we were delaying for a change of clothes after the rush to get here? 

 Fortunately, Pheniks had learned the art of a quick costume change. He only needed five minutes before leading us to a tube at the base of the tower. He loaded us into separate tubes, inputting an access code into them before they could move, but then, we were shooting beneath the earth to the lower tip of Ibis’ crescent. 

 As we went, I occupied myself with thoughts of what would soon be undulating across the surface above. Mist, the result of the Upheaval that had once torn Ibis and Lutov apart, covered Ostiu to the west of Zoln. Traversing that fog was perilous as the mysterious phenomena attached to it could get an unsuspecting traveler lost in it. It was better if I thought about how images from the past might lure me off of a safe path than to consider everything Pheniks had told me before we’d left Lutov. 

 After an hour, we arrived, leaving my companions rapidly blinking while their eyes adjusted. I’d had my array constrict my pupils before the tube had come to a stop, aware from past experience of the disorientation that was planned for visitors here, so I got a glimpse of the lab before everyone else. With its tiled walls and wood accents, the place reminded me of spas back home, but even before I’d known the extent of what happened here, a scene that should have been calming had always rung sinister to me. Now that I knew what happened here, I saw it for the cheap veneer of pleasantry that it was, a cruelty to the unsuspecting and an insult to anyone who knew better. 

 The scientists that we needed to retrieve were here to greet their shukusen, but since Pheniks’ tube was still quite a way out, they examined us with clinical curiosity. Even having met them before, their disregard for the Lokke Vitras in their midst surprised me. Once, I’d been grateful for it. Now, it just made me more determined as I strode to them, and when I came close, I bowed. 

 “Honored Second Strata,” I said. “I wondered if one of you might give me the pleasure of observing your progress while we wait for shukusen Pheniks. It need not be anything sensitive for your House. I’d simply like to admire the work of such brilliant people.” 

 Stroking the egos of people like this was usually a good first step toward getting what I wanted from them. We’d see if it worked this time. 

 The scientists exchanged a glance. 

 “That can be arranged,” one of them said. “Why don’t you oblige our guest, darling?” 

 “I’d love to,” the other one said. 

 When the second of them turned on their heel, I gestured for my companions to stay here before following the scientist. I knew that my loved ones, Korix and Leski especially, would want to stay by my side until this crisis was resolved, but for harmless tasks like this, they’d have to let me go alone. 

 Honestly, I found the situation a little funny. After a century with me as the Lokke Vitras, they must know that I could handle our current circumstances, no matter how overwhelmed I might be. Yet still, they insisted on helping, which I found endearing. 

 It was also frustrating as hell because I knew that with the distinct exception of Korix, I’d have to moderate how I solved our problems while around them. True, almost all of my loved ones were from House Kolb, mostly immune to the horrors of violence, but besides rare situations, they’d never had to question the morality of their actions, not on a grand scale at least. They’d never had to do something that could only be classified as evil. Every mission that might call for such a choice got pushed onto the Lokke Vitras. Onto me and at one point, Korix. Given that, I wasn’t sure how long my loved ones could trail me before I had to do something that would made them spurn my presence. 

 Fortunately, that time wasn’t now. As I trailed behind one of Kalaski’s scientists, a door slid closed behind me, cutting off my view of my family, and the part of me that constantly worried about their opinions relaxed. We headed down halls—all of them brightly lit and immaculate—before turning into a room with a holodrama plate at its centerpiece. 

 “You’ll have to forgive me,” the scientist said. “I’d give you a live demonstration, but our current batch of test subjects is resting. Putting them through their rounds so soon after the last experiment might have them expiring before we’ve fully used them, and we wouldn’t want to waste resources like that, would we?” 

 I had no idea how I kept my fingers from twitching while fixing a smile in place. 

 “No, waste of life is usually frowned upon,” I said, “and a recording of your work will be fine. After everything I’ve heard about you, I simply need to see what you’ve done for myself.” 

 Because the only other times I’d been here, it had been for a basic inspection, made at another House’s request. On arriving, I’d accessed the place’s network so I could pull the required data from its storecases before leaving. I’d never had the time to linger or investigate why I always felt uneasy here, and if what Pheniks had told me was true, I’d want to scream at my younger self for not acting on his suspicions. 

 Above the holodrama plate, a scene materialized: two reclining chairs with men sitting in them. The fact that they were secured to their seats by restraints raised my hackles, but I kept the reaction buried as I circled the holodrama plate so I could see what was dangling behind them.  

 That proved to be a mistake. My stomach lurched, nearly making me throw up, when I saw wires climbing up the back of each chair until they wormed through the hole that had been carved into each man’s skull. 

 “What-?” I said, unable to utter another word. 

 If I did, my screaming protest might tear down the façade of respect that I’d raised with this scientist. Hopefully, they’d interpret the horror in my voice as curiosity or something similar. 

 Another person stepped into the scene, a woman with bleached skin and eyes with silver bordering her irises. An ii. Raising a hand, she curled her fingers, and water coalesced over her palm, forcing me to repress a shudder. Considering she could pull moisture out of the air, that was one powerful Hydroshifter. Other than displaying her magic, though, she did nothing else while the Ostium among the men gasped, straining toward her. 

 “The bloodsong,” he said in his native tongue. “The great symphony! It’s been so long since I’ve heard it…” 

 Meanwhile, the child of Ibis watched the mage with a look of intense concentration on his face, but several minutes passed with nothing else happening. Clearly, whatever the Ostiu man was hearing, the other one didn’t. 

 “Next phase,” came a muted voice from outside of the scene. 

 One of the scientists, I thought. 

 At the prompt, the ii grimaced before relaxing her hand, letting the water hovering above it splash to the ground. She gestured at the Ostium, and I watched, dying inside, as droplets beaded on his arm before shooting to float in front of the mage. This process accelerated until he was screaming with his arm withering, and the child of Ibis, who’d been shouting for it to stop, got a funny look on his face. 

 “What is that noise?” he whispered. “It’s beautiful.” 

 And the scene abruptly ended. As the image faded, the present-day scientist lowered the hand they’d raised to stop it. 

 “From this, we learned that the bloodsong may be connected to the relationships that form between any animal,” they said. “For this experiment, we let the test subjects mingle with one another, and the displayed specimens had become friends during their time together. It’s a pity, really. Soon after that experiment was concluded, subject A expired, and subject B ended its life within forty-eight hours afterward. We could have learned so much more had they endured.” 

 With difficulty, I maintained my pleasant smile, even as I breathed more deeply with each inhale, extinguishing the blazing fire inside of me. I should kill this scientist. Really, I should. Any benefit that they gave Lutov couldn’t outweigh the suffering that they’d brought to who knew how many people, and those people deserved justice, just as much as the scientist’s soon-to-come victims deserved freedom from their clutches. 

 But if I killed this scientist or their partner, two people that Zan valued so much, it would most definitely start a House war, even if the leader of the ‘enemy’ House would be my brother. In the face of what I’d done, he wouldn’t have a choice. 

 But if I killed these scientists, we’d never find an antidote for the neurotoxin that was threatening to decimate Lutov. 

 So, instead of requesting my rifle to blow a wicked person’s brains out, I turned to them with a smile. 

 “How interesting,” I said, “and I didn’t know that you had iisen here! Where do you keep them?” 

 I needed a distraction if I was to have any hope of quelling this fury inside of me. 

 “In a hole below the ground,” the scientist said. “Don’t worry. They’re maintained as well as any tool like them should be.” 

 With my smile twitching, I said, “I have no doubt. Still. If you wouldn’t mind, I’d like to check on them. One never knows what a clever captive can get up to in their spare time.” 

 For their sake, I hoped that was the case here, and if I saw evidence of such a thing, I certainly wouldn’t report it to this scientist. 

 “Fair enough,” they said, “but then, we really must return to the tube. I don’t want to keep my shukusen waiting for long.” 

 As we once more moved down Kalaski’s halls, temptation nipped at me. My reasoning for sparing this scientist’s life was sound, but even still, I couldn’t help feeling as if I’d greatly regret it someday. Perhaps instead of killing them, I could get them removed from their position in the near future? I liked the idea, but it would take time. 

 Having just viewed the evil that it had hid, the mask of relaxing tranquility that this place wore had further cracked. It was so riddled that I was amazed it was still holding together. I was grateful when the scientist stopped beside a lift, drawing me out of my thoughts. 

 Gesturing toward it, they said, “The mages are down there. You’ll have to forgive me if I don’t go with you. I prefer not to visit the iisen as they’re… unhygienic, to say the least.” 

 After a pause, I stiffly said, “I see. In that case, I hope you can forgive me for how long I may take down there.” 

 The scientist shrugged. 

 “So long as shukusen Pheniks is fine with the delay, you can take as long as you want,” they said. 

 “How kind,” I said, barely biting back on sarcasm. “If you’ll excuse me?”

Chapter 58: Proof of My People's Evil 2
At the scientist’s nod, I stepped into the lift, quickly descending, but when I stopped, I was sure something had gone wrong with its mechanisms, despite the solid ground beneath my feet. It was pitch-black in here! No one should be in such a place. 

 But when my array adjusted my eyes to the lack of light, using echoes and heat signatures to map the room in front of me, that theory was quickly disproven. Hesitantly, I stepped into a cave, staring wide-eyed at the people crammed into this space. After some awkward shuffling, the crowd rearranged itself, and fire, summoned at the front of it, had me blinking watering eyes. 

 Once I could see again, I couldn’t think beyond a primitive, internal cry. From the awful scent that had hit me when I’d stepped out of the lift, I’d known I’d find something to haunt my nightmares here. Considering how often I’d run across scenes similar to this in the past, I was quite familiar with that warning sign. Even still, this… this was one of the worst I’d ever seen, and I was left scrambling to restart my brain from its stall. 

 So many mages had been stuffed into this cave, leaving only standing room for them. At the edge of the crowd, a few of them were holding their sleeping companions up against the walls, and they were filthy with the sharpest of cheekbones and the patchiest of hair. I didn’t know where their waste was going—into a hole, perhaps?—and their lips were cracked and bleeding, making me wonder how long it had been since they’d last had water. 

 How- how did they live like this? How the fuck did anyone live like this and maintain their hold on reality?  

 Something about that question… 

 For a split second, disorientation jolted through my brain and body, and slamming my eyes closed, I fought to shake it off, wondering why this situation was causing such a strong reaction in me. I’d seen plenty of things like this before so why…? 

 As I peeled my eyes back open, a mental image of a Lutovish boy flashed through my mind’s eye, partially registering in me, but then, I was confronted with horror again. These people… 

 This would not stand. I wouldn’t let it continue. Spinning, I took a step toward the lift before a frail voice stopped me. 

 “Wait!” 

 For a moment, I froze. I didn’t want to talk to these people, unfortunate souls who’d been trapped like this while on my watch. I forced myself to acknowledge them anyway. They deserved any morsel of attention that they desired. It was the least I coulddo. 

 “You’re the protector, yes?” said a disheveled ii toward the front. “The one who keeps the saviors safe.” 

 He’d placed such emphasis on the one word— avaarien or saviors—that I took a moment to wonder why he’d done it before answering. 

 “I don’t know about that,” I replied in his tongue. “I’m…” 

 What could I give him, though? Should I provide him with a persona’s name? That seemed wrong, for some reason. I didn’t know when my personas had become so separate from me that even their names felt like another human being’s, but at some point, that had become the case. So, for the first time in a while, I spoke the full truth of my existence to someone else. After all, none of these mages could share it with someone dangerous. 

 “My name is Zaeden, no House, of Lutov, although most only know me as the Lokke Vitras.” 

 Nodding, the spokesperson for the iisen said, “As I said. The protector.” 

 …What? 

 Before I could request clarification from him, the spokesperson continued as if oblivious to my confusion. 

 “You wish to shout at our captors, hoping to improve our living conditions, yes?” he said. “While it’s kind of you to want that, you cannot do as you desire. We singers are in our proper place, here until we’re told that we may die.” 

 I drew breath to interrupt, but before I could, a finger was shoved to my lips. At the unexpected contact, I barely stopped myself from drawing a weapon. 

 “I have words for you, words that you must hear, and then, you must leave this place, never to return until the end,” the spokesperson said. “Listen and leave, on pain of death by our magic.” 

 Was he threatening me? Why would he do that? More importantly, why was he talking to me like he knew me, and what the hell was going on? 

 Unsure what else to do, I nodded my acceptance of the spokesperson’s ultimatum, content to play along until I figured this out. Grinning, he snatched his finger to his chest, clutching it like a prized possession. 

 “The protector hears me! The first half of an impossible task complete!” he said before confusion took over his face. “What am I supposed to do next?” 

 Another mage craned their body over the woman between them to whisper in the spokesperson’s ear, and once that was done, he excitedly clapped. 

 “Oh, yes! Two warnings. One for the now and one for the future,” he said. “The first! Your daughter is wise beyond her years. Listen to them. The protector understands?” 

 No. Definitely not. Not yet, at least. For instance, how did he know that I had a daughter? I doubted particulars about my life had traveled this far from Lutov. The longer I kept this person talking, though, the more pieces of this puzzle I’d gather, pieces that I could put together later. 

 So, I said, “I’ve always known Baely is smart, so listening to them shouldn’t be hard. What else do you have for me?” 

 Eagerly nodding, the spokesperson stepped forward, crowding me toward the lift. 

 “That’s good. Good! Another task completed,” he said. “The second warning. He needs you more than you know. Do what you can to prepare him for your loss.” 

 The spokesperson looked to me for an acknowledgment, but I didn’t know if I could give one this time. At least with the first warning, I’d had an idea of who and what he’d been referring to but with this one… 

 Who was ‘he’? And what did the spokesperson mean by ‘my loss’? Was it meant to signify when I walked out of someone’s life? It definitely couldn’t be about my death, or at least, not a premeditated one like he was implying. I wasn’t choosing to join the Collective anytime soon. 

 After a moment, the spokesperson said, “The protector doesn’t understand, but that’s to be expected. All of the phansha pieces have yet to be put into play. But that’s all! Every task is completed and-!” 

 Blanching, he lifted his hands to stare at them. 

 “I have nothing left to do,” he whispered. 

 Curling his fingers, he left one of them extended, trembling as he pulled it toward his chest. Before it could land, though, a woman snatched his wrist. 

 “Not yet,” she said. “Wait until he’s left. He needs no more trauma inflicted on him.” 

 “I-!” 

 Licking his lips, the spokesperson lowered his hand. 

 “Yes. I’ll wait,” he said before meeting my eyes. “You have your warnings. Now, go. And remember, Zaeden, no House. We will resist any help that you try to give us.” 

 I was… so confused, but in the end, it didn’t matter. For the moment, I knew what I needed to. Kalaski was a cesspool of evil, down to its core, and if I survived Lutov’s current crisis, dismantling this place would go to the top of my long-term checklist. With it being another House’s institution, I had no illusions that I’d meet the goal anytime in the next century, but I could work toward it, alongside my equally impossible end games. 

 In the meantime, I wasn’t sure how I could help these mages, and their insistence that they didn’t need me to at least partially mitigated my guilt for that failure. In the time I’d spent with them, they’d demonstrated how unstable they were, and one couldn’t reason with people like that, not until they felt safe at least. 

 But seriously. Warnings for the future? That was impossible. Still, I knew they’d stick in my mind for a while. 

 I must have taken too long with leaving because the iisen’s spokesperson stepped forward again, coming close enough that I could feel his body heat, and he lifted a hand. 

 “Leave, before I stop your heart with my Somadept magic,” he said. 

 Swallowing hard, I nodded before backing toward the lift, and as it picked me up off of the ground, the spokesperson’s voice chased me. 

 “Oh! And when you see Sol, tell her that we, the faithful, have accomplished our part of her vision.” 

 Needless to say, I was shaken when I returned to where the scientist was waiting above. Thank Mother Time for my training, otherwise I might have shown them how unsteady my trip down the lift had made me. 

 “Get what you wanted?” they asked. 

 With a smile that I barely kept from shaking, I said, “Yes, thanks. Let’s return to the tube now.” 

 The scientist needed no further encouragement. We scurried through Kalaski, but I didn’t notice our passage, too busy with working through everything I’d seen instead. 

 I was still doing that when we rejoined my companions. While I’d been gone, Pheniks had arrived, and when we entered the room, he was talking with the other scientist. Seeing that, the one who’d given me a tour raced to them, and I stormed toward my loved ones, but I said not a word when I reached them. Taking Korix’s elbow, I tugged him to the side while the others stared. 

 “Did you know?” I harshly whispered. 

 Lifting an eyebrow, Korix said, “Know what? If it has something to do with these scientists, Zae, I’d remind you that someone else was running Kalaski until recently.” 

 That was right. The change in management had come after I’d become the Lokke Vitras . Even as guilt slammed into me—the terrible things that had happened here were my fault—I slumped. Korix hadn’t been keeping this from me. I hadn’t been sure what I’d do if he’d been hiding it, and I was glad that I didn’t have to find out what it was because it certainly wouldn’t have been pleasant. 

 Hesitantly, Korix touched my elbow, the one that was hidden from everyone else. Even now, he didn’t like displaying too much affection in front of complete strangers. 

 “Are you all right?” he asked. 

 With a miserable smile, I said, “No, but you can’t do anything about it right now. Let’s focus on returning to Lutov so we can stabilize things. Once that’s done, I’ll take some time to recover. Promise.” 

 Korix just watched me for a moment before engulfing me in a hug, effectively turning me into a statue. What was this? This was definitely a display of affection. What-? 

 “For whatever it is, I’m sorry,” he whispered in my ear, “but I’m here for you. I will always be here for you.” 

 Backing off, he walked back toward the others, leaving me frozen in place. Hell, how did he always know what to say? 

 I stayed here, reveling in this sensation, for the short time it took Pheniks to convince the scientists about leaving Kalaski, but then, we were in the tube again, heading away from a den of evil and toward home.

Chapter 59: Let's Get Started
I was impressed by the lab that Talira had confiscated for the scientists to work from. Deep in House Drav’s headquarters, it had all of the equipment that they might need and more, and the two we’d retrieved from Ibis must agree with my assessment, given how quickly they scattered to inspect it once we were inside. Having left my family in the park, I entered behind them, noticing Damari standing in a corner with a pretty, blonde woman, and on seeing me, my friend lifted a hand before nudging his companions toward me, 

 “LV! How good to see you in these trying times,” they cheerily said. 

 “So, my grandmother has shared the situation with you. Good. I’d hate to explain myself again,” I said. “Who’s your friend?” 

 “So serious!” Damari said before elbowing the woman as their side. “Don’t worry, Misah. He’s not always like this.” 

 Turning to the blonde, who was picking at a sleeve with her eyes fixed on the ground, I forced myself to relax from my focused state, smiling at her in a disarming way. 

 “You must be the sister Damari’s always yammering about,” I said. “From what I’ve heard, you’re quite the inquisitive scientist.” 

 Misah peered up at me from beneath her bangs, and I thought she’d be too shy to respond. Boy, did she prove me wrong. 

 “From what I hear, you’re quite the scientist yourself,” she said. “Or was it that you’re in insatiable prankster? I can never remember. Those passions are too similar.” 

 Sucking in a breath, I blinked at her for a moment, and after holding my gaze for the briefest of heartbeats, she darted her eyes back to the floor. The quiet ones usually had a bit of spunk hidden somewhere. How did I always forget that fact? 

 Dipping into a shallow bow, I said, “Well met, Misah. Your sibling’s praise hardly does you justice.” 

 “Hey!” Damari protested. 

 They didn’t get the chance to say anything more as my grandmother strode into the lab at that moment. After observing the room, lingering on where the scientists from Kalaski had already begun working, she nodded before heading toward me and the siblings. 

 “Good job getting those two here,” she said. “I see you’ve already met Misah.” 

 “I have,” I said. “She’s charming.” 

 Looking down her nose at me, Talira said, “Zae-zae, this is one person you cannot take to bed with you.” 

 As Misah’s head shot up and Damari tensed, I fought to keep from slapping my grandmother. Why would she say that? 

 Rather mildly, I said, “I can’t compliment a woman without wanting to fuck her?” 

 Hopefully, my crude way of putting that would make Talira recognize her misstep, but she only chuckled. 

 “Good. You’re feeling better. With the way you were before, you might have shut down instead of getting indignant, as you rightfully should,” she said before facing the others. “Forgive me, Misah. Damari. I had to check on the mental status of my Lokke Vitras.” 

 “You could have picked a better way to do it,” I grumbled. 

 Damari crossed their arms until Misah lifted a fist to clear her throat. 

 “I understand,” she said. “Despite the preconception otherwise, men can be quite emotional creatures at times.” 

 At that, I snapped my head toward her so fast that I worried it might give me whiplash while Damari shrugged at me. Talira burst into laughter. 

 “Oh, I’ll like you, won’t I?” she says. 

 I wasn’t sure if I would yet. Time would tell, as it did in all things.  

 As she recovered, Talira wiped her eyes. 

 “We should get to work,” she said. “Misah, if you could return to your samples? Damari, you can help her, but you, my Lokke Vitras . You come with me.” 

 Without another word, Talira marched out the door, and rolling my eyes, I heaved a heavy sigh. Smirking at me, Damari mouthed ‘Good luck’ before going after their sister, who was already halfway across the lab. This left everyone too busy to see me dragging my feet as I followed my grandmother. 

 Talira led me into a room where new parents would typically greet their child, and I struggled to repress happy memories of Baely’s handoff while sitting beside her on a couch. Thinking about that didn’t seem right at the moment. 

 “Yes?” I stiffly said. 

 Having delivered what I’d been dispatched to retrieve, I’d known a conversation with Talira was eminent, but even if I should be calm while having it, I couldn’t help how miffed I was with my grandmother. The comment she’d made in the lab had been the second time she’d called the morality of my sexual proclivities into question in as many weeks, and I wasn’t ok with that. 

 “Don’t give me the sullen routine,” Talira said. “So, I said something that you found upsetting. Get over it. We’re currently dealing with too big of a problem to soothe your hurt feelings.” 

 She was right. I knew it, but that didn’t magically change how I felt. Fortunately, I’d gotten very good at hiding my emotional state. After taking a deep breath, I turned toward Talira with my hands folded on my knees. 

 “Do you have orders for me, my shukusen?” I asked. 

 Lifting a finger, Talira said, “First, an explanation.” 

 She settled into one corner of the couch, steepling her fingers in front of her face. 

 “When you went after Sanya at the assembly, you left me quite the mess to fix,” she said. “We have no idea where she is, by the way. She slipped away while we were arguing. I don’t suppose you know where she’s gone, do you? We need her in custody before I can move forward with my plans for Cerullis. If you don’t have any ideas, I’ve already set the Second Strata on locating her, but any information that you could provide would still be useful.” 

 Touching on my memories of Sanya was painful, more so than I’d expected, but when thinking about our many conversations over the years, I came up with a suggestion. 

 “The Preserve. That’s a large swatch of ground to search, but she’s mentioned it several times in the past,” I said. “Something about a hideout? Somewhere safe that she could go when her life became too much.” 

 For some reason, this idea turned Talira sober, reminding me that she’d known Sanya for a while, much like Korix. Was the other shukusen’s betrayal distressing her as much as it was with me? 

 “I’d forgotten about that,” she said before shaking herself. “It’s a good place to look. Thank you. Now, about the shukusenth’s reaction to this debacle.” 

 Wincing, I shifted in place, preparing for the blistering sarcasm and bad news that Talira was sure to rain on me. 

 “I’ve handled it,” she said. “We’ll have no trouble from them.” 

 And I froze, fighting to switch tracks from my expectations. 

 Chuckling, Talira said, “You thought you’d have to handle a shitshow there too, didn’t you? Zae-zae, I’ve been a shukusen for a long time. Mother Time, it feels like forever sometimes. I know how to handle the cranky youngsters who hold the same title as me.” 

 The derision in her tone threatened to send me into peals of laughter, and I coughed into a fist to quell it. 

 “How did you do that?” I asked. “If you can share, of course.” 

 Flapping a hand, Talira said, “I won’t bore you with the details when your attention should be focused elsewhere. Suffice it to say that the other shukusenth believe that you recently sided with Sanya as part of a mission to root out corruption in her House. They think the situation’s under control and that the neurotoxin Sanya released was the only sample that she had available to her.” 

 When she stopped, glancing at where my mouth was hanging open, I slowly closed it. 

 “That last part seems unwise,” I said. “If our scientists can’t engineer an antidote soon, how will we explain it when people across Xygek start complaining about the neurotoxin’s effects?” 

 “I guess you’ll have to do something about that before it happens, won’t you?” Talira said, lifting an eyebrow. 

 She swiped at the air, and in the next instant, a message with an attachment popped into my array. 

 “That’s a list of places where a neurotoxin cannister could have been stored, compiled from the day-to-day activities of Cerullis members and their affiliates,” she continued. “Obviously, we can’t do anything about the cannisters that have already been opened. I have people set to handle that, but for any of them that are still armed, you and the rest of our merry group will neutralize them. I’ve sent your family after the first of them, minus Baely of course.” 

 Well, thank Mother Time for that. Bringing my daughter to the periphery of Kalaski had been one thing. Putting them next to such a dangerous material was another, although… 

 If Sanya had been telling the truth when we’d talked earlier, my daughter had already been infected. 

 “Did you ask her if that was what she wanted?” I asked. “Knowing Baely, she’ll be furious if she’s left sitting around, waiting for others to finish the hard work. Plus, she’ll want to avoid any delay to her House naming ceremony.” 

 Even unlikely as that was to happen. Given current circumstances, Baely might not go through that coming-of-age event for quite a while. Or the shukusenth might push for it to happen anyway, hoping to deflect the average citizen’s suspicion from our perilous situation. If that occurred, I might not be able to keep my promise to my daughter. I might not have time to attend their ceremony. I wasn’t sure which of those circumstances I most hoped for. 

 Giving me an odd look, Talira said, “I… can ask, I suppose.” 

 Nodding, I slapped my knees. 

 “In that case, I should get started,” I said. “This list is long . Even with help, clearing it will take me a while. I anticipate many a sleepless night ahead of me.” 

 “Don’t push yourself too hard. Most likely, the neurotoxin will work more quickly in a weakened body,” Talira said, “but you’ve probably already taken that into account. Good luck, my Lokke Vitras.” 

 After getting to my feet, I hesitated before making my goodbyes, tempted to share everything I’d experienced in Kalaski with Talira. Not only was she probably aware of what happened in that awful place, though, but if I raised a protest over it, she’d easily conclude that I meant to eventually dismantle the place. She knew me that well, and I wasn’t sure if making her aware of that goal was a good idea yet. Later, after I’d laid the groundwork, I might, but not now. 

 So, I merely inclined my head to her. 

 “Best wishes in keeping the shukusenth happy during this crisis,” I said. 

 Snorting, Talira waved me away, and I left the room, reviewing a report that had been hovering in my vision for days. Very little had changed in it, but I knew this wasn’t destined to last long. Even still, I kept it hovering, although I put it out of my mind as I did. 

 Preparing a series of artificial adrenaline bursts, I pulled up a list of possible neurotoxin storage places before heading for the closest one.

Chapter 60: An Update
For the one hundred and forty-sixth time, I stared down the display of a cannister, identical to every other one I’d seen for the last six days, and knew that the slightest mistake could see thousands of people dead within a couple of weeks. Even so, I pressed my finger to the display, ignoring how badly it was trembling. Ignoring how much my vision was blurring. Ignoring how sluggishly my thoughts were running through my head. 

 Damn, I needed another adrenaline burst, but too little time had passed since the last one, and if I induced another one now, I knew the consequences I’d suffer. The line between staying healthy and preserving my mental clarity was a delicate one to walk right now. 

 As I finished with the cannister, its display powered off, and I scrubbed my eyes. Six days had passed since Talira had given me the list, and I was nearly through it. I had a few more places to search, and then, if I was lucky, I could get an hour’s sleep before the next task dropped into my lap. 

 First, though, I had to touch base with the others. After sending a message, letting a clean-up crew know that I was finished here, I headed out. I was meeting with my support team at a nearby caf bar, and as I traveled there, I looked over my report on the neurotoxin’s steady destruction of my body. 

 To everyone’s relief, the poison’s targeting of the peripheral nervous system alone had proven true, leaving a patient’s brain and spinal cord largely untouched. Unfortunately, everything else about it, including its rate of progression, had been unpredictable at best. 

 To this point, I’d been lucky. I’d had some issues with muscle weakness and shortness of breath, but that was it. 

 Others hadn’t been so fortunate. In our group alone, we’d had several bouts of confusion and dizziness, including the fainting spells associated with them, as well as chronic pain throughout the body, and my father was currently in the clinic at the base of House Kolb’s headquarters, kept alive by a respirator. 

 After he'd collapsed, I’d visited him as soon as I could. I hadn’t stayed long, couldn’t with everything on my plate, but even still, I’d run into my mother while I’d been there. When she’d seen me, she’d fallen on me, weeping uncontrollably. It had been an uncomfortable experience, holding my mother up while my father lay half-dead beside us. I hadn’t been thinking about it. Couldn’t think about it, actually. 

 Just like so many other things in my life. 

 When I arrived at the caf bar, it had been cleared out, leaving only my support group behind, and fortunately, none of them were missing. We could begin immediately. 

 Before we did, though, and in the second before they noticed me, I examined them, this group of people that I loved with all my heart. They looked like shit with bloodshot eyes, ruffled hair, and a worn-down air hovering over them, not that I looked much better. In fact, every time I’d seen my reflection in recent days, my heart had stuttered for a moment, so disorienting was the image of a stranger staring back at me. 

 Then, Baely glanced up, smiling when they saw me hovering at the door. 

 “Per!” they called, waving me over. 

 At that, I grinned. Someone—I couldn’t remember who—had been teaching my daughter that she should only call me by my title when we were in public, and every time she ignored that advice, I was so very glad. 

 When I reached the table, I bonelessly dropped into a chair, with not the least bit of grace. I was with my family, and I was tired . I didn’t need to play the role of the perfect Lokke Vitras right now. 

 As soon as I’d relaxed, a drone dropped a caf with its accompanying meal in front of me, and when I frowned at it, wondering what the point of food was, Feena poked me. 

 “Eat,” she said. “We already have.” 

 “And you need to keep up your strength,” my mother said. 

 Wincing, I nodded before picking up a fork. 

 “Reports, please,” I said.  

 I had no idea how they’d understood me. Sleep had so muddled what I’d said that I didn’t recognize my own words, but Damari started giving me what I needed regardless. 

 “North-east quadrant’s clear, best we can tell,” they said, slurring their speech a little. “I’m headed to Misah once we’re done here. See if she needs anything.” 

 When I nodded understanding, Leski reported on her progress, but I was only half-listening, watching my friend instead. I knew that out of everyone, they were the only one who hadn’t been poisoned by the neurotoxin, but they were also unused to how hard we’d been pushing ourselves. From what they’d told me, they’d never used an artificial adrenaline burst before this fiasco had begun, so it didn’t surprise me to see their hands were trembling when they reached for their cup of caf. That they barely avoided missing their mouth when raising it, though, had me narrowing my eyes. Had their sleep deprivation gotten that bad? 

 Then, their hand spasmed, making them drop their cup. Hot liquid splashed over the table and their lap, and hissing, they leapt to their feet while snatching a napkin off of the table. We watched as they patted themselves dry, cursing all the while, and they only noticed our avid attention on them once the danger of gaining burns had passed. 

 “What?” they snapped, tossing their used napkin on the table. “Never seen a bit of clumsiness before?” 

 “Is that all it was?” my mother said. “Clumsiness?” 

 Jerking their head to her, Damari showed her their teeth. They’d never liked my parents. 

 “Yes!” they snarled. “What else would it be?” 

 No one spoke the obvious answer to that question—please say they hadn’t been infected—leaving us in an awkward silence until Korix shifted in place. 

 “Damari, we only want to make sure you’re ok,” he said. “Are you?” 

 For a few heartbeats, Damari hissed air between their teeth, obviously working on calming down, but then, they sat down again, rubbing their eyes. 

 “Yeah, I’m fine,” they said. “Very, very tired, but fine besides that.” 

 Was that the truth, though? I was half-tempted to demand their array’s report on their physical state from them, but that reaction seemed over the top for, as they’d put it, a bit of clumsiness. 

 “Well, if you and Leski have finished sweeping your sectors of the city, you’re free to get some sleep when you like,” I said. “Given that, do you still mean to visit your sister?” 

 Shifting in place, Damari wouldn’t meet my eyes, watching their twiddling thumbs instead. 

 “She needs me to bring her something, which yes. She’s made that request a lot lately,” they said, rolling their eyes, “but it shouldn’t take long, and then, I can get some sleep.” 

 Ah, yes. Misah and her penchant for pulling my friend away from their assigned task. I couldn’t complain since Damari had been keeping up with us over the last few days but still. I had yet to decide whether the young scientist had been more of a hindrance or a help to us. 

 Shrugging, I said, “All right. If you’re ok with that, I won’t protest.” 

 When I waved for Korix to continue with the reports, he crossed his arms. 

 “Baely and I have been finished with our sectors for hours, and you know it,” he said, “so don’t waste time on us.” 

 Years ago, Korix may have agreed to let me play the Lokke Vitras role as I liked without skepticism, but he still found ways to rebuke me at the oddest of times. Fortunately, I found these reprimands more amusing than anything else now. 

 When I turned to my mother, she grimaced. 

 “I’m nearly done, but there are two more sites in my sector,” she said. 

 Before I could reply in a scathing manner, Feena said, “And my report’s the same. I’ve got three left, not two, but I doubt finishing them will take us much time. What about you, Zae?” 

 I wasn’t nearly as close to completion as them, but then, I’d taken most of the locations on the list. Had I told them that when we’d begun this long task, though? It was hard to remember every detail of the last six days, which was strange for me. I should remember them in perfect clarity, like I usually did when on missions. 

 Then again, a lot of strange things had been happening to me lately, not just that. Panic attacks at the oddest of moments, followed by long stretches of time where those fear-laced spells were all but forgotten. Saying things that I’d never meant to speak out loud. All the oddities that I’d started noticing in the twenty-five years since my first dramatic break. 

 Not that I could do anything about that now. I didn’t have the time or energy or safety needed to address it, so for perhaps the thousandth time, I shoved it all deep-down again. 

 Shaking my head, I considered how to answer Feena’s question without embarrassing myself, but before I could decide how to do that, a direct connection established in my array. 

 “Zae-zae, emergency assembly in fifteen minutes,” Talira said. “Get to House Drav’s headquarters.” 

 And that was it. Well, ok then. As the days had progressed my grandmother had been getting increasingly short with me, but that had been a bit extreme. 

 Stretching, I got out of my chair while taking a last sip of caf. 

 “Sorry, everyone. Something’s come up,” I said. 

 I was a little nervous to find out what that something was. At this point, only truly good or truly awful news could spawn an emergency assembly. 

 “If you’re finished with your sector, remain on standby for further instructions,” I said. “Otherwise, keep up the good work.” 

 When I made to leave the caf bar, someone snatched my wrist, although that hold was quickly released. 

 “Uh-uh,” Damari said, wagging a finger at me. “I heard what your family’s been doing over the last week. I’m joining them. Wherever you’re going, we’ll come with you, and once you’re occupied with your job, I’ll visit Misah. Then, bed.” 

 Rolling my eyes, I sighed. 

 “Fine. I was headed to your sister’s location anyway,” I said. “So long as you remember that I don’t need a babysitter. That goes for all of you.” 

 I swept a finger over the group, including my partners and daughter, who were already standing, but they just grinned at me while Feena flapped a hand. 

 “Whatever you say, Zae,” she said. “Get going already.”

Chapter 61: Minimal Progress
Leaving Feena and my mother behind, the rest of us traveled to House Drav’s headquarters in silence, although we mumbled apologies to one another when one of us weaved into another person’s path. This was most notable when I had to catch Damari after they tripped over their own feet. If they realized how much I'd tensed on feeling their body trembling, they didn’t say a word, but I spent the rest of the trip watching them stumble along, biting my lip. Damn, but they were tired. 

 After reaching the appointed tower, we split up. Leski, Korix, and Baely wandered off for a stroll around the park, Damari hurried toward the scientists’ lab, and I followed a receptionist’s directions to a room near the top of the tower, straightening up my appearance as I went. 

 When I arrived, almost all of the shukusenth and First Strata had gathered together. I’d never seen such nervous energy in them before. They were jumpy, letting their eyes rove over the room, and seeing this, I was reminded of House Kolb operatives who’d come home after their first taste of combat. 

 Finding Talira among them, I meandered her way, making greetings when I must. This happened more frequently than I’d expected. 

 After the mistake I’d made, I was amazed that these people could stand to be in the same room as me, let alone say hello, but then, so far as they knew, I’d never made a mistake, and everything was under control. It was just another gram of pressure on the already unbearable load I was carrying. 

 When I reached Talira’s side, I touched her elbow. 

 “My shukusen, I am present, as ordered,” I said. 

 Turning to me, Talira threw her arms wide, smiling. 

 “Ah, my Lokke Vitras! There you are,” she said. “Now that you’re here, we can begin.” 

 Somehow, I kept from frowning. What did she mean, we could begin? We were missing a shukusen … one besides Sanya, at least. Hell, her absence would be weird. 

 No one else seemed to find Talira’s proclamation strange, though. They hurried to their places while I moved as slow as a glacier in comparison. I was missing something. What was it? 

 “I have good and bad news. We’ll start with the bad,” Talira said as she took a seat. “As most of you know, shukusen Orin took a turn for the worse this morning. Fortunately, his First Stratus got him into stasis quickly enough to save his life. Nicely done.” 

 She nodded to the man who was standing behind Orin’s empty chair, and he inclined his head, accepting the compliment. Shifting her attention to the middle of the table, Talira swept at the air, conjuring an image of Orin in an amber capsule. Reports on his condition floated around it, and I winced as I read them. He should be dead right now. Damn. I’d just started liking him. 

 When people around the room started murmuring at one another, Talira raised a calming hand. 

 “Not to worry, my friends. Orin and by proxy, we will be fine,” she said. “The experts investigating the neurotoxin in our bloodstreams say that once we clean this poison from our bodies, our arrays will be able to heal any damage that it’s done while within us. That brings me to my good news, though. We’re close to having a working antidote, but a final piece is required. To explain this, I’ll have one of my experts join us.” 

 Again, she gestured, and the room’s doors opened to reveal Misah. With a frown, I watched her shuffle closer with her eyes fixed on the floor. 

 …Interesting choice by Talira. The other two scientists might be reprehensible people, but at least they had a modicum of self-confidence, something Misah seemed to lack. Perhaps the other two had thought that explaining their findings to the shukusenth was unworthy of their time. 

 Also, Damari wouldn’t be happy, having to wait for their sister to finish up here. 

 Stopping between Talira and Pheniks’ chair, Misah cleared her throat before lifting her hand to waist level. Clearing her throat again, she kept her eyes pinned on the floor as an image of a chemical formula and its molecular structure was projected above her palm, and hastily, Talira swiped the image of Orin away so everyone could see this new image. 

 “Here is what we’ve been studying for the last six days,” Misah said with her voice trembling. “Using a small sample of willing and infected test subjects, we’ve been working on several antidotes, hoping that one of them might break what you see into smaller, more harmless pieces that the body can evacuate on its own. Unfortunately, we’ve run into a problem here.” 

 She poked at the model, making it enlarge until only a portion of it was visible. On this portion, a fine, green mesh coated the neurotoxin’s molecules, but unlike with most organic particles, this mesh shimmered, if only to a degree. 

 “We’re not sure what this is, only that when an antidote comes near the neurotoxin, this sleeve repairs anything that’s been damaged, like what our arrays do for us.” 

 With a faint smile, Misah cupped her hand before brushing her fingertips along the model’s underside, rotating it. 

 “It’s fascinating, really,” she said. “I’ve never seen anything reverse damage so quickly before, not even RRDs. Nothing we’ve introduced to an infected person’s system can keep up with its rate of healing.” 

 When she fell silent, I glanced over the s hukusenth, cursing in my head. This explanation wasn’t making them relax. In fact, some of them looked like they were on the brink of a panic attack. Before that could happen, Talira rested a hand on the scientist’s shoulder. 

 “Misah, dear, tell them what you shared with me an hour ago, please,” she said. 

 Taking a sip of air, Misah shook herself. 

 “Right. My apologies. It’s just that one of my test subjects is approaching a terminal state, and I don’t know if I can deal with that…” 

 Trailing off, she bit her lip for a moment before shaking her head. 

 Poking at the green mesh, she said. “So, as you’ve probably surmised, this sleeve is all that’s keeping us from a working antidote. If we’re to defeat it, my fellow scientists and I need to study it, separated from the rest of the neurotoxin, but to date, we haven’t been able to pull the two apart. Fortunately, this morning, we identified a way to secure a sample of this molecular sleeve with nothing else attached to it.  

 "You see, in our tests, we’ve been getting strange radiation readings from the neurotoxin, ones that we couldn’t make sense of. We hadn’t seen readings like that in any habitable portion of Lutov. 

 “I’ve been trying to trace how the neurotoxin was formed, and as part of that, I was studying Cerullis’ requisition orders from over the last few decades. While I was reviewing those orders this morning, I figured out what those strange radiation readings are. 

 “For about twenty years, Cerullis has been consolidating their acquisitions from the Tainted Lands in their headquarters. Given that, we might be getting strange readings from the neurotoxin because a part of it originated in that irradiated place, the land where our last war concluded. If true and given how advanced the neurotoxin’s sleeve is when compared to anything else Lutov has seen, said sleeve might be alien in nature. Conclusion? The molecules making up this sleeve once belonged to those from beyond the stars.” 

 Thoroughly pleased with herself, Misah lifted her gaze to beam at us, but we only greeted her with gaping mouths and bugged eyes. Well, all of us but Talira and me. In this dense silence, Misah clenched her hand into a fist, making the model disappear, and coughed, folding her arms behind her. 

 “If it helps, we don’t think finding a molecular sample will be difficult,” she said. “My fellow scientists have mentioned seeing similar molecules in every alien artifact they’ve studied in the past. Because of its prevalence, they believe that what we’re looking for may be a basic building block for the aliens’ organic matter, like carbon is for us. Except that it would be more complex, of course. Because carbon’s an element and what we need is… a… molecule.” 

 Misah bit her tongue—I could see her doing it—to stop talking. I couldn’t blame her for wanting to fill the silence, though. It was tense enough. 

 “So… what you’re saying is that you need us to find you an alien corpse,” Pheniks blankly said. 

 Nodding, Misah said, “It would be a good start, yes.” 

 Start? 

 Across the table, Raelle guffawed, slapping a hand to her mouth, while Pheniks slowly rotated until he was facing Misah. 

 “My dear, in the millennia that Zan’s been venturing into the Tainted Lands, we’ve never encountered a body belonging to those from beyond the stars,” he said, “and on the slim chance that they left anything like that on our planet, it’s sure to have decomposed by now.” 

 Scowling, Misah crossed her arms. 

 “How did Cerullis and your own House get their hands on the molecule, then?” she said. “It can’t have come from nowhere, and as I’ve outlined, its origin point seems obvious. Neither Cerullis nor Zan could have manufactured it on their own.” 

 Reddening, Pheniks opened his mouth to answer, but Talira stepped in before he could speak. 

 “We can’t afford to argue over how impossible this request might seem,” she said. “Right now, we have one shukusen who’s trying to kill us, one who’s in stasis, and four who are infected with something horrible. We’ll take any path that might lead to an antidote, even if my experts will continue looking for an alternative while we do. Yes?” 

 Pheniks relaxed while Misah nodded. 

 “My test subjects need that antidote just as much as you do, so of course we’ll keep looking,” she said. 

 Smiling, Talira said, “Excellent. Misah, my dear, you should get back to work. Your test subjects aren’t going to test themselves, yes? The rest of us will discuss how to get what you need.” 

 Bowing, Misah said, “Yes, shukusen.” 

 We waited until she’d left before breaking into pandemonium. 

 “How the fuck do you propose that we find an alien corpse, Talira?” Marza snapped. “Do you expect the members of our Houses to scour the Tainted Lands for you?” 

 “And if we agreed to do something so insane, how would we guarantee their survival?” Pheniks added. “Even this many centuries later, radiation levels in the Tainted Lands are still ridiculously high, hence the demarcation line. No one can be there, unprotected, for more than a day before RRDs can do nothing to save their life.” 

 As the other shukusenth nodded or murmured agreement, I mentally rolled my eyes. Even as tired as I was, the answer to their questions seemed obvious to me. 

 “We’ll break the search down. Start at the sites of our closet battles with those from beyond the stars. If the aliens left any bodies behind, it’s likely to be at a site like that,” I said. “One such battle was held near the ruins of Nasmi, although that one was small. We won’t find much there, but even still, it would be a good place to start.” 

 Every eye in the room, including Talira’s, turned toward me, staring for an interminably long time before I sighed and cocked my head. 

 “Have I said something unusual?” I said. “After the Ancients Crisis, I did some research into our war with those from beyond the stars. At the time, my lack of knowledge about the conflict was a problem, so I figured it might cause trouble again.” 

 Shaking her head, Talira twisted to face the others. 

 “I’ve done the same, and I suspect that a few of you have also done it, no matter the stigma attached to the subject,” she said. “So, out with it! Let’s hear suggestions for places to search.” 

 For a moment, no one said anything, but then, Raelle lifted two fingers off of the table. 

 “We could try Stralberg in old Roswines,” she hesitantly said. “It’s far away, but those from beyond the stars besieged that city for months.” 

 “Since it’s on the other side of the continent, that one may go toward the bottom of the list, but it’s an excellent suggestion nonetheless. Thank you, Raelle,” Talira said. “Anyone else?” 

 From there, people were more than happy to share their ideas, even the First Strata behind their shukusenth, and before long, we had a list to rival the one I’d just finished off. Apparently, in a war for survival, people fought a lot. 

 “This is too much,” Marza said, scanning the list that Talira had made. “We did this to narrow down the field of places we must search, and it’s only gotten wider!” 

 I’d argue that. Sure, with so many towns’ names floating in front of us, it might seem that way, but this was still a much narrower search radius than the entirety of the Tainted Lands. Even still, we’d never get through this list before the neurotoxin debilitated us, even if every able-bodied House member helped with tackling it, and I doubted the shukusenth wanted to give that order, as it would reveal our weakened state to the Lutovish populace. Unfortunately, I didn’t know how to further narrow the field. 

 “Fuck,” Raelle breathed. “We’re going to die.” 

 I didn’t think she’d meant for us to hear that, but we did, and it drew our attention to her like mosquitos to blood. She didn’t seem to notice, too focused on her clenched hands. 

 Here was where I should step in with an encouraging word for them. I was supposed to give every Lutovish, even these people, surety in all things, but for some reason, I couldn’t help but be petty this time. I watched these people grapple with the idea of death, something that I did on a near daily basis, and wanted to laugh at how panicked it turned most of them, even as I prepared to be the support they needed. 

 Pheniks got there first. Shaking himself, he turned to Talira with a grave expression in place. 

 “We could always ask them where to look,” he said. “I know contacting them usually isn’t wise, but with what’s at stake-” 

 Talira sharply shook her head. 

 “No. Trust me, Pheniks. Nothing good ever comes of asking them for a favor,” she said. “We’ll find another way.” 

 To my great surprise, the other shukusenth seemed to have followed that exchange. Some of them were speculatively watching Talira and Pheniks while the others had closed off. Thankfully, the other First Stratus looked just as lost as me, so maybe we’d stumbled onto a shukusen secret. If it was that, though, I should still know about it, even if I’d had to ferret it out for myself. Still, there was no time like the present to do that, even if asking about it now would reveal the fact that I’d been ignorant of this secret. 

 “Forgive me, my shukusen, but who is ‘them’?” I said. “And if they might know where we should look, why aren’t we asking them about it?” 

 Now, I was the lodestone of the room’s gazes while Talira rested her elbows on the table, burying her face in her hands. 

 After a moment, Marza said, “Really, Talira? You haven’t told him yet?” 

 As Talira tensed, I laid my hands on the back of her chair. 

 “The fault for my ignorance lies not with my shukusen but with me. I should have learned about this on my own, long before now,” I said. “Let’s correct that oversight now, shall we?” 

 After glancing at their First Stratus, the various shukusenth pursed their lips or sighed before Marza folded her hands on the table. 

 “There’s a… prison, we’ll call it, at the south-western tip of the Eastern Reaches,” she said. “A group of people, unaffiliated with Lutov or Ibis, have made it their home.” 

 And for the second time in three decades, a set of words from the past ran through my head. 

 Our friends in the Eastern Reaches told me. 

 You’ve made a trip to the southernmost tip of the Eastern Reaches. 

 And a more recent addition. 

 I never said that the facility was run by Kolb. 

 Who, then? 

 A group unassociated with Lutov’s Houses. 

 “The Chosen,” I said. 

 Had those words sounded faint to anyone else? 

 Frowning, Marza cocked her head. 

 “You’ve heard of them?” she said. 

 While I slowly nodded, Talira heaved a sigh. 

 “I’ve been fighting to keep this from happening for years,” she said, as if to herself. 

 But then, she lifted her face out of her hands, shaking them, before twisting in her chair toward me. 

 “Marza’s talking about the Chosen’s base of operation,” she said, “and in answer to your other question, horrible things inevitably happen to anyone who makes a request of them. So, if we decided to send someone to speak with them…” 

 …it would be someone semi-disposable. It would be me, ever Lutov’s sacrifice. 

 Well, fuck me. I didn’t know what to think about what Talira had suggested, but my beliefs about it didn’t matter right now, did they? Pinching my nose, I lifted a hand to beckon at Talira. 

 “Give me the coordinates.”

Chapter 62: Getting There
After the assembly had concluded, I wandered to the lobby of House Drav’s headquarters in a haze. I wasn’t worried about my new, supposedly ‘horrible’ fate, half convinced that past incidents of this phenomenon were coincidences, and I was used to getting served up on a platter like this. People perpetually threw me into situation that were sure to kill me. That wasn’t why I was dazed. I was just exhausted, and my overworked brain was having a hard time with processing the twists and turns that the previous conversation had taken. 

 I had enough clarity of mind to send a message to my sister. Much as I might like to ignore this fact, she was Chosen. Questioning her about their base of operations would be wise, and while I was there, I’d like to have her at my side. 

 When I reached the lobby, I was so wrapped in my thoughts that I almost ran into Damari. 

 “Whoa! Careful there, LV,” they said, steadying me. “You ok? You look like someone gave ya bad news.” 

 Rather than answering them, I ran my eyes over my friend. They looked better and yet, somehow worse. While energy had been infused in their body, they were visibly trembling now, which made me wonder. Had they induced another artificial adrenaline burst? I’d thought they were heading home to sleep after meeting their sister. Or had Misah perhaps given them something to help with their own exhaustion? 

 With their smile slipping, Damari said, “LV?” 

 I smiled to reassure them that I was all right, although that didn’t seem to work. As I moved to pat their arm, a crease formed between their eyebrows, and just in time, I remembered how much they disliked being touched, stopping halfway through the gesture. 

 “Let’s find my family, shall we?” I said. “I’ll explain what’s happened once we’re together.” 

 “Sure…” Damari drawled. 

 They continued to watch me as we left House Drav’s headquarters, making a quick circuit of the park outside. With the help of this place’s recorders, pinpointing my family’s location didn’t take long. They were sitting on a bench, eating ice cream, and as we approached, Baely threw back her head and laughed . 

 With my breath catching, I stopped short, and even with my vision misting, I couldn’t take my eyes off of my daughter. In their new attire, they were beautiful with laughter lighting them up so poignantly that I felt like I was in a chokehold. I saw Leski in the way they wrinkled their nose, but as usual, I ignored the obvious signs of their biological father’s identity, focusing instead on how happy they looked. After everything I’d done in my life, how had I been lucky enough to get a daughter like them? When would I eventually destroy them? 

 Slowly breathing out, I pinched my wrist, never removing my gaze from my family. 

 “You can’t think like that,” I said to myself. 

 “Like what?” 

 Reluctantly, I shifted my eyes to Damari. 

 “Like a fatalistic idiot who thinks everything’s his fault,” I said. 

 Cocking their head, Damari said, “But that’s who you are, LV. Sometimes.” 

 They stuck their tongue out at me, making me chuckle. 

 “True,” I said, “but I’m trying to be someone else. That man’s no fun to be around.” 

 Damari gave me an odd look. 

 “All parts of you are fun to be around, even the pessimist who drowns himself in misery,” they said, “but he’s less fun than others, yes. So, let’s get ya to your family before he makes an appearance.” 

 As they took off, I softly smiled, hugging myself so I didn’t do the same thing to them. 

 “You really are a fantastic friend, Damari,” I said. 

 Snorting, they called over their shoulder, “Well, yeah. Duh.” 

 With them already halfway to my family, I didn’t get time for more than a single laugh before I had to catch up. As we approached, Korix, who’d been idly watching us, lifted a hand off the back of the bench, which alerted the others to our presence. While Baely grinned at us, Leski leapt to her feet so she could fling herself at me. I struggled to maintain my balance as she nuzzled into my chest, and Damari rolled their eyes. 

 “We were only gone for an hour, tops!” they said. “From this reception, you’d think it was a week.” 

 Without pulling her face away from my chest, Leski punched at their arm, which they barely dodged, stumbling as they did so. 

 …Why did they look so unsteady? 

 “So?” they said. “Where’s that explanation you promised?” 

 When Damari perched on the bench’s arm, Korix scooched over to give them room, but they didn’t take advantage of it, crossing a leg instead. Curling their fingers, they laid their chin on the heel of their palm, intently staring at me, and I suppressed a laugh at how serious they’d turned. 

 After looking everyone over, I said, “I have new orders, all from the recent assembly.” 

 I proceeded to tell them everything, including where I was going and who I was meeting with, and as I talked, every face, save for Baely’s, slid into the detachment that was typical for mission mode. My daughter, on the other hand, went white, slumping more thoroughly into their seat with each word, and I wished that I could make this easier for them, truly. If something went wrong over the next couple of days, though, it would be better if they heard this news from my lips than from their parents or a stranger. 

 “So, that’s it. We need a sample of this molecule, and the Chosen might know where to find it. That’s where I’m headed,” was what I finished with. “Any questions?” 

 For a while, no one said a word, letting the park’s natural noise fill the silence, until Baely leaned forward to take my hand. 

 Licking her lips, she said, “There’s no one else who can do this? Someone who’s reached a terminal point in their poisoning maybe? Or… I don’t know. A criminal who’s in stasis?” 

 With a sigh, I crouched in front of her. 

 “Honey. Even if there was someone else, I wouldn’t want them to go. You know that,” I said, “but you don’t need to worry. This isn’t the most dangerous thing I’ve faced in my life. I’ll be fine. All right?” 

 Hesitantly, Baely nodded, but I still saw doubt in her eyes, which I hated. She was only twenty-five! She shouldn’t be worrying if her dad would come home from a mission yet.  

 Hell. I’d done a shit job of shielding her from the truth of my life. 

 Hugging our daughter, Leski said, “I’d guess that you want us to stay here.” 

 And her voice had been so empty. Mother Time, I despised seeing mission mode on her, on any of them! But that was where I needed them to be right now. 

 “How would you help me with this? It’s a single meeting,” I said. “I’d rather if you stayed here, ready to help me with the search once I have the information we need.” 

 “I can accept that,” Leski said. 

 Pulling our daughter to her, she rubbed Baely’s arms, and I did my best to ignore the tears that were sliding over their cheeks. 

 “Even if you leave them here, you should bring me,” Korix said. “I’ve met the Chosen before. I could ease you through the introduction, move the conversation along…” 

 He trailed off as I shook my head. 

 “Think, Ko. If I brought any of you along, you’d have to wait outside while I made my request of these people,” I said. “Speaking to them requires a certain security clearance level, one you don’t have anymore.” 

 Looking away, Korix swallowed before nodding, and I shuffled forward to lay my arms across my family’s legs. 

 “Listen to me,” I said. “I’ll be fine. After the last week, where we’ve been infected with a neurotoxin and deprived of sleep for far too long, I know that this supposed curse may seem daunting, but think about it rationally. When compared to everything else we’ve faced, this danger is nothing.” 

 And I grinned. 

 “So, stop looking at me like I’m a dead man! I need to leave so I can quickly return.” 

 Slowly, they relaxed, leaning toward me, and I gathered them close. 

 “I love you more than I can say,” I whispered into the safety of our embrace. 

 Then, I released them, popping to my full height. Kissing my palm, I laid it on each of their heads. Leski rolled her eyes as I touched hers. 

 “See you soon.” 

 As if ripping off a bandage, I turned, heading for House Kolb’s headquarters. I didn’t notice that Damari was keeping pace with me until a few steps into the walk. 

 “Upset that you didn’t get a teary farewell from me?” I said. “Don’t worry. I’ll make sure to greet you when I get back.” 

 They didn’t laugh, though, keeping their jaw set as they stared straight ahead. 

 “Damari…” I drawled, “is something wrong?” 

 “You need a pilot,” they said. 

 Slowing down, I cocked my head at them. 

 “Yes, and I can find one in headquarters,” I said. “You should go home and get some sleep.” 

 They stopped short, nearly making me trip over myself, before meeting my eyes with the fiercest and most determined look I’d ever seen on them in place. 

 “You need a good pilot,” they said. 

 “Yes…” I said. “Just like you need rest-” 

 “Zaeden.” 

 My name, spoken by someone who rarely said it, snapped my mouth shut. 

 “You’re taking me with you,” they said, daring me to deny them. “I can be useful to you, and I don’t give a shit if I have to wait outside while you’re conducting your business. Take me with you.” 

 Oh, wow… Damari had never been this assertive with me. Bossy? Sure. Secure with their in-your-face attitude? Always. But telling me exactly what they wanted with no question of whether I’d refuse them? Never. 

 Licking my lips, I said, “You’ll have to sleep during the flight.” 

 “Obviously,” Damari said with an eye roll. 

 “Then… ok,” I said. “Thank you.” 

 With a snort, Damari brushed past me while beckoning for me to follow. 

 “Yeah, whatever, LV. Let’s go.” 

 Feena met us outside the entrance to headquarters. 

 “What’s with the summons, little brother?” she said. “I was busy.” 

 “And I’m sorry about tearing you away from your task,” I said, “but this is where I’m going next. Figured you’d want to come.” 

 I waved my location’s coordinates her way, and when she saw them, Feena’s eyes popped wide before she shot them my way. 

 “You’ve been summoned?” she asked with all of the world’s horror in her voice. 

 Summoned? What was that supposed to mean? 

 Frowning at her, I said, “No. I need to ask your friends a question, and since they don’t accept messages or direct connections…” 

 I trailed off as Feena scowled. 

 “The Chosen are not my friends, just… associates, if you have to use a label,” she said, “and what sort of question are you asking them? You’re not requesting a favor from them, are you?” 

 Waving off Feena’s suspicions, I stepped around her to head inside. 

 “Spare me. I’ve already heard about what happens to people who speak with the Chosen,” I said. “I don’t give it much credence. Look at how often I’ve asked you for a favor without a problem!” 

 “She’s Chosen?” Damari sputtered behind me. 

 When I glanced back at them with a raised eyebrow, they tightly closed their mouth, although they kept their eyes fixed on my sister. 

 “I’m not like them, though,” she said. “Right now, I’m relatively unimportant. My time to shine—if that’s what you want to call it—won’t come until much later. Talking to people who are more relevant to the present moment can have severe consequences, and Mother Time help you if you have to speak with her.” 

 I transferred the incredulous look that I’d had for Damari to Feena. 

 “Her?” 

 Flapping a hand, Feena said, “It’s not important. She probably won’t be at base, rarely is, but the point remains. This is a bad idea. Unless you have a compelling reason for it?” 

 Stopping at a lift, I input a floor destination, never taking my eyes off of my sister. 

 “I have a compelling reason,” I said. “Are you coming or not?” 

 Heaving a sigh, Feena hung her head. 

 “I’ll come with you, of course,” she said. “Don’t know how much help I’ll be, though. I can’t discuss anything about the Chosen unless I’ve gotten approval for it first.” 

 That was unfortunate. Oh, well. 

 “Then, you can make introductions for me,” I said. “Come on, Feena. You’re an intelligent woman. I’m sure you’ll figure out a way to help.” 

 When I stuck my tongue out at her, Feena swatted at me, and laughing, I avoided the blow, stepping into the lift.  

 Once we were in a strike ship, Damari didn’t let me settle into a seat in the back. 

 “Would you sit with me for this flight? Please?” they asked. “I could use the company.” 

 Which was how I found myself sitting up front while Lake Sonis rushed beneath us. A few minutes ago, Damari had curled up in their chair before falling into a deep sleep, complete with drool and snoring, and for a while, I’d watched them, marveling at the strange picture of peace and trouble that they were presenting. I wasn’t sure what sort of bad dream had their face scrunched up like they were in pain, but I wished I could make it better for them, even if waking them up seemed like a bad idea. 

 I should probably join them in sleep. For the last day or so, my eyes had been swimming in acid, and everything about me was so sluggish, but any time I’d tried to relax or drift away since boarding, something had yanked me back to the waking world. I suspected it might have to do with the complex bundle that I’d delayed with tackling since Sanya had started this disaster. It certainly felt like my many sleepless nights in the months after I’d broken Pheniks’ trust. 

 Hell, how had I let my emotional state get so out of control again? This was nothing like the barely managed chaos that I’d enjoyed for most of my life, instead steadily getting worse with every passing day and new challenge that I must face. It was almost, almost overwhelming. 

 In the end, I had to start a dream sequence. While not as restful as natural sleep, using one of them would be better for me than staying awake for the flight. 

 Damari woke me up as we were making a final approach to the Chosen’s base. Below us, the sicky grass and barren rock of the Eastern Reaches had given way to the foothills of the Barasgami Mountains, and nestled between those rounded peaks was a facility similar to many others across Lutov, save for a single detail. 

 “Is that a galnuka around the building?” Damari asked. 

 It was, although this one was much shorter than most were. Instead of reaching into the heavens—as it should—it rose only a few meters above the building’s roof, but despite that, a blue mesh of lasers and fluorescent particles separated the Chosen’s base from the world. 

 “I hope you can contact these people, LV, because there’s no way in hell I’m getting through that,” Damari said, “and they’ve placed it so close to the walls that I can’t go over it to make a landing. I may be a decent pilot but…” 

 They shrugged while I narrowed my eyes at our view. Why would the Chosen need a defense like this, considering how secretive they were about their very existence? 

 A knock on the door that separated us from the back had me granting clearance to Feena, letting her join us. I probably should have let Damari do that. Deciding who was in the front of a strike ship was a pilot’s prerogative, and I’d just ignored that custom. 

 My friend was acting extremely sluggish, though, as if not fully awake yet. Drooped in their seat, they swiped at the air with hands that looked like they weighed far too much, but when they noticed my concerned look, they shook their head with a sloppy grin. 

 “Keep going,” Feena told them. “They know we’re coming, so the galnuka should drop right about… now.” 

 As she’d said, the laser wall flickered out of existence while a hangar door opened in the wall behind it, and Damari brought us in to land with their face drawn into grim lines. Not that I could blame them for their unease. We were entering potentially hostile territory. 

 “Stay in the strike ship,” I said. “Be ready to go at a moment’s notice.” 

 “You’ve got it, LV,” Damari said. 

 Twisting to my feet, I patted the back of Damari’s chair and followed Feena into the hangar. 

Chapter 63: How to Cage an All-Powerful Mage
From an initial scan of the hangar, I’d say the Chosen kept a neat base of operations. Everything here was in its proper place with each surface scrubbed clean, which was unusual for a place like that. Typically, shuttles and strike ships came through a hangar far too quickly for it to be this spotless, but from what I understood, the Chosen didn’t get many visitors. 

 Stopping beside me, Feena hugged herself, biting a lip as she ran her eyes over the hangar, and I raised an eyebrow at her, intent on keeping my mouth shut as much as possible while in this place. My sister could speak for me. 

 Still, with no one here to greet us, should we wait, or could we make ourselves at home? Before I could voice this question, a door on the other side of the hangar slid open, and a harried-looking woman, a- a child of Ibis flew through it. 

 The Chosen didn’t discriminate between children of Ibis and Lutovish? If this was true, I couldn’t help but smile about it. I didn’t care what other people said about the Chosen or how much fear was shown to them. Already, I liked these people. 

 When she reached us, the woman bent to clutch her knees, taking gulps of air, and while she recovered, Feena and I watched her with amusement. After a moment, she straightened. 

 “Apologies for the wait,” she gasped, “but you—” 

 She shoved a finger at me. 

 “—are early.” 

 Odd way to greet someone. 

 Brushing her hand out of my face, I said, “I didn’t mean to cause you distress. Hopefully, you can forgive me for it.” 

 Wrinkling her nose, the unknown woman glanced at Feena. 

 “Awfully polite, isn’t he?” she said. 

 For her part, Feena relaxed her hold on her chest. 

 “Yes, Dee, he is,” she said. “I’m guessing from our reception that our arrival was expected, then?” 

 “Mmhmm! For a long time now,” Dee said, eagerly nodding. “Didn’t you get the update?” 

 “I’ve been a bit busy,” Feena said. 

 “Oh, right! Prepping this one for a dark day,” Dee said. “How’d that go?” 

 Dark day? Before I could ask about that, both women turned toward me while the child of Ibis ran her eyes over my body. 

 “Not so well,” Feena said. 

 With a brittle smile, I said, “If you’re quite done talking about me like I’m not here, I’d like to discuss why I’ve come to this place.” 

 At that, Dee lit up like the sun. 

 “Of course! You need access to a body, yes? Specifically, one belonging to our recent alien invaders,” she said. “I’ll take you to our expert on them.” 

 Recent alien invaders? The war with those from beyond the stars had taken place over a millennia ago! Also, how had this woman known what I needed? 

 As she spun to lead the way, I caught Feena’s eye. 

 ‘You told her?’ I mouthed. 

 With a worried pinch to her eyes, my sister shook her head. 

 ‘Then, how…?’ 

 Shrugging, Feena hurried to catch up, forcing me to do the same. As we trotted across the hangar, I reminded myself that I shouldn’t get irritated right now. Sure, Feena and Dee had been talking above my head, discussing things that I didn’t understand, but even still, I was here to ask a favor. Dee could act as strangely as she wanted. 

 Unfortunately, dismissing my annoyance was difficult today. 

 When we reached the hangar door, a man hustled through it, nearly bowling me over in his haste. Without acknowledging us, he made a beeline for the strike ship, and I’d taken a step to follow him when Dee grabbed my arm, hugging it to her. 

 “Oh, leave him be. He’s just doing his job,” she said. “Besides, your friend isn’t the one you’re meant to protect.” 

 She expectantly gazed at me, but whatever she wanted, I couldn’t provide. I couldn’t move, stuck in place. Fortunately, Feena recognized my problem, resting a hand on the other woman’s shoulder. 

 “Let him go, Dee,” she said. “Despite how relaxed he looks, he’s on edge, and you know what that means.” 

 Rapidly blinking, Dee said, “Oh.” 

 She dropped my arm, watching with fascination as I made the knife I’d been holding disappear. I didn’t like that a Chosen had boarded the strike ship behind me, presumably with the intent of speaking with Damari, but I couldn’t let that situation affect me. My friend could handle themselves, so once I’d collect myself, I waved toward the door. 

 “After you.” 

 The interior of the Chosen’s base was as immaculate as what we’d found in the hangar, but here, there was color, coming from plant life and artwork. Not many people were walking down the halls, but the few who did were from both sides of the water. Seeing Lutovish and children of ibis working together as equals, as we were always meant to be, gave me great pleasure, a glimpse of a lifelong goal made manifest. 

 This blissful sense of contentment lasted until we turned another corner and I saw a man made of only white striding toward us. In a blink, I was in front of Feena, pulling her to safety, with my requested rifle aimed at the mage’s face, and he stopped short, lifting his hands. After a beat of stunned silence, Dee clicked her tongue before pulling my arm down. 

 “Please. I know you’ve fought many iisen over your life, but surely you must recognize by now that we Chosen won’t hurt you, protector,” she said. “Now, come.” 

 She took off again, and hesitantly, I followed with Feena at my back, watching the mage the whole time. He maintained my stare until he’d fallen out of view. 

 Had that man been one of the iisen I’d handed off to Feena over the decades, there to be delivered to parts unknown, or someone else? I wished I could say that I remembered the faces of the people I’d brought in, but the sad truth was that after so many decades spent catching mages, they’d started blurring together. 

 I was still contemplating this when Dee stopped beside a door. 

 “Before we meet with Lan, I should warn you two about a few things, doubly so in your case,” she said with a bemused smile at me. “First of all, ze’s an ii . Get over it. Second! Ze is eccentric. So, you know… prepare yourself.” 

 Giving me no time to protest that spiel, she marched through the door, tugging me and Feena after her by proxy. The room beyond was dim, excessively so, and seeing that, I touched a glow ball in my pocket, activating it. A mage who enjoyed the dark? Usually, that indicated that they were a Shade, commanding one of the most powerful liiaresim in existence, and if this was so, my glow ball would give me some form of defense against this one. 

 In the low light, I spotted a blobby figure in a chair, hunched over a desk in the corner. I couldn’t tell what ze was doing, but ze stiffened when we entered. 

 “Stay here for a moment,” Dee said. 

 Before she could move, however, the figure spoke. 

 “No closer, please. You’ll disturb my babies. What do you want, Dee?” 

 Completely unphased by the ii’s brusque behavior, Dee said, “I’ve brought you the protector, Lan.” 

 If there had been a trace of sarcasm in that last bit, Lan ignored it. Throwing zir head back, ze groaned. 

 “Eighteen minutes, forty-one seconds, and fifty-eight milliseconds early,” ze said. “If you rushed while getting him here, I’ll mess with your digestive system for a week, Dee.” 

 So, ze was also a Somadept. Given zir probable Shade liiaresim, that was a scary combination of magics.  

 Even so, Dee didn’t seem to care. With her eyes fixed on the ceiling, she shook her head. 

 “Yes, yes,” she said. “Now, will you hear his request, or are you going to be-?” 

 “Fifty-eight degrees, fifty-one minutes, and fifty-four seconds north. One hundred and eight degrees, fifty-four minutes, and twenty-five seconds west. Your coordinates,” Lan rattled off. “Now, get out of my hair.” 

 Sighing, Dee rolled her head toward me, giving me a look. 

 “I told you ze was eccentric,” she said. 

 I shrugged. If I’d gotten what I needed without a word spoken on my part, so much the better for me. Even still, I was curious how Lan had known the coordinates I’d need before I’d made my request. Also, ze’s lack of research before giving me an answer was concerning, but at this point, I wouldn’t question it. I was already working off of a series of long shots and shaky theories. What was one more? 

 “Hell, you’re just as strange as zir,” Dee said to herself. “Fine. Bye, Lan. See you never, hopefully.” 

 Ze made a noncommittal noise, but Dee was already halfway out of the room, uninterested in hearing it. As we left, I nudged my sister, lifting both eyebrows. Were the Chosen always this strange? 

 She’d turned inward, however, only paying attention enough to chuckle at my implication. As we meandered back to the hangar, I kept an eye on her, noting how she hadn’t once stopped chewing on her lip. What had her so concerned? 

 As if to throw me further off balance, Feena fully returned to the present when we reached the hangar, stopping short with blood draining from her face. Dee didn’t look much better, leaving her mouth flapping while she stared ahead, and when I glanced toward what had captured their attention, I cocked my head. Why had a single mage elicited such an extreme reaction from them? 

 To be fair, this one looked different from every other ii I’d ever seen. They tended to wear all white, matching their clothing to their body’s complexion, and it was usually cut into a flowing robe. This girl… teenager really, was wearing a pair of form-fitting pants and a loose sweater, and it was all black, my favorite color for clothing. 

 She was talking with the man who’d stormed past us earlier, seemingly oblivious to how much he was cringing away from her, and on top of that, he was wringing his hands, as if expecting her to destroy him at any minute. Considering how many mages I’d seen here, that reaction seemed out of proportion. Was this ii truly so dangerous? 

 “I have to go,” Dee faintly said. “Will you…?” 

 Feena just nodded, letting our guide vanish in a flurry, and I turned toward my sister while watching the mage. 

 “Threat level?” I asked. 

 Jumping, Feena glanced over at me, landing her eyes on where I was touching a weapon. 

 Slapping my hand, she hissed, “You cannot attack her. Not even if she hurts me or you. The world needs her far more than it needs us. Promise me.” 

 Ha! Like I’d ever let someone attack a loved one without killing them first. Still. If it would put Feena at ease… 

 “Ok,” I said. “I think.” 

 Snorting, Feena patted my arm. 

 “Don’t worry,” she said. “From what I understand, you’re her favorite.” 

 Wha-? 

 Feena pushed me forward, and scowling at her, I made my way toward the strike ship. When I was halfway there, the mage glanced up, and when she saw me, she broke into a beatific grin. 

 “Zae-zae!” she shouted. 

 She started running toward me while the man she’d been speaking with slunk away. I froze, strung between my promise to my sister and a need to defend myself. Normally, I could easily resolve an internal conflict like this, but this time, exhaustion made it last a tad too long, long enough for the mage to notice my hesitation. Slowing, she stopped several paces away with something sad moving across her face. 

 “You don’t know me,” she said. 

 “Should I?” I asked. 

 Everything about this visit had made me uncomfortable—how the hell did they know so much about me and what I needed?—and given how strange it had been, I wasn’t sure how to steer myself into safe waters with this conversation. Slumping, the mage shook her head, but after a few heartbeats, she straightened, putting on a brave face. 

 “Why should you know me? We haven’t met yet,” she said. “Let’s change that, shall we?” 

 Stepping forward, she offered me a hand, and when I stared at it, unmoving, she chuckled. 

 “I’m not a Somadept, Zae-zae,” she said. “Shade, Vanisher, Vimian, and Earthshaker? Yes. Somadept? No.” 

 Which meant there was no harm in taking her hand. As I shook it, I frowned. Iisen weren’t normally so free with sharing which magic types they controlled, so why had she told me hers? 

 “You are Zaeden. Protector of the avaarien, the progenitor’s partner, the most reluctant of Lokke Vitras, and the only Lutovish in a long while who claims no House,” the mage said, “and I am Sol.” 

 With a slow blink, I fought the need to shake my head, hoping to clear it. If I did that, it would reveal how badly she’d shaken me. Having a complete stranger speak one of my deepest secrets aloud felt… strange, but her name pulled me free of shock. I latched onto it, unwilling to contemplate how this mage knew so much about me. Not now. 

 Sol. Where had I heard that name? After a moment’s thought, I clicked my tongue. Kalaski. Right. The other fucking strange thing that had happened recently. 

 “I have a message for you,” I said, barely noticing how empty I sounded. “The mages of Kalaski wanted you to know that ‘they, the faithful, have accomplished their part of your vision’.” 

 Releasing me, Sol flung a hand over her mouth while tears filled her eyes. 

 “Then… they are…” 

 Swallowing hard, she forced a smile. 

 “Thank you for conveying the message, Zae-zae,” she said. “It means a lot.” 

 Why did she keep using my grandmother’s nickname for me? How did she know it?  

 Before I could think too hard about that, Sol forged onward. 

 “In any case, you have much to do, from what I understand, and I won’t keep you from it. I’d leave you with a piece of advice before I go, though,” she said. “Concerning my fellow iisen, you should know that as with every other human, we were all once frightened children, shivering in the dark. Like you, we’ve all once hidden from the monster that’s come to kill us. Please, remember that when hunting us seems like the only light in your world.” 

 Those words were like barbs, digging into the heart of me, and I barely contained my wince. Did she think that I enjoyed hunting her people down? 

 With a bow, Sol said, “Well met, protector of my avaarien . Until we meet again.” 

 Numbly, I watched her trade places with Feena. My sister ignored the other woman, although she relaxed once they’d passed one another. 

 “Quite a piece of work, isn’t she?” she said with a nervous chuckle. “Shake it off, Zae. She unsettles everyone. Part of her charm. Besides, you need to get going, right?” 

 That was right. My mission. Saving Lutov. Why was I finding it so difficult to focus on that? 

 “Feena, all of these people are strange, not just her,” I said, “and what do you mean, I need to go?” 

 I had to act as if nothing had affected me. Maybe then, I could return to my typical, cocky self. Maybe I could shake off this increasingly common sense of unease. Like something, both inside and out, was utterly wrong. 

 “For now, I’m staying here. I have some unfinished business to take care of,” Feena said, “but please, don’t worry about me. I’ll be back in Xygek before you, probably. Unless you plan on retrieving your family from the city before heading into the unknown?” 

 Why would she think that I’d take my loved ones to the place my new coordinate pinpointed? It was somewhere deep within the Tainted Lands! I wouldn’t let them go anywhere near it. 

 “They’ll be fine in Xygek for a little while longer,” I said. “As for you… if you’re sure about staying , then I wish you luck.” 

 Shoving me, Feena laughed. 

 “I think you’ll need luck more than me,” she said. “Be safe.” 

 “I will.” 

 After a hug, we separated, and I boarded the strike ship.  

 When I entered the front of it, Damari was curled up in their seat with their arms around their legs and their face buried in their knees. They were breathing hard, and I cleared my throat, hoping I wasn’t interrupting something. As expected, when their head shot up, their face was a mess of tears, and they hastily swiped at their eyes. I- I’d never seen them cry before. 

 “Sorry. Sorry!”  they said. “Give me a second, and I’ll get us in the air-” 

 Striding to their side, I crouched beside them. 

 “Damari, stop,” I said. ‘Look at me.” 

 Reluctantly, they did as I’d asked. 

 “Are you ok?” 

 Hiccupping on a laugh, Damari grimaced before nodding. 

 “Everything’s fine,” they said. “Just had a visitor. He told me something I didn’t want to hear, but… it needed to be said. Sit down.” 

 When I didn’t move, they rolled their eyes. 

 “For fuck’s sake, LV. I’ll be fine. Don’t get all dramatic on me, although…” 

 They looked away. 

 “I’d like it if you sat in the back for this flight. I could use some time alone.” 

 Rising, I said, “Of course. Here are our coordinates as well as an authorization code to lower the Tainted Land’s galnuka.” 

 When I waved toward Damari, they resolutely faced forward, and I winced. Much as I might do it to myself, I hated watching other people ignore whatever issue was bothering them. 

 “Please, let me know if I can help,” I said. “I’d hate to learn that you were suffering when I could have done something for you.” 

 A smile twitched onto Damari’s face. 

 “Will do,” they said. “Now, get the fuck out.” 

 Chuckling, I followed my instructions. Before I’d found a place to collapse, Damari had us airborne, and we left the Chosen’s base of operations behind.

Chapter 64: Crossing the Line
An hour or two into the flight, I was still agonizing over whether leaving my family behind had been a good idea. Yes, this part of my plan might be dangerous, exceedingly so, but still, keeping them in the dark felt like a betrayal. Even so, I wouldn’t have brought them with me for this, especially not Baely. No way in hell would I let her go anywhere near a heavily irradiated land, not if I could help it. 

 But then, the time when I could have included my family was gone. Damari got us through the galnuka that guarded the Tainted Lands, and beyond it, my connection to the network that held Lutov together was cut off. Until we crossed over again, I couldn’t contact my family or anyone else in the homeland. 

 Soon after this, I clambered to my feet, intent on finding a radiation suit. A strike ship usually held a few of those, to be used in case of emergency. Sure, not many places existed where radiation levels were high enough to harm human physiology, but House Kolb was all about preparing for contingencies like that, which was fortunate for me today. 

 Grabbing a suit from a nearby crate, I started pulling it on. I was in the middle of wondering when Damari would join me when the strike ship shuddered around me. It was rough enough that I nearly lost my balance, and once I’d regained it, I frowned at the door separating me from the front of the ship. 

 “Damari?” I called. “Is everything ok?” 

 Nothing came from beyond that door, and as I crossed to it, another shiver rattled through the strike ship, sending me stumbling into a crate. 

 “Damari?” 

 When flying with my friend, I’d come to expect turbulence from time to time, but this seemed extreme. Frowning, I knocked on the door. 

 “What’s going on?” I called. “Do you need help?” 

 But there was no reply for me, and I hovered, unsure if I should use my Lokke Vitras privileges to get through a door that my friend clearly wanted locked. 

 That was when I noticed how far the floor of the strike ship had tilted. We were descending, even with our position nowhere near where we should be, and besides that, it was quickly reaching an angle that wasn’t safe for landing. 

 As another shudder rattled through the strike ship, I cursed, forcing my way through the door. Damari got my attention for a breath—why were they slumped like that?—before I was at the manual controls, working to stabilize us. 

 “Give me control now!” I shouted. “Why are you flying if you’re so sleep deprived-?” 

 A weak chuckle cut me off. 

 “Sorry… LV. Not… sleep deprived. Haven’t… been…” 

 With my mind freezing, my body went on auto-pilot, correcting our trajectory, even as I craned my head toward Damari. They were practically laying in their chair, boneless, with their chest barely moving. Even with an oxygen mask over their face, I could hear them wheezing, just as I could see the blue color of their lips. I’d seen this before, although never in this context. Regardless, I knew what it meant. 

 “You lied,” I numbly said. “You’ve been poisoned this whole time.” 

 Weakly nodding, Damari said, “Moves faster… in me. Didn’t want to… worry you.” 

 Spinning back to the controls, I started flicking switches, doing everything needed to prepare us for a speedy landing. 

 “Ok. Let’s get on the ground,” I said. “We’ll get you into stasis-” 

 “Can’t,” Damari interrupted. “Emergency pods… in Xygek… to prepare for what’s coming. Didn’t know… until we left.” 

 That made sense. Of course the stasis pods on a strike ship would have been kept in the capital for the surge of people who’d soon need them. People like my friend, who needed stasis now. 

 Taking a deep breath, I said, “Fine. We’ll drop me off, and I’ll send you back on autopilot. After I get the sample, I can find my own way home.” 

 Damari softly snorted. 

 “Whatever… ya say, LV.” 

 Hear the fondness in their voice as they coddled me! Because they knew, just like I did. If hypoxia had already advanced this far in them, they had maybe ten minutes at most, probably much less. The long flight back to the capital… They- they wouldn’t- 

 “Why would you do this?” I snapped. 

 I wasn’t thinking about it. My eyes weren’t burning. My chest wasn’t so tight that I was having as hard of a time with breathing as my friend. Mother Time, why did the image that that thought had invoked make me want to laugh? 

 When they didn’t answer, I growled, “Damari! Why would you insist on coming with me? Why not stay in the capital, where it’s safe?” 

 I couldn’t look back, couldn’t check on them. What if they were…? 

 Fuck. Why wasn’t the ground coming to greet us more quickly? 

 “Thought I… had more time,” Damari gasped. “And you… when things get bad… you- you need… someone… to watch your back.” 

 Oh, no. No, no, no. This couldn’t be my fault. At that thought, something warm and distinctly wet started rolling over my cheeks. 

 “I’m the Lokke Vitras, you- you idiot,” I said, ignoring how much my voice was shaking. 

 Ignoring the hand that was crushing my heart. 

 “I don’t need help. I can handle everything that’s thrown my way.” 

 After a long pause, Damari said, “Zaeden. The Lokke Vitras isn’t… indomitable. You… taught me that. You… need us.” 

 And the ground finally met us. It was a rough landing all told, nearly jolting me off my feet. If he’d been here, Korix would have scolded me for it, but at the moment, I didn’t give a single fuck about my proficiency with flying. 

 As soon as it was safe, I spun toward Damari, meaning to help them as much as I could, but when I saw them, I stopped short. The mask had fallen off of their face, on the ground from where it had slipped out of their limp fingers, and they were… they were smiling at me with blue-highlighted lips. 

 “No,” I hissed through my teeth. “No, damn you!” 

 In two strides, I was beside them, searching their pockets for RRDs. What was the point of starting chest compressions if I didn't fix the damage that had already been done to their body first? Unfortunately, all I found were empty vials— 

 Mother fucking Time, how many RRDs had they taken? No. Ignore it. Ignore it. 

 —so I snagged a few from my own supply, jabbing them into Damari’s carotid artery. 

 Crouching I ran my eyes over my friend. I couldn’t do much more than wait right now, so— 

 They’re GONE, roared a voice in my head, so like Korix’s. Look at them, you foolish man! How many times have you seen death? You know what it looks like, and that’s what you’re staring at now. 

 —so! I started talking, hoping that my words would encourage my friend to fight. 

 “Come on, Third Stratus. You need to get up. Over the next few months, Baely will need their auncle, just as much as Korix and Leski will need you. Who else will help my wife if Ko has another fit?” 

 LOOK AT THEM! You think you can change what you see? That’s stupid. So. damn. stupid. Accept your reality! 

 “Fuck you!” I snapped at the voice, swiping at my eyes. “Please. I… I need my- my friend. We are friends. Right, Damari? With… who I am, it’s hard to tell sometimes. All I know for sure is that you are my friend, my only… only… You know that, right? Please, Mother Time, please say that you do.” 

 You’ve seen this before, except… with this vision of death, you’re not looking at an unknown target, are you? That’s not who you’ve killed. This is someone you love, and they’re gone. You… we…  I need to accept that. Damari is gone. 

 “You’re gone,” I whispered. “Why am I talking to you? You can’t hear me. You’re gone, and I- I- I WAS SUPPOSED TO PROTECT YOU!” 

 We’re wasting our time here. We need to go. We need to find a clue for how to make an antidote. We have to make sure this doesn’t happen to anyone else. 

 Screaming, I squeezed my eyes shut while clutching at my head. 

 “Shut up!” I shouted. “Shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up!” 

 How had this happened? Damari had been- been laughing and making fun of me a few hours ago. Why hadn’t they told me they were poisoned? I could have… 

 Have what? Made them stay in Xygek, to be put into stasis? They’d have found a way to come after me. That was just they way they’d… been. 

 Fuck. I couldn’t do this. I had to- to think about the mission. 

 Given that, what should I do now? I was in the Tainted Lands. I needed to make a plan, but any time I tried to do that, my thoughts started slipping on themselves. So, I took a few sips of air, forcing myself to open my eyes. 

 And immediately, I fell into the base of the chair behind me, scrambling to get away from a holographic representation of my friend. 

 “You’re sure this time stamp will be right?” they said, speaking to someone unseen. “He’ll still be there to watch it? That’s a long time for him to sit around afterward.” 

 “I guarantee you that he’ll be there,” a strange voice said. 

 Wrinkling their nose, holographic Damari said, “All right.” 

 Then, they focused, looking straight at me with a smile. 

 “Heya, LV! Surprise!” they sang. “I bet ya this is a hell of a shock for you, which honestly? That would almost make this worth it. Your face when something doesn’t go according to your plans is priceless. Anyway, I just wanted to say a few things, and one of our friends from the Chosen is making that happen. Say hi, John!” 

 Damari glanced over my head, but when I followed their gaze, no one was there, whether physically or holographically. 

 “I’d rather not,” someone unseen said. 

 “He’s no fun,” Damari said, making a face. “Seriously! He got on my ship without permission, told me I was going to die, and insisted that I make a recording, set to play at this time. Supremely bad bedside manner, John.” 

 “Would you please get on with this?” the stranger said. “I have more important places to be.” 

 Raising an eyebrow, Damari said, “See what I mean?” 

 And they burst into laughter. Still stunned, I could only listen to that beautiful noise, enjoying it while it lasted. 

 “All right! All right!” they said. “I have a few things to say before I go. First, some logistics. I know you’ll have to destroy my body, LV. My death, the way it’ll happen… people could use it against you, and I don’t want that, so…” 

 They shrugged. 

 “Do what you have to.” 

 Hell, I hadn’t even thought about that, but they were right. I’d never noticed that my friend was poisoned. Such supreme obliviousness was a weakness that the Lokke Vitras could not afford. I’d have to pretend that it had never existed. How had this detail occurred to Damari when it was their death they were discussing? 

 “I don’t give a shit what happens to my belongings,” Damari continued, “but Misah… besides you and your family, she’s the only person I care about. Sure, we may be estranged… although that’s lessened in the last week of playing as her test subject. Huh.” 

 They turned thoughtful for a moment before shaking themselves. 

 “But anyway, Misah’s eccentric and off-putting at times, but she’s my sister. Take care of her, please. And finally…” 

 Leaning forward, holographic Damari stopped obscuring the motionless version of them that was sprawled in the chair behind their back, and it took everything I had not to see that copy. 

 “I’ve gotten to know you well over the years, LV. I’m pretty sure that I know what you’ll do after I die, and I’m not ok with it. So, I need you to listen to me.” 

 Reaching out, holographic Damari somehow managed to place their hands where they could ‘squish’ my face before going deadly serious. 

 “This is not your fault, Zaeden. No matter what you think, it. is. not. Ok?” they said. “And if I ever find out that you’re beating yourself up over my death, I will find a way to come back from the Collective so I can kick your shapely ass. Understand?” 

 Even as I nodded and laughed, I couldn’t help the tears that were streaming from my eyes. What was this? Why had my self-control so thoroughly abandoned me in the face of this? 

 …Why was I wondering about that? Given every other lapse I’d noticed recently, this was the only one that seemed warranted. 

 “Good.” 

 Sighing, holographic Damari leaned back in their seat. 

 “Now, why are you sitting there, moping?” they said. “Get out there, and… always be the Lokke Vitras and more importantly, the person that you want to be, Zaeden. My friend.” 

 They gave me a crooked smile before disappearing, leaving only a corpse behind, and it was like someone had punched me in the solar plexus. I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t think . I couldn’t- 

 From a distance, I watched myself stand and close my friend’s eyes, but then, I checked out for a time. When next I was fully aware, I was in a radiation suit, standing in the Tainted Lands with a bag of supplies over my shoulder, and the strike ship was in flames behind me. 

 Part of me needed to stay behind, ensuring that Damari had a decent Dispersal, but most of me remembered their words. I had to get going. 

 So, putting one foot in front of the other, I began the trek to my destination.

Chapter 65: The Tainted Lands
For a supposedly irradiated to hell part of Lutov, the Tainted Lands seemed to be thriving, to my eye at least. The verdantly green and yellow grasses of the Azuwell Plains stretched out all around me, and seeing how much of it there was, I might have worried about the fire that I’d left behind if I hadn’t already noted the churned earth on all sides of the strike ship, created by my near crash landing, that would contain it. 

 In the distance, the occasional animal moved through the grass while signs of their passage could be found closer to me, and if I were so inclined, I could have my array sharpen my vision so I could see more of their details.  

 But I didn’t. What would be the point? They didn’t pose a threat, either just passing through this place or too sick to harm me, and my normal sense of curiosity had flown out the window. The only thing keeping me headed toward my goal was a memory of a slack face and the imaginings of what that would look like on Pheniks or Leski or Mother Time forbid, Baely. 

 Fortunately, every time I tried applying it to Korix, the image scattered while a breath of amusement brushed through me. My life partner could slip through the measly grasp of something like hypoxia, even if I had no clue how such an escape could be possible. 

 Hours passed me by as I trudged through the grass, building up a layer of sweat in my radiation suit. Already, my surroundings were taxing its ability to protect me, something that would only get worse as I moved deeper into the Tainted Lands, and I dully noted that if this kept up, that protection would fail me before I reached my sample. 

 I didn’t know how I’d get it home. The more time passed, the more I was sure that I should have burned only Damari’s body instead of the strike ship as well, risking someone using the vehicle’s recorders to learn about my failure, but I hadn’t been thinking straight when setting fire to everything. 

 In fact, if I was remembering those events correctly, I hadn’t been thinking at all, but that couldn’t be right. Could it? If it was, where had I gone?  

 So… maybe I was wrong or misremembering what had happened. Maybe I’d just been going through the motions instead. 

 Even if I’d been clear-headed, though, I would have made only one change to what I’d done: flying the strike ship closer to my destination before setting it ablaze. After my colossal fuck up with Sanya and the shukusenth’s poisoning, I couldn’t afford to make more mistakes. So, why leave behind any evidence of one that I could easily hide?  

 Besides, I might not need the strike ship. If I was lucky, I could use the wreckage around me to escape from this place. 

 I’d gotten deep enough into the Tainted Lands that the leftovers of the old war had begun littering the ground around me, anything my people hadn’t had the time or resources to reach. I’d passed an ancient, human encampment as well as remnants of the aliens’ communication link, the tech that Lutov used for our network. 

 Hell, one of my scientist personas, Rylan, would find this nonsense too fascinating to ignore, like I must. I could almost feel the tug of his curiosity against the numbness that surrounded me, dragging on my feet, and… 

 When I next blinked, I was moving toward a glint of steel on the horizon instead of my coordinates, and roughly shaking my head, I once more retreated into semi-fog, trying to remember why those old relics had seemed important not two minutes ago. 

 Oh, right! Some of the wreckage I’d come across had looked like downed aircraft. As I’d moved along, I’d seen ships from both sides of the war, and while some had been wrecked beyond recognition, others had looked like they could work, at least nominally. 

 Nominal functionality was all I needed. If I could get one temporarily into the air, I’d only need to get it through the Tainted Lands’ galnuka before I could contact Talira, requesting backup through her. Hopefully, I could find an aircraft that would meet my needs when I reached my destination. 

 Which was apparently in the mountains. I couldn’t see my coordinates leading anywhere else. Their foothills had started rising around me, giving my exhausted body a work-out, and I still had a ways to go. 

 Unfortunately, I couldn’t remember any stories of Founders fighting aliens in the mountains, which made me wonder if Lan had given me the right coordinates. Because of that, I’d be tempted to search the occasional, nearby ruins for a sample if I thought my radiation suit would last long enough to allow it— 

 Again, my feet started me toward one of those places for a moment, and I frowned, correcting my course. 

 —but as it was, I was starting to thing that bringing a second suit with me, no matter how heavy they were, would have been a good idea. 

 I hadn’t done that, though. I’d have to hope that this suit and—if it failed—my body would last long enough to bring what I needed to a location that my people could access. 

 As night fell, I took a short break. I’d been falling asleep on my feet, wondering why I’d changed directions every time I jerked back awake, so after setting traps around me, I set an alarm and started a dream sequence. 

 The alarm proved unnecessary. After about an hour of sleep, I sat bolt upright with my friend’s name on my lips, spending the next few minutes on getting my breathing back under control. 

 I didn’t cry. For some reason, my body wouldn’t allow me that. 

 After it became clear that not even a dream sequence would get me back to sleep, I collected my traps and moved on, climbing deeper into the mountains. 

 My suit failed as the sun peeked above the horizon. I was at a high elevation, so as I peeled it off, I was short of breath for more than one reason. 

 Immediately, my array screamed about the radiation that was bombarding my body, but I dismissed the alert without reading its details. What was the point when I couldn’t change my situation? 

 As I finished the last leg of the journey, I did my best to enjoy my surroundings. The air this high in the mountains was chilly but not uncomfortable. In fact, the temperature felt rather pleasant against my exercise-warmed skin. That combined with the untamed nature around me made the hike rather lovely. 

 At this point, I hadn’t reached where snow was clinging to the mountains’ peaks. Instead, I waded through sickly grass while the occasional, scraggly tree shaded me from the sun. It was quiet here, a silence that I could appreciate. It perfectly complemented my internal state. 

 And if I was using my surroundings to amplify the emptiness inside, willfully ignoring what was really going on in my head, I would never admit to that fact. 

 Within a few hours of removing my suit, however, any peace that I might have gained from these delightful surroundings was nullified by a horrible headache as well as a near-constant need to be sick. Thankfully, I was vomiting only bile soon enough, and along with that change, my heart joined in with everything else complaining about my radiation exposure. In my chest, it was racing like one of Ibis’ freight trains. 

 Fortunately, a period of calm soon came, one that always followed the initial symptoms of radiation sickness, and I could continue without that impediment, even if I was already dreading the next wave. 

 Hours later, I rounded an outcropping, and when I saw what lay beyond, I stopped short so I could acknowledge the relief pounding through me. For directly in front of me was a dropship belonging to those from beyond the stars, perfectly intact, with its hatch open.

Chapter 66: Retrieval
I stumbled toward the dropship, only now noticing how much my body had started trembling. That was bad, wasn’t it? I thought that was bad. 

 As I came closer, I noted signs of the fight that had taken place outside of the dropship. Bits of corroded armor were scattered across the ground with their contained skeletons long since decomposed while scorch marks decorated the aircraft’s hull. The part of me that was always dedicated to combat took great interest in the differences between those ancient sets of armor when compared to the ones I sometimes used, but mostly, I was concerned about whether I could fly this ship. 

 When it came to alien tech, I’d had a basic education, as did most Lutovish citizens during House rotations, but as a whole, the homeland was mostly clueless about how larger machinery like this operated, content as we’d been to integrate smaller pieces of it with our own tech. Hopefully, the little I did know about it would be enough. 

 As I stepped into the aircraft, I glanced down either side of the hallway inside while wrinkling my nose. The interior of this dropship could be a replica of its exterior with white, bone-like material making ribs over its metallic walls. The only differences here were found in its floor’s black material and the glow lights—so like fireflies—that had been strung along the ceiling. 

 Leaning against the aircraft’s entrance, I analyzed all of this, looking for potential danger. Not that any threat here could have been worse than what I was fighting internally. In no way, shape, or form could I stay on my feet without support right now. My legs were trembling too much to keep me upright. 

 Mother Time, I needed to hurry. If this turned into full-body convulsions before I was ready, it would be unfortunate. 

 When I could, I picked a direction and trudged down the hall, hoping I’d quickly find what I needed. Fortunately, I did, although that wasn’t surprising. Given how small the aircraft was, searching it didn’t take me long. 

 Not far from the hatch, an organic-looking door had been jammed open by a… body. I couldn’t think of another single-word description for what I was seeing. 

 Was this what those from beyond the stars had looked like? It was nothing like what I’d imagined. In far better condition than I’d expected, it had fur covering its atrophied muscles with two, withered tails lying along its back. A thin arm was stretched into the hall with an enormous scoop of a hand reaching for something unknown, and on the other side of the door, I could barely make out stubby legs as well as several, additional lumps. Other bodies, perhaps? 

 Overall, the corpse was massive, making me grateful that it was already in the aircraft. I was also glad that it was lying face down. What I’d already seen was strange enough, thank you. I had no need to see its face. 

 Besides, seeing its eyes, no matter how empty or desiccated they might be, would probably bring up memories, ones I was trying to block in with everything else I had sectioned away, which… 

 No. Not right now. 

 Also, how was this body so well-preserved? It had been hundreds of years since the war, and yet, this being looked like it had died a few days ago. How advanced must these aliens have been if they’d had the ability to so greatly slow down decay? It was no wonder that during the war, they’d been destroying us, and given that, thank Mother Time that the Ancients had given us their aid. 

 Shaking my head, I went looking for the aircraft’s cockpit, and when I found what I needed, I slid into the room’s egg-shaped chair. Trying to catch my breath, I examined strange instruments, wondering how they were meant to get this dropship off of the ground. 

 My eyes snagged on a pair of wires, left dangling beside a display. Even as different as this pair looked from what I was used to, I recognized a set of connectors, the equipment needed to access a storecase. Had we stolen that tech from these beings too? 

 When I reached for the end of the wires, my hand was shaking so badly that it took me four tries to grab them, but once I’d accomplished that, I lifted them to eye level, pursing my lips. Interacting with alien tech sans prior testing seemed like a horrible idea but… 

 “I don’t have much of a choice,” I sighed. “Here goes nothing.” 

 As I pasted the ends of the wires to the back of my neck, I hoped I was right about them, and sure enough, an interface popped into my array once they were in place. It was unintelligible, but still, I relaxed at the sight of it, letting shivers rumble through me. 

 “Don’t have much time,” I said under my breath. “Should get started.” 

 How did I do that, though? To me, the provided interface was an unreadable mash of shapes and symbols, and with the extent of my radiation poisoning’s progress, I’d say that I had an hour, maybe two if I was lucky, to figure it out. I distinctly didn’t think about what my body’s uncontrolled shaking would mean for me personally. 

 Mother Time, I had to get over the demarcation line. Once I had, I could send a message to my family before… 

 They couldn’t live in suspense, never knowing what had happened to me or Damari. I had to get home, get this damn alien aircraft off of the ground- 

 The interface in my array flashed purple with the controls around me lighting up, and a thin segment of the wall peeled back, giving me a good view of the mountains. As the dropship shot into the air, the ground diminished beneath me, although no pressure pushed me into my seat, but once it had reached a stable height, it stopped, hovering in place. 

 I was left panting in my chair. Even without inertia to distress my weakened body, that takeoff had had black spots blooming in my vision, and rapidly blinking, I struggled to shake it off. 

 “So, you work on intention, huh? Like Truthseeker magic,” I gasped. “That’s scary. Still.” 

 Closing my eyes, I thought of a decent landing site, one that wasn’t far from Xygek. Bringing an alien aircraft into the city proper might cause a panic, hence the external location, but when I envisioned flying there, nothing happened. 

 “Ok, maybe not intentions alone,” I said. “Maybe you need detail too?” 

 But when I thought about the coordinates associated with my landing site, the aircraft stayed hovering in place, and for a moment, I thought that my hypothesis was wrong. 

 Then, I clicked my tongue. This aircraft belonged to those from beyond the stars, not humans. Who knew how those beings had pinpointed a location on the planet or if they’d even thought doing something like that was worthwhile? Coordinates were a human construct. 

 So, hoping it would work, I pictured the globe, finding where I wanted to go on it, before imagining the aircraft landing there. 

 And it moved . Hell, it was fast, making the ground blur beneath me, but I was too tired to marvel at this, just glad that something was canceling out inertia where I was sitting. If it hadn’t been, this aircraft’s rate of acceleration would have finished what a neurotoxin had started last week. 

 For a good fifteen minutes, I limply sat in my chair, watching an intermeshed wall of lasers approach, and once we’d gotten close enough, I sent out the code needed to lower it. On passing through, I requested a direct connection with Talira, and when she accepted it, she didn’t give me time to speak. 

 “Where the fuck are you?” she snapped. “You cannot go off the grid like-” 

 “I have your sample,” I interrupted. 

 I had to stop for a moment because fucking hell. I’d never sounded so… so… 

 “What happened?” Talira said, suddenly all business. 

 “Doesn’t matter,” I said, slurring the words. “I’m on my way to Xygek. Plan to land at these coordinates. Get a team to collect the sample as soon as possible. Now, I need to talk to my family.” 

 After a pause, Talira said, “Zae-zae, how bad-?” 

 “Talira!” I shouted. 

 This left me breathless for a moment, but I forced myself onward. 

 “I greatly respect you, more than most people I know, but I need to talk to my family. Right now. Please, let me do that.” 

 My grandmother swallowed hard enough that I heard it over the connection. 

 “Ok,” she said, “but I’m sending an emergency response team out with the others. So… so, fight for me, all right?” 

 With a slight smile, I said, “Fighting’s what I do best. Goodbye, Talira.” 

 I cut the connection before she could answer, squeezing my eyes closed. Despite what I’d said, I wasn’t sure if I should contact my family. My body’s shivering was getting bad enough that I might topple out of my chair, and I wouldn’t be able to hide that for long, not even in my voice. 

 Should I leave my family with such a horrible memory of me? If I didn’t reach out now, Leski and Korix would be furious, more than they already would be after I’d left them out of this mission, but Baely… 

 In the end, I didn’t include my daughter in the connection request, at least for now. If their parents thought we should add them, I might do that, but for them moment, I’d rather shield them from… me. 

 Korix and Leski accepted the request at the same time, as if they’d been waiting for it, and as with Talira, they didn’t give me a chance to speak. 

 “You’d better have an excellent reason for your silence, Zaeden,” Leski growled. 

 With a soft sigh, Korix said, “Love, I thought we were saving the lecture for once things have settled down.” 

 “Oh, right.” 

 As they continued chatting, their voices washed over me, and this had me clamping a shaking hand over my mouth while my eyes burned. 

 “-still. What do you have to say for yourself?” Leski eventually asked. 

 Oh, Mother Time. I didn’t want to say a word. Please, could they just keep talking? 

 That wouldn’t happen. 

 Peeling my fingers away from my lips, I cleared my throat. 

 “I’d say… that meeting you two and having Baely are the best things that have happened to me,” I forced from my tongue. “Without you, my life would have been hell, so thank you for sticking with me through the hard times.” 

 Silence fell, one so deep that I wondered if it had a bottom, until Leski’s oh-so-small voice filled the connection. 

 “Love, what are you-?” 

 She cut off, leaving me with imaginings of Korix’s death grip on her. 

 “Do you want visuals, Zae?” he asked. 

 Mother fucking Time, how did he always know…? 

 “If you share them, I can’t reciprocate,” I weakly said. “There are no recorders here-” 

 “That doesn’t matter,” Korix said. “Do you want visuals?” 

 Somehow, I kept from sobbing. 

 “Yes, please,” I whispered. 

 I rested my hand, palm up, on the chair’s arm, clamping it in place with my free hand as best I could. When it came through, their image was jittery, but even still, it was one of the most glorious sights I’d ever beheld. Korix was tightly holding Leski, and they were sitting on a couch, completely white-faced. I couldn’t see much of their surroundings, but given what was visible, they could only be in our apartment. 

 “Hello, there,” I said. “You two are gorgeous. You know that, right?” 

 On that last word, my teeth clenched together with every muscle in my body tensing, and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t stop a grunt from flying free of me. 

 When I could, I said. “Sorry. I know this is disturbing. You’d say it’s a weakness, Ko, but- but I need you both right now, so please…” 

 Leski set her jaw while Korix just closed his eyes, taking a steadying breath. 

 “You always were the most frustrating and amazing kuvesk,” he said, as if to himself. “Why should I have expected that to change now?” 

 Glaring at him, Leski reached over to whack the back of his head before facing forward again. 

 “We’re always here for you, no matter what you might need,” she said. “So, how do we help now?” 

 “Just… talk,” I said. “I don’t care about what. I want to hear your voices. To see your faces.” 

 “We can do that.” 

 So, they told me what was happening in Xygek as well as their plans for the next week, the ones I’d soon be wrecking. During this explanation, my body betrayed me several times, and the noises I unintentionally made occasionally left them speechless. Because of this, when Baely came up, we agreed that keeping her out of this conversation was for the best. 

 I wished that I could talk to her. There were so many things I wanted to say, but a conversation like that would only help me. I’d made a recording for her a long time ago, one that Leski and Korix knew to give her in the event of these circumstances, and while I’d hoped that she’d never have to view it, I’d secretly known it would come to this. 

 As Xygek appeared on the horizon, I did my best to share what had happened to Damari. Unfortunately, I couldn’t bring myself to say those words, but from the looks on their faces, I gathered that they’d put together what I meant, which was good. I couldn’t go into the details of… that. I just couldn’t. 

 Eventually, the aircraft stopped, hovering over its designated landing site, and I landed it with little difficulty. For a moment, I considered waiting for the recovery team where I was, no matter how impossible fighting dea… no. No matter how impossible staying seemed at the moment. The mission wasn’t over until the sample was in trusted hands, and I couldn’t go anywhere until the mission was over. 

 To that end, I couldn’t sit here, waiting. If I did, surrendering to my declining state would be easy, and I couldn’t give up. I couldn’t . 

 I had to fight. Always. It was what I did. 

 So, I hauled myself out of my chair. As I stumbled toward a hatch, leaning on walls as I went, I was vaguely aware of my partners’ voices in my array. Even with me only occasionally responding, they kept talking—although they sounded panicked now—because that was what I’d asked them to do. 

 “Mother Time, I love them. They’re too good for me.” 

 Finally, the hatch came into view, already opened, which was good. Clinging to its frame, I breathed in the free air, giving myself a moment before straightening. 

 Just a few more steps and I could sit in the soil, standing vigil—of a sort—until the mission was done. Just a few more steps and I was in Xygek. Home, in a way. 

 No matter how weak I felt, I could take those few steps because I was the Lokke Vitras, the one person Lutov had deemed strong enough to carry a society’s burden. Because I was Zaeden, and I would never, ever, ever accept my fate. 

 But as I released the aircraft to move forward, my body once more locked up while a muffled scream whistled through my teeth, and I tumbled down the ramp and into the dirt. A hand reached into my brain, jerking on my body’s strings so that my limbs spasmed, and something inside decided that it couldn’t take any more. As my view of the sky narrowed into pinpricks, the last thing to touch my mind was the sound of my partners’ voices. 

 “I love you, Zaeden.” 

 “It’s ok. We’ll be ok.” 

 “Please, just rest.”

Chapter 67: Why Am I Alive?
Throughout my life, I’d speculated about what the Collective would be like, but who wouldn’t do that? Given what little we knew about it, who wouldn’t, on occasion, think about one’s existence after death? 

 From what little we did know, one’s identity was incorporated into the vast collection of the deceased after death. What did that actually mean, though? What would it be like to exist as a near insignificant piece of a whole? 

 Not like this, I’d wager.  

 I felt like shit. Even half-awake as I was, I knew this, and Mother Time, please. Say this wasn’t what death was like. Sure, I might deserve unending pain for the horrible things I’d done, but that didn’t mean I was willing to accept it. 

 When I managed to open my eyes, only to be greeted by a bright light, I couldn’t stop from tearing up, so relieved was I. For a long while, I just breathed, enjoying the rush of air through my nose, while assessing my surroundings. 

 Someone was talking nearby, but something—a closed door, maybe?—had muffled them to where I couldn’t understand what they were saying. Right now, I didn’t care to change that. There was a weight on my lap, but besides those two differences, everything was consistent with the many clinics that I’d woken up in over the years. 

 The smell of sterilized air and RRDs. The orange color in the bag, hanging over my head. The itchy fabric of the loose gown I was wearing and the blanket draped over my legs. The ridiculous soreness and entirely exhausted state of my body. 

 Not that I should complain. With how wrecked I’d been, I didn’t know how I was alive. Rightfully, I should be dead. 

 Like Damari was. 

 From out of nowhere, the last few moments of my friend’s life rushed through me. Every second of it was as sharp and clear as the first time around, and when I once more turned to help them, getting greeted by their empty body instead, I gasped, blinking at a tiled ceiling. The weight on my legs shifted, but I hardly noticed that, too caught in the memory. 

 Then, it was over, and I could no longer deny what I’d long been resisting. It didn’t matter that every cell in my muscles was crying from fatigue. Shaking almost as badly as I had in the moment before I’d collapsed, I rolled onto my side, curling up on myself, and wept . 

 I knew people were here, witnesses to my breakdown, but that was ok. These moments, ones that Talira would have wiped from their arrays, were the only times when I could process the emotional fallout of the trauma that I endured, not that I’d ever have enough time. Recovery was not a ten-minute procedure. 

 Still, I did what I could here. Here, it was safe and far distant from the people I loved. I might lean on them to stay stable, but when it came to the worst parts of my life— Engulfing self-hatred. Rage at my circumstances. Despair that I’d ever escape. Surety that I was doomed to repeat the cycle. I’d never break it. Never, ever. Fucking hell, my friend was dead, and it was my fault! —I wanted them nowhere near me. They could never know about the pain that I kept buried, left so far below the surface that most of the time, I forgot about it. It would only hurt them, and that was the last thing I wanted. 

 So, here, where they weren’t present, I sobbed into a fist that was wrapped in a blanket, taking ragged gasps when I must, and wished that I could scream the aching pulse in my throat away. It pushed against the back of my mouth but would never break through that barrier, stuck inside as it had always been. 

 Someone laid a hand on me. If the medics could overcome their shock over my vulnerable state, those kind people sometimes did this, and I soaked up their provided comfort. This time, it was enough to free my voice. 

 “Why? Why them and not me?” I gasped. “They- they were good, and I’m not. I can’t. I can’t. I can’t.” 

 I repeated those two words, and the hand that was on me rubbed my side while its owner made shushing noises. Another person ran their fingers through my hair. They did it in just the right way, calming me down fast, and something about that… 

 Whatever thought I might have had about that was quickly drowned beneath my pain. 

 For I didn’t know how long, I was stuck like this, alternating between bawling like a child and babbling in stream of consciousness. A lot of what I said involved Damari, but some truly awful things got tossed into the mix too, things that elicited gasps from my observers. At the moment, though, I truly did not give a fuck about them. 

 Then, a door opened, and I knew it was time to pull myself together. That was how it always went. After a truly harrowing mission, Talira gave me time to unleash everything that I held deep inside, although she’d granted me much more of it than usual this time. That was… strange.  

 Once that time was up, however, she came into the room and said: 

 “How long have you lot let him lose it like this?!” 

 That… wasn’t what she typically said. What-? 

 “The better question is why you’re in here,” Korix said. “I told you I’d let you know when he was ready to talk.” 

 Damn. That had sounded angry. I hadn’t heard that tone from him in- 

 Wait. Korix. My Korix. 

 He was here. 

 Suddenly, all of me was cold as I considered the next logical question. Who else was around me? 

 “You, better than most, should know that he can’t let himself cry, not unless he’s safe and more importantly, far away from us,” Talira said. “The longer you let this go on without him knowing you’re here, the worse it will be when he finds out. Also, in case you’ve forgotten, the longer he keeps his control lowered, the harder it’ll be when he has to raise it again.” 

 The hand on my side curled, which dug fingernails into my skin. 

 “As you said, I do know better than most,” Korix said. “I know that when I was him, you never gave me enough time to heal, always ordering me out the door before I was ready for it. I know that it was a huge factor in how I broke toward the end. And I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that I’m not letting you do that to Zaeden. You may be the shukusen of my House, Talira, but that won’t stop me from telling you when you’re making a mistake.” 

 Oh… shit. He was mad. On the rare occasions when this happened, it never ended well unless I intervened in time. So, puffing out a sigh, I sat upright, wincing the whole while, and folded my hands in my lap. Maybe if I kept my gaze pinned on them, I could stay in control. 

 “I’m right here,” I said. “Stop talking about me like I’m not.” 

 Then, I made myself raise my eyes, and my breath caught. They were all here. My partners, on either side of the bed. Baely, sitting at its foot with tear tracks on their face. Talira, by the door. Pheniks, lounging in the chair by the room’s only table. Feena, leaning on a wall with her arms crossed. Even my parents, although they were as far away from me as they could get. 

 For a moment, I saw Damari’s ghost among them, and the burn of this nearly dissolved me into an emotional puddle again. Somehow, I held it together, keeping my focus on my family. They were looking at me with similar expressions: relief mixed with unease, although on my parents’ faces, I found a tinge of the fear that I’d thought had long been forgotten. 

 Hell. 

 “So, how narrowly did I escape death this time?” I said with a nervous smile. “Must have been close to have everyone here at once.” 

 With her face souring, Talira opened her mouth to answer until Feena briefly squeezed her shoulder. 

 “Maybe we should avoid that subject while we have an unHoused in the room,” she said. 

 Every eye darted to Baely, who was swaying in place with a shaky grin. Did she know about Damari yet? Knowing Leski and Korix, they’d probably told her by now, and… I’d probably let it slip when I’d been breaking down. How could she be so calm, knowing they were- they were dead? 

 “Who, me?” Baely said. “But I already know what happened!” 

 Hopping to the floor, they started pacing, wagging a finger as if lecturing us. 

 “After landing near Xygek, per died as an emergency response team was closing on him. They tried reviving him, and when that failed, he went into stasis so the medics could pump him full of RRDs. He went through three rounds of stasis interspersed by time on life support, letting the RRDs work their magic, but even after that, he wasn’t responding. Everyone was fairly certain that he was gone, although another attempt at revival was made. If that third try hadn’t miraculously worked, the medics would have let his poor body expire, despite orders otherwise. You should take better care of yourself, dad.” 

 That last sentence had been the only one to have emotion in it, leaving Baely’s voice trembling, but everything else had been spoken with clinical detachment. Once she was finished, the rest of us stared at her without a word, which made her roll her eyes. 

 “What?” she said. “While the rest of you were freaking out, I reviewed per’s chart. I wanted to know how I should handle a situation like this when it happens again.” 

 When, not if. Oh… my heart. 

 Reaching for Baely, I said. “Sweetie-” 

 They pushed my hands back down, meeting my eyes. 

 “Don’t, dad. I’ll be fine,” they said. “You need to work on doing the same so I don’t have to worry about you.” 

 Chewing on my lip, I watched them for a moment, judging the veracity of their words, before nodding. 

 “Ok,” I said. 

 With that established, I collapsed into the pillows, but that didn’t stop Leski from moving behind our daughter. With tears in her eyes, she hugged their shoulders, rubbing them. 

 Time to move on. 

 “What I’m hearing is that I should be dead, but I already knew that. How wonderful it is that I’m not,” I said, “but we should focus on what’s important. Judging by my father’s presence here, I’m guessing that I brought you something useful, shukusen.” 

 My body’s report that I was toxin-free confirmed that guess, but that hadn’t been the point of what I’d said. I was hoping that Talira would let us handle business rather than dwell on my conversation with Baely or Korix’s near insubordination. Based on how much she’d relaxed, I’d say I had nothing to fear in that regard. 

 “It was incredibly useful. With it, Misah and the others quickly formulated an antidote, and after we'd distributed it to those who needed it most, we began further production. We’ll have more antidotes on hand soon,” she said. “Oh! You’ve been out for a week, by the way. In case you were curious.” 

 Like I wouldn’t have checked the date and time as soon as I’d woken up. 

 With a headshake, I said, “So, we’ve solved our initial problem, which means Sanya no longer has leverage over us. Considering that, she must have been declared a fugitive. Have the shukusenth decided what they want done with her and her collaborators?” 

 Beside me, Korix stiffened, but it was slight enough that only Talira and I should have noticed it. Mother Time, I wanted to take his hand. The only reasons I didn’t were my own body’s tension and how much it would upset him. He didn’t like it when I noticed his discomfort. 

 Talira seemed to share our unease. Making a face, she shifted her weight to her back foot, a defensive move all told. 

 “We shouldn’t get into this now, Zae-zae,” she said. “You could use more rest first, and we could definitely hold this conversation in a more comfortable setting.” 

 She was right. I knew she was right. So, why was I lunging forward, barely keeping myself from snarling at her? 

 “Forgive me, my shukusen, but sacrifice self. House before family. Lutov overall. That’s the Lokke Vitras’ mantra, is it not?” I said. “Give me the information I need to do my damn job. Please.” 

 Surprisingly, Talira didn’t follow her typical routine. Usually, after I’d reminded her that she needed to be a shukusen before she was my grandmother, she got incredibly cranky, but this time, she pursed her lip, hugging herself. 

 Glancing at Korix, she softly said, “You see?” 

 Korix’s face twisted so strongly that even a stranger might see the change in his expression, and after a deep inhale, he got to his feet before marching out of the room. Wide-eyed, Leski looked to me for help—Korix didn’t usually get this emotional—but I had nothing to give her. After a moment spent waiting, she hurried after him, dragging Baely behind her. 

 As soon as the door had slid shut, Pheniks said, “Wow. That was heartless, Zae.” 

 I shrugged—how else was I supposed to respond?—and this had Feena clicking her tongue. 

 “In case you haven’t noticed, Zae’s in mission mode,” she said. “He fell into it shortly after comforting Baely.” 

 “Which I don’t understand,” my father said. “How does someone go from catatonic because of a breakdown to-?” 

 He waved a hand over me, which I raised an eyebrow at. Really? I’d just had a brush with death, and that was the first thing he said to me?  

 My relatively limited change in expression must have unnerved my father because he shivered, which exhausted the minimal patience I had when with my parents. 

 “If I’ve scared you again, you could always leave,” I coolly said. “You’ve done it often enough before.” 

 Flinching, my father turned away from me, and I ignored the shock on my siblings’ faces, returning my attention to Talira. 

 “Will you give me what I need or not?” I asked. 

 Sighing, Talira deflated. 

 “The shukusenth want Sanya brought to us before we make a decision about her,” she said. “Her collaborator’s fates have been left in your hands, but as you track them down, you’ll have to keep in mind that they’ve been declared enemies of the state.” 

 Which would make my options for dealing with them limited. I could exile them, if I was feeling kind. Otherwise… 

 “Most of Cerullis’ members have scattered to the wind,” Talira continued. “They’re to be considered Sanya’s collaborators, but a central core of the House has stayed in Xygek. They claim that they had no knowledge of their shukusen’s machinations.” 

 Where had I heard that before? 

 “Do you believe them?” I asked. 

 Rolling her eyes, Talira said, “Hardly. Most of them were alive when Alezand drove Cerullis off the rails. I doubt they could be twice ignorant of something like this, but even still, I’ll leave them be, letting them operate with minimal oversight. They’re part of my plan to deal with their House.” 

 By the table, Pheniks shot upright in his seat. 

 “Deal with?” he said. “At the last assembly, we never decided how we’d handle Cerullis. You can’t make a move against them without our approval, Talira.” 

 Patting the air, Talira said, “And I’ll do that before starting something irreversible. Right now, I’m just getting my pieces into place.” 

 Mollified, Pheniks sank into his chair, and I cleared my throat. 

 “Anything else I should know?” I asked. 

 “Besides what’s in the files I’ll send you? No, there’s nothing else,” Talira said. “I still think you should rest another day, though.” 

 Sighing, I threw the sheets off of my legs. 

 “What would be the point?” I said. “I can rest while on route to my first target. That’s assuming you’ve already sent the lower Strata out scouting for me, of course.” 

 Which let’s be honest. She had, just like she’d known as soon as she’d stepped into this room that I’d be getting out of this bed within a quarter-hour. 

 That didn’t mean this was easy for me. No. While swinging my legs over the bed’s edge, I had to move in increments. Damn, this mission would be hell for me, in more than one way. 

 All the while, Feena straightened off of the wall. 

 “Wait. This mission’s parameters,” she said before spinning on Talira. “You’re sending him out to be an executioner!” 

 Mother Time, the outrage in her voice! It made me chuckle while the others in the room refused to look her way. 

 “Yes, sister mine, that’s part of the job at times,” I said. “Despite everything that Lutov might think, I am not a good man. Don’t you know this?” 

 “I-” 

 That was it from her, though. Hanging her head, Feena stared at the floor while I slowly changed. 

 Once I was ready, Talira said, “A skycruiser’s waiting for you on the roof, but your family’s probably on ground level. Will you stop to say goodbye.” 

 At that, I just laughed. Squaring my shoulder, I exited the room, ignoring every awful thing I was leaving behind me.

Addendum
I’ll skip a few months here. I honestly don’t have much to tell you about them. 

 When it came to my mission’s targets, I’ll just say that I wasn’t kind, but then, you’ll see that soon enough. I had a reason for everything that I did, just as I had one for getting so angry when Talira suggested that I rest, but I didn’t know what it was at the time. It was buried in my subconscious for a while. 

 I’d rather not talk about Damari, here or elsewhere. Even with it having happened long ago, it still hurts. 

 Now. This is your last chance to bail, my love. By the end of this segment, you will know the worst thing I’ve done in my life, and I… I don’t know what to think about that. 

 Even still, I’ll continue, hoping all the while that you’ll skip forward.

Chapter 68: This Is My Job 1
My current set of targets was playing it exceedingly safe, which had made hunting them down difficult. I’d been tracking them for almost a week, compared to the typical day or two that I’d needed since starting this mission. 

 Of course, the difficulty I was having with this group might be due to sleep deprivation. In the four months since an accumulation of radiation had nearly killed me, I’d slept for a couple of hours each night, crashing for longer spells when my body and mind had absolutely required it. 

 The lack of rest hadn’t been conducive for the healing process, I was aware. I was reminded of it every time I was left shivering for minutes at a time, but fortunately, instances of that had started falling off in the last month. 

 And of course, there was the other thing, but I didn’t want to think about that right now. 

 Given this, why was I pushing myself so hard? Why not spend some time catching up on my rest? 

 The reason for it was simple: the fickleness of the human mind. Any day now, I’d get a message from Talira where she’d order me to tackle another mission. The shukusenth would have decided to let my targets drift through Lutov, unaddressed, and I couldn’t let that happen. They were a clear and present danger to the homeland and my family. What if they used what they knew to create a new neurotoxin? Considering how difficult creating our current antidote had been, I wasn’t sure we could do it again. So, I’d scrambled to eliminate these people and the danger they presented, struggling to finish the mission before the shukusenth lost interest in it. 

 “That’s paranoid, LV, and you know it.” 

 Never looking away from the set of tracks I was following, I irritably waved at the vague outline of a person that was standing at the edge of my vision. They weren’t real, a hallucination produced by my sleep deprivation, but knowing that didn’t help me with ignoring them. Fortunately, they didn’t show up much, and when they did appear, they quickly vanished. 

 Today, they followed me as I moved along, and I was vaguely curious about why they were doing that, even as I batted said curiosity down. It was supremely unhelpful in my current circumstances. 

 Frowning, I stopped short, cocking my head at the set of tracks beneath my feet. Even muddled by the rain as they were, they were clearly leading into a copse of woods ahead, which would abandon the tendency this group had had of sticking to open ground. 

 I disliked inconsistencies like this. A change in a target’s behavior usually meant they were getting desperate, and desperate people did stupid things, especially after they’d been backed into a corner. Given that, would entering this copse be a trap? 

 “Paaaar-aa-noooid!” my hallucination sang. 

 If it was a trap, I was walking into it. I didn’t have time to continue tracking these targets, and besides, they would have to be extraordinarily lucky to hurt me, given the difference in our training.  

 And if they did manage that, it might be for the best. 

 Shaking myself, I shoved that thought into a box, one that was holding so many others like it, before palming a knife. I might be springing this trap, but I wouldn’t do it unprepared. 

 Taking a deep breath, I headed into the trees. They’d done a good job with this snare, if it was one. With the rain, my array was having a hard time with pinpointing possible targets, save for by heat signature, but several blobs of warmth here were confusing even that sensor. I wouldn’t know where my targets were coming from. 

 Shielding themselves like this was a precaution that, to my continual surprise, most fugitives didn’t take, but this wasn’t the first time I’d encountered it. I knew what to look for if I was to protect myself. So, when the attack came, I was already ducking. Several energy bolts—from standard pistols, most likely—and… had that been a weighted net? A net soared over my head. 

 Before those attacks had hit the ground or trees, I’d thrown my knife toward the source of one of them while drawing another weapon, and a moment later, something thumped into the soil. The second knife went flying while my rifle filled my waiting hand, and I raised it, squeezing the trigger without aiming. Then, I was off with House Kolb speed, taking four lengthened steps so I could grab the last man standing by the arm. When I twisted my hold, he hissed, releasing his pistol, and kicking at his legs, I forced him to his knees. 

 Maybe fourteen seconds had passed. 

 Slowly clapping, my hallucination said, “Impressive. I always knew I was right to fear you, LV, but here, I see why.” 

 And again, I ignored them. 

 The man in front of me had started blubbering, whispering pleas between his sobs, but again, this was nothing new. Fuck, I hated this next part. 

 “I don’t want to hurt you. You should know that,” I said, “but you have information that I need, and you’ll give it to me one way or the other.” 

 Closing my ears to the man’s frightened gasps, I scanned my surroundings, quickly locating what I needed. Then, I dragged my target to a depression in the earth where a shallow pool of water had collected. Crouching, I slapped the man, getting his attention, before grabbing his chin so he’d meet my eyes. 

 “Listen carefully,” I said. “For the next ten minutes, there is only one rule. You give me what I need, and I’ll stop. Do you understand?” 

 As usual, confusion clouded my target’s eyes. 

 “Ten minutes?” he asked. 

 Which had been expected. 

 “That’s how long I’ll need to break you,” I said. "I would prefer it if that proved unnecessary. Survival as an exile will be hard enough for you without a broken mind, but I will shatter you if need be. After all, I have this—” 

 I flashed a Puppeteer into view. 

 “—to get what I need if you do break. But you should have the chance to… volunteer information first, even if you’ll need some persuasion to do that. Violation of your array usually feels a hundred times worse than anything I can do to you. Trust me. It’s happened to me often enough that I should know.” 

 With tears pooling in his eyes, my target kept sniffing. It was a pathetic picture, all told, and I hated it. 

 “I didn’t do anything wrong,” he softly said. 

 Sighing, I hung my head for a moment before once more meeting his eyes. 

 “I know. Doesn’t change anything,” I said. “Now, where do I find the others? Where’s Sanya?” 

 After a beat of shock, my target screwed his face up into a brave expression that I’d come to know well. Damnit. 

 “I don’t-” he started. 

 I shoved his face into the pool of water. As I’d said, it was shallow, but that didn’t matter. People had drowned on less before. 

 The whole time, I watched him struggle, adjusting my hold as needed. This first part was critical. He needed to believe I’d let him choke on water, but I couldn’t hold him down for too long, or I wouldn’t have room to work with later. So, I watched his arms, straining to push him free, and felt how hard he wanted to thrash against me through my fingers in his hair. Through my knee in his back, I noted how much he was bucking to get away and hated my strength. Most of the time, it was only an asset but in this… 

 When my hallucination crouched opposite me, hugging their knees, it jerked my attention to them for a split second. 

 “Hell, you can be cruel,” they said. “I wish I’d known.” 

 A muffled yell yanked me back to my task, and pivoting off of my target, I hauled him upright. 

 While he gasped at precious air, I growled, “Tell me what I need to know. Where are the others? Where’s Sanya?” 

 For a moment, I was sure I’d done enough, but then, stubbornness crawled onto my target’s face, and I internally sighed. 

 “I don’t know-” he started. 

 I shoved him under again. 

 We went through a few more repeats of this. I held him down longer every time, but fortunately, my target gave up after six minutes or so, spewing every clue that he knew about the locations of other House Cerullis members. Once he was done, I put him in restraints before giving him space. He’d need time to recover before the next part, and I needed to make my report. 

 Talira would use this information to send House Kolb members scouting. They’d decipher how much of this information was true, giving me a winnowed list of results in a few days, and so, the search would continue. Again, this was nothing new, so mundane that it made my heart ache. 

 As I walked back to my target, my hallucination matched stride with me. 

 “What now?” they asked. 

 I didn’t answer because they should already know what I’d say. My mission directive left me with two options for handling this man: kill or exile him, and only one of those choices came anywhere close to acceptable for me. I’d take it, no matter how much I didn’t like it.

Chapter 69: This Is My Job 2
When I came back into view, my target was trying to escape, but of course he was. In his situation, who wouldn’t? The crunch of my feet in the twigs had him jerking his head my way, and when I started pulling what I’d need form my pockets, he burst into tears. This one was emotive. 

 “Please,” he sobbed. “You don’t have to do this.” 

 Saying not a word, I came closer before crouching so he could see what I was holding, although I quickly unfolded a map to hide everything else in my hands. 

 “You probably can’t read this, so I’ll do what I can to help,” I said before pointing to a spot on its surface. “This is where we are. I’ll mark it in red because red is bad. Red is danger.” 

 Flicking the cap off of my marker, I wiped away beaded water before placing an ‘x’ where I’d indicated. 

 “What color makes you feel safe?” I asked. 

 Gaping at me, my target flapped his mouth until I snapped my fingers in front of his eyes. 

 “Come on,” I said. “That secret can’t be nearly as important as everything else you’ve given me.” 

 A nervous giggle flew out of the man. 

 “Yellow,” he said. 

 Nodding, I traded my held marker for another one in my pocket before drawing a second ‘x’ on the map. 

 “This is Yanth. Small town at the mountain’s base,” I said. “It’s roughly 3.2 kilometers to the north-north-east. For reference, it’s that way.” 

 Plucking a knife from its sheath, I flung it to embed into a tree. 

 “Once you’ve recovered, head there. I’ve convinced the town’s residents to provide you with food and asylum for a couple of days. They’ll also give you the supplies you’ll need to reach the closest community of exiles, but you’ll be on your own after that,” I said. “Oh, and don’t worry about getting lost today. You only need to head toward town. If you haven’t reached it by nightfall, they’ll send out a search party.” 

 I offered my target the map, and after taking it, he licked his lips, flicking his eyes between me and what he was holding. 

 “Why would you…?” he asked. 

 Behind him, my hallucination cocked their head, seemingly curious for my answer as well. 

 “Because like you said, you did nothing wrong,” I said. “You will suffer for a crime that someone else committed, simply because of your connection to her. It’s the way the world works, and I am sorry for it. But I will do what I can to ease you into your new life.” 

 With his mouth left hanging open, my target seemed stunned, and I waited for him to collect himself, fairly certain of how the next part would play out. I’d been here a thousand times before, after all. 

 “You could… let me go,” he eventually said. “If you did, I’d never enter Lutovish society again. I’ll like as an exile! Just don’t take-” 

 He fell quiet as I placed something between us, and when I pulled my fingers away from it, his eyes widened. 

 “This is a gun from the old world. It operates like the pistol that’s tied to your array, but it has a meaner kickback, and it won’t disappear if you drop it,” I said. “House Kolb doesn’t have many of these. After the war with those from beyond the stars, most of them were melted down, so I’ve asked the residents of Yanth to take it from you when you arrive there. Please, don’t fight them about that. It wouldn’t be wise.” 

 I waited for my target to brush his fingers along the gun before continuing. 

 “I’m giving this to you for your protection and for that alone. Many wild animals live in these hills, and if one attacks you while you’re vulnerable, I don’t want you defenseless. If you use this gun for anything other than protecting yourself, it will be your choice. I won’t add it to my many misdeeds. Do you understand me?” 

 Swallowing hard, the man said, “I… do.” 

 “Good,” I said. “Then, we can get started.” 

 As I rose from my crouch, my target drew away from me. 

 “What? Wait, no!” he said. “Is this all you can…? I mean, can’t we talk about this?” 

 I couldn’t answer that question, so I took the only course of action available to me instead. With my array blocking signals from my audial nerves, the world went silent. I had no need to hear my target’s pleas. I’d heard them all before. 

 As I stopped behind my target, my hallucination faced me on the other side. 

 “Is this really necessary?” they asked. 

 Without a word, I gently forced my target’s head forward, placing an Extractor against the back of his neck, and pushed the button to start its inbuilt process. Then, I looked down. 

 Although I’d long since given myself a break from listening to my victims’ screams—I had enough memories of that to fill a lifetime, thank you—I always forced myself to watch what happened when I took someone’s array. The reasons I did this were varied. Some of it was so I could punish myself, although I was also careful about helping the one who was suffering, if I could. 

 But most of it was because I knew that unless my circumstances changed or death caught me unaware, I’d eventually find myself kneeling in this man’s place. To date, only a great deal of luck and an abundance of caution had kept me from it. 

 After all, the shukusenth wouldn’t like learning how little loyalty I held toward their precious Houses. Among them, Talira knew, and only our tenuous, familial link and the excellent services that I provided for her had kept her mouth shut. 

 Who knew how long that would last, though? When the truth came out, I intended to incite the greatest manhunt that Lutov had ever seen, prolonging it for as long as possible, but I’d never had any doubt about how it would end and when it did… 

 This was why when my target went rigid, I sank to the ground, circling my arms around him, and whispered empty reassurances in his ear. Yes, I was the one who was doing this to him. Yes, according to reports, he was in so much pain that he wouldn’t register what I was doing, but I couldn’t stop myself. When it was my turn to endure this torture, this was what I wanted: one of the most primal forms of human connection, and I wouldn’t give a damn who it came from. I’d be grateful for the smallest sign that compassion existed. 

 Soon enough, my target was left hanging in my arms, sightlessly staring at the ground while ragged gasps shook his frame, and after laying him on his side, I removed the restraints on him. As I placed the map and gun within easy reach, I let the signals from my audial nerves resume their race for my brain, and with pattering rain as my background music, I left the copse of trees. 

 I wished I could do more for that man, but I had neither the time nor the supplies needed for such a task. Instead, I sent messages to all nearby lower Strata, asking them to check the area in a few hours. They could retrieve anything that man had left behind or if he was still there, help as they saw fit. 

 “So, that’s it?” my hallucination asked. “I’m so confused. What you did in there… it doesn’t match the man I knew.” 

 I wasn’t sure why they were still here. Usually, after making a few quips, they vanished, popping up again a day or two later. At least, that was how it had been for the last four months. Sticking around wasn’t their style, and it made me wonder if perhaps they were something more than just a hallucination- 

 As if to stop that thought, a distinctive bang rattled through the mountains, and with my breath catching, I stopped short, closing my eyes. Damn it all. Mother Time, damn it all, why-? 

 “Why would he do that?” my hallucination whispered into a deafening silence. 

 Why did they always do that? 

 Because as I’d said a lot today, this was nothing new. It was, in fact, heartbreakingly familiar, and I wanted to scream at that man and my hallucination and all of my past victims, almost as much as I wanted to hurt myself right now. Hell, I could feel steel in my hand and a sharp edge on my arm, but I couldn’t indulge that need because I’d made a promise. 

 “I made a promise,” I repeated to myself. 

 So, instead of doing as I’d like, I took a deep breath and opened my eyes, only to be greeted by my hallucination’s tear-streaked face. 

 “How could you do this?” they said. “You gave him that gun. You had to know…” 

 When they fell silent, staring at me, I crossed my arms with a sigh. 

 “Killing him was the best way to keep Lutov safe. We already have an excess of angry exiled, running wild across the homeland, and swelling their ranks with former Cerullis members is a terrible idea, an uprising in the making,” I said, “but I can’t bring myself to kill so many people, not in such a short time span at least. Besides that, I’ve always fought to get out of eliminating my targets, giving them every chance to escape their fates. That’s what I did here. And sure! Maybe that struggle only amounts to a manipulative play on my victims’ emotions but honestly? After so long doing this, I truly do not give a shit anymore.” 

 I shrugged while my hallucination slowly shook their head. 

 “Who are you?” they said with their throat working. 

 Biting my lip, I looked away before extending one hand to the side. 

 “I’m Zaeden, the man you knew,” I said before reaching out with the other hand, “but I’m also the Lokke Vitras.” 

 I let my hands slap to my thighs, straining to hear their response, but when I got only silence, I jerked my head toward them, seeing red. 

 “Look. This is my job, Damari,” I shouted. “You never saw it because I hid it from you, but this is what I do every fucking day, and I. HATE . it!” 

 My roar ripped away from me and down the mountain’s slope, and with it went the red haze that had been coating my vision. As it receded, I slumped, rubbing my eyes. 

 “I never wanted you to know,” I told my vanished hallucination. “I never wanted you to look at me like that.” 

 Pulling my hands away, I stared at their palms while a pair of tears pattered on my skin. 

 “Hell, I need sleep,” I said. 

 And maybe I’d get it today. First, though, I needed to reach a place of safety. 

 Descending to sea level took a little over an hour, but soon enough, I reached a road that led to the Eastern Reaches. I’d left my skycruiser there, picking up my targets’ trail from that point, and once I was in it again, I could rest while it took me elsewhere. 

 Unfortunately, two people were standing beside it with one of them perched on its tapered nose while the other one leaned against its door. 

 “Fuck,” I muttered. 

 Because I couldn’t avoid these people, not this time. They were guarding my means of escape too well, and with them having spotted me already, I couldn’t outrun them. It was time to face the music. 

 With trudging feet, I headed to my skycruiser so I could greet my partners.

Chapter 70: A Family Intervention
Korix and Leski looked… I didn’t know how to describe how they looked. I couldn’t focus on their facial expressions because as I came closer, all I could see was them . 

 It had been four months since we’d last been together. Besides a single message to let them know that I was ok, I hadn’t contacted them since starting this mission. They’d certainly reached out, but I hadn’t had the energy to look through what they’d sent me. 

 So, it had been four months, and it didn’t matter that they were surely upset with me. It didn’t matter how tired I was or what I’d just left behind. I badly needed to throw myself at them, losing myself in the only two people who might understand. 

 Instead, I stopped at the edge of the road. 

 “How did you find me?” I asked. 

 Probably not the best place to start, but if there was a breach in my security, I needed to know about it. 

 On the skycruiser’s nose, Leski winced, pulling in on herself, so I switched my focus to Korix. Based on that reaction, my wife hadn’t been involved with locating me, along for the ride instead. 

 Straightening from his lean against the skycruiser, my life partner lowered his arms, just looking at me, but then, he sprinted my way. He was moving so fast that he blurred—shit, House Kolb speed—and I barely had time to dodge. Still, his blow glanced along the plane of my chest, imparting enough force to sway me in place, and as I recovered from it, I grabbed his extended arm, yanking on it to pull him off-balance. 

 He toppled—that had been easier than expected—but before I could pin him, he’d rolled to his hands and knees so he could launch himself at my legs. Clicking my tongue, I let him do it, falling in a controlled manner, just as I let him straddle my waist. When he went to pin my arms, though, he found one of them already raised with my rifle’s muzzle hovering in front of his face. 

 “I don’t have time for this,” I hissed. “Stop assessing my condition so we can get this conversation over with. I need to get back to work.” 

 With his face souring, Korix knocked the rifle away— 

 Why would he do that? It was unnecessarily dangerous. Why-? 

 —before lunging forward to press his lips to mine. I was frozen, lying motionless on the road, until he pulled away by the barest of slivers, clutching my cheeks. 

 “You,” he said, “are being extraordinarily foolish. In all of our years together, I never thought I’d see you acting like such an idiot. Stop it.” 

 Frowning, I ran through ways to handle this, looking for one that would satisfy him, but my tired brain only provided me with one reply. 

 “Get off of me, please,” I said in monotone. “If you’re done berating me, that is.” 

 With a sigh, Korix straightened, shaking his head before climbing to his feet. He offered me a hand, one that I ignored. Instead, once I was upright, I walked to the skycruiser and got into it. 

 I wasn’t too worried about getting Leski of its nose. If I knew her, she’d move without that persuasion, and sure enough, she slid to the ground while I was feeding coordinates into the skycruiser’s console. Before I could take off, however, a back door opened, and my partners got in. Glancing at them, I rolled my eyes before focusing on the road once more. 

 “You’ve proven your point. You’re worried. I get it,” I said. “I hope I’ve proven my point in that I’m fine. Now, I have work to do, so please. Get out. You can’t come with me.” 

 “Why not?” Leski said. 

 In my mind’s eye, I saw her jutting her chin out, and it almost made me smile. 

 “Because I said so,” I said. “That should be enough.” 

 I certainly wouldn’t tell them the other reasons I wanted them far away from me right now. 

 “Get out, please. I’d rather not force the issue.” 

 After a moment of tense silence, Korix said, “I told you this would be hard, love. He’s-” 

 “Don’t presume to understand my mental state, Korix,” I icily said. “I don’t know what your biggest fuck up as the Lokke Vitras was, but just because you’ve dealt with something similar doesn’t mean you can understand. Not fully.” 

 There was another pause, one where Korix sighed, and my tension skyrocketed. 

 “When was the last time you slept?” he eventually asked. 

 Wha…? 

 “What’s that got to do with anything?” I snapped. 

 On the heel of my words, Leksi growled, “Just answer the damn question.” 

 Wow, she’d sounded murderous, not that I could blame her. I was aware that I’d been acting like an ass, both recently and over the last few months, but I’d done it for a reason. I wished they could see that. 

 “I got some sleep the night before last,” I said with tight lips. 

 Clicking her tongue, Leski said, “Of course you did.” 

 “And food?” Korix asked. “When did you last eat?” 

 What was this? Twenty questions? Did they think they were my mother? 

 Then again, my mother would never have acted this concerned about me, even when I’d been unHoused. After I’d been old enough to walk and talk, keeping myself fed and alive had mostly been my own job. 

 “I’ve been running low on supplies, so my last caloric intake was a couple of days ago, but I was planning on resupplying today,” I said, “and in case you were curious, my bladder and bowels are working properly too, but I haven’t had sex in months. Haven’t had the time or desire for it.” 

 If Leski or Korix had noticed the sarcasm laced into my voice, they didn’t comment on it. What I’d said did, however, prompt something I’d been waiting for since getting into the skycruiser. The air above the seat at my side shimmered, and I watched without surprise as my daughter peeled a camouflage disk off of the back of their neck.  

 With their parents here, I’d known they wouldn’t be far away. In a time of such crisis, Korix and Leski wouldn’t have let them out of their sight. 

 Tossing the disk at my chest, Baely shoved a finger in my face. 

 “You are an idiot,” she snarled. 

 Grabbing her hand, I laid it on the divider between us. 

 “Your father said something similar a few minutes ago,” I said. 

 “Then, why won’t you listen to him?” Baely hissed while strangling the air. “You have to take care of your body, per . It’s the only one you’ll get, and- and who knows how much it can take? If you’d entered the Tainted Lands like this, then- then you’d…” 

 Mother Time, I had so many things I wanted to say to them. 

 I wanted to ask how they were doing after the unexpected loss of their godparent, although I couldn’t focus on that topic for long. 

 I wanted to know how their House naming ceremony had gone. If they were satisfied with choosing Kolb. If they missed their friends from House rotations who’d chosen differently. 

 I so badly wanted to apologize for missing it, even if at the time, I’d made sure to congratulate them for their entrance into Lutovish society. Hopefully, once this crisis was over, I could do something more for them. 

 I wanted to ask if they were happy with their current gender presentation and if they’d like to ask Maikle, who was in charge of my full body transitions, how to make any small modifications that they might want. 

 I wanted to know if they were safe and happy, although I was pretty sure I knew the answer to that already. 

 As their parent, though, I had to think only of their wellbeing and not what I needed to satisfy mine. 

 “You’re right, and I know it,” I said with a crooked smile. “Don’t worry, sweetie. I know how to take care of myself.” 

 “Liar!” Baely cut in with a snarl. 

 As I swayed back from the fierceness blazing from her, Leski leaned forward to lay a hand on our daughter’s arm. 

 “He’s not lying. Your father will never lie to you unless he must,” she said before meeting my eyes, “but he will manipulate the truth or leave things out of his stories. So, yes. He knows how to take care of himself, but that doesn’t mean he’ll do it.” 

 “I know,” Baely said with a hiccup. 

 Behind their mother, they scrubbed at wet eyes with the heel of their palm, and my heart clenched. 

 “I love you, Baely,” I said, “and I’m so sorry. I wish I could make it better but-” 

 “Then, let us stay with you,” Baely interrupted. “If you want to make it better, let us help you, and stop ignoring us. You have no idea how many times I’ve seen mom crying on dad’s shoulder or stumbled onto dad staring into nothing because you won’t answer their damn messages. I know that things are hard right now and you’re in a lot of pain, per, but seriously? You can’t take the time to let us know you’re alive? If you’re that busy, then you need help, and in all of Lutov, we’re the only ones who can provide you with what you need. No one else can see you cry without freaking out.” 

 She inclined her head toward me, and I touched my cheek to intercept the tear that was racing down it. Jerking forward, I clenched my hands in my lap. My daughter was wise beyond their years, which made me proud, and I should do as they’d asked. 

 Was this what the ii in Kalaski had been talking about with his warning, so many months ago? Whether it had been or not, I couldn’t listen to Baely for one very good reason, something I could never tell her about. 

 Clearing my throat, I said, “Please, get out. I’ve heard what you’ve said, and I will take better care of myself. But you can’t come with me, not for this mission.” 

 Hell, this silence was heavy, and when someone shifted in their seat, I winced, expecting to encounter a potent picture of their disappointment. Instead, Korix squeezed my shoulder. 

 “Please, Zae,” he said. 

 And a message popped into my array. Knowing that it could only be from him, I opened it. 

 I remember what being in your position is like, you who I can never love. You don’t have to shield me, and I can protect them, it read. I can be the barrier between them and every sordid thing that you might have to do. 

 Slowly breathing out, I let myself relax. Because the concern that Korix had addressed? That was why I couldn’t have them with me. As with my hallucination, I couldn’t show them the dark side of the Lokke Vitras, but my life partner was right. Not only had he already seen the truth of it, but if anyone could keep the girls away from it, it was him. 

 And I truly, truly could use their help. 

 So, I touched my hand to the skycruiser’s console to prompt the beginning of our journey, leaning my chair back as we lifted into the air. 

 “I’m taking a nap,” I said. “Don’t wake me up unless it’s an emergency.” 

 None of them said a word. Instead, Korix hung his arms around my neck, resting his chin on my shoulder, while Leski ran her fingers through my hair. Her soft voice mixed with Baely’s as I drifted into the first spot of untroubled sleep that I’d had in months.

Chapter 71: Their Traitors, Our New Allies
Something unexpected dragged me out of my dreams, but then, dealing with the unexpected had become my new normal lately. Ignoring my family’s disapproving stares, I sat up, doing my best to shuck the exhaustion that was screaming protests throughout my body, and frowned at the connection request flashing in my array. 

 How had this woken me up? It had none of the typical danger signals that I’d been trained to subconsciously notice, the ones that roused me from sleep, attached to it, although I supposed the soft dinging that the connection request was making might have something to do with it. 

 I didn’t know who was requesting the connection. In fact, the request had been passed through so many proxies that establishing their identity would be difficult, definitely more trouble than it was worth. So, the question was: did I accept the request or ignore it? 

 Meeting my family's eyes, I said, “Stay silent, please.” 

 Then, I accepted the request. 

 “Who is this?” I snapped. 

 Requesting a direct connection while hiding one’s identity was considered rude in Lutov. 

 “Zaeden? Is that you?” 

 I knew that tremulous voice. I’d hoped to avoid running into the woman it belonged to for a long while yet. 

 “Calia,” I said. 

 Behind me, Leski gasped while someone shifted in place, but that was to be expected. So long as everyone was comfortable with it, I’d shared my romantic activities with my partners. They knew that I’d dated Calia. They also knew she was House Cerullis, although I wasn’t sure if they knew she’d run from Xygek four months ago. 

 “It is you!” Calia said. “Thank Mother Time! We weren’t sure if I’d get ahold of you.” 

 …And why would she want that? Didn’t she know what I’d been doing to people like her?  

 If she did, she also had to know that requesting a connection like this was risky. I’d already started tracing it in the hopes of locating her. 

 I couldn’t say any of that, though. Instead, I asked her. 

 “We?” 

 “Me and some friends,” Calia said. “If possible, we’d like to arrange a meeting. We have some valuable information for you and would like to make a deal for it.” 

 Ah… that made sense. Bargaining. I’d been wondering when this would begin in truth. 

 “Where should I meet you?” I asked. 

 Because going along with something like this was always in my best interest at first. Either what these people had to offer would outweigh their danger to Lutov, letting me grant them mercy, or they’d leave a clue as to where they’d been hiding. 

 Calia stammered for a bit, probably surprised that she wouldn’t have to do more to convince me, but she got herself under control soon enough. 

 “I’ll send you the coordinates,” she said. “We’ll meet at mid-afternoon.” 

 “So you know, I have backup with me right now,” I said. 

 Best not to spook her or her friends, and hopefully, she’d hear the question in what I’d said. 

 After a pause, she said, “You can bring one with you. I’ll see you soon, Zaeden.” 

 She cut the connection, and wincing, I rubbed my face, waiting for the coordinates. Hell, this would be hard. 

 “Calia wants to negotiate?” Korix said. 

 I nodded, even if I wasn’t sure if he could see it. I couldn’t bring myself to speak right now. 

 “That’s not a good idea, love,” Leski eventually said. 

 Sighing, I said, “I know.” 

 Then, the coordinates came in via a message, and I frowned. The location they were indicating was in the middle of the Preserve. How had a bunch of fugitives gained access to such a highly guarded area?  

 That was a question for another time. After feeding coordinates into the console, I once more collapsed in my seat and quickly fell asleep, despite the tense atmosphere around me. That tension had yet to relax when we arrived, although my family seemed a little shocked about the patch of land we’d stopped above. 

 “We’re here?” Baely asked as we set down. 

 Ignoring the doubt in their voice, I nodded while running through a check of my weapons. I sincerely hoped that this meeting wouldn’t turn into a fight, but still, I had to prepare for one, even if I did it in a way that my daughter could overlook. 

 I needn’t have worried about that. As we left the skycruiser, Baely gaped at her surroundings, not that I could blame her for it. The Preserve was breathtaking, an otherworldly place of nature. Even after a century of having it open to me, something about it always stole my voice, if only for a moment. 

 Clearing my throat, I drew my family’s attention to me, for the most part. 

 “Leski, stay here with Baely, please,” I said. “I’m allowed one companion for this, and it’s only going to be a talk. Little to no chance for danger. You should take advantage of such a rare chance to enjoy the Preserve. The two of us who’ve visited it before can take care of this chore.” 

 While Leski’s face went sour, Baely looked torn, and I knew they were weighing this opportunity against the chance that her dads might get hurt. So, catching her eye, I smirked. 

 “We’ve got this, sweetie,” I said, “and even if we don’t, you and your mother won’t be far away. I’ll message you for backup the second I see something suspicious. Ok?” 

 Slowly nodding, Baely said, “Ok.” 

 When I glanced at Leski, she huffed while shooing me away, and I blew her a kiss. Her answering groan chased me into the trees. 

 Walking through the Preserve was both unnerving and awe-inspiring, but then, that was what every forest was like for me. What else could it be? In a forest, enemies and monsters had so much cover to take advantage of, making it easier for them to sneak up on me. I had to be constantly on alert. 

 At the same time, who wouldn’t be made breathless when surrounded by so much untamed nature? The forests of Ibis and anything similar found in the Barasgami Mountains also had their charm, to be sure, but they almost always had civilization impinging on them. Here, nothing unnatural existed with none of humanity’s noise to mar it. 

 Or that was how it was until I heard a quiet conversation ahead. Thank Mother Time, I didn’t have to alert Korix to the noise. He’d already slowed his stride, softening his footfalls as we approached. 

 Because of that and my own efforts, the other group didn’t detect us when we came into view, but that was what we’d wanted. When entering a negotiation, starting with the other party flustered was always best. 

 Two women, a man, and an individual of indeterminate gender were waiting for us in the clearing. For a moment, I watched them talk amongst themselves, noting their drawn-together shoulders and tense postures, before clearing my throat. As one, they spun on me with some clutching their chests, and I refused to examine what Calia’s brief look of terror did to me. 

 “Apologies for startling you,” I said with a rueful smile. “It wasn’t my intent.” 

 At the lie, my heart twinged, and it took me a second to realize why. I’d always hated lying to the people who were closest to me. 

 After collecting herself, Calia strode forward to hug me. 

 “Zaeden!” she said, pulling away. “Appearing from out of nowhere is just like you.” 

 With one corner of my smile rising higher, I said, “Indeed. Good to see you, Calia. Care to introduce me to your friends?” 

 Mischievously grinning, Calia skipped backward with her hands clasped behind her. 

 “No. I don’t think they’d like it,” she said. “Besides, I doubt you’ll introduce me to your companion.” 

 Raising an eyebrow, I said, “I didn’t think he’d need an introduction.” 

 Snorting a laugh, Calia slapped a hand to her mouth while her comrades exchanged glances. 

 “That’s true, I suppose,” she said before bowing to Korix. “All honor to our once shield and protector.” 

 Beside me, Korix said nothing, just watching Calia as she rose from her bow, and I wondered what he was thinking. Did he disapprove of how casual she’d been with me, despairing of the circumstances that had made her lose her fear of the Lokke Vitras? Was he uncomfortable with her subsequent deference to him? Or was he satisfied that at least one of us was getting the respect that was ‘due’ us? 

 “Calia, get on with it,” one of the women hissed. “I don’t like this.” 

 “Right!”  

 Clapping her hands, Calia held them in front of her face. 

 “My friends and I want to make a deal,” she said. 

 But that was all. She wasn’t well-versed in how negotiations went, and for some reason, her innocence paralyzed me. I’d be stuck here for far too long, staring at her while aching inside, before finding the strength to continue. 

 Fortunately, Korix saw this. He stepped closer to my side, and while he couldn’t offer me comfort right now, I could still feel his intention to squeeze my shoulder or interlace his fingers with mine. It was enough. 

 “What is it that you want?” he asked for me. 

 And hell, if I didn’t want to hug him for it. 

 The shocked expression that Calia had assumed when he’d moved slipped into confusion. 

 “Sorry, I thought that was obvious,” she said. “We don’t want to die, of course, but we also want to keep our arrays. In other words, we want you to spare us from your hunt, great Lokke Vitras.” 

 She dipped into a quick bow toward me, which made me cringe, but I kept it off of my face. 

 “However, my friends and I realize that we could never be reintegrated into Lutovish society, not after the damage that’s been done,” Calia continued. “We’d like to set up a commune on one of the isles off of Lutov’s east coast. It would be nice if the shukusenth, in all of their great wisdom, would grant us the supplies that we’d need to get our feet under us as well, but after we’re stable, we’d cut contact with the homeland, if required. That’s it, though! Mercy and a way to survive is what we’re asking for.” 

 A commune? Calia must have more friends than the people here. I’d like to ask her about that, but I doubted she’d answer the question. 

 Also, Mother Time… she was so obviously new to this that it was painful. Instead of making demands, she’d asked for what she wanted in the politest of manners, and hell, I wanted to rub my eyes or pinch my nose or in general, show how weary this interaction was making me of my damn life. How had I gotten into such a hostile situation with someone so innocent, someone I’d once dated? 

 Instead, I smiled and cocked my head. 

 “My, that’s quite the list of demands. You’re asking a lot from Lutov,” I said, “and what do we get in return?” 

 For some reason, this question made the fugitives uncomfortable, although really, they should have expected it. In this sort of negotiation, one didn’t walk away with everything one wanted without giving something in return. 

 “We can provide you with the precise locations of the people you seek as well as the coordinates to the safehouses that Cerullis has established over the years,” the man among them soon said. “If you’re lucky, you might even find our shukusen in one of them.” 

 Sanya… 

 Ignoring the stiffening of Korix’s form, I considered these people’s offer. Accepting it would be good for me. Mother Time knew how badly I needed this hunt to be over with, and the information these four had offered would shorten it by a significant amount. 

 I wasn’t sure if it was enough to warrant the concessions they’d requested, though. What would Lutov gain from this? A quicker resolution to a threat and a more swiftly recovered Lokke Vitras, neither of which should be scoffed at. Not at all. But would it be worth the establishment of an independent, sovereign state so close to the homeland, one whose origin would be steeped in hostility toward us? 

 On consideration, I didn’t think it would be. No. The better solution for now would be to keep from committing to anything until the end of this meeting. After it was over, I could track these four to their friends, and once there, I’d do what I must before continuing with the hunt. 

 I saw the hope on Calia’s face, though, and it tore at me. It made me want to blow a hole in my face, so I hesitated, scrambling for a compromise between these extremes, which seemed fitting. That was what typically resulted from negotiations, right? A compromise? 

 Almost, I broke down into uncontrollable snickering, only stopped by Korix clearing his throat. 

 “You’ve proposed a complicated and significant exchange,” he said before turning my way. “If the Lokke Vitras is amenable, I’d like to share my opinion about it.” 

 Irritably, I waved for him to continue. Even understanding its necessity, I hated it when he conformed to the formality that almost everyone in Lutov showed me. 

 “With the greatest of respect, I’d suggest that some among our representatives accompany me to the capital. There, they can present their proposal to the assembly, where the shukusenth who lead us can decide on it,” Korix said. “In exchange for such an opportunity, these representatives will provide us with a small taste of the information that they’re offering, giving the Lokke Vitras a chance to verify it. In this way, we can test the waters of this arrangement.” 

 Oh… I wanted to glare at him. It was a good compromise, one where both parties would be pleased and disappointed with the results, but there was one problem with it. 

 Accompany YOU? I sent to Korix via a message. What happened to helping me keep Leski and Baely away from the worst parts of this job? 

 Before he could reply, one of the women opposite us crossed her arms. 

 “I don’t like this idea,” she said. 

 Calia never moved her narrow-eyed stare away from Korix. 

 “I think that’s the point,” she said. “A moment so we can consult?” 

 When I inclined my head, she turned to her companions so they could huddle together, and I pointedly did not grab Korix’s elbow so I could drag him into the trees. 

 “What the fuck?” I hissed from the corner of my mouth. 

 Shifting in place, Korix sighed. 

 “This is your best resolution to the negotiation, and you know it,” he said. “As for me accompanying them to Xygek, they’ll need my protection if they’re to reach the shukusenth without hassle, and you need someone you trust to watch them while they’re there. All of which you know.” 

 “Yes,” I hissed. “I’m a little unclear as to why you have to go with them instead of Leski and Baely. They could play escort just as easily as you.” 

 Korix was silent for a moment, all while Calia and her friends kept glancing over their shoulder. 

 I didn’t know what was stopping them from accepting his plan. Yes, it would be dangerous for them. Yes, it would demand a heavy price, but for people in their situation, the ability to address the shukusenth wasn’t to be taken lightly. Unlike me, whose sole purpose was to protect Lutov, the shukusenth were concerned with guiding the homeland as a whole. They were usually willing to take risks, ones that I’d never consider. 

 “I have something personal to discuss with Talira,” Korix said, “something I have to do face-to-face.” 

 Sucking in a breath, I snapped my head toward him. As a general rule, Korix didn’t go near Talira. From what I could tell, he didn’t hate her, no matter that he had every right to, but he still preferred to avoid her, and now, he wanted to speak with her in person? 

 “Can I ask what it’s about?” I said. 

 Facing me with his lips drawn thin, Korix said, “I’d rather if you didn’t. But I promise you that it won’t endanger Lutov, and it shouldn’t take long. I’d be surprised if you couldn’t shield our girls for the short time I’ll need to get back.” 

 As I searched his face, I knew he was telling the truth, or the truth as he knew it at least, and seeing that, I released a slow breath. 

 “Ok,” I said. “That might not matter if Calia and her friends don’t agree to your terms, though.” 

 They’d been arguing this whole time, but soon enough, their huddle broke apart, and Calia headed toward me with a disgruntled expression on her face. 

 “All right. We accept. I’ve already sent you a message with the coordinates to the first four safehouses,” she said before turning to Korix. “How are we getting to the capital?” 

 With a neutral smile in place, Korix said, “We’ll work that out after the Lokke Vitras has left. Let’s not waste his time.” 

 He glanced at me. 

 “Do you have what you need?” 

 Having already opened Calia’s message, I nodded. 

 “It’s sufficient for the moment, yes,” I said. “Calia, I wish you and your friends luck in the capital, and… I’m sorry that it’s come to this.” 

 With her gaze turning soft, Calia sadly smiled. 

 “Me too. It was good to see you, despite the circumstances,” she said. “I’d wish you luck too, but considering what you’re off to do…” 

 When she vaguely waved, I crushed a wry grin before it could spread across my face. It wouldn’t be appropriate right now. 

 Tilting my head in acknowledgment, I said, “Then, there’s nothing more to say.” 

 With that, I was off into the trees, putting as much distance between us as I could, and as expected, a message slid into my array before I’d gotten far. 

 I can never love you, Zae, it read. Everything will be ok. Eventually. 

 Snorting, I sent my reply before swiping the message away. Korix was right, I knew. Time might not heal all wounds, but it certainly lessened their severity, and with that, life could return to something resembling normalcy, no matter how much work that might take. 

 I wasn’t there yet, though. Right now, I was in the middle of the storm, and I had to plunge into a conflict that might turn into a slaughter. I hoped that I could keep my wife and daughter out of it.

Chapter 72: Tying Off a Loose End
Before investigating Calia’s safehouses, I had to finish my hunt for the targets I’d been trailing when she’s requested the meeting. I was so completely focused on that task, one might say deliberately so, that I almost forgot the other chore I’d have to complete first. 

 As I rejoined her at the skycruiser, Leski asked, “Where’s Ko?” 

 Shit. 

 “Escorting some people to Xygek. It was part of the agreement we came to,” I said. “Apparently, he has some personal business to attend to in the capital, but once that’s done, he’ll meet up with us, wherever we happen to be. In the meantime, I have a job to do. Will you be coming along, or would you rather go with him?” 

 Snorting, Leski said, “Goodness, Zae. If I didn’t know better, I’d say you were trying to get rid of us, but that can’t be right. You agreed that we could accompany you for a time, even if it was done nonverbally.” 

 Sighing, I shook my head. She always got so smug after she’d trapped me with my own words or actions. 

 “I’m just presenting you with your options,” I said. “If you’ve coming with me, you should get in the skycruiser. I wish you could spend more time in this amazing place, but we have somewhere to be.” 

 I followed my own instructions, and after a moment, Baely and Leski joined me. Reaching over, my daughter wrapped me in an awkward hug. 

 “Thank you, per,” she said. “I never thought I’d see the Preserve outside of a sanctioned trip. Somehow, it’s more beautiful this way.” 

 Pinning a smile in place, I patted one of her hands on me. 

 “I’m glad you got to experience it,” I said. 

 At least one good thing could come out of this pit stop. 

 With a happy hum, Baely slumped into their seat, and after I'd gotten us in the air, Leski lowered the divider between us to lean against me. For a while, she just snuggled into my side, but eventually, Baely got distracted by something, freeing my wife’s tongue. 

 “How bad will this next part be?” she asked. 

 Sighing, I said, “Well, love, I’m in the process of tracking traitors down, and once I’ve found them, I’ll have to see what they know about their comrades before exiling or killing them. How bad do you think it’ll be?” 

 “Great,” Leski said under her breath. 

 I thought that might be it until she tilted her head up to meet my eyes. 

 “How are we handling Baely, then?” she asked. “When it comes to how dangerous this mission could be, I was planning on staying with her, far from any conflicts we ran into.” 

 “I can hear you, you know,” Baely said on the heel of those words. 

 Wincing, Leski pulled away from me to apologize, and I took the chance to get more settled. It was good to know that my partners had been thinking about our daughter’s wellbeing when they’d insisted on accompanying me. Really, I’d expected no less of them, but hearing proof of it was nice too, even if I was mystified by Leski asking how we’d keep Baely safe now. The answer seemed obvious to me. 

 When she turned back to me, I said, “There’s a village near my destination. I’ll drop the two of you off before doing what I must. I’ll pick you up once I’m done, and we can go from there.” 

 Leski immediately scowled at me, but I’d expected that. Despite it being the most sensible path, she’d never enjoyed getting left out, especially after I’d promised her otherwise. 

 She drew her mouth into a thin line, and I braced for a lecture. 

 “No.” 

 With nothing else, she faced forward, leaving me frowning. 

 “No…?” I drawled, raising an eyebrow. 

 There had to be more. 

 “You heard me,” Leski said in a clipped voice. “No. You’re not abandoning me at the first opportunity. No. You’re not running off to handle something that stressful alone. I agree that our daughter should be our backup, and don’t you dare protest, sweetie. You don’t have the training that you’ll need to handle everything that your father’s work entails, but you can watch our escape route for us, and you can be ready to patch us up if something goes wrong.” 

 Raising her hands, Baely said, “You won’t hear me arguing. Despite how protective you two are, you don’t smother me with it.” 

 Again. My daughter was wise beyond her years.  

 I refused to consider the level of my wife’s wisdom. Not now. I also couldn’t argue with her, though. 

 Silently, I leaned back, intending to get more sleep, but Leski didn’t let me, leaning over me with a snarl. 

 “If you trick me into staying with Baely, I might never forgive you,” she said. 

 Sighing, I flicked my eyes to the side, unable to hold her gaze. 

 “Maybe,” I said. “If you come with me, though, you’ll definitely never forgive me.” 

 “Why don’t you let me decide that for myself?” Leski snapped. 

 I wouldn’t change her mind. I knew that tone. She was adamant about coming with me, and I didn’t want to decide if and how I’d abandon her with Baely. Fortunately, I didn’t have to tackle that conundrum yet. 

 “We’ll discuss it once we reach our destination,” I said. 

 Without waiting for her response, I started a dream sequence.  

 Despite what the name implied, dream sequences weren’t supposed to induce dreams, merely sleep, and yet, I found myself trapped in a nightmare. I was running from something horrific, but I didn’t know what it was, and I couldn’t afford to check. All I knew was the terror that was lapping at the walls of my mind. 

 Fortunately, this quickly ended. We hadn’t been far from our destination, after all. The skycruiser landed in the middle of a town with some of its residents already stepping outside, and behind me, Baely leaned forward to hug my neck. 

 “I’ll explain things,” she said. 

 Kissing my cheek, she shuffled out of the skycruiser before flouncing toward the first set of people heading toward us. I turned to Leski, meaning to once more argue with her, but the look on her face stopped me dead. 

 Hell, she looked murderous. Changing her mind would be close to impossible, as would giving her the slip. I knew my wife’s capabilities. She’d make me spend far too much time on losing her, time that I’d need to track my targets. 

 Knowing this, I looked at my situation logically, and I knew that I should bring her with me, but all of me decried this realization. Once she saw me as only the Lokke Vitras, doing one of the worst tasks required by my role, she’d never look at me the same way. 

 She’d forgive me for it. Maybe. But whatever milder image she might hold of me would be shattered forever, and I didn’t want that. 

 So, I wouldn’t let it happen. I could manipulate the situation so that at its end, she saw it in the right light. That was a key piece of what I did. Wasn’t it? 

 “You do exactly as I say when I say it. You keep your opinions about how I’m handling the targets to yourself until after the mission’s over, and you stay in mission mode the entire time,” I said. “You promise to do these things, and you can come with me.” 

 Leski must have understood how serious I was about this because she nodded instead of making a quip, like she normally would. 

 “I promise,” she said. 

 “Then, let’s get started.” 

 By the time Leski and I had gotten out of the skycruiser, a small crowd had surrounded Baely. As individuals noticed me coming toward them, their excited conversation cut off in spurts. 

 Once I was close enough, I quickly identified this town’s leader. Lutov’s far-flung towns, the places where most of the middle and low Strata lived, operate largely outside of the Houses’ control. Everyone here would still honor their House above their family and their personal considerations, but because the residents of each individual town had little impact on Lutov as a whole, the key players in the homeland’s politics tended to think little of these ‘backwater places’. 

 That didn’t mean, however, that politics took a break here. Each town would have their equivalent of a mayor or a council, although those positions were loose in nature. Here, it belonged to a diminutive woman, someone I’d have overlooked if she hadn’t been forcing herself to meet my eyes. 

 Because towns kept to themselves, I rarely operated in them. In fact, this recent hunt, which had seen me visiting several of them, was the first time I’d stepped foot in one for over fifty years, all of which was to say that my presence here was an anomaly. I was surprised that so many of these people had stayed in place, rather than hurrying back to their homes. 

 Swallowing hard, the town’s mayor said, “Greetings to you, Lokke Vitras. How may we serve?” 

 That had been a bit formal, but I could work with- 

 “Per! I was just telling these people that I’ll need a place to stay for a night. Maybe two,” Baely said. “Do we need anything else from them?” 

 She glanced at our surroundings while I shook my head at her. Trust my daughter to lower a confrontation’s tension, even if it had been done unintentionally. 

 I understood what she’d meant, though. This town was quaint. We’d landed in a square, one that was surrounded by shops with apartments above them and narrow, two-story homes. A community building stood at one end of the square, and near my skycruiser, there was a playground for the town’s few children, peeking out from behind their parents. 

 Everything looked well maintained here, but it wasn’t decked out in the opulence that the high Strata enjoyed. This was what Baely had gotten used to, and once our current crisis was over, my partners and I should encourage her to mingle with the lower Strata more so that she understood how privileged we were. But for now… 

 “If anyone here has a pair of bikes that they’ll let me borrow, it would be helpful,” I said. “Other than that, just make sure Baely’s safe. That’s all I need from you.” 

 Nervously, the town’s mayor nodded. 

 “Give us a moment, and it will be done,” she said. 

 Inclining my head to her, I said, “My thanks.” 

 And nothing else. In situations like this, using minimal words was usually for the best. If I made an effort to be social, it would only make these people anxious. 

 As expected, the crowd dispersed once they knew my intentions, taking Baely with them. She winked at me before disappearing behind a door. 

 I didn’t have to wait long for what I’d requested, and once we had the bikes, Leski and I mounted them before taking off.

Chapter 73: I Never Wanted You to See This
Leski followed me as I made for where Kolb scouts had last spotted my targets. 

 I wasn’t sure how long this hunt would take me. Sure, the last one had taken a week, but usually, I only needed a day or two. 

 When it came to timing, I was hoping this hunt would be on the lower end. Not only did I want it over with so I could start on Calia’s list, but I was uncomfortable with leaving Baely in strangers’ care. I doubted they’d treat her poorly, and it was better that she was with them than me, but still. It set me on edge. 

 When we reached our destination, I frowned. No one was there, waiting for me. It would have surprised me if they had been, but considering the blatantly visible bike trails that were leading away from this spot, my targets might as well have stayed here. They hadn’t hidden their tracks. Why?  

 It was likely that they’d simply failed to follow a precaution that I considered basic. Even as I turned to follow the trail, though, I couldn’t shake my unease. Something was wrong here, but I couldn’t pinpoint it, not yet. I eventually would, though. I always did. 

 Soon enough, I spotted the bump of an encampment on the horizon, and stopping, I dismounted my borrowed bike. 

 “You’re to serve only as backup,” I told Leski. “It they fight, you can watch my back, but that’s all. Don’t act aggressively unless you must.” 

 Because I didn’t want this confrontation to stain her hands more than it already would. 

 With a cheeky grin, Leski said, “You got it, love.” 

 The way she’d said that was so reminiscent of another loved one that for a moment, their ghost was superimposed over her body. 

 “You’ve got this, LV,” my hallucination softly said. 

 With a tight grin, I nodded to them both before turning toward the bump on the horizon. As expected, it filled out as we came closer, and with my array enhancing my sight, I picked out my targets before slowly breathing out, entering mission mode. 

 “We’ll use our speed to approach them,” I said. “Come in from the north.” 

 Once Leski had acknowledged her orders, I was off. 

 The fight didn’t take long. My targets hadn’t been prepared for me, and so, I’d incapacitated most of them before they’d registered our presence. Killing the others took minimal effort. 

 The same couldn’t be said for what came after that. Unlike with my last target, prying information out of these people was a long and arduous process, and halfway through it, I had to give up the illusion that I could shelter Leski from the evil I was committing. I noted her facial expressions changing, her slow drop out of mission mode, but I couldn’t change what was happening, much as I refused to consider what would come once I was done here. 

 In the end, my targets didn’t volunteer the information that I needed, making me use a Puppeteer on them. I was sorting through the last of the group’s arrays when Leski broke her promise to me. 

 “Zae… please,” she breathed. “This is enough, isn’t it? You can- you can stop now.” 

 Squeezing my eyes closed, I continued with my search, even as I forced words out of my mouth. 

 “I must be sure that I have everything,” I said. “If this woman had shared what she knew in a verbal manner, I could have read her body language as she was speaking, and that would have informed me as to when I could stop. She can’t do that right now, though, which means I have to continue. You’re supposed to be in mission mode, Leski.” 

 She was silent for a while, and I focused on scouring the last of my target’s array rather than considering what that silence might mean. 

 “This is cruel,” she eventually said. “Unnecessarily cruel.” 

 Rather than read through the array’s last bit of data, I copied it to mine as I took a calming breath. Gently, I lowered my target to the ground before requesting my rifle. 

 “No, my love. What I’ve done was necessary,” I said. “Keeping these people trapped in their broken minds would be cruel.” 

 Without looking at Leski, I wandered through the encampment, shooting neat holes through its occupants’ forehead. Once I was done, the hallucination that I’d seen earlier flickered into being once more. 

 “I get it now,” they said. “She will too, someday. Trust me on that.” 

 I didn’t know what to say to them. Why would they give me this comfort, so soon after shouting disgust at me? If they were merely a hallucination, why would their opinion differ from mine or at the least, from my perception of the person they were modeled after? In either of those circumstances, they shouldn’t be able to offer such soothing words, and the fact that they had only confused me. 

 In this moment, I couldn’t afford confusion, so without a word, I dragged my eyes to my wife. Precariously balanced on her back leg, she was staring at me, wide-eyed, with her lips parted and nose wrinkled, which yes. That was what I’d thought she’d look like at the end of this. My anticipation of seeing her shock made it hurt no less, though. 

 With a sigh, I dropped my rifle. 

 “This is my job, love,” I said. “This is what I’m doing every time I’ve said I don’t need your help on a mission, smiling so you don’t worry. I have fought so hard to keep you from realizing everything that the role of the Lokke Vitras has forced from me, but here we are, and I am so very sorry for what you’re feeling right now.” 

 When I stopped talking, she didn’t say anything. She didn’t even move, and shaking my head, I rubbed my eyes. 

 “I know how awful it is to say this, but we should go,” I said. “I don’t want to leave Baely with strangers for longer than we have to, and I have a safehouse to investigate.” 

 I paused, unsure if I should continue, but Leski needed to hear this. 

 “After what’s happened here, I’ll understand if you’d rather stay in town than continue to my next destination with me,” I said. “We shouldn’t discuss that here, though. Let’s get somewhere safe first.” 

 I didn’t wait for her response. Even without the need for it, I used House Kolb speed to reach our bikes, reading through the data that I’d pulled from my target as I did. That was why when Leski stopped beside me, releasing a long string of heated words, I didn’t hear her. I was stuck staring at the last set of messages that one of my targets had both received and sent. 

 One where the other participant in the conversation lived in the town where we’d left Baely. 

 “It was a trap,” I said, stunned. 

 Leski cut off with her face reddening, but I couldn’t be bothered to calm her down right now. Of course my targets had made their tracks so visible. After learning that my daughter had been with me in the town, they’d wanted me to find them, keeping me away from her. And it was why they’d been so resistant to my interrogation. They’d been buying their comrades more time. 

 As I grabbed Leski’s shoulders, stopping a second tirade, the world went crystal clear while my everything focused on a single thought. 

 “Leski, those people were bait,” I said. “They’re going after our daughter.” 

 With blood draining from her face, Leski clicked her teeth together before ripping herself out of my grip. I didn’t check what she did next. Why would I when I knew what it would be?  

 Together, we mounted our bikes and raced back toward the town.

Chapter 74: Don't You Touch Her
It was quiet when we arrived. No one was outside of their homes, and there was no breeze to stir the air. 

 I couldn’t be sure how many of these people were complicit in this plot, whether willingly or under force, so I was careful while moving between houses with Leski barely audible behind me. Before entering the town’s confines, we’d placed camouflage disks on the back of our necks— 

 Our daughter’s life was at stake. We weren’t taking chances. 

 —but not only did that piece of tech fail to mask sound but our enemies might be on the lookout for the telltale sign of the disk’s use: eyes skipping over a spot. 

 We easily reached the house Baely had entered earlier, and I signaled for Leksi to hold position while heading toward the back. When I scanned its interior, there was a small militia waiting for us, so many people crowding such a tiny space that I couldn’t pick Baely out of them. 

 Can you eliminate the five closest to you? I sent to Leski. 

 She should be able to. I knew my wife’s capabilities well, but for something this important, I also knew better than to make assumptions. Her reply popped into my array within a few heartbeats. 

 I’d be more comfortable with four, it read. I’m not sure I can get a good angle on the one that’s furthest from me, but I can compensate if I must. 

 Let’s not, I was quick to send back, not when Baely’s life is on the line. You handle those four. I’ll take the rest. I’ll move when you do. 

 After a pause, I watched Leski reach for something at her waist, and as she strode for the front door, I slipped through the back entrance. 

 The scene inside was exactly as my array had reported it. A man was standing in the hallway that led deeper into the house, watching where I’d entered it, and on seeing the door open, he made to shout a warning. Fortunately, I was close enough to sink a dagger into his lungs, preventing him from making a sound, and finishing him off, I lowered the body to the floor. 

 Leski was almost to the front door, so I glided toward the first floor’s central room, ready to join her when she made her entrance. She did that with style, opening the door the barest sliver before flowing through it, and already, she’d sent two knives flying. I didn’t see the rest, firing off shot after shot while sticking my dagger through a woman’s heart. 

 Bodies dropped, leaving the room cleared of hostiles, and only five seconds had passed. It was damn fine work for a pair of House Kolb operatives. Sloppy for me, but I’d been too preoccupied with identifying my daughter to move faster. 

 She’d been sitting on the living room’s couch, seemingly unperturbed by the people standing guard over her, but when one of them collapsed, lifeless, into her lap, she screamed. I was across the room in a breath, pulling the body off of the couch before crouching in front of her. Gently, I took her shoulders. 

 “It’s ok,” I said. “Baely, you’re safe.” 

 Falling silent, Baely dragged their gaze off of the corpse to stare at me, wide-eyed. 

 “You killed him,” they whispered. 

 Sucking in a breath, I jerked away from them. Oh, Mother Time. What had I done? I… I’d sworn to keep this one life safe, protected from me, and yes, my daughter had chosen Kolb as their House. Yes, they’d probably see similar things throughout their life because of that but- 

 Something pushed against me, and following that prompt, I moved to the side, letting Leski take my place. 

 “Why don’t you come with me, sweetie?” she said. “Let’s go outside and get a breath of fresh air. Your father can finish in here.” 

 Slowly, Baely nodded, and Leski led her outside, leaving me alone in a room full of bodies. Squeezing my eyes closed, I rubbed my face, trying to erase the look of horror imprinted on the back of my eyelids. 

 I’d been in this situation, surrounded by the dead, so many times before, but this instance of it was worse than any of the others. Could one factor really change it so drastically? 

 Shaking my head, I set to work, alerting the relevant parties of the mess I was leaving behind. They’d get it cleaned up, as they always did. I wondered what they thought of their Lokke Vitras, those people who constantly handled the destruction that I left in my wake. 

 Beside the skycruiser, this town’s mayor was speaking with Leski, wringing her hands at the glare she was receiving in response, and I sighed under my breath. What was the point of wasting anger on a mostly innocent bystander? 

 After spotting my daughter through the skycruiser’s window, I quickened my pace, eager to leave this place. The town’s mayor soon caught sight of me, which hiccupped the stream of her word. Swallowing hard, she turned toward me, and I raised a hand. 

 “They coerced you into cooperating, yes?” I said. 

 The mayor frantically nodded, and making a face, I kneaded the back of my neck, which made her flinch. I paused before lowering my hands. 

 “You should have told me what was happening. I am your Lokke Vitras, here to serve Lutov and therefore, you,” I said, “but I understand why you didn’t, so please. Go in peace, knowing that I hold nothing against you.” 

 Bowing low, the mayor might have uttered her thanks before scurrying off, but if she did, I didn’t hear it, already focused on the greater problem. 

 Once Leski and I were alone, I said, “I’m sorry.” 

 I didn’t know what else I could do to fix this. 

 Crossing her arms, Leski said, “You sure are saying that a lot lately. Isn’t part of your precious job never apologizing for what you’ve done?” 

 With my eyes burning, I turned aside, unable to do anything else. If I spoke, I was afraid of what might come out of it. 

 After an interminably long silence, Leski cleared her throat. 

 “What now, Lokke Vitras?” she asked. 

 Shit. She’d dropped into mission mode. 

 Snapping my eyes closed, I gritted my teeth, grinding them together until I no longer needed to scream at the world’s unfairness. With a long breath out, I joined my wife in a near emotionless state, a side of me that had become increasingly more comfortable as time had gone on. 

 “This disaster has shown me that I was right,” I said. “Having family near me while I resolve our current crisis is dangerous. While I can’t tell you or Korix what to do when it comes to this, I still have a say in how we handle our daughter, and I say that she cannot accompany me on this mission. So, we will fly back to Xygek, where we will leave them somewhere safe. We will meet with Ko, and the two of you will decide how committed you are to the idea of helping me.” 

 I’d almost sneered that last bit, barely catching myself in time, but Leski didn’t seem to notice. When I glanced at her, she inclined her head before getting into the skycruiser. 

 “Mother Time damn it all,” I said under my breath. 

 But then, I joined my family inside. I only took one look at Baely before facing forward, chewing on my lip. Hell, I’d never seen her so empty before. I wondered how long she’d look like that. 

 Without another word, I fed the console a set of coordinates, and the skycruiser lifted off, taking us away from a still seemingly abandoned town.

Chapter 75: We Need to Talk
When we reached House Kolb’s headquarters, Korix took one look at us before pulling Baely into a hug. 

 “What happened?” he asked over the top of her head. 

 I was halfway to answering when Leski barreled over me. 

 “Your student showed us everything that he’s capable of,” she snapped. “You should be proud.” 

 Apparently, she was no longer in mission mode. 

 In shocked silence, Korix slid his cool, gray eyes to me, and I shrugged. 

 “I couldn’t find another way,” I said. 

 Maintaining his gaze was… Mother Time, it was impossible, but I did it anyway until Baely shifted in Korix’s arms, breaking his hold on them. 

 “That’s not fair, mom,” they said. “I know what happened was hard, but you can’t take it out on them. It’s not fair.” 

 Sucking in a breath, Leski bit her tongue for a moment before sharply nodding. 

 “I need some space,” she said. “If you need me, I’ll be at the apartment.” 

 Marching away, she quickly disappeared, leaving my heart aching. She wasn’t the one who most needed my attention right now, though. When I turned to Baely, she engulfed me in a hug, burying her face in my shoulder. 

 “I love you, per, more than I can say,” she said before lifting her eyes to meet mine, “but I’m going to stay with some friends tonight. I need some time to think. Ok?” 

 Smiling, I cupped my daughter’s cheeks, brushing a thumb under her eye. 

 “I am so proud of you for knowing your limits and setting boundaries,” I said. “Given that, of course you should spend as much time as you want with your friends, but can you please update me about where you are and if you’re safe?” 

 With a laugh, Baely nudged my hands off of them. 

 “Considering I just got kidnapped, I think that can be arranged,” they said. 

 Ignoring how much Korix had stiffened, I said, “Thank you. Have fun with your friends, and I love you too.” 

 “I know,” Baely said with a brilliant smile. 

 Whirling toward Korix, she made her farewell of him, but I wasn’t paying attention to it, already heading back to the skycruiser. I had work to do. 

 Even still, I waited for Korix before leaving. I knew he’d need a more detailed report than the spotty information Leski and Baely had given him, and sure enough, he soon stopped beside me, crossing his arms with an eyebrow raised. I didn’t bother with pleasantries, telling him the story in a cool and precise manner. By the end of it, he was pinching the bridge of his nose with his eyes squeezed closed. 

 “I should have been there to help,” he said. 

 “Maybe,” I said with a shrug, “but it’s in the past, Ko. There’s nothing we can do about it except give Baely and Leski what they’ve asked for.” 

 “That’s true.” 

 Relaxing, Korix lowered his hand before looking me over. 

 “Are you headed out again?” he asked. 

 “In a minute,” I said. “I was hoping you’d share how things went between Calia’s people and the shukusenth first.” 

 Maybe he’d also tell me what personal matter had been so important that he’d taken the risk of marring Baely and Leski’s innocence. 

 “That meeting hasn’t happened yet. You know how ponderous these things can be,” Korix said, “but Talira has reassured these dissenters enough that they gave us a second set of coordinates for safehouses.” 

 “How generous of them,” I said, rolling my eyes. “Well? Anytime you feel like passing it along would be nice.” 

 I gestured at Korix, but he didn’t move, watching me. After several beats of quiet, I clicked my tongue while resting my hands on my hips. 

 “What is it?” I said. 

 There had to be something. I knew this look of speculation better than most. 

 Cautiously, Korix said, “I… need you to do something for me.” 

 Ok. I wasn’t sure how much more I could pile on my plate right now but… 

 “What is it?”  I asked. 

 Damn. Korix looked almost nervous now. What could possibly have caused that? 

 Licking his lips, he said, “I need you to take a break. A short one.” 

 With my eye twitching, I drew breath to speak—he knew why I was pushing myself so hard—but he lifted a hand to stop me. 

 “Let me finish first,” he said. “In the last four and a half months, you’ve worked yourself into a state of exhaustion nearly every day, been betrayed by someone you respected, nearly died, and lost the only friend you’ve made in your life, someone you haven’t properly mourned yet. I am at a loss as to how you’re functioning as well as you are, and Talira agrees. The only reason she hasn’t ordered you to take a break is because she knows you won’t listen to her, so instead, we’re hoping you’ll do that with me. Come home, Zae, just for the rest of the day. You’ve given the homeland enough security to rest, if only for a few hours, so please. Take a break so that once this is over, your family will have a recognizable version of you left.” 

 Hell, he was speaking so logically right now, and I knew he was right, but- but I couldn’t do what he’d asked. I didn’t know why this was only hitting me now, instead of at another point over the last four months, but I wasn’t seeking out House Cerullis fugitives solely to keep Lutov safe. I needed them gone for something much more important, to me at least. I was fighting to get justice for- 

 “Me?” 

 Stepping out from behind Korix, my hallucination flashed a sloppy grin at me. 

 “That’s silly, LV. You have to admit it,” they said, “but even if you won’t do that, think about this situation with me. Even if we discount every other benefit you might gain, getting some rest might banish me from your life, and you do want that, right?” 

 How could they know what I wanted? Even I wasn’t sure what that was right now. Sure, having a hallucination hanging around was… concerning, to say the least, but I also… I also didn’t want to say goodbye to my friend again. 

 Even still, my hallucination was in my brain. They had to be, whether they were actually a hallucination or something else entirely, and that meant they were probably voicing my subconscious right now, the piece of me that had always guided me along the correct path throughout my life. Should I listen to it now? 

 Sighing, I said, “Fine. Let’s go.” 

 With his mouth open to continue arguing with me, Korix froze, cocking his head, before smiling. 

 “Never thought you’d let me win so easily,” he said. “Reminds me of old times.” 

 “Well, don’t get used to it.” 

 Stepping through my hallucination, I repeatedly poked Korix’s chest. 

 “I am not your kuvesk . Not anymore.” 

 “I know." 

 Korix took my finger, lifting it so he could kiss the heel of my palm, and as I flushed, he turned away to lead us off the landing pad. 

 I was so wrapped up in the idea of rest that the walk passed beneath my notice. Hell, when was the last time I’d let myself relax in any way? At times over these last four months, it had felt like I was alert and primed for action even in the middle of my dreams. 

 Until we walked through the apartment’s front door, I forgot that a source of conflict would be waiting for me at home, but fortunately, as we made our way through the apartment, Leski was nowhere to be seen. Maybe Korix had messaged her to let her know we were coming, and if so, it had been a good idea. I didn’t want to avoid her right now, quite the opposite, but respecting her wishes seemed wise. 

 Korix took me into the spare bedroom, and on seeing the bed in there, I didn’t bother with removing my clothes. I stumbled to collapse face-first on it, breathing in the scent of clean sheets, and soon enough, Korix joined me, bouncing me in place. I rolled over, snuggling into his side. 

 “Thank you,” I said. 

 But then, my store of accrued exhaustion hit me over the head with a mallet, and I happily lost consciousness. I wasn’t sure if I dreamed that night. If I did, my unconscious ramblings were lost when I gradually woke up, roused by the smell of frying bacon. 

 Grinning, I yawned while clambering out of bed. Korix was cooking. All was right with the world. 

 In the kitchen, he was facing the stove with his back to me, so for a while, I watched him, leaning against the doorframe with my arms crossed. 

 “Are you planning on standing there all day, or will you help me?” he eventually asked. 

 Straightening, I chucked. 

 “All you had to do was ask.” 

 After removing bacon from a pan, Korix slid it to another eye on the stove, pointing to a loaf of bread nearby. I toasted slices of it in the leftover grease while he got started with making caf. 

 “How long was I out?” I asked. 

 Koris gave me an incredulous look, at which I stuck out my tongue. Sure, I could have easily checked that for myself. Sure, I should have done that before getting out of bed, but what could I say? Sometimes, I liked meaningless small talk with the people I loved. 

 Shaking his head, Korix said, “Almost ten hours.” 

 Choking on a cough, I sank my spatula into the soggy bread hard enough that its halves were soon floating away from one another. 

 “Ten… hours?” I gasped. “This was supposed to be a short break. I- I need to go!” 

 Snatching my wrist, Korix took the spatula from me before fishing a slice of toast out of the pan. 

 “No. You don’t,” he said. “Break’s not over, Zae. Not quite. So, sit down and eat with me before I’m forced to take extreme measures to keep you here.” 

 Was that supposed to scare me? Because honestly? It did. Even now, I was uncertain of what Korix was capable of, and I didn’t want to see the wealth of his experience and skill brought to bear against me, especially if he was doing it with my best interests at heart. 

 Mother Time knew what that extra bit of protectiveness would evoke in him. 

 So, I grumpily acquiesced, plopping into a chair at the table with a frown. Besides, what harm could an extra quarter hour of idleness do? 

 Sliding a plate in front of me, Korix pointed at it— 

 “Eat.” 

 —before placing a mug of caf at my elbow. I did what he’d said, even if I also did my level best not to enjoy this oh-dear-Mother-Time-it-was-amazing meal. Soon enough, Korix sat beside me, and while I refused to talk to him, I couldn’t resist holding his hand when he placed it between us. 

 This was how Leski found us. Wandering into the kitchen bleary-eyed, she narrowed said eyes at us while grabbing some caf. I hurried to finish my breakfast before she’d finished preparing her cup, but by the time she came to stand over us, I wasn’t done. I shoved a last slice of bacon into my mouth while she stared, sipping her caf. 

 “Zaeden, we need to talk,” she said. 

 She glided out of the kitchen with nothing else. Exchanging a glance with Korix, I extricated my hand from his before hurrying after her. 

 We ended up in our bedroom with her sitting against the headboard, clutching a stuffed animal to her chest. Blank-faced, she took another pull of her caf while gesturing for me to join her, and after I’d gotten settled, she handed me another stuffed animal. 

 Shit. This would be serious. Leski didn’t get these out for anything else. 

 Oh, fuck. What had happened yesterday had been too much for her, hadn’t it? She was about to tell me that we were done, that she was- 

 “So, first of all, I’m not leaving you,” Leski said. “I don’t know who hurt you so badly that you jump to that possibility first in situations like this, but that doesn’t matter right now. I’m going nowhere. Ok?” 

 Biting my lip, I nodded, wondering when I’d started strangling the stuffed animal I was holding. It had been a while since we’d had a conversation that had required them. I’d forgotten how much they helped. 

 With a slow sigh, Leski finished off her caf. Setting it aside, she lifted her stuffed bear, touching its nose to hers, and stared into its eyes. 

 “I understand everything the Lokke Vitras is called to do, at least conceptually, but having it shoved in my face like that…” 

 Lowering the bear, Leski met my eyes. 

 “I didn’t like it, and if I’m exposed to it again, I’m afraid of what might happen. So.” 

 Looking away, she hugged the bear. 

 “I can’t go on missions with you right now. In fact, I can’t be involved in the Lokke Vitras side of your life in any way, I don’t think,” she said. “I’m not asking you to stay silent about it. Tell me about your missions as much as you like, but beyond that, I can’t be a part of it.” 

 Oh. That was… 

 With my fingers limp in my lap, I stared at them, trying to decide what to say. Leski was, in essence, rejecting a part of who I was. It was a part that I mostly despised, but nevertheless, this hurt, and I didn’t want her to see that. I wanted her to share what she needed from me to be happy, and if I reacted unfavorably to this new boundary between us, she might not do that anymore. 

 How did I balance my needs with hers, though? 

 Lost in my thoughts, I didn’t see Leski lunging for me until she had a hold of my head, and after searching my eyes, she clicked her tongue. 

 “That’s what I thought,” she said. 

 Releasing me, she stole my stuffed animal before throwing it in my face. 

 “This isn’t for forever, dumbass!” she said. “And I don’t hate what you do to keep us safe. The fact that you endure so much while staying you amazes me! I just need some time spent learning how to cope for when this happens again. If it happens again. That’s all!” 

 Again. Oh. 

 “I love you,” I said, ignoring how blurred my vision had become. 

 “I love you too,” Leski said. 

 Smirking, she wiped away a tear before gently kissing me. I could tell it had been meant as only a peck, a small bit of comfort imparted, but still, it had me pulling back with a shaky gasp before leaning in again, tangling my hands in her hair. 

 Hell, I’d missed this. The connections that one could find with another person were endless, all of them wonderful in their own way, but for me, this sort of physicality was one of the most fulfilling. 

 Grabbing Leski’s stuffed animal, I tossed it away so I could nudge her back onto the bed. I brushed my hands over her skin while she steadily stole the breath from my lungs, and here, we remained for a while, until someone cleared his throat behind us. 

 “I thought you had to go,” Korix said. 

 Groaning, I rested my forehead in the hollow of Leski’s neck while she laughed. 

 “Oh, hush, and get over here, asshole,” she said. 

 Humming, Korix seemed happy to follow his instructions, crawling over the bed toward us. Something deep inside of me exhaled at the mischievous grin on his face, even as I turned back to rest my head on Leski’s chest. Seemed I’d be taking an even longer break than I’d initially anticipated.

Chapter 76: Something's Wrong Here
It took quite some time, but eventually, I extracted myself from the apartment, heading for House Kolb’s headquarters. I thought it best to give myself the length of the walk to settle into the Lokke Vitras role once more, and after that was done, I had to admit. Korix had once again proven himself wise. After a night of rest and recuperation, I was ready to take on any enemy. 

 Except Talira. 

 She intercepted me on the way to my skycruiser, stopping me with her arms spread wide for a hug. Frozen in place, I darted my eyes over the high Strata around us, confused about what she was doing. When we were around other House Kolb members, she usually didn’t play her part as my grandmother, but a hug was far too familiar of a gesture between the Lokke Vitras and his shukusen . 

 Clicking her tongue, Talira fucking shouted, “Get your ass over here before I kick it, Zaeden. Appearances be damned, just for the moment. I’m proud of you.” 

 Hesitantly, I edged into her arms, and squeezing me, Talira placed her mouth near my ear. 

 “Follow my lead until we reach my office, or I really will kick your ass,” she whispered. 

 Ah. So, she wasn’t pleased with me. Was this an attempt to boost morale, then? From the uneasy glances directed our way, I’d say it wasn’t working. 

 Clapping my shoulder, Talira tugged me along, heading toward her office. 

 “Who’d have thought someone could turn so many people traitor to their House?” she loudly said. “But doing the impossible has always been your forte, grandson. How fortunate that you have those skills, considering what Cerullis has become.” 

 Wait. Was she trying to protect me? She usually didn’t sing my praises like this, especially not where so many people could hear them. 

 But no, that couldn’t be right. She had nothing to protect me from. 

 “Thank you… grandmama,” I said. 

 Had anyone else noticed that slight hesitation? I knew Talira had, given her quick glance at me, but she didn’t count. I wasn’t putting on a performance for her. 

 “As always, I only did what I thought was right,” I continued, “and I’m the Lokke Vitras. Nothing is outside of my capabilities, so please, don’t praise me for this.” 

 Shaking her head, Talira patted my shoulder with a laugh. 

 “Look at you. Always so humble!” she said. “We have much to discuss, though. Join me in my office.” 

 Smiling, she stepped into a lift, one that would presumably take her to the top of the tower, and silently sighing, I followed her. Once we were in her office, she closed the door before banging her head on it with a quiet screech. Raising an eyebrow at this, I diverted my course from her desk to the sideboard. She’d be less difficult to work with if I got her a drink before she realized that she needed one. 

 “Problem?” I asked. 

 At that, Talira started snickering before bursting into uproarious laughter. 

 “So, so many of them,” she eventually gasped. “You have no idea.” 

 But then, she straightened, getting herself under control, before turning to me. 

 “It’s nothing I can’t handle, though,” she said. “Thank you.” 

 Plucking the drink out of my hand, she settled into her typical seat behind the desk, gesturing for me to join her. Once I’d sat across from her, she steepled her fingers in front of her face. 

 “Did Korix tell you what I pulled out of your little group of dissenters?” she asked. 

 Nodding, I said, “A second set of safehouses, yes. He has yet to give me the coordinates, though.” 

 “That’s because he doesn’t have them,” Talira said before waving at me. “Don’t worry. I’ll send them to you before you leave, but I wanted to withhold them until I had the chance to update you in person. Things have been tense here, and there are some things I need to share that I couldn’t trust over a connection.” 

 “That sounds ominous,” I lightly said. 

 I’d been hoping to make her laugh, but if anything, my statement turned her even more serious. 

 “It’s certainly not great,” she said. “So, first of all, there’s been some unease over how you’re handling the fugitives. The other shukusenth, the ones who don’t know you well at least, expected you to kill far more of those poor people than you have. I’ve heard some of them wondering if you’re not secretly allied with Sanya, building her an army of exiled, and you know what they’re like. Speculation can quickly turn to suspicion, even without evidence to support it.” 

 So, the performance earlier had been an attempt to protect me, in a way. Still. What Talira was proposing… 

 “Why would they think that I’m anything but loyal to Lutov?” I asked. “Over the last century, I’ve only proven that fact.” 

 Or at least, I thought I had. In some ways, it had been my goal, all done to keep as much attention off of my less-than-loyal activities. 

 With a snort, Talira shook her head. 

 “Really, Zaeden? You don’t know?” she said. “You bring change, and the other shukusenth don’t like it. It doesn’t matter how loyal you appear to be. Because you don’t fit into the mold that they’ve made for you, they’ll constantly be watching you for betrayal, as so many other non-conforming Lokke Vitras have done in the past.” 

 Well, fuck. I’d known that my ‘defiant’ streak was sure to gain me some of the shukusenth’s attention at some point, but I hadn’t expected it to be so soon. Still, so far as I knew, some among them were friendly to me, and I could cultivate those ties. Plus, I already had a powerful ally, or… was Talira my ally? 

 “And what do you think about this?” I asked, trying to radiate bemusement. 

 I didn’t know if I’d managed it, considering how serious Talira was keeping herself. 

 “I know that you’re planning to change Lutov, even if I’m not sure how far you mean to take that. I keep waiting for you to share your plans with me, but I know that won’t happen for a while, nor should it, given our complicated relationship," she said. “Let me be clear, Zaeden. When it comes to this, I am watching you just as much as the others. There is a line that I will never let you cross, one I don’t think you ever intend to approach, but until or if you do, I mean to sit back and watch you work. To this point, what you’ve done has only benefitted Lutov, and I look forward to seeing what else you can accomplish. Am I understood?” 

 With a dry mouth, I nodded. I’d always thought that Talira might know my secret goal, but this was as close as she’d come to outright saying that. It was good to know that, for the moment at least, she wouldn’t get in my way. 

 “Do you have any suggestions for how I can alleviate the other shukusenth’s concerns, besides changing my methods?” I asked. “I’m not killing people who don’t deserve it unless I absolutely have to.” 

 “Let me handle it,” Talira said while flapping a hand. “You’ve got enough on your plate.” 

 Raising an eyebrow, I said, “And you don’t as well? You seemed pretty frustrated earlier.” 

 With a sigh, Talira sipped her drink before firmly resting it on her desk once more. 

 “Yes, but managing the shukusenth is one of my easier tasks,” she said. “I’ve been working with them for a long time. Predicting how they’ll act has become easy.” 

 Shrugging, I said, “Ok. Take them on if you want, but you’ll have to let me start messing with the politics side of this life at some point, if you ever want me to replace you that is.” 

 “Are you kidding? I’m not letting you get your grubby, little paws anywhere near politics. Not yet,” Talira said with a grin. “Maybe after we’re stable again but definitely not before then.” 

 Scowling, I slouched. 

 “Fine…” I sighed. “Now, what else did you need to tell me?” 

 Any trace of a good mood that our banter might have raised in Talira vanished. Making a face, she rubbed her eyes. 

 “Before you run off again, we should talk about Sanya,” she said. 

 I went cold, suddenly unable to move anything but my mouth. How could one name do this to me? 

 “Have you found her?” I calmly asked. 

 Ah. That was why. Despite… everything, I dreaded the moment when I’d be given a set of coordinates and told to go fetch. I knew what would happen soon after that. 

 “No. To my continual frustration, that girl still has an innate ability to hide, one she learned as a child,” Talira said. “No, I thought…” 

 Falling silent, she sighed. 

 “I should probably tell you how I know her.” 

 Or we could discuss this subject, one I’d anticipated with almost as much anxiety. 

 “I’ve been wondering about that,” I said. “You and Ko have certainly dropped enough hints to let me know that she’s more than just a former shukusen of Cerullis to you.” 

 Grimacing, Talira said, “Yes, I thought you might have noticed. Before you ask, I can’t tell you how Korix is connected to Sanya. After so many years of working together, I’ve betrayed his trust too many times to count. I won’t do it again.” 

 “Nor would I want you to,” I said, inclining my head in acknowledgment. 

 I was a little annoyed that his relationship with Sanya would remain a secret, but as had been said many times by many different people in the past, we take what we can get. 

 “As for me, I actually know Sanya through Korix,” Talira said. “Because of that, I can’t tell you how we met, but I can say that due to those circumstances, I’ve always felt responsible for her. It’s why I advocated so heavily for her elevation to the position of shukusen, which was a mistake. I thought she was ready for the pressure associated with the role. Look how wrong I was.” 

 With my eye twitching, I couldn’t keep the snarl off of my face. 

 “Sanya’s choices are her own,” I snapped. “We… you can’t be blamed for them.” 

 Hell, that had been a major slip up on my part. I hadn’t been aware of how hurt I still was by Sanya’s betrayal. Thankfully, Talira didn’t comment on it. 

 “Yes, I know,” she said, “but that’s the extent of my relationship with her. Even still, it could be a vulnerability when we  deal with her, so I thought I should tell you.” 

 “And I thank you for it,” I said before pausing for a moment. “Korix’s connection to Sanya. Will it be a problem?” 

 Talira went blank-faced. 

 “Ask him,” she said. 

 Shiiit… 

 But that was a problem for another day. 

 “I will,” I said. “Is there anything else, or can I get back to work?” 

 I should do that. This ‘break’ had extended long past the time I’d allotted for it. 

 “No, we’re done here,” Talira said. “I’ll send you the coordinates for the second set of safehouses and Zaeden? Clear them quickly. Once this meeting between your dissenters and the shukusenth happens, I have a plan to handle the loyal remnants of Cerullis, one that I’ll need you to take part in. Also, once the dissidents’ proposal has been approved, I’m sending Korix to help them with their new commune. Given that, I can guarantee you that he’ll need your help soon.” 

 Halfway through getting out of my chair, I froze, narrowing my eyes at Talira. Something in her tone… 

 “What do you mean?” I asked. 

 With a tight smile, Talira says, “What I said. Get out of here, my Lokke Vitras. I need Lutov free of fugitives.” 

 Oh… I did not like it when she hid things from me like this. Still, I finished getting to my feet and bowed. 

 “Yes, my shukusen,” I said. “I’ll bring you a report once I’m finished.” 

 At her nod, I left, already writing a message to Korix. 

 Talira told me you’re helping Calia and her people with their project. Can you handle that alone? I can join you soon, if needed. 

 Maybe something in his reply would leave a clue as to what Talira didn’t want me to know about, but until I received it, I’d have to put the question aside. I had other problems to handle.  

 When I eventually reached my skycruiser at the tower’s top, I was surprised to see Baely leaning against it. I didn’t know how they’d gotten there without me noticing, but when they saw me coming, they straightened with a nervous smile on their face. Oh, this couldn’t be good. 

 Despite that, I returned my daughter’s smile. 

 “Hi, sweetie,” I said. “How are your friends? I thought you were staying with them for a while.” 

 Biting her lip, Baely tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. 

 “That was the plan, yeah,” she said before taking a deep breath. “Then, I decided that I needed to come with you more than I need space right now.” 

 She paused, cautiously watching me, and I fought to keep my hands at my sides instead of rubbing my eyes. 

 “Baely…” I started, not sure where to go with this. 

 I couldn’t endanger my daughter any more than I already had. 

 Throwing up their hands to stop me, they said, “Hang on. Let me explain before you say anything.” 

 With a sigh, I nodded, but this only made them shift in place. Before I had to push them to speak, though, Baely started blurting their explanation at me. 

 “You’re the Lokke Vitras, which is the most dangerous job in Lutov. I knew this, but until the last few days, I never truly understood it.” 

 Rapidly blinking, she glanced away from me to look out over Xygek’s skyline. 

 “I don’t know what to think about how you killed all of those people. It seemed so easy for you,” she continued, “but as I thought about it, I realized how simple it could have been for you to have died instead of them, and more than anything, I don’t want that.” 

 With a gasp, Baely vigorously shook their head before meeting my eyes. 

 “I want to help keep you safe, although I know I can’t do much about that. I’m not a fighter like you, but I am good at first aid. Maybe… maybe you could bring me with you so I can patch you up if you get hurt. I could stay on the sidelines while you’re doing your job—” 

 If their nose wrinkled while saying that last word, I chose not to see it. 

 “—and if there’s an emergency, you could message me. I want to keep you alive, per, just until it’s a little safer. Please, let me do that.” 

 I looked at my daughter, noting their red-rimmed eyes, and knew this for what it was. Baely had, in a way, had her world view shaken, and when similar things had happened in the past, she’d always focused on helping others. It was how she processed her problems, and with the subject matter of this upset, I wasn’t surprised that she’d focused those efforts on me. 

 Unfortunately, this meant that for a time, she’d put all of her energy into me, whether this way or through excessive worrying, and no matter how much I disliked the idea of bringing her along, it was better if she used this energy in a productive manner. Besides, I could keep her safe, especially with the restrictions she’d already proposed in place. If I couldn’t do that, Korix and Leski would probably kill me, but by that point, I’d probably want them to. 

 “If you promise to stay where I leave you over the next few days, you can get in the skycruiser,” I sighed. 

 Relaxing, Baely released the breath they’d been holding, and with a tentative smile, they followed their instructions, which was a good start. Still, as I rounded the skycruiser, I couldn’t help but think that I’d made a mistake.  

 This was only compounded by the message that I received while sliding into my seat. 

 I’ll be fine, Zae, it read. This is a diplomatic mission and an easy one at that. You should focus on your task for now, but when you’re done, yes. I could always use your company. Once more working together on a project could be nice, don’t you think? 

 Reading this, I scowled. Once more? He’d helped me with plenty of missions over the years, so why was he pretending otherwise in this message? When sending it, had he expected someone to intercept it, and if so, who? Or was he subtly telling me something else? 

 If he were any other person, I’d think I was overanalyzing a simple turn of phrase, but this was Korix. He wouldn’t say something so off-putting unless it had been meant as a hidden message. 

 “Per?” 

 At my side, Baely was watching me with a frown, and clearing my throat, I shook off my suspicions and doubts.  

 “Sorry, sweetie,” I said. “Let’s head out, shall we?” 

 They gave me the most hesitant of smirks, and I took that as the reassurance that it was. Thus prepared, I started us toward the first of many destinations.

Chapter 77: I Should Get Some Sleep
Two months had passed, and once again, I found myself exhausted beyond measure. This time, however, I was in a fight. Not that this was unusual for me. I was exhausted while fighting at regular intervals. What made this situation unique had nothing to do with that. No. What was different this time was that while participating in it, an injury did something useful for me for the first time in my life. 

 As I moved out from cover, a gash in my leg, one that might see me bleeding out if I wasn’t careful, had me stumbling the slightest bit, but it was enough to move my head out of the way of the energy bolt that had been coming for it. Instead, the bolt singed my hair, searing my ear in the process. I couldn’t consider this miracle, however, as I was too busy struggling to stay on my feet to do that. 

 I couldn’t believe I’d forgotten about that injury. Sure, I might have just received it, and yes, I was almost as exhausted as I’d been before making a fateful trip into the Tainted Lands, months ago. I was wandering through a thick fog, something that was impairing my thinking, but still, I should have remembered the wound. 

 There wasn’t much I could do about either the injury or my forgetfulness right now, though. Grunting, I shot forward once more, advancing on the next bit of cover. 

 This should have been a simple scout and elimination hunt, but something—I wasn’t sure what—had tipped my targets off to my arrival. They’d been prepared for me, and now, I was having to advance on them in skips and jumps. With them having dug into the safehouse, it was my only way to get closer. 

 Given what I was here to do, I couldn’t blame them for their resistance. I’d do the same thing if I was in their position. 

 When I finally reached the safehouse, I paused by the door to catch my breath. According to my array, not many people were waiting inside, so this should be relatively easy. Why did I get the feeling that it would be anything but? 

 After taking a steadying breath, I burst through the door, downing two targets with energy bolts. I snatched one of their bodies on the way to the floor, pulling it in front of me. Using it as a shield, I took one, two steps, but then, I dropped it, twirling to stab a man’s eye. To my surprise, he was quicker than me, batting at my arm before the strike could land. 

 No matter. I already had another knife aimed for his carotid, and this one landed. Jerking on the blade’s handle, I sent blood spraying over the wall before throwing that same knife into the raised arm of a woman aiming at me. A clean hole, bored through her forehead, ended that threat, and I was left panting in an empty safehouse. 

 Maybe I’d been wrong about this hunt’s difficulty. 

 After gathering my weapons, I looked over the bodies around me. Could I have played this out any differently? Perhaps, but these people had seemed intent on dying before letting me take their arrays from them. Still, maybe I should have tried talking- 

 A flash of heat between my shoulder blades knocked the breath out of my lungs, and doubling over, I fought to spin in place instead of falling on my face as my body demanded. The look of triumph on the face of the man behind me swiftly morphed into something else, all while I dumbly gaped at him. 

 Where had he come from? My array had reported… 

 Holy hell. Had I seriously just relied solely on tech during a mission? One hundred years ago, I’d given Feena shit for making such a rooky mistake, and now, here I was, doing the same thing as the Lokke Vitras. I really needed some sleep. 

 But the man in front of me was starting to recover from his shock, so I shoved that need aside, punching him in the face instead. 

 Finishing him off while he was reeling was easy, and once he was down, I was left with a dangerously deep gash in my thigh and a knife in my back. 

 Damn, Baely would give me hell for this, not that I wanted to return to my daughter in this state. I didn’t have much of a choice with that, though. I might have a few hypos of shitty RRDs on me, but I’d left all of my good ones with them, and they were over a kilometer away. 

 Considering how badly I was already swaying, I should start heading their way if I didn’t want to collapse, unconscious, before reaching them. Knowing my daughter, they’d soon start looking for me, worried about my delay, and I didn’t want to panic them like that. It would almost certainly be worse than returning to them this injured. So, after sending a message to Talira, detailing this hunt’s outcome, I set off. 

 Baely was getting better about hiding how much I’d worried her. When I reached her, she ran her eyes over me before calmly reaching for where she’d stashed my RRDs. 

 After letting her pull the knife out of me, I sank to the ground beside her, awkwardly leaning against the tree she was sitting beneath. While she jabbed me with hypos, I closed my eyes and rested my head against the tree’s trunk. Now that today’s safehouse had been cleared out, I should get some rest, letting these RRDs do their work. 

 I was on the dangerous end of adrenaline burst usage right now. If I induced another one anytime soon, there would be consequences, and besides that, my attention and focus were clearly suffering from how long I’d been awake. It was time to listen to my body. 

 “Can you keep watch for me, sweetie?” I asked. “I’m too tired to set traps, and I need sleep.” 

 “Finally, he sees reason,” Baely said under their breath. 

 Cracking an eye open, I smirked at the angry look on their face. Mother Time, they were glaring at the gash on my leg, one that was already closing, but once the RRDs kicked in, its current rate of healing would skyrocket. Was Baely watching to make sure that happened? 

 When I failed to reply, she said, “You don’t want to sleep in the skycruiser?” 

 Relaxing, I closed my eyes again, shifting into a better position. 

 “I’m perfectly comfortable here. Why waste the energy of getting up, just for a bit of extra cushioning?” I said. “Besides, you like the open air, right? So do I. Let’s enjoy it while we can.” 

 Baely had nothing to say in response. After a moment, they fell to a seat beside me before resting their head on my shoulder. It was comforting, and that warm sense of contentment had almost ushered me into dreamland when my daughter decided to break the silence. 

 “You’re going to die someday, aren’t you?” they whispered. 

 And contentment was sapped from me. Peeling my sandpaper eyelids open, I craned my neck to look at Baely. She was fiddling with the hem of her sweater with her bitten lip barely visible from this angle, and I sighed. I’d been wondering when she’d bring this up. 

 “Yes, Baely, I’ll eventually join the Collective. It’s what happens to every human, even we seemingly all-powerful Lutovish,” I said. “What’s brought this up?” 

 But they hadn’t heard my question, slowly shaking their head. 

 “That’s not what I meant, and you know it,” they said. “If I’ve learned one thing over the last few months, it’s how fragile you are, per . Don’t get me wrong. You’re far stronger than most everyone else I’ve met, but that strength doesn’t count for much when faced with everything you handle on a daily basis. Far too often, you’ve survived a sticky situation in these last few weeks by pure, dumb luck. What happens when that luck runs out? How long will it be before mom and dad sit me down to tell me you’re not coming home?” 

 Damnit. Sometimes, it seemed like the only people who fully realized how human I was were the ones I’d never wanted to understand that fact. Why was that? 

 I’d opened my mouth, meaning to say something comforting, when a connection request flashed in my array. As when Calia had contacted me several weeks ago, I couldn’t easily identify who was on the other end of it, and unfortunately, that meant I should accept the request. If another fugitive from House Cerullis wanted to talk, I needed listen, especially right now. 

 Not far off of Lutov’s east coast, Korix, Calia, and her people had started the initial construction of a sanctuary for House Cerullis’ dissenters, and while it was in this first stage, additional outcasts could join the new community. Once its construction was completed, however, that window would close, and I’d like to get as many of Cerullis’ dissenters to safety as I could before that happened. 

 Still. This was poor timing. 

 Gently squeezing Baely’s hand, I slid out from under her before getting to my feet. Still on the ground, my daughter stared at me with her jaw set, which had me making a face. 

 “I’ll only be a moment,” I said. “We can continue this conversation when I come back.” 

 Crossing their arms, Baely slowly leaned against the tree with their eyes pinned on me, and with a headshake, I started off.

Chapter 78: It's Been a While
The person making the connection request must understand why my answer had been so delayed because I was able to put quite some distance between me and Baely before accepting it. 

 “Whoever you are, you have thirty seconds to explain why I should maintain this connection,” I snapped. 

 I really hadn’t wanted to leave Baely hanging after what she’d just said. 

 In answer, a soft laugh sounded over the connection. 

 “Goodness, Zaeden. I never thought you could be so frazzled. It hurts to hear.” 

 I stopped short with invisible lighting nailing me to the ground. Through a fog, I watched myself begin the process of tracing this connection, even knowing I’d never reach its source. Still, I had to try, and while I did that, I turned my attention to the woman on the other side of it. 

 “Sanya. What a surprise,” I said. “To what do I owe the pleasure?” 

 Again, she laughed. 

 “Please. There’s no need for civility. You must hate me by now, much as the thought pains me.” 

 Did I, though? The last time I’d been involved in a disaster like this, the one who’d started it had quickly earned my enmity, but this time around, I had yet to decide whether Sanya was a villain or not, even after everything she’d done. She couldn’t know that, though. 

 “Fine. What do you want?” I snapped. 

 “Two things,” Sanya said. “First, I wanted to warn you. Sometime in the next week, Talira will probably order you to do something that will test you, and when she does, you’ll have a choice to make. Do as you’re told, or for the first time, you could stand for what’s right.” 

 This argument again? Hell, I couldn’t indulge in something so meaningless right now. 

 Because yes. Over the last few months, everything Sanya had said during our last confrontation had been echoing in my head, and much as I’d like to, I couldn’t deny that fact. Even with this echo plaguing me, though, I couldn’t give up my convictions. Changing Lutov at a slower and steadier pace would be better in the long run. At times, chaos might break a society, temporarily changing the status quo, but unless the upset was truly severe, society would eventually bounce back, discarding any changes that had occurred. If possible, it would be better to make changes that lasted, no matter how long doing that might take. 

 “Did you seriously request a connection just to deliver a vague threat?” I said. 

 Which was about the only thing I could say at the moment. 

 “No. Why do that when I know you won’t listen to me? Or you won’t do that yet, at least,” Sanya said. “I also wanted to warn you that I’m sending something to your array. Don’t worry. It’s just a message. Definitely safe, not that I expect my word to reassure you. You’ll be far too careful with it anyway.” 

 “Uh-huh,” I said, crossing my arms. “What exactly are you sending that’s so harmless?” 

 “Before all of this began, do you remember when I shared my reasoning for everything I’ve done?” Sanya asked. 

 How could I forget? The moment when one learned that aliens had destabilized their sun seemed fairly significant. 

 “What does that have to do with your message?” I asked. 

 “At the time, you asked me to give you all of Cerullis’ research into the issue, and I complied. Partially,” Sanya said. “I’m sending you everything I left out of that initial data dump.” 

 I’d known that first outpouring of information had looked light! Unfortunately, I hadn’t gotten the chance to question Sanya about it before she’d pulled her stunt at that fateful assembly, but apparently, the question had never been needed. 

 Still, I had to know. 

 “Why would you share such helpful data with me?” I said. “You’re smart, Sanya. Given Lutov’s current state, you must know I’ll be coming after you soon. So, why help me?” 

 I probably shouldn’t have said that. Warning a target about an imminent pursuit wasn’t a good idea, but like I’d said, Sanya was smart. Even if I’d said nothing, she’d have known what was coming. 

 “That’s good. As it should be,” she said. “Don’t you remember? I told you that you had to stop me.” 

 And why was that? What on earth did she get out of me…? 

 Coughing, I said, “You didn’t answer the question.” 

 “True,” Sanya said with a chuckle. “I’m giving you everything I have on our sun because you’re the only person I trust with it. No matter what I’ve done, you’ll make sure that Cerullis’ research on it continues because you’re incapable of letting the world burn. Lutov’s current mode of politics certainly won’t stop you, not when your hatred of me couldn’t accomplish it.” 

 “I don’t-” 

 I barely stopped myself from finishing that thought, grinding my teeth on the remaining words. 

 “I suppose I can accept that answer,” I eventually said. “Did you have anything else to add? Maybe you could make my life easier and surrender now.” 

 Snorting, Sanya said, “Do you think that’s likely to happen?” 

 Throwing my hands to either side of me, I couldn’t stop myself from grinning. 

 “I had to try.” 

 But then, there was silence, and after a while, I almost cut the connection with nothing further spoken. Sanya stopped me from doing that. 

 “Zaeden, if I may,” she said in a rush. “How’s…?” 

 “Korix?” I finished for her. 

 Because who else could she have been talking about? Over the time I’d known Sanya, he’d been the only person she’d consistently asked after. 

 “Busy. Besides that, I’m not sure. We haven’t spoken since he started his new project,” I said. “Why do you want to know?” 

 For a long count of ten, Snaya said nothing, and when she did speak, her voice was dead. 

 “He hasn’t told you who I am to him.” 

 Shaking my head, I said, “I know you’re connected, but that’s it. Never looked into it because I keep waiting for one of you to tell me about it.” 

 “Huh. Maybe he did mean what he said the last time we spoke,” Sanya said, as if to herself. 

 I didn’t know how to respond to that, so I waited, glancing over the plains around me. If I tried, I could almost let the wind’s rustle through the grass distract me from the tension of my sudden anticipation. Would Sanya unveil the mystery that had always lain between her and my life partner? 

 “I’m sorry, Zaeden. I know you’d like me to explain,” Sayna said, “but trust me. It’ll be better for everyone if he does it instead.” 

 Well, fuck. That wasn’t ominous at all. 

 “All right,” I simply said. 

 What else was I supposed to say? And what other topic of polite conversation, besides what we’d already discussed, existed between me and my enemy-not-enemy? 

 After an interminable pause, Sanya softly said, “Again, I’m sorry. I’ll see you soon.” 

 And she cut the connection. And I wanted to scream and kick the earth. 

 As usual, though, I buried that impulse, calmly withdrawing from my attempt at tracing the now broken connection. I trudged back to Baely, plopping to the ground when I reached her. I had a conversation to continue with her. 

 Rubbing my face, I said, “Eventually, sweetie, we all die. When I do, it may be a sad day for you, but you’ll survive it, and I’ll live on as a memory, one that you may someday share with your children. That’s the beauty of humanity. We’ve found a way to live long after we leave this world behind. With our stories, we can persist for a time, and even when those tales are inevitably forgotten, that’s ok. It’s the natural order of things.” 

 Slapping my hands into my lap, I crookedly smiled at Baely. 

 “But it’s best not to think about depressing things like that, not for long anyway,” I said. “Stay here, in the present, with me. I’m with you now, so let’s enjoy that, yes?” 

 The sour look on Baely’s face softened as they rolled their eyes. 

 “How am I supposed to ‘enjoy your presence’ when you’ll probably be snoring up a storm soon?” she said. “You are going to sleep, right?” 

 Smirking, I said, “I don’t know… maybe I should push myself a little harder. Prove to my daughter that I’m not the weakling she thinks I-” 

 “Stoooop!” Baely said, interrupting me. “Go to sleep, per . If you don’t take care of yourself the bare minimum, I won’t save you the next time you get hurt. 

 Oo, I’d love to tease her more, but instead, I gently grabbed her head, pulling her to where I could kiss her forehead. 

 “I love you, Baely,” I said. “I will always love you.” 

 With a cough, Baely said, “Love you too, dad. Now, will you let me go?” 

 Softly laughing, I released them before sinking against the tree. 

 “Please, keep watch,” I said. 

 But then, I gave in and let sleep’s oblivion carry me away.

Chapter 79: Suspicions Validated
After three months of repeating it, I was getting sick of having this conversation. Over my palm, Leski’s image wavered the slightest bit as she blew a strand of hair out of her eyes, and internally sighing, I waited for her to make the next move in this bout of verbal sparring. 

 “You’re sure they’re safe with you?” she said. “I know I keep asking that, but the last time they were with you on a mission, it didn’t end well.” 

 That was about what I’d thought. 

 “Yes, they’re safe,” I said. “Every time I have to fight, I leave them in a random, remote location before going in. Leski, you know as well as I do what while our job as parents is to keep Baely safe, we should also let her make her own decisions. She’s been exceedingly insistent about helping me, no matter how often I’ve asked her if she wouldn’t rather go home. It’s gotten to the point that forcing her to leave me would probably be harmful.” 

 Which were all things I’d said before. 

 Grimacing, Leski said, “I know that. I’m just worried, Zae.” 

 Weren’t we all right now? 

 “That’s perfectly understandable, given recent events. I’m worried too,” I said before grinning, “but isn’t that what we signed up for when we applied to be parents?” 

 Giggling, Leski tucked a disobedient strand of hair behind her ear. 

 “That’s fair enough,” she said. “How are things besides that? Anything I can do to help?” 

 Since she’d retreated from the Lokke Vitras side of my life? Not functionally. Even still… 

 “Just tell me that you love me, you amazingly clever woman,” I said. “I’m… at times, I just need a reminder that you support me, in all things.” 

 Snorting, Leski said, “Of course I love and support you, silly. How could I not? You’re the kindest and most giving person I know, besides perhaps Baely and Ko. Who wouldn’t love that?” 

 “Plenty of people. Trust me,” I said. 

 Besides, she was being too generous. Kind and giving? No matter how much I strove to be better, I was only those things when it suited me. 

 Leski raised her eyebrows with concern starting its splash across her face. 

 “Wow, someone’s going maudlin,” she said. “Will you be ok, love?” 

 After a vigorous headshake, I slapped my cheeks and smiled. 

 “You know me. I have to feel sorry for myself every so often,” I said, “and I’m always ok.” 

 Frowning, Leski narrowed her eyes at me. 

 “Yeah, ok. I believe that,” she sarcastically said, “but whatever. Where are you headed now? Can I know?” 

 “Unfortunately, no,” I said. “All I can say is that it will be closer to Xygek but…” 

 Chewing on the inside of my lip, I glanced over my shoulder at the public shuttle I was on. On this trip, I’d opted for this mode of transportation over a skycruiser because at times, exposing the ‘great Lokke Vitras’ to the general public was important, otherwise I started fading from their minds, in one way or another. 

 I was clearly the focus of this vehicle’s passengers now, though. No matter how much they studiously avoided looking at me, their stiff postures betrayed where their attention lay. 

 On the other side of the shuttle, Baely was hunched over a table, playing phansha with another woman. Slowly, they reached out to move one of their pieces, which made their opponent groan, but I had no sympathy for the girl. Baely’s identity should have been obvious when she and I had boarded the shuttle together. Did this girl think her Lokke Vitras wouldn’t teach his daughter the basics of strategy? 

 Shaking my head, I turned back to my raised palm and the depiction of my wife hovering over it. 

 “We may be coming home soon,” I said. “I only have two more locations to check, and after that, I’ll drop Baely off. I’m not sure how long I can stay, but we can at least check in.” 

 With her face brightening, Leski said, “How exciting! I’m looking forward to it. It’s too bad that Ko won’t be here, though.” 

 Ah, yes. Him. Nearly two months he’d been at the whole ‘construction of a sanctuary’ thing, and I hadn’t heard from him the entire time. Not a single message. It was like he’d gone deep cover, which concerned me. Since I’d taken his place as the Lokke Vitras, he hadn’t done any serious work for House Kolb, so why had he treated a supposedly diplomatic mission like it was something more critical? 

 “Has he contacted you recently?” I asked. 

 Shaking her head, Leski couldn’t hide her troubled expression. 

 “And that worries me, Zae,” she said. “Fragile as he’s become over the years, he shouldn’t be doing any intense mission work, not alone at least.” 

 No. No, he shouldn’t. 

 Shoving a summoned image of Korix during his last fit out of my mind, I said, “I’ll check on him after leaving Baely with you. All right?” 

 “That might be for the best,” Leski said. 

 With a sharp nod, I said, “Anything else? I’d like to get back to our daughter.” 

 Cocking her head, Leski graced me with a fond half-smile. 

 “I’m all good,” she said. “Have fun with Baely while you can, and keep them safe. I’ll see you soon?” 

 “You will,” I said. “I love you.” 

 “Love you too.” 

 Grinning, I cut the connection before curling my fingers into my palm. As I strode across the shuttle, people shied away from me, and ignoring that, I plopped beside my daughter as her opponent leaned forward, about to make her next move. 

 “I wouldn’t do that if I were you,” I said. “It’ll open your shukusen up for attack in another two moves or so.” 

 Jumping, the other girl fixed her eyes on me for a moment before leaping to her feet. 

 “I’m… going to get a drink,” she said. 

 Shaking my head, I watched her go. Had she thought I’d bite her or something? 

 “Sorry to interrupt your game, sweetie,” I said. 

 “It’s ok. I already had it in the bag,” Baely said. “I was only stringing it along because I liked looking at her.” 

 While I stared, they yawned, stretching their arms overhead, before leaning against me. Were we about to enter the time of their romantic and sexual awakening? 

 I mean… it would make sense. Baely was twenty-five. That might be a little late to start the dating process, but stranger things had happened. Considering how indifferent they’d always seemed about that part of life, I’d never really thought about what that would look like for them. 

 Not that I needed to worry about my daughter. Korix, Leski, and I had taught her how to have a safe sex life years ago while also explaining what she should look for in a potential dating partner. When she eventually decided to venture into that side of her life, she’d be fine. 

 Wrapping my arm around her shoulders, I squeezed her while she yawned again. 

 “How’s mom?” she asked on the tail end of it. 

 “Fine. Worried.” 

 Snorting, Baely laughed under their breath. 

 “Of course she is,” they said before looking up at me. “How long before we get there?” 

 “Unless something horrible happens, about an hour,” I said. 

 Nodding, Baely nestled deeper into my side. 

 “Then, I’m taking a nap,” they said. 

 And their body near immediately loosened into sleep. They must have started a dream sequence. 

 Hugging them to me, I settled into my own seat, watching our surroundings flash by through the window opposite me. The longer I continued to stare at it, the more the people below it shifted in place, but for once, I didn’t care about whether I was disturbing them. In this moment, I’d found a rare spot of peace. I had my daughter safe and with me. I was whole in body and mind and only slightly fatigued to boot. Soon, I’d be done with an unpleasant task, one I’d started months ago, and while I might need a significant amount of time for recovery once I was done, I’d be able to relax, at least partially. 

 I was fully aware of the myriad and varied problems that I was ignoring at the moment, but to life, the Collective, or whatever else might be controlling my fate, please. Let me have this peace, just for a short while. 

 A good half hour passed like this, and I was beginning to drop off myself when a connection established in my array. It was Talira, had to be. She was the only one who could do this without my permission. 

 “Hello, my Lokke Vitras,” she said. “I see you’ve almost finished with the task that I’ve assigned to you.” 

 Stiffening, I gently shook Baely off of me before hurrying to the semi-privacy found at the other end of the shuttle. I knew that tone of voice. I hated it because it usually preceded her giving me an order that I’d struggle to carry out. 

 Like what Sanya had warned me might happen, weeks ago. Shit. 

 “My pleasure to have served, my shukusen,” I said. “How may I do so again?” 

 With a soft sigh, Talira swallowed loud enough for me to hear it. 

 “I’m so sorry, Zae-zae,” she whispered with tears in her voice. 

 Oh… fuck. Squeezing my eyes closed, I braced for what was coming, and after a long moment, Talira filled the silence. 

 “My Lokke Vitras. I have a new mission for you…”

Chapter 80: The Worst Thing I've Ever Done
When Baely and I arrived at the dissenter’s island, Korix was waiting for us with his hands folded in front of his waist and an easy smile in place. This stance wavered when our daughter emerged from the skycruiser, running so that they could engulf him in a hug. 

 “Hi, dad!” they chirped into his chest. 

 If Korix was stiff while patting Baely’s head or if his smile seemed strained, only I should be able to notice it. 

 “Hi, sweetie,” he said. “I wasn’t expecting to see you today.” 

 And he just looked at me. 

 Grinning up at him, Baely said, “I wanted it to be a surprise.” 

 But then, the people who’d been waiting behind Korix started moving forward, and breaking his gaze, I hurried to greet them. 

 “Calia! Mother Time, you’ve done wonders with this place in such a short time!” I exclaimed. 

 As I embraced her, she laughed before gently pushing on me. 

 When I released her, she said, “Thank you, Lokke Vitras, but if it weren’t for your life partner here, we wouldn’t have gotten to this point so quickly.” 

 Smirking, I glanced over my shoulder at Korix. 

 “Yes, he’s always been handy like that,” I said. “There’s a reason I keep him around.” 

 Coming to a stop at my side, Korix pulled me against him. 

 “If I recall correctly, you were the one who was ‘being handy’ for the first three decades after we met,” he said. 

 But when he pressed his lips to mine, the kiss was cold and passionless. When he backed off, I play-swatted him. 

 “That was over a century ago!” I said before turning to Calia. “Now, would you mind showing me your lovely village? The shukusenth would like an update on the supplies you’ll need to reach self-sufficiency.” 

 With a bright smile, Calia said, “Of course. If you’ll come with me.” 

 We followed her into the midst of the buildings at her back. They truly had made good progress in the weeks since this project had begun. Around us, several shops and homes had already sprung off of the ground, and not far from here, I spotted the outline of a production facility on the horizon. I could see the potential here… 

 But I wasn’t thinking about this sanctuary’s future right now. 

 As if to frustrate me, my hallucination popped into being for the first time in several days. 

 “You should, though,” they said. “Not thinking about bad things is what got you here in the-” 

 Fuck the ‘I was not thinking’ phrasing. How about I would not think about this sanctuary’s future right now? 

 Slowly blinking, my hallucination shook their head and vanished, as had been the pattern over the last few weeks. Always, they prodded me about something I’d ‘forgotten’, complaining about my life-saving ability to just not think at times, before getting frustrated and leaving. It was… I didn’t know what it was, but in recent days, their appearances had been prompting an unnamable emotion in me, and my inability to identify it was annoying. But they weren’t important right now. 

 As Calia detailed her people’s construction plans for the next few weeks, I kept getting distracted by Baely and Korix. To anyone else, my life partner would appear attentive, fully invested in the conversation, but I could tell he was distracted. I was pretty sure I knew what was drawing his attention elsewhere, but again, that wasn’t something I could think about right now. 

 Meanwhile, Baely seemed fascinated by the village around her and its ‘renegade’ inhabitants. While on the way here, she’d chattered my ear off about this place, preoccupied with the idea that a group of people could become independent of Lutov and its Houses. I’d failed to interrupt her gushing, never pointing out how the exiled already held such a status. Not only had I enjoyed listening to her enthusiasm, but I hadn’t wanted to examine the feelings that it had been invoking in me. 

 In this moment, though, it was good to see her so happy, occasionally breaking into Calia’s explanation to ask a question. Once I was sure that those two could distract one another, I cleared my throat. 

 “Forgive me, but my shukusen is requesting a connection,” I said. ‘There’s no need to stop the tour, though! I’ll step aside, just for a moment, and catch up once I’m finished.” 

 Calia eyed me with suspicion, and after a moment, I grinned at her. 

 “I promise I’ll be on my best behavior,” I said. “You know me. You know I won’t mess up this deal when it’s at its most critical phase. Send one of your people with me if you’re worried. I won’t mind.” 

 Deflating, Calia said, “You’re right! I know. We’ll keep going. Don’t make me regret this, Zaeden.” 

 “I’d never,” I said, smirking. 

 With a huff, Calia turned on her heel to lead her group of dissenters and my daughter along, and I ambled between buildings until I found a secluded spot. Then, I leaned on a wall, banging my head on it, before closing my eyes. Korix wouldn’t be long. Extracting from that group without raising suspicion would be like child’s play for him, and I knew he had things to say to me. 

 Sure enough, a hand soon slammed into the wall beside my head, but I didn’t open my eyes. I knew he’d be towering over me, just as I knew the exact look of fury he’d be showing. It didn’t scare me. It didn’t even hurt to know I’d caused it. 

 Mission mode. The thief of normal, human emotion. 

 “What is Baely doing here?” he hissed. “It’s not safe, and- and this will destroy them!” 

 Did he think I didn’t know that? 

 With my eyes still closed, I calmly said, “I needed to sell the story, and all of Lutov knows how protective I am of our daughter. By bringing them with me, I’ve ensured that no one will question my involvement in what’s about to happen here, and you know, Ko, that we cannot be involved with this.” 

 With a sharp gasp, Korix pulled his hand off of the wall. 

 “Sell… the story? That’s why you…?” he said before clicking his tongue. “I’d forgotten what a monster the role of the Lokke Vitras can make of someone.” 

 Ouch. That had actually stung. 

 Opening my eyes, I ran them over Korix. With his fists trembling at his sides, he was red-faced, and there was such fire in his eyes. In typically emotionless him, this look was beautiful. And about what I’d expected. 

 “Sacrifice self. House before family. Lutov over all,” I said, slowly reciting the Lokke Vitras mantra before softening. “If you have a better way to handle this, I’m all ears. Trust me. I want Baely involved in this as little as you do.” 

 On those last words, the barest sliver of what I was feeling shoved its way through mission mode, and I quickly looked away. I couldn’t think about it, couldn’t acknowledge… 

 I had to stay calm. 

 After a moment, Korix sighed, and I glanced his way in time to see him rubbing his face. 

 “I don’t have an alternative for you,” he said into his hands. “Mother Time damnit all.” 

 I waited a good five seconds before lightly touching his arm. 

 “I’m sorry,” I softly said. 

 Chuckling, Korix shook his head before letting his hands fall to his sides. 

 “Why are you apologizing? No matter how much you might protest it, you didn’t choose this life, not really. I forced it on you, just like Talira did with me,” he said. “It’s one, messed up string of nasty cause and effect, and you’ve had very little control over it. You know it. I know it, and hopefully, Baely will too, someday.” 

 Suddenly, my shoes had become the most fascinating things in my surroundings. 

 “Yeah,” I breathed. “Hopefully.” 

 Korix nudged my head up with a crooked finger, examining me for a moment before clasping the back of my neck. He kissed me, all comfort and no passion in it, even if his grip on me became painfully tight during this. Pulling away, he rested his forehead on mine. 

 “I know you’ve had a rough time lately,” he said. “I’m… sorry for getting so angry.” 

 He still had a hard time with apologies, even after this long spent free of my role. 

 “It’s no excuse, but I’ve been struggling with a few of my own issues,” he continued. “I hope you can forgive me for my outburst.” 

 Chuckling, I circled my arms around his waist. 

 “There’s nothing to forgive. You were right to get angry, and I’d have been surprised if you weren’t,” I said, “but I do think that we should have a check-in chat once we’re done here. Not now, though. Kind of on a schedule, remember?” 

 Sighing, Korix nodded, bobbing my head with his, and stepped out of my embrace. 

 “Let’s go.” 

 I ignored how despairing those two words had sounded. 

 When we rejoined the group, Calia gave us an odd look, but Baely bounced up to us, all bright cheer and curiosity. I muttered a throwaway line, something reassuring I was sure, and gestured for the tour to continue. 

 And it did. I smiled and nodded and looked thoroughly intrigued by every improvement that these people had made to their home. Hell, this would hurt if I was letting myself feel it. 

 When a shadow fell over us, it came as a relief. Finally, this torture was almost over. I watched Calia and her comrades crane their necks to see what had caused this spot of shade, and when she saw the satellite hovering overhead, she snapped her head down, meeting my gaze. 

 “I’m so sorry,” I said. 

 But I didn’t have time for anything else. Grabbing Baely, I hauled them up and over my shoulders, and together, Korix and I took off for my skycruiser. He got there the instant before me, opening the door, and well-practiced in this routine as I was, I was offloading Baely from my shoulders a mere second after that opening had been made. I dove in after them with Korix right behind me, already reaching for the terminal. Reading my designator, it set off for the coordinates that I’d fed it as we’d landed earlier, taking off so quickly that the frame of my seat dug into my body. 

 Behind me, Baely starts babbling— 

 “Dad? Per? What…?” 

 —but I couldn’t reassure her yet. Accessing the feed of a recorder on the satellite, I waited, watching, until a line of plasma fell out of the mass of metal and onto the picturesque village below. We were still close enough that for a moment, the world around us flashed blue while wind batted the skycruiser around like a cat would with a yarn ball, and when silence eventually fell, I heard Baely’s teeth click together. 

 After ensuring that the satellite had done its job, I withdrew from the recorder’s feed, twisting to where I could see Baely. They were drained of color with their eyes peeled wide open, and seeing this, a dull ache throbbed through my heart. 

 Swallowing hard, they said, “What… just happened?” 

 Korix and I exchanged a glance, unsure how to reply, because Baely already knew the answer to her own question. We’d told her about my disastrous party, held decades ago, so many times that she had to know, but shock was a bitch. It could make even the brightest of people stupid. 

 Raising his eyebrows, Korix inclined his head to me, and I suppressed a huff. I knew this was my mess to handle. 

 “I’m not sure, sweetie,” I said. “When we saw the satellite, your dad and I just… reacted. There wasn’t a lot of time to think, but based off of what I saw, I’d say-” 

 “Cerullis glassed that village,” Baely whispered. “Because they… were traitors?” 

 Consumed by the idea, they were staring off into nothing, which was good. It meant they didn’t see me wince. 

 “That’s what I’d guess, yes,” I said. 

 Leaning over the divider, Korix laid a hand on Baely’s knee. 

 “Don’t worry, sweetie. Your father and I will figure this out,” he said, “and once we know who did this, we’ll bring them to justice.” 

 Stiffening, Baely fixed both of us with a glare and a snarl. 

 “You do that, dad. Make them pay.” 

 Patting her knee, Korix said, “We will. Now, get some rest. We’ll be home soon.” 

 Then, he fell into his seat, collapsing against the nearby door. I badly wanted to lean against him, enjoying the comfort of his warmth, but instead, I ensured that Baely had gotten preoccupied with something in their array—no matter how long that might have taken—before facing forward once more. There, I remained, frozen in place. 

 Make them pay, huh? I could start fulfilling that wish now.

Addendum
So, now you know, or at least, you should. I suppose I was vague enough that you might not understand everything I did yet. Or perhaps you skipped through that last section, like I hoped. One can always dream, right? 

 Right now, you must be wondering why I consider this the worst evil I’ve ever committed. I’ve murdered plenty of people in my time, and some of my missions kept the atrocities in Ibis going for centuries. So, why such shame and self-loathing for this? 

 The answer for that is… complicated. The first reason for it is that I made those people feel safe. I used my past relationship with Calia to make her trust me. I even used my own daughter to tell the right tale, for Mother Time’s sake! And then, I betrayed every single one of the people who were under my protection. 

 Also, what I’d done had reinforced something I’d already known: that Lutov and its many people would never tolerate someone from their society breaking away from it. Not only did I learn that the only way I could achieve my goal—freedom—would be through a pointless struggle, but I’d shown this fact to myself. 

 And lastly, unlike with every other awful thing I did with my life, I received no support afterward. Yes, Korix was there for me—he almost had to be, considering his own involvement in what had happened—but by that point, I’d almost taken his support for granted, something I’ve learned to greatly regret in the time since. 

 But the point is that everyone else in my life, even those closest to me, reacted with absolute disgust if they ever found out about this misdeed, out of all the other evils I’d committed. As much as that has affected me, it’s also been the most blatant example I’ve found to show how the Lutovish care more about themselves than the children of Ibis or any other living being on the planet. 

 I don’t know, Elliot. We humans are marvelous creatures, but we’re also supremely strange. Objectively, this might not have been the worst thing I ever did, but it’s definitely my most shameful secret, one that I still feel guilty about. 

 Because I got away with it. You’ll read about that next. That and a long, sad story involving someone I loved very much. 

 But we’re through the worst part, love. Many painful things are still to come, but the worst is over.  

 Before we can continue, though, we must finish this part of the story.

Chapter 81: The Fallout with Her
Leski was waiting in the hangar for us when we got home. If the outline of a familiar hallucination was standing beside her as well, I didn’t pay it much mind. 

 As soon as we set down, Baely scrambled out of the skycruiser, sprinting to their mother, and at their impact with her, Leski rocked in place. Korix and I stepped into the hangar much more slowly, all while Leski watched us with a question and an accusation in her eyes, and the hallucination at her back refused to look at me. 

 Meanwhile, Baely couldn’t stop babbling. 

 “-was awful, mom! So many people dead. How can that be real? I don’t understand. I thought… I thought death was a choice but-” 

 “Shh, sweetie. It’s ok,” Leski said. “I know it’s a lot right now, but it will be ok soon, all right?” 

 As Korix and I came to a stop, she never stopped staring at us, although she did briefly rub Baely’s back. 

 “You know how you wanted to spend some time with your friends a few weeks ago?” she continued. “You may not want to see specifically them right now, but how would you like to visit your grandparents? Getting away for a while would be good, and I think they’d like to see you.” 

 Sniffing, Baely lifted her face from where it had been buried in Leski’s chest, and seeing the tears dribbling over her cheeks, my hallucination flinched, clicking their tongue. 

 “You think so?” Baely said. 

 Nodding, Leski said, “I do. Why don’t you go pack a bag? I need to speak with your fathers, and then, we can head over there. Sound good?” 

 With another sniff, Baely hesitantly smiled. 

 “Yeah. I’d like that,” they said. 

 Wiping their eyes, they skirted around Leski to enter the house, and after hesitating for the briefest of moments, my hallucination followed them. Between those of us who remained, another tense moment of staring followed, but soon enough, my wife followed our daughter’s example, obviously expecting us to come with her. 

 Stuck in place, I said, “This is going to be a shitshow, isn’t it?” 

 “What do you think?” Korix said. 

 We headed inside. 

 Leski led us to the sitting room where years ago, we’d announced Baely’s imminent arrival, and after arranging ourselves, we sat in awkward silence for who knew how long before Leski leaned on her knees, rubbing her face. 

 “Please, tell me I’m wrong,” she said. “I got the emergency bulletin a few hours ago, and… please. Tell me I’m wrong.” 

 When I exchanged a glance with Korix, he lifted one shoulder the slightest amount, deferring the floor to me. Just fantastic. 

 Hesitantly, I asked, “Wrong about what?” 

 That was a good place to start, yes? 

 Peering above her fingers, Leski gave me an incredulous glance, and I deflated. She was right. Good place to start or not, that had been a dumb question. 

 Right now, I couldn’t say anything else, though, because my hallucination had wandered into the room, coming to a stop behind Leski. Obviously finished with Baely, they crossed their arms, scowling at me, and I couldn’t summon the words to dispel their displeasure. Why? 

 Shifting in place, Korix said, “What exactly do you want to know, love? You can’t expect us to read your mind, much as we can usually do that…” 

 With my hallucination’s eyes still fixed on me, Korix’s voice quickly faded to fuzz. Deep inside, a flare had risen, whipping through me, and dragging my eyes to my wife, I watched her, staring at us in accusation, with my teeth clenched. Without thinking about it, I stepped into the flow of Korix’s words. 

 “A few weeks ago, you told me to keep you out of Lokke Vitras business,” I said with my voice clipped. “Has that desire changed? If so, I’m more than happy to explain myself to you. If not, you’re asking about something you told me not to share with you. So, which is it? You can’t have it both ways, Leski.” 

 What had that been? Was I… angry for some reason? I’d certainly sounded that way while my hands, clenched in my lap, would indicate the same, but… why? And why would such anger pop up with her? 

 “You know exactly why, LV,” my hallucination softly said. 

 I ignored them. 

 Even surprised as I was by my outburst, I couldn’t relax, and Korix and Leski’s stares, one of them concerned and the other unreadable, weren’t helping with this. 

 “Just tell me if it was necessary,” Leski said. “Baely was right. So many people dead, Zae… tell me there was a reason for it. A good one.” 

 Ah… my hallucination had been right. I know what this was. I wasn’t angry with Leski, not really. Irritated that she’d wanted to have this conversation before I’d had a chance to gather myself? Sure. Angry? No. 

 This painful mix of fury and loathing, burning me up inside, was reserved solely for me. 

 Mother Time, I hated being so self-aware at times. 

 “Self-aware, my ass,” my hallucination huffed, turning aside. “It’s only ever about what you want to know.” 

 That was concerning. Not the time for it, though. 

 Unfortunately, when it came to Leski’s question, I didn’t know how to answer her. I supposed I could lie. 

 “Not a good idea, and you know it, LV.” 

 I could lie. Telling Leski what she wanted to hear would be so easy, but… my hallucination was right. That wasn’t our style. Besides, if I tried to do that, she’d probably see through it. 

 So. The truth. 

 “I don’t know how necessary it was,” I stiffly said. “In many ways, the reasoning behind my orders was sound, but I… didn’t agree with it. I went along with it anyway, though, because I trust Talira when it comes to these things and… I’m actually not sure why I did as I was told. Habit? Duty? I don’t know. I know that the dissenters posed a threat to Lutov, no matter how slight or vague. I know that it’s my job to deal with threats like that, but that’s all I’m certain of. I wish I could give you more.” 

 Snorting, my hallucination said, “Uh-huh. Sure.” 

 With that, they disappeared. Meanwhile, a host of expressions flew across Leski’s face while it drained of color, but in the end, she went exceptionally blank. 

 “I see,” she said. 

 And if any emotion clouded her voice or mind, I couldn’t detect it. 

 Standing, she said, “Baely and I will stay with your parents for a while. I’ll let you know when we’ll be home as soon as I’ve figured that out.” 

 Jerking each foot in front of the other, she moved toward an exit, and I watched her go with my heart in my throat. Was this it? I’d pushed my wife hard over the last year. Would this be the final shove needed to tear her away from me? 

 From us. Hell, Korix looked just as devastated as I felt right now. 

 When Leski stopped at the exit, glancing back at us, I almost burst into relieved tears at how much her face had softened. 

 “I do love you both,” she said, “even still.” 

 Then, she walked out of the room, leaving me and Korix in silence.

Chapter 82: We Had to Do It
I couldn’t move. If I did, I was afraid I might collapse into a puddle on the floor, and I didn’t want that. Better to stay numb until this horrid feeling, the one I was blatantly ignoring, faded. Right? 

 Beside me, Korix said, “Mission’s over, Zae. Shall we do dinner?” 

 He made no move to touch me, probably knowing that I’d lash out if he tried, while I considered what he’d proposed. A return to old traditions might be nice. Perhaps such a visit to the foundations of my training could stabilize me, so I nodded. 

 As we headed for the kitchen, Korix and I stayed out of Leski and Baely’s way. I didn’t know about him, but not only was I eager to avoid another confrontation with them but I had the distinct feeling that right now, my presence would only contaminate them in some way. 

 When we reached the kitchen, my hallucination was leaning against its door frame with their arms crossed. To avoid them, I awkwardly shuffled through the entrance, which earned me an odd glance from Korix, but other than that, I ignored the anomaly and their oddities. They sat at the kitchen table with their chin in their hands while Korix and I prepped dinner. 

 Even with them staring, however, cooking came as a relief, as it had always done. Something about working in tandem with someone I loved had been and would forevermore be the best balm for the spark of my soul, even if it could never heal everything. 

 Once we were done, Korix and I slid into our seats, and as they made room for us, my hallucination groused under their breath. With that, though, it was time for the next step in this protocol. As I stared at my food, I didn’t know if I could complete it. 

 “We did everything right, but it was also all wrong,” I eventually said. “How can I find praise for us in the act of something so horrible?” 

 Korix said nothing in response. He just laid his hand, palm up, on the table, and hiccupping on a barely restrained sob, I curled my fingers through his. Fuck, why was I being so emotional? 

 Squeezing my hand, Korix drew my attention to him, making sure I was holding his gaze before he spoke. 

 “Talk to me, Zae. Tell me everything.” 

 With a bitter laugh, I shook my head. 

 “What can I say that you don’t already know?” I said. “You have to be dealing with something similar.” 

 Again squeezing me, Korix said, “Yes, I’m sure you’re right. Even still. Please, tell me?” 

 With a sigh, I slumped in my seat, trying to decide where to start, and jabbing me in the side, my hallucination nearly made me jump. I didn’t feel their finger, of course, but the sudden motion startled me nonetheless. 

 “Talk, LV,” they said. “You know it always helps you.” 

 Pursing my lips, I narrowed my eyes at them. Hadn’t they just been upset with me? Why were they giving me advice now? 

 “Zae?” Korix said. 

 Shaking myself, I said, “It’s all what you’d expect after a mission like that. Guilt. Shame. Hating myself, although the intensity of these things is much worse than usual. That’s why I’ve detached so much, which you’ve probably already noticed. Also…” 

 Unsure about sharing this, I eyed my hallucination, but rather than giving me an answer to my uncertainty, they only grinned and wiggled in place, and I sighed again. 

 “I’m seeing Damari’s ghost,” I finished. 

 Korix briefly increased the pressure on my hand before letting out a breath. 

 “How long?” he asked. 

 “Since shortly after they died.” 

 I refused to look at him, keeping my eyes fixed on my dead friend, and they stuck their tongue out at me. 

 “That took longer than I expected,” Korix said under his breath. 

 When I jerked toward him, he waved away my incredulity. 

 “I didn’t mean anything by that. Just noting my surprise is all,” he said. “I started seeing my host of the dead within a couple of decades as the Lokke Vitras, although it has always been more literal for me. What about you? Is it like Damari’s actually here?” 

 “Sometimes, it is,” I said before shaking my head, “but most of the time when I see them, it’s like I’m imagining what they’d be doing in that moment, even if that act also feels completely out of my control. They certainly seem to behave in concordance with how I’m feeling about myself, which is strange, but that’s all I’ve noticed about them, even six months later. Silly as it is, I keep pushing addressing the issue of them to the side.” 

 “Hmm.” 

 Korix leaned back, although he kept ahold of my hand. 

 “Well, that’s good, isn’t it?” he said. “It means it’s probably under your control, at least in part.” 

 Much as I’d like to doubt that, I knew he was right. Every day, it might seem like my hallucination had taken on more self-autonomy, but even still, they didn’t seem as separate from me as, say, some of my personas. 

 Vigorously nodding, my hallucination said, “That’s true. I’m not like them. I’ll be gone as soon as you’re ready to let me go.” 

 Then, why weren’t they gone already? Damari was no longer here. I knew that. Mother Time, I’d accepted it. I had! 

 No. I couldn’t engage with my hallucination again, not even tangentially like this. Turning my back on them, I covered a bundle of fingers with my free hand. 

 “I hope you’re right, but in the end, it doesn’t matter. I’ll handle it, as always,” I said. “Why don’t you talk to me? Surely, you have something to share too.” 

 Like… maybe his connection to Sanya, although I wasn’t holding out hope for that. If everything about our current scheme went as planned, that woman would become our last loose end, making it imperative for me to know how he’d react when I confronted her, but given how long he was taking to talk about her, I was starting to think he’d never open up about it, burying it deep inside instead. That was his modus operandi, after all, one that I partially imitated. 

 “Yeah… it’s not ‘only partially',” my hallucination drawled. “I swear you two are-” 

 And yes, Korix was looking at me like he knew I was changing the subject, wanting to avoid our current conversation topic. Still, he answered. 

 “Same as you, like you guessed. Guilt. Wishing I’d found a better way to handle this mess. There’s not much we can do about it now, though.” 

 Shit. No matter how much he might have tried to hide it, I’d heard the pain in his voice. And I’d caused that pain. If I’d just handled my shit months ago, as the Lokke Vitras should, he wouldn’t be struggling with this right now. 

 With a crooked smile, Korix reached over to brush my jawline. 

 “It’ll get better,” he said. “You know that, right? Just give it time.” 

 Yes, I knew this pain would fade, just as it had with every other evil thing that I’d been called to do. Still… 

 Nuzzling his hand, I said, “Sometimes, I need the reminder, Ko, same as you.” 

 When I met his eyes, I held that gaze, even while wanting to look away. 

 “It will get better,” I continued. 

 It had to. 

 Korix’s grip on me tightened, and he pulled me to him, pressing his lips to mine. The kiss was gentle at first, probably meant as a simple comfort to me, but before I could process what had happened, that changed. I was on my back with him hovering over me, and hell, that ferocity! How well did I know it. 

 “Ok,” I softly said. 

 With that word, I wasn’t simply giving him permission to do as he liked with me, although it was largely that. I was also saying that he didn’t have to hold back this time. Not that he usually did, but right now, there was enough nasty emotion in us both that restraining ourselves might be wise. Even so, I told him not to do it, and after a pause, he echoed what I’d said. 

 So, when he dove down to kiss me, I wasn’t surprised at the sharp pain that bloomed in my nose or the ache that throbbed in my teeth, making my eyes water. I also had no problem with putting all of my strength into tossing him off of me, going after him with all speed. 

 It was almost a fight, this little rendezvous of ours: a physical altercation and not one of the pleasant kinds. At times, he held me down so firmly that I couldn’t breathe, and Mother Time knew how many scratch and bite marks I left on him. Hell, our arrays would be busy healing bruises for a good five minutes after we were done. 

 But that wouldn’t happen for a while. For a while, we were stuck in these primal urges, giving and receiving the only form of punishment that was appropriate or the least bit healthy right now. 

 Even with that, I didn’t feel much better once we reached a conclusion of sorts. Panting, Korix rolled off of me, and eventually, I propped myself up on the wall beside him, examining the room. 

 “What a mess,” I said. 

 Making a face, Korix half-heartedly chopped at the air. 

 “I’ll take care of it,” he said. “You need to check in with Talira, should have done it as soon as you dropped me and Baely off. I didn’t mean to distract you for this long, but… you seemed to need it.” 

 “I did, so don’t even think about taking the blame for the delay,” I said with a rueful grin. 

 But then, I had to consider what he’d said, and with my lips going thin, I banged my head on the wall. 

 “Damn,” I breathed. “Talira…” 

 I didn’t want to see her, not after what she’d ordered me to do. Not when I was afraid of how I might react to her presence. 

 “You’ll be fine,” Korix said. 

 Nudging me to face him, he kissed me, gentle and firm, and when he pulled away, he brushed a thumb under my eye, softly smiling. 

 “I can never love you, Zae,” he said. “Now, go.” 

 He jerked his head toward the kitchen’s exit, and with a sigh, I got to my feet and gathered my clothes. 

 The flight to Xygek was a special type of hell for me. Apparently, the pseudo self-harm that I’d participated in with Korix hadn’t been enough for me because I kept finding my hand drifting for a knife, hiding in its familiar place between the divider and my seat. Every time I caught myself doing this, I hauled my hand back into my lap, tightly holding it, but that didn’t stop me from trying again. 

 Faces kept flashing in my mind’s eye, especially Calia’s. Hell, I’d helped kill her. She’d been a wonderfully kind woman, someone I’d dated, for Mother Time’s sake, and I… 

 Needless to say, I was shaky when stepping onto the landing pad at the top of House Kolb’s headquarters. Thankfully, no one was there to see it. Night had fallen while I was on my way here. 

 I trudged through the dark toward a lift that would take me down one floor, unable to take my eyes off of the ground once I’d scanned the rooftop, and after I'd reached Talira’s office, I leaned against the wall behind her desk with my arms crossed, blankly staring out at the view beyond. Seeing and not seeing. 

 At some point, I must have sent a message to Talira, letting her know that I was here, because I eventually noted her reflection in the glass, even with the black of night and city lights as its only background. 

 “Zae-zae…” 

 She should know better than to use that nickname with me right now. I didn’t care to receive any comfort from her, whether in this moment or- or perhaps ever again. 

 “Did the other Houses believe our bullshit story?” I asked instead. 

 As Talira sighed, I watched her rest her hands on her hips and shake her head, probably frustrated with my behavior. 

 That was too bad. 

 “They did. After this last misstep of theirs, a majority of the shukusenth have called for a public hearing to discuss disbanding House Cerullis. That’ll be two days from now, and afterward, we’ll have another emergency assembly,” Talira said before wincing. “We do have one problem, though. Your brother suspects the truth, but convincing him to look the other way should be simple. I’ll promise Zan control over most of Cerullis’ satellites, and considering how easily those could keep Ostiu in line, the offer should satisfy him.” 

 And wasn’t that idea even more salt in already festering wounds? 

 Sliding my gaze back to the city, I said, “I’m glad everything’s concluding to your satisfaction, then, even if Phen’s being stubborn. Damn. This is the second time he’s caused trouble in a year. He’ll always be a problem for me, won’t he?” 

 The thought made me hug myself tighter, and joining me at the window, Talira hesitantly rested a hand on my shoulder. 

 “Siblings usually are,” she said. 

 Turning away, she examined the city that we both fought to protect, letting the silence speak for us. 

 After quite a while, she said, “You know what comes after the assembly, yes?’ 

 I nodded, even as I fought off considering what she was referring to. Biting her lip, Talira once more faced me, leaning a shoulder against the window. 

 “Has Korix shared Sanya’s relationship to him yet?” she asked. 

 Fuck . That wasn’t good. 

 Slowly, I shook my head, and hanging hers, Talira kicked the floor. 

 “Mother Time damnit all, I was hoping he’d get to it before now,” she said, as if to herself, before peering at me, “but I can’t delay any longer.” 

 After sucking on her lip for a moment, Talira gestured to her desk. 

 “Take a seat,” she said. “I have a story, and unfortunately, it won’t be one that you’ll enjoy.”

Chapter 83: A House Disbanded
Absolute chaos had been unleashed at this most momentous of gatherings, and it wasn’t helping me with maintaining my grip on my focus. As it often had over the last two days, my mind kept drifting, mostly to the glassing of an island or to a tale that Talira had told me in her dark office, and this was… unfortunate. I needed to stay in the here and now. 

 Even if the here and now was currently hectic, to put it lightly. 

 Today’s proceedings had started simply enough. The relevant parties had gathered, including the shukusenth and several high Strata from the remnants of House Cerullis. A neutral representative had presented the evidence of that House’s recent machinations, most of which their high Strata had tried, unsuccessfully, to refute or deny. 

 Of course, I’d expected they’d have no success with that. Kolb's best had been in charge of the various forms of operative work that had ended with a satellite positioned over the dissenters' island. 

 This had, however, led to our current site of chaos where the high Strata of House Cerullis and the people presiding over this legal case were leaning over their various tables with their fists ground into wooden surfaces. Red-faced, they were trying to shout over one another, all of which had been happening for a good five minutes. 

 Sitting beside one another, Talira and I had silently watched the debacle. We weren’t the only ones who were nonplussed by what was happening. Several others, members from all Houses, had joined us in our observation, but some of those people had started looking for us to provide a sense of direction. 

 Sighing through her nose, Talira turned to me. 

 “My Lokke Vitras, silence this rabble for me, if you please,” she said. 

 Which was the order I’d been waiting for. After getting to my feet, I bowed to Talira— 

 “Yes, my shukusen.” 

 —and then, I marched in between the squabbling parties, crossing my arms. Within a minute, the chamber had gone quiet as the grave. 

 Mother Time, much as it was useful, I hated the power I held over people. No one should be able to silence an argument with their presence alone. Shaking my head, I said not a word, merely returning to my seat, and while I took it, Talira stood. 

 “Fighting amongst ourselves is useless,” she said with her voice booming in the cavernous chamber. “If we fight, we stagnate, and Lutov suffers, as our predecessors once proved. Before the war with those from beyond the stars, this land was divided between four nations, nations that fought. Nations that stagnated . This stagnation almost saw humanity wiped out of existence. So, let’s not fight now. Let’s look at the evidence before us, rationally draw conclusions from it, and form a plan to move forward that will satisfy all partied involved. 

 “In this matter, however, I would remind you that as ever, House Kolb remains impartial, looking only to the safety and security of greater Lutov. If necessary, we will see that a resolution comes about this day, although I hope that everyone here can reach such a conclusion without our… persuasion. 

 “Now, if we could return to the presented evidence, reviewing it calmly, my First Stratus and I will continue with our watchful observation.” 

 Wow. Had she seriously just threatened the other Houses with retaliation if they didn’t start acting like rational grown-ups? I’d never have done that, too wary of disturbing Lutov’s fragile peace, but these were special circumstances. Everyone else seemed to recognize this as well, which again reminded me of how well Talira could read a room, and even with the Cerullis members occasionally acting as if they were barely keeping it together, today’s show got back on the road. 

 Talira’s threat hovered over us throughout the rest of the gathering, quickly getting us through a review of the evidence, and once that was finished and the Cerullis members had made their case, their judge and jury disappeared into another room to discuss everything. 

 Legal matters as significant as this were usually given into the hands of several randomly selected citizens, which had left a bunch of anxious, powerful people in the chamber with me and Talira. Not a pleasant place to be. Regardless, I tried to keep things light. 

 Glancing over the chamber, I said, “Never thought I’d set foot in this place.” 

 Although they usually had to go through lengthy discussions at an assembly first, proceedings like this, where we were considering disbanding a House, took place in a nondescript building sitting at one end of Xygek’s main park. The interior of this place consisted only of this plain chamber and a small, attached room where rulings on these matters were made. In the time I’d been alive, the building had only been used four times. 

 The first time had been to exile shukusen Alezand shortly after the Ancients Crisis. At the time, Korix had still technically been the Lokke Vitras, so he’d been the one who’d attended that trial. 

 The second had been similar: exiling shukusen Arion and appointing my brother as Zan’s new Head of House. By some miracle, Talira had kept me out of that one because I’d still been in the middle of my month of recuperation. 

 During the place’s third use, when Sanya had been removed from her position, I’d been too busy elsewhere to attend, but now, today’s most momentous of occasions had come, and here I was. 

 While watching the other shukusenth, Talira cocked her head, shifting in her seat. 

 “I’m shocked that you haven’t been here before now, honestly,” she said. “It’s been a rocky century.” 

 I snorted, which had her curiously eyeing me. Rocky. That was how she’d describe the last hundred years? 

 “What I wouldn’t give for another twenty-five years of peace and quiet,” I said. 

 Sighing, Talira patted my arm before returning to her examination of the chamber. 

 “You and me both.” 

 This trial’s judge and jury took much less time than one would think to decide Cerullis’ fate, but then, Kolb had heavily stacked the deck against that poor House. When the group stepped back into the chamber, a woman separated herself from them while the rest took their seats. After clearing her throat, she folded her hands in front of her. 

 “Quick as this decision may have been, it was not an easy one to make,” she said. “After all, disbanding a House would have been unthinkable to everyone before today, I’m sure.” 

 I wasn’t so certain about that, considering how badly I, in general, wanted the entire House system removed. Despite the seeming fanaticism about it that I’d found in everyone else I’d met, one or two of these people must have considered the eradication of a rival House at some point as well. 

 “These are, however, extraordinary circumstances,” the woman continued. “A little over one hundred years ago, House Cerullis first set foot on the path to today’s plight by scheming with the Ancients to destroy the rest of Lutov. Their plan was disrupted, in large part thanks to our Lokke Vitras—” 

 She nodded to me, and I inclined my head in acknowledgment, refusing to think about that awful period of my life. One that was nearly matched by my current circumstances, actually. 

 “—and the House was largely forgiven because those plans had been made and contained within their leadership and not among the lower Strata. We also must consider the creation of a wormhole between us and the sun, an experiment that Cerullis completed without the approval of the other Houses, and if that weren’t enough, something similar to the Ancients Crisis has happened again within the last twenty years. 

 “Frankly, the revelation of that disaster’s details shocked me and my fellow adjudicators. While we may trust those of you who lead us, learning how thoroughly you hid the development and distribution of Cerullis’ neurotoxin from the rest of Lutov disturbed us, to say the least.” 

 If only they knew. Maybe if the rest of the homeland understood how much they’d been kept in the dark about this, it could be the chink I needed to more rapidly change things, but I wasn’t sure how to release that information without causing undue chaos. 

 “That concealment of critical information isn’t why we’re here, however. The neurotoxin itself is,” the woman continued. “That and the final straw: the elimination of all those who saw fit to disagree with their House’s insidious strategy, a disagreement that’s proven to be a discussion point among all of Cerullis’ Strata, not solely those who dissented.” 

 I found her outrage at this ‘final straw’ a little funny, considering how many singular individuals I’d exiled, stripped of House, or occasionally killed over the years for having similar views. But I shouldn’t let that distract me right now. 

 “Given these crimes and how obsolete Cerullis’ function has become in recent years—so much so that the other Houses could easily assimilate its useful remnants—we didn’t have much choice with regards to these proceedings.” 

 Taking a deep breath, the woman squared her shoulders and held her head high. 

 “As of this moment, House Cerullis is disbanded,” she said. “We absolve its remaining members of their crimes. They will, however, be folded into Lutov’s five other Houses. This is our ruling.” 

 Once more, the chamber erupted into chaos while the woman who’d been speaking deflated and hid among her fellows. Detachedly, I watched House Kolb members hurry to restore order with every bit of me turned toward one idea. 

 Welp. I’d certainly helped to make history now. Mother Time damn it all. 

 Releasing a breath, Talira clapped my shoulder before climbing out of her chair. 

 “I need to get ready for the assembly,” she said. “You stay here until things have calmed down. Then, join me and the others.” 

 With my eyes pinned on a weeping, former member of House Cerullis, I faintly said, “Yes, my shukusen.” 

 Again patting my shoulder, Talira leaned down to my ear. 

 “You did good, Zae-zae,” she whispered. 

 Then, she left me. I didn’t know how long I watched angry, frightened people scream at one another, only stopped from violence by the silent sentinels standing ready to keep the peace. 

 I never moved to quell this storm. The coming assembly couldn’t start without me, and while I wasn’t typically someone who wasted another person’s time or annoyed the shukusenth, I didn’t care about that today. I needed a brief spell to just… sit. Watch. Do nothing. 

 If I was also doing everything in my power to delay an order that I knew I’d soon receive, I’d never admit it. 

 Eventually, people started trickling out of the chamber, slowly siphoning off the turbulent energy found there, and when the storm finally died, only a handful of people, seemingly lost or otherwise bewildered, were left, although one of them was a surprise to me. 

 Striding to me with purpose, Pheniks jerked his head toward an exit. 

 “Join me?” he said. “We’re headed to the same place, after all.” 

 Those words broke me free of the spell that was keeping me pinned in place, and after shaking myself, I hesitantly grinned at my brother. 

 “After you,” I said. 

 The park outside looked exactly the same as it had before I’d entered the building at my back. People were wandering through it, oblivious to the significance of recently concluded events. In a way, it made Cerullis’ disbanding insignificant. I badly wished that it actually was. 

 As we ambled along the park’s outskirts toward House Vaessa’s headquarters, Pheniks kept his eyes fixed on his feet, hanging his head. I wasn’t sure what had him so contemplative, but he’d tell me soon enough. My brother had never been able to keep his thoughts to himself for long. 

 While I waited for him to speak, I scanned our surroundings with my gaze catching on a tower toward the far end of the park: House Cerullis’ headquarters. What would we do with that building, now that it no longer had a purpose? Would it be demolished as easily as the institution it had once housed, or would we find another use for it? 

 Perhaps because of a chance encounter I’d once had with him at the foot of that building, the sight of it brought Fyester, one of my long-dead partners, to mind. What would he think of what had happened today, given that he’d belonged to House Cerullis when he’d been alive? If he were still with us, would his living, breathing state have given me the strength I’d needed to refuse Talira’s order? And what would he think of me now? Would this have been the last evil required for me to earn his enmity? 

 Probably not. When he’d been alive, that man couldn’t bring himself to hate me, even after I’d chosen to let him die. 

 Taking a deep breath, Pheniks drew me out of my thoughts—thank Mother Time—and I eyed him while he bit his lips. 

 With an explosive sigh, he said, “I’m concerned by recent events, Zae. A lot of what’s happened in the last few years has been frightening, certainly, but right now, I’m most… worried… about how the balance of power has shifted between the Houses.” 

 Mother Time, he was being so careful with his word! I silently acknowledged this rarity, even as I turned a rueful grin on him. 

 “Care to elaborate?” I drawled. 

 Pheniks stopped short, balling his hands into fists, before pinning me in place with his fiery eyes. 

 “Don’t play stupid,” he hissed. “Kolb’s become too powerful, and you know it.” 

 There, my brother was, saying what he was thinking without any padding to soften his words’ blow. Still, I considered what he’d said with my head cocked. Until now, I had not, in fact, recognized the reality of what my brother had proposed, too busy with fixing my fuck up, but… he was right. 

 Hell. 

 Frowning, I said, “That may be true for now, but we are in the middle of a crisis, and handling crises is Kolb’s purpose. Once things have stabilized, Talira will have her House step back into the shadows.” 

 Or I certainly hoped that she did. If she refused to do so, it would be concerning, as Pheniks had put it. What would I do then? 

 My brother’s demeanor echoed my doubt back to me. 

 “Maybe,” he said. 

 Shaking his head, he started off again, and until we'd reached House Vaessa’s headquarters, nothing else was spoken between us. Once we were in the place’s lobby, however, Pheniks paused once more. 

 “Zae…. you know I love you, right?” he said. 

 Rapidly blinking, I froze, wondering where that had come from. Pheniks was usually horrible at expressing how he felt. 

 “Yes…?” I said, lifting an eyebrow. 

 Nodding, Pheniks found something else to occupy his gaze. 

 “I just…” he said. “I don’t know what I’ll do if Kolb decides to hold onto their new power. I know you don’t think they will, but what if they do and you- you side with them?” 

 He peered at me from the corner of his eye. 

 “What happens then?” 

 That was a good question. After considering it for a moment, I shrugged. 

 “I sincerely hope it doesn’t come to that, Phen,” I said, “because if it did, I, like you, am not sure what I’d do.” 

 I’d meant that exactly as I’d said it. In the proposed scenario, I had no clue how I’d react. A lot of it would depend on details I didn’t have now, but wide-eyed, Pheniks recoiled from me as if I’d threatened to hit him. 

 “I see,” he said. 

 His throat worked for a moment, but before I could explain what I’d meant, my brother shook himself. 

 “Let’s go. The others are probably waiting for us.” 

 He made a beeline for a lift, and biting my lip, I watched him go. Had I just unintentionally alienated my little brother again? 

 Goodie. Add it to my ever-growing pile of recent mistakes.

Chapter 84: Politics Again
Unlike in the chamber I’d just left, a deadly quiet infected this assembly. Each of the shukusenth was perched on their seat, refusing to look at the empty chair in their midst. They’d done this for the last few months, but their avoidance of it was rigid now, a blatant denial of the reminder that their power could be taken away. 

 When we entered the room, Pheniks and I quickly took our place. Considering we’d been the only ones still missing, the assembly should have started then, but it took several minutes before anyone could find their voice. 

 “I can’t believe that just happened,” Marza eventually said. 

 I wasn’t sure if her comment had been made for anyone’s benefit but her own, but it at least got the ball rolling. 

 “Well, it did,” Raelle snapped while crossing her arms, “and now, we have to deal with the consequences. How are we supposed to deal with such a large influx of new members into our Houses? To this point, those additions have been small, enough that it hasn’t stressed our resources, but with this…” 

 Huffing, Pheniks leaned back in his chair. 

 “I’d assume that we’ll split the remnants of Cerullis’ resources, the same as its members, to cover them,” he said. “Or am I wrong?” 

 At the mention of an unexpected gain in their Houses’ apparent wealth, Raelle brightened while Marza licked her lips with her eyes shining. 

 “Then, the question is how we move forward with this split,” she said. 

 With no question in her voice, Talira said, “That task should go to House Kirst. As well as being the most trustworthy among us, they’re best suited for the job.” 

 At that, every eye turned to shukusen Orin, at which he sheepishly smiled. Even weeks after his near-death experience, he looked worn and haggard, but that made sense. Apart from Talira, he was the oldest person here, and from what I understood, he’d been due for a standard telomere readjustment, which would have reset his body’s age, before this latest run-in with death. Stasis and rapid regeneration drugs could only do so much to heal a body that was on the verge of expiring. 

 Even so, Orin did a decent job of projecting ease and capability to the rest of us, and hell, if I wasn’t glad for it. Maybe the two of us would have a chance at a friendly working relationship in the future. 

 “It’s true that Kirst still has the House rotation records of Cerullis’ members, and we can easily obtain the results of their placement exams within said House. Both sets of information will be essential when it comes to getting those displaced people into a new home,” he said. “The task would, however, be a stress on my House. We’re not equipped for much more than educating the young. Even with that, though, we’ll happily take on the task, but only if everyone agrees that it’s for the best.” 

 Snorting, Raelle said, “Please. I doubt anyone else wants to handle the problem.” 

 With my lips thinning, I glared at her—that had been rude—even while Orin deflated. 

 “As I said, we’ll accept the task if no one objects, which no one seems to,” he said. 

 He glanced around as if hoping someone would contradict him before shaking his head. 

 “With that decided, I was hoping we could shift our focus to an issue that I believe to be of greater concern,” he said, turning to my grandmother. “Talira, I don’t mean any disrespect with this. I’m sure we’re all aware that your actions during this crisis have been within your purview, but several of us here were wondering when Kolb intends to take a step back.” 

 So, Pheniks wasn’t the only one who’d noticed that. Based on the uncomfortable shifting of everyone around me, I seemed to have been the last to realize it, which damn. No matter how busy I’d been, that was still sad. 

 As if totally at ease, Talira leaned forward to rest her folded hands on the table. 

 “Kolb will return to normal operations as soon as this crisis is over, which it currently is not,” she said. “We still need to plug one, final breach in Lutov’s security: Sanya. Once she’s out of the picture, we’ll ‘take a step back’, as you put it.” 

 At those words, I stiffened, but fortunately, I wasn’t the only one to do so. My reason for it might have been different from the others, but their reactions hid the vibrant emotion that had spurred mine. 

 With her face turning nasty, Marza slapped her palms on the table. 

 “And when are these supposed threats going to end, Talira?” she growled. “So far as we can tell, you mean to hold us in perpetual terror of them, all so you can hold onto the power you’ve gained.” 

 Orin shot a hand out to rest over hers. 

 “What she means is how do we know that you’ll do as you’ve claimed?” he asked, keeping his voice carefully controlled. “It would reassure the rest of us if you showed some proof of these intentions.” 

 So, he saw it too. Before now, only Cerullis, with their satellites, had served as a counter to Kolb’s power, and now, that House was gone. Not only that but control of their satellites was still in flux. 

 The other Houses had minor ways to check Kolb’s power too, of course. For instance, if Drav ever refused to do their job, Lutov’s rate of population growth would grind to a halt, which could be disastrous in the long term, and Zan had technology like clockwork fiends that would be annoying to eliminate. In both cases, however, Talira could send in operatives and other Kolb members to force the Houses into line. It might be bloody, but they could do it. 

 In essence, Talira held near absolute power in this moment. With it, she could use this opportunity to change Lutov in whatever way she saw fit. 

 Given this and that she seemed to agree with many of my societal views, why was I hoping that she didn’t use her power? Changing Lutov in this way seemed… wrong. Why? 

 Softly chuckling, Talira relaxed into her seat, folding her hands on her belly. 

 “I hear and acknowledge your concerns,” she said. “In answer, I promise that in the coming days, I will provide each of you with a short list of some of the operative working in your Houses, to do with as you will, and this will only be my first step in returning things to normal. Once Sanya has been handled, Kolb will once more return to the shadows. It’s where we work best.” 

 As the other shukusenth and First Strata considered this, a message flashed into my array. 

 Remember, Zae-zae. The goal is to change their hearts and minds, it read. If a new way of life is forced on Lutov, it’ll never stick, falling apart too quickly instead. Real change requires patience, resolve, and the ability to see a true opening when it presents itself, which this isn’t. 

 Ah. That explained my previous hesitation. Despite my resolve that Lutov’s House system was wrong, the idea of forcing my worldview onto someone else made me feel dirty, almost as much as I did after a particularly brutal mission. 

 “Well, I don’t know about the rest of you, but that’s enough to satisfy me for now, and I’m not just saying that because Talira and I are family,” Pheniks said. “Which brings us to the question of what to do with Sanya.” 

 As he’d finished speaking, my brother’s eyes, along with many others in the room, had drifted to land on me, and I silently sighed. Why phrase it like that? Why not simply order me to take care of this filthy bit of business? It would certainly help ease my conscience. Not that I deserved that. 

 With almost harsh bemusement, Talira said, “Is there even a question of how it’ll be handled? Everyone here knows how we deal with traitors like Sanya, just as we know who will shoulder that burden so we privileged few can keep our hands clean.” 

 Um… had she just… defended me, in a way? Had that been meant as a rebuke? Based on the many winces in the room, I’d say that it had been. 

 “And we shall honor him for it and the many sacrifices he has made and will continue to make for us.” 

 Standing, Orin bowed to me, which… I didn’t know how that made me feel, but when he rose from it, he returned to business. 

 “Unless another problem is urgent enough for us to address it in person, I propose that we end this emergency assembly, concluding any lesser business via messages and direct connections,” he said. “As with us all, Kirst has far too much on its plate to continue sitting around, discussing our plans.” 

 When he glanced around the table, no one objected to his proposal, so he nodded. 

 “Then, I call this assembly adjourned.” 

 He immediately strode for an exit, and while it took the others a moment to process this shift in circumstances, they soon followed, although Talira pulled Raelle aside before she could leave. 

 “If it’s acceptable to you, my Lokke Vitras and I will use this room to wrap up a final piece of business, which will mean deactivating the recorders in here,” she said. “Will that be a problem? This is your headquarters, after all.” 

 After risking a glance at me, Raelle stiffened before shrugging. 

 “Do what you want,” she said. 

 She refused to look at me while hurrying past, and I briefly wondered what she might have seen on my face. From what I could tell, it could have been anything. I’d almost completely detached from myself, so I didn’t know what was coursing through me right now. 

 But I’d soon get a chance to figure that out. Within a few minutes, the room had been emptied, leaving me alone with Talira.

Chapter 85: The Moment When I Break
I placidly waited while my grandmother secured the room, although I couldn’t stop myself from double checking her work as she disabled recorders. Habits died hard, it seemed. Once she was done, she turned to me as if expecting me to speak, which was a good assumption on her part. 

 “So, my next order of business is to track Sanya down,” I calmly said. “Considering you’ve had months to do the same with no results to speak of, how do you expect me to find her?” 

 As I’d spoken, I’d heard those words as if they’d come from a great distance. Someone else was speaking for me, someone not Zaeden, and this anomaly might concern me more if I hadn’t been too… busy to consider it. I’d give it the time it needed later. 

 Sighing, Talira looked down her nose at me. 

 “I hate saying this, Zae-zae, but don’t you already know how you’ll do it?” she asked. “Given the circumstances, you only have one option available to you.” 

 Yes. And wasn’t that feeling of hopelessness getting exceedingly familiar? 

 Spinning on my heel, I strode away from Talira, needing to be far from here. I needed a distraction, something to keep me from thinking, but given how potent those distractions had needed to be in recent days, finding one now was giving me more trouble than it should. 

 “I’d rather not involve him,” I again calmly said. 

 After a pause, Talira said, “But you know you’ll have to.” 

 And with no warning, my calm was gone. Every defense I’d raised in the last six months, all to keep me from acknowledging my internal state, failed, and with a guttural howl, I swung a fist at a wall, pouring everything into the punch, but even when its impact sent dry-wall flying around me and pain flaring from my knuckles, it wasn’t enough. 

 My unintelligible howl became words. 

 “I hate this!” 

 In a blink, I was beside the table, grabbing a chair so I could throw it at the window. 

 “I hate this city!” I shouted over the tinkle of glass to the floor. “I hate the fucking homeland!” 

 The next thing I knew, I had hold of Talira’s shoulders while towering over her. 

 “I hate you!”  I roared in her face. “Hell, how could you do this? It was evil, Talira, much like the next part will be. EVIL. How the fuck can you condone…?” 

 I trailed off as the absolute calm that was radiating from my grandmother pierced through the haze around me, and seeing it, I knew that I hadn’t been asking those questions of her. Releasing her, I ground my knuckles into my eyes, just screaming for a moment. 

 “I hate myself, Talira!” I said. “I hate myself the most.” 

 “I know,” Talira said “Self-loathing is simply something that you do. You’re exceedingly good at it.” 

 She was quiet for a time, all while I raggedly gasped. Soon enough, though, she muttered my name, probably meaning to say something encouraging, and with a laugh, I shook my head in jerky movements. 

 “Don’t,” I said. “Just don’t.” 

 With a slow breath out, I lowered my hands, and not once looking at Talira, I skirted around her so I could leave. 

 “I’ll begin the hunt in the morning,” I said at the door. “Don’t contact me before then.” 

 That was all she got. In a blur, I stormed through House Vaessa’s headquarters and across the park outside, and all the while, I was composing messages to my various partners. 

 A distraction. I needed a distraction. 

 Time skipped around me as I received my partners’ replies. They were, as one, all refusals, which was entirely fair if also… unfortunate. 

 Because I needed a distraction. 

 Eventually, someone—I hardly took the time to check who—accepted my proposed scenario, inviting me to their place, and as with everything for the last… 

 Holy shit, had it been an hour? 

 As with everything else, the trip to my partner’s place passed in a fog, and I soon found myself outside their door, waiting for them to open it. I also found myself quietly muttering curses at how long it was taking, and this made me pause. Given how utterly out of control I was right now, should I be interacting with other people, especially a partner? Was I about to use them? 

 But when the door opened, revealing their lovely face, a wave of such thirst and hunger swept through me, wiping these concerns away. 

 So what if I was using this person? I’d asked if I could do it, and they’d said yes. 

 So, without truly seeing my partner, I stepped into their apartment, and discarding any pleasantries I should have made, I grabbed their head, pulling them to me. Our lips collided as the door slid shut between us. 

 That night, I didn’t truly sleep. Some of this was because of the various physical activities that my partner and I got up to. Hell, for hours, I did my damnedest to drown myself in sex and other such things, but eventually, they got worn out, quickly falling asleep, and I was left drifting in the half-fog between wakefulness and dreams. 

 There, I encountered a host of horrors. I didn’t know how long I spent running away from the dead or a nameless dread, but when I managed to crawl my way to awareness, I was tangled in sweat-soaked sheets with my partner having vanished from my side. 

 I found them curled up on the couch in the living room, and after brushing their hair aside to kiss their forehead, I wandered into the kitchen. Pouring myself a glass of water, I drained it while checking messages in my array. 

 One in particular caught my eye. From an unknown sender, it was titled ‘So, You Chose the Long Road’, and when I opened it, I was fascinated by its contents. Who knew something could go so wrong with a star? I certainly hoped no inhabited planets circled the one indicated here because if they did, the people who lived on them were fucked, at least within a cosmological timeframe. 

 Too many reports were attached to this message for me to read them all right now, so I set them aside. I’d review them when I had time. 

 For now, I had… something to do, something important, but its details had slipped from my mind, which was unlike me. Shaking my head, I subsequently shook off that conundrum before heading to the washroom to get ready for the day. I took my time in the shower this morning. I might need to do important things, but I would enjoy this hot water, damnit. 

 Then, it was time to brush my teeth and dress, and once that was done, my partner had woken up. We shared a heartfelt, if hasty, goodbye, all while I ignored some of the, frankly, strange things they said. If they couldn’t remember my name, maybe I should consider creating some distance between us. When I opened the door to head for work, however, I stopped dead in my tracks before going right back inside. 

 Lifting an eyebrow as I passed them, my partner said, “Forget something?” 

 With a nervous laugh, I nodded, unwilling to tell them that I’d seen something unpleasant outside. I thought it had been unpleasant, at least. I couldn’t remember exactly what it had been.  

 Instead of voicing that, I headed onto my partner’s balcony and climbed over a few railings before invading the apartment a few doors down. 

 I wasn’t sure how I was doing all of this— I didn’t know how to crack processes like this—or even why. What on earth was I trying to escape? But as with earlier, I shook these questions off, moving through the apartment and heading outside. 

 While on my way to work, people stared at me, which was strange. I was nothing special, and having so many eyes on me was uncomfortable. Mother Time, my skin was crawling by the time I reached ground level. 

 The other thing I noticed while walking was that someone was following me. I didn’t know how I knew this, but either way, the hair on the back of my neck was standing on end, and I kept glancing over my shoulder, no matter how many times I tried to stop doing that. Hell, how suspicious must I appear to the people around me? 

 Halfway to work, I couldn’t take it any longer. I ducked into an alleyway, resting my hand on my chest. It felt so tight, and I was hyperventilating. When had that started? 

 I needed to calm down. No one was following or staring at me. That was paranoia talking. So, I took take deep breaths, focusing on that until I could no longer hear blood rushing in my ears. 

 That was when someone stepped into the alley with me. Tall, he was wearing only black, and an intimidating aura hung heavy on him. He looked familiar too. Did I know him? 

 “Zae, what are you doing?” he asked. “Are you ok?” 

 He reached for me, and at the sudden move, I flinched away. For some reason, this made him freeze in place, watching me with something unreadable in his eyes. I didn’t like it. 

 “I- I’m sorry,” I stammered. “I-” 

 Licking my lips, I got myself under control. I was in the middle of Xygek, for Mother Time’s sake! There was nothing to fear here. So, I squared my shoulders as I said. 

 “You’ve got the wrong guy. I don’t know any ‘Zae’.” 

 I didn’t know what I’d expected from this stranger when I said that, but it certainly hadn’t been the blank stare I was receiving. 

 With an empty voice, he said, “What?” 

 Unsure what else to do, I shrugged while pasting a shaky smile in place. 

 “My name’s Rylan,” I said. “Sorry. You’ve got the wrong guy.” 

 With a sharply indrawn breath, the stranger mouthed my name before pinching his nose with his eyes squeezed closed. 

 “You’ve got to be kidding me,” he breathed. 

 Now, I really didn’t know what to do. 

 “I’m… not? Kidding you, that is,” I said. “Again, sorry. Maybe I can help you find your-” 

 “T.R.O.U.B.L.E, Zaeden,” the stranger snapped. “Stop this. We need to get started.” 

 At his words, the world had begun pulling away, making me feel faint, but as soon as he stopped speaking, it snapped back into place, although the strangest pang of melancholy accompanied it. With a rough headshake, I rubbed my temples. 

 “If you don’t want my help, I should get going,” I said. “I have something important to do at work, and I’m already late-” 

 Slapping his hands to his thighs, the stranger growled, “We don’t have time for this. T.R.O.U.B.L.E, Zae. Please. I… I need you for this.” 

 At his apparent distress, I frowned. 

 “I’m sorry, but I can’t help you,” I said. “If you’ll excuse me?” 

 When I tried to brush past the stranger, however, he took hold of my arms, pinning me to a wall, and my everything went cold. Violence? In Xygek? That was impossible. 

 With pleading eyes, the stranger said, “Don’t do this.” 

 Ok. I didn’t know what was going on, but I’d had quite enough of this disruption to my morning. Summoning as much courage as I had, I lifted my chin. 

 “Let me go,” I demanded. 

 The stranger’s face morphed through a variety of expressions—ones that I could read, for some reason—before settling into a snarl. 

 “No,” he growled. 

 Then, he kissed me, and- and— 

 —and I started weeping. I tried to get free of Korix, but he kept me pinned to the wall, ignoring tears and mucus when they started dribbling around our mouths. Soon enough, though, all fight left me, and with my muscles going limp, I slumped, hanging from Korix. 

 “No, no! I can’t do this to you,” I sobbed against his lips. “I can’t . Don’t make me. Please. Fucking hell, Ko, please . Pleeeeeease…” 

 That one word became a wail, one that was only silenced by his kiss, and once it had stopped, Korix lowered us to the ground. With him holding me up and my legs over his, we stayed there while I lost myself for a time, and if my hallucination deigned to join us at some point during this, I chose not to notice them. 

 At some point, I started slipping into a familiar, listlessly dead state, and as if aware of this, Korix cupped my jaw, gently slapping my cheeks until I focused on him. Hell, what was I doing? I might have to demand something unconscionable from him soon, but he was the one who’d- 

 His grip on me tightened. 

 “No,” he said. “You don’t go running off to somewhere deep inside. You stay with me and listen. Understand?” 

 When he peered at me as if uncertain whether I was still with him, I mutely nodded. 

 “Good.” 

 Releasing me, Korix rested his hands between us, staring at them, but after a moment, he started. 

 “Do you remember what you told me after the Crescent Incident? You’d just seen me have a fit for the first time, and shortly after that, you saved your family and hundreds more from a Dissolver.” 

 It was also when I’d first killed someone I loved but… 

 “Yes, I remember,” I whispered. “How could I forget?” 

 Nodding, Korix said, “I believe it was, ‘You need me, evushk, and I won’t leave you the moment my training gets tough’, yes?” 

 That was it exactly. 

 “You chose to make a significant sacrifice, one that no one should have asked of you, for my happiness,” he continued. “Now, it’s my turn. I’m choosing to do this, even if it’s not entirely for you.” 

 Sniffing, I said, “That’s not fair, Ko. You can’t just turn the tables on me like that.” 

 With a laugh, Korix bumped his forehead into mine. 

 “I very well can,” he said, “and look! Now, you know how I felt all those years ago.” 

 Making a face, I said, “It’s not pleasant.” 

 “No. No, it’s not,” Korix softly said. 

 He brushed his lips against mine again, holding me to him with a hand on the back of my neck. 

 “So,” he said, “will you stay with me?” 

 There was only one answer to that. 

 “I will. Always.”

Chapter 86: Part One of a Partner's Past
We started our search for Sanya on the outskirts of Xygek. To my great surprise, Korix led us to an empty apartment there, but I didn’t notice much more about it at first, too busy with my incredulous stare at him. Why were we here? 

 Seeing this, Korix chuckled before waving around us. 

 “Welcome to where I grew up,” he said. 

 Where he’d… grown up? Even as I jerked my head to take in my surroundings, I was considering everything that implied. How long had this place been left uninhabited? Such a vast amount of space getting left unused seemed strange in overcrowded Lutov, but if anyone could get away with that, it would be a former Lokke Vitras. 

 Also, this was my life partner’s childhood home. He never talked about his past. Why did this revelation scare me so badly? 

 Shoving that concern aside, I glanced over sheet-covered furniture with interest, squinting when Korix turned on the lights. I tried to imagine a child version of him playing in this room, but any image of it that I conjured quickly slipped away. Thinking of Korix as a young person hurt my brain. 

 In general, the place looked exactly like what one would expect in the home of a mid Strata. Roomy, but not cavernous. Nicely decorated, but not extravagant. Normal. 

 How had he come from this? 

 But when I returned my attention to the man in question, I wanted to smack myself upside the head for letting curiosity distract me. Korix was biting his lip with a distant look in his eyes, and I knew he was reliving some past event, if not one so traumatic as to cause a fit. When he noticed my eyes on him, he shook himself before smiling. 

 “Come on,” he said. “If Sanya’s left any clues for us, it’ll be here.” 

 He headed deeper inside, and I hesitantly followed, certain that I was intruding upon a place that I was never supposed to see. 

 As we moved through the apartment, I noted the distinct lack of photos in it. There were plenty of paintings here, but no family portraits like what we had in our own home. Why was that? Had Korix wanted to keep evidence of his past life so far buried that he’d destroyed any portraits found here, or had his birth family never taken photos? If that was the case, why avoid something so innocuous? Maybe the reason had been something simple, like someone in the family had hated taking photographs, but somehow, I doubted that was the case. 

 The other thing of note throughout the apartment was the excessive number of recorders in every room. From what I could tell, they were all inactive now, but that begged the question. Did that mean they’d been in place when Korix was growing up? That might explain why he’d been so averse to adding that security precaution to our estate. 

 Soon enough, he led me through an old-fashioned door, one that was unregulated by processes, and seeing the immaculately neat room beyond it, I stopped short in the threshold. Glancing back at me, Korix snorted. 

 “Yes, Zae, that’s right,” he said. “This was my room.” 

 Reflexively, I checked the door again. Without security processes to hold it closed, the only thing that might make it a barrier against the outside world would be a lock, but I saw nothing like that here, just a doorknob. 

 Now given, as a child, Korix probably hadn’t had the same level of paranoia as he did now, but even still, I found this strange. If I hadn’t been able to lock my door while growing up, I’d have found it exceedingly unnerving. 

 Everything else here matched my expectations, though. The bed was made in stupidly crisp lines with not a single pillow left askew, and similarly, everything else in the room had its place. Was it bad that I’d like to get out of my clothes and mess up that perfectly spread comforter with him? 

 Shaking the thought off, I stepped into the room. Korix had already powered the storecase beneath his desk on, looking through an activity log, so I circled the space, scanning it. When I reached a set of shelves, I plucked a trophy off of it with a smile. 

 “If you started cracking processes at such a young age, it’s no wonder you’ve always been better at it than me,” I said. 

 Never looking away from the monitor, Korix noncommittally mumbled something, and chuckling, I returned the trophy to its place. 

 “I’m surprised you focused on process work enough to get so many awards for it,” I said. “Most mid Strata Kolb families aren’t keen on that idea, valuing martial skills instead.” 

 I didn’t know why I felt the need to chitchat right now. Was I that uncomfortable with this situation?  

 Unfortunately, Korix didn’t reply for a while, letting me complete a half-circuit of his room in tense silence before speaking up. 

 “I didn’t come from a House Kolb family,” he said. 

 Freezing, I craned my head toward him, well aware that I was gaping. 

 “What?” I managed to say. 

 Shaking his head, Korix straightened from his lean on the desk. 

 “That’s why no one disapproved of my fascination with process work,” he said. “It aligned well with my family’s chosen House.” 

 As he powered down the storecase, I struggled to find my words. Fortunately, I martialed them before Korix could head out the door. 

 “That’s not what I meant,” I said. “You’re telling me that you, the former Lokke Vitras of Lutov, didn’t grow up in Kolb?” 

 Glancing over his shoulder, Korix said, “I did not.” 

 And he walked out the door. I could only sputter for a moment because this little piece of history didn’t fit into what I’d have expected from my exceedingly House Kolb life partner, but soon enough, I was racing after him. 

 “So… which House…?” I said when I'd caught up. 

 Finishing the question was a bit too much for me right now, something Korix seemed to know based off of how much he was smirking. 

 “Cerullis,” he said. 

 Oh, hell. The House I’d just worked to disband. I opened my mouth to say… something. I wasn’t sure what. Maybe I wanted to apologize? Whatever the case, Korix preempted me. 

 “Before you ask, I chose Kolb at my House naming ceremony because there was a certain element of my family that I wasn’t fond of,” he said. “I eagerly took my chance at creating space between us.” 

 That was interesting. What did it mean? 

 Definitely not a question I should ask now. 

 Korix turned us into another room, but I only noted that it was messier than his before pinning my gaze on him. 

 “Why Kolb, though?” I asked. “Given the trophies I saw in your room, you’d have been just as welcome in Zan.” 

 “Simple, really,” Korix said. 

 He started a repeat of the search he’d performed on his old storecase while explaining. 

 “At the time, I was extremely motivated to protect the average citizen from the dark side of Lutov, and Kolb was my best way to do that.” 

 Well. At least that reason fit into my perspective of him, even if it did raise another question. How had young Korix even known that Lutov had a dark side? 

 “There it is,” he breathed. 

 When Korix opened a file on this room’s storecase, a brief series of images splashed onto the monitor’s screen, followed by a text-based message. 

 Let’s see what you are now, it read. 

 On reading this, Korix sucked in a gasp, making me conclude that the message had been meant for him, and when he hunched forward, I hurried to him so I could rest a hand on his back. After a couple of deep breaths, he gathered himself. 

 “I know where to go next,” he said. 

 He didn’t give me a chance to question him or explore the rest of his childhood home. Marching for the door, he was a puppeted doll, completely wooden save to throw a single line over his shoulder. 

 “I hope you don’t mind word-of-mouth stories because I’m telling one on the way.” 

 And my stomach dropped, because this? This behavior was more what I’d expected from him while we completed this mission. 

 I didn’t say a word, though, not as we retrieved a skycruiser or as we got into it. At the moment, it wasn’t my place. It was my turn to support him like he’d just done for me. 

 

 The story began once we were five minutes into a trek with an unknown destination. 

 “Once, there was a perfectly innocent boy who lived what he thought was an ideal life,” Korix said. “Surrounded by loved ones and with his every need provided for, he was happy. It didn’t matter that he was rarely allowed to leave the safety of his home. He didn’t know if the world was as dangerous as his parents claimed, but he trusted them. They would keep him safe. 

 “And for seven years, this was all he knew. He thought his life was normal: that all fathers were respected, all mothers were timidly quiet, and all children automatically did as they were told. He was very good at that last thing. 

 “Despite what he'd been told, he also believed that the outside world was a bright and mystical place. Besides for the occasional social function, he never left the cocoon of his home, but he loved hearing stories about the outside world. He couldn’t wait until he could attend his first House rotation. 

 “Then, that time came, and it was everything he’d hoped for and more. In spite of how sheltered he'd been, he easily made friends—those supposedly legendary creatures—and his classes fascinated him. So many new subjects and unthinkable concepts were presented to him, and he loved it all. 

 “Eventually, however, that House rotation came to an end. He went home to his family, eager to share what he’d learned, and for a single afternoon, everything returned to normal. 

 “Unfortunately, this irrevocably changed when the day ended because on the fateful night in question, that innocent boy first met the monster.”

Chapter 87: Resistance and a Continued Story
Our next destination was on the other side of the city. As we set down, I wondered why Korix had brought us here. As far as I could tell, it was just another of the many House Kolb training facilities spread across Xygek. 

 Perhaps aware of my many questions, Korix simply said, “I came here to escape.” 

 Without looking at me, he got out of the skycruiser, and while he headed into the building, I didn’t move, watching him the whole time. This story he was telling me… it was obviously his, no matter how much he was trying to distance himself from it, and I didn’t like where it was going. 

 I was also not enjoying how, to this point, I’d simply been along for the ride on this hunt. Even before starting it, I’d known I likely wouldn’t contribute much to it, but so far, I’d added nothing. Whatever the flashing images on that storecase had relayed to Korix, I hadn’t seen it and my utter reliance on him for this task… 

 It broke my heart, but then, that had been a common theme for me over the last six months. 

 From out of nowhere, my hallucination stepped into view outside the skycruiser, slamming their hands onto the front of it, and jumping, I scowled at them, which only made them smile. 

 “Hurry up, LV!” they called through the glass. “He’s leaving you in his dust.” 

 That was right. If I couldn’t help with this hunt, the least I could do was be with Korix as he endured it. So, I peeled myself out of the skycruiser and chased after him. 

 As always when in populated portions of Lutov, people stared at me, surreptitiously or otherwise, and yes. Typically, this didn’t bother me. Much. Spend a century dealing with anything you find unpleasant, and you get used to it. 

 Today, though, I couldn’t ignore it. By the time I got into the training facility, my skin was itching from a persistent crawl, and I was fighting the urge to duck my chin to my chest.  

 Was it simply because of the task I was completing today, or was my sudden discomfort due to something more concerning? I was fully aware of how much the Rylan persona had taken over this morning, even if I couldn’t focus on its strangeness now. At some point soon, I’d have to work through it in full, figuring out why and how the swap of control had occurred, but for now, I’d have to question whether his presence was lingering with me, influencing my experience of the world in a more passive way. 

 When I caught up with him, Korix was stiffly questioning a rather nervous looking man, someone who worked here from what I could tell. 

 “-none of the simulation rooms are unoccupied?” he was asking as I approached. 

 “N-no,” the nervous man stammered. “This time of day is usually pretty busy so-” 

 He cut off as I came to a stop beside Korix. 

 “What are we looking for?” I congenially asked, ignoring the worker. 

 “She’s left another clue here. I know it,” Korix said. “It’ll be somewhere safe. Hidden. Possibly somewhere unused or abandoned. She’s always liked places like that, places where no one could find her.” 

 “Ah.” 

 Damnit. The more details that kept popping up during this hunt, the more uneasy I became with it. 

 Turning to the nervous man, I smiled, trying to set him at ease. 

 “Is there anywhere like that here, not just a sim room?” I asked. “Or perhaps one of those has been regularly booked by people from another House?” 

 I’d heard what Korix had said, but while he might have known Sanya best long ago, I’d spent more time with her in recent years. His described need of hers to hide certainly fit with the woman I’d come to know, but it wasn’t complete. From what I’d seen, Sanya had also learned the value of allies since she and Korix had been close. 

 At my question, the worker relaxed, even if the grin he directed at me was still nervous. 

 “Yes, Lokke Vitras. For the last few months, we’ve had a group of individuals from various Houses meeting in one of our sim rooms every day, usually in the mid-afternoon,” he said. “I always thought it was strange. Zan members don’t usually hang out with people from Drav.” 

 Yes, a situation like that was strange, something that someone should have reported a while ago, but I wouldn’t berate this man over it. Who knew why no one had mentioned the anomaly? 

 So instead, I asked, “Which room?” After receiving an answer, Korix and I headed to our new destination. When we arrived, said space was full of various House Kolb members, so Korix and I set up to stake it out. I kept expecting him to continue with his story while we waited, but he kept quiet, and I didn’t press, simply leaning my head on his shoulder. 

 Hours passed in this silence, one that was both safe and vastly uncomfortable at the same time, but eventually, people from Houses other than Kolb started filing into the indicated room, replacing its former occupants. After the last one had entered, we waited for a time, making sure everyone had gathered, before making our move. 

 The fight that ensued was bloody and frustrating . I didn’t know how so many of Sanya’s allies had escaped from my recent wipe, although these people’s affiliation with Houses other than Cerullis might have something to do with it. Either way, they were fanatical in their struggle to escape, refusing to listen when Korix and I gave them the option of surrendering. 

 As the last of them fell, we stood, panting, among the bodies, and I looked myself over. We’d need to search our opponents and get out of here before too much of a tizzy erupted, yes, but as part of that last point, I needed to know how much evidence of the fight had been left on me.  

 Once I finished that inspection, I winced. Far too much blood had been sprayed on my clothes while the charred leavings of an energy bolt had blackened one sleeve, and from what I could see, Korix was in the same state. There was no way we could get to the skycruiser without someone taking note of us, which would be just wonderful . 

 Drawing attention to my activities always made covering them up more annoying. Instead of ignoring what had happened, the Houses that I might have ‘wronged’ would cause a fuss until I’d explained myself, which in some ways, was good. There should be some consequences for the many awful things that I did. That made it no less irritating, though. 

 Beside me, Korix clicked his tongue, drawing me out of my thoughts. 

 “Just got a connection request, visual format,” he said. “She must have been watching.” 

 He lifted his hand, and above his palm, an image of Sanya formed. I couldn’t tell where she was, but wherever it was, it was rustic. The craftsmanship of the dwelling around her reminded me of ones I’d visited in Ibis, and through the window at her back, I could see greenery, so rare in Lutov. Did that mean she’d crossed the water? 

 With thin lips, Sanya fixed Korix with a piercing glare. 

 “I see you’ve gone the way of him,” she said. 

 Swallowing hard, Korix said, “I-” 

 But Sanya merely cut him off. 

 “Well, you know where I am now,” she said. “Come and get me.” 

 The image fizzled out, and after blankly staring at his hand for a moment, Korix dropped it with a growl. Roughly scraping his head, he started pacing, cursing up a storm, and I let him have this reaction for a bit before stepping into his path. 

 “Ko, I’m sorry, but if you know where we’re headed, we need to leave,” I said. 

 Stopping short, Korix nodded while rubbing his face. 

 Lifting red-rimmed eyes to me, he said, “It wasn’t supposed to end this way.” 

 And I replied, “I know.” 

 Because what else was I supposed to say? 

 We left the bodies where they’d dropped, although I informed Talira of what had happened, and as I’d expected, people most definitely paid attention to us as we walked through the training facility. It set my skin crawling once again, so much so that reaching the skycruiser was almost as relieving as coming home from a mission would be. 

 But then, Korix input a destination into the console, and we were off. 

 

 It took him longer to start with his story this time. 

 “So, the boy met the monster. Later in life, he would wonder why it took that man seven years to turn such unfathomably vast ire on him. When he was younger, the rest of his family may have distracted the monster on occasion, but surely, that wasn’t enough. Surely, he should have noticed the evil in his home before then. 

 “Did the monster delay because the boy was his son and the rest of the family… wasn’t? Was it because the boy had always been so obedient and eager to please? Was it because until that first House rotation, the monster had total sway over him? These questions would haunt the boy in the years to come, but for a long while, greater concerns occupied him. Very quickly, he learned what times of day were safe and how to disappear when the monster came home. He learned how to make convincing excuses to get out of activities with his friends, any time he was in less-than-optimal shape. 

 “He learned the importance of control . Make one mistake, and your life becomes hell. This lesson was drilled into him so many times that it soon constantly played in the background of his mind. 

 “Over the years, he sometimes wondered how no one noticed what was going on at home. Sure, his array healed his bruises quickly enough, but no normal boy goes catatonic when someone barely raises their voice at him. No normal boy becomes an animal during sparring sessions with House Kolb, taking advantage of the situation to transmute the violence found at home into something else. 

 “So, how did no one notice? Maybe some people did: the instructors who constantly reminded him that they were there to listen and the like, but if they picked up on the signs, they never raised a hand to help. 

 “The boy endured this for eighteen long, arduous years, doing everything in his power to protect the others in his family from the monster’s ire, but finally, finally, a long-awaited day arrived, and he escaped from that house of horrors. 

 “For a while after that, the boy spent most of his time learning what a normal life was truly like. He advanced in Strata, gained a healthy social life, and found out that he was polyamorous. 

 “That infuriated the monster, which made the boy giddier than he’d ever been in his life, even if it had adverse side effects for the rest of his family. The boy hated these side effects because, you see, throughout this period of happiness, he’d still striven to protect the rest of his family. 

 “Eventually, the day came when he could no longer do that. On that most normal of days, he received a request for connection from the only other person who’d escaped the house of horrors, a connection where he heard only screaming, and when it was cut, it was like he lost time. One moment, he was in House Kolb’s headquarters, and the next, he was barging into her home. 

 “He found her wheezing on her kitchen floor, moments from dying, and something snapped. After calling for emergency services, he went to confront the monster.”

Chapter 88: She's His Sister
We’d set down a while ago, but I couldn’t bring myself to find out where we were. Throughout Korix’s story, I’d hung on his every word, silently dying inside for him, and when he fell silent, it felt as if the rest of the world went quiet too. 

 I badly wanted to reach out and comfort this man I could never love, but something in his bearing held me back. He was a shaky house of cards, only requiring a single touch to fall apart, but fortunately, I knew what he needed in this moment. It was what anyone would need in his position: to finish the story. To have someone hear him, in every way possible. 

 So, I softly asked, “And what happened during that confrontation?” 

 Korix took a shuddering breath before turning to me with his jaw set. 

 “The boy killed his monster,” he said. 

 He expected this to upset me, I could tell, and it did, if not for the reason he thought. How could the world be so cruel as to allow something like this story to exist? 

 But Korix was looking at me as if he was certain I’d run away from him, and I had to meet that unspoken challenge. So, I lowered the divider between us so I could scoot closer and throw my arms around his neck. 

 “Good,” I whispered in his ear. “I’m glad.” 

 For a moment, Korix stiffened, but then, he hugged me back with a whoosh of hot air ruffling my hair. 

 “Thank you,” he said. 

 We held each other for as long as we could, and when we had to break apart, the story he’d told me got put to the side. I looked through the skycruiser’s glass, taking in our location for the first time. We were at the border between Xygek and the Preserve, apparently. Why were we here? 

 “When we were kids, Sanya and I used to play here, getting out of the house in the brief moments we could,” Korix said. “I was always a… curious child, we’ll call it, and while that curiosity got me into plenty of scrapes when I was young, it also helped me, especially in this place. Because of it, I found an unauthorized way into the Preserve.” 

 “What?” I snapped. 

 At that, Korix simply laughed while getting out of the skycruiser, and as had been the theme today, I scrambled to follow. He approached the fence that guarded the Preserve, and once he reached it, his body blurred, becoming mist as it passed through. Once he was on the other side, turning on me with a grin, I scowled at him. 

 “That can’t be how you got through as a kid,” I said. “You wouldn’t have had access to that process until you reached the high Strata, and you most certainly didn’t have the authority that you have now. You’d have needed both to bypass everything that’s protecting this place.” 

 “True,” Korix said. 

 But he didn’t speak a word more, only smirking on the other side of the chain link between us. He was going to make me ask? 

 “So, how did you do it then?” I said. 

 With his eyes twinkling, Korix said, “Wouldn’t you like to know?” 

 Really? After a moment, I growled, resisting the urge to stomp in place. 

 “Yes. That’s why I asked. I fucking hate using molecular dispersion,” I said. “Is it something I need to worry about?” 

 Sobering, Korix cocked his head, considering the question. 

 “No. I doubt anyone else would think to use my exploit, not even you,” he said, “and unless you require it, I’d rather not explain. With everything else I’ve shared today and what I’ll soon show you… with her waiting there… I need to hold onto some secrets, no matter how small.” 

 Oh. I knew what this was. 

 “It’ll be better if we get this over with quickly,” I said. 

 With his breath hitching, Korix looked away. 

 “I know.” 

 But then, that smirk returned to his face, if a little shakier than before. 

 “Coming?” he asked. 

 After initiating the process that began molecular dispersion, I too stepped through the fence, and together, we headed into the forest. If I’d found wandering through this place painful the last time I’d been here, this time was torture. This time, I knew with every step what we were here to do, and there was no avoiding what came at the end. 

 When we reached our destination, would we find Sanya there? In a way, this search had helped me with keeping my mind off of its inevitable conclusion, but now that it was swiftly approaching… now that it was almost here… 

 “What will you do?” 

 Picking up the pace, my hallucination got in front of me, walking backward. 

 “Sanya’s his sister,” they said. “You’ve known that for days, but you keep putting off the question of her fate, avoiding it like it’ll kill you. Well now, it’s time to face the music. You’ve used Korix to track down his sister, and knowing his story, you also know how important she is to him. So. Will you kill her, as the mission requires? If so, will you do it in front of him? Or will you let him decide how it goes?” 

 Vigorously shaking my head, I whispered, “I don’t know yet.” 

 My hallucination’s disapproval was almost as bad as Korix’s look of concern, but at least I could wave that last one away. 

 “You planning on sharing where we’re headed anytime soon?” I asked. 

 Sighing, Korix said, “The only safe place that I knew as a child. You’ll understand what I mean when you see it, and don’t worry. That will be soon.” 

 He wasn’t wrong. Within another quarter hour, we stumbled onto one of the crudest structures I’d come across in Lutov, but given the context of how it had been created, I had to admire its craftmanship. High in the branches of a massive tree, Korix and Sanya’s safe space was large enough to contain a low Strata’s apartment inside of it, and while its materials were—as I’d said before—crude, composed of roughly hewn logs and rope, it was sturdy with plenty of openings in its walls to serve as lookout points. Pretty damn good for a pair of children. 

 Staring up at it, Korix seemed rooted in place, but when I moved toward the rope ladder that led into the tree, he called for me to wait. He was slow and hesitant in his steps, but soon enough, he’d mounted the ladder, and together, we climbed to a more stable surface. 

 “-become a copy of him,” a soft voice was saying as I reached my feet. 

 Having already gone inside, Korix was hidden from view, but I clearly heard him when he said. 

 “I am not our bastard of a father.” 

 Sanya merely chuckled at that, which forced me to take a moment before joining them. I had to suppress everything that her voice had raised in me. 

 “That’s super unhealthy, LV,” my hallucination said behind me. “You’ve got to stop ignoring these things.” 

 What did they know? 

 Requesting my rifle, I joined Korix inside, noting that he already had a weapon pointed at Sanya. She barely acknowledged my presence, reserving all of her attention for her brother. 

 “You could have stayed out of this,” she said. “Once the Lokke Vitras knew how we’re related, he could have easily followed my clues by himself. It might have taken him longer, but it would have been possible. 

 “But you had to get involved. Why? It can’t be out of some desire to help me. Years ago, when it became clear that the Lokke Vitras role was more important to you than me, you promised that you’d stay out of my life, that we would be nothing to one another, and for years, you kept that promise. Yet, here you are now. So please, brother dearest. Please, explain why you’re here. Explain why hunting me down as you have doesn’t make you like our father.” 

 With- with tears streaming over his face, Korix said, “I couldn’t love you, Sanya, just as much as I can’t love him . Why can’t you understand that? You always hated me for what I became, but I never wanted to be the Lokke Vitras, much like the sister I knew would never have wanted to do all she’s done. We’re more alike than you want to admit.” 

 Sanya reared back for a moment before snapping. 

 “And that excuses how you’ll kill me?” 

 Uh… what-? 

 “NO! Of course it fucking doesn’t, you frustratingly brilliant woman!” Korix roared. “No one here deserves forgiveness for what we’ve done, least of all me for all the ways I’ve hurt you. 

 “But I am NOT our damn father. Mother Time, Sanya. Do you think I take pleasure from this, like he would have? I hate it, and I will never be able to live with it once it’s done. You will always haunt me.” 

 Apparently, Sanya had no reply for that because silence fell, and glancing between the two of them, I rested a hand on my hip, tapping my rifle against a leg. 

 “Excuse me, but what the hell do you think you’re doing?” I said. “All of this—” 

 I waved at them. 

 “—it’s my job. I’m the dramatic one. I’m the one who scars my spark of a soul for no good reason, and I’m definitely the one who gets to carry a burden this heavy. So, Ko. Please do shut up and go outside for a moment. I have a decision to make, and all this shouting isn’t helping with that.” 

 Left gaping, Korix rapidly blinked at me. 

 “Zae-” he tried to say. 

 “GO. OUTSIDE.” I firmly said before softening. “Whatever I decide, I’ll make sure you have a chance to say goodbye before I do it.” 

 Oo, he wanted to fight me on this. I saw it in how stiffly he was holding himself, but with a jerky nod, he did as he was told for fucking once. With that taken care of, I turned on Sanya, this massively convoluted conundrum that was somehow contained in one woman, and for a while, we simply stared at one another while I struggled with choosing what to do next. Soon enough, though, my hallucination clicked their tongue, marching to stand behind Sanya. 

 “No more avoidance,” they said. “You may continue to ignore everything else in your life that you’d rather never see but this?” 

 They jabbed a finger into the top of Sanya’s head. 

 “You can face this.” 

 They were right. I could no longer delay my current nightmare. So, I trudged across the distance to Sanya and dropped to the floor in front of her, rubbing my face. 

 “You created a neurotoxin, experimenting on people made vulnerable by a wish to join the Collective,” I said. “You released this neurotoxin in Xygek, thereby endangering Lutov worse than any other known catastrophe, and it killed someone very dear to me.” 

 I glanced up at my hallucination, but they only met my gaze with a blank expression in place. 

 Probably believing the pause had been for her, Sanya simply said, “I did.” 

 She didn’t bother trying to excuse herself, which was good because I wasn’t done. 

 “Your actions have led to the deaths of hundreds and the dissolution of your House,” I continued, “not that I’m blaming everything I’ve done on you. I’ll readily acknowledge how complicit I was in the last few months. Even still, what you’ve done requires punishment, even if my position will keep those same consequences from falling on me, and I must carry out this execution.” 

 “Yes, this is true,” Sanya said. 

 And again, there was nothing else. Looking at this woman who’d caused so much misery, I could no longer contain myself. 

 “You hurt me, Sanya,” I hissed with my eyes watering, “hurt me badly, and you knew what you were doing before any of this started.” 

 With a solemn nod, Sanya said. “I did. I’m sorry, Zaeden.” 

 She was sorry? She was sorry for months of sleepless nights? For the accumulation of so much unnecessary blood on my hands? For forcing me to show Leski and Baely how horrible my role as the Lokke Vitras could be, driving them away as a result? For killing Damari? 

 “And there it is,” my hallucination whispered. “The reason you’ve been pushing yourself so hard and why you’ve been seeing me. You have to let this go, LV.” 

 But I COULDN’T. 

 Growling, I jerked my hand up, and Sanya leaned away from the rifle that was suddenly in her face. 

 “How could you do this?” I shouted. “You were my friend!” 

 With a long sigh, Sanya said, “And I still am. Months ago, I told you that I’d need you to end this, remember? I said it because it was true, of course, but also because it would make this part easier for you. Please, Zaeden. Shoot me, knowing it’s what I want.” 

 What should I do? Sanya was my friend, but she was my enemy. She was Korix’s sister, but she was a threat to the homeland. I had to kill her, but I couldn’t. 

 I couldn’t . 

 “So, let it go,” my hallucination said. “Let me go.” 

 Gritting my teeth, I closed my eyes, breathing in all of my turmoil, and after a soul-wrenching moment, I let it back out, slow as melting ice. Then, I met Damari’s eyes. 

 “I loved you, my friend,” I whispered. 

 And I shot them in the face. 

 They disappeared as the bolt passed through them before blackening the wood at their back, and as they dissolved into nothing, I drooped, ignoring the world around me. Please, let me do this, just for a moment. 

 Sanya brought me back. 

 “What… was that?” she asked in a tremulous voice. 

 And I laughed. I couldn’t help it. I didn’t know why I found this situation so funny, but I did, and my body shook with that amusement. 

 Eventually, though, I calmed down, wiping my eyes. 

 “So far as I’m concerned, I just killed you,” I said. “A single, powerless woman is no true threat to Lutov, and despite how much your crimes cry out for punishment, I can’t carry it out. Call me selfish or weak for it, if you must, but I can’t do that to myself or Korix.” 

 Getting to my feet was hell. All of my body’s long-accumulated woes were screaming through me, and once I’d reached my full height, I could barely summon the energy needed to stay upright. 

 Glancing down at a dead woman, I said, “Goodbye, Sanya.” 

 I didn’t look at Korix when I joined him outside. Crossing my arms, I leaned against the wall beside him. 

 “And so far as you’re concerned, I just left an unrecognizable mess of a body in there,” I said. “Your job is to clean it up, however you see fit. Do you understand me? Just give me a yes or no answer, please.” 

 When I made myself look at Korix, I didn’t find the disapproval that I’d expected. Instead, he was watching me with shimmering eyes and a slack mouth, and after a pause, he dumbly nodded. 

 “Good,” I said. “Whatever you decide, I need you home tonight. I’ll need help with writing my report.” 

 In other words, don’t run away from me. 

 I didn’t wait for his reply. After descending from the tree and leaving the Preserve, I got in the skycruiser and had it take me home. Once there, I stumbled to my room, collapsed into bed, and promptly fell asleep. 

 

 Korix woke me up when he cuddled up next to me, hours later. 

 “Don’t get up,” he said as he kissed my shoulder. “I have a story that needs finishing.” 

 Yawning, I tried to put together what story he was talking about before promptly giving up and snuggling into him. 

 “All right,” I said. 

 This time, it took Korix a good, long while to start talking, and throughout that time, he held me to him, breathing into my hair. 

 “The circumstances of my father’s death drew quite a bit of attention to me, including Talira’s,” he eventually said. “She was the Lokke Vitras back then, so she didn’t have much time for an anomaly like me, but even still, she checked in on me over the years, always while using a persona. This was how she chose me. When her shukusen decided to join the Collective, ordering her to train her replacement, she knew I’d be the perfect fit. 

 “So, you see, my father ruined my life in more than one way. He also tangentially got me trapped in a role that I abhorred. 

 “Even still, I have to thank him. Because I was the Lokke Vitras, Talira sent me on a sensitive, deep-cover mission, investigating reports of subversive activity in House Zan’s ranks, and there, I met the second man who’d shape my life. 

 “I swear, Zaeden. I saw you outside the stacks on the day we met, and it was like the world lurched. I don’t know how else to describe it, and the events that came over the next few decades only solidified the suspicion that formed in me that day. 

 “You know how the Ostiums believe that everyone has someone who can complete their song in the unknowable symphony of the world? I believe that’s what you are for me, Zae. The one who completes my song. 

 “Even if you don’t believe in that mysticism, though, the fact remains that you have changed my life for the better. What I have with you makes up for every tragedy I’ve suffered in my life.” 

 When he went quiet, I rolled over so I could brush his cheek. I loved him. Three simple, little words. How I wished I could say them now. Instead, I rested my forehead on his. 

 “You mean the world to me too, Ko,” I said. 

 Sighing, Korix relaxed against me, and gradually, we fell asleep together. In the morning, we had a report to write, shukusenth to answer to, and our girls to reconcile with, but these problems could wait. 

 For now, this was enough.

Chapter 89: When Victory Feels Like Failure
Writing up the report didn’t take as long as I’d thought it would, if only because Korix had made it easy for me. After requesting the clean-up of a body from Talira, he’d left the Preserve, but before a crew could arrive to comply with the request, an electrical failure in a nearby facility had caused a fire in the woods. This freak accident had consumed any trace of a hut in the trees, although thankfully, long-established safety protocols had kept the fire from spreading too far into the Preserve. 

 By the time anyone could check on Korix after that, he’d reached an island that had once housed a commune for the Cerullis’ defectors, there to pay his respects. The log on his skycruiser had placed him nowhere near the facility that had started the fire, just as its recorders hadn’t stored any images of a visit that he might have made there. 

 If he’d abandoned supplies on the island when he'd left it, I couldn’t find proof of it, not that I looked too hard for that. Throughout the investigation that followed the end of our mission, I chose to believe that Sanya was somewhere in our wide world, free to explore it to her heart’s content. 

 I wasn’t sure if I’d done the right thing by leaving her fate in Korix’s hands. From a purely logical point of view, I should have at least taken her array from her, the same as what I’d done to her followers, but… but… 

 Look. If I’d learned anything from my giant mess of a fuck up, it was that I needed to take better care of myself. For my whole life, I’d lived for my loved ones: their approval, their safety, their happiness, and yes, these things were worth striving for. 

 But not when it came at the expense of my own happiness, much as that never seemed to matter, but more importantly, other people’s lives. I couldn’t keep using love or my—admittedly—relative helplessness to excuse my actions. 

 Mother Time, something had to change. I had to find a way to heal. 

 When it came to that goal, check-in chats with Korix and indulging in a family were definitely a nice start, but in the end, all these things did was keep me stable while I endured a life of ongoing trauma, visited both upon myself and others. 

 And I needed to get out. 

 That was the prime lesson of this long string of events. I could no longer complacently stay in a role that was slowly— so agonizingly slowly —killing me. I had to find a way to escape it. I had to look at my own damn life and everything I wanted to accomplish with it, and I had to fight for it, even if it destroyed me. 

 Even if it hurt my loved ones, much as I’d never wanted that. 

 But I’d been talking about the aftermath of House Cerullis’ dissolution. 

 Over the next few days, the Houses diligently investigated the fire, but all collected evidence firmly indicated two things: that Korix had had nothing to do with it and that Sanya was dead. In the end, this evidence was enough to convince even Talira of these facts. 

 As for my doubts, the only reason I had them was because of Korix. He might act like the wronged and grieving brother, but I could literally see how much lighter he felt. There was an ease to him that in the past, I’d encountered only on rare occasions. 

 After a few days, things calmed down enough to hold a commemorative ceremony for all those lost in the last year, and this was what Feena found me avoiding on the afternoon in question. I’d been reviewing a list that House Kirst had provided me, one that detailed the initial placement of former Cerullis members, and when I noticed her approaching, I watched with pinched lips. 

 Since Sanya had ‘died’, my sister had been trying to get ahold of me, and I’d done my best to elude those attempts. It looked like she’d finally caught up with me, though. 

 “Thought I’d find you here,” she said once she was close enough. 

 Swinging her legs over the railing I was sitting on, Feena perched beside me, glancing down the side of a tower. 

 “Uh-huh,” I distractedly said. “And how many of the other nearby rooftops did you check before lucking out here?” 

 Laughing, Feena said, “A few. You’re a hard man to find at times.” 

 “Especially when I don’t want to be found.” 

 I pointedly glanced at her, but she merely smirked in response. When she didn’t continue with the conversation, I returned to inspecting my list. 

 Based on Kirst’s current progress, the distribution of former Cerullis members into the other Houses’ ranks was almost complete, and once that was done, we only needed to decide the fate of their old headquarters before we could put this unpleasantness behind us. I was eager to do that, even if it would take a while for Lutov to accept our new normal. 

 Damn. If dismantling one of the Houses had been this difficult, requiring such a significant catalyst to start it, what would doing the same with the other five be like? Was there any way to make the process less painful next time? 

 “Five Houses. It’s so strange,” Feena said, as if echoing my thoughts. “Makes sense, though. Five Houses to match the five saviors, when they eventually come along.” 

 Nope. I refused to discuss the ominous bullshit that had been surrounding my sister lately, and she must see it. After a moment, she moved on. 

 “I’m guessing you’re not attending the ceremony,” she said. 

 “That’s a good assumption,” I said. 

 Lifting her palm, Feena quirked an eyebrow at me. 

 “Watch it together?” she asked. 

 I grumbled something placating at her, too grateful that she’d diverged into this topic to protest it. An image of a stage got projected over Feena’s hand, and for close to an hour, she watched the opening proceedings while I paid them barely any mind. 

 I couldn’t listen to those speeches. The people being honored in them were my victims, and right now, I couldn’t stand seeing their faces, not even in my mind’s eye. I’d barely started recovering from the events of the last year, and so, I could not indulge in this chance to regress. I couldn’t become the disaster of a man I’d been toward the end of them. 

 I still didn’t know how the Rylan persona had taken over in that time. Maybe over the next few months, I could figure it out. 

 Soon enough, though, the ceremony drew my attention to it. Someone was calling me to the stage, and while the silent seconds ticked by, I watched the shukusenth, especially Talira, grow increasingly uncomfortable in their chairs. 

 “That’s right, assholes,” I said with grim satisfaction. “I’m not coming.” 

 I’d told them I wouldn’t accept recognition for my role in this catastrophe. Only Talira knew how involved Koris and I had been in a certain part of those events, but even if the rest of the shukusenth were ignorant of that, they shouldn’t bestow any honor on my other actions. The people of Lutov might be in awe of their Lokke Vitras, but most of what I tackled for them was done in the shadows. Its details must remain murky, not clearly brought into the spotlight, as the shukusenth might like. 

 And perhaps… perhaps I wasn’t ready for other people to see those deeds. Soon, maybe I’d shine a light into those dark places but not yet. 

 Eventually, my lack of presence got too awkward, and Talira stood to accept recognition in my stead. She made a pretty speech about the sacrifices of the Lokke Vitras and how worthy of a successor I’d been and blah, blah, blah. I hardly paid attention to it. 

 Talira might still be on my shit list. Just a little. 

 When the ceremony ended, Feena lowered her hand, grabbing the railing so she could lean back. 

 Peering at the sky, she said, “Well, that was painful. Well done, Zae.” 

 “We shouldn’t have focused so much attention on the gory details of what happened. It’s a mockery of those who died,” I said. “Yes, we should mourn those who are gone, but we should also honor them by changing our ways. We should make sure something like this never happens again but no. Apparently, that’s asking for too much.” 

 Feena swayed away from me— 

 “Whoa. Grouch much?” 

 —before lunging forward to hug me. 

 “It’ll be ok, Zae,” she said. “This trial is over, and for a while, we’ll have peace. You should enjoy it while it lasts.” 

 Much as I wanted to bite my sister’s head off for going cryptic again, she’d had a good point. 

 So, slumping, I said, “I’ll try.” 

 “Great!” 

 Slapping my back, Feena pulled away, and I groaned at the mischief on her face. Apparently, it was time to address the reason I’d been avoiding her for days. 

 “Mom and dad want to know when you’ll talk to Leski,” she said. “Seems that girl’s finally gotten moody enough to bother them.” 

 Yep, that was what I’d thought. 

 “I’m sorry about that, but I don’t think we should talk quite yet,” I said. “Out of this whole mess, I have one more hurdle to cross, and I can’t fix things with Leski until it’s over.” 

 With her face softening, Feena said, “You mean the Dispersal?” 

 When I nodded, she sighed. 

 “Ok,” she said. “I’ll let mom and dad know.” 

 Needing to change the subject, I asked, “How’s Baely?” 

 “Fine. Beautiful. Missing her per,” Feena said. “She’s started seeing some girl from a House Drav family.” 

 That caught my attention. 

 “Really?” I said. “Looks like I’ll have to resolve things with Leski more quickly than I’d like. I’d hate to miss my daughter’s first foray into romance.” 

 Snorting, Feena punched my shoulder. 

 “Don’t push yourself. From what I can tell, they’re taking things slow.” 

 As they should. 

 But then, Feen wrapped me in a side hug, and we spent quite a while watching air traffic buzz around Xygek’s towers. When my sister eventually stirred from her reverie, she squeezed me before dismounting the railing. 

 “I’ve got to go.” 

 Before she disappeared through the roof’s door to a stairwell, though, she glanced back at me. 

 “Will you be ok, Zae?” she called. “I know it’s been a rough year but…” 

 She didn’t finish that thought. It was a good question, though. 

 After everything that had happened, things felt different for me now. I understood the full meaning of the Lokke Vitras role, including what it was at its heights and its most sordid moments. I understood how much it was harming… well, everyone. I understood exactly how difficult my dream of gaining freedom from the House system, both for myself and Lutov, would be. 

 I was no longer certain about whether I’d ever achieve that goal. 

 That didn’t mean I’d stop trying, though. So, I put on my best smile for my sister and said. 

 “Don’t worry, Feena. Whatever comes my way, I’ll always be fine in the end.”

Chapter 90: Resolution with Them
When it came to Damari’s formal Dispersal, their sister had been exceedingly kind to me. She’d delayed it for months, all to accommodate my busy schedule, because she knew how badly I needed to be here. So, on arriving to it, I found Misah, leaving Korix trailing behind me, and once I'd reached her, I deeply bowed. 

 “Thank you for how long you’ve waited,” I said. “I am in your debt.” 

 The last year might have been mostly hell, but it had come with one, significant improvement. As I did something so far outside the bounds of Korix’s view about the Lokke Vitras role, I didn’t hear him click his tongue behind me, and his newfound faith in me warmed my heart. 

 That same faith couldn’t be found in Misah. She dubiously eyed me as I rose from my bow. 

 “It was no trouble. Really,” she said. “Damari would have wanted it.” 

 And although I’d love to reject this idea out of pure self-hatred, I couldn’t, not when I knew it to be true. 

 “Still. I feel as if I owe you a debt, and I would like to repay it now, if you don’t mind,” I said. “I have certain beliefs about owing anyone favors.” 

 “That’s an understatement,” Korix said at my back. 

 Misah and I ignored him. 

 Shrugging at me, she said, “Whatever makes you comfortable, Lokke Vitras, but it truly wasn’t any trouble.” 

 “I’m glad to hear it,” I said. “In that case, I would like to formally adopt you into my family, if you’re amenable to it. By that, I mean the family I’ve chosen, not the one that I hold with shukusen Talira and my parents. Much as it pains me to say, you have no immediate family left, although you certainly have a lot of friends.” 

 Pausing, I looked over the multitude of strangers around us, most of whom were here to support Misah. Damari certainly hadn’t had this many people in their life, preferring to keep their company with only a select few. 

 “I don’t mean to patronize you with this offer. From what I’ve seen, you’re more than capable of taking care of yourself,” I continued, “but this is the only way I can repay my debt to you at the moment. Plus, Damari…” 

 Breaking off, I bit my lip, wondering if I should share this fact with my friend’s sister. 

 Once I’d decided, I said, “Before they died, your sibling asked me to take care of you, and I’d like to honor that wish.” 

 Thank Mother Time, Misah didn’t look flustered by my offer, like I’d thought she might. After a moment’s consideration, she dipped into a shallow bow. 

 “Then, I am honored to accept.” 

 Straightening, Misah extended a hand toward the gathering. 

 “Be welcome to this Dispersal, cousin Zaeden. Please, share your stories of the deceased, so that when we join them in the Collective, we may know them better. 

 She’d delivered that formal greeting well, unhindered by emotion, but that shouldn’t have surprised me. Unlike with me, she’d had months to grieve. 

 Returning her bow, I said, ‘Thank you, cousin Misah. I look forward to hearing your stories as well.” 

 Because that was what a Dispersal was. For hours, those of us who’d known Damari swapped tales of the time we’d had with them, and as the sun approached the horizon, we gathered around Misah. She was holding a small cask filled with ashes, the remnant that I could find in a burnt-out strike ship. 

 Korix had not been happy about me returning to that place, especially alone. It had been one of the few times I’d disregarded his feelings about something. I’d be damned if I was going to leave my friend in the Tainted Lands, and the proof of my dedication was found in Misah’s arms now. 

 We were fortunate for this Dispersal. As Misah readied to scatter the ashes, a breeze, blowing away from the group, whooshed through us, and it quickly carried a cloud of my friend into the sunset. It was a beautifully poignant scene, all told, and I wasn’t ashamed to admit that at the sight, a few tears broke free of my control. 

 Then, it was over, and while other people left or made further plans, Korix and I looked for the two people we’d been avoiding to this point. We found them on the outskirts of the gathering, and when they saw us coming, they turned to lead us deeper into the surrounding planes, although Baely graced us with a brilliant smile first. 

 How I loved my daughter. 

 Once we were far enough away, we stopped, forming a circle without a word. We’d had plenty of meetings like this before, although in the past, the subject matter we’d discussed had never been quite as heavy as what we must cover today. 

 After a moment, Korix lifted a finger from his crossed arms. 

 “I’ll go first, but that’s only because my issues won’t be nearly as difficult to handle as yours,” he said. “So, first. Personal problems. Obviously, I’m struggling with the loss of loved ones, the same as everyone else.” 

 True. Even if we didn’t count Damari, he’d lost Sanya, whether she was alive or not. In either case, the two siblings could never have contact again. 

 “Grieving the dead is always a long and arduous process, and everyone has a different path on that journey,” Korix said. “I know it will be particularly difficult for you, Baely.” 

 Tearing up, my daughter hugged their elbows. 

 “I miss Auncle Damari,” they said in a small voice. 

 How I longed to hug them and tell them that eventually, things would get better, but Leski got there first. Considering how strained our relationship was right now, I wasn’t sure how comfortable she’d be with physical contact from me, so I kept my distance. 

 “I’m here, whenever you’re ready to talk,” my wife told Baely. 

 And oh! Her use of ‘I’ instead of ‘we’ hurt. 

 With a sniff, Baely waved at Korix. 

 “Sorry, dad,” she said. “You were saying?” 

 “You don’t have to apologize, sweetie,” Korix said, “but I will continue so we can get my issues out of the way. You can go next, if you like.” 

 With a small smile, Baely said, “Sounds good.” 

 And the ball was returned to Korix. 

 “Besides what I’ve already said, my only other problem is lingering guilt, something I… can’t… handle anymore,” he said before shaking himself. 

 I couldn’t blame him for that, though. I knew how difficult admitting a weakness could be. 

 “Because of that, I’ve decided that save for special circumstances, I won’t do missions for Kolb anymore,” Korix said. “It’s not good for me.” 

 “I could have told you that,” I said under my breath. 

 Korix shot a glare at me, but otherwise, he ignored what I’d said. 

 “Interpersonally, between us? My concerns will soon be addressed, I’m sure,” he said, glancing at me. “So, Baely? What have you got for us, sweetie?” 

 Claiming all of their parents’ attention at once usually discomfited Baely, at least at first, and this was seen in how they were shuffling in place now. 

 “Maybe I’ll sound a bit too knowledgeable about this, but I think I’m having an existential crisis right now? Maybe?” they said with a wince. “The last few months have taught me a lot about death and how much danger exists in the world. I don’t like knowing how easily the gift of life can be taken away.”  

 And I hated that. I’d known my daughter’s loss of innocence would start soon, but that didn’t mean I’d been looking forward to it. 

 “I’m also having a hard time with fitting my previously held images of you, as my parents, with what I know about you now. Even you, mom,” Baely said. “Please, don’t go all self-hating because I said that. I still love you, more than I can say. I’m simply struggling with the realization that you’re not perfect. You’re just as human as me or anyone else in the world.” 

 Look at that. My daughter was growing up and doing it well. Also, how glad was I that she’d added that bit about not feeling guilty? She knew us well. 

 “Lastly…” 

 Here, Baely went nervous again, darting their gaze between us. 

 “I’m worried about you three. Are you… ok? Or… or are you separating or-?” 

 They cut off, shaking their head. 

 “Don’t answer that. Not yet,” they said. “I only said something because the question’s been eating at me.” 

 And we’d get around to answering it as soon as the first part of our meeting was done. Honestly? I was worried about it too. 

 “But that’s all for me,” Baely said while flushing. “Who’s next?” 

 I caught Leski’s eye, raising an eyebrow, but when she glared at me, I sighed. 

 “I’m dealing with too many personal problems to count right now, but they all boil down to the fact that I’m tired,” I said. “A few weeks of peace will solve most of those issues, though, and unless some new crisis erupts, we’re due for something like that. In other words? Don’t worry about me. As for problems between us…” 

 How did I express how terrified I was of what was happening in my family? 

 “I’ve made a lot of mistakes recently, and it’s caused all of you far too much distress. I’m sorry for that,” I said. “I know things have changed between us, possibly in an irrevocable way, but still, I want you to know that I will do whatever I must to repair things between us.” 

 At that, Korix simply sighed, but of course he did. Considering how often I’d already apologized to my family, he’d told me that he thought my regret was a bit overkill.  

 He didn’t understand, though. Sure, I’d resolved to take care of more than them alone, but even still, my loved ones were everything to me. Maintaining their wellbeing was an integral part of who I was, and I’d failed them. 

 “I have nothing else, though,” I say. “So… Leski?” 

 Even with the prompt, my wife remained silent, taking forever to gather her thoughts. When she opened her mouth, I was  about ready to weep. 

 “All of my problems are interpersonal in nature,” she said. “I’m fucking furious with you, Ko and Zae, for what you did. You know what I’m talking about.” 

 She paused to jab a finger toward us, and while Baely looked on with mystification, my heart fell through my feet. I’d been right. Things were over between us. 

 “But I also understand it, or I understand it enough to set it aside. I have to if we’re to move forward,” Leski continued. “Considering that, there’s no point in dwelling on the past.” 

 Or… not? Maybe? 

 “I’m also miffed by how little you’ve been communicating with me since I left, Zae,” Leski said. “I know it’s what you do. You like to give the wronged party space, which is wise, but for this long? Really?” 

 She was looking at me as if expecting an answer. 

 So, in the quietest and meekest voice I could muster, I said, “I’m sorry.” 

 With her nose wrinkling, Leski waved away the apology as if it were nothing. 

 “We’ll see how sorry you are over the next few months,” she said, “but none of that is my biggest issue at the moment. No, that’s… well. I suppose it’s actually a personal problem, despite what I said.” 

 Biting her lip, she looked away before taking a deep breath. 

 “I feel left out.” 

 She met Korix’s eyes and mine in sequence. 

 “I know that what I have with you will never match what’s between you, separately,” she said. “You two have a bond that goes deeper than marriage or the love that we share for one another, and most of the time, I’m fine with that. But I do feel left out, as I said. I think… I don’t know. I suppose I could use more reminders that you’re as committed to me as you are toward each other, going forward at least.” 

 I’d had no idea she’d felt that way. 

 “We can do that,” Korix said. 

 I nodded my own agreement, even as I added. 

 “Does that mean you’re staying?” 

 With a strangled cry, Leski reached for me, which I naturally stepped away from. 

 “Of course I’m staying, you insecure moron,” she shouted. “Over one hundred fucking years I’ve stuck with you, through so many trials, and you still question that? You have serious trust issues, you know.” 

 Shit. Seemed like I’d touched on a nerve. 

 Licking my lips, I said, “I’ll… readily admit to that.” 

 “Don’t get on his case too much, love,” Korix said. “It’s at least partially my fault.” 

 This only made Leski glare at him, but Baely, on the other hand, burst into laughter. 

 “Sorry,” she gasped after a moment. “It’s just… I never had anything to worry about, did I? You three will be fine.” 

 “Yes, honey, we will be,” Leski said before eyeing me and Korix. “In time, we will.” 

 But she spread her arms, and my family took the cue. We fell on each other, enjoying this release of the tension between us, and I never wanted to let them go. This? How they healed me? It was why I insisted on keeping them in my life, despite any additional trouble that having relationships might bring. 

 Eventually, though, we broke apart, moving onto the second part of these types of meetings. 

 “How can mom and I help you, dad?” my daughter asked. 

 Korix started answering them, but I was too stuck watching the three of them to listen. This was my family, always there for one another. Always fighting to work through our problems so we could be happy together. This was me, loving them with all of my heart. This was us, and for that, there was no addition needed. We were unique and special, if only to each other, and we needed nothing else. 

 This was us. Let it always be enough.

Addendum
I’m sorry if that got too sappy for you at the end, Elliot, but I need you to understand this part of my life. I need you to know how important they are to me, much like you are as well. Plus, I can’t help but dwell on the sparse gems of happiness scattered across my life. Who wouldn’t clutch things like that to themselves? 

 I know this part of my story was a lot. I know that some of it has probably been difficult for you. If you’ve stuck with me to this point, thank you. It’s more than I deserve. And if you’ve found a way to look past my origins to focus on the man it made me… that’s more than I could ever hope for. 

 At this point, I meant to move onto our story, Elliot, but something… 

 I don’t know how to describe it. It’s like my attention’s been drawn to a previously buried set of memories or… something. I have yet to decide if I’ll share those with you. Perhaps I should, but at the least, I need to take a break first. I have to check on you, make sure you’re still asleep. Mother Time, your nightmares have gotten so much worse lately… 

 But once I’ve done that, I’ll return, and when you’re ready, we can continue into the next chapter of my life, whatever it will be.

The Mother Time Conundrum
Since this book is mostly about Zaeden's healing from all the trauma he's accumulated throughout his life, we're having trouble writing it. We are still in the process of healing ourselves, so sometimes, we hit a block when we reach a portion of the story that we haven't experienced ourselves. Hence, this book may take a while to be fully finished.
If you'd like to skip ahead to Another Perspective, you're welcome to. While The Mother Time Conundrum definitely adds much needed content to Zaeden's story, one doesn't need to read it to understand the conclusion of his books.

To: Elliot
Elliot, 

   

 I’ll start this part of my story with a qualifier, love. It will be… strange. 

 I’m hesitant to record it because when I consider this part of my life, it’s as if I’m remembering it for the first time. I’m having a hard time with believing any of it could be real, which… really should be old hat for me by now. 

 You’ll see what I mean by all of that soon. 

 One additional spoiler for you: I can near guarantee that how this part of my story resolves will be incredibly frustrating for you. In some ways, it will be like the events contained in it never happened, even if they most certainly did, for me at least. 

 I think. 

 Even I find this annoying as hell, and most of what’s contained here is horrific in nature. Feel free to skip to the next part, if you like. 

 The only reason I’m recording a draft of this is because it explains a large piece of what I’ll be doing in the coming weeks. It explains one reason I’ve been so resigned to my fate, and you deserve to know every reason for why I do what I will do. 

 And lastly, it might help you with your own internal struggles, my love. To be honest, I never thought I’d meet someone with the same unique set of… difficulties—we’ll put it—that I deal with. You’ll see what I mean by that soon enough. But I look at you and all that you’re going through right now and I see a version of myself from the last few decades, if only in part. Your journey is, of course, your own, and I’d never think to claim differently, but still, I can’t help but find a sense of camaraderie with you about this, the one thing I never thought someone else could understand. 

 But that’s all I’ll give you for now, Elliot. Choose whether you want to listen or not, and know that I support your decision either way. 

   

 And as always, I love you. 

 -Zaeden

Another Perspective