# Clash with the Ancients
# To: Elliot
Elliot,
Remember to breathe, love. In: one, two. Out: one, two. And repeat.
Keep doing this until you’ve calmed down. You’ve always forgotten how much you need air when you’re upset.
All right, my love. Are you focused? I need you to be before you continue because this next part will be hard to hear.
I’m sorry I had to leave you like this. Right now, you’re probably huddled over me, wondering how you can continue.
I’m not speaking from vanity here. For all I know, you’re fine, listening to this with your head held high while you return to your army’s encampment.
I believe, however, that you’re like me, and I’ve been where you are too many times to count. You probably screamed your throat raw before searching for clues about… who killed me.
I hope you find this before you tear off in a rage. I was never sure about that part. The last I saw of you, you’d left your grandkids in your cottage, having just recovered your memories of me, and once that happened, not a lot of cognizant conversation happened between us.
I hope you find this. I hope it helps you until I’m ripped out of your mind, and if not, I hope Victor will comfort you instead.
Please, find over the next several dozen hours an account of every important event in my life. Here, you’ll find all the personal details that I kept from you, all my worst failings and greatest triumphs, lightly edited for clarity.
May I become as much of a story to you as what you hold in your hands.
I love you.
-Zaeden
***[TTS To: Elliot](https://hischosenfuture.com/attachments/48)***
# Chapter 1: My Life Before
As I took one wavering step after another on top of the garden wall, I cradled my precious burden to my chest, making my fingers a cage for their wriggling bodies.
One would think that after so many times making this crossing, doing it now would come naturally to me, but past experience didn’t make the ground lie any less far below me. If I focused on it, my world narrowed down until my balance started slipping, and a fall right now would be… bad.
This had never stopped me from getting what I wanted, though.
When I reached my goal, I leapt onto the closest tree branch after my array had run through the calculations needed to do that noiselessly. Most of the time, I could do something like this without relying on that lovely bit of tech in my head, but I wanted to make sure I was a ghost among the leaves right now.
While creeping along my current branch, I found my target leaning against the base of the tree. The younger boy had his knees propped up, resting his hands on his thighs, palm up, and every so often, he swung one in an arch toward the other, probably reading one of those stuffy scientific reports he loved so much. Once I’d reached a decent position above him, I extended my cupped hands, already hearing the shrieks that were sure to come.
Before I could do anything, however, someone snatched my wrist, and I glared at the woman who’d come to interrupt my plans. As she dipped her head in greeting, her impish smile poked fun at me.
“Zaeden,” she said.
She’d been kind enough to let my array catch her sub-vocal utterance, and showing her my teeth, I quietly snapped them together, at which she lifted a hand to cover her grin. I replied with a message, sending it to her array.
*Damnit, Feena, getting here took a lot of work. Please, let me have my fun for once.*
Cocking her head, Feena said, “For once?”
Mother Time, I couldn’t decide. Should I growl at her, descending even further into a feral, animal state, or…?
No.
I smiled at her, letting my widened eyes work their magic, and after a moment, Feena shook her head with a sigh escaping through her nose. Almost, she released me, stopping at the last minute.
“Not on his head,” she said.
Snapping my eyes to slits, I gave her a flat stare, but when she freed my wrist, I shuffled to the side.
Returning to the position I’d been holding before Feena had interrupted me, I unlaced my fingers, pulling my hands apart, and the earthworms I’d gathered earlier this morning twisted and writhed in the air before plopping into the grass and fallen leaves below. One even landed on my target’s leg.
With a startled shout, he stumbled to his feet, swiping at his skin, and I burst into laughter. Freezing, my target snapped his head up, sending his blonde hair flying, so he could find me in the tree.
“Zae, you asshole!” he growled.
“Hiya, Phen-ah!”
Something had shoved into me, and no matter how hard I fought to maintain my perch, I couldn’t do it, toppling forward instead. Fortunately, I was cognizant enough to heed my array’s helpful warnings as I fell.
When a branch slammed into my waist, I had my hands ready to serve as a buffer, lessening the severity of the blow. It still fucking *hurt,* but no bones broke, which was a plus. Twirling over the branch, I tumbled once more.
With a few more grabs at twigs and leaves, I touched down on my feet, wheeling my arms to stay there. Stepping in front of me, my former target kept his face purposefully blank while jabbing the heel of his palm into my chest. At my impact with the ground, I coughed while my eyes started watering, and groaning, I curled onto my side.
Someone landed beside me.
“Hell, Feena,” I wheezed.
“You deserved that,” she said with a chuckle.
“Ugh…”
My sister flopped to the ground beside me, leaving my brother glaring at me with fire in his eyes.
*“Fine,” *I said before going deadpan. “I deserved to get pushed out of a tree.”
Satisfied, Pheniks dropped to the ground between us, as far from the earthworms as he could get, and thus, he completed the circle.
I’d always wondered how my parents had dragged permission for *three* children out of House Drav, especially ones as close in age as we were. With how regulated that House kept Lutov’s population, most people didn’t have siblings, let alone a pair of them.
However they’d accomplished the impossible, I was grateful for it. Feena and Pheniks meant everything to me, no matter how much I might torment my little brother.
Sitting up, I scrubbed my watering eyes while reading through my array’s assessment of the damage I’d acquired. The tree and ground had bruised me a little, but since I’d sustained no other injuries, I should be healed up in a few minutes.
As expected.
Apparently finished with greeting our sister, Pheniks rested an elbow on his knee, propping his head up.
“When did you get home?’ he asked.
“Just now,” Feena said before plucking a blade of grass from the ground. “I saw Zae strolling on the garden wall while I was headed to the house. Figured I should see what our troublemaker was up to.”
“You didn’t get here fast enough to stop him,” Pheniks grumbled.
“Who says she-?”
Feena kicked me with her pleasant grin never faltering.
*“Ow!” *I yelped. “For Mother Time’s sake, it was only a prank! From how you two are acting, you’d think I did something worthy of the *Lokke Vitras’* attention.”
Both of them whipped their heads to me, drawing their shoulders together.
“Don’t invoke his name,” Feena said.
Rolling my eyes, I patted at the air.
“All right,” I said. “Sorry.”
I’d never understood why everyone was so afraid of House Kolb’s First Stratus. He was only a man, same as any other.
A highly trained, could tear someone apart in a second, man, sure. One set to become his House’s leader when Talira stepped down, of course.
But still.
“So, you’re home,” I said. “What was your mission this time? Can you tell us?”
Leaning back on her hands, Feena stared at the clouds while chewing on her lip.
“Mage hunt,” she eventually said.
Frowning, Pheniks said, “You’ve been doing a lot of those lately.”
“I have,” Feena said. *“Shukusen* Talira’s been pushing me to become an *ii* hunter.”
Pheniks’ breath caught, and I joined him in staring at our sister.
“But… you’re only Sixth Stratus!” I said. “Mage hunters have to be Fourth or above!”
Rolling her head to face me, Feena smiled at what she saw.
“You think our grandmother’s forgotten about that? I think she wants to elevate me soon,” she said, “but I didn’t come home to talk House business. How’ve you two been? Any drama happening that I should know about?”
I didn’t want to drop this topic. In all of Lutov, *ii* hunters had the highest chance of- of dying while on the job.
Hell, even thinking that alien word felt wrong. Unless someone wanted it, no one should enter that most final of states, and yet, *ii* hunters failed to return from missions in droves.
But Feena had always been the most stubborn of us siblings, and that was saying something. If she’d decided to switch subjects, we’d do it, like it or not.
“Mom and dad aren’t fighting, if that’s what you’re asking,” I said.
“For once,” Pheniks added.
“Wonderful!” Feena said before wincing. “Does that mean…?”
Exchanging a glance, Pheniks and I made faces at each other.
“Yes, they’re being very… passionate with one another,” he said.
“Everywhere.”
“Hence, why we’re outside.”
“Just great,” Feena drawled. “Well, we can’t exactly judge them. They’ve never said a word when we’ve brought partners home for a rendezvous.”
When Pheniks flushed, ducking his head, I tried not to snicker. My brother had never been… subtle in that arena.
“But what about you two? Any changes?” Feena asked. “I know your House naming’s coming up soon, Zae.”
“Thank Mother Time for that,” I said. “I can’t wait to be free of House Kirst’s control.”
“Show respect, Zae. By educating the young, Kirst plays an important role in Lutov.”
Collapsing to my back, I raised a hand to block the sun.
“I know, and I appreciate what they do,” I said. “I even love learning what they teach. I just…”
Flicking sun-reddened fingers against a blue-and-white canvas, I searched for the words, ones that wouldn’t raise concern in my siblings, that would also fit what I felt.
I wanted to be free, a desire I’d always had. Throughout my life, its lack had grated on me, hidden by mischievous behavior and false cheer.
Of course, Lutov provided its citizens with many variations of freedom: the freedom to choose what one did with one’s life, the freedom to be who one was without judgment, the freedom to decide if and with whom one wanted to spend their life. But implicit in these freedoms was the understanding that the choices someone made must also benefit their House because one’s chosen House claimed a person down to their spark of a soul.
Everyone liked to phrase this as ‘owing one’s House loyalty’, but I knew better. I wanted to make choices solely for myself. I wanted to live out from under the Houses’ control. I wanted freedom.
But I’d never have it.
“I’m ready to move on with my life,” I said. “But hey! A few more weeks and I’ll do just that. You should hear what Phen’s been up to.”
My brother started yammering about a new experiment he’d begun while Feena indulgently listened, and I flung my arms to either side of me, closing my eyes.
What was I doing? Longing for something I’d never have? Taking joy in the persona I maintained? I hadn’t been taught to act like this, or rather, I hadn’t taught myself this behavior.
How I lived my life definitely wasn’t something that one could learn in Lutov’s educational system.
Because of our family’s position, my siblings and I had started our lesson rotations in House Kirst at an earlier age than most children would. I’d joined a group of older kids, and along with lessons from other Houses, we’d learned how to accomplish House Kolb’s primary purpose: protecting Lutov both from itself and from others. That training had centered itself in two areas.
In combat, our instructors had taught us that to responsibly wield House Kolb's weapons, one must rely only on one’s training and occasionally, instinct. When running a mission, one could never indulge in emotions or an exercise of morality. These were the enemies that would see a House Kolb member killed.
How we’d shuddered at the first few mentions of death. How quickly that reaction had faded.
In infiltration, we’d learned how to separate ourselves from our identity, becoming another person. We’d learned how to forsake the comfort of friends or family for extended lengths of time and how to construct a persona meant only to please one’s target. When worming into another House’s ranks, any slip in these practices could lead to discovery, and once one was burned, one was no longer of use to their House.
How the others had cringed at this idea. How quickly I’d learned to do the same.
My fellow students had taken these lessons, applying their surface meanings to their lives. I’d dove deeper.
Whether I liked it or not, House Kolb would one day become my life. I’d done well in my lessons with the other Houses, could join any of them I wanted, but Kolb was the only one that granted its members more than a teasing taste of true freedom. If I must choose a House, I’d pick one like that, hands down.
But if I’d belonged to Kolb with the personality that I’d had as a child, someone would have noticed how little devotion I had for the Houses. Its members were more observant of details like that, after all.
Therefore, I’d had to become someone whose very nature screamed Kolb, the epitome of their values, and their values shone through what they taught Lutov’s children.
Responsible use of a weapon required detaching from my desires and feelings? To Kolb, I was the weapon.
If this was so, I had to become emotionless, analytical, operating only on facts, but I also couldn’t act this way around other people, even House Kolb members. They would have found the change in me disturbing.
So, at six-years-old, I’d created the persona that I’d lived throughout the nineteen years since, and over time, it had erased who I’d been as a child. If I let it, it could *be* me, as it sometimes was when I slipped, but I could not be cheerful, as the persona required. I could not be fun-loving. I might enjoy pranks to a degree, but they must give me no real pleasure. I’d drained myself of feelings, and I intended to stay this way until maybe, someday, I could wrest myself free of the Houses.
But that hope, held secret even from myself most of the time, had little chance of fulfillment, and unless I achieved it, I must always pretend around the people in my life.
“-combat-” Feena said.
Shooting upright, I blurted, “What was that?”
Feena gave me an amused smile.
“I was asking Phen if you two would show me how much you’ve progressed with your combat training,” she said.
With his face souring, Pheniks said, “Do we have to? You know I don’t like-”
“Yes!” I shouted, springing to my feet. “Yes, yes, yes! Let’s go!”
***[TTS Chapter One](https://hischosenfuture.com/attachments/49)***
# Chapter 2: Friendly Competition
Grabbing hold of my siblings’ hands, I hauled them to their feet so I could drag them behind me. Our parents’ estate might be far from their House’s training facilities in the capital, but they, as any good Kolb member would, had their own weapons chamber here.
As I raced through our home toward it, I kept an ear open for advance warning of our parents’ antics, knowing that running across them while they were… busy would make my siblings uncomfortable, but fortunately, nothing impeded our progress, although Pheniks protested the whole way.
The estate’s weapons chamber consisted of a smaller building, standing free of the main house. Unlike where we slept at night, this building’s walls were made of stucco with narrow windows punched through them. The roof’s corners lifted into points, and its door opened manually rather than doing it automatically as we approached. Supposedly, it had been constructed in a style from Ostiu, a favorite vacation spot for my parents.
I wouldn’t know. I’d never been.
This foreign styling vanished inside with a white floor, ceiling, and walls replacing it. Dropping my hold on my siblings, I flicked through settings options in my array.
“So, what’ll it be?” I asked. “All three of us, looking out for ourselves? The unHoused kids against a Sixth Stratus adult? One on one?”
Shaking out the wrist I’d been holding, Pheniks said, “I’m not doing this. Not today.”
He stalked to a corner, letting it hug him.
“If you want to know how I’m doing with my combat lessons, you can request a report on it, the same as everyone else, Feena.”
Shrugging, my sister faced me with a fierce grin.
“One on one then, *little brother,”* she said. “Weapon preference?”
“Don’t have one,” I said, finishing up with the scenario’s options.
I truly didn’t care what Feena chose. Standard-issue Lutovish rifle or bow and arrow from Ibis, I had a basic understanding of all the weapon types typically put into use, never having seen a reason to build a preference for one over the others. They all did the same thing in the end.
“Short swords,” Feena said. “Let’s go easy this time.”
“Sounds good,” I said.
With one last variable added, I extended an invitation to her array, and once she’d accepted it, our white room shimmered into a flat field of grass. Feena glanced around, swinging her newly acquired sword so she could adjust to its weight. Watching her, I did the same, no matter how unnecessary I found it.
“This landscape’s pretty simple,” she said. “Did you give up on the fancy battle scenes between the Favored and those from beyond the stars?”
“I'm tweaking those,” I said.
A lie. I’d been wanting to test myself against my sister since the last time she’d visited. Her placement within House Kolb would be ideal for me. I’d like to know if I met its standards, and using a blank scene for this fight would best serve that purpose.
“All right, then,” Feena said. “When you’re ready.”
She settled into a loose stance, and since she’d been kind enough to give me the time for it, I considered which of my pre-composed battle plans would work best here. It had been a while since I’d last seen my sister fight so…
I started with the basics: a lunge for her torso, some slashes at her sides. Everything I tried would have been a killing blow if she hadn’t dodged it with her blasted House Kolb speed, making her form blur at times. Hell, I was ready to have that tool at my disposal.
She attacked me too, of course, but I caught most of these strikes on the flat of my blade before shoving her away. The few blows I retreated from left stinging slashes in their wake. The scenario made my brain tell my body that it was injured, even if it wasn’t.
After this had continued for about a minute, I decided I’d learned enough from this. I could easily pose as a Sixth Stratus for as long as I wanted.
With that determined, I should let my sister run me through, ending the fight, but something in me had always refused to lose, especially when I had a clean way to defeat my opponent.
After queuing a request in my array, I dropped my sword right as Feena took another swing at me, and gasping, she fought to pull her strike, even though that was contradictory to House Kolb lessons. Even though these weapons weren’t real.
She teetered in place, almost falling into me, and I helped her efforts to straighten by punching her in the face. Stumbling backward, she clutched her nose with her eyes watering, and activating my earlier queued request, I raised my arm toward her.
My very real rifle formed in my waiting hand, and I squeezed its trigger, sending an energy bolt flying from it. It took Feena in the arm, and grunting, she lost control of her weapon, letting it fall from limp fingers.
I’d already moved, scooping my sword off of the ground, and with it lifted, I used its point to encourage her retreat from me until red seeped into the air around her, indicating that we’d reached the room’s bounds.
“Zae!” someone shouted behind me. “Zae, stop!”
But I wasn’t listening. My focus was on Feena and her matching green gaze while I waited for the fire of combat to die in her. Once it had, I stepped away but not before the barest flicker of fear sparked to life in my sister.
Pheniks rushed past me, reaching for the seared gouge in Feena’s arm. After a quick inspection, he spun on me with his jaw clenched.
“What the hell, Zae?” he hissed.
For a moment, all I could do was blink at my brother. I’d known he wouldn’t be happy about what I’d done, but I hadn’t expected him to be *this* angry.
“The point of this was to display my progress in combat training, yes?” I cautiously said. “My instructors have always said that social rules and interpersonal connections have no place on the battlefield. You do what you must to survive. To win.”
Shrugging, I terminated our session, which had white walls springing into place around us.
“Plus, that burn should heal in, what? Ten minutes, Feena?” I asked.
“Something like that,” she said.
“There. No real harm done, although I’m sorry you were hurt,” I said. “Should I have done something differently? If I’ve misinterpreted that lesson, I’d like to know before my House naming and… if I’m wrong, I want to know *why* someone hasn’t pointed it out to me before now.”
I made sure to infuse irritation, confusion, and concern in that question, and hearing it, Feena ruffled my hair, even though she was a head or two shorter than me.
“No worries. You did a good job,” she said before glancing over her shoulder. “Stop sulking, Phen. I’m fine.”
Glowering at me, my brother joined us, and I ducked my head to avoid his gaze.
“I’m sorry,” I said. “How do I fix it? Do you want me to finish your House Vaessa homework for a week? Take notes on your experiments?”
Crossing his arms, Pheniks pursed his lips while he thought.
“No pranks,” he eventually pronounced, “for a month.”
I staggered as if from a physical blow.
“You- you wouldn’t,” I breathed.
“I would,” Pheniks said.
That thin-lipped, unattractive grin of his crawled onto his face, and despite how much it had always made me want to laugh, I acted as if it had intimidated me.
“Fine.”
“What about me?” Feena asked. “I was the one hurt.”
“You?” I said. “As way of apology, I won’t tell your fellow Sixth Strata that an unHoused bested you.”
Feena opened her mouth to retort before snapping it closed again and jabbing a finger at me.
“You’re an asshole,” she growled.
I smiled sweetly at her, even considered innocently batting my eyelashes, but before I could decide if that would be too much, a message slid into my array. When I swiped it to centerfield, my siblings did the same, but the reason for our cohesion quickly became apparent.
*Welcome home, Feena,* the message read. *When you three are done playing in the weapons chamber, come to the dining room. Dinner’s almost ready.*
“Great. Family dinner,” I drawled. “Want to go again? Keep ‘playing’?”
Touching her burned arm, Feena laughed.
“Once was more than enough for today, thanks,” she said. “You and Phen head on over. I have to change first. Mother Time knows what our parents would do if I showed up like this.”
She hugged us both before turning toward the exit. After she’d left, I stared at the door, chewing on my lip.
I should have let her win that fight. Now, she might tell who knew how many people about how her little brother had beaten her in a duel. Why hadn’t I let her win?
“Zae? Dinner?”
Jumping, I snapped my gaze to my brother, who was quizzically watching me.
“Sorry. I just- I don’t like that I hurt her,” I said. “I was operating on instinct, you know? I don’t like that House Kolb’s training has made violence automatic for me. Who knows what’ll happen once I’ve chosen them at my House naming?”
“Then, don’t.”
What was Pheniks talking about? When I frowned at him, he flushed, rubbing the back of his neck.
“All I’m saying is that you have five other choices. You don’t have to pick Kolb just because mom, dad, and Feena are members of it,” he said before turning an even deeper shade of red. “Stop looking at me like that! Let’s just go.”
He hurried out of the weapons chamber with me on his heels.
Pheniks could never understand why he'd confused me. I didn’t want to choose a House, but because I had to, I’d done it so long ago that I hardly remembered making the decision. That choice had made me who I was, and even if I’d wanted to, I didn’t think I could change.
---
I zoned out through most of dinner, mechanically eating what I was sure were delicious dishes. They were tasteless to me.
My family’s conversation became a buzz at the back of my mind with my ingrained persona rising to speak as needed.
Perhaps I should have been paying more attention, but I was bored and exhausted. All I wanted was to leave this place, listen to more of my current book’s narration in my room, and eventually fall asleep, but having Feena come home warranted a long family affair.
It was good to see her. I cared for my sister, no matter how thoroughly I tried to uproot such sentimentality, but she could have chosen a better day to make her homecoming.
I couldn’t pinpoint what had me so tired, and this inability… irritated me. I picked at it while dad asked Feena about the mage she’d brought in, while Pheniks stumbled over his words when describing his pet project, while our parents’ kisses made my siblings wince.
Had boredom caused this fatigue?
Since my last lesson rotation, I’d been steadily losing energy. A month with nothing in my life but leftover homework, my brother in the evenings, and my parents when they weren’t on missions had worn on me.
I’d been running in place, going nowhere, with nothing to distract me from the futility of my heart’s desire, and knowing that this served as a preview for the rest of my life, I’d nearly taken off for the irradiated Tainted Expanse several times in recent days. Better to die of that place’s miserably imparted poison than to live for who knew how long, trapped like one of the rats in my brother’s experiments.
To forever chase a desire that was just out of reach, to strive, to struggle, to serve, to- to-
Something warm was tented over my hand, and I realized that I’d clenched it. Glancing up, I found my mother beside me with her hand on top of mine and her brow crinkled.
“Zae, love, are you ok?” she asked.
Damnit, I’d slipped again. What was wrong with me today?
Had anyone else seen through the crack in my persona?
From what I could tell, it didn’t seem likely. Dad was chatting with Pheniks while Feena bounced her gaze between them, leaving only my mother.
Covering her hand on mine, I said, “Everything’s fine. It’s just my House naming. I’m worried about it.”
If anything, my explanation only wrinkled her face further, and she brushed my cheek.
“Don’t let it bother you,” she said. “When they call you to the dais, you’ll know what to say.”
“So I’ve been told,” I said with a chuckle.
“So it will be,” mom countered. “I promise.”
Slowly breathing out, I nodded.
“Ok.”
Patting my hand, my mother returned to the conversation, and I almost tuned them out again, but Feena said something that caught my interest.
“-come with me?”
“Come with you where now?” mom asked.
I perked up. Maybe a change in scenery could pull me out of this newly discovered, constant need to sleep.
“I was just saying that my next mission is starting in Zoln,” Feena said. “I know how much you and dad love Ostiu. Maybe you two and the brats could come with me.”
“Hey!” Pheniks shouted.
I flicked a spoonful of ice cream at her, which she deftly dodged, and while my mother glared at us, dad shook his head.
“We can’t. Mom… *shukusen* Talira’s got a mission for us,” he said. “We’re reporting to her tomorrow.”
“Then, let the boys come,” Feena said. “They’d only accompany me as far as Zoln, and I have friends in House Zan who can look after them while I finish my mission. From the information I’ve been given, it shouldn’t take me long.”
“House Zan?” mom said, making a face. “I don’t know, honey.”
“Please, mom?” Pheniks said with a bit of wheedling in his voice. “We visit Ibis during our House Vaessa rotations, but I’ve never been to Ostiu.”
He’d spoken that nation’s name with such reverence, and hearing it, I winced. Considering Ostiu was the scientific research citadel of our world's second continent, his fascination with it made sense, but another, less savory subject had always drawn him there too.
My parents knew this, and with the addition of that to their earlier doubts, they’d probably refuse Feena’s request, which I couldn’t have.
Something needed to change before my House naming ceremony or I truly would cross the demarcation line into the Tainted Expanse.
Scraping my chair along the floor, I shot to my feet, and the room’s eyes fixed on me while my parents briefly tensed in preparation of an attack. At least some people in my family had shown the proper response to an unexpected commotion like mine.
“Let us go with Feena,” I said. “Make it my House naming gift. Please.”
Cocking their heads, my parents dropped into thoughtful silence. A troublemaker, I might pretend to be, but I never asked for anything. If I needed something, I worked for it. Earned it. I didn’t let anyone put me in their debt and would never give anyone my Favor. Not even my family.
“I suppose we could allow it as a gift,” mom slowly said, “if that’s what you really want.”
“It is,” I said.
“Then, you’d better hurry and pack,” dad said with a heavy sigh. “From what I gather, Feena’s shuttle will arrive soon to pick her up. Right, dear?”
Seemingly pleased with having gotten what she’d wanted, Feena was lounging in her chair, hanging her arms off its backrest.
“In an hour,” she said.
That would give me time for…
“Shit!” I shouted, racing out of the room with Pheniks behind me.
“Language!” someone called.
Rolling my eyes, I glanced at my brother, and he beamed at me.
We were going. We were leaving! Lutov, Ibis, Ostiu, I didn’t care where we went. As long as I could escape what had disturbed my self-imposed discipline.
***[TTS Chapter Two](https://hischosenfuture.com/attachments/50)***
# Chapter 3: How to Deal with Bullshit
During yearly lesson rotations, my stints with Vaessa, the House in charge of maintaining Ibis, had always been my least favorite. Mom and dad disliked Zan for reasons they wouldn’t explain. Feena couldn’t stand Drav for keeping Lutov’s population low, and for some reason, something about Vaessa never failed to piss me off.
I didn’t understand why that was. The House facilitated an outlet for my people’s stress and aggression, the primary reason we hadn’t fought a war amongst ourselves in centuries, but every time I found myself within Vaessa’s domain, I struggled with suspending my emotions, what with the desire to punch someone around every corner.
Maybe it had something to do with the House’s innate ability to attract the most sadistic and cruel of people. Maybe I resonated with the ground-down helplessness of Ibis’ native population. I didn’t know what the issue was, but I *hated* visiting Ibis because it was where House Vaessa reigned.
While I waited for Pheniks to finish his transfer through the Terminal, I tapped my foot in a staccato beat while trying to convince myself that I was only doing it to maintain my persona.
Even if this wasn’t true, I was willing to forgive myself for it. I wouldn’t escape what had disturbed my discipline until we reached Ostiu, and once there, I fully intended to recalibrate while within its borders. When we left, I’d have shaken off whatever was troubling me.
That was the hope at least.
Feena was standing near the entrance to our arrivals chamber, arguing with a receptionist. In the haste of our departure from Lutov, the override on Vaessa’s typical search and removal of high-tech gadgets had yet to arrive, which had done wonders for my sister’s temper.
She was throwing her weight around like a toddler would with their favorite toy, and while the receptionist was fighting to present her with an unyielding façade, anyone who was looking hard enough could see how much he was cringing away from her.
Behind him, a child of Ibis was waiting with a bucket and mop in hand. A female, it kept its head bowed, especially when it glanced up to find me staring at it.
Centuries ago, the children of Ibis and the Lutovish had lived side by side, equal in station, but a disaster had torn our societies apart, and ever since then, Lutov had claimed dominance. I’d always wondered how my people had won out over theirs or how they could submit to something that was as good as slavery, even if no one would use that word. If I ever gained my freedom, I would rather die than give up that most precious of gifts.
Pastel green stopped splashing over the chamber’s surfaces, and Pheniks apparated beside the beacon. After shaking off the wooziness that one always acquired during molecular transit, he padded over to me, keeping his eyes fixed on our sister.
“Problem?” he asked.
Rolling my eyes, I said, “The usual. Paperwork filed incorrectly. Wouldn’t it be nice if we could ignore that bullshit?”
“Such privilege would come with great cost,” Pheniks said. “I can only think of one person who pays it, and I don’t envy him.”
Ah, yes. The *Lokke Vitras.* So much trust was placed in whomever held that role with so many indulgences afforded to them because they were expected to serve as Lutov’s shield.
I didn’t know whether to envy or pity the man who currently held the position. Of all the Lutovish, he had the most freedom, but he was also our most tightly bound prisoner, if not to the Houses.
The receptionist arguing with Feena frowned, swiping his hand in front of his body, and while his eyes jerked back and forth, as though reading, his face soured. Closing the message he’d received, he fixed an insincere smile in place before gesturing for Feena to advance into the Travel Center, and huffing, our sister turned to us.
“Now that this annoyance is done, do either of you want a translator inserted before we leave?” she asked. “It could be useful. Possibly.”
Even as she’d spoken the question, her face had pinched, which meant she was clearly hoping for us to say no. Given that, I wasn’t sure why she’d asked.
“Why would I need to speak something besides our tongue?” Pheniks said.
He started toward Feena as if the question had already been decided, but I had other ideas.
“I’d like one, please,” I said. “I always thought it was silly that we didn’t receive one during our Vaessa rotations.”
Stumbling, Pheniks glared at me after regaining his balance, but Feena merely eyed me.
“Are you sure?” she asked. “Translator insertion’s—”
“—not pleasant, I know,” I say. “If I’m joining House Kolb, though, I’ll need one soon, right? I might as well get it out of the way now.”
Deflating, Feena gestured from me to the receptionist.
“See it done,” she said. “Zae, we’ll wait for you in the lobby.”
“Sounds good,” I chirped. “I’ll see you there.”
Feena and Pheniks left the chamber with my brother mouthing ‘you’re an idiot’ at me before disappearing, and without any family members nearby, I could drop my constantly held persona.
So far as I could tell, the receptionist didn’t notice the change in me, but his obliviousness was just as well. Instead of reassuring him about what he might have seen, I could work on constructing a more appropriate persona for this place, although I wasn’t sure if I truly needed that yet.
“Come with me,” the receptionist said.
As I followed him out of the chamber, I got a better look at the waiting child of Ibis. Its clothes were threadbare, and while its appearance wasn’t quite gaunt, it was definitely getting there.
As I passed, it flinched, and at the sight, I fought to keep my face blank. Even if this child of Ibis served at Vaessa’s pleasure, it deserved better treatment than what I’d observed here implied. No one should be abused like that.
Perhaps this was my problem with House Vaessa. Perhaps their misuse of something… of some*one* bothered me.
I couldn’t say for sure, and I’d rather not consider it now. The situation set something boiling inside of me, and placing a feeling like that to the side could be… difficult.
Eventually, the receptionist led me to a lavish room with a reclined chair as its focal point. He waved me toward it with an upturned nose.
“A *kalasa* will be with you shortly,” he said before leaving.
A quick scan of the room revealed marbled surfaces and plasma panels embedded in counters as well as a rolling cart that looked medical in nature. I was sure there was more to the place, but after finding no signs of potential danger here, I let it drop from my awareness.
Alone, I considered what to do next. Pleasing the soon to come *kalasa* wasn’t terribly important, as I wouldn’t be spending much time with them, so instead, I turned my thoughts to the procedure that I’d consigned myself to.
Would it be worth it?
When I joined House Kolb, I didn’t know whether I’d be deployed to Ibis as often as Feena had been, but in the long run, the frequency of my visits here wouldn’t matter. Understanding the Ibisian and Ostium tongues was merely one more tool that I could use, and gathering such a significant resource would be worth the price to gain it.
When the *kalasa* arrived, I was sitting in the room’s reclined chair, bouncing my leg off of it.
“I’ve been told you want a translator inserted. Is this correct?” she said. “Not many visitors to Ibis choose to endure the process.”
“I’m aware,” I said. “Please, just get started. I won’t change my mind.”
Shrugging, the *kalasa* moved about the room, preparing her instruments while I kept watch with a wary eye. Save for my brother, I’d never liked the scientist types, haughty as they typically were, but between Zan and Cerullis, the two Houses centered in scientific endeavors, House Zan members were the ones who most rubbed me the wrong way, especially in Ibis.
Back home, at least a few constraints had been placed on what they could research, but here, they had Ostiu—a nation and its people—as their playground. During rotations with Zan, the House’s members would never say what they did in their hidden testing ground, so I’d always assumed it wasn’t good.
This distaste might, of course, have come from bias. Mom and dad had always spoken of House Zan with disdain, but I’d like to think that I’d outgrown the need for my parents to form my opinions in my stead.
All of this was to say that letting a House Zan member, especially one stuck in Vaessa’s territory, mess with my head made my every danger sense scream, but I’d signed up for this. I’d go through with the translator insertion, even if I’d also monitor the *kalasa’s* progress with a wary eye.
When she was finished with her prep, coming toward me with a monitor and an intimidating-looking syringe, I shook my head.
“I don’t want to be paralyzed for this,” I said. “I’ll risk taking damage to my eye.”
The damage wouldn’t stick around for long anyway, perhaps a day at most, but when a procedure that might cause harm was performed between members of different Houses—or no House, in my case—everyone got in a tizzy about making sure that blame couldn’t fall on them if things went wrong.
“Sorry, I can’t do that,” the *kalasa* said. “If you only knew how many people make that request of me…”
She tapped on her monitor, never looking up from it, and all the while, I considered how I could change her mind. My brainstorm only took me a moment; the solution was so simple.
Still swinging my leg, I crossed my arms with a huff.
“Look,” I said, all superiority and arrogance. “I’ll sign whatever paperwork you need to get what I want, ok? But I won’t put myself at someone else’s mercy.”
As the *kalasa* snapped her eyes up to me, her face twisted. Mother Time, that frown looked like it could split her cheeks in half.
“You’re a House Kolb kid, aren’t you?” she spat. “Fine. Sign the waver. Gamble that you have the self-control to keep still throughout this procedure. What do I care?”
Hell, if I didn’t love it when my chosen persona worked as planned. In this case, playing up the influence of my parents’ House on me had helped the *kalasa* overcome her caution, making her more careless about my well-being.
After all, because of what they did, everyone hated House Kolb. The other Houses would readily acknowledge that Kolb was needed to keep Lutov safe, but necessity didn’t equal likability. Normally, handling other people’s distaste for my family’s heritage was an annoying task at best, but it had worked in my favor here.
A lengthy legal document popped into my array, and while it performed a more thorough search, I scanned the waiver for discrepancies and hidden clauses. After I was satisfied, I attached my designator, a long sequence of numbers crushed into a thumbprint-like kernel, to the end.
When I focused on the surface world again, the *kalasa* was flicking her syringe, squeezing a silver droplet through its microscopic needle, and I used that time to deaden pain receptors and stop the production of the hormones that were known to cause fear.
Theoretically, these precautions should keep me from moving during the procedure, but they were rarely used. Too many people had gotten stuck in the resulting numb state afterward, lacking the self-discipline to reverse it, and this didn’t encourage others to follow their example.
After the many times I’d already done this to myself, however, I knew I didn’t have that problem. I understood how vital pain and fear were for survival.
In situations like this, though, having the ability to turn them off was nice.
The *kalasa* had me recline in the chair, and she slowly, carefully stuck her microscopic needle through my pupil, threading it beside an optic nerve until it touched gray matter. She dumped the syringe’s contained nanites there, setting them free so they could travel to my brain’s speech center. Once there, they’d fuse with the neurons required for me to hear the Ostium and Ibisian tongues as my own.
A similar procedure, one that granted us our arrays, was performed on every Lutovish citizen when we were small, but it was done early enough in a child’s development that no one explicitly remembered what might otherwise be a terrible experience.
I’d remember this one. The *kalasa* removed her needle, and blinking, I waited for a moment, holding off on activating pain and fear again. If I did it now, I’d probably tremble myself out of this seat. The procedure had surely induced a fear too great for me to distance myself from, and I’d like an alert from my array, telling me I was in perfect health, before returning to ‘normal operation’ as well.
“Are you all right?” the *kalasa* said. “I hate it when I nick something vital.”
“I’m fine,” I said. “Just… give me a minute.”
As I sat up, resting my head in my hands, the *kalasa* shook hers, moving out of view so she could discard her used syringe. While she did that, I slowly released the block on my pain receptors while also allowing my hormones to freely flow.
As I’d thought, I was shaking by the time I’d finished, but it wasn’t body-jittering shudders, as it might have been before. Only a slight tremor had been rooted in my hands, and shoving them into my pockets, I hopped to my feet.
“Which way to the lobby?” I asked.
The *kalasa* looked up from a storecase, where she was making a record of the procedure, and when she saw me on my feet, her eyes popped.
“Sit down!” she said. “I have to monitor you for another ten minutes before you can go.”
“And I have to meet my sister,” I said. “Don’t worry, *kalasa.* Your work was impeccable. Everything’s working as it should, and if I find that there’s something wrong with me later, you always have my signed waiver to protect you.”
Mother Time, she looked like she’d licked a salt crystal. It appeared I might have made a long-term impression on a member of House Zan.
Oops.
“Take a left outside. Then, it’s two rights, and the lobby will be straight ahead,” she said.
“My thanks.”
I bowed to her, and at the sign of respect, the *kalasa* froze in place with her mouth gaping open. It was still flapping as the door slid shut behind me.
***[TTS Chapter Three](https://hischosenfuture.com/attachments/51)***
# Chapter 4: Almost There
I didn’t know if leaving the *kalasa’s* care this early was wise, but I wouldn’t keep my sister away from her mission any longer than I must. In an *ii* hunt, timing was essential, hence my rush with the translator insertion itself.
As I followed the scientist’s directions, however, I considered playing a quick prank on the House Vaessa members stationed here. Now would make the perfect time for it, what with me wandering through their facility unsupervised, but in the end, I didn’t think it would be worth it.
What advantage would I gain, besides further solidifying my persona and perhaps getting a peek at sensitive information? What sort of trouble would I be in when House Vaessa inevitably tracked the prank to me?
No, it was best to resist that urge.
When I entered the lobby—a cavernous space with several doors leading out of it—Feena and Pheniks were sitting in chairs along the wall. My sister was anxiously scanning each entrance into this place with tight eyes while my brother lounged beside her, bored.
Mother Time, he could be oblivious sometimes. Didn’t he see Feena’s agitation?
When she spotted me, she leapt to her feet, and grinning, I spread my arms wide to keep her from rushing me, returning my hands to my pockets when I could.
“All done,” I said as I joined them. “Where to next?”
“You’re ok? Really?” Feena said. “We can delay for the afternoon, if you need it.”
Throwing my head back, I groaned.
“As I’ve said multiple times in the last quarter-hour, I’m *fine.* You have a mission, Feena. You should get started on it as quickly as possible. So, how are we reaching Ostiu?”
She stared at me as if hoping the weight of her gaze would drag the truth out of me, and in my pockets, I balled my trembling hands into fists while making a funny face at her. Snorting, she relented, waving me and Pheniks toward a door with a barrier guarding it.
“We’ll take a tube to border control, go through Zan’s customs, and then, take another tube to Zoln, or you will. I’ll head straight to where my target was last seen,” she said. “This trip would have been so much easier if Zan would install some of their own beacons in Ostiu, but no. That House has to be too damn secretive.”
“Feena…” I said, glancing around.
Fortunately, no one was close enough to have heard her complaining about another House.
“Yes, yes,” Feena sighed. “Let’s get out of here. Hurry along now. Zae’s already caused enough of a holdup. We can’t afford to waste more time.”
“But you just said-” I protested.
Glaring at her, I clicked my teeth together, and Pheniks started snickering.
“Thanks, Feena,” he said. “With that, you’ll be the target of his pranks for the next few weeks. Maybe I’ll get a break from them, considering he’ll inevitably forget his promise to stop.”
As I glowered at them both, they laughed, and for the briefest moment, I let their happiness shine a shaft of light into me.
Then, I ripped it out.
Sniffing, I said, “You won’t be laughing when your weapons jam in combat training or you wake up to googly eyes, stuck on your bedroom’s ceiling.”
I started for Feena’s indicated door, although I soon slowed down so she’d overtake me. When she did, she jostled my shoulder while swiping a hand toward the barrier that was blocking our progress, and it shimmered out of existence. We took the lift behind it into the earth.
Here, immaculately carved statues stood in the room’s corners with pillars bordering the track where the tube was waiting. The marble tiles leading up to it had silver flecks in them, and the wall opposite it displayed an intricate fresco, all of which made me wrinkle my nose.
Too opulent for my tastes.
Leaning into the tube, Feena fiddled with its console, looking as if she’d fall onto the rails beside the platform all the while. While she input our destination, Pheniks waited with me.
“How bad was it?” he quietly asked. “And don’t give me the bullshit answer you gave Feena. She’s been gone for long enough that she forgets certain things. Like when you have your hands in your pockets, it means you don’t want us to see them. Are they shaking?”
And sometimes, my brother was the complete opposite of oblivious. This fact slipped from my mind at times, and when I was reminded of it, he did it in the most inconvenient of ways.
“Maybe they are, and maybe you’re right,” I said. “Either way, it doesn’t matter. It’s over.”
“So, if I wanted to have a translator inserted, you’d tell me to go for it?” Pheniks asked.
I ran my eyes over him, noting his raised eyebrows and crossed arms. I remembered when years ago, he’d broken his arm in combat training, babbling about how much it had hurt even hours after his body had healed itself. I considered what a translator insertion procedure would be like without my cheats to help, and I winced.
“No,” I said. “I don’t think it would be a good idea.”
He tilted his head with a sardonic grin and an ‘I told you so’ soon to pass through his lips, so Feena’s call for us to join her came as a relief. Once we’d climbed into the tube, its lights dimmed while its glass canopy slid shut overhead, and after a short delay, it hurtled down its tracks.
Reaching Ostiu’s border control would take a few hours, but as we zipped beneath the earth, neither of my siblings seemed inclined to talk, which was fine by me. I finished the last of my homework with the relative quiet of the tube helping me achieve the tranquil state that I worked best in. The occasional rustle from my siblings’ shifting and the tube’s shudders accented our silence, keeping it from descending into something uncomfortable.
Once my final work for House rotations was done, I found myself with free time again, and idly, I resumed the narration of the current book in my queue. Scrunching between my seat and the tube’s wall, I listened as a soothing voice told a romanticized version of Lutov’s war with those from beyond the stars, including the sacrifice of the first *Lokke Vitras* that had driven them away.
I’d always wondered if something besides her heroics had pushed those alien beings off of our planet. Based on everything I’d learned about them in House rotations, I found it odd that the innovations of humans alone, especially those from centuries ago, had been enough to force them into a retreat, but that was the line this book was trying to sell. I set my skepticism to the side while listening to it, if only for now.
I’d just gotten to the part where the first *Lokke Vitras* agreed to accompany our enemy to their home, leaving her fate as a mystery for the ages, when light built ahead of us and the tube slowed down. Soon enough, its canopy slid back, and as Feena leapt out of it, I climbed into the room beyond, jostling my sleeping brother as I did.
Someone from House Zan was waiting for us in the station. This place had a much starker appearance than what we’d just left, but its plainness made sense. Not many tourists visited Ostiu after arriving to Ibis, not when its other nations made much more pleasant destinations.
“Sixth Stratus Feena of House Kolb?” our welcome party said.
“That’s me,” Feena called.
She helped a sleepy Pheniks out of the tube before striding to the House Zan member.
“I’m here about your *ii* problem. Again,” she said. “You know… you might want to keep better track of them. With so many of them going rogue in recent years, I’m on this side of the water more often than not these days.”
“Perhaps we should,” the House Zan member said, “but let’s not discuss each other’s quality of work right now, shall we? If we did, we might be here for a while, and I’m sure you’d like to reach your destination quickly.”
“Would you look at that? Someone from Zan, Lutov’s most intellectual House, has a sensible head on his shoulders,” Feena said.
“Feena!” Pheniks gasped.
He was right to act shocked, but while I might display the same emotion, I didn’t feel it. After she’d climbed out of the tube, I’d seen Feena flutter her fingers at this man. I wasn’t sure what the gesture had meant, but he’d smiled when he’d received it.
Kind of like he was doing now. Glancing over her shoulder at us, Feena burst into laughter.
“It’s fine, you two,” she said between giggles. “This is Nyco. He and I are friends from way back when.”
Mystery solved. No wonder my sister had been acting so flagrantly ridiculous. She’d been trying to get a rise out of us.
“These are the pests I always complained about during our lessons, Nyc,” she said. “Zaeden and Pheniks. My brothers.”
“A pleasure to meet you,” Nyco said.
“Same,” I said.
Pheniks merely crossed his arms, and with her face red and her body shaking, Feena nudged Nyco with her hip.
“See what I mean?” she gasped.
Shaking his head with his eyes lifted to the ceiling, Nyco patted the top of her head.
“Don’t you have somewhere to be, Feena dear?” he asked.
“Right. Of course.”
Feena coughed until she’d wrangled her laughter under control, but then, she strode to Pheniks and me.
“Sorry. I couldn’t help myself,” she said. “Please don’t hold it against me?”
“As if we could,” I said. “Right, Phen?”
With an explosive sigh, my brother lowered his arms.
“Right,” he said. “Why I was cursed with two idiot siblings, though, I’ll never know.”
I punched his shoulder, and rubbing it, he stuck his tongue out at me. Mother Time, I loved my-
No.
Emotions must remain at arm’s length.
“Ok, you two. I have to go,” Feena said. “Nyco will take you to Zoln and show you around. Enjoy yourselves. I should be back to join the fun before day’s end tomorrow.”
“Good luck,” I said.
Patting my face, Feena hugged us both before stepping into the tube again, and with a rush of air, it sped into a black tunnel, to be diverted to her destination further along the track.
“She’ll be fine,” Pheniks said to himself.
This was the first time our sister had shared that she’d be on an *ii* hunt before leaving to finish it. Of course he was worried. Any good brother would be.
What did that make me?
“Feena tells me that you two have never visited our lovely haven of Ostiu before,” Nyco said behind us. “I’ve planned quite the tour for you. Just wait until you see Zoln! It’s never what visitors expect.”
Another tube slid into place in front of us, and Nyco clapped our shoulders. At the unexpected blow, I barely kept myself from swinging him into metal.
“You ready for an adventure?” he said. “Maybe we’ll see an *ii* before your sister finishes with retrieving hers.”
That idea put a fire in Pheniks’ eye, and I bit the inside of my lip.
I truly hoped that Nyco’s proposed scenario didn’t play out. Dealing with the aftermath of a meeting like that might be troublesome.
I couldn’t show my reservation, though.
“Damn. Wouldn’t that be cool, Phen?” I asked.
“Yes,” he said before scrambling for the tube. “Let’s go!”
Chuckling, Nyco followed him, and I climbed in after he’d gotten settled. Once everyone was in place, we plunged into the dark again, and I resumed my book’s narration. A few more hours and I’d be standing in Zoln, a place I’d never seen before.
So far, this trip wasn’t helping me like I’d hoped it would. I’d slipped at least three times since arriving in Ibis, although one of those instances had been deliberate. I’d like to blame their increased appearances on where I was: House Vaessa’s stomping grounds, but I didn’t know if that was the real reason for my mistakes. Either way, I was leaving it to enter Ostiu, new and fresh territory.
Would it be the answer to my problem?
***[TTS Chapter Four](https://hischosenfuture.com/attachments/52)***
# Chapter 5: A Distraction
Ostiu was fucking cold. I’d known this from multiple people’s warnings on the subject, but there was a difference between knowing something and experiencing it for oneself.
I rather liked it. It brought a sharp clarity to thought, heightening every sense so long as one wasn’t exposed to it for too long. When Nyco had offered us thermal protection on our arrival, I’d accepted it, but I had yet to don it whereas Pheniks had immediately let its viscous material creep over his body.
To that point, he’d been quietly cursing the cold, which I’d found amusing. He’d stepped into a nation that he’d longed to visit for years and on arriving, had gotten smacked with one of his least favorite things.
He seemed happy now, but that was probably because we were inside. Or maybe it was because of Nyco’s current discussion topic. I couldn’t tell.
“We store data on the Ostium population’s genetic trends here,” Nyco said. “Before submitting a proposal, anyone who wants to change our testing methods spends days poring over these archives to ensure that their suggestion will be both viable and helpful toward our long-term goal.”
“Reliable production of *iisen?”* Pheniks asked.
“Indeed,” Nyco said. “Feena said you were the most scientifically minded of your family. I can see that she was right.”
With a beaming smile in place, Pheniks looked overly eager right now, flicking his feverish eyes over our surroundings. He was bouncing on the balls of his feet, and I took a moment to make sure he hadn’t tipped into one of his manic episodes before returning to an inspection of the storecase stacks in front of us.
They looked much like the stacks back home: waist-high blocks with clear exteriors, all spread across a glass-walled room. Inside of them rested memory drives, which held the stacks’ data, as well as cables that wrapped through every storecase, linking their many parts. These cables served as both a coolant conductor and the means by which data was transferred throughout the building.
Stations were scattered throughout the room, each with their monitors and connectors to verify a potential user’s identity. Several people had these attached to them. They'd pasted the pads on the ends of the connectors to either side of their necks.
Individuals were also tending to the storecases themselves, kneeling or bending over opened blocks. I pointed to one of them, a rather pretty woman with a slight build and indigo hair.
“Who are they?” I asked.
Nyco paused in his explanation of how his House manipulated a nation’s genetic path, glancing where indicated.
“Oh, those are technicians. House members of Eighth Stratus or below,” he said. “They operate shuttles during emergencies and maintain any places that we don’t let the Ostiums come near. It’s a generally thankless position that’s nonetheless essential here.”
“Hmm,” I distractedly mumbled.
Pheniks drew Nyco back to the subject of House Zan’s experimentation, but cocking my head, I watched the technicians as they worked.
If I was ever sent here on a deep-cover mission, I’d most likely occupy this role, so I analyzed how these people behaved: their deference to the higher Strata around them and their quiet dedication to their job. It was easy enough to split my attention between observing them and making a list of the room’s possible breach points.
As I was doing this, a set of hazel eyes, almost leeched of color, caught mine, and I paused in my examination. With plain brown hair and average features, the man staring at me was entirely forgettable, but then, he smiled, a tiny twitch of brightly colored lips, and my heart lurched. Internally flinching, I dragged my gaze away, desperate to find another point of interest.
What. the. fuck? I’d had many partners over the years, so I knew exactly what that twinge had been, but I hadn’t felt it since… my ninth lesson rotation, when I’d been annoyingly infatuated with a girl in my class.
Something similar had *never,* however, happened with a complete stranger. I must have found something about that man attractive, although I had no clue what it could be, and I didn’t like it when my brain acted irrationally.
Time to focus on something else.
“-bloodsong?” Pheniks was asking when I returned to the conversation.
Oh, hell. Here we go.
Shifting in place, Nyco shrugged.
“We don’t know how it works,” he said. “It’s not like the Collective, where we’ve had millennia to study it. We didn’t know the bloodsong existed until the Upheaval a few centuries ago. Since then, all efforts in Ostiu have gone to making more *iisen* and figuring out why the Upheaval created the first one, not on how they use their magic.”
“Can’t you just ask the *iisen-?”* Pheniks started.
Slapping my hand on my brother’s shoulder, I squeezed it.
“Let’s not offend our host,” I said through gritted teeth.
The mystery of the bloodsong was a sore spot for House Zan members, to the point that the topic had become taboo back home.
“No, it’s fine! I like that he’s curious. It’s a great trait to have,” Nyco said with a smile. “I’ll send you a few reports on the subject, Pheniks, but I’m afraid that the bloodsong just isn’t my area of expertise. Besides, we can’t talk about it now. We should find you somewhere to sleep! It’s getting pretty late, no?”
Humming to himself, he started for a lift to the surface, and as I followed him, I could swear someone’s stare was burning into my back.
Nyco found us quarters—a simple room that I’d share with Pheniks—soon enough. While my brother prepared for bed in the washroom, I lounged on top of the sheets, considering what I’d do this evening.
I’d like someone’s company tonight—that incessant need for a stranger’s touch coming to plague me once again—and for a moment, I let myself think about finding one of the technicians from earlier so we could get to know each other better. I was aware, however, that that wouldn’t happen. For the time being, sleep was more important.
Once Pheniks and I were settled in bed, I had my array start a dream sequence, knowing I wouldn’t otherwise sleep, but with its help, I didn’t once wake up throughout the night.
In the morning, Nyco took us into Zoln. Before we could leave House Zan’s headquarters, he warned us that the Ostiums were given more liberties than other children of Ibis, all part of an ongoing experiment. Because of this, he said that they might treat us rudely while we were in the city, and boy was he right.
As I trailed behind Nyco and my brother, our guide explained why Zoln had been built on such steep inclines, but I couldn’t listen to him, couldn’t relax. While we’d been walking down the city’s paths, so many hateful glares had been flung at us that I’d started wondering if we shouldn’t return to headquarters.
Pheniks and Nyco didn’t seem concerned about the swirl of loathing that we were plunging through, and I was curious if they thought the kill command, set in each Ostium’s tracker, would keep them from attacking us or if my companions were just oblivious.
Despite my constant state of vigilance, I had to admit that Zoln was ridiculously beautiful. The mountains soaring above us and the wonderfully foreign architecture on all sides bombarded my detachment, nudging me to let my awe spread, but even still, I resisted it, which I considered progress.
Except for the strangeness with that technician yesterday, I hadn’t slipped up once since arriving here. Perhaps this trip *was* what I’d needed.
Ahead of me, Nyco jostled a female Ostium who’d failed to get out of his way. The basket propped on its hip tilted, letting wrapped balls of wool spill out of their wicker container. A few of them rolled into the creek flowing beside our path, and without thought, I leapt in after them.
FUCK, that was cold. I didn’t know why I’d decided to *jump into freezing water,* but I was committed now.
With forceful strokes, I pushed through the creek’s moderate current to gather what had been dropped. Once finished, I swung toward shore, eventually sloshing onto it several meters from where I’d started, and while striding back, I gathered other errant balls of wool, always careful to keep the dry balls separate from the sodden ones.
As I approached, the female Ostium looked like it would bolt, warily eyeing me, and I extended my retrieved items to it, grateful that I’d insisted on the translator insertion procedure as I did.
*“My apologies for my companions,”* I said. *“They’re…”*
I paused, seeking the right words to describe them, before shrugging.
*“They’re them.”*
The Ostium continued staring at me with something absent in its gaze, and sighing, I piled its wool into its basket.
Dipping my head to it, I said, *“Again, please forgive the interruption.”*
And I thought that was the end of this strange encounter, but once I’d taken two steps after Pheniks and Nyco’s disappearing forms, the Ostium spoke up.
*“Why would you help this thrall?”*
Glancing back at it, I said, *“I don’t know.”*
As I hurried to catch up, shivering from the cold, I wondered what I could have been thinking. Why go out of my way to help a child of Ibis? It wasn’t my place.
Maybe I hadn’t wanted Nyco’s careless behavior to create more hostility toward us. That must be it. What else could have prompted something so out of character for me?
When I reached them, Pheniks scanned my soaked state with a raised eyebrow.
“Decide to go for a swim?” he asked.
With my teeth chattering, I stuttered, “I was helping the Ostium that Nyco nearly bowled over.”
Nyco looked over his shoulder with a frown.
“Why? Disturbing one variable like that wouldn’t upset the overall experiment.”
Except I’d never considered these people to be variables or objects. I’d never considered them as *anything,* actually. They were just people, living on another landmass. Why should they be anything more?
“Didn’t want increased aggression causing an attack,” I said. “Trackers and kill commands will only curb the Ostiums’ anger for so long.”
Pheniks and Nyco exchanged a glance.
“House Kolb brain,” my brother said.
“I suppose it doesn’t matter. If you haven’t already done it, put on your thermal protection, and we’ll visit my favorite tea shop to get you warm,” Nyco said. “You can’t visit Ostiu without tasting its tea!”
When he started off, I did as he’d suggested. As I let viscous gel slip over my skin, drying me as it went, I wondered how Feena was doing. She should have found the *ii* by now. Had she successfully captured it, towing it to Zoln while her brothers trotted in her friend’s wake?
Or had she killed it? That result might be less optimal than a live capture, but it would be infinitely better than… than…
Feena would be fine.
The door to the tea shop jingled as we entered, and my array automatically corrected for the place’s excessively dim interior. After assessing that no threats were waiting for us here, I overrode that modification, intent on having an authentic experience, and as a result, the room dropped into near gloom.
Cramped, the shop had two, small tables shoved against a wall while a counter separated them from a wood-burning stove and a host of ceramic teapots. Candles were perched in alcoves up and down the plaster walls, giving the shop a romantic feel.
An Ostium child, a male, was sitting behind the counter, and as we came inside, it straightened from its slump across the counter's wood. Such wide eyes accompanied its gasp while rigidness seized it, but then, it was off its stool and shooting around the counter.
*“Honored guests,”* it said, *“how can I help you?”*
Chuckling, Nyco said, *“It’s ok, Li. These gentlemen are friends of mine, not business associates. Is your mother home?”*
Relaxing, the boy straightened.
*“Yeah, she’s here,”* it said. *“I’ll get her for you, Nyc.”*
Rushing to open a door that the shadows had hidden, it raced up the stairs on the other side, and I circled around the shop, trailing my fingers along its many surfaces.
“You let it treat you with such familiarity?” Pheniks asked.
“Sometimes, ingratiating oneself with one’s test subjects can lead to informative results, Pheniks,” Nyco said. “I find it interesting to learn how long it takes them to trust me. Plus, making friends with the people who make one’s tea is always a good idea.”
“I see,” Pheniks said. “You have an… enlightened approach to the scientific process.”
Having half-listened to them, I wandered behind the shop’s counter to inspect the proprietor’s equipment. All of it was beyond primitive, but besides obligatory soot stains, this workspace looked immaculately cleaned and well-cared-for. Whoever owned this place must take great pride in their work.
“You know,” I drawled, still focused on my examination, “based on the experimentation methods you’ve proposed, I’d think you have extensive House Kolb training. Everything you suggested is a basic infiltration technique as well. It’s interesting to hear those skills applied in another context.”
Pheniks and Nyco fell silent, which had been my goal. I doubted any Ostiums in this place knew our tongue—given how little we shared of it, it was rare for a child of Ibis to learn it—but on the off chance that one did, I didn’t want my companions spouting potentially offensive drivel when our host arrived.
It did so almost as soon as I'd finished speaking, which was good timing on both our parts. Hopefully, this quick shift in focus would erase any indignation I might have spawned in Nyco.
The woman—Li’s mother, presumably—read the room well. It didn’t affect the same familiarity as its son, bowing to each of us in turn instead.
*“Have you brought me more thirsty tongues, honored guest Nyco?”* it asked.
Shaking himself, Nyco said, *“Yes, I have. Three of my usual, quick as you can, and I’ll double your normal rations payment.”*
With a quick bob to him, the woman said, *“Of course.”*
It seemed a little disconcerted to find me in its workspace, but I quickly shuffled around it, and as it stoked a fire in the stove, I headed for the table that Nyco and Pheniks had claimed. Sliding into a chair beside my brother, I noted Nyco’s set jaw and silently sighed.
“Please forgive me for my thoughtless words,” I said. “I didn’t mean to insult you. As Phen said, I fall into House Kolb’s mindset more often than I should, and it makes me careless with social niceties. If it helps, I find your methods refreshing, especially when compared to everything else I learned during my rotations with House Zan.”
After a moment where he refused to meet my eyes, Nyco visibly released a held breath before turning to me.
“Our lessons to unHoused children are made intentionally dull to weed out those who are unsuited for our field,” he said. “From what I understand, though, you did quite well when studying with my House.”
Rolling his eyes, Pheniks said, “He did well in *all* of his studies, the lucky bastard.”
“It’s not my fault that I find each of the Houses’ specialties interesting,” I said. “It’s also not my fault that you’ve breezed through your rotations because of your above-average marks with Cerullis and Zan while I had to work my ass off for what I received.”
“And yet, you got above-average marks from every House by the end,” Pheniks said.
“Again, because I worked my ass off.”
I truly had. Somewhere in my array, I had a record of how many times I’d used an adrenaline burst to stay awake so I could study. I couldn’t say what the exact number was off the top of my head, but I knew it was somewhere in the triple digits, something that would horrify my parents if they ever found out about it.
It wasn’t that I’d had a hard time with learning what my instructors had taught me and more that I hadn’t had enough time for everything. I could usually retain new knowledge after a couple repeats of it as well as a practical application, but absorbing everything that the six Houses had to offer during rotations was… a lot.
And my poor social life. Besides my rendezvous partners, I hadn’t had a friend since I’d been…
Since I’d been six, actually. When I’d crafted my persona.
I supposed, in a way, that my studies had helped me with keeping my distance from people. The only reason that my family was so close to me was because of our forced proximity and because…
Well. They were my family. No matter how much I kept myself separate from other people, they would always have a hold on me, as I would on them.
“All of the Houses appreciate a good work ethic, so the fact that you have one should help with your placement,” Nyco said. “Your House naming’s coming up soon, right?”
“In a few weeks,” I said.
“Have you given any thought to your decision yet?” Nyco said.
Fortunately, the shop’s owner brought our tea to us at that moment, giving me time to consider my response. What Nyco had said came close to scandalous. No one asked an unHoused what they’d say on the day of their House naming ceremony. One of us might volunteer that information, if we wanted to, but requesting it was seen as a pathway to recruitment, pressuring a potential House member into a decision they wouldn’t originally have made.
But as I took a sip of my tea, watching Nyco over its rim, I got the feeling that he hadn’t posed his question as a feeler for Zan. He was trying to give an offense equal to the one I’d imparted, evening the scales between us. I approved of the tactic, even as I prepared to destroy it.
Resting my mug on the tabletop, I spun it between my hands, fixing my gaze on it.
“Of course I’ve given it thought.”
Those thoughts might have come years ago, but I had considered it.
“It’s a difficult decision, one that will define your life,” I said. “I’m inclined to choose Kolb, as it’s my family’s House, but I’ve enjoyed my rotations with the others as well. How does one choose a different House, though, when it will come before your family for the rest of your life?”
By refusing to take offense and confessing supposed insecurities, I’d keep Nyco off-balance, forcing him to take an advisory role. As he hastily sipped his tea, I joined him in that, and catching Pheniks’ wide-eyed stare, I winked. Snorting, my brother dove for his mug to hide his laughter.
While I waited for Nyco to recover, I let my drink warm me. This tea was bitter but flavorful, a strange combination of tastes, but my tongue seemed to like it. Why else would I keep going back for another sip?
“Choosing a House unassociated with your family is possible,” Nyco eventually said. “I did it.”
Pheniks and I jerked back, snapping our attention to him, and at our incredulous stares, he nodded.
“My family’s split between Kirst and Drav, which isn’t too unusual given their overlap,” he said, “but I don’t do well with children.”
He grimaced as he said that last word.
“And children play a large part in those Houses’ assumed responsibilities, so I looked elsewhere at my House naming. In the end, though, my drift to another House has worked out fine. My family acts the same as we did before. The single change I’ve seen is that we no longer discuss House business when we’re gathered, but really, isn’t that how it should be? The two kept separate?”
I’d never considered a division like that. House business, when it wasn’t too high Strata for the people in the room, was an openly discussed subject in our household. I didn’t know what to think about keeping another part of my life secret from my family, even if it was something that everyone agreed should stay that way. Doing so with one part of me was difficult enough.
Pheniks, however, seemed to find the idea fascinating. He was watching Nyco with a gleam in his eyes while shocked relief pulled on his mouth and eyebrows.
Hmm. I hadn’t seen such an intense reaction from him in a while. Could I use something from-?
No. Fuck no. Pheniks was my little brother, and yes, I’d cut myself off from my emotions. Yes, I played a role around him and everyone else, but I *would not* manipulate him. Finding what meager bits of freedom that I could in House Kolb wasn’t worth distancing my brother over.
“I’ll keep your story in mind,” I told Nyco, meaning to change the subject.
He, however, lifted a finger, scrunching up his face. His eyes bounced back and forth while he flicked his finger, as if scrolling. After a moment, color drained from him, and he snatched the edge of the table to keep from falling.
‘Feena,’ he mouthed, probably meaning for it to go unnoticed.
I saw it, though, carefully lowering my mug to the table as I did.
“Problem?” I asked.
Shaking his head, Nyco leaned on his elbows before rubbing his temples.
“A project I’m in charge of just went off the rails,” he said. “I’m sorry to cut your tour short, but I have to handle this problem before it gets worse.”
Pheniks was already on his feet.
“Of course!” he said. “We wouldn’t want to interfere with your work.”
When Nyco looked at me, I fixed a pleasant smile in place.
“No. We wouldn’t want that.”
After Nyco had given the shop’s owner its owed rations, he hurried onto the street, taking Pheniks with him, but I lingered for a moment.
Bowing to the Ostium woman, I said, *“Thank you. Nyco made a good suggestion, coming here. Your tea was delicious.”*
And I was off, racing after my companions. The progress we’d made through the city reversed in a flash, and soon enough, Nyco was escorting us through House Zan’s headquarters to the room where we’d slept. While we hurried down its halls, I took note of the number of people in each corridor and the placement of recorders while occasionally bouncing my gaze off the back of our guide’s head.
He was keeping something from us, something about our sister. Was she hurt? Had the *ii* killed her, and if it had, were we meant to serve as unspoken hostages for House Zan with our status as visitors rescinded?
I couldn’t consider any other consequences that might come from Feena’s… death. If I did, I wasn’t sure what would happen, but I knew that I wouldn’t be prepared to help either of my siblings over the next few hours.
Once we were in our quarters, Nyco paused.
“Remember to stay here until I come for you,” he said. “The high Strata don’t take kindly to unHoused kids, especially one so close to his House naming, wandering around our most sensitive data unsupervised.”
He gave me a sharp glance.
“We’re not going anywhere,” Pheniks promised.
With Nyco’s glare yet to relent, I inclined my head to him, and he must have taken that as assent, given how fast he bolted into the hallway after receiving it.
In no way shape or form had that been a sign of agreement. If Feena was in trouble, I wasn’t staying here, and damn anyone who tried to keep me away from my sister.
***[TTS Chapter Five](https://hischosenfuture.com/attachments/53)***
# Chapter 6: This Is Where It Gets Interesting 1
As soon as the door had slid closed, I dove into my array, requesting Feena’s location. She’d last been reported in the mountains to the west of us, close to where the Upheaval’s origin lay. I chose to believe that her proximity to that tech-disrupting phenomenon was why she wouldn’t answer my requests for connection rather than… rather than something worse.
I had a destination. Now, I needed transport.
And a way out of Zan’s headquarters.
And anonymity while doing all of this.
Hell. Maybe I should wait. Nyco might help us, and who knew? Feena might not be in trouble. This might be me overreacting to a warning sign that I only thought I’d seen.
But no. That was fear speaking. If I listened closely, I could hear my instincts shouting denial at it.
Which meant I’d unexpectedly found myself on my first mission. Fear, panic, and all other emotions had no place here. So, how did I get what I needed?
Taking a deep breath, I said, “I’m going out for a bit. I need you to cover for me if anyone comes looking here. Say I’m in the washroom.”
“What?” Pheniks said. “Did you not hear what Nyco said? We can’t leave-”
Spinning in place, I stormed to my brother, taking hold of his shoulders.
“Feena’s in trouble,” I said. “Of the two of us, I’m better suited to help her, and you know it. I need you to stay here and *cover my ass* while I go save our sister. Can you do that?”
Leaning away from me, Pheniks kept swallowing as if trying to speak, but he soon gave up, nodding instead.
“Good,” I said, releasing him. “I don’t know how long I’ll be gone so…”
With a sigh, I ruffled his hair while making a mental map of everything I’d observed in Zan’s headquarters since reaching it, and as I did, the result appeared in my array, piece by piece. Before I could leave, Pheniks stopped me.
“Be careful, Zae. Remember, you have to keep your promise of no pranks for a month. I-”
Flushing, he looked to the side.
“I love you,” he mumbled.
Warmth sprang unbidden in me, and I clamped down on it, even as I kept its spawned smile in place.
“Love you too,” I said. “Don’t worry. Soon enough, I’ll be playing pranks on you again.”
Pheniks either sputtered or turned into an even more uncomfortable mess after that, but I didn’t stick around to find out which.
Once I was through the door, I didn’t check whether anyone was in the corridor with me. I strode down it with my head held high and my thumbs in my pockets, projecting an air of belonging as best I could.
It seemed to work. No one looked twice at me as I headed for a lift with access to the stacks, avoiding recorders as I went.
In my array, I was using what little process cracking I’d learned to get one of them ready for a short shutdown. I did a sloppy job of it, yes, but I didn’t need my work to be untraceable, only to fulfill its purpose.
When I reached the cross-section that led to my first goal, I paused, playing with the air like I was reading a message when in reality, I was watching the hallway beyond from the view of my target recorder. I by no means controlled the thing, but everyone knew how to slip through the security processes that guarded what a recorder saw. It was knowledge an eight-year-old should have, whereas everything else I’d done had required all of the process cracking I knew.
Mother Time, I should put more effort into learning that skill.
Once the hallway was empty, I turned onto it, playing the role of an unassuming House Zan member until I was several paces from the lift. Then, I activated the changes I’d made to the recorder’s processes, which had my secondary view of the hall going dark, and sprinting, I dove into the lift a split second before the recorder resumed its work.
The lift had grabbed me at an awkward angle, which made getting out of it difficult, but once I had, I took a calming breath, checking if my array had caught any alarms that I might have missed. I noted that none had been triggered with satisfaction, completing the first part of this endeavor.
Of course, everything after this only got more difficult, but that was ok. I could handle it.
As I wandered through House Zan’s stacks, I affected the same aura of belonging as I had above, keeping an eye out for what I needed. Thank Mother Time, an opportunity presented itself before five minutes had passed.
A technician far ahead of me separated from a group of his fellows, sharing cheery farewells with them. He headed toward where House members stored their belongings while working, a place that should be empty at mid-morning.
Had the technician and his friends stayed later than the end of a typical night shift today? Why? And… why did I care?
I followed the technician at a distance, moving further from the stacks with every step, until he went through a door. Once I was beside it, I paused.
I hoped I could get this man to cooperate with me sans violence, but if I couldn’t, was I willing to hurt another person?
If I was to be part of House Kolb, I’d have to learn how to do it eventually. Exercises of morality had no place on a mission, right?
But to this point, I’d never had to harm someone, and I must admit. I was curious if I could.
At the moment, though, my ability or lack thereof didn’t matter. I was going through that door either way because that was what Feena needed me to do.
When it slid to the side, I stepped into a small room, lined with lockboxes, while benches filled the middle of it. For a moment, I thought it was empty—somehow—but a flicker of movement turned me to the corner closest to me, all while I berated myself for not checking it after coming inside.
The technician was standing by the line of lockboxes closest to the door, and on seeing him, my mouth went dry. It was the man from yesterday, the one who’d been popping into my thoughts on-and-off since then.
And he wasn’t wearing a shirt.
Squeaking, I backpedaled to the door. I couldn’t do this, not with him. I needed another target. Finding one should be easy, right?
“Can I help you?”
Fuck. He was looking over his shoulder at me, which meant he’d probably seen my flustered state. Why the hell was I flustered?
Ok. Calm down. Go through this one step at a time.
Swallowing, I said, “Sorry. I didn’t mean to intrude.”
That twitching smile from yesterday made another appearance, but fortunately, nothing stirred in my chest on seeing it this time.
“It’s a public changing room. You can intrude all you like,” he said before reaching for his shirt. ‘Do you want privacy? I’m almost done here.”
“No, no!” I said, scratching my head. “I was actually hoping you could help me.”
The technician cocked his head while his face wrinkled.
“How’s that?”
Here was hoping my story sold.
“I’ve come to the stacks to make my final run for the day,” I said, “but halfway through that, I realized that I’d forgotten an inspection, one I’ll need a technician to help me complete. Lo and behold, as I’m panicking about that, I spotted you. I was hoping you’d join me.”
Expression dropped from the technician’s face, leaving a small frown as his only indication of displeasure.
“I'm about to go home,” he said.
“I know! I know, and I’m sorry to ask this of you,” I said, “but it’s a quick inspection, and if you help me, I’ll owe you a favor.”
This, the only form of currency that my people exchanged, was a huge offer on my part. Favors, even loose ones like this, weren’t lightly given, which could be seen by the sudden gleam in the technician’s eyes.
“What sort of inspection?” he asked.
“It’s on the emergency shuttles,” I said. “Not all of them, of course. Just enough to fill my quota.”
As he considered my proposal, the technician drummed his fingers on his thigh, and I split my focus between hoping that he’d buy my tall tale and keeping my eyes off of his exposed skin.
“Ok,” he eventually said. “Give me a second.”
He finished changing while I surreptitiously watched, cheering in my head. Part two was complete, although I should probably hurry up with the rest. Who knew when someone would spot my crude process cracking from earlier?
Once he was ready, the technician inclined his head toward the door, and we left the changing room. As we walked, I offered him my hand.
“I’m Traze, Fifth Stratus,” I said.
Shaking my hand, the technician said, “Garreth, Tenth Stratus. You’re acting pretty inexperienced for someone in such a high position.”
While rubbing the back of my neck, I had my array force blood into my cheeks.
“I did well in my placement exam is all,” I said. “It doesn’t mean I deserve my Stratus, as evidenced by how I forgot to do a damn inspection.”
“We’ve all been there, Traze. Don’t worry so much about it,” Garreth said, chuckling. “Shall we?”
He waved to a nearby lift, and I laughed.
“Please, you go first, otherwise you might be waiting here for a while,” I said. “I have to take lifts slowly, or I make a mess.”
I rubbed my stomach.
“At least if you go ahead of me, the ride up will eat part of that waiting time”
Garreth’s lips twitched again, although I wasn’t sure if he was showing me a friendly smile this time or laughing at me. Not that it mattered.
“All right, then,” he said.
As he input a floor destination, I kept a careful watch on him, and once he’d disappeared through the ceiling, I followed at a slower pace, looking for him on each landing that I passed. I didn’t think he’d have put the wrong floor into the control earlier, and I was certain that he hadn’t pierced through my disguise, but it never hurt to be cautious.
When I stepped out of the lift, I stumbled to a wall, raising a finger as I leaned on it.
“Give me… a moment,” I gasped.
After an appropriate amount of time, I straightened, wincing.
“Sorry about that.”
“No problem. Everyone’s got their thing,” Garreth said. “You can’t handle lifts. I can’t stand heights. See?”
I weakly smiled in response, which he returned with more enthusiasm.
“Let me grab some tools,” he said. “I’ll meet you in the hangar.”
I… didn’t want to split up, but I had no feasible excuse to keep Garreth with me.
So, I said, “Ok.”
We parted ways, and I went through the only door that could lead to a hangar. Mother Time, had they made it wide enough? What sort of disaster had Zan thought would require so much clearance for its members to flee through?
I half-expected to find a group of high Strata waiting on the other side of the door, ready to take me to their *shukusen,* but the hangar was empty of everything but shuttles. Hugging my elbows, I glanced over them.
What would best serve my purpose? Most were open to the air, bulky craft, only used for House business or emergencies. One or two sleeker craft were resting at the end of the line, but no matter how much their crisp lines and smaller size might appeal to me, I needed something that wouldn’t draw attention.
When Garreth eventually joined me, I was in the transport that I wanted to take, playacting that I was running through its processes. Standing beside the console near the front, I forewent the fold-down seats bolted into the transport’s sides. The longer I could keep from strapping into one of those uncomfortable monstrosities, the better.
Garreth climbed inside, plopping a tool bag beside the console.
“So, how many of these do we need to inspect?” he asked.
Internally, I was cringing because this next part wasn’t something I’d enjoy. Garreth seemed nice. I didn’t want to disrupt his life, but this was a mission. My wants and his well-being didn’t matter.
“I need you to fly me into the mountains to the west of Zoln,” I said.
Crouching at my side, Garreth froze, lifting his eyes to me through his hair.
“Fly you…?” he said. “What do you mean?”
“What I said,” I snapped. “Put the tools down, get this transport into the air, and fly us to the coordinates I’ll give you.”
Garreth’s face darkened as he frowned.
“Who are you, really?”
Dammit, I’d known this would eventually come, but hell, if I hadn’t naively hoped that I wouldn’t have to activate the request that I had waiting in my array. My rifle materialized in Garreth’s face, and he stopped breathing.
“Do as I say, or I will blow holes in both of your kneecaps before using your own electric tape to secure you to the console,” I growled. “I’ll keep poking holes through you until I get where I need to go.”
Wordlessly, Garreth raised his hands, and I backed off. Shuffling to the transport’s console, he input a few commands with me watching over his shoulder all the while.
“Coordinates?” he stiffly said.
I provided them, and within seconds, the hangar door opened, letting us rise into the air. Reaching Feena’s last known location would take about an hour, so I settled into a seat, indicating that Garreth should do the same.
For a while, he glared at me. His silent accusation only bounced off the wall that I’d raised between me and my emotions, and soon enough, he got tired of watching me stare right back at him.
What would I do with him once this was done? What was *I* going to do? I could be ruining my life by running off like this. If it became common knowledge that I’d stolen a transport and kidnapped someone to save my sister, none of the Houses would elevate me beyond Eleventh or Twelfth Stratus, the dregs of society.
As for Garreth, I couldn’t abandon him in the mountains or take any other steps to protect myself because those actions might kill him. Murder was- was *wrong,* in the deepest sense of the word. Death should be an individual’s choice, not something forced upon them. This was what the Collective had taught us: that no spark of a should leave the physical plane before it was ready.
“Why are you doing this?”
Stirring, I brought the task of monitoring Garreth to the forefront once more. He was looking at me with something like morbid fascination, and facing this, I shrugged.
“What makes you think I’d answer you?” I said.
“Because an identity check on you reveals nothing, and you certainly won’t share identifying details about yourself with me. I can’t hurt you if I don’t know who you are, right?” Garreth said. “Plus, you’ve guaranteed that my next elevation won’t happen for a few more years. I might as well get something from this, even if it’s just a story. What harm could there be in sharing?”
He was right.
Fighting the urge to find something other than him to rest my eyes on, I said, “My sister. She’s in trouble. And she’s House Kolb, meaning no one in Ostiu would volunteer to help her if I asked. So…”
As I spread my arms, emotions flurried over Garreth’s face before settling into disgust.
“You’d choose family over House?” he asked.
“Who said I was doing that?” I shot back. “But if it came down to it, I don’t know which I’d choose. Ha!”
Despite my best efforts to contain it, my body shook with laughter, and Garreth eyed me like I’d turned into a deadly, wild animal.
“What’s so funny?” he asked.
“I doubt you’d understand, but like you said, there’s no harm in sharing,” I said. “This—”
I pointed at the shuttle’s floor.
“—is the first and only choice that I’ve made solely for myself, my only true taste of freedom. After this, I’ll be a slave to my House.”
Something shifted in Garreth with a new face peeking through.
“Is that how you see the House system? As slavery?” he asked with a dead voice.
My instincts screamed for me to tread carefully with my answer to this question. Still. I couldn’t lie here. No one else had come this close to seeing my deepest desire, and yes, I’d conceal it from him as best I could, but since he’d asked about it, I’d answer him as truthfully and cautiously as possible.
“I see the House system as necessary. How else could Lutov function as one civilization instead of endless, squabbling factions?” I said. “Its necessity doesn’t mean I have to like it, though. It doesn’t mean that I can’t wish for more. It doesn’t mean that I want to surrender my freedom.”
“I see,” Garreth said.
The strange face that I’d seen on him slipped back below the surface, and he turned away from me, soon slumping into sleep. I waited and watched and wished that pulling him out of his life hadn’t been necessary. Why hadn’t I gone looking for him last night before this craziness had started?
Squeezing my eyes closed, I leaned back in my seat, getting comfortable. We’d arrive to our destination soon, and I needed to be prepared for whatever we might find.
***[TTS Chapter Six](https://hischosenfuture.com/attachments/54)***
# Chapter 7: This Is Where It Gets Interesting 2
Eventually, an alert chimed from the console while our speed slowed to a stop, and tapping into the feeds of the transport’s recorders, I lifted my hand, projecting what they’d captured above it.
Craggy mountain peaks and an abundance of pine trees lay below us. I saw nothing else, so I had the recorders zoom to the exact position of Feena’s last known location. In a cleft, scorch marks painted stone, and my chest tightened at the proof that my sister had been there.
She wasn’t here now, though. Biting my lip, I had my array scan for any nearby tech use, and for the longest five seconds of my life, it returned nothing to me. Then, I got a result.
Nudging Garreth, I waited for him to wake up before giving him more coordinates.
“Set us down here.”
Once we were on the ground, I moved to usher Garreth along at gunpoint, but he jumped out of the shuttle without any prompting on my part. We hurried along together, although I never let my rifle dissipate.
Not until we came upon the rockslide, at least.
“No,” I moaned. “No, no, no!”
And it didn’t matter that I was on a mission. It didn’t matter that the man I’d kidnapped was standing beside me. This was where my sister should be. She should-
“She should-”
Mother Time, what would I do? What would I tell Pheniks and our parents?
I was only half-aware of sprinting down the slope to a pile of boulders, only half-aware of circling them. A buzz had drowned out my thoughts, soon to become a screaming wail, but the single sound capable of dragging me out of this mire cracked against my ears: the zap of a rifle’s bolt.
At first, I thought Garreth had somehow taken advantage of my deplorable slip of emotions, although I wasn’t sure how he’d have access to a rifle. Only House Kolb members and the unHoused could summon that weapon through their arrays, but then, the noise had come from in front of me, not behind.
I practically flew through the snow until I reached the sound’s source, and when I did, I dropped to my knees with relief and panic swirling into a confusing mix inside of me.
“Zae?” Feena panted. “What are you doing here?”
“Helping you! Obviously.”
Because she needed it. A boulder with cracks radiating across it, originating in a large scorch mark, had pinned her leg to the ground, but it was hours from crumbling. This mess had probably breached any thermal protection Feena might have been wearing, and if left here alone, she’d have succumbed to the elements long before shattering this rock. Lutovish bodies could only heal so much by themselves.
Feena smacked my knee.
“You idiot!” she shouted. “How much trouble will you be in when we get back? What will-?”
She went quiet, lifting her gaze over my head before pointing her rifle there too.
“Who’s this, little brother?” she hissed.
“Garreth, Tenth Stratus of House Zan,” I said.
She lowered her stare to me with horror in it.
“You didn’t,” she whispered.
“He did,” Garreth said, “but I can see that it was warranted. I’d like to help, if I can.”
Feena raised an eyebrow at me, and I shrugged. It was her choice whether to trust him. I’d already done my part.
“All right,” she said. “Start shooting at this thing. On the opposite side of me, please.”
She offered Garreth a pistol, which he took.
“Of course,” he said.
He wandered off, and once he’d disappeared, I rounded on my sister.
“Did you get it?” I asked.
Furrowing her brow, Feena asked, “Get what?”
I rolled my eyes.
“The *ii.* The mage you were hunting,” I said. “What else could I mean?”
“Oh. No, the bitch got away,” Feena said. “Mother Time but my failure will reflect terribly on Kolb.”
Dammit, I’d been afraid that would be the case.
“No, it won’t,” I said. “Give me everything you have on it. I’ll finish the mission.”
“What?” Feena hissed. “No! You don’t have the skills you’ll need-”
Shushing her, I glanced toward Garreth’s location until I heard another zap coming from there.
“Feena, House comes before family. Everyone knows this,” I said. “I’ve already heaped a huge amount of trouble on Kolb by coming to help you. I won’t let a failed mission add to that.”
“But Kolb’s not your House!” Feena sputtered.
Winking at her, I displayed a cheeky grin.
“Not yet,” I said. “Now, give me the damn info, Sixth Stratus.”
My sister’s eyes were shining with such pride and fear, and I might have basked in the warmth of it if the mage’s trail hadn’t been going cold. I whirled a finger for her to hurry up, and with a laugh, she sent the report my way.
After a quick kiss on her forehead, I scrambled to my feet.
“Which way did it go?” I asked.
Feena pointed, and after a glance at the boulder, I started running that way.
I didn’t like leaving my sister with Garreth, not when I didn’t fully trust him, but he wouldn’t leave my sister here. No House member, besides the ones who belonged to Kolb, had the stomach for killing when directly forced to confront it, which abandoning Feena would be.
Lucky them.
As I tracked the *ii,* my array was of enormous help. It detected any microscopic divots in the snow that the mage might have left as well as other environmental changes, calculating my target’s probable path from these signs, but most importantly, it traced the leftovers of magic use for me.
The *ii* was moving toward the mountain’s peak, and the higher I climbed, the thicker the snowdrifts grew around me while I got lightheaded from a lack of oxygen. Since the mage claimed Earthshaker, Vimian, Magsense, and Somadept magic, its flight up the mountain made sense. With the ability to manipulate both its body and its internal energy, it would fare better at higher altitudes than someone who lacked such skills. That plus its enhanced sight and hearing would make it a difficult target to catch.
Why had *shukusen* Talira given such a dangerous hunt to my Sixth Stratus sister?
Fortunately for me, I caught up with the mage before nausea from my high altitude could have my guts roiling.
*“Why won’t you leave me alone?”* it cried. *“I’ve done nothing to you.”*
It shouldn’t have spoken up like that. Given the cue, my array pinpointed its probable location, and with my rifle in my hand, I crept toward the cliff it was crouching on, hoping to get a shot on it before a fight could start.
*“You almost killed my sister,”* I said.
As soon as the words had left my mouth, I was racing away from the spot, wincing when I noted how the trees were dwindling ahead of me. I was wary of crossing a stretch of snow without cover, especially with a Magsense watching for me.
*“She tried to kill me first,”* the *ii* shouted. *“And why would she do such a thing in the first place? Because the demons in Zoln told her to?”*
Demons?
Frowning, I scanned the shelf in front of me, a surprisingly flat portion of the mountain that a steep cliff was cradling. With a cliff face partially obscuring it, I could barely make out the mage’s location on the other side of the shelf.
Still, I could maybe make the shot without exposing myself. It was worth a try.
Raising my rifle, I sighted down it, moving my finger to the trigger.
*“Don’t do it, boy. I’d rather not fight you,”* the *ii* said. *“You’re what? Twenty-two? Twenty-three? That’s barely matured for your people, and I don’t like hurting young ones.”*
For a moment, I hesitated. Why was I hunting this mage? For House Kolb? Didn’t I want to be free of the Houses? Why was I doing their bidding before I’d even chosen one?
I could slip away now, heading toward the Upheaval’s origin point. The Houses would never find me there, considering how often they lost *iisen* to that part of Ostiu. I’d be free.
But alone. The way I was now, I was distant from everyone in my life, but they were with me. If I ran from the Houses, I’d never see my family again. No more mom and dad. No more Pheniks. No more Feena. I’d never have another partner in my life.
And that was unacceptable.
*“I don’t have a choice,”* I said.
I squeezed the trigger, sending a bolt of light flying toward where the *ii* was hiding, and my array informed me of movement.
Shit.
I started running while stone streaked through the air behind me. The mage stayed where it was, content to keep the high ground, which was smart for many reasons. Not only was the spot more defensible, but the *ii* knew I couldn’t come near it while it stayed there. If I did, it would use its Somadept magic to stop my heart or deaden the neurons in my brain.
Still, I abandoned the tress, needing a better angle.
A wall of stone rose in front of me, and I barely made the leap to stand on top of it before it blocked me off. As I left the ground behind, I released one, two, three shots—barely staying balanced from my rifle’s recoil—before sprinting along the wall. I jumped behind it when earth spikes started flying for me.
Maybe I could trick the mage into giving me a lift into the trees. If I were in the forest’s canopy, the danger of its Earthshaker magic would be lessened, and a gain of height would put me on the same level as it.
The wall behind me collapsed, and I got off another two shots before the air was clear of dust and puffing snow.
No, that plan would never work. The mage’s control on the earth was too strong-
Something tugged on my calf, making an alert go off in my array. Whatever had just passed through my leg, it had made a hole in its muscle, clipping a tendon. Fuck.
While my body began repairs, I stumbled toward a cliff face, although the pain raking up my leg slowed me down. I had to get out of sight and give myself time. Racing toward an abundance of the weapon that my enemy favored raised screeching alarms in my head, but I needed-
Unbelievable pressure built in my chest as my heart shuddered to a stop, and my array shrieked of partial brain stem failure. Somadept magic.
Panicking, I reflexively pressed my fingers to my neck while retreating, begging for a pulse to leap beneath my touch.
And it did. Why would my enemy relent before killing me?
That question didn’t stop me from backpedaling as fast as I could, of course, desperate to create distance between me and the mage. It must have moved. I couldn’t have been stupid enough to otherwise get in its range, right?
*“Please, give up!”* the *ii* shouted. *“I don’t want to do this.”*
Yup. It had moved.
Lifting my rifle, I sprayed bolts in the direction that the voice had come from and received a hissing scream as a reward. Someone tumbled off of the cliff with snow cushioning its fall, and as it stumbled to its feet, clutching its shoulder, I aimed for the kill.
And couldn’t take the shot. Why couldn’t I-?
A night sky of supernovas bloomed in my chest while crackling agony overrode my thoughts, but I couldn’t scream to ease it, couldn’t breathe. With difficulty, I read an alert, telling me of shredded lungs and a perforated gut, and an unreasoning urge to laugh rose when I glanced at my chest.
Dozens of stone studs had punched through my skin, and with trembling hands, I reached behind me, closing my fingers around rocky tubes. An interlocked grid of tiny, stone spears. The mage had riddled me with rock.
*“I’m so sorry,”* it sobbed. *“Please, it didn’t want…”*
It came into view, a beautiful woman with tears shimmering in its ethereally white eyes. My murderer.
Because I wouldn’t survive this. The damage wouldn’t kill me as quickly as it would for someone like this mage, not with my body fighting to fix itself. If I were to survive it, though, I’d need someone’s help, someone who might get me to a clinic or hospital before everything failed, but alone as I was, I would die. Gone to the Collective before my time.
The mage took another step forward, but to my *total* surprise, I felt no anger toward it. It had been the better fighter, and it… no. *She* had only wanted her freedom, the same as me.
Given that, she couldn’t stay here, not when a House Kolb member would soon come after her with a vengeance. If she wanted to achieve the goal that she’d worked so hard for, she needed to run.
Before I could try choking that out for her, someone sprayed snow over my body in their abrupt stop, which meant they’d been using House Kolb speed. Had to have been. Who-?
A shriek preceded the resumption of stone’s impossible flight through the air with the mage streaking away from us, but my rescuer, whoever they were, moved. Even as my brain struggled to keep me awake, I was aware enough to marvel at them. They dodged speeding pebbles and hopped over barriers before they’d started rising, and within five beats of my slowing heart, they’d taken hold of the *ii.* She was touching them, meaning her Viminan magic should be draining them of energy, but my rescuer appeared unaffected, quickly getting their hands in place to snap her neck.
She crumpled into the snow, which echoed a faint pang of loss in me, and they… no. With them standing still, I could tell that my rescuer was most likely a man.
He stood, unmoving, over the mage’s body for a moment before jerking upright with his gasp rattling the stillness. Spinning my way, he raced toward me with a corona of black steadily erasing him. He only overtook my slip into darkness as my vision shuttered to pinpricks, and I recognized him.
Garreth reached for me—
“I’ve got you, Zaeden.”
—and I was gone.
***[TTS Chapter Seven](https://hischosenfuture.com/attachments/55)***
# Chapter 8: Attracting Unwanted Attention
“-haven’t seen someone show such promise in ages, Talira. He’ll work well. Start the process.”
Why did that… voice sound-?
“We can discuss it after you get home.”
Oo, she was… tense… I-
“In the meantime, get my grandchildren to Zoln. Alive, please.”
“Yes, my *shukusen.”*
How did I… know-?
---
The acrid scent of sterilization rushed into my nose when I woke up.
When. I. woke up. I was alive. Holy shit. How?
“-asleep. I- I’m grateful we had help. If I can ever do something for you…”
Feena!
Slowly, I opened my eyes, wincing while my array adjusted my pupils to fight the ridiculous amount of light around me. A plain, tiled ceiling greeted me, and when I oh-so-carefully moved my head on my pillow, I saw IV lines running toward my arm and a mass-produced blanket covering my body.
I was lying in a hospital bed. How the hell had I reached a hospital before my body failed on me?
My sister was sitting on the bed beside mine, perfectly healthy. Alive.
I’d accomplished what I’d set out to do, and for now, I let relief take root. It seemed like a just reward for saving her.
A man was standing beside the bed, angled toward Feena with his arms crossed behind his back. His features looked a little off, smeared from the ones I remembered, but I recognized Garreth. He’d… saved my life, absolutely *annihilating* that *ii.*
The *ii…* Despite what she’d done to me, I… hadn’t wanted to see her dead. Strange.
With a mental headshake, I focused.
I’d never seen anything like what Garreth had done. Obviously, he wasn’t a Tenth Stratus of House Zan. Was he on a deep-cover mission here? If so, how badly had I fucked it up for him? Also, how the hell had I *happened* to kidnap a House Kolb member while he’d been using a Zan persona?
“Don’t offer me a favor, Sixth Stratus,” he told Feena. “You don’t know who I am, just that I found saving your brother’s life convenient.”
Feena’s face fell. I had no doubt that she wanted to clear the debt she owed this man, and if he wouldn’t accept a favor from her, she wasn’t sure how she could do that.
“He’s right, Feena dear. Don’t put yourself at the mercy of someone you barely know.”
Between my sister and ‘Garreth’, an image of Talira, my grandmother and House Kolb’s *shukusen,* was floating. From here, I couldn’t see much of her, only the back of her head, but I knew her stern features well.
“Let’s focus,” she said. “I’m glad to know that Zaeden’s stable, the reckless idiot, but that’s not why I requested this connection. Mission reports, please?”
Feena shifted on her bed, growing tense when Garreth nodded for her to start.
“I tracked my assigned target toward the Upheaval’s origin point, using information on newly scouted trails provided by a friend here,” she said. “It got me through a few difficult crossings more quickly than normal but I…”
Flushing, Feena ducked her head.
“I started relying on it and my array’s alerts more than my own sight, which was enormously stupid, I know.”
No wonder she was embarrassed. Hell, she should be. Even the unHoused knew that unless one must, depending entirely on tech was a bad idea.
“The *ii* got the drop on me,” Feena continued. “It triggered a rockslide. I took a few shots at it before it sprinted out of range, but from what I could tell, none of them landed. I thought I was dead, but then, my idiot brother showed up with him.”
She jabbed a finger at Garreth, who was standing motionless at her side. Like a statue.
Also. Why did people keep calling me an idiot?
“Zae convinced me to let him continue the mission in my stead, which again was stupid, but-”
“House before family,” Garreth said.
Pausing, Feena darted a glance his way with a tick starting at the corner of her mouth.
“Yes. *That,”* she said. “Zaeden ran off, and once he was clear, this man—”
Again, she pointed at Garreth.
“—who has yet to share his true name or Stratus, by the way, shattered the boulder that I’d been working for hours to break, quickly treated my injury while telling me to stay put, and raced after Zae. I don’t know what happened with the *ii,* but he brought my brother back, barely clinging to life. Fucking ignored my questions about what had happened.”
Gasping, Feena gritted her teeth, slowly loosening the fists that she had clenched in her lap.
“He’s my little brother. Of course I lost it when I saw him like…”
As she fell silent, Garreth sighed.
“I got them onto the transport, stabilized them, and activated stasis until we returned here,” he said.
Stasis? But I thought I’d heard something before waking up. Had it just been the imaginings of a dying mind?
Stasis would explain how I’d gotten here before dying, though. After passing out, I’d had maybe… a handful of minutes left. I would have barely lasted long enough to reach the transport, let alone making it to Zoln.
“Ok. Given the extraordinary circumstances, clearing this up with *shukusen* Arion shouldn’t be too difficult. We might even get lucky enough to avoid blow-back from it,” Talira said. “Even still. Feena, dear, you and I need to have a chat when you get home.”
My sister winced, as well she should. Lectures from our grandmother were never fun.
“Moving on. Our resident savior,” Talira continued. “What are we going by this time? Garreth?”
He inclined his head.
“Give me as much of your report as you can in present company.”
“Of course, my *shukusen,”* Garreth said. “Identity of target relatively certain. Details already sent to your array. I leave her fate in your hands. Current persona in House Zan thoroughly burned. Given a day, I can switch to another and return to deep cover as you require. Your orders?”
Damn. That had been… precise. Short. This Garreth was nothing like the man I’d met, but then, I should have expected as much from a House Kolb operative.
Clicking her tongue, Talira said, “And your personal status, ‘Garreth’?”
“Irrelevant,” Garreth said, “but since you’ve asked, it’s acceptable for the moment.”
Well did I know the weighty silence that fell after this declaration. How many times had I withered under the scathing glare that Talira was surely giving him? Yet, he stood impassive.
“Your orders?” he repeated.
“Ensure my grandchildren leave Ostiu safely,” Talira stiffly said. “Then, come home. We have much to discuss in person.”
Bowing to her, Garreth said, “Yes, my *shukusen.”*
He strode for the hospital's exit with me watching him the whole way. Was this what I’d become in my efforts to gather scraps of freedom to me? An unthinking automaton, only moving to the orders of my *shukusen?*
Before leaving, Garreth paused, glancing at Feena and Talira, and after seeing them occupied with one another, he turned to me, deliberately meeting my half-closed eyes, and winked. As my heart flipped in my chest, I watched him slip out the door, unable to move or breathe or think.
He’d known I was awake? Why had he let me eavesdrop on that conversation for as long as he had?
Why did something draw me like a magnet to the door he’d disappeared through?
Feena and Talira made their farewells, and once the projection had faded, my sister dropped her head into her hands. Mother Time, she looked stressed. How much of that was due to her mistake, and how much had I caused?
I didn’t understand what had made her mess up as badly as she had. I knew my sister. I might have never gone on a mission with her, but I knew she was talented. She wouldn’t have risen to Sixth Stratus so soon after her House naming if she wasn’t.
After all, Kolb was necessarily stringent on who got elevated each year. With each Strata that one progressed closer to the top, more dangerous missions might come along, and the majority of those in the upper Strata had to declare someone competent enough to handle those missions before they could advance. So, how had Feena, who’d jumped two Strata in three years, landed herself in this predicament?
In the end, it wasn’t my place to question her, and honestly, I wasn’t inclined to do that. My sister was alive. Seeing her sitting on the hospital bed beside mine was more than enough for me.
Saying that, I thought it was time for me to ‘wake up’. So, these warm and wonderful emotions that I’d been swimming through for the last few minutes must be purged while I donned my persona. For some reason, doing this was exceptionally difficult this time around, but once I’d accomplished it, I shifted in place and changed my breathing rate before fully opening my eyes.
Slowly, I looked around, taking in details that I’d missed earlier, while mapping the room. One never knew when one might need to make a hasty escape.
Lifting my hand, I winced at the IV stuck in it—never had liked that insertion point—and this got Feena’s attention.
“Zae!” she cried.
She’d raced to my bedside before I could turn her way, clinging to its edge, and damn, her face was a mess when it was this close, flushed with her eyes bloodshot and her nose red.
“Hey,” I said, “you look good.”
She truly did. After the mountains, any view of my sister was fantastic.
With a hesitant chuckle, she swiped at her nose.
“I look as good as you do,” she said. “How do you feel?”
“Fine. Why-?”
I pursed my lips as if just now remembering the events of the last few hours before resting my fingers on my chest. It was, as expected, whole with no bandages wrapped around it. The only reason I was hooked up to an IV was to replace any fluids that I might have lost while bleeding out, and I’d probably woken up in a hospital bed instead of a more comfortable room so this place’s professionals could monitor me. Rapid regeneration drugs sometimes caused unpleasant side effects, although that was rare.
“What happened?” I asked.
I remembered everything, of course, but I was interested in what Feena would tell me. Storm clouds gathered on her face while she slid her gaze away from mine.
“You were hurt. Badly,” she said. “You almost d-”
She choked on the word, so I provided it for her.
“Died? Yeah, I remember that much,” I said. “The fight. The injury to my calf. Mother Time, I should have deadened the pain receptors around it. That would have made me faster. Could maybe have kept the *ii* from turning my lungs into a honeycomb too.”
Feena made a funny noise, something between a sob and a laugh.
“Only *you* could wake up from something that awful and analyze what you did wrong,” she said.
Cocking my head, I said, “Of course. How else will I learn from my mistakes? I’m curious how I survived, though. Last I remember, the mage was standing over me.”
“Oh. Um.”
Biting her lip, Feena started playing with the blanket draped over me. Had someone told her to keep the truth to herself?
“That House Zan technician you kidnapped?” she said. “He was actually a House Kolb member on a deep-cover mission. He saved your life.”
“Wow! I must have a nose for people from Kolb,” I said before making a face. “Oh, shit. Did I ruin his mission?”
“I think so,” Feena said. “Don’t worry about it, though. He didn’t seem upset. In fact, he looked pretty amused by the whole situation.”
Oh, good. I hadn’t pissed ‘Garreth’ off. From the brief glimpse I’d caught of that man’s true nature, I knew I didn’t want him as an enemy.
“How high stratus do you think he is?” I idly asked.
Shrugging, Feena said, “No clue, but I’d guess fairly high. Third or maybe Second.”
Which meant I’d never see him again. It was probably a good thing, considering my aspirations to remain unnoticed in the middle Strata’s ranks, so why did my heart twinge at the thought?
“Mother Time, Feena,” I said, “the things I said to him…”
Oh, fuck. *The things I’d said to him.* The peek I’d given him into my heart’s desire. Please, for the love of anything that might be holy, say that Garreth forgot about me.
Feena laughed at my distress, ruffling my hair.
“Don’t worry,” she said. “If he gives you trouble for your exceedingly House Kolb behavior, you can mention it to our grandmother, and she’ll put him in his place.”
Maybe she would for most things. Not for what I’d confessed, though.
Before I could consider this problem too much, the hospital door sprang open, letting Pheniks shuffle through it. His nervous habit, repeatedly picking at the back of his hand, had appeared, and after one glance my way, he decided that the rest of the hospital room was much more interesting, crossing to Feena and me at a snail’s crawl.
When I exchanged a glance with my sister, we both suppressed sighs, but as my brother stopped at the foot of my bed, I threw on a beaming smile.
“Hiya, Phen!” I brightly said. “Where’ve you been? I’ve been looking for you.”
Pheniks hugged himself, stopping his pick at his skin.
“They wouldn’t let me come in until now,” he said. “I wanted to be here when you woke up, like Feena, but they wouldn’t let me.”
Oh, boy. He’d be a veritable ray of sunshine for the next few days.
Unless I changed that.
“Pheniks,” I said. “Come here.”
I patted the side of the bed opposite Feena, and he inched toward it like a child caught with their hand in a cookie jar.
“Zae, I’m sorr-” he started.
As soon as he was in range, I lunged, hooking my arm around his neck. Dragging him down to the blankets, I ground my knuckles into his scalp, sending an unpleasant prickle radiating from my IV’s needle, and shouting into cloth, Pheniks slapped at me. With a laugh, I released him.
He stumbled backward, rubbing his head while glaring at me, and I grinned at him. Meanwhile, Feena had one arm crossed under her breasts while she’d raised a hand to cover her snickering.
“You are such an asshole,” Pheniks growled. “I come in here, worried sick about you and Feena, and-”
“And now, you can see that you don’t need to worry,” I interrupted. “I’m fine. Feena’s fine. Everything will be ok.”
Frozen, Pheniks stared at me for a moment, but when I patted my bedside again, he flopped onto it, jabbing my chest where stone had been poking through it not long ago.
“You’re still an asshole,” he said.
I lifted my hands in surrender—
“Granted.”
—and sinking onto the bed, Feena covered our hands with hers while glancing between us.
“I love you two. Thank you for working so hard to save my life,” she said. “Don’t do it again.”
I affected a look of shocked indignation.
“We’d never,” I said. “Right, Phen?”
With a small smile, Pheniks said, “Right.”
Feena rolled her eyes.
“I mean it, idiots,” she said. “I’d never forgive myself if something like this happened again.”
“And we’d never forgive ourselves if you were hurt when we could have helped,” I snapped.
Mother Time, what had that been? I fought to retain more heated words while Pheniks spoke up.
“You can’t ask us to ignore you when you’re in danger,” he said.
“Because when that happens, I’ll come save you,” I said. “Every time.”
I was surprised to find that I’d meant that. Something about this should bother me, having me frothing at the mouth to fix it, but after what had happened in the mountains, I couldn’t make myself care.
Feena caressed our cheeks with gleaming eyes.
“You’re sweet,” she said.
She’d probably wanted to say more than that, but the chance for it was erased when the door again slid open, letting Nyco hurry through it. He looked frazzled with bits of his hair standing on end, and I briefly wondered how my choices had impacted his standing in House Zan.
“Feena, a strangely intense guy just pulled me away from work,” he said. “He said that if you and your brothers were to reach home safely, I have to get you through border control now.”
My sister caught my eye.
“Garreth,” we both said.
After she’d risen from bed, I threw the blankets off of me while ripping out my IV.
“What’s going on?” Pheniks said. “Who’s Garreth?”
Nudging him off the bed, I swung my legs over its side, pausing to let the room stop spinning before getting up.
“Don’t worry about it. All that matters is that we’re going home,” I said. “I hope someone has a change of clothes for me. I can’t go wandering down public halls in this flimsy thing, not if we want to avoid drawing attention our way.”
I plucked at my hospital gown to emphasize what I’d said. By her bed, Feena pulled something out of the pack that was sitting at the foot of it before tossing it my way, and catching it, I smirked at the high-style outfit that I was clutching.
“Nice,” I said. “Who do I have to thank for this sudden interest in fashion?”
“Just put it on, ya bastard.”
Chuckling, I started changing, despite other people’s presences in the room. Nyco and Pheniks awkwardly faced away from me, but I hardly registered their discomfort.
This trip to Ostiu was over, and while I might not have fully accomplished my goal in coming here, I was reoriented once more. Boredom was gone. Focus was mine. Emotions were, for the most part, banished to their relegated place beneath my held persona. I was ready to leave.
I was ready to travel to Lutov and its capital. I was ready to undergo my House naming, accepting my shackles.
But I was also prepared to fight them. I wouldn’t surrender to the House system. I wouldn’t despair of reaching my heart’s desire, as I had done for the last nineteen years.
I would gain my freedom, even if it took the rest of my life.
***[TTS Chapter Eight](https://hischosenfuture.com/attachments/56)***
# Chapter 9: Hello There, Civilization
With my back pressed to crumbling concrete, I counted my breaths, loosely holding my rifle in front of me. When I reached thirty-seven, I had my array activate the mine that I’d left behind. The roar of its explosion rang in my ears as I spun to where I could see over the collapsed wall that I was hiding behind, searching for my target.
Pheniks was easy to find. The force of the explosion had knocked him into the pristine hull of a ship, once claimed by those from beyond the stars. Even with the chaotic scene of humans fighting an ancient enemy displayed between us, I leveled my rifle at my brother with a kill shot lined up, but it was too early for our mock fight to end. I couldn’t show off my skill, so I shifted my aim a fraction, and my energy bolt blackened the metal beside Pheniks’ head.
He jerked away from this, rolling to his feet, and as he sprinted for cover, I chased him with barely missed shots.
Once he’d found safety, he shouted, “Really? A mine? I know you’re still dealing with your near-death experience, but that’s no excuse for breaking the rules.”
Ok. Maybe it *was* time for this to end.
Vaulting the broken wall, I let my rifle dissipate, drawing a long knife to replace it. I ducked and dodged between the people that the scenario had generated, but not once did Pheniks peek from his hidey-hole, and as I drew closer, my skin prickled.
Ducking behind the ship’s boarding ramp, I scooped pebbles off of the ground, tossing them toward Pheniks. When they landed, smoke poofed into the air, and my brother leapt from his hiding spot, nowhere near where I’d thought he was.
No matter.
I tossed my knife, and it spun to the tune of machine calculation and muscle memory, soon burying to the hilt in Pheniks’ side. To his credit, my brother didn’t scream, only releasing a single grunt as he reached for the wound, but I ended his misery soon enough. An energy bolt from my reformed rifle punched through his temple, and the scenario ended.
White walls replaced a battle between humans and alien beings, and stretching, I eyed Pheniks as he rubbed the side of his head.
“You good?” I asked.
“Mother fucking Time, Zae! Ow!” Pheniks groaned. “Why would you kill anyone like that?”
Chuckling, I said, “Would you rather if I did it another way?”
At his glare, I rolled my eyes, turning my back on him, and frowned. Someone was striding out of the weapons chamber, someone I didn’t know.
Shortly after Pheniks and I had begun the scenario, I’d registered an alert, notifying me of a participant’s addition to it, but I’d thought it was one of our parents, which this person clearly wasn’t.
Black swirled around them, billowing hair or clothes perhaps, and I had long enough to register a sense of familiarity before the door fell closed. Something inside urged me to give chase, but my brother’s continued cursing kept me in place. I had to make sure he was ok.
“Did you know someone was watching us?” I asked.
Bristling, Pheniks snapped, “No. How could I have known?”
I shook my head at him.
“Relax. I didn’t see them until just now either,” I said. “Do you think mom and dad are entertaining a guest? With us leaving in a few hours, that seems unlikely, but someone could have arrived unexpectedly.”
Apparently mollified by my admission of ignorance, Pheniks joined me in staring at the door.
“They mentioned something about a visitor this morning. Were acting antsy about it too,” he said. “I assumed it was a medic, coming to check on you again.”
Before it could raise its ugly head, I batted irritation aside. A little over a week had passed since our visit to Ostiu, and people hadn’t stopped treating me like a fragile, porcelain doll, despite how many times I’d insisted that I felt fine. Getting Pheniks to practice with me today had taken every manipulative trick I knew, and when our parents learned about this afternoon’s pastime, I was sure we’d both suffer for it.
“I hope it was a medic,” I said. ‘Maybe they’ll tell mom and dad to stop fussing.”
“Yeah, you obviously don’t need it,” Pheniks said. “Damn, I don’t think you’ve ever taken me down so quickly.”
“You did well too,” I said, punching his shoulder. “What was in that smoke? It was so thick that I could hardly see through it.”
Brightening, Pheniks chattered about his innovation, and I half-listened while eyeing the door.
The stranger watching us had not been a medic. Of that I was certain.
Once a warrior had fought for long enough, they emanated a certain type of aura, one that any combat veteran could sense like dogs did with an impending earthquake. Our visitor had worn that aura like a well-loved cloak.
Whoever they’d been, though, they were gone, and I should put them out of my mind. Easier said than done. A message, sliding into my array, helped with that.
*Zaeden. Pheniks,* it read. *Exactly what do you think you’re doing? We’re leaving for Xygek in a few hours, and you two are playing in the weapons chamber? Get into the house and help with final preparations.*
Wincing, I said, “Oo, dad’s not happy.”
“I’m blaming this one on you,” Pheniks said.
He brushed past me, and I followed, sputtering protests.
Hours later, my family and the items that we’d need for a week-long stay in the capital had been loaded onto a shuttle, and the four of us were lounging in its enclosed passenger segment. Relatively spacious, it was lined with nicely padded benches around the perimeter.
While the vehicle was in motion, only one belt was required here rather than the full-body harnesses that transports needed. A table sat between these benches, provided for passengers who wanted to play games while traveling, and a cooler was hanging on the far wall with every drink one could imagine ready for preparation inside of it.
Usually, individuals and smaller parties would use a skycruiser to reach the capital, as those vehicles could provide a more comfortable trip, but groups as large as ours needed to take a shuttle. Also, other travelers would usually be sharing this space with us, but my parents had finagled their way into a private trip this time.
I wished they hadn’t. If strangers had been in the shuttle with us, they might have distracted my family from their favorite topic in recent days: me.
I didn’t mind the attention they were giving me, rather enjoyed it in truth. The problem was the amount of it.
The longer I spoke with someone, the more my persona cracked, and even if that process was slow, it gradually revealed my rigid control of the emotions hidden beneath it. To this point in my life, those cracks hadn’t spread far enough for people to notice what I’d unintentionally revealed, but sooner or later, that day would come, and I didn’t know what I’d do when that happened.
These cracks in my persona weren’t usually a problem. Most conversations included breaks where other people were speaking, and I could reset in those moments, reminding myself of which lies I’d told to which people, but on this trip, those breaks weren’t lasting long enough.
I was the center of attention with my House naming the reason that we were crossing half of Lutov. On top of that, my parents hadn’t stopped fretting about nearly losing me. They bombarded me with their concern, and eventually, I left my seat to get a drink, hoping to impose a pause.
As I input what I’d like into the cooler, I listened to Pheniks’ restrained hiss behind me.
“Lay off of him. Can’t you tell you’re making him uncomfortable?”
“Oh,” dad said.
While mom muttered, “Oops.”
Mother Time bless my brother. When I took my seat again, he’d engaged our parents in a game of *phansha,* leaving me to do as I liked. Draping over the back of a bench, I watched the grasslands passing by outside.
No estates stood against the horizon, none within view at least, but I hadn’t expected to see any. House Drav kept Lutov’s population at its lower limit for many reasons, but chief of these was to make sure that we Lutovish didn’t overcrowd what meager land we could claim.
Even still, the privacy that the upper Strata enjoyed must be maintained, and both low and mid Strata must have a chance to lead comfortable lives in Xygek or the handful of villages spread across the homeland, neither of which could happen if too many people occupied too little space. So, Drav kept our numbers restricted.
Perhaps if the Tainted Lands hadn’t been constraining us so badly, House Drav could lift their restrictions, but that wasn’t the case. Feena sometimes grumbled that we should crowd the upper Strata more closely together so more people could have children, but she always voiced her complaints in the privacy of the family home. No one, not even her, would dare suggest such a thing in public. High Strata House members deserved some perks for the punishing work that their roles required.
When we reached the forest surrounding Xygek, the shuttle lifted into the air, leaving trees swaying in the breeze below us. Lutov’s sole nature preserve stretched from here to the coast: some three thousand kilometers dedicated to protecting the land’s native plant and animal life. Rarely were Lutovish allowed to venture beneath its branches, and when this happened, the lucky few must enter on foot, taking nothing from the forest and leaving nothing behind.
I’d always found it funny that Feena complained about the high Strata taking up too much space while never making a peep about the abundance of land that the Preserve ate up. I wasn’t a proponent of leveling the forest, mind you. Mother Time knew we’d wrecked enough of this land over the centuries. I just found the contrast interesting.
A glint appeared above the forest’s canopy, and as my heart rate increased, I twisted to my knees in my seat. At my movement, Pheniks and my parents stopped talking to join me at the window. Together, we watched that bouncing light grow stronger until the trees fell away, revealing the magnificence lying in the valley behind them.
Xygek, the seat of Lutov’s power.
I could never control my reaction at the sight of it, no matter how many times I visited. A sea of towers, all precisely laid out, rose for the sky while glinting skycruisers formed a cloud around them. Plasma bridges stretched between the buildings, linking tiered platforms and sprawling parks at every level, and all of it claimed a monochromatic theme with the clothing from blotchy crowds providing its only color.
From its edge, the cityscape rose in a reverse funnel to six, towering skyscrapers with bands and rotating loops of gold decorating them, and the vast spread of Lake Voxmore shone behind all of it. This was Xygek, capital of Lutov, and the only true city that the homeland claimed.
“It’s beautiful,” mom said.
She’d only spoken what we were all thinking. Something about this city called to the heart of all Lutovish. Maybe it was pride in our accomplishments, both of those who were alive and those gone to the Collective. Maybe it was the stark change found between here and our home in the country. Whatever it was, it shoved a fist down my throat, making it hard to swallow, while tears blurred my vision.
When we drew close enough for individual towers to fill the window, I flopped into my seat. The city up close failed to impress as spectacularly as the view from a distance, and I didn’t like intermingling the two.
Soon enough, we set down on a landing pad, leaving the shuttle to wait for our return. One by one, we filed into House Kolb’s headquarters, descending a single level to an expansive foyer, adorned with all the trappings of those who held authority.
Noting a painting that Talira had added since the last time I’d visited this place, I strode to it, leaning forward to inspect the piece. The canvas’ shifting threads morphed the painting through the process of a bird taking flight. I quite liked it, but then, I’d always enjoyed the art here.
As he stopped beside me, dad said, “Another Gazi piece? She sure does like that artist.”
“To be fair, Gazi’s quite talented,” I said. “I wouldn’t mind owning a few of his pieces.”
Giving me a sidelong look, dad said, “I didn’t know you were into art.”
I shrugged.
“I appreciate the effort and technique that goes into a painting like this, is all,” I said. “Nothing more.”
“Hrmm,” dad grunted.
Had I surprised him, and if so, did that mean I’d operated outside of my persona’s parameters? If I had, it shouldn’t be a disaster. People’s likes and dislikes changed all the time, but it meant I’d have to stay within the limits of my chosen role for a while.
Before dad could start asking more pesky questions, the foyer’s second set of doors opened, and the four of us entered the office of House Kolb’s *shukusen.*
“Ximon!” Talira cried, striding from behind her desk with her arms spread wide.
My dad moved forward to accept her embrace.
“Mom.”
The rest of us waited while they participated in their normal battle of who could squeeze the hardest, but when they released one another, Talira turned on mom.
“Mira, it’s good to see you,” she said. “I’m guessing you’re not fighting with my son at the moment.”
With a small smile, mom said, “If we were fighting, could we be in the same room without a sniping competition starting?”
“Fair enough,” Talira said, chuckling. “Come here, then.”
They hugged, and once that was done, our grandmother turned her attention to Pheniks and me. She swept us into her arms before we had time to react, and we endured peppered kisses with many a wince. When she freed us from this torment, she bopped Pheniks’ nose.
“I’ve been keeping track of your studies,” she said. “Alezand and Arion have been raving about your rotations in their Houses. You have no idea how many hours I’ve spent preening over you with them.”
She winked, which had Pheniks stumbling over his words.
Meanwhile, I wondered what to make of my grandmother’s obvious lie. Houses Kolb, Zan, and Cerullis—two of whom were led by the *shukusenth* Talira had mentioned—had been jockeying for power since the formation of Lutov. I doubted my grandmother could stand to be in the same room as her rivals for long, especially not Cerullis’ *shukusen.* Things had gotten… tense between them and House Kolb in recent years.
But then, Talira turned to me with her face darkening, and contemplation of her lie fell to the wayside. She pinched my cheek *hard,* leaning in until she was all I could see.
“And you,” she growled. “Don’t you *dare* make me worry as much as you have in recent days. Do I make myself clear?”
“Crystal,” I managed to reply.
Biting her lip, she wrapped me in her warmth, placing her mouth beside my ear.
“You make me so proud, Zae,” she said, “but I wish you weren’t such an embodiment of this House.”
Releasing me, she patted the cheek she’d pinched before returning her attention to my father.
While they visited, I circled Talira’s office. As the head of House Kolb, she took up the highest floor in their headquarters, looking down over the rest. It had always been an austere place with not much to look at besides a sideboard and a wall of windows, as well as the obligatory desk and chairs, of course.
As I wandered toward that arrangement of furniture, one of the gold rings that swooped around this tower soared into view, and in its shadow, I palmed a device, left lying in my pocket since earlier today. When I passed Talira’s chair, I dropped this device into it before continuing on as if I’d done nothing out of the ordinary.
Eventually, my grandmother bade us farewell, and we returned to our shuttle, having made our obligatory obeisance. While on the way to my family’s city apartment, I received a message, embedded in the tightest security processes I’d seen in a while.
*Zae,* it read. *I don’t know when you placed it, probably when your parents were distracting me, but your shocker gave me quite the buzz when I sat on it. I cannot tell you how hard it made me laugh once I’d figured out what had happened.*
*In the future, however, I would advise against pranking a* shukusen, *whether your own or one from another House.*
*Much love, grandson. I look forward to attending your House naming ceremony.*
As I closed the message, Pheniks asked, “What are you smiling about?”
“Just our grandmother,” I said. “She wished me well with my House naming.”
Pheniks was quiet for a moment before darting a glance my way.
“Are you nervous about it?” he asked.
More than I could say.
“Not at all,” I told him, chortling. “What’s there to worry about?”
Besides my entire future getting decided by a single event. Besides a fault in my logic possibly ruining my life.
My brother didn’t push it, thank Mother Time, and within a quarter hour, the shuttle glided into our family’s private hangar. Feena was waiting here, probably under the assumption that she’d stay with us until the week was up.
She wasn’t wrong.
Once necessary social obligations had been satisfied, I begged off of anything more, claiming fatigue as an excuse to leave my family’s side. That wasn’t, of course, my real reason for wanting time to myself, though. As I wandered down familiar hallways, I sent off a message, one that confirmed my arrival in the capital, before retreating to my room so I could prepare.
I had a date soon, after all.
***[TTS Chapter Nine](https://hischosenfuture.com/attachments/57)***
# Chapter 10: Oh Look, I Have a Life
I met Fyester when I was fifteen years old during a House Kirst rotation. We’d immediately hit it off with our shared love of pranks getting us in more trouble than I cared to admit. Before long, mutual attraction had led to a deepening of our relationship and… well. It had been going strong ever since, hence why I was standing outside of his family’s apartment, rapidly tapping my foot.
Fyester had always liked keeping me waiting with nearly two months passing before he kissed me for the first time. In most instances, I didn’t mind giving him the time he needed, filling it with homework problems or other projects. Today, however, we were on a schedule, and I was worried that he’d make us miss the first bit of fun that I had planned.
Soon enough, he came to meet me, and almost, I discarded said schedule. Fyester’s blonde hair bounced on his head, so boisterous was his step, and his loose jacket, coattails and all, hung over a tightly conforming jumpsuit, all of which sent a wave crashing through me. When his near-purple gaze landed on me, lighting with delight, I called up a list of overnights, stopped only by the promise of what awaited us later.
Besides, I could use some time spent adjusting to life without a persona in place before we got to that part of the day.
Scampering to me, Fyester swept me into a hug, kissing me, and damn… I could tell it had been a while since I’d last spent time with a partner. I was a bit dizzy when he released me.
“Hey, Zae,” he said with a sloppy grin. “How’ve you been?”
“Bored. Lonely,” I said. “I missed you.”
Brushing my hand through his hair, I kissed him again, lingering this time, and when we pulled apart, Fyester’s eyes were unfocused while he licked his lips.
“I can see that,” he said. “Do we have plans for the day or…?”
I found it gratifying that I wasn’t the only who was eager to bring our date to a satisfactory conclusion, but it made me more determined than ever to savor this.
“A bunch of House Zan members have a gathering scheduled soon, one that they’re setting up nearby,” I said. “I thought we might pay them a visit.”
An evil grin spread across Fyester’s face, making me shiver.
“Sounds great,” he said. “Let’s go.”
With him following in my wake, I smirked at how easily he’d conformed to my plans. Fyester came from a House Cerullis family, making it the one he was most likely to choose at our upcoming House naming.
While Cerullis had increased its hostile behavior toward Kolb in recent years, they and House Zan held a deep, abiding hatred of one another with their similar specialties allowing nothing less. Zan ever accused Cerullis of giving them too little research data for their projects, and Cerullis insisted that Zan pushed them too hard for results.
I’d never understood what had possessed Lutov’s Founders to entrust the scientific field to two different Houses. Surely, they went better together, but at the moment, separate was what they were.
I firmly didn’t think about what would happen to my relationship with Fyester once we were in rival Houses. Romantic partnerships between members of different Houses had worked in the past, but they were few and far between.
Our future together, however, was a problem for another day. For now, I had him, and my plans for today should be entertaining for us both.
The House Zan meeting was taking place on a neighboring tower’s platform. When we arrived, trees and bushes provided us with ample hiding spaces, and crouching behind a flowering hydrangea, I ran my eyes over the people spread across a field of grass. A nearby table held a variety of picnic foods, but our soon-to-be victims hadn’t started sampling from them yet, still finishing up with their meet-and-greet.
Pursing my lips, I silently cursed at myself. I saw no way to harmlessly disrupt this gathering, which was too bad. Fyester had always been more… animated after a prank.
When I turned to apologize, however, I found him shaking a vial full of liquid over a veritable mini lab, all spread at his feet.
Glancing over his skin-tight jumpsuit once more, I said, “The fuck were you hiding that?”
He just grinned at me, extending his mixed vial.
“Can you get this in their food?” he asked.
Could I get that in…?
“What do you take me for?” I sputtered. “A member of House Kirst?”
After all, people from a House dedicated to education would only balk at the proposed scenario.
The bastard’s grin widened, and he shook the vial.
“Prove it,” he said.
Scowling, I snatched what he was offering.
“I do this, and you have to be especially nice to me today,” I said, jabbing my finger in his face.
His eyes were dancing when I turned away, but of course they were. He knew I’d find his challenge easy, and that, in turn, meant he knew what was in store for him later.
Setting my array to watch the gathered House Zan members, I had it calculate the probable trajectories of the attendees’ gazes, making my way, step by faltering step, to the table. As often as I could, I hid my approach behind other people, refusing to rely solely on tech for this infiltration, but when one had nothing else, one should use one’s array. What was the point of them otherwise?
On reaching the banquet table without incident, I quickly moved along it, dripping some of Fyester’s concoction in each dish. After contaminating the last of them, I stored the vial, preparing to make my getaway, when a shadow fell over me.
Spinning, I was greeted by a giant of a man.
“What do you think you’re doing?” he asked.
Panic was stripped from me while the practices I’d abandoned outside Fyester’s home popped back into place.
“Oh, Mother Time. I’m sorry. Was I intruding?” I said, fidgeting. “I didn’t mean to. I just wanted… Oh, I don’t know-”
“Who are you?” the giant interrupted.
And his blank expression never changed.
“Oh! No one important,” I said, rubbing the back of my neck. “I’m in the capital for my House naming. I’m pretty sure I’ll choose Cerullis when it comes down to it, but I wanted to see what Zan has to offer before making my decision. Again, I’m sorry if I’ve troubled you.”
As expected, this claim cracked the giant’s empty façade.
“I see. You’re welcome to join us if you like, but don’t feel obligated to. It looked like you were in a rush to head elsewhere,” he said. “And if you’re leaving, please. Take something with you. Never let it be said that Zan can’t be generous.”
It was a dare, and I knew it. I had to prove my story, or they’d replace this food, ruining our prank. So, I grabbed a fancy pastry off the table before taking a bite out of it.
“Don’t mind if I do,” I said with crumbs flying out of my mouth. “Thank you.”
While the giant distastefully swiped at the mess I’d made on his shirt, I slipped around him, moving as fast as I could toward Fyester. I already had my array scouring possible toxins from my body, but I’d like to have an antidote for whatever had been in his concoction as well.
As I approached, Fyester held out a vial to me, and after grabbing it and his hand, I chugged it down while dragging him behind me. Once we were a sufficient distance away, I tossed the vial into a recycler, and it shattered as I reeled Fyester in front of me.
I shoved him against a tree, pressing my body into his while our mouths crashed into one another, and my hands, already in his clothes, curled into fists to match the rise of heat in me.
When I pulled free of him, Fyester was more distracted than I’d seen him in a while, but even noting that, I dragged myself out of his gravity well, patting his cheek.
“Don’t you want to see what happens?”
I led him a few floors above the platform, stopping at a set of windows that overlooked the park, and to the distaste of passersby, we plastered against the glass. We watched House Zan members sample from their banquet, snickering when a few of them soon clutched at their stomachs and outright laughing when several raced away, presumably for a washroom.
Oh, we were truly terrible for inflicting something like this on other people, but in this moment, watching Fyester’s face glow, I couldn’t bring myself to care. Collapsed on the floor, he curled his fingers through mine, and the way he was looking at me made my heart race.
“So, what’s the plan?” he asked. “Are we finding an overnight? Going back to your place?”
He made no mention of his home, but to be fair, his parents might pitch a fit if I stepped inside of it, given my House Kolb heritage.
Winking, I said, “I have a better plan. Can you playact like you’re undecided about your House naming for a while?”
“I think so,” Fyester said with a frown. “Why?”
“You’ll see,” I said.
After drawing him to his feet, I led him down lifts, across plasma bridges, and on a single shuttle ride, but once that was done, we were standing at the foot of my intended destination: House Kolb’s headquarters in Xygek.
“What are you doing?” Fyester hissed at me.
With a smirk, I forcibly dragged him into the lobby, heading for a weary-looking low Stratus member sitting behind the greeting desk.
“Hello. I’m Zaeden, unHoused,” I said. “I was hoping to get another tour of the apartment I might gain if I choose Kolb at my House naming. My partner’s having last-minute doubts, and I’d like to appease them.”
After I poked him, Fyester made a face.
“What he said,” he mumbled.
“An easy enough request to accommodate,” the woman behind the desk tiredly said. “Wait here while I request a tour guide’s presence.”
With a short bow, I said, “Thank you, ma’am.”
When she flicked her fingers at us, I pulled Fyester to the side.
“What are you doing?” he immediately repeated.
Finally, I had a chance to return the evil smile he’d given me earlier.
“I told you. You’ll see.”
He was quiet after that, and I was content to watch him and the lobby around us until a voice drifted our way.
“I hear you’d like a tour?”
The question had come from behind the greeting desk, where a woman with turquoise hair and yellow eyes was waiting for us.
“Yes, please,” I said.
Taking Fyester’s hand again, I headed toward our guide with a bright smile.
Waving at him, I said, “This is my partner, Garreth.”
*Garreth?* I’d needed a false name so Fyester wouldn’t get in trouble, of course. So, why had I defaulted to the name of a man I hadn’t thought about in days?
I. had. not.
By the time Fyester and the guide had exchanged greetings, I’d collected myself.
“If you’ll follow me, I’ll show you one of our temp apartments,” the guide said.
She took us to one of the lifts scattered across the lobby with members of all Strata bustling between them and the doors. I’d always found this place severe. Stark. Nothing decorative adorned it with everything utilitarian instead. I hoped Fyester got the same feeling because I wanted our arrival upstairs to have the same effect as it had had on me.
After our guide put our floor destination into a lift’s control, I indicated that Fyester should go first while maintaining a white-knuckled grip on the woman’s wrist. Shrugging, he stepped inside to shoot through the ceiling, and I released my hold on our guide.
“After you’ve completed your tour, I’d like a half-hour alone with him, if you’re willing to accommodate that,” I said. “I believe it will be necessary if he’s to join Kolb.”
Chuckling, the guide flapped a hand at me.
“I expected as much when you appeared on my docket. You’re not the first to make a request like that, and besides, you’ve made quite the name for yourself, young one,” she said. “Yes, I’ll help you with your fun. Just try not to make a mess.”
I had a reputation in House Kolb already? It made sense, given that I was Talira’s grandson, but even still…
Wait. Was that good or bad for my plans in this House?
“Thank you?” I said. “I won’t?”
“Oh, Mother Time, you’re adorable,” the guide said before stepping into the lift.
What was that supposed to mean?
Frowning, I waited until she was high above me before making my own ascent.
Once we’d entered an empty apartment, our guide went through the typical tour, explaining the protocol that every House followed. Until a new member received their placement, they stayed in their chosen House’s headquarters, only expected to find a home afterward, but beforehand, they enjoyed their House’s luxuries, and Kolb had many of these.
I swore to Mother Time, our guide moved through her tour as slowly as possible, showing off the various amenities in the kitchen and living room before finally leading us into the bedroom. With ample space, the room made its centerpiece, the bed, look dwarfed, which wasn’t helped by the floor-to-ceiling windows along one wall.
At the sight of those, Fyester—to this point suitably awed—clasped his hands in front of his face before rushing to take in the view from half a kilometer in the air. While he was distracted, our guide lifted an eyebrow at me, and I rolled my eyes. She hid her resulting laughter poorly, and a message slid into my array.
*Remember. Not too much of a mess,* it read. *Don’t get me in trouble.*
When I nodded, she assumed the most believable expression of horror that I’d seen in a while.
“Oh, Mother Time,” she gasped. “I’ve got to- Oh, dear. That’s not good.”
Taking her cue, I faced her, frowning.
“What is it?”
With a distracted look in place, she said, “Something’s come up. I’m sure it’s nothing but…”
She cast a sharp glance between Fyester and me.
“Can I leave you two here for a moment?” she asked. “I won’t be long.”
I hesitantly nodded, and dumbstruck, Fyester joined me.
“Please, take care of your problem,” he said.
With a quick bow, our guide mumbled her appreciation before racing off, and I sent her my thanks, even as I sighed with relief. We could move on to the main event now.
*Finally.*
***[TTS Chapter Ten](https://hischosenfuture.com/attachments/58)***
# Chapter 11: Eavesdropping Is Usually a Bad Idea
With our guide gone, Fyester looked a little lost, so I flounced onto the bed, hoping to distract him.
“Well,” I said, “that was strange.”
“Mm,” was all Fyester would say.
I wasn’t sure how to continue. Did he want more small talk from me? Could I skip that? How could I get his attention back to where it should be right now: on me, not the distraction I’d created?
Best to play it safe.
“So, what do you think of this place?” I asked.
Almost in concert with me, Fyester asked, “Are you asking me to join Kolb in a few days? Because I won’t. You should know that.”
Well. His attention was *certainly* on me now.
With my mouth gaping, I stared at Fyester, a little hurt by his accusation.
“Fy, I would never influence your decision about which House you join. Not in a million years. More than anything, I want you to be happy with your work in the future,” I said. “But I also wanted…”
Dammit. I’d hoped to let this go unmentioned, keeping our current encounter as a surprising, one-in-a-thousand chance, but given what he’d just said, I wasn’t sure if he’d believe what I was about to say, not unless I shared everything.
So much for my pretense with our guide, but in the end, it would be better for him to know how I’d gotten us here than to have him angry at me for a misunderstanding.
“Do you really think an emergency spirited our tour guide away?” I asked. “We’re unHoused, and this is Kolb’s *headquarters.* She wouldn’t have left us alone here unless…”
Trailing off, I looked away, unable to meet his gaze.
“I brought us here so I could manipulate a system that I’m well acquainted with. I wanted us to have a nice setting for this part of what might be our last…”
Our last date. I couldn’t bring myself to say those words, though.
I might have plenty of partners, but saying goodbye to one always hurt, not only because it was a farewell but because afterward, I’d have one less person I could be myself around. One less person who didn’t require my developed persona when I was with them.
After hearing my explanation, Fyester shook his head with a huff, but then, he jumped on me, leaving his feet hanging over the bedside. At the sudden movement, I almost tried tossing him off, as my instincts demanded, but Mother Time, his face was close—the sight of it overriding everything else—and damn, if I didn’t want to kiss him.
“Why didn’t you just say that, you idiot?” he said with a laugh.
I couldn’t help myself. If I strained my neck, I could just about reach his head, so flinging my arms around his neck, I kissed him like I’d been wanting to. It was hesitant at first, but that quickly changed. Soon enough, my body was insistently reminding me of my need for air while he was digging his fingernails into my shoulders.
Hell. At this rate, I might still have marks when we were done here.
Oh, well.
With a twist of my hips, I flipped us over, quickly getting settled on Fyester’s stomach. I pushed my hands under his pantsuit’s jacket, smirking at his gasp when I found skin, but when he tried to do the same with me, I stopped, raising an eyebrow.
“Excuse me. Did I say you could touch me?” I asked. “I know you’ve never had a problem with getting people’s hands on you, but *I* like to say when you get that particular pleasure, and I haven’t spoken those words yet. Right?”
With his eyes going wide, Fyester wordlessly dropped his hands to the bed, and leaning over him, I claimed his mouth with my own, tugging on his hair while reaching for the fastener to his jumpsuit. I smiled as he started squirming under me, enjoying how that struggle got stronger with every tug on his clothes.
But then, I pulled free, scrambling off of him so I could move toward the windows. As expected, Fyester released a half-exasperated, half-pleased groan behind me, although he made no move to follow me. Yet.
This, the flirt and tease, was a true part of who I was: me without personas to hide me and with emotions allowed in my heart. The version of me that I only shared with my partners, who would never risk my quest for freedom.
Turning to the bed, I arched an eyebrow on seeing Fyester still lying atop it, if propped up on his elbow. Needed more of a push to get up, did he? I could accommodate that.
As I started unbuttoning my shirt, I turned back toward the windows, and when I shrugged out of it, Fyester’s breath caught.
“Fuck me,” he whispered.
That had been quiet enough that I wasn’t sure if he’d meant for me to hear it. Either way, I didn’t care, not when I heard the bed creaking behind me. Soon Fyester was wrapping hesitant arms around my waist and trailing kisses along my shoulder.
Putting my lips as close to his ear as I could get them, I said, “Fuck you? That’s the idea, isn’t it?”
Fyester might snort at that, but still, I felt him shiver before he pulled away.
“That was just *bad,* Zae.”
“Oh, I know.”
As he came into view, I took one of his arms to guide him fully in front of me and backed him into the window-wall. The contact with its glass had him freezing for a split second, and I paused, wondering what was wrong, until I noticed him trying to glance behind him.
Was he afraid he’d fall from this height? He should know better. Even if I’d flung him into the windows—for whatever silly reason I might have wanted to do that—the force of his impact wouldn’t have shattered the glass. It was designed to withstand much more strenuous pressure than one man’s weight crashing into it. Plus, no tower in Xygek went without a protective barrier wrapped around the building, something to keep us humans safe in the unlikely event that the windows did break.
So, plummeting out of this apartment? Literally impossible.
Still, I planted my hands on either side of Fyester’s head, kissing him to get his mind off of it. After a bit, I backed off, and he let out a shaky breath.
“Mother Time, you’re such an asshole sometimes,” he said.
“Yes?” I said, cocking my head. “I thought you liked that.”
“What on earth could make you think-?”
He went quiet, but I couldn’t blame him for that, considering how busy I was with yanking his clothes’ sleeves off of him. As I pulled his outfit the rest of the way free, I smirked at his flushed face.
“Don’t you dare lay a finger on me, Fy,” I said. “I might have allowed it temporarily, but you still don’t have full permission yet.”
We were stuck there for a while. Fyester had his head thrown back while trying to dig his fingernails through barrier-wrapped glass. He gasped when I got to my feet, and raking my fingers through his hair, I pressed my body against his. Soon enough, though, I retreated again. This time, I took him with me.
My array helped with my fever-drunk guidance to the bed, projecting proper foot placement on my closed eyelids. I didn’t pay nearly as much attention to that as I normally would, not that I could. The heat rising in me had already blasted through my focus.
It was so shattered that I almost ran us into the bedside, but the last-minute stop that I took to avoid that collision sent Fyester careening away from me instead, quickly jerking me after him. My training kicked in, and I used my retained grip on his arm to flip him mid-fall, jabbing my knee between his shoulder blades as we landed. When a pained grunt flew from him, I blinked, easing up a little.
Damn. That could have gone *much* worse.
Trying to shrug it off, I said, “Did I say you could touch me?”
“But… you kissed me,” Fyester gasped.
Right. I had done that.
“Who said anything about kissing?” I said. “I asked whether you *touched* me without permission.”
Never mind that he’d needed to do that if he’d wanted to keep his balance while stumbling here. That had never had a bearing on this game of ours.
“I’m… sorry, Zae,” Fyester said. “Can I make it up to you?”
I clambered off of him so I could fumble with the buttons on my slacks.
“Oh, I’m sure you’ll think of something to fix this.”
I lost myself in the heady combination of desire and *need* and a thirst to merge with another that came when I was with a partner like this, but it was especially powerful today with Fyester. I had to lay in his arms for quite a while afterward because my legs refused to cooperate.
Fortunately, he didn’t seem to mind. He cuddled up next to me, making snarky jokes to take my mind off my loss of control. Mother Time, he made fun of this apartment’s next occupants in far too many inappropriate ways.
Still, by the time our guide returned, I could stand again, and both Fyester and I had cleaned the bedroom to a reasonable degree.
“I’m sorry to have kept you waiting,” she said as she entered the apartment. “Thank you for your patience.”
“Not a problem,” I said.
“What he said,” Fyester murmured, leaning on me.
At his relaxed behavior, our guide almost lost her composure. Her lips were just begging to be allowed a smile, but she near instantly got a hold of herself, flattening them instead.
Good control on this one. I wondered what her Stratus was.
“Well, you’ve certainly been here for long enough,” she said. “Did you have any questions for me?”
“I don’t think so,” I said. “I believe I got my point across.”
I glanced at Fyester, who was rocking his chin on my shoulder while humming to himself. Good to know that he’d had a nice time too.
“In that case, we should leave this apartment so I can reset its security processes,” our guide said. “If you want, you can return to the lobby without me. I’m sure you can find your way there by yourself. You’ve been crawling all over this place since you were a kid, after all.”
That last comment had me snapping my eyes to slits. I’d decided that I *did not* like having a reputation of any sort within House Kolb, as it might impede my plans, and this was the second time our guide had implied that I might have one.
“I wasn’t aware that I was so famous here,” I said.
Laughing, our guide waved my concern away.
“Oh, you’re not,” she said. “It’s my job to learn what I can about potential House members before giving them tours, which is why they sometimes start later than the moment they’re requested. *Shukusen* Talira was particularly helpful for this one.”
Meaning my grandmother knew I was here. That was… hmm. I didn’t know if that was problematic or not.
“I see,” I said. “It seems thanks are especially in order for your time.”
“It was no problem, young one,” our guide said. “Much luck in your upcoming House naming.”
We left her so she could secure the apartment behind us. Back at the lift, I set a floor destination into its control before stopping Fyester from entering it.
“Can you meet me at this restaurant in say… half an hour?” I asked. “I have something small to handle while I’m here.”
I sent him a message with the place’s coordinates attached.
“Sure, Zae. It’s fair play after I made you wait this morning,” Fyester said. “Thanks for doing this.”
He vaguely gestured at the building around us.
“It was fun.”
“Of course,” I said. “Maybe we can do something similar later this evening?”
With a dreamy smile, Fyester said, “I’d like that.”
I kissed him goodbye, keeping my hand lifted in farewell until he’d fallen through the floor. Then, I headed for a lift that would have access to the *shukusen’s* office. Hopefully, I’d find my grandmother there.
When I was halfway to my destination, though, a voice—one I’d never thought I’d hear again—had me stumbling to a stop in the hallway. Barely breathing, I crept to the wedged-open door of an apartment ahead, cocking my head at the old-fashioned pen that was blocking its door from closing. I hadn’t seen one of those in-
“We’ve already discussed this into the ground, getting nowhere in the process,” Garreth said from inside. “It’s needed, Talira. You know it is.”
What was *he* doing here? Shouldn’t he be on a mission, or I didn’t know, wherever it was that high Strata went to spend their time?
“I do *not,”* Talira said. “We have time. We can find-”
“No. We can’t.”
Had- had Garreth just interrupted his *shukusen?*
Also, why was my grandmother down here instead of in her office? Unless something required her presence elsewhere, she was usually up there on most days. Was this a secret meeting between the higher-ups, and if so, why had they left the door open? They should know better. *I* knew better so…
Had one of them blocked the door on purpose?
“Please, Talira. I need you to truly listen to me about this,” Garreth said. “I’m making more mistakes than we can afford. If we’re to have another piece ready before I fail, I need to start preparations now.”
“Stop talking like that!” Talira snapped. “You’re not some- some cog in a machine!”
Silence filled the room, one with a weight that nearly crushed me into a wall.
“Forgive my impertinence, but remember who you once were. You’re letting emotions cloud your thinking, my *shukusen,”* Garreth said. “Consider our situation using only logic, and tell me I’m wrong.”
“I know you’re right, you bastard,” Talira sobbed. “It’s just… why him?”
“He shows the greatest potential, more than I ever thought I’d encounter in my life,” Garreth said. “I’m not sure I could find someone better in the little time we have left.”
After another few seconds of quiet, he continued, if in a slightly sharper voice.
“My decision is made. In this one thing, you can’t countermand it. We should-”
“I already said you were right,” Talira said. “I already fucking agreed. Don’t rub it in.”
Once more, silence fell, but this time, I was confused enough to ignore its weight. What the hell was going on? I’d never heard someone talk to my grandmother like that before, and I’d certainly never heard her cry.
“I wish there was another way, but we both know there isn’t,” Garreth said. “Now, what are your orders for me, my *shukusen?”*
A shuddering sob ended my grandmother’s weeping, and she coughed.
“You’re to stay in this apartment until… until the end of the week. Only then may you begin with him. Until then, I have nothing that needs your touch, not now,” she said. “Use the typical channels to request anything you might need.”
“Yes, my *shukusen.”*
Shit, my grandmother would soon be coming through the door beside me. I doubted she’d wanted me to hear that conversation, so as quietly as I could, I hightailed it toward a lift.
Fortunately, the one closest to me was already set to take me to the lobby, but once I was on the ground floor, I wandered to an out-of-the-way corner, unsure if I could maneuver through Xygek’s crowds with so many questions buzzing in my head.
I didn’t know what to make of what I’d overheard. Someone reprimanding my grandmother and telling her about his contradictory plans without her protesting? I’d think that person was the legendary *Lokke Vitras* if he weren’t Garreth and if I hadn’t known him.
I was in no way important enough for House Kolb’s First Stratus to save my life. Plus, Garreth looked *nothing* like the *Lokke Vitras*. Sure, we Lutovish could change our appearance at times, but most people didn’t take advantage of it, including deep-cover operatives. Maybe the *Lokke Vitras* would, though? Considering how well-known he was, he might need a disguise when in deep cover.
If Garreth had been… him, though, why would he have let me kidnap him? It made no sense. In what way had his faux kidnapping protected Lutov? That was supposed to be his solitary focus in life, right?
But if he wasn’t my grandmother’s First Stratus, who else could have gotten away with talking to her in such a dismissive manner? Another *shukusen?*
A couple of them, namely Alezand of Cerullis, were secretive enough that they didn’t have a public face. I could see them having the balls to, in essence, insult Talira. Who else could do that to a former *Lokke Vitras?*
But could a *shukusen* have destroyed a mage like Garreth had?
Of course, there was always the disastrous possibility that Garreth was simply a House Kolb member who somehow held leverage over my grandmother, although I didn’t see how that could be possible. As a former *Lokke Vitras,* Talira surely knew how to keep from getting blackmailed, and she’d been a *shukusen* for long enough that most people would hesitate at even considering such a suicidal undertaking.
I didn’t know what to think, but at the moment, I couldn’t ponder it further. Later tonight, I could pick at the conundrum, but for now, I needed to go. If I didn’t hurry, I’d be late for lunch with Fyester, and that, more than anything I’d heard here, was completely unacceptable.
***[TTS Chapter Eleven](https://hischosenfuture.com/attachments/59)***
# Chapter 12: Well, That Was Ominous 1
Islae didn’t want me to leave. She wasn’t being clingy, to my relief. I’d never been sure of how to handle her when she got like that. If I was right, she was just worried that we’d never see one another again.
It had been nearly a week since I’d come to Xygek, and now, I was standing with Islae outside of her apartment with the morning light beginning its peek between the towers. Nervously brushing her hands along my body, my partner maintained a non-stop stream of words, ones I was trying to listen to, but she wouldn’t let me get any of my own in edgewise, and I needed to speak.
Eventually, I caught one of her wrists, kissing the heel of her palm.
“I have to go,” I said against it. “My family’s already going to kill me for staying over.”
“I know. I’m sorry,” Islae said. “And thank you for keeping me company. I needed it. You have no idea-”
She was about to launch into another nervous ramble. Cupping the back of her neck, I rested my forehead on hers, leaving our clasped hands between us, and she fell silent, nervously glancing at the people who were surely staring at us.
“It’s just us,” I said. “They don’t matter. Only us.”
Gradually, she relaxed against me, and I breathed a sigh of relief. I hated sending her into a panic attack.
Once she’d calmed down, I asked, “Now, what’s wrong?”
As her eyes filled with tears, I started brushing them away before they could fall.
“This is it,” she said. “After you leave, we’ll never go on another date, never…”
“Never cuddle on your bed and watch *Favored Alan and the Sanguine?”* I asked.
Sniffling, Islae nodded, and I squeezed her.
“Why would we stop?” I asked.
Blinking at me, Islae said, “Because you’ll choose House Kolb tomorrow, and I’m from House Kirst.”
Of course. Houses, Houses, always the fucking Houses.
“So?” I asked.
When Islae wrinkled her nose, I chuckled.
“Why should I care about which House you belong to? All I want is to spend time with you,” I said. “Besides, Kirst and Kolb are allies now, right? So, why should we stop seeing each other?”
When she continued casting a doubtful look my way, I huffed.
“Look. If it’ll make you feel better, you’ll be my first date after my House naming,” I said. “Do you want to schedule it now?”
“No. You can send me a message like you always do,” Islae said. “Thank you, Zae.”
“Anything to make you happy, teacher,” I said.
I couldn’t help saying that. Technically, Islae was a teacher, what with her belonging to House Kirst, but she’d never liked it when I reminded her of that fact.
Jerking away from me, Islae swatted my chest.
“I. told. you. to stop calling me that,” she shouted.
Raising a feeble defense against her, I said, “Ok, ok. I’m sorry. I really do need to go, though.”
“Fine.”
Moving in again, I said, “May I kiss you today?”
Islae cocked her head before nodding.
“I think so.”
With her consent given, I did as I’d wished since the beginning of our date last night, if more gently than I might like. Islae might not enjoy much physical intimacy, but I hadn’t started dating her for that reason alone. I didn’t mind that sex was intermittent in this relationship. Other people, ones who enjoyed activities like that, could fill that need. I went on dates with Islae because I enjoyed her company.
When I pulled away from the kiss, I lifted her off the ground, twirling her, and she shrieked with laughter.
Setting her down, I said, “See you soon.”
“Mmhmm,” she said. “Good luck with everything over the next couple of days.”
“Thanks. I’ll need it.”
While Islae entered her apartment, I started sprinting down her street, pleading under my breath for the morning’s first shuttle to be at the closest stop. Islae’s luck paid off. I made it inside the craft thirty seconds before it took off, winding through people to find a handhold.
Once I had one, I peered through a window into Xygek’s bustling airways. So many shuttles and transports and skycruisers clogged the space between towers, all at designated levels, that it could overwhelm the mind. I, on the other hand, had always found it soothing, which was something I needed right now.
The last few days had been hectic, more so than I was used to. I’d forgotten how many of my partners lived in Xygek. Finding time for all of them had been difficult.
I wasn’t complaining! Far from it.
I was, however, ready for a day quietly spent with my family, even if it meant returning to a persona that I’d abandoned since reaching the capital. Even if it meant holding my emotions at arm’s length again.
When the shuttle reached my stop, I hopped off of it to the surprise of everyone inside. What could I say? I didn’t look like high Strata material, thank Mother Time.
As I strolled down a markedly less crowded street than the ones I’d been walking over the last few days, heads turned my way, and I shoved my hands in my pockets, whistling an off-key tune while nodding at the people staring at me. Once I’d reached my parents’ apartment, I stepped inside unchecked, scuffing my feet in its empty foyer.
“I’m home,” I called, sending out messages as well.
While waiting for people to respond, I headed into the kitchen, having the refectory make me pancakes and eggs once there. I was enjoying my breakfast in a nearby room with my feet propped on a side table when Pheniks found me.
“You’re late,” he said.
“And you’re annoying,” I said, pointing with my fork. “What of it?”
Rolling his eyes, Pheniks plopped into a chair without another word. Feena arrived soon afterward, and rushing to me, she swiped at my raised legs.
“What are you doing?” she hissed. “Mom and dad are already irritated.”
Keeping my legs in place, I sucked on my syrup-coated fork for a moment.
“Are they back to fighting?” I asked.
“Yes,” my siblings said as one.
That explained their irritable behavior.
Sighing, I sat up properly, quickly finishing my food, and after a drone took my plate away, I glanced between Feena and Pheniks, trying to decide which of them would win the award for the most pinched face.
We heard them before we saw them.
“-always been too soft on him,” dad was saying. “Who knows how that will affect his placement?”
Great. They were arguing about *me.* It looked like today wouldn’t be as peaceful as I’d imagined.
My parents entered the sitting room, which stopped their sniping battle for the moment, and at their glares, I lifted two fingers.
“Hey,” I said. “Sorry I’m late. I missed my shuttle.”
Dad sucked in a breath with his nostril flaring, but mom slapped a hand on his chest before he could shout at me.
“It’s… fine, Zaeden. How have your last few days been?’ she asked. “How’re your friends?”
Friends. Hah.
“Good. They say hello,” I said. “How about you?”
“We’ve been busy,” dad snapped, “and worried.”
Damn, this knot would be difficult to unsnarl.
“I should’ve kept you updated,” I said. “I’m sorry about that, but I’m here now! What needs to get done today?”
That wouldn’t be nearly enough, but returning them to reasonably hostile levels would be a long slog, one I’d have to work on throughout the day.
“Well first, we have to choose what you’re wearing tomorrow,” mom said. “Then, the neighbors would like to congratulate you, and later tonight, we have a formal dinner to attend, which again, you’ll need to choose an outfit for. It must be properly respectful, Zaeden. After we eat, our host will be holding a ceremony, one to honor those who’ve joined the Collective this year and…
“Oh, I’m sure I’m forgetting something, but those are the most important of today’s activities.”
Fuuuuuck… *Why?* Why, why, why? This would be *torture.*
With a cheerful grin in place, I rubbed my hands together.
“Let’s get started.”
“Good to see you eager about something besides the people you’re sleeping with,” Pheniks said under his breath.
Air was sucked out of the room, taking motion from its occupants as well. My brother had come close to breaking one of Lutov’s most frowned upon social gaffs, almost as bad as asking an unHoused what they’d choose at their House naming.
No one expressed an opinion on someone’s sexual preferences or their presentation of gender. It just didn’t happen.
I, however, was used to Pheniks’ obliviousness when it came to this and all other things social. Feena and our parents matched his tastes, so he never made comments like this to them. I did not, and the rest of my family wasn’t around often enough to have observed my brother’s many blunders.
I’d never let them bother me, though, because he wasn’t making these comments out of disgust or hatred. Pheniks had a propensity for saying what was on his mind, especially when it came to something that he considered interesting or unusual.
Like me.
“Really, Phen, the way you put it, you’d think I’m only interested in sex,” I said, rather mildly.
Glancing at me, Pheniks frowned.
“That’s not what I-”
As he realized what he’d said, my brother winced.
“Hell. Sorry, Zae,” he said.
See? He never meant it.
“No problem,” I said before clapping my hands. “So! What are we starting with? And don’t say choosing an outfit for dinner. I’ve already got that covered.”
My family looked a little startled that I’d so easily forgiven Pheniks. Maybe I should tweak that behavioral pattern. I hadn’t thought it worthy of applying a pretense to, but maybe I’d been wrong.
“How about we look at your options for your House naming ceremony, then?” dad shakily said.
He gestured, and several outfits appeared from thin air, left hovering in place. I instantly knew which of these I wanted to wear, but I wasn’t sure how choosing it would go over, both with my family and with the people who would be gathered at tomorrow’s ceremony.
Most of the outfits were colorful and embellished with many a decorative button and clasp. They followed Lutovish standards: a garish display of the rainbow.
The last of them was black, no color at all. Strips of white highlighted its seams, the cuffs of its boots, and the stitched Vs in its shirt, but those were the only concessions that other colors had been given.
It was a slightly more formal and militaristic version of House-issued clothing, which was what I typically wore, and I loved it. I wondered why it had made the cut for my choices.
“Well?” Feena asked with a twinkle in her eye. “Will you try them on?”
Ugh. Did I have to?
“Sounds fun,” I said. “Are you lot staying while I change? You know I don’t mind an audience.”
Rolling his eyes, dad snapped his fingers, and the outfits disappeared.
“They’re in your room,” he said.
Hearing that, I pouted, pulling out all of the stops, but dad didn’t flinch. Damn. I knew I looked sickeningly adorable right now. Was dad immune to that trick now?
“You’re no fun.”
Flowing to my feet, I spun, pointing my finger accusingly.
“None of you.”
I left them behind, heading for my room, and when I entered it, my array cued a host of processes that I’d set to run when I arrived.
For several seconds, the lights bloomed to full brightness, banishing shadows from every dark cranny, before dimming to comfortable levels, and music—a collection by Maliva—resumed from the point where it had last been playing. A fresh, spring scent replaced any staleness hanging in the air, and above my side table, a cooler prepared a whiskey sour—my favorite—for me.
Ignoring the clothes that were floating like ghosts at the foot of my bed, I retrieved the drink, downing it in a few gulps. I’d need its support today.
After a period gone without it, stepping back into my persona was always difficult. Sometimes, it could take up to an hour before it had settled into place. I was fairly good at faking it until then, but with what my parents had planned for today, relying on skin-deep pretenses might not be enough.
I’d known that today would require preparation for tomorrow's ceremony, but I hadn’t expected so much of it. All I’d wanted was to relax before making a decision that would determine the rest of my life, binding me to a House.
What I wanted, however, had never had a bearing on… well, anything.
I endured my private fashion show for my family, carefully watching their faces every time I entered the sitting room. They had a clear favorite out of my clothing choices, but as expected, it wasn’t the one I liked. Before leaving my room for a final time, I ran a finger along its sleeve. It was too bad. I’d have looked stunning in this.
Once I returned to the sitting room, dad materialized the outfits in front of us again, and an animated discussion about which of them I should choose might have commenced if someone hadn’t joined us at that moment.
From the entrance to the sitting room, Talira asked, “Am I too early for tea?”
“Mom! What are you-?” dad yelped before falling quiet.
I couldn’t blame him for the outburst. My grandmother was usually too busy to visit us in person. Having her here rang an alarm bell in my head.
Meanwhile, my mother strode to her with her arms spread wide.
“It’s good to see you,” she said. “How can we help?”
Brushing past mom, Talira entered the sitting room, and I faintly smiled. For as long as I’d known her, my grandmother had had a sixth sense for when my parents were arguing, one I’d admired since I was a child, and she always expressed her displeasure with their conflicts in the most amusing of ways.
“Like I said, I’m here for tea,” she said.
She gave the room a cursory glance, lingering on the floating outfits.
“Zaeden’s house naming ceremony is tomorrow, yes?” she continued. “I thought we could share snacks and hot drinks in celebration.”
“Wha-?”
Shooting to her feet, Feena did *not* look happy.
“You didn’t do that for my House naming,” she said through gritted teeth.
Folding her arms behind her back, Talira faced us three ‘young ones’.
“If you’ll remember, I was busy with an Ibisian revolt at the time, Feena dear. I’d have visited if I could,” she said. “Zae’s lucky enough to go through this process at a relatively peaceful time. So. Tea?”
Mother Time, why were they giving her so much trouble? Didn’t they remember who she was?
Standing, I dipped my head to her.
“Tea sounds wonderful.”
Since I was unsure what capacity she was here in, I’d left off her title or a name, and from the lift of her eyebrow, I’d say she’d noticed this.
“Maybe we can take it in the garden?” I suggested.
The garden, where I’d have more room to maneuver if needed.
“A wonderful suggestion,” Talira said. “Thank you, grandson.”
So, she was claiming her visit was of a familial nature. I wasn’t sure if I believed her.
As the others bustled out of the room, I watched my grandmother chat with Pheniks. Did she know that I’d overheard one of her private conversations, something that had seemed quite delicate in nature? Was she here to ‘speak’ with me about it, and if so, what would our conversation entail?
As we ambled down hallways toward the garden, I managed to secure the position furthest to the rear, but when we arrived, Talira insisted that I sit beside her, negating my work. I listened to my family’s chatter through a haze, automatically laughing when Feena made a joke while we sat.
With the way Talira had positioned us, I couldn’t easily escape. Had she done that on purpose?
If required, I could get around my parents and sister, but I doubted I could avoid injury to either party while doing it, especially not with former *Lokke Vitras* Talira behind me. Pheniks probably wouldn’t get in my way, unHoused as he was, but if he did, he was no threat to me.
He’d never been a threat.
Once I was inside the apartment, fleeing should be easy enough, and after I’d joined foot traffic on the street, I could make plans from there.
As soon as I knew that my safety was relatively secure, I returned to the conversation, even as I queued a request for my rifle’s formation in my array.
Perhaps thirty seconds had passed. Feena was still glowing from having made us laugh while mom, dad, and Pheniks were relaxed, sipping from steaming teacups or nibbling on finger foods, and Talira…
Talira had eyes only for me, watching me as if I’d become the most fascinating person she’d ever seen. Her eyes were cold enough to make me shiver, but rather than doing that, I gave her a small smile.
As if in response, Talira snorted, slamming her teacup onto the patio table, before bursting into laughter. Considering she never lost control like this, *ever,* we stared at her like she’d gone insane, but she just flapped a hand at us.
“Don’t mind me,” she gasped. “I just got Feena’s joke. Slow, I know.”
Never had I seen so many dubious expressions displayed in a gathering of people before, but my family let their doubt go, returning to stilted conversation. Their tension relaxed at the same rate as my forced plunge into my persona.
Within a few minutes, they were joking and chatting with the distinct addition of myself and Talira this time, and I was acting like the Zaeden they’d always known. I even managed to flick an acorn into Feena’s drink at one point, to her annoyance.
When our cups held only tepid tea and crumbs were littered across the patio table, my parents started glancing Talira’s way, obviously anxious about a possible upset to their schedule, but she didn’t seem to notice their worry, carefully setting her teacup on ceramic tiles.
“I’d like a private word with Zaeden,” she said. “We’ll only be a moment. You can wait for us in the sitting room while we chat.”
My grandmother, I decided, had a unique talent for flipping the mood of a get-together. As my parents stood, their smiles were tight.
Bowing to Talira, they said, “Of course, *shukusen.”*
Feena had left her seat by the time our parents had risen, but Pheniks was still lounging in his.
“I’m tired. Can’t I just take a nap here?” he asked. “I won’t listen to them talking.”
“No,” Feena shortly said.
Dragging our brother to his feet, she pulled him into the apartment with our parents having already disappeared inside.
Which meant I’d soon be facing my grandmother, the head of House Kolb and a former *Lokke Vitras,* all by myself. Great.
***[TTS Chapter Twelve](https://hischosenfuture.com/attachments/60)***
# Chapter 13: Well, That Was Ominous 2
I’d been left alone with House Kolb’s *shukusen,* a situation that should and would have had my stomach roiling half an hour ago, but I’d fully disengaged from my emotions again. Finally.
Was this where she confronted me about eavesdropping on her? If so, what sort of reprimand should I expect, and if it was to be violent, why had she opened an avenue of escape for me by banishing my family?
These questions raced through my head as I bounced on the edge of my seat, affixing what I hoped looked like a dazzling smile onto my face.
“You said you have advice,” I said. “What is it?”
But Talira simply stared at me over her pressed-together fingertips. As my persona dictated, I shifted in place after a while, and my grandmother flinched while air rushed out of her. Slumping, she propped an elbow on the back of her chair while pressing her hand to her forehead.
Hoping to better manipulate the situation, I ratcheted through words to find the best one that would describe her, quickly landing on one.
Defeated. Talira looked defeated.
“I’ve isolated us from all recorders in a one-kilometer radius,” she said. “We’re completely alone. Do you know why I’ve done this?”
Because she wanted to murder me with no witnesses around?
Cocking my head, I drawled, “No?”
“I’ve done it so that you can be honest with me, Zae-zae,” Talira said.
Shit. She hadn’t used that pet name in ages.
“Knowing this, can you promise me that you’ll tell the truth from this point forward?” she continued.
I nodded, and sighing, Talira rubbed her face—
“Ok.”
—before leaning on her knees.
“How long have you been holding this persona?” she asked, inclining her head toward me.
Almost, my emotions broke free of my control. Almost, I leapt to my feet and *ran.* She knew?
No. I couldn’t, *wouldn’t* believe that. Maybe she was trying to provoke something from me right now.
I drew my eyebrows together, carving a confused frown through my cheeks.
“What do you mean?” I asked.
*“Damn,* it’s good,” Talira said. “I’d believe it if not for-”
Rubbing her face again, she dug her fingers into her eye sockets.
“You promised you wouldn’t lie, Zae-zae,” she said. “I know you’ve constructed this persona. After you wrecked his mission in Ostiu, my operative showed me a recording that he’d made while you ‘kidnapped’ him. I know that what you’re presenting me with right now isn’t the real you.”
He’d recorded me. Of course he had. I should have expected him to…
Wait. Had Talira seen the confession that I’d made to Garreth too?
It didn’t matter. If she’d seen what I’d done in House Zan’s Ostium headquarters, then she *knew.* It was surprising how much tension fled from me at this realization.
She didn’t, however, know how much I separated myself from my emotions, so even though I let my persona fall away from me, I didn’t let the wall blocking those pesky things come tumbling down.
Once my persona was gone, I shifted to match Talira’s pose.
“You’re wrong on one count. The persona is me, so far as I can tell,” I said. “Without it, I still enjoy my pranks. I’m still driven to be the best at everything I try. I still enjoy my studies and testing myself against worthy opponents. I still enjoy stories from before Lutov’s founding, stories about our war with those from beyond the stars. It’s all me.
“With it, I merely add more exuberance to what I do, undermine my proficiencies, and display more emotion because I don’t want other people to see who I truly am, who I’ve striven to become. I don’t want to disturb my loved ones with a glimpse of that.”
“And who exactly have you worked to become?” Talira asked.
I paused. Wasn’t that obvious?
“Someone whose loyalty will never be questioned,” I said.
No one could know how much I loathed the Houses.
“Will you tell my family?” I asked.
Talira recoiled from me, wrinkling her nose.
“No. It’s your secret to share,” she said, “although I think that *you* should tell them. They won’t judge you, Zae-zae. Or find you disturbing.”
I gave her nothing in reply, and at that, she sighed. She’d been doing a lot of that. Why?
“Ok, don’t believe me,” she said. “You didn’t answer my first question. When did you build this persona?”
Good. We’d returned to stable territory. I didn’t know why I’d deviated us from it in the first place.
“I was six-years-old,” I said, “which is why I say that the persona is me *so far as I can tell.* Its creation may have killed who I was before.”
Talira, however, seemed stuck on what I’d first said. With her forehead crinkled, she mouthed ‘six-years-old’ to herself.
Shaking her head, she said, “I suppose it makes sense. Your parents switched up your tutors around then, so both you and Pheniks attended early House rotations until they had that situation sorted. It makes sense that you’d have known about the concept of personas at such an early age. But you probably don’t want to talk about that time period.”
I really didn’t. I *hated* having people poke at the years around when I’d made the most significant decision of my life. If they remembered the instability of the persona I’d been forming back then or any other signals that might have pointed to what I’d been doing, it would be another clue leading to the secret that I must always hide. So, I kept my mouth closed, and soon enough, Talira moved on.
“That alone wouldn’t account for what you’re talking about. But! Your logic and intelligence scores have always been far off the charts. Maybe that played a part as well.”
“Logic and intelligence scores?” I asked.
Why hadn’t I heard about those?
When she met my eyes, Talira’s troubled expression melted into a smile. Perhaps she liked seeing something normal from me: curiosity.
“During lesson rotations, the Houses evaluate an unHoused’s ability to learn information, retain it, and apply it to their lives. The children can’t know about this test, or the results might get skewed, and those results are assigned a randomly generated number, one for each unHoused child. The only ones who know which number corresponds to which child are the *shukusenth,* and let me tell you, Zae-Zae. After seeing your results, *all* of the Houses want you to join them,” she said. “Which brings me to the reason I’m here today.”
Finally, we’d get to that. I’d like to know whether I could cancel the request for my rifle, left was hovering in my array.
“Please, don’t be offended by what I’ll next ask,” Talira said. “I’m not trying anything underhanded with the question.”
“All right,” I said, preparing to defend myself all the while.
“Which House will you choose tomorrow?” Talira asked.
And I froze, but not for the reason she might think.
She didn’t know about the confession that I’d made to Garreth or that I’d overheard her conversation with him earlier this week, but then, I should have known that, given that she hadn’t already exiled me.
Also, I didn’t think she’d try to distract me with such a controversial topic before asking about a breach in her security. After seeing me without a persona in place, she had to understand that a tactic like that wouldn’t work. Therefore, she didn’t know that I’d eavesdropped on her. Interesting.
Did that mean Garreth had left the apartment's door cracked? Why would he have done that?
“Zaeden?” Talira said. “I’m sorry if I’ve offended-”
“You haven’t. Not much offends this version of me,” I absently interrupted. “In answer to your question, none. If it were up to me, I’d choose none of the Houses, but since society won’t allow that, I’ll choose Kolb, of course. Your House best suits me, grandmother.”
While I’d spoken, Talira’s face had drained of color, and after I’d finished, she painfully grabbed my knee.
“Don’t,” she said with wild eyes. “Pick any of the other Houses. I doubt it will stop what happens but maybe… maybe…”
She released me, letting me rub where her grip had bitten into my skin, before abruptly standing.
“I shouldn’t have done this,” she said. “Let’s just- let’s find the others.”
I followed her through my family’s apartment, resisting consideration of the questions that would most certainly soon consume me.
My family was waiting in the sitting room that we’d left not an hour ago with the air between them taut as a rubber band, set to snap. My outfit choices were still hanging in front of the couch and its flanking armchairs.
As we entered, Talira chirped, “All done. I think my advice was well received, or at least, I hope it was.”
When she glanced toward me, I eagerly nodded.
“I heard every word of it,” I said.
Talira’s face soured—she knew what I’d meant—but it smoothed out quickly enough that I wondered whether I’d truly seen displeasure there or not.
“Good,” she said. “I need to return to headquarters now, but it was nice to see you all.”
My family gave her halting farewells, and soon after, Talira headed toward the exit, pausing by one of the floating outfits as she did.
The one I liked.
She pierced me with her gaze, and I didn’t know what she saw, but she pinched the outfit’s black cloth, turning pensive.
“This one,” she said. “If he’s going to-”
She choked on her words for a moment before continuing.
“Wear this one, Zae-zae.”
As soon as Talira had swept out of the room, the tension between my family members lessened, but what lay in me did not. I split off a fraction of my focus, and while it dealt with my family’s incessant questions and eventually, our neighbors’ congratulations, I considered what my grandmother had said, rolling it over in my head.
She, as the *shukusen* of Kolb, had encouraged me to join another House. Why? Was danger waiting for me there, besides the obvious? Did she not want me? If so, could I manipulate the resistance she’d raised to my advantage?
Most importantly, though, why the hell had she thrown doubt on my decision on the day before I must voice it?
I surfaced from these questions for a brief time at the memorial after dinner, but once everyone had paid obeisance to the people who’d joined the Collective of humanity’s souls this year, I dove into them once more, seeking a resolution to Talira’s proposal.
I had yet to find one as I crawled into bed, but by that point, I’d decided to shelve my questions. I had to get *some* sleep, after all.
Despite the turmoil she’d thrown me into, I had to thank my grandmother for one thing. I hadn’t paid nearly as much attention to today’s social rigmarole as I normally would have. I was grateful for that, even if what she’d suggested had me tossing and turning for quite a while before I sank into dreams.
I woke up to an alert from my array, but on checking the time, I knew my typical alarm hadn’t roused me. It was a little past midnight, when everyone should be dead asleep, and yet, someone was creeping toward my bed. I tried to figure out who it was, accessing my bedroom’s recorders and requesting an identity check on the intruder, but all I saw was a dark shape slinking toward me, and everything I sent to their array simply bounced off of it.
Maintaining an even breathing rate, I requested my rifle, finding a small amount of comfort in its formation beneath the sheets, and waited for the intruder to approach. I couldn’t know if they were hostile yet, and I wouldn’t shoot an innocent person.
As the intruder came closer, though, I let my rifle dissipate, resisting the urge to click my tongue. When she reached my bedside, my sister shook me, and I rolled over as if just now waking up.
“Feena?” I said after a moment. “It’s the middle of the night.”
Her teeth gleamed in my bedroom’s low light.
“I know,” she said. “Get dressed. We have somewhere to be.”
We had what now?
Biting my tongue to keep from sighing, I rolled out of bed. This ought to be good.
***[TTS Chapter Thirteen](https://hischosenfuture.com/attachments/61)***
# Chapter 14: Rituals Are Dumb
As I got dressed, I considered how best to ask the question on my mind. In the end, I decided to just say it.
“What the fuck, Feena?” I growled. “This couldn’t wait until morning?”
Her soft laughter floated in the air between us.
“Nope.”
The pop on that ‘P’ was like fireworks bursting in my room, an old-fashioned source of entertainment recreated in close confines.
“Fine,” I snapped. “I’m dressed. Let’s go.”
At the door, Feena twisted to rest her palm on my chest.
“Quietly now,” she said. “You mustn’t wake mom and dad.”
*“I* mustn’t?”
Feena slipped into the hallway without acknowledging my protest. We slunk through the apartment with not even the whisper of our clothes against our skin coming from us.
When thinking about what my sister had said, I realized that she probably didn’t know how often I’d snuck out of our home in the past. Granted, I’d mostly done that at the family estate on Lutov’s northern coast, but I’d gone out on the town, unnoticed, here too.
Some of the times I’d stolen away from home had been for homework assignments, and others had been to meet with partners, but most of the time, I’d done it just for practice. Obviously, I’d made a few of those forays so that I could better blend with House Kolb members when the time came, but as I’d told my grandmother earlier, I’d always had a compulsion to be the best in everything I tried, no matter how ridiculous that might seem.
I didn’t know if I was the best sneak in Lutov, but I was certainly better at it than Feena. Not that I’d tell her that, especially when she was proficient enough as it was.
When we passed Pheniks’ door, I sent my sister a message, asking if we should include him in whatever we were doing. What she sent back was, predictably, mysterious.
*His time will come,* it read.
I rolled my eyes. So dramatic.
Once we were on the street, Feena led me along, refusing to say a word, but I reflected that silent treatment right back at her. If she wanted to wake me up in the middle of the night, hours before my House naming, she could take all social responsibility during…
What was this? A hazing? A family tradition? I wasn’t sure yet.
We stopped on a platform close to the apartment, where our tier skirted a tower, and Feena pointed at a nearby tree, at least four times my height, that was standing between us and a sheer, glass wall.
“Mag hooks are in a pack, hidden in those branches,” she said. “Let’s see if you can reach the top of this tower more quickly than me.”
For a moment, I just blinked at my sister.
*“What?”* I eventually snapped. “Why would I do something…?”
Feena grinned at me in a self-satisfied manner, and I threw my hands over my head.
“Fine. I could never resist a challenge like this. Well played,” I said. “Still. What you’re asking for…”
Running my eyes up the tower’s length, I requested a height estimate, and when I read what my array returned, I winced.
“Unless a shit ton of mag hooks are in that tree, reaching the top will take hours,” I said. “I’ll have to calculate the locations of optimal attraction points to conserve the hooks’ power, not to mention finding paths that’ll keep me out of wind drag and- and-”
“Yup,” Feena said, *“and* I’ve done this a few times before.”
Meaning she already knew which points and paths would get her up the tower fastest. Hell. I’d never reach the top first unless…
Wait a minute.
Somehow, I kept a smirk off of my face as I glared at Feena.
“Why?” I asked. “What’s the point of this?”
“I’ll tell you at the top.”
Sticking her tongue out at me, Feena raced for the tower, scooping a previously unseen pack from behind a bush on the way. I watched her go for a few seconds before striding to the tree.
Climbing it and finding my provided tools gave me no trouble, which was one reason why I’d taken the time to retrieve them. I’d also never been one to discard something useful, and the idea of leaving evidence like this behind made me cringe.
Dropping to the grass, I headed for a wall that reflected Xygek’s brilliance, but rather than using my bag’s mag hooks to pull me up its side, I circled it until I found a door, which… was locked.
That was strange. Places like this were usually open to the public at all hours of the day and night. Had Feena expected me to try this?
No matter. Its security processes were moderately difficult to bypass, but still, the task didn’t take me too long. Soon enough, the doors slid open, and once I was inside, I made a brief stop at a convenience store before heading for the tower’s lifts.
I was halfway through a bag of peanuts by the time Feena reached the top. Throwing a leg over the safety railing, she scanned her surroundings with a faint smile flashing across her face when she saw me. Trotting my way, she slid down the wall that I was sitting against, and when she lifted a hand, palm up, in front of me, I set another bag in it.
“Peanuts. Nice choice,” she said. “Good for energy.”
I hummed my agreement, and together, we finished our snack.
“Did you take a lift?” she asked once we were done.
“That depends,” I said. “If I say yes, will you lecture me about breaking the rules?’
Snorting, Feena said, “Hardly. I’d praise you for taking the most logical and efficient route to reach your goal.”
“Then, yes. I did,” I said. “Why are we here, Feena?”
“I actually don’t know,” she said.
When I scowled at her, she chuckled.
“I don’t,” she repeated. “It’s a tradition that the family has been passing down for centuries. The last of us to go through a House naming takes the next one to this tower on the night before their ceremony. Personally, I think it’s our way of reminding the unHoused that while House may come before family, your family is important too. When you need us, we’ll be there for you, and nothing can stop us from helping you.”
“Except for House,” I muttered.
Feena grinned like I’d said something profound, and I was mildly tempted to point out how she’d missed the derisiveness in my words.
“Except for House,” she agreed.
Jumping to her feet, Feena brushed off her hands before offering one to me. Once she’d hauled me to my feet, I followed her to the roof’s edge, where she pulled two bundles out of her pack, handing me one.
“You’ll need this,” she said.
As I examined what I was holding, my lips twitched.
“Are we flying down?” I asked.
“Just put it on,” Feena said.
Making a face at her, I placed a thin, metal spiderweb against the back of my hand before activating it, and the frame of a Propulsion Initiation Gear, or P.I.G. for short, unfolded around my body. The device stiffened while a host of new processes flooded into my array, and after it had filtered through this new data, I requested full-body motion from the P.I.G., banishing my body’s unnatural stiffness.
Even with that, I felt heavier. The frame used a portion of its power to float a micrometer above my skin, but it was still a ton of metal added to my frame.
I also requested that the P.I.G. project its controls into my array, and once that was done, a glowing ball rested under each of my hands. After a quick test, I got myself into a stable hover before dropping to the floor once more.
“All a go,” I said.
Feena raised a hand, giving me nothing else in acknowledgment, and in a display of excessive rudeness, I swiped my thumb down the back of my neck, making her laugh.
“Come on, asshole,” she said while climbing over the safety railing.
Perching on it, we stared at Xygek and our small portion of its air traffic, laid out like a grid, and I ignored the panic climbing up my throat. Mother Time, I hated heights.
“When you did this, did you take the lift?” I asked, trying to distract myself.
I caught her nod from the corner of my eye.
“But I depleted half of my mag hooks first,” Feena said. “Dad beat me to the top.”
Unsure what to say, I kept my mouth closed, and after a moment, my sister turned to me with a sober expression in place, laying a hand on my back.
“I think that if you let yourself, you could be one of the greatest House Kolb members Lutov’s ever seen,” she said, “and even if you don’t choose Kolb tomorrow, you’ll be excellent in whatever you do. You have a light inside of you, Zae. As the Ostiums would say, ‘the spark of your soul outshines everyone around you’, but you’ve always smothered it, doing it so well that I forget it exists most of the time. I wish you wouldn’t. You were born for more than a mediocre existence. Use your light to guide Lutov into the future.”
Oh… fuck. My emotions railed against the wall that I’d raised between me and them, and I didn’t realize some had broken through until a tear rolled down my cheek.
“Feena,” I said with my voice choked. “I-”
I wasn’t sure what warned me. All I knew was that the pressure on my back suddenly increased, and I twisted in the second before my sister finished shoving me. I snatched her rapidly diminishing wrist, and with a jerk, she toppled off of the safety railing, leaving both of us hurtling toward the ground.
Feena’s joyous laughter rose above the howling wind while she pulled me to her, and her lips brushed my ear when she spoke.
“I love you more than I can say, little brother. Now, follow me.”
She pushed us apart, and while I twirled to face the ground, she nosedived, pulling ahead with the propulsors on the soles of her shoes flaring. In the time it took my P.I.G. to respond to my commands, she became an almost unrecognizable splotch, but once I could, I dropped after her at reckless speeds, laughing.
I was laughing. At this height. For no reason. With no one to see my performance.
This realization didn’t stop it from happening. As I zipped and dodged through air traffic, my body shook with it, and something wild and uncontained churned through me while my array warned me of elevated dopamine levels.
I batted the alert aside, darting like an Ostium Operair through zooming vehicles, reacting to my array’s every last-second calculation, riding a high I hadn’t felt in ages.
Chasing my sister through the sky.
She took us to a large park on ground level, a sprawl of greenery that was impossible to achieve on the tiers above us. When I made my landing, I stumbled, whirling my arms to fight my body’s wobble.
Glancing up from removing her P.I.G., Feena said, “Regulate your hormones, Zae.”
“I know, I know,” I said. “Just… give me a second.”
As I followed Feena’s example, making metal fold toward my hands, I filtered dopamine out of my bloodstream, and the silliness that had lifted my heart while I’d been in the air dissipated. I gave my sister my P.I.G. before dropping into the grass.
Except for during extreme situations like a translator insertion procedure, I… disliked regulating my hormones. I understood why it was a vital practice for a House Kolb member. It provided an easy way to control one’s emotions, but usually, I didn’t need that help, and when hormones were regulated or outright removed from the body, it created as many adverse side effects as it did positive ones.
Take, for instance, my body’s craving for what I’d stolen from it with a drop into depression looming because of that. Even if shrugging off these side effects was easy for me, I didn’t like that I had to do it.
Feena plopped into the grass nearby, touching the tops of our heads together.
“Congratulations,” she said. “No matter what happens tomorrow, remember tonight. Remember that your family loves you.”
“Remember that my family’s insane?” I asked, folding my hands on my stomach.
Chuckling, Feena said, “That too.”
She seemed content to lie here in silence, so I let my attention wander across another view of Xygek, this time from below. I soaked in the lights that illuminated each tier’s walkways and the shadowed chunks of towers between them.
Picking out sporadic parks, mixed in with glass and metal, I wondered how we’d landed in a part of the city that had few flying vehicles clogging its airspace. Without them, the night sky loomed large with a significant patch of black showing between the towers, and frowning, I had my array focus on what lay beyond Xygek’s many lights, filtering them out.
There they were. Sparkling diamonds scattered across the void. Stars that might or might not have habitable planets circling them.
“Why do you suppose our ancestors stopped researching space travel all those centuries ago?” I said.
“That’s…”
Rising to an elbow, Feena looked down on me.
“Why are you asking?”
Shrugging, I said, “A passing thought. I think about it when listening to narrations about our war with those from beyond the stars. During it, our ancestors must have investigated space while looking for a way to defeat their enemy. Why abandon all of that research after they won? Think about it, Feena. We reach for such great heights in every other field, and yet, we’ve never left this planet.”
“If you’ve listened to narrations about Lutov’s oldest foe, then you know why we haven’t,” Feena said. “The last time we tried space travel, those from beyond the stars nearly wiped us out. It’s no wonder our ancestors gave up on studying them. Similarly, they stopped all research about space. We don’t want to piss those alien beings off again, do we?”
“I know,” I said with a sigh. “Doesn’t make me stop wondering, though.”
Sometimes, I couldn’t help but wish that I could leave this planet, Lutov, and its rigid society. Sometimes, I couldn’t help but want to reach toward the stars.
“Maybe keep those thoughts to yourself, silly,” Feena said. “It could get you in trouble.”
Flicking my nose, she settled into the grass again.
“Try to relax, Zae. Once we’ve rested a bit, we’ll go home.”
Home, where I’d have to compensate for the sleep that I’d lost while on this jaunt.
Still, I did as Feena had said. Relaxing every muscle, I let my thoughts wander, and before I knew it, I'd fallen asleep in the middle of a public park, *the* safest place I could possibly be.
***[TTS Chapter Fourteen](https://hischosenfuture.com/attachments/62)***
# Chapter 15: The Dreaded Ceremony
A waking state came to me slowly with a gradual diminishment of vivid dreams leaving me blinking at a cloudy sky, framed by towers. Why could I see the sky-?
Last night’s activities popped into my head, and I shot upright, frantically taking in the park around me. Rather pretty with its arranged flower beds and squat sculptures, it was mostly deserted with only a handful of guests present, all of whom were studiously avoiding me.
Had Feena left me here? I might have been…
What? Robbed, like what might have happened in Ibis? Why would anyone steal from me when the Houses provided for us all?
The Houses. Oh, shit.
When I called up the time, a message sprang into view.
*Payback for all the pranks over the years,* it read. *You’d better hurry. Good luck.*
Growling, I closed the message, and when I saw the time, my stomach bottomed out. Leaping to my feet, I requested a map of Xygek as well as directions to Acceptance Arena, more commonly known as the Crescent. Both items splashed into my array, and I nearly screamed out loud.
Twelve kilometers in half an hour with no shuttle routes between here and there? I’d be late for my own damn House naming!
I was going to *kill* Feena.
As I took off in a headlong sprint, I was grateful that no people were blocking my path. No matter how futile it might seem, I had to try reaching my destination before the proceedings started.
As soon as I stepped from grass to concrete, though, my easy passage ended. Mornings were busy in Xygek. At this time, people were always in a rush to complete House business or personal chores, and while the sun might have risen hours ago, heavy traffic’s chaos had yet to relent.
Which meant every sidewalk would be crowded all to hell.
“Fuck it."
Darting through a cluster of people, I emerged onto the street, a span of asphalt that one only found on ground level, and was almost squashed by a transport.
Jerking away from it at the last second, I ignored the shocked cries rising behind me, swiping at the hands trying to grab my clothes, before hauling ass after the transport that had nearly killed me. I’d never catch up to it, but I needed to gain speed for the next part.
A steady drone of displaced air rose from behind me, and I pulled to one side of the road as another transport zoomed into view. Given how quickly it was moving, I was amazed that I managed to grab a hatch’s handle.
On doing so, however, fire roared from my shoulder, adding to the transport’s noise in my head, but thankfully, my arm dislocated, preventing it from getting ripped off of my body. By a stroke of luck, I gained a second grip before the first one failed, leaving my arm dangling like dead weight, and wasn’t that just fabulous? Until someone helped with setting it or I found the time to do it myself, this injury wouldn’t heal. I was stuck with these sparks in my vision.
Hanging off the transport, I queried for my ride’s route to distract myself. The transport I’d chosen wouldn’t pass as close to my goal as I might like, but if I was lucky, this maneuver would get me to the Crescent on time.
On the ten-minute commute to my exit point, I glanced through stored message with many a wince, distancing myself from how badly I wanted to hug my shoulder. My parents had sent me at least a dozen messages asking where I was, to which I belatedly replied that I was on my way. To the hundreds of generic congratulations I’d received, I sent thanks. Pheniks had been silent this morning, which was typical for him, but I sent him a message, asking for his help, and Feena… my sister got two words.
*Fuck you.*
My exit point was quickly approaching, and while I prepared my array to assist with my landing, I cursed under my breath. Leaning around the transport’s edge, I marked my desired landing place, and after a second, my array provided me with the best trajectory to avoid permanent harm.
It would still hurt like hell when I arrived.
As I came closer to the point, I leapt off the transport, curling around my vitals, and on hitting concrete, I let momentum roll me along while people jumped out of my way. When I came to a stop, I gradually straightened. My vision turned white from each pull against angry road rashes, and after a quick glance at an alert that listed the damage I’d sustained, I closed it. These wounds should heal before I reached the Crescent.
People had crowded around me, exclaiming as they tried to help, but I shook them off.
“I want to join the Collective,” I shouted at the top of my lungs.
Just like that, the people who’d been offering me aid returned to their business. If someone wanted to die in Lutov, no one would resist that decision, not here where death was so rare, where it had become sacred. So, I left the site of my touchdown in a hobbling run without a word spoken to me.
Soon enough, my peeled skin had been minimally repaired, allowing a return to a full-on sprint, and for a while, that was all I knew. The rush of air through my lungs. The push of energy to my legs. The burn in them and everywhere else. Distantly, I was aware of shouting for people to get out of my way, but it was buried at the back of my mind.
When the Crescent came into view, I checked the time, flinging forth a halting giggle on seeing that I had five minutes to spare. Even still, this lucky break didn’t slow me down, and I started undoing my shirt’s buttons, shrugging it off once I was finished.
Pheniks was waiting for me beside a door with a bundle in his hands, and when he saw me, he scrunched his face up. Returning to a walk, I blotted sweat off of my face and chest with my wadded-up shirt, shunting as much oxygen as I could to starved muscles.
“You’ve got it?” I asked, nodding to the bundle.
“Yes,” Pheniks said. “Zae, are you-?”
“Can you help me with this?” I interrupted.
I showed him my shoulder, where pooled blood had spread from the injured joint, and Pheniks winced.
“Sure,” he said.
Placing his burden on the stone steps, he went through a process that we’d completed far too many times before. Once my shoulder was back in place, it freed my focus from blocking pain, and I blessed Mother Time that I’d had help with setting the joint this time.
“Thanks,” I gasped.
“No problem,” Pheniks said. “You’d have done the same- Whoa! What are you doing?”
I frowned at him, noting him shielding his face with his hands, before pulling my slacks the rest of the way off. Again, I sponged sweat off of my skin.
“Changing clothes?” I said.
Why was he so flustered? I had to wear the outfit that we’d chosen for today’s ceremony, and not much time remained before it started.
“Here?” Pheniks spluttered. “In public?”
Oh. Modesty.
Sighing, I snatched the bundle, left on the steps, to my chest.
“Would you rather I be late?” I asked.
“No!” Pheniks exclaimed. “I’d never! I-”
With my clothes mostly on, I pulled my brother to me.
“It’s ok,” I said. “You saved my ass. I owe you one.”
Pushing me away, Pheniks snapped, “No, you don’t. We’re brothers. This is the least I can do for you.”
He critically glanced over me while I finished with buttons and clasps, wiping my cheek and smoothing my hair down.
“As usual, you look fantastic, you lucky bastard,” Pheniks said. “Now, get in there, and good luck.”
Clapping his shoulder, I smiled before hurrying into Acceptance Arena.
As far as layout and styling went, this place was fairly simple, which I’d always thought was strange, considering its importance in Lutovish society. Built in the shape of a crescent, it had two layers: the outer one for lobby activities and the inner for House naming ceremonies as well as other social events.
Both ends of this crescent were blocked off for maintenance and service equipment while an underground passage connected the two. All that set the Crescent apart from Xygek’s other buildings was its single story and its composition from stone rather than glass.
My footsteps echoed in the outer layer as I raced across its empty width. A single, beefy man was waiting beside the closest doorway, presumably standing guard so no one could disturb the unHoused and their families during this most revered of ceremonies. He arched an eyebrow as I approached.
“Name?”
“Zaeden,” I said. “Look, I’m going to be late. Can we-?”
“You seat assignment,” the man interrupted.
A message with an image attached popped into my array, and when he held the door open for me, I licked my lips before bowing to him.
Mother Time, the silence that fell as I slunk into the cavernous space beyond! It tried to crush me into atoms, but despite it, I held my head high, rushing across mosaiced marble.
People, from the stands and from fold-out chairs in the center, stared at me, whether due to my tardiness or the strangeness of what I was wearing, I couldn’t say, but I made the long journey to my seat like it was another performance with a smile in place and a swagger in my stride. As I folded into my assigned chair, I beamed at the people on either side of me before crossing my legs and placing my clasped hand atop my raised knee.
Only as people moved their attention elsewhere did this morning’s proceedings crash in on me.
I was about to choose a House, pledging my lifelong loyalty to it. I was about to lose my status as an unHoused because my physical age had determined that I was ready for it.
I was about to lose my freedom.
Before this thought could deconstruct the wall between me and panic, a detail that I’d missed up to this point crawled into the forefront of my mind, and it halted my churning thoughts. Numb, I sent a message.
*Was your ‘prank’ this morning meant to distract me?*
I received a reply within seconds, as if my sister had had it pre-composed.
*Yes, of course,* it read. *Mother Time, Zae. I didn’t mean to make you late. You’re usually up at the crack of dawn.*
Oh. Oh, Feena.
*Everything worked out in the end,* I sent. *Thank you for what you did.*
I loved my siblings, Feena and Pheniks both. The risks they’d take to help me. The lengths I’d go to for them. May we ever remain as such, a trio united against the world not merely by blood but also choice.
The ceremony’s proceedings passed quickly. I hardly paid attention to the speeches made at the beginning, giving vague recognition to the unHoused who mounted the dais before me. Rather than this, a question that I’d thought answered years ago, the one my grandmother had reawakened yesterday, rattled in my head.
Which House should I choose?
Only six people came before my turn on the stage with another nine to follow. House Drav truly was restricting population growth at the moment.
All this meant, however, was that someone called my name long before I was ready for it.
Gliding to the dais, I quickly climbed its steps, letting the pleasant glow of holding so many people’s attention quell what was rising inside. The Houses’ *shukusenth* were sitting in ornate chairs along the back of the dais while a person randomly chosen from the Lutovish populace stood in front of them.
When I stopped at her side, she gave me a gentle smile.
“Zaeden, it’s time for you to choose how you will aid the homeland,” she said. “Approach the representative of the House in which you will best serve and become a citizen of Lutov.”
As prescribed, I turned to the row of *shukusenth* with a dry mouth, but all I could think about was how badly I didn’t want to choose. How badly I didn’t want to relinquish my freedom, such as it were.
Mom had been right, all those weeks ago. Standing here with the most important decision of my life in front of me, I knew exactly what I wanted to say.
But I couldn’t.
The words ‘no House’ hovered on my tongue with everything in me aching to let them loose, but in my mind’s eye, I saw what would happen if I let myself be so selfish.
I’d become an outcast, forced to fend for my survival. I’d be condemned to a truncated lifespan with less than a century mine to claim. I’d never see my family again, never secretly enjoy my parents’ passionate reconciliations, never listen with half an ear while Pheniks rambled about his experiments, never know that Feena would catch me when I inevitably screwed up.
But I would be free.
The *shukusenth* were staring at me with frowns in place while Talira shifted in her seat, and I realized that I was taking too long.
Steeling myself, I prepared to speak my intention before striding to my grandmother. I opened my mouth, and something that was wholly me and yet, utterly foreign seized control of my tongue.
“No-” I started.
A door slammed open with the noise of it cracking over the gathered crowd. They spun in their seats with twisted features, but after viewing the source of this interruption, that indignation transformed into either fear or awe, but in everyone, profound respect sprang forth.
Watching our newest guest stride toward the dais, I understood their reactions.
Everyone in Lutov knew those features: the black hair curling to his cheeks in waves; the piercing, brown eyes, leeched of pigment until they looked gray; the sharp cheekbones and lanky form. And of course, there was his signature look with nothing but black allowed to touch his skin. Everyone knew the way he commanded a room’s attention when he wanted it, the way he moved as if every flex of his muscles was beneath his notice.
Everyone in Lutov knew House Kolb’s First Stratus. Everyone knew the *Lokke Vitras.*
In the Crescent’s dead silence, he made no noise, drifting like a beautiful ghost through its stone stands and plastic chairs until he stopped in front of the dais. Unable to move or think, I blinked as he lifted his magnetic gaze to me, cocking his head. We stared at one another for an instant or an eternity. I couldn’t tell which it was.
And all the while, shrieking alarms blared at the back of my mind.
“Come with me,” the *Lokke Vitras* said.
Spinning, he marched out of the Crescents’ inner layer, and it was as if a tether had attached my heart to the small of his back. Leaping off the dais, I loped after him while a part of me wondered what was happening.
A far repressed part already understood.
***[TTS Chapter Fifteen](https://hischosenfuture.com/attachments/63)***
# Chapter 16: Can I Not?
Once we were in the outer layer, the *Lokke Vitras* angled us toward one end of it, moving into an office behind its wall. One that belonged to this place’s manager, I thought.
When he stepped inside, he never checked whether I’d followed him, and I was so distracted by what was happening that the door almost banged into my healing shoulder as it shut. After it had clicked behind me, I glanced around, taking in the room’s desk and leather chairs.
That inspection only lasted for a heartbeat before I was drawn back to a wraith in black, stopped in front of its windows with his hands clasped behind his back.
Unsure what he wanted from me, I stepped away from the door, clearing an avenue of escape for me, and prepared myself, not that I expected a fight to start or that I’d stand a chance against *him* if one did. He said nothing, a perfect statue for several minutes, while I ignored the messages that were piling into my array.
I didn’t like this. Why was he here, at a simple House naming ceremony? The only other times something like this had happened, the *Lokke Vitras* at the time had been looking for…
But no. That was impossible. Please, Mother Time, let me be wrong.
“You’re drumming a finger on your thigh,” the *Lokke Vitras* said. “It’s a terrible, nervous habit for an operative to form.”
Startled, I paused to assess what he’d said, and he was right. I was tapping my leg. The offending finger was stilled.
“Forgive me, but why am I here?” I forced myself to ask.
Please, say he wouldn’t take offense to my point-blank question.
“Sacrifice self. House before family. Lutov over all,” he said. “Our people take one piece of this maxim and make it theirs, forgetting the rest, but they can afford to do so. I cannot.”
For a moment, I thought he’d say nothing more, but eventually, he turned away from the window, bringing his hands in front of him, while those alluring gray eyes peered at me.
“If I hadn’t interrupted your House naming,” he said, “what would you have said?”
Was he asking which House I’d have chosen? Would he punish me for my intention to say none? How had he known what I’d meant to say when even I hadn’t?
With his lips twitching, the *Lokke Vitras* said, “You’re not in trouble, Zaeden. I’m asking because I’m… curious.”
Could someone like him get curious?
Still, I had no choice but to answer. The *Lokke Vitras* had complete authority when it came to keeping Lutov safe. I didn’t see how one unHoused could threaten that, but I answered anyway.
“I’d have said no House…”
What was the proper term of address for the *Lokke Vitras?* He didn’t seem to mind my lack of respect, nodding as if in understanding.
“That’s what I thought, which is why I stepped in when I did. You’d have been making a mistake. This is a little earlier than I’d have liked but…” he said before gesturing to the chairs. “You may take a seat if you want.”
And relinquish this feeble advantage that I had on him? No, thank you.
“I’m more comfortable on my feet,” I said.
Again, those lips twitched, and I frowned. Where had I seen that before?
Circling a chair, the *Lokke Vitras* folded into it before spreading his arms.
“And now?” he asked.
Did he know why I’d rather ignore his suggestion?
“I would prefer to stand,” I said.
And again, with that twitch. Why was it so familiar?
Slowly, the *Lokke Vitras* plucked blades and other weapons off of his body, making a pile of them at his feet.
“What about now?” he asked.
He *did* know why I’d rather stay on my feet.
Sighing, I crossed my arms.
“I’m sorry, but unless you order it, I won’t give you an advantage on me,” I said. “I’m well aware that you could kill me, even now, but I have to give myself every chance of escaping you regardless.”
The twitch of his lips bloomed into a faint smile, and I knew why seeing it had sent a pang of recognition through me. Rather than relief at a mystery solved, however, this knowledge created a layer of front along my insides.
“All right, then,” he said. “Zaeden, as House Kolb’s First Stratus, I command you to sit with me.”
I could swear I’d become a wooden doll. My joints creaked as I unfolded from my hunched state, took the four steps needed to reach my relegated chair, and lowered myself into it. When I clenched my hands in my lap, my knuckles turned white.
“Garreth,” I said.
Finally, I prompted a true reaction. The *Lokke Vitras* leaned on his chair’s arm, lifting an eyebrow. He said nothing, but then, I didn’t need him to.
“Is that even your name?” I asked.
“I am the *Lokke Vitras,”* he said. “I have no name.”
My fear had escaped from its cage, trying to consume me, and it took everything I had to keep from shouting its existence at him while turning his way.
“Why did you let me kidnap you?” I asked.
Knowing what I did now, I was under no illusion that the situation in Ostiu had ever been under my control.
“I found the situation amusing. No one’s tried something so audacious with me in ages,” the *Lokke Vitras* said. “Plus, I wanted to test your skills. I saw you in the stacks where we met. You were scanning it for weaknesses, and that was your first reaction to the place, not the wide-eyed wonder that most people exhibit. After that, I had to know how qualified you were.”
He’d been testing me. At the thought, something flared in my gut.
“And?” I said, barely keeping myself from snapping at him.
His smile became a sardonic grin, and at the sight of it, my insides both melted and coiled on themselves.
“And you did well,” he said. “Better than expected, actually.”
“So, you told my grandmother everything that happened,” I said.
Why did I sound like I was a hairsbreadth from strangling him? That was *not* the way I should address the dangerous as hell man in front of me.
“Mother Time, I should have known you’d make a recording of it,” I continued. “I exposed myself to you, unearthing my deepest desire. The one that could get me exiled or worse. That I hold no loyalty-”
“I never shared our conversation in the transport with Talira,” the *Lokke Vitras* said, “which is fortunate because after I showed the other memories to her, she had me eliminate them in my array. I’d have hated to lose them all.”
Wait. She’d done *what?*
A person’s array was intertwined with their brain. Was the *Lokke Vitras* expected to sacrifice something so inherent to who they were for Lutov’s security? How could my grandmother equate my safety with another person’s loss of memory? And why had he said his failure to share everything had been fortunate for him?
An image of me, projected about the *Lokke Vitras’* lifted palm interrupted my contemplation. Sitting in a transport’s typical harness with clouds swiftly passing behind me, I looked cold with my rifle resting on my knee. I’d never seen myself without a persona attached, and observing it now, I shivered.
Then, the recorded version of me spoke.
“I see the House system as necessary,” I said in an empty voice. “How else could Lutov function as one civilization instead of endless, squabbling factions? Its necessity doesn’t mean I have to like it, though. It doesn’t mean I can’t wish for more. It doesn’t mean I want to surrender my freedom.”
The image winked out while the hand projecting it lowered, and the *Lokke Vitras* watched me, waiting to see how I’d react.
“Do you mean to blackmail me?” I asked, as if inquiring about the weather.
He chuckled under his breath.
“Hardly. I found what you said… interesting,” he said. “I didn’t tell Talira about it so I could keep a copy for myself.”
Why would he want a recording of me? Or better question…
“What do you want with me?” I asked.
Tilting his head to the side, the *Lokke Vitras* looked at me like I was an ignorant child.
“Don’t you know?” he asked.
I… did. It was what I’d been afraid of.
Swallowing the lump in my throat, I looked away from him.
“Do I get a choice?” I whispered.
His silence was answer enough. Despair pounded against its barrier, but I managed to restrain it, which meant that my voices emerged just as dead as before.
“Is freedom real?” I asked. “Or is it something that we’ve created to resist our lack of choice?”
I didn’t expect a response. Why would the *Lokke Vitras* have considered this topic, after all? So, when he spoke, it pulled me out of a fall into hopelessness.
“Freedom is a lie,” he said. “Even if you could escape from the Houses, Zaeden, you’d be a slave to your family’s needs and expectations, and if you escaped from them, you would enslave yourself with your decisions, made only to satisfy your body’s needs and your subconscious. This, however, isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Living for a purpose, like the safety of the nation, can be quite fulfilling.”
He couldn’t know how systematically he’d crushed my hopes and dream. I was left with nothing to strive for, no goal that I might someday achieve, so I latched onto the next best thing: someone else’s purpose for me.
Jerking toward the *Lokke Vitras,* I snapped, “You want me to be your replacement?”
For the briefest moment, a flicker of surprise sprang to life in him.
“Yes,” he said, keeping his voice carefully controlled.
Shooting to my feet, I looked down on him.
“Then, let’s get started,” I said. “Train me to be the next *Lokke Vitras.”*
***[TTS Chapter Sixteen](https://hischosenfuture.com/attachments/64)***
# Addendum
I imagine that you found this part of my story predictable and somewhat annoying, Elliot, but it’s necessary for you to understand what motivates me further along.
Looking back on it now, I can say without a doubt that I was a whiny brat. We’ve all, however, been young at one point or another. Don’t worry. I’ll grow out of it.
Hearing about Pheniks as anything but a monster probably bothered you as well, but everyone comes from somewhere. My brother wasn’t always a mass murderer. He became that person over decades, in small part because of me, and I’ve never forgiven myself for it.
But enough of self-deprecation and regret. We should continue with the story.
You’ll find a gap between the last chapter and what follows. After I accepted my new position, several years of training began, and nothing of significance occurred during them except…
Well, you’ll see.
The next part is about the first upheaval in my life as the *Lokke Vitras* to come. I’ll warn you, Elliot. You’ll find at least one part of the next few hours horrific. Just remember, my love, that the man you’re hearing about in this story isn’t me.
Not yet.
***[TTS Addendum](https://hischosenfuture.com/attachments/112)***
# Chapter 17: What the Hell Am I?
The face of the man shouting at me had been red for a solid five minutes now, and I was beginning to worry about his blood pressure. Should I get him to a hospital?
Also, why wasn’t he regulating his hormones? I’d heard House Kolb members were good at that.
When he took a breath, I swooped into my opening.
“I’m sorry, but unless you have an override from your *shukusen,* advanced technology of any kind, weapons most especially, isn’t allowed in Ibis,” I said. “Shouldn’t you know that?”
The man’s mouth flapped open, which gave me more satisfaction than I cared to admit.
“I want to talk to your superior,” he snapped.
Of course he did.
“You’re welcome to it. I’ve sent you directions to her office,” I said, “but unless I hear otherwise from her, these items will stay in the Travel Center until you’ve finished your visit in Ibis.”
I waved a hand over a counter-top, covered in grenades of some sort as well as a host of other weaponry that I couldn’t hope to identify.
“Fine,” the man growled through tight lips.
Turning on his heel, he marched out of the inspection room, and I clicked my tongue. Members of House Kolb were the worst, arrogant snots who believed they were above the rules. Dealing with them always gave me a headache.
Piling the confiscated weapons in my arms, I hurried to deposit them in a lockup. They’d wait there until their owner got his irritating self back to Lutov, where he belonged.
Ibis was Vaessa’s realm. The other Houses could keep the homeland. Mine would rule here, where we had *bakava* aplenty to serve our needs.
Once I’d finished with my final task of the night, I headed for my assigned lockbox. After I’d retrieved my things, I’d go home, there to spend a few hours watching a holodrama before bed. A perfect night to round out an awful day.
“Clarx!” someone shouted behind me.
Glancing over my shoulder, I waited until the woman who’d called for me caught up.
“Good evening, Sixth Stratus,” I said.
Rolling her eyes, Keaya said, “Mother Time, Clarx. Always so reserved. You need more fun in your life.”
Withholding from frowning at her, I resumed my trek with my hands held behind my back.
“Perhaps,” I said. “Do you need something, Keaya?”
Hopefully, she’d only want to exchange a few pleasantries before we parted ways. I couldn’t deal with her and the drama that inevitably accompanied her tonight, but of course, she refused to leave well enough alone, poking my shoulder instead.
“I told you call me Kea,” she said.
“Fine. Do you need something, *Kea?”*
Pulling in front of me, Keaya stopped short, forcing me to halt as well.
Tapping her lips, she said, “You’re even more uptight than usual, which is a minor miracle. What’s got you so bent out of shape?”
For a moment, I considered lying to her, hoping to get her out of my way, but how could telling her the truth hurt me? It would probably save me time in the long run.
“My last arrival of the day was a Second Stratus House Kolb member,” I said.
“Oh.”
Her face went sour while her lips shriveled.
“No wonder you’re so grumpy,” she said. “I hate those assholes.”
“I couldn’t agree more,” I said.
Stepping around her, I forced her to pick up the pace if she wanted to stay by my side, and it appeared that she did, more was the pity.
Keaya was wonderful on most days, but like she’d said, I wasn’t in the greatest of moods. I didn’t want to deal with the numerous conundrums that she forced me to confront about my life, not when a simple evening at home was calling my name.
“How shall we get you relaxed?” Keaya said, as if to herself.
After a moment, she nodded once, taking my hand to drag me after her.
“Kea! What are you-?”
My protests made a babbling echo in the hall until she turned us into a supply closet, meant for the *bakava’s* use. When we burst inside, one of them, a male, was inside, frozen in place with cleaning supplies in its hand.
“Out,” Keaya barked.
The *bakava* hesitantly edged toward the door, keeping its wide eyes fixed on us.
“NOW!” Keaya roared.
Her displeasure banished its caution. It tripped over itself to escape us, and once the door had slid closed behind the *bakava,* its locks thunked into the ceiling and floor.
Over Keaya’s head, I eyed the closet’s small confines, more than a little lost as to why she’d hauled me in here.
“What are we doing here, Kea?” I asked.
Spinning to me, Keaya rested one hand on her hip.
“Isn’t it obvious? We’re following a classic trope,” she said. “You’re going to fuck me in a cleaner’s closet.”
As she’d said this, she’d poked my chest and hers in quick succession, and with heat rising in my cheeks, I found myself speechless for half a moment. I was going to *what now?*
“We can’t,” I hissed. “We may have been… intimate in the past, but I told you that it had to stop. It’s highly inappropriate.”
I couldn’t believe that I had to remind her of this. In fact, I couldn’t quite believe that I’d found myself in this ridiculous situation.
“How is it inappropriate?” Keaya shot back. “We’re done with House work for the day, are in a secluded spot, *and* we don’t work on the same team anymore. No one can claim that we’re favoring one another on the job.”
Dammit, I couldn’t listen to her, not again. I needed to get out of here. Keaya appealed to something wild in me, always had. It was something I had to deny. I couldn’t give in to it again, no matter how much I might want to.
“And your husband?” I asked. “What would he think of this?”
Flushing, Keaya snapped, “He’d ask to watch. He’s not a prude like you.”
That one statement was enough to make my mind go blank, and at my side, my fingers twitched.
“A prude?” I said in monotone.
Throwing her head back, Keaya groaned.
“Yes, Clarx. Can we please, just once, skip this song and dance? Forget the rules. We both know what you want. We both know what I want,” she said. “Mother Time! Just fuck me already.”
Lowering her head, she snarled at me with sparking eyes, and the wild part in me responded to it. I teetered over an abyss, nearly regaining my balance, but when she snapped her teeth at me, I lost myself.
Quite a while later, Keaya laid a finger on my cheek to turn my gaze toward her.
“Good,” she panted. “You did good. How do you feel? Less tense?”
“Maybe a little,” I said.
I kissed her again, softly this time. It was always easier to show her this vulnerable side after she’d done everything she could to help me relax.
Unfortunately, a message slipped into my array while I was there, and on reading it, I jerked away from Keaya, leaving her reaching for me.
“No… not yet,” she said before releasing an exasperated sigh. “Well? What is it? What’s come along to interrupt us this time?”
“That bastard from House Kolb has gotten an override from his *shukusen* for his weapons,” I said. “I have to return them to him.”
“Make him wait,” Keaya said. “Stay with me. One more round. Please.”
I kissed the tip of her nose.
“Maybe later,” I said. “Why don’t you head to my place? Once I’m done with this annoyance, we can take turns insulting House Kolb.”
“You promise?” Keaya asked.
“I promise.”
Her shoulders rose and fell, but with thin lips, she nodded.
“All right.”
Collecting ourselves, we stepped out of the supply closet, separating without a word.
I returned to the lockup that I’d abandoned not a quarter-hour before, but on reaching it, I found my quested-after items missing. Frowning, I requested a feed of everything the room’s recorder had captured since I’d left, and in it, I watched a lower Stratus member take the weapons, nervously glancing around before leaving.
What had she been *thinking?* One didn’t take something so dangerous from its proper place. Despite hating their arrogance, even I’d admit that House Kolb members were the only people qualified to use equipment like that.
I made a request for my array to receive any further sightings of the thief, following in her wake once I had what I needed. I didn’t know what I’d do when I located the woman, but I had to find her.
The task took me a while, far longer than I wanted to keep Keaya waiting, but eventually, I tracked my quarry to a warehouse, or Vaessa’s version of one at least. She was meeting with three other people there with all of them clustered around her bounty, and huddled in the shadows outside, I listened to their conversation.
“This is excellent, Vray,” a man said. “The children of Ibis should make good use of these.”
“I certainly hope so,” Vray grumbled. “Trailing the idiot who left them in lockup was hard. He kept slipping away from me.”
“But you got what we needed in the end. Our allies will find these weapons helpful,” another woman said. “We shouldn’t stay gathered like this for long, though. Having everyone in one place isn’t good for the plan, not with so many of us already compromised. So, take a few items, and let’s get out of here.”
As she’d been speaking, something deep inside of me had resonated with my situation. I didn’t know what it was or why everything about the situation felt so familiar... until the persona of ‘Clarx’ slipped away, replaced with Zaeden, with *me.*
As soon as the switch was done, I was left shuddering at my behavior over the last four months. Hell, Keaya had been right. I *had* been a prude. The thought made me gag with my stomach revolting against me.
I was myself now, though, and my goal in Ibis was nearly achieved. I had only one thing left to do before I could go home.
Taking a deep breath, I strode into the warehouse.
***[TTS Chapter Seventeen](https://hischosenfuture.com/attachments/113)***
# Chapter 18: Ok, I'm a Badass 1
My footfalls spun the conspiracy’s remaining members to me, and I held my hands to either side, spreading my fingers to show that I was unarmed.
“Ladies, gentlemen, and others!” I called. “This is highly inappropriate behavior!”
Ugh. Clarx was lingering. With a silent growl, I beat that persona back beneath the surface with a stick.
“The weapons at your feet should be in lockup, not planned for delivery to children of Ibis,” I said. “Unless you mean to give them lessons as well, those unfortunate people are more likely to hurt themselves with your gifts than to damage whoever you’re aiming them at.”
One of the women—their leader, presumably—stood from the group’s crouched huddle to face me.
“Who are you?” she snapped.
Good question. Not the first thing I’d have asked or done in her position, but to each their own.
“He’s that idiot I followed to lockup,” Vray said. “Um… Clarx, Fifth Stratus was what my identity check returned with.”
“A Fifth Stratus?” the man in their midst said. “Well, then. This should be simple enough to clear up.”
He stood, brushing himself off.
“I’m-”
“Laytn, Third Stratus of House Vaessa, I know,” I said, “and this idiot has been hunting you for four months. Much longer than it should have taken, yes, but I was working under special circumstances.”
Like using a persona that I despised.
After a pause, the other two were on their feet, pointing previously hidden weapons my way, and I stopped. That was fine, though. I was close enough.
I was surprised it had taken them this long to halt my advance. That had been sloppy, but then, what else should I have expected from House Vaessa members?
“You’re from House Kolb?” the last woman asked.
Never let it be said that House Vaessa members were stupid, though. They just had no tactical awareness, and to be fair to them, a skill like that wasn’t required for what they did.
With a faint grin, I said, “Yes and no.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Vray snapped.
At the same time, Laytn asked, “What’s your Stratus? As part of the high Strata, I have access to many luxuries. Perhaps we can work something out.”
Evidence of corruption. Given how many House Kolb members I’d dragged before *shukusen* Talira for accepting an offer like this, Laytn’s proposal shouldn’t surprise me, but the innocent part of me, yet to be crushed despite everything I’d seen and done, decried it.
“I have no Stratus,” I said in answer. “Not yet.”
“They sent someone who’s yet to be placed after us?” one of the unarmed women said. “No. Another operative has to be with him. How else could the others have been caught?”
Rolling my eyes, I said, “You’ve misunderstood me, but perhaps this will clear it up.”
Straightening, I lowered my hands to my sides.
“By the power of the *Lokke Vitras,* imbued in me, I find you guilty of planning to harm Lutov,” I said. “Peacefully surrender, or I cannot guarantee who among you will survive this day.”
As I’d been speaking, their faces had slowly leeched of color, and one of the women stumbled, nearly falling. I watched them for a moment, letting everything I’d said sink in, until Vray gave the only appropriate response for someone in her situation.
“We’re fucked.”
“Not necessarily,” I said. “You’ll probably be stripped of House and Stratus for a while, working for the good of Lutov until Vaessa takes you back, but they will do that. Eventually. The Houses always do. Once they have, you’ll probably stay low Stratus for a few decades, but I have no doubt that you’ll reach your current level again, given time. Yes, your lives will be hell for a while, but you won’t be dead. I highly recommend any choice that results in your survival.”
Baring his teeth, Laytn lifted his weapon, and sighing, I slowly adjusted my position so that he was aiming somewhere less deadly.
“You’re good enough to take on the four of us at once?” he said. “You said ‘power of the *Lokke Vitras,* imbued in me.’ Therefore, not him, right? Seems to me we have a chance. Ladies?”
With my hands raised once more, I waited for them to make a decision, keeping half of my attention on the man pointing a pistol at me, while the women exchanged glances and probably messages as well. I shouldn’t let them form a plan. By right, their lives had been mine the moment after I’d declared myself, but I’d never liked starting a fight that might end in bodies unless I absolutely had to.
When an unnamed woman joined Laytn in aiming a weapon at me, I knew this confrontation wouldn’t go my way—
“He’s right,” she said.
—but I tried to delay its inevitable conclusion anyway. Mother Time, I didn’t know why I always did this. It would only end in a scolding for me later.
But only if *he* was watching. In case *he* was, I wiggled my fingers in the direction of a nearby recorder.
The other two conspirators took aggressive stances, and I winced. With the way they were standing, their pistols’ kickback would send them careening to the floor.
“Really?” I said. “You’d rather try to kill me than relinquish your lives’ luxuries for a while?”
That wouldn’t surprise me. Of the people I’d brought in over the years, high Stratus House members had always been the ones most likely to fight me.
“We don’t care about that. We’re doing this for the children of Ibis,” Vray snarled. “They don’t deserve what we do to them, but they’ll never have a chance at living normal lives or pushing us out of their land without weapons like these. Lutov won’t let Ibis go. Some of us have to help them if they’re ever to gain their freedom.”
The others in the group nodded or murmured their agreement, and I cocked my head. Ibisian sympathizers in House Vaessa? That was new.
“I understand what you’re trying to do,” I said, “but freeing Ibis this way will only end in a slaughter-”
“How is that any worse than the hundreds of them we kill *every day?”* Laytn snapped.
He’d… made a good point, but handling social problems like this wasn’t my job, unfortunate as that was. Keeping Lutov safe was, and these four had threatened her. So once again, I must set aside my personal thoughts and feelings on the matter.
“Sacrifice self. House before family. Lutov over all,” I breathed to myself before raising my voice. “I’d rather not send you to the Collective before your time.”
“Well, you’ll have to try anyway,” Laytn said.
He set his shoulders, leaving my attempt to peacefully capture these conspirators a heartbeat away from failing. Dammit.
My rifle was in my hand without a thought to call for it, and House Kolb speed brought it to bear on Laytn before he could squeeze his pistol’s trigger. His face filled my vision while I lined up a quick and painless kill shot and…
I froze. Laytn’s energy bolt took me in the gut which…
*Ow.*
But I’d gotten used to injuries like this, at least while I was in the heat of battle. It didn’t slow me down.
I grabbed a woman to serve as a shield against her companions, and as expected, they were far less willing to hurt her than they had been with me.
“Do you lot even know what those things do?” I called over her sobs, gesturing at the weapons that had started this.
The other three wordlessly stared at me, obviously afraid to move lest I blow their friend’s head off of her shoulders. Had they not seen me hesitating with Laytn? If they hadn’t, it was to my advantage but…
Shit. *He* might have seen me locking up again. Fantastic.
But I needed to focus on the here and now, not on what might have happened.
“I thought not,” I called before smirking. “You might not know what you’ve stolen, but I do.”
Slamming my rifle’s stock into my captive’s head, I thrust her away from me. I didn’t know if my blow would drop her, but I didn’t have time for anything else right now.
Diving toward the weapons, I snatched a suppression grenade from among them, activated it, and rolled it toward Laytn. It stopped at his feet, drawing a yelp from him before a loud puff of air was released.
I didn’t stop to watch how the grenade would affect him, already intimately aware of what it would look like. Instead, I rolled to my feet, which had my gut protesting while an alert flashed in my array, and halfway up, something slammed into my back.
Somehow, I stayed on my feet despite that, jerking away from a second blow, but the initial one had been forceful enough to jar something in my spine. That would be fun to deal with once this was over, but for now, I ignored how much my vision flashed if I moved the wrong way, which I did a lot of while dodging energy bolts.
As soon as I got a chance, I raised my rifle, aimed, and fired twice, all in a heartbeat, and Vray screamed, falling to one knee while her fried pistol tumbled out of her fingers. I needed to put her out of commission before the blackened hole in her shin healed, but that wouldn’t be for a while yet. I had time to deal with my other… *three* opponents?
How the hell had Laytn stayed awake through a damn suppression grenade? Mother Time, these people really were desperate to see their goal met.
When he passed the pile of weapons, poor Laytn got five more doses of suppression gas, courtesy of my rifle’s bolts, but honestly, he should count his luck. My last shot had almost hit an actual grenade.
That *should* take care of him, but I pulled a nearby recorder’s feed into my array so I could keep watch. Just in case.
One of the remaining women got a bolt through her hip, and as she fell to the floor, clutching at it, I winced. I knew how painful a wound like that was.
The last conspirator, the first of them to show sense, ducked behind cover, but she didn’t lay down suppressing fire as well. She let me wander among her comrades, jabbing them with hypos full of the strongest sedatives Lutov could produce, while catching her breath.
“You should stop this and surrender,” I said. “You can’t match me by yourself, and in the long run, it’ll go better for you if you stop resisting me now.”
She didn’t reply, and shaking my head, I made my way to the crate that she was hiding behind with my rifle raised and every sense strained. I didn’t think she’d make this difficult for me, but nonetheless, I treated this last target as if she was the most dangerous threat I’d ever faced. With my steps near-silent and breathing rate almost non-existent, she’d have to claim Magsense magic to hear me coming.
Somehow, she knew where I was without that. As I approached the corner of the crate, she stuck her pistol into view before squeezing its trigger.
From this point-blank range, the shot *obliterated* my knee, and with a grunt, I toppled. The woman came into view, but instead of finishing me off as she should, she ran.
“Mother fucking Time! Dammit!” I shouted.
With the nerve endings in my wounded leg already dampened, I pulled emergency stabilizers out of my pocket. Clarx had carried these around out of paranoia, a trait I’d built into the persona. House Vaessa might not have allowed me a real weapon while here, even if I’d acted like one of their members, but after the many years I’d been doing this, there had been no way in hell I was going on a mission without some form of first aid on me.
The stabilizer’s gel hardened, and I struggled to reach my feet, taking off in a lurching sprint once there. Because my makeshift cast was unable to fully take my weight, my leg wanted to buckle every fifth step, but as long as I could keep going, I didn’t care how well it worked. For now.
I caught up to my target a hallway over. Other House Vaessa members scattered out of our path, especially when I fired a warning shot over the conspirator’s head.
Slowing to a stop, she spun, pointing her pistol at my chest. I kept the bolt that she fired from destroying my heart, but I wasn’t fast enough to miss the shot entirely. It clipped my lung, which was just… wonderful, but the adrenaline rush that the injury imparted certainly helped with my aim. My next shot left burn marks on the woman’s face, and she froze.
“Drop it,” I said, barely keeping myself from wheezing. “What’s the plan, huh? Escape the Travel Center and hide among the children of Ibis? Do you want to live like them?”
“I want them to be free,” she cried.
Nodding, I said, “I know, but how can you help them if someone from House Kolb is constantly on your tail? They won’t stop chasing you. You know this, and no matter what personal beliefs they might hold about Ibis, they *will* kill you or bring you in eventually. Just… come with me now, and I’ll put in a good word with *shukusen* Raelle for you.”
When doubt flickered to life in her, her aim wavered, and I shot the spigot above her head, setting alarms blazing and water dousing everyone in the hall. The conspirator slapped her hands over her ears to block that deafening noise, and with a burst of House Kolb speed, I was pumping her full of sedatives before she could gasp.
Catching her as she sagged, I slowly got her over my shoulders before limping back to the ‘warehouse’. Once I had my targets laid out in front of me, I stared at their sprawled forms with my hands on my hips, swaying in place.
***[TTS Chapter Eighteen](https://hischosenfuture.com/attachments/114)***
# Chapter 19: Ok, I'm a Badass 2
Well. This had been a travesty.
For the love of all that might be holy, say I was wrong. Say *he* hadn’t been watching. If *he* hadn’t been, I might have time to retrieve the feeds from any nearby recorders and doctor them a bit-
A direct connection established in my array, and I started cursing in my head. I didn’t get an image because *of course I didn’t,* but I had no doubt that I was still under watch.
*“Kuvesk.* We need to talk,” *he* said. “Come home, and burn your cover while you leave. It doesn’t suit you.”
I tried so hard to be an obedient student and retain my protest, but I couldn’t help myself.
“Shouldn’t I hold onto every tool I have, even if it’s a little broken?” I asked.
Silence stretched over the connection, and the longer it continued, the more I winced. Oo. *He* wasn’t happy.
“Are you questioning me?” *he* eventually asked.
I shook my head so roughly that I was momentarily afraid it would fly off my neck, wincing at the twinges it produced.
“No, evushk,” I said. “I wouldn’t *dare.”*
Oh, that had been dumb. Closing one eye, I bit the inside of my lip, silently praying.
*Let the snark go. Let the snark go.*
“Just do as you’re told,” *he* said. “Come home.”
The connection cut, and I slumped a little, even knowing that *he* was probably watching.
I didn’t know why I’d provoked *him* as much as I had. It wasn’t smart, would probably get me severely hurt someday, but no matter how much I tried to stifle it, sarcasm still came out sometimes.
The four unconscious House Vaessa members in front of me could stay where they were. Someone would be along shortly to collect them, but their stolen weapons were another matter entirely. I couldn’t leave them here, where they might fall into untrained hands, so I oh-so-slowly gathered them as best I could and limped away from the recent site of conflict.
As I made my way to a lockup, I started the process of assuming my natural features once more. I hadn’t changed much for this mission: added a rash of freckles across my nose, leeched a bit of color from my eyes, and softened my cheekbones. But reversing these alterations would take hours without an accelerant to speed up the process, although small shifts should be noticeable soon.
All the while, I continued monitoring my injuries, making sure any nerve endings connected to them remained dampened. I hadn’t fully read through the list of the damage I’d accrued, the one that my array kept insistently pushing into view, but at the least, I made sure I couldn’t feel them and that they didn’t get any worse than they already were.
When I reached the lockup, the Second Stratus from earlier was waiting for me with his arms crossed and his foot tapping, and seeing this, I grimaced. As I came through the door, I exaggerated my limp, allowing the wheeze in my lungs to come through as I spread his things across the counter.
“Please, forgive the delay,” I said. “We… the Travel Center hasn’t had a high Stratus come through in a while. I jumped on the opportunity to finish my mission.”
Leaning on the counter, I gently prodded a wound while the Second Stratus narrowed his eyes.
“You’re Kolb too. Deep cover?” he asked.
I nodded, although technically the first wasn’t true yet.
Critically running his eyes over me, the Second Stratus asked, “Are you ok?”
I flapped a hand at him.
“I’m fine. Gut shot, knee shattered all to hell, a hole in one lung, and a possibly slipped disk in my spine. I haven’t checked the alert on that one yet,” I said. “All in a day’s work, right?”
I knew it wasn’t. I knew I’d taken an excessive amount of damage, only kept upright by my body’s quickened ability to heal itself, but I just *loved* making someone’s eyes pop like that.
“No, it’s not. Mother Time, we need to get you to a hospital,” the Second Stratus said. “What happened? What was your mission, and hell, what’s your Stratus? If you’ve advanced too early…”
Chuckling, I pushed off the counter, dropping all signs of my pain.
“I haven’t,” I said. “Tell me. Have my features started blurring yet?’
As he crinkled his brow, the Second Stratus said, “No. Why-?”
“Good. I can answer your questions, then,” I said. “A few months ago, Vaessa requested help, asking us to find the people stealing weapons from their lockups. The stolen items kept finding their way into the hands of local children of Ibis, which wasn’t good for the safety of Lutovish visitors. Over the last few months, I’ve rooted out the conspiracy, tagging the last four today.”
“Did they jump you?” the Second Stratus said. “Is that why the…?”
He waved a hand over my body, trying to play it cool even though my change in demeanor had clearly unsettled him.
“No, I confronted them, hoping they’d surrender. I didn’t want anyone hurt, at least not permanently, and while I failed to talk them down, everyone who took part in the confrontation is still breathing, even if we’re a little battered.”
The Second Stratus raised an eyebrow.
“Four of them. By yourself. And none of them are dead,” he said. “Are you sure about that? Even a high Stratus like myself would find something like that difficult.”
“Right! Your last question! You wanted to know my Stratus,” I said. “I don’t have one and seriously doubt I will for a while yet. I can’t gain my Stratus until my *evushk* leaves his position open, and he’s far too stubborn to relinquish it for some time yet. Mother Time help us all if he dies before I’m ready.”
The poor man looked mighty confused and maybe a tad fearful now. Good instincts on this one and enough sense to partially overcome the impossibility of who I was. I could see why he was Second Stratus.
“Who’s this *evushk?”* he asked. “Maybe I can help you. Your teacher’s clearly putting you in situations that you shouldn’t be anywhere near yet.”
“But that will be my job. To travel to the places no one will go and undertake the tasks that no one should have to accept. After all, am I not to sacrifice self? Am I not to put House before myself and those I love? Am I not to hold Lutov in the center of my heart?” I said. “As for my *evushk,* he is… *evushk,* and while I appreciate your offered help, you couldn’t give it to me, even if I wanted it. *Evushk* is higher Stratus than you. You couldn’t touch him.”
I shrugged while the Second Stratus blanched.
*“Lokke Vitras* to come,” he said. “Mother Time, the things I said to you. Please, accept my apology.”
Bowing to me, he moved to cup his neck, and I leaned over the counter, snatching his wrist before he could get his hand in place.
And all the while, my gut wound screamed at me.
*“Don’t* do that,” I snapped. “Never give your Favor to someone like me or *evushk.* You don’t know what terrible things we might demand from you.”
While the Second Stratus stammered, I whipped my eyes over this lockup, re-checking the recorder placement in it before requesting their feeds. I needed to erase what I could of them as thoroughly as possible, removing evidence of the honor that this man had meant to convey.
It was a tribute that would instead become a vulnerability for us both. That he’d almost gave me his Favor and I’d refused it… it wasn’t good, wasn’t *done* in Lutov, so I needed any recordings of it removed. The evidence of it would never be gone, but I could diminish its traces to the point that my enemies wouldn’t look for it.
When I received my requested feeds, however, they were blank. They’d captured nothing since I’d walked into this lockup.
*His* work. I didn’t know whether to be grateful that *he’d* been looking out for me or annoyed that *he’d* have more fodder for the lecture I was sure to soon receive.
After focusing on the surface world once more, I found the Second Stratus glancing between my hold on him and a point below my chest. Releasing him, I hopped to the ground, and the world went fuzzy for a moment, making me grab for the counter.
Somehow, I didn’t black out, pulling my fingers, one by one, off of sticky, wet metal. My blood was coating it, and hastily, I wiped the mess clean with a sleeve.
Glancing down, I winced at the spread of red across my shirt. That would make reaching departures frustrating, and the annoyance of it would only get worse the longer I delayed here.
“Second Stratus, please tell me that my features have started blurring,” I said.
Damn, he looked troubled.
“They… have,” he said. “Do you need me to get help?”
Shaking my head, I said, “I’m fine. I need you to go about your House business and pretend you never met me here.”
“Of course,” the Second Stratus said. “Are you sure you don’t want anything else from me?”
“I am,” I said. “Get out of here, please.”
Gathering his weapons, the Second Stratus left, casting a final, concerned look my way.
While I waited for him to create sufficient distance between us, I reviewed the alerts that I’d ignored to this point. I knew most of their contents already, but two of them confirmed suspicions I hadn’t yet verified.
Namely, yes. A herniated disk in my spine was pinching its nerve, which explained the horrendous twinges that ran through me whenever I stepped the wrong way, and yes, I’d need additional medical treatment when I got home.
The pressure I’d applied to my gut wound had ruptured a grazing burn on my intestines, which had leaked acid and other… things into my abdomen, and soon enough, this would cause sepsis. The damage to my intestines alone, my body could fix, but repairing the wound while also fighting itself? Not so much.
Damn, *he* wouldn’t be happy with me. *He* never liked it when I returned so badly damaged.
Dragging myself through the Travel Center was *hell,* but I made myself walk confidently, turning off pain receptors as needed. As I passed through arrivals, the woman who’d replaced me earlier today raised a hand.
“Hey! Did you forget something?” she asked. “You were lucky. We had a rush of visitors come through after your shift…”
Trailing off, Soaph frowned at me, keeping her eyes on my abdomen. The rusty stain found there would probably have people trying to stop me soon, and wouldn’t that be fun to handle?
Soaph hurried toward me with her hands outstretched.
“Clarx! What happened?” she asked. “Are you-?”
“I’m not Clarx,” I said, never stopping.
She spun to follow me.
“What are you talking about?” she asked. “Pax, we need help over here.”
The man lounging behind the checkpoint for departures never moved his eyes off of his monitor.
“What sort of help?” he asked.
“The medical emergency type,” Soaph snapped. “Get off your ass and help me!”
She was pulling on my arm, trying to get me to a chair, but I shook her off easily enough. At the frustrated shriek that this caused, Pax glanced up and shot to his feet, raising a cautionary hand.
“Clarx. Buddy. Stop moving before you hurt yourself more,” he said. “Let’s get you somewhere more comfortable until emergency services arrive.”
When I showed no sign of following his advice, he moved into my path.
“Please, Clarx-”
Clicking my tongue, I said, “Like I told Soaph, I am *not* your Clarx, never was.”
A burst of House Kolb speed got me around Pax before he could grab me.
“And I don’t require your aid,” I called.
Moving into departures, I headed for the closest beacon, smiling at its receptionist when I breezed inside. She scrambled to her feet while a cry rose behind her.
“Stop him! Something’s wrong-”
“Nothing’s wrong,” I interrupted. “I’m just burning Clarx of House Vaessa and good riddance to him. Maintaining that persona was a trial. No, *I* have finished my mission here. It’s time for me to go home.”
Even without looking, I could feel anger rising behind me as realization took hold. Much as I might have disliked the Clarx persona, he’d made friends with good people here, people who would struggle with everything that came after an operative’s betrayal.
Mother Time, Keaya, who would meet hostility from her comrades for never figuring out her romantic fling’s true nature.
There was a reason Kolb was the most hated House.
“You can’t make an unauthorized jump to Lutov,” someone growled behind me.
“Sure I can,” I said.
Spinning in place, I observed people radiating disgust and hatred, imprinting the image in my mind, and laid a hand on the ring around the beacon.
And nothing happened. Because after a quick check, I learned that my *Lokke Vitras* privileges had been revoked.
Flinging my head back, I groaned, “For fuck’s sake, *evushk.”*
*He* would make the final phase of a mission more difficult, perfectly aware that process cracking was my weak spot. Fortunately, I’d improved enough with it to bypass the security that protected the beacon, activating it before the House Vaessa members circling me could come closer.
Receiving the permission that it needed, the beacon did its work, and for a moment, I was ripped into a million-million parts, but after that initial discomfort, I was standing in the Terminal.
***[TTS Chapter Nineteen](https://hischosenfuture.com/attachments/115)***
# Chapter 20: The Terminal
In the Terminal, people popped into being around me with the same rattled look on their faces, but then again, most found molecular dispersion unpleasant. Who liked having every atom of their being pulled apart?
I’d done it often enough that my need to shudder after arriving here had faded, but Mother Time, if I still didn’t hate it.
At least here, though, I didn’t have to contend with a damaged body. The Terminal was where a person’s consciousness rested while waiting for travel to their next beacon. Hence, nothing physical, like a pesky punctured lung, here.
There was also no differentiation, meaning everyone used the same avatar. The Terminal barely had enough processing power to hold so many people’s sparks of souls, reduced to numbers, as well as countless rendered images of this place. It would need much more before its inhabitants could tweak their bodies in whatever way they wanted as well, but we weren’t there, tech-wise. Maybe someday, but for now, people dealt with the bland body they’d received in this, the most complex piece of Lutovish tech in existence.
The Terminal itself was quite magnificent. Upon arriving, one stood somewhere similar to a grand Hall of Judgment’s foyer. Black and white tiles formed a geometric pattern on the floor, stretching to a stone wall several hundred meters distant.
High overhead, panels with painted images of a cloudy sky decorated the ceiling. Pillars stood a few meters in front of the far side, and between them, small booths rested with their walls made of half brushed-steel and half glass.
Amusingly quaint automatons were sitting inside of them today. The comptrollers’ image frequently changed, but most of the time, they looked like human beings of one sort or another. On especially busy days, people lined up in front of the booths, courteously trying to save other people time, but for now, the comptrollers sat alone until someone strolled up to them.
On the Terminal’s near side, one could find all sorts of entertainment: holodrama theaters; scenario rooms; even overnights, if one was interested in having a rendezvous in a fabricated world, and both sides of this place reached for as far as the eye could see.
Stretching, I checked my place in the queue: 2,462. I’d be here for a while.
Now, if I were so inclined, I could claim medical distress and get pushed to the front of the line, but not only was I unconcerned about possible degradation to my atoms as they zipped across the world but…
I was a snarky son of a bitch.
*He’d* told me to come home. *He* had not, however, said how quickly I should do that, and I was reluctant to learn what *he’d* have in store for me when I arrived. Plus, if I waited my turn, it would needle *him,* and despite how much trouble it would get me in or how dangerous it might be, I loved doing that.
So, I headed for my favorite place in the Terminal.
When I stepped into the closest library, I scrolled through a list of books, found on the monitor just inside the entrance, until I’d picked one that sounded interesting. Noting its location, I ambled through shelves filled with stories and facts, and after retrieving my desired tale, I headed for an armchair, curling into it with the book resting on my knees.
And it was just that. A book. Hundreds of pages contained by its cover with the most delightful smell drifting from it when I rubbed a thumb over its paper edges.
I knew it wasn’t real. Somewhere in the physical world, a storecase was feeding this information to my consciousness, but it *felt* real, and I adored it. Paper and ink books were so rare in Lutov.
With a contented sigh, I opened it to the first page.
I’d almost reached the end of the book when a pleasant, gender-neutral voice sounded in my ear.
“Zaeden, House undetermined. Please, follow the provided guide to comptroller one thousand, three hundred and twenty-six.”
A softly glowing ball descended into my field of view, and I set the book aside with a grimace. I’d like to finish it, but if I did, it would keep the next person in line waiting, which would be rude.
The ball of light led me to a booth, vanishing as I approached it. Inside, a comptroller folded its metal-bladed fingers together on the desk.
“Good evening, Zaeden. How may I assist you?” it asked, cocking its head in a jerky fashion.
How enthralling.
“I need to get to the Southern Fells Travel Center, if you please,” I said. “Are any beacons open there?”
The comptroller ratcheted its head to its other shoulder.
“Indeed. I shall get you there straightaway,” it said. “For your consideration. If you use the beacon that you’ve requested, you will experience a time change of almost twelve hours. It will be early morning there, which may be distressing for you. Are you sure this is your desire?”
Smiling, I said, “Yes please, but thank you for your concern.”
“Naturally. In that case, we shall begin,” the comptroller said, “Before you go, may I ask if you have any suggestions to improve-?”
The automaton blipped out of its booth for a breath, and when it returned, it was sitting ramrod straight with its geared hands lying flat on its desk.
“Zaeden, you appear to be seriously injured,” it said. “Shall I bring emergency services to your location before you apparate?”
What… a… good question. How badly did I want to irritate *him?*
“If you did that, how long would it take in the real world?” I asked. “Oh, and how much time has passed since I arrived here?”
The comptroller shuttered the metal spheres that composed its eyes, slightly tilting its head.
“Outside of the Terminal, emergency services would take approximately five minutes to arrive where you will apparate, although it would seem like mere seconds to you,” it said. “Three hours, seventeen minutes, and eight seconds have passed since you first graced this place with your presence.”
So, *he’d* been waiting for a while, which meant *he’d* be annoyed either way. Might as well-
“Do it,” I said.
Let *him* handle emergency services when they showed up. Their inevitable shows of deference were sure to piss *him* off even more, and I had to admit. I was a bit curious whether the irritations I’d provided for *him* today would crack that ever-present, neutral expression of *his.*
“Done,” the comptroller said. “Your beacon is now prepared. We hope that you’ve had a pleasant stay in the Terminal.”
“Oh, I have,” I said.
The image of the comptroller sucked to a distant point, quickly replaced with a different view. Fighting through the disorientation that always came with having my consciousness shoved into its body once more, I noted black hair and gray eyes resting above brightly colored lips. I saw the pinch in them as well as faint movement in a typically statuesque body, and I made a face.
Because the *Lokke Vitras* was standing in front of me with his eyes drilling into my skull, and he was not pleased.
***[TTS Chapter Twenty](https://hischosenfuture.com/attachments/116)***
# Chapter 21: Or Not 1
The Southern Fells Travel Center was smaller than the one in Ibis, and although its layout was similar—if stacked rather than aligned—the aesthetic here was much different.
The facility in Ibis had mostly concrete walls and slabbed tiles for its floor. It had clearly been built with function in mind. Nothing about it was pleasing to the eye, save for in the zones reserved for visitors.
Conversely, everything about the Southern Fells Travel Center focused on beauty and flow. Except for support columns, nothing divided each floor. Instead, it was an open space dotted by potted plants and sleek seating. Glass windows formed the place’s exterior wall, and beyond it, Lake Phiabe stretched on three sides while misty marshland took up the fourth.
Although Lake Phiabe nearly rivaled Lake Voxmore in size, it matched Lutov’s smaller Lake Sonis in appearance. Reeds and leafy pads blurred the line between its shore and shallows, and herons as well as other lake creatures glided, hopped, and darted through the grass and water. Fog hung heavy over the lake’s surface, constantly teasing of something wonderful hidden just out of view.
The scene looked like something pulled out of a fairy tale, calling forth wonder and peace in most of the people who visited it, and it surrounded the Travel Center, the faintest breath of civilization imposed on a place of wild magic.
After the many times I’d passed through here, I’d grown quite fond of the place.
It was also one of the least frequented Travel Centers, as not many Lutovish made their homes in the Southern Fells. This relatively abandoned state was to my benefit at the moment. It meant that maybe a dozen people were staring at the *Lokke Vitras* and consequently, me, and from the way he was looking at me, I could expect a spot of embarrassment.
So, hooray for small audiences.
*“Kuvesk,”* he said in an empty voice.
Shit, that was his lengthy lecture tone. This would take longer than I’d thought, which was too bad because a host of new alerts had popped into my array since apparating. My atoms had degraded more quickly during their transit to Lutov than I’d thought they would, and because of that, I didn’t know how much longer I could stay on my feet, no matter how many pain receptors I deadened. Despite this, I bowed to the *Lokke Vitras,* nearly puking my guts up on his combat boots as a result.
*“Evushk,”* I said.
Pride flashed in me for keeping my strain to myself. I hadn’t let it show! For now.
“Make yourself comfortable,” the *Lokke Vitras* said. “I have a long list for you this time.”
By which he meant: Stop stressing your wounds, moron. And. Oh… you fucked up this time.
I was paraphrasing, of course. I’d never known this man to be casual or crass. He was usually so wrapped in formality and a lack of emotions that I sometimes wondered whether *shukusen* Talira had replaced his heart with gears in the past.
Still, I rose from my bow, although this effort was harder on me than the first had been. Every second felt like the moment after a gut punch, an aching queasiness that could, at times, steal one’s breath, and when I moved, it blossomed into horribly dull pain, reaching a hand up my throat.
A few years ago, I’d have been on the ground, curling around my wounds, while desperately clinging to the focus needed to maintain consciousness. Now, I merely blinked at the *Lokke Vitras* as if nothing was wrong with me, although I couldn’t stop sweat from rolling over my skin. I didn’t have enough in me to control that function of the body as well as my stifled nerve endings while also giving the *Lokke Vitras* the attention that he demanded.
“Are you listening properly, *kuvesk?”* he asked.
“Always, *evushk,”* I said. “Teach me.”
With our protocol established, the *Lokke Vitras* raised a fist, lifting a finger from it.
“Regarding the length of time it took for you to complete your mission,” he said. “I noted no less than sixty-two opportunities that you could have used to more quickly finish it, beginning one month and two days into your stay with House Vaessa. A list of these has been sent to your array. I expect that after studying them, you’ll never overlook these openings again. Our time is too valuable for you to waste four months on a mission as simple as the one I gave you.”
Mother Time, he’d started there? I’d thought my timing had been rather good on this mission, but if he’d found fault with something that small, we might be here for a while.
He looked at me expectantly, and I internally sighed.
“I hear your words, *evushk,”* I said.
Nodding, the *Lokke Vitras* lifted another finger.
“Regarding your persona,” he said. “Once again, you let it control you rather than the other way around, except when sex was involved. When in deep cover, you must become another person, but you cannot lose yourself to it. In your next slew of lessons, we will practice the art of persona switches again. You obviously need the review.”
A laugh burst from the people watching us, and almost, I went after its originator, just to show our audience what I was capable of, but this public humiliation was done for many reasons. It got me accustomed to the shame that every *Lokke Vitras* eventually underwent. It also, in a roundabout way, provided a report on my progress to anyone who was paying attention.
And I had progressed. The failings mentioned thus far were nothing compared to the dressing-downs that I’d gotten during my first years as the *Lokke Vitras* to come.
So, instead of unleashing destruction on our impromptu audience, I gave no reaction. To them, at least.
“I hear your words, *evushk,”* I said.
Something that might have been approval flickered in the *Lokke Vitras’* eyes as he lifted a third finger.
“Regarding your fight today,” he said. “If you had eliminated your targets right away, as was your right, you wouldn’t have sustained the injuries that you have—”
As he quickly circled me, the *Lokke Vitras* jabbed my chest, gut, knee, and back, and for a breath, black lapped at my vision.
“—and Lutov wouldn’t have four, dangerous people to monitor. In addition.”
He stopped as if that had been the totality of what he’d wanted to say, but I knew that look, even barely present as it was. He was weighing his options.
*“Frankly,* kuvesk, *this is getting ridiculous,”* he said, switching to the Ibisian tongue.
Did he not want people to understand what he was saying? Few Lutovish had bothered to learn another tongue or gotten a translator inserted.
*“What do you hope to accomplish with your passivity?”* the *Lokke Vitras* continued. *“If you’re to replace me someday, you will eventually take a life. It’s part of the job. Whatever is keeping you from crossing this hurdle, you need to overcome it and soon. Do you hear me?”*
He closed his mouth, nodding to let me know I could speak.
“I… hear your words, *evushk,”* I said.
But I didn’t know how to solve this conundrum. I’d never killed someone, not once in the many years of my training, and ever, it had been a source of contention between us, one I didn’t understand. I’d broken through most of the conditioning that every Lutovish received as a child, but the idea that death was something that should be chosen, not given, had sunk its claws into the depths of me, and I had yet to dig them out. When I considered killing someone, it made me almost a nauseous as I was now, with a gut wound slowly killing me.
The *Lokke Vitras* lowered his hand.
“I have other items to address, but considering they involve civilians’ private lives, I will withhold them until a more appropriate time,” he said. “You are free to focus elsewhere.”
Again, I bowed, which had my spine screaming at me this time. It had been doing that throughout the lecture, but blocking the pain receptors along my back had, to this point, been more easily accomplished than doing the same for my gut.
My strength, however, was quickly flagging. I’d give myself another three minutes before my legs gave out.
“I am honored to receive your instruction,” I said.
Uh-oh. Some of my stress had been laced into that sentence. Had anyone, besides *evushk,* noticed it?
When I hauled myself upright, the world was spinning at a dizzying frequency, and I took a slow breath through my mouth, watching people in the crowd depart now that the show was over. Many of them stayed, however, because who wouldn’t take advantage of a rare encounter with the *Lokke Vitras?* Much as people feared him, he also had a certain appeal, as seen in the cautious awe civilians ever sent his way.
I was pretty sure he’d never gotten the same from me.
He came closer, closing us off from anyone who might try to eavesdrop on us, and I levelly met his gaze, noting when its emptiness wavered.
*“Can you walk?”* he asked, switching to the Ostium tongue.
Not without doing something extremely unwise, but hell if I was telling him that.
*“I can probably reach your skycruiser,”* I said.
Almost on the tail of this, he said, *“Don’t lie to me,* kuvesk.”
If he’d already known I couldn’t move, then why the fuck had he asked if I could?
*“Honestly,* evushk,” I stiffly said, *“it doesn’t much matter what I think, does it? Not about something like this, at least.”*
And there it was. Despite his typical emptiness, despite what was fighting to break through it now, *evushk’s* lips twitched like they did every time I’d surprised or amused him. Mother Time, I’d missed it.
“How unfortunate for you that I sent emergency services away,” he said.
Frowning, I said, “What’s that supposed to me-?”
Faster than I could track, *evushk* bent to lift me off the ground, cradling me to his chest, and after an initial yelp, I bit my tongue hard while trying not to scream. Almost, I blacked out with my vision sparking between scenes instead, and when I’d gained enough control to string those scenes into consecutive order, we were nearly to the lifts.
“You’re only… making everything that’s wrong with me… worse,” I gasped.
“Then, perhaps you shouldn’t have gotten hurt,” my *evushk* grumbled.
Damn… I’d know he wouldn’t be happy about how much damage I’d taken but this… this seemed excessive.
Then, we were in the lift, and its jerk on me, inside and out, forced my attention solely on staying awake. When I could spare focus for the rest of the world, *evushk* was loading me into his skycruiser.
I relaxed while he rounded the vehicle to his seat, putting our destination’s coordinates into the console. As we lifted off of the platform, Lake Phiabe quickly replaced the wet marshlands below us, and *evushk* reached for a satchel in the back while reclining my seat. Before I could protest, he’d jabbed me with several hypos, everything I’d need to see my body healed.
“You silly, reckless, *stubborn* man,” he said under his breath all the while.
I knew better than to respond, letting rapid regeneration drugs do their work instead. Once he was done with me, *evushk* fell silent, slumping in his seat with his arms crossed. Quiet reigned for the half-hour trip to his home, which would have been more awkward if our situation hadn’t been so familiar.
Lake Phiabe passed beneath us, eventually transforming into a still mirror, even if the fog hanging over it had yet to lift. By the time this surrendered to the Southern Fell’s typical moors, I’d healed enough to raise my seat and watch our descent into the estate that House Kolb’s First Stratus claimed.
It was much less expansive than my family’s place, but that was only because everything *evushk* considered unnecessary had been stripped from it. As we approached, its single, stark building rose out of the rolling hills, and the ground beside it parted, giving us access to the estate’s underground landing pad.
Once we’d set down, *evushk* stayed where he was, neither moving nor speaking, and I waited, content to stay where I was.
“I expect to see you at dinner tomorrow,” he eventually said.
He climbed out of the vehicle before I could say a word, leaving me alone.
***[TTS Chapter Twenty-One](https://hischosenfuture.com/attachments/117)***
# Chapter 22: Or Not 2
For a while, I didn’t move, simply considering how lucky I was that *evushk* had let me off easy this time. While at the Travel Center, he could have revealed much more embarrassing secrets from my last mission than he had. I couldn’t tell if he’d done that out of consideration for my emotional well-being or if my injuries had worried him enough to delay those criticisms. If that weren’t enough, he’d given me much less time to heal in the past.
To be fair, I couldn’t remember the last time I’d come home so badly wounded.
When I could, I clawed my way free of the skycruiser, leaving the hangar in lurching steps. The familiar route to my room passed beneath my notice, although the help I’d received from rapid regeneration drugs quickly reached its limit. I had to rely on the drones’ in-built anti-gravity function for the last few meters.
The processes that ran when I entered my room were different from the ones that I’d used years ago. In the past, I’d been more concerned with superficial precautions and comfort. Now, everything was set for my safety.
My array informed me that no one had entered the room since I’d last left it, and the lights stayed ridiculously bright until I chose to dim them, giving me time to check for superficial surprises. Even with my array’s assurance in hand, I slowly circled the room once I’d sent the drones away. I couldn’t do as thorough of a search here as I might like, but what I could finish indicated that no subtle traps had been set while I’d been gone. After raising my typical warning system near the door and windows, I fell into my bed’s sheets, never bothering with stripping my blood-soaked clothing off of me.
My safety measures weren’t nearly as complete as I’d like, but I had nothing else to give. I’d have to trust that the *Lokke Vitras* wouldn’t murder me in my sleep.
Other threats didn’t concern me. If they were undesired, they wouldn’t get into this estate.
With nothing else to prevent it, I fell into the sleep that rapid regeneration drugs had been urging from me since I’d received them.
When I woke up, it was late afternoon of the next day, and despite the integrity of my warning system, I knew that *evushk* had been here. I could smell him, or at least, I thought that was what alerted me to his visit.
What had he been doing in my room?
I didn’t know why that question had popped into my head. It would never be answered.
Climbing out of bed, I winced. I was sore, but my wounds were gone, and seeing that, I stretched, testing my range of motion. I wasn’t happy with the results, disliking the accommodations I’d have to make to achieve typically normal movements, but I couldn’t stay in this room for more rest, not with dinner a couple of hours from now.
I headed for the kitchen, enjoying the quiet that was ever found in this house. It was truly a refuge for someone constantly embroiled in turmoil, stress, and violence with peace found in every austere corridor and room.
I understood why the estate claimed little embellishment. From what I could tell, it had been built with only one goal in mind: safety. Hence, nothing extra had been added besides what was needed for comfortable living. Barely any personal touches marked the place.
Except in the kitchen. Located in the center-most bowels of the estate, it was the most defensible room here. So, knives of all types freely decorated magnetized strips on one wall, and an old-fashioned stove and counter tops lay beneath them while ovens sat in a wall at the far end. An icebox stood on the near side, containing perishable ingredients.
Very different from a kitchen’s typical solitary refectory.
In addition, a table sat in the room’s nook with recessed lights shining down on it, and a bench rested between it and the wall. No other seating was around it, which only made sense for a household of two.
Most importantly, however, the kitchen was where Ace spent most of his time. As I entered the room, he trotted to me, wagging his tail, but when he sniffed me, he laid his ears back on his head.
“Yeah, I know,” I said.
Crouching, I extended a hand toward the dog.
“I smell like Vaessa and the drugs you hate, don’t I?” I said. “It’s only me, Ace. If I have time, I’ll take you to the lake before I leave again, ok?”
I knew he hadn’t understood what I’d said, but the sound of my voice soothed him. Cautiously, he moved toward me, and I scratched his muzzle. After this was done, he let me move about the room without trouble, and once I’d finished with the prep work for tonight’s meal, I slid onto the table’s bench, resting my head on the wall.
I must have fallen asleep because the soft scuff of shoes on the floor jerked me upright, and I frowned. He’d made that noise on purpose.
Ace zoomed to the kitchen’s entrance, waiting with barely contained excitement, and I watched the rapidly increasing fury of his wagging tail to know how close *evushk* had come. When he stepped into the room, he leaned over to appease Ace’s need for attention before glancing at me.
He’d changed into something more comfortable, although it kept to his typical palate of black, and my cheeks heated when I remembered that I had yet to shower or change. He noted this with a slight crease between his eyebrows before patting Ace’s back.
“You’re early,” he said.
“Preparedness leads to success,” I replied.
“Only if your condition meets the standards required for your task.”
“And mine doesn’t?” I asked.
Lifting an eyebrow, *evushk* moved toward my basted chicken meat and chopped vegetables, and I got out of my seat, leaning on the table once I was on my feet. After a few deep breaths, I crossed the room to assume my typical role as sous chef.
Together, the *Lokke Vitras* and I made dinner, and if I had to take a few breaks to regain my strength during this, he said nothing about them. Once we’d finished, he served our plates before bringing them to the table, which was usually my job.
Once we’d arranged ourselves in our normal seating pattern, Ace came to lie at our feet, but neither of us reached for our utensils. I stared at my food while waiting for him to begin.
“Despite how it might have seemed in the Travel Center, you did well on this mission,” the *Lokke Vitras* said. “At some point, we should discuss the conversation you held with Second Stratus Graham in that lockup, but it can wait. Now isn’t the time for criticism but for a listing of everything you did right.
“So. While the four months that you took to complete your mission were much longer than any potential *Lokke Vitras* can spend on one task alone, it was still much better than most Second Stratus House members can achieve. You maintained a persona that was so anathema to you that checking on you recently has made me sick, seeing how changed you were. You fought four people without causing serious injury to them, something I’ve never gone out of my way to try, and while with Vaessa, you cultivated well-placed contacts, even if I forced you to divest of them in the end.”
He fell silent, and I’d think he was finished if his body weren’t so tense.
“You’re almost ready,” he said.
Jerking to face him, I said, “I’m what now?”
*Evushk* nodded.
“A few more years and I can give you this position,” he said.
Somehow, I caught my crazed cackle before it flew out of my mouth. A few years. Fucking hell, a few more years and I’d be…
Suddenly, I wasn’t so hungry.
Nudging me, *evushk* said, “You’ll be fine.”
He laid his hand, palm up, on the table, and I eagerly reached for the comfort he’d offered me, curling my fingers around his. The warmth of his skin on mine sent a surge of calm splashing against the spark of my soul, and the vice that had been squeezing my heart loosened at the same rate as *evushk’s* hand from around mine.
Setting my jaw, I pinned it to the table. He wasn’t letting go of me so easily.
“Shall we exercise our non-dominant hands?” I asked, refusing to look at him.
But he tightened his hold on me once more, and I reached for my fork.
“What have you been up to while I’ve been gone?” I asked.
“Infiltration of House Cerullis,” *evushk* said. “They’ve turned dangerously hostile in recent months, so Talira sent me to find out why.”
“Did you learn anything?” I said around a mouthful of food.
*Evushk* slowed down in his eating, which was my only clue that I’d unintentionally upset him.
“I had to extract before gaining any meaningful intel,” he said. “It was nothing serious, just a possible compromise of my persona. I’ll return within the month.”
“Do you need help?” I asked.
I didn’t expect that he’d ask for any, too stubborn for it, and as usual when it came to this topic, I was right.
“The role of the *Lokke Vitras* is solitary,” he said. “If I accepted someone’s help, even yours, others would perceive it as a weakness.”
I wanted to argue that his expressed worry wouldn’t come true, but even if it did, why should he care what other people thought of him? Their opinions didn’t lessen his ability to mop the floor with them, but I didn’t say this. While on this estate, our roles might be relaxed to a certain degree, but there were some topics I could never argue with him about, no matter the setting.
“Your brother’s House naming ceremony is in two days,” *evushk* said.
The subject change whiplashed me so badly that I almost choked.
“Yes?” I hesitantly said. “I keep track of my family’s activities, even if I never see them. I know Pheniks will be choosing a House soon. Why bring it up?”
I was half afraid that he’d say someone in my family had become a threat to Lutov. If that was the case, he might order me to eliminate them, which was a terrifying thought, but he just squeezed my hand.
"Would you like to attend?” he asked.
I clenched my fingers around my fork to keep it from clattering onto my plate. Was he serious? Mother Time, he’d never asked me what I wanted, not about anything like this at least.
It didn’t matter either way. Whether I believed his sincerity or not, he’d expect me to answer his question. So, I turned my body to stone, keeping my eyes on my half-finished food.
“I would like that, *evushk,”* I said.
“Then, you should attend.”
When I swung my head his way, the *Lokke Vitra*s was leaning on the table, cupping his cheek, and his hair had fallen into his eyes, making me shiver.
“No one needs you at the moment, and I can suspend your training for something as momentous as this,” he said. “Attend your brother’s House naming.”
Oh, hell. Something this powerful hadn’t threatened my control in ages, and on seeing the unspoken question in my eyes, *evushk* nodded.
“You may relax in full, *kuvesk,”* he said.
So, as had been threatened before, I let my fork clatter across the table while throwing myself at him. He rocked back while I circled my arms around his neck.
“Thank you!” I gasped. “Thank you, thank you, thank you!”
After awkwardly patting my back for a moment with Ace worriedly sticking his nose between our legs, *evushk* pulled me away from him.
“You’ll need to pack for an extended trip in Xygek. I may have a mission for you by the end of the week,” he said. “Take a skycruiser. Try not to crash it this time.”
I flushed at the reminder of a chase that had ended in disaster a few years ago.
“I won’t,” I said.
“Good. Then, go,” *evushk* said. “I’ll clean up tonight. You have a lot to do.”
Grabbing his hand, I held it between mine, bringing the resulting bundle to my lips.
“Thank you, *evushk.* Truly,” I said. “This means a lot to me.”
With his lips twitching, the *Lokke Vitras* pulled his hand out of my hold.
“I can see that,” he said. “You should probably get out of here before I change my mind.”
“Yes, *evushk.”*
I left my dinner half-finished, racing for the room where I slept.
My family. I hadn’t seen them in years. I let myself believe that our length of time apart was the only reason that my arms were trembling. If it was something more, it meant that the simple promise of a visit with them had defeated my years of training.
And I refused to believe that was possible.
***[TTS Chapter Twenty-Two](https://hischosenfuture.com/attachments/118)***
# Chapter 23: Perhaps I'm a Good Brother 1
The skycruiser set down, and I sat, motionless, in it. I hadn’t announced my arrival yet, uncertain how I should phrase the message. My family hadn’t seen me since my House naming ceremony. What would they do when I walked through the apartment’s door?
Rather than think about that, I glanced around the skycruiser, remembering when *evushk* and I had last used this one. We’d been headed home after completing a mission together, one that had gone poorly for us. He’d been where I was sitting now with me beside him, and after he’d input our destination’s coordinates, the air between us had been so thick. I’d thought it was because of a mistake I’d made, so I’d turned to apologize, he’d taken a fistful of my shirt, and… well. I’d gained a fond memory.
The glow of it helped me step onto the landing pad, and after retrieving my bag to toss over my shoulder, I waved off the drones that had come to help. Despite *evushk’s* warning, I’d packed only the items that I might need on a normal, daily basis, planning to raid my room for clothes, but now that I was here, I realized that my parents might not have kept my room ready for me.
If they hadn’t, it wouldn’t be a disaster. I might not belong to a House yet, but my Stratus, or lack thereof, would get me House-issued clothing from any store, and I’d always been most comfortable in those standard outfits.
Wonderful. Contemplation of that subject had gotten me to the door. Now, I needed to decide how I’d do this. How should I behave around my family now?
When I wasn’t on missions, I’d learned to discard personas, even if I still kept my emotions on a tight leash. They weren’t held separately like they had been when I was a child! But I controlled them, more so than most people did.
I wasn’t on a mission right now, but my family had never seen me without a persona. How would they react to the real me on top of our years-long separation?
For a while, I stood in front of the door into the apartment, wrestling with this problem. Fear wasn’t keeping me from making a decision. Rather, I didn’t have all of the variables I needed, and because of that, I didn’t know how to resolve this situation to where I achieved the best possible conclusion. Since I had the time, I’d like to figure it out before entering. I’d rather not fake my behavior when around the people I loved, but I didn’t know if they could handle me anymore.
Eventually, the choice was ripped away from me. The door slid open—
“-out with your hands up. How’d you get the codes-?”
—and a rifle’s barrel was in my face. It didn’t matter that a tiny part of me screamed in recognition of the voice I’d heard. I reacted.
Smacking the heel of my palm against the inside of an elbow, I used my other hand to grab the attached wrist. When I jerked it up, an energy bolt singed my temple, and I twisted my hold. With its owner no longer holding it, the rifle dissipated.
Swinging my enemy’s arm around, I hurled them into the door frame, quickly followed by me pinning them in place. I rested a knife—plucked from its hiding spot—against a neck, pressing hard enough that only a little more pressure would open its jugular.
All done in five seconds. All done on instinct.
Then, my mind caught up with my body, and I dropped the knife. It skittered across the floor as I stumbled away.
“Dad? I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean…. wasn’t going to…” I babbled. “Mother Time, what’d I do? I’ll just- I’ll find somewhere else to sleep.”
Spinning in place, I headed for the skycruiser, tapping into nearby recorders to watch my back as I went. Habits ingrained by my training wouldn’t relent, even in the face of me attacking my own damn father.
*“Zaeden?!”*
Holy shit, he’d sounded strange. Had that been joy or fear that had choked his voice?
Didn’t matter. Tucking my chin to my chest, I raced for escape.
“Stop! What are you…?” dad called. “Zae, hang on one damn minute, please!”
I slowed down. Halted. Rested my hand on the skycruiser for support. Waited.
“What are you doing here?” dad asked.
And he cringed. He didn’t mean for me to see it, yes, but I was watching him through the hangar’s recorders. So, I saw him wince in anticipation of a blow.
Fear. While on the way here, I’d gone through the many possible scenarios that I might encounter when reuniting with my family, but in not one of them had I considered that they might be afraid of me.
I didn’t know why I hadn’t. It was the most logical reaction to an unannounced visit from the *Lokke Vitras* to come but…
They were my family. How could dad think I’d hurt him?
Wasn’t that what I’d done, though?
Mother Time, the burn in my eyes was getting difficult to ignore.
Slumping, I faced my father with my hands clearly raised, exactly like I did when keeping a target calm.
“I’m not here on House business,” I said. “Do you think *shukusen* Talira would send me to apprehend her own son?”
“I think your grandmother’s done many terrible things in her life,” dad said. “Probably more than you realize.”
Oh, I was sure she had. She’d certainly sent *evushk* on enough missions that weighed on him to this day but not me. Never me.
“Phen’s House naming is tomorrow, right?” I said. “I’m here for that. I’m here to see my family. I’m sorry I attacked you, dad. It was-”
“Instinct,” dad interrupted. “Yeah, I gathered.”
Pausing, he examined me for a moment before turning on his heel to march inside.
“Let’s get you settled,” he stiffly said. “Everyone’s in the living room, listening to your brother jabber about some science thing. We’ll say hello first. Oh. And if you could give the drones permission to move your skycruiser, I’d appreciate it.”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” I called.
While dad was already inside the apartment, I had yet to take a step. I couldn’t bring myself to move, unable to believe how he was treating the situation.
If this was what I could expect from everyone in my family, I wasn’t sure I wanted to cross the apartment’s threshold. I’d still do it, if only to see whether Pheniks wanted me at his House naming ceremony, but given a choice, I’d rather stay out here.
Glancing over his shoulder, dad halted, frowning.
“Why not?” he asked.
“The skycruiser isn’t mine,” I said, jerking my thumb over my shoulder at it. “It belongs to *evushk,* and I’m not sure what sort of surprises he might have planted for any unauthorized users.”
*“Evushk?* A teacher. Who-?” dad asked before his eyes widened. “Our First Stratus.”
“Well… *your* First Stratus, but yes,” I said.
While he was stuck on that thought, I forced myself to go into the apartment, so by the time he shook his head, I was standing beside him, adjusting my bag’s strap on my shoulder.
“Is my room available?” I asked. “I know it’s been a few years.”
“We kept everything the way you left it,” dad said. “Couldn’t bring ourselves to…”
To what?
Hanging his head, dad wouldn’t meet my eyes, which was a… strange reaction. Best not to analyze it, not with everything else I needed to process.
“Can I drop this off first?” I asked. “I can find my own way to the living room, which will give you time to speak with the others. Unless you think I should send them messages instead?”
“No,” dad hastily said. “No, let me do it. Zaeden…”
The look on his face pinched my heart.
“I’m not here on House business,” I repeated. “The family’s safe.”
Taking a deep breath, he nodded, trudging toward the living room without a word, and I watched him go until he'd rounded a corner, sending a message once he was out of view.
*You didn’t warn me about how difficult this would be,* evushk.
I was almost in my room by the time he replied.
*You needed to experience it for yourself. Feel free to make use of the apartment if you need it. I’ll join you in the city soon.*
Mother Time, he was being kind to me. It made me suspicious, but then, that was a near constant state when it came to evushk.
After reaching my destination, I did a cursory examination of the place before tugging a side table away from the wall, smiling to see that dad hadn’t been exaggerating. If anyone had been living in my room since I’d left, they’d have noticed the hole that I’d knocked into the dry wall here.
Squeezing between the side table and my bed, I sat beside my old stash with my bag in my lap. I noted how badly the items inside needed dusting as I removed each of them.
Prepared kits for pranks.
I rarely pulled those anymore, not that I could. Over the last few years, my only possible targets had been *evushk* or my ‘companions’ while I was in deep cover. Maybe I could indulge in this old, favored activity while I stayed here. If I stayed.
A few sentimental gifts from partners.
My dating life had suffered in recent years. I’d needed my free time to recharge, leaving nothing extra for other people, and bringing such a lack of energy into a relationship wouldn’t be fair.
Did any of my former partners remember me as more than a footnote in their lives? When *evushk* had chosen me as his replacement, it hadn’t been highly publicized, meaning most of the people I'd cared about had probably never learned what had happened to me. I hoped I hadn’t hurt them too badly by vanishing into thin air.
A go-bag.
The one I’d brought with me was much better equipped than the poor selection found in this one, but given my resources at the time, it wasn’t too bad. With it, I could survive for a couple of days, which had always been the point. If anyone had found out about my aspirations for freedom, coming to exile me as a result, I’d have had the supplies needed to help me escape the city, but I didn’t need this bag anymore. I was thoroughly ensnared in captivity.
A physical, bound book.
I didn’t remember where I’d gotten this. Maybe I’d stolen it during one of my House rotations, when I’d had access to their limited libraries, or accepted it as a gift from a high Stratus partner. I supposed where it had come from didn’t matter, though.
This, I’d take home. *Evushk* would like me adding a volume of my own to his already impressive collection.
A message, scrawled in my near-unintelligible handwriting.
Blankly staring at this, I almost crumpled it to toss it across the room. I hated the words on it, words that a child had thought were profound, words I’d been afraid of committing to my array, but this scrap of paper was my start. Once I’d written this sentence, my path had begun, and I couldn’t easily discard it.
So, I tucked it inside the book, shoved that into my bag, and banged my head on the wall.
“No one will own me,” I said. “Ha!”
Rubbing my eyes, I shook myself and replaced a pile of paltry belongings into my stash before adding my bag to it. After shoving the side table back into place, I had nothing further to delay me.
As I approached the living room, Pheniks’ voice drifted out of it alongside occasional murmurs from the others, and I hovered outside of the entrance, taking a moment to enjoy the sound of family. I couldn’t keep putting this reunion off, though, and who knew? Maybe mom, Pheniks, and Feena wouldn’t have as strong of a reaction to me as dad had. So, I stepped into view and faced the room with gritted teeth.
Dad and Feena were standing in its most defensible corner with several objects between me and them, and a twinge speared through me when I noted my sister playing with a knife in the most causal way possible. Mom was sitting with Pheniks on the couch, and while he was facing away from me, chattering nonstop, mom had draped herself over the couch’s backrest so she could see the room’s entrance, keeping her muscles deceptively loose. When I entered the room, everyone who could see me tensed, and I rocked to a stop.
Fuck me. *Fuck me,* why did it feel like someone had shot me through the gut again?
Mother Time, I couldn’t do this. Seeing them like this, I was barely holding off a breakdown. If my little brother turned around and looked at me like I’d rip his head off, I would *lose it.*
So, with my hands displayed once more, I bowed to my family, these people I’d thought would always love me, and backed toward the exit.
Damn, I needed something comforting right now. Thank all that might be holy that *evushk* had offered up his apartment in the city. There, I could restrain this horrible hurt until it had faded to reasonable levels or until the *Lokke Vitras* arrived. Considering the circumstances, he might indulge me, participating in an activity that we both loved.
“What are you three staring at?”
Frowning, Pheniks swung his gaze over our family before landing it on me, and with a gasp, his eyes went wide. Hell, I wanted to run. I wanted to flee another rejection, but something held me in place while my brother’s face morphed into… delight?
“Zae!” he shouted.
Pheniks vaulted over the back of the sofa, and before I could analyze the best way to repulse him, he’d pulled me to his chest, squeezing me while pounding my back. This additional abuse to my recently healed spine made it complain, but I barely noticed that.
Hesitantly, I made to return my brother’s embrace, half-afraid that he’d come to the same conclusion as the rest of my family in the time it would take me to finish it. As I’d thought, he pulled away before I could get my arms around him, and panic fluttered in my throat.
“Mother Time, I’m glad you’re here,” Pheniks said. “I thought you wouldn’t come.”
He wanted me here. My brother was treating me the same as he had before the disruption to our lives.
I lost track of time, but I couldn’t blame my addlement on an injury today. I’d been set into a swirling drift of wonderful, soul-wrenching emotions, and I didn’t make a single attempt to escape it.
I was barely aware of holding Pheniks to me, doing my best to curl over him—Mother Time, when had he gotten so tall?—and refusing to let go, even when he started squirming. I was half-aware of him speaking.
“Zae? Zae! What are you-? Ow! Damn, when did you get so stro…? Holy shit, are you *crying?* What’s the matter? Wh-?”
But then, I overrode him.
“Did you miss me? Did any of you even think about me?” I gasped. “You were always on my mind. On every birthday. Every time I had to do something I didn’t… every time I limped home with my body broken and shattered. Every fucking day and you- you-”
Shrieking realization ripped through me, and I roughly released Pheniks, spinning away from him. Hunching on myself, I squeezed my eyes closed, rapidly clenching and unclenching my hands. When I could, I cleared my throat.
“My apologies, Pheniks,” I said. “You should be celebrating your House naming, and I’m not…”
Forcibly relaxing, I opened my eyes, leeching emotion from my voice.
“I shouldn’t have come.”
I took a step to leave, barely stopping myself from reacting with violence when someone took hold of my shoulder.
“You being here is the best House naming gift I could possibly receive,” Pheniks said. “Don’t go.”
I’d love to spend time with him, but I wasn’t sure how long our parents or sister would tolerate-
“Zae, I’m sorry,” Feena said. “Please, stay. Please.”
I’d gained an acceptable number of allies, enough to change my mind about leaving at least. All the same, I should warn them.
“I’m not the same person you knew. You might not like me now.”
“Mother Time, Zaeden, quit being ridiculous,” Pheniks said. “Find a seat and relax. I was just telling mom about House Cerullis’ most recent report on their exploration of the planet’s mantle.”
“That sounds…”
Boring as hell.
“Interesting,” I said.
“Right?” Pheniks chirped. “So, come on. Where would you like to sit?”
At the insistent tug on my shoulder, I turned to examine the room. Mom was on her feet by the fire, blocking access to Feena from me, and while my sister had moved out of the corner with her expression more welcoming, dad still had his arms crossed. Apparently, my parents had yet to be convinced that I was anything less than a monster, come to brutally murder them, but dad was… kind enough to relinquish the defensible position he’d taken. As I passed him, I nodded my thanks before leaning against the wall.
Feena took up the spot that mom had abandoned beside Pheniks, and he resumed his explanation of the report. I half-listened, watching my parents creep toward me.
What could they possibly want?
***[TTS Chapter Twenty-Three](https://hischosenfuture.com/attachments/119)***
# Chapter 24: Perhaps I'm a Good Brother 2
I wondered what my parents wanted. Would they ask me to leave, taking the danger that I represented elsewhere? Or perhaps they planned to beg for their children’s lives.
They gave me plenty of space, whether to gain an advantage on me or to give me an avenue of escape, I couldn’t say. Unfortunately, this distance meant that we couldn’t speak out loud without interrupting Pheniks, so we relied on our array’s translation of our sub-vocals instead.
“We didn’t forget you,” mom said.
What? Why on earth-?
Right. What I’d said in my emotional state.
“Oh?”
I gave her nothing more, which had her shifting in place.
“We acted like you’d died because in a way, you had,” mom said. “One day, you’ll take over for the current *Lokke Vitras,* and when that happens, Zaeden will cease to exist. You’ll have to abandon your ties with loved ones, and we thought you’d prefer to do that sooner rather than later.”
Great. I’d heard this line of reasoning a thousand times before, but it had never come from someone I could argue with.
“I’m not forbidden love,” I said, “and I have no intention of giving it or you up.”
“You say that now,” dad said. “What if your loved ones become a threat to Lutov, though? Will you fail in your duty so you can satisfy your own needs?”
“Sacrifice self, dad. It’s the first part of the *Lokke Vitras…* oath, we’ll call it,” I said. “You’ve posed a good point, though. I’ll have to consider it.”
My parents shivered, and I was wondering what had caused it when mom came to my side and took my hand.
“We love you, Zaeden, and we want what’s best for you,” she said, “but we’re limited in how we can show that by the constraints of who you are now.”
“And we love them too,” dad said.
He nodded to Feena and Pheniks, who were immersed in their conversation, and I knew what he was trying to say. If they were right and I couldn’t have loved ones because they might endanger Lutov, then I should leave them now instead of later. I should become the dead, middle sibling.
When my parents looked at me with tight eyes, I let my gaze slide off of them.
“Understood,” I said.
Mom squeezed my hand, but then, she and dad moved far away from me, and surrounded by people, I was alone. I’d been here many times before but never with people who were important to me, and that… hurt.
Eventually, someone mentioned that we should get some sleep if we wanted to be prepared for tomorrow. So, we exchanged good nights—although mine were made awkward, no matter how smoothly I tried to give them—before separating for the evening, or I thought that was what we’d done. I was proven wrong when Feena hurried to catch up with me after the others had disappeared.
“Can I speak with you?” she asked.
Odd question.
“Since when have you needed to ask me that?” I said.
“Fair,” Feena said, rubbing the back of her neck. “I thought you might be busy with something.”
What could I have to do besides…?
Wait. Did she think I had House business in the city? If I did, I certainly wouldn’t be staying in such a compromised, emotionally fraught location while doing it. But then again…
“You have no idea what I’ve been up to for the last six years, do you?” I said with a laugh tugging on my lips.
“How exactly am I *supposed* to know?” Feena snapped. “You’ve never sent us messages, so we’ve had to rely on possible *Lokke Vitras* sightings to have an inkling of just your damn location, let alone-”
“I’ve been in the Southern Fells when I’m not on a mission,” I said. “But no, I’m not busy. *Evushk* gave me time so I could attend Phen’s House naming ceremony.”
*“Evushk?”*
Oh, yes. Dad had had this same problem. Sometimes, I forgot that *evushk* was the opposite of a teacher in everyone else’s mind.
“Your First Stratus, Feena,” I said.
She stopped short, and puzzled, I watched her until she clasped her hands in front of her face.
“That’s right! You know the *Lokke Vitras,”* she said with her eyes shining. “What’s he like?”
When had she gotten over her fear of talking about him?
Cocking my head, I considered how best to answer her. *Evushk* wouldn’t like me disclosing details about him, private as he was, but I’d like to share something with Feena. Maybe if I gave her a single word, he wouldn’t be upset by it. What was the best word to describe him, though?
The answer to that question came to me so quickly that it spawned a fierce grin on my face.
“Quiet,” I said.
Continuing toward my room, I chuckled under my breath at the confused noise that rose from behind me, and when she drew alongside me again, Feena cast a dubious glace my way.
“The *Lokke Vitras,* a one-man army and the cause of nightmarish amounts of chaos, is quiet?” she said.
“Mmhmm. Sometimes, the estate goes for days without a sound,” I said. “Well, except for the ones that Ace makes.”
Feena had to know that I was trying to change the subject, but she allowed it anyway.
“Ace?”
“Our dog,” I said. “No, that’s not right. Ace is *my* dog. *Evushk* brought him home soon after I moved to his estate.”
If Feena’s gaze had been dubious before, it had become accusatory disbelief now.
“The *Lokke Vitras* got you a dog,” she said.
“Sure,” I said. “Ace was the first step in my training.”
For some reason, this assertion closed Feena’s face off.
“How so?” she asked.
Hmm. I didn’t know if I could answer that question. Could someone besides the *Lokke Vitras* know the details of my training?
I found the idea likely. The people who held the position of the *Lokke Vitras* met unexpected ends quite frequently, so spreading the knowledge of how to train a new one made sense. Still, my sister didn’t seem like the type of person who’d need to know-
Feena raced around me to grab my arms with her lips peeled back and her eyes sparking.
“What did he make you do?” she growled.
Why was she so upset? More importantly, if I refused to answer her question, what would Feena do? Would she decide that our parents had been right about me?
If my training was supposed to be kept secret, it wasn’t worth distancing her over.
“When *evushk* brought Ace home as a puppy, he ordered me to maim the dog,” I said with a shrug. “I refused, which was what he’d wanted. He needed to know if I was a monster before making me into one.”
That hadn’t been Ace’s only purpose. At the time, I’d been sent reeling by the sudden change in my life and the death of my dreams. I’d needed *something* to hold onto, a companion to help ease me into my new role, and that was what Ace had become.
I’d never been sure if *evushk* had meant to grant me such kindness with his gift. What I did know was that he’d been much more lenient in my training than he should have been. I’d seen flics of other people in my position, so I knew what the training of a potential *Lokke Vitras* was supposed to look like. Over the years I’d spent with him, there was no doubt in my mind that my *evushk* had deviated from this tried-and-true route.
That wasn’t to say that he’d never been harsh with me, of course. Given what the *Lokke Vitras* was meant to handle and represent, I didn’t think anyone could undergo the training to become one without some element of horror included in it.
Having heard my answer, Feena loosened her grip on me, but the intensity of her gaze never softened.
“If he gave you that same order now, what would you do?” she asked.
That was an… uncomfortable question for many reasons. Besides the obvious, it brushed up against my current inability to end a life, and… I didn’t know whether to be honest with Feena about this. She wouldn’t like what I had to say.
Maybe I could hedge my way out of answering her.
“It would depend on the circumstances,” I said.
Feena dug her fingernails into my arms.
“So, you might break a puppy’s legs on command?” she snarled.
With my lips going thin, I knocked her hands off of me.
“If refusing to do it endangered Lutov in some, frankly, bizarre way, then yes. I would. Without hesitation,” I said. “But I would look for another solution to the problem first. I would hate myself while doing it, and afterward, I would care for the poor thing. Why are you asking me this, Feena? Are you that eager to see how much I’ve changed?”
Gaping, she wouldn’t answer me, and with a click of my tongue, I skirted around her.
What had I been thinking, giving her honesty? Believing that I could be myself around anyone besides the one man who understood me was naïve.
It was fine, though. Lesson learned. From now on, I’d use a persona when around my family. Where in my head had I left the blueprint for the one that I’d discarded years ago?
While I tried to remember how that Zaeden had acted, I turned into my room, starting a more thorough search of it once inside. Feena entered behind me, but I didn’t speak a word to her. Not only would my persona take much longer to assume than normal, considering how long it had been since I’d last used it, but I didn’t know what else I could say right now. She needed a night to digest my given truth before I could deconstruct her new perceptions of me.
She’d never gotten around to telling me what she’d first needed. Maybe that was why she’d followed me.
“What are you doing?” she asked in a small voice.
When I glanced at her, Feena was hugging herself while biting a lip, and I shook my head. If I made her that uncomfortable, then why was she here?
“I’m checking for traps and poisons,” I said. “I didn’t have time to do it earlier.”
“You think one of us would *poison* you?” Feena squeaked.
Chuckling, I started rearranging items in the room so I’d know whether someone had searched it. Thank Mother Time I had monitors for faux windows, leaving the door as this place’s only access point.
“That’s always a possibility, but I highly doubt it would happen,” I said. “It’s more likely that someone snuck into this apartment, whether today or years ago, to set a trap. My identity as the *Lokke Vitras* to come isn’t common knowledge, but a handful of people know about it. If I’ve made enemies among them, they might look for a place like this to surprise me. The scenario is again, unlikely, but it pays to be prepared when you’re someone like me.”
Feena coughed.
“Zae, this is Xygek,” she said. “No one will try to kill you here.”
“Do you know how many murderers I’ve brought in from this city alone?” I said. “Lutov isn’t the paradise that we’ve been led to believe. It comes close, but the system still has flaws, mostly human in nature.”
Finished with everything I could do while Feena was in the room, I faced her.
“Now, what do you want?” I asked.
She was pressing her hand to her scalp, yanking on her hair, and a hint of panic had infected her eyes. I was surprised she hadn’t started hyperventilating yet.
“Just… give me a second,” she gasped.
While she went through a calming technique, I hopped onto my bed, glancing through messages in my array. Nothing of consequence was waiting for me there, but I liked to go through them when I found spare time. Otherwise, they started piling up.
“So, you still do that,” Feena said.
She’d sounded less panicked, thank Mother Time. When someone looked like they needed comfort, I’d always hated when they asked for space instead, even if I still complied with their request.
Without bothering to focus, I asked, “Do what?”
“You were humming,” Feena said, “tapping your fingers on invisible piano keys. You used to do that when you were bored.”
Lowering my hands, I met my sister’s eyes.
“I’m still your brother. Still your obnoxious Zaeden,” I say. “I just… grew up. Had some new behaviors piled on the old.”
Holding her breath, Feena closed her eyes tight, pursing her lips, before releasing a long sigh. As she snapped her eyes open, she pushed off of the wall that she’d been leaning against.
“You’re right. Seeing you like this… it was quite a shock, but I should have expected it, given everything you must have experienced over these last few years. You even warned us that things had changed earlier,” she said. “So, I’m sorry. Will you forgive me?”
Reconciling with her had been easier than expected. I was tempted to be suspicious of it but… what was the point of that?
In response, I patted the sheets beside me, and with a hesitant smile, Feena sat where indicated, quickly collapsing to her back.
“So?” I asked.
She’d know what I meant. What had she wanted to talk about? I had my theories, but I was curious which, if any, would be right.
“It’s about the family tradition,” Feena said.
“The climbing a tower to jump off of it thing?” I asked.
Nodding, Feena said, “I was planning to do it with Phen tonight, what with you being…”
She vaguely gestured.
“But here you are, and by custom, taking him through that ritual is your responsibility. You could take over for me, if you were so inclined.”
After watching her for a moment, I flopped to lie beside my sister.
“I’m not,” I said.
Feena started protesting, and I lifted a finger above us to silence her.
“Let’s do it together,” I said.
Her breathing hiccupped, and the next thing I knew, my sister was smothering me, digging her elbows and hip bones into uncomfortable places.
“Thank you,” she breathed.
“-welcome,” I managed to grunt. “Feena…”
I gently shoved her, and when she rolled off of me, relieving pressure, I hissed, clutching at my chest and gut.
“What is it?” Feena asked. “Are you hurt?”
Shaking my head, I said, “Sore. Rapid regeneration drugs don’t work as well on me anymore. I’ve used them too many times, but that’s a story for another day. Let’s focus on Phen. What’s the plan?”
Distractedly humming, Feena popped up on an elbow with an evil smile in place.
“So, I’ve changed a few details from when I did this with you…”
***[TTS Chapter Twenty-Four](https://hischosenfuture.com/attachments/120)***
# Chapter 25: Perhaps I'm a Good Brother 3
The tower that we siblings were standing in front of had a much shorter profile on the horizon than the one Feena had told me to climb years ago, and rather than flat panes of glass for walls, this one had stone accents and balconies, among other things, to serve as hand and footholds. In addition, a sack of mag hooks was already sitting at Pheniks’ feet, and still, he had his arms crossed while a yawn ruined his scowl.
He was much less enthusiastic with his protests than I’d been, looking between the sack and the top of the tower before asking.
“Why?”
Feena was getting frustrated, I could tell, so I stepped in for her.
“People in our family have been doing this for generations, right?” I said. “Each of them made a record of their time to reach the top, hoping to see what contributes more toward their speed. Is it body type or intelligence? We’d like to add your data to the pool.”
“Hmm.”
Pheniks rubbed his chin before jerking his head in a nod.
“All right,” he said. “When does my time start?”
“As soon as you pick up the sack,” Feena said, playing along. “It’ll stop when your feet hit the top of the tower.”
“Fine.”
Before he grabbed the pack, Pheniks glared at us.
“I can’t believe you two woke me up for this,” he said.
Then, he was off, racing for the tower. We watched his progress for a while, steadily moving our eyes up.
“Nice idea, making this an experiment for him,” Feena said.
“He would never have responded to a contest,” I said. “Why would he participate in something he knows he won’t win?”
Grunting, Feena said, “Is there a record of times?”
“I hope so, or Phen’s going to kill me,” I said, cocking my head. “You might have made it too easy for him, sister.”
Pheniks was already a third of the way to the top, and his considerable talent with calculating probability alone wouldn’t account for that much progress.
“Let’s face it, Zae. Phen’s not House Kolb material,” Feena said. “If he chooses our House, he’ll be low or mid Strata for his whole life.”
“Well, whichever House he picks, I hope it isn’t Cerullis,” I said. “If everything I’ve heard is true, that House is in for a rude awakening sometime in the next few years.”
Feena whipped her head to me.
“What-?”
But I held up a finger while my array gave me a distance estimate between Pheniks and his goal.
“We should go if we want to make it there before him,” I said. “We do want that, right?”
“Hell, yes,” Feena said, reaching for her bag of mag hooks.
With an innocent smile, I said, “How would you feel about making our climb more interesting?”
Slowly straightening, Feena narrowed her eyes at me.
“Why do I get the feeling I’m going to regret saying yes?” she said. “Ok. What are the stakes?”
“First one to the top gets three drinks with the loser whenever they want, no matter what the loser’s doing at the time,” I said.
“Except if it’s House business, right?” Feena asked.
My smile flattened.
“Yes,” I said, “except for that.”
If Feena had heard how dead my voice had gone there, she made no comment on it. She considered my suggestion for a moment before sticking her hand out.
“Stakes proposed,” I said as I took it.
“Stakes accepted,” Feena said with a quick handshake.
Once that was done, she jerked on my arm, and I let her force me into a stumble. Feena hauled ass for the tower, flashing up it once she’d reached its base, but I approached it more slowly, pulling my one mag hook from the pocket where I’d tucked it earlier. Squinting up the side of the building, I waited for my array to tag several viable attraction points along the top.
I was especially proud of this process as I’d written it myself. After a mission years ago, I’d needed something to do while waiting a day, alone, for permission to come home. While it might not be that different from other processes, used for extraction purposes, it had proven itself rather useful in its own way, and I was once more grateful for it, even if it would only win me a bet tonight.
After I'd selected one of my choices, I aimed my mag hook, the attraction between it and a point overhead set before magnifying, and I shot into the air, angling into wind gusts when they hit me. When I passed Feena, I had my tongue stuck out, and she shrieked after me. So, it was with a satisfied smirk that I flipped over the tower top’s safety railing once my mag hook slammed into its attraction point.
I was sitting on it with my legs swinging when my sister reached the top. As she stormed toward me, I held my hand, palm up, toward her.
“Peanut?” I asked.
A single nut was waiting for her there, and snatching it from me, Feena hurled it into the night, panting when she spun on me.
Jabbing a finger in my face, she growled, “Using your bullshit high Stratus tech is cheating.”
Gripping the railing, I leaned as far back on it as I could without falling, keeping a grin in place.
“Is it?” I asked. “I don’t remember discussing anything like that while on the ground.”
With fists at her sides, Feena glared at me more fiercely than before while her face turned red.
“If I pushed you right now,” she hissed, “what would happen?”
“I’d activate my P.I.G and fly back up, probably laughing all the while,” I said.
Leaping atop the railing, I pushed off of it, and with a flip, I landed nose-to-nose with my sister, keeping my arms outstretched.
“Did you miss me?” I asked.
For some reason, this made Feena’s eyes fill with tears.
“More than you can know,” she said.
Fortunately, Pheniks saved me from having to reply, reaching the top of the tower in a sweaty mess at that moment.
“Phen!” I shouted. “You made it!”
Casting a sour look our way, Pheniks finished climbing over the railing before tumbling to the floor. When he got to his feet, he brushed himself off.
“How long have you two been here?” he asked.
“Maybe a minute,” Feena said. “You did great, Phen! Amazing, actually.”
“Don’t patronize me,” Pheniks grumbled.
“She’s not,” I said. “She didn’t give you enough mag hooks to reach the top, not with them alone. You should have gotten stuck a few floors down.”
Pheniks’ face brightened.
“Oh… is that why they ran out of power?” he said. “I thought you’d forgotten to charge them. It’s a good thing I carry extra reserves with me, or one of you might’ve had to rescue me.”
Mother Time, when would he stop slinking in our shadows? When would he realize how brilliant he was?
“I never doubted you for a second,” I said, meaning every word.
Flushing, Pheniks ducked his head, kicking at the floor, and Feena started rummaging through her sack for the equipment that the two of them would soon need.
“So, I’m assuming we’ll compare results on the ground. How are we getting there?” Pheniks said. “No doubt the building’s locked, but surely one of you could break us in.”
“We could,” I said, “or we could take the fun way down.”
While Feena held two Propulsion Initiation Gears up, I activated my modified P.I.G., letting metal unfold from the backs of my hands and heels. Everything read ready in my array, but as always, I did a test lift to make sure each piece was working properly.
When I landed, I said, “All a go.”
Pheniks and Feena were still waiting for the P.I.G.s to unfurl.
“Damn, that was fast,” Pheniks said. “Do you wear this thing all the time?”
“No, of course not,” I said, scrunching up my face. “I had one with me. While Feena was waking you up, I placed its attachments.”
Frowning, Pheniks said, “Why did you have a P.I.G. with you?”
Striding to my brother, I ruffled his hair before placing a hand on his chest.
“I am the *Lokke Vitras* to come,” I said. “Preparedness is part of my job.”
I activated the propulsor on the palm pressed against Pheniks’ chest, and while I stumbled back a step, already ready for the discharge of power, my brother flew over the railing before plummeting toward the ground.
***[TTS Chapter Twenty-Five](https://hischosenfuture.com/attachments/121)***
# Chapter 26: Perhaps I'm a Good Brother 4
Clicking her tongue, Feena whacked the back of my head.
“Inspiring speech?” she snapped.
“He’ll get it on the ground,” I said. “Same park as before?”
“Yep.”
Together, we vaulted into the open air, pushing our P.I.G.s so we could close the distance to Pheniks. He was flailing, obviously in the grips of panic, so I cut power for a moment to snatch him to me.
*Focus, Phen,* I sent to him.
Once he’d stopped struggling, I dispatched another message.
*Follow us.*
I took the lead, dropping through air traffic without my array’s help. The visceral fear that I always felt this high up had become an irritant in my head rather than something debilitating, but with too many drops completed over the years, the ecstasy I’d once felt while doing this had faded as well.
Even still, I’d admit that soaring through Xygek was quite beautiful. I fell between towers, and only the sheer impressiveness of the city kept me from getting bored.
Or maybe that was because I’d distanced myself from emotions like boredom. Or I could have unconsciously regulated my hormones.
I couldn’t tell what had turned me so numb. When it came to this drop, though, my only wish was that Pheniks got a taste of the joy that I’d once had, even as I worried that he’d only let panic and anger rule him.
Once I’d landed, I scanned the park while my P.I.G. retreated to its attachment points, and when my siblings reached the ground, Pheniks leaned on his knees, panting, which made me wince.
But then, he sprang upright, shaking his fists in front of his face with twinkling eyes.
“That. was. *awesome!”* he shouted. “I never want to do it again, but fuck! That rush!”
Twirling in place, he collapsed with his chest heaving, and hugging my elbows, I let warmth swirl in me before catching Feena’s gaze and glancing down. In half a minute, all of us were lying in the grass, making a three-pointed star with our heads at its center. For a while, we enjoyed the silence, but it couldn’t last.
“So, what was that about?” Pheniks asked. “Or was it just to make me lose sleep before my House naming?”
And the floor was unintentionally given to me.
Ever since *evushk* had asked if I wanted to attend Pheniks’ House naming ceremony, I’d known this might happen, and I’d given serious thought to what I’d say, but after our little tradition—after seeing how Pheniks had handled it—everything I’d considered had become useless. I needed time to gather my thoughts, so I provided him with a distraction.
“We’ll get to that in a moment. Let me catch my breath,” I said. “In the meantime, here’s my House naming gift to you. You may ask me *one* question about what my life has been like for the last six years, and I will answer it as honestly and with as many details as I can.”
I knew he must be curious about that. Pheniks had always loved learning about anything that he found unusual, which he probably perceived my new life to be.
My siblings gained enough height to peer down at me.
“Really?” Pheniks asked. “Isn’t your stuff super confidential?”
“It can be,” I said. “So, I suggest that you avoid asking about my missions.”
Pheniks looked thoughtful, staring at something in the distance.
“What’s it like?” he eventually asked. “Being who you are, I mean. When you’re not off saving Lutov, do you see many people, and how do they treat you? Do you like it?”
He’d asked much more than one question, but since they all ran in the same vein, I let it go.
“When we have no missions, *evushk* and I mostly keep to ourselves on his estate,” I said, “although if we need to get out, we might hike to Lake Phiabe.”
“Wait. Lake Phiabe?” Pheniks interrupted. “In the Southern Fells? Why would the *Lokke Vitras* live in that wet, miserable region of Lutov?”
I snorted. Of course Pheniks would agree with the most commonly held opinion of the place that had become my home.
“I like it. There’s something… lonely about the land, something that calls to us both,” I said before pausing. “Anyway, I don’t often see other people because *evushk* keeps me away from social events. For now, not many Lutovish know about my identity, and we want it to stay that way for as long as possible.
“During the few times I’ve been in public with him, people don’t do much more than stare, but of course they do. What else would a citizen do in the presence of the legendary *Lokke Vitras?*
“I’ve always found that attention… interesting. The operative in me hates it but other parts…”
Shrugging, I fell silent. I didn’t know if I could share anything else, but Pheniks seemed satisfied with my answer.
Cocking his head, he said, “You’re lonely? That’s unusual for you. Are you not seeing someone? Or some*ones,* I guess.”
I blinked. Out of everything I’d said, he’d fixated on that topic? He’d asked the most dangerous question that he could of me right now.
“You’re right,” I cautiously said. “It is unusual for me.”
“So, you *are* seeing-?”
“Don’t ask it, Phen,” I said.
“But I just-”
Spinning to my knees, I towered over my brother. He didn’t know what he was asking, didn’t know how if even a breath of it reached my enemies’ ears, it could see me killed, but it didn’t matter. I had to squash Pheniks’ curiosity before he escalated this.
So, I pretended like he’d hit a nerve. Clenching my hands into fists, I bared my teeth.
“Don’t ask,” I snarled.
The smallest spark of fear sprang to life in him, which I hated seeing, but what else was I supposed to do? Let him know something so life threatening?
Feena carefully circled my wrist with her fingers.
“He only wants to know if you’re happy,” she said.
Happy? What did happiness have to do with anything?
Relaxing, I sat cross-legged between my siblings, rubbing my eyes.
“Sorry,” I said. “That’s a sore subject for me.”
“I can tell,” Pheniks said with a nervous laugh. “Feena’s right, though. I only want to know if you’re ok. So, are you?”
That was a question I’d never thought to ask myself, so I took a moment to ponder it now, even with Feena and Pheniks shifting beside me.
“Sometimes, I am. Sometimes, I’m not,” I said with a shrug. “The same as all humans.”
“But overall?” Feena asked.
Damn, they wouldn’t stop poking at this would they?
I lowered my gaze from my siblings’ faces, watching as I dug my fingernails into my palm.
“Sacrifice self. It’s the first part of the *Lokke Vitras* mantra. Whether or not I’m happy has no bearing because I do not matter. I’m a tool and a shield for Lutov with my identity drowned in my role, and tools don’t have feelings,” I said. “I’m not the *Lokke Vitras* yet, though, so I suppose I should answer your question, but the honest truth is…”
As I slowly released a breath, I uncurled my fingers, and through the hair falling into my eyes, I looked up at my siblings.
“I don’t know,” I said.
For a moment, they couldn’t move from the horrified statues that they’d become, and I couldn’t speak to comfort them.
When I’d broken free of what had frozen me, though, I said, “Don’t look so glum. I’m alive and well enough. What else matters? Let’s set this depressing subject aside. I’ve caught my breath. Phen, you wanted to know the reason for our little tradition?”
“But… Zae!” Pheniks sputtered.
I shook my head to stop further protests.
“Tonight is supposed to be about *you,”* I said. “I’m sorry I dragged attention to myself, even if unintentionally. My problems will be here next week, but you’re about to go through your House naming, something that will only happen once in your life. So, please. Let us make you our focus.”
Pheniks glanced at Feena, and she nodded at him with a smile, but her fierce grip on my knee told me we weren’t done with this conversation. For a time, I’d have to avoid her, then, but that should be easy enough. I’d been doing it for the last six years.
“Ok, then,” Pheniks said. “What’s with the climbing and falling?”
“For a while, I think it was just a spot of fun, something to relieve tension before an incredibly serious event,” I said, “but Feena and I started a new tradition during my House naming, one where she told me something that I needed to hear, and now, it’s my turn to do the same for you.”
Pheniks had drawn away from me, perhaps afraid of what I’d say, but he should be. No one liked hearing the truth, especially about themselves.
“Hit me,” he said with a quavering voice.
I faced my brother, clasping my hands in my lap.
“Pheniks, you have one of the most brilliant minds I’ve come across,” I said. “You solve problems in ways that no one else could conceive of and make connections that no one else would. You are the mind that overshadows our family’s martial skill and—”
Leaning forward, I rested my hands on his shoulders.
“—you would be wasted in House Kolb.”
While his face drained of color, Pheniks worked his jaw, trying to speak, and I waited for him to decide how he’d respond.
“I’m capable enough for Kolb,” he said.
Nodding, I dropped my hands back into my lap.
“You are. You’d probably make it to Fifth or Sixth Stratus in that House,” I said, “but you wouldn’t be happy.”
“You just said happiness doesn’t matter,” Pheniks snapped.
“For me, little brother,” I said. “For you, it is everything.”
“But- but-”
Seizing his arms, I forced him to meet my eyes.
“Listen to me,” I said. “Your family will always love you. Your family will support the decisions you make. Your family will be proud of you, no matter which House you choose.”
“But… Kolb is…”
Pheniks slid his gaze off of me.
“No matter which House, Phen,” Feena echoed at my side.
I tightened my grip on his arms, and he winced, but I couldn’t loosen my fingers. This was too important. He had to know. He had to have what I’d never received.
“Tomorrow, you will make a decision that will be yours and yours alone,” I said. “Don’t let anything, not family, not so-called obligations, not…”
In my mind’s eye, doors banged open, and the *Lokke Vitras* came to claim me.
“Nothing should influence you. Choose the House that will make you happy, and *fuck* everything else. Do. you. understand. me?”
“I do, Zae. Let me- Ow! Let me go, please.”
Jumping, I returned to the present, where my brother was grimacing and I was clawing into his arms. When I released him, he rubbed where I’d been holding him, and I knew I’d left fingermarks behind.
“Sorry,” I said. “Seems all I can do is apologize tonight.”
With a faint smile, Pheniks leaned forward to cuff the back of my head.
“Stop it,” he said. “You only wanted to make sure I was listening, and I was. You told me what I needed to hear. Thank you. Really, Zae. I was worried that I’d get abandoned if I strayed from the family’s House.”
“Never,” I said.
“And thus, the tradition continues,” Feena grumbled through a yawn. “You done?”
Why was she so abruptly asking-?
Oh. Duh. They were probably exhausted.
“Will you get Phen home?” I asked. “He needs to be somewhat rested before tomorrow, yes?”
“What about you?” Feena said.
Mother Time, it was cute that she’d worry about me like that. Leaning back on my hands, I smirked at her.
“I’ll be all right,” I said. “I’m going to take a walk. Clear my head after… everything.”
I waved overhead, and after a long, piercing stare, Feena nodded.
“Come on, Phen,” she said, climbing to her feet. “Our P.I.G.s won’t have enough juice to get us to our tier, so we’ll have to use lifts and plasma bridges.”
“Like regular people?” Pheniks gasped in mock horror. “How dare you suggest such a thing!”
He accepted Feena’s help up, and together, they looked down at me.
“We’ll see you tomorrow?” Pheniks asked.
“Unless something comes up, yes,” I said. “Good night, my wonderful siblings.”
They mumbled their own farewells, and I watched them stroll across the park. As expected, they started chatting once they were out of a normal person’s hearing range.
“I’m worried about him,” Pheniks said.
“So am I,” Feena said, “but this is Zaeden we’re talking about. He’ll be fine eventually, right?”
“Maybe. You know he’s always been a little more… blasé when it comes to things that are hurting him,” Pheniks said. “He did a good job tonight, though. Tomorrow doesn’t seem so bad now.”
“I’m glad to hear it,” Feena said, hugging him from the side. “What, no words of praise for my performance?”
“I was… You…”
Pheniks’ sputtering voice quickly fell into an indistinguishable murmur.
For a while, I didn’t move, keeping my eyes centered on where they’d disappeared while trying to get a handle on everything that this long day had created in me. My motionlessness wasn’t helping with those efforts, though, setting my knee jittering against the ground, so eventually, I stood, stretching, and restlessness pushed me into the city.
***[TTS Chapter Twenty-Six](https://hischosenfuture.com/attachments/122)***
# Chapter 27: Or Maybe a Decent Partner 1
Xygek’s ground level was reserved for the middle Strata: Sixth through Eighth. Most people in those Strata weren’t afforded the luxury of a skycruiser, and while walking and taking shuttles were easy modes of transit in the city, they weren’t the fastest.
On the other hand, the cycles that most middle Strata owned could zip around city blocks like their flying cousins, but only if they had enough room to do so, something they wouldn’t find in the crowded tiers above. Ground level, however, offered space aplenty.
Ground level also had easy access to Lake Voxmore and the many cabanas that lined its south-eastern shore. In addition, decent clumps of nature blocked out the towers here. While the city might be impressive, looking at nothing but metal, day after day, gradually dampened the spirit, and the greenery found here helped to alleviate that.
Meanwhile, the middle chunk of the city’s tiers was relegated to the low Strata: Ninth through Twelfth, and people who’d been stripped of House. Since cycles didn’t have room to maneuver there, getting anywhere took much longer than on ground level or the upper city, and although those tiers did have parks, they weren’t as plentiful or large.
And of course, the high Strata claimed the heights.
Honestly, there wasn’t much difference between the tiers. They were all lovely in their own way. Ground level and the upper tiers just had a few additional benefits, small rewards given to those who had the aptitude or work ethic needed to advance in Strata.
Everyone in Lutov, even those who’d been stripped of House, was cared for. Everyone was given what they needed to live comfortably.
Well. Everyone but the exiled, people whose crimes were great enough to have their citizenship revoked or who wouldn’t advance Lutovish society in one way or another. Like, for instance, a boy who might refuse to choose a House.
Absently strolling along ground level’s pathways, I dodged the people meandering down the streets at this midnight hour, digesting the day’s events. My homecoming had been a whirlwind with a surprise around every corner, and I’d anticipated none of it. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d had to bend and stretch my behavior so much because my targets hadn’t behaved as expected. I didn’t like the sensation.
Of course, today’s targets hadn’t actually been *targets* but my family, and I’d gone into the situation unprepared, having done no research and chosen no persona because of who they were. I hadn’t thought six years could change the family dynamic. I hadn’t thought I’d need to use a persona with them.
I still wasn’t sure if showing them the real me had been the right thing to do. I wasn’t sure what I should do tomorrow.
So, I wrote a message.
*That went well. I think,* it read.
I sent it at the lowest of priorities in case *evushk* was asleep. There was no need to wake him up over my dilemma, although he probably wouldn’t mind if I did.
While I waited for a reply, I stopped at a street-facing shop that was closing for the night. The vendor gave me the last of her meat pockets, and as I thanked her, waving farewell, I wondered which House she belonged to.
People who didn’t fit into the Houses’ specialties were, in essence, turned over to the community for its use, and said community decided how these people could best fill the many jobs that the Houses didn’t govern. But these misfits still claimed a House, any of them except for Kolb.
Then again, the other Houses weren’t like Kolb. With that House, one’s Stratus determined one’s job, ensuring missions were completed by someone who could do them.
The other Houses let their members choose how they’d work to benefit Lutov. Stratus merely determined the amount of House-specific information that a member had access to. Yes, the hard working and talented were usually the ones who held a higher Stratus level, but those same high Stratus members might work the most menial of jobs.
With Kolb, though, a member could refuse elevation to a higher Stratus, a member could hop about Lutov as much as they damn well pleased, and a member could refuse assigned missions, although that freedom got taken away the further one was elevated. House Kolb members had the most say in their lives, if not their jobs.
Unless one was high Stratus.
A message blinked into my array, and I swept it into center-field.
*It did go well. I saw everything. I’m happy for you,* kuvesk.
On reading that, my step faltered. Everything? He hadn’t monitored me that extensively since my first year with him. Had he been worried I’d say something that I shouldn’t?
*Did I share too much? I didn’t know what else to say.*
After sending that message, I took a bite of my meat pocket. It had gone cold, but even still, I devoured the rest. The taste of it came nowhere close to *evushk’s* cooking, but there was something about city food that couldn’t be replicated.
Besides, I’d had much worse fare than this before.
The reply to my message came in.
*No, you gave out exactly as much information as you should have. I wish you hadn’t needed to share anything about me or your training, but I knew it might happen when I sent you to Xygek. I also knew you wouldn’t share more than you must.*
Frowning, I deposited my waste into a recycler before shoving my hands in my pockets. If he’d thought I could keep my mouth shut, then why had he been watching me today? He had to know I could have gotten away from my family, if the situation had taken a turn for the worse. So, why…?
I stumbled when a theory hit me.
Evushk, *you offered me the apartment to use if needed. You did it so readily that I’m curious if before I left home, you thought I might need it. Were you worried about ME today and how I’d handle my family’s possible rejection?*
I chuckled as I sent the message. He probably wouldn’t appreciate my snark this late at night, but I couldn’t help myself. The idea was ridiculous, after all. In the six years that I’d known *evushk,* I’d never seen him show emotion except… except when it didn’t matter.
Purple light splashed over me, and I breathed in the night air. I was glad it was late. When getting ready for tonight’s activities, I’d changed into something more comfortable, an outfit that wouldn’t blend well with Xygek’s colorful crowds. Feena and Pheniks hadn’t commented on it, probably assuming it was stealth garb, but if it had been any earlier in the day, strangers would be staring at me right now.
It might have taken me months, but after *evushk* had whisked me away from my life, I’d gradually stopped using my persona around him, including how much it had striven to match Lutov’s fashion trends. My attire had switched to a black palette like his, if a little more body conforming.
He’d asked me once if I was mimicking him. That had been the first and only time I’d laughed at something he hadn’t said in jest.
I just liked black. It looked good on me, accenting every feature, and didn’t make my eyes hurt like bright colors did sometimes. I was comfortable in my lack of hue, so black was what I wore.
As I walked into the light of another shop’s neon sign, its red color washed over my wrists with a black cuff bordering it, and I flashed to a scene where I’d held my blood-soaked hands in front of my face, having failed to save someone *evushk* had wounded. My lungs filled with acid, and quickening my step, I hurried out from under the sign, even if the image it had invoked didn’t relent in its invasion of my mind.
A message’s arrival saved me from a silently shrieking descent into self-loathing.
*Breaking away from family is one of the last steps in a potential* Lokke Vitras’ *training. While it wasn’t the only reason why I sent you to the capital, I still knew that yours might abandon you with this visit, so I had the apartment ready, just in case.*
Ah. That made much more sense than what I’d been thinking, although it had taken him long enough to send a reply. I took just as long with mine, considering how to phrase it while meandering into an open space with no towers overhead.
*You think they’ll distance themselves? My siblings didn’t seem inclined to do so.*
Unsure if I’d want to read his answer when it arrived, I focused on the world beyond my array once more.
“Huh.”
I was standing in the center of the city with no idea of how I’d gotten there. Acceptance Arena lay somewhere in the park at my back, and the Houses’ headquarters rose on all sides, but the one I was facing confused me.
Cerullis. Why would my unconscious feet have brought me to the seat of power for Kolb’s most antagonistic sibling?
Slowly, I lifted my head, inspecting the building. It rose so high into the air that I momentarily wobbled while seeking the top. From the base, concrete covered its lower floors, tapering into a tower’s typical glass walls a fourth of the way up. Why had Cerullis kept an old-fashioned façade at the base of their headquarters?
Shaking my head, I skipped over windows and the illumination behind them, looking for the definitive mark of every House’s headquarters in Xygek. There. In the glow of the city’s light, gold glinted where rings of it were embedded in the building.
For how many times I’d visited Xygek, one would think I’d have seen this tower by now, but when I was in the city’s center, I was usually headed for House Kolb’s headquarters on the other side of the park, at least a kilometer away. Seeing it for the first time, I wasn’t surprised to learn that Cerullis’ tower wasn’t much different from the others across the city, just like its members were the same as any other Lutovish. I didn’t understand why Kolb was so gung-ho about hating-
A message sprang into my array right as someone jostled me hard enough that I had to spin to stay on my feet. Setting my stance, I got ready to draw a weapon if needed, but only babble greeted me from my accoster.
“Oh, hell. I’m sorry! I got lost in reviewing my presentation for tomorrow. I didn’t see you!”
I knew that voice.
Its owner got to his feet with many a wince while loose strands of blonde hair fell out of their knot at the back of his neck, and once he’d recovered enough that his purple eyes landed on me, my mouth went a little dry, but mostly, I was internally groaning. I couldn’t handle another emotional reunion today.
He froze halfway through brushing himself off, and I waited for him to make the first move.
“Zaeden?” he breathed.
He’d sounded… how had he sounded?
“Hey, Fyester,” I said. “How’ve you been?”
Taking a step toward me, Fyester hesitantly lifted a hand, which made me tense, but he only brushed my cheek like he couldn’t believe I was real.
“You’re ok,” he said.
Oh. I could work with this.
*Evushk’s* message, crowding into my view, got pushed into my unread pile. I’d get to it as soon as I was done here.
“You look good, Fy,” I said.
He was exactly as I remembered him, if with longer hair and worry lines around his eyes. Why hadn’t he gotten those smoothed out?
“So do you,” Fyester said.
Pushing me away, he ran his eyes over me.
“Damn, Zae, how did you get even more-?”
When he flushed, I grinned.
“Hazard of what I do,” I said.
Slumping a little, Fyester said, “Oh. Is that… why you’re here?”
Shit. Would people always be this suspicious of my intentions?
“No. I was out walking. Couldn’t sleep and my feet took me here,” I said.
“Ah.”
With Fyester shifting in place, the quiet between us rapidly plunged into awkward territory, but I didn’t know how to remedy that. I couldn’t spend any time with him outside of an inelegant hello, not with so much unresolved drama lying between us.
I should head for my parents’ apartment. I should *not* take this further.
Did I dare do it anyway?
“Look,” I hesitantly said. “Why don’t you get a drink with me? We can catch up.”
Fyester frowned.
“I don’t know,” he said. “Are any bars open this late?”
He wrinkled his nose in that endearing way that once told me he was concentrating on solving a problem, and I caught myself smiling. I smothered the expression as soon as I’d noticed it.
“One is. I know its lovely owner, so I usually get her best stuff,” I said, “but if you’d rather go home, I’ll understand. I’m sure you need your sleep.”
I wouldn’t need to find my own bed for a while yet. After years where I’d gotten little of it, sleeping for more than four or five hours at once felt strange. I usually caught what else I might need in patches throughout the day.
“I can come in late tomorrow,” Fyester said. “Mother Time, I haven’t seen you for years, and we happen to run into one another? I’m not letting this opportunity go.”
With a half-smile, I said, “All right, then. Follow me. The place isn’t far.”
***[TTS Chapter Twenty-Seven](https://hischosenfuture.com/attachments/123)***
# Chapter 28: Or Maybe a Decent Partner 2
I hurried us toward the closest public lift, half-hoping that Fyester would slip away while my back was turned. With so many sensitive topics to avoid, our coming conversation would be like walking through a minefield, and I wasn’t sure if it would be worth it.
Once we were on the right tier, it was a short walk to the bar. Before we headed inside, I held Fyester back while my array projected a simulation of the place’s interior for me, using heat signatures and other cues to form it. Once it was done, I only saw Rane, taking stock behind the bar, inside, and she wouldn’t mind if I didn’t provide her with Fyester’s name or House.
Because there was something that I’d forgotten to tell him. This place was established House Kolb territory, where its members could get a drink after a hard day.
I didn’t think Fyester would appreciate patronizing such a place, and if they’d been here, Rane’s typical customers would have exuded nothing but hostility at him while we'd shared the same space as them. How fortunate that they were gone.
When we stepped inside, Rane tensed, but once she saw me, she smiled, dropping what she was holding to reach for a tumbler.
“Hi there, Zae,” she said. “Will you have your usual?”
“Please,” I said. “And a…?”
I lifted my eyebrows at Fyester.
“Surprise me,” he said.
He was moving his head on a swivel to take in the bar, and I wondered what had him so fascinated. This place was a typical hole in the wall, dark and cramped, and while it wasn’t filthy, it wasn’t spotlessly clean either.
The only thing that made it different from other bars was the arrangement of the seating in it. The set up allowed for easy defense of the place in case of a hostile breach, all while keeping escape routes open, but someone from any House but Kolb shouldn’t notice this.
“Any special requests?” Rane asked.
“Not tonight,” I said. “We’ll be in my usual corner.”
She nodded, and I led Fyester to a table near the back door, subtly arranging him so he’d be behind cover if I needed to flip the table.
“Special requests?” Fyester asked as I sat.
“I’m not always in the best of moods when I come here, sometimes needing to get wasted because of it,” I said. “When that happens, Rane lets me drink in her office. It’s the only place that’s secure enough for me to feel safe while deliberately losing my edge.”
Besides home, of course, but *evushk* did *not* encourage drinking.
“Ah,” Fyester said. “Does she know, then?”
Rounding on him, I stared until he started squirming.
“Know what, Fy?” I said in a dead voice.
Swallowing, he said, “That you’re…”
He waved a hand over me.
“You are, right?” he said. “The *Lokke Vitras* came to our House naming ceremony and pulled you out of it. What else could that have-?”
Under the table, I squeezed Fyester’s leg, and he, fortunately, shut up right as Rane stopped at the table with our drinks in her hand.
“Let me know if you need anything else,” she said. “I’ve set the sound filter around this table to its highest setting, so if you want my attention, you’ll have to wave.”
“Thank you, Rane,” I said. “As usual, you anticipate anything that I might need.”
“Of course I do. I’m the best barkeep in Xygek,” she said.
With a sniff, Rane returned to stocking her bar, and I removed my hand from Fyester’s leg.
“She doesn’t know, thinks I’m someone high enough Stratus to keep my status hidden,” I said, “and I want it to stay that way.”
I twisted toward Fyester.
“You don’t know either. Do you understand me?”
“That you want it kept a secret? Sure!” Fyester chirped. “I can do that.”
Taking a sip of his drink, he made a face.
“Ugh. This is awful,” he said. “I love it!”
He downed half of it in one go, and smiling, I tasted my whiskey sour. Same old Fyester. Cheery and eager to please.
“So? You never answered my question,” I said. “How’ve you been?”
“Oh, wonderful! It was a little rough after our House naming ceremony because I was… you know.”
When Fyester looked away from me, my chest tightened.
“It affected my placement,” he said, “but I was quickly elevated. Just hit Sixth Stratus.”
“Congratulations,” I said over my tumbler’s rim. “You deserve that and more.”
Reddening, Fyester said, “Thanks. How’ve you been?”
Stressed. Beat all to hell more than I’d like. Exhausted in body and spark of soul nearly all of the time with blips of happiness at home all that kept me going sometimes. So jumbled in personas that sometimes I forgot who I was. Constantly on the move, in danger, or deep cover.
“Busy,” I said.
Something on my face must have betrayed what I’d retained because Fyester’s smile followed his gaze down to the table.
“Oh,” he said.
Quickly finishing his drink, he waved to get Rane’s attention, indicating that he wanted another of what she’d made for him, and she hastened to comply. We sat in tense silence until she finished, or that was how it seemed to me, at least. Fyester looked lost in thought, spinning his empty glass between his hands.
Rane must have sensed the mood because after placing a second drink on the table, she folded her hands in front of her.
“For you?” she quietly asked.
“I’m good for now, thanks,” I said.
*Evushk* might have gotten me drunk enough times now that I knew how to keep my mouth shut while in that compromised state, but I still liked to pace myself. It was easier to stay out of trouble if my drinking partner was further into their cups than me.
Watching Rane leave us, Fyester asked, “Are you sure she doesn’t know? You’ve told her you’re high Stratus, and you’re dressed all in black, like-”
“Rane sees plenty of people dressed like me every day,” I said. ‘Besides, I’m not usually wearing something like this in public. Can’t afford the attention.”
Sighing, Fyester leaned on the tabletop with his chin in his hands while his eyes ate me up.
“That’s too bad,” he said. “You look good in it.”
Heat rose in my cheeks.
“Thanks,” I mumbled, so unintelligibly that I barely understood it.
Springing upright, Fyester covered his mouth in mock shock.
“Mother Time help us. Zaeden’s gotten shy,” he gasped. “What other strange and unusual phenomena might we discover tonight?”
Almost beneath my awareness, I lashed out, lightly punching his shoulder.
“Shut up, asshole,” I said.
“There we go. Much better,” Fyester said, settling into his seat. “You aren’t so tense that you look like you’ll break.”
Wait. Had he just *manipulated* me? I might be more wary of him after such a skillful display if I weren’t so impressed.
“So, why are you in the city?” Fyester said. “It can’t be just to see me.”
“No, although perhaps I should have visited you before now,” I said. “I’m sorry I never let you know that I was alive at least.”
Raising a hand, Fyester shook his head.
“I knew I’d probably seen the last of you at our House naming ceremony,” he said. “It hurt, but it wasn’t your fault. At all.”
“Still-”
“Zae…” Fyester groaned. “I don’t want your apology. Answer my damn question.”
He might not want it, but did he know how badly I needed to apologize? In some ways, losing my partners had almost been as bad as my enforced distance from my family. I didn’t like to think about how many people I might have hurt by vanishing into thin air. I hoped I hadn’t been as big of an influence on their lives as I’d thought, that they’d shrugged my absence off and moved on, but I wasn’t naïve enough to think that I hadn’t hurt anyone. I’d missed them over the years, after all.
If Fyester didn’t want to listen to my regrets, though, I wouldn’t make him. I took another sip of my drink.
“I’m here for my brother’s House naming ceremony tomorrow,” I said.
Fyester went still, giving me the impression of someone who’d been struck by the first pangs of grief, and I narrowed my eyes. I knew the look he was wearing. I’d seen it in the mirror often enough after I’d had to make a horrible choice.
Why was I seeing it on him? Should I be worried, raising my threat level-?
*“Pheniks* is going through his House naming? Your scrawny, kid brother,” Fyester said. “Damn, we’re getting old.”
He shuddered, and I laughed. What the hell had I been getting paranoid over? This was *Fyester.*
“We haven’t even hit the one century mark, Fy,” I said.
“True enough,” Fyester said. “Still, it makes me feel old. Seems like yesterday that Pheniks was quizzing me about what my parents do for Cerullis. Made me quite uncomfortable.”
“Phen’s always been oblivious about people’s… anything, really,” I said. “It’s why he’s never kept a partner for long.”
“Here’s hoping he does well in the future that he chooses for himself,” Fyester said.
“Was that a toast?” I said. “I think it was.”
I lifted my tumbler toward him, and making a face, he tapped his glass against it before tipping his drink back with me.
While Rane brought us another round, I considered whether I should pry into a subject that I badly wanted to discuss. I had no right to ask Fyester about it, shouldn’t have considered it in the first place, but I opened my mouth anyway.
“Speaking of Phen and his trouble with women,” I said, playing with my tumbler, “how have you done in that arena? Are you seeing anyone?”
Fyester didn't seem the least bit bothered by my choice of subject.
“I didn’t do so well for a while after you left, but I got back on my feet soon enough,” he said. “Went through a slew of partners until I found one who suits me. He and I have been seeing each other for a couple of years now, moved in together last month, actually. I still date other people on occasion, but while Jastin doesn’t understand polyamory for himself, he’s supportive of it, so long as I keep myself safe. It’s been quite nice. I think I love him, Zae.”
He made a face.
“I haven’t told him yet, though.”
My fingers ceased their fiddling while melancholy quirked a smile, of all things, out of me.
“You should,” I said. “Who knows what the future will hold?”
“Yeah, I know,” Fyester said with a sigh.
He slumped onto the tabletop with his arms crossed.
“For what it’s worth, I’m happy for you,” I said. “I’m glad you’ve found someone to love.”
Fyester looked up at me from where he was resting his chin on his arms.
“What about you?” he asked. “Do you have anyone special in your life?”
Unlike with Pheniks, I had no problem with misleading Fyester, when it came to this subject at least.
“I’ve been too busy for dating. The free time that I get is spent recovering from injuries, sleeping, or relaxing, if I’m lucky. Besides, I don’t have many prospects where I live.”
Snapping his eyes to slits, Fyester said, “Are you telling me that you haven’t gotten laid in six years? You? Really?”
This lie was much harder to speak than the first one had been.
Turning to the side, I said, “Besides for missions? No.”
A chair scraped across the floor, and when I jerked toward the noise, Fyester had scooted closer to me. He faced me with a grin, leaning his arm and head on my shoulder.
“Well, we’ll just have to fix that,” he said.
Beneath the table, he slipped his hand under my clothes, and my thoughts piled on themselves, even as I assessed for any danger around us if he continued. This had advanced *much* more quickly than I’d thought possible.
“Come home with me,” Fyester said.
Oh, thank Mother Time. That location would be much more secure.
These hazy thoughts swam through my mind, even as I gave the only acceptable answer to his suggestion.
“Ok.”
Rane smirked as we raced out of her bar, probably grateful for the opportunity to lock up, and I barely had enough time to wave at her before we were out the door. Tugging me along, Fyester only stopped for an occasional kiss, as if he was trying to hold my interest, but he didn’t need to worry about that. He’d thoroughly captured it.
When we burst into his apartment, a thought froze me solid.
“What about your partner?” I asked. “Will he be-?”
Tugging me inside with enough force that it sent me stumbling, Fyester pushed me up against a wall, which was surprising. He wasn’t usually so forward.
“I already sent Jastin a message about my plans,” he said between kisses. “He’s visiting his family right now. Lucky us.”
Ok. One issue addressed, and fuck, I couldn’t focus, but I had something… something…
Holy shit, I’d forgotten how good Fyester was at kissing.
Taking his shoulders, I pried him off of me to catch my breath.
“Are you sure about this?” I asked. “After… everything, I didn’t think you’d want to speak to me, much less-”
Fyester rested a palm on my cheek.
“Zae,” he said. “Please, shut up.”
My teeth clicked together, and chuckling, Fyester strolled deeper into his apartment, crooking a finger for me to follow. We passed through a rather nice living area, a bit cramped but luxurious, and I absently mapped escape routes out of it while watching the way Fyester moved in the low light.
When we reached the bedroom, I caught a glimpse of a rumpled quilt and far too many pillows before Fyester pulled me to him. His kiss was slow this time, low-burning, as if he was extracting as much from it and me as he could.
I could relate. Every slide of my hands along his skin was like running them over hot coals.
Clothes came off, piece by piece, and I took a moment to admire Fyester’s body, letting the warmth in me build before stepping in with the intent to kiss him again, but he pushed a finger to my lips, guiding me to a seat on the bed. He climbed on top of me, and only then did he let me do as I’d wanted, leading me along in this dance.
It was an unusual position for me. I didn’t typically follow, and I was usually much more… animated than this, but I didn’t mind the change. It was interesting. New.
Plus, it was pretty difficult to protest when Fyester wrapped himself around me with his arms tucked under mine, his fingers curling in my hair, and every bit of skin touching. I couldn’t protest when he fucking *kissed* me, exactly the way I remembered. When tongues made it hard to breathe. When I ground into him and he wriggled back.
“I missed you,” I said against his lips.
A shiver rattled through him.
“I missed you too,” he said.
If that was true, why had he sounded so sad?
But when he lowered me to the bed with his face flushed and pupils eating his eyes, I forgot fleeting concerns. Keeping his lips on me, he snaked his hand between us. He did every little thing that only time with a partner could teach, the knowing that was almost as good as learning someone new. I tried to do the same, but before I could rake my fingernails down his back, as he liked, something stung my neck.
Ice cold water doused the raging wildfire in me.
I knew that sensation. A shrieking part of me knew what it meant.
***[TTS Chapter Twenty-Eight](https://hischosenfuture.com/attachments/124)***
# Chapter 29: Or Maybe a Decent Partner 3
Bucking Fyester to the side, I scrambled away from him until a headboard and wall stopped me, setting my array to work. I observed him at the foot of the bed with an empty hypo on the quilt between us, and everything—room, heart and mind—went dead quiet.
“What did you do, Fy?” I spoke into this hush.
But with the room taking on a sway as it blurred in and out of focus, I already knew.
As Fyester crawled toward me, his face was pinched with such worry and pain that it might have twisted my heart if I hadn’t been trapped in a numbing freeze. If I hadn’t been impatiently awaiting a report on what type of sedative he’d given me and how long my array would need to flush it out of my system.
“Please,” Fyester said. “Please, just go to sleep. When I’m allowed to wake you up, everything will be ok again, and maybe *they’ll* stop hurting me-ngh!”
He flopped onto the bed, and I tried creeping toward its side, but when I moved, the world spun so quickly that I nearly blacked out while my stomach revolted. When I could focus again, Fyester had crawled through my vomit to reach me with another hypo in his hand.
Seizing his wrist, I twisted it, but no matter how much pressure I applied, he wouldn’t drop the hypo, even as he screamed, slapping at me. I relented, mostly because the last ten seconds had almost sent me under, but still, Fyester wept, thanking me over and over again.
Something about this wasn’t right, more than the fact that he’d drugged me. I might not trust myself to claw the hypo away from Fyester yet, but maybe I could figure out what the *fuck* was going on.
“Why?” I asked, hearing the question from far away. “Did someone set you up to do this? Are you trying to sabotage the *Lokke Vitras* by debilitating his replacement? How did you know that I’d stop outside of Cerullis’ headquarters tonight when even I didn’t?”
“I can’t, Zae. I can’t,” Fyester gasped. “Please, let me- let me- Oh, Mother Time, I’m so sorry. If I say something, *they’ll* hurt-ngh!”
He went slack on me, jerking my hold on his arm so that I was on top of him. I used this momentum to roll over the foot of the bed, but with dizziness altering my field of view, I messed up my jump to my feet.
Teetering, I stumbled a few steps, driving my hip into a hard edge, before toppling. Glass shattered with shards of it digging into me as I slid down something solid, but when the fuzz around me cleared away, nothing visible was stopping me from a quarter-kilometer-long drop.
My saving grace was a barrier around the tower, like what I’d used on our last date, but instead of him, I’d driven myself into the window this time. Where had I gained the force needed to break it?
Yes, focus on that, not the pain that was ripping my heart to shreds beneath my numbing blanket, tearing into me like the glass in my skin.
Something pricked my neck again, but I was prepared for it this time, ripping the hypo out of my body before Fyester could depress its plunger. Flinging it across the room, I drunkenly climbed to my feet, only to have a fist swung into my face. The sharp crunch of my nose pulled a string of words from outside of the sedative’s ringing haze—
“-don’t want… don’t make… Please, I don’t want to-”
—and something slammed into my temple and gut. Mother Time, not where I’d just-
The world stuttered into focus once more while my array politely informed me that it had filtered sixty percent of the toxin in my blood out of it. I sat up, noting the bits of shattered window around me, before getting to my feet, soundlessly this time.
The room was swaying and swirling still, but I had enough focus to see Fyester on the other side of the bed, where I’d thrown the hypo. He was rocking in place, muttering to himself, and that noise covered any sound that my stumble toward him might have made. His distraction got me close enough to pull him into a chokehold.
I let my mind dive into emptiness while Fyester fought me, clawing at my arm and driving his elbows into my sides. When he eventually slumped into unconsciousness, I got him on the bed before administering the second hypo that he’d meant for me. It should last much longer without his array already working to negate its effects, but I pulled restraints out of my abandoned clothing, just in case, letting their blue glow add to the city light from outside.
Once I’d secured him, I rested Fyester’s clothes on top of his limp body before getting dressed as quickly as I could.
Because the shielding numbness that I’d raised at the first jab of a needle? It was failing. Sitting on the bed’s edge, I leaned my elbows on my knees with my head in my hands.
For a while, I spun what had happened through my mind, trying to decide how I should proceed, but I came up with nothing. So, I sent a message that I hadn’t needed to use in years.
Evushk, *I need advice. I don’t know what to do.*
And in final defiance of what was waiting behind my shield, I pulled *evushk’s* stored message, the one I’d received earlier, to the forefront.
*They always leave us in the end, it read. Every* Lokke Vitras. *Every time. We are eventually left alone.*
My vision trembled, and I thought it was because of the sedative until something wet spilled over my eyelid, splashing to the floor.
And another.
And another.
And my numbness was ripped away from me.
In the aftermath of recent violence, my growling scream seemed deafening, and it didn’t stop until I’d run out of air. I wanted to stand, to punch something, to release this agonizing tingle around my heart, but it kept me pinned in place. It slunk its way up my throat, snagging on the base of my brain, and from there, it spread slashing tendrils through my mind, turning the world into a far away, fairy tale place—
*“Kuvesk,* what-?”
—shouldn’t I be better at emotional control than this? So many horrible things had happened to me over the last six years. Shouldn’t I have broken like this before now? Damn, even the person I’d been as a child had kept emotions at bay better than the version of me sitting here today—
Laughter interrupted the howl that was tearing the air apart, crazed and loud and fractured.
—then again, when I’d been a child, I’d never had to deal with anything like this. I didn’t think—
*“Kuvesk.”*
—Fyester had attacked me. Attacked me! I’d thought… we could have tonight. I’d thought… maybe we could have more. I’d *trusted*—
*“Kuvesk!”*
—was this what would happen with my family? My parents, Pheniks, and Feena betraying me like…
Fuck! Why wouldn’t this pain, searing its way through my body, finish its consumption of me already?
*“ZAEDEN!”*
My name, spoken by someone who hadn’t said it in years, cut through the snarl engulfing me, obliterating it in a second. With a gasp, I calmed my frantic sway, stopped my soft moan, and just… listened.
“Remember, my *kuvesk*. Unless you will it, emotion cannot touch you.”
That was… right. Of course it couldn’t. I didn’t know why I’d let it.
Like a yowling lion cub, I took my pain and set it outside the home of my mind. It might cry to come inside once more, but I’d locked every door tight. I wouldn’t let it near me again, not now at least.
Straightening from my knees, I let out a long breath, checking my array. It had burned the sedative out of me, and my bruises had begun to heal as my body did its work. While some of my cuts had closed, I’d have to pick glass out of the rest before they’d do the same.
In my array, I had a reply to my earlier message sitting in the top left, and a direct connection had been opened without my permission, something that was only allowed from one person.
*“Evushk,”* I said.
Nothing else. Never acknowledge or apologize for a slip-up as bad as mine had been.
“Good,” *evushk* said. “Now, where are you? I can’t find you through the recorders near your array’s reported location.”
“I’m in an old partner’s apartment,” I said.
A weighty silence fell, one that made me wonder what he was thinking. Was he displeased that I’d so thoroughly compromised myself, or was it something else?
“Tell me what happened,” *evushk* eventually said.
I gave him the details he’d need to tell me how I should proceed.
At the end, I tacked on, “I don’t think Fyester was in control of himself. He kept mentioning a ‘they’. *They’ll hurt me.* Might be worth looking into.”
“I’ll mention it to whoever hears the boy’s case,” *evushk* said. “Ensure he’s properly secured and leave. I’ll take care of this.”
What a… strange solution. Usually, he made me clean up my messes.
“As you say, *evushk.* It’s only…”
Breaking off, I clicked my tongue.
“As you never fail to remind me, you are the *Lokke Vitras,* and your time is valuable. I would never forgive myself if you wasted it by fixing something that I should handle on my own.”
“Do you think I’d go out of my way for you if I didn’t think it was warranted?” *evushk* said.
“No,” I sighed. “You never do anything if it doesn’t also benefit Lutov.”
A beat of quiet bounced down the connection, followed by-
“We both know that’s not true.”
Was he trying to cheer me up? If so, I was a little… shocked beyond words, actually.
“Go, *kuvesk,”* he said. “I need you out of that apartment.”
“Yes, *evushk,”* I said, “and thank you.”
He cut the connection without replying, never had liked me expressing gratitude to him.
I made the mistake of glancing at Fyester before I left. It was cliché as hell, but he looked so peaceful in sleep. I could almost forget the anguished desperation that had carved through those soft features not twenty minutes ago.
As I forced myself to turn away from this, I knew I’d likely never see him again. I’d likely never know what would happen to him—*evushk* certainly wouldn’t tell me—and this bothered me to a degree.
Fyester had hurt me tonight, but I nonetheless wished him happiness. Whether he achieved it, however, would remain a mystery to me.
When his apartment door closed behind me, I slammed the door shut on him as well. Thinking about him wouldn’t do me any good, and I had something important to attend in the morning.
So, fully aware that I was using it as a distraction, I threw myself into final preparations for Pheniks’ House naming ceremony.
***[TTS Chapter Twenty-Nine](https://hischosenfuture.com/attachments/125)***
# Chapter 30: Nope, Neither of Those
Considering what had happened the last time I’d been here, arriving at the Crescent early felt strange, like an off-key note in a song. Other families had had the same idea, trickling in hours before the beginning of the ceremony. They’d socialize in the building’s outer layer, enjoying the refreshments that each House had provided, until the inner layer was opened for seating.
I preferred to wait outside, at least until my family had joined me. With less possible hostiles nearby and more room to maneuver here, the steps leading into the Crescent made for a much better position than its interior, and after last night, I needed the comfort of relative security.
No matter how much I might wish it were otherwise, images from Fyester’s apartment kept splashing into my mind’s eye. For the most part, I could shunt them to the side before they took up residence in my head, but some stuck around like a splinter under the skin.
The look on his face after I’d realized he’d betrayed me. The photo of him with a smiling man that had given me pause before I’d left. How eager he’d seemed when he’d invited me to his home.
Had the desire that I’d seen in him been a lie too, a ruse to manipulate me into a moment of vulnerability, and if so, how could I have fallen for it?
And why was I dwelling on this? Fyester was no doubt in the hands of his *shukusen.* Alezand and Talira would decide his fate together.
Absently, I pinched my broken nose to yank me out of my thoughts. I’d had to use a blending cream to hide the bruising around it this morning because apparently, my body and array were taking their time with healing this injury. To be fair, I *had* excessively stressed them over the last week.
Getting the rest of my appearance in order hadn’t been difficult, considering that everything I’d needed for it had already been in my room, or most everything had been. I’d had to sneak out of my parents’ home in the early hours of the morning to find formal clothes that would fit me. Since I’d last lived with my family, my body shape had changed more than I’d thought.
When at the clothing store, I’d tried to pick something nondescript, but I must not have done a good job of that, given how many odd looks I was receiving.
Or maybe that was just my face.
With nothing to distract me, I’d been focused on keeping my emotions subsumed rather than on displaying a proper expression for my circumstances. Instead, I appeared as I was when I was relaxed.
I’d seen this look in the mirror before. Blank, with nothing present to speak of my humanity, I understood how it might cause the quickly hidden shudders that I’d seen from passersby.
I should fix it.
Leaning against a pillar, I crossed my arms, tapping a finger against an elbow while bracing my foot on the stone behind me, and donned a mask of boredom. People ignored me once I’d chosen a part to play, and I could return to finding an interesting enough diversion to keep me in the present.
*Where* was my family? This morning, I’d sent out messages, telling them that I’d meet them at Acceptance Arena, and half an hour ago, Feena had responded, letting me know they were on their way.
It didn’t take long to travel from my parents’ apartment to this park. Had they run into trouble?
A direct connection opened in my array, and for a heartbeat, I thought it was from mom or dad, subsequently wondering why I hadn’t yet revoked their privileges to access it so thoroughly, but when *evushk’s* voice sounded in my head, I rolled my eyes, mostly at myself. Of course it was him.
“I need you to join me outside the city at the provided coordinates,” he said.
They popped into my array, and while it calculated the best route to reach him, my heart plummeted into the earth. I ran through reasons why he’d ask this of me now. It couldn’t be because of last night. He didn’t do punishment this way. His discipline was *always* constructive. So, why…?
I couldn’t exactly ask him that, though.
“Of course,” I said. “When do you want me there?”
I already knew how he’d answer. I just needed him to say it out loud before I could move.
“Now,” he said.
Given that, I should straighten from my pillar so I could leave the Crescent, disappointing my family and more importantly, my brother, but something kept me glued in place.
“It can’t wait for a few hours?” I asked, cringing as I did so.
*Evushk* merely sighed.
“House before family, *kuvesk,”* he said.
With my eyes burning, I let air hiss between my teeth. A pawn. I was just a *phansha* piece to be played.
“Lutov over all,” I said. “I know.”
“Then, get here. I expect you in half an hour.”
As he cut the connection, I dug my fingers into my eyes. Why now?
When I lowered my hands, I spotted my family in the distance and froze. Should I tell them what had happened? *Could* I?
Hell, Pheniks looked so happy with a glow settled over him and a skip in his step. Would my absence ruin that?
I needed to go, had a deadline to meet, but instead, I watched them get closer, battling with indecision. They climbed the steps that led into the Crescent, and with his eyes bouncing across the building, Pheniks caught sight of me. His face lit up, which only closed my throat, and as his brow furrowed, my brother’s smile faltered. There was a question in his eyes, one I couldn’t answer.
And I couldn’t be here.
I sprinted away from my family, dodging the occasional pedestrian. A message popped into view. I didn’t bother with reading it, setting my array to reject any further attempts at communication.
Besides from *evushk,* of course. Unless I ripped my array out of my head, he would always have a way to contact me.
Not far from the Crescent, several middle Strata had left their cycles in an asphalt square, meant for their storage. I doubted many of these people were attending this year’s ceremony, considering the park’s popularity as a picnic spot. Even still, one of them was going to regret coming here today.
I flung a leg over the first cycle I reached, starting it. Unlike most vehicles in Lutov, cycles were driven by their passengers, although onboard guidance might take over if a collision was imminent.
I overrode that safety feature while logging the name of the cycle’s owner for their property’s eventual return. Since *evushk* had yet to return my *Lokke Vitras* privileges, I had to brute force my way into gaining control of the cycle, but after I’d done that, I zipped out of the park, following the directions in my array.
Once I was on the street, I threaded through ground transports at reckless speeds, hugging the cycle as wind tore through my hair. The city flashed by on either side of me, and towers blinked past quickly enough that they blurred together. At this source of danger, this relatively new experience, my spirit should lighten.
But I’d turned myself off. This wasn’t keeping my emotions separate, felt but never allowed to affect me. This was me as an automaton, pulling deep inside and letting skill and instinct take over.
A shell of a person sped through Xygek.
After I’d left the city behind me, traffic died to almost nothing with most transports taking the route to the Eastern Reaches and the production facilities centered there. I headed toward the Azuwell Plains, where most high Strata kept their estates.
The drive there was quite beautiful. What else could it be with Lutov’s Preserve on one side and picturesque beaches on the other? Lake Voxmore stretched for as far as the eye could see with mountain peaks poking above its choppy water.
Vacationing citizens lounged or played in the sand, enjoyed the lake’s cool shallows, or sped across its surface in every type of watercraft available. Cabanas, expansive and small, dotted the land between the beach and the road, and it was at one of these that I eventually stopped.
I could feel *evushk’s* eyes on me as I dismounted the cycle and combed my hair into order, but I refused to look his way. I’d seen him on approach, a splotch of black against a bamboo wall, just as I’d seen the transport that he’d left waiting beside the building, but I couldn’t face him.
Why was I delaying this greeting? Was I ashamed of what had happened last night?
I shouldn’t be. Nothing I’d done had endangered Lutov and therefore, could be put in the past without qualms.
He hadn’t needed to fix one of my mistakes in years, though. Was that it?
Before I’d left his estate, *evushk* had said that I was almost ready to assume his role. How was someone who’d let a partner drug him during sex ready to become the *Lokke Vitras?*
How was someone who couldn’t face his teacher any better?
*Evushk* watched me march toward him without expression, and when I stopped, I kept my stance loose, not that I expected him to turn violent. If he did, I wouldn’t win. I could only recall one time when I’d beaten him in a fight, and from the way he’d thoroughly thrashed me during our next session, I still didn’t know if he’d let me win that time or not.
“You’re late,” *evushk* said.
I checked the time, and sure enough, it had been thirty-one minutes since he’d told me to leave the Crescent.
“I’ve failed you twice in as many days,” I said.
Should I ask him what he’d done with Fyester? Why the hell would I think that was a good idea? If I truly wanted to know what had happened, I could make inquiries later and not from *the man who’d probably stayed up all night dealing with it.*
Mother Time. When had I gotten so stupid?
“Stop. You are the *Lokke Vitras* to come,” *evushk* said. “Regret has no place in you.”
Damn, those words had cracked like a whip against me. Was he… angry?
No. That wasn’t possible. He’d never been anything but cool and detached when we were away from home. Just in case, though, it was best to play it safe.
“I hear your words, *evushk,”* I said. “If I may, why am I here? Are we on mission?”
“As of this moment, no, although that may change shortly,” *evushk* said. “I have a task for you to complete, one that requires a briefing beforehand.”
Ok. This, I could handle. It had been a while since he’d done anything but send me on missions, but I remembered the protocol for a training exercise.
“My focus to you,” I said.
With a nod, *evushk* said, “You know that I recently infiltrated House Cerullis, although I had to extract without gaining much intelligence. One thing I learned while there is that Cerullis, or perhaps a faction within it, means to make a move for power today.
“Since I gave Talira this knowledge, all Second Strata embedded in our sister House have been working to learn the plan’s details so we can assess the threat. It’s been a trying few weeks for everyone in the upper Strata with nothing to show for it, so today, our *shukusen* authorized a last-ditch effort to learn what we’ll be facing, and I’m entrusting the task to you.”
Oh… fuck. My tongue was sticking to the roof of my mouth, a leaden weight that I could barely move, but I did it anyway.
“Understood,” I said.
Cocking his head, *evushk* crossed his arms.
“Do you?” he asked. “Do you understand how much House Kolb stands to lose if you fail this task? The loss of our control? The smear on our reputation? Your House’s continued existence may ride on your success today.”
With a slow breath out, I said. “Forgive me, but Kolb isn’t my House. Not yet. Even still, I understand the importance of your order, just as I understand how my success or failure may affect Lutov.”
*Evushk* stared at me for what seemed like forever, a clinical examination that had me internally flinching. Had I passed or failed?
“Good,” he said. “We can go inside, then.”
As I followed him onto the cabana’s deck, I had to drag my feet because they’d suddenly become concrete blocks. I had an inkling of what *evushk* wanted from me, a suspicion that was breathing apprehension down my neck. I hoped I was wrong, that for once in my damn life, my mind had connected two dots that didn’t go together, because if I was right…
I didn’t know what I’d do.
*Evushk* stepped through the door, and as I did the same, I held my breath, sending silent pleas to no one in particular, but once my eyes had adjusted to the darkness inside, my retained air came whooshing out of me like someone had gut-punched me.
The cabana was one of the smaller buildings on Lake Voxmore’s shore, so small that a partitioned washroom was all that divided it. Someone had shoved its furniture against the walls, leaving ample empty space in the middle, and the lights had been dimmed to an excessive degree, forcing my array to adjust my vision.
In the middle of this, faintly glowing restraints bound a man to a chair, securing his arms and legs up to the elbow and knee. With sweat plastering his hair to his skin and a bruise circling one eye, he looked a little worse for wear, but the damage wasn’t too bad.
Yet.
Glancing at me, he laughed uproariously. All the while, the emotions I’d held off since last night threatened to turn my legs to water, and warm air rushed far too quickly through my nose.
Because it was Fyester sitting in that chair. Who else would it be?
***[TTS Chapter Thirty](https://hischosenfuture.com/attachments/126)***
# Chapter 31: Please, Don't Make Me Decide 1
*Evushk* held something out to me, ignoring the hysterical giggling bouncing around us, and dazedly, I took it.
Shaped into a thin, rectangular stick, one end of the device had gold squares embedded in its body while the other had a glowing, blue circle painted on its surface with aberrant blips of light streaking through the black metal between.
I knew what this was. I might have never held one, but I’d seen it on *evushk* before.
A Puppeteer. Highly illegal, it was used to take over someone’s array and therefore, control them. The only person in Lutov held exempt from the harsh penalties imposed for owning one was the *Lokke Vitras.*
And he’d given his to me.
*“What am I supposed to do with this?”* I asked.
Raising an eyebrow, *evushk* said, “Ostium?”
*“Fyester’s a House Cerullis member. Ostiu is the territory of Zan, their rival House. He doesn’t speak their tongue,”* I said. *“What am I supposed to do with this?”*
I shook the Puppeteer for emphasis, and *evushk* glanced at it before levelly meeting my gaze.
*“You know what,”* he said. *“You’re welcome to use any of the other techniques I’ve taught you, but I need my answers. Do you understand?”*
I understood plenty of things. I understood that *evushk* had told me to do something that I wasn’t sure I could follow through with. I understood that this was probably a test of some sort. I understood why he’d so clearly defined the importance of learning House Cerullis’ plan before leading me in here.
“Kuvesk, *do you understand?”* he repeated.
I couldn’t say yes. If I did, it would mean I’d accepted the job. So, I did the next best thing.
*“I hear your words,* evushk,” I said.
Something flickered in the *Lokke Vitras’* eyes, sorrow or maybe pity, and he nodded.
*“I’ll give you space,”* he said.
He stepped outside, and I was left alone with my partner and the Puppeteer balanced on my palm. Staring at it, I let its flashing blips lull my racing thoughts. I didn’t know how long I stood there, ignoring the gaze spearing through me, but it was long enough.
“You know I speak Ostium, right?” Fyester asked. “I learned it to spite my parents.”
Nodding, I said, “I remember.”
“Then, why…?”
Closing my fingers around the Puppeteer, I faced Fyester.
“I hoped that by convincing the L*okke Vitras* of your ignorance, he would expose how serious he is about getting what he wants,” I said. “I thought you should see that.”
Fyester was relaxed in his chair. Too relaxed. Didn’t he understand what would happen to him here?
“Won’t that make him angry with you?” he asked.
He was concerned about *me.* Almost, a babbling cackle burst out of me, but I cut it off with Fyester’s answer.
“I doubt he’ll learn about it. This cabana has no recorders in it, so he can’t use one to watch us. I triple checked for that as soon as I arrived, and I can see him through the wall. He’s moved well outside of hearing range,” I said. “Of course, I could be wrong, but if the *Lokke Vitras* did learn about my manipulation, the worst I’d receive from him is a mild rebuke that I did it for emotional reasons alone. He’d consider it… evidence of my improvement.”
With a quiet laugh, Fyester said, “You two truly are different animals, so far above the rest of us. So, tell me, Zae, master of my fate. What will you do? How badly will you hurt me?”
He couldn’t know how much his words had torn gouges out of the spark of my soul, couldn’t know how weak I was. Not if I was to have any chance of getting what I needed without… without…
“Just give me something, Fy,” I said. “Anything that I can use to get him off your back.”
“How likely is that, do you think? The *Lokke Vitras* backing off? It’s a fantasy,” Fyester said. “Besides, if I try to talk about the plan. I’m stopped-ngh!”
Last night, I hadn’t seen what had cut him off like this. Now, I did, and I wished I hadn’t.
Fyester clenched his jaw to the point that his teeth nearly bit through his tongue, and the veins in his neck bulged. All of his muscles bunched while a horrible image of their fibers tearing apart flashed through my head, and his eyes, popping in their sockets, *burned* from what was ripping him to pieces.
He stayed like this for a solid ten seconds before unclenching with a gasp. Fucking hell, what his gaze had told me…
As he slumped, I strode across the distance between us, crouching to cup his face. I ignored how I’d curled my other hand into a fist, holding something that could cause him worse pain than what I’d just seen. He met my eyes, and seeing the conflict taking place in him—how much he was railing against an unseen captor—I knew how today would end.
“I can’t,” I breathed.
“You have to,” Fyester said. “I can’t say it if you don’t. The information you want… lives are at stake. If they die because you spared me, I couldn’t live with it.”
“But-”
“Shut up, Zaeden,” Fyester snapped.
On hearing those words, an echo of last night before it had gone wrong, so much emotion urged me to let it spill over that my body showed the strain of keeping it under.
“I need you to promise me something,” Fyester said. “This tug of war between them and the two of you will leave me…”
He looked away, and I struggled to perform the simple task of breathing.
“Put a bullet in my head once it’s done, Zae. Empty my *anunsri* well. I can’t hang in limbo, waiting for my husk of a body to fail, before I join the Collective. Don’t condemn me to that. And… tell Jastin that I loved him? Please?”
He wanted me to go to his partner after I-
“I will, Fy,” I said with a calm voice. “You have my word.”
I brushed a thumb over his cheek, making a crooked smile my gift to him, and peace fell over this wonderful, *glorious* man who I’d-
“Get it over with,” Fyester said, “before they visit again. I beg you, Zaeden.”
I couldn’t stop myself. With a sob, I shot up to his level, pressing my lips to his, and then, I shoved him away, nearly toppling the chair. Rising from my crouch, I circled him and rested the Puppeteer’s golden end against the base of his skull with my thumb in its blue circle.
A second array popped into mine with all of its messages, beautifully written processes, and functions of the body mine to control, and I isolated what I’d need to bring Fyester more pain than what ‘they’ might cause. To compel details about today’s coming disaster from someone who was pleading for the freedom to speak it.
For what seemed like an eternity, I hovered over the process that would start everything, but when I yanked the Puppeteer off of Fyester, his chair was still rattling on its legs from when I’d pushed him.
“No,” I said. “I’ll keep my promise, but this? I can’t do it.”
Which was strange because my emotions weren’t denying it to me. They were in turmoil. *I* was in turmoil, but as with Laytn several days ago, I couldn’t pull the trigger if it would end a life.
So, I stormed to the door while Fyester shouted something behind me, trudging through the sand until I reached the far end of the transport. I slapped the Puppeteer to the *Lokke Vitras’* chest, not giving a single shit when it clattered onto the asphalt.
“I can’t do it,” I said. “If you want your information, you’ll have to get it yourself.”
Impassive, gray eyes stared at me until I retreated a step, remembering who I was speaking to.
“So, you’re not to the point where torture has become acceptable. I thought as much, but what better opportunity to test your limits was there than this? I couldn’t pass it up,” *evushk* said, as if to himself. “Still, I must admit that I’m glad I haven’t yet made you into such a monster-”
“Forgive the interruption, *evushk,* but I said I *can’t,* not that I won’t. I’m perfectly willing to do as you’ve asked, but something inside of me won’t let me cross that line,” I said. “Perhaps it’s Fyester’s relative innocence. Something or someone is controlling him. Can’t we break that control another way?”
An already still man turned to stone, and his gaze was hard as it drilled into me.
“It is not your place to question me, *kuvesk,” evushk* said. “I know how hard this must be for you, but remember. You are to trust that I know what I’m doing and obey me.”
Mother Time, that chill. It almost made me bow to him, letting him have his way, but gritting my teeth, I stayed perfectly still, maintaining eye contact.
“I’m not questioning you,” I said. “I only want to understand. I’ve always done as you’ve commanded without an explanation about its necessity, but in this, I’m asking for one. Please.”
I needed him to reinforce what Fyester had already told me so that I might find untroubled sleep at some point in the next few years.
Something switched in *evushk*. He went from the calculating man he became on missions to the person I knew at home, the one who seemed to have a soul.
“You really do care for him, don’t you?” he asked.
I said nothing, forcing myself not to look away.
“Do you see why loving someone is a risk when you’re the *Lokke Vitras?”* he asked.
I couldn’t answer that, not yet, and after a moment, *evushk* shook his head.
“You may have your explanation,” he said. “In my long life, I’ve watched the Houses perpetually squabble amongst themselves, and every so often, their infighting turns violent. When it does, the conflict always escalates quickly, and always, innocent people pay for it with their lives.
“Unless the *Lokke Vitras* stops it.
“What we’re seeing with Cerullis is another of those overeager attempts to seize control. Knowing that my gathered intelligence about their power grab is good and that they mean to move forward with it today, this gives us little time.
“And yes. We have ways to break an individual’s conditioning without hurting them, but not only am I unsure about whether Sixth Stratus Fyester is under another person’s control, but those other methods can take weeks, which we don’t have. I find causing one man pain a better outcome than risking hundreds of innocent lives.
“Therefore, one of us *will* torture what we need from Fyester before leaving to dismantle his scheme. I’m assuming I’ll do that, something I’m happy to shoulder for you. Now that I see how attached you are to him, I know that I asked you to do this too soon in your training. Even still, this continued refusal to cause true harm to someone is something we must soon address. Satisfied?”
No.
“Yes,” I said. “Thank you, *evushk.”*
And he closed off.
“We’ve wasted enough time,” he said.
Scooping the Puppeteer off of the pavement, he marched to the cabana with me on his heels, but when we reached the door, he pointed to a spot beside it.
“Stay. You shouldn’t see this,” he said, “and I’ll need you once it’s over.”
I obediently moved where he’d indicated, distracting myself from an agonizing wait with something less painful. Something that nonetheless still hurt.
While *evushk* spoke to Fyester inside, I considered what I’d planned to do this morning. Had the inner layer of the Crescent been opened to the unHoused and their families yet? Had mine found their seats in the crowd? Had the speeches that marked the start of the ceremony commenced?
I’d left the Crescent and its park not long ago, but I avoided checking how much time had passed since then. If I did, it would answer my questions, and for now, I’d rather leave them open-ended.
Behind me, two voices, muffled by bamboo walls, fell silent. The world around me had gone so quiet that the slight sound of my breathing felt like an intrusion on it, and startled by this, I jerked back to present circumstances, scrabbling for something, anything to give me escape.
***[TTS Chapter Thirty-One](https://hischosenfuture.com/attachments/127)***
# Chapter 32: Please, Don't Make Me Decide 2
I didn’t find the escape I’d longed for. My world became the interior of the cabana with my every sense attuned to it, and soon enough, they were blasted by a wailing screech. It went on and on while every jittery beat of my heart competed with its volume, and my mouth went so dry that it was hard to swallow, but before that noise could stop, I ripped free of its cloying hold.
I silently sprinted for the transport, using what I knew of *evushk’s* favorite security processes to get it open. The sinuous bonds of a weeping voice rose into a scream again, chasing me inside, and my hands shook as I ripped a cushion off of the closest bench. As always, *evushk* had a spare pistol hidden here, and I took it, both hating and loving myself for leaving mine in my parents’ apartment this morning.
On my return trip, what had pursued me before instead resisted, and I could swear that I was swimming upstream or pressing into the furious wind of a gale. The sheer *hurt* in Fyester’s voice hooked into me, doing its damnedest to haul me far away from here, but I had a promise to keep. Nothing could stop me from fulfilling it.
I was sweating, gasping as if I’d sprinted here from Xygek, when I reached my assigned spot once more, and for the worst ten minutes of my life, I fought—poorly—to ignore what my evushk was doing to a man I cared for.
When Lake Voxmore’s typical quiet fell over us again, all I heard was ringing, much like what happened when one had been standing too close to an exploding grenade.
I took a deep breath. Let it out. Raised the pistol that I was holding in loose fingers. Adjusted its beam to a needlepoint setting. Lowered it. Walked inside.
Fyester was hanging from his bonds, unmoving. This, I’d expected.
*Evushk* was crouched in a corner, scrunched as far from his victim as he could get. With his head ducked and his arms thrown over the back of his neck, he was rocking in place, and as the ringing in my ears relented somewhat, I heard him murmuring to himself, even if the specifics were still mush.
This, I had *not* expected. What-?
No. *Evushk* could wait. Keeping my promise could not.
Once I was at Fyester’s side, I shook his shoulder, hoping against hope that the two of us had been wrong.
“Fy.”
And when that gained me nothing, I shook him again, hard enough to flop him around in his chair.
“Fyester.”
Circling in front of him, I hooked my finger under his chin, lifting his head, and wondered at how the emptiness in his slack face matched what I felt, a deceptive calm that would break as soon as I was somewhere more secure. Color was leeching from his eyes with them beginning their transition back to their natural hue. I’d always been curious if that had been a body modification.
As a last check, I retrieved the Puppeteer from where it had fallen on the floor, holding it as needed, and when Fyester’s array popped into mine, I flinched. It was destroyed with bits of broken processes and snippets of numbers haphazardly floating through it, and when I caught hold of what had once monitored his brain, I found burned-through neural pathways, a network of black that looped through gray matter like a spiderweb.
A Puppeteer couldn’t do this much damage. I’d seen an example of its use, and yes, it could harm the brain, but the damage it did was limited. This was…
I let the Puppeteer fall out of my fingers. Something else had been at work here. Had someone in House Cerullis developed a form of mind control? That might explain some of the House's recent, nonsensical behavior.
But that was a question for later.
Fyester was gone, leaving an empty shell in front of me. Shouldn’t… *something* be howling through me right now?
Instead, I found pressing the pistol’s muzzle to Fyester’s skull remarkably easy. I wanted to make as little of a mess as possible here. His parents and… his partner shouldn’t have to deal with a mangled corpse on top of their loved one’s death.
My array helped me adjust my angle so that the bolt would go through his brain stem, stopping his heart, and hugging his head to my belly, I squeezed the trigger.
And Fyester died. And I’d made my first kill.
One of my partners.
I could do nothing more than stand there for a while, holding him while brushing my fingers and the pistol through his hair, but at some point, the ringing clogging my ears cleared in truth, and I heard what *evushk* had been mumbling behind me this whole time.
“Not another. Not *another. Please,* Mother Time, I *can’t- I can’t.* So. much. blood. on my hands. When will *it stop? I need* it to stop! *You were* right, mom. Right, *right, right,* right!”
As he kept going, his words came fast, like rain against the glass of a speeding skycruiser, and they fluidly shifted between the three known tongues. Combined with what I’d seen earlier, I’d say that *evushk,* someone who’d shown me only muted emotions for years, was having a breakdown.
Over this? *Why?* Shouldn’t I be the one doing that?
Instead, I remembered what he’d said about how critical timing was today. Hurrying to him, I sent a message to Talira, letting her know that we had a mess on our hands, ready for cleanup.
I didn’t know who else to contact besides her. *Evushk* usually handled the aftermath of our missions.
At his side, I knelt, reaching for him, but he knocked my hand aside, skittering even further into the corner, and his rifle coalesced, pointed at me. Quick reflexes and House Kolb speed kept me from getting my face caved in, and I backed away from him with my arms spread wide.
*“Evushk,* it’s me,” I said. “Calm down.”
But feverish eyes didn’t see me, sliding over my face without recognition.
“So many kids dead,” he said. “Oh, the Collective *should reject me* when I die. Then, *you won’t see* what I’ve become, mom. A monster, monster, *monster.* I *hate-! Black spark of* soul, just like him. Ah! When will the *screaming* stop!”
My brain stalled, leaving me unable to do more than blink at him. I didn’t know how to handle this. If he were anyone else, I’d risk getting shot to knock him unconscious, but he was the *Lokke Vitras.* If I did anything he didn’t like right now, he’d kill me.
Someone requested a direct connection with me, and after checking who it was, I accepted.
“Has he lost it?” *shukusen* Talira asked.
“Wha-?” I started.
*“Is he losing it, Zaeden?”* Talira growled. “No. You know what? Let me have access to your array.”
If she hadn’t been my grandmother, I would have laughed in her face. Granting someone full permission to one’s array was a vulnerability that even a normal Lutovish wouldn’t make.
But Talira was a *shukusen* and part of my family. I trusted her. I gave her what she needed, letting her hear what I heard and see through my eyes, and for a heartbeat, she said nothing.
Then, she was shrieking in my head.
“MOTHER FUCKING SHIT!”
Wincing, I rubbed my ears, even knowing that the noise hadn’t originated there.
“Zae-zae, has he hurt you?” Talira snapped.
“He shot at me, but I ducked it,” I said. “What’s happening?”
“Kid, your self-sufficient asshole of a teacher can tell you about it himself if he wants to, I certainly won’t,” Talira said. “I’m guessing something traumatic happened?”
I firmly didn’t think about the body behind me.
“For us both,” I said. “You can access my memory of it, if you want.”
“Oh, hell. I’m still in your array,” Talira said before pausing. “There. I’m out. Revoke my permissions.”
I’d done so as soon as she’d left, but I wouldn’t tell her that.
“Done,” I said. *“Shukusen,* my *evushk…”*
He was still babbling and stuttering up a storm with his rifle raised and his eyes jerking over the room.
Sighing, Talira said, “He’ll be like that for a while. If you have the time, he’ll calm down by himself, but I don’t know how long it’ll take. Can you wait?”
“Kind of have something time-sensitive to handle,” I said.
“Of course you do,” Talira grumbled, “and he’s not accepting my requests for connection, so you’ll have to calm him down. I’ll help you through it, but you’ll have to destroy your memory of it later. Doing so is vital for Lutov’s security. Do you understand me?”
That I wasn’t part of House Kolb and therefore, didn’t have to follow her orders? Yes, I understood.
“I hear you,” I said.
“Ok, then,” Talira said. “Do exactly as I say, or this will turn to shit.”
Creeping closer to *evushk,* I stopped when his rifle and gaze fixed on me, making the rush of his words hiccup, and into this brief break, I flung a name.
“Korix!”
It was as if something had petrified *evushk.* I’d swear that shock had killed him if he weren’t blinking every so often.
“Korix,” I repeated. “I have your orders from *shukusen* Talira.”
Stiffening, he straightened, dissipating his rifle even if his eyes stayed unfocused.
“What are my orders?” he asked.
“Finish your current mission,” I said, “and then, take a week for yourself. I’ll notify you if an emergency comes up.”
*Evushk* took one deep breath. Two.
And clarity returned to his gaze.
“Yes, my *shukusen,”* he said. “Please stop using my *kuvesk* as a mouthpiece.”
With a chuckle, Talira said, “Good luck, Zae-zae. Maybe if you finish quickly enough with your current shitstorm, you can get back here in time for Phen’s House naming.”
She cut the connection, but when I looked at *evushk,* hoping for guidance, he was already on his way out of the cabana. He gave the corpse a cursory glance before exiting, and I followed in his footsteps, catching up with him before he reached the transport.
“What was that?” I quietly asked.
“Not something we’re discussing right now,” evushk said. “We need to get back to Xygek.”
Boarding the transport, he made no comment on its already open state or his missing pistol, heading for the console to input coordinates instead. I joined him inside, although I remained on my feet for the moment.
“What’s in Xygek?” I asked.
“House Cerullis’ power play,” evushk said. “They’ve planted a Dissolver somewhere in Acceptance Arena.”
So in essence, a bomb. Where my family was.
“Oh,” I said.
Spinning, I sat on one of the transport’s benches while it sealed the door and began its slow acceleration toward the city. As *evushk* sank to a seat beside me, I wondered why I wasn’t more upset that we were leaving Fyester’s body behind. I wondered why I wasn’t torn up inside about murdering him. I wondered why I wasn’t ripping-my-hair-out frantic to reach the Crescent and my family.
I had none of this. I just sat beside my teacher and waited.
***[TTS Chapter Thirty-Two](https://hischosenfuture.com/attachments/136)***
# Chapter 33: I Don't Want to Be a Killer
The length of the road that I’d traveled earlier today, a time that seemed like years ago, went by in a flash with the forest on one side and a sea-like lake on the other.
Also, *evushk.*
He was… concerning me. In our time together, *evushk* had always been a still source of calm and confidence, a rock I could go to for advice about my every problem while knowing he’d have an answer. I’d seen that rock crack in the cabana, and now, he- he was *fidgeting.* It was disconcerting, and so, I ignored him, keeping my mind on what we needed to do once we reached Xygek.
Unfortunately, the silence between us was only making him worse, and I didn’t know how I should proceed. If I acknowledged *evushk,* working to get him centered, I might lose this scooped-out state that I’d achieved. I didn’t want to consider what would happen when it abandoned me.
On the other hand, he wasn’t mission-ready like this, which was something I thought I’d never see.
His fidgeting was strange as well. From what I could tell, nothing was prompting it, no guilt or sorrow or impatience. It was like the hand that controlled his normally empty body had developed a twitch.
I didn’t like it.
After a few minutes of this, I said, “Do we know where the Dissolver-?”
“You were right,” *evushk* blurted out. “You were right, and I should have seen it.”
Glancing at him from the corner of my eye, I frowned.
“Are we isolated?” I asked. “No one should overhear this conversation.”
“I removed this transport’s recorders before taking it,” *evushk* said. “Nothing and no one’s watching us, although you should have checked that for yourself by now.”
I had. I’d wanted to make sure I hadn’t missed one.
Knowing what was coming, I clasped my hands together, preparing for when they started shaking. Hopefully, I could hide any other physical reactions that might occur as well.
“What was I right about?” I asked.
“Your partner,” *evushk* said. “Something was manipulating him.”
His admission spawned nothing in me, leaving me a blank canvas waiting for a brush. Curious.
“Perhaps House Cerullis has developed a tech that could-” I started in monotone.
There was a sharp gasp and then...
*“Kuvesk,* stop,” evushk said.
Calm. We were back to the unnerving calm that I’d grown comfortable with over the years. No matter how harsh or forceful his words might be, they were always said in a level, even tone. Hearing it returned, as opposed to the panic from before, loosened something in me.
“What happened with Sixth Stratus Fyester was a… mistake on my part,” evushk said. “I only meant to hurt him a little, enough to gain the information we needed, and afterward, I’d have sent him to Talira. He was meant to live out his days in a normal fashion, if perhaps in harsher circumstances than before, but he wouldn’t tell me anything, kept apologizing…
“When I extracted our intel, I stopped what I was doing. Immediately. But something…”
The image of Fyester, caught in the inflicted punishment of his captor, had yet to fade from the back of my eyelids. Did *evushk* see it too?
“Something burned out his neural pathways,” I said.
Turning to me, *evushk* stared. He opened his mouth, and I knew what he was going to say.
Lifting a finger, I said, “Don’t. Regret has no place in you, yes?”
With a coughing laugh, *evushk* threw himself into his seat again.
“Using my own words against me,” he said.
I didn’t know how to respond to that, so I rested my hand, palm up, on my knee, extending the same offer of comfort that he’d given me before I’d left for Xygek. I kept my eye on the transport’s windows until *evushk* accepted, but then, I squeezed his hand in a grip that he’d have trouble escaping from.
“I don’t blame you,” I said. “Even if you had believed me, I wouldn’t blame you. You were doing your job, following the role that Lutov has prescribed for you, and in so doing, we have the chance to save many lives today. What you did was for them, not something that was undertaken out of spite or possessiveness. Besides. You didn’t kill him.”
Mother Time, how that last part had hurt to say.
“Oh, *kuvesk…”*
*Evushk* slid lower in his seat, running a hand over his face.
“I know I’ve been pushing for you to assume the burden that all *Lokke Vitras* bear, but I never wanted your first kill to be someone you loved.”
Had I loved Fyester? I’d cared for him, sure, but love? I didn’t know. Maybe?
“And a tiny bit of possessiveness may have driven me,” *evushk* continued.
Slowly, I faced him while ice radiated from me, but he didn’t react to it, merely holding my gaze.
“I understand and accept your many needs, even share them to a degree,” he said, “but in part because of our isolation, I’m not used to seeing you close with other people. It makes me apprehensive of what might happen when that eventually happens, both to you and to- to me.”
Ah. This old argument.
He knew exactly what I’d say, so I left it unspoken, returning to my inspection of the view outside. The city raced past us with glass and metal replacing nature.
“If you have time when this chaos is over, I’d like your help with finding someone,” I said. “Jastin. Of House Cerullis most likely.”
“Do you have anything to go off of, besides a name?” *evushk* asked. “Otherwise, finding this person might take a while.”
“He was Fyester’s partner. They lived together,” I said. “I have last words to deliver.”
*Evushk* was silent for a moment, and when he spoke, his voice was hollow.
“He knew what would happen to him?”
When I woodenly nodded, *evushk* jerked his hand out of mine.
“Shit!”
Shooting to his feet, he paced the transport with his hands on his head while I watched him with wide eyes. I’d never heard *evushk* curse before. Not once in six years.
“Why didn’t he say something?!” he asked in a quiet shriek.
That decided me.
Flattening my lips, I tracked our transport’s progress through my array. We were close to the Crescent, so I eased to my feet, taking *evushk’s* hand as I skirted around him. I drew him to the console, perching on it, and all the while, I was feeding coordinates to the transport for its next trip.
“If he’d told you, would it have changed anything?” I asked.
*Evushk* was twitching everywhere I was touching him.
“No,” he said. “I would still have needed the information he had, and he couldn’t have given it to me unless I provided as much stimulation as I did.”
“Then, it doesn’t matter whether he knew his fate, not on the macro scale,” I said, “but on the micro… for us, shouldn’t knowing that he wanted to help us, no matter the consequences, make living with what we did easier?’
The park filled the windows behind *evushk,* but he didn’t notice. I had his full attention.
“That’s not how it works,” he whispered.
“I know.”
Hopping off the console, I took hold of his face.
“But we can pretend.”
And I reached for my goal with a firm grip keeping him from retreating. When my lips touched his, he gasped, pulling away, but he wasn’t doing that nearly as hard as I knew he could. He wanted this, no matter that he’d gone limp, a statue that was barely returning my kiss.
I’d been here before, though. I knew what this was: a final resistance that he always raised before giving in to the emotions that he kept constantly repressed.
In this instance, it took much less time than normal to draw them forth, and he returned my kiss with enthusiasm. He tried to drag me against him, but I caught his wrists, holding them between us. I let him do what he wanted with my mouth, though, even if I was too distracted with monitoring the transport’s approach to enjoy it.
As we came closer, I prepared the processes that I would soon need before pinning *evushk* to the wall opposite the door. Running my hands over him, I dipped one of them into his pocket, plucking something from it, and then, we reached Acceptance Arena.
One end of my stolen restraints went around my claimed wrist while I attached the other to a nearby handhold, and as *evushk* went stiff, I leapt away, sprinting out the opening door. Halfway through it, I put the transport in lockdown, which had every entrance or exit slamming closed, and it began its flight to the coordinates that I’d earlier provided for it. In lockdown mode, only extreme finesse with process cracking could get it to land or open its door, and even then, doing so took time.
*Evushk* barely needed that time to get out of his restraints. Through the transport’s diminishing windows, I caught a glimpse of him running for the door with panic written on him before the vehicle fell out of sight. It was the most emotion he’d ever shown me, apart from earlier, but I didn’t count that breakdown since he hadn’t seemed fully conscious of it.
What I’d seen there? That had been pure emotion *allowed* to slip through his indomitable defenses.
I didn’t take long to ponder this change or what it might mean, instead sending clumps of grass flying in my haste to reach the Crescent. I’d hit the stairs leading into it when the inevitable direct connection established in my array.
“What do you think you’re doing?” *evushk* growled.
“Completing the mission,” I said. “You’re compromised. I don’t know if you’ll keep your shit together long enough to neutralize the threat, and I won’t risk people’s lives on the off chance that you can’t.”
“I’m turning the transport around,” *evushk* said. “You’re going to need help.”
Oo… he’d sounded angry. I didn’t know whether I should find that terrifying or alluring.
“Sure. Come back,” I said, “but by the time you’ve done that, I’ll have taken care of our problem. Now, stop talking to me. You’re ruining my concentration, and that might get me killed.”
For the first time, *I* cut the connection. Thank Mother Time, he didn’t establish another one because I was at the door leading into the Crescent.
I didn’t know how many targets were inside. I didn’t know where they were. I didn’t know when they’d trigger the Dissolver to begin its work, but I was going in anyway.
This should be fun.
***[TTS Chapter Thirty-Three](https://hischosenfuture.com/attachments/137)***
# Chapter 34: But a Murderer Is What I've Become
The outer layer of Acceptance Arena held a reverential air, spilling over from the ceremony taking place inside. As I scanned what I could of it, I absently browsed through the feeds of the inner layer’s recorders, and once I’d found one with a good angle on Pheniks, I left it in the corner of my array.
They’d started calling the unHouseds’ names, but my brother hadn’t taken his turn yet. Lucky me.
As expected, I found nothing suspicious in the visible portion of the outer layer. Whoever had planned this power play wouldn’t have planted a Dissolver in the open, even after the ceremony’s attendees had left this place. House Kolb members were guarding the inner layer’s doors, and while these people might be easy to subdue individually, one of them would probably raise an alarm before succumbing to an attack.
No, setting up the device in the enclosed ends of the outer layer would be more practical. Hence, why I’d entered the Crescent near one of them.
As I hurried toward my goal, a nearby guard caught sight of my approach. She stepped into my path, and I considered using House Kolb speed to go around her before having a better idea.
I didn’t know why the House Cerullis saboteurs hadn’t initiated the Crescent’s dissolution yet. This year’s House naming ceremony was the only event of note today, and the *shukusenth* were gathered for it, making this moment the prime time to complete their plan.
Even Cerullis’ *shukusen* was here. Did that mean Alezand didn’t know about this plot?
That didn’t matter right now.
All of this was to say that I didn’t know why disaster had yet to strike. Maybe the saboteurs were waiting for the most impactful moment?
Since nothing had started, though, it gave me an opportunity.
Raising her hand, the guard opened her mouth to speak, but I cut her off before she could.
“Check my shared status before you say anything,” I called. “I wouldn’t want you to make a fool of yourself.”
At some point after I’d arrived at the cabana, *evushk* had reinstated my *Lokke Vitras* privileges. Regaining them had been why I’d had no trouble with taking control of the transport, and seeing them in my status, the guard, predictably, lost her composure.
*“L-lok-”* she tried to say.
I fluttered my fingers at her.
“Yes, yes. Shock and awe can come later. For now, I’m short on time,” I said. “I have a task for you.”
Snapping to attention, the guard said, “I’m honored to serve.”
Of course she was. They always were.
“I need you and your security team to *quietly* begin evacuating audience members from the Crescent. Leave the unHoused and the *shukusenth* for now,” I said. “I also require direct access to your array. If my end of this doesn’t go well, you’ll be in charge of a mass evacuation. Get everyone as far from here as possible. I don’t know what the radius of damage will be.”
Mother Time, she looked scared.
“Radius of damage?” she repeated.
“Yes. Your array’s access information, if you please,” I said, snapping my fingers.
Sluggishly, the guard waved toward me, and the means by which I could contact her popped into my array.
After sending her a test message, I said, “Grant me permissions for everything. Someone will visit you later to erase my information from your array, and I will do the same for mine. For now, start getting these people out of here.”
She fumbled in word and body while I breezed around her.
When I’d been younger, my fellow unHoused had whispered about the *Lokke Vitras* and how nice it must be to receive so much hero worship. I’d only found it to be a burden, and I had yet to assume the mantle. Mother Time knew how I’d handle that part of the job when my ascension to it eventually came.
Once I’d passed into one end of the Crescent, what little decoration the place claimed disappeared entirely. Everything in this section was utilitarian, making this side the one relegated for the place’s maintenance staff.
Nearby, the office for the Crescent’s manager was squashed in among the others, and if I weren’t in such a hurry, I might have stepped inside out of nostalgia. There, my journey on this road had begun.
As it was, I didn’t have long to complete my search. The saboteurs were sure to trigger their Dissolver before the end of the House naming ceremony, and each of this year’s unHoused was quickly making their choice without dithering like I had. It would be Pheniks’ turn soon.
At the rate they were going, I’d give myself ten minutes, if I was lucky. Given how little time I had, I got my array to do a scan for high-level tech instead of completing a more thorough search myself. The scan’s range covered this area, so when it returned with nothing, I headed for the freight lift on the other side of this cramped space. While I jumped into it, I set my array to continue scanning before hitting the ground running.
Sprinting down the tunnel sent fingers prickling along my spine. It followed the curve of the Crescent, so while I could see a fair distance ahead of me, I wouldn’t get much warning before I ran into someone, if they were down here. I needed this speed, though, meaning that the only advantage I could give myself right now was to make this dash as silently as possible.
Despite the danger to myself, when Pheniks got to his feet above me, I pulled my recorder’s feed to center field, letting its captured audio ring in my head. Once he was on the dais, my brother stopped beside this year’s randomly chosen spokesperson, and the man gestured toward the *shukusenth* in their ornate chairs.
“Pheniks, it’s time for you to choose how you will aid the homeland,” he said. “Approach the representative of the House in which you will best serve and become a citizen of Lutov.”
My brother faced the *shukusenth*. And hesitated.
My heart lurched in my chest, and while I recovered from a stumble, Pheniks looked to our grandmother for help. She gave him nothing, and on seeing that, he deflated a little.
With a start, I realized that I’d been mumbling under my breath—
“Come on, little brother. Make the best choice for *you.”*
—and shut my mouth. What had I been thinking, making noise of any kind right now?
Taking a deep breath, Pheniks straightened, holding himself tall. He mouthed something to Talira, something I wouldn’t have been able to read if I were anyone else.
‘Sorry.’
And he strode to Arion, kneeling in front of Zan’s shukusen.
A murmur floated through the inner layer. Even Arion looked a bit shocked, but he pulled himself together to finish the process.
This last part was the only throwback to when the Houses had been noble families, banded together to resist an impossible foe.
Laying his hand on my brother’s head, Arion said, “As the head of my House, I take this worthy vassal into said House. May you serve it well.”
He leaned back in his chair with a slight smile on his face, and Pheniks sprang to his feet. The happiness beaming from him would have been strong enough to break my recorder, if it had been a physical force.
“See here Pheniks of House Zan,” the spokesperson said.
The hesitancy of the audience’s resulting applause didn’t dampen my brother’s spirit. He hopped off the dais, making for his seat with a bounce in his step, and I sent him the message that I’d written last night.
*Good for you, Phen.*
After a breath, Pheniks tripped, barely catching himself before glancing toward where our family must be sitting. Failing to see what he’d wanted, he sank into his chair with a frown, and soon enough, I received his reply.
*Zae? You’re here?* it read. *I thought you ran off.*
Smirking, I wrote, *I did, but I’m still watching. Recorder above* shukusen *Orin’s head.*
Pheniks jerked his head toward where my feed was coming from, grinning when he found the recorder. Slumping, he draped his arms over the back of his chair before turning his head so I could clearly watch him draw his thumb down the back of his neck, and I rolled my eyes at the crude gesture.
*Eloquent.*
He quickly replied, but I shoved the message aside for the moment, hearing voices ahead. As I slowed to a creep along the innermost wall, however, I found nothing but a lift out of the tunnel ahead. They must be in the enclosed section above.
After I’d made the necessary adjustments, the tunnel’s ceiling turned partially translucent, still visible but also… not. Five figures were moving about the room overhead with the simulation’s generic avatar representing them, and a small box was sitting between them. Other items, like food warmers and banquet tables, filled the room, but my attention was reserved for that box.
A Dissolver. A weapon reverse-engineered from the tech of those from beyond the stars.
Once activated, it created a spherical energy field, one that we still didn’t understand, of pre-set limits. Everything within the sphere was dissolved down to its requisite atoms, much like the molecular dispersion needed to enter the Travel Centers’ Terminal. Unlike that process, however, this version was permanent.
If that wasn’t bad enough, we’d never learned what happened to a person after their dissolution. What became of said victim’s *anunsri,* their Life Energy, that kept the spark of their soul in their body? Did that same spark join the Collective, or was it lost?
The possibility of utter annihilation, nothing beyond death, made the Dissolver one of Lutov’s most feared weapons, something that we only used in the direst of circumstances.
And these people meant to have this weapon’s unleashed devastation propel their House into power. I’d find their behavior more detestable if I weren’t confused as hell as to why they were still here.
Making exceptions to the Dissolver’s energy field for specific items or people was impossible. If these saboteurs were still here when the weapon was activated, they’d cease to exist alongside everyone else.
Were they that fanatical about their House? Or could something be controlling them, like what had happened with Fyester? This situation raised so many questions, none of which I’d get answered if everyone above me died.
Which meant I had to leave one alive.
Could I kill them, though? Sure, I- I’d killed Fyester, but I’d done that out of mercy and at his request. Could I send people to the Collective if they weren’t ready for it, like he’d been? The question had plagued me for six years with the answer always no, so why would today be any different?
I wasted precious seconds agonizing over this, watching my possible victims circle around the Dissolver above me.
That was the difference between now and every other time I’d faced this choice. Today, people’s lives were in immediate danger.
I’d never dealt with this before. To date, I’d undertaken my missions before the situation had taken a nosedive. I’d always had the option of subduing my targets instead of eliminating them.
If I tried doing that today, however, it would take time, and given it, one of my targets could wreak havoc on this place. If it were only my life on the line, I’d take that chance, willing to trade my everything for the possibility that all six people would survive this coming confrontation, but I wasn’t alone with them. When I looked through my guard’s eyes, I saw stands that were only halfway emptied while those participating in the ceremony had been left untouched.
I saw Feena, mom, dad, and Pheniks.
Could I become a murderer in truth, staining the spark of my soul, if it saved their lives?
Choosing one of the better plans that I’d formed while battling morals, I sprinted for the lift. Jumping into it, I twisted as it carried me higher than a normal leap could, and when my feet hit the far wall, I pushed off of it, alighting on the landing above with my rifle in hand.
I didn’t examine the room or check my targets’ positions. I just fired four times, and bodies thudded to the floor.
“Down on the ground,” I shouted.
The last living Cerullis member lifted her hands above her head, lowering herself to her knees. I’d eliminated the threat in under ten seconds, as compared to my recent struggle with House Vaessa’s problem in Ibis.
Killing made this job so much easier.
Planting metaphorical feet in the walls of my throat, I hauled on the sob clawing to escape from me while moving forward to check pulses. One could never be sure if a target was faking their injuries.
Please be faking.
That hope was quashed as I came close enough to take in the scene, keeping an eye on my captive all the while. My rifle’s bolts had bored neat, blackened holes through each of these people’s foreheads, clean and precise shots like *evushk* had taught me. Like I’d practiced a million times.
A tremor rattled over my hands as I crouched by each of my victims, rolling them onto their backs and closing their eyes, but I didn’t think my captive noticed this loss of control. She was rapidly making her face a mess of mucus and tears. The hitching sobs that I wished I could unleash were coming from her instead.
When I stood beside the Dissolver, I placed my thumb in the glowing circle on its top surface. I didn’t bother with deactivating it. Pulling a study on the weapon from my memory, I initiated the processes that would safely overheat and slag it.
Once that was finished, I lifted the cube off the floor, bouncing it on my palm, before switching it for a pair of restraints in my pocket. Dangling these in front of me, I approached my captive.
“Hands,” I said.
She readily gave them over, and once I’d circled those glowing bands around her wrists, I let my rifle dissipate.
“Please,” she said, “what will you do with me?”
That was a good question. I’d already sent messages to both Talira and *evushk,* letting them know the situation was handled. One of them should soon alert the necessary parties for prisoner retrieval, but I didn’t want to leave this woman alone with her dead compatriots. That seemed cruel, not to mention risky.
So, I folded to the ground in front of her.
“Honestly, I don’t know,” I said. “I don’t usually stick around long enough to see what happens to the people I apprehend. Maybe I should look into it.”
With wide eyes, she asked, “Who are you?”
I raised an eyebrow at her.
“Who are *you?”*
“Ah,” she said before clearing her throat. “Tatum, Twelfth Stratus of House Cerullis.”
Such low Stratus! That could make her a fanatic or a woman looking to improve her quality of life, but people in her position also made for good patsies.
“Well, Tatum,” I said. “I have a name, but soon, it won’t be mine. I have no House, but eventually, that will change, and currently, I am of both the lowest and highest Strata.”
Her mouth dropped open. I’d never seen someone actually do that, so I cocked my head at her until her teeth clicked together, and she swallowed.
*“Lokke Vitras* to come,” she said.
When I nodded, Tatum burst into tears, reaching for my hands.
“Please, don’t interrogate me!” she gasped. “Please! I- I don’t-”
She seemed… unusually distressed by that prospect.
Grabbing her shoulders, I peered into her eyes, unsure what I was looking for.
“Does something have its claws in you too?” I asked.
Horror dawned, twisting Tatum’s face as she turned inward.
“No!” she cried. “Please! Don’t! I can still-”
She choked off while a familiar visage faced me with bulging veins and all, and as my heart dropped through my feet, something in her eyes begged me for help.
“How do I-?”
Before I could finish that question, she spasmed violently enough to rip herself out of my grip. Toppling, she curled back on herself, bending so far that her head nearly met her toes, while her hands stretched in front of her, straining against her bonds. Something popped, leaving one arm dangling from its shoulder, and a silent scream tore out of a gaping mouth.
On my knees, I hovered my hands over her, wishing I had a Puppeteer so I could see what was happening in her head. So I could stop it.
“Tatum? Tatum! Stay with me. Fight it!”
But after a ridiculously long two minutes, she’d gone limp with her empty eyes staring straight ahead, and I could swear that steam was rising like smoke out of her ear.
She was dead.
No. That wasn’t right. She was still breathing with her body working, despite the flight of its soul. Like Fyester.
Was this how he’d left the world, in such agony and with only his recent torturer to comfort him? Was this what I’d let him condemn himself to?
Stumbling to my feet with the taste of bile in my mouth, I swept my gaze over the room, lingering on each of the corpses I’d made, and in a morbid act of self-hatred, I created a file in my array’s long-term storage. I gave it no name, only adding one character to it: six.
Six deaths that I was responsible for. Six people’s blood on my hands. All of whom I was sure had been innocent, despite their crimes. One of whom I… I’d loved.
Why could I only admit that I’d loved Fyester after he was dead?
Lifting my hands, I battered the side of my head, covering my mouth hard enough to leave fingermarks, and I screamed and screamed and screamed and-
***[TTS Chapter Thirty-Four](https://hischosenfuture.com/attachments/138)***
# Chapter 35: Will You Tell Me What I Am? 1
I landed the skycruiser far from *evushk’s* estate. After finding me in the Crescent, Talira had lent me the vehicle, although my memory of the event was hazy. I didn’t remember much about what had happened after Tatum’s ‘death’, just snapshots.
Talira stopping me from beating a fist against my skull, pulling me to her all the while.
Sitting in the Crescent’s inner layer with mom’s arms wrapped around me and dad yelling at someone I hadn’t cared to note.
Feena crouching beneath me with my hands clasped between hers, speaking nonsense words about stories I’d once loved.
The entire family sans Pheniks getting me into the skycruiser before Talira had reached over me to input coordinates.
I’d returned to myself at some point during the flight, just… dully staring out the windows as first, mountains and then, moors had passed below me.
Thank Mother Time that my family hadn’t embroiled Pheniks in any of this. My evils shouldn’t ruin his House naming day for him.
Messages were waiting for review in my array, some of them personal and others business-related, but I ignored them as I hiked over the hills with my hands in my pockets and tall grass slapping against my legs. They could wait until tomorrow. Tonight…
Hell, I was so disoriented, leaving my training so far behind, that I’d probably mess up something as simple as replying to a message. The only reason I hadn’t lost my way was because my array constantly pointed me toward my destination.
When the estate came into view, I slowed to a halt. Did I really want to end my journey there? I could walk away, survive in these hills. With my training, it would be easy.
If I stayed the course, continuing in this life, I would participate in far more tragedies than the one I’d caused today. It would eventually consume me, turning me into an unreasoning mess like…
Like *evushk.* Holy shit, *that* was what had happened in the cabana. He’d been reliving his past.
That was why he’d said he was failing as House Kolb’s First Stratus all those years ago. How long could he continue carrying out his duties when the atrocities they’d forced upon him already had him making mistakes?
That was why he needed me.
Fucking hell, *evushk* NEEDED me.
For the longest while, I couldn’t move while the sun disappeared behind the mountains and a breeze rustled the stalks of grass and my hair. I didn’t know how to describe what was filling me. It was like the glow of happiness, one so strong that it drew tears, but there was something else as well, something I couldn’t pinpoint.
The protectiveness of a mother wolf over her pups. The fierce determination of someone doing everything that they must to save their loved ones. It was all of this and more, and it was enough to set me marching toward the estate with my decision made.
*Evushk* was waiting for me outside of its front door with his shadowed profile stark against the lights of his home. I was hesitant as I approached. When I’d sent him away, he’d been angry, which was a tone I’d never heard from him before. His silences occasionally spoke of irritation but anger? Not once in the time I’d known him. I wasn’t sure what he’d do now that I was here, and that had my every sense firing like a live wire.
I stopped quite a distance from him, giving myself room to fight if need be, but he didn’t move.
*“Kuvesk,”* he said.
Did he want to…?
Keeping my eyes on him, I bowed.
*“Evushk,”* I said.
Please, say I was right.
Something flickered over his face, and his shoulders tightened. He was probably clenching his hands behind his back too.
“Get up,” he said.
That had been shorter than he typically was with me, but he’d also sounded like his usual, empty self. Pulling myself upright, I copied his stance, even matching the vulnerability of his clasped hands. Just this once, I abandoned my snark, showering him with as much respect as I could give.
I couldn’t tell if it was having the desired effect, though. He was back to a machine, guided only by duty and orders.
“Are you listening properly, *kuvesk?”* he asked.
Oh, thank Mother Time. I’d been right. He wanted to follow our typical protocol after a mission.
“Always, *evushk,”* I said. “Teach me.”
For nearly a minute, he did nothing, but right as I was about to start fidgeting, he raised his fist, lifting a finger from it.
“Regarding how a Lutovish citizen caught you unaware,” he said. “You failed to search the room, whether surreptitiously or not, before participating in sexual activity, one of the greatest distractions in existence both for us and the average person. You didn’t immediately incapacitate your adversary following his initial attack, but most importantly, you let love blind you to his intentions. Emotions are anathema to the *Lokke Vitras,* but of them all, love is the worst. Yes, it may not be forbidden to us, but indulging in it is highly inadvisable, and I believe you might understand why now.”
He’d spoken of how emotions hobbled people, and yet, the faintest wisp of flame had burned in those last few sentences. He was on the edge of something, but I wasn’t sure what it was.
Cautiously, I said, “I hear your words, *evushk.”*
A second finger sprang out of his fist.
“Regarding your tardiness in reaching me beside Lake Voxmore,” he said. “After I gave you your orders, you lingered with your family, your *loved ones,* making you waste precious time. We can blame the same culprit for your inability to follow orders when inside the cabana. *Love.”*
He’d spat the last word with a flush beginning to bloom across his skin, and I… I thought I might know what this was about. Hell if I’d voice the theory, though.
“I hear your words, *evushk.”*
Another finger was raised.
“Regarding your actions in the transport and the Crescent,” *evushk* hissed. “You left your greatest ally behind.”
He took a step toward me, reaching for me with his eyes flashing.
“You charged into a highly volatile situation, one that you shouldn’t have been able to handle at your level of training. Not alone.”
Taking hold of my shirt, *evushk* pulled me close, lifting me onto my toes, and I forced myself not to resist.
“You *threw* yourself at a damn *Dissolver,* Zaeden!”
Mother fucking Time, he was shouting at me. I didn’t… this had never happened before. What was I supposed to do?
“You could have been killed.”
*Evushk’s* voice broke while his hold on me shivered. Shit.
At least he’d given me an indication of what to do next.
Laying my hand on his arm, I said, “Sacrifice self. House before family. Lutov over all.”
With a shaky gasp, *evushk* released me, and I barely kept from falling.
“I’ve taught you too well,” he said.
Shaking his head, he strode into the estate, leaving the door open behind him. I accepted his invitation, following him even if I didn’t need to. I already knew where we were going.
As soon as I stepped foot in the kitchen, Ace was wriggling his way around my legs. He and his wagging tail did their best to trip me until I crouched, catching him in a hug, and buried my face in his coat.
He smelled like a dog, of course, needing a bath soon in fact, but he and this room were the closest things to home that I’d had in years, and after the day I’d had, it had my fingers curling in his fur with a burn in my throat.
“Hey, buddy,” I said into his neck.
He started squirming, so I let him go, sitting still so he could sniff me. As an added bonus, Ace’s antics gave me time to examine *evushk.*
He’d begun meal preparation, and watching a knife flash at his command, I wondered if he’d been waiting for me to arrive before making dinner. It was late, though. He should have eaten hours ago.
Finished with me, Ace padded to his spot on an invisible line, one that we’d designated was the furthest he could come into the kitchen proper, and I turned to my task. When I joined *evushk,* he pointed me to a pan with a sliver of butter in it and two pork cutlets beside it. I got started with my part of the cooking process, doing my best to ignore the heavy air hanging between us.
*Evushk* used cooking to work out his problems. I thought he found its natural rhythms soothing, although I had no evidence to support this theory, but tonight, he just looked tired.
Once he’d prepared his casserole and placed it in the oven, he trudged to the table, and despite the hooks tugging on me, I kept my focus on the frying meat in my pan. After the cutlets had reached an optimal temperature, I removed the pan from its heat source and placed a lid on it. Only then did I face *evushk,* leaning on the counter as I did.
He was sitting on the bench behind the table with his head in his hands, and to me, he looked… defeated. After today’s many changes, another shouldn’t affect me, but seeing the *Lokke Vitras…*
No. Seeing my *evushk* like this tugged on my heart.
Sitting beside him, Ace laid his head in *evushk’s* lap, ignoring food preparation to comfort his master, and I wished I could do the same, but I was stuck, glued to the counter. When a timer went off for the casserole, I pulled it out of the oven, prepared our plates and drinks, and brought everything to the table. I slid *evushk’s* dinner in front of him, but he didn’t move, not while I circled the table and not when I sat. I played with my utensils, waiting, until he lowered his hands and started eating.
A wall had been erected between us. We were sitting so close to one another that I could feel his body heat, and yet, something was keeping us separate. The clack of forks and knives—our chewing and swallowing—sounded amplified to my ears, and poor Ace felt the tension. After quick sniffs at us both, he slunk to his bed and curled up in it.
I didn’t taste my dinner. I knew it was good. Every meal that *evushk* and I made—except for the occasional experimental one—came out amazing, better than anything a refectory could produce, but I couldn’t focus enough to register its flavor.
*Evushk* appeared to be having the same problem. With his food halfway finished, he rested his utensils on his plate, leaning back in his seat, and I was quick to finish my bite so I could collect our dishes.
I sped through clean up, glancing over my shoulder every so often to check on him. Lounging on the bench, he was resting his head on the wall with his eyes closed. I’d think he was asleep if I didn’t know him better. No way would he fall to dreams before securing the room.
Once the kitchen was shining, I returned to the table. He hadn’t dismissed me for the evening, yes, but tonight, I had a more important reason for lingering than that alone.
It took a while, but eventually, *evushk* said what was on his mind, refusing to look my way the whole time.
“Today showed me something important, not only about you but also me. I’ve been mulling over this revelation while waiting for you to arrive, and I’ve come to a decision about it.”
I didn’t like where this was going, but maybe I was reading him wrong. Please, let that be the case.
“When I first took you as replacement, I didn’t give you a choice in the matter, even though I… I should have. I want to do so now,” *evushk* said, turning to me. “If you’d like, you can back out of this. I’ll see that you get whatever Stratus you want in any of the Houses. Give you the chance to live a peaceful life. You don’t have to become the *Lokke Vitras.”*
I’d been right.
Shit.
***[TTS Chapter Thirty-Five](https://hischosenfuture.com/attachments/139)***
# Chapter 36: Will You Tell Me What I Am? 2
My barricades against my emotions had yet to be raised again, as evidenced by my narrowing field of view and the sear of my heart. I got to my feet, taking sips of air to calm myself down, but it wasn’t working. He needed to know what I’d decided while standing on the moors, but I didn’t know if I could share it without screaming at him right now.
So, I diverted.
“You lost it in the cabana today, nearly *killed* me,” I said. “You couldn’t get yourself under control in the time that it took to return to the city, which meant that I had to leave my strongest asset behind when entering a situation when I most needed him. You let me distract you enough to get the fucking *Lokke Vitras* locked in a transport. You made nearly as many mistakes as me today, *evushk.”*
Slamming a hand on the table, I shoved a shaking finger in his face. Oh, this diversion wasn’t helping.
Evushk glanced from my accusatory finger to my face.
“Your point?” he asked.
I slammed the other hand down.
“My *point* is that you can’t remain the *Lokke Vitras* for much longer,” I growled. “How long will it be before you snap, entering a state of constantly reliving the past, and never break free of it? A couple of years? A decade? If you’re to leave this position with any potential for finding happiness, you need someone to replace you soon. You need *me.*
“And your need isn’t just for that far down the road. You need me now too. As you said, emotions like love and guilt may be inadvisable for us, but we still feel them, even if well below the surface, and let’s face it. Being the *Lokke Vitras* means enduring more hurt in a year than most people do for their entire lives. You… no. *We* need someone to talk these things through with, someone who understands and won’t judge us. You need me, *evushk,* and I won’t leave you the moment my training gets tough. *Fuck* you for suggesting it.”
Leaning on the table, I listened as my shout finished its ring in the kitchen and winced. I hadn’t meant for that to come out as harshly as it had.
“So be it.”
Sliding down the bench, *evushk* stood, invading my personal space, and I took an instinctual step back. He stopped me by cupping his hands behind my neck.
“Maybe you’re right,” he said. “Maybe we need to relax more in private, letting the emotions that we bottle up freely flow. Maybe we need to talk about the horrible things we do, speaking about them when their pressure grows too strong in our heads. I’m willing to try it. Who says the *Lokke Vitras* can’t adapt to changing circumstances? But for now, we have a protocol to complete, do we not?”
He rested his forehead on mine with those gray eyes so close that I could see the brown striations in them, and swallowing, I hung one hand from his elbow while the other found his waist.
“Today, you took your first, true step on the road to becoming the *Lokke Vitras,”* he said. “It churns my stomach to say it, but I’m proud of you, *kuvesk.* Your first kill was made to bring someone peace. I wish I could say the same for mine.
“After having undergone something that no doubt ripped you apart, you proceeded to diffuse the situation in Acceptance Arena in the most efficient way possible. Talira sent me a report on it, and reading about what you did impressed me. You have talent for our work, and even if that work forced you to take more lives, it also led to you saving hundreds of others. They might not know what you did, but those people are alive because of you. You did good today.”
With my cheeks burning, I said, “You forgot to mention that I went near-catatonic once it was over.”
A faint smile dashed across *evushk’s* face.
“Only to be expected for someone who’s progressed this far into your training,” he said. “Besides, I’m supposed to discuss your achievements right now, not anything that went wrong.”
“Oh. That’s right,” I said with a sarcastic lilt to my voice.
Chuckling, *evushk* leaned back, moving his hand to the side of my neck.
“There it is,” he said. “I’ve missed your snark.”
“Wha-?”
His lips silenced me, warm and soft on mine, and after a beat of waiting for my brain and body to catch up, I pulled him to me, just holding him for now. This was comfort, soft pecks on cheeks and noses and foreheads while we tightened our arms around one another.
That energy shifted when *evushk* kissed me again with his hand, resting on the back of my head, pressing me to him. I managed to break away.
“Did you-?” I started.
“The house is in lockdown mode, yes,” *evushk* interrupted.
His tongue kept mine occupied for a while, and we swept our hands over cloth-wrapped-skin to squeeze and caress and just feel bodies that both of us had grown to know well. When *evushk* tugged on my slacks, I pulled away again, stopping him with a grip on his wrist.
“What about the-?” I asked.
“Traps around the house have been set,” he said. “I checked when I got home.”
Ripping his captive hand free, he grabbed my waist, turning us so that my back was to the table. Partially pulling my slacks off, he let them fall the rest of the way, and I was sure there was another precaution I should ask about, but it was getting hard to think straight.
I tried asking anyway.
*“Evushk…”* I said.
He went still before cupping my face.
“Don’t call me that. Not here,” he said. “You should use my name-”
“Korix?” I asked and at his look of confusion, continued. “My grandmother told me earlier, remember?”
“Right,” *evushk* said. “That’s right, and you’re right. That’s my name, but you, *kuvesk,* should call me Ko.”
Ko. I liked it. A lot, actually.
“Only if you call me Zae,” I said.
Applying my best teasing grin to my face, I lifted my eyebrows at him, and snarling, he kissed me again, trailing insistent fingers down my body. He lifted me to sit on the table, and I idly swung my legs until he gave me space.
“Zae,” he said, breathing my name as if it were something sacred, “who am I to you?”
Leaning back on my hands, I cocked my head at him.
“You’re Ko,” I said, “perhaps the only person I truly trust.”
*Evushk…* Korix shuddered at his name on my tongue, and shaking it off, he knelt in front of me with his lips quickly finding a much more sensitive perch than my mouth. He’d moved so fast that it caught me by surprise, and I yelped, falling to my elbows.
“Oh… fuck. Ko.”
While a happy rumble vibrated through me, a distinctly different type of tongue licked at my fingers, and I feebly pushed on Ace’s nose—
“Not… mm… now, bud...dy.”
—but my mind quickly emptied of anything except an animalistic urge and the pleasure of it being satisfied.
When Korix eventually climbed onto the table with a kiss, he tasted like me, which I’d always found an odd sensation. Not enough to dislike what my partner was doing but still odd.
“What was that for?” I mumbled.
With a hum, Korix brushed his fingers through my hair.
“Mostly because I wanted it,” he said, “but also…”
He laid his hand on my chest with his comb of my hair turning nervously frenetic.
“Also, because you decided to stay,” he whispered.
“Mm.”
I should probably say something more than that, but my eyelids were growing heavy.
“You’ll make me fall asleep like this,” I said, “and I’m not…”
I wasn’t done with him.
“We’ll just have to fix that, won’t we?” Korix said.
Planting his hands beside my head, he leaned down, and Mother Time if he hadn’t gotten to know me well over the years. Within a few seconds, I was wide awake, even if my body was still exhausted. When he sat back on his heels, I groaned.
“That’s just mean,” I complained.
Spreading his arms, Korix said, “What are you going to do about it?”
Lifting my head, I examined him for a moment, calculating what I could accomplish and what he’d let me get away with. Once I was done, I crawled to my knees while Korix watched with a grin playing at his lips, and when I was stable, I launched myself at him, tackling him off the table.
At some point, we got worn out and ended up cuddled against each other on the floor with Ace sleeping in a knot against my side. Today had been…
It had been all over the place, and I had no doubt that the next few days would be difficult for me, especially when I tracked down Jastin and give him Fyester’s message, but that was the future.
Right now, I wouldn’t consider coming troubles. I’d relish this breakthrough between *evushk* and me that had been years in the making.
Speaking of which, I should probably solidify it.
Rolling to my side, I kissed his cheek.
“I don’t love you, you know,” I said with my lips brushing his skin.
Would he understand the hidden meaning in those words, or would he think I was reiterating the lesson that he’d tried so hard to teach me over the years?
Facing me, Korix rested his hand on my face.
“Oh, Zae. You’re sweet,” he said, brushing his thumb under my eye. “I could never love you either. Not in a million years.”
He smiled, and my heart swelled to near bursting.
For a week, we were left alone on the estate. For a week, House Kolb’s various Strata picked up the slack for us, even if they didn’t know that was what they were doing. For a week, Korix and I did nothing but read, take Ace on walks, and enjoy one another.
Then, we returned to training and missions, but both of us were steadier, more centered, and it showed. When out in Lutov, I occasionally heard the odd rumor about how the *Lokke Vitras* had lost the brittleness that had once been woven through his empty façade, and Talira, my family… hell, people I hadn’t seen for years said that I looked happier than I’d ever been in my life. That I’d found my purpose.
They were right. I’d advanced one step closer to who I’d become.
***[TTS Chapter Thirty-Six](https://hischosenfuture.com/attachments/140)***
# Addendum
Korix and I seemed like a terrible match for many reasons.
First of all, he was my teacher, and some thought that a relationship between us would make him go easier on me with my training.
It… did not. At all.
And of course, no one liked the idea of the *Lokke Vitras* loving someone, even if he refused to say those precious, three words.
But in each other, we found a common spark. I always loved what little time we had together.
Mother Time, I miss him.
Of course, we had our problems, but they were never the ones that people assumed. When Korix’s instability became known to the public, especially after he relinquished the position of *Lokke Vitras* and we could call it battle fatigue, people would praise me for staying with him.
They never understood. While I hated that he suffered as much as he did, I enjoyed helping Korix. Something about it fulfilled me.
Then again, I may just have a thing for damaged men. As you’ve admitted on several occasions, you fit into that category, Elliot. To be fair, I started falling for you long before the events that now have you seeing the silhouettes of the people you’ve killed.
And as I’ve said many times over our years together, I’ve killed a lot of people too. I think you can truly understand that now.
Fyester… Mother Time, I regret everything that led to his death even now, decades later.
I’m sorry if hearing about that disturbed you. I plan on giving you the full truth of me, travesties and all, and we haven’t touched a fraction of the horrible things that I’ve done. I wouldn’t blame you if you set this account aside now.
But if you don’t, you’re about to start the opening act of the events that made me the *Lokke Vitras.*
Once again, I’ve skipped several years. Nothing of significance occurred during them, although I probably should have paid more attention to certain clues that I ignored at the time.
The only hint I’ll give you of what comes next is that this version of me is about to meet a very special someone, someone I love to this day.
I hope you like her. I certainly do.
***[TTS Addendum](https://hischosenfuture.com/attachments/141)***
# Chapter 37: You, Me, and a Bunch of Bad Guys
A shiver ran through the aircraft, rattling stored equipment in its bins, and in the seats closest to the cockpit, our Second Stratus support team tensed, throwing glances over their surroundings.
I didn’t know why they’d let the disturbance ruffle them.
Sure, House Kolb’s strike ships, affectionately called the Packhorses, might travel most of a flight near where the planet’s atmosphere met the vastness of space, lending to a smooth ride, but us puny humans couldn’t survive up there—not without a ton of help, at least—and when making the descent into more habitable zones, a strike ship was likely to hit patches of turbulence. The Second Strata should be used to this.
Maybe they were on edge for another reason.
Nudging Korix, I sent off a message.
*Do you think they’re sitting so far away because they’re scared of us or because they don’t want to disturb ‘the great* Lokke Vitras’ *and his student?*
When Korix glanced their way, the Second Strata, who’d been surreptitiously watching us, jerked their gazes away in a comical manner.
*They’re displaying an appropriate reaction to people like us, those they know are far above their level.*
I’d… meant what I’d said as a joke, but sure. He could take the question seriously if he wanted, although he was usually better at picking up on my humor than this.
Running my eyes over Korix, I pursed my lips. To others, he probably looked like he always did: a blank canvas unless expression was required, a deceptively loose body that could spring into action on command.
The utterly capable and infinitely dangerous *Lokke Vitras.*
They, however, didn’t know him. I did.
I saw the lips that wanted to pull into a frown as well as the barest of tension in his shoulders and neck, and my hand twitched, so badly did I want to take his.
I couldn’t, of course, not with several Second Stratus House Kolb members as possible witnesses. To this point, Korix and I had kept what lay between us a secret from everyone, *shukusen* Talira included, and neither of us wanted that to change. It was none of their business what we got up to in private.
Keeping it secret did occasionally have me or him refraining from providing comfort when the other person needed it, but more versions of comfort existed than the physical alone. With the barest lift of an eyebrow, I sent another message.
*What’s wrong? Do you need me to do this one alone?*
As he considered my question, Korix pulled weapons off of his body for inspection before replacing them. Even the bow at his feet got a cursory look over.
*I’m fine,* his reply read. *This type of mission simply… bothers me.*
Which meant he hated them. I poorly strangled a laugh, snorting instead, for which I got a cautioning glance, but I couldn’t help it. Out of everything we did, he found a surgical wipe the most disturbing?
*Hey, think about all the fun waiting for us once we get home. That should cheer you up, yes?*
Korix gave in to his lips’ desire, scowling at me.
*Just because you enjoy events like tonight’s doesn’t mean that I do.*
Resting an arm on the back of my seat, I turned to him with a cheeky grin.
*I know.*
He narrowed his eyes.
*You’re not helping.*
My smile widened.
*I know.*
When he rolled his eyes at me, I checked on our support team. They were, as one, staring at us, and the tiny prank demon in me giggled when I tilted my head to the side, tweaking my features into a monstrous expression. I didn’t get a chance to observe their reactions, however, as our pilot’s voice soon sounded in the Packhorse’s belly.
“Ninety seconds to drop.”
I’d freed myself from my harness before she’d finished speaking, slinging my bow over my shoulders and checking my other weapons. Nothing had changed since my last inspection, but ensuring one’s equipment was in perfect condition was always best before going into combat.
Once I was finished, I leaned against a hatch, watching people gape at me. Being allowed so much attention for once felt nice. I could do without the average citizen’s hero-worship, but damn if having so many people looking my way didn’t still send a thrill through me.
*You’ll leave an impression on them.*
Huffing, I shot my reply to Korix.
*Why should that matter? Talira will have their memories of this mission extracted from their arrays. I only need to avoid things that I don’t want her to know.*
*Zaeden…*
Stepping up beside me, Korix gave me *a look,* one that meant we’d be having a chat later, but I just shrugged at him. By now, he should know that I wouldn’t behave as he wished his *kuvesk* would. Not anymore.
I had my own ideas about how to play the *Lokke Vitras* role, and he knew this. When my actions truly didn’t matter, I’d been experimenting with this, to his dismay.
“Ready, people,” the pilot said. “Drop in five, four, three, two…”
The hatch I was leaning against popped open, and I vaulted from it and into the empty air. I badly wanted to whoop, releasing a cry at the delight of a sudden fall, but the mission required silence from me. So, instead of a joyous commencement to what would probably be a bad night, I focused on a patch of highlighted ground, far below me.
The mountains to the far east of Escad, one of Ibis’ nations, reached sharply pointed fingers to the sky. To us. This range was nowhere near as tall as the ones in Ostiu, but it was still impressive, especially considering how each individual peak managed to hide my landing site. As needed, I made course corrections with my P.I.G.’s propulsors, but in general, I let gravity drive me toward the ground.
Until I needed to slow my speed, of course. Then, it was a matter of fine-tune adjustments, which eventually had me threading through the pine trees to land in the snow.
My array reported no body heat emanating nearby, but I performed my own search while waiting for the others. It didn’t take them long—I’d only had a few seconds head start on them—but one by one, they touched down with perfect landings all around, which honestly, I’d expected from Second Stratus House Kolb members.
None of them, however, noticed when Korix alighted in a tree rather than the ground. A lucky breeze hid the sway of its branches when he crouched on it.
*Do you have eyes on their encampment?* I sent to him.
I’d seen it while diving through the sky and therefore, knew its location relative to ours, but if he had eyes on it, he could probably make out its details.
*Confirm. More targets than expected. Modifying plan to accommodate.*
Great… I *loved* it when our mission intel proved itself faulty.
Our support team shifted behind me, probably scanning the sky for their First Stratus. For a moment, I was tempted to fake panic and grief, making them think the *Lokke Vitras* had died, but not only would that be cruel, but it would also be counterproductive to the mission.
Instead, I circled the clearing’s perimeter, keeping my eyes peeled for patrols or scouts. I doubted our targets had sent them out this far, but preparedness led to success.
A small scuffle of feet let me know when Korix had joined us with a glance over my shoulder putting him to the right of the clumped Second Strata. Marking his position, I continued with my circuit.
“Circumstances have changed,” Korix said. “I’ve sent your new positions to your arrays. Five and Six, you’ll be joining One through Four on target containment. Seven, Eight, and Nine will remain as our snipers. Questions?”
They usually didn’t have any, too afraid to speak up, but this time, a tremulous female voice answered him. That was Five, I thought.
“Forgive me, *Lokke Vitras,”* she said, “but my ratings with rifle accuracy and reaction times have recently surpassed Nine’s. I don’t think the change has been added to our records yet.”
Interesting. Talira didn’t usually provide us with an unstable support team. Were things ok with her?
“True?” Korix asked.
“Yes, *Lokke Vitras,”* a man—Nine, I assumed—said.
“Very good. Nine and Five will switch positions, then. Thank you for saying something,” Korix said. “Anything else?”
Smoothly done. By turning recognition to Five, he’d diverted people’s attention away from his failing, or at least commenting on it.
Because the *Lokke Vitras* did not make mistakes, even ones as trivial as this. Matching this expectation was one of the role’s most difficult tasks.
When no one else spoke up, Korix said, “Then, go. Arrival to positions in three-quarters of an hour. Commencement of mission on my mark.”
Several rushes of air indicated our support team’s departure, and after a moment, a direct connection opened in my array. Korix slid his arms over my shoulders, and slouching to make the position more comfortable for him, I absently rubbed them while he rested his chin in the crook of my neck.
“Ranged or melee tonight, *kuvesk?”* he said.
His voice had echoed in my head and ears, a wholly unpleasant sensation, but I didn’t let myself wince, shrugging instead.
“I don’t have a preference. You know that,” I said. “Which of them do I need more practice with?”
“Mm. You’re proficient enough with both, don’t need practice anymore,” Korix said, “but I have a preference, as you know.”
“So, I’m melee?” I asked.
He rocked his chin on my neck, and with difficulty, I drew my sword and dagger, checking them for a final time.
“Have we given them enough of a head start yet?” I said.
“Maybe,” Korix said, “but it doesn’t matter either way. If they’re not prepared by the time we arrive, we can wait.”
“All right, then,” I said. “Back to mission mode? I’d like to get this over with.”
“One last thing.”
He kissed me behind the ear, at the hairline, and a shiver rattled up my spine.
“Dammit, *evushk,”* I said. “Are you trying to distract me?”
With a soft laugh, Korix released me before straightening.
“Your training for the evening,” he said. “Considering your voracious appetite, you’ll have to learn how to ignore your desires sooner or later.”
Tilting his head, he smiled at me, and with a shuddering breath, I spun in the direction of the enemy encampment.
“Fuck,” I muttered.
What might have been a laugh burst into the air as Korix zipped past me, and shaking my head, I chased him.
***[TTS Chapter Thirty-Seven](https://hischosenfuture.com/attachments/142)***
# Chapter 38: Mission's End
House Kolb speed was plenty useful in short stretches, pulling operatives or strike team members away from killing blows, but using it for more than a minute at a time was difficult. The human brain couldn’t keep up with a body moving at speeds that could look like teleportation. If one maintained the technique for too long, several consequences could visit themselves upon the one using it.
For one thing, my people’s enhanced healing rate couldn’t handle the damage that the ability caused. Theoretically, someone could use House Kolb speed to run from one end of Lutov to the other, but by the end of the sprint, that person’s muscles would be shredded beyond repair, at the least.
In addition, adjusting to that speed while avoiding obstacles could lead to hazardous accidents. Many were the tales of House Kolb members who’d lost a limb because of it.
These dangers were why we’d given our support team a head start, as they’d need to take breaks between bursts of speed.
Korix and I didn’t have that need. Instead, we used something slightly less treacherous than House Kolb speed to maintain the skill for as long as we needed it.
Shortly after placement, everyone in House Kolb learned a specific mental regimen. It was the only way to fight iisen without getting slaughtered, like I almost had years before.
House Kolb members had an addition to their arrays, one that predicted magic use before it occurred and displayed this as a flare in their vision. Unfortunately, the time between when a flare ignited and magic began had never extended beyond a single second, which was useless for humans under normal conditions. The mental regimen, however, let someone react to such a short warning period.
It involved an absence of thought. Without thought to burden the mind, instinct—that most primal of senses—was allowed free reign.
The only problem with using the regimen was that most people couldn’t voluntarily leave the state, and the conditions needed to pull someone free of it could be unpredictable at best.
As one might expect, a state that relied on instinct greatly lengthened how long someone could use House Kolb speed, although it still had its limits. As one might also expect, Korix and I had mastered this mental regimen.
So, as we raced toward the encampment, I wasn’t completely there. Snippets floated down to where I was buried, far below the surface. A tree limb barely jumped; my bisection avoided. Leaves slapping at my face, leaving their plant fiber in my eyes.
But besides that, I knew nothing between leaving a clearing high in the mountains and stepping into a valley with nothing but grass and a creek between me and a camp full of unsuspecting children of Ibis.
The Escadese had formed a neat conglomeration of tents, wagons, supplies, and bedrolls, but that was what happened when one came from a nation that we Lutovish near constantly forced into war. I counted a little over thirty heat signatures, which was almost a third more than expected, but most of them appeared to be sleeping, leaving four as lookouts.
Korix and I could perhaps eliminate this many enemies by ourselves, but Talira wanted us to make this wipe look like another group of Escadese had attacked the encampment. I was guessing she hoped that when the rebels saw their fellow children of Ibis had chosen to oppose them, they’d stop cooperating with the people manipulating them.
Mother Time, how often would divisions in Vaessa’s ranks mess with these poor people?
What that meant for us? We’d have to use primitive weapons, like swords and bows, against people who would be using loaned Lutovish tech, hence why we had a support team. Knowing snipers were watching one’s back was always nice, even if a part of me was constantly watching for treachery from them. The few children of Ibis they picked off would likely be blamed on friendly fire.
As for the other Second Strata, they’d make sure that none of our targets escaped. No one could contain so many people by themselves, not even the *Lokke Vitras.*
When I checked the time, I found that a half-hour had passed and looked to Korix as to whether we could start. After an absent moment, one probably spent checking statuses in his array, he nodded, and our mission began in truth.
As we approached, I took point while a nearby stream covered what little noise we made. With probable lines of sight mapped out, sneaking up on the first lookout was simplicity itself.
Pressing my hand over the woman’s mouth, I slit her throat before smoothly lifting the body into a nearby wagon. I repeated the process twice more without incident, but on the fourth try, the distinctive whistle and squelch of an arrow’s concluded flight sounded from behind me.
Fumbling with my recent kill, I grabbed a man with a shaft of wood sticking out of his eye before he could fall, but I wasn’t so lucky with the pistol he’d been holding. It thumped to the ground, releasing an energy bolt that missed my head by a hairsbreadth, and I dropped my burdens, drawing my sword.
“Coming from your right,” Korix calmly said over our connection.
Racing that way, I hid behind the first spot of cover I could find, listening for footsteps.
“Eight hostiles,” Korix said. “I’ll take the three furthest from you.”
Nodding, I readied myself.
When a blob of heat reached my hiding spot, I surged to my feet, biting my sword’s point under a woman’s ribcage while thrusting my dagger through the jaw of the man beside her. As they fell, I lashed out, carving open the belly of someone behind them, and reversing my swing, I chopped into the join between the neck and shoulder of a short woman on the edge of the group. After throwing my dagger into my last target’s throat, I hurried to retrieve it, stabbing the man I’d disemboweled to end his suffering.
Three bodies formed a pile on the far side of my kills, and I’d opened my mouth to thank Korix when another of his arrows whizzed over my head, felling an enemy I’d failed to note.
“Focus, *kuvesk,”* he said. “Eighteen targets remain, gathering near the center of camp. Come in from the south. I’ll take position to the northwest.”
“Confirm,” I said.
When I reached the middle of the encampment, the children of Ibis were waiting for me in an organized circle with their rifle and pistol barrels pointed in every direction, which was just great. Mother Time, this confrontation would have been so much easier if we could use tech. One suppression grenade thrown into that circle’s midst would send everyone to sleep, and elimination afterward would be simple.
But no. Talira had said no tech whatsoever, not even what we could easily retrieve.
“I’ll draw their fire,” Korix said. “You attack once they’re distracted.”
I didn’t like this plan. Bow and arrow against Lutovish weapons wasn’t a good match-up.
Then again, neither was a sword pitted against rifles and pistols, and Korix could handle himself.
“Confirm,” I said. “On your go.”
As if waiting for my words, arrows sped, one after the other, for the children of Ibis, bringing two of them down before I’d set foot in the open.
They never saw me coming. I was destruction among them, a flurry of motion and violence, and as I worked, a few energy bolts flew into the conflict rather than out, our snipers doing their job.
Once most of their comrades had gone down, the survivors took off, and I dropped the poor man who’d served as my meat shield throughout the fight. Energy bolts had blackened his body, and wincing at the sight, I scanned my surroundings.
And saw something from my worst nightmare.
Korix had gone limp on his feet with his bow on the ground, a precursor to a retreat into his past, and behind him, a child of Ibis—smart bastard—was holding glinting metal above his head.
*“Evushk!”* I shouted.
I couldn’t throw my dagger. Korix was in the way, and even as I took off for him, I knew I wouldn’t make it. The child of Ibis would land a killing blow, and my *evushk,* my… he’d die.
From where I locked it during missions, gibbering panic began pouring forth.
A sniper’s bolt knifed through the child of Ibis, and he fell, which had relief punching me so hard that I nearly tumbled to the ground.
Hell, that had been close.
Tensing, Korix whirled with a knife magically appearing in his hand, and when he found no enemies around him, he glanced at the corpse at his feet.
“Nice shot, Five,” he said.
But I heard this only in my ears, not my head. He must have established a direct connection with the support team, cutting ours while he’d spun.
“Good job, everyone,” he continued. “I’ve called for pickup. They’ll be here in a few minutes, so have your mag hooks ready.”
After he’d noticed me, Korix headed my way, and when I raised an eyebrow, he shook his head, jerking a hand in front of his throat. His message came through a breath later.
*I’m fine. It’s under control. For now.*
Nodding, I frowned when he came close enough for me to pick out details. I plucked at the jaggedly burned edge of a gash in his sleeve, wincing when I saw the charred flesh beneath it.
*Did you know you were wounded?*
While he glanced at the burn, I pulled him into one of the nearby tents.
*Must have been a stray shot. I didn’t feel it.*
Removing my shirt, I shoved it at him before requesting my rifle, but Korix took my wrist before I could aim my weapon at my arm.
“What are you doing?” he hissed.
Rolling my eyes, I jerked free of him.
*The* Lokke Vitras *must be perfect in all things but most especially in a fight, a flawless weapon of death. You’ve already had one hit against that reputation tonight, and while these Second Strata’s memories will be wiped of it, we can’t easily stop people from noting your injury after we get home. So, give me your damn shirt. Thank Mother Time that we wear basically the same clothes.*
Hell, Korix’s face had pinched at my conclusions, but he did as I said while I singed my arm. His burn would probably heal before we reached Lutov, negating the need for mine, but I’d rather be safe with this pretense.
While an energy bolt seared my nerve endings, my vision sparked, and to distract myself from the pain, I sent a message Korix’s way.
*Why do you hate missions like this?*
He ripped his gaze off of my arm, moving it to the tent’s opening and the bodies that we could see through it.
*I don’t like killing the children of Ibis. They can’t help their situation, and it wasn’t so long ago that we worked with them. That collaboration may have ended with the Upheaval, but who can say which side caused that disaster? I sometimes wonder what they might have become if together, we hadn’t messed with things beyond our comprehension. Their lost potential and Vaessa’s poor treatment of them make me… reluctant to accept these missions.*
“I understand,” I said.
Twisting toward me, Korix narrowed his eyes.
*Are you being snarky? Because much as I like your snark, I don’t like having it directed at subjects I actually care about.*
I couldn’t blame Korix for his defensiveness about this. Not many people back home cared about Ibis and the people who lived here. In fact, most of them thought that anyone who did care had something wrong with them. So instead of acting flippant, something I might normally do, I resorted to a genuine reply, shaking my head.
*I’m serious. The Ibisian deaths hurt more than the others do. They’re people, and we treat them like garbage. I don’t like enforcing the practice, but how do we solitary people help them? CAN we?*
He would know what I’d meant. As stated, Ibis was left as a side note for most people in the homeland, and that alone—what seemed like a lost cause—would be enough to stop many people from helping its residents.
I wasn’t asking about that, though. I was asking if he, as the *Lokke Vitras,* or I, as his replacement, could change things. Could we refuse these missions, ones meant to keep Ibis under Lutov’s boot?
If we did, what would happen? Despite how it might seem, checks and balances were in place for the *Lokke Vitras.* How much trouble could Korix or I cause before the *shukusenth* sent House Kolb, in its entirety, to kill us? Indomitable as we might sometimes appear, we couldn’t fight so many highly trained people, especially if they came at us all at once.
For a long while, Korix just stared at me before sighing.
*Enough of this. We’ll miss our ride home if we linger for much longer.*
Striding outside, he removed his mag hook from his belt. I did the same, and together, we watched the sky.
Korix nudged me.
*Do we need to talk once we have a moment alone?*
Slowly nodding, I said, “That might be for the best. Let’s finish with tonight’s activities first, though, shall we?”
In the distance, a shape blocked out the stars, and my array started providing viable attraction points for me to choose from. As soon as the Packhorse was flying low enough, I aimed my mag hook, and once an attraction had set, I shot into the sky, quickly approaching the strike ship’s open hatch.
As the ground fell away beneath me, I peered between my feet, watching a massacred encampment retreat until it disappeared from view.
***[TTS Chapter Thirty-Eight](https://hischosenfuture.com/attachments/143)***
# Chapter 39: Aren't These Things Fun?
Korix looked ravishing at the moment. In black dress pants and a button-down shirt with a wine-red tie to accent it, he’d look amazing enough, but the coat he was wearing, falling to the calf with a shiny, black exterior and a lining to match the tie, only added to the ensemble.
It was like he’d chosen an outfit that would most accent his features. Against it, his eyes and hair were accentuated while his cheeks’ natural color stood out.
I rarely got to see him in formal wear, and even if it was old-fashioned in taste, as tonight’s event required, it still…
Damn. Kill me now for I had seen perfection.
“Stop looking at me like that,” Korix said.
He was standing beside the skycruiser, occasionally flicking a finger through the air. Probably adding comments to my report on our mission. Considering he’d slept on the ride home and we’d rushed to get ready after landing, this was probably the first chance he’d had to look at it.
“You don’t like knowing that I want you?” I asked.
I was leaning on the front end of the skycruiser with my chin in my hands and my body swaying as if I had a cat’s tail.
…Interesting image.
Korix gave me a scathing glare, at which I smiled. Those didn’t scare me anymore.
“We’re not supposed to know one another, remember?” he said. “In fact, you know what? You should head inside. People will talk if we arrive at the same time.”
And we didn’t want that to happen.
I was, frankly, amazed that I still had anonymity in Lutov. The only ones who knew for sure that I was the *Lokke Vitras* to come were the *shukusenth* and my family. Bless my loved ones for keeping their mouths shut about that.
I had no doubt that other people suspected, namely anyone who’d attended my House naming ceremony, but to date, none of them had breathed a word of me.
So, yes, Korix was right. I should head inside.
Pushing off of the skycruiser with a sigh, I paused for a moment.
“Do try to have fun. Please,” I said. “And remember. I left your change of clothes in the manager’s office. Signal me when you’re ready to leave, and I’ll meet you there.”
Grimacing, Korix said, “I’d normally only stay here long enough to make my obligatory appearance, but for you, I’ll make an effort tonight. I know you like these things.”
I flourished a bow.
“Thank you, oh most generous *evushk,”* I said.
“Get out of here,” Korix groaned, waving a hand.
Chuckling, I trotted two steps into the dark before he pulled me up short again.
“Zae?” he said. “You look nice too.”
Damn right I did. I looked fucking stunning, and that was *not* reflected in Korix’s gaze.
Pouting, I said, “Are you sure? Because from where I’m standing, you could be looking at a pile of dirt right now.”
“You and your ego,” Korix said with an explosive sigh.
Lifting his head to the sky, he shook it.
“You are the most delightful sight that I’ve laid eyes on in decades,” he said, “and later, I’ll prove it to you.”
He met my eyes before I could stop my face’s flush, and his lips twitched.
“For now, join the party,” he said. “Enjoy the attention they’re sure to pay you.”
I’d stumble in my words if I spoke, so I dipped my head to him before moving once more into the night.
The park at the center of Xygek was quiet tonight with those uninvited to the ball too preoccupied with their own parties to sneak past this place’s formidable security measures. Korix had set us down not far from Acceptance Arena, so it didn’t take me long to go from the dark of nature’s night to civilization’s illumination.
The Crescent always prompted a queasy mix of feelings in me. Every time I saw it, I remembered how many lives I’d saved on a horrible day, so many years ago, and the warmth of this nearly had me vibrating with happiness and pride, but at the reminder of that day, the empty eyes of Fyester and several House Cerullis members stared at me and…
Hell, it still hurt like a newly inflicted wound, even this long after it had happened.
Tonight, the Crescent lit everything with its glow, making it a bastion against darkness. Tonight, people streamed toward it, clogging one layer of the security meant to keep the undesired away.
Tonight was the Founder’s Day Ball.
In the far distant past, Lutov’s Founders had formed a coalition to resist those from beyond the stars, and after years of war, they’d eventually pushed those alien beings off of our planet.
I’d always wondered how they’d done it. The events of that age had long been lost to time with only fantastical, obviously untrue legends left behind. The people of that era couldn’t have been both as primitive as today’s children of Ibis and advanced enough to have planes for flying in aerial combat.
I’d probably never learn how they’d resisted our enemy. My only chance at that lay in The Library, Lutov’s most highly guarded store of knowledge, and I wouldn’t have access to that place for…
Hopefully, for a while.
But that was for the future. Right now, what mattered was the result of that long-ago war. The day that six formerly hostile families had put aside their differences to handle a larger threat had been celebrated throughout the millennia, the one holiday recognized across Lutov.
Considering that, it was only natural that the event had become something of a spectacle with the greatest of the day’s extravagances taking place here at the Founder’s Day Ball. Only the highest of Strata and the most influential of people were invited to this. It had, in fact, become one reason why many Lutovish struggled to achieve elevation.
I’d never known that sense of desperation. As part of *shukusen* Talira’s family, I’d been attending these balls since I was a child. Even the door guards, almost always the same from year to year, knew my face by now.
Seeing me coming, no one blocked my path when I swept through the people getting their identities checked. Their disgruntled murmurs put a smirk on my face as I strode into the Crescent.
Tonight, the place looked like a building from an entirely different era. The wall between the inner and outer layers had come down, turned immaterial to make Acceptance Arena’s gathering space larger. Pillars and gold-leaf filigrees created points of interest along the other walls, illusions cast into guests’ arrays. The dais and six *shukusenth* chairs, the focal point of House naming ceremonies, hadn’t been touched, although someone had added a few ice sculptures and holographic light displays to it.
Several buffet tables, draped in the most ornate of fabrics, provided refreshments with volunteers manning most of them. The middle ground had been left open, although a few cocktail tables dotted it, but the central-most portion of the floor was home to the most dazzling combination of plants and tech that I’d seen in a while.
Around it, a dance floor stood empty, but with the lack of music in the air, its vacancy only made sense. Right now, only the dull roar of many voices filled the Crescent.
Along its edges, plainclothes security members were mingling with guests, and once I’d come inside, I sidled toward one of them: a woman in a skintight jumpsuit with a geometric pattern covering it. She barely acknowledged my approach, too busy scanning the crowd for trouble to indulge in that.
“I see you’ve also defied the tradition of wearing clothing from millennia ago,” I said.
My sister hummed at me with frustration evident in her tone.
“I’m busy, Zae,” she said. “Don’t distract me.”
“Didn’t you recently get elevated to Fourth Stratus?” I said. “You should be able to handle a conversation while keeping watch for danger.”
“Maybe with most people,” Feena said. “Not with you.”
Hell, that stung. Did she really think I’d attack her?
“I just need to know where the family is,” I said.
“You don’t already know?” Feena grumbled.
Ok. She was clearly upset about something. Sure, we hadn’t seen each other much since Pheniks’ House naming ceremony, but I’d kept in touch with her and our brother via messages and direct connections since then. Where was this hostility coming from?
“No, I don’t,” I said. “Have I upset you? You seem… unhappy with me.”
Finally, she looked at me with her features softening once she had.
“It’s not you,” she said. “I got some bad news earlier, is all.”
Oh, no. Bad news? Hopefully, it was something small but still.
“Anything I can help with?” I asked.
“Thanks, but I can handle it on my own,” Feena said. “I appreciate you offering, though.”
“Of course. I’m here if you want to talk about it.”
Without bothering to reply, Feena slid her attention back to watching for trouble.
“Mom and dad are with Talira right now. She insisted on having some family time with them,” she said. “Phen’s with his House Zan buddies around the buffet table closest to the dais. He’s been picking at its food all night, the lucky bastard.”
I had my two points to avoid. They’d no doubt move throughout the evening, but over the years, tracking targets through recorders had become second nature to me. Keeping away from the rest of the family should be simple.
I didn’t want to go near Pheniks because he was currently challenging for House Zan’s First Stratus position, and an association with someone from Kolb, even family, would hurt his chances. I wouldn’t become a stumbling block for my brother, not when he’d flown so far.
Every day, I thanked Mother Time that he’d listened to my advice about his House naming. I’d always known he’d excel if placed in the right setting, and watching him gain a sense of self-confidence since escaping from House Kolb’s influence had been gratifying.
The reason I was avoiding my parents was much simpler. Over the years, they’d made it abundantly clear that they didn’t want me in their lives. I didn’t blame them for pushing me away, only wishing they’d see that their beliefs about me and my position were misguided, but that was unlikely to happen.
“Thanks, Feena,” I said. “Do you want me to grab you something? Getting stuck on security detail is the worst, I know.”
Perking up, Feena grabbed my arm.
“I’m starving,” she said.
“Got it. Bring Feena food,” I said with a chuckle. “Any special requests?”
Shaking her head, Feena released me.
“You know what I like,” she said.
“That I do.”
I bowed to her.
“I shall return shortly, honorable Fourth Stratus.”
Her face soured before I whirled away from her, plunging into the thick of the party.
***[TTS Chapter Thirty-Nine](https://hischosenfuture.com/attachments/144)***
# Chapter 40: Two Random Encounters
Even though it was still early, people had filled the Crescent, and clumps of them were congesting normally easy to traverse pathways. While I ducked and dodged my way through them, I admired the wide range of aesthetics presented tonight. Almost everyone was wearing the suits and dresses that had been popular in millennia past, but their cut and color varied wildly, although the typically vibrant Lutovish rainbow was muted tonight.
While I approached a nearby banquet table, music rose from behind me with a shift in the crowd moving it toward the dance floor. What a stroke of luck. As space opened up around me, I relaxed my guard the barest amount.
After the many years that I’d trained with *evushk,* I was no longer comfortable with having this many people around me, doubly so when I had little room to maneuver. It had sapped a fraction of my love for these events from me, and knowing that Korix had balanced this anxiety with possible fun for centuries, I could understand why he was so reluctant to attend social gatherings like this. Would I be like him when I reached his age?
There was no point in worrying about that now. Better to seize every moment of happiness that I could find instead, holding them close to my heart.
Humming along with the music, I breezed around my food selections, weighing each option. I saw plenty of delicacies that Feena would love here. I also saw things she’d hate. Was watching her face screw up with distaste worth making a second trip through the crowd?
“You’re Talira’s grandson. Zaeden, right?”
With my decision made, I took a plate from its stack while considering the man at my side. I knew him, but in this context, I wasn’t sure if I should.
“That’s me,” I cautiously said.
When I began making my way down the table, my new shadow followed me.
“I appreciate you respecting my wish to stay anonymous. I’ll do the same for you in return,” he said. “You’re welcome, however, to use my name.”
Forcing my hands to remain steady, I reached for one of Feena’s favorites.
“How can I help you, Alezand?” I asked.
Ever since a Dissolver had nearly destroyed this place, I’d… disliked occupying the same room as House Cerullis’ *shukusen.* After that incident, Korix had thoroughly investigated both him and his House as soon as we’d returned to duty. His conclusions once he was finished? Either what had controlled Fyester and the incident’s other culprits no longer existed or we’d misjudged what we’d seen. Fyester and the rest had planned the downfall of Cerullis’ sister Houses alone.
Now, I trusted Korix. If he told me to cross into the Tainted Expanse, I’d do it without hesitation because he wouldn’t risk me without a good reason, but I knew what I’d seen before Fyester died.
Korix said that I’d let my love for him color my memory of my last moments with him, and maybe he was right. It didn’t lessen my suspicion or aversion for Alezand.
“How about we start with you giving me your full attention, young warrior?” he said.
Carefully, I rested my plate on the table before facing him.
For someone striving to keep his identity hidden, Alezand stood out appearance-wise. He’d tinged his skin blue with darker splotches serving as freckles while his eyes’ pupils completely ate their irises, and no hair peeked from his scalp. Add to that the silver of his eyebrows and one had an unusual physique to examine, and that wasn’t touching on what he was wearing.
“My apologies,” I said. “I wasn’t trying to offend you.”
Surprise cascaded over Alezand’s face.
“Oh, no!” he said. “I wasn’t offended, and you weren’t doing anything wrong. I just wanted to make sure that you hear what I have to say.”
Did he not understand what I was? Every word he spoke would be recorded—in my memory, not my array—for later review. I’d have done the same thing whether I’d been focused on him or not.
Mother Time, I’d forgotten how annoying dealing with members of any House but Kolb could be.
“I’m listening,” I said.
Alezand shifted in place, nervously rubbing his hands together.
“Have we been introduced before?” he asked.
“I’ve seen you at House assemblies,” I said, “but no, we haven’t. Not properly, at least.”
Grimacing, Alezand said, “I’m sorry for that. I should have done so before now, considering how often we’ll be working together in the future.”
May it be less rather than more.
“Considering how busy you are, I expected the delay,” I said. “Forgive me, but do you need something from me? I promised my sister relief for her empty stomach.”
When I gestured at my abandoned plate, Alezand winced.
“Mother Time, I didn’t realize. I’m sorry,” he said. “I only wanted to invite you to my House’s headquarters when next you can come. I have a few items to discuss with you. Nothing to do with politics! Among other concerns, we’re considering a member of my House for elevation. I’d hoped to get your input before making a decision about that.”
“Do I know them?” I asked.
I hadn’t associated with many Cerullis members since… then. Why would Alezand think I had an opinion on his candidate?
“You’ve had dealings with him in the past, I believe,” he said. “Jastin, Fifth Stratus?”
The name was a slap in the face. Sent reeling by it, I struggled to keep my turmoil behind a pleasant mask.
Once again, I watched myself share Fyester’s fate with Jastin. After I’d told him that I’d brought his partner peace, I watched him leap to attack me, only stopped by Korix intercepting him. I heard my *evushk’s* barked command to let him handle the rest. I felt the sickening guilt and pain that had left me sobbing in the skycruiser while waiting to leave.
Did Alezand know who Jastin was to me?
“I can’t promise to be impartial,” I said.
“Of course not,” Alezand said with a smile. “Who’s impartial about anyone they know?”
“So long as you’re aware,” I said. “I’ll visit soon. Was there anything else?”
Showing me his palms, Alezand shook his head.
“That was all,” he said. “I’ll let you get back to the celebration.”
“Thank you,” I said. “It was a pleasure to meet you.”
Oh, how lies rolled like truths off of my tongue now.
“To you as well,” Alezand said.
Cerullis’ *shukusen* inclined his head to me before merging with the ball’s guests, and I watched him go until he’d disappeared. What had that been about? Except for Talira, none of the other *shukusenth* had gone out of their way to speak with me, making it their general policy to ignore my existence. Anything out of the ordinary like this put me on edge.
Did Alezand know that I suspected him and his House of something underhanded? But how could he? I hadn’t voiced those suspicions to anyone, not even Korix, in years.
Hopefully, I could learn more when I visited Cerullis’ headquarters, and maybe, just maybe, I could inquire about the events that had led to the Crescent Incident, enough to satisfy me that Korix’s conclusions were as correct as I knew them to be.
When I returned to filling Feena’s plate, a hush fell over Acceptance Arena, spreading until only music disturbed it, and I hid a smile. Korix had made his entrance. How badly was his skin crawling beneath that empty facade that he always presented? He never had liked people paying attention to him, the poor thing.
By the time I’d finished with Feena’s plate, the ball’s activities had resumed, leaving Korix purposefully ignored unless someone had business with him or he initiated a conversation. He wouldn’t do the second thing, save for what was needed for appearances. I swore to Mother Time; he’d have more fun at these things if he tried to participate.
Shaking my head, I braved the tight confines of milling men, women, and other people with my bounty held close to my chest. With the crowd spreading onto the dance floor, the press here had lessened somewhat. Pockets of breathing space were sprinkled across this cluster, lingering around the edge, and I took a path through as many of those as possible, using the time needed to cross them to assess for hostile behavior.
Damn. I was getting paranoid.
While I was moving through one of these pockets, someone stepped into my path, and I rocked onto my toes to avoid running into her. Short, she looked up at me with the fiercest expression on her face, narrowing her eyes at me with her lips pulled into a fierce frown.
The silver crown of her hair melted into a soft magenta at its ends, hanging in a bun below her ear, and a rash of prominent freckles over her nose and cheeks continued down her neck and over her shoulders. Presumably, they added delightful character elsewhere as well, but her attire for the evening kept that hidden.
A white leotard with lace at the neckline accented her well-defined figure while black thigh-highs and heels showed off her legs. Over this, an open-front dress draped and flared with its deep purple color accenting her hair. The hue lightened as it approached mid-calf while silver embroidery along every hem glinted in the Crescent’s light. A thick belt at the waist and black gloves completed the ensemble, and at the sight of it all, I was stuck ogling it and her.
Whoever this woman was, she’d managed to blur the line between old-fashioned and modern styles, and in a rather appealing way as well.
She finished her inspection of me first, snapping her eyes to mine—
“You’ll do.”
—and as she took my hand, dragging me through the crowd, I realized that in my surprise, I’d failed to determine how much of a threat she might be to me: whether she was hiding weapons under her clothes and the like. I tried to do that now, but the attempt was made difficult by our need to squeeze through other people.
“Um… excuse me?” I said. “Who are you? Do you need something?”
Never relenting in her insistent tug on me, she called over her shoulder.
“Yes. A dance partner.”
We stepped out from the crowd and into a group of couples, sweeping one another around a centerpiece of light and greenery. The dance floor. And she’d said she needed a…
It had been years since *evushk* had last tested me in how to turn one’s body into art. Also, I was still holding Feena’s snack.
“I’m… flattered, but another person might best serve your-” I started.
With more strength than I’d expected from a woman her size, she hauled me in front of her, and as she rested a hand on my shoulder, extending our clasped hands to the side, I was left awkwardly holding a plate rather than grasping her waist. Confusion momentarily rested in the woman until she darted her eyes to my impediment, and then, a mischievous smile replaced it.
“Just keep up,” she said.
She slid to the side, twirling under my looped arm, and if I wanted to stay on my feet, I was forced to follow. Dipping and spinning, she performed so many different dance moves, and I barely stayed with her.
It was clear who was in the lead, considering how often she pulled us out of the way of other couples, but within a minute, this balance shifted. I gained my rhythm with my body remembering moves that I’d forgotten, and soon, we were in sync.
Neither of us took a role in this silent conversation. We just danced with one another, taking cues from our opposite. With a smirk, she changed styles halfway through a step. With an answering grin, I forced her into a complicated maneuver, giving her little help to complete it.
All the while, a plate changed hands or briefly hovered in the air with nothing on it spilling.
It was like I’d slipped into an old, favored habit: effortless and simple, and yet, I felt as if I’d returned to one of *evushk’s* most difficult training sessions. The challenge of it made my heart race with the world fuzzing around me until it was only me, her, and a plate of food.
I didn’t hear the music fall to silence. All I noticed was the woman drawing our dance to a close, and when we stopped, I was out of breath while giddiness bounced in me with every heave of air.
Stepping back, I bowed to the woman, moving through the steps needed to give her my Favor, short of cupping my neck. When I rose, applause broke on my ears, and I glanced around, noting that the dance floor was empty except for us and a ring of people, avidly watching.
How long had we been dancing?
I directed short bows to the audience, cringing the entire time, while the woman stared at them with her arms crossed. When she stormed off, I scrambled to follow, threading through people until we’d found a quiet spot.
“Thank you,” she said, rounding on me. “No one but my instructors have matched me like that in years.”
“It was no problem. Nothing’s tested me like you in… oh, I don’t remember when the last time was,” I said. “It was fun.”
For some reason, she found this amusing, showing me her teeth while extending a hand.
“I’m Leski,” she said.
Shaking her hand, I said, “Zaeden.”
She raised an eyebrow.
“No House?”
“You didn’t give one,” I said.
“That’s because I’m unHoused, although that will change this year,” Leski said. “I don’t have a House.”
Tilting my head to the side, I said, “Neither do I.”
“You’re unHoused?” Leski asked. “I thought I knew all of us.”
And I grinned.
“Did I say that?” I asked.
Frowning, she stared at me for a moment before laughing, a delighted tinkle that ended with an uncontrolled snort. She threw a hand over her nose and mouth, even as she smiled.
“Oh, I like you,” she said.
“I’m glad to hear it,” I said. “Some people find my attitude… annoying.”
Leski scowled, which caught me off guard. I’d never changed someone’s opinion of me so quickly before.
“Please excuse me,” she said. “My father wants me to join him.”
That explained the change in demeanor. Was she not on good terms with her father?
“It was nice to meet you, Zaeden,” she continued. “I hope to see you again someday.”
“That would be wonderful,” I said.
She gave what I was holding a significant glance.
“Maybe get that food to whoever it’s meant for before it gets cold?” she said.
Oh. I’d completely forgotten about Feena. Shit.
“I think that might be a lost cause,” I said.
Laughing, Leski turned away.
“Good luck with revitalizing it, then,” she said.
“Thanks.”
With a flutter of her fingers, she let the crowd eat her, and I licked my lips. What had *that* been?
Starting for another banquet table, I considered the question for a moment but decided to simply leave it as a nice encounter.
Something appropriate for what today was and nothing more.
***[TTS Chapter Forty](https://hischosenfuture.com/attachments/145)***
# Chapter 41: Of Course We Are, Dummy
When I returned to Feena, she looked grumpy rather than just acting like it. I cautiously approached her with my offering, keeping my eyes peeled for the fiery dragon that she sometimes became.
“Took you long enough,” she grumbled, tearing into her food.
“Sorry. I got distracted,” I said.
“I saw,” Feena said.
Swallowing, she pointed a fork at the refilling dance floor.
“Do you know who your dance partner was?” she asked.
“I didn’t think I needed to check her identity,” I said. “Why?”
Waving at me, Feena said, “Just be careful if you meet her again. Other than that, don’t worry about it. It doesn’t matter.”
Ok… I might find my sister’s warning more ominous if I had the slightest chance of running into Leski again, but given my life, that didn’t seem likely. Best to leave it be.
While Feena sucked down my gifted snack, I stayed with her. I couldn’t go near Pheniks, our parents, or Korix, and for some reason, I found myself… lonely. I needed someone I loved nearby.
“Have you read my message yet?” Feena asked once she’d finished eating.
Leaning on the cocktail table, I shook my head.
“Evushk and I have either been in Ibis or traveling all day,” I said.
“Is *that* what the pull on resources was for?” Feena asked. “Did Talira finally send you to deal with our latest crop of rebels?”
When I remembered what we’d left in Escad, my mood soured.
“You know I can’t talk about it,” I said.
“Right. Sorry,” Feena said, “and I’m sorry for snapping at you earlier. Just because my morning was shit doesn’t change today’s significance.”
“It doesn’t matter,” I said. “I’m grateful that you and Phen sent me kind words earlier, but sooner or later, today must become like any other day for you two. Well, besides it being Founder’s Day, of course.”
“Zaeden…” Feena sighed.
A shadow fell over the table from behind me.
“Why is today so special?”
While I relaxed into a puddle on the tabletop, Feena stiffened, rigidly fixing her eyes above my head.
“I thought we weren’t supposed to come near one another tonight,” I said.
“No one can see me. I’m using a camouflage disk, one of the few techniques I haven’t taught you yet,” Korix said. “Why make missions easy for you when you could learn useful skills instead? For the moment, the only people I’m visible to are you and…?”
Sighing, I straightened from off of the table. I had no doubt that both parties in this introduction would know who the other person was, but I went through the process anyway.
*“Evushk,* this is my sister, Feena. She doesn’t usually act like the rabbit she’s mimicking now,” I said. “Feena, this is my *evushk.* He’s not nearly as terrifying as everyone makes him out to be.”
When Korix raised an eyebrow at me, I shrugged. Feena and Pheniks were likely to be part of my life for a long while yet. If he was to remain in it as well, he’d need to drop his icy mask when around them.
Taking a deep breath, Korix turned to Feena.
“Fourth Stratus,” he began.
Ugh, he was going formal with this? I elbowed him. Hard.
Korix flipped his head to glare at me while I donned an innocent smile, and across the table from us, Feena froze. She bounced her eyes between us while they filled with tears, as if she’d realized a horrible truth, and she took a step back.
“Excuse me for a moment,” she croaked.
She stumbled out of view, leaving me chewing on my lip. What had she seen to cause a reaction like that? Did she… know? How could she, having watched so little interaction between me and Korix?
“That woman you were dancing with earlier,” Korix said. “Do you fancy her?”
This was such an enormous change of subject that it took me a moment to switch tracks.
“Maybe? She certainly seemed charming enough,” I said. “I doubt it’ll go anywhere, though. You don’t exactly give me time to date.”
Korix didn’t react when I grinned at him, so rolling my eyes, I asked.
“Why?”
“I would advise caution if you court her, no matter how far into the future that might be,” Korix said. “Her father’s a founder, and therefore, has an old-fashioned view of relationships.”
My breathing paused as my thoughts screeched to a stop.
“A *Founder?”* I hissed.
As in one of the people who’d formed the homeland? One of the people we were celebrating today? Weren’t they supposed to be dead, moved on to the Collective? If one wasn’t, though, as Korix seemed to be implying, what sort of attention had I brought down upon myself?
*“A* founder, not one of *the* Founders. He wasn’t part of the six Houses that persist to this day, but he lived during the time of Lutov’s founding and fought those from beyond the stars,” Korix said.
Interesting. That would make him old, which was a strange concept to consider.
How long someone had been alive didn’t much matter in Lutov, not when it had no bearing on Stratus elevation or romantic relationships or… *anything,* really. What counted was how mature a person acted. That was all someone needed to determine if they were ready for the many different stages of life or their career, barring the time required to develop into an adult of course.
But if Leski’s father was that old, perhaps he could tell me more about the war with those from beyond the stars.
Also. Why did Lutov know basically nothing about that time period if someone who’d lived during it was alive to tell the tale? Had the man simply refused to share his knowledge, or had someone, at some point in history, decided to bury the truth about the war?
I didn’t get long to ponder these questions as Korix quickly continued with his explanation.
“He’s not a man whose ire you want to raise, so if you decide to pursue Leski, make sure you treat her with the utmost respect.”
Something fiery whipped through me as I met Korix’s gaze, but my voice emerged calmly when I replied.
“I am always respectful with my partners. They deserve nothing less. Don’t you know this?”
His brow creased with something about what I’d said obviously troubling him, but Feena returned before he could share what it was.
“Please forgive me for my outburst…” she said before frowning. “What term of respect should I use to address you in this moment, honored sir?”
“None of them,” Korix said, “and the amount of emotion you displayed is expected and *good* for someone of your Stratus. Don’t be ashamed of it.”
Storm clouds formed on my sister’s face.
“Maybe you’re right,” she said, “but I have to reach higher. I have to get as high in House Kolb’s infrastructure as I can before… well, before.”
I’m sorry. Had Feena just deliberately withheld something from the *Lokke Vitras?* Was she trying to get herself killed?
“Continue with that thought,” Korix said, as level as he’d been to this point.
But I knew him well enough to read that tone. Feena had better tell him what she was hiding. Now. I didn’t know what I’d do if he ordered me to hurt her.
“Forgive me, but I cannot,” she said. “Not even if you command it, precursor to the protector.”
And… we’d dropped into something I probably wasn’t meant to understand yet. It was a familiar enough sensation, given how often Korix and others like him had talked cryptically while around me in the past, but as I had then, I gave the conversation my full attention, despite my lack of understanding.
“You’ve made a trip to the southernmost tip of the Eastern Reaches?” Korix asked.
“Earlier today, yes,” Feena quietly replied.
Wait, this morning? When she’d received her bad news? Also, why did Korix look purposefully sympathetic now?
“My condolences,” he said.
Shifting in place, Feena said, “Thank you. I think.”
In an attempt to keep her calm, Korix *slowly* rounded the table to take her hand.
“I mean it,” he said. “If you need anything, ask, and I’ll do what I can to help.”
I’d never seen my sister so uncomfortable before. She clearly wanted to retreat from Korix, but she made herself hold still with a forced smile pasted in place.
“For now, it would help if you removed the distraction that is my little brother,” she said before hastily adding. “Please.”
Softly chuckling, Korix said, “That, I can easily do. I was just about done with this form of torture anyway.”
Patting my sister’s hand, he released her before turning on me.
“Let’s go, *kuvesk.”*
I silently followed him into an enclosed end of the Crescent and one of the offices beyond it. Once the door had fallen closed behind us, Korix made for the clothes draped over the manager’s desk, and I broke the silence between us.
“What was that about?” I asked. “I’ve never seen you act so human with anyone besides me before.”
Holding the outfit that I’d chosen in front of him, Korix cocked his head.
“This is one of those things I can’t tell you about yet,” he distractedly said.
“Because I’m not ready for it?” I asked, almost snapping the question.
Glancing at me, Korix said, “No. Because I have more experience with this. Because I say you can’t know. And… because your sister should be the one to tell you about it, if she decides to share. Do you understand me, *kuvesk?”*
Much as my insides shriveled while doing it, I had to nod. Our relationship might have become closer, but he was still the *Lokke Vitras* and my teacher, and those roles took greater precedence than anything else we might have.
“Yes, *evushk,”* I said.
“Good,” Korix said before softening. “Help me get changed?”
I’d accepted that secrets would always lie between us. What was one more, even if it involved my sister? Shaking it off, I stepped forward to take his jacket.
I’d provided a simple wardrobe change tonight. The tie came off while something more comfortable replaced the formal pants and shirt. They didn’t truly matter, though. Korix wouldn’t get the most important piece of his ensemble until we'd reached home.
Sneaking out of the Crescent gave us no trouble, but why should it? Security was focused on keeping people out, not in.
Once we were in the skycruiser with its coordinates set, we sat in comfortable silence for a good half of an hour before Korix lowered the divider between our seats. He slid to my side, leaning into me.
“I wish I could tell you,” he said.
Tell me what…? Oh. About Feena.
Sighing, I wrapped my arm around him, pulling him closer.
“It’s fine, Ko. I get it,” I said.
Humming, Korix nestled into me, stroking my leg, and I rested my body on him. What was found here, in each other’s warmth, was comfort, the greatest form of it, and slowly, my tension leaked out of me. Sleep came calling like an errant lover.
Before it could take hold of me, Korix shifted in place.
“Earlier, you implied that we’re partners,” he said. “Am I right to think this?”
Sleepily blinking, I struggled to put my thoughts in order. Why was he asking me a question with such an obvious answer, especially when he knew that I’d need rest before we got home?
“Would we not drop everything if one of us needed help? Do we not work to make our individual lives easier? Is our happiness not the goal of us both?” I asked. “If so, that makes us partners, as far as I’m concerned.”
“Zae…” Korix said before burying his face in my chest. “What you’re saying is true, yes, but Lutov and Kolb will always come before the other person in this arrangement, at least for me. Doesn’t that change your opinion?”
Fucking Houses. Fucking loyalty to the homeland.
Somehow, I kept my breathing rate even, and the unbridled rage and helplessness churning in my gut were leeched from my voice.
“It changes nothing,” I said. “Unless you object to it, I will think of you as my partner, Ko. Who else can I refuse to love as much as I do with you?”
Korix’s chest fell still, and as he curled his fingers into my slacks, his breath ceased its beat against my skin. Shooting his head up, he circled an arm around my neck while his palm turned me to him, and when we came together, energy burned away my fatigue.
I slid my hands to the back of his head, keeping his lips on mine, and we kissed until I tasted salt and Korix insistently pulled free of me. His eyes were wet while tear tracks shone on his cheeks.
“No one has come as close to making me happy as you have,” he said. “I don’t know if we can ever directly speak of love. Much as I’d like to, I’m not sure I could ever love you as much as you refuse to do the same for me, but partner? I can call you that.”
Damn. I’d never realized how important this was to him, never considered that he might not know how I felt. I leaned in for a gentle kiss.
“Ko, none of my partners have affected me like you do,” I said. “Do you know when I last went with a steady, single partner for this long? Never. And yes. Some of that has been the lack of feasibility and the need for me to keep away from the general populace, but a lot of it-”
Cupping Korix’s face, I held him steady.
“A lot of it is that you’re too damn good. If you were anyone else, I’d probably have gone crazy by now. So, listen to me carefully.”
I forced him to my eye level.
“You are my partner, and maybe, with time, you could be more. I see that much of a future between us,” I said. “You are the man I would step in front of an energy bolt for, not that I expect you to let that happen. I’d like to be a part of your life for as long as you’ll have me.”
“You think I’ll *ever* stop wanting you with me?” Korix interrupted.
The fire in his eyes burned me, but despite that, I smiled.
“I suppose you wouldn’t, would you?” I said.
“Never.”
Breaking free of my clutch, Korix lunged for me, and in the resulting pile of limbs, I had a hard time with keeping track of what went where. I knew his mouth stayed occupied with mine while the rush of its entanglement fueled my lock around him, and I knew his fingers grazed over my hips and waist for a while.
Considering this, things would have become much more heated, despite how little room we had, if our arrays and the skycruiser hadn’t soon informed us of our arrival home. Reluctantly, we peeled apart, and once we were on the ground, I climbed onto the landing pad.
In the hangar, we caught one another’s gaze over the top of rounded metal with both of us blazing a question there. Was it one we could answer, though?
# Chapter 42: Mm, So Many Distractions
Neither Korix nor I wanted to say something. If we did, our inevitable answer would become concrete, and having that uncertainty, that *energy,* floating between us…
Mother Time. It was both ridiculously tantalizing and enormously frustrating.
“You said you’d show me what you thought of what I’m wearing,” I said.
If a skycruiser weren’t standing between us, Korix probably would have knocked me to the floor then and there.
“I can do that later,” he said instead. “For now, we have guests to greet. *Your* guests.”
With a soft groan, I said, “We should probably make sure they’re not getting into trouble. I made the restrictions on where they can go as apparent as possible but…”
“Humanity’s curiosity has a way of getting people killed,” Korix said. “You never explained why we’re having a party here. I only went along with it because it seemed like a good test of your skills.”
I’d wondered why ever-private Korix had agreed to let several dozen guests into his home. Using it as a test made sense for him, but if he felt confident enough in me to allow such an invasion of his privacy, then…
Damn, hand-off of his role must be getting close.
Why didn’t he tell me these things? He knew that the only reason I’d stayed after the disaster with Fyester had been to free him from his position as the *Lokke Vitras.*
But I had an implied question to answer.
“I don’t have a practical reason for it. It’s Founder’s Day, a time when everyone, including us, should have a bit of fun. I know you don’t like public celebrations, so I thought something more private might be better,” I said. “But a part of it’s for me. I have few days as special as this left, so I wanted to celebrate it. Selfish perhaps but-”
I shrugged, slapping my hands to my thighs as I pushed away from the skycruiser.
“Yes, your sister mentioned that something was unusual about today, besides the obvious,” Korix said. “Neither of you answered my question about it.”
With a laugh, I headed for a door leading deeper into the estate.
“I’m not falling for that again, Ko. You’ve thoroughly taught me not to surrender information needlessly,” I said. “I’m not giving you something you already know.”
“But… I don’t know,” Korix said. “Not this time.”
Spinning, I spread my arms while continuing backward.
“Come on. You can’t expect me to believe that,” I said. “You know everything about me.”
Shaking his head, Korix said, “No, I don’t. I learned everything that I needed for your training but nothing more. I didn’t want to invade your life more than I had to. What does that have to do with today?”
I stopped short, dropping my arms. He actually looked confused, which alarmed me on a number of levels.
Maybe he was telling the truth. If he was, then… should I risk sharing? But why wouldn’t I?
“Today’s my birthday,” I said.
And Korix just blinked at me. No mild rebuke. No assignment of gardening yet to be done. I *hated* yard work.
“You were born on Founder’s Day?” he asked.
“Yes,” I said. “Quite the fuck up on House Drav’s part, huh?”
Korix started shaking, and unsure what that meant, I hurried to him. Before I could reach his side, though, he hung off the skycruiser with uncontrolled laughter pouring from him between gasps. If I hadn’t been so shocked solid by this, something I’d never seen before, I might have been offended.
“Are you…?”
Unsure how to finish that question, I reached for Korix, and he sprang upright, taking hold of my head.
“They didn’t make a mistake,” he said. “For once, one of the Houses got something completely, utterly right.”
He brought me in for a firm kiss before thrusting me away again.
“Do you know how exceptional you are, Zaeden?” he asked. “I’ve never said anything because I didn’t want it to go to your head, but you amaze me. After reviewing your logic and intelligence scores years ago, I knew you’d learn quickly, just as I knew you had an aptitude for what we do after Ostiu, but Mother Time! There have been weeks where you blew through my lessons before I’d prepared the next one.
“Eleven years of fighting and studying and working and you’re nearly ready to become the next *Lokke Vitras.* It took me three times as long to reach that point.
“You exemplify Lutov with your life. If anyone deserves to claim Founder’s Day as their own, it’s you.”
Each of his words settled on me like a stone, and I staggered beneath their weight. Korix had probably meant to pay me a compliment, but all I heard were the expectations I must meet, muted only by hysterical disbelief.
My whole life, people had told me that I was different—my parents, my partners, instructors when I’d been younger—but I’d never believed those assertions because I didn’t feel different. During House rotations, I’d fit like a glove with my fellow unHoused. When with my family, I’d played a persona they’d enjoy. I’d listened to, learned from, and occasionally debated with my instructors, as any good student would, and I’d adapted my behavior in small ways to each of my partners’ different needs.
Except with Korix. Besides those first few months, I’d only been myself with him…
Only been myself. I’d been playing parts for my entire life, and I’d done it so well that only one person had suspected me of faking. I was a chameleon, a ghost possessing a host of personas.
And even conforming to people’s expectations, I’d stood out. Now, the *Lokke Vitras,* most beloved and feared and exceptionally capable of people, echoed a long line of astounded exclamations about my worth, one that had trailed me for my whole life.
I didn’t want to be different. I wanted to disappear in Lutov’s sea of humanity.
So, I shifted attention away from myself as much as I could.
With a nervous giggle, I asked, “Is this your way of saying happy birthday?”
There was that signature twitch of the lips, the one that had only spawned warmth in me over the years.
“Do you want those words from me? I can say them if you like,” Korix said, “or you can let my actions speak for themselves.”
“Since when have I preferred words over deeds?” I asked.
“That’s what I thought.”
Taking my hand, he led me away from the hangar and the uneasiness that had hung over me there. Before we stepped into an occupied part of the house, I pulled Korix to a stop, offering him an item from my coat.
“The last part of your disguise,” I said.
Korix took the mask with two fingers, dangling it in front of his face while I retrieved mine.
“I understand why I needed to change clothes, just as I understand why I should hide my features. They’re well known, to my dismay,” he said, “but won’t these masks make us stand out just as much as my face would? Also, why didn’t you have to change?”
“Are you complaining?” I asked.
After fixing my mask to my face, I threw the long tails of my coat back, which had blue illumination faintly splashing on the walls, and bent until Korix’s hips were a few centimeters from my nose. There, I stayed, looking up at him. Waiting for his reaction.
Red crept up his neck, reaching for his cheeks, and he cleared his throat.
“Why would I do that?” he said.
Shooting upright, I said, “I didn’t think you would. As for your question about the masks, put yours on and follow me. You’ll see why I’m having you wear one soon enough.”
With a sigh, Korix did as I’d asked, and we moved on. As soon as we stepped into the living room, however, he stopped short.
I knew why he’d done that. I’d never seen so many people in a normally still and silent room. Now, it was the opposite of that.
Drones were holding steady at the entrances to forbidden hallways while more of them flashed from one end of the room to the other. They collected glasses, discarded used napkins, and in general, cleaned up after the space’s occupants.
A handful of our guests were in here, wearing outfits infinitely more ridiculous than what we’d seen at the Founder’s Day Ball. Too much color contrasted with their surroundings’ monochromatic theme, and the state of dress here ranged from nearly non-existent to layers piled atop one another.
Multiple conversations interlaced into a blur with the drones’ whirring providing a background base. From another room, synthesized dance music—a style currently popular—thrummed, a trembling beat that disturbed this place's steady hum.
Some people were dancing or swaying to this, a rush of activity that those sitting on the couch or the floor counteracted. They talked or kissed or caressed one another, the barest of movements when compared to everyone on their feet.
And all of them were wearing masks, concealing their features.
So, yes. I understood why Korix was struggling to move right now. Not only were several possible hostiles, none of whom we could identify, surrounding us, but this scene, pasted on top of the living room’s typical air, was far more jarring than I’d expected.
Which wasn’t to say that I disliked it. Far from that. A silly grin had planted itself on my face, and I doubted it was moving anytime soon.
“I don’t like this,” Korix said, as if to contradict my mood.
“Don’t worry,” I said. “The drones won’t let anyone wander into private rooms. I wrote tonight’s security parameters myself.”
“That’s not what I meant,” Korix grumbled.
Hooking my arm around his, I patted it.
“I know.”
I led him into another room, one that I’d planned as a quiet zone. Here, people were chatting in a murmur while snacking on refreshments. As I wandered around the space with Korix, I forced him to talk, gradually lowering that guardedness that he wore like armor, and after a while, he relaxed.
Only then did I start teasing him.
Over my many years of dating, I’d become an expert in this game, and though Korix was older than me, I was more experienced with romantic relationships. He might be the *Lokke Vitras,* but unless a mission or my training constrained him to his rigid role, he was putty in my hands.
This was how within the hour, I had him in a bedroom with four of our guests, and despite several dozen strangers partying under his roof, Korix’s only focus was me. With the other four people sufficiently distracted, I returned his attention, running a hand over his shoulders and back.
“How are we doing?” I asked.
A small grimace flashed over Korix’s face, one that he quickly smoothed away. His firm control had always loosened when he was distracted like this.
“I still don’t like what you’ve done to my home,” he said.
Arching an eyebrow, I drawled, “But?”
“But I suppose it’s acceptable for one night,” Korix huffed.
“Excellent,” I said. “I’ll keep that in mind for the future.”
At my smirk, Korix fell still.
“I didn’t mean we should have more-” he started.
Laughing, I covered his mouth with my palm.
“I know,” I said. “Let’s focus elsewhere, shall we? You still haven’t rewarded me for how much work I put into my appearance tonight. I’m beginning to think you don’t like it.”
Flicking his eyes over me, Korix brushed my arm off of him, but rather than pulling me closer, as I’d expected, he stepped back. He had his head follow the same path as his earlier inspection, slowly dragging it up and down.
“Zaeden of no House, you spend far too much time teasing or working to irritate me,” he said. “Do you deny this?”
Confused, I cocked my head at him, noting that one of the couples nearby had broken off in their antics to watch.
“Why would I deny a truth?” I asked.
In a flash, Korix had hold of my coat, and he propelled me into the wall at my back. Dull pain flared along my spine, but hell, if it didn’t feel like bliss.
Pulling my mask off, Korix gently took hold of my jaw.
“And yet, you’re the only one in all of Lutov whose image is fixed in my mind,” he said.
His kiss pushed my head against drywall again, and I faintly tasted blood from where someone’s teeth had accidentally pinched a lip too hard, but I didn’t care. I was melting, fluid resin dribbling to the floor. We hit a mattress, frantic to resume where we’d left off in the skycruiser, and four sets of hands helped us strip stubborn clothing free.
In a cocoon of five people’s desire, I pupated, enduring all manner of delightful torment until I metamorphosed in a wash of ecstasy, a wonder that I’d ever be eager to repeat. Once all of us six butterflies had experienced the same, we blanketed one another before falling asleep with exhaustion sapping us.
I didn’t know what woke me up, but when I returned to consciousness, I stretched, checking the time. Morning had come, and over the next few hours, my guests would trickle back home, but that process had yet to begin, not in this room at least.
Wriggling from beneath a pile of limbs, I searched for Korix. He, predictably, had isolated himself in a corner with his back to it, but he’d stayed in this room, falling asleep with strangers nearby, because I was here.
A glow permeated me, and I gently pressed my lips to his forehead. I didn’t want to wake him up.
While I crouched with my chin on my knees and my arms wrapped around my legs, I watched the slow rise and fall of his chest until my stomach reminded me that I hadn’t fed it in over twenty-four hours. I probably should have eaten something at the ball, but in all of the excitement, I’d forgotten to do that. So, I headed for the kitchen, after finding and donning my slacks of course.
I had to step around several sleeping people on the way, and hell, it made me giddy. Last night had gone exactly as planned, and while I knew something like this would never happen again for me, I’d experienced it at least once in my life. I counted myself lucky.
When I heard activity coming from around the corner, I slowed down, cursing Korix’s refusal to install recorders on his estate for the first time. I didn’t expect trouble, but visually checking an unexpected oddity was always best before ambling into view.
Plastering my back to the wall, I lowered myself toward the ground before peaking around the corner. Further down the hall, someone was messing with a drone, pulling out its innards. I’d find this alone suspicious, but I could swear I knew this person too.
While I racked my brain for where I’d seen her before, she retrieved something from her pocket and shoved it into the drone. After a few adjustments, she put it back together before turning to leave, and as she moved out of view, I remembered how I knew her.
Years ago, I’d picked Fyester up from one of his parents’ social gatherings, accommodating his not-so-subtle attempt to escape its boring proceedings. When I’d arrived, that woman had been chatting with him, and while Fyester had introduced us, I couldn’t, for the life of me, remember her name.
It, however, wasn’t important.
That social gathering? Fyester’s parents had held it for their fellow House Cerullis members, which meant that this woman was most likely conjoined with the House that I’d suspected of underhanded activity for years. I hadn’t invited any of them to last night’s party, so why was she here?
As soon as she’d disappeared, I was racing down the corridor. Seizing the drone, I pulled it apart as quickly as I could, and when I saw what she’d placed inside, I sucked in a breath.
My suspicions had been validated. How I wished they hadn’t been.
For within this drone was the instrument of our destruction, and its timer was swiftly ticking down to zero.
***[TTS Chapter Forty-Two](https://hischosenfuture.com/attachments/147)***
# Chapter 43: I Made a Mistake
Over the course of several hundred years, House Cerullis, in their efforts to better understand our planet and what lay beyond it, had launched several satellites into space, the frontier that we Lutovish never dared brave again. With time, they’d made changes to what had once been solely observational devices.
Most of these additions had originated in House Zan. Of particular note, however, was the one that Zan used to put down rebellions in their testing grounds. The weapon fired a plasma beam powerful enough to annihilate an Ostium town, turning it into a glass-walled crater.
The control for such a weapon, the piece that pinpointed its target, was sitting in the drone that I was holding.
As soon as I saw this, I requested a direct connection with Korix, mumbling under my breath while I waited for him to accept it.
“Come on, come on, come-”
The connection established.
“Zae, where are you?” a voice stuffed with sleep asked. “What’s going-?”
“Look through my eyes,” I snapped. “Right fucking now.”
Silence filled a time ticking by at the rate of the device in front of me. I didn’t have enough of that to break through the control’s security processes, not when even years into my training, process cracking wasn’t my strong suit. I was hoping Korix, who was much better at it, could-
“Get Ace,” he said, calm and collected. “I’ll evacuate the estate.”
Shit.
“Are you sure you don’t want-?” I started.
An alarm blared from every drone near me, and people down the hall’s length jerked free of slumber.
“This is an emergency situation,” a soothing, female voice spoke in deafening volumes. “Please, head for the closest Travel Center as quickly as possible.”
This warning looped on itself, and on watching the resulting chaos, I realized that Korix had given me the hard job. Gritting my teeth, I barreled through panicking people as they scrambled for their belongings and tripped over themselves to escape an unknown danger.
Once I reached a cordoned-off part of the estate, the bedlam died down, even if the alarm kept going, and I was able to sprint, unimpeded, for the kitchen. A timer in my array, synced to the one on the control, urged me to move more quickly, but I was glad for this needed haste. It didn’t let me think much.
Right now, the only thing on my mind was how glad I was that Korix had told me to get Ace. That one of us would rescue my dog had never been in question, but I didn’t know what I’d have done if he’d told me to evacuate our guests first, leaving me to worry the whole time about whether we’d safely pull him out of the house.
Skidding into the kitchen, I found Ace pacing in front of his bed with his tail between his legs. When he saw me, he slink-trotted across the kitchen to plaster himself against my calf, shivering, and I snatched his leash from its place beside the door.
Attaching it to his collar, I rubbed his back, purposefully ignoring how much gray was peppered in his black fur. This racket was probably doing *wonders* for his health.
“I know you don’t like the noise,” I said, “but we have to run through it now. Can you do that, buddy?”
I plucked his favorite ball from his pile of toys, and while it didn’t garner me the fixed attention that it normally got, it did keep Ace somewhat focused. Now, I only needed to worry if he could keep up. He’d gotten sluggish in his old age.
After squeezing the ball so that a faint squeak rose over the alarm, I raced out of the kitchen, the only place where I’d felt safe for over a decade. Starting slow, I increased our speed until Ace and I were tearing through the house.
It seemed abandoned, which made sense. Our guests would have headed straight for their skycruisers after hearing the alarm.
Considering how many of those vehicles had filled the hangar last night and how many people we’d had in the house, I doubted any were available for us, so I headed for a door leading outside instead.
The Southern Fells’ moors lay beneath their typical layer of morning mist, leaving their stillness and peace as a stark contrast to the last few minutes. That peace rankled me when added to my racing thoughts and bubbling stomach. To the adrenaline that was sending me into hyperdrive.
These things made me quick, though, more so than my typical sprinting speed, and poor Ace was struggling to stay at my side. He couldn’t keep this up for much longer, which was a problem. Even at the rate we were traveling at, we’d never make it clear of the coming disaster zone before the timer hit zero.
Never stopping, I scooped Ace off of the ground, holding him firm and murmuring comforting words until he stopped squirming. Once he had, I fell into thoughtlessness, letting House Kolb speed zip us over the low hills.
When I snapped out of it, I’d reached the assembly point that Korix and I had established long ago for emergencies. A couple dozen vehicles had landed here, some belonging to Korix and some to guests, and a quick check on their statuses showed them in lockdown mode. That explained the lack of frantic people around me.
I set Ace down while scanning for Korix. He should be here, but I didn’t see him.
Had he returned to the estate for something? I doubted he’d be so sentimental.
Unless someone was stuck in the house. Or if he’d left an item required for Lutov’s security there.
With my heart in my throat, I turned toward the building, a dark blip against near-colorless grass. Above it, a satellite hung, a monstrosity so large that I could see it from the planet’s surface.
A blue glow built at its base, and I took a step forward to search the estate for Korix, no matter that I’d never reach it in time, but something jerked me to a stop.
Ace’s leash, still wrapped around my hand? No. That was-
The timer flicked to zero. A thin, white line shot toward the estate, fattening and brightening as it went. It seared my eyes, and in the next breath, a roar exploded in my ears. It was as if the voice of reality was protesting something wholly unnatural, and a gale billowed from the site of chaos, swaying me in place, before returning to a gentle breeze.
It faded with an echo of its brilliance blotting out a fraction of my sight. Soon enough, even that died, and left behind was a crater, maybe a kilometer wide, with glass walls reflecting the sunlight.
The ringing in my ears left me just as reluctantly as what had blocked my sight, but after a few seconds, Ace’s barking penetrated it.
It was gone. Our refuge. My home. And Korix-
“That was overkill,” a muffled voice said.
It was him. He was fine.
I hadn’t seriously thought he’d be stupid enough to return for something, but having that small doubt relieved might have had me crying if potential witnesses hadn’t been surrounding us right now. It would definitely have had me sweeping him into my arms.
As it was, I recognized that his fingers in my waistband were keeping me pinned in place, so I rocked back on my heels. Once both feet were firmly planted in the grass, Korix released me, and I resisted the urge to dig the heels of my palms into my eyes. Having him behind me was the only thing kept me from losing it. Mother Time, I was so utterly, ridiculously glad that he couldn’t see my face.
“This is my fault,” I said.
*“Kuvesk…”*
“It’s my fucking fault!” I repeated in a strangled yell. “I got your home destroyed. If I’d stayed true to everything you’ve taught me, if I hadn’t indulged my desires, we’d be waking up right now or making breakfast while waiting for a mission.”
“Doubtful,” Korix said. “Calm down, *kuvesk.* You’re worrying Ace.”
Reaching around me, he plucked the ball out of my loose fingers, and it soared away with Ace reluctantly trotting after it. Korix rounded to my side, crossing his arms as he examined the crater in the distance.
“If whoever did this was willing to go to such extreme measures, they’d have found a way to get into the house regardless. They’d have planted the satellite’s control whether we’d had a party or not,” he said. “So don’t blame yourself. It’s counterproductive. Plus, the only things destroyed were possessions. Everything precious made it out.”
He gave me a pointed look before starting toward a nearby tree.
“Come now. We should debrief.”
Even with the command, I waited for Ace to return before following Korix with the fluff ball beside me. As we approached, he pulled something off of a tree branch, and I gratefully accepted my coat from last night. The moors were always chilly, but they were uncomfortably cold when one was half-clothed.
As I threw the coat on, I noticed extra weight hanging in one of its inner pockets. When I reached to investigate, however, Korix shook his head.
“Look later, once things have calmed down,” he said. “You were meant to find it while gathering your laundry, but… plans change.”
A gift? That was unlike him, but then, we’d both dropped our roles since leaving Ibis yesterday. We’d both let emotions freely flow and discussed personal topics, although perhaps not the ones we should have.
The Founder’s Day Ball and subsequent party had masked it, but the pressure that we’d accrued over the last few months had reached a breaking point. I’d started seeing my victims’ faces on random people, which was new, and I’d noticed Korix getting jittery in recent days.
Discussing what we meant to one another was well and good, but sometime soon, we needed to have another, halting talk about the damage that we’d taken because of the parts we played. We needed to work out new practices that might help us handle our burdens.
Not now, though. Now, we needed to figure out who’d just tried to murder us, although I already had my theories.
Going rigid, I folded my arms behind my back, the same way I did for every mission report, but Korix waved for me to relax, folding to sit cross-legged at the base of the tree.
“No need for formality this time. This incident isn’t official yet,” he said. “Get comfortable, and help me calm Ace down.”
My poor dog did look stressed, panting so hard that drool was dripping to the grass from his jaw. When I folded to the ground beside Korix, he padded to us, slowly wagging his tail, and collapsed between our legs.
Scratching Ace’s ear, Korix said, “How did you come across a satellite’s control in the house?”
“I stumbled upon a House Cerullis member fiddling with a drone while on my way to get breakfast,” I said. “I have no idea how she got close enough to overpower one. The security parameters that I wrote should have had the drone playing keep away for as long as she chose to pursue it. I also don’t know how she got into the house in the first place. I didn’t invite her to the party.”
“Maybe someone else did,” Korix said.
“Who? You?” I asked. “No one else would have thought to do something so rude.”
Staring at his hand, which he was running over Ace’s back, Korix shrugged.
“People break social norms all the time,” he said, “and she could have been someone’s plus one.”
“Maybe. I suppose it doesn’t matter how she got inside, only that she did,” I said. “I let her finish with what she was doing, hoping to keep from spooking her. Look how well that went.”
I bunched my fingers in Ace’s fur, and he shifted his head to my thigh, looking up at me.
“You did the right thing,” Korix said. “You couldn’t have known what she was doing to that drone, not without recorders to spy on her.”
“Still. I thought I could handle whatever she was planting, but once again, my abominable process cracking skills fucked me over,” I said. “Well, not me. Us. Hell, I’ve made us homeless-”
At House Kolb speed, Korix reached for me, making me tense, but all he did was lay a hand on my shoulder, briefly squeezing it.
“This is not. your. fault,” he said, “and even if it had been and you did make us homeless, we’d only stay that way for a few weeks while a new house was built. As it is, have you forgotten about the apartment in Xygek? That can be our home just as easily as what we’ve lost. Mother Time, Zaeden. The only things gone are possessions, easily replaced.”
He was right. I knew this, but letting go of guilt took more effort than it should.
“Fine,” I breathed.
With one more squeeze, Korix returned his attention to Ace, and for a little while, I bit my lip, doing nothing more than radiate as much reassurance toward my dog as I could.
“What do we do now?” I eventually asked. “Should I go after the woman who started this? She could tell us whether we have a single person to fight or if a House has turned against us.”
Not that I had any doubt about which of those it would be. After they’d *glassed our home,* it seemed pretty clear that something was wrong within Cerullis’ ranks. Maybe I could use Alezand’s invitation from last night to start investigating his House.
But Korix was shaking his head.
“Going after the instigator of today’s incident would serve no purpose. Once you share her appearance with Talira, other House Kolb members can find her for us,” he said. “It’s better if we’re proactive. I have a persona embedded in Cerullis. Maybe we can use it to get answers. First, though, we’ll wait for emergency services to retrieve our guests, avoid them once they arrive, and check in with *shukusen* Talira. She’ll probably want a say in what we do.”
“That does sound like my grandmother,” I said.
Thunking my head against the tree’s trunk, I closed my eyes.
“Anything I should know from the time you’ve spent as a House Cerullis member?” I asked.
“Only that their focus has shifted in recent years from a number of scattered fields to one of singular intensity on the planet’s atmosphere,” Korix said. “Besides that, everything’s as it has been for the last several hundred years.”
Huh. Why the fixation? The Houses usually spread their members as far across their designated specialty as they could, hoping to gain more power with it. What could have driven Cerullis to a single point of interest? Was something wrong with our planet’s atmosphere, and if so, why hadn’t they reported it?
“We should go,” Korix said.
Cracking an eye open, I spotted flashing lights on the horizon and got to my feet. I’d like to stay and ensure that these people were safe, but Korix was right about avoiding emergency services. If we stayed, they’d tie us up with questions, ones we’d have to answer if we were to avoid inciting suspicion, and considering our circumstances, time was of the essence. We’d done our due diligence by making sure that emergency services had arrived.
So, while their vehicles landed between others, still in lockdown mode, Korix and I slunk into the moor’s mist with Ace trotting beside us.
***[TTS Chapter Forty-Three](https://hischosenfuture.com/attachments/148)***
# Chapter 44: Next Steps
After we’d walked for quite a while, enough to ensure that no one would interrupt us, Korix stopped, requesting a direct connection. He looped me into it while also preparing to project my grandmother between us. She’d always preferred visual communication over audio alone.
When Korix’s palm began to glow with a projection imminent, I braced for Talira’s entrance, which proved to be a smart course of action. Her image leapt into the air between us with her face stormy, and it only grew more so once she saw us.
“What the fuck is going on in the Southern Fells?” she snapped.
“Nothing of consequence, my *shukusen,”* Korix said. “My *kuvesk* and I have it handled.”
“The hell you do,” Talira said. “I’ve received reports of a glassing near your location. Tell me what happened, or I swear to Mother Time, I will send a host of Second Strata after you again.”
Wincing, Korix said, “Please. Don’t waste the resources. My *kuvesk* will give you a report on what happened.”
As my grandmother turned to me, I internally flinched. What did Korix expect me to say?
“Someone attacked us,” was what I settled on. “We got away. Now, we’re working to figure out who was stupid enough to try killing the *Lokke Vitras.”*
Dismissing me like an annoying aide, Talira returned her attention to Korix.
“Someone glassed your estate?” she said.
Damn. I’d never heard my grandmother sound so hollow before.
“Yes,” Korix said, “but it’s hardly something my *shukusen* need concern herself-”
“The *fuck* it is!” Talira shrieked. “What do you think happens to my standing when I can’t keep my First Stratus, *my damn heir,* safe in the homeland?”
Korix had pulled away from her image, not that I could blame him. Talira had never been so furious around me before, but at least she was part of my family. I could only imagine what hearing such ferocity from one’s former *evushk* was like.
“Forgive me, my *shukusen,* but you have nothing to worry about,” he said. “My *kuvesk* and I can handle this without it reflecting poorly on you.”
“Mmhmm. That seems likely, in light of what’s happened to your fucking home,” Talira said. “No, my *Lokke Vitras.* You will go to the closest estate to you and request refuge. I’ll prepare the way for you there, not that it should matter. Niklaus owes me a favor, so if you invoke my name, he’ll welcome you into his home, regardless of the difference in your Houses. Await further instructions while I work through this mess. Do you understand your orders?”
Keeping his hand level, Korix bowed.
“Yes, my *shukusen,”* he said.
“Good. Zae-zae?” Talira said, flipping to me. “Make sure he does as he’s told, ok?”
I inclined my head to her, which only made her face go sour. She knew from experience what that meant, but for the moment, she’d get nothing more than conditional agreement from me.
“Dammit, both of you will be stubborn about this,” she said to herself before focusing. “You have your orders. What you do with them is your prerogative.”
She winked out of existence, letting Korix lower his hand. For a moment, we stared at one another in silence, but soon enough, I broke it.
“So, what’s the plan?” I asked.
“You’ll take Ace to Niklaus’ estate like Talira wanted,” Korix said. “Wait there until you hear from me. I don’t expect that I’ll be gone long, no more than a couple of days.”
“You expect me to sit around, bored out of my mind, while you fix our problem alone?” I asked.
With his lips twitching, Korix said, “Oh, I doubt very much that you’ll be bored, Zae.”
My nickname on his tongue transformed my angry retort into a stutter, and before I could get myself back under control, Korix stepped closer to kiss me. When he pulled away, it was by a fraction.
“Check what’s in your pocket once I’m out of sight,” he said with his lips brushing mine, “and remember how much I can’t love you.”
Releasing me, he petted Ace before turning away.
“Wait!” I called.
But House Kolb speed had already carried him out of hearing range, and I was alone.
Well, alone save for one extremely loyal dog.
Scratching Ace’s back, I acquired the coordinates for the mysterious Niklaus’ estate. I’d known that other people had been living near us while I’d been training—to be expected in Lutov’s overcrowded state—but I’d never visited our neighbors. When would I have found the time to do that?
This man’s home was on the other side of the river that fed into Lake Phiabe, meaning a couple of kilometers lay between it and me, but I wasn’t terribly worried about it. A distance like that should be manageable on foot.
For now, I avoided requesting an identity check on Niklaus. Under the circumstances, finding out everything that I could about him would be wise, but given what had happened this morning, I’d need a challenge to keep from worrying over the next day or so. Better to leave my soon-to-be-host’s identity as a mystery, at least for a little while.
So, I started off, ignoring the weight in my pocket. As the sun finished its arch overhead, Ace and I passed through the Southern Fells’ moors at a swift jog, and when that fiery orb eventually reached the mountains’ crests, I started looking for a good campsite, building a fire once I’d found one.
For tonight, I went without food. Appeasing hunger pangs wouldn't be worth the effort of finding something to eat, and I wasn’t yet concerned about my lack of food. By the time I reached my destination, hunger should have only a minor hold on me.
I felt bad for Ace, though. Not only was so much physical activity hell on his aging body, as evidenced by his flop to the ground when we stopped, but he didn’t understand why we were going hungry tonight. Nestled against me, he whined from time to time, and I always responded by rubbing his back or sides or jaw, wishing I could do more.
Once he’d gotten settled and I’d made myself as safe as I could in such an open environment, I withdrew the addition of mass to my coat. It was a bound book, one I knew well.
Korix had been so pleased when I’d asked if I could add this to his library, shelving it in one of his most favored spots. Why would he have slipped it into my pocket last night?
When I absently flipped through it, a scrap of paper flew free of its pages, and I snatched it out of the air before mud could obscure its words. As I read the barely legible scrawl at the top, however, heat crept into my cheeks.
*No one will own me,* it read.
Damn, I’d been so naive when I’d written that, still idealistically believing I could somehow gain my freedom in this locked-tight society.
That one sentence was no longer alone, though. A much neater hand had added more to my childhood declaration.
*You were supposed to find this years ago, Zae,* it read, *but I’ve gotten tired of waiting. It’s time to make this easy for you. Happy birthday.*
And below that lay an older entry.
*Is this your motivation,* kuvesk? *If so, I admire you for it.*
*So many people in Lutov are happy to live in their gilded cages while imposing a much harsher imprisonment on the children of Ibis, but you see the bars around you. Never forget that they exist and that you are chained to something you would never have chosen. And…*
*Never forget to resist it, Zaeden. Mother Time if I don’t feel like a hypocrite for writing that, but my greatest desire is to see you live a happier life than I have.*
*So, yes, know that Lutov owns you, heart and spark of soul, but never, NEVER stop fighting it. If you do, maybe one day you’ll be free like I never was. I pray to everything that might be holy that you find a way to break out of your cage.*
Lifting the paper scrap to my lips with trembling hands, I closed my eyes while breathing in a musty scent and the concern of someone who cared for me, and once I’d committed the message to memory, I fed the paper to my evening fire, watching it burn in a flash. Falling into the grass, I patted my stomach, and once Ace had lain his head there, I ran my hands through his fur, absently gazing at shining stars.
How many years had it been since I’d resigned myself to my fate? Eleven, if I counted from the time when Korix had made me his replacement?
And now, the man who’d started me on this path, one that was so free and yet tied in service to Lutov, had encouraged me to fight it. How could I do that without resigning Korix to more time in a role that was slowly breaking him? I pondered this conundrum as the moon climbed higher in the sky until even my body, accustomed to little sleep, surrendered to it.
The next morning, I continued in the same persistent slog toward where my grandmother expected me to go. Many thoughts bounced in my head as I climbed and descended rolling hills.
Had Korix once more assumed his deep-cover persona as a House Cerullis member? Had Talira made contact to chew him out yet? Was he safe?
And regarding my situation.
Who was Niklaus, and what House did he claim? Why did an identity check on him—I couldn’t hold out any longer—return with nothing? Most importantly, why had Korix thought that I wouldn’t get bored while staying with this man?
When I ran across water, I followed the riverbank north until I found a bridge. Wading across the river would have been much simpler, and Ace probably would have enjoyed it more, but I’d rather keep my appearance somewhat in order before meeting my host. After foregoing bathing for the last two days, I was already disheveled enough, which made me sick to my stomach. I could handle the privation and scruffiness that came with surviving in the wild, but when possible, I’d rather avoid it.
Which made spying a bump of human construction on the horizon all the sweeter.
Reaching it took a while longer, of course, with the sun about halfway to the western horizon as I made my final approach.
In terms of extravagance, Niklaus’ estate ran somewhere between what Korix and my parents claimed. It had a main house plus two additional buildings nearby, and while no wall surrounded it, evidence of a garden peeked from the back.
The landscaping around the place felt similar to the Eastern Reaches’ historical topography, from before production facilities’ pollution had warped it, and the buildings’ style of architecture rang old-fashioned in nature, which was strange.
Even though I’d sent notice ahead, no one stood ready to greet me. As I finished climbing into the persona of an impeccable guest, I knocked on the building’s front door.
A drone answered it.
“Greetings,” it said in a mechanical voice. “Please, forgive my master’s absence. He likes to give his guests time to unwind from the stress of travel before saying hello. If you’ll follow me, I’ll show you to where you and your… pet will sleep while staying with us.”
It drifted past me.
“O… k…” I said under my breath.
But I followed it. The drone took us to one of the adjoining buildings, and as we approached it, its door sprang open. Stopping, the drone rotated toward me.
“Inside, you’ll find a wardrobe filled with clothes. Something in there should fit you. Please, feel free to clean up and change,” it said. “My master would like to meet you for dinner, which is scheduled an hour from now. He would prefer it if the… beast remained here.”
My smile tightened.
“I will keep your master’s preferences in mind,” I said, “but please inform him that *Ace* and I have recently suffered a loss. Considering that, *I* would prefer it if I didn’t have to leave him alone for an extended period of time.”
The lights on the drone blinked for several seconds while I patiently waited.
“My master says that you may bring your pet if you can guarantee its good behavior,” it eventually said.
With a slight bow, I said, “Many thanks for your hospitality and understanding.”
Having nothing further to say, I strode into the building, which looked to be a guesthouse upon closer examination. After the door had shut and locked behind me, I found all nearby recorders and rendered them sightless. Isolated, I had Ace sit at the door while I circled the building’s interior in search of anything that might cause me harm. Talira might have said that this man owed her a favor, but that didn’t mean I trusted him.
Even if I had, I’d have performed a security sweep. I did the same thing every night back home, after all. Or I had.
Once I was satisfied that I was relatively safe, I set an easily dismantled trap outside the entrance to the washroom and got my appearance in order. This didn’t take me long, no matter that I lingered in the shower for a moment, and with at least half an hour remaining until dinner, I was faced with a choice.
Did I stay where I was, appeasing my host? That would mean trusting that he had nothing nasty in store for me. Or did I risk displeasing him and go out for reconnaissance?
The decision was simple, really.
“Come on, buddy,” I said to Ace.
***[TTS Chapter Forty-Four](https://hischosenfuture.com/attachments/149)***
# Chapter 45: Surveillance Run
Ace and I left the guesthouse, circling the main building. At the first side entrance we found, I broke through its security processes before holding an open palm in front of Ace’s nose. When he looked up at me with a sloppy grin, I blessed Mother Time that dogs’ memories could be so short.
“Seek,” I said.
He went alert, closing his jaw and lowering his body toward the ground.
Checking the feed of the recorder inside the door, I set it to hiccup on itself while I slipped into the house with Ace at my side. Together, we crept along halls and snuck into rooms, finding nothing of interest everywhere we looked.
The only oddity of note was the house’s extremely old-fashioned architecture. I had to manually open nearly all of the doors and windows, which made for an interesting challenge. I’d never had to worry about something like squeaky hinges before, not on this side of the water at least.
I paused in a large chamber, filled with shelves, but a series of locking glass panes covered each of these bookcases. No matter how many interesting titles I saw here, it wasn’t worth picking locks to get a closer look now.
Maybe later.
In the same vein, much as I might want to thoroughly investigate Niklaus’ study, I didn’t head that way. I was only doing a quick check for obvious danger, and ransacking that room would take time. Better to save it for if my host showed any signs of hostility.
Time was running short, so I made my way to the closest means of egress, satisfied for now that Niklaus meant me no harm. I’d found no poisons in his sad, little kitchen or elsewhere, and while I’d noted a few swords and gunpowder pistols around the house—again, an unexpected touch of ancient history—they’d all been on display, definitely not ready for use.
I could do a more thorough search of the house after my host had gone to bed, but for now, I had to meet him.
Nearing a window, I was in the middle of tackling its security processes when a sound that I’d earlier noted registered in my head. Someone on this floor was playing a piano. *Beautifully.*
Niklaus? I wouldn’t have pegged him for the musical type, based on how he’d arranged and decorated his home. It could be him, but… I doubted it.
Maybe he had another guest here. I’d seen no sign of one, though, and if someone else was visiting, why would Niklaus have put me in his guesthouse while his other guest was sleeping under his roof? Maybe he meant to insult me.
The simplest way to answer these questions, of course, would be to follow the music to its source or find the pianist on the house’s recorders, but I had neither the time nor the inclination to do that now. I’d ask Niklaus about it instead.
Opening the window, I stepped to the side, pointing through it.
“Jump,” I said.
A heartbeat later, a mass of gray and black blurred past me, and once I’d climbed through afterward, I patted Ace’s head.
“Good boy.”
With the window latched, I made my way toward the path that led to the house’s front door. Once there, I fished for the sliver of jerky that I’d had the refectory make while I’d been in Niklaus’ kitchen, crouching so I could offer it to Ace.
I knew it wasn’t the healthiest of treats for a dog, but he’d had a rough couple of days, and he’d done a good job while accompanying me through the house. He deserved a reward.
His good behavior carried over to this moment, where he stared at the jerky I was pinching between two fingers, never moving.
“Found,” I said.
With his tail furiously wagging, Ace came forward to carefully take the treat, and then, it was gone, sucked down by the vacuum of a dog’s never-ending hunger. I took a minute to thoroughly pet him, letting him know what a good boy he was, before rising from my crouch and holding a palm in front of his nose.
“Glue,” I said.
Nothing about Ace’s happy demeanor changed, but he padded behind me and to my left, maintaining this position as we strolled to the front door. Again, I knocked, but this time, a human greeted me.
A few centimeters shorter than me, Niklaus let his age show through his gray hair and wrinkles, which was unusual in a society with the ability to maintain a youthful demeanor. His display of age continued with his clothing choice. All of it was in muted colors with a styling from a few centuries ago.
Brown eyes critically looked me over before he beamed, reaching out to shake my hand.
“Welcome, welcome,” he said with the joviality in his voice catching me off-guard. “Please, come inside.”
He waved me into his home, and I stepped over the threshold, glancing over the interior as if seeing it for the first time. Brushing past me, Niklaus strode down a hall, presumably expecting that I’d follow.
It was a good assumption.
“When I received *shukusen* Talira’s request earlier today, I thought for sure that I’d be entertaining a brute, but you seem to have good manners, if also an unfortunate affection for an animal,” he said. “You must be high Stratus indeed, young man.”
Oh, boy. I could already tell that the next few days would be *frustrating.*
Also, young man? How did he know that, and why was he saying it like my age had some bearing on how he viewed me?
“Something like that,” I said. “I take that to mean you’re not House Kolb, then?”
“Mother Time, *no,”* Niklaus said. “House Kirst has held my loyalty for a long time now.”
Humming, I said, “Kirst rotations were some of my favorites when I was unHoused. Its members were kind to us.”
Glancing over his shoulder, Niklaus flashed a smile at me.
“So young and high Stratus too,” he said. “You must be quite talented.”
He had no idea.
Ignoring the man’s fishing attempt, I cocked my head while scrunching up my face.
“Is that… music?” I asked.
It was, although this time it was the violin that beckoned me to it. With Niklaus in front of me, that meant another, unknown person occupied the house, which I didn’t like.
“Oh, yes. That would be my daughter,” Niklaus said. “I should probably introduce you.”
Daughter? As in someone who lived here long-term? How had I missed signs of her in my recon?
With Niklaus leading the way, keeping thankfully silent, the violin’s singing swelled in volume. Whoever this daughter was, she claimed absolute mastery of her instrument, coaxing such lovely *emotion* from it that my heart stirred in response, and I had to remind myself that I was, for all intents and purposes, on a mission right now.
Niklaus eased a set of wooden, double doors open, and the song tumbled forth. He beckoned me inside, stopping beside the doorframe. Hugging himself, he watched his daughter with affection, and following the line of his gaze, I nearly tripped over myself, barely stopping a cough.
Standing in front of towering windows, Niklaus’ daughter swayed in place with her white shift flowing around her. The evening’s golden light shot through the windows in beams, making the darkened form under her dress stand out against its fabric.
With her eyes closed, she cradled her violin like a most precious child with each draw of the bow on its strings shifting her silver and purple locks around her face. She poured herself into her music, holding nothing back.
I was caught in it, trapped by the scene’s beauty to the point that I couldn’t acknowledge the obvious problem with who was standing in front of me. Not yet.
The musical piece reached its end with her bow raised in a final flourish, and she stayed motionless while the final vibrations from her violin’s strings faded. Meanwhile, I started cursing in my head, wondering how I’d balance her with who I now knew her father to be.
“Beautiful as always,” Niklaus said. “If you have a moment, Leski dear, I have someone I’d like you to meet.”
Turning, she opened her eyes, and as they widened, Korix’s warning from days before rang in my head.
*I would advise caution if you court her. Her father’s a founder.*
Shit.
***[TTS Chapter Forty-Five](https://hischosenfuture.com/attachments/150)***
# Chapter 46: Hello, Beautiful
Leski sucked in air like a dying fish, and from the corner of my eye, I caught Niklaus glancing between us.
*“You!”* she shrieked.
Wincing, I cautiously smiled, flicking two fingers in a wave.
“Me,” I said.
“Do you two know one another?” Niklaus asked.
Dragging my attention to him, a concerned parent, took more effort than it should.
“We briefly met during the Founder’s Day Ball,” I said.
“What are you doing here?” Leski shouted.
Her volume shot my gaze her way again. I was beginning to feel like a ball, getting batted between father and daughter.
“I needed a place to stay for a few days,” I said. “My…”
Did Niklaus know who Talira was to me?
Did it matter one way or the other? Leski knew I didn’t have a House, which meant I couldn’t call Talira my *shukusen* without distancing her, and I found myself strangely reluctant to tell her a lie.
I could deal with the fallout that might come from this revelation.
“My grandmother asked your father to shelter me until we can figure something else out.”
At my side, Niklaus jumped, pulling away from me. Probably requesting an identity check on me as well, and knowing it would be as blank as what his had returned as, his subsequent look of frustration curled my lips the slightest amount.
Mother Time, he was a founder…
That explained a lot of the questions I’d had over the last couple of days. Of the ones who were still alive, they were probably afforded more privileges than the average Lutovish citizen, hence why the identity check on him had been returned blank. Hence why Talira knew him.
“Forgive me, but exactly who are you?” Niklaus asked. “I probably should have asked before now, but I thought you might prefer anonymity if Talira sent you. A name would be nice, though, so we can properly address you.”
Leski brightened from her piercing scrutiny of me.
“Oh!” she said. “He’s-”
“Garreth,” I interrupted. “You can call me Garreth.”
Leski frowned, which only seemed to double Niklaus’ apprehension, so I fully faced him.
“Your drone mentioned something about dinner?”
I’d been looking forward to it ever since hearing that glorious word. The snack I’d eaten while sneaking through the house’s kitchen earlier had merely dulled my days-long hunger pangs. I’d only taken enough so that shaking hands wouldn’t make a fool of me while sharing a meal with my host.
“We’re having dinner already?” Leski asked. “Damn. I must have lost track of time.”
“Language, dear,” Niklaus absently said.
He held my gaze as if in challenge, and I met it with a pleasant smile. This man might be the oldest person I’d ever met, giving him plenty of experience in catching deceit, but if he knew that the name I’d given him was false, he couldn’t accuse me of it. Not yet. Doing so would be impolite.
A gasp broke our staring contest. With her hand to her mouth, Leski shone wide eyes toward my feet before sprinting at me.
As my reflexes activated, I slid out of her path, setting my stance for trouble, but I wasn’t her target. Falling into a crouch, Leski reached for my silent shadow, and for a moment, my heart seized in my chest while I scrambled to remember if I’d set Ace into an aggressive behavioral mode.
But when Leski rubbed his chest, he didn’t move from where he was sitting, slowly wagging his tail instead.
“Aren’t you beautiful?” she said before glancing at me. “What’s her name?”
*“His* name is Ace,” I said, “and if you wouldn’t mind, I’d prefer it if you leave him be for now. He’s working and doesn’t need any distractions while doing that.”
“Yes, Leski dear. Leave the dog alone,” Niklaus said. “You’ll get dander on your dress.”
Leski’s freckled face folded on itself, and I lifted a hand to stop her protest.
“You can give him all of the love and attention you want when he’s not working,” I said. “I’m sure he’d like the comfort. He’s lost a home too.”
Jerking her head toward me, Leski gaped with her lips parting, and rejecting her pity, I turned to her father. He wasn’t much better, though. With his face pinched, he looked slightly green, and when I cleared my throat, this picture of discomfort only eased a little.
“Dinner?” I asked with a raised eyebrow.
“Yes,” Niklaus said. “Yes, let’s… If you’ll come with me”
He swept out of the room, but I paused before following him, gesturing for Leski to go ahead of me. Still crouched, she examined me through narrowed eyes.
“You lost your home?” she asked. “How did something like that happen?”
“More easily than you might think,” I said. “Please, Leski. Let’s not alarm your father.”
Making a face, Leski straightened, brushing off the front of her dress.
“My father could use more excitement in his life,” she said.
But she left the room.
As soon as she was out of sight, I rubbed my face. Korix had been right. The next few days would be a *blast.*
We took dinner in a dining room. Niklaus placed me on his left, which I found gratifying. After years of practice, I didn’t have a dominant hand anymore, and since most people in Lutov were right-handed, having full range of motion in the opposite—the hand no one expected—would give me a slight advantage right now.
Niklaus used the most formal of etiquette at his table. We waited beside our relegated chairs until the drones had brought our food out, only sitting once they’d finished. I had Ace lay behind me, unable to get him any further away from Niklaus without breaking him out of follow mode.
Here, practically every other Lutovish family would begin their feast, but Niklaus was a founder. He came from a time with much stiffer social norms.
So, I didn’t lift my utensils off of the table or take a single bite of the food in front of me. Folding my hands in my lap, I gave the head of this household my full attention, which he seemed to find surprising. Even still, he swirled the wine in his glass before sipping it and tasting his food. Lowering his glass and utensils, he nodded.
“Satisfactory,” he said. “Let us share in the bounty spread before us and enjoy one another’s company.”
“Gratitude to the provider,” I said.
Hearing my voice mingling with hers, Leski rapidly blinked, but Niklaus seemed pleased.
Finally allowed to do so, I dug into my food and suppressed a disappointed sigh. This dish was good. Of that, there was no doubt, but it tasted heavily of refectory preparation. Korix and I could blow it out of the water with the simplest of our meals.
Perhaps I could persuade Niklaus to let me cook for him while I was here, assuming I could find the ingredients I’d need. Doing it wouldn’t be the same without Korix at my side, though.
How was he? Was he safe?
Hell. These thoughts were making my eyes burn while my chest felt like it was collapsing on itself. So, no matter how much I hated doing it, I took everything Korix-related in me, shoved it deep down inside—in the place where my emotions went—and threw a lock on it.
“Garreth, what is it that you do to advance your House?” Niklaus asked.
In the middle of a bite, I took my time with chewing and swallowing. What a way to start a conversation. If he continued with personal questions like this throughout the meal, speaking only the truth without giving myself away would be difficult.
“I do nothing for a House,” I said. “But for Lutov? I do many things, most of which are inappropriate topics for this table.”
“Ah, yes,” Niklaus said. “We should shield Leski from House Kolb violence.”
That… hadn’t been what I’d meant at all. Where in the *hell* had he pulled that conclusion from my words?
“Why would you think I need protection from it?” Leski asked. “I go through House Kolb rotations, the same as any other unHoused. I know what they do.”
“True,” Niklaus said with a nod, “but the general instruction you receive during rotations is different from the nitty-gritty details of a Kolb mission. Isn’t that right, Garreth?”
Wow. What a disdainful tone. He *really* didn’t like House Kolb, did he?
“During missions, many things occur that aren’t taught to the unHoused, yes, but everyone relies on the basics. I couldn’t tell you how many times a simple disarm has saved my life,” I said. “Mother Time, Fifth Stratus Karise despaired of teaching me that technique during my rotations. How is she, by the way? Still as crotchety as ever?”
With a laugh, Leski nearly choked on her food.
“Yes!” she said. “I swear. If she ever stops frowning, it means the world’s ended, and we’re all doomed.”
I chuckled, even as I remembered when a phenomenon like that had happened. When she’d first shown my class how to do a disarm, I’d purposefully botched my initial attempt, having spent the week prior to that already practicing the technique.
After that first ‘failure’, Karise wouldn’t let me sit back down. She’d made me try to disarm my opponent again and again until I’d gotten frustrated enough to drop my pretense. Once my opponent had been on the ground with her stolen rifle pressed to her head, Karise had laughed as if I’d put on the funniest of comedy routines.
Turning to Niklaus, I said, “But I’m sure all of the Houses, even Kirst, keep some of their knowledge from the unHoused, yes?”
“You’re not wrong. Kirst keeps many things to ourselves,” Niklaus said. “But from what you’ve said, I’d guess you agree with my daughter. If not to shield Leski, why would you keep the particulars of your role to yourself?”
Hell, he wouldn’t let this go, would he? Carefully, I rested my fork and knife on my plate before folding my hands above it, purposefully hiding half of my face.
“Frankly, sir, most people find my efforts to better Lutov… unpalatable,” I said. “I’d rather not ruin a lovely dinner by discussing them.”
“I see,” Niklaus shakily said.
Did he? Please say that it was so because I truly didn’t want to continue with this topic.
What had this peek into my life made Leski think of me? She was giving me a strange look, one I was having trouble with deciphering. Not knowing what she was thinking put an unpleasant bubble in my stomach, and my skin prickled when I shifted my eyes away from her.
But then, Niklaus rallied, launching into another subject, and I could relinquish my focus on his daughter. For the rest of dinner, I participated in the group’s small talk to a minimal degree, enough to seem engaged but nothing more.
Despite having locked Korix away, he kept popping into my thoughts. How long did he mean to make me wait here? I wanted to be with him, working toward answers, not sitting here, listening to Niklaus talk about… Ibis?
“-don’t see why the *bakava* rebel as often as they do,” he said. “We’ve brought them civilization and security. Why wouldn’t they want what we offer them?”
Idly chasing food remnants across my plate, I asked, “Have you ever visited Ibis?”
Frowning, Niklaus pulled back a fraction.
“I-” he said before shaking his head. “Once. A long time ago.”
“Then, of course you don’t understand,” I said.
Leski, having gotten as close to a slouch as current etiquette would allow, straightened while Niklaus raised an eyebrow.
“Are you one of the people who advocate for the *bakava’s* freedom, then?” he asked. “I must admit. I didn’t expect to find someone like that in House Kolb.”
Damn… that was a lot of scorn for a group of people that caused little to no problems in Lutov.
“I don’t participate in those social movements, no. Ibis doesn’t concern me, not when I have more than enough to handle with Lutov alone,” I said, “but I understand the children of Ibis’ frustration. Yes, they may get our version of ‘civilization’ from us, but how do we make them pay for it? By forcing them into deadly wars at the whims of our high Strata? By becoming House Zan’s unwilling test subjects? By enduring the hungry desires of our visitors to their shores? It’s no wonder they rebel, time and again, against us. Any human would.”
With a laugh in his voice, Niklaus said, “But they’re not human. Merely *bakava.”*
Why was I arguing about this with him? There was no point to it, not when he was so unlikely to change his position, and if I kept pushing, I might anger my host. So, I inclined my head to him.
“Perhaps.”
Niklaus seemed pleased by my partial concession, signaling for the drones to begin cleaning up, and while they did, Leski caught my eye. With an elbow resting on the table, she cupped her chin, continuing with the unabashed stare that she’d kept up throughout dinner.
I didn’t know what to make of her, but then, I didn’t yet have enough variables to complete my analysis. I *did* know that she intrigued me, but I wasn’t sure in what way. Was it merely curiosity about an interesting person, or was there something more?
With the table cleared, Niklaus rose from his chair with us joining him.
“Now that we’ve finished dinner, I was hoping that Garreth could join me in my study,” he said. “Leski dear, would you mind seeing the dog fed while we talk?”
“Not at all,” Leski said before turning to me. “Will that be ok?”
“It shouldn’t be a problem. Ace is very friendly,” I said. “If you could please come out where he can see you?”
While she rounded the table, I uncoiled Ace’s leash from where I’d stashed it, clipping it to his collar. When she reached us, I handed Leski the lead while he watched, and a tail wag answered the unspoken command that had changed who he should follow.
“Once he’s eaten, you can leave him in my assigned quarters,” I said. “For a short period, he should be fine alone.”
Delicately holding the leash, Leski glanced between me and Ace.
“How do I…?
“Just start walking,” I said. “He’ll follow.”
As if testing what I’d said, Leski took a single step toward the door, and Ace climbed as quickly to his feet as his old bones would let him. Soon enough, they were heading out of the dining room.
***[TTS Chapter Forty-Six](https://hischosenfuture.com/attachments/151)***
# Chapter 47: An Ornery Host
Niklaus led me away from the dining room. He took us on a convoluted route to his office, which made me wonder if he wanted to keep me from learning its precise location.
I reserved my curiosity about why he wanted to speak with me. What was the point in speculating on that when I’d learn the answer within the next five minutes?
We entered Niklaus’ office, which was everything that I’d expected from a high Stratus—wood everywhere, more bound books, and every other example of plenty that one could want—and behind us, the door’s lock thunked into place. Before he could address me, I was down on one knee with my head bowed.
“All honor and glory to one of the courageous few,” I said before lifting my eyes. “Please, forgive me for not greeting you properly before. I didn’t know you were a founder before our meal.”
Sighing through his nose, Niklaus waved at me.
“Get up,” he said. “If I wanted your deference, I’d have told you my status when you entered my home.”
I’d figured as much, but my show of respect might derail anything antagonistic that he might want to say to me. Now that I’d been fed, I’d like to catch a couple of hours sleep before doing a more thorough search of this house, and I’d prefer it if I didn’t have to deal with a cranky host before then.
As I stalked around the office, making a show of examining it, I thought my ploy might have worked, but alas, it wasn’t destined to be.
“Who are you, really?” Niklaus asked.
Glancing over my shoulder, I found him leaning on his desk—
“I told you. I’m Garreth.”
—before returning to my inspection.
“No. That’s not your name,” Niklaus said. “You said you’re Talira’s grandchild. She has three of those: Feena, Zaeden, and Pheniks.
“You can’t be Feena. She was seen at the Founder’s Day Ball, looking distinctly feminine in form, and transitioning the body to match a perceived gender takes more than two days, even with an accelerant to help.
“You can’t be Pheniks. I’ve met that boy. Not only is he House Zan instead of Kolb, but he comes nowhere near your social adeptness.
“And you most definitely can’t be Zaeden. No one’s seen him publicly for eleven years, and his official record proclaims him as missing. In House Kolb, that means dead, especially for someone so young.
“So, who are you? And don’t lie to me this time.”
Huh. I’d always wondered what Talira had transcribed into my public record after Korix had taken me out of my old life, although I’d never been curious enough to check it for myself. Still. Making people think I was dead without outright lying? That was good.
I was sure my status would change to deceased once I took over as the *Lokke Vitras,* but at that point, it would be true. Zaeden would be dead.
None of which solved the problem I was facing now.
“Niklaus, you owe *shukusen* Talira a favor, and she wants you to repay it by providing me with hospitality until I leave your lovely home,” I said. “Is that correct?”
“Well, yes, but-”
Rounding on him, I poked his chest.
“Are you showing me hospitality right now?”
Niklaus set his jaw.
“I deserve to know who’s sleeping in my home,” he said. “I deserve to know if my daughter or I am in danger by having you here.”
Leski. A woman with such promise. Was I threatening her with my presence?
No.
“You’ll find no danger in me,” I said, “and if I’ve brought it with me, I will protect your family from it.”
Snorting, Niklaus said, “Against *any* threat? Can you do that?”
I dropped my finger from where it had been resting with a smile tugging at my lips.
“I am capable,” I said.
With pretty much everything.
“My abilities, however, aren’t in question. Your repayment of a favor is,” I said. “Will you default on a debt, Niklaus?”
One of his eyes spasmed.
“I would never,” he said, “which means I’ll have to trust that someone as young as you knows what he’s talking about.”
I was getting… *extremely* sick of him implying that my physical age should have any effect on our situation. Given who I was, I had far more experience than him when it came to protecting people, and even if he was only aware of my association with House Kolb, Niklaus should know that. Why the hell should age count more than experience, especially when it came to this?
Still, as he groaned while passing a hand over his face, I contained my irritation, watching him wrestle with his dilemma without pity. There was a reason I’d never ask a favor of someone.
Finally, I gave Niklaus the last push he’d need to let me stay without protest.
“I can see how much this troubles you. I’m sorry to have caused it. It wasn’t my intention, believe me,” I said. “Let me collect my things, and I’ll leave you-”
“No! You’ll do no such thing,” Niklaus barked. “I was out of line, calling you into question like that. Please, stay for as long as you need.”
Retreating a step, I bowed.
“You are generous,” I said.
“Generous enough to realize that you’re probably exhausted, and I’ve kept you awake for far longer than necessary,” Niklaus said. “Go to bed, Garreth. We can speak further in the morning.”
“Thank you,” I said, “and a good evening to you.”
Niklaus said something to the same effect, but I relegated processing its specifics to my mind’s base operations, focusing on getting out of the main house as quickly as possible.
Ace was waiting for me in the guesthouse. His anxious panting had started up again, so sitting against a wall, I loved on him for a good five minutes. Once we were done, I had him jump on the bed in a fit of spite, wondering what Niklaus would think of having dog hair in his guest’s sheets, but I wasn’t letting Ace sleep on a hardwood floor.
With him squared away, I left him snoring on the bed to complete my typical nighttime routine: care for the body, set what traps I could, and resume the narration of my current book once I’d gotten settled in the pillows and sheets. After I’d turned the lights off, Ace shifted to lie against me, and with his body heat at my side and a soothing voice telling me a story, I could almost forget that two days had passed since our home’s glassing.
I also hadn’t heard from Korix, and he’d said he’d only be gone for two days. Why hadn’t he contacted me?
Almost, worry took me over, forcing me into an unwise course of action, but somehow—I really couldn’t explain how—I squashed it, shoving it back down to reasonable, oh-Mother-Time-he-was-dead levels of anxiety.
After I’d managed that, my personal lullaby was enough to overcome any leftover fearful thoughts, and I drifted into dreams, ready to wake up in two or three hours.
Raucous tapping on metal drew me to consciousness. Still half under, I patted at the bed, searching for a weapon, and got fur and a rough tongue instead.
“The… hell?” I mumbled.
“Oh, mysterious guest!” someone sang. “Are you awake?”
A relatively unknown voice calling in such close proximity to me cleared sleep’s last cobwebs out of my head, and I jerked off of the bed, nearly setting off one of my traps while scanning the room.
Sunlight was streaming through the windows.
I checked the time.
“What. the. fuck?”
I’d slept for *nine hours.* I hadn’t spent so much time in dreamland since my first year under Korix’s care.
Damn, what a waste of perfectly good dark hours, the most ideal time for sneaking through my unsuspecting host’s home. What on earth could have made my body jump off its habitual track? Could last night’s food have been drugged? I thought I’d have noticed if it had. Maybe…
My eyes landed on Ace, waiting for permission to jump down. When was the last time another living being had slept in the same bed as me? Korix never did, getting up before dreams could claim us. I could see why he left, if this was the consequence of sleeping beside a warm body.
Not that such sound slumber was an insurmountable challenge. If one simply set an alarm in one’s array and-
“I’m coming inside.”
Oh, hell. The reason I was awake.
“Please, don’t!” I shouted. “I’ll come to you. Just… give me a minute.”
I flew through my ritual of disarming traps, hiding evidence of them as I went along. Once the room was safe for the average citizen, I shoved my arms and legs through sleeves and pant legs, all while tripping toward the door. It opened to an earnest, freckled face, and once it had, Leski cocked her head at me.
“Are you ok?” she asked. “You seem flustered.”
“I was just…”
Jerking my thumb over my shoulder, I glanced behind me and rethought what I’d meant to say.
“Never mind. Can I help you with something?”
“I wanted to invite you to have breakfast with me,” Leski said.
She leaned to the side, revealing a drone with two trays hovering in front of it.
“But if you need more time, I can wait.”
“Why would you think I need more time?” I asked.
Pointing at me, Leski said, “Your shirt’s inside-out.”
I glanced down—
“Oh.”
—and pulled the offending garment over my head, turning it right-side-out to a choked noise. Looking toward its source, I found Leski covering her eyes with her face flushed.
Crap. I wasn’t at home, and from what I’d experienced so far, this household was steeped in traditions that most people in Lutov had long abandoned. Like modesty.
“Maybe… you should meet me in the garden in ten minutes,” Leski said. “Will that be enough time?”
“Plenty,” I said, shrugging into my shirt. “Listen. I’m sorr-”
“Bring Ace,” Leski interrupted.
She jabbed a finger into my room before racing toward the main house. Stuck in the doorway, I slowly shook my head before facing Ace.
“The hell is wrong with me today, buddy?”
Whatever it was, I did my best to shake it off while getting ready.
***[TTS Chapter Forty-Seven](https://hischosenfuture.com/attachments/152)***
# Chapter 48: Breakfast and Unwelcome News
As I got dressed, I reviewed my list of mysteries, the ones that had once more begun flocking to me.
A few days ago, someone from Cerullis had helped to destroy Korix’s estate for unknown reasons. Reasons that I suspected had something to do with the attempt to dissolve the Crescent five years ago. This most recent scheme had happened the morning after Cerullis’ *shukusen* had invited me to their headquarters, hoping that I could serve as a character witness for Jastin’s elevation.
Did Alezand’s request mean that he was once more in the dark about antagonistic forces in his own House? I couldn’t decide which would be worse: that he knew and an entire House was poised against Korix and me or that he was incompetent enough to be ignorant of it.
Fortunately, I had a way to determine where Alezand’s loyalties lay: requesting Jastin’s official record. If that man truly was ready for elevation, it wouldn’t eliminate the possibility that the *shukusen* had turned violent, but if the opposite was true, it meant that Alezand had lied, and that would tell me plenty.
Hell, it had taken me far too long to think of doing that.
Even with my *Lokke Vitras* privileges, though, receiving an answer to my request would take a few hours. Considering how highly we valued what little privacy we had, Lutovish records were the only digitized part of the homeland that humans still regulated. Because of this, requests like mine could get backlogged, and since I’d tagged mine with no priority changes, my *Lokke Vitras* privileges would only push it so far ahead in line.
I wanted that time, though, because the second set of mysteries that I’d stumbled into had offered a fresh, new avenue of investigation. A few hours delay on the information that I needed was unlikely to hurt anyone, and in the meantime, I could get to know Leski.
She was waiting on the garden’s fringes for me, perched on a stone bench framed by rose bushes. Trays rested beside her with breakfast food on them, and as I came closer, she tucked a strand of silver hair behind an ear, adjusting one tray’s angle.
“Are you ready to greet the day now?” she asked.
“Yes. Sorry about before,” I said, rubbing my neck. “I-”
“Sit down,” Leski said, pointing opposite herself.
She still hadn’t looked at me.
Once I’d done as she’d said, I freed Ace’s ball from a pocket, looking over the garden for a good place to throw it, but this space was rigidly organized with hedges all over, boxing us in. Poor Ace, gazing at the balls as if it were the center of his world, might have to go without the exercise that I’d had planned for him.
The ball was plucked out of my hand, and Leski *threw* it. It arched high overhead, hurtling deep into the garden, and Ace shot after it, crashing through every plant in his way.
I winced at the broken branches he’d left behind. This was why I’d meant to put the ball away. Who knew how Niklaus would respond to damage like that?
Leski, however, was bouncing on the bench, laughing as she pattered her hands together in front of her mouth, so maybe… maybe that man’s wrath would be worth it.
“I’m glad you like him,” I said. “He hasn’t met many people, just me and my… teacher.”
“Why’s that?” Leski asked.
“Oh, we don’t get out much,” I said, “and before losing our home, no one came to visit either.”
“That’s sad,” Leski sighed.
And she turned toward me. And my explanation that we liked our solitude flew out the window.
Ducking my head, I retrieved my plate, digging into a blueberry crepe, but when Leski made no move for her own meal, I slowed down my rate of consumption. Until Ace returned, she watched me. I could feel her eyes on my skull, even if I couldn’t see them.
Soon enough, Ace trotted through a hedge, coming to drop the ball at my feet, but I nudged it toward Leski. She’d seemed to like throwing it before. Why not offer her another opportunity?
After taking the ball, she made no comment on the slobber surely coating it, merely throwing it in another impressive arch. Damn, she had a good arm.
Wiping her hands on her shorts, she asked, “Who are you?”
My fork froze mid-air. It seemed my stay here would follow a theme, at least when it came to me.
“What I mean is, are you Garreth or Zaeden?” she said. “One of those is clearly a persona, either the man you’ve shown my father or the one you’ve shown me. I’d like to know which it is.”
I set my plate down, forcing myself to look at her.
“What makes you think I’ll tell you the truth?” I asked.
Leski didn’t move, but somehow, I got the feeling that she was looking down her nose at me.
“You won’t lie to me,” she said.
She wasn’t wrong, but she couldn’t know that yet. Why did she trust me now?
“My name is Zaeden,” I said. “I don’t want your father to know who I am, so with him, I’m playing the part of Garreth. Will you tell him?”
“If I did, what would you do?” Leski asked.
Shrugging, I said, “Discredit you as much as possible. Play it by ear if that didn’t work. If absolutely necessary, I’d leave this place after erasing every trace of my presence.”
Cocking her head, Leski stared off into the distance, sucking her lip, before nodding once.
“A good answer. An *honest* one,” she said. “You pass.”
Lifting her plate, she started in on her breakfast, reversing our positions.
“The last question was to see if I’d lie,” I said in monotone.
Scuffing her foot through the grass, Leski nodded.
“That’s…”
Mother Time, what was the best way to put this?
“Terrible? Manipulative? Cruel?” Leski said before softly laughing. “I know. I’ve been told as much often enough.”
And she made no apology for what she’d done, something that she saw as deplorable behavior. Why did that make me smile?
“It was wise,” I said. “Don’t let anyone put you down for doing what you must to keep yourself and your loved ones safe-”
Ace burst into view, cutting me off, and thankful that he’d stopped me before I’d tumbled into a lecture, I took a turn with the ball, letting Leski eat.
Once I was done with my throw, I joined her, and within a minute, both of us had finished our food, although I continually scanned the garden for Niklaus while we did. He was sure to come looking for us soon.
Returning her plate to the bench, Leski tapped her fork on it while leaning toward me.
“You intrigue me, Zaeden,” she said.
“Thank y-?”
A returned request shut me up. Tagged with the highest priority, it was the official record for Jastin, and its arrival had come much earlier than anticipated, which started a slow creep of ice crystals along my gut.
Standing, I mumbled an excuse to Leski, calling for Ace while I created space between me and her. Only then did I open the report.
*Birth name: Jastin,* it read. *Current name: Jayla. House: Cerullis. Stratus: First.*
It continued, detailing how Jayla had obtained her newly acquired position, but I barely absorbed what I’d read, already having the information that I needed.
Alezand had lied.
A First Stratus, which Jayla was, didn’t get elevated. When their *shukusen* was ready to retire or move on to the Collective, they became the head of their House, but that wasn’t considered an elevation.
Which meant *Alezand had lied.* Which meant he’d probably directed his entire House to the purpose of killing Korix and me so that he could proceed with his plans unimpeded.
Korix had taken off to infiltrate Cerullis three days ago, and not only did he not know what I’d learned but he hadn’t contacted me either.
I’d been *fucking right* to be worried. SHIT.
Panic’s flames threatened to consume me, but the gust of a deep breath turned them to embers, present but not hot enough to make me reckless. Absently, I rubbed Ace’s head.
“We’ll find him, and once we’re together, we’ll work through this, like we always do,” I said. “Everything will be fine.”
He nuzzled me, and spinning, I strode to Leski.
“Does your family keep a skycruiser on the estate’s grounds?” I asked.
“Yes,” Leski said. “Why-?”
“I need you to take me to it after I’ve collected my things,” I said.
Once I was in the air, I’d contact Talira, updating her on what I’d learned. Hopefully, she’d know which House Cerullis facility Korix’s persona had been assigned to.
In my wake, Leski struggled to keep up.
“Wait!” she called. “You can borrow a skycruiser if you need it, but my father will be furious if you leave without saying goodbye. He should be greeting our newest arrival right now, but if you delay your departure-”
“Newest arrival?” I asked. “As in another guest?”
Hmm. Why hadn’t Niklaus told me about this? Had he just forgotten or-?
The question vanished from my head as I rounded a corner and the front of the main house came into view. By its door, Niklaus was chatting with *shukusen* Alezand of House Cerullis, my newest enemy.
***[TTS Chapter Forty-Eight](https://hischosenfuture.com/attachments/153)***
# Chapter 49: He's a Surprise
Darting back around the corner, I shot out an arm, driving Leski into the wall beside me.
What was *he* doing here? Come on! What were the chances that Alezand would show up not five minutes after I’d received confirmation that he’d had a hand in my home’s glassing?
“Zae-” Leski started.
Rolling to push her into the brick, I pressed a hand over her mouth.
“Don’t say that name,” I whispered.
Damn, those brown eyes had gone wide. With a wince, I pulled my hand away.
“Can you read sub-vocals?” I said.
When she nodded, I thanked my luck. Not many people outside of House Kolb opted to have that functionality added to their arrays, and holding this conversation via messages would have taken forever.
“I have reason to believe that your father’s newest guest wants me dead,” I said. “He’s unlikely to be a danger to you or your family, but I don’t know what will happen if he learns that I’m here. So, I need you to join your father and act like nothing’s wrong. If your second guest asks about me, you must only refer to me as Garreth. Tell him I’ve gone walking the moors. He should believe that. Can you do as I’ve asked?”
I expected a swarm of questions or hysteria from her. Instead, I got concern tinged with fear.
“He really wants to… kill you?” Leski asked in sub-vocals.
Oh, how I missed the reverence that the average citizen paid to life.
“Me and someone I hold most dear,” I said.
Her face hardened into sharp lines, even if worry also danced in her eyes.
“Then, I’ll do everything I can to help,” she said.
“Thank you.”
I slowly freed her, watching for signs that she’d only been telling me what I’d wanted to hear, but shaking herself, Leski calmly walked around the corner.
Now, what should I do? Should I continue with my plan, or should I take this presented opportunity to spy on Alezand?
He had to have come here, so soon after attacking Korix and me, for a reason. The question was why.
In the end, I had Ace stay where he was before finding the closest entrance to the main house. While sneaking through the place, I tapped into the feeds of every recorder here, but when Niklaus and Alezand came inside, I cursed under my breath.
They were gesturing as if they were having a conversation, but the recorders weren’t catching sound from them. Sub-vocals like what I’d used with Leski, it had to be, and these recorders didn’t pick up on the subtleties needed to read them. I’d have to guess where those two were headed and hope they’d return to speaking aloud once they felt safe.
While most of my attention went to tracking them, I also kept an eye on Leski. Once Alezand and Niklaus had left her in the house’s foyer, she paced there for a while with one hand to her forehead before throwing them both overhead and stalking off.
Meanwhile, I was fairly certain of where the other two were headed, so I sped ahead of them to get into position. The small sitting room, overlooking the garden, was well-lit and empty, save for a few chairs and most importantly, a line of built-in showcases along one wall.
With a running leap, I vaulted atop these, spreading myself flat. When entering a room, most people didn’t look above eye level unless they were expecting an intruder, and if either of these men happened to look up when they came inside, an ornately decorative crenelation rose several centimeters above the top of the showcases. It didn’t hide me completely, but with the shadows it created, the average eye would skip over the lump that was me.
Mother Time, what I wouldn’t give for the camouflage technique that Korix had used at the ball, although I was grateful that he’d taught me how to blend in without it right now.
I went motionless in the split second before Niklaus and Alezand glided into the room, heading for a pair of chairs.
*“Avan,* I hate sub-vocals,” Niklaus said.
“Careful. You’re letting your age show,” Alezand replied with a chuckle. *“Avan?”*
“You know, it wasn’t that long ago that people on both sides of the water used the old word for life-”
“I’m aware,” Alezand interrupted. “Can we please get started? I’m expected elsewhere soon.”
Making a face, Niklaus poured drinks from the decanter on the table between them, offering one to Alezand.
“So, what’s next?” he asked.
Swirling the liquid in his tumbler, Alezand stared at his drink before downing half of it in one gulp.
“We need more weapons,” he said over his tumbler’s rim.
Weapons? He’d come here to ask for weapons? Why would Alezand think a House Kirst member could get him anything like that?
“More?” Niklaus spluttered. “What I’ve already given you could level Xygek! Years ago, I gave you a damn Dissolver, for Mother Time’s sake!”
Wait, *what?* That was…
Not much more unbelievable than finding Ibisian sympathizers in House Vaessa. Mother Time, I should remember to keep my mind open.
But with this in mind, it meant that Fyester, Tatum, and their compatriots hadn't been working alone so long ago. Having proof that someone else had had a hand in their crimes should bring me peace, but instead, I was set awhirl.
How had Korix missed this? Had he fallen so deeply into what was eating at his mind that he’d missed evidence of it? If so, why hadn’t he told me about his deterioration?
“You did as you were told because you must, just like me and my House,” Alezand snapped. “Ages ago, you and the others made a pact with something you didn’t understand. *They* would help you drive those from beyond the stars back to their home, and in return, you would one day give *them* what *they* most desire. Unfortunately for us both, the time has come to pay that price.”
“Rowan and the rest should never have gone to *them.* It may have taken longer and cost more lives, but we could have defeated our enemy on our own,” Niklaus said. “Hell, your predecessor, Lord Asher, started looking into *them,* hoping to find an advantage that we could use in case *they* betrayed us-”
“I don’t care to hear a history lesson right now,” Alezand said. “Like most of Lutov, I’d rather let your generation fade into nothing, content with our dramatization of it.”
“Even if it’s insultingly inaccurate?” Niklaus hissed.
Alezand chopped a hand through the air.
“All that matters is that the Founders did what they had to, and now, so will you,” he said. “Use your status as a founder, contact the friends you have in Kolb and Zan, and get my House more weapons. Otherwise, *they* may come to make *their* greetings in person.”
“There’s no need for threats, young one,” Niklaus said. “I know how *they* work, remember?”
The two of them fell silent, each lost in his own thoughts while I tried to wrap my head around what they’d said. Apparently, a member of Kirst, the House in charge of *education*—of all things—could get his hands on weapons. That fun discovery was easier to comprehend than the fact that this plot had something to do with Lutov’s ancient history, with those from beyond the stars.
And what these two were suggesting contradicted everything that House Kirst taught about our war with those alien beings. If true, could it mean that the origins of the *Lokke Vitras,* mostly centered around that time, were just as false?
“What will you do with them?” Niklaus asked.
“The weapons?” Alezand said. “I don’t know. *They* don’t tell me anything. I just follow their orders, trying to avoid a visit from- from *their* Favored.”
Both men shuddered, and Niklaus set his tumbler on the table.
“Is there anything else?” he asked.
“You know there is,” Alezand said.
Slumping, Niklaus nodded.
“Leski. You want to check on her,” he said. “Mother Time, I regret submitting an application for that girl more often than not. She’s so rebellious and behaves not at all as a good daughter should, but Laryse wanted a child, and I loved that woman…”
Falling silent, he visibly swallowed before shaking himself.
“All right. You can join us for lunch, although it won’t be for a few hours yet. Hopefully, that will work with your schedule. If so, you can enjoy my home’s hospitality until then,” he said. “I should warn you, though. I have another guest staying with me right now, here as repayment for a favor. He’s House Kolb and high Stratus from what I can tell. If you’d like, I can refrain from inviting him to our meal.”
I stopped breathing, certain that one of them would search the room after the reminder of a possible operative in their midst.
“A high Stratus Kolb member, you say?” Alezand said, tapping his lips before smiling. “You should have him come. I’m curious now.”
Niklaus shrugged.
“If that’s what you want,” he said. “Now, may I return to my business, or did you have other inconveniences to bother me with?”
Rising to his feet, Alezand said, “Not at all, although I’d appreciate it if you stopped treating me with such hostility. I don’t like our situation any more than you do.”
“That doesn’t change the fact that I don’t like *you,* something I’m sure you can just as easily say about me, but I take your point,” Niklaus said. “Make yourself at home, *shukusen.* A drone will fetch you when lunch is ready.”
“Much appreciated,” Alezand said.
He left, and for nearly a minute, Niklaus sat motionless. Then, he hunched forward, clapping his hands over his mouth.
“FUUUUUCK!” he shouted into them.
Vigorously rubbing his face, he got to his feet and shook out his arms. Putting his appearance in order, he strode out of the room, and through the house’s recorders, I watched him travel to his office while Alezand got settled in the library. Then, I rolled to the floor.
“This is bad,” I said.
Should I extract now? I had enough of a case for Talira to order an assault on House Cerullis.
Damn. One House fighting another, probably out in the open too. I hadn’t thought it could happen, but maybe if I was lucky, it wouldn’t.
But seriously. What was I thinking? Somehow, I’d stumbled onto a greater threat to Lutov than anything Korix had faced, and I wasn’t him. I wasn’t the *Lokke Vitras.* How was I supposed to neutralize such great danger? *How did I save us?*
“By taking it one step at a time,” I hissed at myself.
So, first. Did I leave with what I’d learned or stay, hoping for more details?
I wished I could just send a message to Talira from here, but if I did, one of my targets might note or intercept it. Without *Lokke Vitras* privileges, neither of them could break the security processes on my communications, not in a timely manner at least, but even knowing that a message had been sent from here to Xygek would put them on alert far sooner than I’d like.
And much as I might want to leave, in part so I could go find Korix *right fucking now,* I didn’t have enough information to do that yet. What I’d learned would probably rip the obvious enemy out of Cerullis’ heart, but nothing would be done about the mysterious *them,* the ones I had yet to identify. A group that had obviously been manipulating at least one Lutovish House for years.
I wouldn’t let *them* get away this time. No one else would die because *they* had *their* fingers stuck in someone’s brain. I’d find the culprit that was hiding behind Cerullis’ actions, and I would crush them.
Which meant I was staying for lunch. Which meant I needed to prepare.
# Chapter 50: A Meal with the Enemy
First, I secured Ace in the guesthouse, leaving him with an elaborate, treat-filled puzzle to solve. While there, I got myself properly attired for a meal with the enemy before leaving to find Leski.
After slipping into the room she was in, I soundlessly closed the door behind me. With hardwood floors, a high ceiling, and mirrored walls, this space felt enormous, which the piano music echoing in it only highlighted.
A rounded, wooden bar had been bolted to the mirrors, but Leski wasn’t using it at the moment. In a black leotard and strange, ribboned shoes, she leapt and spun around the room, making something that must have taken ages to master look like child’s play.
Ballet. That explained why she’d been so skilled when we’d danced at the ball. If she’d learned this obscure dance form, she must have run out of modern ones to study.
Leaning on the door frame, I crossed my arms and watched. Not only did I have the time to indulge in the observation of such rare art, but ingratiating Leski to me would probably make my efforts over the next fifteen minutes go easier.
I knew she’d seen me since I’d entered. Considering she hadn’t stopped dancing, I had to assume that she liked an audience or that she at least didn’t mind having one, and well did I know the dangers of interrupting an artist of any kind while they were working.
Eventually, she brought her feet together, lowering her arms, but despite the dance’s conclusion, I didn’t clap. I’d seen her grimace when applause had surrounded us at the Founder’s Day Ball.
“I assume that’s your work as well,” I said, jerking my head toward where piano music was emerging into the room.
With a half-smile, Leski met my eyes in the mirror.
“How did you know?” she asked.
“I’ve heard you play before,” I said. “You tend to linger on high notes, letting them ring, before continuing forward with greater force. If you haven’t already, you should try a Maliva piece. It would suit your style.”
Slowly, Leski turned toward me with her face unreadable.
“Do you play?” she asked.
Shrugging, I said, “I can if required, but I’ve never coaxed the music from the music, if you know what I mean. I’m better at playing technically or analyzing other pianists’ work.”
“And you can dance, *and* your high Stratus House Kolb. I think,” Leski said, frowning at that last part. “If you don’t mind me asking, how old are you? I’d like to know how long it will take me to master so many skills.”
“Um…”
Shifting in place, I licked my lips. What an awkward question. When it came to this subject, she’d provided the only sensible reason I could think of to ask about my age, but that made it no less uncomfortable for me. Even with that, though, I gave her the truth.
“I turned thirty-seven a few days ago. But you’ve already mastered many of your own skills, and you’re what? Twenty-five? You said your House naming is this year.”
Divert attention back to her as quickly as possible. It was better if she didn’t learn about my other proficiencies, whether those like dancing or the ones that were more useful to my trade.
“I’d hardly call myself a master of them but…”
Leski gave me a speculative look.
“You’re not here to compliment me, not when you’re dressed like that. After what you said earlier, I thought you’d be long gone by now. What happened?”
“I decided Alezand’s arrival was more fortuitous than a disaster,” I said. “Learning what he’s up to will be much easier here than in Xygek.”
“Yes…” Leski drawled. “Why does House Cerullis’ *shukusen* want you, a relative unknown, dead, by the way?”
The piano piece ended with its music fading into silence.
I had my theories about Alezand’s motivations, namely that he wanted the chief threats to his plan removed from the board, but I couldn’t tell Leski that. She’d want to know how I was a threat to a *shukusen,* and that, I couldn’t answer. Best to cut this line of questioning off here.
“I can’t tell you,” I said.
Leski snapped her eyes to slits.
“Because it’s House business or because you don’t want to?” she asked.
With a grin, I said, “A little of both.”
Barking a laugh, Leski rested a hand on her hip.
“I did strongly suggest that you tell me the truth earlier, so I guess I deserved that,” she said. “Fine. I won’t pry. Why did you come to me before investigating Alezand, then?”
“I wanted to make sure we’re on the same page,” I said.
“Yes, yes. I know you don’t want me exposing you,” Leski said, dismissively flicking her fingers toward me. “What else?”
This next part would be uncomfortable. It was something I’d do with Korix, but he wasn’t here, and I needed the reassurance, considering what was on the line this time. I’d work with who I had.
“You seem to be good at reading people,” I said. “Tell me. What do you see?”
Pushing off the wall, I gestured at my body, waiting for Leski to examine me. With a cocked head and pursed lips, she ran her eyes over my modified outfit.
I’d taken the sleeves off of the jacket—an alteration that by itself might kill Niklaus—before using them to create a crude, cowl-like hood, wrapped around my neck. With the few leftover strips of cloth, I’d created a flimsy holster at the small of my back. Its fragile state didn’t concern me too much, though, as the pistol it was holding required a thumbprint to fire, the only type of weapons I’d let hang from me in such an easily accessible place. Thank Mother Time I’d been wearing my usual assortment of weapons before the estate had been glassed.
I’d strapped knives down my arms, making my shirt’s sleeves bunch between them. The only other change I’d made to that piece of clothing was to mute its brilliant green color with a bit of charcoal.
I hadn’t touched one leg of my slacks, letting it fall to the ankle, but I’d removed the lower half of the second in a jagged line at the knee, exposing my combat boot and the second pistol that I’d shoved into it.
Finished with her assessment, Leski said, “I see the quintessential House Kolb member: loud and overly reliant on brute force.”
I flashed a smile at her.
“Obviously, you’ve never heard of operatives before.”
When Leski’s expression turned indignant, I raised a hand before she could retort.
“I’m sorry. That was uncalled for,” I said, “especially after you confirmed the image I’m trying to present.
“You want to look like a dumb ape?” Leski hissed.
Internally, I winced. I hadn’t meant to piss her off.
“Yes. After what happened, I want Alezand to think that I’ve returned to basic House Kolb training, despite what he knows about me,” I said. “If he does, he’s unlikely to see me coming from another angle later.”
“Oh,” Leski said. “That’s smart.”
Shaking my head, I said, “It’s simple tactics, nothing more. Now, as for the last thing I wanted to discuss…”
I didn’t know how I should put this or how much I should share. This part was the least crucial of the concerns I’d had about Leski, and yet, I most wanted it to go my way.
“What is it?” she asked.
I’d just have to follow my long-trained instincts in this.
“What I’m about to request is strictly voluntary,” I said. “I need you to understand that.”
“Ok…” Leski drawled.
Gritting my teeth, I carefully said, “It would be beneficial to all parties involved if you came to lunch at my side.”
If she did, my implied protection might be enough to keep her safe from Alezand and his House, which I’d promised Niklaus I’d do. As for maintaining his safety, it was pretty clear where he’d made his bed.
Leski blinked at me, and I prepared to work around her refusal.
“Zaeden, are you asking me to this lunch as a date?” she asked.
...What?
*“Hell,* no,” I yelped. “If I were taking you on a date, we’d be doing something much nicer than attending a family-”
Sucking in a breath, I shut up.
What had that been? The *fuck* had that been? No one had made me lose control like that except for Korix… and perhaps a few of my partners in the past. Was I… *attracted* to Leski? Hell, that would be inconvenient.
I had been out of the game for a while, though. Maybe I’d missed the signs of attraction, even the ones coming from me.
But no… that couldn’t be it. She simply intrigued me. It had to be that, and because I found her interesting, I’d want her to have a nice time on a potential date. Which we weren’t doing.
So, why did she look so wickedly triumphant?
“Ok, sure,” she said.
It was my turn to blankly blink.
“You don’t want to know why I’m asking you to do this?” I said.
“Why would I need to know *your* reasons?” Leski asked. “Entering the dining room with you should be fun, if only to see the infuriated look on my father’s face. I so love seeing it.”
And why was that? Did she dislike her father that much?
Even still, thank Mother Time. I hadn’t been looking forward to sharing my theories about why Alezand was staying for lunch with her.
“In that case, you have about five minutes to get ready,” I said. “I received your father’s summons for us a while ago.”
“What?” Leski shouted.
She rushed for the door, pausing before going through it.
“How did you keep his message from reaching me?” she asked.
“Do you want an answer to that, or do you want to change?” I shot back.
Growling, Leski tore through the door with me on her heels, although I didn’t join her in her barrel down the hall.
“I’ll meet you outside the dining room,” I called after her.
That had gone better than I’d expected, although I wasn’t sure why I’d thought it might go poorly. Leski had been nothing but cooperative with me throughout today’s strange events. Why should now be any different?
I needed to stop focusing on her, though. Get my head in the next part of this game. It would be much more difficult than everything else.
When Leski and I entered the dining room, both Alezand and Niklaus broke away from what had seemed like a pleasant conversation with very different looks on their faces. Niklaus looked like his daughter had predicted, furious, while Alezand seemed… speculative.
Both men were already standing behind their chosen positions at the table, so Leski and I arranged ourselves behind the remaining chairs, but once we were in place, lunch followed the formula from last night’s dinner to a T. After introductions had been made, Niklaus and Alezand ignored me for the most part, talking solely with each other. My plans for this meal didn’t involve me speaking, though. It was enough that I was here, displaying no fear, and besides, if I wasn’t required to speak, I could more closely watch the proceedings.
I didn’t see much. Everyone was hiding behind enforced manners with no one willing to rock the boat. Not until the end.
“If you don’t mind, Niklaus, I’d like a moment alone with Garreth before taking my leave,” Alezand said. “I’ll come to say my farewells soon.”
“Of course, *shukusen,”* Niklaus said. “I’ll wait for you outside.”
As her father passed behind her, Leski raised an eyebrow at me, but I didn’t respond to it. I’d already made my point when it came to her. Any further interaction might come off as affection, a potential weakness, so I was grateful when Niklaus took his daughter’s elbow—that had seemed a little… rough—and dragged her out of the room.
Which left Alezand and me sitting across the table from one another. Neither of us spoke while drones cleared the table. I didn’t because I had no need to, and he didn’t because, well…
Once the last drone had left the room, Alezand said, “I assume you’ve isolated this room from recorders.”
Yeah, that was what I’d thought. He wanted complete privacy. Also, what was it with people expecting me to be truthful today?
“I thought you’d want it that way,” I said.
“I do,” Alezand said.
When I gave him nothing in return, he squirmed a bit before continuing.
“Do you have something you want to say to me?”
Oh, so many things.
“The glassing of my *evushk’s* estate,” I said in monotone. “A House Cerullis member caused it. I watched her place the control for the satellite. Do you know how many people would have died if I hadn’t been awake, *shukusen?”*
Wincing, Alezand said, “I didn’t know. Maybe that makes me a bad head of House, but I had no idea what that Cerullis member meant to do. I only learned about it when she came to me yesterday, wracked with guilt. She’s in custody, by the way, waiting for you to interrogate her.”
If he was playing the ignorance card, he probably didn’t know that I’d overheard his conversation with Niklaus or that I’d requested Jastin-become-Jayla’s official record.
Good. I could push further, then.
“If I didn’t believe you,” I said, “if I invoked my right to take you as my prisoner and bring you to the capital, what would you do?”
“Come willingly, of course. I have nothing to hide. I’d even step down as *shukusen* if required. My First Stratus is ready to fill my shoes, but this is why I invited you to my headquarters at the ball,” Alezand said. “Several people in my House have splintered away from the majority with Jastin serving as their leader. Considering your personal connection to the man, I thought you might be able to solve the problem without involving your *evushk.”*
Oh, I’d be sick. So many things in his little speech repelled me. The obvious lies. The attempt at manipulating me. The reference to Jayla as a man. *Using* her as a lure to his headquarters. It took more effort than normal to interlace my fingers on the table and project nonchalance.
“Ok. Say I believe you,” I said. “Let’s say you’ve lost control of a part of your House. How long before Cerullis is lost to this violent minority?”
“Maybe… two or three weeks?” Alezand said. “I can’t say for sure. It’s not my area of expertise.”
I nodded in understanding, if perhaps not the type that he might think. It was likely that he’d unconsciously associated his supposed coup with his very real conspiracy, and if he had, he might have also given me a rough timeline for when he’d make his next move.
Maybe.
“This is a serious problem,” I said. “Before I can leave here, I have things to handle regarding the glassing, but visiting House Cerullis’ headquarters will be the first thing I do after returning to Xygek. Let’s set a tentative appointment for say… two days from now?”
Alezand slumped in his chair.
“Oh, thank Mother Time,” he said. “Perhaps now, I can fix this.”
“You’ll owe me,” I said. “If you don’t want me involving my *evushk,* that is.”
Slowly nodding, Alezand said, “Yes. I will.”
Slapping his hands to the table, he pushed away from it.
“I’m glad to have run into you here… Garreth,” he said. “If you’ll excuse me, I need to get home to ensure that everything's prepared for your arrival.”
Flicking my fingers in dismissal, I watched the *shukusen* leave. He’d return to his people, believing me primed for the trap they had planned.
I wished I could have learned more from Alezand, prying his secrets out of him in whatever way I must, but it was better if he and those controlling him believed me ignorant of their machinations for now. He could leave this place unharmed.
After all, I had one more avenue of investigation left to explore here.
***[TTS Chapter Fifty](https://hischosenfuture.com/attachments/155)***
# Chapter 51: The Enemy in Your House
Avoiding Leski for the rest of the day became the most annoying trial I’d endured in years. Having her constantly chasing me around the estate was bad enough, but when that effort failed, she plopped in front of the guesthouse’s door and refused to move. I had to bypass my own security, set earlier this morning, to get inside so I could let Ace out.
All of which was… *irritating.*
I knew why she was looking for me. In her place, I’d want answers too, but now that she likely no longer needed my protection, I should fade out of her life, and it would be better if that process started today, even if it complicated my afternoon. It would hurt her less.
When night rolled around, however, Leski gave up, heading for bed, and once she was in her room, I stopped monitoring her. The recorder outside of her door would alert me if she left her room, but I wouldn’t actively watch her anymore. I had more important things to do.
There were probably…
No. There were *definitely* easier ways to get into Niklaus’ bedroom than the route I’d chosen, but in recent months, I’d gotten out of practice with my acrobatics, which the route I’d chosen would require. Plus, I deserved to do something fun after this evening.
The estate’s main building was relatively plain on the outside: sheer walls with windows and little else to decorate them, which meant practically no handholds. What might normally be a problem, however, became less of one due to the many towering trees that Niklaus had planted near the house.
Jumping through the branches of one to reach the height I’d need took me maybe two minutes, and then came the leap for the roof. I nearly missed, and while I hauled myself over the roof’s eave, my fingertips screamed about their newly torn state.
It was a rather embarrassing performance, all told. If he’d been here, Korix would have made me climb to the ground and start all over again. Fortunately, he was nowhere nearby.
Mother Time, I hoped he was ok.
Racing across shingles, I sucked on my fingers, minimizing any biological traces I might leave behind, while my body worked to heal the abrasions on them. By the time I was standing over Niklaus’ bedroom window, I was out of breath and sorely missing my mag hook. It would have made this process much easier but no… I’d had to have a challenge.
I hated it when poor decisions came back to bite me, especially when that happened so quickly.
Also, the piece of tech that I wanted had been vaporized in the glassing, like the rest of Korix’s estate, and I hadn’t had an opportunity to replace it. So, I supposed I couldn’t have used a mag hook anyway, but who was paying attention to details like that?
After dropping to hang from the window’s sill, I winced at my once more scraped to hell fingers, and wrenching the glass panes open, I flowed into the darkness beyond. Niklaus was peacefully sleeping in his bed, and seeing this unguarded image, I almost regretted what was coming.
Almost.
Once I was arranged, I sent a request for the room’s lights to turn on, and with brightness splashing over him, Niklaus slowly came to awareness. When this was finished, he started thrashing, but he had a hard time of it with me sitting on his hips.
I’d often listened to stories where the hero waited in a darkened corner for their enemy to wake up so they could get answers, and I could see how that might be perceived as a threat. In my experience, though, nothing induced more terror in a target than having them wake up to a stranger pinning them to their bed with a gun’s muzzle in their face.
The trick to this method was keeping the target subdued until they realized that they were helpless. Reaching that state took Niklaus quite a while, but when he did, he switched to indignation.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” he snapped. “I’ll report this to Talira if you don’t leave right now! You’ll be reduced in Stratus…”
I ignored him as he continued with his rant. This was a somewhat atypical reaction for someone in his situation but not unexpected.
“Last night, you wanted to know who I am,” I said, interrupting his tirade. “Are you still curious about that?”
Niklaus screwed his face up while its hue reddened.
“So, you’re not Garreth, as I thought,” he spat.
I took a moment to wipe away the saliva that his enthusiasm had launched into my face, inspecting that hand for a heartbeat.
Distastefully flicking my fingers, I said, “No. My name is Zaeden.”
I’d always found watching the process of realization in someone else an interesting experience. It did different things to everyone. For Niklaus, it made him go limp until he was like a corpse beneath me.
“But… Zaeden is dead,” he said.
Clicking my tongue, I tapped my rifle on his skull.
“You’re not wrong. I am, in essence, not one of the living,” I said, “and you know what that means, don’t you, Niklaus?”
His jaw worked, but he said nothing, and after I’d given him a moment, I sighed.
“I’m the *Lokke Vitras* to come, which should scare even a founder like you,” I said, “because it means that I’m well within my rights to be here. If I decided to squeeze this trigger and end your life, I’d also be within my rights because you, good sir, have threatened Lutov.”
Niklaus had turned nearly as white as his sheets, convulsively swallowing until he opened his mouth. Probably to plead for his life.
“Fortunately for you, I need something you possess,” I said before he could get started. “So, I’m going to get off of you. I’m going to dissipate my rifle, and the two of us are going to have a civil chat. *You* will not call for help. You will not send any messages while we’re speaking, and you will not run away from me. I’m more than capable of countering these and any other cries for help that you may want to make, but I prefer to limit the amount of work that I must do. So, please. Answer my questions, and I’ll leave you be. Do we understand one another?”
Niklaus cautiously nodded, bouncing the metal circle of a gun’s muzzle on his head, and I hopped to the floor with my rifle gone before my feet had hit it.
“Excellent!”
When I smiled at him, Niklaus shivered, shuffling backward until his back had hit his bed’s headboard.
Clearing his throat, he asked, “What do you want?”
“You had a conversation with *shukusen* Alezand today,” I said. “I want to know more about what you discussed.”
“You’ll have to be more specific,” Niklaus said. “He and I spoke often this morning.”
Tutting, I said, “You know exactly what I mean, but since you insist…”
I assumed a replica of Niklaus’ bearing before gruffly speaking.
“So, what’s next?”
Shifting to something that more resembled Alezand, I continued in a simpering tone.
“We need more weapons.”
After one more change, Niklaus waved for me to stop.
“Ok, ok. Clearly you overheard us,” he said. “In a way, I’m glad of it. If *they* learn that this information was forced from me, then maybe *they* won’t hurt Leski.”
There was that vague ‘they’ again…
Wait.
“What do you mean ‘hurt Leski’?” I asked.
I’d thought the only threat to her was coming from House Cerullis. How else was she in danger?
“If you heard that conversation, then you know about the Ancients Pact, the deal that the Founders made to defeat those from beyond the stars, and how it’s come time to pay our end of it,” Niklaus said. “Well, even though I wasn’t a Founder, just a vassal to one, *they* expect me to fulfill the bargain, and *they’re* using Leski as leverage to keep me in line. For as much trouble as she brings me, I love my daughter, young warrior. I don’t want her to become a burnt-out husk.”
My mouth went dry.
“Burnt-out husk?” I asked, already knowing what my request for clarification would gain me.
“Yes. *They* can get into people’s heads before destroying everything that makes someone who they are,” Niklaus said. “You may have seen an example of this. A few years ago, several people tried to dissolve the Crescent during a House naming ceremony at *their* behest. The group was headed by… oh, what was his name? He had the strangest, purple eyes.”
He’d *led* those people.
“Fyester,” I said, “although the people who loved him called him Fy.”
Raising an eyebrow, Niklaus said, “Must have been someone special if you remember him.”
“I know the names of everyone I’ve killed,” I absently said. “A list of them steadily grows in my array.”
Leski couldn’t die like Fyester had. If she did, she would haunt me for the rest of my life, just as surely as he already did. So, how did I stop the threat to Lutov while also keeping her safe?
“How do *they* get in someone’s head?” I asked.
“I’m not sure,” Niklaus said with a grimace. “Back in the day, Lord Asher Cerullis put far too much time and effort into a failed attempt at figuring that out before moving on to other experiments. I lost touch with him shortly before they became his focus, so when it comes to that side of things, I don’t know much.”
Maybe Talira would let me rope Pheniks into this crisis. I was sure *shukusen* Arion wouldn’t mind sparing my brother for a problem this significant, and if anyone could best a Founder in the sciences, it’d be him.
Getting his help was an idea for the long term, though. How did I delay this mysterious group for long enough that we could learn how to prevent *their* invasion of our heads? Or of more relevance…
“Who are *they?”*
Niklaus became prey before a predator. Rapid gasps were the only thing to flutter his still frame.
“I can’t,” he whined. “I’m sorry, but I can’t. I’ve given you all the hints I can. Until Leski’s safe, you’ll have to figure out the rest on your own.”
Interesting. A group that scared him more than I did.
It made sense. If *they’d* had the power to force Lutov’s ancient enemy off of our planet, I was terrified of *them* too. This didn’t help me, though.
“Niklaus, I’d like to help your daughter. Safeguarding Lutov and her citizens is my job, and that includes Leski,” I said, “but from what I overheard, it sounds like *they* and the people *they* control mean to commence *their* plan soon. I need you to give me something that I can use to delay both parties. If I can gain us time, we can work to negate *their* hold on us. Fight *them* off.”
A hysterical cackle was flung into the air before Niklaus could clap his hands over his mouth.
With wide eyes, he said, “You want to fight *them?* Even the Founders gave up on that. Or the sane ones did, at least.”
“Do you have a better idea?” I asked.
Niklaus stared at me for so long that the passing seconds became insects, crawling over my skin, and sighing, I requested my rifle.
“Talk, or I’ll make you.”
He lifted his hands.
“If you hamper House Cerullis’ progress, you’ll slow *them* down,” he said. “I don’t know much about… any of this, really. *They’ve* only used my influence to get *them* weapons, but what I’ve procured for Alezand has gone to Cerullis’ facility on the southeastern border of the Southern Fells.”
“Ok. Good. I can work with that,” I said. “Anything else I should know?”
“Only that *shukusen* Alezand and… their Favored—”
Niklaus hiccupped on a laugh.
“—will probably be there.”
Favored, like in the stories? Had those legendary warriors, the first *Lokke Vitras’* closest allies, actually been agents of this unnamed foe? Enough time had passed since the war that facts about it, like who’d been allied with whom, could have gotten warped.
“I don’t suppose you’ll tell me who this Favored is, will you?” I said.
With a nervous giggle, Niklaus frantically shook his head.
“Thought not. That’s fine. I’ll make do,” I said. “For now, I want you to stay here and act like we never spoke, but once I’ve given House Cerullis and their masters something to think about, I’ll need you and Leski in Xygek. Give me your array’s access information so I can message you.”
Without protest, Niklaus waved it to me, and I paused, wondering if I was forgetting something. I badly wanted to ask him about Korix, but if he didn’t know what was going on with Cerullis as a whole, he wouldn’t know the lowly persona that my *evushk* would have taken in the House. Which left…
“I require a skycruiser,” I said.
“Please,” Niklaus said, “take whatever you need.”
With a sharp nod, I said, “I was never here, Niklaus.”
I left him there, probably still in shock from his rude awakening.
As the door fell closed behind me, something scuffed on the floor toward the end of the hallway, but I ignored it. Since entering the house through Niklaus’ window, I’d been monitoring this corridor, and no hostiles had come near it. The sound wasn’t worth investigating further.
After retrieving Ace, I found the estate’s hangar, and locating the fastest vehicle there, I got my dog into it before making a trip back to the kitchen for provisions. While doing that, I got ahold of the coordinates for House Cerullis’ Southern Fells facility before starting a report on my findings for Talira, although I wouldn’t send that to her until it was too late for her to stop my plans.
I continued working on it once I was in the air, snacking on stupidly salted popcorn while Ace looked on longingly. Junk food like this had always sped me through the boring, paperwork part of what I did, so when the situation called for it, I indulged.
Nothing changed for an hour, nothing except for me going through other snacks, but after a fourth stomach grumble rose from behind me, I relented in my feigned ignorance. When I next put my bag of chips down, I angled its opening toward the back of the skycruiser, and after a pause, a hand snaked from behind my seat to grab at the snack. After it retreated, crunching sounds filled the air, and I took my chips back.
Picking through the bag’s remnants, I said, “When you’re ready, you should climb up here. We need to talk.”
After shuffling for a bit, Leski stuck her head into the front before crawling to huddle in the seat beside me.
“Hi,” she said.
***[TTS Chapter Fifty-One](https://hischosenfuture.com/attachments/156)***
# Chapter 52: Frustrating Women and Easy Missions
Finishing off my snack, I glanced over my stowaway and almost didn’t recognize her, considering everything she’d done to alter her appearance.
She’d changed her hair color, for one. Not nearly enough time had passed to do that naturally, but its silver and purple hues had faded. A neutral brown now, it flared and stopped at chin length, softening her jawline, and this blurring continued over her face. She must have started a change to her features not long ago because they’d nearly reached the sweet spot between perfect clarity and too blurry to make out.
She also wasn’t wearing her typical, eye-catching clothes. Instead, House-issued slacks and a shirt were draped over her frame.
Bending toward her, I caught a strand of her hair between two fingers.
“Artificially dyed?” I asked.
Blushing, Leski said, “It’s good for last-minute social engagements where your hair color won’t match your outfit. Since changing it naturally can take a while…”
I nodded, dropping my hold.
“When did you start dying it?” I asked. “That’s a lengthy process too.”
“In between sessions of searching for you,” Leski said. “I figured you’d stayed at the house because several recorders’ feeds kept looping, but I could never catch you.”
So, that was how she’d kept showing up where I’d been not two minutes before! Clever girl.
“Good outfit choice too,” I said. “You’ll blend in.”
“That was the idea,” she said.
Leaning against the skycruiser’s door, I crossed my arms, examining her again.
“How long have you wanted to be an operative?” I asked. “It’s why you got so upset when I mentioned them before, right?”
Leski flushed a deep crimson while her mouth flapped open.
“I… That’s…”
“Relax. I’m not asking which House you’ll join,” I said, “and I’m certainly not recruiting for one. No House, remember?”
“Yes, but I thought-”
Clicking her teeth together, Leski huddled tighter on herself.
“You’re the most Kolb person I’ve met in my life, and you’re past the age limit for an unHoused. How can you say that you don’t have a House?”
I couldn’t answer that question, so I merely stared in response, and eventually, Leski looked away.
“Will you send me home to my father?” she stiffly said.
When I lifted my feet onto my seat, I could barely see her over my knees. I stuck my hand into the back of the skycruiser, and Ace shuffled to where his head was laying beneath it, panting when I scratched his ears. While I did this, Leski relaxed, and only once she’d meet my eyes again did I speak.
“Do you want to go home?”
*“No!”* Leski shouted, sitting bolt upright. “I have to help, both you and my father-”
Sucking in a breath, she fell silent, but I just grinned at her.
“I knew you were eavesdropping. It’s ok,” I said. “How much did you overhear?”
“I heard that House Cerullis is planning something bad, and unsurprisingly, my father’s involved,” Leski said, crossing her arms. “I heard that I’m the reason he’s in trouble, and no matter what I think of him, I won’t let him suffer because of me.”
“Which is why I left the skycruiser open while grabbing provisions,” I said.
Like a spider, Leski skittered as far away from me as she could in our limited confines.
“You wanted me to come!” she shouted.
In the back, Ace lifted his head, but when I patted him, he settled again.
“No. In fact, I hoped that you wouldn’t,” I said, “but you deserved the opportunity to make the choice for yourself. Plus, you seem capable enough, if inexperienced. Mother Time knows how many times a complaining stomach got me in trouble when I first started with this. You should always eat something light before a mission.”
Leaning my head back, I closed my eyes while Leski digested what I’d said, stilling my hand to rest on Ace’s neck.
“I don’t understand,” she eventually said. “You’re letting me… choose?”
“Of course. Freedom of choice is highly undervalued in Lutov. I offer it when I can,” I said. “Now, if you’re coming with me, you’re to follow my lead at all times while we’re in the House Cerullis facility. If I tell you to stay behind me, you stick to my heels. If I tell you to run for escape and leave me, you do it without question. This is the only way I’ll bring you along, *my* choice. Understood?”
“Yes.”
“Then, wake me up when we land,” I said.
I still hadn’t figured out why my natural sleep rhythm had gotten so messed up the last time I’d fallen asleep, and I was a little concerned that it would happen again, but at some point, I’d have to rest.
I also wasn’t thrilled about making myself so vulnerable around a relative unknown, but if Leski tried to hurt me and my instincts failed to kick me into the waking world, I had Ace to guard me until I could do it for myself.
So, I turned myself off for a while.
Rather than a fist battering against a door, a gentle thump woke me up this time. We’d stopped moving with the rolling hills around us stretching into the mountains, and I turned to ask Leski why she hadn’t woken me up, as requested, only to click my tongue.
She was slumped between her seat and the door with a trickle of drool dripping out of her mouth. Not even capable of staying awake when asked to do so…
I should leave her here. Who knew what kind of vulnerabilities she’d bring to us both? Considering how much she was snoring right now, I could probably complete the mission and return here before she woke up but…
I hadn’t been any better at her stage of learning, and she needed this chance to help her family. Having backup, no matter how much of a rookie she was, would also be nice.
So, I carefully balanced a leftover popcorn kernel on Leski’s upturned cheek before letting Ace know that he could have it. Stretching into the front, he eagerly took his unexpected treat, licking its perch once it had disappeared.
Leski shouted, trying to scramble upright, but a dog was in the way. By the time she’d pushed Ace into the back again, I was doubled over with laughter.
“You think you’re *so* funny, don’t you?” she panted, scrubbing at her cheek. “Well, I’ll have you know that I do pranks too, and I’m damn good at them.”
Leaning on my leg, I cupped my chin.
“Bet you I’m better,” I said.
“You keep thinking that, asshole,” Leski growled while glancing outside. “We’re here. Shouldn’t we get going?”
She climbed out of the skycruiser in a huff, and grinning, I watched her shiver with her hands shoved under her arms. I liked pushing her buttons.
When I spun to my knees, Ace had already flopped onto the backseat again, and I bit my lip when he lifted his tired eyes to me. My loyal, old friend. Why had someone uprooted his life now, when he should be spending every day relaxing in his den with his pack?
“I’ll figure this out, buddy,” I said. “The first step is here, so I have to leave you for a bit, but the skycruiser’s set to fly you to Feena’s place if I’m not back in a few hours. She’ll take care of you.”
I didn’t know why I was telling him these things. Perhaps I needed to reassure myself or soothe a guilty conscience. What House Kolb member brought their dog with them on a mission?
Ruffling his fur, I joined Leski outside, making sure to crack a window for Ace. Since leaving her family’s estate, we’d gained altitude, and subsequently, the temperature had dropped, not to dangerous levels but definitely uncomfortable. I’d always enjoyed the cold and the sharpening of the senses that it temporarily brought, but judging from her unhappy expression, Leski did not.
“Come on. A little exercise will warm us up,” I said.
Passing her, I settled into a jog. We weren’t far from our destination, but walking wouldn’t get us there until morning, and I’d rather infiltrate the place at night. When the sun went down, people usually got more alert, but a lot less of them moved about, which was something we’d need.
Leski might look like a House Cerullis member, but I didn’t know if she could act like one. Meanwhile, I could become anyone I desired, but I didn’t look like the part I’d need to play. I’d changed after lunch, but even still, I looked too Kolb.
When the House Cerullis facility came into view with its shining lights illuminating the base of the mountain behind it, I slowed to a stop, glancing over our goal while addressing Leski.
“Do you have any fleshed-out personas?”
“Several,” she said, “but none that I’ve put into practice.”
“Show me,” I said.
Shrinking on herself, Leski started wringing her hands, of all things, while darting her gaze between me and the ground.
“If… um, if it pleases you,” she said in a shaking voice. “My name is, um, Rosae, Tenth Stratus of House Drav. How- how can I help you?”
Decent. A little over the top, but decent.
“How about a persona that would pair with a high Stratus?” I asked. “Have anyone like that?”
Leski stiffened, looking down her nose at me.
“Are you asking me to conform to your expectations?” she said with a sniff. “Don’t make me laugh.”
“Perfect!” I said, clapping. “What’s your name?”
Clicking her tongue, Leski said, “Wyla, if you must know. I won’t stoop to telling you my Stratus or House.”
“Because you neglected to give the persona one, or because you wanted to make it flexible?” I asked.
Leski relaxed, grinning at me.
“The second, obviously,” she said.
“Then tonight, Wyla is a Fourth Stratus of House Cerullis, accompanying… Tobis, Third Stratus, on a surprise inspection of this facility,” I said. “Go ahead and don your persona, and don’t drop it until you’re sure it’s safe to do so.”
Flushing, Leski nodded before going rigid again, but before she completely dove into Wyla, I laid a hand on her shoulder.
“One more thing, and this is important,” I said. “This mission will quite possibly be the most dangerous infiltration that I’ve ever done. Because of that, you should know that there’s a good chance you’ll die here. We’ll be surrounded by desperate people while facing an unidentified enemy that has unknown resources, none of which is conducive to success.
“If you do die and I somehow survive, I’ll hide what’s happened to you from your father until the threat to Lutov has passed because I’ll need his help. If he learns that you’re dead, he’ll be too wrapped up in grief to do that.
“Knowing this, are you sure you want to join me? I wouldn’t blame you if you’d rather wait with Ace.”
Paling, Leski considered what I’d said for a moment before swallowing.
“If I came with you, would it help?” she asked.
“Likely,” I said.
I wouldn’t give her anything besides the base truth, didn’t want to influence her when it came to this decision.
Taking a deep breath, Leski slowly let it out before meeting my eyes.
“Then, I’m coming,” she said. “I’m grateful for your honesty.”
I’d half-hoped that the possibility of death, a concept that the average citizen found so repellant, would make her second-guess herself, but it seemed to have done the opposite, and for that, I was half-glad. I’d need an accomplice to sell the story I meant to tell, and entering the facility any other way would be taxing and dangerous. I’d also probably end up hurting someone, which I’d rather not do.
With an obligatory warning given, I wouldn’t try to change Leski’s mind anymore. I’d do my best to protect her, and anything I couldn’t handle, I’d have to hope that she could escape on her own.
So, I told her, “When possible, honesty is always the best policy. Besides it usually being the moral course of action, telling fewer lies means fewer stories that you have to maintain.”
“Huh,” Leski said. “I’ve never thought about it that way, but you’re right.”
“Of course I am. I’m a Third Stratus researcher, remember?” I said. “Now, where’s Wyla? She and Tobis need to leave if they want to spring this inspection on their unsuspecting victims.”
Glancing at the facility, Leski grimaced.
“Must we walk all that way?” she said.
“The better to catch them unaware, my dear,” I said. “Shall we?”
I offered her my arm, and after she took it, we strolled over the last stretch of the moors left between us and our destination.
While approaching the facility, I examined it. It was ugly, nothing like the House’s more artful places of research, but we didn’t need this one to be pretty, merely functional. Who on earth would care about another splotch of distastefulness dropped on these awful marshes?
Even still, I wrinkled my nose as it loomed over me. It reminded me of the production facilities on the Eastern Reaches. Every time I’d had the misfortune of visiting that polluted portion of Lutov, I’d regretted it. The place was so dreary.
When a checkpoint came into view, the woman on my arm squeezed me, and I glanced at her. If she removed those unfortunate freckles covering her skin, my assistant might be pretty, and perhaps she was in the middle of doing that, *finally,* because her features had blurred.
She’d chosen a poor time to start the process, though. The difficulty of identifying her might make accessing the facility problematic, but oh well. My Stratus alone should be enough to get us through.
As I patted her hand, a man emerged from the checkpoint’s booth, lifting a palm to shine its projected light on us.
“Halt,” he called. “Identify yourselves.”
“Tobis, Third Stratus,” I called back, “and this is…”
“Wyla. Fourth Stratus,” my assistant said with her voice trembling.
Frowning, I glared at her. Why was she shaking? We were here on official business. She didn’t need to be afraid.
“Forgive my assistant,” I said. “She’s a skittish thing, and our flight here was rather bumpy.”
“Yeah, travel to this part of the Southern Fells is like that,” the guard said. “Your business?”
Flashing a smile, I said, “Inspection.”
And groaning, the guard lowered his hand.
“Another one?” he said. “I know things have gotten tense in the House lately, but are so many of these *really* necessary? Twice in one week seems excessive, even with what’s coming.”
“Do *not* speak of that,” I hissed.
Advancing, I got in the guard’s face, leaving Wyla behind.
“What if I was a spy from Zan or, Mother Time forbid, a Kolb operative? You’d have told them that we have something planned beyond our normal operations, and *they* wouldn’t have been pleased. Do you want to upset *them?”*
“N-no,” the guard stammered.
“Then, be grateful that I won’t report you,” I said, “but only if you let Wyla and me inside without a fuss.”
“O-of course.”
The guard stepped aside, and I held my arm out. Once Wyla had taken it again, we swept through the checkpoint and into the facility.
I paused once we were inside. It had been a while since my last visit here, so I was fuzzy about where everything was located.
“Where should we go first?” Wyla asked.
“The stacks. All relevant data will be stored there,” I said, “and if someone’s already done an inspection within the last week, we shouldn’t have to trawl through too much information. Hopefully. I hate the stacks. It’s quiet there, even with its storecases’ ticking and whirring.”
“Then, we should get this over with,” Wyla said. “Let’s find a lift. Most places keep their stacks underground, right?”
Gracing her with a smile, I said, “I knew I kept you around for a reason.”
Now, if only I could remember where the lifts were. We wandered through the facility in concentric circles, searching for one, and only the occasional Cerullis member hurried through the corridors that we walked down. It was the dead of night, so I didn’t find their low numbers surprising, but the anxiety that I saw in everyone else was unexpected. Had something gone wrong?
Most of the facility’s labs were abandoned with their doors flung open to show off their test tubes and glowing monitors. Several dozen copies of this same scene made a long line down every hallway, so when their doorways hiccupped for a significant span up ahead, I quickened my step. Maybe we’d found what we sought.
When we reached that smooth wall, however, I slowed down until I’d stopped in front of the rectangular window embedded in it.
Beyond it was a hangar with all sorts of aircraft sitting on the landing pads that it contained. People scrambled around these vehicles, loading weapons into them.
Weapons that nearly filled the rest of the hangar’s empty space. Bins upon bins of rifles, pistols, and grenades. Bombs, from the purely explosive variety to ones that were much worse. Poison cannisters as tall as a shuttle. No Dissolvers or comparable weapons that I could see, though.
Still. That was a lot of firepower. More than I’d known we had.
“Tobis,” Wyla said. “The stacks?”
Shaking my head, I squeezed her hand.
“Thank you, my dear,” I said. “Seeing so much potential for devastation leaves me dumbstruck.”
“Which is understandable, but we can’t stand here, gawking. We have work to do,” Wyla said. “So, let’s do it.”
As we resumed our search, the cache behind us worried at my mind. I knew we needed it, but why? What did *they* expect us to do with it? These questions occupied me so thoroughly that I almost ran into someone when rounding a corner. Only my quick reflexes saved Wyla and me from a bad fall.
“My apolo-”
A black-clothed man with gray eyes and black hair stared at me with something unreadable running over his face. Holy shit, I’d almost run into the-
Wait. What was he doing here?
***[TTS Chapter Fifty-Two](https://hischosenfuture.com/attachments/157)***
# Chapter 53: Let's Mess This Shit Up
Bowing, I stuttered, *“L-lokke Vi-vitras.”*
*Korix,* something deep inside whispered with relief.
Seizing my arm, he pulled me out of my bow before dragging Wyla and me after him. He pushed us into the closest lab, locking the door once it had slid closed, and shoved me deeper into the room.
“Find a corner,” he said. “Stay there.”
While I scrambled to do as he’d commanded, the *Lokke Vitras* rounded on Wyla.
“Name and House,” he said.
Wyla didn’t seem to be listening, though, with fascination lighting her eyes. Funny how I could read the emotions on her face, even with it so thoroughly blurred.
“You…” she said, tapping her lips. “The way you’re holding yourself is… familiar. Why do I-?”
The *Lokke Vitras* stepped into her personal space, towering over her.
“Your name and House,” he said, “if you please.”
Blinking up at him, Wyla shifted in place, shucking the distracted air that she’d assumed. Her body stiffened with her shoulders rising for her ears while her hands trembled in fists at her sides.
“I’m unHoused,” she said with her voice clipped, “and unless you find it necessary, I’d rather not provide a name at this time.”
UnHoused? What on earth was she talking about and…? Had she just refused the *Lokke Vitras?*
“I don’t require it, so you may have your privacy,” he said. “Why are you here?”
With a slow breath in and out, Wyla bled tension from her frame before glancing at me.
“Helping him, among other reasons,” she said.
Piercing, gray eyes landed on me, and I shriveled in my corner.
“I see,” the *Lokke Vitras* said.
He returned his gaze to Wyla, letting me breathe again.
“Can you get out of here by yourself?” he asked. “He has me to help him now, and I need you to carry a message for me.”
Shrugging, Wyla said, “Shouldn’t be too hard, considering how easy it was to get inside. What’s the message?”
“Tell *shukusen* Talira that my mission is almost complete. She should send as many high Strata as she can spare to clean up,” the *Lokke Vitras* said. “Here’s her array’s access information.”
He waved toward Wyla, and after a pause where she ran her eyes up and down his body almost… appreciatively, she nodded. How was she so nonchalant about the legendary *Lokke Vitras* giving her the means to contact a head of House? This wasn’t the Wyla I knew.
How did I know her again?
“Anything else I can do?” she asked.
Shaking his head, the *Lokke Vitras* said, “He and I will take care of the rest. Run along now.”
Assuming the bearing of a soldier from Ibis, Wyla touched her fingers to her forehead in a salute.
“Yes, sir.”
As she trotted to the door, the *Lokke Vitras* unlocked it for her, absently staring through it once it had closed.
“I like her,” he said. “I hope you haven’t gotten her killed.”
How was I supposed to respond to that? I was confused as hell, unsure why he’d taken such an interest in me and my assistant. What did he want from me?
Looking over his shoulder, he raised an eyebrow.
“An unHoused? Really?”
Did he mean Wyla?
“I- I don’t know what you mean,” I said. “As far as I’m aware, she’s Fourth Stratus.”
“Oh, for Mother Time’s sake.”
Facing me, the *Lokke Vitras* crossed his arms.
“I’ve isolated us from the recorders near this lab,” he said. “You can drop the persona, *kuvesk.”*
And I surfaced, taking a deep breath. Shaking Tobis off. Devouring Korix with my eyes.
He was ok. Oh, thank all that might be holy, he was fine.
Right?
“Why are you here and out of persona no less? Someone *will* recognize you. Eventually,” I said. “Have you come from another facility? How did you arrive on the same night as me?”
With a soft laugh, Korix said, “Straight to it, then? No hello? No answer to my question?”
“Sorry,” I said. “Sorry, I-”
Stepping forward, I clasped his shoulders, the most physical contact I could allow myself right now. If I did anything more, I might unleash the grateful tears that I was withholding.
“The last few days have been difficult,” I said. “I’ve been worried. You?”
“The same,” Korix said. “How’s Ace handling everything?”
“The best he can. He’s safe,” I said. “As for the unHoused young woman, she chose to come with me. I didn’t encourage her to join my team, although I did facilitate. I wasn’t going to stop her from living her life as she wanted, even if that meant that she stepped into danger.”
Sighing, Korix said, “That is so very you.”
I waited for him to answer my questions, but he collected my hands from his shoulders, holding them between us while brushing his thumbs over the backs of them.
“Why are *you* here?” he asked.
Getting asked the same question that I’d just spoken without him answering me first was rather annoying, but he was *evushk,* and I was *kuvesk.* I bowed to his wisdom in all things, including how he ordered our questioning.
So, I told him everything I’d learned and what I’d concluded from it, and once I’d finished, he was quiet, gazing into nothing while he thought.
“That matches my findings,” he eventually said.
“So, you’re here to cause a disruption too?” I asked.
With a small smirk, Korix said, “What do you think? Care to come with me?”
Work with my partner to punish the people who’d destroyed our home?
“Yes, please,” I growled.
“Then, let’s go.”
Korix led me through House Cerullis’ facility with no hesitation in his step, which didn’t surprise me. I had no doubt he’d taken the time to learn this place’s innards before coming here, if he hadn’t already known its layout.
When it came to looping the recorders’ feeds, thereby keeping us invisible from our enemy, he and I traded off like we’d always done on missions together, something we’d practiced so many times that it had become as instinctive as breathing.
I was a little concerned by the lack of House Cerullis members in the halls, but while we’d been exploring earlier, Leski and Tobis had encountered few of them too. Korix was probably using his array’s indications of body heat to avoid the small number of them who were still awake. With him in the lead, I didn’t bother to do the same.
As we moved along, however, Korix himself began to worry me. His shoulders were drawn together with far too much tension there, and when we turned onto a new hallway, I caught his throat working like he was trying to say something. After I’d seen these signs of an imminent collapse, it didn’t matter that we were on a mission. I grabbed his wrist, pulling him to the side.
“Are you ok?” I asked. “You look like you might fall apart at any moment.”
A war was taking place behind those gray eyes with the past quickly coming to claim its owner, and after checking that no recorders were watching us, I twisted my hand into his and squeezed it.
“It’s ok if you’re not,” I said. “I can carry us this time.”
Sucking in a breath, Korix said, “I-”
He went absent for a moment, making my heart seize in my chest, before relaxing.
“I’m fine for the moment,” he said, returning my squeeze. “Let’s get this over with so we can have one of our talks. We haven’t had a chance to do that yet, right?”
“Right,” I sighed. “Sorry.”
We’d delayed doing that for far too long.
“It’s ok. You needed to know how much you can rely on me. It’s understandable that you’d check on my mental state,” Korix said. “I promise. I’ll be fine until the end of this. Besides, after a few more turns, we’ll be where we need to be.”
“And what’s the plan when we arrive?” I asked. “Are we destroying weapons? Eliminating personnel?”
I’d hate to learn that Cerullis had more firepower than the stockpile in the hangar at our backs, but it wasn’t like I could do anything about that.
“Something like that,” Korix said with a half-smile.
He wanted to be mysterious, did he? I could live in suspense. It wasn’t like I’d stay there for long.
True to his word, Korix stopped us outside of a wide door, probably guarding a room that Cerullis was using for storage.
“Sneak in, initial recon, and we’ll go from there,” he said. “No rifles unless we must. We don’t want their formation alerting the facility to us.”
“They have the room alarmed for that?” I asked.
Running across a place with security measures like that was uncommon, and nine times out of ten, it meant something shady was happening inside.
“Unfortunately,” Korix said.
“Damn,” I muttered.
Canceling my request, I nodded to him.
“When you’re ready.”
Korix touched the panel beside the door, and it began pulling apart. Once the gap between the top and bottom halves was large enough, I stepped through them, scanning for cover. If someone was in here, we’d need concealment quickly. The room’s occupants would probably soon come to investigate.
But in the cavernous chamber beyond, there was nothing, just a lot of empty space. Had someone moved what they’d kept stored in here?
Cautiously, I advanced into the room, and Korix swept ahead of me with a worried look on his face. He hadn’t expected this?
Wait. Was this a-?
“Hello, Zaeden. We’ve been waiting for you.”
Fuck. It *was* a trap, but that was ok. I’d been trained for this.
Slowly turning, I kept my hands in a neutral position, clearly visible but also near my weapons. In the doorway, a handful of armed House Cerullis members were watching me, one of whom was staring my way with black eyes in blue-tinged sockets. Alezand.
I waited for Korix to say something, but when nothing came from him, I stepped into the silence.
“Alezand, what are you doing?” I said. “I saw your people loading several aircraft with all manner of weapons. Who’s it meant for? House Kolb?”
Why was Korix letting me take the speaking role? Sure, I needed more practice with negotiations, but now was a supremely bad time for it. Horrible threat lurking and all, right?
“Shouldn’t you be more concerned about yourself than a House you don’t claim?” Alezand asked.
He wasn’t worried. Why was that? Even having surprised me and Korix, he should be terrified. Not many enemies walked away from an encounter with us.
“You don’t scare me,” I said. “I can take you, especially given who my backup is.”
I jerked my head in Korix’s general direction, but rather than showing fear at the reminder of the *Lokke Vitras’* presence, as I’d expected, Alezand slumped, shaking his head.
“He was right,” he said. “You do unconditionally trust him.”
What? *What?*
Alezand was showing me pity and-
Oh… fuck. I- I couldn’t breathe, certain I’d entered a vacuum, even with my array insisting that I had oxygen all around me. This growing suspicion couldn’t be right. It couldn’t. *Evushk*… he- he was my…
Please, say I was wrong. *Please.* I couldn’t do this again.
With his face twisting, Alezand said, “You’re alone, Zaeden.”
In a blink, a knife was in my hand, and House Kolb speed turned the Cerullis members by the door into statues as I whirled. I drove my weapon’s point toward Korix, hoping only to maim him, but he snatched my wrist while pressing cold metal into my jaw, tilting my head back.
“I always knew love would get you killed,” he said.
Thin lines of steel rolled from under his sleeve to encase the hand around my wrist, and as any good operative would, Korix squeezed my wrist, breaking its bones, to disarm me.
Even knowing it for the defiance that it was, I fought to retain my weapon, but without something to support the blade, my effort was useless. My knife fell to the floor with each of its clatters a thunderclap of diminishing volume, and when the noise stopped, all was still.
***[TTS Chapter Fifty-Three](https://hischosenfuture.com/attachments/158)***
# Chapter 54: Why?
How I managed to stay on my feet was beyond me. I didn’t have adrenaline to help me ignore the pain in my wrist, and without it, I usually couldn’t take something like this without stumbling, only deadening my nerve endings after my initial reaction.
I didn’t indulge in that relief now. The shrieking of my wrist was battling the angry snarl that had snagged its thorny branches throughout my body.
“What the fuck, *evushk?”* I growled.
With his rifle’s muzzle painfully digging into my jaw, talking was difficult, but I did it anyway because I had to know.
*“Why?”*
Rather than answer me, Korix looked over my head.
“I told you he’d come here, just like I told you he’d get through your security measures without you knowing about it,” he said. “If you’d left well enough alone, he would never have suspected us.”
“As I’ve already said, I glassed your home because *they* demanded it,” Alezand said.
“That’s not why you did it, and you know it,” Korix said. “You’ve never been sure of my loyalty. This is just another example of that distrust.”
He shook his head with a huff.
“I suppose that doesn’t matter. In the end, your little maneuver has worked in our favor. All significant threats have been cleared from the board.”
“And we shall proceed as instructed, Favored,” Alezand said.
Korix was *their* Favored? Oh, Mother Time, no wonder Niklaus had seemed both terrified and amused when I’d asked about his identity.
“What will you do with him?” Alezand continued, nodding my way.
Korix flicked his eyes toward me, and they were so cold, filled with the clinical detachment that he only directed at his targets.
“I have plans for him,” he said. “For now, we’ll give him the same hospitality that you gave me years ago. Is my cell still available?”
“Yes.”
“Then, we take him there,” Korix said.
Meeting my eyes, he tightened his hold on me, and my vision flashed white.
“Do anything that I don’t like, and I will end you,” he said.
And I believed him. Mother Time, he’d kill me if it suited him.
Almost, a ragged sob shuddered through me, but I stopped it. Suspended emotions. Went blank. This shock and anger and fear and grief? They weren’t helping me. I needed to figure out how to escape from this mess. I needed to alert Talira about what had happened.
I needed to know why fervently loyal Korix would betray Lutov like this. Because that…
That *wasn’t him.*
Oh, hell.
“Disarm,” Korix ordered. “Slowly, starting with what you can reach.”
While sudden giddiness and overwhelming despair eddied and flowed in me, I removed knives, pistols, and other weapons from my body, throwing them away from me. I started having trouble at my hips, and releasing me, Korix took a step back.
I watched him as I finished. Was I right? Please, let my suspicions be right. It was certainly backed by enough precedence.
Considering everything it would entail, though, did I want to be right?
Once I was done, I rose to my full height, spreading my arms, while waiting for my next instruction.
“Alezand, you can return to your post,” Korix said. “As for the peons you brought with you, one can collect Zaeden’s weapons while another will lead the way to the cells. The rest are dismissed. You—”
He poked my chest with his rifle.
“—turn around and start walking.”
Striding in the wake of a House Cerullis member, I made a map of our route from the warehouse in my head. I couldn’t send Talira a message yet, as they’d surely detect it, but if I could escape from the cell Cerullis had specially prepared for Korix—
Ha!
—I’d have the beginnings of a way out of here. Once I was under an open sky, I could contact my grandmother.
Hell, she’d never let me hear the end of this, if we survived it. I couldn’t believe I’d fallen into such an obvious trap, but I’d trusted Korix, even when he’d shown signs that something was wrong. Even when he’d been walking around this place without a persona to disguise himself or a care in the world. Even when he’d sent my ally away.
Oh, fuck. Leski! Had she made it out of here, or had Korix sent that wonderful woman into a trap as well?
I hoped she was safe. I hoped she’d sent Korix’s message to Talira, even if that had definitely been a ploy to draw more of Kolb’s strength into a slaughter. If she hadn’t escaped… if she was dead, I didn’t think I could forgive Korix, even if I was right about what was happening with him.
Speaking of which, I should test my theory.
“Am I allowed to speak?” I asked.
“Why wouldn’t you be?” Korix said.
He’d sounded distracted. I’d never actually believe that of him, but what could be pulling enough of his attention away from his circumstances for him to come off as vulnerable?
“Will you answer a few questions?” I asked. “I’m curious about what’s subverted the *Lokke Vitras’* loyalty, and if I understood what caused something so unthinkable, I might be more open to switching sides myself.”
Our guide stopped, nodding to the door beside her, but before I could probe the security processes surrounding the cell, Korix spun me to face him.
“What do you want to know?” he asked.
Taking a deep breath, I said, “What’s this about? I understand that some of it has to do with upholding the Founder’s part of a pact, but *why?* What did *they* do during the war with those from beyond the stars to make you—of all people—believe that we owe *them?”*
Korix’s smile was sharp.
“Besides saving us, you mean?” he said. “That was enough for me. If you want more detail, you’ll have to pick through Lutov’s records of the pre-Founding nations, although good luck with finding those anywhere but in The Library. I didn’t think doing that was worth the effort.”
Again, not like Korix. I’d never known a man more heavily invested in researching every aspect of an important choice before making it.
“Fair enough. Frankly, *they* had my sympathy after I learned that we owe *them,”* I said. “You know how much I hate the idea of being in someone’s debt.”
With a soft laugh, Korix said, “That, I do.”
“So with that said, I’m curious about what *they* want from us,” I said. “If *they* were advanced enough to resist those from beyond the stars, what could we possibly offer *them?”*
While he considered how to answer, I studied the House Cerullis member. She was shifting far too much, darting her fearful gaze too often at Korix. Distracted. I could use that, if given the chance.
“They want a home,” Korix whispered. “Children.”
“Then, why don’t *they* ask for that?” I said. “Despite our general feeling of overcrowding, we do have plenty of room in Lutov, room that the high Strata would happily surrender to satisfy a debt, and House Drav can help with kids.”
A spasm crossed Korix’s face.
“It’s not that simple,” he said.
“It rarely is. That’s why we negotiate, working together to help each other,” I said, “but I know that sometimes, that isn’t enough.”
“Yes,” Korix whispered.
He still looked distracted. In fact, I didn’t know how it was possible, but right now, he looked even *more* distracted than before, like he was fighting off something internally.
That was good. If he was as unfocused as he appeared, maybe I’d get an honest answer out of him for this next question, which I needed. It would determine exactly how devastated I might be in the next few days.
“So, *they* have a compelling reason for their course of action and a desperate need behind it as well. I can see why you joined *them,”* I said. “Question is, when *they* took you, was it before you’d have come to this decision on your own?”
Korix’s eyebrows leapt for his hairline before he raised a hand to cover his body-shaking laughter, which was disconcerting to view. His displays of emotion had almost always been minimal, so this explosion of it? It sent a shiver through me.
“You think *they’re* controlling me? No. I am the master of myself,” he gasped. “You taught me this, *kuvesk.* Every time you’ve spoken about freedom or making choices for oneself was another budding blossom in who I am today. My decision to join *their* cause, coming so soon after the fallout of the Crescent Incident, is because of *you.* Now, move.”
He backed me into the door, and while he fiddled with it, I saw my theory for the denial that it had been. I didn’t want to admit that Korix was gone, that another man I… loved had betrayed me.
So, I clung to hope, even knowing it was futile.
“Sacrifice self. House before family. Lutov over all,” I said. “Would you abandon a mantra that you’ve followed for your whole life?”
Shuddering, Korix leaned on the door frame so that his face was centimeters from mine.
“They’re pretty words,” he hissed through gritted teeth, “nothing more.”
The door slid along my back, and Korix shoved me inside, although I didn’t stumble far.
I couldn’t let him leave. If he went like this, then I’d know I’d lost him. I’d know that nothing we’d had was real. All that time when we’d been learning how to open up to one another, he’d been plotting this, the destruction of our home and everything that he’d taught me, and I couldn’t have that. I couldn’t!
I COULDN’T.
Not again.
I caught the door as it was closing, sending acid pouring from my broken wrist and down my arm.
“Please, Ko,” I said with my voice shaking. “Don’t do this. I- I need you.”
Again, Korix shuddered. Those vibrations flew through him so violently that he fell into me, and I struggled to support his weight, off-balanced as I’d been beforehand. He’d never hung from me like this before, like dead weight.
When he rallied, shooting his head up from my chest, his features had blurred, as if in the middle of a body shift, with a fine layer of mist or steam seeping out of his skin. He seized my shoulders, digging his fingernails into cloth and flesh, and his voice emerged strangled.
“You… have… to… stop… me.”
And I faced a potent depiction of pain, one I’d never wanted to see again. The examples I’d seen in Tatum and Fyester, so many years ago, had been enough for a lifetime. My overwhelmed mind hiccupped air into my lungs, and my hands trembled as I confronted the possibility of holding another husk of a person I’d loved.
Then, it stopped. And Korix straightened. And he laughed.
“Or at least, I look forward to watching you try,” he said, wiping his eyes.
Stepping outside, he had the door slam shut, and its locks engaged. I was left barely standing, taking tiny sips of air.
What had *that* been? What had it-? What-?
No.
Slapping my face, I shook myself. Now that I could do nothing for him, I couldn’t think about Korix. I needed to escape.
So, I examined the tools that I had to work with, which was… nothing. I was in an empty cube of a room, six metal surfaces welded together. It wasn’t claustrophobically small, a few meters in width and length all told, but besides floating, *useless* light globes, nothing was in here.
When I tried the door, I scrabbled my fingers along its smooth surface, gaining no purchase. Even an open palm failed to make it budge, not that I’d expected anything else.
Maybe I could melt my way out. Requesting my rifle, I waited for a beat before realizing that it wasn’t forming. With a frown, I checked my array before stumbling into a wall, leaning on it to keep myself on watery legs.
I hadn’t lost the ability to modify my body, and its augmented healing rate remained in place, as evidenced by the steady repair of my wrist, but using any other function in my array gave me errors. When I reached out for nearby recorders, I got no results. When I tried to send a message, it just bounced back to me.
*They’d* found a way to isolate arrays.
For a while, I picked at this notion because the concept of it floored me. Lutov had relied on arrays for so long that no one had attempted to subvert or sabotage them in…
Hell, I couldn’t look up how long it had been.
*A long time.*
We had the Puppeteer, of course, but its architect had—from what I could remember—been one of the few people in Lutovish history to face execution. Not only had their death occurred soon after the Puppeteer’s creation, but for centuries, access to those intimidating pieces of tech had been heavily regulated, to the point that possessing one was enough to get its owner exiled without a trial.
All of this was to say that isolating arrays, as *they’d* done, was something my people would never consider possible. The faintest breath of the idea would never cross our minds.
I didn’t know what to do. It had been years since a plan had refused to come to me. The last time had happened after Fyester had attacked me, and just like then, I genuinely had no clue about how I should proceed. Maybe I’d think of something while I considered the problem further, but I doubted it.
Which meant I was stuck here.
Was this what had happened to Korix? Had he waited in this cell, perhaps hoping to overpower his captors when they came to feed him?
Was he even under their thumb, like I’d thought? Our last exchange had seemed like a clear indication of it, but he might have faked his distress to muddle me, getting me focused on him instead of my problems. Like I was doing now.
If *they’d* imprisoned Korix here, I didn’t have the luxury of waiting it out like he probably had. I’d seen the weapons and aircraft in that hangar. Whatever Cerullis’ plan was, it would start soon, and considering the type of weapons they had, it would be devastating. Korix and this House would be implicated in crimes against Lutov, and if the homeland survived their attack, I’d be sent to hunt them down. I’d have to kill another loved one because I was stuck in a fucking box.
Over the next few minutes, I might have thrown a temper tantrum. If I did, I didn’t remember it.
The next thing I knew, I was panting in the middle of the cell with a raw throat and bloody knuckles. From what I could tell, a furious tumult, the one that had wiped thought away from me, was still rumbling inside, so I wasn’t sure why I was aware.
Then, I noticed a new message in my array.
I didn’t know how long I just stared at it. Maybe a quarter-hour had passed since I’d tentatively accepted that my array couldn’t reach the outside world and something new had come in? Mother Time must favor me, although that probably depended on what the message said.
Opening it, I read its contents and sank to the floor, folding my arms around my waist as I bent double. I was laughing and crying at the same time, unable to control myself, and my tears blurred the message, even if its words were still circling in my head.
*Hang on. Help’s on the way.*
The message didn’t say who’d sent it, so I had no clue who was coming to my aid, but frankly? I didn’t care.
I was the *Lokke Vitras* to come, and somehow, I’d gotten myself in such a fucked-up situation that a stranger would have to rescue me. The idea had me so forcefully rocking with laughter that I toppled into a sprawl across the floor.
But mostly, blissful relief burned my eyes. I’d get out of here, saved by one, and go forth to save all of Lutov.
Staring at a metal ceiling, I let myself simply breathe with no thought allowed in my head. I could make plans in a moment, but for now, all I wanted was to exist and enjoy this rare sense that everything was right in the world.
Everything was going to be ok.
***[TTS Chapter Fifty-Four](https://hischosenfuture.com/attachments/159)***
# Addendum
Betrayal, as you know, is one of the worst ordeals that someone can experience. So many emotions are mixed up with it, anger and hurt being the top contenders, but the worst of them is when the one who was betrayed is left wondering what made the other person turn against them.
Living in doubt of someone’s loyalty is worse. It’s a constant tug-of-war between hurt and hope, and it’s… frightening.
After what happened with Korix, I never fully trusted someone again. I would think I’d reached that state, but then, someone’s trustworthiness would be called into question, and my first reaction was to retreat, hoping to protect myself.
Even with you, even knowing that the future dictates we’ll remain faithful to one another until the end, I can’t help but prepare for the day you’ll turn on me, like you once thought I’d done to you.
In the end, this suspicion made me a better *Lokke Vitras.* It made me the person that you and your family needed, both when I only protected the five of you and when you invited me into your ranks.
If… you feel up to it, I’d like it if you shared this account with your friends. I don’t know if they’re hurting because of my loss. We grew close over this last year, but I could never be sure whether what we shared was genuine or born out of accommodation to you.
Doubt of everyone, remember? Destroyer of inner peace.
I, for one, am fond of them, more than is healthy, actually. They’ve been lights of love and acceptance in what was both the best and worst two years of my life. I would die for them, and funnily enough, that’s what will happen, if in the most remote of ways.
So, I’d like for them to know me too. I’d like them to see that I wasn’t always the barely contained mess that I am today.
Now. Before we continue.
Take a break, love. If you’re acting at all like the man I’ve come to know, you’ve obsessively listened to what I’ve recorded, probably curled up in your lab somewhere. I know you want to dive back in. I’ve left you on such a cliffhanger, after all!
But put the audio recorder down. Eat. Go outside. Say hello to your family and friends. Live your life.
And then, return. I’ll always be waiting in these recorded words, for as many times as you want to hear them.
***[TTS Addendum](https://hischosenfuture.com/attachments/160)***
# Chapter 55: Rescue From an Unexpected Quarter
What was taking so long?
This question echoed in me as I circled the confines of my cell with my hands plastered to my forehead.
I kept thinking to myself, *Everything’s fine. It’ll all be fine.*
Repeating those assertions wasn’t drowning out the echo, though, and I swore to Mother Time, I was going to-
Where the hell was that sense of peace I’d had not long ago?
A couple of hours had passed since I’d received a message of hope, and I was still waiting in this cell. If I made another pacing pass around it, I was sure I’d scream.
What had happened? Had the person who’d sent the message gotten caught? At the thought of rescue being ripped away from me, I flinched, but I knew it was a possibility.
And who could have sent it in the first place? A deep-cover operative seemed most likely, but knowing Korix, he’d have rooted all House Kolb members out of this facility by now.
Mother Time, Korix…
No. I couldn’t let my mind drift that way because if I did, I’d get stuck on a looping track of conviction followed by doubt. Was someone I had yet to identify controlling him? Or had he betrayed Lutov and me in truth?
Shaking my head, I forced my thoughts away from these questions. I couldn’t answer them, not yet. Better to focus on the ones that were causing me much less stress.
Like my message sender’s identity.
If a House Kolb member hadn’t sent me hope, maybe it had been someone in Cerullis, someone who was unhappy with the direction that Alezand was leading them in. This explanation seemed much more likely since Korix probably wouldn’t have identified them, not as easily at least.
It would also explain why my rescue was taking so long. If my message sender was from House Cerullis, I had no doubt that someone would catch them, long before they reached this place.
All this speculation told me was that I must once more rely only on myself, which left me with the conundrum of how I’d get out of this impenetrable cell, the one I’d already spent hours trying to escape from.
Hell. I’d be stuck here like I’d thought, helpless to stop the horrific violence that was soon to come. I wouldn’t have a chance to stop Korix from getting further involved in something that would get him killed, crushing my hopes for saving him before they’d taken a step toward realization.
Freezing in place, I dropped to my haunches with my arms thrown over my head. Damnit, what was I going to do? I couldn’t lose him. *What would I do?*
Something scraped outside the cell’s door, and in my startlement, instinct took over. I hurried to the wall beside the opening.
Maybe this commotion had originated in my potential rescuer, but it could equally be a House Cerullis member who’d come to feed me, providing an opportunity for escape. I’d be ready either way.
The door slid open, and pressing as far into the wall as I could, I waited for someone to step through it.
“Zaeden?”
That whispering voice. I knew it.
Spinning around the doorframe, I grabbed Leski’s shoulders—
*“What are you doing here?”*
—before pulling her to my chest.
After initially stiffening, Leski relaxed against me, returning my embrace, and I let myself bask in the fact that she was alive. After learning how deeply Korix had betrayed me, I hadn’t been sure if she’d escaped this facility, and until this moment, I hadn’t realized how much her safety had been weighing on me. If she’d died while helping me, I… I wouldn’t have been able to live with myself.
But here she was, alive and well. *How?*
Giddiness infected the emotionless state that I must maintain during missions, and thrusting her away from me, I ran my eyes over her.
“Why aren’t you far from here?” I asked.
Rolling her eyes, Leski said, “What? No ‘Thank you for saving me from an obvious trap. How great is your wisdom’ for me?”
She’d seen the trap before me. Her. An unHoused. Shit. How badly had I slipped up with this mission?
“Thank you, Leski,” I said. “Why are you here? You should be in a skycruiser, heading away from this place.”
“Yeah, I know,” Leski said, blowing hair out of her eyes. “I overwrote your processes on the skycruiser. Don’t worry! Ace will still reach those coordinates you set earlier. I just delayed your timer to give us some breathing room.”
Good to know. My dog’s safety had been buzzing about my brain at a slightly lower frequency than all my other worries, one more thing doing its damnedest to drag me into panic. But if she’d overwritten my processes…
“How good are you at process cracking?” I asked.
With a laugh, Leski waved a hand over our surroundings.
“Good enough to watch everything that happened to you. Also, I got a message into this place, which was more difficult than I expected.”
“The message was from *you?”* I squeaked.
Of course it had been. Why else would she be here?
Also, much as it made me cringe, I was glad she’d been watching me since we’d parted ways. It meant I wouldn’t have to catch her up on our situation.
“Duh,” Leski said in answer to my question. “Now, can we please get out of this hostile place, or must we continue standing here while I answer more inane questions?”
I was a little… no. I was a *lot* stunned by her right now. Did she know how impenetrable this cell was? I might have always been abysmal with anything process-related, but I doubted even Korix could have gotten a message out of this cell.
Korix.
“You’re more than welcome to get out of here if you like. I encourage it even,” I said, “but I have more work to do here before I can leave.”
“Like what?” Leski said. “From what I saw, we have everything we need to stop this… whatever it is. What else could you possibly need to do?”
Save someone I cared for more than all the lives in Lutov? I couldn’t tell her that, though.
“We know that Cerullis has something planned for the homeland, but what is it? When will they start their scheme? Where will it begin?” I said. “I’d like to have answers for those questions before making my report, assuming you’ve already alerted *shukusen* Talira to our situation, of course.”
Once she knew what was happening here, my grandmother would know exactly what I needed. If I looked for more information on Cerullis’ machinations while waiting for reinforcements, it should get me closer to Korix, and as long as my escape from this cell remained undetected, keeping Leski safe should be easy enough, which would have been my only concern about staying.
This was all assuming that we could avoid my *evushk,* of course. If we ran into him unprepared, we were both fucked.
Huffing, Leski said, “Yes, I sent a request for help. I’m not an idiot. How do you propose we answer your questions, though? I won’t hurt anyone, Zaeden.”
“Who said anything about hurting people?” I asked, genuinely puzzled.
Did she think violence would be my first answer to the problem we were facing here? That assumption was the most prevalent one in Lutov, but even still. I’d thought she knew me better than that.
“I suggest that we access this facility’s stacks,” I said, “like we were planning to do before the *Lokke Vitras* interrupted us.”
Leski blanched.
“So, it was really him? I wasn’t sure. That man’s presence here seemed so… unbelievable. I thought I might have been seeing things,” she said. “Hell. *He’s* turned against us?”
I couldn’t allow myself the panic she was displaying, couldn’t contemplate how I’d soon be opposing the enormous skill of my *evushk.*
“It doesn’t matter,” I said. “So long as my grandmother knows we need help, we should gather as much information as we can while we wait. Save our backup the trouble. Yes?”
“I suppose,” Leski reluctantly conceded.
“Excellent,” I said. “Then, if you don’t mind, I’d like out of this cell.”
Jumping, Leski stepped to the side, and I stalked into partial freedom, shivering on obtaining it.
“Stay behind me and as close as you can,” I said.
Uninhibited by a persona, finding a lift with access to the facility’s sub-levels didn’t take me long. We entered the stacks where the comforting whir of storecases surrounded us, and I headed for the closest station.
I didn’t need the connectors provided here. My *Lokke Vitras* privileges could give me access to this place’s data without them, but I didn’t want to seem out of the ordinary to Leski. Plus, a physical connection to the station would allow faster transfer of data.
After attaching pads to either side of my neck, I was inundated by the wealth of knowledge kept in this facility. Having read what privileges I held, this station and its storecases failed to hold anything back, and gaining so much information at once made my brain and array stutter. Fortunately, I had enough discipline to keep from groaning at the flood, gritting my teeth instead.
“This’ll take a while,” I said. “Can you get us more appropriate outfits while I’m working? There should be a changing room somewhere near here.”
“Sure,” Leski said.
As she departed, leaving me alone, I combed through my provided data with a small part of my attention ever paid to the feeds of the recorders around me. Doing that should give me a few seconds notice before someone barged into the stacks.
I monitored Leski’s progress as well, and as I watched, I was once more impressed. To this point, she’d shown an aptitude for House Kolb work, but seeing her cautiously slinking through enemy territory solidified her potential for me. If I could, I should cultivate this resource for my own use.
As soon as that thought had crossed my mind, I made a face. I wouldn’t judge someone’s value based solely on the skills that House Kolb treasured, and I most certainly shouldn’t be interested in… *collecting* someone, like a piece of art.
Shuddering, I set consideration of Leski aside for the moment, focusing on my newly gained data. I picked anything that might be useful from it, but separating the valuable from the mundane was difficult with so much information assaulting me.
After I’d made my selections, I started integrating them with my array, a process that would take a few minutes to finish. While it did that, I scanned the facility through its various recorders, hoping to find Korix or anything else that might help Leski and me.
So, I saw a House Cerullis member arrive at the cell that I’d recently occupied. I saw her enter it and recoil from its emptiness. I saw her send what must have been an alert after stepping back outside.
And I most definitely heard the alarms when they began blaring.
With integration complete, I yanked the connectors off my neck, ready to find Leski, but she’d already returned. She thrust a uniform at me before circling a block of storecases for privacy while changing. I could appreciate this as, for the first time in my life, I was self-conscious about taking my clothes off in front of someone.
I’d barely pulled the last piece of my uniform on when Leski barreled back toward me.
“Did you get what you needed?” she asked.
“Maybe,” I said. “I wasn’t particularly picky about what I stole.”
Humming, Leski said, “It’ll have to be good enough. Someone’s sure to check this place soon. We need to go.”
She had good instincts too. Damn, she’d make a good asset for House Kolb…
No. She was a *person,* not something to be acquired.
“Let’s get out of here,” I said.
We hurried to leave the stacks, but this goal was impeded by a House Cerullis member sliding to a stop in front of the exit, therefore blocking our path. Gasping, he hung off of the door frame, catching his breath, and for a moment, I thought he knew who we were. If he’d come to apprehend us, I’d have to hurt him, and I’d rather not do that, both because I didn’t like the idea of it and because I didn’t want Leski to see me subduing someone.
He only waved at us, though.
“Are you coming?” he said. “The Favored has commanded us to assemble.”
Leski and I exchanged a glance. I knew what she was thinking. We should get past this man and escape from the facility before he could raise another alarm, but he’d said the one thing that could keep me tethered here.
Favored. Meaning Korix.
If I could avoid it, I wouldn’t abandon someone I loved, no matter what the consequences might be.
“I’m right behind you,” I said. “Wyla needs to grab something first, but she’ll be along shortly too.”
Satisfied, the House Cerullis member took off, leaving me to face the most incredulous look I’d ever seen, blazing from Leski. I ignored it, following a stranger through a hostile location on the off-chance that my sentimentality worked out for me for once.
I didn’t expect Leski to come with me. I’d given her a way out on purpose, knowing that she could use the facility’s current chaos to escape from it. She’d snuck out once before, after all.
So, when she trailed behind me like a shadow, it spawned both terror and gratitude in me. Even inexperienced as she was, knowing she was at my back would keep me steady, and trust me. That was something I’d need over the next few hours.
***[TTS Chapter Fifty-Five](https://hischosenfuture.com/attachments/161)***
# Chapter 56: In the Enemy's Midst
On the facility’s main level, House Cerullis members were crowding the halls that had been empty not ten minutes ago, flocking to the call of their leader. Having so many hostiles around her clearly made Leski uncomfortable, given the number of sharp glances she directed at me, but I didn’t blame her for that. I hated this too.
She sidled up next to me, and in the nervous muttering bouncing around us, I almost didn’t hear her voice.
“What will we do if someone recognizes you?” she asked.
Shaking my head, I said, “They won’t. The only one I’m worried about is the *Lokke Vitras,* and so long as I stay back, he should be too preoccupied to notice me.”
Should. I was gambling that the blending skills he’d taught me over the years would overcome his ability to detect me, but what else was I supposed to do? Leave this place when I had a clear opportunity to help him? I didn’t think so.
“You’re sure no one will recognize you?” Leski hissed. “You have pretty distinctive features.”
Lifting an eyebrow, I said, “Distinctive good or distinctive bad?”
Flushing, Leski sputtered a bit, and I enjoyed the sight of it. Teasing her was fun.
*“Distinctive* distinctive,” she growled.
“Ok. I’ll give you that,” I said, “but I have operative training. When needed, I can make myself look innocuous.”
Crossing her arms, Leski stared at me for a few steps.
“When we get out of here, we need to talk about exactly who you are,” she said.
That wasn’t going to happen, but I displayed an agreeable smile anyway.
“So long as we focus on our surroundings for now,” I said.
With a snarl, Leski faced forward, chewing on her lip. We got another dozen paces before she spoke up again.
“Why are we doing this when we should be getting out of here?” she asked. “And don’t give me the bullshit answer of needing more information. If you didn’t get what you needed from the stacks, then I’m a child of Ibis, which means something else is driving you. What is it? I deserve to know why I’m risking my life.”
Almost, I flinched from the twinge that pinched me. I should be escorting her to safety, but I couldn’t stop my feet from moving toward Korix.
Rather than answering her, I asked, “How did you know I was headed into a trap?”
Leski hunched on herself with her lip chewing growing more violent.
“I don’t know. A feeling?” she said. “It seemed strange that the *Lokke Vitras,* if it truly was him, would send me away. Why divest of a valuable resource when in the middle of a highly dangerous mission? I know I’m unHoused, but the bastard had to see my value, considering I was standing with you, deep in enemy territory.
“But I wasn’t sure. He’s the fucking *Lokke Vitras.* There had to be another reason for what he did. So, once I’d gotten somewhere safe, I wrestled with the facility’s recorder system until it was mine to control. Kept finding loops in their feeds, which was your work, I presume. I traced them until they stopped inside of a warehouse and…
“I saw the House Cerullis members sneak up on you, saw you realize what was going on, saw the *Lokke Vitras* crush your wrist.”
When she glanced toward said body part, I pretended not to notice. I knew she must be curious about it, considering I’d been using it as if it had healed. It hadn’t. It was getting there but was still very broken.
Leski didn’t need to know that, though.
“Is that when you decided to help me?” I asked.
With a huff, Leski said, “I did more than help you. I saved your ass. And you still haven’t answered my question.”
“No, I haven’t,” I said.
She cast an annoyed glance my way, and rolling my eyes, I slowed down, angling us toward the edge of the people flowing around us. Once there, I stopped, laying a hand on her shoulder.
“You don’t have to risk your life by following me. I know you’re more than capable of escaping from this place on your own, especially with the facility in an uproar,” I said. “So, why are you here?”
Mother Time, I’d never seen such stubbornness flare at me before, and I’d subdued a lot of people who’d rather I’d have killed them than bring them in.
“I’ll answer yours once you’ve answered mine,” Leski snapped.
As my hand slipped off of her shoulder, I almost spoke my first direct lie to her. I’d subsisted on misdirection to this point, but she wasn’t having it anymore, and if I refused to answer her, I was worried that she’d become reckless, whether with helping me or because emotions might blind her while she escaped. So, I had to decide. Would I keep my resolution? Would I only speak the truth with this woman?
Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath, scouring budding distractions from me, and empty, I considered the situation from an entirely logical mindset. In this state, the answer seemed obvious, and when I opened my eyes, Leski recoiled from me, which should hurt.
But it didn’t.
“In all honesty, the only reason I’m still in this facility is sentimental in nature. Someone I…”
I couldn’t bring myself to say the word aloud.
“I have to rescue someone who’s trapped, although I’m not sure how much of a prisoner he is,” I said, “but that doesn’t matter. I’m getting him out regardless.”
“Oh,” Leski said.
Lowering her head, she played with her shirt’s hem.
“You love him?” she asked.
Silent, I stared at the top of her head until she glanced up at me and winced.
“Your turn,” I said.
Blowing out a breath, Leski nodded.
“I’ve seen the look you’re wearing before,” she said. “The person who wore it back then thought she was about to lose…”
Leski roughly shook her head.
“It doesn’t matter why she showed me a face to match yours,” she said. “I didn’t help her when she needed me, and in part because of my failure, she died. I’ll never make that mistake again.”
Guilt. How intimately did I know its strength as a motivator? It almost always made someone too volatile for a mission, which meant Leski couldn’t be here.
“I’m more than capable of protecting myself,” I said.
Crossing her arms, Leski turned her head aside.
“That’s what my mother thought too,” she said.
Her mother. Shit. Even if I sent her away, this woman would follow me. With that as a source of guilt, she’d never stop helping me until she thought I was safe.
Knowing this, should I turn my back on Korix, securing Leski before going after him? No matter how much it pained me, I couldn’t deny that the question made me want to laugh with only one answer to it possible.
“Do what you want,” I said. “I have to hurry if I’m to blend in with the crowd again.”
I brushed past Leski, but before taking two paces, I rounded on her, jabbing my finger into her chest.
“I’m not your mother,” I said.
Glancing at my finger, Leski sighed before meeting my eyes.
“I know, Zaeden,” she said.
“Good,” I said.
With nothing more, I strode after the House Cerullis members with poured stone flying beneath my feet. Once I’d merged into the crowd again, I pointedly ignored Leski. No matter how much I wanted to pick at the mystery of her, her story would have to wait until we were free of this place.
If we were headed somewhere Korix would be, I’d need my full faculties about me. A possible confrontation with the *Lokke Vitras* required nothing less.
As we funneled into the facility’s hangar, I guided Leski toward a group of crates, good cover for if we needed it. They also sat toward the back of the crowd, all of whom were facing a central landing pad.
On this, *shukusen* Alezand was standing with his arms crossed, glancing over his subordinates as they got settled. I skipped over him and his oddities to the shuttle behind him.
In the shadow of its tail, Korix was leaning a shoulder against its hull, but he seemed uninterested in the House Cerullis members in front of him, tapping a finger on his arm instead of watching them. He was just… staring into thin air, and only the occasional slide of his eyelids over vacant gray helped to interrupt the prickles running rampant over my skin. When on missions, he might be empty, but I’d never seen him like this.
Yanking my gaze away from him, I noticed something shifting in the shadows above his head, and as Alezand stepped forward, I had my array enhance my view of this anomaly.
“A prisoner, a potential *they* have Favored, has escaped,” he said. “He must be found before *they* turn their full attention on us.”
The crowd’s nervous muttering rose in volume, and while Alezand motioned for calm, I narrowed my eyes. The air above Korix’s head. Something was… in it.
“We don’t have time for panic,” Alezand shouted. “Please, listen, so we can begin our search.”
The gathered House Cerullis members gradually fell quiet, especially when Alezand waved toward the shuttle to draw his subordinates’ gazes that way. Even with so much attention paid to him, Korix never moved from his spot with his finger continuing its tap.
“Your target is one of the most well-trained and dangerous men in Lutov,” he said, “but fortunately for you, I know how he thinks. I doubt he’s left this… lovely facility, probably went to the stacks as soon as he escaped. Send a few people to the sub-levels to search for him, but he won’t be there anymore. No. Now, he’ll be combing this facility for… well. What he seeks isn’t your concern, even if his quest for it is inordinately stupid.”
*Ouch*.
“When you find him, shoot him,” Korix continued. “You should aim to wound, but if you have nothing but a kill shot, take it. He cannot be allowed to escape this place.”
He fell silent, all while I fought watering eyes. Mother Time, he’d told them to…
Fuck. Whether something was controlling him or not, that *hurt.*
“I’ve sent a description and image of your target to your arrays,” Alezand said. “Get out of here, and find our prisoner as quickly as possible.”
In the end, I blessed the shimmer in my vision. It gave me a vague outline of the thing hovering over Korix, even as its shape wavered and changed in the next moment. What *was* that? Why didn’t it seem… corporeal? Was I fighting ghosts?
Even silly as the desire was, I hoped something so strange was my enemy because if that was true, its attachment to Korix was another piece of evidence in my case that his actions weren’t his own.
As the House Cerullis members left the hangar, I tugged Leski along with me, following the flood of people until we reached a better hiding spot. I crouched in the shadows between a wall and another set of crates, further away from the enemy while maintaining a decent line of sight.
Beside me, Leski hissed, “What are you doing? Now that this meeting’s concluded, we can use their search to find the man you love.”
“We’re staying here,” I said. “Sub-vocals, Leski.”
Gritting her teeth, she complied.
“Why would we stay here? Unless…”
She glanced at the landing pad.
“Is it Alezand?” she asked. “Zaeden, I’m sorry, but he can’t be rescued. He’s the leader of this conspiracy, if only as a figurehead-”
I pressed a finger to her lips, even though they weren’t moving. The last House Cerullis members were filing out of the hangar, and I needed to give Leski her instructions.
“No matter what happens, you stay here,” I said, jabbing a finger toward the floor. “If you try to help me, I promise you. It’s more likely to get me killed than actually help, so don’t do it. I’ll need your help with the aftermath. Understand?”
When she nodded, I relaxed a fraction. I’d thought for sure that she’d protest.
“Hopefully, everything will go the way I want,” I continued, “but if it doesn’t, you keep quiet until you can escape, and you *go home.* Tell Talira that the instructions you sent her way were a trap. Let her know what happened here.”
“Will do,” Leski said.
Slumping, I said, “Thank you. Now, just-”
“Stay here. I know,” Leski said.
Smiling, I squeezed her shoulder before creeping to the edge of the crate. With the hangar emptied, only Korix and Alezand remained here, and I made a face. I needed the *shukusen* to leave before I could make my move because…
Mother Time. I was about to attack the *Lokke Vitras,* my *evushk,* my…
Hell. I was about to engage in a fight where I couldn’t hold anything back and my intent must always be to kill, and my opponent would be my partner.
I *hated* my life.
***[TTS Chapter Fifty-Six](https://hischosenfuture.com/attachments/162)***
# Chapter 57: Something's Not Right
*Shukusen* Alezand showed no sign of leaving, and cursing in my head, I settled in to wait. Obviously, one of the people on the landing pad wanted something from the other, and I was curious which was which.
“What else needs to be finished before we can start?” Korix asked.
“Several cells in charge of collection and harvest need to get into position, and we need the final delivery of firepower from Niklaus,” Alezand said. “Once those conditions are met, we can begin the cascade.”
Korix nodded with distant eyes, and shifting in place, Alezand bit his tongue before speaking again.
“If I may, Favored,” he said, “are the terms that we discussed still acceptable to them?”
Rousing, Korix turned a mild gaze on Alezand, but the *shukusen* flinched nonetheless.
“In the coming days, those who have cooperated will receive better treatment than the vast majority, yes,” Korix said. “When this is done, Cerullis will be the last House left standing.”
“And that doesn’t bother you?” Alezand asked. “From what I understand, you and Talira are close. When it comes time for her removal, will you hesitate?”
Her *removal?* They were planning to kill my grandmother?
Of course they were. She was one of the five people with the greatest cause to oppose this scheme.
A twinge spasmed across Korix’s face, and he closed his trembling hands into fists. Wait. I’d seen this before-
He relaxed with a chuckle rumbling from him.
“I can’t afford to hesitate, not with my once *evushk,”* he said. “If I did, she would slaughter me.”
“So… you’ll kill her without a problem,” Alezand said.
A grunt flew from Korix, and he hunched the smallest bit. His throat worked, but something stopped him from speaking.
I *had* seen this before. It had happened several times between when I’d first run into my *evushk* here and the moment when he’d put me in a cell.
Straightening, Korix flashed a sloppy smile at Alezand.
“Yes, *shukusen,* I will,” he said.
“Good,” Alezand said. “She’s the only one I’m worried about now that Zaeden’s ours.”
“Do *not* underestimate him,” Korix said. “That man is more dangerous than all of House Kolb’s Second Strata combined. If you don’t take him seriously, you will die.”
He had such confidence in me. Was that why he’d looked so relieved when asking me to stop him?
“Are you sure you’re not overestimating him? Given that he’s Talira’s grandson, you could have a soft spot for him,” Alezand said. “If circumstances require it, can you overcome your attachment to him? Can you end his life?”
A shudder rattled Korix violently enough that he stumbled away from the shuttle’s hull. Clasping his knees, he gasped, lifting a fiery gaze to Alezand.
“I… will… never-” he croaked.
\[*Leave us.*\]
Rooted in place, I watched through frozen eyes as Alezand bowed to the shadows beneath the shuttle’s wing, where I’d seen something hovering before. What the fuck had that been? It had sounded like a voice. Maybe.
But when I tried to remember what I’d heard, it slipped through my mental grasp. What sort of tech did that? Who the hell was I fighting?
Why was I not more pleased to learn that something real lay behind the outline that I’d seen, something besides my mind looking for proof that Korix hadn’t betrayed me?
When someone wrapped their fingers in my shirt, I glanced back at Leski. Her eyes had ballooned with a twitch having started in her cheek, and her breathing was coming far too short and often. She jerked her head toward the exit that Alezand was disappearing through, but I shook mine, reaching behind me to squeeze her hand. Her lips went thin, but I didn’t observe more of her disapproval as the… voice?
Yes. Voice.
As it spoke again.
\[*Why do you resist us? You are Favored.*\]
Panting, Korix pushed off of his knees, swaying in place as he stared at nothing.
“You… could never understand,” he said. “For how much… you manipulate them, emotions just aren’t within your capacity to comprehend.”
\[*Is our displeasure not enough to make you reject this Zaeden?*\]
At this, Korix clenched his jaw, and his face grew steadily ruddier while veins popped in his neck.
\[*Speak!*\]
Wincing, I pressed my hands over my ears—the voice’s booming command had rung so strongly in them—but I let myself have this reaction. Listening to the voice made my brain push against its containing bone, setting a dull throb loose in my skull, and this ache had only worsened as its volume had increased.
“NO!”
This roar, while not one to produce pain, jerked my head out of its hang. I’d never heard Korix like this: in distress but defiant. All for me.
Oh, my beautiful partner.
For a time, all I heard was Korix’s ragged panting, and all I wanted was to rush forward and stand with him against his enemy, but I couldn’t. I didn’t know who or- or *what* this voice was, but I knew that it could subsume a person’s will beneath its own. I wouldn’t willingly surrender myself to it, not when I was the only thing keeping Lutov safe from the damage that the *Lokke Vitras* alone could cause.
So, I waited and hoped that I could find an opening, a time when I could steal Korix away from this place with none the wiser. Including *them.*
\[*Interesting. We didn’t expect such emotional variety and resilience from you. No matter, though. The cause can be dealt with.*\]
Stiffening, Korix said, “Dealt… with?”
\[*Yes. Come here, Favored. Now.*\]
“N-!”
While his jaw locked, Korix jerked taut before toppling to the floor with a crack. His body spasmed to an unheard beat, almost like a seizure, but I knew that wasn’t right, not with my array giving me a perfect view of his face. He hadn’t gone absent like someone having an epileptic fit would. His bright eyes were too focused, and I tasted blood from where I’d almost chewed a hole in my cheek.
Going limp, he feebly tried to reach his hands and knees, but after getting halfway there, he only flopped to the ground again. I would have surged to him, taking him somewhere safe, if Leski hadn’t wrapped her arms around my chest right then. Her cheek was wet where she’d it pressed into my back.
\[*Come here, or we will give worse to your Zaeden before his end.*\]
It was like Korix hadn’t heard the voice. He lay motionless while the lump of him rose and fell with each breath, and I was silently screaming for him to do what the voice had said, even as I pulled Leski off of me. I couldn’t watch him in the grip of such pain again.
From where he was sprawled, Korix said, “Leave him alone, and I’ll stop fighting you.”
…What? Had he seriously just made that offer? Until his end, my Korix would serve House Kolb and Lutov above all else, and surrendering himself for me was the opposite of keeping the homeland safe. What was he thinking?
Unless…
Was he entrusting the duty that he’d upheld for his whole life to me? Did he expect me to stop him?
Of course he did. He’d practically begged me to do it.
\[*Your terms accepted, Favored. A pact formed between—*\] a garbled mess of sound \[*—and you upon reassertion of control.*\]
“And we all know how seriously you lot take pacts,” Korix grumbled.
With a pained grunt, he reached his knees.
“May I have a moment or-?”
\[*Now.*\]
Sighing, Korix said, “That’s what I thought.”
He crawled beneath the shuttle’s wing, sitting on his heels once there.
Spreading his arms, he said, “Anytime now.”
Should I let this happen? *Could* I?
With a slow breath in and out, I shoved emotion below the surface for the hundredth time today. Whatever this voice was, taking control of Korix again would probably distract it. I’d strike then, and this awful series of events would end.
A wavering outline floated to a stop above Korix. Before he could blink or brace, it funneled into a thin line, and this flowed like a hazy strand of sand into his nose.
This was it. I needed to go now. I tensed to spring-
And Korix screamed.
I nearly fell on my face with my heart painfully skipping a beat. Korix never cried out like that. Not when he was irritated. Now when we were intimate. Certainly not due to pain. I’d seen him get burned so badly that his flesh had bubbled with only a slight grunt in response.
His scream wrapped around my mind with threads of it permeating all of me, and it didn’t matter that this sound meant I could finally help him. I couldn’t move, not with rust coating my every joint and a sedative infused in the core of every muscle.
When he fell silent, I could only blink while he got off the floor, stretching his arms and rolling his wrists as if testing them. Like something or someone else was wearing his body.
*Bastard.*
Leski again kept me from leaping out of cover.
“What are you doing?” she said in sub-vocals. “You can’t confront the *Lokke Vitras.”*
“I have to save him,” I said, tugging on her hold.
With a small gasp, Leski recoiled from me.
*“He’s* the one you love?” she said. “What-? How is that possible?”
“Zaeden…”
That sing-song voice cut through Leski’s sputter, and we both went still.
“Where are you?” Korix called. “I know you’re here. How long have you been watching?”
Shit. I’d lost the element of surprise, if I’d ever actually had it.
“I have to fight him now,” I said. “If he knows I’m here, he’ll never let us leave peacefully."
“How can you-?” Leski started.
I placed my palm over her mouth.
“Stay here. Remember?” I said.
With her eyes pinched, she nodded, and I crept toward the crate’s edge once again.
“Come out, *kuvesk,”* Korix called. “Let’s have a showdown, you and I.”
That, I could oblige. Slowly exhaling, I stepped into conflict.
# Chapter 58: Well, I'm About to Die 1
I didn’t rush him. I wasn’t an idiot. If I did that, he’d just shoot me from the landing pad.
No, I had to sneak closer before I engaged, praying all the while that I could surprise him. I seriously doubted that would happen, but one could always dream.
“What are you doing, *kuvesk?”* Korix crooned. “Are you planning on sneaking up on me? That’s what I’d do.”
Every time this… *thing* called me its student, I had to control a shudder, even with my emotional blockade in place. It was *wrong,* and if I weren’t so detached right now, I’d probably reveal myself somehow. At least he wasn’t calling me-
“Zae, this is silly,” Korix called. “I trained you. I know all your tricks. You should come out and let me knock you senseless. I won’t leave you in a cell for much longer. I promise.”
I couldn’t pay attention to him. He was trying to rip control away from him, and it was working.
As I focused, his voice faded into the background, and I could consider the options laid before me. I’d gotten nearly ninety degrees around the landing pad Korix was standing on, leaving another one opposite me. I could try a noiseless sprint to the shuttle sitting there, or I could continue with this circle, getting further behind him. I didn’t like the idea of giving him more time, though. Plus, I had no guarantee that he’d stay where I’d last seen him.
Examining calculations in my array, I threw myself into the open. Only a few meters lay between me and my goal, and I was across them in a handful of heartbeats with my footfalls nearly silent, despite my speed. Thank Mother Time that my array’s full faculties had been returned to me.
Plastering against the shuttle’s hull, I listened, but Korix had fallen silent, which was concerning. Slowly, I eased down the aircraft to where I could see the shuttle shielding my target. When I glanced at the other landing pad, however, no one was standing on it. With my target vanished, I requested my rifle’s formation, only to have it denied.
The hell? I’d thought that something in my cell had been blocking my array. If it was another thing entirely, though, what-?
“Relying solely on yourself is inconvenient, isn’t it?”
That question had come from above me.
Dropping, I rolled beneath the shuttle’s lifted nose as boots clomped where I’d just been standing. He knew where I was, had probably known the entire time, and I didn’t have a damn weapon on me, too hurried until now to look for one besides my rifle. I’d been relying on my tech again. What a gigantic mistake.
As soon as I was on my feet, I was off to the end of the shuttle’s nose. Now that he’d announced himself, Korix wouldn’t try anything fancy. He’d take the straightest path to me, one that also wouldn’t put him at risk.
Soon, he’d round the shuttle, and I had to reach that spot first so I could force him into close combat. It was the only way I stood a chance now. My sole weapon was me while he probably had a host of them available, both ranged and melee.
Korix flashed past me at House Kolb speed, but somehow, I caught hold of his arm. I didn’t keep it for long—didn’t want mine ripped out of its socket—but it was enough to keep him in my immediate vicinity.
He used his sudden stop to his advantage, twisting to kick at my knee. With my own burst of speed, I moved out of range before jabbing my fingers at his eyes. Knocking the strike aside, Korix threw a fist at my temple, probably hoping to adle me, but I caught it on my wrist.
The broken one.
Grunting, I barely maintained my block, but my distraction let him plant a foot in my stomach and shove me away.
Fuck, I couldn’t breathe!
Stumbling, I corrected my balance as quickly as possible, fully expecting to find a rifle in my face, but Korix had maintained his position. He’d magicked a knife into his hand, tumbling it through his fingers.
When my lungs would allow it, I gasped, “You’re playing with me.”
His knife’s hilt slapped into his palm before he pointed the blade at me.
“You may be nearing the end of your training, *kuvesk,* but I—”
The knife flashed as Korix spun it to face him.
“—have decades of experience on you. You can’t win. Give in.”
“Not going to happen,” I growled. “I don’t care what sort of deal you’ve struck with them. I know what you want. I *will* stop you, Ko.”
And I dove for him. I ignored the knife, chopping at his neck while I slammed my foot on his toes. Something I’d said must have stolen his focus because I felt something give way beneath my heel, but even with that, Korix slapped my hand away, which was fine. The other one, in a fist, was flying for his nose.
Before it could connect, Korix responded. Ducking, he lashed out with his knife, sending ribbons of numbness spreading across my chest. Superficial cuts.
As he rose, however, the knife’s arc stopped, switching to a downward thrust at my face. I couldn’t dodge it, too invested in my current strike as I was, so I did the only thing I could.
Aiming for his wrist, I missed, curling my fingers around the knife’s blade instead. Sharpened steel dug into my bone, fileting my palm, and my poor, abused wrist nearly buckled as I stopped the swipe. The knife’s point tickled my eye, ripping miniscule lacerations across my cornea, but with this blow, Korix had opened himself up.
Ignoring alerts and a ruined hand, screaming in protest, I slapped my palm against the inside of his elbow and twirled him in front of me. I jerked his arm up his back, twisting until the knife fell out of his loose fingers, and shoving him away from me, I ran the fuck away, clutching my hand to my chest once I’d extracted my prize.
I had a weapon.
Energy bolts chased my dash to the hangar’s crates, and I wove between them. I’d almost reached cover when something punched through my back while light burst in front of me. Before I could deaden my nerves’ receptors, debilitating pain took me in body and mind, but I managed to transform my resulting topple into a roll behind the crates. Thank Mother Time for well-practiced reflexes.
I didn’t have long before Korix would come after me, but slumped against plastic, I couldn’t move. My wheezing gasps weren’t giving me enough oxygen, and oh, I might be sick. Dizzy and with hurt howling through me, I forced myself to my hands and knees, reading alerts as I crawled deeper into the maze of crates.
Obviously, at least one of Korix’s bolts had hit me. The question was what it had damaged as it had passed through my body, and glancing over what my array had presented, I winced. One of my kidneys, my diaphragm, and my liver. No wonder I felt like I was about to drop dead.
None of these injuries were immediately life-threatening, though. I could still fight, if only for a short time.
As pain faded to nothing, I hauled myself to my feet, grimacing. Half a minute into this fight and I’d already sustained too many injuries. Given that, how could I expect to win? At least if I died here, Leski would bring news to-
Leski. As I swiveled my head to examine my surroundings, something like panic took root in my emotionless state. She was hiding nearby. I was bringing Korix right to her.
“Shit,” I mumbled.
In a stumbling run, I put distance between me and her, heading for a break in the crates up ahead. Despite the danger it would put me in, I needed to get into the open, drawing Korix to the other side of the hangar. The thing inside of him couldn’t have Leski too.
A mass of black dropped between me and the opening while a glinting dagger chopped at my neck. I raised my knife, and the dagger’s glance along it gave me enough support to make an unsteady retreat.
The coldness in Korix’s eyes was back. He dispassionately watched as I slipped and nearly fell in a bloody handprint that I’d left behind.
“Unlike you humans, the- the-”
Korix made a face.
“The *Ancients,* as you lot call us, honor our pacts. Because of that, we cannot kill you,” he said, “but we will do what we must to preserve the plan. Our people require no less. We would rather not hurt you until your frail, solid body succumbs to the state that your people call sleep. Please, surrender.”
Was this… was Korix’s captor talking to me? Was it… not human?
How was that possible? With those from beyond the stars gone, nothing alien populated our planet. Not anymore.
“Let my *evushk* go and agree to talk peaceably with us, and I’ll consider surrendering,” I said. “Otherwise, you can fuck off.”
Korix’s face twisted.
“Why are humans always so volatilely unreasonable?” he said. “Oh, well. What happens next will be your choice,
The mocking in that last word…
But then, Korix was flying at me with a dagger, and consideration of my enemy’s nature was wiped from my mind.
I refused to think about how dangerous knife fights were, even as I missed an opportunity to disarm Korix in our first exchange. He overextended in his stab, but my fuzzy brain was only occupied with avoiding further damage, so I didn’t see it until it was too late. Even given that bad start, I laid a deep cut into Korix’s retreating arm. It was nothing deadly, but it would annoy him.
As he readied to attack again, I failed to make my own strike, darting around him. I wouldn’t last long in these conditions, needed to reach an environment more conducive to my survival. Maybe I could find a rifle in a weapons crate, if I could reach one-
A fist impacted my chest, which emptied my lungs. Off-center, I lurched toward Korix, blocking his dagger, and this gave me the momentum needed to stay on my feet.
As soon as I’d recovered, however, a pistol’s barrel was leveled at my face. I didn’t register what it was until House Kolb speed had assisted me in jerking the weapon above my head, and the heat of an energy bolt seared my scalp.
Tiny knife against a dagger *and* a pistol? Hell. I needed to-
Something rocked me to the side, and I took a risk, glancing toward the impact site. The primal part of my brain shrieked at what I saw.
Korix’s dagger was embedded in me below the ribs, and my body had slurped the blade inside, burying it almost twelve centimeters into my chest.
Rather than twist it to further damage my organs, Korix cleanly removed the dagger with a sheet of blood following it, and almost, *almost* shock froze my solid. Almost, my incredulity that my partner would do something like this got me killed.
Instead, I dropped one hand from my hold on his wrist, swinging for his face, but this time, the blow connected. Korix lurched backward, and I used this incapacitation to get around him.
Only then did I press a hand to my side, letting the blood on my palm mix with the slick spill of it found there. As I took off in a run, my skin parted, exposing bits of innards to free air, and I was so damn grateful that my mind had yet to acknowledge the pain of this. It wouldn’t matter how many receptors I dulled; the flare of this damage would burn through them with the injury demanding to be heard.
I needed rapid regeneration drugs. Now.
Using House Kolb speed, I sprinted in an uneven gait toward the hangar’s entrance. Maybe I could lead Korix in a merry chase to a clinic of some-
The heat of an energy bolt tore through my thigh, and with everything else hobbling me, my legs gave out. I went down, rolling and tumbling.
# Chapter 59: Well, I'm About to Die 2
A mishmash of rotating colors abruptly halted with my head smacking into plastic, and my vision further blurred, jerking without permission across the ceiling. A high-pitched buzz took up residence in my ears, and I was having a hard time parsing why a flashing box with words in it was obscuring the shadow standing over me.
A muffled voice pierced through the world’s ringing—
“We really should kill you.”
—and as a fuzzy shape took on a crisp edge, I smiled at a man. He was pointing something shiny at me, but the sight of him made me feel good. Why?
The man went rigid before dropping to the ground with another person replacing him. When I raised my head to follow the scene, a dull ache throbbed inside my skull, nearly felling me, and after it had faded, I thought I might be sick, but there was the man again, and a woman was crouching over him, pressing a box with a sparking end to the base of his skull, and he flopped and spasmed on the floor with his gray eyes bulging.
Why? Why-?
I was screaming at the woman. Why?
She rushed to hover over me with her face pinched. Why?
“What do you need?” she frantically asked. “How do I help you, Zaeden?”
Was that my name?
The woman- woman… I knew her. I did! Leski. Yes. Leski had asked me something. Something important. Something about fixing what was wrong with me.
Was something wrong with me?
Leski bore down on my side, and it hurt! Mother. fucking. Time, it *hurt!*
A horrible noise boomed in the air around me. What was that? I needed to help!
Leski clamped a hand over my mouth, which silenced the racket.
Oh. It had been me. I shouldn’t be making noise. Right? That was why she was- was putting her smooth skin on my lips… mm. I liked that.
“RRDs” Leski said before focusing on me. “Do you need rapid regeneration drugs?”
Those sounded nice. Where to get them, though?
Leski swayed back while a sob hiccupped in the air, and I spied the man lying behind her. At the sight of him, a chill shot through me.
Why? Did I know him? Considering how much warmth and anxiety had spawned on seeing that slackened face. I had to.
What was his name. I had to know-
“Korix,” I mumbled.
Leski jerked her head toward me, and I remembered her question. Somehow.
*“Evushk.* He’ll… have… drugs… on him,” I sleepily said.
With a gasp, Leski scampered on her hands and knees to Korix’s side, roughly searching him. I wished she’d be gentler with him but I-
So weak. The back of my head slammed down, which made the fuzzy word boxes, floating in front of me, gain clarity. Like a story before bed, I read them, although the rate of my blinking slowed down as I did. Still, I fought to keep my eyes open. Sleep sounded like a bad idea.
This was what my bedtime tale said:
A wrist further fractured. A hand slashed all to hell. A scratched cornea. Holes through multiple organs and my leg. A gaping laceration in my side. Moderate head trauma. Severe blood loss.
“Ko will be pissed with me,” I mumbled.
Pinpricks dotted my arms and neck, and the woman… Leski sat beside me, taking my hand.
“I should have made you leave,” she said. “I shouldn’t have let you fight the *Lokke Vitras.* Who could be worth enduring damage like this?”
Wasn’t the answer to that question obvious?
“He is,” I said.
Maybe she bit her lip at that. I thought it might be so, but I was too focused on fighting off sleep’s siren call to notice. She and I danced with one another, much like I had with another woman not long ago. We twirled and twisted until we were twined one to the other, and with a cackle, she tried to tug me into her depths, but I wrestled against her hold. Slowly, I gained the strength to turn my attention to the real world, even if threads of exhaustion were still hanging from me.
Sitting up, I took a sip of air. Fuck. Even over the years of my hellish training, I’d never been so thoroughly thrashed. My body had been pierced and battered so badly that even rapid regeneration drugs were struggling to repair it.
To be fair, the drugs that Leski had given me were probably the shitty hypos of it that Korix brought with him on missions-
Korix!
A burst of energy manifested from nowhere, suffusing me for the brief seconds that it took to reach my partner. When his artery leapt against my finger, I slumped on him for a moment with a ragged gasp my only concession to the tears in my eyes.
His heat… the smell of him… these called for me to sleep more loudly than what had tempted me before, but I forced myself upright, searching his body. I pulled his weapons free, tossing most of them into a faraway pile, although I snagged a few for myself.
When I found his sedatives and restraints, I used both on him. If I was remembering this right, Leski had shocked Korix into unconsciousness, which should keep him under for a few more minutes, but I’d rather not fight him again, not when our first round had caused so much damage.
So, he got a significant dose of sedatives, although I retained a few hypos for our coming trip. As for the restraints, I hooked him into them, using the most intricate pattern I knew. He’d still get free of them within a minute, but that was a minute I could use to my advantage.
With Korix relatively secured, I looked for Leski. I’d noted her absence on gaining limited mobility but thought it best to neutralize the threat before figuring out where she’d gone.
Getting to my feet was hell with the hangar spinning once the task was done, but after taking a few steps into its open floor, I spotted a familiar woman, hanging out the door to scan the hall beyond. We *had* made a lot of noise. She’d been wise to check for enemies.
When I sent her a short message, Leski jerked upright before glancing over her shoulder. A squeak flew from her when she saw me, and after she started sprinting my way, I returned to Korix’s side. By the time she’d joined me, I had my elbows hooked under his arms, dragging him step by painful step toward the closest landing pad.
Leski stopped short with color draining from her cheeks.
“What are you doing?” she snapped.
Rolling my eyes, I panted, “Getting the *Lokke Vitras* into a shuttle for transport. What does it look like I’m doing?”
Using a shuttle would mean leaving a borrowed skycruiser behind, and while I hated entrusting Ace to my processes, I knew they’d fly him to Feena soon. They had to because there was no way in hell I could reach my dog right now, not in my current condition. Not with Korix in tow. Not even if Leski helped me.
Which she did *not* look willing to do.
“Are you insane?” she hissed. “Not only is that man the worst traitor Lutov’s ever seen, but he nearly killed you! Leave him, and once we’re clear of this place, have *shukusen* Talira glass it. It seems like a fitting punishment.”
Uh…
“Glassings don’t work that way. Except in Ostiu, I guess,” I said. “Authorizing one is a lengthy process.”
The only reason Alezand had been able to glass Korix’s estate was because his House controlled the satellites that caused those disasters.
“Why such vehemence for the *Lokke Vitras?”* I asked. “It seems… out of character for you.”
She’d been nothing but compassionate with me.
“What I’ve listed isn’t enough?”
Leski’s face had contorted into a monster mask, and seeing it, I knew more had to lie behind her rage than what she’d claimed. I didn’t have time to learn what it was right now, though.
“I need him alive. He can give us more answers, especially with this… Ancient—whatever that is—controlling him,” I said. “Will you please help me get him into a shuttle?”
Stepping closer, Leski poked my forehead, pushing hard enough that my head snapped back, and with a soft groan, I almost lost my grip on Korix. *Hell,* that had made me nauseous.
“What is it with you and learning everything you can about a problem?” she snapped. “We know enough, Zaeden. It’s time to take action-”
“I *am* taking action!”
My roar echoed in the hangar, and on its fading note, both of us were left taut as bowstrings.
“I am,” I repeated as silence fell. “I’m taking a shuttle, flying it to Xygek, and bringing everything that we’ve learned to *shukusen* Talira. She’s best equipped to know what we should do next. But I’m not leaving him. There is nothing in this world that can convince me to do that, so will you *please* lend me a hand? I’d like to get us in the air before the RRDs in my bloodstream taper off.”
Leski drew her lips into a thin line while crossing her arms.
“Answer me one question,” she said. “Is he the reason you barreled headlong into danger? Is he the one you love?”
I didn’t know how she’d concluded this. I’d never confirmed her conjecture, so why would she believe that love was driving me? Did my actions speak that loudly?
Lowering my head, I gazed down the length of Korix’s slackened form, and I wanted to smack myself for how I’d been behaving. House Kolb training should have had me far away from this place hours ago. If he were awake, Korix would be lecturing me about my failure to do so, but here I stood, holding him and about to collapse.
Was this my way of resisting captivity? Korix had encouraged me to do that as part of my birthday gift. Did I strive for my freedom by helping the ones I loved? Were they how I fought?
Leski cleared her throat with her foot tapping, and sighing, I slumped.
“This is important, Leski,” I said before meeting her gaze. “I don’t love this man. I can *never* love this man because if I did, it would make me compromised, and House Kolb can’t have that.
“So, it doesn’t matter that I breathe easier when he’s near me. It doesn’t matter that I’d go down, kicking and screaming, for him. I don’t love the *Lokke Vitras,* and that is what Lutov must always believe. Do you understand me?”
I couldn’t define the expression Leski was showing me. It was almost wistful, but disappointment lingered there as well. I didn’t know what to make of it, which meant I didn’t know how I might need to respond, and this put me on edge.
She, however, merely nodded before hesitantly gathering Korix’s legs. When she touched him, something shivered over her, something I didn’t understand, but then, I was much too preoccupied with getting us onto the shuttle to care.
Even without his weapons, Korix was heavy, and given my flagging strength and Leski’s short stature, it took us several bursts of movement to reach the shuttle. Once we were inside, Leski dropped her hold, striding toward the aircraft’s console, and I struggled to get Korix strapped into a seat before limping to join her.
Black bars had started edging into my view of the world, and everything was spinning. Rapid regeneration drugs were failing, leaving me nowhere near fully healed, but they’d done enough to get me to the capital alive, which was all I’d needed from them.
Still, I tripped over something while heading for the console, nearly faceplanting on its surface. Hanging from it, I input coordinates before crawling to a seat, clambering into it, and retrieving sedative hypos to rest on my leg. Hopefully, Leski would know what to do with them.
I kept fumbling with the seat’s harness. Its buckles had turned oil-slicked in my hands, and clicking her tongue, Leski removed hers, crouching in front of me as we rose into the air. Stealing pesky straps out of my hands, she looked at me with a frown and a crease between her eyebrows.
“Who are you, Zaeden?” she asked.
A laugh bucked my body in my seat, plunging me into the black for a split second.
“I can’t. Not now,” I said. “Ask me again in Xygek.”
I *thought* Leski replied to me, but what she’d said was reduced to mush, much like I was to the world. Sleep, that sinuous siren, claimed her newest victim with glee, and I eagerly welcomed her embrace.
# Chapter 60: A Heavy-Handed Boss
*Shukusen* Talira was glaring at me like I’d offended her highest sensibilities. I stood perfectly still in front of her with one arm crossed behind my back while supporting myself on an IV pole with the other, and all the while, I ignored what was floating beside me.
“Reckless. Irresponsible. *Sentimental,”* Talira said. “For Mother Time’s sake, it’s like you’ve learned nothing since rescuing Feena, all those years ago.”
I held my tongue, refusing to unleash the snarky responses dancing on it. They wouldn’t be appropriate right now, only getting me in trouble.
“As the *shukusen* says,” I said instead.
Something whipped my head to the side, leaving my cheek stinging, but after what I’d recently undergone, getting slapped like this was nothing. It did, however, almost knock me over, and the IV pole I was clinging to wobbled in place. As I straightened, I made a face at the orange-tinted liquid in its bag. I hated the more potent versions of rapid regeneration drugs. They left me woozy for days.
“Don’t do that,” Talira said, rubbing her hand. “Don’t become like your *evushk.* It’s bad enough that I’m losing him to his fight with-”
With a small gasp, she looked away.
“I can’t have two of my heirs failing on me before I retire.”
Cocking my head, I said, “You don’t want to follow a protocol?”
“No,” Talira said with a wince. “That’s always been *his* thing, his way of resisting what’s eating him alive.”
She turned to the side, forcing me to acknowledge something that I wished had never existed. A long, amber capsule of viscous material was hanging in the center of the room with plastic tubes snaking from holes in the floor to the man inside of it.
Korix looked strange in a hospital gown, frozen halfway through a breath. I didn’t like this view of him, so helpless and seemingly trapped, but it was for the best. He could easily escape from any form of imprisonment besides stasis.
Still, putting him in a stasis field made my guts twist while a sense of *wrong* brushed along the inside of my skin. It was reserved only for the severely wounded and the worst of criminals, murderers whose acts made even the highest Strata in House Kolb shudder. Korix shouldn’t be in one.
But I couldn’t focus on him.
“If you don’t want to follow protocol, grandmother, then I have a question,” I said, watching her from the corner of my eye. “What the fuck are we going to do? I don’t know what these Ancients are, but considering that they’ve subverted a House and played a part in Lutov’s ancient war, I’m a little lost as to how we can oppose them.”
“We take it one step at a time,” Talira said.
She faced me with a blank expression in place.
“First, we decide what to do with your *evushk.”*
I seized up. When I turned to Talira, it was like I was moving through putty, and the room’s hum went quiet.
“I assume you already have an idea for that?” I said.
Nodding, Talira reached inside her coat, withdrawing my worst fear from it. Flipping the pistol so that its grip faced my way, she offered it to me.
“The current *Lokke Vitras* has failed in the one aspect that’s most critical to his role: loyalty to Lutov,” she said. “It doesn’t matter if someone is or was controlling him during his moments of treachery. He betrayed the homeland and therefore, can no longer keep it safe. Considering what he can do, we have only one course of action available to us. We eliminate him and elevate his replacement.”
I couldn’t lift my eyes off of the weapon that she’d presented to me.
With my voice filtering to me through a tube, I said, “What is it you’re asking me to do, *shukusen?”*
Talira shook the pistol.
“Kill the *Lokke Vitras,* and by doing so, kill this version of yourself,” she said.
A wail rose in me—*noIcan’tnotagainnotaftereverything*—and from outside of my body, I watched myself swallow and reach for the pistol.
“As you command.”
The weight in my hand fought to drag me into the planet’s fiery core, but I resisted it, manipulating marionette legs and a disobedient IV pole until I was standing beside the peak of the amber capsule. Korix looked so peaceful in it, and all of me screeched to throw the pistol at Talira’s face before getting him out of there. Together, we could stand against her, right?
But not only was that desire unfeasible but I knew what my grandmother was doing. Probably.
So instead, I leveled the pistol at Korix, barely controlling my hand’s tremor. If I squeezed this trigger, the bolt it unleashed would fly fast enough to rip through his brain before the stasis field interfered. Another loved one murdered by me.
My finger tightened.
“Stop!” Talira shouted.
Thank Mother Time. I’d been right.
Even still, the world froze around me. A vacuum took hold of the room, sucking sound and air into the void, and while my chest vibrated, I couldn’t hear myself speak.
*“Shukusen?”*
She came through clear as a bell.
“I’m sorry, Zae-zae. Your actions in the House Cerullis facility seemed… excessive,” she said. “I know you have certain inclinations, ones that aren’t conducive to the *Lokke Vitras* role. I trained those same desires out of your *evushk* when he was my *kuvesk,* but I wasn’t sure if he’d done the same with you. I had to make sure nothing lay between you. From what you’ve shown me here, nothing does.”
I didn’t know how I kept from turning the pistol on Talira, but I left it pointed at Korix as hot air hissed between my teeth.
She’d done *what* to him?
Fuck it. I knew what I’d told Leski, and hiding this relationship from Lutov as a whole, I could do, but I was sick of concealing this from someone who should have noticed it years ago.
And *damn* the consequences.
“I’m happy to have proven myself to you,” I said, “but if I may?”
Furrowing her brow, Talira nodded.
“Thank you,” I continued. “I’d like to know why it matters if I’ve developed an attachment to evushk, especially of the type you’re suggesting. One of the reasons he’s having so much trouble with his role is because for decades, he’s had no one else who can relate to him beside you, and let’s be honest. You’re too busy to deal with someone else’s needs, especially someone like him who’d require so much attention.
“So, tell me. What’s the harm in the *Lokke Vitras* having a confidant, whether secret or not, whose support might lengthen their stay in the role. What’s the harm in said confidant helping them? What’s the harm in him loving me?”
Everything about Talira screamed tension, and I knew that I was teetering on a tightwire. One wrong move and my life would become a nightmare again, so I said nothing. Did nothing. Waited.
Licking her lips, Talira said, “And vice versa?”
When I nodded, she gritted her teeth, drawing her shoulders together.
“In your proposed scenario, where do these individuals’ loyalties lie?” she said. “With Lutov or one another?”
After giving the pistol a significant glance, I said, “You already know the answer to your question.”
Even if I didn’t. I was sincerely not sure what I’d do if Talira ordered me to kill Korix.
She didn’t need to know that, though.
“Then…”
Rubbing her face, Talira released an explosive sigh.
“Then, stop aiming that pistol at him,” she said. “Return it to me.”
Lowering my arm, I traveled the few steps between us in a fog, but it was different from before. I was revisited by the exhaustion that I’d fought on arriving in Xygek, one that had deepened while getting hustled to the hospital in the depths of headquarters.
Hours had passed since then. I should be dead to the world by now, but the adrenaline burst I’d artificially triggered, to my medic’s dismay, should keep fatigue at bay for a while yet. My weariness now was coming from something else entirely: the release of great strain.
When I relinquished the pistol to her, Talira captured my wrist, moving faster than I’d thought possible without House Kolb speed.
“We will discuss this later,” she said. “I haven’t decided what I think about your suggestion, but your *evushk* doesn’t deserve to die over this foolishness.”
Foolishness.
I knew that a subset of Lutovish society wouldn’t approve of my lifestyle choices, especially the having multiple partners bit, but they would never stop me from living as I liked, just as they wouldn’t show me the depth of their judgment. Was Talira one of the people who thought polyamory and my lack of sexual preferences were unnatural, or did ‘foolishness’ merely apply to the *Lokke Vitras* making a significant connection?
I refused to believe the first option was true.
“Understood,” I said. “May we now return to the threat in our midst?”
Releasing me, Talira said, “Yes. The Ancients.”
Clasping an elbow, she chewed on her lip while her eyes went distant.
“Unfortunately, I can’t add more to what you already know,” she said. “When I query for information on them, it returns as-”
“Restricted, I know,” I said. “It’s restricted, even to you?”
Talira shook her head.
“But what’s hidden behind that last security layer isn’t much,” she said, “merely that *they* were integral in the war with those from beyond the stars. That the first Lokke Vitras and her Favored soldiers worked for *them.* That *they’re* not… human.”
Both of us shivered at this idea, pretending not to notice it in the other one.
“One report mentioned that books about the Ancients didn’t make the transfer from print to digital,” Talira continued. “We might learn more there.”
“So… The Library,” I said. “You’re sending me there?”
I kept myself blank while Talira considered.
Save for those that the high Strata owned, The Library was Lutov’s last bastion of physical books, similar in protection to the Preserve. So far as the average citizen was aware, however, it didn’t exist, and the information it contained was granted through a chain of proxies in each House. Considering The Library’s books had become brittle and easily damaged over the centuries, this precaution made sense in a way, even if it also smacked of knowledge suppression.
I’d wanted to visit The Library since I’d learned about it a few years ago, so it didn’t matter that this proposed trip would only involve research, which wasn’t my favorite activity. I would jump on the given opportunity. It would make a nice change after the last few days.
Even holding to perfect nonchalance as I was, Talira must see some sign of my eagerness because she gave me an indulgent grin.
“Yes, Zae-zae, I’m sending you to The Library,” she said. “You should be receiving its coordinates now.”
I’d already opened her message to scan it. The coordinates seemed familiar, but I didn’t bother with going through my mental index for where I’d seen them before. I’d remember once I headed that way. I was more concerned with a question of practicality.
“Can I share this information with anyone else?” I asked.
“As you see fit, yes. I have people going through the information that you brought with you from the Cerullis facility. Why shouldn’t you do the same on this front?” Talira said. “Please, be careful with who you choose to help, though.”
“I will,” I said.
I had only one person in mind for the job, but then, I doubted I’d need more than him.
“While you’re doing research, I’ll *cautiously* inform the other Houses of the situation. Hopefully, Cerullis is the only one the Ancients have breached,” Talira said. “I’ll also work on breaking your *evushk* free of his conditioning. I have a pretty good idea of where to start with that.”
I was a rabbit caught in a predator’s gaze. If I did more than breathe, I was afraid of what would happen.
Given our situation, I hadn’t thought that Korix would be a priority. Until this crisis had eventually concluded, I’d resigned myself to worrying about him, but apparently, Talira disagreed with my assessment.
She eyed me with her lips curled.
“We need all hands on deck, grandson,” she said. “Your *evushk* is my most powerful *phansha* piece. I need him to wake up, shake off what’s seized him, and join the fight.”
“I’m sure he’ll be happy to do that,” I said.
“Oh, I know he will, otherwise, I’ll never let him forget how badly he’s fucked this up,” Talira said with a chuckle. “Now, you, Zae. I have one more task for you.”
Of course she did.
“I’m at your service,” I said.
Snorting, Talira coughed into a fist.
“If I’ve learned anything during your time as the *Lokke Vitras* to come, it’s that you *serve* few people,” she said. “You’ll do as you’re told, but you only serve the people you love with your heart and spark of soul. In other words, you’ll make a difficult heir for me to handle.”
I… didn’t know what to say to that. Was it a compliment or an insult?
Shaking her head, Talira said, “Your task. The girl you brought with you to the capital? You’re to act as her guardian until we’ve resolved this crisis. Having her with us will put a check on Niklaus. If we’re lucky, it might even have him switching sides. Besides, she seems clever. I may have a use for her before this emergency’s over.”
Slowly, I folded one arm in front of me, making a fist around the IV pole. The boil that had sprung to life in my stomach required movement, and I was fighting for it to be anything other than leaping for Talira’s throat. I wasn’t sure why I wanted to attack her, considering I’d had similar ideas about Leski’s usefulness in the House Cerullis facility, but it didn’t change the fact that I was… angry right now.
“Please tell me she doesn’t know she’s a hostage,” I said, surprised when it didn’t emerge as a hiss.
“No, she doesn’t seem like someone who’d find that idea intimidating,” Talira said. “It’s your job to explain why she’s staying with you.”
“Great…”
My answering smile was tight.
“I’ll handle Leski,” I said. “What about Cerullis? How are we preparing for their attack?”
“I have the lower Strata dealing with them,” Talira said. “Honestly, I’m not worried about it. Now that you’ve alerted our House to the threat, Cerullis can’t sneak anything past us.”
I didn’t think she understood how desperate those people were, but she was Kolb’s *shukusen* for a reason. I’d have to trust her judgment.
“In that case, is there anything else?” I asked. “Or may I begin my research?”
“There isn’t, and you may not,” Talira snapped. “You’ve given me many a near heart attack over the last eleven years, but seeing you tumble out of that shuttle, unable to stay on your feet, was the worst of them, Zae. Go home. Rest. I’ll keep Lutov safe for tonight. In the morning, you can return to saving us all. Oh. And remember to take that Leski girl with you.”
Leski, the overly inquisitive woman who would probably keep me up all night with questions.
“I will,” I said.
“Then…”
Breathing out slowly, Talira came forward to wrap me in her arms, careful not to jostle my IV. Staying quiet, she just held me, and I struggled to keep my body loose.
Talira was family, and I knew she’d never hurt me, not in a situation like this at least, but she’d sent Korix and me on too many harrowing missions for me to be comfortable in her embrace anymore. When she relented, stepping back, a part of me breathed a sigh of relief.
Standing tall, Talira donned the role of *shukusen* once more.
“You’re dismissed, my acting *Lokke Vitras,”* she said.
I blinked. Acting *Lokke Vitras?* What did that mean-?
Talira jerked her head toward the door, and wincing, I shuffled to it. Before leaving, I glanced at an amber capsule with my heart in my throat, and when I continued outside, it wrenched free of my chest to remain in the room left behind.
I had my orders. Watch Leski. Rest. Research. I’d get to them in that order, but first, I needed to stop by the hospital so I could have this drip of rapid regeneration drugs removed. I couldn’t imagine what wandering through Xygek with one attached to me would be like.
# Chapter 61: Getting Home
I was so tired.
While this shuttle sped through the city, the light of the setting sun splashed over me in intervals from between the towers. The warmth of it felt nice, adding to the lulling sensation of riding in a vehicle, and I could barely resist it.
This was what happened when I was seriously injured. It was a type of exhaustion that was a hundred times more difficult to ignore than a lack of sleep and a thousand times more annoying. At least I’d had enough practice with the latter to pretend it didn’t exist. Not so with what I was fighting now.
One thing kept me awake every time I slid into the edge of dreams, and it was a potent repellant. Leski’s glare bored into my skull no matter how often I shifted positions, all while my danger sense from her wavered in intensity, if not volume.
I knew she had questions. Who wouldn’t after the last… two days? Yes, two days.
After the time we’d spent together, she must have them, but she was smart enough to keep from asking them here, where the varied people of Xygek surrounded us, or in the room where I’d retrieved her. I wondered if she’d considered isolating the room’s recorders so she could force an interrogation from me before we’d left. I was tired enough that I might have let her do it.
While the shuttle approached a stop on the middle tiers, I stood, hearing a gasp behind me, and without needing to look, I knew Leski’s eyes were bulging. I did, however, use the vehicle’s recorders to make sure that she followed me.
As we waded through the evening traffic of low Strata heading home, Leski drew in on herself, and I couldn’t tell if her discomfort came from the type of people around us or their vast number. Stratus discrimination was extraordinarily rare across Lutov, but it did exist, mostly among high Strata who isolated themselves from greater society. I didn’t know how often Niklaus kept his daughter on his estate, so she might fit into those categories. On the other hand, if she wasn’t in the city much, she might just find the crowds unnerving.
Regardless, I was grateful for her unease. It forced me to take a slower pace, something I couldn’t typically afford to do here. Even still, I desperately needed it.
As I approached the apartment, I donned a cheery smile, forcing a spring into steps that wanted to drag. Occasionally, I waved at people, getting mostly cautious nods in return. Some of them gave me enthusiastic greetings, though, and a few even called out.
“Evening, Clarx!”
Spinning around, I walked backward while grinning at the woman who’d just spoken.
“A good evening to you too, Raielyn.”
I’d brought Raielyn in five years ago during House Vaessa’s smuggling incident, but despite that, she good-naturedly stuck her tongue out at me before going about her business. The decisions she’d made in Ibis had gotten her stripped of House, but because I’d spoken for them, the *shukusenth* had allowed her and her companions to stay in Xygek rather than getting sent to the Eastern Reaches. After she’d been quartered near Korix’s apartment, we’d become friendly, to a point, and she’d even consulted with me about how to form a committee that would advocate for the children of Ibis’ rights.
I had similar stories for many of this tier’s residents. The *Lokke Vitras* was tasked with safeguarding Lutov, *all* of Lutov. By keeping a finger on the pulse of the homeland’s most lowly citizens, I hoped to improve their lives. If I helped them, ensuring that their needs and wants were met, I kept myself from getting a mission, one that would unleash more trouble on these people.
I only wanted to make their lives easier. Where I could, of course.
After crossing a plasma bridge to a residential tower, foot traffic dropped to nothing, and Leski loosened her body from its hunched state, glancing about with interest. There wasn’t much to look at: a couple of trees, a small patch of greenery, and a narrow walkway with air traffic speeding beside it. One door lay on this side of the building, but another, the one for the hangar, engulfed the other half of it, carefully camouflaged to look like a continuation of the tower’s wall.
As we approached, I slowed down, furrowing my brow. Since I’d last been here, Korix had added new security processes to guard the apartment, and I was having trouble with them. Even given my terrible process cracking skills, though, I defeated them quickly enough that Leski didn’t notice how much I’d been struggling. I didn’t think.
When we reached the door, it slid open, and I automatically raised my hand, catching a grenade before the string attached to it could pull its pin. Beside me, Leski stumbled backward with a gasp, and raising an eyebrow, I watched her calm down while freeing the grenade.
“It releases suppression gas,” I said, lifting the weapon. “Why would we demolish a part of our home when a non-destructive option would work just as well?”
I threw the grenade, underhanded, at her, and after making a precise catch, she froze. Laughing at the expression on her face, I beckoned her forward.
“Come inside.”
While she decided whether to do as I’d asked, I cleared the entryway of other traps. At some point, I’d have to decide which of them to use while a guest was staying here, but making that choice wouldn’t be difficult. Neither would securing the rest of the apartment for Leski now.
Or it wouldn’t be difficult if the effects of rapid regeneration drugs didn’t have me continually running into walls. I was lucky that I’d kept it together until we’d reached the apartment. By the time I’d finished with my task, the world was swaying, and I stumbled like a drunkard toward the kitchen.
Leski was there, having come inside not long ago. Damn, she’d tripped so many alarms while wandering around the apartment, but I supposed I should have expected that.
When I crashed into the kitchen, slamming my weight on a counter, she was running a finger across the stove with a frown, but she said nothing as I retrieved a glass, filling it with water.
“I’d offer you a drink, but *evushk* doesn’t allow alcohol in his home. Mother Time, I could use a whiskey sour,” I said. “Feel free to have as much water as you like, though.”
Turning toward the table, I winced on spying the dog bed in the corner. Ace. Damn, what a heart twinge that gave me. Best not to stay here.
“Come with me,” I said.
Grazing my fingers along a wall, I led the way, checking my messages as I did. The flood I’d half-feared to find didn’t appear, which meant Talira must have buried how Cerullis had glassed Korix’s estate, thank Mother Time. My family wouldn’t have worried about me since then.
Well. Feena might have. I had two messages from her.
*Zae, Ace just showed up at my apartment,* the first one read. *Are you ok?*
The second one had come in a few hours after that one.
*Answer my message, little brother,* it read. *I swear to Mother Time, if you don’t have an excellent explanation for what’s going on, I’ll flay you alive myself.*
I restrained my chuckle at this, even if I couldn’t stop my smile. That was my sister all right.
*I’m fine. Ran into some trouble but I’m dealing with it,* I wrote back. *Will you hold onto Ace for a couple of days? I’d be ever grateful.*
Then, I turned to the message that I should have sent when leaving House Kolb’s headquarters. Hell, if fatigue wasn’t tripping me up. Talira had been right to send me home.
*Phen, if you have time, I could use your help with something,* I wrote. *Meet me at the attached coordinates tomorrow morning, and I’ll explain.*
Did I have any other pressing tasks to finish before tomorrow? I was probably forgetting something, but if I was, I didn’t have the brainpower to remember it right now.
Entering the apartment’s sitting room, I wove to my usual chair in the corner, ignoring the one beside it. Instead, I focused on the view outside of a windowed wall, one that surrounded a third of the room. With the sun having finished its descent since our arrival, city lights spilled around the curtains that hung at even intervals along its length.
A holodrama plate took up most of the room’s floor. Korix wasn’t fond of holodramas, but we did have a few that we watched together. Several other chairs and one sofa surrounded the plate, there for when Talira or other *shukusenth* visited us in person.
A few lighting fixtures, bundles of colored glass surrounding free-floating orbs, hung from the ceiling, but besides these decorations, this room followed the stark style of Korix’s estate. Or it had before the place had been destroyed.
As I sank into the chair’s cushioning, I started a playlist. The classical music of Kyllen, a sadly singing composition of strings and brass, opened the set. More traditional pieces would follow it, those attributed to Maliva and Calrix, but this song was my favorite. Many had been the evening when I’d listened to it on repeat after an especially difficult mission. The melancholy that brimmed from its minor key had never failed to soothe the ache in my spark of a soul.
When Leski made to sit in the chair beside me, I shot an arm out over it.
“No,” I said. “I’ll get you another one.”
Hauling myself out of newly discovered relaxation, I grabbed a chair, dragging it to face mine with difficulty. I collapsed when I sat, which had the back of my chair slapping the wall, while Leski sank into her seat. She held herself perfectly still there, gripping her knees while keeping her shoulders drawn together.
Watching her, I wondered how long it would take for her to get started. Weighing that against the difficulty I was having with keeping my eyelids from drooping, I pulled my legs up under me, preparing another artificial adrenaline burst. I’d rather not use a second one, but if needed, I’d trigger the command for it.
Folding my hands in my lap, I said, “You have questions?”
With a nod, Leski swallowed.
“I requested an identity check on you while waiting in Kolb’s headquarters,” she said. “From what I saw, you should be dead.”
Smirking, I said, “That wasn’t a question.”
Leski shook her head slowly, as if dragging it through sap.
“You have no House. You’ve somehow pissed *shukusen* Alezand off enough that he wants you dead. You fought the *Lokke Vitras* and not only survived that but made a good showing during it. You know him, call him *evushk.* Teacher,” she said. “Who are you, Zaeden?”
Sighing, I leaned back into leather.
“You want to start there?” I asked. “Not with why I showed up on your doorstep in the first place or what had made me seek refuge there?”
Leski stiffened her fingers, digging them into her skin.
“Who. are. you?” she hissed.
“Fine,” I said.
Maybe this interrogation would be shorter than I’d expected. That could be good, getting me into bed much sooner than I’d thought but… but…
Easing forward, I dropped my feet to the floor before leaning my elbows on my thighs.
“Leski. You have an amazing mind,” I said. “Don’t you already know the answer to your question?”
A shiver cascaded over her.
“I need to hear you say it,” she said.
Hiding my face in my hands, I rubbed my eyes. I hadn’t wanted her to know this. I’d liked being a simple mystery to her because once she learned this truth, she’d turn reverent or fearful. When people had found out about me in the past, there had never been anything in between. No one besides Korix and my family saw me behind what I was.
“Please,” I said. “I don’t-”
This was stupid. I should just say it, get it out.
“I’m-”
“Zaeden. You’re Zaeden.”
Even exhausted as I was, the jolt of my name on her tongue jerked my head out of my hands, and my breathing went shallow. Tensed as hell, Leski gave me a crooked smile.
“No matter what else you are, the core of you is Zaeden, a man I’ve come to know well over the last two days,” she said. “I rather like him.”
Her smile twitched while she flexed her fingers.
“All I’m asking is to know more about you,” she continued. “If you can tell me. If you want to share.”
I… Mother Time, she…
She was stunning. How had I not seen it? She was what I needed, a dose of everyone I was called to protect. And she wanted to see me, all of me. So, that was what I gave her.
“I’m a murderer. I’ve killed mothers, sons, and husbands. I put a bolt through the head of a man I loved. I am stained beyond redemption,” I said, “but I’ve saved lives too, every chance I get. I’ve kept the homeland safe so the average citizen can sleep without the nightmares that plague me.
“I am the *Lokke Vitras* to come, set to replace him when he deems me ready. Judge me as you will.”
And I handed the floor to her, but she looked… confused, which confused me in turn. There was no adoration or terror in her so… where was the disgust that I should see in their place?
“Why would I judge-?” she said, as if to herself.
With her face setting into hard lines, she glared at me. That was more what I’d expected.
“Once this is over, I’ll never see you again, will I?” she asked.
Deflating, I shrugged.
“Probably not.”
It had been nice while it had lasted.
“Then, I hope you’ll forgive me,” Leski said. “I know I don’t fit your tastes. I know this is *wrong,* but I have to-”
She bit her lip while I frowned. Fit… my tastes? What did *that* have to do with-?
Jumping to her feet, Leski leapt on top of me, pinning my legs while digging her elbows into my shoulders. She was attacking me? That was…
Unfortunately, this situation wasn’t new to me, even if it was unexpected now. How did I get her off of me without hurting-?
Pressing herself against me, Leski ducked, crashing her lips onto mine so hard that my chair rocked, and I froze. Didn’t fit my tastes. Her kissing me.
Oh.
# Chapter 62: That Took an Unexpected Turn
I barely stopped myself from laughing into Leski’s mouth. How had I gotten myself into such a strange situation? Flirt that I was, people usually knew how flexible I was in my preferences and tastes within an hour or so. Under normal circumstances, Leski would never have questioned whether I’d be opposed to her kissing me.
Was I any better, though? Seeing her tension as fear. Denying my own attraction to her, even as it had grown. Not realizing that she returned it. When was the last time that had happened? I blamed horrid circumstances and a fatigue-dulled mind for my complete moron of a moment.
But… but she was *kissing* me. I should probably-
Right as I was prepared to enjoy that kiss, Leski pulled away, climbing off of me with her chin tucked to her chest, and I snatched her wrist before she could get any further away.
“Where do you think you’re going?” I said. “You wouldn’t do something like that, just to leave me wanting more, would you?
Her wide eyes met mine.
“You’re not…?” Leski asked.
“Gay?”
I could see where she might have gotten that idea but…
“No. Well, yes, but also no. I-”
Clicking my tongue, I pulled her closer, resting my hands on her hips when she stopped in between my knees.
“I’ve never cared about gender or what parts a person has. I’m attracted to the *person,* although good looks certainly help,” I said. “All I want is to make them happy in every way possible. So.”
It took far too much effort to get to my feet, but I managed it, tilting Leski’s face toward me once I was there. I took a moment to simply enjoy the sight of her before lowering myself to her level.
With our lips a breath from touching, I asked, “Leski, unHoused. Am I right in thinking that you want me?”
After blinking rapidly for several seconds, Leski almost spoke before pausing.
“What about-?” she started before biting her lip.
She was holding something back. What was the matter? Did something about this feel wrong to her? Had I upset her or… Mother Time forbid, had I been wrong about what she was looking for?
I didn’t know why she was hesitating, but whatever had caused that reaction, it was a sign to back off. With a sigh, I started to pull away, but Leski placed a hand on the back of my head.
“It doesn’t matter,” she said.
Rising to her toes, she crossed the distance to me. I didn’t know why it surprised me when her lips met mine. Perhaps it was because I hadn’t been able to read her since… since I’d met her, actually. She baffled me.
As if aware that my thoughts were distracting me, Leski pressed her face into mine while her hold on my head turned firm, and I was reminded of similar things I’d done to Korix when he wouldn’t respond to me. Shit. I was turning into him.
With a hand on the small of her back, I pulled Leski to me, but before my snarled thoughts could release me to an instinctual dance, she drew back, placing a hand on my chest. Panting slightly, she licked her lips and met my eyes.
“I want you, Zaeden. I really, really do. I’ve been wanting to try all of… this—”
She waved an unsteady hand up and down my body.
“—since you kept up with me at the Founder’s Day Ball.”
Lifting an eyebrow, I drawled, “But…?
Huffing, Leski flipped a strand of hair out of her eyes.
“But you left a hospital just a few hours ago!” she said. “I don’t want to mess with your recovery.”
Mess… with… my recovery. I didn’t understand. Yes, I was still sore from my fight with Korix, but what did that have to do with anything? I’d dealt with worse than this while participating in *far* more vigorous activities than sex before.
Leski must have seen the confusion on my face. Gently, she prodded the bandage still covering my chest, below my ribs, and I was both tired and knocked off-balance enough to hiss, hunching away from her fingers.
When she gave me a significant glance, I hesitantly smiled at her.
“You shouldn’t worry about that. I can handle it,” I said. “Besides, I was about to trigger an adrenaline burst. That should help with burying the-”
Leski jerked away from me, although she still stayed close.
“You were planning on using an adrenaline burst for *sex?”* she shouted.
Wincing, I rubbed my ear.
“Originally, it was for if your questioning ran long, but… yes, if things continued the way they were going, I would have triggered it,” I said. “It’s fine. I’ve only used two today.”
*“Two?* What the-? Are you-?” Leski said before clutching her head with one hand and flinging the other toward me. “Do you want to die? Adrenaline bursts are dangerous!”
…Why was she getting so upset about this? People used adrenaline bursts all the time.
“They’re only dangerous if used excessively. I never go over five in twenty-four hours and definitely never sustain them for longer than the recommended time,” I said with a shrug. “They help on missions that require lengthy stakeouts.”
Gasping, Leski mouthed ‘five’ a few times before shaking herself.
“Well, *ok.* I understand what you’re trying to say,” she said, “but did you think about what I might want when it comes to… this?”
She waved between us.
“I want you, yes, but I also want you to enjoy yourself just as much as I intend to. How can you do that if you’re fighting off exhaustion and pain from the absolute *thrashing* you got today? I just… no, Zaeden. I won’t do that to you, not even if you’re ok with it.”
She’d… made a good point. I hadn’t thought about whether my physical condition might affect her in a negative way. It was an interesting thought. I’d have to consider it and whether I should apply the idea to other, similar situations.
But in the meantime…
As my lips slowly rose into a smirk, I crossed my arms.
“So, you’re saying you want to wait until I’m feeling better, which is *so* nice of you,” I said. “Does that mean I get to practice my seduction techniques on you until then? That could be… fun.”
Choking, Leski started turning a bit red before I relaxed with a soft laugh.
“I wouldn’t be that mean,” I said. “I appreciate how considerate you’re being, truly. And if you want me to heal, I’d love to get started on that as soon as possible. So, let’s try something else, yes? I’d like to take a shower before bed, get all this filth off. Would you help me with that? Not in a sexual way. More, I don’t know if I can finish the task without falling asleep.”
At that, Leski turned even more red, swallowing hard, but she soon nodded.
“I think that’s a good idea,” she said.
Gently, I took her hand, raising it so I could kiss her knuckles before reversing my grip to clutch it tight.
“Thank you,” I said.
I didn’t wait for her to reply, leading the way to a washroom instead. Throughout the length of my shower, Leski was quiet, leaning against the vanity’s counter while she traced my every move through the glass between us.
I didn’t know what to do with that. It felt nice, sure—since when had I found another person’s avid attention anything but gratifying?—but as had become a theme with Leski, I didn’t know what she was thinking. I tried not to focus too hard on that, letting myself believe that only desire had her occasionally sucking in a gasp.
Soon enough, I was done and clean, and *Mother Time,* I’d needed that. It felt like I’d finally released today’s stress, if only a little.
Again, Leski made no comment while I got dressed and showed her to a spare bedroom, but after glancing inside, she hugged herself.
“Can I… sleep with you?” she asked. “Please.”
“Um.”
The idea of granting that request made me a little wary. I hadn’t determined what had disrupted my sleeping pattern at Niklaus’ estate, although I had my theories, and unknowns like that bothered me.
Tonight, however, I’d need to sleep long and deep. Plus, I had nothing time-sensitive facing me in the morning, merely a day of research. If I overslept, it wouldn’t hurt anything, and I could always set an alarm to make sure I woke up at a reasonable hour.
“Why not?” I said.
Once we were in my room, Leski hopped onto my bed, and I started my nightly routine. I could feel her stare burning into my back, but I wouldn’t let it stop me from finishing my task. If I didn’t make myself secure before bed, the only way I’d sleep was if I started a dream sequence, and I’d rather not do that.
“Are those traps?” Leski asked when I reached the door.
“Among other safety measures,” I said. “Are you ready for bed?”
With her brow furrowing, Leski hesitantly nodded, and I returned to what I’d been doing.
“Good. The door’s alarmed for the night, so if you need to leave the room, wake me up,” I said. “I’ll let you out.”
Finished, I shuffled to bed with a yawn and slipped beneath the sheets. Everything was catching up with me, making a hard crash imminent. When my head hit the pillow, I almost tripped into sleep’s embrace, but Leski shifted beside me.
“You truly are the *Lokke Vitras* to come,” she said.
“That’s right,” I said, batting a swell of irritation down. “Get comfortable, please.”
Turning off the lights, I huddled beneath the sheets, thinking that the day was finally over, but Leski slid to my back, pressing herself against me, and I stiffened. Draping an arm around my waist, she walked her fingers over my every recent site of injury before slumping. Hugging me to her, she breathed me in.
“Goodnight, Zae,” she said into my back.
And I was frozen. What did I do? Could I enter sleep, an already vulnerable state, in such a weakened position?
She shifted against me, and for some reason, that reminded me of my unHoused days, when I’d slept like this more often than not.
Nothing had ever hurt me then, and I remembered how nice having someone against me throughout the night had felt.
It took a minute with every instinct screaming denial, but I relaxed, backing into Leski. She made a contented noise, and I closed my eyes.
# Chapter 63: Aren't Coincidences Fun?
When my alarm dragged me to wakefulness, I groggily silenced it, struggling to remember where I was or why someone’s arm was hanging over me.
Someone’s arm…
With a sharp inhale, I stopped myself from any sudden movement, and all the while, every glow-infused moment from last night trickled into my brain. That wasn’t a stranger pressed against my back. It was Leski.
Holy hell, I had no memory of falling asleep last night. I’d closed my eyes and entered dreamland, which had never happened to me before, but… I rather liked it.
As noiselessly as I could, I rolled toward Leski, biting my lip to keep from laughing once I’d faced her. Her mouth was half-open with a wet spot on the pillow beneath it, and an unguarded look had taken hold of her face. Even with this, a furious kernel of warmth burned in my chest at the sight of her, and biting my lip, I brushed an errant strand of hair behind her ear.
What were we now? Partners? We weren’t well enough acquainted to call each other that, I didn’t think, but I wanted to know her more.
So, were we dating? Saying that felt strange when I was supposed to act as her guardian now. Although… in essence, that simply meant I was keeping an eye on her and nothing more.
I’d consider the question as the day progressed. For now, however, I had somewhere to be, somewhere I’d dreamed of visiting for years.
When I rolled out of bed, my body reminded me of how much it hated me. Wincing, I pressed a hand to my side, even as I caught my woozy stumble on the nightstand.
Fuck rapid regeneration drugs. Fuck the circumstances that had made Korix hurt me this badly.
Taking a shaky breath, I straightened, doing my best not to stumble as I shuffled out of my room. After a quick shower, I was out the door, leaving a note for Leski about where I’d be and when I expected to be back.
It was early enough that Xygek’s walkways weren’t too crowded, so I didn’t use one of Korix’s skycruisers for the trip, even if that would have been better for the healing process. When in the city, I’d always enjoyed using public transportation over a private vehicle. It was slower but much less isolating. The high Stratus kid in me would always see visiting the city as a chance to mingle with the diverse people of Lutov.
On my long shuttle ride, I checked whether Pheniks had replied to my message from last night. I found nothing, but that was typical for him. He had trouble with replying to messages, especially when he needed to confirm a meeting.
Feena’s silence was more concerning. For a moment, I toyed with the idea that *shukusen* Alezand or a House Cerullis member had gone after my sister. Should I check on her?
No. Feena was more than capable of handling herself. She didn’t need my concern.
After disembarking from the shuttle, I wandered to a quaint café a few platforms over. Stepping inside, I scanned tables until I found Pheniks and chuckled under my breath.
All of him was jittery, including his foot, jumping beneath the table, and his fork, tapping on its surface. Occasionally, he waved at nothing, probably working through his array.
I was glad he’d come.
When I slid into the chair opposite him, a menu flashed into my array, and I made my selections from it, smirking at my brother’s glower.
“It’s good to see you, Phen,” I said. “Have you already eaten?”
“I have. An hour ago,” Pheniks snapped. “Why am I here? This better not be a prank.”
Wincing, I said, “Sorry. I didn’t mean to make you wait. I was sleeping off some potent RRDs.”
Closing the menu, I folded my hands on the table, cocking my head at my brother’s sudden stillness.
“Are you ok?” he asked.
Oh. Duh.
“I am now,” I said with a crooked grin.
“Good, I suppose,” he said. “Mind telling me why I’m here? I hope it’s something quick. I need to get back to headquarters. Someone’s sure to have noticed my absence by now.”
“Don’t worry about that. Our grandmother will smooth things over with Arion,” I said. “This won’t affect your bid for Zan’s First Stratus position. In fact, it might help you.”
Pheniks’ frantic motion slowed down a little.
“How so?” he asked.
“Hang on. Let me have a bite first,” I said.
A drone floated my breakfast in front of me, and I happily hummed as I spooned scrambled eggs into my mouth, followed by a sip of bitter caf. Lowering the mug to the table, I cracked my knuckles.
“Ok. Short answer to your question? I need your help. The long answer requires an explanation,” I said. “Do you remember how something interrupted your House naming ceremony years ago? Yeah, that was my fault. Sorry.”
I continued with the story, censoring it when required and pausing for brief food breaks. I knew I had Pheniks hooked when he leaned on the table with an avid gleam in his eyes, but I didn’t stop once he was mine. He’d need every detail if he was to help. The tale took close to an hour to complete, and when I fell silent, Pheniks turned inward.
“Intelligent beings other than humans on our planet,” he said to himself.
I let him process for a few minutes before shifting.
“Will you help me?” I quietly asked.
Jerking free of his thoughts, Pheniks gave me a funny look.
“Zae, I’d have helped if you’d needed me to—I don’t know—fight some rebels or something, and you know how much I hate fighting. Why wouldn’t I help with this?” he said. “I had to make sure that your request wouldn’t hurt my House first.”
I… hadn’t considered the fact that my brother was a member of Zan when contacting him. It had never crossed my mind.
“I wouldn’t ask you to betray your House,” I said. “I’m only interested in the safety of Lutov as a whole.”
The individual Houses, including Kolb, could go fuck themselves.
Shrugging, Pheniks said, “I didn’t think you would, but for years, we’ve had limited contact. I know it’s the best you can do, but… I had to be safe, ok?”
“Fair enough,” I said. “Thanks for coming when I needed you.”
“No problem.”
Grinning, Pheniks lunged forward to slap the tabletop.
“So. The Library,” he said. “Where is it?”
“I don’t know,” I said, motioning for the nearby drones to start their cleanup, “but I have directions to it, so let’s find out together, shall we?”
We left the café at a run, but as we came closer to the site of my provided coordinates, I slowed down. Pheniks threw repeated, concerned glances at me, and the jostling of the people around us got steadily rougher, but when I saw where my array was taking me, I stopped short while my mouth went dry. I knew why these coordinates had seemed familiar yesterday.
“Is something the matter?” Pheniks asked.
“No,” I faintly said. “I haven’t been here in a while, is all.”
Shoving through the crowd, I entered the bar in front of us with my guts clenching on themselves. As the door slid shut behind us, the patrons inside stared, but I hardly noticed, focusing my attention on a table near the back. I did note when Pheniks started shifting in place, though. In answer to it, I met the calculating gazes facing us and said.
“He’s with me.”
Our entrance together should have made that obvious, but these weren’t the type of people who made assumptions.
Quiet as a mouse, Pheniks followed me with his shoulders nearly touching his ears. When I stopped at the bar, a tumbler slid down it toward me. A whiskey sour. She’d remembered.
“Hello, Rane,” I said.
The hollowness of my voice dragged Pheniks out of his nervous huddle while a frown deepened on his face.
“Hello, Zaeden.”
Rane looked good, not that I should have expected anything less. Five years might have come and gone since I’d last visited her establishment, but a span like that was nothing in Lutov.
Placing a drink on the bar top, she glanced significantly at the one I was holding, and I lifted it with numb fingers.
“To all those lost,” Rane belted out.
In the bar’s quiet, the toast had been deafening, and at it, glasses clinked behind me while voices repeated her words. I mirrored the rate of Rane’s lifted tumbler to her mouth, taking a sip from mine before resting it on the bar top’s tile.
“I’m sorry about Fyester,” she said.
Sucking in a breath, I looked away while blinking at the sudden burn in my eyes. How did she know about that? Also, would the reminder of him always hurt this badly?
“So emotive for someone in your position. Why aren’t you in mission mode?”
Whipping my head to Rane, I narrowed my eyes at her. Did she know?
“Should I be right now?” I asked.
Raising an eyebrow, Rane said, “Shouldn’t you always be?”
“My opinion on that should be obvious,” I said. “Are you my contact?
If she knew who I was, I didn’t want to draw attention to it or examine what that meant for our previous interactions. I couldn’t let her distract me, especially not with a debate over how the *Lokke Vitras* or their replacement should behave.
Rane crossed her arms.
“Contact for what?” she asked.
Why was she being difficult with this? I didn’t see the point.
Sighing, I said, “You *know* what. Don’t make me speak it out loud, in front of all these people.”
I’d rather not kill anyone today, and I got the feeling that the secrecy of The Library’s location played a part in keeping Lutov safe. Given that, I didn’t want to gamble on the *shukusenth’s* reaction to people overhearing this conversation.
…Maybe they’d just have the memory of it erased from those people’s arrays. Yes, that seemed much more likely, if still unideal. Hell, I needed to stop jumping to the worst conclusions about things.
“What about him?”
Rane jerked her head toward Pheniks, who was watching our conversation with curiosity.
“He’s here to help me,” I said. “Do you have a problem with that?”
With a half-smile, Rane shook her head.
“Talira shared the situation. I know you have special dispensation to share this secret as you see fit,” she said. “All right. Follow me.”
She led us deeper into the bar, toward where I’d gotten thoroughly drunk in years past. As we passed the table that I’d once claimed in this place, I didn’t pause, merely brushing my fingers over it while we moved along. If the ghosts of two men laughed on the other side of it, I didn’t notice.
When Rane turned into a supply closet, I restrained a nervous chuckle, relieved that she hadn’t taken us to her office. If I’d missed a secret entrance to a hidden library in that room, I’d never have forgiven myself, considering how much time I’d spent there.
In the back of the closet, Rane approached a plastered wall without slowing down, but rather than bouncing off of it as I’d expected, she strode thought it. A hologram?
As I followed, encountering no resistance as well, I nodded. A hologram.
Beyond this, our surroundings looked more like the entrance to a hidden secret. A short, dark entryway ended in a heavy door with bolts across it. Rane waved toward this, probably exchanging her designator with it, and with a clunk, it made the way clear for us. Stepping to the side, she waved us into a chamber with a single item in it.
“A beacon?” Pheniks said, circling said item. “Is The Library not in Xygek?”
With a smirk, Rane said, “Smart man.”
Striding to us, she spread her fingers, hovering them over the beacon’s ring.
“A warning. When you touch this, it will take you to a spot outside of the place you seek,” she said. “Since the beacons here and there exist in a closed loop, you won’t stop at the Terminal, which can be disorienting if you don’t expect it.”
“I can imagine,” I said. “Are you not joining us?”
Rane slapped a hand to her mouth, barely covering a tittering laugh.
“I may be this place’s guardian, but that doesn’t mean I enjoy visiting it,” she said. “Spend a couple hundred years shackled to a single location and you lose interest in it, no matter how fascinating it might be.”
With that, she hurried to leave us, although she paused by the door.
“Stay as long as you like, but I’d recommend that you keep track of the time. Remember, you can always return here,” she said. “When you’re finished for the day, use the beacon on the other side to come home.”
“Thank you, Rane,” I said.
Dipping her head to me, she said, “Of course.”
In a dozen heartbeats, Pheniks and I were alone, grinning at each other, if for different reasons. I couldn’t wait for a wealth of bound books to surround me, and Pheniks would soon have access to all the information he could ever want. I didn’t know about him, but thinking about this had giddiness bubbling inside of me, pushing everything I’d incurred while in the bar to the side.
“You ready?” I asked.
He nodded, and we touched the beacon’s ring.
# Chapter 64: Research: A Necessary Part of the Job
When I could think again, I frantically patted my body down while a buzz muffled my hearing. I had no memory of the trip here, which was *strange.* The ringing in my ears lifted enough for me to hear Pheniks coughing. Once I’d found him, I stumbled to rub his back.
Damn, this disorientation wasn’t helping with the dizziness that had afflicted me all morning, making the world spin fast enough to upset my stomach. I barely kept my gorge down for the heartbeats it took for my view to stabilize.
“That was worse than normal,” Pheniks gasped as he straightened.
“You don’t say,” I said.
I was only half-listening to him. As soon as I’d fought through my dazed state, I’d started scanning our surroundings, and I was… lost.
Really fucking lost. Where were we?
The beacon sat on a platform of limestone blocks, one that narrowed into a path toward a structure in the distance. To either side of this, white sand stretched until it hit a shimmering, translucent wall, much like the barriers wrapped around Xygek’s towers. Beyond that barrier lay murky darkness. Some light existed, enough to outline vague shapes, but it wasn’t enough to make out their details. That’s what arrays were for, though.
After mine had made some adjustments, I could distinguish the floating blobs as fish and waving ripples as plant life, and after calling up a map, I clicked my tongue. We were at the bottom of Lake Voxmore.
“Holy fucking shit, Zae,” Pheniks said.
I’d meant to make a snarky joke, hoping to distract myself from how much water surrounded us, but then, I looked where his eyes were pointed: toward the structure. When I viewed it with my enhanced sight, I couldn’t help but join my brother in his awe.
Without a word, the two of us moved toward it, and what had seemed like a long hike from the platform passed in no time. When we stopped with our heads tilted back, I was gaping, just like Pheniks, and almost beneath my notice, I reached for my little brother’s hand, squeezing it like I had when we were kids.
“Zae…” he said. “Is that…?”
“I think so,” I said.
The building in front of us was all smooth, curved lines with neon panels traced along every edge. These graceful lines looped and whirled until they grazed the barrier above, convoluting to the point that they made the eye ache. Even so, it was a sight to behold, fluidity incarnate.
Until it wasn’t.
A shimmer ran over the structure while different images fought to superimpose each other. Two buildings, opposite in nature, occupied the same space, but when that struggle resolved, one defeated the other, and we were left with an obsidian tower that had spikes jutting from it. After a few seconds, it blurred and once more settled into something else.
Throughout our stunned glide to it, the structure had repeated this pattern, and not once had the same building appeared twice. Not once had what we’d seen matched Lutovish architecture in the slightest.
It was something I’d only read about in stories: a building made by those from beyond the stars.
“Holy fucking shit,” Pheniks repeated.
I thoroughly agreed with him this time, though. Any alien artifacts found on this side of the Tainted Land’s demarcation line went to Houses Zan or Cerullis for study before subsequent slagging. Nothing we’d found to date, however, matched this.
“How do we get inside?” I asked.
Glancing askance at me, Pheniks snatched his hand out of mine, rubbing it.
“Do we still *want* to go inside?” he asked.
No. I would much rather run, screaming, back to Rane, but Talira had sincerely believed that I’d find useful information about the Ancients here. If I learned something we could use against *them,* not only would I potentially save hundreds of lives, but I might get Korix out of stasis sooner.
Days ago, I’d told him that I’d step in front of an energy bolt to save his life. Could I brave something that set my mind shrieking if it would have the same result?
“Want has no bearing,” I said. “I have to try, but I don’t expect you to do the same, Phen. I won’t think any less of you if you decide to go home.”
“Damnit, now I can’t leave,” Pheniks said before squaring his shoulders. “Ok. Any ideas, or are we sprinting headlong at it?”
“Mm.”
Squinting, I watched the building once more shift before pointing ahead.
“Maybe that?” I asked.
Through each of the building’s changes, only one thing had stayed the same. At its base, an angled hatch, opal in color, persisted, always blending into the structure around it.
“Of course. For this to deserve the name *The* Library, it would need access to *every* possible source of information, right?” Pheniks said. “This building and its planar cousins would need an anchor point if they were to stabilize in our reality.”
“Ah. Yeah, that makes sense.”
When Pheniks whipped his head toward me, I rolled my eyes.
“What? I did almost as well as you in rotations with Houses Zan and Cerullis, remember? I don’t understand the sciences as naturally as you do, though. Over the last eleven years, keeping up with advances in those fields has been a pain,” I said. “Plus, understanding you and your random leaps of logic has gotten *a lot* easier since we were kids.”
Huffing, Pheniks said under his breath, “My genius of a brother.”
He started for the hatch, and shaking my head, I hurried after him.
When we reached it, we glanced at one another before taking hold of its handles, one apiece. On contact, we didn’t explode into chunks or turn into gibbering morons, so I yanked on my hatch door while Pheniks did the same, and we entered The Library.
I could swear that the outside of this place couldn’t contain everything we found inside, but there it was, rows upon rows of bookshelves, stretching so far away from us that I couldn’t see the opposite wall. In front of me, a wrought-iron staircase reached for the heavens and the earth’s core, and while I couldn’t see what lay beneath my feet, the balconies above us were visible, ringing the walls until they faded into shadows.
Every ten stories or so, a mirage-like arch of unknown purpose stood out from the shelved books around it while nearby portions of the balconies extended into the open air. Light orbs hung like stars throughout the space overhead, dipping to a spot just above the shelves on our level. At the end of each row, arrows and numbers indicated different subjects’ locations, and a pedestal, just inside the entrance, held a monitor, one that presumably explained how the numbering system worked.
Observing this vast repository of knowledge, I was dwarfed by the splendor of it, of course, but something else also squeezed my throat closed, shaking a word out of me.
“Shit.”
How were we supposed to find anything specific in this mountain of information?
Pheniks didn’t seem to have heard me, tapping on his lips with narrowed eyes.
Turning to me, he asked, “A pocket dimension, do you think?”
And I burst into laughter. If anyone could make the connections needed to pull an answer out of this mess, it was my brother.
“Where do we start?” I asked, ignoring his question.
“Lutov’s founding?” he said. “Maybe we can find something about the research Cerullis’ Founder did on the Ancients. You mentioned Niklaus talking about that, right?”
“You think Asher Cerullis found a way to neutralize the Ancients?” I asked.
If only it could be that easy.
“Doubtful,” Pheniks said, as if agreeing with me, “but to research a test subject like the Ancients, you have to gather information about it first. So, his experiments and therefore, Lutov’s Founding seem like a good place to start, yes?”
I shrugged.
“Fair enough.”
Neither of us suggested splitting up. Once we located the right shelves, we headed for either end of that row and got to work.
I measured how much time had passed by the number of books I’d skimmed. With my array highlighting anything of note, I finished about three of them in an hour, depending on their length.
Pheniks and I moved through row after row, always meeting in the middle with a headshake. It was infuriating. I glanced through so many books that I’d never heard of before, and in them all, I encountered passing references to Asher Cerullis maybe a dozen times. Not once did I find a reference to the Ancients.
I knew *they* were real. My occasional stumbles into the shelves served as a testament to the wounds that *their* Favored had laid open on me, or at least, I thought Korix had hurt me at *their* bidding. He could have been working on his own.
Shaking my head, I made a face. What was I doing? I knew what I’d seen. Every time I thought about it, I could hear Korix screaming in pain again, like it was *still* happening. Why was I doubting him like this?
When the hour crept toward midnight, I gathered Pheniks from his fascinated study on the cultures of the pre-Founding nations. He jabbered about that throughout our trek to the beacon, wildly gesturing at times, and worn out, I barely kept from snapping at him to shut up. He couldn’t help it if he’d gone manic about a new and interesting subject.
One disorienting trip to Rane’s bar later and I was *done. I* just wanted to go home and sleep but…
But home meant Leski and the conundrums associated with her.
Pheniks and I entered the front of the bar, and two steps into it, something barreled into my legs. I went through an increasingly wild set of steps to stay on my feet, and once I was stable again, I irritably noted the hidden snickers of the bar’s patrons before glancing at my recent stumbling block.
A ball of black fur gazed up at me with a furiously wagging tail. Ace.
Dropping into a crouch, I clutched my dog to me, barely restraining a sob. Oh, Mother Time. I couldn’t break down. Not here.
Pulling free of his fur, I swiped my hands along his sides, doing my best to stay gentle with that. Hell, why was I so frantic about making sure he was ok?
“Hey, buddy,” I said. “Did you miss me?”
“He certainly did.”
Standing over me, Feena had her hands on her hips, shining a faint smile at me. Why was I not surprised that she and Ace were here?
“He’s been whining up a storm since he came to me, the little bastard,” she said. “I couldn’t take it anymore.”
“Thank you for dealing with him,” I said.
Waving a hand in dismissal, Feena said, “It was no trouble. Now, give me a hug.”
Rising from my crouch, I bent over Ace to do as she’d asked, and comfort brushed against me, asking for permission to enter. Before I could invite it in, Feena pulled away. She waved at Pheniks, and grimacing, he joined us.
With my siblings around me, comfort took root, and the greatest sense of peace that I’d felt in a while spread through my body. Holding them close, I rocked Pheniks and Feena back and forth, and as he ran circles around us, Ace’s tail whipped against my legs.
We were together again. Nothing could stop us.
# Chapter 65: The Unstoppable Trio
When I extracted myself from my siblings’ embrace, I was aware of how many people were staring at us, but I didn’t care.
Clasping Feena’s arms, I asked, “How’ve you been?”
She shrugged.
“Oh, you know. Busy,” she said. “I saw you only a few days ago, Zae.”
Right. After everything that had happened, the Founder’s Day Ball seemed like it had happened in the far distant past.
“I meant in general,” I said. “We didn’t get to talk much at the ball.”
“The *Lokke Vitras* did whisk you away rather quickly, although I suppose it was at my request. If you want, we can talk more in-depth now,” Feena said. “Phen, will you join us for a drink? You can ignore the *exceedingly rude* House Kolb members around us. They forget who your family is. Considering Rane finds your presence acceptable, they should too.”
As she glared at the bar’s patrons, memory slammed into me from the side. Hard. Laughing up a storm, a flickering Fyester dragged a naïve, younger me out of this bar.
“Not here.”
With my voice cracking like a whip around them, both of my siblings jerked toward me. If that weren’t bad enough, I’d been so loud that several patrons tensed, going for their weapons before they realized that I wasn’t a threat.
“Zae-” Feena started.
I didn’t let her finish. Storming through the bar, I only checked that Ace was following me before exiting it. Once I was outside, I leaned on the wall beside the door, refusing to consider what I’d just done. Instead, I scratched my dog’s ear while waiting for my siblings.
Barely anyone was on this platform, and considering how late it was, finding people in Rane’s bar might have surprised me more if I hadn’t known about the crisis that was trickling its way through House Kolb’s Strata. I suspected the barkeep would be busy over the next few weeks.
When my siblings joined me, they eyed me with caution while Feena summoned the courage to lay a hand on my shoulder, and I scrambled for a way to explain my behavior.
“You don’t have to say anything,” Feena said, in tune with my thoughts.
But I shook my head. It would be good to share this with someone who hadn’t been a part of it.
“That bar holds my last good memory of a man I loved, more than I realized at the time,” I said. “Despite how good it is, I can’t remember it with anything but pain. Everything that happened afterward… it tainted something that should have been wonderful for me.”
Falling silent, I chewed on my lip, unsure whether I should add more to what I’d already given them.
“What happened?” Pheniks asked.
Feena elbowed him, directing an apologetic glance at me, but shaking my head, I blew out a breath, hugging myself.
“I killed him,” I said.
Pheniks recoiled the smallest bit, as I’d expected, but Feena went very, very still. I didn’t know what to make of her reaction.
“He asked me to do it,” I continued, “and it was done as part of my duties, but the grief and guilt and self-hatred that spawned from what I did ripple across everything I remember about him now.”
I couldn’t look at my brother. I didn’t know what my confession had done to him, but he wouldn’t understand. So, I met Feena’s eyes.
“He was my first,” I said.
Something shifted in her, letting a need to embrace me blaze forth, but she was House Kolb too. She knew how much her attempt to comfort me might instead crumble the brittle strings keeping me aloft.
Instead, she reached for my hand, interlacing her fingers with mine, and smiled.
“I know a great noodle place nearby. It should be open,” she said. “Interested?”
Hesitantly, I nodded, and we both glanced at Pheniks. He was still staring at me with pinched eyes, but he inclined his head.
No one spoke as we strolled over walkways and plasma bridges with Ace at my heel. Soon enough, we reached Feena’s suggested restaurant, and she went inside to order for us. All the while, Pheniks watched me, and I avoided his gaze, absently petting Ace.
When Feena returned with a bag exuding heavenly scents, she led us to a bench a little further along. My siblings took their seats first, and once they were comfortable, I sank to the ground between them while Ace lay beside me with his head on my leg. Feena handed out food, and as I took a bite, I fluttered my eyes closed. Almost as good as what I’d gotten used to with Korix.
“I’ll start since Zae gave us part of his story already,” Feena said between mouthfuls. “So, first. Work. I don’t know if I’ve told you, Phen, but I hit Fourth Stratus a few months ago, and as soon as I did, Talira made me an *ii* hunter.”
I couldn’t see Pheniks’ reaction to this revelation but for me? It was funny, actually. A prospect that had once horrified me now only made me nod in acknowledgment. Damn, I’d been such a sheltered kid.
No. All of Lutov was sheltered, save for a select few.
“Since then, I’ve been in Ibis more often than not,” Feena continued. “Surprisingly, I’ve enjoyed myself. Ibisian culture is fascinating, and I’ve liked learning about it. I’ve even dated a few of them, although they call it courting there.”
“You haven’t!” Pheniks interrupted.
Rolling her eyes, Feena said, “Yes, I have. Don’t worry. I’ve been careful when it comes to consent for everything.”
“That’s not why I-” Pheniks started.
“I don’t have much else to share besides that. My life’s been relatively simple,” Feena said over him. “If we have time, I have a few funny stories to tell, but for now, I believe it’s Phen’s turn.”
“Ugh.”
Beside me, Pheniks bobbed his leg on his knee, and fascinated, Ace watched it.
“Fine. I’ll go,” he said. “First. House Zan is so much easier than Kolb. I can’t believe how little trouble I’ve had with flying up the ranks, but this last hurdle…”
Falling silent, he stilled his fidgeting.
“I don’t actually want to be First Stratus,” he eventually said, “but I caught Arion’s eye with a project that I headed a few months ago, and once he started singing my praises, I didn’t have much of a choice. Zan may be easier to advance through, but the Strata are brutal. If I don’t win out in this contest, I’m likely to regress, and I’ve gotten used to Second Stratus privileges. I know my issues are nothing when compared to yours but-”
Reaching up, I squeezed my brother’s knee.
“They’re no less valid,” I said. “Doesn’t matter how small or large they seem in comparison, they’re a struggle for you, and we’ll support you through them.”
After a pause, Pheniks patted my head.
“Thanks. I appreciate that,” he said. “Anyway. Outside of House business, which I won’t discuss, nothing much has happened in my life. I have friends, but we’re not close. I’ve also been on a few dates, but those relationships usually end once the other person sees how much time I spend at work. They’re right to leave, of course, but what am I supposed to do? I find my projects more interesting than anything a partner might have to offer.”
At that, I suppressed a smile. I’d always wondered about my brother. He’d never found anyone attractive, only dating when he needed something, whether of a sexual nature or not, from the other person.
I knew a minority of the population considered intimacy and romantic relationships an unnecessary indulgence, but I’d never been sure if he fit into that group. After all, he did enjoy sex, if our unHoused years were anything to go by. Although… I wasn’t sure if that precluded him from said minority. Probably not.
“What about you?”
Feena nudged me with her foot.
“You shared a piece of your life with us already. Ready to give the whole story?” she asked.
I didn’t know if I should. Some of the things I’d done… they were enough to change a person’s perception of me.
“Are you sure you want to hear about it?” I asked. “Given what I am, do you want to know anything about my life?”
Silence reigned for one… two breaths, but then, Pheniks clicked his tongue.
“Is hiding it any better?” he asked. “I hate having to walk on eggshells around you.”
That was a good point. How draining had it been to avoid certain topics with my siblings?
In the past, I’d done that because I’d thought my role required it, but since Korix had left me a note in a book, telling me to resist, I’d been struggling to decide what that meant. Sitting with my siblings on either side of me, the choice was taken from with, with regards to them at least.
“It hasn’t been all bad,” I said.
I told them everything, leaving only the most graphic details and the story for the last few days out. They learned about the people I’d saved along with those I’d condemned. They learned about a number in my array that was steadily increasing, the count of how many lives I’d ended. They learned, if they hadn’t already known, about how broken our supposedly perfect society truly was.
The last bit, the personal, I almost kept to myself, but my siblings had made themselves vulnerable to me. I should do the same.
“I’ve found someone,” I said. “He is… perfection, exactly what I need in most regards. I love him, but it’s different from what I’ve professed for others. He makes me whole, less of a shattered spark of a soul. I can see myself spending my life with him if…”
If the Ancients let him go. If he once more became who he truly was.
“If he returns to me,” I said.
Please, Mother Time, let it be so.
My siblings were quiet above me, and I worried that I’d shared too much with them. When Pheniks slid to the ground at my side, throwing his arms around me, with Feena quick to follow, I locked up, and the pressure and heat in my chest made it difficult to breathe.
The reaction was understandable, I thought. They accepted me. They loved me, even now.
Burying my face in their arms, I surrendered to the storm that had been raging inside since I’d learned how much trouble Lutov was facing. Since I’d learned how much of a fight I must put up for Korix. I soaked their sleeves while my sobs rang over an empty platform, and when I could, I squeezed them to my sides with my face hidden.
“Do you know how much you support me?” I asked. “Every time I get a message from you, I pore over it until its words and cadence are imprinted on my mind. Your random tidbits and check-ins have carried me through the worst moments of my life, and I don’t know how I can repay you for that.”
They were silent for a while, just holding me, until Feena cleared her throat.
“You could reply more often,” she said. “Mother Time, you don’t know how many hours I’ve spent worrying about you, only to get an answering message days later!”
“Ha!”
Lifting my head, I wiped my eyes.
“You’re right. I should,” I said. “I’m sorry.”
Bumping his shoulder against mine, Pheniks said, “I’m glad you’ve finally gotten back in the game. You were starting to worry me. So? Who’s the lucky man who’s claimed your affection?”
Feena tightened her arm around me, and from the corner of my eye, I watched her jaw stiffen as she swallowed. Curious. Over the years, she’d gotten better at smoothing emotions off of her face, even when free of missions, whereas my skills in that area had deteriorated *apparently.*
This wasn’t the first time I’d seen something like this from her either. At the Founder’s Day Ball, she’d reacted strangely too. Did she-?
“Zae?” Pheniks asked.
Shaking myself, I said, “Sorry. You’ve asked me a difficult question, one I’m not sure I can answer, but…”
Depending on Talira’s reaction to the revelation I’d made earlier, maybe Korix and I wouldn’t need to keep our relationship secret anymore, not from the people we cared about at least, and that idea…
“He’s *smiling.* Unintentionally,” Pheniks hissed at Feena. “Should I be scared?”
“It’s nothing,” I said, patting his leg. “Only, that situation may soon change. If it does, you two will be the first people I tell about my partner.”
“Good enough for me.”
Extricating from us, Pheniks leapt to his feet before brushing himself off.
“My turn to apologize, but I need to sleep if I’m to juggle this research project with my House business,” he said. “You do still want my help, right Zae?”
He *would* be abrupt with his desire to leave, making his goodbyes as soon as everyone had finished sharing, but that was just him. Pheniks, my socially awkward, oblivious brother.
“I would love it,” I said. “If you can manage the workload, of course.”
“Oh, I’m sure I can, especially if our grandmother speaks with my *shukusen* as you claimed,” Pheniks said. “See you tomorrow, then? I’ll let you know when I can drop by.”
“And I’ll let you know if my plans change,” I said.
“Great!” Pheniks said. “Goodnight, you two. It’s been… wonderful, actually, to spend time with you again.”
“Night, Phen.”
When he glanced back on his way to a lift, I raised my hand, and for a while afterward, I ran my fingers through Ace’s fur, enjoying the feel of him breathing against my leg. I'd need to speak further with Feena before heading home, but for a moment, I just let myself relax.
# Chapter 66: Protocol and Updates
“Why were you really in Rane’s bar?” I eventually asked Feena.
Because there was no way in hell that she’d been there by chance.
“Talira’s assigned me to you,” she said. “I’m your support team until this situation is resolved, acting *Lokke Vitras.”*
Nodding, I folded over Ace, scratching the base of his tail. That was about what I’d thought.
“How do you want to do this?” I said. “You could stay at the apartment with Leski and me, but that might be problematic in the long run.”
“I don’t know how best to run this mission, *Lokke Vitras,”* Feena said.
Flinching, I straightened, facing my sister.
“She’s using you to reinforce how she thinks I should act soon,” I said.
When Feena nodded, I dug my fingers into Ace hard enough that he lifted his head off of the platform, panting, and with an internal wince, I smoothed the spot I’d aggravated.
So, even my family believed that it was almost time for Korix to hand off his role, but after the last few days, I wasn’t sure I was ready for it. Cold and calculating, I might typically be, but I’d defied Korix’s long-preached need for me to abandon love.
This crisis with House Cerullis. The Crescent Incident with Fyester. When the people I cared for got involved in what I did, I didn’t handle it well, and I wasn’t sure how to resolve this issue. It wasn’t something I should consider now, though. Not in depth, at least.
“Fine,” I said. “I would hear your opinion on our sleeping arrangements, Fourth Stratus.”
“Of course. I agree with your assessment that the living space of the *Lokke Vitras* isn’t our best solution,” Feena said. “I humbly suggest that we impose upon the hospitality of Second Stratus Mira and Third Stratus Ximon.”
“Our parents?” I squeaked. “You want to bring them into this mess? Have you forgotten that they want nothing to do with me?”
Feena levelly stared at me until I sighed, lifting my eyes to the stars.
“Explain yourself, Fourth Stratus,” I said.
“We need to keep this problem between those we trust, meaning family,” Feena said. “We’ve agreed that your place of residence would present a unique set of difficulties for us, namely breaches in your security and the inevitable danger posed to anyone who stays with you.
“My place is a no-go. If we stayed there, no one could watch Leski while we’re out, and my security measures are, frankly, deplorable. Berate me as you will.
“Pheniks’ apartment… I love our brother, but do you really want to inconvenience a member of another House right now? Who knows what secrets Zan might gain if we stayed with him?
“I don’t know about you, but there’s no way in hell I’m asking Talira to house us. Which leaves our parents.
“As for your concerns, our parents are inherently involved in our troubles as the House Kolb members that they are, and no matter how much your presence may or may not distress them, they won’t refuse a request from the acting *Lokke Vitras.*
“Do you find fault in my logic?”
Banging my head on the bench, I closed my eyes.
“No, although I wish I did,” I said.
I didn’t like seeing my parents. I loved them, just as I understood why they didn’t want me in their lives, but their rejection still hurt.
“We should head there immediately,” I said. “Do you have everything that you’ll need for an extended stay?”
“I have some things in my skycruiser,” Feena said, “but I visit our parents often enough. I have basic supplies at their place.”
The flare of pain that this idea caused was strong enough that I had to take a calming breath. Why her and not me?
“Good. I’ll need to stop by the apartment for my things,” I said. “Plus Leski, of course.”
Oo, she wouldn’t be happy about how long she’d been trapped inside. That would be fun to deal with.
“Let’s get going, then,” Feena said. “Our high Strata parents might be accustomed to late hours, but pretty soon, everyone in Xygek will be asleep.”
“Not me,” I said.
“Well, duh, not you,” Feena said before hissing. “I mean, of course not, *Lokke Vitras.”*
So, she found this etiquette thing difficult too. While she got to her feet, I chuckled, but when I tried to follow her example, the world tilted, and I wobbled in place until Feena steadied me.
“What was that?” she asked.
“I don’t deal well with rapid regeneration drugs,” I said, “at least not of the variant they gave me yesterday.”
Feena’s grip on my elbow tightened.
“RRDs?” she asked.
“Mmhmm. I suppose I should tell you the uncensored version of what’s happened over the last few days,” I said. “We should head for your skycruiser while I do that, though.”
Pulling myself free of Feena’s grip, I waved for her to take the lead, and after eyeing me for a moment, she did. As we walked, I told her about the party that I’d hosted after the Founder’s Day Ball. I shared about how Cerullis had glassed Korix’s estate before getting into my subsequent stay with Niklaus, including all of its drama. Then, we reached my infiltration of the House Cerullis facility.
I had to take a break while we piled into Feena’s skycruiser. My sister left the vehicle’s console open to me, and I input coordinates, but the vehicle refused to move until I’d attached my designator to the request. As soon as it had received that fingerprint whorl of numbers, however, we merged in Xygek’s air traffic, and I picked up where I’d left off.
Feena’s face went carefully blank when I told her about Korix’s betrayal. It stayed that way throughout my tale of how Leski had rescued me as well as our antics in the facility, ending with the fight and our flight to the city.
“So, yeah. Rapid regeneration drugs of the most potent kind,” I said, “although I haven’t fully healed, even with their help. I’ve been short of breath all day, and bandaging’s holding the gash in my side together, but none of these leftover injuries are bad enough to keep me in bed. It’s like *evushk’s* always warned, though. The more I let myself get hurt, the more quickly my body becomes immune to RRDs.”
At the look on Feena’s face—a bit of horror mixed with murderous intent—I shut up. Had I upset her somehow?
“I can’t believe he hurt you like that,” she said under her breath. “He loves-”
Her teeth clicked together while a sheet of ice fell over me. Tensing, I examined my sister through narrowed eyes.
“So, you do know. I thought as much,” I said. “How?”
Fena shivered, but I couldn’t blame her for that. I only went this dead in tone and mannerisms when violence was imminent.
“I can’t tell you, in the same way I couldn’t answer the *Lokke Vitras’* questions at the ball,” Feena said in a small voice. “The only thing I can share is that no one else can learn about your relationship in the way that I did. Your secret’s safe.”
Korix had never explained why he’d gone easy on Feena that night. He’d said I wasn’t ready to know, and at the time, I’d accepted his claim. Did I still accept it?
Since the Crescent Incident, something had been controlling Korix. Had *it* told me to drop my questions at the ball, or had my partner spoken those words? If it had been the thing controlling him, did *its* protection of Feena mean she was in collusion with the Ancients as well?
Holding my breath, I forced myself to relax. I couldn’t think like this. If I suspected everyone of betraying Lutov, I wouldn’t get anything done, too paranoid to trust the people whose help I’d need. I should stay vigilant for erratic behavior, like what I’d ignored in Korix, but I wouldn’t let fear rule me.
Which meant that I trusted Korix had known what he was doing when leaving Feena alone. Which meant I trusted her.
Relaxing, I sank into my seat before crossing my arms. I refused to look at my sister as I asked.
“And what do you think of it? Him and me, I mean.”
This, other people’s opinions, was a large part of why Korix and I had hidden the romantic side of our relationship for years. What would happen if Lutov learned that its vaunted *Lokke Vitras,* ever distant and aloof, had what many people would see as a weakness? How would that perception destabilize the role?
And why wasn’t Feena answering my question? Would she rather keep what she thought to herself?
Shifting in her seat, she asked, “Are you safe with him?”
Digging my fingernails into my arms, I gazed out over Xygek. This late, it was much less hectic on walkways and between towers than during the day, which didn’t match my internal state at all.
“When he’s himself, I am never safer than when I’m with *evushk,”* I said. “When he’s himself, he’d never do anything to truly hurt me. When he’s himself…”
I had to believe these things. I had to believe that *my* Korix hadn’t almost killed me.
Feena lightly rested a hand on my shoulder.
“Ok,” she said. “Then, only one other thing matters. Does he make you happy?”
Flipping toward my sister, I glared at her.
“You know he does,” I said. “Didn’t you hear me earlier?”
Laughing, Feena said, “I did. Sorry.”
Pulling her legs up onto her seat, she propped her elbows on her knees, resting her chin on interlaced fingers.
“If you’re safe with him and he makes you happy, then what can I say but that I’m happy for you?” she said. “I mean, who am I to judge? I’ve been dating children of Ibis for years now.”
“To be fair, they’re ridiculously talented when it comes to romance,” I said. “I’ve only been on dates with one before but…”
I shrugged, and snorting, Feena burst out laughing.
“Sorry,” she said. “I don’t know why talking so seriously about one of your partners made me forget that you usually have others.”
“What?” I said with an eyeroll. “I love *evushk,* but I need more, same as him. All the same, I think…”
Oh… fuck. Why was I only realizing this *now?*
“I think he’s the one I’ll always come home to,” I said.
As her eyes popped, Feena said, “Holy shit, Zae. That’s… Does he know?”
Shaking my head, I leaned on my knees, tangling my fingers in my hair.
“Mother Time, what will I do if he doesn’t… if he doesn’t-?”
The skycruiser’s console chimed, and springing upright, I giggled on seeing the apartment’s hangar door in front of us.
“Perfect timing,” I shakily said.
Setting my internal storm aside, I gave the console my designator a second time, wiping all traces of the apartment’s coordinates from the vehicle while we landed. When I moved to get out, Feena cleared her throat.
“Should I…?” she said, glancing around.
She meant to ignore my emotional outburst too. Thank all that might be holy.
With a half-smile, I said, “You can come inside. I won’t let you see anything sensitive. Just stay behind me, all right?”
“Can do.”
Another suppression grenade guarded the door between the hangar and its foyer, and after I’d disarmed that trap, Feena examined it with fascination, which was good.
Because Leski was slumped in the foyer with a blanket tucked under her chin. Had she been waiting for me? Damnit, I should have gotten her array’s access information so I could contact her throughout the day. How long had she been sitting here?
With Feena occupied, I glided to the other woman, crouching to shake her shoulder. Sleepily mumbling, Leski shifted while her hair swung in front of her face, and I considered letting her sleep. If I did that, though, she probably wouldn’t appreciate waking up in a different apartment.
Maybe I should grab my go-bag first?
Shaking my head, I sent a drone to retrieve it and Leski’s things before jostling her again. Her breathing rate changed, and she turned toward me, lazily blinking. Still half-asleep, she smiled at me.
“Zae,” she sighed, “you’re back.”
Mother Time, the warmth those words evoked!
Then, the full force of Leski’s presence filled her eyes.
“You’re back!” she shouted.
She leapt at me, and I barely had time to catch her before we were crashing to the ground with her soft lips tightening certain parts of me to an uncomfortable degree. Hell, I wanted to keep kissing her but not in front of present company.
As gently as I could, I pulled Leski away from me, wincing at the fear and uncertainty in her eyes.
“Hello there,” my sister said with amusement.
When understanding dawned, Leski scrambled off of me.
“Sorry. Sorry,” she said.
Both of us ignored her. Feena shook her head with her hands on her hips while I gave her a rueful grin.
“You work fast,” she said, using sub-vocals.
Snorting, I sat up while a drone dropped two bags beside me.
“Are we… going somewhere?” Leski hesitantly said. “Also. Um. Hello?”
“We’re just changing locations. Nothing to worry about,” I said, “and this—”
After reaching my feet, I clasped my sister’s shoulder.
“—is Fourth Stratus Feena of House Kolb. She’ll be helping us for the foreseeable future.”
“Oh.”
Relaxing, Leski stepped forward, raising her hand.
“She’s also my big sister,” I continued.
With a small sip of air, Leski froze, and the world held its breath, eager to observe what would happen next. Much like me.
# Chapter 67: Introducing Leski to the Family
My laughter filled the foyer, bouncing in the air around us, and as if a switch had been flipped, Leski lost her shocked fright with storm clouds replacing it. Getting in my face, she slapped my arms and shoulders, but even in this supposedly furious barrage, her blows felt pulled, as if she wasn’t trying to hurt me.
“You. are. *such.* an asshole,” she shouted.
Shaking my head, I lifted my eyes to the ceiling while collecting her hands.
“If you only knew how many times someone’s called me that,” I said.
“You probably deserved it every time too,” Feena said.
Yanking her hands away from me, Leski spun to my sister before bowing.
“Please forgive me, Fourth Stratus,” she said. “Mother Time, my behavior-”
“Is exactly what I’d expect from someone my brother spends time with. He tends to attract a certain type,” Feena said, “a certain type I happen to enjoy.”
Taking Leski’s shoulders, my sister pulled her upright, all while she flushed cherry red.
“A pleasure to make your acquaintance,” Feena said.
“Same,” Leski mumbled.
Glancing over her head, Feena said, “Does the other fella know about this? You know. The one we were just discussing?”
Huffing, I tossed bags over my shoulder before trudging toward the door. Hell, but my sister liked to get me in trouble.
“They’ve met,” I said. “Briefly.”
“Oo! How did that go?” Feena asked.
Sighing, I glanced over my shoulder at them: my sister with her mischievous smile and Leski with her befuddled expression.
“He said he liked her,” I said. “Can we go, please? Leski, I have your things, but we’ll need to get you more clothes in the morning. You can’t keep wearing that.”
I had no clue how she’d found Korix’s clothes or gotten past the traps around his room, but seeing her wearing his clothes, rumpled and distinctly too big for her, was disconcerting.
“Sorry. My clothes from yesterday sorely need cleaning, and I didn’t feel comfortable in yours,” Leski said. “I wandered around until I found something that was left lying out.”
Left lying…? Had the apartment’s drones started glitching again? It didn’t happen often, but Korix and I had been too busy in the last few years to do more than a basic review of their managing processes. Something might have slipped through the cracks.
“It’s not a problem,” I said, “but I doubt you’re comfortable in a shirt that’s sliding off one shoulder or slacks that you had to roll up.”
“Oh…” Feena said. “Are they-?”
The most venomous glare that I could summon closed her mouth before she could finish her question.
“Ladies. Let’s get a move on, if you please,” I said. “I don’t know about you, but I’d like a bed soon, a real one.”
I directed a significant glance at Leski’s makeshift campsite, and mumbling under her breath, Feena headed into a hangar that we’d left not long ago. I grabbed Leski’s hand to move her along.
Once we were through the door, I briefly considered taking one of Korix’s skycruisers rather than continuing in Feena’s, but transferring Ace from one vehicle to another seemed like a lot of work that would only stress my aging dog. Plus, arriving at our parent’s apartment in my sister’s skycruiser would probably relieve a modicum of anxiety for them.
Ugh. I still needed to ask whether my companions and I could stay with them or not.
The ladies kept wordlessly glancing at each other, as if holding an unspoken conversation, which confused me until they started playing an awkward dance of getting in one another’s way. Releasing Leski, I moved her to where she was headed for the front of the skycruiser.
“You two can get to know each other on the trip,” I said. “I’ll sit in the back with Ace. He probably needs the company.”
Spinning toward me, Leski clasped her hands in front of her face.
“Ace is here?” she asked.
In answer, I nodded to the skycruiser, where we could see a dog’s panting face through the back window. After that, Leski flew to the vehicle, and I worried that she’d take the seat I wanted, but she hustled into the front, bending over its divider to ruffle Ace’s fur.
Slowing down, Feena drew even with me.
*“She* saved your ass?” she said.
“Several times. Why do you ask?”
Feena cocked her head.
“No real reason,” she said. “Only, her behavior now and what you described earlier make her a prime candidate for House Kolb, not that I’ll influence her in any way. Her choosing Kolb would certainly make things easier for you, though.”
When she elbowed me, I grimaced.
“I like her,” Feena continued. “Anyway, we need to leave, and you need to let mom and dad know we’re coming, if you haven’t already.”
“Are you questioning me?” I asked. “What happened to teaching me *Lokke Vitras* etiquette, Fourth Stratus?”
I’d meant that as a joke, even knowing that she wouldn’t receive it as one, and as expected, Feena sobered.
“You’re right. Please, forgive me, *Lokke Vitras,”* she said.
Snapping a bow, she circled her skycruiser, and I bit back a sigh as I slid into the vehicle. Ace was too distracted by Leski to pounce on me, so I had a moment to get settled before a mass of fur and a rough tongue made their assault. By the time I’d calmed my dog down, we were in the air with Feena and Leski amiably chatting, and seeing that I wouldn’t need to smooth the waters between them, I could no longer ignore the blank message that I’d left sitting in my array.
I didn’t know what to say to my parents. The last time we’d truly spoken had been before Pheniks’ House naming ceremony, and since then, I’d honored their expressed wish for me to stay out of their lives. How did I break a silence of years that had started like that?
I played with wording for a while before leaving the message as a formal requisition of quarters from a high Stratus House member. Sending it off at the highest priority, I set an alarm in my array before leaning into my seat with my hand on Ace and my eyes closed. When I started a dream sequence, Feena and Leski’s voices chased me into a brief nap.
After we’d landed in my parents’ private hangar, I let the others scramble out of the skycruiser first. They seemed to have hit it off, which made me glad. Hopefully, it would last.
I only gave myself thirty seconds to prepare, desperately running through ways to handle what was coming, but in the end, I climbed into mission mode, relying on my House Kolb training like I had with my message. Better not to feel what was coming. Better to process the blow of it once my parents couldn’t see how badly they’d hurt me.
On getting out of the skycruiser, I waited until Ace had jumped to the ground before presenting him with my palm.
“Glue,” I said.
Obediently, Ace took up position, trotting at my flank as we moved across the hangar. As I approached, mom and dad finished greeting Feena, ignoring Leski. I couldn’t blame them for that, though. Leski had faded into the background, ducking her head as she fiddled with her sleeve’s cuff.
Mom noticed me first, which had her smile dying, and she dropped her hand from rubbing Feena’s arm. Dad quickly picked up on his wife’s strange behavior, and when his eyes landed on me, he went almost as blank as her. They watched me stride the last few meters to them with guarded expressions. Halting a safe distance away, I bowed to each of them.
“Second Stratus. Third Stratus,” I said. “Thank you for lending us your home.”
Short. Sweet. There was no need to draw this out for anyone.
They, however, didn’t respond as social convention insisted that they should, just staring at me. I considered shifting in place, making myself look more human, but they’d see through that ruse in an instant.
Had I missed something? Perhaps they were upset, which I’d understand. They could afford to let emotions rule them. Should I apologize, then?
“I’m sorry to have intruded on your lives,” I said. “I know I only bring you pain. As soon as this crisis is resolved, I’ll leave you in peace.”
With a gasp, mom pressed a hand to her mouth while dad frowned.
“I don’t understand,” he said. “Feena, you said you’d prep him. Why is he acting…?”
Their reactions were… unexpected. What was I to make of them?
Almost, I looked to Feena for an explanation but no. I’d make one more attempt to get an invitation inside. I needed a few hours of sleep if I was to help with research tomorrow.
“I’m behaving like this because for the moment, I’m the acting *Lokke Vitras.* I forgot to add that detail to my message, but I thought Feena would have told you about it before now,” I said. “Did you not?”
When I turned to my sister, a frown formed on my face before I could clear it. She was glaring at our parents, and strangely, they were refusing to return her hostility.
“He’s in mission mode because what else would he be doing right now? You haven’t talked to him in *years,* all because you supposedly wanted to protect me and Phen from him, but considering how much we associate with Zae, that excuse is wearing thin,” Feena said. “I did a little prep, as you asked, but only the bare minimum, enough to get him here. You deserve to admit the real reason you’ve been avoiding him, fixing this colossal fuck up on your own. You’ve let this misconception continue for far too long.”
Whatever family drama this was, it had become troublesome, especially since it seemed to concern me. I’d rather avoid that subject for the moment so…
“If you don’t mind, can we delay this until morning?” I asked. “I need sleep and another dose of RRDs.”
“Rapid regeneration drugs?” mom faintly asked.
She lowered her hand with dad paling beside her. Why were they so surprised that I might need those? They must know I used them often enough to carry hypos of them on me almost all of the time.
“Yes?” I drawled.
“He almost died yesterday,” Feena hissed. “Almost *died* thinking you…”
She waved a hand at mom and dad before stalking away with a growl, and I bounced my eyes between her retreating back and our frozen solid parents. This had moved past troublesome to irritating and *inconvenient.* Why wouldn’t they invite me inside?
“If my presence is that much of a problem, I can find another place to sleep tonight,” I said.
No need to mention that as the acting *Lokke Vitras,* I could order them to house us.
“I’m sure that one of my contacts will-”
“No!” Mom cried with her voice choked, “Zae, no. Please, stay with us.”
Excellent. Something I could interpret as an invitation.
“Thank you for your hospitality,” I said. “My charge and I will retire for the evening. In the morning, I’ll introduce her and explain everything else I’ll need during my stay.”
Beckoning to Leski, I started for the door, always keeping my hands visible, but my effort to soothe my parents’ nerves only made it easier for dad to snatch my wrist. I kept myself from attacking him, but my stance shifted, something he could see based on how hard he swallowed. He, however, didn’t release me.
“I know you need rest, and I realize how precious your time has become,” he said, “but will you please give your mother and me a moment of it?”
Relaxing, I faced him.
“Of course,” I said. “My charge and I are your guests. The least I can offer you is my time.”
“That’s not-”
Dad looked away, keeping a firm hold on my wrist. It only loosened when mom laid a hand on his arm, and after he released me, she took a deep breath before meeting my eyes.
“Five years ago, your father and I made you think that we didn’t want you in our lives. We thought enforcing the distance between us would keep your brother and sister safe. We thought it would keep *us* safe,” she said, gesturing between herself and dad. “It was a mistake. You are our son, just as much as you’re the acting *L… Lokke Vitras,* and we love you. What would our lives be like if we cut you out? Neither of us could stand the idea of it, especially as time went on, but we let you believe that lie for years. At first, that was because we thought it would be easier for you if we never approached you again, and later, it was because we were ashamed and still-”
She bit her lip, and I knew the word that she’d withheld. Afraid. They were still afraid of me.
“We’re sorry, son,” dad said.
Sorry.
“I see,” I said.
He said *sorry.*
“I… This is a lot. I need time.”
They both looked so sad, but they nodded in acknowledgment.
After nudging Ace toward Feena, still waiting in the wings, I held out my arm for Leski, and when she looped hers around it, we left the hangar.
# Chapter 68: A Brief Loss of Control
I was only half-aware of tracing the path to my old bedroom, and a few steps in, a message from my sister slid into my array.
*I’ll take care of Ace tonight,* it read. *If you need to talk, I’m here.*
I stopped short, staring at those words, and after a moment, Leski gently tugged on my arm.
“Zae…”
“Stay here,” I told her.
Without checking whether she’d complied, I stormed down the hall and into a room on the far end, shutting off recorders as I went. When the door slid closed behind me, I had it lock and slowly, *slowly* let myself drop out of mission mode. I’d rather not stay cut off from my emotions for the entire time I was here.
Behind it, however, lay a pulsing wall of red, one that sheeted over my eyes until the washroom that I’d entered looked bathed in blood.
Five years.
“Five fucking years!”
I’d thought I’d been rejected. I’d thought my parents had discarded me after I’d become too burdensome for them, once *again,* and that had never been the case.
With my breath hissing through my teeth, I leaned on the countertop, pounding my fist against it every so often.
They’d let me believe that they disdained me for *five years.* How many social events had I attended with sick dread in my stomach because I’d known I’d have to avoid my parents? How many messages had I written them, leaving them unsent in my array?
Pulling them up, I considered erasing the file, shredding it as much as I could, but raging hurt welled in me, pushing at the back of my mouth. Mother Time, I didn’t want to be this spiteful of a person but…
Five years!
I sent them all.
It didn’t feel nearly as good as I’d thought it would. Instead of soothing me, knowing that they’d read about every vulnerable moment, every low point when I’d cried for my mom and dad, pushed that burning hurt from the back of my mouth and onto my tongue.
I was screaming, sweeping objects off the counter, spinning to punch a wall. I caught sight of myself in the mirror: red-faced with my hair wild and my eyes already puffy, and I saw a lost child, not the man I was. Not the *Lokke Vitras* to come.
Seizing the first solid object within reach, I hurled it at the mirror, and it shattered with its shards clattering to the counter and floor.
What was I doing? Mother Time, what was I *doing?* Why was I getting so upset about this after everything else that had happened over the last few days? After Korix…
Hell. Where was he when I needed him?
Someone pulled a hand from atop my head, and gasping, I snatched the other one to me, reaching for a knife. As I touched steel, however, silver hair swung in front of my face, stopping me.
“Leski,” I sighed.
Rising from my crouch, I scrubbed at my eyes.
“I told you to stay put.”
“And I did. Until you started screaming,” Leski said. “Then, I came running and brute-forced my way in here.”
With a soft laugh, I turned away from her.
“I didn’t want you to see me like this,” I said.
“Too bad.”
Circling me, Leski dragged my hands away from my face, claiming them.
“Life has given you a thorough thrashing in recent days, and I’ve only made it worse,” she said. “The least I can do is help you. I’ll be here as you need me.”
How… extraordinarily sweet of her. Most people would run screaming from the prospect of putting a mess like me back together.
One problem with what she’d said, though.
“What makes you think you’ve made it worse?” I asked.
Shifting in place, Leski said, “Maybe I can explain that while we continue to your room. You need sleep, right?”
Right. And rapid regeneration drugs.
“Hang on a moment,” I said.
Rummaging in a pocket, I retrieved hypos and jabbed them, one after another, into my thigh. Their waste joined the broken glass in a sink, where drones could dispose of them when they came to clean up.
Once we were in the hall again, I took the lead, although I refrained from taking Leski’s hand as I wished.
“You were saying?” I asked.
Leski dropped her chin to her chest, hugging herself.
“You’re in a relationship with… you know who,” she said. “Last night, I decided to be selfish, taking what I wanted, and sure, you reciprocated but…”
Releasing her clenched hold of her elbows, she rubbed her temples.
“I, in part, added relationship trouble to everything else you’re dealing with, and I’m sorry for it.”
Relationship… trouble?
“Why would you think you’ve caused a problem between *evushk* and me?” I asked.
With a sharp glance at me, Leski said, “Isn’t that what usually happens in a situation like ours? Or is your relationship with him not as serious as I thought? No matter how much the idea might scare me, if I made such a catch as that frustratingly gorgeous man, I’d… but that’s none of my business.”
Frustratingly gorgeous?
Shaking my head, I focused on what she’d said, and oh. This would be fun to explain. Hell, what would she think of me once I’d finished? Would she stay accepting, like Feena had always been, or would she grow cold and distant, as had happened in the past? Either way, I had to tell her. I was honestly a little ashamed that I hadn’t already.
*“Evushk* and I…”
Shit. How did I do this with her? She and I weren’t on a first date, when I usually explained the sorts of relationships I liked. That was when I laid down ground rules, and having messed that up already, I wasn’t sure how to proceed. I didn’t want to hurt her. I… cared for this woman.
*“Evushk* is important to me as I am to him,” I said before taking a deep breath, “as we are to everyone else we date.”
Or at least, that was how I hoped it would be once Korix opened up again.
“We’re-”
“Polyamorous!”
Taking my arm, Leski pulled me to a stop.
“You’re polyamorous.”
Had that been a question? Also, how did she know about people like me? We weren’t that common.
“Yes?” I said.
Slapping both hands over her mouth, Leski burst into laughter, staggering so badly that she spun into a wall, and when I frowned at her, her shoulders only shook harder.
“Are you-?”
This had to be *the* strangest reaction I’d gotten to a confession like this.
Pulling her hands away from her face, Leski gasped, “The night I met you, I was attending the ball with Sulvan, one of my more serious partners. The day after that, I had to cancel a date with Kayel because my dad rushed us home. Do you see?”
“Oh.”
She was-
“You’re-”
Nodding, Leski grinned at me, and I found myself returning it with something far sillier.
“I’m sorry I didn’t say something earlier,” she said. “When I first noticed that I was attracted to you, our circumstances had become too hectic for me to share, and I honestly forgot to mention it later.”
“It’s fine,” I said. “I didn’t tell you either.”
But given all of this, I could see why she’d almost turned me down last night. What an opportunity we’d have missed, and all because we’d forgotten to communicate with one another. I *really* needed to work on that.
“So, where does that leave us?” I asked.
Rolling her eyes, Leski said, “I thought that was obvious.”
She made a running leap, and when I caught her, shooting one leg back for support, she tossed her arms around my neck, kissing me. After a blissful few heartbeats, she pulled away, resting her forehead on mine with the tips of our noses touching.
“Bring me to your room,” she said. “Take some of your frustration out on me.”
That sounded nice but…
“Are you sure?” I asked. “Last night, you seemed to want us focused on one another whenever we decided to… be together, and I’m most definitely *not* that right now.”
With a soft smile, Leski said, “I know. But this is different. This is something I’ll enjoy, and it could help you. It’s not silly, like exacerbating your injuries would have been. Unless those are less healed than they’ve appeared tonight?”
“No,” I rushed to say. “No, I’m… much better. Thanks.”
Smirking now, Leski said, “Then, what’s the problem? Come on. Show me to your room, Zae. Let’s get all of this—”
Clenching her legs around my waist, she tangled one hand in my hair, pulling me into another brief kiss. She ran her other hand over what she could reach of my shoulders and chest, and that was all I needed to get pulled fully into the here and now.
“—worked out, yes?”
“Why wait that long?” I breathlessly asked.
My kiss covered her giggle, and half absorbed with that, I stumbled into the room beside us. There was little preamble here. Her borrowed slacks came off, she pulled mine down, and we tumbled to the carpet.
We didn’t spend much time here either. The furious buzz of lust and need flowing between us didn’t allow for leisurely enjoyment. We thrashed and tightened and flexed with everything done roughly. Everything was wrapped in greedy desperation and in some small part, selfishness. Each of us did what we wanted to the other, and fortunately, we were compatible enough that what started as self-serving became exactly what our partner needed.
It ended unexpectedly. Something I did—I wasn’t sure what—pushed Leski from wide-eyed relish to rapturous elation, and the waves of her pleasure had me riding my own high. As soon as I started coming down from it, I rolled off of her, breathing hard.
I’d never done *that* before. During sex, I was usually much more focused on my partner, but caring only about myself for once had been… nice. Thank Mother Time that Leski had gotten something out of it too.
“That was interesting,” she said. “Nice interesting but… interesting.”
Yeah, I wasn’t fully satisfied either, but it didn’t bother me. Raising myself up on an elbow, I grinned at Leski with an eyebrow raised.
“Warm-up?” I asked.
*“Definitely* a warm-up,” Leski eagerly agreed.
I helped her with her clothes, curling my fingers through hers once we were decent, and as we raced down the halls to my old room, our giggles chased us.
In the morning, I’d introduce Leski to my parents, telling them to watch her, and they’d agree to every stipulation I asked for, treating my unHoused charge with a respect they’d never given to their fellow high Strata, but the night before….
That night, I got much less sleep than I’d planned on, but by Mother Time, if I didn’t sleep well when I did.
# Addendum
As you might have noticed, I wasn’t great at controlling extreme emotions when I was young. I could ignore more of them than the average Lutovish, but danger to loved ones? You know firsthand what that does to me, Elliot.
The Ancients showed me how important it is to keep your distance from them when you’re central to one’s society. Korix fell for a short time, and I might not show this in my tale, but the whole of Lutov teetered as a result. Afterward, I spent centuries perfecting the art of detaching from my emotions, but even then, I’ve failed to do it more often than not.
But that’s why being with you and your family has been such a relief. Now that I know my end is swiftly approaching, now that my only purpose in life is to protect the five of you, I can relax. You see me as only Leski and my daughter have in recent years.
Oh! About Leski. I’m sorry if my more intimate moments with her were too detailed for you. I know your tastes are reserved solely for men, but while this story is meant to help you move on, its telling is partially for me too.
I don’t have long left, a few days at most, and recording this narration, reliving my life, has helped take my mind off of what’s coming. So, I hope you’ll endure or skip any parts of it that you find uncomfortable. Please, allow me this, love.
All right. Let’s get to it. Two weeks pass between the last part and the next with research and… stress filling most of that time. The crisis with the Ancients, the role I suddenly had to fill, my parents…
I cannot express to you how uncomfortable it was to walk down the halls of their apartment while I stayed with them.
But I had Leski and my siblings and an intricate problem that needed solving, and all three of these did a wonderful job with distracting me through exceptionally hard days.
After so long without results, though, I began to investigate alternate solutions, one of which was more promising than the others.
# Chapter 69: I'm an Idiot 1
Niklaus had changed since our first meeting. With sunken eyes and drawn-together shoulders, he jumped at unexpected noises, and finishing his tea, he lowered the cup with a slight tremor.
“I’ve done everything I can to help you,” he said. “When can I see my daughter?”
Cocking my head, I examined him from head to toe. I believed him. He could do us no further good as a spy turned double agent. It was time to bring him in from the cold.
But first.
“May I ask a personal question?” I said. “You would be in no way obligated to answer it.”
Shifting on the couch, Niklaus said, “I don’t see the harm in asking.”
With a nod, I bent to pet Ace, laying at my feet, and Niklaus didn’t flinch. Yup. He was burnt out.
“You’re not married,” I said. “In fact, I found little evidence of a relationship serious enough to spawn a child in your recorded history, so I’m curious how Leski exists. Who is her other parent?”
I’d asked Leski the same question a few days ago as part of my struggle with my own parents. She… hadn’t wanted to answer me. As soon as she’d expressed discomfort, I’d let it go, but she’d been withdrawn for two days, which I’d found concerning. What had happened to her second parent to cause such an extreme reaction?
Niklaus had gone still with his eyes’ widened state accenting the dark bags under them.
“In what capacity are you asking this of me?” he said.
Good question. From the reactions I’d gotten to this inquiry, its answer seemed like something that I could use in my role, but that wasn’t why I wanted to know it.
“I ask as someone who’s concerned for your daughter and nothing else,” I said.
Hanging his head, Niklaus tapped a finger on the sofa with every part of him rigid, and I thought he’d refuse to answer. Then, he defied my expectations.
“Leski’s mother made a mistake that saw her killed, something that would have had grave consequences for my daughter and myself,” he said. “Your grandmother erased her existence for me in exchange for a favor, one that she used for you.”
Damn. No wonder Leski hadn’t wanted to share. Had she been ashamed of what her mother had done, or had the pain of the woman’s erasure kept her silent, though?
Unfortunately, now I was itching for the story’s details, both for myself and so I could better understand the woman I was… dating? How had I not figured out what she and I were yet?
But I doubted Niklaus would give those details to me. Not now anyway.
“I see,” I said. “Well, Leski is out right now. You can see her when she returns, although I don’t know when that will be. Feel free to stay here in the meantime.”
Rising, Niklaus bowed to me.
“Thank you, *Lokke Vitras,”* he said. “I am grateful.”
Ugh. I doubted I’d ever get used to that deference.
Also, Niklaus had adjusted much more quickly than most to what I was. Was that because he’d known me before I’d made the revelation, or had he perhaps dealt with one of my predecessors before? He’d been alive long enough that him knowing another *Lokke Vitras* wouldn’t surprise me. If that was the case, I was curious about who it might have been. So many questions I could ask…
Now wasn’t the time for a history lesson, though.
“Of course,” I said, joining Niklaus on my feet. “You have full reign of the apartment. If you need anything, tell a drone, and it will assist you.”
“I will,” Niklaus said. “Good luck today.”
Much as it pained me to act this way, I swept out of the room without another word, as my role required.
I’d need Niklaus’ luck. We’d spent about two weeks searching The Library with no results, and it was driving me *mad.* I needed progress. I needed a sense of hope. I needed the mystery of the Ancients solved because when that happened, I’d have a means of protecting Lutov from *them* and a way to extract Korix from *their* grip. Please, let it be so because Talira’s efforts to date had been unsuccessful.
When I emerged from the sitting room, Feena fell into step beside me.
“Ready for another day, surrounded by books?” she chirped.
“I swear. By the time this mission’s over, I’m going to hate those wonderful things,” I said.
Folding her hands in front of her, Feena leaned into my field of view.
“Oo, someone’s grumpy,” she said. “Problems with Leski?”
“No. The opposite, actually,” I said. “I’m just frustrated.”
Clicking her tongue, Feena said, “Careful, *Lokke Vitras.* You’re beginning to sound human.”
“Careful, Fourth Stratus,” I echoed. “You’re beginning to sound disrespectful.”
“And we wouldn’t want that.”
With a grin, Feena skipped ahead, and shaking my head at her, I followed. I knew why she was doing this. In recent days, my mood had taken a slow plunge from sour to terrible, and I was struggling to remain calm when provoked, which was saying something.
When in our parents’ apartment, Feena had made an obvious effort to cheer me up, and it had helped. This source of comfort did, however, vanish when we left, subsumed by Talira’s command to train me in the manners of the *Lokke Vitras.*
While on the way to Rane’s bar, we entered separate worlds. Worries usually occupied mine, and today was no different. It had been almost two weeks, and we’d seen nothing from House Cerullis. While in their Southern Fells facility, I could have sworn that they’d been about to make their play, but we’d heard not a peep from them. Had absconding with Korix truly pushed their plans back this far, or were we missing something?
“We’re here,” Feena said.
Nodding acknowledgment, I pressed my forehead to a window. Time for another exceedingly uncomfortable habit, formed in the last few weeks.
The vehicle had stopped beside a platform, far from any landing pads. Outside, people had paused in their commutes, staring at the anomaly in their midst, but when Feena opened a door, most of them broke away. In our structured society, no one liked seeing something this far outside of the norm.
My sister jumped to the platform with me on her heels, and we used the distraction of the skycruiser’s lift into the air to enter Rane’s bar. Even still, some people marked us, which made me uncomfortable. I liked my anonymity. It let me blend into the background, but the needs of this mission were steadily chipping away at it.
At least the patrons in the bar tried to ignore us. Even Rane only gave us the barest of nods as we headed into the back.
As usual, the transit to the bottom of Lake Voxmore left my head spinning for several, exceptionally vulnerable seconds, but once Feena and I had shaken it off, we hurried toward The Library. I hardly gave the structure a glance, heading straight for the hatch at its base. Even the fantastic became mundane if one had enough exposure to it.
“Phen?” I shouted into the vastness of The Library. “You here?”
With research into the Ancients having become his newest obsession, he usually was. Most of the time, he was deep enough inside The Library that my shout couldn’t reach him. To be fair, that was occasionally impossible too.
During our time spent perusing The Library, we’d discovered that the mirage-like arches found throughout this place led to several different places across our world. Somehow, they transported the body to these destinations, much like a beacon did, but they did it without molecular dispersion happening in between.
Hell, if landing inside the Tainted Land’s irradiated zone hadn’t panicked me the first time I’d walked through an arch. Because of this, I’d refused to go through another one since, but Pheniks had yet to stop trying them, which sometimes interfered with our research.
Before I could prepare a message to summon him today, though, my brother stuck his head around a nearby row of shelves.
“Oh, good. You’re here,” he said. “I’ve found something.”
As he vanished, my heart fluttered while Feena and I exchanged glances. Had I heard that right? Were we finally about to move toward answers? I couldn’t get my hopes up, but as my sister and I hurried toward our brother, the pesky emotion unfurled in my chest anyway.
# Chapter 70: I'm an Idiot 2
Pheniks was, as usual, ensconced in a nest made of books, and as we came closer, he made room for us to sit. I could barely do so cross-legged, but I followed his lead anyway, wary of mentioning that I’d rather stand. My brother got finicky when he was this deep into a project, and irritating him when he was like this was a bad idea.
“So, since we were having trouble with finding any information on the era of the Founders, I went looking into old mythology,” he said. “From before Lutov’s Founding old.”
He also wasn’t one to ease into a topic.
“I figured, what the hell? It’s not as if our logical subject choices have worked for us,” he continued. “There’s some, frankly, laughable stuff in here. Did you know that before Lutov’s Founding, people used to believe in all-powerful entities that they called gods? These beings supposedly created and guided reality in what I found to be increasingly ridiculous ways. Can you imagine? Something with consciousness ensuring that *everything in the cosmos* continues as it should? Ha!”
Shaking his head, Pheniks chuckled to himself, which I found hilarious. For someone who harped on keeping an open mind when it came to what science could do, he was being exceptionally intolerant with this subject.
Even still, it wasn’t why I was here, so I took a steadying breath.
“Phen?” I said as pleasantly as I could. “The Ancients?”
“Right! Sorry. Some of this is just fascinating…”
He trailed off at the look on my face, clearing his throat.
“I found references to a shadowy organization in these books, one that supposedly manipulated civilizations. It did that by fundamentally changing key people in governing positions. Given that, these references were all listed in books about conspiracy theories, of course,” he said, lifting a book to shake it. “Most importantly for us, though, is that the organization was said to have existed since a time lost to history. Sound familiar?”
“It does sound similar to our situation,” Feena said.
“Right? I dug into this, focusing on the time around our war with those from beyond the stars,” Pheniks said. “Found bunches of interesting information. Apparently, prior to the war, the Houses held almost no power, standing as figureheads for grouping called ‘corporations’ whose sole interest was to accumulate as much currency as possible to themselves.”
Now, that piqued my interest. The Houses hadn’t always held dominance?
“That’s not what Kirst teaches us,” I said.
“I know! Like they never taught us that the pre-Founding nations relied on natural gases for power or how its people found the idea of contraceptives unnatural. They needed hundreds of schools to educate their young. So primitive. It makes me a little ashamed to have come from such a society.”
He was diverging, letting his obsession jump him along connections that I’d have an increasingly hard time with following.
“Phen,” Feena said before I could, “shadowy organization?”
“What?”
Mother Time, such befuddlement.
“Oh. Yes, yes,” Pheniks said. “So, the people of the pre-Founding nations thought of this organization as a joke. Finding any discussion on it was difficult but this guy-”
He lifted another book, peering at its cover.
“Um… James Sullivan. Strange to have two names. I wonder if the Ibisians got the idea for that from this era.
“Anyway, he took a—wait for it—*scientific approach* to studying this organization, and shock and awe! In doing so, he developed a theory that might help his many-times-removed descendants.”
Wow. Pheniks really didn’t like these pre-Founding nations.
As he paged through his book, I frowned. Something lay in that, something I was missing, but before I could figure out what it was, my brother once more barreled into his lecture.
“Here’s what Sullivan had to say,” he said before lifting the book in front of his face. “‘The hand behind our nation’s most baffling decisions, hereafter named the Ancients, has a means of changing a person: their ideology, behavior, everything. I theorize that they achieve this change through the adjustment of a person’s hormone regulation, among other things. In other words, the Ancients can manipulate our emotions.”
That… made sense. It would explain some of the more nonsensical things that Korix had said during his conversation with the thing wearing his body.
Tossing the book to the side, Pheniks spread his arms over the rest of them, lying around him.
“My next step was to research human biology and the health studies completed in those times,” he said. “Again, lots of interesting, *completely inaccurate* information here, but my studies eventually landed on something called ‘mental disorders’. From what I read, many people in the pre-Founding era took medicine to keep themselves sane and stable. They had all sorts of names to make their emotional weaknesses more palatable: bipolar disorder, clinical depression, post-traumatic stress disorder. Strange, right?”
I couldn’t move. In my own studies, I’d run across the terms that Pheniks had mentioned. I knew what they were, and reading about them had given me comfort.
I wasn’t alone! The people who’d suffered as I did might have died thousands of years ago, but they’d *existed.* What Korix and I struggled with every day was a normal, legitimate human condition.
So, hearing my brother deride my comrades in arms… the hurt of it drove straight to the heart of me.
“Anyway, that’s how the Ancients get in,” Pheniks continued. “I looked into every person suspected of experiencing this organization’s influence, and while not all of them had fancy disorders ascribed to them, all of them experienced personality changes after moments of emotional vulnerability.”
Oh… Mother Time. Pheniks just wouldn’t let up, would he?
Korix had said that he’d served the Ancients since shortly after the Crescent Incident. After a time when his actions, among other circumstances, had led to me murdering Fyester. Had those events distressed him that badly? Was he in this deplorable situation because of his concern for *me?*
“And like Sullivan theorized, once an Ancient has latched onto someone’s emotions, *they* have control of that person,” Pheniks said. “After all, no matter how much we try to deny them, emotions rule us. We may rise above them at times, but they always win in the end, and in the rare moments when we do manage to defeat them? Well. Emotions are, for the most part, caused by hormones, right? Where are most hormones produced?”
“Lots of places but mostly… the brain,” Feena answered. “The control center for every human. The Ancients take hold of that part of us.”
Grinning, Pheniks nodded.
“So, when *they* can’t control someone via their emotions, the Ancients can always do the same thing in a ridiculous number of other ways,” he said. “I believe, however, that people can resist *their* influence, even if *they’re* in a person’s brain. Doing that keeps *them* from accessing all of the body’s functions, but based on what Zae’s said, *they* always gain the ability to cause-”
“Pain,” I said.
Fyester, Tatum, Korix. Every person who’d been controlled by these… *bastards* flashed before my eyes. Their faces, when in the grip of the Ancients’ influence, loomed large in my mind, and oh. I’d be sick.
“Control of the brain,” I repeated. “That’s why their neural pathways were burned out.”
“What now?” Pheniks asked with his eyes gleaming. “Neural pathways?”
I must have forgotten to mention that part to him. Of course he’d latched onto it.
“Have you shared this discovery with Talira?” I asked rather than answering his question.
“Yes…” Pheniks drawled, “and Arion.”
Arion? Why would he-?
What was I thinking? Of course he’d told his *shukusen* about this.
“Good,” I said. “Is there anything else?”
Because I needed to be somewhere else. Anywhere but here.
Frowning, Pheniks said, “Not right now. What were you saying about-?”
“Great job, Phen,” I said. “If you’ll excuse me, I need a moment.”
Numbly, I climbed out of my brother’s haven, and as I hurried down the aisle, his questions chased me until Feena shushed him. Once I was out of sight, I leaned my shoulder against a wall, covering my face. Of all the answers we could have gotten to our questions, why did it have to be this?
“He doesn’t know any better. If he understood how you were struggling, our brother would take back everything he said.”
Feena. She was getting better at soundless movement. I hadn’t heard her coming until she’d almost been on me.
“I know,” I said. “Ignorance is humanity’s greatest enemy.”
She said nothing for a while, leaving Pheniks’ rummaging and muttering as the only disturbance to The Library’s silence.
“What shall we do next, *Lokke Vitras?”* she eventually said.
Chuckling, I pressed my hand harder into my skin. What could we do? What Pheniks had uncovered might be useful for Talira’s efforts with Korix, but how else did it help us? He’d been right, after all. Humans were emotional creatures. How did we defend ourselves against an enemy that infiltrated our ranks like that?
“We return to research,” I said, “and pray to everything that might be holy that we find something *helpful* in this ridiculous place.”
“Where should we start?” Feena asked.
Sighing, I dropped my hand and straightened my posture.
“Phen had luck with his studies on the pre-Founding nations, so we’ll look into their histories again,” I said. “When browsing through that portion of The Library, I noticed more of those awful arches clustered around it. Phen can explore them while we look through books.”
Nodding, Feena said, “Sounds good.”
She started for the closest staircase, but I didn’t move, locked in place by… something. It had hovered on the edge of my awareness since Pheniks had begun his explanation, a detail that I’d forgotten or overlooked. Something to do with the time before Lutov’s Founding. What could it-?
Niklaus. He was a founder.
“SHIT!”
With her foot on a stair, Feena glanced back at me, reversing course when she saw the look on my face, and from the corner of my eye, I caught sight of Pheniks running toward us.
“I’m such a fucking idiot!” I hissed through my teeth.
How much time could I have saved if I’d remembered this earlier? How much time had Niklaus wasted by keeping this knowledge to himself, knowledge that he must have known we needed?
“What’s wrong?” Feena asked as she approached.
“Niklaus,” I growled. “Niklaus is what’s wrong.”
Stopping beside me, Pheniks leaned on his knees, gasping.
“What does he have to do with anything?” he asked.
Snapping my gaze to my brother, I hissed, “He’s a *founder.* I was speaking with him a couple of hours ago.”
“Oh. Huh.”
Rising from his knees, Pheniks leaned away from us, stretching out his back, before marching toward The Library’s exit.
“Well, come on!” he called over his shoulder. “The man won’t interrogate himself, and I certainly can’t do it.”
Mother Time love my brother.
Fiercely smiling, I chased after him with Feena at my side. I *would* get my answers today.
# Chapter 71: Observing Social Niceties
Pheniks, Feena, and I arrived at our parents’ apartment within the hour, not long after I’d left Niklaus there. I was hopeful that we’d catch him before Leski came home, especially when Ace barreled through the door on our approach. If she were here, she’d never have let my dog get distracted from her incessant petting.
But then, our parents stepped out after Ace, presenting bright faces despite the tension hanging between us, and that hope crumbled to dust. If mom was here, it meant Leski was too, and while my parents greeted Feena and Pheniks, I accessed the apartment’s recorder system, seeking my charge. When I found her, my chest tightened, and I brushed through my family.
Pheniks said something soothing behind me, but it fell to a lower level of comprehension. I had a goal, one I must reach soon, and hell, if I’d let anything stand in my way.
When Pheniks caught up, I noted it, logging an increase in my allies’ numbers. If the coming confrontation turned violent, the three of us could handle it.
I should probably feel guilty about brushing my parents off but honestly? I hadn’t decided what to do with them. When in their presences, hurt and love battled for supremacy in me, which was a distraction I couldn’t afford right now.
They, however, were my parents. I needed to resolve this dilemma so we could move on, but I couldn’t bring myself to tackle the problem. How did I handle this?
By ignoring it, apparently. At least for now.
My siblings and I were quickly approaching the sitting room where I’d left Niklaus, and even through the apartment’s soundproofing, shouting drifted toward us from it. When they heard that noise, Pheniks and Feena exchanged a glance.
“Plan?” my sister asked.
“Silent entrance, then follow my lead,” I said.
“And if that leads to even more rude behavior?” Pheniks hissed.
He was obviously unhappy with how I’d treated our parents. Fortunately, Feena was there for support. Reaching around me, she smacked our brother upside the head.
“Not now,”” she said.
Pheniks mumbled something unintelligible in response, which was further muffled by the argument ahead of us. At least, I thought it was an argument. I’d only heard one voice yelling so far.
Accessing the sitting room’s recorders once more, I double-checked its occupants’ positions before moving Feena to the other side of me. Holding a finger to my lips, I had the door slide open before leading the way inside.
With his body shaking, Niklaus had his back to us while Leski was standing in front of him with barely any of her visible. The only reason I knew that her chin was tucked to her chest was because of my secondary view of the world.
“-you know who you’ve put yourself in the hands of?” Niklaus was roaring. “Mother Time, girl, you had to know something was wrong with the man, and still, you ran off, willy-nilly, with him.”
He was berating her over *me?* Oh… it took more effort than it should to stay loose, calm, and out of sight.
I must have done a convincing job of hiding the threat that I’d become. Feena didn’t raise an eyebrow at me as she ushered Pheniks to stand against a wall.
“Now, both of us are at his mercy, and it’s *your fault,* stupid girl,” Niklaus continued. “If that wasn’t bad enough, I’ve heard you’ve gone on dates with several people since coming to the capital. Shame on you for your behavior. How much do you mean to disgrace our family?”
I’d been dunked in an ice bath. Had Leski lived with this for her whole life? If she had, I was surprised she was so well-adjusted, just as much as I *swore* to *Mother Time* that Niklaus wouldn’t have another peaceful day until his daughter stopped me from disturbing him. I would make it my personal mission to show this man what happened when someone treated their children so horribly.
“Damnit, Leski. You do things like this, and you remind me of your mother,” Niklaus spat.
In the recorder’s feed, I watched Leski shoot her head up.
“And how is that a bad thing?” she hissed. “At least mom loved someone enough to risk her life for him, even if he was a child of Ibis. I doubt you’d do the same for me or anyone else, father.
“You see, if you really loved me, you’d understand everything that makes me who I am, including the part of me that needs multiple partners in my life, and *you wouldn’t shame me for it.* You’d work through whatever’s making you resistant to my lifestyle and accept me.
“And yes. I know who Zaeden is. I know that sometime in the next decade, I won’t be able to publicly call him that with the *Lokke Vitras* having become his name, and you know what, father? I think I might be falling in love with him. Maybe.
“So, reconcile your dislike of him or… no. Treat me like I should be treated as your daughter, or get the *fuck* out of my life.”
Spinning, she stormed out of the room, and I might have enjoyed the mottled red color on Niklaus’ face more if I hadn’t been grappling with what Leski had said. She was falling in love with me? Two weeks had passed since we’d started our strange relationship!
Sure, people had fallen head over heels in much shorter spans of time before, but I’d thought…
Had she said that to aggravate her father, or had the heat of the moment pushed it into the open? If it had, would it matter? The truths that we never wanted to say usually emerged in the moments when we were the angriest.
What would I do?
Later. I had to deal with it later. Answers came first.
As loudly as I could, I opened and closed the door at my back, and when Niklaus faced me, I was moving into the room as if I’d just entered it.
“Good. You’re here,” I said. “You’ve been withholding information from me, Niklaus.”
He blinked at me with a furrowed brow before going carefully blank. Again, he’d adjusted much more quickly to my presence than he should. Why was that?
*“Lokke Vitras,* I’m at your service,” he said “Forgive me. I wasn’t expecting you. Who are your friends?”
I almost told him that he didn’t get to ask me questions, that he could shove them up his ass, but before the words emerged, I switched tactics. A hostile approach wouldn’t get me what I wanted. Niklaus required honeyed words to pry information out of him.
“These are my siblings,” I said. “Feena. Pheniks.”
I jerked my thumb at each of them.
“I’ll let you get acquainted.”
Stepping to the side, I waved my siblings forward before taking a seat on the couch. Feena shot me the most neutral glare I’d seen in my life before stepping forward with her hand extended.
“It’s good to meet you,” she said. “I’ve heard of your work in House Kirst…”
They continued with small talk, and when he was allowed to make it, Pheniks was much more enthusiastic with his greeting, but I paid them little mind. Since I’d given my siblings the responsibility of sweet-talking Niklaus, I’d gained an idle moment much more quickly than I’d been expecting, so I turned myself toward writing the most carefully worded message that I’d sent in my life.
*Do you want me to slap your father down? With my status, a reprimand from me might have greater effect, but I won’t do it without your approval.*
After a pause, Leski responded.
*You heard our conversation?*
Finding the closest recorder in the room, I smiled at it, waggling my fingers in a wave, and soon after, another message slid into my array.
*That’s embarrassing,* it read. *I can handle my father but… Zae. How much of that conversation did you hear?*
Wincing, I wrote, *Everything after your father started berating you for associating with me.*
There was a pause for a handful of minutes, a time I spent congenially smiling at my sister while she glared at me. She really didn’t like the position I’d put her in, huh?
*So you heard what I said about my feelings for you,* Leski eventually replied. *Listen, Zae. I’m not yet sure whether those feelings are spur of the moment, a reaction to my father, or truly how I feel. I don’t think I love you now, but I can see things going that way, if that makes sense, so…*
*Look. I didn’t mean to put pressure on you. If you want, you can pretend that I never said anything. I don’t expect you to respond until you feel the same way, if that time ever comes. So, focus on what you need to do, ok?*
Closing my eyes, I held the warmth that Leski had spawned in the heart of me, just enjoying it for a moment, and after one slow breath, I let the world in again, grimacing when I saw my siblings beginning to struggle with Niklaus and his ever-present temper.
I sent off one more message.
*You’re amazing. Thank you.*
Then, I shut off the room’s recorders.
“Will you join me, Niklaus?” I asked. “I have things to discuss with you.”
Niklaus seemed relieved when he sat across from me while Feena and Pheniks found seats as well.
“How can I help you, *Lokke Vitras?”* he asked.
Leaning my elbows on my knees, I steepled my fingers in front of my face.
“Continuing with what we were discussing earlier,” I said, “was your wife part of the Ibisian uprising ten years ago?”
Again, Niklaus looked like he’d seen a ghost, and at my side, Pheniks shot me a questioning glance. He wouldn’t understand what I was doing, but Feena did, based on her faint grin.
When in an interrogation, asking a question to rattle the subject before getting to the important ones could, at times, loosen the tongue, a strategy that would work well with Niklaus. That it would also get me more answers about Leski’s mysterious mother was merely a happy circumstance.
“How did you…?” Niklaus said.
Straightening, I spread my arms.
“I am the acting *Lokke Vitras,”* I said. *“Shukusen* Talira may not have fully elevated me, but do you think she would have given me this position if I couldn’t handle it?”
In actuality, my question about Leski’s mother had been a guess.
If she’d lost her life while helping a child of Ibis, it had likely been during one of that landmass’ many revolts. Those were the only times when Lutovish citizens might get caught in the crossfire. When we’d been in the House Cerullis facility two weeks ago, Leski had implied that she’d known her mother, and the only revolt that had occurred within her lifetime had been the one from ten years ago, a year into my training.
At that time, Korix had traveled often, leaving me with assignments to complete. While he’d been away, I’d gone through a vast swath of my book learning—studying subjects like the intricacies of House maneuverings, higher sciences, and other secrets that the unHoused never learned—and when he’d been home, Korix had taught me how to dance and play various instruments, among other things.
Looking back on it, I could see why he’d focused on those skills during that year. I recognized the signs of stress in him that I hadn’t seen at the time. I’d always wondered what he’d been doing while away. I’d figured it’d had something to do with the revolt, but I’d never been sure exactly what that could have been. Maybe I could ask him if- *when* he woke up.
Trembling, Niklaus said, “Yes. Laryse died in the uprising.”
When I clapped my hands together, he jumped.
“Excellent! The man can share his secrets. I just have to *ask* for them,” I said. “Tell me, sister. Considering what we learned this morning, should I have had to ask for the information I want right now?”
“No, brother,” Feena said. “You shouldn’t have.”
“That’s what I thought,” I said, “but apparently, Niklaus here disagrees.”
Throwing my arms across the back of the sofa, I crossed my legs, looking down my nose at Niklaus, and he shifted in place.
“What information have I failed to give you?” he asked.
With a cold smile, I opened my mouth to answer when I once more received a message.
*I need you at headquarters. Now,* was all it said.
Internally, I groaned. My grandmother usually had better timing than this.
Externally, I hopped to my feet.
“You’re a founder, Niklaus,” I said. “Figure out what I want and share it with my siblings. I have better things to do than listen to your story.”
As I strode out of the room, Pheniks’ voice rose behind me, and I sent silent thanks to my sister. My brother might be invested in dragging every secret out of his latest obsession, but given how she’d been acting at the beginning of that interrogation, Feena was probably less than enthused about me leaving her behind.
When I was halfway to the hangar, my mother stepped into the hall ahead of me, but as soon as she saw me coming, she ducked into the room she’d just left.
Clicking my tongue, I called, “Wait.”
I should start the process of resolving this problem. Otherwise, I’d never face it.
When I reached her, mom couldn’t meet my gaze, which was probably a good thing. Who knew what I’d do if I had her once-comforting eyes on me?
“I’m not sure how I feel about what you and dad told me,” I said, “but we can’t leave it hanging over our heads like this. The next free moment I have, we should talk.”
Hugging herself, mom said, “Whatever you want, Zaeden. We’ll do what we must to make this right.”
Did I want this made right?
“Ok, then,” I said.
Turning on my heel, I hurried away, but I couldn’t get far enough away to avoid the four, carefully worded energy bolts that she launched into my heart.
“I love you, son.”
Even as I pretended to ignore them, those words jangled in my head on my way to the hangar. They followed me all the way to House Kolb’s headquarters.
# Chapter 72: Waking Him Up
I’d never seen the lobby of House Kolb’s headquarters more deserted. A few people scurried between the lifts and the exit, but they couldn’t number more than a couple dozen, and in its emptiness, a normally austere place, kept alive by activity, seemed like a grave.
As I crossed toward a lift, my footsteps echoed, and this had a few people tossing odd looks my way. When I’d visited this place in the past, I’d usually come through the landing pad on the roof, although Korix had made me sneak from the bottom of the tower to its top several times before. Even still, my face wasn’t well known in the House that I’d soon help lead, only answerable to *shukusen* Talira.
She was waiting for me at the lifts with her feet shoulder-width apart and her arms crossed behind her back. If I was getting strange looks, she was getting stared at, but she must have taken that possibility into account earlier, considering how infrequently she came down from on high.
Once she’d spied me, the statue the Talira was showing to the world relented, and she strode toward me with a warm smile and her arms spread for a hug.
“Grandson!” she cried. “I’m so pleased that you’ve come to visit.”
We were playing those roles, were we? It made sense, especially if she was holding my identity close to her chest, like a card yet to be played.
“It’s good to see you,” I said.
Returning her hug with enthusiasm, I forced myself to remain at ease while hiding my irritation. I knew she’d interrupt my activities quite often in the future, but not only was I unaccustomed to it now—not from her, at least—but what she’d interrupted today could be vital for Lutov’s security.
Could I ignore my *shukusen’s* summons if I was doing something crucial for my role’s objectives?
I didn’t have long to ponder this fascinating thought as Talira soon held me at arm’s length.
“Look at you,” she said, clucking like a mother hen. “How long has it been?”
A couple of weeks.
“Years,” I said. “Sorry. I’ve been busy.”
“I can imagine,” Talira solemnly said. “Well, come on. Let’s get you what you need. Maybe we can have lunch afterward?”
She set a floor into a lift’s control.
“I’d be delighted,” I said.
“Good, good.”
Standing to the side, Talira waved me forward.
“After you.”
Did she know how much I *hated* taking lifts first? The extra danger, even one this insignificant, wasn’t something that I liked adding to everything else I daily shouldered. That plus having someone like her, one of the two people who could take me down single-handedly, at my back made the hair on the back of my neck stand on end. Even still, I did as she’d bidden with a smile, which was pretty much standard for me.
Rather than taking me skyward, as expected, the lift plunged me beneath the ground, and my frustration was wiped away in the face of the hope that had started bubbling in my heart. By the time I’d reached my destination, though, I was also chewing the hell out of my lip. Had Talira summoned me for the reason I suspected or for the revelation of my worst nightmare?
By the time my grandmother had joined me, I’d isolated the floor we were on from the tower’s recorder system, which she must have known given her lack of warmth while examining me.
“You look better,” she said.
“I feel-”
Talira jabbed a finger into my side, interrupting me, and as I glanced between it and her, I let my annoyance shine through.
“I feel better,” I said, trying again. “Really, *shukusen.* RRDs can repair my body in two weeks. I haven’t built up that much of a tolerance for them yet.”
“I had to be sure, given what we’re here to do,” Talira said.
Even as all of me paused, breathless, for her to complete that thought, I ignored my grandmother’s invitation to ask the question at the forefront of my mind. Instead, I flicked my eyes toward the ceiling.
“What was that about?”
“It’s what I had to do when you came through the *front fucking doors,”* Talira said. “Seriously, Zaeden? You couldn’t think of a better way inside? Maybe one that wouldn’t stretch my acting skills?”
With a half-smile, I said, “Oh, I thought of plenty.”
Rolling her eyes, Talira started down the corridor.
“Sometimes, I forget how much of a snarky bastard you can be,” she called over her shoulder. “I’ll never understand why your *evushk* had to choose you as his replacement, but I do know that you’ll be a pain in my ass First Stratus.”
Yes. Yes, I would be, but only because she liked it.
Trotting to join her, I strode at her side with a bounce in my step.
“Speaking of *evushk,* is he why I’m here?” I asked.
With narrowed eyes, Talira said, “What do you think?”
I thought that if I was right, I’d be happy sans worry for the first time since the Founder’s Day Ball. I’d be able to take on any foe, both the known and the seemingly insurmountable, without doubt or hesitation dogging me.
I couldn’t say any of that out loud, though.
“Does that mean Phen’s discovery was useful?” I asked.
“Incredibly,” Talira said. “Why don’t I show you how?”
She stepped into the room on our right, and following her, I glanced over dimly lit monitors embedded in counters, as well as a pair of rolling chairs sitting on the room’s far side. Most of the screens displayed charted numbers, some of which I scanned, but I was mostly occupied with the central-most images.
Three versions of a single brain were glowing in front of the chairs. The two on the outside looked nearly identical, although I didn’t know if these images were normal for a human. The one in the middle had a bright spiderweb permeating it.
Sliding into the seat beside Talira, I hunched over the images, staring for a moment, before falling back into my chair.
*“Evushk’s?”* I hesitantly asked.
Nodding, Talira pointed to each image in succession.
“His brain before capture, after you brought him home, and now.”
When had she gotten a scan of Korix’s brain before this fiasco had begun? Did she have one of mine? That was a disturbing thought.
“So…”
I splayed my fingers over the middle image.
“The white strings denote the Ancient’s influence.”
“That’s what we think. After Phen pointed us to your *evushk’s* brain, we found that mess waiting for us,” Talira said. “I don’t know how we missed it on our first time looking there. Perhaps we caught the Ancient controlling him by surprise that second time around.
“In any case, I had our medics work their magic, and once they’d finished, mist—the Ancient, presumably—seeped out of your *evushk.* We sealed it in an air-tight container for further study, and after doing another scan, this was our result.”
She drummed a finger on the third image.
“Our tests show him returned to the state that he claimed before all of this. Mostly. We won’t know for sure if this is true, though, until we wake him up.”
Mother Time, how I wanted to focus on that last bit, but I wouldn’t let it overshadow any information Talira was withholding from me. Because she *was* withholding.
“Mostly?” I asked.
Sighing, Talira slumped before tapping a blank spot on the monitor. After a pause, she overturned her hand, and a depiction of the brain beneath it flickered into the air above. In this three-dimensional representation, what the flattened image had been hiding was revealed.
A rainbow, one that represented various levels of neurological activity, flowed uninterrupted from the back of Korix’s brain until it reached his frontal lobe, where mood and personality were regulated. Here, pattered splotches had eaten darkened holes through those colors, much like when paper absorbed excess ink.
“Shit,” I said.
Somehow, I’d kept my voice from wavering.
“And this is from after we removed him from the Ancient’s control,” Talira said.
When she tapped the monitor again, the hologram blinked with its image almost unchanged, except that the black spots had multiplied to an alarming degree.
I clung to the edge of my seat, digging my fingers into it, and despite myself, I couldn’t stop my jaw from slackening or my eyes from bulging. The first one was from *before…?*
Fortunately, Talira was too preoccupied with what she was holding to notice my reaction.
“This is a faster deterioration that what we’ve seen over the last hundred years,” she said.
Slapping my hands on the counter, I shot to my feet.
“Ok. What the fuck is wrong with *evushk?”* I said. “I’ve seen signs of it, obviously, but… Damnit, I need to know the specifics, or I can’t fulfill my duties as the *Lokke Vitras* to come.”
I’d tagged on that last bit, hoping it would make my outburst appear more appropriate for my role. From the way Talira was looking at me, though, I didn’t think it had worked.
“He hasn’t told you?” she asked.
When I shook my head, she curled her fingers into her hand, making the hologram disappear.
“I’m sorry. I thought he had, otherwise, I would never have shown you this,” she said. “It’s not my right to breach his privacy like that.”
*“Why not?”* I shouted.
Talira blinked in the face of my anger, lowering her hand into her lap.
“Zaeden, the *Lokke Vitras* has little that they can keep to themselves, despite the secrecy that surrounds the role,” she quietly said. “You’ve already experienced this with how thoroughly we’ve shared your training with the relevant parties, but when you replace your *evushk,* it won’t just be your training that’s shared. It will be your entire existence, and the *shukusenth* won’t be the only ones who learn about it. It will be all of Lutov and a few people in Ibis too.
“So, when something comes along that’s deemed acceptable for you to keep to yourself, you’ll cling to it so fiercely that giving the secret to another person will feel like relinquishing a piece of your soul. Do you understand?”
Gradually lowering myself into my seat rather than dropping like a rock required more willpower than I’d like to admit, and once I’d sat down, weariness crashed over me. As much as I could, I relaxed, becoming a portrait of peace, and approval briefly flickered to life in my grandmother. She saw my return to control as the answer that it was.
Folding my hands in my lap, I said, “So. Waking up *evushk?”*
“That’s the plan,” Talira said. “First, I’d like to discuss what you proposed when last we met.”
Great… I’d thought I’d have more time before this topic came up again. Apparently not.
“You’re a *shukusen.* I can’t exactly say no to you,” I grumbled.
Snorting, Talira said, “No, I suppose you can’t. Sometimes, I forget.”
Shaking her head, she scooted forward in her chair.
“For the last two weeks, I’ve been considering the idea of the *Lokke Vitras* having a confidant,” she said. “I’ve identified several of the plan’s merits and demerits, but in the end, the benefits outweigh its possible consequences. So.”
Clapping her hands, Talira rubbed them together, keeping her eyes on them.
“So,” she repeated. “For a trial period, you and your *evushk* may continue along your chosen path. I’ll be watching you, looking for any sign that your relationship has affected your roles. I’m not sure how long this will continue, but once I know that you were telling the truth about your loyalties, the trial period will end, and I’ll inform the other *shukusenth* about what you’re doing. Depending on their reactions, we will reveal it to Lutov. Knowing this, do you want to continue?”
Did I want to continue? Please. It didn’t matter what she threw at me. I’d stay by Korix’s side until he decided he was finished with me.
Shrugging, I said, “Your terms are better than I expected to get.”
With a soft laugh, Talira turned to the monitors once more, pausing to glance at me.
“For how much you claim to care for him, I’m surprised you haven’t visited him over the last two weeks,” she said.
Raising an eyebrow, I asked, “Who says I haven’t?”
Talira guffawed this time, pressing a hand to her chest.
“Fair enough,” she gasped when she could. “Let’s wake this bastard up, shall we?”
When she brushed the corner of the monitor, it switched to a view of Korix in stasis. As with every time I’d seen him like this, my heart lurched while acid surged to the back of my throat, but the reaction wasn’t as extreme this time. He’d be out of that amber gel soon, returned to Lutov and me.
Please, let it be so.
A gurney sat below the stasis field’s capsule with a medic standing beside it. Seeing her made me cringe. Once we were done here, Talira would probably have that medic eliminate her memory of this event. No one could know about the *Lokke Vitras’* weakness.
At a signal from my grandmother, the medic swiped at the air, initiating stasis release. After tubes and wires disengaged, the amber capsule lowered itself toward the ground, but when the bottom of it touched the gurney, its gel dribbled up and around its curved edges to gather at the top while Korix descended through it. When he was lying on the gurney’s padding, the capsule lifted, sucking away from its once prisoner as it returned to its typical position.
As soon as it was clear, the medic rolled the gurney out from under it, checking Korix’s vitals. I watched her run her hands over his body with time crawling by, and when she stepped away, my heart leapt into my throat.
Was he ok? Had something gone wrong? I needed someone to talk to me, damnit!
The stasis field’s effects lifted, and Korix released the breath that he’d held for two weeks before taking another. This cycle repeated a few times before he came to consciousness.
He filled my vision, becoming all that I could see, and when Talira rested a hand on my knee, I dimly realized that I’d been jittering my leg. I didn’t know whether I stopped the unconscious movement or not.
In the past, I’d seen a few people emerge from stasis, prisoners I’d needed to question for one reason or another. They’d usually woken up coughing and desperately seeking familiar surroundings or people.
Korix opened his eyes and stared at the ceiling, just breathing. My only sign that he was aware of his surroundings was the sudden strengthening of his chest’s rise and fall until he curled onto his side, sobbing. Before the medic blocked my view of him, I caught his lips moving, speaking a string of words that my array translated for me.
“He did it. Mother Time, I can’t believe he did it.”
I’d fly to pieces; the pressure on my chest was so great. My eyes were pinned on what little of Korix that I could see, and I didn’t move until the monitor powered down. Then, I turned to Talira, although her form was blurred and smeared.
“Well?” she said. “Go make sure it’s him.”
My throat was so closed that I could barely sip air through it, let alone force words free, so I didn’t know how I choked out what I must.
“Thank you.”
But then, I was out the door, moving so fast that my hands kissed the ground when rounding onto the hall, and I ran to Korix.
# Chapter 73: Checking Assumptions
The full meaning of Talira’s words didn’t penetrate my thick skull until I’d almost reached my destination.
We had no evidence that this Korix was *my* Korix yet. She’d sent me to verify his identity, not to reunite with a loved one, and she’d been right to do it. I was, after all, the one who’d lived with him for the last eleven years.
That made it no less painful to slow my sprint, put my appearance in order, and request my rifle. With it in hand, I faced a locked door and blew out a breath. After reading my privileges, it opened, and I stepped into the room, detachedly scanning it for threats. The only one I saw was Korix.
In the time it had taken me to get here, he’d changed from a hospital gown to his typical black clothing, and he was sitting on the gurney, curling his fingers around its edge, while the medic fussed over him. Mother Time, I’d never seen him so distracted before. He had yet to assess who’d joined him, something he typically did the second someone entered the room.
“I’ve got it from here. Thank you,” I told the medic. “Go see *shukusen* Talira.”
She glanced askance at me, but on viewing my empty stare, she scurried away. Korix never moved, blankly gazing at nothing, which was concerning. From what I’d seen earlier, I’d thought the damage done to his brain wouldn’t result in severe symptoms, but perhaps I’d been wrong. Either way, I waited by the door, guarding my avenue of escape.
*“Kuvesk,”* Korix softly said.
Oh, good. His brain wasn’t fried.
*“Evushk,”* I said.
Sighing, Korix hunched on himself.
“I don’t have a protocol for this,” he said to his thighs.
Seconds ticked by with the silence between us as viscous as the stasis field outlining his body. When Korix moved, my fingers twitched on my rifle, but he only leaned back with the ceiling having become his fascination.
“Did she send you to verify if I’m free?” he asked.
I didn’t have an answer for him. He should already know it.
“Of course she did,” he said.
He shook his head, making his black curls bounce.
“Echo one seven zero whiskey charlie. That when my work is done, the Collective may never know the spark of my soul. Echo one seven zero whiskey charlie.”
Blinking, I analyzed this strange string of words, and when I gained no meaning from them, I assumed he’d spoken them for Talira’s benefit. Did that mean I could go? I didn’t like occupying the same room as him when I was in mission mode like this.
“For you, *kuvesk,”* Korix continued. “I know the secret desire that you’ve held for your whole life. I’ve known it from the moment we met, and I’ve not once spoken of it to another person. The only time I revealed it was when I wrote a note for you, one that I left lying in a gift you brought home years ago. It’s one of the last things I did before… before this.”
It was him! Only Korix knew the mistake that I’d made when openly speaking with him during his ‘kidnapping’.
Unless the Ancient could read his memory. If *it* was still using Korix, *it* could be playacting right now, manipulating me with a pretty story.
Rubbing his face, Korix said, “It’s the best I can do. Until this argument with the Ancients is settled or we learn more about *them,* you’ll wonder if I’m me. You and Talira must decide if you want to risk letting me help, but if I’m going back into stasis, I’d prefer it if that happened sooner rather than later.”
I could do nothing more here. Without a word, I walked out the door, not even a little upset that he’d never looked at me.
Talira was waiting for me outside, thank Mother Time. I hadn’t been sure how I’d secure Korix while returning to her. At least with us here, he’d have a hard time getting past the door, if he tried to escape.
“What do you think?” she asked.
I thought that the next few weeks would be much more difficult than I’d expected.
Leaning against the wall, I said, “He made a good point. It doesn’t matter what secrets he tells us. He won’t gain our trust, not completely. Until we can be sure that we’ve scoured the Ancient from his brain, he’s a loose cannon, one that could easily backfire on us. So, do you believe his expertise is worth the risk of him turning traitor again?”
“I asked what *you* thought,” Talira said. “Don’t turn the question back on me.”
I thunked my head against the wall, making stars flare for a second.
“Right now, I can’t handle what we’re facing, even with the resources already at my disposal. It’s too much for me,” I said before drawing my lips into a thin line. “When everything’s said and done, though, all that matters is whether letting him run free will serve Lutov, and I think that it will, if only because I need him. I need his help, *shukusen.”*
Talira was quiet for a moment, probably considering my argument.
“You want his help, even if you’ll have to watch his every move?” she asked.
She wanted me to act as his warden? Me. His student and partner.
“Even then,” I said.
Squinting, Talira frantically scratched her scalp before throwing her hands overhead.
“All right. I’m halfway convinced that he’s telling the truth anyway, given what he said,” she said. “The code he recited for me is buried deep, specifically for cases like this. No *Lokke Vitras* would otherwise share their greatest desire, not out loud like he did at least.”
Greatest… desire? Korix didn’t want to join the Collective when he died? He wanted to just… disappear?
“What’s yours, by the way?” Talira asked. “Your *evushk* mentioned it while you were speaking.”
I was already frozen inside, and yet, her question still made me go cold. How was that possible?
Meeting her eyes, I said, “Something that I won’t share with you unless you require it, *shukusen.”*
Talira fluttered her fingers in a wave.
“Fine, fine. When you become the *Lokke Vitras,* I’ll learn it anyway, so it doesn’t matter if you tell me now,” she said. “So, what do we do next?”
She was asking me?
“I’d like Phen and Feena to join us,” I said. “Before I left base, I started them down an avenue of investigation that should yield results. It’s about time we collate what we know.”
Talira gave me a funny look, one that I didn’t understand. What did she dislike about my plan?
“You want to invite a member of House Zan into our headquarters for that discussion?” she asked.
Oh. One of these days, I’d remember that every person besides me cared about the House system.
“I want to extend an invitation to a young man who’s spent far more time on research than me in recent days, someone who’s more likely to concoct a plan from our gathered information than anyone else I know,” I said. “Don’t deny Lutov a chance for salvation because it might come from another House.”
“I- You’re right.”
Hell, Talira had sounded surprised. Why would anything I’d said have surprised her?
“Ok. I’ll get my other two grandchildren here,” she said. “Any other creative ideas for me?”
I wished I could say yes but…
“No. Merely a request.”
Raising an eyebrow, Talira asked, “Privacy?”
Of course she’d known what I wanted.
“If that’s acceptable.”
“It is,” Talira said before starting down the hall. “Please, remember where you are, though.”
“I always do,” I said under my breath.
Talira disappeared, but despite how much I wanted to move, I couldn’t. Stuck in place, I was vividly aware of the reunion waiting behind the door beside me, and without emotions to distract me, I realized how difficult it would be. Part of me screamed to abandon it and run home to Leski, even with all of her associated problems, but I wouldn’t let myself do that.
I loved Korix. Being with him was worth every hardship.
So, I stepped through the door.
# Chapter 74: Bittersweet Reunion
When I eased into the room, Korix was sitting on the floor with his knees up and his head in his hands, and my stomach dropped.
“No, no, no!” I said, flying across the distance to him. “Don’t do that!”
Dropping to my knees, I tugged on his wrists, revealing a tear-streaked face. Holy hell, he was crying. I… How was this happening? What did I-?
“You’re not allowed to do this,” I growled.
Wiping my thumb along his cheek, I flicked a tear off of it.
“I forbid you from feeling guilty.”
Taking hold of his head, I tilted it toward me, forcing him to meet my eyes.
“I worked *too damn hard* to save you. You can’t lose yourself to self-pity now. I-”
Mother Time, I needed him.
As I swooped down, my lips came within centimeters of his before I was knocked flat on my back, and when I climbed to my feet, Korix was on the other side of the room with his eyes glistening and his face red.
“You don’t understand!” he shouted. “You’re too inexperienced to understand.”
“Ko.”
“I’ve betrayed everything I believe in. I endangered Lutov. I betrayed *you.”*
“Ko!”
“I *hurt* you. Really, truly hurt you, not like the necessary pain that I’ve given out throughout your training. I almost kill-!”
“KORIX! WILL YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP?”
Flinching away from me, Korix closed his mouth, and I was seeing so much red that I almost didn’t notice his reaction. Fire was roiling in my gut, and I wanted to strangle him, but hell.
How his hurt cut wounds in me.
“Mother Time, Ko. So, you hurt me. So, you endangered Lutov,” I said. “Last time I checked, the homeland’s still here, and *I’m still standing.* I will always get back up, so long as my spark of a soul remains with you.”
“I-”
Choked, Korix looked like he’d protest, and a roar built in my ears, only matched by the one in my voice.
“Damn it! I don’t care how guilty you feel about what you did to me. I have been sick out of my mind with worry for the last two and a half weeks because of you. I need you, Ko, and no one’s watching us right now. Get over here, and *kiss me.”*
Korix had fallen back a step with his face having gone slack, but I didn’t relent. I glared at him with trembling fists until something passed over him. Until he sped to me in a blink. Until his warmth was around me and softness was on my lips, but his mouth was so insistent that I tasted blood in it, and my back arched.
“Please,” I begged. “Mother Time, please.”
Again, I was left in the cold with Korix several paces away from me, and as much as desire oozed from him, something about him read broken. Lifeless.
“No. Much as I want to, I can’t believe you want this,” he said. “You’re not thinking straight. I won’t let you do something that you’ll regret-”
With House Kolb speed aiding me, I barreled Korix into a wall, pushing my forearm into his throat with my teeth bared.
“Don’t you dare tell me what I want,” I hissed.
And I roughly kissed him, smacking his head into the wall. Korix tried to push me away, but after stunning the nerves in one of his arms, I pinned the other one before pressing my lips to his again. He struggled for quite a while, but I never let up, doing what I could to communicate everything that was boiling over in me.
When he surrendered, I cautiously backed off.
“All right. I get it,” he said. “I- Mother Time, this is distracting. Can I have some room?”
“No,” I said, pressing my body further into him.
“O…”
His lips parted with his eyes unfocusing, and I smirked. Good. Maybe I’d gotten him to forget our problems, if only for a moment.
“Zae—”
Holy shit. Korix’s voice briefly faded to fuzz at the sound of my name on his tongue.
“—don’t know if I’m up for everything that you usually demand,” he was saying when I could focus.
“Oh, Ko.”
Releasing my hold on his neck, I cupped his face. With barely any space left between us, I leaned my forehead on his.
“You’re always in control. When working. When at home. When with me,” I said. “Why don’t you let me take over? Just this once.”
Lifting his hand, Korix trailed his fingers over my chin and ear and hair, and I shivered.
“Is that what you want?” he asked.
“Yesss…” I said with my jaw shuddering.
Closing my eyes, I leaned into his hand, and after a brief, blissful moment of pressure, Korix ripped it away.
“Then, take control.”
Never had three words mushed me so thoroughly into the animal that inhabits us all. Growling, I took hold of Korix’s hair and neckline, jerking on both, and I sank my teeth into his shoulder. I poured all of my repressed hurt through that bite, even as I dragged my palm over his chest and side and hip. Damn, it was all so *enticing.*
I only loosened my teeth’s squeeze when I tasted iron, giving the briefest of glances to pinpricks of red before transferring that taste to Korix. Motionless to this point, he squirmed, or he did so until I slipped my hand under his waistband. Then, he gasped. While my lips contorted against his mouth, he clung to me, and fuck, if I didn’t like that.
Backing off, I said, “Again?”
I heard Korix gulp with the lick of his lips wetting mine.
“Are you sure no one’s watching us?” he asked. “I did my own check but…”
Talira’s warning overrode anything else he might say, and untangling my fingers from his hair, I requested my rifle, making the most minimal of motions to shoot each of the room’s recorders. And all the while, I kissed Korix.
When I next gave him space, his eyes had dilated to thin rings of gray bordering blown-wide pupils.
“Mother Time, Zae,” he said. “That’s-”
When he said nothing more, I chuckled.
“I know.”
In some ways, being with Korix was easier than sex with Leski or any other person. I didn’t need to hold back, not as much at least. Once he was ready, I could fuck him to my heart’s content. Each of us knew what the other one needed without having to ask, and even if I still concentrated on him, I didn’t have to.
As Korix’s breathing went from erratic to ragged, he reached to spread his fingers over my cheek. That soft touch took a pent-up, ravenous ache in me and ruptured it, carrying me away in its flood.
It was everything I’d wanted. I was empty and yet full, satiated and yet, utterly and deeply needy with the most exquisite pleasure flushing through my body. It was heightened when Korix threw his head back to land between my neck and shoulder.
I was barely aware of sinking to my knees and back, barely aware of his body squeezing mine to the floor. It was all ok. I was fine, he was fine, and finally, we were together again.
This nearly equaled the weight of the problems piled on us.
With time seeping to a crawl around us, we couldn’t move, and I clung to Korix, expecting him to evanesce, to shatter and dissolve beneath the sway of what had ruled him, with each heartbeat.
I didn’t care that he was crushing me. It was better than breathing freely when he was gone.
I didn’t care that my hand, plastered against his waist, was sticky. It was better than wondering if I’d touch him again.
I didn’t care that my eyes were burning so badly that I was about to become an emotional, teenage boy again. I would become the fool if it meant that he stayed with me.
“Well, then,” Korix said.
The rumble of his voice into my body made me hold him tighter. He didn’t seem to notice.
“That was…” he continued. “Losing control to you is… nice. I don’t know if I could do such a thing with anyone else, but I’d like to try it again with you. If you’d like.”
He rolled off of me, and the ridiculous thought that he’d vanish if I wasn’t touching him had me scrambling on my hands and knees to follow him. Sitting up, Korix lifted an eyebrow, glancing between my fingers, digging into his leg, and my face.
“I’m guessing you’re not in mission mode anymore,” he said.
“That wasn’t obvious the second I walked in here?” I shakily asked.
Pursing his lips, Korix spread his legs, patting the ground between them, and I crawled to sit there, leaning back against his chest. He wrapped his arms around my shoulders, and taking hold, I buried my face in them.
I didn’t know why I was so fragile right now. This spillover of panic and need went against everything that I’d been taught, but I couldn’t bring myself to shove it below the surface. Not yet.
We stayed here for a while with me ever-hovering over the precipice of a breakdown. Every so often, I neared an unwanted pitch forward, and only Korix, tightening his arms around me, dragged me back from the edge.
“How do you know I’m me?” he asked.
He lowered his nose into my hair, letting his breath billow against my scalp.
“When you kissed me, how did you know that you weren’t about to sleep with an alien being, using my body?”
At the end of that question, his voice took on a rough edge, and I came up for air, momentarily putting everything ripping through me to the side. When I considered our situation from his perspective, the resulting reflection made me wince. Even still, I had to be honest with him.
“As the acting *Lokke Vitras,* I cannot believe you’re back until I find definitive proof to support it,” I said. “I have to question everything you do, always believing that you’re an Ancient that’s manipulating the hell out of me.”
I gave him a moment, certain he’d push me away, but when he didn’t, I continued.
“As Zaeden, I just know. I don’t know how else to put it. Something about the spark of your soul has always called to mine and… I know how contradictory that seems, given that I went five fucking years without noticing something was wrong… Shit.”
Diving into the safety of his arms, I breathed him in, letting his scent relax me.
“I have my doubts, Ko. I’m not an idiot,” I said, “but I *choose* to believe that you’re telling the truth because what else am I supposed to do? Spend the rest of our lives wondering if my Korix is looking at me from those eyes, my Korix is telling me… I can’t live with such worry. Can you understand that?”
The wash of air through my hair stopped, and the arms around me constricted until my bones ground against his. Had I upset him? What I’d said probably wasn’t what he’d wanted to hear, but it was the truth. I wouldn’t lie to him.
“I never meant to hurt you,” Korix said. “I remember it, Zae. The look on your face when you realized what I’d done. Ordering those House Cerullis members to kill you. My heart still stops every time I recall how deeply I drove my blade into your side. And now, there’s this. I never considered the emotional wreckage that I’d need to help you get through. I’m… s-”
Slipping free of Korix’s embrace, I slid down his chest until I could see him before pressing a finger to his lips.
“It wasn’t all bad. I learned a lot while fighting you.”
When Korix tried to speak, I pressed my finger harder against his mouth while a grin came to life.
“But more importantly, losing you, if only for a time, made me realize how much I… can’t love you,” I said, “and once this is over, I want to discuss something I’ve been considering over the last two weeks.”
Lowering my finger, I waited for Korix to say it, and he obliged.
“What’s tha-?”
“Also, regret has no place in you, remember?” I interrupted. “Shame on you for making me remind you, *Lokke Vitras.”*
As mirth bubbled in him, he let it pour out of his mouth. Damn, I loved this view. Idly, I marked the memory of it in my array so I could return to it later.
“Zae, you- you-”
Smoothing his hand along my face, Korix took hold of my wrist, lifting it to kiss my knuckles.
“Do you know how much you save me?” he asked. “I should be long gone by now, but you… your presence, your light, and your hopefulness have sustained me for years. I can never repay you for it.”
Closing his eyes, he took a deep breath before lowering my hand.
“Talira has made you the acting *Lokke Vitras?* I should have expected as much, given everything,” he said. “How’s that going?”
“Not badly. Not… great,” I said. “Can I ask you something?”
His earlier words, however sweet they’d been, had reminded me of a potential problem.
“You’re always welcome to ask,” Korix said.
“Ok.”
Rising from my Korix-shaped pillow, I spun to face him, clasping my hands in my lap.
“Talira showed me something earlier, something she brushed off after realizing what she’d done,” I said. “The Ancients control people through their emotions by manipulating the production of hormones in the brain. So, for the medics to remove the Ancient inside of you, they had to take scans of your head.”
Korix had gone stiff with his eyes hooded. He knew where I was going with this, but I couldn’t stop. I didn’t care if this was something he wanted to keep private. It could affect us both, and so, I deserved to know about it.
Pulling the mentioned scan out of my array, I projected it into the air between us, pointing at the black splotches in it.
“What are these?”
With blood draining from his face, Korix swayed in place, steadying himself with a hand on the floor.
“Its progression has accelerated,” he croaked. “I thought-”
Swallowing hard, he flicked his eyes to mine.
“I should have said something before now,” he said. “I didn’t want to worry you before there was a problem but-”
Someone requested a direct connection in my array, and lifting a finger to pause Korix, I accepted it.
“Zae-zae, why are the recorders in your room reading nonfunctional?” Talira asked. “Do we have a problem?”
“No, *shukusen.* You told me to remember where I am, yes?” I said. “I was following your advice, shooting the recorders while doing… other things.”
A long sigh rattled over the connection.
“Those’ll be a pain to replace,” Talira said, “but that’s for another day. You might want to make yourself presentable, little ass. I sent your siblings your way not long ago.”
“…Fuck.”
Laughing, Talira cut the connection, and I frantically scanned the room for our clothes before scrambling on all fours to retrieve them.
“Does Talira know-?” Korix asked.
Shoving his slacks at him, I said, “Get dressed. My brother and sister are coming.”
Clicking his teeth together, Korix jumped to his feet. We’d both started dressing when the door behind us opened.
# Chapter 75: Once Out, Always Out
Walking into the room, Feena froze when she saw Korix and me before shoving Pheniks into the hall, shutting and locking the door behind him. Thank Mother Time for her quick reflexes. My brother seeing the *Lokke Vitras* and his replacement in such a compromising situation would have been… unfortunate.
As it was, I could only grin as I watched the crimson flush creeping toward Feena’s hairline. Korix didn’t look nearly as amused, sliding into the disturbing calm that always preceded his fall into mission mode. Catching his eye, I shook my head while buttoning my slacks.
“She already knows,” I said, “and no, I didn’t tell her.”
A bit of warmth infused Korix, although he still looked poised to attack.
“How?” was all he said.
I snatched my shirt from where I’d dropped it, knowing the question hadn’t been for me. Considering I was in the room, I was curious how Feena meant to answer it, and as expected, I caught her flicking her eyes to me while her posture stiffened.
“I didn’t guess the nature of your relationship, if that’s what you’re worried about. I doubt anyone else suspects a thing,” she said. “Our friends in the Easter Reaches told me.”
The Eastern… Reaches? Feena wasn’t doing a great job of clarifying things-
“Ah. I wasn’t aware that the relationship between me and Zae had anything to do with that.”
Halfway through donning my shirt, I jerked my head toward Korix, which almost tore its cloth. He’d returned to relaxed, or what would appear relaxed to me. With no other questions, he finished getting dressed as if no one else was in the room with him, and I could only stare until he glanced at my awkward maze of limbs and shirt. Rapidly blinking, I moved to correct the mess.
“The connection is tangential, but it exists, or so I’ve been told,” Feena said. “My apologies for intruding. I should have expected-”
“Oh, stop,” I groaned. “How many times have you walked in on me like this now?”
“Too many times to count,” Feena said, “and I wasn’t apologizing to *you,* ya brat.”
“Hey!”
Finished with dressing, Korix skirted the room’s stasis field to cautiously rest a hand on Feena’s shoulder, squeezing it.
“You never need apologize to me, Chosen,” he said.
…Chosen? That was new. What was it supposed to mean?
Even knowing it would get me nowhere, I looked to Feena for clarification, and as expected, when she was done ogling Korix like he’d learned how to use magic, she shook her head to clear it.
“Thank… you,” she said before clearing her throat. “Forgive me, my *Lokke Vitras* and acting *Lokke Vitras,* but are you ready to return to the real world? I’d like to grab Phen, our House Zan brother, before he does anything stupid while out there alone.”
“Oh, hell,” I said.
Korix and Feena were out the door by the time I’d crossed the room, and when I joined them, my stomach clenched. My brother wasn’t waiting outside, but as soon as I began reviewing recorder feeds, I slapped my face, dragging my hand over my nose and chin. Korix was already moving, but still, I called over my shoulder as I turned to our right.
“This way.”
Two doors down, I swung into a room identical to the one we’d just left. Pheniks was standing beside an amber capsule, extending a finger to poke it, and racing to him, I slapped his hand down.
*“Don’t* touch the stasis field, you *idiot,”* I hissed.
“So, it is a stasis field?” Pheniks asked with his eyes still glued to it. “I wasn’t sure.”
“And you decided that touching it was a good way to find out? Do you know what would have happened if I hadn’t stopped you?” I said. “Damnit, Phen! You’re up for House Zan’s First Stratus position! You should know proper safety procedures by now.”
Grimacing, Pheniks faced me.
“You’re right,” he said. “I was curious. You know how I get.”
With my hands pressed to my head, I came close to screeching my frustration at my brother, but fortunately, Korix saved me.
“You’re exactly as I imagined, Second Stratus,” he said. “When we’re home, your brother often talks about his siblings. He’s portrayed you quite well.”
Rolling his eyes, Pheniks turned toward Korix.
“You could have said you brought-”
As he fell silent, he cocked his head, narrowing his eyes.
“Oh. The *Lokke Vitras.* Of course.”
Glancing back at me, he raised an eyebrow as if asking why I hadn’t said something, and I was punched so hard by the dread in the room that I thought I’d be sick. I didn’t feel it, of course. All of it was coming from Feena.
“Phen…” she said in a cautious tone.
With a frown, Pheniks said, “What? If he means to hurt me, I can hardly stop him, and I have no doubt that he has a similar temperament to Zae, otherwise our brother would have vanished ages ago. If so, he doesn’t want my deference, not that I can blame him. All that hero-worship must get exhausting. Although, I suppose I should greet him? Stop talking about him like he’s not here… hmm.”
Facing Korix, who’d been watching all of this in his stoic way, Pheniks marched to him, extending a hand.
“Hello,” he said. “I’m Pheniks, as you already know, and you’re the *Lokke Vitras,* as everyone in Lutov knows. It’s nice to meet you.”
Hesitantly, Korix took my brother’s hand to stiffly shake it, and with a huff, I crossed my arms.
“Stop holding back, Ko,” I said. “These are my siblings. They’ll be a part of my life for a long time yet. You might as well learn to relax around them, at least a little.”
With a sharp inhale, Korix glared at me, and while I shrugged, Pheniks glanced my way, wrinkling his nose.
“His name’s *Ko?”* he asked. “Huh. I thought it would be something more intimidating.”
Korix was teetering. I could see it. My years-long influence on him and the extreme stress of the last few weeks—days to him—threatened to demolish the indomitable defenses that guarded his true self, and I was determined to make them come down.
Lifting my eyes to the heavens, I shook my head, mouthing ‘brothers’, and one of the most beautiful sounds I’d heard in my life filled the room. For the span of two breaths, I reveled in it, this bouncing display of joy that I’d only twice enjoyed before, but then, I examined the results of my handiwork.
Feena was plastered against a wall with her rifle in her hand and her eyes bulging while Pheniks had scrunched his face up. They were both staring at Korix, who was supporting himself with a hand on the wall. Bent double over an arm, he was trying to control his body’s shaking, and simultaneously, my siblings tore their eyes off of this impossible sight, looking to me for help.
I just smiled at them.
With a desperate gasp, Korix slammed his back into the wall before sinking to the floor. He loosely sprawled across it with tears streaming from his eyes, and almost, he tipped to the side as well, but when his laughter diminished in intensity, I strode to stand over him with my hands on my hips.
A quiet that I found comforting descended, one that probably raised goosebumps on my siblings’ skin, and after a moment, Korix waved for help up. I offered him a hand, but on taking it, he yanked on it, dragging me to my knees. Straightening, he threw his arms around my neck before kissing me. I was so frozen by shock that I didn’t get to return it before he retreated, closing his eyes while resting his forehead on mine.
“I can never, never love you, Zae,” he said.
“I know.”
It seemed that with this secret shared once, we couldn’t stop from doing it again. Much like we couldn’t stop doing each other. Oh, well. We’d adjust. Again.
Taking hold of Korix’s head, I kissed his brow before rocking to my feet. When I offered him help up this time, he got a cautionary look, but grinning, he only used my hand to haul himself to his feet. Once he was stable, though, I didn’t let him take his hand back. It was mine now, and I was never letting go.
“Your siblings,” Korix said.
Feena had crossed her arms and ankles, pressing her back to the wall with an indulgently annoyed look in place, but Pheniks looked outright pissed. Oh, hell. Please, say he wouldn’t turn into an unwittingly judgmental asshole with this. I sometimes forgot how much of a propensity he had for that.
“You’re sleeping together,” he said. “Of course you are. If he put his mind to it, Zae could seduce the least sexually inclined person into his bed.”
Ok. Not too bad so far. I glanced at Korix, and he grinned at me in a feral manner.
“I’d say there was a fair bit of seduction on both sides this time,” he said.
Damnit, we’d just put this fire out! Why was he stoking it again?
Pheniks ignored Korix, trying to drill through me with his gaze.
“Is he the one you were talking about the other day?” he asked. “The one who makes you… how did you put it? ‘Less of a shattered spark of a soul’. Right?”
When Korix raised his eyebrows, I stopped blood’s rush to my cheeks before it could heat them. Embarrassment was *not* something that I let others see in me, not when I could prevent it like this at least.
“He is,” I said.
And those eyebrows shot for their matching color at Korix’s hairline. I quirked one of mine, tilting my head.
“Don’t tell me you didn’t know,” I said in sub-vocals.
“Mother Time, I should have seen it.”
The anger in my brother’s voice dragged my focus away from Korix before I could see his response. Was Pheniks about to heap derision on us? Sure, he’d made comments about my lifestyle in the past, but he’d never meant for them to sound contemptuous. The relationship between me and the *Lokke Vitras,* however, might be something he disapproved of.
“Why didn’t I see it?” he growled, throwing his hands overhead. “I can see the connections needed to improve wait times for people idling in the Terminal but *damn romantic relationships!”*
Oh, right. This was my brother I was worrying about.
Moving toward Pheniks, Korix tugged his hand free of mine, but I let him have it. I’d claim it again soon enough.
Clapping my brother’s shoulder, Korix said, “You have my support. Once this mess is resolved, I’m not sure what position I’ll hold but-”
“I’m sorry,” Pheniks interrupted. “Support with what?”
Tensing, Korix pulled away from my brother before turning aside to pinch his nose.
“It’s like House Zan’s been made into a man,” he said. “Mother Time help us all.”
I barely kept from laughing. Even considering my limited interactions with my brother’s House, I knew Korix was right. Pheniks was the epitome of Zan.
Dropping his hand to his thigh, Korix said, “You have my support with your challenge. I’ll let Arion know the first opportunity I get. You’ll make an excellent First Stratus.”
“Ah. Yes,” Pheniks said. “Actually, I-”
Feena loudly cleared her throat.
“Fun as all of this had been, shouldn’t we get to *shukusen* Talira?” she said. “We need to start this meeting about the Ancients, right?”
I’d never seen someone tumble so quickly from happy to pained as Korix did at my sister’s words.
“We should, preferably before she sends the Second Strata after us. I’d rather not fight them again,” he said. “I assume one of you knows her location, so please. Lead on.”
Feena raced through the door as if hounds were chasing her, and with his face souring, Pheniks followed her.
When Korix crossed the threshold, I smoothly slid my hand into his, and as if he’d expected that, he swung me around the corner, hard enough that I stumbled into him before I could regain my balance. Passing my hand behind his back, he pressed its palm to his side before wrapping an arm around my waist.
Mm. This was much better.
We reached a set of lifts, and after putting the top floor into one of their controls, Feena stepped into it. As she rose through the ceiling, a message slid into my array.
*Talira knows too, yes?* it read.
I gave Korix a slight nod, and after a pause, another message came in.
*I have no doubt you used that talented tongue of yours to argue our case.*
Meeting his eyes, I displayed the most dazzling smile, and Korix snorted.
*What did she say?*
And finally, I wrote a response.
*She’s letting us have a trial period.*
Sighing, Korix squeezed my hand.
*We’d better make the most of it, then.*
He tugged me to the lift, stepping into it, and wasn’t this a relief? I could bring up the rear, as I liked.
At the top, Korix was there to take my hand as soon as he could. Pulling me to him, he kissed me, and this, being freely affectionate with one another in the open, gave me such a thrill that I briefly considered skipping the meeting that I’d persuaded my grandmother to call.
In the end, I peeled myself away from Korix, striding with him down a foyer lined with paintings, and to me, the floor felt like it was made of springs. Mother Time, I could swear that helium had replaced my innards because at the slightest nudge, I’d drift into the clouds.
My grandmother looked the opposite of how I felt. A still statue behind her desk, she was tapping its surface in time to my footfalls, following my path to her with a glower. Feena and Pheniks had already found seats, which left me and Korix with…
One. There was one chair left. Was Talira punishing us for something, and if so, why not leave us with nothing to sit on?
As we came closer, I angled to stand behind the chair, like a good *Lokke Vitras* to come should, and Korix let me. At first. As he sat, however, he tugged me in front of him. Taking hold of my hips, he guided me down onto his leg before encircling my waist, ducking his head to scoop my arm around his neck. With a happy sigh, he nestled into me, and when I could think straight, I relaxed on him, kicking my foot along the floor.
“I see you’re feeling better, my *Lokke Vitras,”* Talira sourly said.
Humming, Korix said, “Much better, yes.”
An odd look passed over Talira’s face before she settled into cranky once more.
“I also see that I’m not the first to learn about you two,” she said, eyeing me.
Before I could open my mouth to protest, Pheniks butted in.
“Actually, I found out about them maybe five minutes ago.”
“And I’ve known for a while,” Feena said, “but I didn’t learn it from them.”
At Talira’s glare, I shrugged.
“They’re family,” I said. “Even if they hadn’t learned about us in this way, I’d have told them unless you forbade it.”
Hiding her face, Talira groaned.
“You’re either going to be the best or worst *Lokke Vitras* that Lutov’s ever seen,” she said with her voice muffled. “Right now, I’m thinking it’ll be the latter.”
*…Ouch.*
“Much as I like the attention all of you are paying me, we should move into discussing why we’ve gathered this afternoon. The Ancients,” I said. “Who wants to go first?”
# Chapter 76: A Drawn-Out Explanation
Talira’s office went unnaturally still, and glancing between its occupants, I clicked my tongue.
“I suppose I’ll repeat what we know first,” I said. “The Ancients are a non-human race that we’ve somehow first learned about within the last few weeks. *They* can manipulate a human through their emotions, but other bodily functions, namely pain, can be influenced as well, all after *they’ve* obtained control of the brain. This takeover occurs during moments of emotional vulnerability.”
Pheniks and Feena pointedly avoided looking at Korix. The *Lokke Vitras* shouldn’t have weaknesses, and I’d poked at an enormous one in the man who currently held the role. They didn’t want to stir the pot further, but Talira had no such problem.
“How did you let *that* happen?” she asked.
Korix’s shift in posture was like an earthquake to me, no matter how small it truly was, but when he spoke, he sounded as controlled as ever.
“You know how. I warned you that something like this might happen years before I took Zaeden as my *kuvesk,”* he said. “You sent me on a mission too quickly after the Crescent Incident, and yes, I should have told you about my situation, but you were the *Lokke Vitras* before me, my *shukusen.* You should have known that I wasn’t ready for a mission without me having to share.”
My siblings had never seen the *Lokke Vitras* speak with his superior when social expectations weren’t guiding his behavior, so they gaped a Korix’s borderline insolence. It was normal for me. Well, normal except for the fact that I was *sitting* on him.
Reaching up, I tousled his hair, and he relaxed a fraction, which had the daggers that Talira was staring at him reducing to mere scalpels.
“Maybe you’re right. It doesn’t matter for our discussion, though,” she said. “Phen. Feena. Your brother said something about an avenue of investigation that you followed this morning?”
“You mean with Niklaus?” Feena said. “Yeah, we got some interesting information from him. Phen, you want to take this?”
At the mention of Niklaus’ name, a jolt had run through Korix, which made me frown. Did he know the man? That might explain why Niklaus had always been more relaxed around me than most people were. How did they know one another, though?
Clapping his hands together, Pheniks scooted to the edge of his seat.
“According to our resident founder, these Ancients have, as we expected, been around for a while, but I don’t think we realized exactly how long,” he said. “Niklaus claims that he doesn’t know much about our enemy. He says that in the pre-Founding era, *they* were a known quantity, much like our understanding of gravity is today. Something that we’re aware exists but that no one, besides people like Lord Asher Cerullis, cared to learn about. Small subsets of the pre-Founding nations were fascinated with the Ancients, but this manifested more as… worship, treating *them* like gods, than scientific curiosity. The reason for their strange reaction? The length of time that the Ancients have existed.”
As Pheniks fell silent, a troubled expression took hold of him, and unease sent a ripple over my skin. When it came to problems, my brother never let anything but fascination rule him, usually at least.
Dreading the answer, I said, “Which is?”
Pheniks didn’t move, simply rubbing his hands together, so Feena took over.
“I’ll qualify this by saying that it’s unverified. We can’t know if Niklaus is telling the truth or if the Ancients lied to his people,” she said.
She made sure we understood before plunging forward.
“The Ancients have existed from the dawn of reality, from before humanity’s birth, from before the Collective’s formation.”
Feena grimly looked on as those of us with connections to the vaunted *Lokke Vitras* role absorbed the enormity of what she’d said. True to form, none of us showed the terror that we each must be experiencing, never moving away from neutral expressions except to blink.
The only indication of our shock was how long we were taking to respond, and as the pause stretched into awkward territory, I hummed, as if in contemplation.
“That’s… intimidating,” I said.
*“Intimidating?”* Pheniks said. “Zae, have you been hit in the head too many times? This is-”
“Manageable,” Korix interrupted. “My *kuvesk* and I will handle it, as we do with all threats to Lutov.”
I did *not* jerk incredulous eyes to him. How would we manage a problem this ridiculous? Plus, Korix had to know that he’d act only as a consultant on this extended mission. Terrifying as I might find it, I’d be in the lead this time.
I knew why he’d said that, though. At his words, Feena and Pheniks had relaxed to a degree, my brother more so than my sister. Our society was conditioned to believe that the *Lokke Vitras* was invincible, and that conditioning was strong. Mother Time help them if they ever learned how fallible we were.
“Perhaps *shukusen* Talira has something that will help,” I said. “Did your people find anything useful in the wealth of information that I brought home with me?”
Wincing, Talira said, “They recovered relevant facts, yes. I don’t know how much it’ll help.”
“All information about our enemy is useful,” Korix said. “The more we know, the greater chance we have of finding an exploitable weakness.”
At that, I hid a smile. Oh, Leski would have a few choice words to say on that subject, but if she’d known where they came from, perhaps she’d understand my decisions while in the House Cerullis facility. Granted, my choices hadn’t been made solely because of what Korix had taught me, but she didn’t need to know that. Not any more than she already did, at least.
“Who cares about usefulness?” Pheniks asked. “I want to learn more about these fascinating creatures. Knowledge about them is its own reward.”
Several snorts escaped from the House Kolb members in the room, whether freely or into their hands, as they retained their laughter. I didn’t even try. Struggling to balance on my perch, I let delight ring from me, waving reassurances at Pheniks when he closed off.
“You’re amazing, little brother,” I gasped. “We’re sitting here, worrying only about our survival, and *you.* Mother Time, you see the wonder in the enemy we face.”
I shook my head.
“Whoever in House Drav approved our parents’ application for you, I’m grateful to them.”
Flushing a deep red, Pheniks mumbled something unintelligible, shooting his eyes to the ceiling, and at this display, Feena and Talira chuckled while Korix rubbed my side.
*“Shukusen,* maybe ease Phen’s suffering?” Feena said.
“I can make that happen,” Talira said. “We were discussing what my people found in Zae’s gifted info dump, yes?”
A chorus of affirmatives answered her with Pheniks’ only a little strained.
“Some of you may know this, but over the last three decades or so, House Cerullis has focused its studies on our planet’s atmosphere. I don’t know what started this fixation, but their discovery of the Ancients is what retained it,” Talira said. “From their reports, we think Cerullis first stumbled upon *them* about twenty-seven years ago. According to that House, *they* are beings of pure electricity contained by a shell of condensed water vapor, one that’s coated with a phospholipid bilayer. There’s more to it, of course, but for our purposes, the Ancients are incorporeal cloud people.”
Once she’d fallen quiet, Pheniks said, *“Fascinating.”*
As I observed the rapture spreading through my brother, I found myself jealous of him. He didn’t see what we warriors did.
“How the hell do we kill them?” Feena asked.
The horror in her voice echoed in me, but I suppressed it, reaching for an answer, any answer, to her question.
“Could we dissolve their insulators?” I asked. “Without those phospholipids to shield it, their electricity would dissipate when it touched water vapor, right?”
Pheniks fixed me with the most condescending look that I’d seen in a while.
“Don’t play dumb,” he said. “You know that we can dissolve what amounts to a cell membrane. We just need the right combination of chemicals for it.”
“Not with these creatures,” Talira said. *“They’re* too fast. Cerullis has tried to kill the Ancients thousands of times before, and during every experiment, *they’ve* laughed at the House’s attempts.”
“Well, what about- about-?”
Hushing, Pheniks chewed on his lip with a faraway look in his eyes, and the crater in my stomach bottomed out further. If my brother couldn’t think of a solution for us, then…
“Killing off the Ancients might not be our only answer to this problem, and even if it is, discovering how to do it shouldn’t rest on the five of us alone,” Feena said. “We should focus on creative solutions. We know what the Ancients are and what *they* can do, but what’s motivating *them* to attack now, after thousands of peaceful years? If we learn this, we could try negotiating with *them.* Maybe we can work together-”
“That won’t work,” Korix quietly interrupted. “It’s a wonderful idea, but… it won’t work.”
All eyes turned to him, even mine as I twisted in place. He didn’t notice, lost in his head with his jaw clenched, but no one asked the question that I was sure we were all thinking. We waited for him to decide what to say.
“I remember it all,” he eventually said. “Every moment that the Ancient played with me, I was aware. I-”
Narrowing his eyes, Korix cocked his head.
“It’s difficult to describe,” he continued. “Being under its influence was like having two versions of me, equally present, in my head. There was *me,* as I am now, but also…”
He closed his eyes, as if to more accurately remember, but I knew it for the attempt to deny pain that it was. I hugged his neck, resting my head on top of his hair.
Softly enough that only he’d hear it, I said, “Cold Korix.”
I didn’t have tell him that it was ok or that he shouldn’t feel guilty. It wasn’t what he needed. He needed someone to prompt him.
“Yes, that’s a good way to put it,” he said. “A cold version of me.”
When I unfurled from around him, Korix had opened his eyes again.
“So, two versions of me: one as I truly am and one of the Ancient’s making,” he said. “I was each of them, and I was both and neither, but at all times, I fought myself, whether as who I am now or as cold me. This turmoil is the only reason that Xygek isn’t a bunch of smoking craters right now. But none of this is terribly important. I’m only sharing it so you’ll understand how I know this.
“The Ancient that was controlling me would, at times, absent my body to commune with *its* compatriot in Lutov. That second creature is the one that’s running the show, handing out orders and the like. *It’s* also the only one that knows the full plan.
“I never uncovered more of the plan than the part I was to play in it, but every time my Ancient returned to my body, a faint impression came with *it,* one that strengthened over time. It was a curious sensation because although the Ancients don’t have emotions like we do, something incredibly sad and desperate tinged the impression.
“I tried to reason out its cause for myself, but eventually, I just asked the Ancient what I was experiencing. And *it* told me what *they* want from us.”
When Korix glanced at me, I remembered a conversation that we’d held, weeks ago.
Licking dry lips, I said, “A home and children.”
With a nod, Korix said, “The way that the Ancients reproduce requires a place for *their* young to incubate until *they’re* fully formed. This is usually done in the Source, *their* home, but in part because of our production facilities in the Eastern Reaches, that place is falling apart. The only other way for *their* young to mature is- is to implant *them* in another safe environment. Can you guess what that might be?”
“Us,” Talira breathed with horror shining from her. “Holy shit, *they* want to use us like test tubes.”
*“They* have a right to it too,” Korix said. “It’s what the Founders promised *them.”*
Shooting to her feet, Talira shrieked, “Why would they have done that?”
“They were desperate,” Korix said with a shrug. “You know the tales as well as I do. I don’t blame them for making this pact, despite what we might pay for it.”
Talira dropped into her chair heavily enough to rock it, but her shock only half-registered with me. I was too busy looking at the problem’s many facets, turning it every which way. We were facing an enemy of terrifying capabilities, one that we couldn’t kill, and not only did *they* have a powerful motive behind *their* hostile actions, but we owed *them* an enormous debt.
As I examined our mess, only one conclusion came to mind.
“We’re fucked,” I said.
# Chapter 77: Another Introduction
The people with me seemed to agree with my assessment. Around me, blanched faces stared into nothing, and I resisted the urge to smack them, especially Talira. She should know better.
“It doesn’t matter.”
“We have to fight anyway.”
Hearing Korix’s voice ring alongside mine, I grinned at him, needing to press my lips to his, but I refrained from it. For now.
“You’re right, of course,” Talira said. “Forgive me, my *Lokke Vitras.* Zaeden. For a moment, I forgot myself.”
Beside me, Korix said, “You’re a *shukusen,* Talira, not the *Lokke Vitras.* That role’s burdens are no longer yours.”
Talira cleared her throat.
“Yes, well. Let’s not focus on me. Now that we’ve discussed this subject into the ground, you need your marching orders,” she says. “For now, I want the four of you to relax. You can do more research if you like, but keep in mind that I want everyone fresh once I have a plan.”
“And what will you be doing?” Pheniks said.
Thank Mother Time he’d asked that question. Much as the rest of us might want to know, I doubted we’d have raised our voices.
“I need to consult with the other *shukusenth.* They should have a say in what we do, especially with regards to House Cerullis,” Talira said, “and I’ll accelerate my plans for our sister House.”
“Reasonable,” Pheniks said.
Slapping his knees, he got to his feet.
“If there’s nothing else, I’d like to return to The Library,” he said.
“Actually, there is one more thing.”
Joining Pheniks on his feet, Talira circled her desk and spread her arms.
“You and Feena give your grandmother a hug,” she said, pouting.
While my siblings made their farewells with many an eye roll, I reluctantly climbed out of Korix’s lap. Side by side, we waited until Feena and Pheniks had left, and then, Talira crossed her arms, tapping a finger on an elbow.
“I assume you already know what I’m going to say,” she said.
“I’m acting as the *Lokke Vitras* in name, but Zaeden has authority over me,” Korix said.
Bristling, Talira says, “Can you blame me? With the way you’ve been acting-!”
Korix lifted a hand to stop her.
“I agree with you,” he said. “Not that I’d argue with my *shukusen* if I didn’t.”
Barking a laugh, Talira relaxed.
“You’ve argued with me plenty before,” she said. “Why should now be any different?’
Korix just shrugged, dragging another chuckle from Talira before she turned on me.
“Do you understand what’s expected of you?” she asked.
“Keep the most dangerous man I know from getting into trouble. In other words, I’m supposed to do the impossible again,” I said. “I’ll handle it.”
With a grin, Talira sighed.
“Such flippancy! But I suppose I should expect that from you,” she said. “Now. I’ve had your parents’ skycruiser brought to the landing pad on the roof. No going through the front doors this time.”
That was a dismissal if I’d ever heard one.
“Thank you, grandmother,” I said. “I hope to hear from you soon.”
Korix said nothing, which was typical for him, but when I started for the door, he stayed where he was. Never stopping, I accessed a recorder that I’d modified years ago, one that would give me an instant view of its feed. Without the requirement of process cracking to breach it, I gained what I needed before stepping into the foyer, which meant Talira and Korix didn’t notice my intrusion, or at least, I hoped they didn’t.
Thankfully, the recorders in Talira’s office caught audio as well as visuals, otherwise, this exercise would have been pointless, what with them stiffening into mission mode as soon as the door closed. I could read hardly anything from their body language.
“Yes?” Talira said.
“The scan of my brain that you showed Zaeden,” Korix said. “Is it accurate? Not something that you used to influence him.”
My grandmother would have done something like that? She knew how I felt about Korix! She knew what a misrepresentation of his health would have done to me…
Of course she would have.
“It’s accurate,” Talira said. “I’m sorry for revealing your secret. I thought he knew, considering-”
“No apology necessary. I should have explained things to him before now.”
Korix paused for a moment before continuing.
“Are my contingencies in place?”
For a split second, Talira’s emptiness cracked, but it quickly reasserted itself.
“Look at me, Korix.”
I nearly jumped out of my skin. Besides the time when I’d first learned it, my grandmother had never called Korix by his name, not around me at least. He had a similar reaction, even minimal as it was.
Once she had his attention, Talira said, “I would never, in a million years, go against your wishes with this. Your contingencies are in place, but if you insist on following this course of action, might I suggest that you let yourself live a little before…? Before. Enjoy Zae-zae. Ignore everything I taught you when it comes to that part of your life. I was wrong to stifle your natural inclinations.”
For once, I couldn’t read Korix at all. He’d gone as empty as a human could get, and seeing it fluttered my heart, but not in a good way.
“Advice acknowledged,” he said. “Your orders, my *shukusen?”*
Sighing, Talira rubbed her eyes.
“Go home with Zaeden,” she said. “Stay with him until further notice.”
With a bow, Korix said, “Yes, my *shukusen.”*
Without another word, he marched toward the door, and I withdrew from the recorder, sucking on my lip. What had that been about?
When Korix emerged from the office, I tried to grab his hand, *my* hand, but he brushed past me before I could take hold of it. I didn’t think he meant to slight me with this. In fact, I doubted anything lay behind the near miss. He’d turned inward with everything on the outside relegated to a lower level of cognizance.
This detachment continued throughout our short trip to the roof, only lessening after we’d climbed into my parents’ skycruiser. Korix automatically reached for the console before remembering himself. If he didn’t know the coordinates for my parents’ apartment, I’d be surprised, but for things like this, I was supposed to initiate now. It was disconcerting.
Korix slumped while I inputted our destination, and we lifted into the air. Once we were on our way, I unabashedly stared at him, further abusing my lip with my teeth.
Why had he gone so quiet? Did it have something to do with his brain scan? He had yet to explain what was wrong with him or why he was so concerned about it. And what were these ‘contingencies’ that he’d mentioned?
Much as I wanted to ask these questions and solve the puzzle of him, I wouldn’t, not today at least. From everything he’d revealed in Talira’s office, it was obvious that he’d been through hell for these last five years, more so than normal.
These last five years.
“Ko?” I softly said. “I need to ask something that you might not want to answer. I’m sorry for it.”
My fascination with him had transferred to the view outside, where shuttle and transport hulls were glistening in the afternoon sun.
“What is it?” Korix asked.
Getting the question out took me a couple of tries while my fingers tightened around themselves.
“Was any of it real?” I finally managed to say. “I know that what happened after the Crescent Incident was you. That first time we…”
The past flashed before my eyes, every beautiful moment of the night when our relationship’s dynamic had changed. When we'd let ourselves acknowledge—if not verbally—that we loved each other.
“But everything after that,” I continued with a lump in my throat. “Was all of it *him?* The cold you. The one who-”
Hurt me so badly.
“Please, Ko. I need to know if I was so blind that I didn’t notice you weren’t… you. I need to know how badly I failed you.”
I strained my ears for his answer, which made the time spent waiting for it interminably long. Something clunked—the divider between us lowering—and a slide of cloth over leather ended with Korix’s hip against mine. Reaching around me, he nudged my cheek until I reluctantly met his eyes.
“You didn’t fail me,” he said. “The Ancients may be masters at manipulating emotions, but *they* don’t understand them. *They* especially don’t understand anything associated with love. In fact, those feelings repel the Ancients, so every time you enticed me into your bed or reminded me of why I can’t love you, *it* fled from me. Those brief moments gave me the strength I needed to keep fighting. They’re why I lasted for as long as I did, and yes. All of it was real.
“Every kiss. Every discussion of our mental states that led to us lazily lying against one another or doing other things. Every time you gushed about a book that I’d recommended or I surprised you with your favorite meal. It was me, Zae. Everything.”
The lump in my throat was making it hard to swallow while the burn in my eyes had blurred Korix’s features, but I didn’t want him to see how much his answer had relieved me. If I did, it would show him how distressing I’d found the question.
“Well, good,” I said, sniffing. “I’m glad I didn’t make a complete fool of myself over these last five years.”
With a soft smile, Korix brushed his knuckles below my eye.
“You’ve never looked like a fool to me,” he said.
I wasn’t quick enough to stop my flush this time, so I tried to hide it instead, jerking my head forward. Korix only followed me, though. Even in our close confines, he found a way to straddle my legs, hunching so that he didn’t bang his head on the ceiling. I fully expected him to kiss me, but to my surprise, he simply laid his cheek on my shoulder with the tip of his nose brushing my neck. He ran his fingers through my hair while I circled my arms around his waist, resting my clasped hands on the small of his back.
“When do you think this need to touch one another will fade?” he asked.
“I don’t know,” I said. “I thought I’d lost you. You thought you’d killed me. Those make powerful drives for increased affection, even for us.”
Trapped in warmth, I should be worried, looking to free myself from this position. In fact, if it had been anyone but Korix pushing me down, I probably would have been struggling to get out, but right now, I wasn’t inclined to try. With him against me, I was the most at peace that I could possibly be. I was home.
Speaking of which, maybe I should start *that* conversation, the one that ended with me telling him about Leski. At some point, I should probably confess my new feelings for him too.
“Ko,” I started.
He clamped his mouth on my neck, and a gasp cut off anything I’d wanted to say. When he stayed in place, I released one hand’s hold on the other, digging my fingers into his back.
“Nothing visible, Ko,” I said.
A slight nip of his teeth on my neck preceded the bite of them into my shoulder, quickly relenting. I jerked anyway, unexpected as that had been, and he laughed against my skin.
Fine. If he was going to be like that, I could play too. I waited until he’d lifted his mouth off of my shoulder with a pleased noise coming from him, but then, my fingers were in his hair, pulling him to me. As I covered his wince with my lips, I slid my hands under his shirt, raking my fingernails over his skin. He stiffened, and near-instantly, I relented, pressing him to me instead.
We walked a delicate line when deliberately doing these semi-painful things. Too much and we might enter mission mode, violently defending against a perceived enemy. I’d been *extraordinarily* lucky that it hadn’t happened when I’d bitten him before, abandoning my usual caution by surrendering to instinct as I had. But nothing so calamitous occurred now.
We melted into one another with any space between our bodies unacceptable. I stretched in my seat, chasing Korix’s lips when he came up for air, but he pushed me back down. He shuffled forward while I shimmied beneath him until we were pressed hip to hip, chest to chest, shoulder to shoulder.
But we didn’t take it any further than this. It was enough to be as close as we possibly could in this setting.
Soon enough, the skycruiser landed, and I heard the last of its dings, the ones meant to warn us of our arrival. With a quiet chuckle, Korix sat up as much as he could, sweeping bright eyes over me. He was a mess with his hair sticking up in spikes and his clothing rumpled, but then, I was sure I looked the same.
I’d love to stay here and continue with this, basking in my own little bubble of safety, but I had responsibilities to keep, too many to count. So, sighing, I patted down Korix’s hair, getting his appearance in order, and he did the same for me, collapsing into the seat beside me once we were done.
When he reached to open the door, I grabbed his wrist.
“Before we head inside, there’s something you should know,” I said. “Do you remember that girl I danced with at the Founder’s Day Ball? The one you warned me about?”
Quirking an eyebrow, Korix said, “The pretty one, right? What about her?”
“She’s staying here,” I said, “with me.”
For a split second, I could swear that Korix flinched, but if he did, it was gone so quickly that I doubted myself.
Smirking, he said, “I see. Couldn’t resist you, could she?”
I rubbed the back of my neck.
“Actually, she did most of the attracting,” I said. “She helped me save you, for one.”
Korix’s smile turned brittle.
“She did? That’s… odd,” he said before shaking himself. “She was the unHoused woman you had with you, yes? The one in the middle of changing her features. I didn’t recognize her then, but with what you’ve said…”
When I nodded, Korix’s brittle smile softened slightly.
“I’m happy for you, Zae,” he said. “Let me know how you want to handle things.”
Yes… I’d never had a partner and someone I was… dating? I’d never had two people I was involved with meet before, always working to keep them separate in the past. How did one go about making an introduction like that?
“I will,” I said, “First, I have to make sure that she hasn’t run off. Talira would kill me if I lost her.”
I clambered out of the skycruiser, leaving Korix snorting a laugh behind me. When I scanned the hangar, though, my mood soured.
My parents were waiting by the door into the apartment, as they’d been doing every time I’d returned here in the last two weeks. Great. This would be interesting.
As we approached, the tense state that my parents had been holding dropped from them with mission mode donned in its stead. I’d never seen them like this, so empty and blank, and frankly, it made my skin prickle.
“Mom. Dad,” I said on stopping. “I have another guest with me. My apologies. I should have messaged you about him before now.”
“It wasn’t needed,” mom said.
“Our home is always open to the *Lokke Vitras,”* dad added.
They bowed to Korix, and when I glanced at him, I understood why my parents had gone so hyper-alert, besides the fact that *he* was in their home. He looked perfectly pleasant, presenting a congenial smile, but the warrior in me hissed at the sight of him. Why was he upset?
“Second Stratus Mira and Third Stratus Ximon. A pleasure to meet you in person,” he said. *“Shukusen* Talira often speaks of her son and his wife with pride and for good reason too. Your work in our House has always been beyond reproach.”
“Our thanks,” mom said.
Turning to her, Korix folded his hand in front of him.
“Ah, but we *have* met before, haven’t we, Mira?” he said. “A few decades ago, Talira sent you after me as a nudge to hurry my mission along. You did quite well in our fight before I took you down.”
Mom had fought Korix before? No wonder she and dad had always been afraid of him… and me. Huh.
Flushing, mom said, “High praise indeed, coming from whom it does. Please, First Stratus, make yourself at home here, and don’t hesitate to ask for anything that you might find lacking. We’re happy to serve.”
“Much appreciated,” Korix said. “If this is so, I’d like to ask a question.”
When his smile dropped off his face, my insides clenched.
Without waiting for my parents’ consent, Korix continued, “In our years together, Zaeden has often spoken of his brother and sister, but when you come up, he always brushes the subject off with a laugh, even knowing that I can see the hurt in his eyes. Why is that?”
I jerked toward him. What the *fuck* did he think he was doing?
*“Evushk,* far be it from me to tell you what to do,” I said, barely keeping myself from hissing, “but is this really a good use of our time?”
I followed this up with a message.
*Please, let me handle this myself.*
Before Korix could respond, dad laid a hand on my shoulder.
“No, the *Lokke Vitras* has asked a good question,” he said. “In answer, I’d say that for years, we’ve been horrible parents to Zaeden, letting fear rule us when we should have known better. We most assuredly need to make amends with him, but how we do that shouldn’t be decided by *the man who stole our son from us.”*
Ho.ly. shit. That had been brave. I knew Korix well enough to realize that he’d only respect a fit of harmless defiance like this, but dad didn’t. And still, he’d spoken up.
Korix took everything in, and I could tell he understood what a mistake he’d made in trying to defend me. I could also tell that he was enjoying the resulting drama from the faintest of smiles on his lips, something that had mom tugging her husband to her side.
“I suppose you can supersede my authority for this decision. You’re punishing yourselves enough for your mistake as it is,” he said. “And I am truly… sorry that taking Zaeden as my *kuvesk* proved necessary. I wish I could remain as Lutov’s *Lokke Vitras* until the homeland’s end, but unfortunately, that’s not to be.”
Had I ever heard Korix apologize before? The words had sounded forced from him, and I didn’t mean that he’d found them distasteful. I meant they’d sounded quite literally forced, extracted from where centuries of required disuse had kept them buried.
“We… thank you, *Lokke Vitras,”* mom said with a question in her voice.
When Korix dipped his head to them, I jumped into this break in the conversation.
“Forgive me, but where’s Leski?” I said. “I’d like to check on her.”
Like a dog with a bone, my parents leapt on the subject change.
“She’s the reason we were waiting for you,” mom said. “Something’s come up, but when we tried sending you a message about it earlier, it wouldn’t go through.”
Which meant they’d sent it while I’d been in Talira’s office. The security processes guarding that place were formidable. I should know, having cracked them before.
“And?” I asked.
“Leski’s packing,” dad said. “After Phen and Feena left for headquarters, her father insisted on seeing her. They got into another argument, and when Niklaus left, he told us that he was getting his daughter out of Xygek once he’s finished his business here.”
…He’d done what now?
“That bastard,” I said, keeping my voice cheery. “Thank you for getting this information to me as quickly as you could, dad. Mom. If you’ll excuse me?”
“Of course.”
My parents got out of my way, which was wise on their part. If they hadn’t, I might have run them over.
Once I was in the apartment, my rapid pace became a jog while I clenched my hands into fists.
“I’m going to kill him,” I said. “How dare he… how *dare* he?”
“You really like this girl,” Korix said beside me.
Glancing at him, I said, “Yes, I do.”
Then, I broke into a sprint, hoping I could reach Leski before she made a mistake that she might regret.
# Chapter 78: Helping with Her Father
As we approached my room, we slowed down while a funny look passed over Korix’s face.
“She’s sleeping in the same bed as you?” he asked.
Somehow, it didn’t surprise me that he knew which of these rooms was mine.
“Yes. It’s easier to watch her that way,” I said. “Plus, I sleep better when someone’s in bed with me, something I almost forgot over the years, and for the last two weeks, I’ve needed that aid, what with all the research and worrying about you.”
“I see,” Korix said. “I-”
He stopped before I could sweep us inside, passing a hand over his face.
“This is so strange. I’m used to correcting your behavior when it contradicts what you’ll become, but not only am I unsure about whether our current circumstances make me your *evushk,* but your arrangement with Leski seems to be working for you.”
After waving a hand over me, he pinched his lips together, probably disapproving of my impatient shuffle from foot to foot.
With a sigh, he said, “It’s not important right now. Should I come in with you?”
That was a good question. From a relationship standpoint, introducing Korix to Leski when she was upset didn’t seem like a good idea, but having his support in there would most assuredly help me get through this. Having him at my back had always comforted me in the greatest of ways.
Also, Leski was technically under my supervision, a hostage of sorts. If she insisted on doing what her father wanted, I could use Korix’s help with restraining her. Not that I anticipated or wanted it to go that way.
“As in all things, I could use you,” I said, “but you don’t seem comfortable with the idea. If you’d rather wait outside, you can, so long as you know I’ll be keeping an eye on you.”
Because he was as much my ‘prisoner’ as Leski was.
With a faint smile, Korix said, “Since when has my comfort been a factor in decisions like this?”
I’d always considered it, but in the past, my mission or role had overridden what either of us would have wanted. I didn’t tell Korix this, though.
“I leave it up to you,” I said.
But I was secretly relieved when he entered my room after me, quickly finding a corner to stand in. I was even more grateful when I saw Leski.
That wonderful woman was hunched at the foot of my bed with a packed bag beside her, holding her head in one hand while she petted Ace with the other. She was trying to keep her crying quiet, but it wasn’t going well for her. The effort of it must have masked our entrance because she had yet to look up.
Ace saw me, though, hesitantly wagging his tail as he held perfectly still. When he saw Korix, he wriggled quite a bit, but even then, he didn’t move. Damn. He must like Leski if he’d rather stay with her than greet us.
Edging toward her, I hovered a hand over her shoulder, unsure if touching her was a good idea right now.
“Leski?” I softly said.
When she jerked her head up, it knocked my hand to the side, and Ace bumped his nose beneath it before scurrying past. As soon as Leski laid her eyes on me, her face went red, screwing up with effort.
“Zae, what-?” she stammered. “I-”
Cupping her chin, I wiped away a tear.
“Are you ok?” I asked.
Closing her eyes, Leski chuckled to herself before loudly sniffing.
“Why do you do that?” she asked. “You come in here, see that I’m about to leave after what I said earlier today, and ask whether *I’m* ok. Not why I’m packed or what I’m doing. Whenever there’s a problem, you always look to my happiness first, not your own. Why?”
What she’d said earlier…? Oh. That she was falling for me.
Nope. I wouldn’t let that distract me right now.
“I… don’t know,” I said. “I do that?”
She must be seeing me through rose-colored glasses. I wasn’t as selfless as she believed. I didn’t think. It wasn’t something I’d considered.
“You do,” Korix said.
When I glanced over my shoulder at him, he flashed a knowing grin at me, leaning against a wall while massaging the top of Ace’s head.
“You’re plenty selfish about other things,” he said, “but when it comes to your partners’ happiness, you give your all.”
Huh. That was… interesting.
“Why is he here?” Leski hissed. “He’s a *traitor.* He- he hurt you.”
Oh, shit. I’d forgotten about her animosity toward Korix, or rather, I hadn’t expected it to carry over from our time in the House Cerullis facility. Apparently, it had.
*“Shukusen* Talira and I woke him up earlier today,” I said. “We need his help, especially since our enemy’s no longer influencing him, but the small possibility that *it* still has a hold on him is why he’s with me. I’m keeping an eye on him.”
Hell, Leski was scary when she was angry. With her fair skin and freckles, the flush swarming over her face was much more vivid than it would be on another person, and against it, the silver in her hair glinted like steel in a forge.
“You. Keep an eye on *him,”* she said. “He wiped the floor with you the last time you fought!”
As if I’d needed that reminder.
This meeting of my partners was *not* going the way I’d wanted. Not only that but drama like this was the last thing we should indulge in right now. Unfortunately, I wasn’t sure how to get us back on track, but even still, I tried.
“Thank Mother Time you were there to save my life, then,” I said with a sardonic grin.
Leski didn’t hear me, though. She pushed past me, striding to stick a finger in Korix’s face. With a soft bark, Ace scrambled to get out of the way, but I didn’t blame him. I wouldn’t want to be in between them right now either.
“Because of you…” she hissed. “Because of you!”
Her finger crept closer to Korix’s eye, and as it moved forward, Leski spread the others until it looked like she was reaching out to him. He never retreated from this, just as he never looked away from her.
I wasn’t sure if he could, actually. Enough intensity was blazing from his eyes that the average person might perceive it.
“I didn’t want to hurt Zaeden. Every second that the Ancient manipulated me into attacking him, I fought *it,* but that doesn’t excuse what I did,” he said. “You’re right to dislike me, especially given the context of our association to this point, but please. Don’t ruin Zaeden’s happiness over something that we should handle solely between ourselves, not when he places so much care in maintaining yours.”
Sucking in a gasp, Leski released it in a hiss, lowering her hand as if it were on a marionette string.
“Not fair,” she said.
With a sad smile, Korix said, “I rarely am.”
I had *many* questions—how the hell did they know one another?—but before they could get into it again, I slid between them. Having both of them crowding me was… distracting, but I shunted that aside, focusing my attention away from newly concocted fantasies.
“Ok! I hate to interrupt,” I said, “but Leski, can you tell me what’s going on? My parents said something about a fight with your father.”
“Yes.”
Making a face, Leski returned to the bed, running her fingers over her bag.
“Your discussion with him freaked him out,” she said. “He told me to pack. Apparently, we’re going into hiding for a while.”
Hiding? Where did Niklaus think he could hide? Ibis? Sure, that landmass was much less monitored than the homeland, but two Lutovish would stick out like a sore thumb there, and no other place would make for a viable refuge.
“Is that what you want?” I asked. “If you’d rather duck out of this fight, I’d understand.”
Whirling on me, Leski shouted, *“Hell,* no. Lutov is my home as much as it’s yours, Zae. I want to stand in its defense, but… I also can’t defy my father. Not with something like this, at least. He holds more power than you might think.”
I didn’t doubt it. Live for as long as Niklaus had, and one was bound to gather power to oneself, unless that same person was incredibly incompetent, I supposed. Niklaus had never seemed like that, though.
And he’d use his power to take his daughter’s choice away from her.
With my fingers twitching, I said, “It seems we need to have a chat with your father, then. Remind him who he means to mess with.”
“I’m not asking for your help,” Leski said.
Oh, my determined warrior in training. Crossing to her, I slid my hands along her jaw.
“Good,” I said. “I wasn’t going to do it for you.”
I kissed her forehead.
“Would you like to come with me?” I asked. “This chat could get… heated, and I know that could be uncomfortable for you.”
For a moment, Leski went still, presumably considering the question, but soon enough, she gave a short nod, as if to herself.
“I want to come,” she said, “but I don’t want to confront my father. When we reach him, can I stay out of sight?”
Brushing my thumb over her cheek, I smiled.
“That’s a perfectly reasonable request.”
“Then… we should go now,” Leski said while making a face. “Before I change my mind.”
“It’s ok if you do, you know. No one here would think less of you for it,” I said, “but you’re right. We should go.”
As I led the way out of my room, I requested a check on Niklaus’ positional coordinates, as shown in the Lutovish network. Typically, people could only locate someone else’s array if that person had given the seeker access to it. If someone wasn’t on a person’s accepted list, the seeker couldn’t randomly check where they were, not anonymously at least.
But as with most things, my *Lokke Vitras* privileges granted me *much* greater access to… pretty much everything, actually.
As we headed toward the hangar in my parents’ apartment, Leski flat-out ignored Korix, hurriedly striding to keep him out of view, and once we’d reached a skycruiser, she climbed into the front of it without checking what our seating preferences might be. I glanced at Korix, curious about what his reaction would be, but he gave me nothing, merely settling into the skycruiser’s backseat.
What the *hell* was going on with those two?
After we’d lifted off, heading toward a building on the northern side of the city, I spent a few minutes considering whether I should just ask them that question. Maybe if we had their problem out in the open, we could resolve it.
Before I could open my mouth to try doing that, though, a message from Korix slid into my array.
*I assume that by now, you’ve figured out I’ve known Niklaus and Leski for a while.*
On reading that, it took me more effort than normal to continue facing forward instead of jerking my head to stare at him. I couldn’t believe *he’d* been the one to broach this subject.
*It was beginning to look that way, yeah,* I wrote back. *You planning to tell me about that?*
Receiving his reply took a while, but I could see why he’d taken that time after reading it.
*Unfortunately, this is another secret I can’t tell you about, so there’s not much I can share until you’ve learned the story through other sources. What I can say is that no matter what Niklaus may tell you, I never hurt Leski’s mother. She was… a friend. Of sorts. And I was lucky enough to avoid the circumstances around her death.*
That had to be one of the most carefully worded messages Korix had sent me in a while, but given its context, that made sense. The *death* of Leski’s mother? Had he been involved in that?
Mother Time help me if that were true. I wasn’t sure if I could reconcile him and Leski with that sort of history between them.
For now, I was determined not to worry about it. Since Korix wouldn’t tell me more, I’d just have to… wait. See what came out over time. Maybe I could coerce an explanation out of Niklaus in the coming confrontation.
Soon enough, I had to focus on the world outside the skycruiser as it slowed to a stop at a nearby landing pad. On noting where we were, I frowned.
Unlike in centuries past, Lutov didn’t have a true element of organized crime. Instead, people who wanted to break our laws usually did that on their own, usually in an attempt to better their position in life. There were, however, loose rings of people who operated within the gray area between legal and illegal, and those rings tended to center themselves here, in the middle tiers of Xygek’s north-western tip.
What was Niklaus doing here? Leski had said he meant to complete some business before retrieving her. If said business was taking place here, then…
That was a bad sign.
After getting out of the skycruiser, I met Korix’s gaze over it, and seeing a strange mix of resignation and mission mode already settling over him, I set my jaw.
Bending into the skycruiser, I asked, “Would you like to stay here, Leski? It would probably be more comfortable for you than waiting outside while we talk with your father.”
The further we kept her away from the coming conversation, the better.
Hunched over on herself, Leski softly said, “I don’t know…”
Without a word, I reached over to lower the front seat’s divider before scooching to her side. Pulling her close, I just held her for a moment, waiting for her to relax.
“It’ll be ok,” I said. *“Evushk* and I will tell your father that he can’t bring you with him into hiding. He can’t argue with the *Lokke Vitras,* no matter how much power he might have. He can’t take you away unless you want that.”
“I don’t,” Leski harshly said into my chest. “Stop suggesting that I might!”
Nodding, I said, “Ok. Just remember you have freedom of choice here. You can go with us to confront him. You can wait outside while we do it instead. You can stay here, if that feels easier. You can ride along in my array’s audio and visuals, if you like. Or you can take the skycruiser home, and *evushk* and I can take public transportation back once we’re finished. Whatever you want to do is fine.”
It took Leski a few moments to decide, but soon enough, she pushed me away so she could meet my eyes.
“You’d give me access to such a deep part of your array?” she asked. “It’s not full permissions but still. Letting me see through your eyes is… a lot.”
With a smile, I said, “Of course I would. You’re too good of a person to hurt me through my array, and it would only be for a short time. I wouldn’t leave that function open to access after we’re done here.”
“Well…”
Pausing, Leski blew a strand of hair out of her face.
“While I’m honored that you think so highly of me, I wouldn’t feel comfortable with invading your array to that depth,” she said. “So, could you let me know which building my father is in-?”
“Certainly,” I interrupted, already sending her the place’s coordinates.
Rolling her eyes, Leski continued, “I’ll watch through the recorders around there, and I think… I think I’ll stay here, if you don’t mind.”
“Of course I don’t.”
Leaning forward, I softly kissed her before pulling back with a smile.
“This shouldn’t take long.”
# Chapter 79: That's... Super Suspicious
I closed the skycruiser’s door and headed off, waving for Korix to follow as I did. Not that he’d needed the prompt. He’d already been moving by the time I’d turned around.
As always, people stared as Korix and I moved across the tier, although most of the attention went to him. Unfortunately, that attention seemed even more intense than usual. This, combined with what we knew about this area of Xygek, had Korix much tenser than usual, which made me wince.
“Sorry I couldn’t get us closer,” I said under my breath. “I’d have set us down right outside the storage facility entrance, if I hadn’t thought it would alert Niklaus to our arrival.”
Shaking his head, Korix said, “Don’t apologize. You did the right thing.”
“That doesn’t change the fact that this *isn’t helping* with either of our mental states,” I said before laughing.
Korix watched me from the corner of his eye until I’d calmed down.
At his raised eyebrow, I said, “Technically, we’re disobeying orders right now, you know. Talira told us to relax.”
To my shock, that comment prompted a smile, of all things, from him.
“That’s one of the only perks of the *Lokke Vitras* role, *kuvesk,”* he said. “Sometimes, we get to ignore orders, if that means keeping Lutov safe.”
So, the notion I’d considered earlier today had been right. Good to know.
“You’re right, though,” Korix continued. “Once we’re finished with Niklaus, we should carve out some time to… relax.”
Mother Time, he’d said that word with such distaste, but I understood his reaction. It was hard to take time off when you knew that doing so might get people killed.
“That’s the plan!” I brightly said before grimacing. “Unless something else comes along to ruin it.”
Knowing my luck, that was almost guaranteed. I hoped that, for once, things would go my way over the next few hours.
As we approached the storage facility where Niklaus was located, I looked to Korix for instructions on our plan. It took several seconds of staring at his unchanged profile to remember that technically, I was in the lead this time. I needed to be the one with a plan.
Hell, that was a disconcerting thought.
Still, it wasn’t that hard to do. Before we could enter the facility, I held up a hand for Korix to pause, requesting a connection with my sister all the while.
“Hey, Zae, where are you?” Feena said as soon as she’d accepted. “Phen and I were planning on forcing you into a mini celebration of your partner’s return, what with Talira basically ordering us to take a break. Although… are you out with Leski? We can’t find her at the apartment. Oo! Are you introducing her to the *Lokke Vitras?* How’s that going?”’
I winced. What a string of information and questions coming at me, all at once.
“Actually, I’m in northwest Xygek, about to have a conversation with Leski’s father,” I said. “I might need backup before the end of that, so… I was hoping you’d join me.”
After a long sigh, Feena said, “Zaeden. You aren’t supposed to be working right now.”
“I know, but Niklaus has been harassing Leski all afternoon, which I can’t have. I’d like to address the issue now,” I said, “but after we’re finished, maybe we could meet up with Phen for drinks.”
There was a long silence and then.
“Fine. I guess that’s a decent reason to continue *wearing yourself out,* but I swear, Zae. If you don’t follow Talira’s orders after this…”
“I’ve got it! Message received and duly noted,” I said. “I’ll send you the coordinates for my location.”
“And I’ll see you there,” Feena said before cutting the connection.
When I faced Korix, he had both eyebrows raised.
“Asking for help?” he asked.
I could practically feel the skepticism and disapproval coming off of him.
Rolling my eyes, I said, “That was Feena. She’s been my support team for the last two weeks. Plus, this isn’t an official mission, *evushk.* It’s not like someone untrustworthy will find out about it.”
Except Niklaus but I didn’t think he was the type to share a seeming humiliation with other people.
Korix nodded with those incredulously raised eyebrows coming back down.
“And the plan?” he asked.
Shrugging, I said, “We go in. I scare the hell out of him before reminding him of his place. You reinforce my performance however you see fit.”
“All right,” Korix said. “I’ll follow your lead.”
I suppressed the shudder that wanted to roll up my spine on hearing those words. This situation was so *strange.* I’d been in charge of my own missions before. Of course I had! But that had never happened when I’d had Korix with me.
The change was… I wasn’t sure. Unnerving. But also… good?
I tried not to think about it as I led the way into the storage facility. A handful of people were here, probably finishing up with their work for the day. It was getting fairly late, but still, I wasn’t surprised to find stragglers here.
Lutov and the Houses didn’t have a prescribed work schedule, like we sometimes enforced in Ibis. While most people enjoyed completing their daily pursuits throughout the morning and afternoon, some preferred the isolation found in the evening for their work.
Korix and I avoided these people as much as possible. As we approached the relatively large chamber where we’d find Niklaus, we split up with him heading for the room’s closest entrance while I trotted up a set of stairs into the space’s raised catwalks.
In the chamber, Niklaus was engrossed in conversation with a petite woman, who was listening to him with crossed arms and a look of thinly veiled disgust. Unfortunately, their conversation ended before I could get close enough to overhear it, and the woman stalked off, presumably to complete whatever request Niklaus had just made of her. Tempted as I was to follow her so I could figure out what Leski’s father was up to, I ignored her, getting into position instead.
As soon as the chamber was empty of everyone but Niklaus and myself, I dropped to the floor, rolling to spread my impact with it, and as I returned to my feet, I tackled the other man, landing with my knee between his shoulder blades and my rifle’s barrel against his head.
“Niklaus! Good to see you,” I said. “I heard an interesting rumor about you today. You've decided to take your daughter into hiding with you, huh?”
He tried to respond, but his stalled diaphragm would only allow him a choked sound. On hearing it, I pressed down harder on him.
“No, no! There’s no need to say a word,” I said. “I’m just here to remind you about who you mean to fuck with. So, in case you’ve forgotten, you’re in no position to take what’s mine, and right now, Leski is under *my* protection. You force her to do anything she doesn’t want to do, and I will hunt you down. You’ll run to the ends of the earth, finding refuge when you most need it, but right when you feel safe again, I’ll be there, waiting for you to wake up with a rifle in your face.
“You’ve been there once before, haven’t you? Well, if there’s a second time, I won’t be nearly as merciful to you as I was back then.”
Growling under his breath, Niklaus again tried to speak, but before he could get a word out, Korix melted out of the shadows nearby. Crouching, he hung his wrists over his knees, cocking his head, while the other man turned to stone beneath me.
“Hello, Niklaus. It’s been a while,” he said. “I’d ask how you’ve been but…”
With a smirk, he pointedly ran his eyes over Niklaus’ pinned state.
“Also, in case it wasn’t obvious, if my *kuvesk* is too busy to find you in the proposed scenario, I’ll come after you instead,” he continued. “I’ll soon be coming into more free time than I’ve had in a while, and not only do I like Leski, but I owe her a debt. Then again, you already know that, don’t you?”
How did Korix owe Leski a…?
Not now.
With our threats made, Korix and I hopped to our feet while I hauled Niklaus upright. Rounding to face him, I amiably smiled, folding my hands behind my back.
“Now, is there anything we can help you with?” I asked. “Leski mentioned you were completing some business in the city. It sounded rather urgent.”
Clearing his throat, Niklaus tugged on his shirt’s hem, straightening it.
“I don’t want anything from you… *either* of you,” he stiffly said. “You’ve made your point. I won’t go near my daughter without your say-so. So, please. Leave me be.”
Surprisingly, he seemed to mean that. I was a bit shocked that he’d give up control of his daughter so easily, but I wouldn’t protest getting what I’d wanted so easily.
Although… something about this felt *too* easy.
Narrowing my eyes, I said, “Are you sure? If you wanted, my *evushk* and I could help you finish your task here much more quickly, as I’m sure you know.”
“Yes, that’s true…” Niklaus started.
But he snapped his mouth shut as Korix came to a stop behind me.
“You…” he hissed. “You shouldn’t have anything to do with this. Once I finished my business with Talira years ago, you agreed to *stay away* from Leski.”
…What?
“Perhaps.”
With that one word, Korix raised the hairs all over my body. He’d sounded somewhere between murderous and amused, and that wasn’t a safe place to be with him. Niklaus didn’t seem to have heard the tone in Korix’s voice, given how livid he looked, and I wondered if I’d soon need to stop a fight between them.
“If keeping my distance from Leski was something I agreed to, it’s no longer a concern, considering our circumstances,” Korix said. “Besides, we both know your daughter is more perceptive than the average person. She knows about my visits, Niklaus. I think she might know about your deal with Talira too, something I’m sure you don’t want her learning about.”
“I-” Niklaus started.
For some reason, nothing more than the click of a dry throat came from him after that. Before I could wonder why he seemed so intimidated, he took a step back, glancing between us.
“I had to-” he tried again.
A crash from behind us interrupted him. Whirling toward the sound, I raised my reformed rifle toward the petite woman from before, who was sprinting through an exit from the chamber. The box on the floor behind her, which she must have dropped, explained the noise. That must have been what Niklaus had sent her to retrieve.
When I saw what they box had contained, I fought an urge to both freeze and sprint after the woman to apprehend her. Old-fashioned blocks of explosives lay scattered across the floor between me and the door that she'd escaped through. Niklaus had asked the woman to get him *explosives?*
Korix took off after our new target before I could take a single step. As he flashed out of the chamber at House Kolb speed, I turned back to Niklaus, intent on keeping him contained. He was poised to bolt, so I stepped closer, pressing my rifle into the space above his heart.
“Don’t,” I simply said.
Thankfully, Niklaus froze, which made my job a thousand times easier.
For a moment, I considered simply waiting until Korix returned with his target. Together, we could interrogate both her and Niklaus about *what the hell* was going on here. It seemed he’d been up to something much more illegal than I’d assumed.
But as I thought about doing that and nothing more, I realized the opportunity I’d stumbled into, something that Korix had suggested I find on the way here.
When I turned a cold smile on Niklaus, he flinched, drawing in on himself.
“Considering the conversation we just had, it seems obvious that you and my *evushk* have *much* more history that I'd have expected. Just as obviously, this history seems to concern your wife, someone I find myself increasingly curious about,” I said. “I want to know the story between you all, and you—”
I shoved Niklaus back a step.
“—are going to tell me all about it.”
# Chapter 80: For the Love of Another
Reluctantly, Niklaus started with his story.
“Before Laryse, I had a dull life. I served my liege, Avery Kirst, and the pitiful remnants of their most noble House, giving my all to see it rise from the ashes that the blasted two-tailed aliens had made of it. Even with that purpose, that pursuit of a most glorious goal, something was missing from my life, something I didn’t even know I wanted.
“Until I met Laryse. I know it’s said often about one’s partner, but in my case, she truly was the light of my life. Other women would come and go, tempting in their distraction, but Laryse was the only one who held my devotion.
“She was… a most wonderful wife. Always cheerful. Always the perfect host. A wild tigress in our bedroom. A demure flower in public. We matched each other well, or so I thought.
“After many years of what had seemed like blissful marriage, I noticed that Laryse had become unhappy. She’d taken up a hobby that I could neither understand nor endorse: advocating that we Lutovish loosen our hold on Ibis.
“I ask you: What need have the *bakava,* those primitive animals with their vile customs, for freedom? They require a firm hand if they are to achieve the heights of true civilization.
“And yet, Laryse had become enamored with the idea of letting them try this on their own. It brought shame down on me and the House that I served, which I couldn’t have. Kirst could never again waste away, as it once had.
“So, I tried to distract my wife. Early in our marriage, she had told me about her desperate desire for a child. I had never wanted the same, having seen the brats that House Drav—may they fall from grace—has produced over the centuries. If I was to share my genetic material with them—and hers!—I required them to improve their standards.
“Laryse, however, became more and more despondent, both over my encouragement that she find a new hobby and with what she saw as the death of a dream. So, I made my sacrifice, and several months later, we came home with Leski.
“As I continue with my tale, you must know: I do love my daughter, just as much as I loved my wife. I’ve only ever wanted what’s best for them.
“They, however, come from stubborn stock, and Leski, just like her mother, is easily misguided. We’re not to that point in the story yet, though.
“After Leski joined our happy home, Laryse improved for a time. She was a lovely mother, doting on our daughter at all hours of the day, and Leski, in turn, adored her. Mother Time, you should have seen them together! The glow that only they could bestow on one another was truly a sight to behold.
“It, apparently, wasn’t enough for my wife. She returned to her shameful activities after three short years. Not only that but she began sharing some of her stories from her time in Ibis with our daughter! I couldn’t, *wouldn’t* have that.
“So, I forbade Laryse from continuing with those activities. It hurt me to impose that restriction on her, oh yes! But it had to be done, for Leski’s sake.
“I thought my wife had done as I’d asked. I thought she respected me enough to honor my wishes.
“I was wrong. Laryse continued with her trips to Ibis, her wallowing with those lesser-than, behind my back. I found out about her indiscretion in the worst of ways. One of those who’d given me his Favor, that most sacred of transactions, attempted to disobey one of the commands I’d given him, all because of the rumors swirling around my wife. He thought I’d lost the nerve and will needed to keep him in line, and Mother time, if I didn’t show him how mistaken he was.
“From him, I learned about Laryse’s activities and worse, about her… *infidelity.* She’d whored herself out to one of the *bakava,* delighting in an animal’s carnal passions, *right under my nose!* I tell you. I WOULD NOT HAVE IT!
“But there was nothing I could do about it, not then. I waited. I watched for my opportunity. And all the while, I loved my wife. She had hurt me, yes, and for that, she needed to pay, but while there was still time, I showed my love how devoted I was to her and our child.
“Leski grew up well, if also rebellious. She loved play-pretending as a soldier from Ibis or a Kolb operative, just as much as she excelled in her music and dancing lessons. Laryse encouraged both of those traits, and I… allowed it.
“Then, my chance finally came. Another of the *bakavas*’ incompetent rebellions came along, and to my delight, Laryse’s lover became embroiled in it.
“I contacted *shukusen* Talira. I gave her any tidbits of the rebellion’s plan that I could coax out of my wife. I didn’t realize how complicit she’d become with their activities until it was far too late.
“On one of her trips to Ibis, Laryse was caught up in a Kolb wipe of a rebellion safehouse. I was told that she died fighting at her lover’s side.
“I mourned her. How I grieved! But Laryse wasn’t quite finished with me.
“You see, Talira’s operatives had gathered evidence of my wife’s treachery, her involvement with the rebellion, over the course of our dealings, and conniving woman that she is, she quickly revealed this evidence to me, meaning to hold it over my head so that I would remain in her thrall. I could not let any whispers of treason surround me and therefore, my beloved House.
“The ploy worked for a while. That is how I know your *evushk* and why Leski may have seen him in the past. In the years after Laryse’s death, Talira would send him to check in with me, ensuring that I remained obedient and most infuriatingly, that Leski was well-treated.
“I would never harm my daughter! Even with all her faults, she is my pride and joy.
“Eventually, though, enough was enough. I made a deal with your grandmother. I would owe her a favor, which was more of a concession than you might think, and in exchange, Talira would erase Laryse, both the evidence of her treason and any record that she had once lived. Years later, Talira traded that favor for the refuge you needed from Alezand and the Ancients.
“Thus, ends the tale you require, most honored one. Is it everything you wanted?”
# Chapter 81: A Daughter's Fury
I was pretty sure that I was going to be sick. Opposite me, Niklaus looked so self-assured, as if he expected me to vindicate him because of what he’d shared. I’d never wanted to smack that look off of someone’s face more than I did then.
When I failed to say a word, he raised an eyebrow.
“Well?” he asked. “Are you satisfied?”
No but then, I didn’t think I ever would be with this man.
The specifics of his story weren’t the motivation behind my sudden anger. Sure, he’d said or at least implied some terrible things, and in no way, shape, or form did I agree with his actions or his underlying philosophy, but I’d dealt with worse as the *Lokke Vitras* to come. *Much* worse.
This story infuriated me because it was partially about Leski. What it suggested about her upbringing… it horrified me, and confusing as I found it, a resonating pang of recognition had risen from within once I’d understood what she might have been through.
These things made me rage incarnate. They were why I couldn’t move or speak because much as I might like to, I couldn’t hurt this man, and right now, I didn’t trust myself not to.
Thank Mother Time, Korix returned with his target before I had to decide what to do. Without a word, he secured the petite woman to the end of some industrial shelves before coming to take Niklaus’ elbow. After he’d frog-marched the other man to another set of shelves, he returned to me.
I didn’t know what he’d said to keep Niklaus still as a statue where he’d left him, but I was both glad and disappointed to see it. I *really* wanted to chase that man down right now.
Glancing at the rifle still trembling in my hand and the glare I was directing at Niklaus, Korix said, “He told you?”
I just *looked* at him, and he sighed while hugging his chest.
“I hoped he might,” he said with his gaze pinned to the ground.
“Is it true?” I whispered.
Sharply glancing at me, Korix tightened his grip on his chest.
“No matter what he said, I didn’t kill her. Talira was gracious enough to keep me away from that mission because she knew Laryse was my…”
He trailed off, looking away, and I found enough focus to wonder about that. She’d been his what? Informant? Acquaintance? *Friend?*
Shit, that would make this so much worse.
“But the rest?” I asked. “Blackmailing Niklaus with the circumstances of Laryse’s death?”
“Yes, that part’s true.”
Before I could even consider how that confirmation had affected me, Korix hesitantly reached out to touch my arm, quickly dropping his hand once he had.
“I had to make sure Laryse’s daughter was safe,” he said. “Niklaus has never been… kind with his words, and he kept Leski isolated when she was home from lesson rotations. I had to make sure things were at least a little stable for her. It was the least I could do.”
“I see.”
That was... acceptable reasoning for Korix's part in all the shit I'd just heard.
Slowly, I took a breath, held it, and released it, and with it went all of the white-hot, pure *emotion* I’d been bathing in.
“This will make things complicated between the two of you, won’t it?” I said.
With the smallest of grimaces, Korix nodded.
“You can see why I was… concerned after you first danced with her,” he said. “I’m glad she makes you happy, but you couldn’t have picked a more difficult person to resume your dating life with.”
Literally *anyone else* would have been easier but…
“She’s worth the struggle to make this work,” I said. “Will you help me, Ko? I know you’ve never approved of my insistence on maintaining my emotional attachments but-”
His palm filled my vision, almost touching my nose.
“Zae, you’re the smartest person I know,” he said. “After the years you’ve spent with me, you know your role intimately. If you think you can have these relationships while also holding to the absolute objectivity that’s required of the *Lokke Vitras,* then who am I to argue with you?”
He thought too highly of me. Even I didn’t know if I was capable of what he was suggesting, but I’d stay in contact with the people I loved anyway.
Because Korix always forgot about one thing when it came to who I was. Despite my service to the Houses, I loathed them, and this made me more carefree with my duties than he’d ever be.
“Does this mean you’ll help me?” I asked.
Sighing, Korix said, “Yes, I’ll help with Leski. Of course I will.”
“That’s good,” I said with a nervous smile. “It looks like you can get started with that now.”
I nodded toward one of the doors, where a slight woman with silver hair had slipped inside. She was taking tremulous steps toward our prisoners in the corner, all while the rifle in her hand shook.
“Oh, no…” Korix breathed. “She must have overheard us.”
I eyed Korix. Of course Leski had been listening to Niklaus’ confession. There was a recorder in the chamber’s corner, aimed right at where he and I had been standing as he’d talked, and Leski had mentioned using those to watch our confrontation.
…But Korix hadn’t heard that bit, already out of the skycruiser at the time. Right.
Then, Leski jerked her rifle up, and Korix and I *moved.* As soon as I reached him, I jerked Niklaus to the side right before an energy bolt hit the shelves behind him, near where his head had been. Meanwhile, Korix had hold of Leski’s wrist, pulling it and her rifle toward the ground.
“Stop!” he said. “It won’t help. Trust me.”
When Leski snapped her eyes to him, I could swear the heat in them would melt through Korix, but fortunately, he stood strong, unchanged in the face of her rage.
“Trust *you?”* she snapped. “Why *the fuck* would I do that?”
“Because I’ve been where you are!”
As that shout rang in the chamber, I rapidly blinked, trying to process what I’d heard. Where she was…? No, I didn’t understand. What had Korix meant by that?
Leski still looked murderous, but she’d loosened her body, and this let Korix cautiously release his hold on her.
Lowering his voice, he said, “It hurts, doesn’t it? Knowing what he did. The inability to comprehend how he could do something so monstrous to someone you both loved, something you couldn’t imagine attempting. The pain that he’s caused you by proxy. It feels like it’s the whole world, like it’s the only thing in existence. Like you’ll never feel anything but that, and you have to release it somehow. All of that indignant wrath has to go *somewhere,* and to you, the best outlet for that must seem like him, right?”
Leski wrinkled her nose into a snarl.
“Who else?” she hissed through gritted teeth.
“It doesn’t help. If anything, taking revenge like that will only make it worse.” Korix said. “Besides, he’s not worth it. Why would you give him the honor of receiving your emotional work? You’re right to be angry. Of course you are! But don’t give any of that energy to the likes of *him.”*
For the longest of moments, Leski wrestled with this idea, but soon enough, she slumped, dissipating her rifle.
“You’re right about that at least,” she said. “My whole life I’ve tried to be a decent person and daughter for him, and the entire time, he’s been hiding this? I’ve wasted enough of my life on my father.”
Beside me, Niklaus bristled.
“Young lady, I-!” he started.
I painfully twisted my hold on his arm before he could get anything else out. His resulting yelp brought me more joy than I cared to admit.
“You must have forgotten the situation you’re in, Niklaus. It’s mighty suspicious, looking quite treasonous in its own right,” I said. “If I were you, I’d keep my mouth shut until I knew exactly how much trouble I was in.”
While Niklaus hissed at my obvious disrespect, he did seemingly hear the wisdom in my words, which might be a first for him.
“His situation is even worse than you might think, *kuvesk,”* Korix said. “I encountered some *interesting* evidence while collecting our second prisoner. It’s why returning here took me so long.”
“Oh, really?” I said while turning a cold smile on Niklaus. “Why don’t you sit down? It seems we need to have a long conversation soon, and as I’ve told you before, I prefer to limit the work I must do. Don’t make me chase you down.”
White as a sheet, Niklaus gulped while folding to the ground. I’d turned to join Leski and Korix when I received a request for connection from Feena.
After I’d accepted it, she opened with, “Uh… Zae? How many of these prisoners do you want me to keep an eye on?”
I could feel my eyebrows rising toward my hairline.
“Prisoners?” I asked.
As in more than one?
“Yes…?” Feena drawled.
At the same time, Korix said, “That would be the evidence I mentioned. Are you speaking with Fourth Stratus Feena? She should join us so we can more easily coordinate.”
Wincing, I nodded at Korix while telling my sister.
“Come to us for now. The prisoners will keep until we’ve discussed the situation.”
“All right. Be there in a minute,” Feena said.
As she cut the connection, I hurried to Leski, taking her hand. The moment I touched her, she threw herself at me, burying her face in my chest. I held her as tight as I could, trying to remind her that she wasn’t alone right now.
Freed from his self-imposed task, Korix stalked toward Niklaus and the petite woman, presumably to give us space. I was grateful to him for that. Much as the conflict between him and Leski wasn’t nearly as dire as I’d first suspected, I knew they still had a lot to work out before they’d feel comfortable near one another.
After a moment, Leski started speaking into my chest. It was hard to pick out what she’d said, but I heard enough to understand what she was trying to convey.
“You have *nothing* to apologize for,” I said while squeezing her. “If anyone should do that, it’s me. I should have waited until later to ask Niklaus about your mother, not done it when you were watching us.”
“No, no!”
With a wet sniffle, Leski pushed away from me, leaving her hand over my heart.
“I’m glad you did it,” she said. “I’ve needed to know about this for years. I’m a little pissed that I only found out about it now, when my father had no idea I was listening.”
“He should have told you what happened to your mother as soon as he found out about it,” I firmly said.
Nodding, Leski said, “Yes, he should have. He should have done a lot of things.”
She shot an ugly look at a spot behind me, and I wanted to smack myself for keeping her in the same room as the source of her stress. Gently, I guided her toward a door.
“I know this is a lot,” I said. “Is there anything I can do to help? I’ll probably be dealing with your father for a little while, but otherwise, I’m at your disposal.”
Leski choked out a laugh.
“You’ve been so kind to me throughout this, Zae. I think I’ve put you through enough, considering it wasn’t your problem to begin with,” she said. “So, please. Don’t worry about me. I know how to take care of myself, although…”
She paused, stopping us outside of the chamber.
“I’d like to visit my partner, Kayel, if that’s all right,” she said. “He’s nearby, and his status shows that he's available. I’d like to… I don’t know. I guess I just need to blow off some steam.”
“That makes perfect sense to me,” I said. “Would you mind waiting here until someone can go with you to his place? With all of this—”
I waved a hand toward the room we’d left behind.
“—I’m worried that someone might try something unwise within the next few hours. I know you can take care of yourself, but it would ease my mind if you had some backup right now.”
“I don’t mind waiting,” Leski said with a hesitant smile. “I need to talk to Kayel first anyway.”
Breathing out a sigh of relief, I nodded.
“Thank you.”
Framing Leski’s face with my hands, I angled her head so that I could press my lips into her brow.
“I’ll just be a few minutes.”
Feena had made her appearance by the time I returned to Korix, listening intently as he explained what had happened.
“I see,” she said when I reached them. “This is an… unfortunate situation.”
“And fucked,” I said under my breath.
Glancing at me, Feena said, “That too. So, what do you need from me?”
Before I could answer that question, Korix cleared his throat, pointedly meeting my eyes.
“So you know, I alerted Talira to the situation as soon as it started getting out of hand,” he said. “She’s sending several lower Strata here to bring in the prisoners. She also ordered me to convey a strictly worded reminder: that you and I are supposed to—and I quote—“Sit our asses down and fucking relax, you raging workaholics’.”
While I groaned, Feena burst into laughter.
Wiping her eyes, she said, “Does that mean you’re keeping your promise then, Zae? Because if so, we’ll need to grab Phen from the Library before heading out for drinks. He and I weren’t sure how long your little excursion would take, and you know what he’s like when he’s found a new source of fascination.”
Completely fixated on it to the detriment of everything else in his life? Yes, I was aware.
“I need to take Leski to one of her partner’s places first,” I said. “Maybe we can meet-”
“Wait. Let me handle Leski,” Feena said. “You two can grab Phen.”
“Oh, yeah?” I said. “What makes you think that’s the best plan?”
Sighing, Feena hung her head while resting her hands on her hips.
“Based on the *very little* the *Lokke Vitras* has told me, it seems clear that Leski’s going through a rough time right now,” she said. “She could probably use some time with a pseudo-sister, if you know what I mean.”
Oh. Yes, given how badly her *father* had failed her and how recent the knowledge of that failure was for her, it made sense that Korix’s presence or mine might be temporarily problematic for Leski. In case Feena was right about this theory, I thought it best to go along with her scheme.
“So, you’re with Leski while *evushk* and I handle Pheniks,” I said. “That sounds like a plan. How long until the lower Strata arrive?”
“Soon enough,” Korix said. “We can leave when you’re ready.”
Quickly, I glanced over the room once more. Korix had restrained Niklaus in the same manner as the petite woman, and the spilled explosives had been returned to their box, which he’d marked for retrieval. With those tasks done, there was nothing left for us here.
“Let’s get moving, then,” I said. “The sooner we grab Pheniks, the sooner we can all take a break.”
# Chapter 82: A Peek into the Past
“Phen? You here?” I called as Korix and I entered the Library.
As the question echoed back to me, I was hit by a strong sense of déjà vu, probably from my visit here… this morning.
Damn, today had been a long one.
I sent a message to my brother, asking where he was, but also beckoned for Korix to follow me. There was a good chance Pheniks wouldn’t respond to me. He was almost at the peak of one of his manic episodes, and when that happened, nothing except his current fixation existed for him. He might not even see my message.
So, I took us to the section of the Library where Pheniks had been spending most of his time. It was up a few floors and tucked away from the balconies. Two of the unnerving arches that led… elsewhere framed a handful of shorter bookcases here. The ethereal blue light in their metal frames aided the scattered orbs nearby in illuminating the shelves and tables between, all of which were covered with displaced books.
Pheniks wasn’t here, but still, I sighed in exasperation and understanding when I saw a magnet pinning a sock to one of the arches. A long time ago, my brother had established this as his way of letting me know when he was, as he put it, ‘entirely too preoccupied to deal with my shenanigans’. I think he took a little joy out of appropriating a signal most commonly associated with sex for something he considered more useful.
Still, he didn’t use it often, just when he felt like he was on the verge of a breakthrough, so I was a little loathe to interrupt his activities, no matter what our plans might have been before. That plus my aversion to going through the arches might have had me dismissing this side trip as a waste of time, but this wasn’t Pheniks’ home, where everything he’d need to see himself through a manic episode would easily be within reach. If pre-prepared meals weren’t a few steps from his workstation, he might forget to feed himself over the next few days.
So, I trudged over to the arch, unpinning my brother’s sock from its surface. Glancing at Korix, I waved at the arched entrance.
“Have you been through one of these before?”
With a tight smile, Korix said, “Once, a long time ago.”
“So, you know what to expect.”
That hadn’t been a true question, but Korix nodded anyway.
“All right, then,” I said. “Let’s go.”
Bracing myself, I stepped through the arch and nearly stopped short on the other side, completely taken aback by my surroundings. What in the...?
Fortunately, I remained cognizant enough to make room for Korix before putting my full attention on the task of figuring out where the hell I was.
The first thing I noticed was that it was cold, worse than winter back home, worse even than perpetually snowed-in Zoln. Typically, I liked cold places, but this was *intolerable.* I was surprised that Pheniks, who loathed the cold, had opted to stay here rather than gathering any materials he might have needed before heading back through the arch.
I did my best to hide my discomfort, suppressing my shivering as much as possible, but Korix still saw it.
Of course he did.
Without a word, he reached into a pocket before handing me a set of thermal protection, even as he donned his own.
Narrowing my eyes at him, I said, “I swear, it’s like you have some sort of summoning crystal or a separate dimension in your pockets sometimes.”
“It’s just another facet of preparedness, *kuvesk,”* he said. “Nothing more.”
Not once did his expression change or his tone switch out of dry levity, but somehow, I knew he was teasing me. Huffing, I rolled my eyes.
“Come on.”
As I slapped my thermal protection on, I moved away from the arch, running my eyes over our strange surroundings. The stone walls and floors around us were broken up by intervaled, narrow windows, looking out over a frozen landscape. The glass in them looked to have been added later than the place’s original construction, given the sporadic cloudy blobs and bubbles of it gathered around the sills and grilles.
Outside, I could see nothing but snow and the rounded roof of a single hangar in the distance. I wondered what sort of aircraft, if any, it contained.
Exposed cables ran along the ceiling, mixed in with the occasional industrial light. Korix and I followed these while looking for signs of recent activity.
When I requested it, our position on the world’s map placed us on the northern ice caps, near the pole, which confused me. So far as I was aware, no one in Lutov or Ibis had traveled here in decades, at least not publicly. Sure, Cerullis had sent out the occasional research team past Lutov’s borders, but that had stopped shortly before I’d taken up my current role, all due to that switch in focus that we’d recently found out about.
Humanity certainly hadn’t built permanent structures up here, not in recorded history at least. Why do that when much more habitable environments existed on the globe?
So, why were Korix and I exploring a veritable fortress here?
The hallway we were walking down soon ended in a massive set of doors whose arched point nearly reached the ceiling of the two-story foyer we’d entered. One of them had been cracked open, a potential sign of my brother’s presence here.
Korix and I followed his trail, although our search ended in the next room. The place was a visual example of our world’s history throughout the modern ages. The bones of the place, the fortress’ rough stonework and caulking, framed its more technological contents, but even these remnants of an early digital age paled in comparison to the present-day equipment surrounding my brother.
He was sitting beside a generator of some kind with its innards exposed and his hands deep within it. As Korix and I approached, I noted him muttering under his breath, and when he brought one hand up to scratch his head, it was covered in a greasy substance. When I stopped opposite him, he failed to look up, which made me sigh.
Korix raised his eyebrows, pointing toward another section of the room, and distractedly, I waved him off. I wondered all the while why a sudden sense of melancholy was washing over me on watching my brother.
“Phen?” I softly said, trying not to spook him.
Clicking his tongue, Pheniks said, “I’m busy. Go away.”
Yes, I could see that. And I didn’t want to interrupt him but…
“I just need enough time for two questions, Phen. I promise I’ll leave you alone afterward,” I said. “Please.”
Tsking, Pheniks pulled his hands out of the generator, glaring at me.
“What?” he snapped.
I launched right into it, knowing he wouldn’t tolerate any ‘bullshit social practices’ right now.
“Do you have enough food and water to get you through the next few days?”
Rolling his eyes, Pheniks said, “Of course. I brought some pre-packaged meals with me. We’re not kids anymore, Zae. You don’t have to keep me alive like you did back then.”
Sure… because he’d never forgotten about his physical needs since then or anything.
Still, I simply nodded before asking my second question.
“Can Feena and I check on you while you’re here?”
Grimacing, Pheniks said. “Sure. Just don’t-”
“-talk to you. I know,” I finished.
With a grunt, my brother went right back to what he’d been doing before I’d interrupted him, and I softly chuckled.
“Have fun,” I said before turning on my heel.
Korix was flipping through a notebook on a nearby table when I joined him.
“He’s not coming with us?” he absently asked.
“No.”
“Well, I can see why your brother wants to give this place his full attention, at least,” Korix said before meeting my eyes. “I think he might have stumbled upon one of the Founder’s labs.”
“What, really?!” I said.
I took the notebook from Korix, quickly glancing over a few lines, and nearly stopped breathing when I ran across a group of initials at the bottom of a report. Several of these held no special meaning for me but-
“A.C.?” I whispered. “Do you think that could be Asher Cerullis?”
Shrugging, Korix said, “Maybe. I was more interested in the crest on the front page. It’s nearly identical to the one that the Founders used for their troops during the war. Is the Founder for Cerullis somehow more important than the others in our current circumstances?”
Right. Korix had been in stasis when the subject of Asher Cerullis had first come up.
“We have reason to believe that he spent a lot of time researching the Ancients when he was alive,” I told him.
“Hmm.”
With intensity, Korix glanced over the room, landing his gaze on the notebook I was holding.
“I see.”
Of course he did. This place could hold the answers we needed.
A heavy silence fell between us, and in it, I knew that each of us was fighting an itch to stay here. Now that I knew what this place was, I badly wanted to help Pheniks with his project but…
“It’s too bad that Talira *ordered* us to relax,” I made myself say.
“Yes,” Korix said through gritted teeth.
Given, she *had* said we could continue with our research,. That’s what staying here would involve, right?
But Feena was waiting for us back in Lutov. I… didn’t want to disappoint her.
Besides, Talira’s orders had implied that we should be ready for whatever she might throw at us over the next few days. Right now, I could handle an easy mission, sure, but I shouldn’t trust the fate of Lutov—which the mission to defeat the Ancients would involve—to my current, somewhat shaky mental state. Much as I might hate to admit it, I… needed to rest.
Ugh.
“Pheniks will be looking over things here,” I said, at least partially to myself. “I couldn’t tear him away now, even if I wanted to. Plus, we can always join him tomorrow morning.”
“That’s… true,” Korix said before meeting my eyes. “So, drinks?”
“Drinks,” I said, nodding.
With a heavy sigh, Korix moved toward the doors to leave the room. As soon as his back was turned, I stuffed the notebook I was holding into the back of my waistband, pulling my shirt over it.
Yes, I meant to get some rest tonight, but while doing that, I could let myself read through a fascinating set of scientific reports. It would be just like listening to the narrations of Lutov’s ancient war that I enjoyed when I had free time. That wasn’t work, right?
...Right.
# Chapter 83: One Man's Power
Later that night, I slipped out from under Leski’s arm, cautiously disarming the alarms around my bedroom’s door. I hadn’t been able to sleep, unable to after the extreme busyness of yesterday. I *should* be exhausted. We’d been running back and forth across the city all day, and things had been so hectic. But there’d also been so many changes and developments, one of which felt particularly unresolved.
Niklaus. What had he been doing in that storage facility earlier? It had looked like he’d been gathering weapons again, but who had they been for? Cerullis? Some other party unrelated to our current crisis?
And where had he meant to send them? Where had he gotten them from? Could we close that leak in Lutov’s security?
I wouldn’t be able to truly sleep or relax until I’d gotten answers to those questions and the many others flitting through my mind. So, I’d decided to get them.
As I headed toward my parents’ hangar, I checked on Leski and Korix, making sure they were asleep or otherwise occupied.
Leski was still as deeply unconscious as when I’d left her just a moment ago. She’d arrived here soon after Korix and I had returned from our time with Feena. Korix had stopped her soon after she'd come home, pulling her into a sitting room for a chat. Or I guessed that was what they were doing. Despite having access to the recorders in the room—Korix hadn't blocked them—I hadn't intruded on them, given how clear it was that they were having a moment in private.
Once they'd left that room, Leski hadn’t wanted to do much talking with me, climbing into bed for cuddling and sleep instead. I couldn’t blame her for that. Much as yesterday had been hectic for me, I knew it had been more so for her, considering how deeply its events had dug into her personal life.
Korix was… still awake. I didn’t know why I’d expected he wouldn’t be.
Last night, he’d been stoic and withdrawn while Feena and I had toasted his return. I could tell our celebration had pained him to a degree, even with me trying to minimize our focus on him. It hadn’t helped that he’d refused to join us in our drink, although I’d expected that. In all the years I’d known Korix, I hadn’t once seen him indulge in alcohol.
After we’d come home, he’d quickly excused himself, off to the bedroom my parents had offered him. He was there now, pacing a furrow into the carpet. Every time he passed the room’s door, he’d pause for a moment before forcing himself forward once more, which made me smile. I had no doubt that he was struggling with the same problem I’d recently been facing.
Diverting course, I was soon outside his door, unsurprised in the least to watch him stop and face it in the split second before I knocked.
“Come in,” he said.
I did so, grinning as soon as our eyes met.
“Are you having trouble sleeping too?” I asked.
He settled an incredulous look on me, and I laughed.
“Feel like running a couple, last minute errand with me?” I said. “Something that might help us ‘relax’?”
Narrowing his eyes, Korix cocked his head.
“Niklaus?” he slowly said.
Yes... among other things.
When I nodded, Korix's lips twitched. He spoke not a single word about ‘orders’ or our ‘duty’, merely sweeping past me and into the hall.
“Sounds fun,” he called over his shoulder.
Mother Time, I loved how in sync we usually were. I hurried after him.
It didn’t take us long to reach House Kolb’s headquarters. Once we arrived, Korix and I snuck through hallways and floors and lifts until we’d reached the holding cells where Niklaus and his associates had been placed.
A lower Strata was standing guard outside the area. When they saw us coming, their eyes widened while they snapped to attention, but that was the only sign of deference they showed.
*“Lokke Vitras,”* they said without any hesitation or awe in their voice.
Briefly, they swept their eyes over me, but they made no comment about my appearance. Likewise, I said not a word, fully aware that having Korix take the lead here would get us what we wanted much more quickly. Fortunately, he’d also decided to ignore our disconcerting switch in station.
“I’m here to interrogate a prisoner brought in yesterday evening,” he said.
He proceeded to give the guard a description of the petite woman who’d been with Niklaus last night. I didn’t pay it much mind, already heading to an interview room. Korix joined me within a few minutes, and together, we waited in silence for our prisoner.
She arrived soon enough, gently tugged along by the elbow. After leading her to the chair across a wide table from us, the guard bowed to us and left, firmly closing the door behind them.
While the petite woman nervously glanced between me and Korix, I scanned her status in her array. Avaylan, Eighty Stratus of House Zan. She’d proudly proclaimed her chosen occupation as a landscape designer for the various parks across Xygek, which made me wonder what she’d been doing so far from any of them last night.
After a beat of uncomfortable silence, she cleared her throat.
“You’re here to interrogate me, right? You should ask me about the fertilizer I’ve been using in my most recent project,” she whispered. “I know I shouldn’t suggest anything right now, but… please, start there.”
She dramatically raised her eyebrows, as if trying to convey something with her facial expression alone, and I pursed my lips. Korix took a breath to answer her, but I spoke up first, certain I was missing something.
“Sure…” I drawled. “Why don’t you tell us about that?”
When Avaylan glanced at Korix, as if asking for his permission, he waved for her to continue.
“Well, I’m sure you’re both aware that certain types of fertilizer are among the many items restricted from the general populace,” she said, nervously lacing and unlacing her fingers. “I typically use ones that are more organic in nature and therefore, more friendly to the environment, but a certain… client of mine has requested that I switch to one with a high concentration of ammonium nitrate on his estate. I had to get special clearance so I could access both that and the more… explosive material it’s sometimes stored with.”
…Which explained why someone from House Zan had been able to get their hands on that crate yesterday.
Considering how willing she seemed to give us answers to our obvious questions, why was Avaylan providing them in such a roundabout way? Why not straight up tell us what we needed to know?
“I see,” Korix said, seemingly nonplussed by her indirectness. “And this client of yours. Did he mention why he’d requested the change? Or perhaps you can tell us why you felt obligated to listen to a man with much less expertise than you in gardening?”
Biting her lip, Avaylan nodded.
“I’ll… try to explain,” she said.
But she only sat there, fiddling with her fingers for several, tense heartbeats. When I purposefully shifted in my seat, she sucked in a breath, glancing at me, before making herself continue.
“My… client has recently gotten some advice about fertilizer from his… friend in House Cerullis. His friend likewise heard about this new technique from a *rival* in my House, someone they’ve been trying to *hurt* for decades.”
The emphasis she placed on those two words, paired with her even more exaggerated look of wordlessly conveying something, had me exchanging a glance with Korix.
“Interesting…” he quietly said. “What else can you tell me about this rival?”
Avaylan breathed out a sigh, relaxing into her chair with a hesitant grin.
“I hear he works at a facility where my House assesses alien tech,” she said. “I think my client may have sent his rival a gift there recently, but I can’t be sure.”
Oh fun. It looked like Korix and I might need to make another side trip soon.
“And his other question?” I asked, tipping my head toward Korix. “Why were you following your client’s advice?”
Damn, Avaylan had gone from relieved to nervous again in an eyeblink.
“I… I had to. He…”
Gulping, she looked away.
“A long time ago, I got myself into a spot of trouble and asked him to help me out of it,” she whispered, “but as you know… or no, never mind. Maybe you don’t. My client really likes it when he can control someone.”
Pausing, she met Korix’s eyes.
“Absolutely control them,” she said, “so that even their House no longer has a hold on them. He wouldn’t help me until… until that had happened. Yeah.”
My mouth had gone dry. Only one thing in Lutovish society—one socially acceptable thing, at least—could give someone the type of control Avaylan was referring to.
Stiffly, Korix said, “Niklaus holds your Favor?”
Emptying her lungs, Avaylan slumped, fixing her eyes on her hands in her lap. She refused to look up as she nodded.
A deep silence fell while I tried to wrap my mind around this revelation and everything it had spawned in me. Given how loosely regulated our economy was, favors might be the only pseudo-form of currency that anyone took seriously, but there was a difference between owing someone a favor and giving them *your* Favor.
The first was a one-time transaction, given as payment for someone’s help or advice. The second was an intrinsic part of a person, something you were only meant to give when you found another person or cause that you wholeheartedly admired. It was the only way to step out from your House’s control, but giving someone else your Favor also wasn’t done lightly, given how fraught with danger it could be.
Once the exchange was complete, it was permanent, something that would incur the worst of shame if the giver reversed it, and with it, the recipient gained total control of you. They could order you to do anything, up to and including ending your own life, and nobody could do a thing to reverse those orders.
Hence, why people usually gave someone their Favor only after that person had earned their trust or when in the direst of circumstances. What could Avaylan’s ‘spot of trouble’ have been to have forced something like that from her?
Why did the idea that she’d done it make me both physically ill and so faint that I was afraid I might lose consciousness?
“And the others with you yesterday?” Korix said into the pregnant pause. “Same circumstances?”
“Yes,” Avaylan said. “And they’re not the only ones.”
Shit. I hadn’t seen how many people Korix had apprehended at the storage facility, but that didn’t matter. It was bad enough that Niklaus, someone I found morally reprehensible, held one person’s Favor. That he could hold so many of them…
Was this the source of power that Leski had mentioned her father had?
“How many?” Korix asked.
Looking up at us through her hair, Avaylan said, “I don’t know the exact number, but it’s a lot. A veritable army’s worth.”
“I see,” Korix once more said. “How… unfortunate.”
That was one way of putting it.
Still struggling to subsume an intense wave of *emotion,* I clung to silence, waiting for Korix to either ask another question or end this interview. After a moment, he sighed.
“Thank you for your cooperation, Eighth Stratus,” he said.
He made a subtle motion at a nearby recorder, and the guard from earlier soon came to take Avaylan away. Once we were alone, Korix faced me, simply watching me until I felt like I could breathe again.
“Niklaus can’t keep those people,” I eventually managed to say.
Without saying a word about the fight he must surely see in me, Korix nodded.
“And he won’t,” he said. “Given how deeply his crimes have gone, Talira will most certainly have him dissolve any holds on Favor that he has, and he’ll thank her for her mercy. He should be stripped of his House for this, at the least, but I believe it’s safe to say that losing his power will be a better punishment.”
“Good,” I stiffly said.
And knowing that horrible situation would soon be resolved let me release my tension in a rush.
“Good,” I repeated. “So, this ‘gift’ to a rival that Avaylan mentioned. I’d like to look into it. Make sure nothing disastrous is coming from that end of our conflict. We should start by locating where this rival works. Will you join me?”
I had an idea, besides relying on the lower Strata to find the information for us, for how to achieve that goal, and fortunately, it aligned perfectly with my second objective for tonight.
Raising an eyebrow, Korix said, “Do I have a choice?”
Right. Because I was supposed to be keeping an eye on him. And Leski.
“Ughh…” I groaned, leaning back in my chair. “Let’s just get out of here, yeah?”
Waving toward the door, Korix said, “After you.”
# Chapter 84: Preparing the Way
“Remind me why we’re here again?” Korix asked.
The city's lights cast a glowing corona around the towers on all sides of us, but none of them stretched upward as far as the one Korix and I were standing on. Well, none of them but the six House headquarters, the closest of which was waiting across a narrow skyway from us.
“Figure it out for yourself,” I said.
Now that we’d arrived, our purpose here should be obvious. I didn’t know why Korix was asking about it.
“Ok. Why are we infiltrating House Cerullis’ headquarters?” he said. “I can think of several reasons why we should do it. I’d like to know which of them you want to accomplish tonight.”
He’d made a good point. I couldn’t expect him to read my mind.
Also, why had he sounded so nervous just now?
“Besides hoping to figure out which House Zan facility Niklaus’ ‘gift’ was sent to?” I asked.
When Korix failed to respond to that question, I sighed.
“It’s been over two weeks, and Cerullis hasn’t made their move yet. When you woke up, I hoped that you’d have some details about *their* schemes to share, but since *they* kept you in the dark so efficiently about that, my wish is a bust,” I said. “So, we’ll go into Cerullis' headquarters and pray that Mother Time favors us with more clues about their plan because being in the dark about that is killing me. While we’re here, I’d also like to leave a breadcrumb trail for the other Houses to follow once this is over, one that will see *shukusen* Alezand removed from his position.”
“And why did you ask for my help with this?” Korix asked. “It sounds like something you could have done by yourself, three years into your training.”
I just stared at him in response. He should know why I’d brought him with me. Sure, his knowledge of a building that I’d so infrequently visited would be helpful, but it wasn’t why I needed him nearby.
As Zaeden, I might trust him, believing without a speck of doubt that the Ancient had been pulled out of him, but as the acting *Lokke Vitras,* I couldn’t afford such certainty. Much as I didn't like the restriction and sometimes forgot about it, Korix couldn’t leave my side until our enemy was dealt with.
“Ah,” he said. “You’re being polite.”
“No, I really could use your help tonight. It would make this task easier,” I said, “but I don’t need it.”
With a weak smile, Korix said, “I understand. You don’t have to explain yourself.”
Crossing his arms, he examined the building opposite us, but not before I spotted a slight tremble in his hands. Was he… afraid? If so, I could understand why. Who knew what sort of terrible deeds the Ancient had made him do here?
And I was bringing him back to it.
“I’m assuming we’re using P.I.G.s to get in,” he said.
Offering him the mentioned item, I said, “Unless you have a better idea.”
I couldn’t let him know that I’d seen his fear. What would that do to him, the one man in Lutov who believed his emotions must never be displayed?
Grimacing, Korix took a P.I.G., slapping it on the back of his hand, and I followed suit. Both of us checked our equipment after it had wrapped itself around our bodies, and once we were done, I marked a darkened window a few floors lower than us, sharing its location with Korix’s array.
“Entering through the roof would be easier, you know,” he said.
“Please, Ko. You know as well as I do that House Cerullis members have probably been stationed there from the moment I escaped with you,” I said. ‘They won’t expect us to come through a window, though, not the way we’ll do it at least.”
With a chuckle, Korix said, “I love seeing proof of how well you’ve learned my lessons.”
Good. He’d sounded better. Hopefully, he’d stay that way.
With a fond smile at him, I jumped into thin air. Rather than letting gravity drive me toward the ground, however, I used my propulsors to maintain a stable trajectory as I raced between layers of traffic, a dark splotch lost in the middle of flashing metal. Once I’d drawn closer to my target, I throttled my speed before initiating a most hated process in my array.
As with every time I’d used the damn thing, I mentally cringed at glass’s fast approach, certain I’d bounce off of the barrier surrounding it, but right when I might truly panic, the familiar disorientation that came with molecular dispersion settled over me. It didn’t, however, fade in a split second like it did when traveling to the Terminal. I jittered and buzzed, and my teeth would have been clenched hard enough to chip them, if I could get them to physically touch.
And all the while, the world fuzzed like it did when seen through a soap bubble, splitting into a million different refractions.
When I slurped back into my natural form with my atoms ceasing their vibration, I rolled to my feet, taking a breath to gather my scattered thoughts while Korix slunk toward the door. As soon as I could, I checked that our passage through the window had left no ripples in its barrier. Since they only stopped solid objects from passing through them, reactions to what we’d just done didn’t usually occur, but sometimes when using this process, one atom would hit another in exactly the wrong way, and a flare would run across a building.
I should have checked the barrier as soon as the process had ended, but shaking off its effects still gave me trouble. Korix insisted that given time, I’d consider passing through solid objects as normal. That made me no less impatient for it to be my reality now.
Hurrying to him, I said, “Anything?”
Even as he answered with a negative, I was accessing the nearby recorder feeds, using them to paint a simulation against a seemingly translucent wall.
“What now?” Korix asked in sub-vocals.
“Now, you teach me what you did at the Founder’s Day Ball,” I answered in kind. “Your camouflage technique?”
“You want to do that now?” Korix asked. “In possibly hostile territory?”
“After our many years together, you should know that I learn best when under pressure,” I said.
With a slight headshake, Korix reached into a pocket before flipping something to me, and when I caught it, it almost fell through my fingers; its size was so small. I lifted it in front of me, squinting at the revealed disk, and raised an eyebrow.
“Your technique is a piece of high Strata tech?” I asked.
Shrugging, Korix said, “I never said it was difficult, only that I hadn’t taught it to you, which is true. Unless you know how to operate that thing.”
When he nodded to the disk, I made a face.
“All right, then. How does it work?” I asked.
“Hold it against the back of your neck, near the base of your skull,” Korix said. “It’ll feel a little strange.”
Oh, goodie. His definition of strange could range anywhere from mildly annoying to excruciatingly painful.
Still, I did as he’d instructed, and when metal touched my skin, the disk pinched it before letting an electric zing flow over my body. Grimacing, I ran my tongue along my teeth. Korix had been right. This was *weird.*
“When you can, initiate the new processes that the disk has introduced to your array, and you’ll become invisible to the unaided eye. The disk forces the arrays near you to skip their users’ eyes over your position,” Korix said. “You’ll have to add me as an exception.”
“Sounds simple enough,” I said. “I don’t suppose you have another one of these on you? I’ll have to alter the plan otherwise.”
But Korix held another disk aloft, prepared for anything as always, and after we were both ready, we headed deeper into House Cerullis’ headquarters.
This place was nothing like House Kolb’s tower, not opposite in nature but distinctly unlike it too. Here, Korix and I passed displays filled with different types of rock and the strangest models of flora and fauna, all testaments to the diversity of our world.
As we moved along each corridor, fear made a slow creep into Korix once more, even in mission mode as he was. He was swiveling his head too much, and each of his steps was too twitchy. I needed to finish this. Quickly.
Fortunately, security was terrible here. Breaking through the processes that controlled its recorders and lifts took little effort. With the ease of our control and the lack of people in the building, we practically flew through the tower. Even still, my skin crawled. It couldn’t be this easy.
Despite my apprehension, we reached *shukusen* Alezand’s office without incident.
Once we were inside, Korix and I scoured the room before pulling the disks off of our necks, and while he stood stock still, staring at a strangely placed sitting area, I worked my jaw, shaking off this tech’s peculiar buzz. I didn’t comment on Korix’s obvious distress, letting him work through it, and when focus returned to his gaze, he took up watch without prompting.
As he did, a blanket of unease piled itself atop the tension I was already holding. Supposedly, my *Lokke Vitras* privileges should overshadow the ones that every head of House, save for my own, claimed. It was one of the advantages that the other *shukusenth* let the *Lokke Vitras* hold over them.
After all, while whomever held that role might be from House Kolb, they served all of Lutov. They were trusted to keep from abusing their power, although the threat of exile was on the table for the rare cases where that happened.
I’d never tested these privileges. What if something had gone wrong with them? What if the Ancients had modified the processes protecting House Cerullis? Considering *they* could isolate an array, surely *they* could also block me from what I needed. If my privileges didn’t work, I’d have to breach Alezand’s private storecase on my own, and I wasn’t sure how long that would take, time we might or might not have.
Still, as I moved into the room, I began my work, requesting anything that the *shukusen* had stored about the Ancients or Niklaus, and when I received an immediate response, it took me a heartbeat to hide my relief. I searched Alezand’s desk for paper evidence of what Cerullis had planned while my array rifled through his digital records, and after going through everything, I restored the desk to its previous state. This took me maybe three minutes, and I spent another seven going through everything I’d gathered. Once finished, I suppressed a frustrated growl.
“I don’t know if any of this will help us,” I said.
Never relenting in his unfocused stare, Korix said, “At this point, anything new would be useful. So?”
Delving into the storecase again, I started laying my breadcrumb trail while answering the question.
"Alezand must be keeping his correspondences with Niklaus in his array or a personal storecase, found elsewhere," I said. "They're certainly not here, and there's no mention of any shipments to a Zan facility that haven't been scheduled for the last few months. If Niklaus was sending his 'gift' to his rival through Cerullis, I doubt the House would have set up its shipment so long before now.
"Now that we've cleared up the hard part of this investigation for them, the lower Strata should bring us more information about this plot quickly enough. I doubt we need to spend more time investigating it ourselves, unless nothing turns up within the next few days.
“As for the Ancients' plan, Alezand has *much* more information stored here, but I don't understand what any of it means. According to what I've read, *they* have cells of House Cerullis members stationed across Xygek. Once the… cascade—whatever that means—begins, they’ll be the first to respond, ushering city residents to prepared holding facilities. Citizens will be processed there, which I assume means an Ancient will take them over.
“After *they* control Xygek, seizing the rest of Lutov will be easy, considering most of our people and resources are centered here, but I did find several mentions of *them* targeting the Eastern Reaches after *they’re* done in the capital. Without the means of production found there or the manpower and resources needed to support them, the high Strata in their far-flung estates won’t be able to resist the Ancients, the same as anyone who lives in Lutov’s few towns.
“I found nothing, however, about what this cascade entails, although several reports placed great emphasis on the Ancients’ affinity for electricity and manipulating membranes, of all things. I don’t suppose any of that rings a bell?”
“No, unfortunately,” Korix said.
I hadn’t thought it would, but there’d been no harm in asking.
With a final few tweaks, I finished my changes to Alezand’s storecase, ones that should see him stripped of House upon an investigation. If we survived the Ancients’ attack, Talira would lead one against House Cerullis, and when she did, I wanted the way prepared for her.
Joining, Korix by the door, I asked, “Are we clear?”
When he nodded, we slipped back through Cerullis’ headquarters until we reached the floor where we’d started. I wasn’t sure how we’d extract. We could leave the same way that we’d entered, but I’d much rather find another way out, if possible. Experiencing the discomfort of passing through a barrier once had been enough for today, thank you.
While I considered other options, someone stepped out of a room ahead of us, and at the sight of her, I brushed my fingers over my knives. Considering how empty Cerullis' headquarters had been until now, finding another person here was concerning.
After a closer inspection of the woman, however, I lowered my hands from my weapons, even if my tension decreased not one bit.
“Is that…?”
Korix seemed at a loss as to how he should finish his sentence, but that was to be expected. When someone changed their gender presentation, the same usually occurred for their name, and he would never be so rude as to use the wrong moniker for another person, even if they could never hear him doing it. I filled in the blank for him.
“Jayla.”
Drawing his shoulders together, Korix asked, “Sixth Stratus Fyester’s partner at the time of his-?”
He stopped just in time, but I heard that last word anyway, and the old stab of that wound rushed through me for the millionth time.
“She’s also Cerullis’ First Stratus now,” I said.
As we’d spoken, we’d been following Jayla with both of us drawn to the possibility that she presented, even if we didn’t dare speak it aloud yet.
“That’s what I thought. She’s flown far,” Korix said. “Do you want me to do it? I know it won’t be easy for you.”
“No. Too much unfinished business lies between us. I need to resolve it or it’ll cause problems in the future,” I said. “I’d appreciate your company, though.”
“Of course.”
Swallowing the recollected image of Jayla’s face contorting with rage, I set myself on a collision course with someone I’d once shared a partner with, a man we’d both loved. Someone I’d killed.
Why did life keep doing these things to me?
# Chapter 85: An Ally on the Inside
Even with an undercurrent of worry following her, Jayla looked good, much better than she had as Jastin, but then, I’d only met her once before she’d transitioned, and that meeting hadn’t… gone… well.
Why was I doing this again?
Once we’d reached an abandoned hallway, Korix revealed himself to the First Stratus, sending her spinning away from what would seem like a man appearing from thin air. Pressing a hand to her chest, she leaned against a wall, gasping.
“Favored,” she said. “Forgive my surprise. I thought that Kolb had taken you prisoner.”
“They have,” I said.
Grimacing, I lowered my camouflage, and Jayla’s body went through a peculiar progression of tensed to relaxed, all while her face soured.
“You,” she said with distaste.
Sighing, I said, “Me. May we speak with you privately, First Stratus?”
Furrowing her brow, Jayla flicked her eyes between me and Korix, and disquiet fell over her. The only other time I’d seen her, the *Lokke Vitras* had also accompanied me. Considering that during that encounter, I’d told her Fyester was dead, her confusion now didn’t surprise me.
“My office isn’t far,” she said. “It should work, depending on why you’re here.”
I ignored the unspoken question, gesturing to her.
“Lead on.”
With every step we took, Jayla drew her shoulder closer to her ears, and by the time she pulled us out of the hallway, she was bristling like an upset cat. Hell, this would be fun…
Her office was smaller than I’d expected, only containing a desk with a chair on either side. To the left and right of this, built-in display cases lined the walls with various trinkets resting on their shelves, and a landscape of a vista had been painted along the far wall.
While Jayla took her place behind the desk, I sank into the room’s second chair with Korix at my back. I didn’t like this position, would much rather take the less vulnerable option of standing, but right now, maintaining appearances was more important than my safety or comfort. From Jayla’s unconscious shifting, I’d say my efforts were working.
What did she see in me? Was I only someone who’d cowed the *Lokke Vitras,* or was there something else as well?
“Obviously, you know me,” she said, “and obviously, I made a mistake when I failed to catch your name the last time we met.”
“What else were you supposed to do?” I said. “I’d brought you horrible news. Why should you have cared to learn about me?”
With a cough, Jayla said, “Regardless. May I know your name now?”
“That will depend on how you answer my questions,” I said. “For now, all I’ll tell you is that *shukusen* Talira has given me the task of dealing with the threat in our midst. I want to know everything you can tell me about the Ancients’ designs for your House.”
I had no intention of asking about Niklaus. Unlike Alezand, who'd held an overheard conversation with Niklaus about our stolen weapons, I didn't have any solid evidence that Jayla even knew the older man. If I thought it necessary, I might ask her about him later, but for now, it seemed best to focus our conversation on one area of conflict.
Swallowing hard, Jayla settled deeper into her chair.
“I’d love to tell you everything, but my loyalty to my House won’t be broken,” she said. “I trust that the Favored is pleased with my answer.”
Did she think that Korix was testing her?
Turning to him, I said, *“Evushk,* she believes you’re still complicit with the Ancients.”
“It does seem that way, *kuvesk,”* Korix said.
“Suggestions?”
“You know what I’ll say,” Korix said. “Give her one of your guarded truths. If she proves herself untrustworthy, we have many options to keep her from sharing it.”
Humming, I returned my attention to Jayla, but her narrowed eyes kept me from speaking.
“You’re his student?” she asked. “That makes you…”
Resting my elbows on the chair’s arms, I folded my hands on my stomach.
“The next *Lokke Vitras,* yes,” I said.
I endured her scrutiny for a while, curious why my revelation had had no effect on her, before pressing into painful territory.
“Concerning Fyester,” I said.
A soft whine interrupted me. As she hunched in her chair, Jayla turned her face away from me, and I internally cringed at this evidence of the damage I’d scored on her. Hell, she must have loved him. I couldn’t stop now, though.
“Concerning Fyester,” I repeated over Jayla, “did you look at the autopsy report that we provided for you?”
Pulling her knees to her chest, Jayla murmured something that might have been an affirmative.
“Then, you know how he died,” I continued.
Hugging her legs, Jayla took a few, deep breaths before glaring at me over them.
“You mean besides the energy bolt that you shot through his head?” she said. “Yes, I know, although I’m not sure what could have caused damage like that to his brain.”
The gut-punch that her words had delivered caught me off guard, and while I didn’t drop out of mission mode because of it, Jayla frowned at me as if I’d done something odd.
“That surprises me,” I managed to say. “I thought for sure that Cerullis’ First Stratus would know what a person’s neural pathways look like once an Ancient’s finished with them.”
Sucking in a breath, Jayla sat bolt upright. Her eyes glittered with something that I couldn’t name.
“I was right, then?” she asked. *“They* got to Fy before he died?”
His nickname on her tongue sliced through my thoughts, leaving them fluttering in my head. It hadn’t sounded wrong, merely unexpected, and frozen as I was, I could only nod in answer to her question.
“I knew it!” Jayla said. “He was so distant, almost cagey, for those last few months. I knew something was wrong, worried that the enemy in our ranks had taken a fancy to him. Then, I got a message saying that he was planning on having a partner over, which was strange. Before that night, he hadn’t dated anyone else for far too long, and his message was the last that I heard from him. Well. Except for when you…”
Her frown tipped from befuddlement to consternation while her nose wrinkled, and behind me, Korix shifted. His slight movement, more than anything else, put me on guard, and I watched Jayla for signs of hostility, but all I saw from her was hugely widened eyes before she spoke.
“You’re him, the partner Fy mentioned that night. Zaeden, right?”
My insides withered because something non-conducive to my role had occurred. Someone in a position of power, unassociated with House Kolb, had learned my name. What should I do? Jayla wasn’t likely to keep this secret to herself, and I couldn’t keep her quiet without resorting to extreme measures, which I’d rather not do.
But… why was I worried? After becoming the *Lokke Vitras,* I had no intention of cutting ties with my siblings, and at some point, someone would put together who I was from that association alone. After that, the name ‘Zaeden’ would be known across Lutov, which meant it wouldn’t be a secret to keep. So… nothing to worry about. Right?
“Mother Time, it *is* you,” Jayla said. “Fy told me so much about you.”
Her expression turned severe.
“What happened?” she snapped. “Why did you kill him?”
Had… had I not share the details of her partner’s end? Damn, why couldn’t I remember whether I had? It was information I’d normally have given her but…
It didn’t matter. I could tell her now.
“Fyester and I ran into each other on the night in question, although I’ve never been sure about how much of a coincidence that was,” I said. “We went out for drinks to catch up, and he invited me back to his… your place. When we reached your apartment, we… well. I’m sure you don’t want to hear about that part of the night. I wouldn’t.
“Fy knew what I was, putting it together from context clues, and while we were… intimate, he attacked me. I fought him off, and once I’d subdued him, my *evushk* took over.”
I jerked my thumb at Korix, resisting the urge to check if he’d maintained his blank façade. I’d be astonished if he hadn’t.
“The next day, *evushk* called me to a cabana on Lake Voxmore’s shore. He had Fy restrained there in the hopes that I could extract intel from him about a scheme that he was involved with. I couldn’t do it.”
Maintaining Jayla’s gaze went from difficult to impossible. My eyes, constantly roaming away from her to this point, drifted to the ceiling, there to stay.
*“Evushk* took my place, gaining the information that we needed to save hundreds of lives, but in the process, the Ancient that was controlling him did… that. What you saw in Fyester’s autopsy report,” I said. “Before I abandoned him to die, Fy had begged me to free the spark of his soul… afterward, so when I came back inside and he was…”
The past draped over my view of the world. I could see it all again and oh, Mother Time. I’d be sick.
“I did as he’d asked,” I said.
Forcing myself to meet Jayla’s eyes, I tried to ease the story’s blow.
“He was very brave,” I said. “Even knowing what was coming, he did what he could to help us, something that my *evushk* and I have always been grateful for.”
With her face creasing, Jayla examined me, which left me wondering what she was thinking. Had sharing this story helped her, or had I only picked open a scabbed-over wound?
“You loved him,” she eventually said.
Hesitantly, I nodded, and everything about her hardened into place. Doing what I could to hide it, I braced for her scathing words.
“He loved you too.”
Wait, what? Had… had I hear that right? I couldn’t have. But when I frowned at Jayla, she nodded.
“Fy talked about you all the time,” she said. “He missed you, even years after you disappeared.”
Oh. Oh, how my heart ached.
“When he told me that he loved you, I got the feeling that I was the first person he’d shared that with,” I said. “You were the only part of this world that he regretted leaving behind.”
Jayla slapped a hand over her mouth, raggedly breathing around it.
“All these years I’ve hated you,” she said, “and all this time, you gave Fy mercy, not- not-”
I… didn’t know about that, but if the misconception got me answers, I wouldn’t dispute it.
“What else were you supposed to believe, especially with the information I gave you?” I asked.
“I…”
Shaking her head, Jayla set her jaw.
“I’ll tell you everything I know about the oppressor in our midst,” she said. “I’ve opposed the bastards since Fy’s death, striving to gain greater trust with *them* so I can wreak havoc in *their* ranks, but even still, I don’t know much.”
That was disappointing, if also expected. Still.
“Give us what you can,” I said. “Especially anything to do with the weapons your House has received in recent days."
She told me what she knew, but several minutes later, I’d learned nothing new about House Cerullis’ role in this attempt at a takeover, and apparently, Alezand had kept Jayla unaware of his House's involvement in the illegal acquisition of weapons. I wasn't sure how that was possible, but... I wouldn't be surprised if the *shukusenth* remained secretive about schemes like that with even someone as close to them as their First Stratus.
Even with the lack of clarity about the Ancients’ overall plan, I gained one advantage from approaching her.
“Not all of my House agrees with our *shukusen’s* plans, even if we understand the pressure he’s under,” she said. “If and when you unravel this conspiracy, you’ll have our support.”
Before I could express my gratitude for that, Korix stepped into the silence.
“That’s well and good, but how are we supposed to trust you, given all that you’ve shared about Cerullis' plans?” he said. “My *kuvesk* has given you cause to trust him, but you have yet to do the same. In fact, you’ve done the opposite. How can we expect that you won’t betray us like you’ve done with your House, where your loyalty should always lie?”
Guffawing, Jayla rocked in her chair.
“You doubt *my* trustworthiness?” she said. “That’s rich. How deeply have you betrayed Lutov and your House, oh most vaunted *Lokke Vitras?”*
Gritting my teeth, I shot forward to tell this woman exactly how much Korix had sacrificed for her and every other Lutovish citizen. Only his hand on my shoulder, gently squeezing, stopped me.
“I hear your words and accept your rightful outrage,” he said, “but my question remains.”
A new note had entered his voice. It was the same one I’d heard while in House Kolb’s headquarters yesterday morning, and always, it had come after someone had mentioned the dark spots in his brain. The hairs on the back of my neck rose, and I dove through the feeds of this study’s recorders until I could see Korix. In him, I found nothing to substantiate this roil in my guts but…
“What would it take to prove my loyalty to Lutov rather than my House?” Jayla asked.
I took over before Korix could suffer more from this exchange.
“Keep me notified of sudden changes within your House,” I said. “I’ve sent you my array’s access information. Have you received it?”
“I have,” Jayla replied. “Is there anything else I can do?”
Having an inside woman within the ranks of the enemy’s puppet was more than I’d expected to gain from this confrontation. It almost made up for our failure when ransacking *shukusen* Alezand’s office, but still, I couldn’t help asking for more.
“I don’t suppose you can help us get out of here?” I said.
I half-expected Jayla to laugh at me, but she brightened instead, springing to her feet so suddenly that her chair almost toppled behind her.
“I can, actually,” she chirped.
At her gesture, the painting opposite us dissipated, leaving behind the top of a lift.
“My private bolt hole,” Jayla said. “It’s been in the First Stratus’ office for ages, known only to them and their *shukusen,* but Alezand’s away right now, unable to stop your escape. If you take the lift, you’ll find yourself at ground level behind a concealed door. From there, you’ll be on your own.”
She knew how to earn a House Kolb member’s trust. Escape routes were sacred to them, and while I knew they weren’t as important within the other Houses, an instinctual part of me admired Jayla for sharing this secret.
“We can get away safely once we’re free of this place,” I said.
Rising, I extended my hand to Jayla.
“Thank you for your help.”
She took what I’d offered, holding my hand rather than shaking it.
“It’s what Fy would have wanted,” she said. “I’m sorry for my hostility toward you all those years ago, Zaeden. You only did what you could to help the man we loved, and I treated you like garbage for a kindness I never could have given.”
“I… never blamed you for it,” I said.
I had nothing else to give Jayla, no matter how much her searching gaze begged for more. Eventually, she released me, gesturing toward her bolt hole.
“I’ll notify you if I notice anything suspicious,” she said.
Bowing, I said, “We thank you.”
With nothing more, I circled the office until I stepped into the lift, trusting that Korix would follow me. On the way down Cerullis’ headquarters, I unpacked everything that Jayla had resurfaced, every bittersweet memory of Fyester, before bottling it up again. So, when Korix joined me in the park outside, I was returned to my natural state.
“Well! That was interesting,” I said. “Thanks for joining me.”
“Mm.”
I got nothing more, which was strange. If Korix wasn’t up for talking, he usually told me, but this time, he merely strode toward a shuttle stop, acting as if I wasn’t at his side. Like he had when leaving House Kolb’s headquarters earlier. I’d never figured out what had been wrong then. What the hell was going on?
With my narrow-eyed gaze pinned between his shoulders, I ran through a list of reasons why he might be acting unlike himself. If I could identify the cause of this change, maybe I could prepare for the shitstorm that was sure to come with it.
Somehow, I doubted I'd manage that, but still, I considered it as we reached the shuttle stop and boarded one that would take us toward my parents' home
# Chapter 86: Cheering Up an Asshole
The air around Korix hung heavy on the shuttle ride home, and given how much they’d pulled away from us, our fellow passengers must have felt it too. He didn’t seem to notice, keeping his forehead plastered to the glass as he stared out at the city, passing us by.
I couldn’t bring myself to ask what was wrong, not when something in his bearing screamed of a need for solitude. When we reached our stop, I was ecstatic to hop onto the platform, leaving the tension in the shuttle behind.
I'd already messaged Talira with our findings from our midnight excursion. She hadn't been pleased to learn that I hadn't followed her orders, but once she'd finished lecturing me about that, she'd agreed with the conclusions I'd drawn. Much as I wished it were otherwise, Korix and I had already finished our part in the investigation into Niklaus, his stolen weapons, and his 'rival'. We'd have to leave the rest to the lower Strata, at least for now. So... we had no other excuse to avoid an attempt at relaxing.
As we walked through my parents’ front door, I wasn't sure how good either of us would be at it. I was certainly less rattled by yesterday's events than I had been on trying to sleep, but the mystery of it hadn't quite faded to something I could ignore.
And I was still at a loss as to what was bothering Korix. Plenty of theories had gone through my head, but all of them flew through one ear and out the other.
Korix had his bad moods, of course. Everyone did, but he was old enough and had kept tight control of his emotions for long enough that he could usually tell me when they happened, which I appreciated. It let me know when I should work on cheering him up.
What he was showing me now wasn’t like that. He’d fallen into himself with no attempt to talk made and no cheery smile donned to let me know he’d be ok. He was almost… broody, which made me sick to my stomach to think about.
Without pausing to ask for guidance, Korix blazed through the apartment, a thundercloud in human form. That he knew this place’s layout didn’t surprise me. Apartments across Xygek were constructed in a similar fashion, after all, but I was curious why he was revealing his knowledge now. He usually held things like that to his chest for as long as he could. Was he just that wrapped up in his thoughts?
When he turned into the kitchen, my concern for him skyrocketed. I knew what he wanted—I was hungry too—but he wouldn’t find the peace that he was looking for here.
Korix stopped inside the entrance, and while I joined him, he glanced over what would be his workspace.
“This is pathetic,” he said under his breath.
I had to agree with him. All the filled this room were a table and its chairs, several out-of-place crates, and a refectory. Feena was standing in front of that last item, caught halfway through claiming her meal.
“Don’t worry, Ko. I’ve gotten things ready for when you woke up,” I said. “I figured you’d want a more well-stocked kitchen, and while I couldn’t get appliances installed in time, we can make do.”
Striding to the crates, I tapped one, grinning at him. He didn’t move, merely staring at me, and rolling my eyes, I opened my acquisitions, starting from the top. As I ripped into the first one’s interior, Feena cleared her throat.
“Um. Excuse me, but… what are you doing?” she asked. “I’ve noticed these things taking up space over the last few days, but I thought they held… I don’t know. Weapons or something?”
Chuckling, I said, “Nope.”
I pulled scaled and deboned salmon fillets out of the chilled space they’d been occupying, inspecting one of them through its rime-coated plastic. With only two days spent in the cold, it should be fine, but I’d always found it best to check food for rot, especially when fish was involved. With our arrays controlling our bodies down to its cells, food poisoning was basically a thing of the past, but if the disease wasn’t caught early enough, its symptoms could still present for an hour or so, which wasn’t pleasant.
Resting what I was holding on the table, I retrieved a bag of rice and some salad ingredients before opening another crate. In this one, I found a rice cooker and more importantly, knives. As I laid these items out, Feena stopped behind me, looking over my shoulder.
“What on earth are you doing?’ she asked.
“Cooking,” I said, “or at least starting the process. It would help if my head chef would *get over here.”*
Flipping a knife so that its blade was pointing toward me, I offered the handle to Korix, who was still standing in the doorway.
“Why would you cook-?”
“Feena, my dear sister,” I interrupted. "You’re more than welcome to stay and watch us work, if you like, but right now, you need to give me space.”
“O… k…”
She backed off, showing me her palms, and I thrust my knife toward Korix.
“Will you help me or not?” I asked.
Slowly, he took the knife, and I shoved a tomato at him. While he diced it, I started cooking some rice, all while grating ginger for a salad dressing. As always when it came to this activity, we fell into a rhythm with Korix taking the lead. I completed every menial task that he, as the master craftsman, couldn’t be bothered to complete, and while doing that, I watched him from the corner of my eye, chewing on the inside of my lip. Not even this, his most favored coping mechanism, was helping.
While we worked, more family members trickled into the kitchen to watch us, and at some point, Feena retrieved her food, munching on it while leaning on a wall. Ignoring them was more difficult than I’d thought it would be. They were family, avidly observing what we were doing, rather than strangers, causally taking note of our activities.
Fortunately, I had aids to help with this, besides the puzzle of Korix of course. Our workspace was small with barely enough room on it for one cutting board and the rice cooker, let alone a place to prepare dishes as well. Having no appliances, besides the rice cooker, became a challenge as well. We had to get creative with dishes that might normally require a blender or food processor.
In the end, however, we finished making our impromptu meal, and as if emerging from a dream, Korix frowned at our audience.
“We didn’t make enough food,” he said, as if to himself.
“Not to worry. My family was just leaving,” I said before glaring at them. “Right?”
Jumping as if caught playing one of my pranks, my parents dropped their fond smiles, mumbling apologies as they scurried out of the room, but Feena paused before leaving.
“Shall I retrieve Leski for you?” she asked. “The poor dear woke up just a bit ago, worried sick about where you'd gone.”
Hell. Leski. I'd forgotten to leave her a message about what I'd left to do, as I should have done before traipsing off into greater Xygek. Damn, I’d gotten rusty at this dating thing.
I, however, couldn’t change the past. It was best to move forward.
“Will you let her know I’m back?” I said. “I’ll check on her as soon as I’m finished here.”
“Sure thing,” Feena says. “Enjoy your… food.”
A snorting laugh followed her as she rounded the corner, and once she was gone, I returned my attention to the current object of my concern, only to find him staring at our used knives with fixation. After directing the drones to deal with the dirty dishes, I flopped into a chair, balancing on its back legs.
“Well?” I said. “Will you tell me what I did wrong while in House Cerullis’ headquarters?”
I was ready to hear it. Mission review usually came next in this protocol, after all.
“What’s the point?” Korix said. “Soon, I’ll no longer be your *evushk.* The role’s been taken from me. So, what more do I have to teach you?”
While he filled his plate, I snapped my eyes to slits. Was this why he was so morose? With his plunge into despondency coming so soon after Jayla’s reminder of his ‘betrayal’, I’d thought it would have something to do with that, but I supposed the coming changes could be the cause too.
Sitting beside me, Korix started eating salmon-wrapped rice balls, and I let my chair’s legs thunk to the ground. Not going to wait for me, was he? That was different.
Without rising, I claimed what I wanted of our bounty, and as I took my first bite, I laid my hand, palm up, on the table between us. For a while, this was fine, but once I eventually noticed that no warmth had filled it, I glanced between it and Korix several times with my appetite gone. He’d never refused me this comfort, as it had always served as a lifeline for us both.
This paralyzed me so absolutely that Korix had gotten through half of his meal before I could think again. Curling my fingers into a fist, I retracted it, punching the seat between my legs as I grabbed his shirt and jerked him my way.
“All right. Spill it,” I snapped. “What’s wrong?”
No eyebrow was raised, and no amusement radiated from Korix. As he stared at me, I didn’t see the man I loved but a hollow shell that was masquerading as him.
“What do you mean?” he asked. “Everything’s fine-”
I shook him. I didn’t mean to do it, but something had hold of me as solidly as what was holding his attention.
“Don’t give me that,” I snarled. “I know something’s wrong, and I swear. If you don’t tell me *what the fuck* it is, I will… I’ll…”
I didn’t know what I’d do, but whatever it was, it would drag Korix out of the mire he’d sunken into. It was helping no one, least of all him.
Sighing, Korix shifted his gaze to the refectory.
“You don’t want to know,” he said. “Not yet at least.”
Ah. He was trying to protect me, huh? Leaning forward, I laid my hand on his cheek, turning him back to me.
“Tell me anyway. Please,” I said. “Otherwise, I’ll focus on nothing else in my free time, and you know how badly I’ll need that over the next few days. Besides, don’t you know that helping you is one of my greatest joys in life?”
He searched me, for what I didn’t know, but he didn’t find it. Slumping, he slid his hands down my arm, pulling my palm off of his face. Gently, he lowered the resulting finger bundle into his lap and almost, started then and there, but before the words could come out, he bit his lip, tightening his hold on me.
“The brain scan that Talira showed you before waking me up,” he eventually said. “You asked me what the black spots on it were?”
Oh… shit. This conversation was about to take a swift downward turn, wasn’t it?
Swallowing hard, I nodded for Korix to continue.
“The truth is, we’re not sure what they are. Even millennia after Lutov’s founding, we’re still guessing at the specifics of how the brain works,” he said. “On a fundamental level, we know that the blackened portions of mine no longer give off electrical activity, which makes them virtually dead. What that means in practice, though? It…”
After squeezing his eyes closed, Korix rubbed his face, hiding his eyes.
“You know the episodes I have? What you call ‘falling into my past’?” he asked.
“Yes…?” I drawled.
I *hated* where this was going.
“First of all, that symptom is *not* exclusive to my physical condition. Everyone who goes through a traumatic event may eventually experience something similar, but even still they are also a symptom of those splotches. We know this because I’ve had so-called flashbacks that were caused exclusively by trauma before, and the ones you notice and comment on, the ones where I act out, feel completely different to me. They’re… more intense, and that’s all I’ll share about those differences. I don’t want to… scare you,” Korix said. “Some other symptoms of the splotches are…”
Swallowing, he shifted in place, dropping his gaze to our clasped hands.
“I’ve never mentioned this before because it’s typically a non-issue for me,” he haltingly said, “but I… see things, Zae. Fantastical things that aren’t there. And occasionally, reality just… skews for me, like I’ve been dropped into another dimension. I don’t know how else to put it. can usually handle those symptoms, or at least ignore them, but when my past comes back to haunt me in full? You know what that looks like.
“And it’s only getting worse. Soon, I’ll be nothing but a violent, highly trained instrument of death, completely detached from reality, constantly reliving every traumatic moment of my past, and entirely lost in them. When that happens, I have contingencies prepared, something that will see the danger that I’ll become removed from the board. That’s what’s wrong. I’ve been considering that eventuality.”
With nothing else, Korix stopped his barrage, and for a moment, I just blinked at him. What was this inferno, licking at my thoughts? It had set my insides ablaze, and with my back ramrod straight, I sat perfectly still, unsure what else I could do. If I moved a muscle, I was afraid of what would pour out of me.
Meanwhile, Korix watched me with pinched eyes.
“Zae-?” he started.
Yanking my claimed hand out of his grip, I jabbed his chest.
“You mean to have someone kill you?” I hissed.
Glancing at my finger, Korix said, “Yes. Talira, most likely. She’s the only person who’s bested me in decades.”
I’d thought that when something like this happened—and I hadn’t been naïve enough to think that it wouldn’t—I’d scream in Korix’s face or rattle his bones. Instead, I’d become flesh covering an ice-block interior.
Calmly rising out of my chair, I walked out the door, leaving the meal that I’d barely started behind, and if my stride jerked from one step to the next, I didn’t acknowledge it. When he caught up, Korix hurried in front of me, walking backward.
“Zae, please,” he said.
“I’m not ready to talk to you yet,” I said.
The chill in my voice transferred to him, freezing him solid, and I roughly brushed past him. After a moment, the staccato beat of his footsteps followed me, which was good. Herding him along while also gathering Leski would have been annoying, which on top of everything else…
I just couldn't handle it. Things had gotten so *warped* when it came to the people I was romantically involved with. We needed to handle these problems, preferably before they spiraled out of control.
# Chapter 87: You Idiots
Finding Leski didn’t take me long. When I stormed into my parents’ garden, she was examining the arrangement of its azalea bushes, exactly where the recorder system had said she’d be. As I approached, she glanced up with her face brightening.
“Zae, hi! I didn’t see you this morning,” she asked. “Where did you go?”
“Out,” I said, short and to the point.
I couldn’t afford anything else right now.
By this point, I’d reached her, and after taking her hand, I reversed course, pulling her behind me.
“Wha-? Zae! What are you-?”
I ignored her, just as I ignored when she wrenched her hand free of mine.
“Do you know what’s going on?” she asked.
“No idea,” Korix said.
Sure, he didn’t know. He wasn’t the one who’d caused this fugue in me or anything.
Damnit, he should know by now that lying wasn’t good for a relationship, especially not for the one that must form between him and Leski, but I didn’t have the focus needed to berate him for his misstep. All of it was focused on the problems they were facing.
When we reached the apartment’s front door, a drone was waiting for me, placidly floating in place, and I snatched what it was holding, barely taking the time to reinforce its usual routines before barreling outside. Thank Mother Time that it was so early in the morning, leaving walkways mostly empty and the sun yet to peek its head above the horizon. With that, I didn’t have to check if Leski and Korix were following me as I marched toward our destination.
The walk didn’t take long. After the shortest six minutes that I’d ever experienced, I was standing at the base of a familiar tower, looking up toward its apex. While I waited for the others to orient themselves, I let memories flood through me, remembering the last night that I’d claimed true freedom. No matter how bitter those memories were now.
Tonight, we had no need to race for the summit. After Korix and Leski had caught their breath, we took the same route that I’d used when Feena had undertaken this ritual with me: a lift. Only once Xygek was spread out around us did I let myself look at the people I cared for.
Confusion had taken root in them both, and while Korix had resolutely fixed his eyes on me, Leski was looking out over the horizon. I gave them a moment to quash any fears that I might have spawned, and once tension had leaked out of their bodies, I got started.
“Before we get to the reason I brought you here, let’s discuss what connects you,” I said. “I’m in a relationship with you both, and an understandable amount of hostility lies between you. If possible, I would prefer to address this now. So. Leski, you’re unhappy about the violence that took place between *evushk* and me in the House Cerullis’ facility. Would you like to talk about that?”
Crossing her arms, Leski shifted from foot to foot, refusing to meet my eyes.
“I don't- You expect me to-"
She huffed in exasperation.
"No, you're right. We should talk about this. But what do you expect me to say, Zae? That I’m ok with being near a man who nearly killed you a few weeks ago?” she said. “Sure, I had an… uncomfortable conversation with him earlier, one that explained things, but… I don’t know.”
She paused for a moment before continuing in a halting fashion.
“Granted, you’ve seemed different since he woke up. More… centered? Better. If the change I’m seeing is what this man does for you, then he's clearly a good influence. Given that and the circumstances of your fight, I know I shouldn't hold what happened against him, especially not when you’ve already forgiven him for it. Even still, I guess… I’m just scared of him, but what else should you expect from me. He’s the *Lokke Vitras!”*
She cut off, biting her lip, all while I winced. No matter how much Korix and I knew that people were afraid of us, hearing someone talk about it always hurt.
“You’re right to be afraid,” Korix said. “After seeing me fight Zaeden, you must know that I’d find it easy to crush you.”
What was he-? That was *not* helping!
“But I’ve never intentionally hurt an innocent, Leski,” he continued. “I don’t go out of my way to hurt anyone. Unfortunately, it’s just a part of what I do. So, in another way, you have nothing to fear from me. Unless you want it, I will never touch a hair on your head. It’s the least I can do after I failed your mother.”
Bristling, Leski extended a finger toward Korix.
“And there’s that!” she said. “How is it that you knew my mother? Hell, you visited her when I was a child. You were at her damn Dispersal, for Mother Time’s sake!”
He had been? That was odd. Usually, only the deceased’s loved ones and close friends were invited to the Dispersal of someone’s ashes. Why had Korix been there for Laryse’s?
He’d gone quiet, taking on an air I knew well. It meant we wouldn’t be getting an answer from him anytime soon, and after a while of enduring this, Leski clicked her tongue.
“I see where Zae learned how to be an obstinate *asshole,”* she said, “but never mind that. Will you at least tell me why I saw you at my home after she died? Were you… involved with that?”
“No!” Korix said.
With his eyes wide, he drew himself up, and his breathing momentarily hitched. Oh, shit. Was he about to lose it?
After a moment, he said, “I had nothing to do with your mother’s death. Laryse was my-”
…His what? Partner? Friend? Either way, it put his side of Laryse's story in an entirely different light. No wonder he’d gotten so upset when it had come up.
Taking a calming breath, Korix said, “Your mother was one of the most wonderful people I’ve had the pleasure of knowing. In many ways, you remind me of her, although a vast swath of your personality is distinctly you.”
When he gave her a small smile, Leski flushed, jerking her head to the side. Blowing hair out of her eyes, she quickly turned blazing eyes back on Korix.
“Ok. I believe you, which is good. I wasn’t sure what I’d do if you’d murdered her, like I’ve sometimes wondered over the years,” she said, “but if you didn’t hurt her…”
Biting her lip, she glanced at me.
“Zae trusts you, even after everything you did, and you’ve been nothing but polite and respectful since then,” she said, as if to herself.
For an agonizing minute, she stopped talking, merely chewing on her lip as she thought. Then, she said.
“That means I should trust you too, and *that* means we should wipe the slate clean between us, erasing our shared history. Nothing lies between us now. Not yet.”
With a half-smile, she extended a hand.
“I’m Leski, unHoused, daughter to Second Stratus Niklaus,” she said. “I’m pleased to make your acquaintance.”
Korix seemed stunned. Rapidly blinking, he hesitantly took her hand before pausing, clearly unsure what to share with her. Content to stay on the sidelines to this point, I nonetheless recognized that I should step in now.
“You said you’d help me with this,” I said. “She needs everything, so give her everything.”
And slumping, the man I loved surrendered something that, over the course of several decades, he’d only given to me.
“I’m Korix, First Stratus of House Kolb,” he said, “also known as the *Lokke Vitras.”*
Leski’s grin turned impish as she pumped Korix’s arm up and down.
“Nice to meet you,” she said. “In the future, let’s only work toward each other’s happiness.”
I didn’t wait for Korix to reply. With their conflict mostly resolved, I grabbed their wrists, drawing them to the safety railing along the edge of the tower’s top. Releasing them, I slung my legs over it before patting the pole on either side of me. They exchanged a glance, but shrugging, both of them followed my example.
As soon as they’d joined me, leaving three sets of legs dangling into thin air, I offered what I’d taken from the drone to Leski.
“You’ll need this,” I said.
Given our mission earlier, Korix wouldn’t require the same, and if Leski had been paying any attention during her House Kolb rotations, she should know how to don what I’d given her. Indeed, she slapped the P.I.G. to the back of her hand, even as befuddlement captured her face.
“Zae, what-?” she started.
Tangling my fingers in her hair, I pulled her to me, silencing her with a kiss, and when I backed off, her eyes had unfocused a sufficient degree. With my goal achieved, I rested one hand on her back while brushing the other across her cheek.
“I have words for you, but I need you to know that when I say them, I’m not lecturing you,” I said. “Yes, I have more years to my name, but I’m not presuming to know better than you might. All I’m giving you is a piece of my own experience.”
I made sure she’d heard me before moving on.
“So, here’s what I have to say: Don’t let anything restrain you, *especially* not your father. Live vicariously. Live the way you want, whether with him in your life or not, and never let anyone tell you how you should love.”
A glistening sheen coated Leski’s eyes, and she opened her mouth, but before she could speak, I shoved her. Flailing, she tumbled off of the railing, and I watched her drop until I spotted the flare of her repulsors. Only then did I turn to Korix, but he looked ready for me. His body was loose, prepared for a long fall.
Grinning, I cupped his neck, pulling him to where our foreheads were touching, before unleashing my frustration on him.
“Forgive my impertinence, *evushk,”* I said, “but fuck you for thinking that you can give up so easily. You say your mind’s breaking? Fight for it, and for the love of Mother Time, let others help you with that struggle. Don’t willingly leave the one who can never love you behind.”
And I waited, despite how far Leski was pulling away from us. I had to hear him say it.
“I’ll try, Zae,” Korix breathes.
It would have to be enough.
# Chapter 88: Conflict Resolution
I pulled Korix to me, pressing our lips together, and as I entangled my body with his, I tipped us backward, relinquishing our perch for a free fall. As we plummeted toward the ground, Korix shoved his hands beneath my clothing, and for a moment, I relived the rush that I’d felt during my first drop like this. Before the sensation could claim me heart and spark of soul, though, I pushed Korix away.
*Wait,* I sent via message. *Much as I want you, I have to think about Leski too. I don’t know how she’d react to… this.*
Even twisting through the air as we were, I caught Korix’s smirk.
*Then, until we’re on the ground, let’s keep her from seeing it,* was what I received in response. *Unless you don’t think you can control yourself once we’re down there?*
A chuckle flourished in me—he was onto something about my control, after all—and pointing my body downward, I raced after Leski’s trail. Thank Mother Time that she was headed in the right direction. I could have corrected her trajectory if needed, but I was happy that I wouldn’t have to. It let me enjoy this fall without worrying about her.
Korix and I spiraled through air traffic, dancing so close to one another that we might as well have been kissing, before one thing or another pulled us apart. When we eventually alighted on the grass below, I was having a hard time with remembering that anyone but him existed in the world.
Fortunately, Leski helped with that effort. Storming to me, she shoved a finger in my face.
“What was that?” she snapped. “You could have killed me!”
Taking hold of her finger, I said, “That was me reminding you idiots of things you should already know. Also, if I’d thought you couldn’t handle a drop like that, I wouldn’t have pushed you, although perhaps I should have given you a warning. Still. Should I have left you alone up there?”
I yanked her into my arms, kissing her palm, and fixing her eyes on that, she frowned.
“You’re impossible to deal with, you know,” she said.
“I’m exceedingly aware,” I said against her skin.
Releasing my hold on her, I pulled away, stretching my arms overhead.
“And I hope you two have learned your lessons! I swear, you’re the most unlikely *kuveskt* that I ever thought to teach, but hell, if lecturing you wasn’t fun,” I said. “We should head back now, though. Talira told us to stay well rested, and while you might have been following that command, Leski, I *know* Ko and I haven't..”
When I brought my arms down, Korix grabbed one of them, holding it in an iron grip.
“Excuse me. Who did you just call your *kuvesk?”* he growled.
I donned my most cheeky grin for him, but before I could unleash any snark, Leski slipped in between us, sticking a finger in my face again.
"I don't need you telling me what to do about my father," she said. "Have you lived with him for the last twenty-five years? No. *I'm* the one that's put up with his bullshit. I'm the one that has to figure out how I feel about what he did to- to my-"
Cutting off, she bit back a sob, and I reached out to comfort her, even if I was a little confused what she was upset about. Yes, I'd briefly mentioned a couple of her options for future contact with Niklaus, but I hadn't meant to imply she should choose one of them over the other. Was that what she'd heard?
"I would never tell you what you should do about him," I said. "You're dealing with a lot right now, and I'll be here to support you, whatever you decide."
Leski’s face went sour while her lips started trembling, and I couldn’t tell if it was because she hadn’t liked what I’d said or because I'd further brought her source of conflict into focus. Before I could figure that out, Korix jerked me forward, and I crashed into Leski, instinctually wrapping my arms around her.
I meant to twist myself to shield her fall, if we did happen to lose our balance, but as if to frustrate me, Korix took a fistful of Leski’s coat. Along with his hold on my arm, he used that grip to steady us, and by the time we were stable once more, Leski was clinging to me with her face buried in my chest, sobbing. This sudden flood of tears was probably just a release of the tension that she’d accumulated over the last half hour and nothing more, but even still, I glared at Korix.
“What the fuck?” I asked in sub-vocals.
Shrugging he replied in kind, “You asked me to help.”
Patting Leski’s back, I narrowed my eyes at him, refusing to lift my gaze until she pushed away from me.
“I’m sorry,” she said. “You’re right about it all. It’s just… I love my dad, even if with everything he's done. How sad is that? I have to be the worst daughter, no. The worst *person* for being so confused about all of this."
Oh, hell no. Niklaus had already caused enough trouble in Leski's life. I wouldn't let this problem between them cause even more turmoil for her, especially not when it came in the form of self-loathing.
“You don’t have to explain yourself to me, especially not when it comes to trouble with a parent,” I said. “Unless I’m remembering this wrong, my parents had me throwing an enormous temper tantrum two weeks ago, and you had to pull me out of it.”
“You did what now?” Korix said.
I shook my head at him, hoping to continue with my train of thought, but Leski turned to him with a mischievous grin in place, clearly relieved by the change in subject.
“He had a tantrum,” she said. “Punched a wall, broke a mirror, and everything.”
When Korix just *looked* at me, I sheepishly smiled, rubbing the back of my neck.
“I’d just lost you, ok?” I said. “But I know. I should still have better control of my emo-mph!”
Staggering a little, I struggled to stay on my feet and kiss Korix back, all while knowing a woman had been trapped between us. She, however, didn’t seem to mind her situation, or she hadn’t protested it, at least. Unmoving, she stayed quiet while I oscillated between whether I should push Korix away or not, but when I eventually gave in, opening my mouth to him, and a pleased sound from… someone—I wasn’t sure who—hummed in the air between us, she started wiggling against me.
Reluctantly, I backed off. Before I could step away, though, Leski took hold of my shirt, pulling me down to her mouth, and I locked up, body and mind. What… was going on?
Retreating the barest amount, she clicked her tongue.
“Zaeden, if you don’t kiss me back, I’ll have to find someone else to help with this desire that *you* spawned,” she said, “and I’d rather not do that.”
For a moment, I could only blink at her, but when she rolled her eyes, about to turn away, I did as she'd asked. As always with her, I quickly got lost in it, but I wasn’t too far gone to miss when Korix released my arm. Without thought, I shot my hand out, wrapping my fingers in his waistband. He wasn’t going anywhere, damnit, not even a few steps away.
Unfortunately, he didn’t seem to agree with my resolve, trying to escape from me, and the struggle of maintaining my hold pulled my attention away from Leski. Groaning, she broke our kiss to throw her head back.
“Mother Time, you two,” she said under her breath.
She strode a few steps away before plopping into the grass. Glancing at us, she patted the ground beside her, and with my head cocked, I sat as she’d instructed. Korix reluctantly followed, and once we were both on the ground, Leski clicked her tongue again, obviously frustrated with us.
“It’s like I have to do everything,” she said.
Getting to her knees, she tugged me next to Korix before shuffling to face us, and for a moment, she merely stared while sucking on her lip. Then, she displayed an evil grin. Oh, no. What was she-?
“Perfect,” she said.
Then, she tackled us. Normally, a person of her size wouldn’t come anywhere close to toppling me or Korix, but with a grin, I let it happen, grabbing Korix’s arm on the way down. That added force pulled him backward along with us.
“You know…” I drawled, “if you wanted a cuddle pile, all you had to do was ask.”
“Shut up and snuggle me, you snarky bastard,” Leski said into my chest.
Laughing, I threw an arm around her before twisting in place, getting her between me and Korix. While I cuddled as close to her as I could, he raised himself up onto an elbow, watching us with his eyebrows drawn together. After a moment of this, Leski again groaned, slapping at me until I loosened my hold.
Craning her neck toward Korix, she said, “You too, scary man. Cuddle me. Now. Unless you don’t want to, of course.”
Korix lifted an eyebrow.
“What makes you think you can order me around?” he mildly asked.
“Necessity,” Leski said. “If I hadn’t changed something, both of you would have been awkward messes around me, which I *for sure* do not want, so here we are. And I hope to Mother Time that you never make me order you around again. I don’t like doing it.”
Confusion passed over Korix’s face until he saw the smirk on my face. Then, he went blank.
“I see,” he said.
“She’s also a tease,” I said.
“I see that too.”
“Hey! I’m right here,” Leski said. “Also. You.”
Awkwardly reaching behind herself, she poked Korix’s chest.
“Cuddles. Right fucking now. That or tell us you don’t want to so we can get back to our beds.”
When he didn’t move, I decided to help Leski along, going deadly serious.
“Please, Ko. I know you like this sort of thing,” I said. “It’ll be good for you, and everyone here could use it after the last few weeks.”
Lifting his eyes to the sky, Korix sighed, but he lay back down, and for a while, I closed my eyes, enjoying the rare opportunity of having two partners so physically close to me. Soon enough, we’d need to head home, but for now… for now, I let myself rest.
Korix and Leski talked in halting sentences, ones that became more animated with every minute that passed. During this conversation, Leski might have played the part of the teasing flirt, and perhaps Korix inched a little closer to her. I wouldn’t know. In my haze of contentment, all I heard was the people I cared for interacting with each other. Happy.
They were happy. That was all I wanted.
Clutching them to me, I said, “It doesn’t matter what Lutov or the world might need from me. You are the reason that I fight.”
I didn’t care if Korix stiffened at those words. I didn’t care that I was unsure if I could fully reciprocate Leski’s feelings. I didn’t care what challenges I was facing, either with them or in a general sense. With these two people, I’d found a sense of family that I hadn’t felt in ages, and I’d be damned if I was letting it go.
# Addendum
In the end, I had to let them go, no matter how unwillingly. You and your family have served as a wonderful stopgap for what I’ve lost, Elliot, but you can never fill the hole of what I’ve left behind, much as they could never do the same for you.
Two things you should know before you fall into the despondency that my assertion might have invoked.
One: my family dynamic changed long before I met you. Years ago, one of us was prematurely lost to the Collective, and those of us who survived never recovered from it.
Two: the fact that you haven’t replaced an abandoned family makes you no less important. You’ve carved a place into my heart as deep as Leski and Korix ever claimed.
Anyway, this signals the beginning of this story's conclusion. Only a few days linger between what you just heard and what’s soon to come. I hope you enjoy the next bit, Elliot. These days shaped me into the type of *Lokke Vitras* that I would play over the decades, but I suppose you’ll see that soon enough.
# Chapter 89: Questionable Disciplinary Action
Carefully, I lifted the decanter on my grandmother’s sideboard and tilted it over my flask’s narrow opening, watching the resulting trickle of amber liquid with my tongue caught between my teeth. I needed steady hands for this, couldn’t allow a drop to spill, but when *someone* was glaring at me from where he was leaning against a glass wall, it didn’t help with my focus.
“You shouldn’t play pranks on your *shukusen.”* Korix said.
“She’s also my grandmother,” I said. “Plus, she’s used to it.”
With a sigh, Korix said, “Zaeden…”
Resting an empty decanter on the sideboard, I capped my flask, raising an eyebrow as I did so.
“Yes?”
Korix just stared at me, and rolling my eyes, I exchanged one flask for another.
“Come on, Ko. In all your years together, you’ve never wanted to spread a little mischief at Talira’s expense?” I said. “I know I did when you first started training me.”
Crossing his arms, Korix looked expectantly at me, but I merely grinned at him. If he was going to use such an easy cop-out, he’d have to speak the words.
*“Shukusen* Talira was my *evushk* as well as the *Lokke Vitras* before me,” he said, “and she was good at it. Better than me.”
I knew this. He’d had me watch enough holodramas of her missions before.
“You didn’t answer my question,” I said, resting one hand on a hip. “If you’ve ever wanted to play a prank on my grandmother, you should do it now. Once we’ve handled this crisis, I doubt you’ll spend much time in this room, and with me here now, she’ll never blame this prank on you. After all, who has a history of being a troublesome brat?”
I extended the second flask to Korix, and he fixed his gaze on it with indecision rife on him. He clearly wanted to take what I was offering, but ingrained habits made that difficult for him. That was ok. I liked tempting him, in this and every other way, and over the years, I’d become an expert at it.
With a special smirk in place, I shook what I was holding, and clicking his tongue, Korix pushed himself off of the window, marching my way. He snatched the flask from me, popping it open while grabbing the decanter. Without hesitation, he transferred colored water from one container to the other, and slapping the emptied flask to my chest, he made to storm away, but I grabbed his wrist before he could.
“See?” I said. “That wasn’t so bad, was it?”
Korix huffed, flicking his eyes away from me, and stashing the flask, I took his other hand, squeezing it with a half-smile.
“A little harmless defiance is good for the spark of your soul, Ko,” I said.
Blowing out a breath, Korix lifted his eyes skyward with a headshake.
“You’re such a bad influence on me,” he said.
“Yes,” I drawled, “but!”
Releasing my hold on him, I lifted a finger.
“I’m good for you too.”
Chuckling, Korix drew me to him, resting his chin on my shoulder.
“As I’ve said before, you save me,” he said.
I wrapped my arms under his, contentedly sighing. His warmth seeped into me, finding every worry in my head and ripping them out, and almost, I could forget why we were here.
In the window opposite me, though, I watched Talira stride into her office, stopping short when she saw us, and it all came rushing back in. She cleared her throat.
“Excuse me, my most capable of warriors, but we have work to do,” she said, “and I need a drink.”
Of course. Meeting with the *shukusenth,* as she’d just done, could be absolutely maddening.
Untangling from each other, Korix and I took our seats while Talira poured herself a drink. When she joined us at her desk, I maintained a straight face while keeping half an eye on Korix. I knew he’d never give us away but…
Sinking into her chair, Talira said, “Right. I hope you two are prepared for disappointment because I have nothing but bad news.”
With a grimace, she lifted her tumbler to her lips, taking a sip, and froze. Slowly, she lowered her drink, glowering at me, and I innocently batted my eyes.
“Zaeden, no House, you’d better not have gotten rid of my brandy,” she growled.
Cocking my head, I frowned.
“I don’t know what you mean,” I said.
Slapping her desk, Talira snapped, *“Grandson!”*
Grinning, I was fully prepared to continue protesting my innocence, but leaning over his chair’s arm, Korix fished a flask from my pocket before tossing it to Talira. Catching it, she turned an incredulous stare on him.
“You knew about this and didn’t stop it?” she said.
Settling back in his chair, Korix crossed his arms.
“Should I have?” he said. “I saw no harm in it, given that my once *evushk* would never fall for such a prank. Unless she meant to, of course.”
Reddening, Talira made a choked noise, and I fought to keep my face blank, leaving laughter burbling in my head. Korix was having far too much fun with this.
“You… *Both* of you…”
Mother Time, I’d never seen Talira struck speechless before. It was a little frightening, actually.
“You did tell us to relax when we last saw you, my *shukusen,”* Korix continued, as if oblivious of her growing outrage. “So far as I can tell, this is one of the ways that Zaeden best does that.”
Talira clicked her teeth together.
Perhaps it was because I’d never expected violence in this room, typically a bastion of order, but I didn’t track what happened over the next five seconds, only that something was happening, and I responded to it. When I’d next sat down, Talira was on her feet, pointing her rifle toward where Korix had been lounging. One of his poor chair’s legs had been blasted into oblivion, toppling the whole of it.
Meanwhile, he looked down on the mess with a knife poised to throw in his hand.
“Was that necessary?” he said.
Shrugging, Talira had her rifle dissipate.
“I had to make sure Zaeden’s influence hasn’t dulled your training,” she said. “And you!”
When she turned on me, I dug my fingers into my chair.
“Why are you still there?” she snapped. “I’ve read the reports on your training. You’re better than this.”
Wordlessly, I lifted the flask that she’d dropped on her desk mere seconds ago.
“I knew you two wouldn’t kill each other,” I said. “No matter how much you deny it, too many things connect you for one to endanger the other. Not over something this trivial at least.”
Popping the flask open, I took a long swallow from it, watching Talira the whole time, before returning it to her.
Flopping into my seat once more, I said, “Can we please start this meeting, whatever it’s about? Phen wants my help at The Library soon.”
In the last week, my brother had become obsessed with the stronghold behind one of that place's archways, the one we theorized might have been a Founder's labs. Last night, he’d returned from it as I’d been leaving, babbling and jumping around like a rubber ball. In other words, manic as hell.
He’d insisted that I needed to go through that arch again—something about having me identify a vehicle in the hangar I'd briefly seen when I'd last been there—and after he’d promised to make the process as safe and comfortable as possible, I’d had no reason to refuse him. While I wasn’t looking forward to helping my brother with something I’d rather never do, I also didn’t want to have it hovering over me for longer than necessary.
So, if we could get this meeting over with, it would be helpful, but when I focused on them, Talira and Korix weren’t showing me the indignation that I’d expected.
After they exchanged a glance, he said, “You see?”
“I do,” she said.
Wait. See what?
Before I could ask what they’d meant, Talira sat, and Korix shook his head at the broken mess at his feet.
“What a waste of good furniture,” he said.
And now, he didn’t have a chair. Well, except-
“You can sit on my lap if you want,” I said, “or I can move.”
“Not necessary,” Korix said.
Gliding in front of me, he folded to the ground before leaning against my chair and oo… those black curls lying *right there.* My fingers twitched.
With an exasperated sigh, Korix reached behind himself to grab my wrist, firmly pressing my palm atop his head.
“I sat here for a reason,” he said.
I couldn’t help my happy hum as I tangled my fingers in his hair, and at that, he relaxed more fully against the chair.
“You two are sickeningly adorable,” Talira said. “Can you continue in this manner with the focus needed to absorb my news, or should I separate you?”
“We’ll be fine,” I said. “Tell us the bad news, *shukusen.”*
Slumping, Talira retrieved the flask that I’d dropped on her desk, getting the drink that she’d needed since arriving.
“This morning, all of the *shukusenth,* except for Alezand of course, finally convened to discuss House Cerullis. For this first talk, I left the Ancients and our missing weapons out, hoping to avoid a panic, but I’m beginning to think I shouldn’t have,” she sourly said. “Their responses were predictable, as usual. Whenever there’s a crisis—”
“—we’re expected to take care of it alone,” Korix finished. “It’s a reasonable policy most of the time. Kolb is in charge of keeping the peace, after all, but for something this big…”
“The Houses need to collaborate,” I hissed, “but no, that’s not how this damn House system works.”
They snapped their eyes to me with Korix tilting his head back for it, and I internally winced. Had I said that out loud?
“For once, I agree with you about this,” Korix said. “If Lutov is lost because the Houses refuse to work together, you’d probably laugh, wouldn’t you?”
I lightly slapped him.
“No. How could I laugh at so many lives lost?” I said. “Don’t even suggest it.”
But he just buried his face in my leg.
“What was I thinking? Of course you wouldn’t,” he said. “You aren’t capable of something so callous.”
Making a face, I massaged Korix’s scalp while holding my grandmother’s gaze.
“So, we can’t expect help from Drav or the others,” I said. “What are we going to do?”
“That’s what I’ve been contemplating, and frankly, I’m at a loss,” Talira said. “I’m hoping that the three of us together can birth an idea of some sort. Anything would do right now.”
She was coming up blank? The greatest *Lokke Vitras* that Lutov had seen in centuries, one of the few who’d survived the role long enough to replace her *shukusen?* How could we solve this when she couldn’t?
Apparently, this meeting was going to be a lot more frustrating and complicated than I'd anticipated.
# Chapter 90: I Know What to Do
As if to echo my unease, Korix shifted in front of me, but we couldn’t let it overcome us. If we did nothing, the Ancients won.
“We could temporarily neutralize *their* threat. Remove all of Cerullis’ members who are under an Ancient’s sway,” I said. “I have someone in the House who could help us distinguish between them.”
“Enough to thoroughly cleanse the House?” Talira asked. “And what do we do with the people we ‘remove’? If we start killing them, the other Houses will move against us, and they have the numbers and tech needed to badly damage Kolb.
“It’d be the same if we imprisoned any Cerullis members too. Unless we put them in stasis, anyone with an Ancient in their head will have their brain fried, something that the others will blame on us. And you both know that if we explained a plan like this before executing it, the other *shukusenth* wouldn’t listen. We’d be stopped before we could make a move.”
Yeah, she was right, and those outcomes would be disastrous.
“How about quarantining the House, then?” I said. “We could tell the citizens that during their research, Cerullis has unleashed an alien disease, something that our arrays can’t purge from the body. That would explain any deaths that the Ancients cause, although I doubt *they’d* discard of useful tools so easily, and while news of a plague might cause a panic, we could handle it.”
But Talira was already shaking her head.
“It’s an excellent idea. It would also, without a doubt, cause a war between the Houses,” she said. “You don’t fully grasp the precarity of Lutov’s power balance. We may have been at peace for millennia, but many of the hostilities from before the homeland’s founding have carried over to the present, and the last few decades have seen us skating over violence on the thinnest of ice. Our ability to take our aggression out on Ibis has been our only saving grace. Tipping us into a war wouldn’t take much.”
Groaning, I rubbed my eyes before pinching my nose. And people wondered why I despised this system.
“Well, that’s two ideas from me,” I said. “If either of you feel like chipping in, it would be *fantastic.”*
They had nothing to say, though, and dropping my hands into my lap, I beamed my annoyance at them. I was the least experienced of us. I couldn’t be the only one with an idea.
As I glared at them, however, I noticed how much tension had taken hold of Korix. He was huddled on himself, or he’d done so as much as his rigid control would allow him to, and a frown tickled at his lips.
“We could capture Alezand, see if we can reason with him-” Talira started.
“I’ve been withholding something,” Korix said in a rush.
I paused in my comb of his hair while Talira stopped breathing, removing her hands from her desk. I had no doubt that she was brushing a weapon’s grip under there.
“Pray tell me *what,* my *Lokke Vitras,* have you thought acceptable to keep secret in these turbulent times?” she asked.
Similar questions were running through my head. Until now, I hadn’t realized how thoroughly my trust in him had been shaken. Yes, I was already dismissing the likelihood of another betrayal, but for a moment, a part of me had considered it possible.
Hugging himself, Korix found me above him.
“I’m your *evushk,”* he said. “I promise you, Zae. I’m not the man who hurt you.”
He watched me until I slowly nodded before lowering his head to Talira.
“The… *thing* in my head made some changes besides what you’ve already seen in my brain scan,” he said. *“It’s* not controlling me, but there’s a… link—the best word for it—between me and *it.* I can… hear? Feel? I don’t know how to describe the sensation, but that doesn’t matter. What does is that through this link, I know what my Ancient is planning and wanting. *It* can’t do much in *its* prison but *its* desires? Oo…”
Korix shuddered.
“The Ancients don’t have emotions, nor can *they* comprehend them, but I’d translate what *it’s* ‘feeling’ as a need to weaken Lutov and- and-”
A sharp gasp filled the silence, and after vigorously scrubbing his face, Korix turned to me, resting his hand on my knee.
*“It* wants me, *its* former puppet, or alternatively, you, the one who stole me, in *its* grasp so *it* can… hurt us, and I can only assume that same desire stretches to the other Ancients as well. Not much differentiation exists in *their* species.”
A roar filled my ear, and from a distance, I watched myself lay my hand atop his. I’d attracted *their* attention. Not only that but I’d become one of *their* worst enemies, someone *they’d* focus on until this was over.
I saw why Korix had kept this to himself. Sure, he probably hadn’t wanted to distress me, but he also must have known the conclusions that I’d draw from what he’d shared, the only useful ones to be gained from this information, and meeting his eyes…
Yes. In them, I saw the knowledge of what I’d do. I also saw his plea for me to refrain from it, felt it when he squeezed my knee.
“Well, then. This would have been nice to know when you woke up from stasis,” Talira said. “I’m assuming this ‘link’ only works one way. Otherwise, you’d never have endangered Lutov by attending our planning sessions.”
“Of course it’s one way, my *shukusen.* My primary purpose is and always will be to keep the homeland safe,” Korix told her.
But to me, he said, *Please. Don’t do this.*
The muffling roar in my ears dropped to silence with my decision made, and I brushed my thumb along Korix’s hand.
“Maybe we can use this,” Talira said. “If we release the Ancient that we’re holding captive, perhaps we can-”
Breaking Korix’s hold on me, I shot to my feet before striding for the door.
“What do you think you’re doing?” Talira snapped behind me. “We’re not done here.”
“I’m doing my job,” I said. “You and Korix can figure out what to do without me, right?”
“Probably not as quickly, but yes,” Talira said. “Zae-zae, what are you planning?”
In front of me, the door slid open, but I stopped, glancing over my shoulder.
“Don’t give me that, grandmother. You know exactly what I’m planning,” I said with a sigh. “Korix says that the Ancients want him or me, and removing either of us would also weaken Lutov, meeting *their* second desire. Therefore, one of us can delay *them,* holding *their* attention for a short time, and we’ll sorely need that time, *shukusen*. Between me and my *evushk,* my absence will cause the least damage, given my lack of experience, and when weighing that damage against the gain that we might achieve here, it’s pretty clear which of those wins out.”
With her face red and her eyes wet, Talira slammed her palms on her desk. I wasn’t sure when she’d risen to her feet.
“So, you’re going to what?” she shouted. “Walk into Cerullis’ headquarters and surrender yourself to them? Let the Ancients…”
Something strangled her voice, and I looked to Korix for help, but he wouldn’t meet my gaze, holding his arms tight around his chest.
“Isn't this what the *Lokke Vitras* is called to do?” I asked. “The first part of our mantra even demands it. Sacrifice self. I know I’m not the *Lokke Vitras* yet-”
“You might as well be,” Korix said.
Shooting a glare at him, I said, “This is the right thing to do, our best option right now.”
“NO!”
Jumping, I jerked toward Talira and snapped my eyes wide open on seeing tears rolling over her cheeks.
“You will not be a self-sacrificing moron. I read enough of those stories in my daily reports,” she said. “I order you to be more selfish. Go home, and stay there. Your *evushk* and I will work this problem while you… think about what you’re suggesting.”
Internally sighing, I bowed to her.
“Yes, *shukusen,”* I said.
Even as I rose to my full height, though, Korix was shaking his head.
“That won’t stop him. He’s unHoused. You’re not his *shukusen*, and so, your orders mean nothing to him,” he said. “Even if he were House Kolb, I’m not sure they’d mean much.”
Clicking my tongue, I crossed my arms, tapping a finger on an elbow.
“Damnit, *evushk.”*
Ignoring me, Korix said, “You need to tell him, Talira.”
…Tell me what?
Swallowing hard, Talira hung her head, splaying her fingers on her desk.
After a long, tense silence, she said, “How long has it been since your House naming ceremony?”
“Since I started my training, you mean?” I said. “Eleven years, nine months, sixteen days, and… I wasn’t supposed to go that far, was I?”
I’d guess the answer was no, based on the looks I was getting.
Slowly shaking her head, Talira said, “Almost twelve years, and look at you.”
I obliged, glancing down at my body.
“Yes?” I said.
Squeezing her eyes closed, Talira took a deep breath before dropping into her chair and hiding her face.
“For the last nine years, I’ve dreaded getting your *evushk’s* reports on you,” she said. “With everything I know about you, I knew that you’d learn quickly. Your logic and intelligence scores along with your years of practice before you were chosen would allow nothing less, but I was wrong. You’ve advanced through your training at lightspeed, Zae-zae. If we weren’t in the middle of a crisis, I’d give your *evushk* the release he so desperately needs, elevating you, because you’re ready to assume the mantle. After only twelve years.
“Before you came along, do you know what the record was for the fastest of us to go through our training? Twenty-six years and we don’t talk about that *Lokke Vitras* much. Yes, she burned brightly, but her flame quickly died as well.
“Fourteen years separate the training that you’ve needed from what she did. Fourteen!”
Choking off, Talira dragged her fingers through her hair as she met my eyes.
“I’m afraid for you, grandson, just as much as you terrify me,” she whispered.
Korix’s words on my birthday had returned to haunt me, but this was worse. This was an assertion with facts to back it up. This was my grandmother speaking it, and I was stuck between breaths. If I moved even a fraction, I was afraid I’d further jump out of the mold that I’d made for myself. Sure, I liked people watching me, but I wanted to remain anonymous to them, someone to be admired and quickly forgotten. I didn’t want a reputation like this following me.
Besides, what did it have to do with my plan?
“What she’s saying is that you have something that’s worth as much as experience: potential,” Korix said. “Losing the *Lokke Vitra*s that you could become would be devastating for Lutov. It would be just as bad as Talira’s loss or mine or the premature death of any *Lokke Vitras* who’s come before us, if they were here. Just as bad as the loss of any Lutovish to our enemy.”
“As devastating as them destroying the homeland?” I shot back.
Korix looked down his nose at me.
“All we want is a little more time before you throw your life away,” Talira said. “Give us until sundown tomorrow. If you *evushk* and I don’t come up with something by then, we can discuss your plan again.”
Discuss, meaning they’d try to argue me out of it once more. Still, what was the harm in waiting for a little while? House Cerullis and the Ancients hadn’t made a peep in three weeks. Not only that but we'd found most of the lost weapons, identified in a recent inventory. Given those two facts, what were a couple more days delay?
“Fine,” I said, heading back to my chair.
Talira shot her hand up.
“No. You won’t do any good in this discussion, not after you’ve already decided on a course of action,” she said. “You’ll go to your parents’ apartment, and if I hear that you’ve set foot outside of it before tomorrow evening, I will make your life hell, even if I’m not your *shukusen.*
“Maybe you can take the time to speak with your parents. I’d love to have a few days where I don’t get a frantic message from Ximon about you.”
Yes… I should do that, especially if we ended up going with my plan. That would be fun. Then again, maybe I could get out of it.
“I’m supposed to help Phen-”
“Your brother can spend a day doing research without you,” Talira said. “Go home, or I’ll sedate you and take you there myself.”
I supposed I didn’t have a choice, then.
Once again, I bowed.
“Yes, *shukusen,”* I said.
I'd almost made it over the threshold before Talira continued speaking behind me.
“You go with him, my *Lokke Vitras.* We can continue our discussion via messages, and I don’t trust Zaeden to do as he’s told. He’ll run off at the first chance he gets.”
My foot, halfway through a step, heavily thudded to the ground, and I winced. She was right. Once I got bored, I probably would leave.
Shaking my head, I started toward a lift.
“I’ll watch him, my *shukusen,”* Korix said.
So, he’d watch me for signs of escape while I’d monitor him for signs of betrayal. It would be like the first year of my training all over again, that time when both of us had expected an attack from the other person.
“Good. Now, get out of here!” Talira said. “I have things to do.”
In my mind’s eye, I could see her flapping a hand at Korix, and when he caught up with me, I glanced at him from the corner of my eye. Was he afraid of me like Talira was? I didn’t know what to think of everything else she’d claimed, but if it meant that the man I loved was afraid of me…
Korix twirled between me and the lift, clasping my shoulders with the most serious of expressions in place.
“You were right,” was all he said.
Raising an eyebrow, I said, “Yes, that’s how it usually goes. What am I right about this time?”
A… holy shit, was that a…? A *mischievous smirk* climbed onto Korix’s face.
“Defying my once *evushk* felt good,” he said.
With a quick kiss, he released me, resting a finger on my nose.
“Don’t ever think about doing the same thing to me.”
He took a step into the lift, and once he’d disappeared through the ceiling, I could only blink at it with my lips parted, but soon enough, laughter nearly bowled me over. I clung to the wall, half-aware of Talira’s annoyed shout leaking through her office’s closed door. Every day that Korix stepped further out of his enforced shell was one full of lovely surprises for me.
Hell, I hoped someone crafted a better solution to our crisis than mine. I’d hate to leave someone so wonderful behind.
# Chapter 91: Setting Boundaries
When we reached the apartment, Ace barreled through its door to me, but like the good boy he was, he didn’t indulge in his obvious desire to jump on me. Instead, he wove back and forth, excitedly hopping, until I acknowledged his existence, but once I had, he switched his attention to Korix.
It was good to see him adapting to new circumstances. For a little over eleven years, he’d had the same routine, and I hadn’t been sure how he’d react to a disruption of it.
Leski followed in Ace’s wake, grabbing my head to kiss me. Wrapping my arms around her, I squeezed them while dumping my accumulated tension. Damn, but coming home to this had been nice over these last few days.
As usual, when we broke apart, Korix was awkwardly standing beside us, lifting his eyes over our heads. I’d asked him about that, wondering if he was comfortable with me kissing Leski when we were around him, but he'd insisted that the strain I was observing in him wasn’t a reaction to our affectionate displays. He’d just gone for so long believing that attachments like ours were anathema to who he was that he instinctively rejected them. At first. A tiny part of me screamed doubt of this claim, unsure whether I was treating my partners as they deserved, but I believed him, if only for one reason.
Momentarily finished with me, Leski leapt at Korix, hugging him. As he did whenever I attacked him like that, Korix froze up, but Leski kept squeezing him until he relaxed, returning her embrace just as fiercely.
I wasn’t sure what was going on with those two. Definite fondness lay there now, but I didn’t know if they were attracted to one another or if I was all that linked them.
Not that it was any of my business. Those two could figure out their relationship on their own, thanks very much.
“Leski, have you seen my parents?” I asked.
“They’re in their room,” she said into Korix’s chest. “Why?
Breaking free, she eyed me, and I shrugged.
“I need to talk to them,” I said.
They exchanged a knowing glance, which… hmm. I didn’t know what to think of that. It implied a collusion of sorts, and having my partners working together for my perceived benefit didn’t sound fun.
Also. When had I started thinking of Leski as a partner instead of someone I was dating?
“Where can I find you once I’m done?” I asked. “Ko, I assume you’ll need somewhere for your work?”
“That would be best,” he said. “I was planning on using the apartment’s sitting room unless someone needs it.”
“I doubt anyone will. Feena won’t be back until mid-day, and depending on how our conversation goes, my parents… they won’t disturb you,” I said. “Leski?”
Cocking her head at Korix, she said, “Unless it will bother you, I’d like to be in the same room as you, but I should warn you. I need to practice. I haven’t touched my violin in almost a week.”
With his hands behind his back, Korix faintly smiled.
“I wouldn’t mind,” he said. “I’ve been looking forward to hearing you play. Zae says you’re quite good.”
Blushing, Leski hid behind her hair.
“Then, I guess I’ll perform for you today,” she said.
“Excellent!” I said, glancing toward the apartment’s door. “Excellent.”
Mother Time, I didn’t want to do this. Still. It must be done.
So, I absently said, “I’ll see you soon.”
And I headed out of the hangar. Behind me, Leski and Korix said something in farewell.
I didn’t hear it. Forcing one foot in front of the other, I made it into the apartment, although its familiar halls felt like corridors in an enemy’s home today. Knowing that Korix was watching me through the place’s recorders helped. I wasn’t sure when his habit of monitoring had become a source of comfort for me.
When I reached my parents’ room, I didn’t override its lock or storm inside. Who knew what they were doing in there? While stumbling onto their more intimate moments had never bothered me, I knew it embarrassed them, and we didn’t need extra stressors today. Plus, you know, invasion of privacy.
So, instead, I sent them a message, letting them know I was here. I didn’t have to wait long before the door slid open with dad hanging from its frame, panting and disheveled.
“Zaeden,” he gasped.
What was I supposed to say? Did I start with hostility, as I so badly wanted to? Did I fall into formality to shield myself?
No. Let’s make this easy for everyone.
Prodding a sloppy smile onto my lips, I chirped, “Hey, dad! We should talk.”
Frowning, dad said, “Of… course. Let me move your mother along, and we can go…”
He seemed at a loss as to how he could finish that sentence, so I stepped in.
“How about we use the garden?” I said. “It’s open with several escape routes available, which should make everyone comfortable. I think.”
“That’s… not a bad idea,” dad said, “considering-”
Again, I saw fear flicker in a parent, and I sucked air through my teeth, dropping my smile while my hands folded into fists at my side.
“I won’t hurt you or mom or anyone else in this family,” I hissed. “What will it take for you to believe that? Why would the thought have crossed your mind in the first place? Hell, you’re the ones who decided to associate with me again, baffling as I find it. Why would you do that if you’re still so afraid of me?”
Damn, why was he making this harder than it needed to be? I was already tempted to abandon this conversation and leave things as they were between us. I didn’t need anything else to shove me away.
“I- You’re right,” dad said.
Pushing off of the doorframe, he lifted his hands in appeasement.
“I’m sorry.”
I had so many things that I wanted to say. Things like ‘You’re apologizing a lot these days’ or ‘Why should I care?’ Instead, I consciously loosened each muscle, and while I smiled, I wasn’t sure if it was as carefree as it had been before.
“I know,” I said. “I’ll meet you in the garden.”
I hardly registered my walk there, not with my mind in a haze and everything going cold. The cheery Zaeden that my parents knew might be the part that I chose to play with them, but it would be a persona and nothing more. Inside, I’d stay numb because I couldn’t let them hurt me again and…
I wouldn’t let them see me break down. I. would. not.
Honestly, it felt strange to be in this position in the first place. I’d seen a lot of children hurt by their parents, and rarely had the parents apologized for what they’d done. Then again, most people didn’t want to admit to their faults…
It was just strange. I’d never thought to receive an apology from them, not for this or anything else they’d done. It was surprising how much something that should have felt nice could instead feel so terrible.
When they arrived, I was examining mom’s rose bed. She’d always had an affinity for plants, but roses were, by far, her favorite flower to work with.
I liked them because of their thorns, always had. With them, I could use a broken bit of stem to prick my thumb while hiding it in my pocket. Those sharp stabs had always helped me manage stressful situations when I’d been younger. Right now, they were keeping me from exploding into an angry mess.
Without a word, we took a seat around an unlit fire pit, and I was faced with a quandary. In this situation, what would the Zaeden they knew do?
“So,” I said. “Five years.”
Wincing, dad shifted in place while mom sat stock still.
Cracking a weak smile, I asked, “What have you been up to? Go on any interesting missions?”
Mom squeezed her eyes closed.
“We shouldn’t get distracted right now,” she said.
Ok, then. If they wanted to get straight to the point, I could oblige.
“You rejected me. For years,” I said. “I’m a little unclear what you expect from me after that.”
I refused to see their flinches or the tears that sprang to life in mom’s eyes. At times, the Zaeden they’d known could be as cold as I was right now.
“We don’t expect anything,” dad said, “but whatever you’re willing to give, we’ll be happy to accept. And if that’s nothing…”
“Then, we’ll survive. It would be what we deserve, after all,” mom finished for him.
Would it, though? Would it *really?* For something like this, I didn’t think so and… and…
Why were they being so remorseful right now? It was contradictory to everything I’d ever learned about human behavior.
Maybe they thought I’d eventually become spiteful toward them, and considering what I’d one day become, they’d decided to try currying favor now, when I might still forgive them. Maybe they thought they could use a powerful connection in the future, although with Talira in the question, I didn’t see why they’d want something like that from me.
And why apologize for this, out of everything…?
I shook my head, trying to focus my whirling thoughts. Perhaps it was best if I didn’t start with what I was willing to give them, considering how that might end. Perhaps it was best to dig straight to the heart of our problem.
“I understand what you did. When you made the decision to distance yourselves from me, it might even have been the right call,” I said. “You didn’t know how I’d play the role of the *Lokke Vitras* or how thoroughly I’d refuse to surrender my loved ones, and after you saw how little this role has changed me, you reached out, no matter how late that might have come.
“I can’t, however, forget what’s happened. What you did will ever hang between us, and because of that, these relationships that we hold have been irrevocably changed. I don’t know if I’ll ever love you in the same way.”
Shrinking on herself, mom reached out for dad, and he clutched her like she was the only thing keeping him afloat. I watched this, and my anger feasted on a scene of pain, so much less than what I’d endured. I let these furious emotions fill me until they overflowed, almost choking on them.
Instead, I breathed them out.
“But I do love you. You’re my parents, for Mother Time’s sake,” I said. “I choose to love you. I choose to forgive you because what good will holding onto hate do me? I don’t want to be whiplashed by pain every time I think about you.
“This, however, doesn’t mean that things are immediately better between us. I probably won’t visit either of you for a long while yet. I will invite you to significant events in my life because I won’t deny you that, and you may always ask to see me, but I reserve the right to refuse. If you want to stay in my life, those are my terms.”
Falling silent, I ground my knuckles into my hand’s carpal bones, refusing to show any other sign of what was blazing through me. Since arriving here, how many times had I talked through these conditions with Leski? Not once had I gone to Korix because he couldn’t relate but Leski? She had *Niklaus* for a father.
Talira had been holding that man in one of House Kolb's temporary apartments at headquarters. Over the last three weeks, she'd been forcing him to divest of every Favor he held from other people, slowly lessening his grip on the power he'd once had. She'd told me that soon, he'd only wield the typical amount that a Second Stratus like him could have, and I was glad for that.
We might have negated the damage he'd done by giving Cerullis weapons—while we hadn't located all those missing, we'd found the ones he'd supplied at least—but I wanted to cut off any other sources of influence that he might have now. Hopefully, it would both lessen any work he might cause me in the future and keep him from intimidating Leski into doing anything she'd rather not.
I wrenched my thoughts away from Niklaus when my mother opened her mouth to speak.
“We accept,” she said. “Of course we accept.”
Mother Time, their eyes were bright. The sight turned my stomach, and I had to remind myself that I’d chosen forgiveness, not hatred. I knew my feelings toward my parents wouldn’t fade overnight, but when looking at my options for resolving this conflict, I’d picked the one that would cause the least damage to everyone involved. I’d abide by my decision.
Even if I still didn’t fully understand why something this improbable had happened in the first place.
“I’m glad to hear it,” I said before slapping my knees. “Now, would you stop cowering around me while I’m here? This is your home, after all.”
“We’ll do our best,” dad said.
“May-?”
Stopping, mom licked her lips.
“May we hug you, Zae?”
And the air I breathed was ice.
Standing, I said, “It’s Zaeden. But yes, you may.”
They descended on me as if long-starved of my presence, which they had been in a way, and I just… stood there. I couldn’t return their embraces, but I did let them pull me close and rub my back or hair. Quickly enough, however, I cleared my throat, and they backed off.
“I have things to do,” I said.
What a big, fat fucking lie. Mom smiled like she saw through my bullshit.
“Thank you for speaking with us,” she said.
“You’re… welcome,” I said with the words pulled from me like teeth out of a jaw bone.
I had nothing else to give them.
# Chapter 92: Waiting
As soon as I was out of sight, I took off at House Kolb speed toward the apartment’s sitting room. When I entered it, I hardly slowed down, launching myself at the sectional sofa where Korix was sitting. While he grunted at my body’s impact with him, the sweet sound of a violin fell silent, and hurried footsteps pounded toward me. Leski landed beside us, right as Ace dropped his front paws beside my ankles, and pulling himself away from me, Korix jostled my dog off of the couch. He rolled so that I was sandwiched between him and Leski, and there I lay, curled in a ball.
I didn’t cry into Korix’s chest, no matter how much I might want to. I just took shuddering gasps until the tide receded, and once it had, I sat up.
“I didn’t mean to interrupt what you were doing,” I said. “Please, pretend like I’m not here.”
Again, my partners exchanged a glance, one I wasn’t sure I liked, and without wavering in that gaze, Korix took hold of my shirt, tugging me to the side. I landed at an awkward angle with my head on his chest. While he smoothed my hair down, Leski got between me and the back of the couch, and once I'd rolled over, she rested her chin on my arm, staring at me like Ace was doing at our side.
We stayed here for a while, moving every so often but resting within the comfort of one another’s arms. The entire time, Ace got spoiled by near-constant petting—unavoidable with my arm draped over the sofa’s cushions—and every so often, he licked my fingers, as if aware of my turmoiled state.
Eventually, Korix sat upright, absently caressing the air, and I shoved Leski off of the sofa. Making a face at me, she returned to her violin practice. With my head in Korix’s lap, my dog on the ground beside me, and Leski’s music singing in the air, I found my center with my stability returning.
Feena ruined it.
Racing into the sitting room, she shouted, “Have you seen this?”
The room’s holodrama plate lit up, displaying a woman wearing a grave expression. As she spoke behind a flashing ribbon of text, I got the chance to read ‘Azuwell Plains’ before the image switched to a simple building, half of which was resting on solid ground while the other half jutted out over a cliff face. Below this, the sea pounded against rock, and behind it, the distinctive, blue grid of a *galnuka* glowed.
“Is that-?” I started.
“House Zan’s research station near the Tainted Land’s demarcation line, yes,” Korix said.
The one the lower Strata had identified as the workplace of Niklaus' rival.
At that and the tone of Korix's voice, I stopped breathing. It was the tone that he took in the moments before an unexpected catastrophe occurred. Occasionally, his centuries spent playing the role of the *Lokke Vitras* gave him a sort of precognition of such things.
True to that, the barrier around the research station flickered before its distinctive sheen died. This alone wasn’t disastrous. Despite the station’s precarious perch, it had enough support to keep its mass aloft, even without a barrier in place. When several explosions brightened the line where the building met the cliff’s stone, however…
Slowly, the building started crumbling, and I watched with a crushed throat and burning eyes as half of it fell into the waves, dragging a good portion of the other half with it. Oh… Mother Time… This couldn’t be happening. I couldn’t- couldn’t-
“How… many…?” I asked.
I’d already requested the list of the station’s personnel by the time Korix answered.
“Two hundred and forty-six,” he said, “although some of them will have survived.”
Hell, he’d sounded empty.
*“Two hundred…?”* Leski squeaked.
All of us turned to her, this woman who still believed that everyone had an unalienable right to choose when they died. She absorbed the bleed-over of our horror, spilling it back to us from her eyes. Tears drizzled from them, but within a second, shock’s glaze had taken up residence there. I wondered how much of that numbness I was showing right now.
“We could have saved them,” I said. “If we'd joined the lower Strata in their search... If we'd persisted in looking for the missing explosions... If I’d done as I wanted this morning, they’d be alive.”
“Zae…” Korix said.
Whirling on him, I lifted a finger in his face.
“Don’t you ‘Zae’ me,” I snapped. “You and Talira shouldn’t have let sentiment or concern for our physical wellbeing keep you from doing what needed to be done. You should have acted like the *Lokke Vitras.* You should have let. me. do. my. job.”
I slammed the heel of my palm into his chest so hard that he rocked in place.
“Now, people are dead. Innocent people, Korix!”
Knocking my hand aside, Korix took hold of my arms, shaking me.
“You’re not letting yourself get *trapped in a broken body,”* he growled. “You haven’t experienced what *they* can do. I have. I won’t let you willingly take on that pain.”
The only other time he’d been this angry with me was after the Crescent Incident, and if I weren’t seeing red myself, I might find this concerning. As it was…
“You won’t *let* me?” I hissed. “What makes you think that you can stop me?”
As his face darkened, Korix took a breath, but before he could shout at me, someone stepped between us. Tear tracks glinted at Korix and me as brown eyes shot daggers at us. Leski.
“Hundreds of people have died, and this is how you respond?” she said. “By fighting with each other?”
She couldn’t know, didn’t feel the weight of so many sparks of souls, hadn’t increased a number in her array by another two hundred and forty-six. Mother Time, I’d killed a lot of people but never… never so many at once.
“I’m more curious why the two men who currently hold the words *‘Lokke Vitras’* in their titles are yelling at each other rather than plotting our next steps.”
Snapping my head up, I found Feena behind Korix, looking down her nose at me. Shit. She was right. And so was Leski.
Taking a deep breath, I stepped back.
“I’m sorry, Ko,” I said.
Hesitantly, he nodded, obviously wanting to reply in kind, but expressing regret had become foreign to him after centuries of being denied it. Shaking her head, Feena took a seat in an armchair while Leski faced me, displaying the fiercest look that I’d seen on her in a while.
“Letting yourself get trapped in a broken body?” she asked.
“That doesn’t matter at the moment,” I said.
A snarl pulsed in the air between us as she opened her mouth with a sneer.
“Leski!” I snapped. “I’m sorry, but I can’t soothe your fears right now. I don’t want that to happen again.”
I pointed at a holodrama plate, where a building was once more tumbling into the sea, and when she reluctantly stepped to the side, Korix and I faced the picture.
“This horror has to be *them,”* I said, “but it can’t be the cascade. That’s planned to begin in Xygek, and our disaster lies as far from the capital as you can get. So, what is it? Niklaus' revenge on his rival? A test run? And if it is that last one-?”
Korix interrupted before I could continue.
“It’s more likely an attempt to draw out our emergency responders,” he said, “and it’s working.”
He nodded to an image of a transport convoy that was speeding over the Preserve, presumably on its way to a demolished research station.
“We still have time,” he said. *“They’ll* want to ensure that our first responders are thoroughly ensnared with this mess before making another one.”
“Which gives us what? A few hours?” I said. “I should go to House Cerullis’ headquarters now and get those bastards thoroughly entangled with *me.”*
“That might stop the Ancients for a time, but what about House Cerullis?” Korix said. “Those explosions came from the weapons that were once stored in their Southern Fells facility, the last ones unaccounted for. Given their plans, Cerullis has to have more left as well, and without a barrier to protect a building, the House’s members can do whatever they want to it, as you well know. They could release poison gas in vent systems. Shoot rocket into exposed walls. Who knows what else?”
Sighing, I rubbed my forehead.
“I have options for handling Cerullis. Once I have the Ancients’ attention, I could get Jayla to start her House coup,” I said. “Or I could bargain with *them* to delay *their* plan. Without permission, *they* can only take over someone through emotional vulnerability, right? In exchange for getting House Cerullis to stand down, even if just for a day, I could offer my consent when it comes to taking me over, keeping *them* from fighting for control of me. You and Talira could get a lot done in a day. Now that we have a better idea of what the cascade will entail, you can prepare. Get ready for the fallout.”
“What makes you think *they’d* take a deal like that?” Korix snapped, interrupting me.
*“They’d* have a hard time getting into my head. I’m pretty healthy when it comes to emotions,” I said. “I could make it easy for *them.”*
Turning to me, Korix raised an eyebrow.
“Your parents?”
Why was he bringing them up?
“Sure, that hurt,” I huffed, “but I had a normal emotional response to what they did, and I dealt with it so it wouldn’t become an issue.”
Korix crossed his arms.
“Zae,” he softly said, “you see the faces of the people you’ve killed on average citizens.”
Wincing, I said, “Ok, I’ll give you that. I still think *they’d* rather delay *their* plan than fight for me, especially since postponing the cascade won’t upset it. Those emergency responders won’t be leaving the site of our current disaster anytime soon. Besides, I have yet to hear you or Talira offer an alternative plan.”
“We’re working on something,” Korix said. “Just-”
He ground his knuckles into his eyes.
“Will you at least wait until sundown? The emergency responders won’t reach the disaster zone until then, so nothing else is likely to happen before then. Please, Zae.”
I chewed on my lip, considering him.
“You and *shukusen* Talira are really working on something?” I asked.
“Yes.”
“Then, you have until sundown,” I said.
With the discussion complete, we turned to resume what we’d been doing before Feena had interrupted us, only to be confronted by her amused smile and Leski’s anxious glare.
“What?” I said.
“Are you two always like that when planning a mission?” Feena asked, sweeping her finger over us.
Frowning, I said, “No. Usually, he tells me what to do, and I do it.”
“That’s not what I meant. I-”
Feena clicked her tongue, seemingly searching for the words she needed.
“While you were speaking, you cycled through the three known tongues, sub-vocals, and some kind of signing code that I’ve never seen before,” Leski said.
My sister beamed gratitude for the help at Leski, which she barely caught. She was still trapped by worry.
“We… did?” I asked.
When they solemnly nodded at me, I glanced at Korix.
“Did you know we were doing that?” I asked.
“Yes. Keeping up with your switches can be exhausting at times, especially in recent years,” Korix said. “You didn’t know you were doing that?”
“I… No.”
How had I not noticed?
“I only caught about half of what you said,” Leski said. “Mind explaining to the audience?”
Yes, I very much did mind. Still, I’d answer her, but first.
Taking Korix’s hand, I guided him toward the sofa once more.
“The summary? I have a plan for this mess that Ko and my grandmother don’t like,” I said. “I agreed to wait until later tonight before carrying it out.”
Hauling Korix in front of me, I had him sit before climbing onto his lap.
“And what’s your plan?” Feena asked.
“Not something you should worry about. It probably won’t happen.”
Liar. I was such a liar.
“You might want to leave the room, Feena,” I said. “I plan to keep all three of us busy for a while.”
She groaned, but I didn’t hear much else. I pressed my lying lips to Korix’s before resting my forehead on his.
“I truly am sorry that I yelled at you,” I said.
“I know,” Korix said before smirking. “Zae, regret has no place-”
“Finish that sentence,” I growled. “I dare you.”
Shoving her head beneath my arm, Leski got between us, oscillating on who to look at before landing on me.
“Will you be ok?” she asked.
Brushing a strand of hair out of her face, I cupped her cheek.
“Whatever happens, everything will turn out fine eventually,” I said. “So, don’t waste your energy on worrying.”
Korix narrowed his eyes at me, but I ignored him, kissing Leski.
If we did end up using my plan and I surrendered to the Ancients... well. I didn't want to leave things, whether how I felt about them or any regrets I might have, unspoken between me and my partners. I also didn't want to think about that or my failure to save so many people who should have been under my protection.
“And so, my wonderful partners, we have several hours until sundown,” I said. “How shall we spend them?”
Seemingly abandoning his suspicion of what I’d just said, Korix fiercely grinned at me.
“With you,” he said.
Leski just jumped me.
# Chapter 93: Hope Given and Taken
I was busy with Korix and Leski when a message flashed into my array. Given the circumstances, I almost ignored it, but since it had arrived at the highest priority, I left off with what I’d been doing so I could scan its contents.
*You know the vehicle I wanted you to look at today?* it read. *Since you're so busy, I started without you, and while I was examining it, I found something, Zae. Something that can kill an Ancient! Meet me at The Library as soon as you can.*
Pheniks.
Jerking upright, I sat stock-still while Leski made unhappy noises on the floor, and as I read the message once more, something that I was afraid to name planted a seed in me.
A way to kill the Ancients. A way to fight back. I might see next year after all.
“What is it?” Korix asked.
Glancing at him, I had a hard time with answering his question. If I acknowledged this new feeling inside, how badly could it hurt me on the off chance that something went wrong? In the end, I forced the words out anyway.
“Phen found something,” I said.
On the tail end of that, Feena burst into the room with a hand over her eyes.
“We need to go!” she shouted.
“Yeah, I know. I read it too,” I said. “Give me a minute. Where are my-?”
Clothes landed in my lap, courtesy of a smirking Korix, and I stuck my tongue out at him. Now that I’d acknowledged hope, I couldn’t spend any more time on reveling in it. I had to push all emotion aside, venturing into the shallow end of mission mode, so I could more quickly reach the conclusion of this new possibility.
“What did your brother find?” Korix asked me.
“He says-”
I paused to shove my arm through a sleeve.
“He says it’s something that’ll kill Ancients,” I said.
Korix had been on his feet before I’d finished speaking.
“Zae,” he said, “that could change-”
“Everything, I know,” I said. “We need to see him now.”
Grumbling under her breath, Leski scrambled on all fours to gather her clothes. Thank all that might be holy, she seemed to see the urgency of our situation as well.
“I suppose that’s a good reason to leave me frustrated,” she sourly said.
With a grimace, I said, “Sorry. I’ll make it up to- What are you doing?”
Somehow already clothed, Leski strode to my sister while looking over her shoulder.
“Going with you, of course,” she said. “Feena, dear, we’re decent.”
“Thank Mother Time for that,” Feena said, lowering her hand. “I already have the drones prepping a skycruiser, so we can leave as soon as you’re ready.”
Clicking my tongue, I tried not to sputter.
“Wait a minute!” I said. “Leski, you can’t-”
With a snarl fixed in place, she hissed, “If you tell me to be a good, little hostage and wait for you to return, I will do my damnedest to break through your array’s security processes so I can *mess with it.* I’m coming with you.”
Remembering her work in the Cerullis facility—something that I’d thought was impossible—I swallowed. Hell. She’d probably breeze through my processes like they were nothing.
“Ok,” I said.
Perhaps if I limited the importance of where we were going, that would make Leski less suspicious of it. I had yet to tell her about The Library, and I’d rather not break that pattern unless I must, uncertain as I was about what the *shukusenth* would do if she learned that secret.
Unlike with her, I didn’t question Korix’s presence at my side. Not only did he, as House Kolb’s First Stratus, already know everything about The Library, but Talira had tasked him with watching me. He wouldn’t let me run across the city without him.
“If we’re quite finished?” Feena said.
With nothing else, she joined Leski in leading the way to the hangar while Korix and I trailed behind them.
“Are you sure about bringing her?” he quietly asked. “If any of the *shukusenth* decide she’s too untrustworthy, they may have you erase her memory of visiting The Library or worst case, kill her.”
He’d echoed my worries to a T, but of course he had. The only reason I had them was because of his training.
“I’ll deal with that if it becomes an issue,” I said. “Let’s focus on one problem at a time, yes?”
“So long as you’re aware.”
After we'd reached a skycruiser, the trip to Rane’s bar passed in tense silence, and when we arrived, the mood in the bar shifted. This place’s regulars had come to expect my visits here, but this time, I had the *Lokke Vitras* following me, and that was an anomaly. As we strode to the back, all motion in the bar ceased while calculating eyes watched us, and I inwardly cringed at the impression I must have made on so many Kolb members. They *would* talk about this.
Despite the attention being paid to us, I brushed a table near the back when we passed it, a ritual that I’d developed over the last few weeks. If Pheniks was right, maybe I could get vengeance for Fyester. I was hesitant to call killing the Ancients justice but vengeance? That might be nice to have.
Rane’s absence from the bar was slightly out of the norm. Over the last few weeks, she’d often expressed how much she disliked The Library’s beacon, meaning she usually spent most of her time out front, but at some point, she had to restock or otherwise handle the management side of the bar. Given that, she was probably in her office.
Since Korix, Feena, and I knew where we were going, our steps were sure and quick, but Leski took her time, going wide-eyes when we passed through the holographic wall. After a bolted door opened with a thunk, she gasped while her eyes shone with glee. How I missed the time when mundane things like this had seemed wondrous to me.
As we crowded into the chamber beyond, I frowned at a lump, lying on the floor, but when I recognized it as Rane, sprawled against a wall, I rushed forward. She’d been in here? She hated this room. What had happened? Was this a simple case of fatigue catching up with an overworked woman or…?
Shaking my head to calm my thoughts, I pressed my fingers to Rane’s neck, ignoring my companions’ shadows on the wall above us. Within a breath, her artery pulsed against my finger, and I released a held breath.
“She’s alive,” I said. “What do you think happened?”
When I turned to them, Korix already had a Puppeteer lifted into view while Leski and Feena were staring at it with revulsion.
“I’ll scan her array and figure it out,” he said. “You go. If this is Cerullis or the Ancients…”
Then, I didn’t have much time.
Nodding, I said, “Leski, you stay with him.”
I wasn’t taking her anywhere near something so potentially perilous, not until she’d completed the training needed to deal with it, but she looked like she meant to argue with me.
“You can’t leave-”
Taking her arm, I pulled her to Korix’s side.
“Stay with Ko,” I said. “Please.”
I didn’t know if she’d heard the desperation in my voice or not, but she hesitantly nodded, and I joined Feena, already waiting by the beacon. We touched its ring, and once my disorientation had passed, I glanced over this pocket at the bottom of Lake Voxmore.
Everything looked the same as always, although the line where dry land met the lake bed looked more shimmery than normal, and I slowly relaxed. Perhaps Korix and I had been overreacting to Rane’s collapse.
When I scanned the rest of this enclosure, I spied something moving at the base of the building that enclosed The Library, and after enhancing my vision, I grinned. Near the hatch into The Library, Pheniks was hopping in place, excitedly waving his hands over his head.
“If he’s acting this enthusiastic, he must have found something really interesting,” I said. “Anyway, we should-”
“Uh… Zae?”
Feena pointed to the side of a constantly changing building, and there, I found an earlier noted shimmer increasing in intensity.
And I remembered a report that I’d read weeks ago, one that had described the Ancients’ affinity for manipulating membranes and electricity. I remembered that these two substances were all that made up a barrier. I remembered how when watching a report on the recent disaster, the barrier that had surrounded Zan’s research station had inexplicably faded.
I remembered how the only thing separating us from the crushing weight of water on all sides was one of those precarious things.
Snapping my head down, I screamed, “Phen, run!”
My brother stopped jumping in place, cocking his head, and the barrier at the far end of this pocket failed. Starting near its apex, a shimmering spot—hundreds of meters wide—crackled open, and through this breach, water pounded down on what those from the stars had built, making its constant transformation stutter.
I didn’t care about that, though. With my heart stalling in my chest, I watched as a stone column broke off to land near where my brother had been standing with a sheet of water following it.
“Phen!” I cried.
I had to… *I had to help!*
When I moved toward a crumbling building, ignoring the wall of water rushing toward me, someone seized my wrist. My palm was slapped onto metal.
And I was back in the beacon chamber.
As an ashen-faced Feena apparated at my side, our companions glanced at us.
“Rane’s fine-” Korix started.
I didn’t care. Snatching myself free of my sister’s hold, I started screaming… *something*—
“I have to go back!” a far-distant part of me realized.
—and slapped my hand on the beacon’s ring.
But nothing happened. Of course it didn’t.
“I’m sorry,” Feena softly said, reaching for me. “Please-”
“NO!” I roared. “No, no, no, no!”
I slammed my hands on the ring, applying greater force every time, but with its counterpart destroyed, this beacon could do nothing. Absolutely nothing. Just like me.
Shouting, I spun in place, tangling my hands in my hair, and when I reached a wall, I banged my head on it, trying to erase burgeoning knowledge. It, however, wouldn’t be denied.
Pheniks… My little brother…
Mother Time, I’d thought I could protect him from anything—bullies, his poor choices, even me—but I could do nothing against…
“What happened?” Korix asked behind me.
“The Ancients. It has to have been.”
Damn, Feena had sounded dazed. Hollow. She’d saved my life but…
Hell. She’d had to choose between her brothers.
*“They* destroyed the barrier around The Library,” she continued.
In the resulting pause, I could swear that silence had gained physical weight, crushing me into the stone.
Eventually, Korix said, “The Library is gone?”
“Yes,” Feena whispered.
And with everything inside of me, I silently screamed denial of this fact.
“Ah. Did Pheniks-?”
A sob answered that question before it could be finished.
“I’m…”
Korix puffed out a breath.
“He was a good man.”
Was.
That choice of words echoed in my head, even as I giggled at how clinically detached Korix had sounded. He’d always been awful when it came to comforting with words alone.
“We’ll never know how to kill the enemy now,” Feena faintly said.
I should explode on her for that—*I didn’t need another fucking problem right now*—but her hysterical laughter mixed with my giggling and I—
“How will I tell our parents?” she gasped.
—I realized that my hope was gone too.
Like a switch, the terrible, sweeping pendulum of my emotions halted, and I lifted my forehead off of the wall. Behind me, the others talked in halting sentences, meant to soothe, but I was focused on one thing.
The Ancients had killed my brother. I might not have a way to make *them* pay, but I could keep everyone else I loved safe from *them.*
Fishing through a pocket, I found a metal disk lying at the bottom of it, haphazardly stored there with other tools this morning, and on returning my hands to my head, I rubbed them over my scalp, eventually hanging them off of my neck. When I pressed a disk to the base of my skull, I glanced through my newly provided processes, and after finding the place where I’d added Korix as an exception days ago, I erased the addition. Hell, he’d kill me for this, or he would if…
Well. If.
Facing the chamber, I looked over these people, the ones I’d do anything for, and initiated camouflage, letting a buzz bury under my skin. As expected, Korix knew near instantaneously what I’d done. From where he was awkwardly patting Feena’s back, he stiffened, whirling toward me.
“Zae, don’t you dare!” he shouted.
I wished I could tell him how sorry I was and how much I loved him. I wished I could tell Leski how badly I wanted more time with her. I wished I could tell Feena that I didn’t blame her for stopping my misguided attempt to save Pheniks.
I couldn’t say a word, though. If I did, Korix would know where I was. He’d stop me before I left this chamber.
And I had somewhere to be.
The supply closet and its attached bar hardly made a mark on my senses, but then again, I was moving too quickly for them to register. Behind me, people cursed, and someone I loved called my name from a few steps distant.
Once I was on the walkway outside, losing Korix was easy, even with him on my heel from the start. After I’d done that, I still left my camouflage disk in place, despite the discomfort that it imparted. Korix would no doubt use the recorders between here and my destination to try pinpointing me, something that I couldn’t let him do, and since he knew where I was headed, I’d have to take a route that would defy his expectations.
Even with these challenges, I… wasn’t intimidated by the task. Huh. When had having Korix as an opponent become trivial to me?
As I reached a shuttle stop, I let that question rattle like ice cubes in my frozen being until a vehicle approached. Its doors opened, and I slipped, invisible, onto it.
# Chapter 94: I Told You I Knew What to Do
As soon as I’d stepped into House Cerullis’ headquarters, I removed my camouflage disk, working my jaw once it was gone. Damn, I did not like the way that felt.
Around me, people had recoiled, wide-eyed, from the person who’d appeared in their midst, and I cheerily waved at them before resting my hands on my hips. This place’s lobby matched its upper floors’ theme, sporting various displays of the wonders that our planet held, and there were many of them, enough to make the floor of this cavernous space feel crowded.
But what held my fascination were the objects floating between the paths of the lifts overhead. I didn’t know how they were made, whether with projections or solid representations, but I did know what they were meant to model.
Planets. Specifically, the ones that circled our sun, all save ours. Its sisters, if you would.
I’d always had a peculiar preoccupation with space, as seen by my fascination with stories about the first *Lokke Vitras* and her Favored. After all, they were the only texts that had had anything outer space-related written in them for… I didn’t know how long, actually. So, this gorgeous model of our solar system—something I was a little surprised to see—took my breath away.
It was almost enough to push Pheniks’ death to the side.
“Can I help you?”
With my gaze tugged away from beauty, my loss once more hit me like a blow to the face. At the same time, I met a diminutive man’s eyes, and considering how he flinched away from me, he must have perceived my pain.
“I’m here to see Alezand,” I said. “We had an appointment planned for last week, but I’m sure he’ll want to keep it regardless. Tell him I’m here about Jastin’s elevation.”
Normally, my behavior would only make this House Cerullis member scoff at me. I didn’t know if my expression encouraged him to follow my instructions or if it was the coldness of mission mode, seeping from me, but he played at the air like he was writing a message, and after a delay, he licked his lips.
“Please, head to the top floor,” he said. “My *shukusen* will be waiting for you.”
No escort? Did Alezand know that his security measures were as nothing to me, or was he gambling that I’d come in good faith?
“My thanks,” I said.
Brushing past the man, I entered a lift, and while rising through the tower, I requested and dissipated my rifle several times, checking that my array’s functions hadn’t been blocked. I might have come here to surrender, but if I didn’t get the terms I wanted, I was leaving, whether that called for a fight or not. If it came to that, I’d need all of my resources at my disposal.
I was doing my very best to keep from thinking too hard about my purpose here today.
Alezand’s office was little changed from its appearance at night, but without the risk of discovery placing pressure on me, I could actually enjoy it on this visit. He didn’t have many windows overlooking the city, so little natural light filtered inside, and Cerullis’ most precious discoveries were scattered about the room in displays. The centerpiece of the room, however, was a relaxed sitting area. It was the place that Korix had found so disturbing when we’d infiltrated the tower a few weeks ago, and Alezand was waiting there.
So was First Stratus Jayla. Almost, the sight of her stalled my stride. What was she doing here? Before I could consider thoughts of betrayal or coercion, though, a message slid into my array.
*I’m playing my part,* it read. *You play yours.*
But she didn’t know why I was visiting. I’d have to devise a reason for her to leave before I…
Before.
*“Lokke Vitras* to come. I wasn’t expecting you,” Alezand said. “Please, take a seat.”
He gestured to the sofa opposite him, and no matter that my body felt like wood, I perched where he’d indicated. Lifting a prepared mug off of the table, I sniffed it before sipping a flavorful blend of tea, one that was familiar in nature.
“From Ostiu?” I asked.
“I heard that you like their tea,” Alezand said.
Ah. That made sense. With a sigh, I rested my mug on the table before angling my body toward Jayla.
“First Stratus, please forgive my rudeness,” I said. “I didn’t mean to ignore you.”
“Please. I took no offense.”
Jayla took a sample from her own mug before grimacing.
“It seems I don’t have as refined of a tongue as you,” she said, “but my apologies. You’re here to speak with my *shukusen.”*
“Yes,” I drawled, “with him and him alone.”
I leveled a pointed stare at Alezand, but the bastard only grinned at me.
“Should I not prepare my heir for conversations like this?” he asked. “You two are likely to work together at some point in the future, after all.”
Mother Time. Why was he acting like everything was business as usual? I was sitting here, barely restraining an urge to *scratch his eyes out,* and he…
Taking a calming breath, I said, “How much of what we’ll discuss does your First Stratus know?”
Alezand’s smile sharpened.
“Enough,” he said.
That was one attempt defeated, and perhaps Jayla knew what I was doing because she’d tightened on herself. I had to ignore the frown she directed my way.
Slowly, Alezand leaned back, tenting his fingers in front of his face.
“Tell me, esteemed one. Why are you here?” he said. “Is this about the tragedy that occurred earlier today? Because I don’t know how Cerullis can help the poor people who’ve survived it.”
Poor people from Zan, Cerullis’ rival House. Poor people who’d barely escaped an uncontrolled tumble into the sea. Poor people who if they’d shared their colleagues’ fate, would have drowned among the debris, on the off-chance that the fall hadn’t killed them.
“Do you think I’m stupid, or are you intentionally trying to piss me off?” I asked, somehow keeping my voice pleasant. “After what happened in your Southern Fells facility, I already knew that you were involved in something unwise, but now, I know about your collusion with the Ancients. I know that your people destroyed that research station’s supports after they disrupted its barrier. I know that you plan to do the same thing in Xygek sometime soon, just like I know that the Ancients destroyed The Library about an hour ago. My brother was in there, Alezand.”
Thank Mother Time for mission mode; otherwise, I’d probably be shouting at this asshole, no matter how pinched his eyes had become. The similar expression on Jayla’s face, however, had me grateful that I’d refrained from displaying my anger.
“I… I’m sorry to hear that,” Alezand said. “No matter that Second Stratus Pheniks was my rival as a House Zan member, he was your brother, and… I am *so sorry.”*
“Your apology means nothing to me,” I said, “and I didn’t come to speak with you either. I want to talk to the Ancient that’s made your House its puppet.”
As he rocked back in his seat, Alezand worked his mouth, and I leaned forward to take another sip of tea. Once I was done, I met the *shukusen’s* eyes from my lowered position.
“Do you still think your First Stratus should be here?” I asked.
Alezand darted his gaze to Jayla, who’d gone stiff as a corpse, before making shooing motions at her.
\[*She stays.*\]
The steam rising above our tea shifted and condensed into a hollow shape, one with something shimmering along its inside, and in its midst, a spear of lightning sparked to life, growing and diminishing with the steam’s shape. This was an Ancient? *It* was… so small. And damn, I could break *it* apart with a wave of my hand.
Before I could try, *it* twisted and jerked in a spastic pattern until *it* was hovering along the ceiling, all done in an eyeblink. Fast. That had been faster than me when I was using House Kolb speed.
As I gulped, I was grateful that the shadows along the ceiling were partially hiding the Ancient. It made the being slightly less intimidating.
\[*Well?*\]
Across from me, Alezand and Jayla winced while the First Stratus rubbed her forehead. Conversely, the new pulse throbbing in my head was only strong enough to make my eye twinge along with it.
“My *evushk* told me what you want,” I said. “I’m here to negotiate the terms of my surrender.”
As if ruffled, the shadows briefly flurried into motion before subsiding.
\[*Why would we want you? We’ve already gotten everything that we need from your people’s protectors, the ones you represent.*\]
Gritting my teeth, I retrieved my tea mug, breathing in its soothing vapors. I knew the Ancients were beyond emotions, but I couldn’t help taunting *it* anyway.
“Don’t play dumb,” I said. “You know who I am. You know that removing me from the board would be a blow to Lutov, one that you could exploit. You also know that I stole one of your most useful tools from you, although I’m confused about why emotionless beings like you would want something petty like revenge. Perhaps you need it to reassert your strength over the other Ancients. Do your people jockey for power like ours do?”
Opposite me, Alezand shot forward.
“Stop being difficult,” he hissed. *“It* adjusts how *it* treats you based on your level of defiance, and trust me. You don’t want-”
\[*Be silent.*\]
Grunting, Alezand shut his mouth, tottering in place so badly that Jayla had to steady him.
\[*We won’t deign to explain our society to a solid weakling like you, but you are right. Having you under our control would be… beneficial. What do you want from us so that we may gain this?*\]
Oo, the pressure in my head would make it pop.
“Not planning to force it?” I said. “Or have you already tried that?”
It was more likely that the Ancient wanted to hear my terms before invading my head, giving *itself* more time to weigh *its* options, but I’d never find out if this was true. *It* refused to answer me.
“Fine, then,” I said before raising my voice. “For one day, I want you to delay the plans that you *and Cerullis* have for Lutov, a day here being twenty-four hours.”
Always best to be as specific as possible when making a deal with hostile forces.
\[*Acceptable. Such a small thing will change nothing. Anything else?*\]
Did I dare risk it? I didn’t know if another demand would ruin my work to this point.
Oh, what was I thinking? I’d come here specifically because of this demand.
“Only one thing,” I said. “One of your people killed Second Stratus Pheniks. I loved my brilliant, little brother, and he’s dead now because of *you bastards.”*
Oo, I’d raised my volume too much there. Hell. If grief broke through mission mode, it would ruin my presented persona. Taking a deep breath, I let it out slowly.
“I don’t want that to happen again,” I said. “So, if you get what you want, you leave the people I love alone. You don’t breed in them or whatever the fuck else you want Lutov for. They stay safe and alive. All of them. And before you go ‘ignoring’ this term because you don’t understand love, I’ve sent a detailed list of my loved ones to Alezand. If he wants to atone for his hand in Pheniks’ death, he’ll distribute that list throughout Cerullis’ ranks at the slightest lack of compliance on your part, letting them know that you’ve broken one of your agreements. That might make them more wary of dealing with you, don't you think?”
I’d made the list while on the way here, and when Alezand received it, his eyebrows soared before he shot an incredulous look at me.
\[*Obedient one, recite the list for us.*\]
Making a face, Alezand rattled off the names of each of my family members and every partner I’d had in my life, whether I was seeing them now or not. I hadn’t thought I could risk adding more people.
For a while, I’d toyed with the idea of tricking the Ancient by adding everyone in Lutov to my list, but I’d figured my opponent would check what I was asking for, and I couldn’t count on Alezand to lie for me.
I probably should have included Jayla in that list too, but in the short time between seeing her and this moment, I hadn’t thought about that possibility, which had been slow on my part. I hoped she wouldn’t pay for my mistake.
A long silence followed the last name that Alezand spoke, and while I waited, I finished off my tea. What else was I supposed to do? Either the Ancient would reject my terms, and I’d go from there, or… *it* wouldn’t.
\[*Before we make a decision, we would like to know. Is it possible for you solid beings to love so many people?*\]
When Alezand frowned in response, my hopes started crumbling. Everything I’d worked for in this meeting would fail because this man had a shriveled heart. Then, Jayla cleared her throat.
“If I may, perhaps the emotion that we call love has been misrepresented to you,” she said. “It has many flavors, from what we give to the people that we partner with or to those we call family or friend, but love, in whatever form it takes, is the most powerful of feelings, pushing humans to incredible lengths at times. You only need look at him and what he’s willing to sacrifice for his loved ones to see that this is true.”
She waved at me before continuing.
“As with all things that grant someone strength, each human has a different capacity for how much they can love. Some people don’t have it in them to love a single person while others… others are like him.”
Nodding my way, she smiled, and I did my best to appear pleased by what she’d said. Mission mode was making it difficult to tell how I really felt about it.
\[*…Why are you solid beings so unreasonable? In the end, it doesn’t matter, though. We have our answer, and now, you will have yours.*\]
The Ancient’s indistinct form floated through the air, stopping so close to my nose that I had trouble with focusing on *it.* The lightning inside of *it* had assumed a faint, golden color while the glisten that coated *its* misty body had thinned.
\[*Your terms accepted, rejected Favored. A pact formed between—*\]
Again, with the garbled noise. Maybe it was *their* true name.
\[*—and you, upon your surrender.*\]
Oh, goody. My plan had worked. Might I please request my rifle and blow my brains out for my brilliant idiocy now?
“How do I do that?” I asked with my voice choked. “The surrendering bit, I mean.”
\[*You LET. US. IN.*\]
With a pained grunt, I almost toppled off of the sofa, making the Ancient jerk away from my pitch forward. Clutching at the edge of my seat, I sorted through my mased thoughts—one screeching knowledge of worse that was yet to come and another crooning triumph—but in this mess, I found what I remembered surrendering to be. It was almost like diving into a thoughtless state but also… not.
Bracing, I breathed out self—snarky behavior, fierce devotion to everything I held dear, desperate need for freedom—and when I sucked air back into my lungs, the Ancient came with it.
# Chapter 95: Rooting Through My Past
DO YOU SEE, BRETHREN? WE ARE ALWAYS VICTORIOUS!
---
*Pheniks, Feena, and I chase one another across the Azuwell Plains with our giggles and shouts ringing in a quiet serenity. My sister is starting another round of lesson rotations tomorrow, so our parents have set us loose on the world, letting us wander as far from home as we want.*
*As usual, my brother has fallen behind, and after exchanging a glance, Feena and I slow down, spinning so that we’re trotting backward. We make faces and stick our tongues out at him, and growling, Pheniks pumps his short legs faster.*
*Predictably, when he catches up, he leaps to tackle me while Feena laughs. With an exaggerated ‘oof’, I tumble as dramatically as I can, pleading for Pheniks to let me go once we’ve hit the ground.*
*“No!” he pipes up. “MY big brother, Zae. You stay! No leaving like mean Feena.”*
*“Hey!” Feena shouts before grimacing. “Actually… you know what? He’s right.”*
*She drops into the grass beside us, and throwing my arms around Pheniks, I bury my nose in the top of his head.*
*“Not going anywhere, Phen,” I say. “I’ll keep you safe.”*
He was gone! He was gone! He was gone! He was-!
\[*So much pain here. How did you resist us?*\]
What…?
A blast of white-hot heat tore me through time again.
*Easing the window open, I wait for a moment, listening for unexpected sounds. When nothing drifts to me, I swing into the house, rolling to spread my impact on the floor. Rocking to my feet, I lower the arms that I have spread, happy with my near-perfect entrance, and behind me, someone slowly claps.*
*Spinning, I have a knife brandished before I can find who’s watching me. Dad grins at me with his teeth glinting, but no matter how pleased he appears, he still holds a hand out for my weapon. With an exasperated sigh, I trudge to him, slapping the knife in place.*
*“Where did you sneak off to this time?” dad asks. “We don’t have any bars near the estate.”*
*I cringe at the reminder of how I came home in the small hours of the morning, extremely drunk, the last time we were in Xygek. I’m usually better at hiding it when I’m in that state.*
*“That was one time,” I hiss, “and if you must know, I’m practicing. I have an exam on stealth work during my next Kolb rotation.”*
*I don’t, actually, but he doesn’t need to know the real reason I’m scurrying around the house this late.*
*Dad examines me for so long that I’m worried he’s seen through my lie, but then, he cocks his head.*
*“Want some pointers?” he asks.*
Why had he pushed me away? What was so wrong with me that my own father would-?
But he hadn’t, had he?
What was going on? I let the Ancient in and then…
There was a gap in my memory, which wasn’t terrifying *at all.*
Was the Ancient reenacting my worst moments by using my memories of the people involved in them? But… why would *it* do that? Did *it* need a greater hold-?
As if flexing a muscle, what had clamped my head in an iron grip squeezed, and a deep, internal ache jarred me away from the present.
*I’m bored. Really fucking bored. Brenson, today’s House Drav instructor, is droning on about the process of maturing a zygote into a blastocyst in laboratory conditions, and I barely contain a yawn.*
*I don’t find the subject matter uninteresting, but when one has already studied it to the point of deep memory integration, listening to it explained as if we unHoused have never heard of artificial pregnancies is tedious. It doesn’t help that Brenson has the. most. dry way of explaining concepts*
*“Zaeden!” said instructor snaps. “If you find my lecture so dull, why don’t you explain the process for me?”*
*“Of course, Fifth Stratus.”*
*Internally sighing, I get to my feet and prepare to ‘stumble’ through the requested explanation.*
Why… why would the Ancient replay that memory? It couldn’t invoke anything in me, just a… a…
Why was I having such a hard time with think-?
My brain wailed, protesting what I’d done to it.
*For the hundredth time, ink splotches on the page, ruining my last two lines of work, and growling, I toss my pen across the room with my shoulders heaving.*
*I don’t understand the point of this. Why do I need to learn anything more than the basics of handwriting when I have my array?*
*“Frustration,* kuvesk? *You should know better by now.”*
*Jerking my head toward the door, I fight to ignore how my insides have shriveled at the sight of my* evushk. *He isn’t supposed to be home yet!*
*Striding across the room,* evushk *retrieves my pen before returning it to me.*
*“Sit,” he says.*
*I sit.*
*“Show me what you’ve been doing,” he says.*
*I slowly and carefully form letters until* evushk *leans on the desk over me.*
*“You need to be more fluid,” he says. “Pretend it’s a painting, one that you’re forming with words.”*
*Gently resting his hand around mine,* evushk *guides my pen across the page for a line before releasing me.*
*“Do you see?” he asks.*
*I see that my mouth is dry, and with my heart fluttering, I badly want to twist in place so I can kiss him, but I can’t do that. Instead, I give the expected answer.*
*“Yes,* evushk.”
And that was a happy memory, if a little bitter around the edges. What the hell was the Ancient doing?
Wait. Was *it-?*
Without warning, I gained awareness of my body, even if it was merely factual knowledge in nature. I noticed how its every muscle was strained with occasional twitches washing over them, and air was rushing against an over-abused throat. For the briefest of moments, I tasted the reason I was having this horrible of a reaction and immediately ran from it, retreating to the safest place I knew.
*Gasping, I race after* evushk *with the angry shouts of our targets rising too close behind us. Atop the hill ahead, our exfil is waiting with its doors already sprung open, and on reaching it, I dive into the skycruiser while* evushk *pauses outside. Six zinging energy bolts means six targets dead, and he springs into his seat before the vehicle shoots into the air, even with his door still open.*
*An explosion threatens to pop my eardrums, setting the skycruiser shaking, and through its window, I watch flames gout into the air below us. As the cacophony dies,* evushk *gets his door closed before collapsing, and both of us catch our breath.*
*This is my fault. I should have planned for more time between when we planted the bomb and when we left, planned for the possibility that someone would stumble upon us, but I didn’t. How do I acknowledge my mistakes and apologize without using the forbidden words ‘I’m sorry’?*
*I can’t sit here, deliberating. Getting my apology wrong will be better than letting* evushk *speak first.*
*I turn his way, only to find him watching me with something I’ve never seen before in his eyes. Wha-?*
*Snatching my shirt,* evushk *drags me halfway over the divider between us, and without ceremony, he presses his lips to mine, frantically holding my head in place. His tongue plays along the line of my mouth, and my thoughts stutter to a stop on a single question.*
*Holy shit. Does he feel the same way?*
Fucking hell, I was right. The Ancient was rifling through my memories, probably looking for something that *it* could use. Why else would *it* allow the recollection of something like-?
\[*Why are you being so difficult? You’re as bad as the Favored. How is your body’s reaction to danger unable to touch you? You solid beings usually respond beautifully to pain.*\]
I was laughing. I didn’t know if it was in my head or outside of it, but it was there: mirth pushing its way through the blockade of what was slowing my thoughts down.
Did the Ancient not understand the role of the *Lokke Vitras?* By working with the first of us so long ago, *its* people had created us, in a way. If *it* wanted to manipulate me via pain, *it* would have to crank up the notch a hundred-
*It* obliged.
*Bodies lie at my feet, and I can’t deny them. The two mothers and an uncle. The boys. The girl.*
*I can’t tear my eyes off of them while my hands shake. Hands that killed this family.*
“You didn’t fail me,” *Korix says.*
*Numb, I lie on my bed, gathering the energy to rise from it. Details from my last mission keep obliterating my attempts, and only a sense of cold, deep inside of me, is stopping me from spiraling.*
*Absently, I look through my messages, and my fingers are set trembling when I find one from Feena waiting for me. Almost violently, I swipe it to center field, devouring her words with greedy eyes.*
“The Ancients don’t understand emotions, especially not love,” *Korix says.*
*My off-key droning competes with Kyllen in volume, and I rock in place with my favorite song by him serving as a lifeline.*
*Korix. Where’s Korix? I need him, need to- to talk this awfulness out!*
“In fact, love repels the Ancients,” *Korix says.* “Remember, Zae. Use it.”
No, no, no! Fuck no! The Ancient couldn’t see these- couldn’t-
What if *it* found a memory from after I’d rescued Korix? Those were the ones *it* didn’t have, and most of them involved our feeble attempts to counter *its* people. *It* might glean something useful from them. How did I stop *it* from-?
I was blasted from existence.
*Jayla grants me incredulity and resolve when she shakes her head.*
*“I’ll tell you everything about the oppressor in our midst,” she says.*
*She can’t give me much, but I’m still glad that Korix and I stopped her earlier. She and everyone else who disagrees with Alezand’s handling of the Ancients will be allies in the enemy’s midst, an early warning sign for when chaos is about to begin.*
\[*There it is.*\]
Oh… no.
# Chapter 96: Hey Buddy, Get the Hell Out
The Ancient left me, steam and electricity billowing out of a scorched-through body. I was on the ground, uncomfortably sprawled beneath an overturned table, but I couldn’t relieve the discomfort of my position. In fact, I couldn’t move at all, save for the shivers rumbling through me.
A wavering whine scraped over my gnashed tongue with saliva or maybe blood dripping out of my mouth, but I couldn’t stop the noise. An echo of what the Ancient had done to me loudly reverberated in my body, and a piercing shriek filled my head at what was still to come.
Why had the Ancient left me before *it* had finished what *it* had started?
I could barely see around the table’s edge to the man who was watching me with bulging eyes. Alezand had recoiled from me, which I found strange. Why would my enemy find my torture horrifying? Jayla, on the other hand…
Jayla!
Staring at her, I waited for her to meet my eyes, all while fighting for control of my voice.
“R-r-ru-r-”
Fuck, I couldn’t get it out. Please Mother Time, say that she understood anyway.
\[*You have a traitor in your midst, obedient one. Several, actually, but the one who leads them is sitting in this room with you.*\]
With a gasp, Alezand jerked toward Jayla, who met his accusing gaze with calm. Why wasn’t she running?
“You’d trust that thing over me?” Jayla asked. “Please, *shukusen.* I know you’ve had to follow its crazy schemes over the years, but you’d believe this? I wouldn’t betray my House.”
“I-”
Hell, Alezand looked conflicted, which was strange to see on a *shukusen.* They were usually self-assured. After all, the Strata system only produced the most qualified person from each House to lead, but to be fair, this one had been under inordinate pressure for years.
\[*Your belief in us doesn’t matter. We have told you that the one beside you is a traitor. If you wish to avoid our displeasure, the proper response is to eliminate the presented threat.*\]
“WHAT?”
Shooting to her feet, Jayla glanced between the Ancient and her *shukusen.*
“You- you wouldn’t,” she said. “Murder? That’s… You wouldn’t, Alezand. It’s wrong.”
But he would. I knew the set of those shoulders and the clench of that jaw. I’d seen it too many times to count. Alezand might be battling with his conscience, but he’d made his decision, and desperate, I tried once more to manipulate my own fucking body.
“R-run, Jay-J-!”
I couldn’t get anything else out, but my wheezing cry was enough to get her moving. She sprinted toward the table, and Alezand bolted after her, reaching into a pocket. They disappeared from view, and with my heart in my throat, I listened to their shouts and scuffling.
They fought for a while, two people whose training during Kolb rotations had long since faded. Eventually, though, the blast of an energy bolt filled the room with someone’s body unceremoniously flopping to the floor afterward, and a gurgle signaled a fatal wound that would nonetheless take ages to kill.
And all the while, the Ancient hovered over me, motionless.
When Alezand trudged back into view, tossing a pistol to the side, my sips of air became ragged gasps. Something far worse than what I’d already endured had come to clean me out.
“I trust that you’re satisfied,” the bastard panted.
\[*Exceedingly. You may leave us.*\]
Hanging his head, Alezand chuckled under his breath. What had he expected? Praise for what he’d done?
“And the plan for the rest of the day?” he asked. “Are we delaying, as promised, or shall we continue?”
\[*We honor our pacts, obedient one. You will wait exactly twenty-four hours from now before commencing the cascade. Now, leave us. We have our own work to complete.*\]
Wincing, Alezand rubbed his temples.
“Of course.”
He refused to look at me when he passed, which was just as well. I was sure he could feelwhat I was pouring at him anyway.
When the door behind the sofa slid shut, only Jayla’s struggling wheezes filled the silence, and I squeezed my eyes closed.
“I’m so-rry.”
What else could I say? How did one comfort someone who was dying, in part, because of them?
“When you see- Fy, tell him-”
But I couldn’t finish that thought, not when it would mean using her as a messenger. Hopefully, if she could hear me, she’d understand what I’d meant. She’d see Fyester soon.
Oh, Mother Time. I’d gotten them both killed.
\[*That’s quite enough.*\]
Smoke streamed toward me, pushing into my nose and mouth, and I swore I’d choke on it, but that fear was forgotten as lightning joined the flow. It caressed my body and-
The next thing I knew, the Ancient had disappeared, and I was screaming my throat raw. Frantically, I turned off pain receptors throughout my body, but what was blasting through me just flipped them back on again. I was left scrambling for something, anything, to help cope with this because otherwise, I would deconstruct, brick by brick, until I was empty, and I…
With a jerk, I pulled away from the void that was calling to me. I couldn’t go blank like that, couldn’t lose control. I wouldn’t surrender.
Never let it be said that the people in my family weren’t stubborn. Even knowing where my circumstances would inevitably lead, I’d fight it because that was what I did. I would hiss and kick and spit, a demon unleashed, even as a blade bit into my heart.
So, I reached for the only ones who could keep me aloft on this sea of torment: my sister, Korix, Leski. All the people who were my home.
\[*Home…*\]
*The Source is broken. Its slow turn has been unraveling for centuries, and yet, the majority refuses to see why. The solid beings with their poisons have upset its delicate balance, and if we don’t act soon, we will die out with each of us gradually reducing to wisp and spark. Who knows if we can reform from that state?*
AND WHAT DOES THE ONE SUGGEST THAT THE MANY DO?
*We need a new way to live. If we approach the solid beings, invoking our long-held agreement, maybe they’ll help us.*
YOU WOULD TRUST THEM TO KEEP THEIR END OF THEIR SO-CALLED ANCIENTS PACT?
*Trust a volatile, solid being? Never.*
*But no harm can come from trying, and if they refuse, well. We have ideas for how we can make them comply.*
What had that been? It had had the flavor of the Ancient’s voice throughout it. Had I formed a link with mine like Korix had with his, one that would let *its* thoughts and memories flow to me?
I had no energy for true speculation, not with pressure building in my throat. A need to cough was competing with my thready scream, and in the same way, something tickled the back of my pain-soaked mind, a remembered fact that was beating against my nerves.
Mother Time, they were igniting so fiercely. I was at the bottom of my sea of torment, breathing and bathing in its waves, but even still, I held on because I could see it. Help was diving for me, twirling and flashing around everything that tried to stop it. It had something to do with Korix, the first of my new family.
\[*Family…*\]
*For two weeks, one of our derivative has been trapped in the Favored, waiting for us to commence the plan. Soon, we can make our move, now that only a few days are left until the chief threats relax their scrutiny. We constantly send the trapped one these thoughts so that all know the timeline.*
*So, when something changes, we divert all attention to the one of our derivative.*
*In the base of the chief threats’ tower, the Favored becomes available to us in an agonizingly slow manner, not that the rate of our returned control matters. Soon, we’ll have—*
*As something unknown rips through us, we stutter with the flash of it sweeping through us all, even those of us in the Source, and wisps of us tear away, dissolving as they drift free. The electricity-that-is-us is nearly sapped of energy, and for a moment, the Source stops spinning. But then, we’re restored, and the trapped one is still contained but not in the Favored.*
*Not in the Favored.*
*The solid beings have discovered a way to remove us? And it’s one that- that-*
*We haven’t flickered like that in millennia, not since the time of not-us. Not since those alien being ceased so many of us near the Source. After sending the invaders back where they belonged, we thought we’d never experience it again, but if the solid beings can dim us…*
*We receive confirmation from the majority in the Source. Our plans to make the solid beings ours have jumped in priority.*
Laughter greeted me when I returned to a glittering world. It flashed in and out of focus, but I didn’t care. I had something useful that I could do with what flagging remnants of life I had left, but first, I had to wrest my body’s strings free of the Ancient’s control.
As if *it* knew my thoughts, *it* ramped up *its* torture, crisping my brain so that its outer layer burned in my skull, and snarling, I reached for the fact that I’d remembered, something that might help me.
\[*What is WRONG with you?*\]
My manic giggling was making my body shudder almost as much as the agony that was wracking it because the Ancient didn’t understand. You see, yes. This was horrible, something I’d typically run from with all haste, but I’d been here before, in one form or another. Given enough time, this constant spasm would break me, shattering me into dust, but a few minutes spent here wouldn’t do it.
So, *it* poured hurt on me, and while most of me was occupied with fighting *its* attack off, a small part combed through my memories searching for something Korix had said.
What had it been? Something that I’d remembered earlier, pushing it aside before I’d recognized its significance. Something about resisting the enemy. Something-
*“Love repels the Ancients.”*
As Korix’s voice echoed through me, I sighed, relaxing inside even if my body couldn’t. That was right. All I needed to do was remember what it felt like when I was with the people I loved. This would be easy.
I thought of Korix treating my injuries after a mission.
\[*What are you doing?*\]
I thought of Ace trotting to me when I came home.
\[*Ugh. What- what IS that?*\]
I thought of Pheniks and Feena, rushing to help me when I needed them.
\[*Stop. We- STOP!*\]
I thought of the rapture on Korix’s face when I moved my body just right.
\[*We can’t- No!*\]
I thought of the five of us together and the possibility of adding Leski to our family. I thought of how much I wanted to be with them, even if I’d also do what was needed to keep them safe.
And the Ancient fell silent with *its* hand removed from me.
Until my trembling subsided, I lay on the floor, just breathing, but when I could move, I hauled myself to my feet, stumbling toward the door. I paused beside Jayla, flinching at the sight of her empty eyes.
“I’m sorry, both to you and Fyester,” I said. “I should have kept you safe.”
Because something was nibbling at the edge of my control, however, I put my back to her with a picture of my family firmly planted in my heart and mind. When I reached the lift, I shakily input a floor destination, hoping that I’d chosen the right one. If I was following through with the crazy plan I’d concocted, I’d need to reach the most well-guarded lab in this place.
# Chapter 97: So, This Hurts
As I descended through House Cerullis’ headquarter, I set about dismantling as much of its security as I could. I had no doubt that Korix had gone straight to Talira after losing me, and once she learned I had a handle on the Ancient in me, she’d be sure to send Kolb’s high Strata in here.
Speaking of which, I should send her a message.
*It’s mine. For now. Send me everything you have on the removal of my* evushk’s *Ancient.*
As if to prove my point on my tenuous control, something inside of me made a leap for control
\[*You pact breaking—*\]
I swatted *it* down with memories of my grandmother. Her crying over me when Korix had made me his replacement. Her doing everything she could to make my training easier.
The Ancient ran away from the warmth in my heart, but *it* didn’t go far. *It* paced at the boundary of my control, watching for an opening.
When I stepped out of the lift, I leaned against a wall, fighting to get my breathing back under control. Mother Time help me if I had to fight because it would, without a doubt, not be much of one.
Despite how much easier my camouflage disk would have made this walk through enemy territory, I didn’t retrieve it from its pocket. I couldn’t give the Ancient an advantage, and the disk’s buzz over my skin would definitely be one of those. So, after several steadying breaths, I pushed off of the wall and made my way into Cerullis’ most secret lab.
I looked out of place here, having dressed for a day spent researching, once my meeting with Talira had concluded. My white jeans and formal, black jacket drew many an eye, not that I could blame them.
What could I say? When nothing constrained me, I dressed to attract.
At the moment, though, it was a bit inconvenient. I met every stare with the person I became while in mission mode, and as usual, my observers shuddered before returning to what they’d been doing, intent on pretending I didn’t exist. Thank Mother Time for humanity’s innate desire to stay out of trouble.
Maintaining this image, however, was more taxing than normal right now. Projecting intimidation? Pretending that I’d cast emotions away from me? These were at odds with what I must hold in my heart.
It also didn’t help that most of what I passed, Pheniks would have found fascinating beyond belief. I loved… had loved my brother, but the thought of him was a chink in the armor that I’d raised around my mind, and oh, how the Ancient worried at it.
The worst of this came when I stepped into a large, domed chamber with storecases scattered around its edge. A few paces from the wall, an ankle-high railing made a ring, serving as a guard against the half-sphere that had been dug into the floor. A staircase led into the bottom of this hollow, where controls of some sort lay, but the crown jewel of the chamber hung above this.
A depiction of a star—our sun, if my array was correct—rotated in the middle of the chamber. Orange and yellow fire roiled below the surface of a sphere while whips of flame rose from it in arcs and tendrils.
I looked upon one of the most powerful sources of energy in the universe, enough to bring life to a planet, and it was spectacular. For who knew how long, all I could do was stand before this representation. When compared to the wonder of how chance and science had merged to create this, I was floored by my insignificance.
So, when a tiny spot on the star jittered, I frowned. Was the depiction’s equipment glitching?
As I watched, though, more pieces of the star’s surface shimmered until all at once, the sun stopped rotating. A warping sheen, much like a reflection in a patch of disturbed water, coated it, and shivering in place, the star jumped in size by the tiniest of fractions before jolting into a spin again.
While the jittery segment faded, I gaped at an image of the sun, returned to normal. What had that been? Was Cerullis running projections for a planned experiment’s outcome?
No, that couldn’t be it. Lutov didn’t do space travel anymore.
We *did* occasionally send satellites to orbit our planet, though. Considering that, was this an actual representation of our sun, and if it was, I was returned to my original question. What the fuck had that been?
Damn, a puzzle like this would have enchanted Pheniks. He’d have been hopping about this place, running down the stairs to inspect the depiction’s controls before pouring over the reports in the chamber’s storecases. He’d have been babbling up a stream, one that I'd have barely understood, and I’d have watched it all, pretending to be exasperated but secretly pleased.
\[*But his solid body failed.*\]
Grunting, I stumbled toward the chamber’s perimeter, blindly reaching for support. I found it right as my legs gave out, leaving me clinging to what I was holding.
I couldn’t focus on Pheniks’ loss. I had to remember every time my little brother had realized that he’d said something insensitive and how red his face had gotten while stuttering his apology. Or every time he’d indulged me with a session of combat training, even though he’d hated it. Or every time he’d stopped by my room to ask a question about a girl, all of which I found easily answerable.
I wouldn’t let the Ancient use him to defeat me.
“Another distortion…?”
A woman scurried into the chamber, stopping short when she noticed me.
“Who-? What are you doing here?”
Dragging myself upright, I faced the House Cerullis member storming toward me.
“I haven’t seen you here before. Name and Stratus, if you please,” she snapped. “And what are you wearing? It’s not at all appropriate for a lab.”
“I’m… not usually in one,” I said.
Oh, hell. I had to get this panting under control before she noticed it.
“First Stratus Jayla sent me to retrieve something from aviation. I got a little lost.”
Rubbing the back of my neck, I ducked my head, pointedly refusing to consider how I was using a dead woman to get what I wanted.
“I see,” the House Cerullis member said. “You’re one of her Third Stratus assistants, then?”
Keeping my eyes on the floor, I nodded, and the woman irritably sighed.
“You stopped too soon,” she said. “Aviation’s two doors down, on the right.”
I said nothing more, delaying in the hopes that my damn legs would start working before I was forced out of here.
“Well?” the woman soon snapped. “How long will you keep our First Stratus waiting?”
“Yes, of course,” I said. “Thank you for your help.”
I couldn’t say how I remained upright while staggered out of that chamber, but as I continued down the corridor outside, I had to trail my fingers along a wall. I was pretty sure I’d topple without its steadying surface to help.
When I reached it, aviation was less crowded than I’d expected. A handful of people were bustling about the place, working on shuttles and transports, but the number found here didn’t match with the size of the cavernous space they filled. Knowing that aviation took up half of this floor, I’d thought it would be big, but this… it could easily fit several copies of my parents’ estate inside of it.
While its size was interesting, I was more occupied by the aircraft inside of it. These transports and shuttles looked the same as any other, although the people working on them were focused on their underside rather than visible parts. Perhaps whatever changes they were making to those vehicles could be found there.
When I saw the skycruisers, though, my heart leapt in my chest while my lips parted. Cerullis had taken those sleek aircraft and added weapons to them. So many different guns were bristling from them, mostly on the front, and I didn’t know how useful having them on a skycruiser would be, considering its limitations, but *I wanted one.* Now.
Unfortunately, they wouldn’t serve my purpose. I needed something fast and maneuverable, much like a P.I.G. Something with the reserves to get me halfway across the planet while also sporting protection against extreme environments. With how much focus Cerullis had given to the atmosphere in recent years, they should have what I needed around here somewhere.
On shaky legs, I wobbled around aviation, keeping my eyes peeled for anything that would fit my requirements, and thankfully, finding it didn’t take long. I slumped against a rack full of shiny people, if said people had been flattened and hung from hooks. Each of these suits had a large reserve and a pack strapped to its back as well as a P.I.G.’s spiderweb flowing over it, but besides that, it was a viscous sleeve with no openings in its material. How the hell did I put one on?
Pulling a—hopefully—atmospheric suit free of the rack, I held it in front of me, flipping it back and forth, before cautiously touching a glowing circle under its chin. Whatever the suit was made of, it was gelatinous in nature, resisting my finger’s pressure even as it gave, and it was cold, an intense enough sensation that I retracted my hand with a hiss. When I forced myself to once more touch the liquid metal, I pushed on the circle, and the front of the suit split open, separating until it stopped at mid-shin and the wrists.
So, I just what? Stepped into it?
“Hey! Why are you just standing there?”
A man was jogging my way, waving overhead, and on spying him, I clicked my tongue. I’d noticed people beginning to file out of the room, but I’d hoped to have left this place before anyone noticed me.
“Didn’t you get the alert?” the man asked. “We’re supposed to assemble in the park. Apparently, someone’s been…”
Swallowing hard, he shuddered.
“Someone’s been killed,” he continued more quietly.
Jayla. I pushed images of her dead face out of my mind.
When I didn’t react to the mention of death like he had, the man gave me an odd look.
“What are you doing?” he asked. “We don’t need to take atmospheric readings anymore, remember?”
“Is that so?” I sighed.
Stepping into one floppy boot, I cocked my head as the material conformed around my foot, hardening as it did. I could move, but that movement was limited, and when I bent to knock on what was covering me, my knuckles rang on something solid.
Thank all that might be holy, the material’s chill sensation stayed on its exterior surface. Instead, a pleasant warmth embraced my foot.
“Huh,” I said.
“Mother Time, it was you!” the man gasped. “You’re the murderer!”
Glancing up at him, I displayed what I hoped was a feral grin. To me, it felt anguished.
“Yes,” I said.
As if waiting for my admission of guilt, alarms started blaring in aviation with its lights flashing—Talira must have deployed the high Strata—and the man from House Cerullis retreated a step.
Rising to my full height, I growled, “Better run along now.”
And he did so because who wouldn’t? I was a terror, only deserving other people’s fear.
I shoved my other foot into the suit, following it with a hand into a glove.
How many people had died because of me?
What a stupid question. I had the answer sitting in my array, but as I brought it up, I paused.
I couldn’t do this. Self-flagellation and disgust? They couldn’t be indulged in when-
\[*Ah, but you’ve already let us in, pact-breaker. Such formidable defenses to be cracked by such a large breach. What a pity. Now, let us show you what we do to the people who have broken their promises to us.*\]
Desperately, I reached for the suit’s hood, flinging it over my head, while bringing to mind those I loved. Talira, Korix, Ace, Feena…
It wasn’t enough. The Ancient poured boiling acid over me, and I melted beneath it.
# Chapter 98: This Is Why We Make Friends
“Zaeden! I need you come back, *kuvesk.”*
Hurt is the world is the world is the world is my-
“Fight it off. You can do it.”
No relief some relief have to think have to… Mother Time, it HURTS!
Someone. Help.
I’m breaking.
“I KNOW THEY’RE COMING, FEENA!”
Something there. Something besides hurt.
I—what is I?—think I know what that mish-mashed noise meant. I can almost pick apart its words.
“Please, Zae.”
Oh, good. He made it simple for me this time.
He? Who’s he?
“Hurry back to me.”
Someone I… love. Such a good word. I *love* him. Even if I don’t know who-
Yes, I do. Korix. My Korix.
As something… *evil* howled in defeat, I blinked at a blurry world, one that was inundated by sound. Muffled shouting rose from somewhere distant interrupted by an alarm and a crashing noise.
And above me, ragged sobs twisted my heart while moisture pattered on my face.
“You can’t leave me like this. I’m not strong like you. If the Ancient burns you out of your body, I can’t… *Please…”*
My eyes focused at the rate of my muscles’ relaxation, and the fuzzy shape that was Korix gained clarity. Holy shit. Was he crying?
“Ko,” I breathed.
Despite how quietly I’d spoken, my throat couldn’t take any more, not until my body finished healing its ravaged state. Weak coughs flopped my head around in Korix’s lap until he clutched me to him—Mother Time, his touch was cold—and rained kisses on my face.
Feebly, I pushed against him.
“Ko.”
And again, when he didn’t respond.
“Ko!”
My coughing fit rolled me away from him this time, and I struggled to lift myself onto my elbows.
Meeting his eyes, I said in sub-vocals, “I can’t love you too, and I’m grateful that you dragged me back, but I don’t know how long I can keep the Ancient suppressed. We need to go.”
Nodding, Korix wiped his face clean, and when he lowered his hands, I could find no trace of the weepy man who’d pulled me out of a submersion into oblivion.
“You have a plan?” he asked.
With a weak grin, I said, “Of course I do.”
Behind Korix, Feena trotted into view.
“We barricaded the door as best we could,” she said, “but- Zae!”
She dropped to her knees at my side, hovering her hands beside my face for a moment before slapping my shoulder.
“Don’t you dare go running off like that again,” she snapped, shoving a finger in my face. “Finding you like that… you *scared me to death.”*
Grimacing, I mouthed, ‘Sorry.’
Feena frowned.
“Throat not healed?” she asked.
“There was extensive damage done, yeah,” I said in sub-vocals.
Wincing, Feena scrambled to her feet, resting her hands on her hips.
“Well, you didn’t come to this random-ass part of Cerullis’ headquarters for no reason,” she said. “I assume there’s a plan.”
“Yes,” I rasped.
And I didn’t cough up a lung. Fabulous.
Nodding, Feena glanced over her shoulder.
“Leski, get over here,” she shouted.
Wait.
“You brought an *unHoused* with you?” I hissed.
Predictably, I paid the price for my outburst.
“She didn’t give us a choice,” Korix said over my coughing.
The discussed woman skipped into view, and when she saw me, her face lit up.
“Zae! I told these two you’d be fine,” she said.
“You give me too much credit,” I said.
At my words, chipper Leski vanished with someone hollow replacing her, and she ran haunted eyes over me.
“Don’t’ remind me,” she said.
She was using false cheer to cope. Smart. For the short term anyway.
“Ok,” I said. “I won’t.”
I tried to smirk. I wasn’t sure how well it worked, but Leski’s face brightened again, and clasping her hands together, she bounced on the balls of her feet.
“So, what are we doing next?” she asked. “Do we need to wear fancy atmospheric suits like you?”
“If you don’t want to be left behind, yes,” I said.
Turning to face Feena, Leski narrowed her eyes.
“Told you,” she said.
Shaking her head, Feena said, “You only said that we needed to put them on before we barricaded the door, and considering how enthusiastically those Cerullis bastards are banging on it right now, I’d say I made the right call by ignoring you.”
“And that barricade could fail at any moment,” Korix said. “So, how about you two get a move on?”
He was still kneeling beside me, and while the others rushed to figure out how the suits worked, I noted that he’d already donned one, which explained why he’d been so cold earlier. Its hood, however, was flung back, and I had to wonder. Was mine still on, or had it fallen off during… everything?
Moving closer, Korix said, “Status, *kuvesk?”*
He wanted to keep my physical state a secret? I could oblige.
“Well, I can’t stand by myself,” I said. “So, there’s that.”
Without a word, Korix spun into a crouch, flinging my arm over his shoulders. Pulling me upright, he got me to a wall before the others could take notice, and with my back to it, I could stay on my feet.
“What else?” Korix asked. “Is the Ancient…?”
“Still in my head, yes,” I said. “I’m stretching for memories that will ward *it* off now, although some always seem to work. There’s one of a mission where our investigative target was conspiring on the balcony below us while we…”
Korix’s cheeks turned a faint pink, and he let his eyes drift toward my forehead while I smiled.
“And now, there’s this one,” I said.
Jerking his gaze down, Korix frowned before shaking his head.
“You’re feeling well enough to tease me, so I’m not too concerned about whether you’ll recover, although…”
Pausing, he checked whether Leski and Feena were still occupied.
“This plan of yours,” he said, “will you survive it?”
How could he ask me such a distressing question right now? He had to know how difficult fighting the Ancient off was, even without complications like that.
“Maybe,” I said. “It will depend on what happens while on the way.”
“On the way where?”
Leski bounced toward us with Feena behind her.
“To the Source,” I said. “Are you two ready?”
In front of me, Korix stiffened, and something like panic invaded him before he could quash it. He knew about the Source?
“We are,” Feena said. “What’s a source?”
*“The* Source,” I corrected. “It’s the Ancients’ home.”
All of them stared at me as the pounding on the barricaded door grew louder, now with the distinctive sound of energy bolts added to it.
“You want to invade the enemy’s stronghold?” Feena squeaked.
Wincing, I said, “Something like that. Look. Let’s escape from the House Cerullis members who are clamoring for our heads. We can discuss everything else once we’re clear.”
I had absolutely no intention of discussing anything, but I needed to get them away from danger. I’d do what I must to accomplish that goal.
“Agreed,” Leski said.
She cast a nervous glance at the door.
“How do we finish putting these suits on?”
“Um…” I helpfully answered.
Fumbling for my suit’s hood, I drew it over my head, but it only flopped uselessly in front of my face. Biting my lip, I tapped my fingers on my leg until Korix gently touched my neck. Where the glowing circle was lying.
My suit’s hood drew together with a slurp, cutting me off from the world, and in the dark, claustrophobia placed a finger at the base of my spine. When processes popped into view, however, they stopped that sensation’s insidious advance, and after initiating a few, I was looking through the hood’s material like I would when projecting through a wall.
I also had a P.I.G.’s typical spheres under my palms. Using them, I briefly boosted into the air, but as my feet hit the ground, I maintained my propulsors’ lift. I might otherwise fall.
“All a go,” I said.
Rolling their eyes, the others followed my example and just in time too. An energy bolt burst through the door, blackening a shuttle’s side, and while my companions finished getting ready, I tried requesting my rifle.
When it settled into my hand despite the metal between it and me, I breathed a sigh of relief. As I’d been donning the suit earlier, I hadn’t set aside any weapons, so if this hadn’t worked, I’d have been essentially unarmed. That didn’t seem wise when heading into the enemy’s heart, and given our situation, I wouldn’t have time to open my suit before House Cerullis members stormed into this room.
With everyone’s preparations nearly complete, I opened aviation’s hangar door, relaxing when Xygek and a wide, blue sky greeted me.
*Ready?* I sent to the others.
After receiving their acknowledgments, I launched into the free air, marveling at the atmospheric suit’s speed, and left House Cerullis’ headquarters behind.
# Chapter 99: How We Soar 1
Once we were a good distance from headquarters, I requested direct connections between my companions and myself, never slowing in my flight, and after they’d been accepted, I didn’t let anyone else speak.
“I’m going to the Source,” I said. “Whether you come with me is your decision, although I don’t encourage it. You can, however, say nothing to sway me from this, so save your words for something helpful.”
I knew they wouldn’t do as I’d asked, especially not Feena. She’d always been too stubborn, so I wasn’t surprised when she protested.
“Storming the enemy’s stronghold isn’t good tactics, Zae,” she said. “We should try something else first.”
She, however, didn’t know how thoroughly the last few years had taught me to stick with my convictions.
“I know what I’m doing,” I said.
And nothing more. They didn’t need to know anything else, and I couldn’t hurt them by sharing more of my plan.
“Do you know where it is?” Leski asked. “Maybe if we gave the location to other House Kolb members-”
“They won’t be able to help,” I said. “Where I’m going, you need something like these suits, something that only House Cerullis has developed, to survive. I’m assuming Talira didn’t send any high Strata with you when you left her?”
They were silent for a moment, which was concerning.
“She doesn’t know that we hit Cerullis’ headquarters,” Korix said, “or rather, she didn’t before we went it. She probably does now.”
Which meant she didn’t know about what I’d done either.
“Mother fucking Time.”
I cut the connection with the group before requesting one with my grandmother. I needed the information that I’d asked from her, and if she was withholding it because my sister and partners hadn’t consulted with her before charging in-
\[*Hello again.*\]
My projected view of the world went fuzzy, and my twitching fingers dropped my elevation before I could correct, letting my irrational fear of heights make an abrupt reappearance. I couldn’t focus on it or on how *high above the ground* I was.
“Find a distraction, moron.”
Such as: Why did the Ancient keep doing this? Why not take me over when *it* gained a toehold? That was what a rational being would do.
Unless my continued success with burying *it* was a sign that *it* didn’t have the strength that *it* needed. Perhaps *its* brethren wanted to see something beyond failure from *it.* Perhaps that was why *it* was delaying. In our situation, the easiest way for *it* to show strength would be to burn my neural pathways out as slowly as possible.
Or maybe *it* had contracted the disease of emotions, although how that was possible-
\[*Your speculations are pointless.*\]
Oh. Oh, no. Not again. Not-
“You better have a excellent reason for the shitshow I’m dealing… Zae-zae? What’s wrong?”
Hearing Talira’s voice was enough for me to gain control again, and my whine cut off with a cough.
“Thank you,” I gasped.
I couldn’t elaborate more on what had just happened, though.
*“Shukusen,* I need the reports that I requested, please. Now,” I said. “I’m on my way to handle our problem.”
“And how do you plan on doing that?” Talira asks.
“I can’t tell you. Thinking about it could push me over,” I said. “You’ll have to trust me.”
Mother Time, I wished I had visuals during moments of quiet like this. I couldn’t read Talira without them.
“You have one of those asshole Ancients in your head, don’t you?” she asked. “I thought that was what your message meant, but I didn’t want to believe it.”
“Sorry to disappoint,” I said.
“What happened to giving your idiot *evushk* and me time?” Talira snapped.
I couldn’t get angry with her, couldn’t think about two hundred and forty-six lives lost because of her delay, couldn’t remember The Library.
“Circumstances changed,” I said.
*“What* circumstances?”
Did she not know about Pheniks?
“You know what? It doesn’t matter,” Talira said. “Come home, and we’ll get the Ancient out of your head. Maybe this’ll be a good thing. Having another one of *them* captured might buy us more time-”
“No,” I said. “I have a way to end this disaster, not just prolong it, and I’m going to follow through with my plan. If you want to give me a better chance a surviving, you’ll send me the information that I requested before I’m out of range, but I’m not turning around.”
She started arguing with me, but I cut the connection before she could get much out. Cutting a connection with a *shukusen.* Ha! That had felt much better than I’d thought it would.
When I re-established the one with my companions, a cacophony of shouting voices greeted me, and I winced while pain speared through my eyes. Just what I’d needed.
“Everyone, hush!” I growled. “You’re making this so much more difficult than it needs to be. You can’t imagine. I’m grateful that you came to save me, but I need you to decide *right fucking now* if you’re coming with me or not. I can’t… no more arguing.”
After a beat of silence, Feena said, “Shit. We really can’t change your mind.”
“No, you can’t,” I snapped.
A long sigh rattled to me.
“Fine,” Feena said. “We should wait for-”
“No more waiting!” I shouted.
What was this hysterical note in my voice?
“I’m done with waiting! I have a plan that will work, and I’m taking it.”
They went dead silent with my ragged breathing filling the quiet for a moment.
*“Kuvesk,”* Korix said, “a private word, please?”
Without me having to do anything, Leski and Feena dropped from the connection, and I flipped to face the glinting shape that was my *evushk.*
“What happened?” he asked. “I know you. Physical pain doesn’t cause this cracking that I’m seeing in you.”
“You mean what else besides my brother dying?” I snarled.
He said nothing to that, and I sighed, wishing I could rub my forehead.
“During the negotiations with the Ancient, First Stratus Jayla was killed,” I said. “It was my fault.”
“Ah,” Korix said.
“Yeah.”
Drifting toward me, Korix extended his open palm, and with a broken sob, I laid my hand on it, fighting to keep my trajectory stable. I felt nothing through the suit’s metal, but the same sense of comfort that he’d always imbued in me seeped into my core anyway.
“Shall we bring Leski and your sister back in?” Korix asked after a moment.
“Probably a good idea.”
Once we four were connected again, though, I didn’t know what to say. I should probably apologize for yelling, but I didn’t know how to do it, not on top of my confession to Korix about Jayla. In aviation, guilt had let the Ancient pull me under its control. I didn’t want that to happen again. Still, I had to try.
“I-”
“Don’t,” Feena said. “We already know what you’ll say, and I shouldn’t have been pushing you, not when you’re so stressed. Leave it there.”
I… could accept that.
“Ok.”
“Now, where are we headed?” Leski asked.
“Somewhere near Ibis,” I said.
I didn’t have further details yet, merely a lure that was pulling me through my link with the Ancient.
“Ibis?” Leski said. “That’s halfway across the world. Why aren’t we using a beacon?”
Sometimes, I forgot that she was unHoused.
“Do you want to go through a Travel Center, looking like we do right now?” I asked. “How about getting stuck in the Terminal because House Cerullis puts a block on us? Sounds fun, right?”
“Super fun,” Leski said. “So, we’re flying there? That’ll take, what? Several hours?”
“Depends on how fast these atmospheric suits are, but something like that, yes,” Korix said.
“Great!” Leski chirped. “We should tell stories to pass the time. I’d love to learn more about you three.”
We, however, were quiet with each of us contemplating the horror of letting another person learn our secrets, even the most mundane of them. This was what House Kolb did to its members. They became paranoid, close-mouthed, twitchy assholes, and I didn’t want that for myself. Plus, if I told stories about the ones I loved, it would keep the Ancient buried.
“I have one about Ace,” I said. “I know you love my dog, Leski.”
“This is true,” she said in the most solemn of tones.
“Well, when he was a puppy, Ace wasn’t nearly as well trained as he is now,” I said, “and he’s cleverer than any dog has a right to be. He’d regularly escape from the house to explore the moors-”
“You mean that you lost track of him, and he did as any dog is naturally inclined to do,” Korix interrupted.
“Yes… that,” I said, glaring at him. “In any case, Ace got lost once, and I was having the hardest time with finding him. Because Ko wouldn’t help me look-”
“Ace is your dog,” Korix said. “You’re supposed to take care of him.”
*“Because Ko wouldn’t help,”* I said over him, “I had to continue searching through the-”
“Entertaining as this story already is and would probably continue to be, we should put it on hold,” Feena said. “Contacts up ahead, probably hostile.”
Of *course* there were. Nothing in my life could ever be easy. It didn't surprise me that this part, so close to a possible end, might end up causing problems too.
# Chapter 100: How We Soar 2
Feena was right. Below us, *way to fucking far* below us, the Preserve soon gave way to a beach and the sea while islands dotted its cerulean waters further out, and above this, five blotches were peppered across the sky, swaying in place. My array couldn’t make out their details yet, but I knew what they’d be.
“Definitely hostiles,” I said. “Probably those modified skycruisers that I saw in Cerullis’ aviation hangar. You saw them too, yes?”
“Mm,” Leski said. “How did they reach the coastline before us?”
“They didn’t. These were likely deployed from a satellite facility. The other Houses do so love setting those up wherever they can,” Feena said. “So? What’s the play? We could go around them.”
“No,” I said with my tone bordering on harsh.
When Feena rotated toward me, I winced.
“No,” I repeated, gentler this time. “We don’t have time to skirt them, and I can’t-”
I wasn’t sure if I could make the trip to Ibis before the Ancient subsumed me again.
“Ok. Fight it is,” Feena said.
She requested her rifle, cocking her head at our foe.
“How do we get through them?”
“Whatever we do, Zae can’t be part of the fight,” Korix said.
“Why not?” I said. “Yes, the emotions associated with fighting would leave an enormous hole in my defenses against the Ancient, one that *it* could exploit, but I’ll have to fight at some point today. Unless you think we can get near the Source without a confrontation when our enemy knows we’re coming.”
“So, save your effort for that struggle,” Korix said. “Don’t waste it on something that we can handle without you.”
*“I* can.”
Frowning, I glanced at where Feena was gleaming in the sunlight.
“I can handle this alone,” she clarified. “Once we’re close, I’ll draw their fire, and you three can swoop under them and get clear. I’ll keep them pinned down."
“Feena…” I growled.
Before I could continue, Leski said, “You can’t fight five by yourself. Let me or Ko help you.”
Ko? She was using his nickname now? When had that happened?
“You can’t,” I said. “Kolb doesn’t teach the unHoused how to fight in the air. You’d be more of a hindrance than help here.”
Given that, I wasn’t sure how Leski would help us at the Source, but I couldn’t have her, someone who moved and thought only on a horizontal plane, engaging in this clash. Better to delay that for as long as possible.
“And you’ll need the *Lokke Vitras* with you when you reach the Source,” Feena said. “I can handle five scientists who have no clue how to fight.”
I didn’t like this idea, but much as I wanted to deny my sister, I knew she was doing this, whether I approved of it or not. I focused on how her act of love warmed me rather than on the terror of whether she’d survive. I couldn’t lose both of my siblings in one day!
“Don’t worry, little brother,” Feena said, as if reading my thoughts. “I don’t die here.”
“You can’t know that,” I said.
“Oh, but I can,” Feena said with a laugh in her voice.
“Wha-?”
“Zaeden! Pay attention to your surroundings,” Korix said.
His mild rebuke, so reminiscent of the thousands that I’d received during my training, had me smiling despite our situation, but that quickly vanished when I saw how close we’d come to those skycruisers’ guns.
And my ability to change the plan was ripped away from me.
Korix, Feena, and I opened fire on the aircrafts with Leski quickly following our example. Our bolts fizzled out before they got anywhere near the enemy, but they scrambled regardless. A flurry of light raced for us, which I should thank these House Cerullis members for. Their spectacle let my array calculate the distance that I needed to fly before I could make a perfect drop.
As we reached that point, I shouted, “Now!”
That cue had been mostly for Leski’s benefit, but still, it helped with our coordination. Despite how much my fear screamed for me to do otherwise, I pointed my head toward the waves and let gravity do its work, leveling off a few meters above the water’s surface. The sea sprayed my suit when I put its propulsors into full thrust, and flipping to my back, I jerked to the side as a bolt impacted a wave, turning it to mist.
Feena had engaged four of them, leaving a single opponent chasing us, but we could handle those odds. From the delighted laughter filling our connection, one of us might even be enjoying the challenge.
“Leski,” I said, “keep coms open, please.”
“Right. Sor-!”
She yelped as an energy bolt almost vaporized her.
While we were still within view of it, I watched my sister’s battle. She was beautiful, a flashing speck amidst vehicles several times larger than her. Weaving and dodging and twirling, she was like an angry wasp. I hoped that she invoked the same enmity in her opponents as those insects usually did in humans.
“Good luck, Feena,” I said as she merged with the sky.
“And to you,” she absently said.
I cut the connection with her, having already been too much of a distraction.
Not long afterward, the skycruiser that had been intent on chasing us turned tail, whether due to its distance from its comrades or its inability to hit us, I couldn’t say.
And suddenly, we three were racing across the world in an unnatural quiet, the one that always followed a time of so much chaos. I didn’t filter adrenaline from my bloodstream, even though it would have made the buzz buried under my skin more bearable. It was helping with my internal battle.
With my heart skipping beats, I gained altitude. I didn’t know if Korix or Leski followed me, but eventually, one of them broke the silence.
“You went looking for Ace?”
As if the fight had never happened, I resumed my story.
“I searched for him through the night, which put me at seventy-two hours without sleep. Not unmanageable but not fun either,” I said. “So, it was just my luck that a mission came in that morning, one that Korix decided would be perfect as my first to tackle solo.”
Gasping, Leski said, “He didn’t.”
“I did,” Korix said with a chuckle, “although if I’d known exactly how long he’d been without sleep, I’d have told him to get into bed before handling the mission myself.”
“If you’d known how long I’d been without sleep?” I said under my breath. “That’s such bullshit. There was so much monitoring during those first few years…”
And maybe Korix cut in there. Maybe Leski laughed. At that point, it didn’t really matter to me. I was just happy to be with them.
As we crossed the sea, we continued like this, swapping stories to stave off our boredom. We occasionally lapsed into comfortable silence, enjoying one another’s presences, but these didn’t last long, and not once during this time did the Ancient break through my defenses.
This and the ease of our relationships since that night atop a tower made me realize what I had here. The three of us had an undeniable energy, and while I didn’t yet know if I loved Leski, I could see myself inviting her to live with us, given Korix’s consent, of course.
Hell. Why had I figured that out now?
At some point during the trip, I received my requested reports from Talira, along with a message that I couldn’t bring myself to read. Looking over the reports was bad enough. They confirmed what I’d already suspected, which was not what I’d been hoping for.
I finished the last of them as Ibis filled out in front of me, and as soon as I closed the last report, I got a message from Korix. I didn’t know how he’d known what I’d been doing—reading body language was impossible in these suits—but still, he’d done so.
*Will you tell me the plan anytime soon, or will I have to guess it?* it read.
I considered how to reply. If I bullshitted my way through this, Korix might indulge me, but he’d only do that if he thought it would help me. Besides if I lied to him, it would…
I’d hurt him more than I already planned to.
So, I wrote, *Guess it, Ko? Don’t you already know it?*
Waiting for his response, I wondered how he was handling everything. He’d been more unstable than normal since Talira and I had pulled him out of stasis. So, after what I planned to do, what would happen to him? Would I be the final shove needed to push him into the state that he’d feared for years?
I couldn’t destroy the man I loved, and yet, with what I had planned, I probably would.
\[*We don’t understand this attachment that you hold for another one of you. Oh, well. You’re not escaping us again, pact-breaker.*\]
Fuck. *“Fuck!”*
I fell into
Flame Fire Burn Ash Choke Cough Pulsing Ache Warmth Grind Fists Pound Warmth Acid Bile Warmth Scour Warmth Warmth
“We’re with you, Zae. We’re here.”
Ragged gasps rubbed sandpaper along an oozing throat, but I couldn’t stop them. Overexerted muscles trembled with their fibers shredding, but I couldn’t make them fall still. Tears streamed from stinging eyes, but I couldn’t.-
“I can’t…”
I should find how dead I’d sounded concerning. I should worry that *breathing* had become difficult, but I just. didn’t. care.
I’d thought I could do this. I’d thought that saving Lutov would be worth the price I had to pay, but apparently, I’d found my limit because-
“I can’t. No more. Please.”
“Yes, you can, Zae.”
Sunlight, beaming into my eyes, accompanied the sound of her voice, and when I shifted away from the glare, I found myself trapped between two… people? Somehow, Korix and Leski had sandwiched me mid-air, soaring at ridiculous speeds between Ostiu’s mountains.
How had they known which direction to take without me leading the way?
More importantly, how were we aloft? I wasn’t directing my suit’s propulsors, making me dead weight.
Feebly, I craned my neck, finding Leski above me. With her arms hooked under mine, I couldn’t see much of her, merely a suit that had conformed to traditionally feminine features. Which meant Korix was… where?
“Les…” I said, meaning to ask after him.
But I couldn’t get anything else out. She peered over my head.
“He’s back,” she said.
Arms around my waist squeezed me—or tried to—through my suit.
“Can you fly on your own?” Korix said. “Maintaining this position it difficult, but I can manage it for a while longer, if needed.”
He was under me?
Wait. That meant I was lying on him, which meant…
I needed to get the fuck up.
“I-”
Nothing else would emerge from my mouth, so I nodded, and gradually, Korix moved away from me. In a stable float, I hovered for a moment, writing a message while I gathered myself.
*Ko… I can’t do that again.*
My body refused to move until I received my response.
*So don’t,* it read.
“Shall we?” Korix asked.
Hell, how did he always know what to say? I couldn’t dwell on what might happen. I must focus only on the present, and this moment required me to move. So, I did, blazing over the remaining distance to the enemy’s home.
# Chapter 101: Fighting Ancients
Ostiu had fallen behind us a while ago, and with us once more over the sea, we were flying between the arms of Ibis’ crescent. Somewhere over these waters, we’d find the Source.
Unfortunately, I wasn’t sure where it was. The more I’d fought to suppress the Ancient, the more *its* tug on me had gotten muddled, leading first west and then back the way we’d come.
Fortunately, we had one saving grace. Since I’d woken up from the Ancient’s last torture fest, Korix had been on-and-off correcting our course.
I was tempted to tell him that he should stop coddling my feelings. He could take the lead if he wanted, but it was better if I let him have this. If he’d felt the need to take over, he’d have said something by now, and I was too tired to deal with the consequences of bringing it up now.
My last stint with the Ancient had taken something vital from me, something that was steadily replenishing, but for now, I was stuck in my lethargy. Even my thoughts were sluggish in my head.
“Zae?” Leski quietly asked.
Internally sighing, I said, “Yes?”
“Is this…?”
I waited for her to gather the courage to speak, examining a mass of clouds on the horizon with a cocked head. Bad weather? Could these suits withstand a storm, or would we need to circle around it?
“Is that we’ve done today—the running and fighting and… worry—what being a Kolb member is like?” Leski asked.
Once again, the ugly desire to acquire a talented person for Kolb raised its head, but it was predictably followed by revulsion. Not only was my hatred for the Houses as strong as ever, but I also had to contend with my resolution about Leski from weeks ago. So, I answered her question as honestly as I could.
“Sometimes. I’ve never been in a situation as intense as this, but others have been almost as bad,” I said. “Kolb’s purpose is to maintain the peace in Lutov. At times, that means boring stakeouts, watching innocent targets. Others, it involves pitched battles with *iisen* who will use every drop of their magic to try escaping. Always, it involves shielding the innocent, no matter how deeply the effort of doing that might scar the spark of your soul. Always, it means danger, although most Kolb members don’t risk their lives as much as Korix and I do. Does that answer your question?”
She was quiet for a moment, giving me time to push consideration of the clouds to the forefront again. Were they supposed to be moving like that?
“It does,” Leski said. “Thank you.”
“You’re most welcome,” I said. “Ko, are you seeing a strange pattern of movement up ahead?”
“Ancients,” was all he said.
He’d sounded distracted, which was only a little terrifying.
“Their vanguard?” I asked.
“Probably.”
Which meant that the gigantic mass of clouds floating behind those wisps was most likely the Source.
“All right, then.”
Requesting my rifle, I ran my eyes over the smaller clouds. They looked nothing like my Ancient, but when I’d seen *it* in Alezand’s office, *it* had been alone. These looked like typical cumulus clouds, if with a soap bubble sheen, and bits of electricity were sparking in them.
Watching the clouds, I counted… a lot of those flashes. Even my array was struggling at guessing their number, and the sea below them was shadowed, much like it would be during a storm. No rain was falling, though.
The Source itself was too far away to make out more than a ball of fluff, but if I let myself think about its probable size, my heart started unevenly beating.
Hefting my rifle, I winced. I didn’t know what this would do to the Ancients. Probably nothing. But going into a fight with only my reflexes and speed, as I would shortly do, made me want to squirm. I’d take advantage of a crutch like my rifle.
“Strategy?” Korix asked.
“Head straight for the Source,” I said. “Avoid any Ancients that get in our way.”
Hopefully, Leski could handle a dodging chase. Something like that wouldn’t require her to split her focus between avoiding hostiles and shooting at them.
“Simple. I like it,” she said with her voice shaking. “And once we’re there?”
“Let’s worry about that after we get through these bastards,” I said.
Said bastards had almost closed the distance to us, and in their mass, I spotted ripples of motion, much like worms writhing beneath a person’s skin.
“Leski keep the connection clear when possible, but call out if you need something,” I said. “Understood?”
“Understood,” Leski said.
“Ko-”
“I know,” he interrupted.
Good. Leski would have someone watching her back. Mother Time knew that I wouldn’t be able to. I’d have enough trouble with keeping love in my heart while fighting for my life.
“Then, lets go.”
At full thrust, I darted forward, aiming to arch over my enemy, but as I approached it, one of the cumulus clouds exploded into hundreds of streaming strands—the Ancients separating—and as observed in Alezand’s office, *they* were fucking *fast.* Easily keeping up with my speed, *they* angled to intercept me, matching my every change in course.
When I could, I shot at *them,* but as expected, my energy bolts had no effect. Those that connected dissipated on the shiny shell inside *their* wispy exterior, so I threw my rifle aside, and before the first Ancient could hit me, I twisted, rising while I did so. *It* disappeared beneath me, but the one behind *it* impacted my suit.
For a moment, I thought nothing had happened. I thought that we could continue to the Source with the Ancients harmlessly slipping off of our suits, but nothing was ever that easy.
An alert popped into my array, telling me something about the suit’s reserves, but before I could finish scanning it, liquid metal spit down the front of me. I slapped the circle that would seal the suit shut again, but not before ripping wind tore its hood off of my head.
Now, I was far above the world’s surface, which was just *fabulous*, and while my propulsors kept me from plummeting into a deadly fall, the cold that one could only find this high in the atmosphere walloped me, stealing my breath. This was a problem because with how little oxygen was around me, I couldn’t fill my lungs back up.
Heaving at the air, I fumbled for my hood, uncaring of how the Ancients were brushing against my suit and skin. My teeth were chattering by the time I got it back on, and I gulped down air after it had sealed.
*“They* can mess with tech,” I gasped. “Guard your reserves and suit triggers.”
“Like we needed more problems,” Korix said.
Chuckling, I rolled around an Ancient, reversing that movement when another took its place. I didn’t know why *they* hadn’t come at us in a stream instead of leaving us gaps as *they* were, but I thanked Mother Time that *they* hadn’t thought to try it yet. If *they* had, we wouldn’t have stood a chance.
Every time, I darted around an Ancient, I thought about my partners, all the times I’d made Korix smile or put a frustrated look on Leski’s face. It helped, but the enemy inside of me still found moments of weakness to surface in, and the flashes of *its* torment slowed my attempts to avoid *its* brethren. After one such appearance, I was left trembling, barely diving beneath an oncoming Ancient. I didn’t know how long I-
“My reserves are running low,” Leski said, calm and cool.
Korix and I stumbled over one another in our responses.
“How low?”
“Can you reach shore?”
“I think… I can get back,” Leski said. “But-”
“We’re withdrawing,” I said. “Once you’ve broken free, meet here.”
I sent coordinates to my partners before undoing the progress that I’d made through the enemy’s ranks. It wasn’t much, maybe a kilometer at most, and until I found free air, I didn’t consider what our slow progress meant or how impossible our task was.
Surprisingly, the Ancients didn’t chase us. Given *their* speed, *they* could have harassed us for as long as *they’d* wanted, but after a good three minutes of doing that, *they* stopped dead, coalescing into a cloud once more.
With the sun glinting off of their suits, Leski and Korix reached the rendezvous point before me, facing me as I slowed to a stable hover.
“That was fun,” I grumbled.
“I liked it,” Leski said, “and it returned some life to you, for which I’m grateful.”
Rolling my eyes, I said, “Why are you still here? If your reserves are running low, you should find a place to land.”
“But you said-!”
Leski clicked her tongue.
“What if you need my help?”
“Right now, the greatest help you can give me is peace of mind, knowing that you’re safe,” I said. “I’m sure Ko would agree.”
“I do,” he obligingly said.
Fortunately, Leski didn’t argue with us.
“I’ll hurry your backup along, then,” she said.
What backup? While on the way here, I hadn’t requested anything like that from Kolb, and I doubted Talira would have sent the high Strata after us. They couldn’t do much without these suits—least of all catch up with us—and my grandmother wasn’t one to waste resources.
“Don’t die, you two,” Leski continued. “Ok?”
“No promises,” I said.
“Good enough for me.”
Leski took off toward the closest patch of land with Korix and I watching her go.
After a moment, he said, “Didn’t feel like telling her about the emergency reserves in these suits’ backpacks?”
“If she didn’t use her array to check her pack for tech before now, then why should I correct her mistake?” I said. “Besides, what would be the point?”
Korix didn’t have an answer for me.
“Will you send me away as well?” he asked instead.
Turning to him, I said, “Could I?”
He snorted, which made me laugh, and relatively certain that Leski wouldn’t make an unexpected return, we faced our current conundrum.
Examining those wispy clouds, I said, “Do you think *they* have to stay within a certain range of *their* home?”
“Maybe. It would explain why *they’ve* stopped chasing us,” Korix said, “but if that’s the case, how did *they* infest Lutov?”
“Perhaps a select few can separate from the rest.”
It was a weak explanation, but I couldn’t think of another one to explain what was happening right now.
“Mm. It doesn’t matter much, though, does it? Let’s operate under the assumption that *they* can’t get any closer to us than *they* are now,” Korix said. “How does that help us?”
“Circle the perimeter,” I said. “Find a less well-defended breach point.”
Such a plan might be basic, but it should work.
“That’s what I was thinking,” Korix said.
Smiling, I said, “Then, let’s do it.”
Korix gestured toward our enemy.
“After you.”
As we circled a far-distant Source, I half-expected the smaller clouds around it to follow us, keeping an eye on *their* enemy even if we were beyond *their* reach, but *they* didn’t do that, just drifting like clouds normally would. When we found a spot without Ancients guarding it, we moved forward, and with us once more in their territory, I was sure *they’d* swarm us. *They,* however, never moved.
What were *they* thinking? Were we not a danger to *them?* And why was I trying to understand the logic that drove such inhuman beings?
Most importantly, though, could we reach the Source without a fight this time? I didn’t dare speak those words aloud. I’d seen circumstances reverse after a speculation like that too many times to tempt it now.
As we came closer, details about the Source became clearer. It was, as one would expect, a cloud, but it was huge, large enough to engulf Xygek, and yet, no rain fell from it. With that size and the weight behind it, its ice crystals should be returning to water, but there it spun, a distinctly solid sphere with scythes radiating from its base.
Lightning crackled inside of it, but even with that, it wasn’t darkened in color like a thundercloud would be. The setting sun painted pinks and oranges across its billowing surface, and a gauzy water funnel, rising from the sea, cast a rainbow beneath its scythes.
“It’s beautiful,” I murmured.
“Admire the enemy later,” Korix said. “Bypass its scouts first.”
As he’d said, a baby cloud, even smaller than the first one we’d encountered, had come to defend its parent. It dissolved into its resulting horde, and I was returned to a frantic display of acrobatics.
This time, however, *their* typically undulating bodies had turned jittery, soon ending in a frantic halt, and through my link with my Ancient, I flinched from the repelling energy that the Source was exuding. The force of it was strong enough that I wondered whether that massive cloud was trying to push me away, getting its scouts caught up in the energy instead. If that was the plan, did that mean the Source knew my purpose? Did that make it somewhat sentient?
Shaking off the idea, I converged with Korix. He took my hand, and we faced this marvel, the place where the Ancients were born, *their* Source in every sense of the word.
And I was here to destroy it.
# Chapter 102: Arguing Semantics
“Should I do this?” I asked.
Korix would know what I meant, just like he’d known my plan since I’d shared where I was going, and since the Ancients had been weirdly kind enough to stop attacking us for the moment, I needed to speak these thoughts out loud. I needed… I wasn’t sure what I needed, but I couldn’t move forward without it.
“Why wouldn’t you?” he asked.
“Look at that!”
I flung a hand toward the Source.
“It’s quite possibly the most wondrous thing I’ve seen in my life,” I said, “and if I destroy it, I’ll be finishing what our people started with our production facilities in the Eastern Reaches. How has their effect on the atmosphere harmed what we’re looking at? I will kill it, thereby murdering an entire species, Ko. Why would I do something like that? And don’t give me that ‘duty of the *Lokke Vitras’* bullshit. I want a real answer.”
“You want to get into philosophy now?” Korix asked.
“I want to know that this is necessary,” I say. “I don’t want to throw my life away for no reason.”
If my revelation of intent surprised Korix, he didn’t show it.
“What would happen if we went home now? You’d either die at the hand of your Ancient, or we’d pull it out of you, capturing it,” he said. “Either way, Cerullis would continue with their plan. Shukusen Alezand won’t care if we’ve eliminated the immediate threat. He’ll only tell his people to stand down if we give him proof that no Ancients will never return to vex him, and we couldn’t easily remove him from his position. The other Houses wouldn’t allow it, not quickly enough at least. They’d go to war with Kolb to keep it from happening.
“So, *their* plan would likely continue, and yes, it may require an Ancient for total success, but with the firepower that Cerullis has in their possession, its members would still cause a horrible amount of damage. People would still die. The only way to stop Cerullis from enacting their plan is to get the Ancients to leave us alone, and that won’t happen. With *their* ability to reproduce failing, *they’re* desperate.
“I’ve seen this place through the Ancients’ eyes, the way it was millennia ago. It’s why Ibis looks like a crescent in the first place! The landmass’ arms once embraced it. Given all of this, the Source won’t exist within another few centuries.
“And yes, this steady reduction of their home may be Lutov’s fault. Yes, we should make recompense for it, but by becoming incubators for *them?* You’ve experienced what having an Ancient inside your head is like. Can you imagine having one of *their* children grow to maturity in there? That’s what *they* want to impose on our population, and no matter how much we’ve wronged *them,* we don’t deserve so horrible a fate.
“But the Ancients refuse to look at other options, refusing to even discuss it. We’ve made multiple attempts to work through this problem with *them.* You have no idea how many times I tried to reason with *them* while I was under *their* influence, and when we… fought, you made an attempt as well. Every time, we’ve been rebuffed.
“So, why should we do this, Zae? To protect our people from a hostile species that’s intent on enslaving us in the worst way possible. Unless you think that we should just let *them* erase us.”
Hearing the reasoning that I’d requested from Korix, methodical and logical as he always was, I could accept it, no matter how much it tore at me, but despite how much I’d like to focus on that, something else had caught my attention.
“We?” I asked.
“Yes, Zae. We,” Korix said with a huff. “You figured out that hurting one of *them* hurts all of *them,* right? With the links we hold in our minds, we have a viable way of doing that. By removing ourselves from the picture, therefore snuffing those links out, we’ll greatly damage the ones on the other end of *them.* And I’m guessing you also know that the resulting flicker in them becomes more violent when that hurt originates closer to *their* Source. What do you think would happen if the number of them who stutter increases too?”
Keeping my mouth firmly shut, I glared at Korix. I didn’t like the conclusions that he was drawing and certainly wouldn’t validate them. He didn’t seem to care if I did, though.
“Have you seen the war with those from beyond the stars through your link yet?” he asked.
“No,” I grudgingly said, “only mentions of it. Enough to concoct this plan.”
Nodding, Korix said, “To be expected. I didn’t get a glimpse of it until a few years under an Ancient’s influence, but what I saw…
“During the war, one of the last-ditch efforts that those from beyond the stars made for victory was to kill hundreds of the Favored as close to the Source as they could get them. Their loss and the resulting harm to the Ancients almost led to an alien victory. It’s one reason that *they’ve* been so slow to collect on their end of the Ancients Pact.
“Now, I doubt the deaths of two Favored would typically be more than a bee sting to them, but I agree with your reasoning. If we first fly to the exact center of the Source before snuffing our links and the Ancients connected to us, the stutter that it induces should radiate outward in a devastating sweep, our own cascade if you will. It will probably turn this wonder into the most forceful deluge of rain that our world’s ever seen, and like the Ancients, I’m not sure if it or *they* could reform from such a collapse.
“Even if your plan doesn’t work, though, it should leave the Ancients recovering for a long while. That will give our people time to devise an alternate solution, although I doubt they’ll take advantage of the chance we’ll give them. But you shouldn’t listen to my pessimism. Does what I’ve outlined cover your plan?”
He knew me too well, but why shouldn’t he? For a third of my life, he’d been my teacher.
“You’ve summed it up nicely,” I said, “but you haven’t said anything to convince me of *your* plan. Why should more than one of us enter the Source?”
While Korix decided how to reply, I cast a nervous glance at the nearby Ancients. When would the Source realize that its attempts to repulse us weren’t working? Any second now, we could get swarmed, but neither I nor Korix could move, too caught in our argument. It was pathetic, especially when considering who we were.
“You’re planning to kill yourself,” Korix said.
I flinched. Sure, just come right out and say it.
Apparently, my microscopic reaction was enough of an answer for Korix.
“I don’t want to learn what will happen to me after you’ve died,” he said. “I wouldn’t recover from it.”
“And I don’t want to die knowing that you won’t try to live,” I said. “You should be happy again. I know you could be-”
“ZAEDEN.”
I shut my mouth, struck dumb by Korix’s intensity.
“Statistically, the odds of surviving as the *Lokke Vitras,* whether until your *shukusen* retires or you finish training your *kuvesk,* are one in a hundred,” he said. “Ninety-four percent of the time, death unexpectedly comes for you, usually within the first few decades of your service. Over the millennia, only five percent of the *Lokke Vitras* have chosen when they’ll die. We are part of those lucky few. I’m *choosing* this, Zae. Would you deny me that?”
I hated him. I loved Korix, but right now, I wanted to kill him.
“So, you’re ready to join the Collective?” I snarled. “I thought your greatest wish was to stop existing after you die. You don’t want to meet the people you’ve killed, right?”
“That was me hundreds of years ago,” Korix quietly said. “I’m ready to face them now, but only if you’re waiting in the Collective for me.”
As I sucked cold air in, it made my teeth ache. That had to be the most romantic, bittersweet, and *utterly idiotic* thing that Korix had ever said to me.
“I wanted to spend my life with you,” I blurt.
I didn’t know where this was coming from or why I was saying it *now,* when I couldn’t do that over the last few days, but hell if I’d stop talking with the first words already spoken.
“I’d still see other people. That’s never going away, but you would be home. You would be who I turned to with my problems and my joy, and making you happy would always be one of my top priorities,” I said. “I wanted you to… I wanted us to be life partners, Ko.”
Not spouses. I didn’t think either of us wanted or needed our relationship validated by Lutov’s legal system, but I’d wanted to make a commitment. I’d wanted a promise that we’d hold tight to one another, fighting through our relationship’s difficulties, for our lifetimes.
That wouldn’t happen now. I’d do what I must to save Lutov, but I wouldn’t let him follow my example.
“Life partners,” Korix said, as if to himself. “If that’s what you want, then why won’t you let me be one for you? Let me support you as a life partner should.”
Did that mean he’d have said yes? I opened my mouth to ask when a request for a direct connection flashed into my array.
Who on earth could have sent this? Without a communicator to strengthen a connection, we were far out of range for one to establish, whether the person who’d requested it was in Ibis or Lutov. Mildly curious, I accepted the request, intending to cut the connection as soon as I’d solved the misery, but the voice on the other end froze me solid.
“You gigantic morons! Why the hell are you just floating there? Here, catch!”
# Chapter 103: We Die Here, Right?
The strangest aircraft I’d ever seen slowed to a stop beside me with only a faint whir coming from its engines, which explained how it had snuck up on me. It looked like the fighter planes that had been used during the war with those from beyond the stars, but thousands of short tubes were sticking from its surfaces as well. I wasn’t sure what purpose those served, as they’d only hinder airflow around the craft, but questions about that hardly mattered at the moment. Not when I’d been whacked over the head and infused with adrenaline at the same time.
The cockpit popped open, and the pilot peeled straps off of his body before awkwardly standing, holding two unrecognizable rifles toward us. The helmet and his suit concealed his features, but that was ok. I knew his voice.
“Phen,” I faintly said.
My brother tossed me a rifle and a few magazines, and when making my catch, I almost fumbled both items, held captive by the need to gape at him.
“Leski’s not happy with you,” he said. “When I ran into her, I told her about her emergency reserves. She should be right behind me.”
Why was he talking nonsense?
I couldn’t race to my brother and hold him to me—protect him—like I wanted, not with how far we were above the sea, so I settled for what I could have.
“You- Mother Time, you-”
If only I could get my tongue to work.
Turning to Korix, Pheniks asked, “Is he ok? He’s not making any sense.”
*“How are you alive?”* I gasped. “The barrier failed. A pillar fell on you. I… I thought you were dead!”
“I’m… Zae, what are you talking about?” Pheniks said. “None of that debris landed on me, although some came close. I made it into The Library’s pocket dimension before things got too flooded and used one of the strange arches in it to get out. You remember? The one I used was part of the clump near the books about the pre-Founding nations. *The one that led to Asher Cerullis’ lab and its hangar?* Or… wait. Did you get my message about that? I thought for sure…”
When I didn’t reply, too busy flapping my mouth, he tilted his head to the side.
“Did Feena not tell you about this?” he asked. “She was supposed to.”
“Well, she didn’t,” I growled.
Oh, I was going to *smack her silly…* or I would if I had a chance of seeing her again.
“She tried to share this with you. You didn’t give her a chance, though,” Korix said. “In too much of a rush to get here, if I’m remembering it correctly.”
Whirling on him, I barely stopped myself from shaking him.
“You knew too?” I shouted. *“Why didn’t you say something?* You let me think my little brother was dead!”
“Upsetting your emotional balance seemed unwise, given-”
\[*-away from our Source! We will obliterate you all!*\]
Everything turned white for the longest moment of my life, and when I came to again, Leski had joined us, shouting at me based on how much her suit was shaking.
“Given that,” Korix softly said.
So, he’d been hoping to keep me away from the Ancient’s abuse. That was quite possibly the only acceptable reason that he could have given for concealing something this significant from me.
“Is he ok?” Pheniks said. “He doesn’t sound ok. He sounds the opposite of ok. He sounds like when we were kids and-”
Damn, I’d never heard my brother so anxious before.
My brother. Alive. Somewhere deep inside, I was manically giggling, for more reason than one.
“I’m fine. Ecstatic to see you, Phen,” I said, “but I need to-”
“Yes, yes. The *Lokke Vitras* sent me a message about your suicidal bullshit of a plan, so I asked him to delay you for a bit. Thanks for that by the way.”
Inclining his head to Pheniks, Korix said, “It was no trouble. Zaeden seemed intent on delaying himself, so I didn’t need to put much effort into it.”
He’d been… *delaying me?* We hadn’t just been uselessly floating here? Well, I suppose I had but still…
“Your plan is typical for you: brilliant and utterly self-sacrificing,” Pheniks continued. “I have a better one, a plan where none of us die.”
I could go home today? Go home, have a life, be with Korix, be with Leski, be with everyone I loved?
“And what’s your plan?” I asked.
Pheniks dropped into his aircraft’s cockpit before closing it.
“Let’s just say that Asher Cerullis was much more brilliant than our history gives him credit for,” he said. “I’ll use one of his inventions to solve this problem while you use another to watch my back. From what I understand, those rifles should disperse any Ancients that come to challenge you, but I’m not sure about that. I didn’t get the chance to test them because *someone didn’t come to help me today.”*
“O-ok.”
Distracted by my internal fight with the Ancient, reeling from my brother’s survival, stunned by the possibility that I might live to see tomorrow, I thought the fact that my head was whirling so badly was perfectly understandable.
“Maybe we should loop Leski in on this?” Korix said.
Right.
Leski was still shouting when she accepted my request for a connection.
“-idiotic assholes. I swear to Mother Time, I’ll-”
“Leski!” I yelled over her. “You can thoroughly berate us later. Let’s save Lutov first.”
She cut off with a hiss before calmly continuing.
“It is *not* ok to send me away like you did, and we *will* be having a talk about that, but you’re right, Lutov comes first.”
Grinning, I nudged Korix.
“Sacrifice self.”
With amusement, he said, “House before family.”
“Lutov over all.”
We burst into laughter, and while I wasn’t sure why Korix was bent double on himself, I found hilarity in how thoroughly I’d integrated two-thirds of this maxim into my life. The one part that I opposed with my whole being was the one that most Lutovish knew.
A loud sigh filled the connection.
“If you two are quite done with you incomprehensible Kolb humor, I’d appreciate it if you’d help the only unHoused among us, please,” Pheniks said. “Go do what you do best. I need to get started.”
“Technically, Phen, I also haven’t joined a House yet,” I said on his words’ heels.
The glare he was probably leveling at me was physically palpable.
“I’m going to kill you when this is over,” he said in deadpan.
His aircraft zipped forward with the Source quickly enveloping it, and even encumbered by laughter as I was, I noted that the bunched Ancients, once waiting on an invisible line, had surged forward. Apparently, *they’d* finally realized that *their* home’s defenses wouldn’t hold us back.
I should probably handle that.
Raising Asher’s rifle, I inspected it, making a face at how antiquated it appeared. Pity I didn’t have any specs on it.
“We should spread out,” Leski said.
For a split second, she got a drop of my full attention, considering I’d been about to say the same thing. Mother Time, she amazed me.
“Preferably before they reach us?” she continued.
Yes, that would be wise.
Without discussing it, we dispersed. As I shot to the right, Korix maintained the center, and Leski headed to the left. I didn’t know how long we’d be able to hold off the Ancients with such a spread-thin line, but we had to try.
I took a few experimental shots at the cloud swarming toward me. My array picked up partial details from each of these rounds, soon informing me that the rifle’s projectiles were similar to old-fashioned bullets. The only difference in their appearance came in their clear exterior, coating a blinking pellet. They dropped off more quickly than I’d like, starting their descent at around three hundred meters from me, but their arch into the sea was much less steep than what I’d expect from a gunpowder bullet.
Please, say that Pheniks was right and these would kill an Ancient. I didn’t see how they could, given how quick the enemy was, but… I trusted my brother. I’d get him the time that he needed for his end of the plan.
The first Ancient came into view, and *it* might be fast, quick enough to dodge many of my initial shots, but one eventually connected with *it* at center mass. With other targets waiting for my attention, I didn’t have long to watch what happened to *it,* but as more of *them* fell to my bullets, I gained a clear picture of what Aser’s rifle did to the enemy.
When a bullet hit an Ancient’s body, the glimmer that coated its foggy shell broke apart while a hole expanded from the impact site, and wherever its phospholipid bilayer dissolved, bits of its surface drifted away. Without that shell to protect it, the lightning tendril in its center bolted into free air, quickly traveling out of sight.
But that wasn’t what gave me hope that we might have a chance. Each bullet dissipated the Ancient that it hit, yes, but after the initial impact, the bullet also exploded, spraying the rest of its liquid in a wide radius.
With a sheen that reflected the sun, that liquid didn’t act like water or any other fluid should, though. At the bullet’s explosion, the Ancients around *their* fallen fellow scattered, but the liquid followed those inhuman bastards. It still obeyed the law of gravity, if at a slower rate than it should, and had a limited range before it returned to a standard fluid state, but because it hovered like that, landing a shot on one enemy led to a good handful more dissipating as well.
And then, there was what happened when an Ancient’s tendril of lightning encountered its outer shell. Rather than escaping into free air, this led to the core fizzling out.
We could kill the enemy.
Unfortunately, when each of those tendrils was extinguished, it also made something deep in my center release a silent scream.
“You’re free to leave me whenever you like, asshole,” I said. “What more can you do in my head? Better to join your people in *their* fight against us.”
*It* didn’t respond, leaving me free to focus.
It was a relatively anti-climactic battle, all told. *They* had the numbers, but we had better weapons and far superior skill. After my first few successes, hitting an enemy took about two bullets, and I blessed the many, once-cursed hours where Korix had made me practice my rifle accuracy past what I’d thought was necessary.
He was performing similarly, of course, but Leski surprised me. She might need more bullets per target, but she instinctively aimed for positions in the swarm that had them swaying between an advance and a retreat.
Holy hell, if she chose any House but Kolb at her House naming, they’d be missing out on a damn fine operative.
Even with our advantages, however, three people could only impede a swarm for so long before our bullets started running dry and *they* realized that *they* could overwhelm us. When *they* scurried away, conglomerating into a clump, I cursed under my breath.
“Phen, how much longer?” I snapped.
“I don’t know. Maybe three minutes?”
He’d sounded distracted.
“Navigating through this stuff is difficult, although this relic’s ready to release its payload whenever I say.”
I’d always found it funny which of Kolb’s terminology had stuck with my brother over the years.
“You have one minute,” I said. “Then, we-ngh!”
Steam and lightning poured out of my nose and mouth, seeping through every microscopic hole in my suit, and a hook in me was yanked free. Despite how little good it did me, I slapped my hand to a dully throbbing head, sniffing stickiness back where it belonged.
My Ancient, the one that had been tormenting me, swirled into being.
\[*Stop this! Why would you harm us? What wrong have we committed against you?*\]
What… wrong…?
“You seize control of people, people who are already hurting, and under your influence, they do things that will haunt them for the rest of their lives,” I said. “When they don’t conform to your will, you murder people. You’ve tortured me for half a day. You intend to turn millions of people into empty husks for your offspring to manipulate, and you ask what wrong you’ve committed?”
The Ancient’s cloud layer brushed against my suit while its lightning core filled my vision.
\[*This is… anger, yes? We’re learning these strange emotions, but… it doesn’t matter. Why are the items that you have listed crimes? They seemed like a proper form of payment for our long-held pact, especially after your people refused to honor it.*\]
“Proper-”
I sputtered to a stop before taking a deep breath.
“Let’s not discuss payment. We should talk about this pact,” I said. “The one you mentioned is the Ancients Pact, yes? You drove those from beyond the stars away in exchange for an unnamed favor. Tell me. Why should we honor this deal?”
\[*Because… it is a pact. You agreed-*\]
“But we didn’t,” I interrupted. “The people who made this agreement with you are long dead, and we who have taken their place weren’t given a chance to approve of it. If we’d lived during our ancient war, we might have chosen to fight our enemy alone rather than accept your deal.”
The Ancient’s form eddied and swirled as *it* considered what I had said, probably consulting with the Source as well. When I could, I checked my surroundings, noting the enemy massed for an attack, but that imposing group had yet to move. Both Leski and Korix were turned toward me, listening to my half of the conversation, and hoping to keep them calm, I wiggled my fingers at them, unsure if they’d see it.
\[*What do you propose we do?*\]
Jerking my attention back to the Ancient, I cocked my head, narrowing my eyes. *It* was asking for my opinion?
“Make a new pact,” I said. “You leave Lutov alone for now, and we work together on solutions for your problem. We revisit the issue every hundred years until both parties are satisfied. Sound fair?”
Hell. If those few words were enough to end this conflict, I’d be ecstatic beyond words. I know, however, that in situations like this, reasoning alone usually didn’t work.
As expected, the Ancient drew away from me while *its* voice turned caustic.
\[*Make a new pact. With you. A pact-breaker.*\]
That was what I’d thought. Even still, I tried again.
“Yes, I broke my promise to you, but I did so because I saw a way to save my people, one that only I could fulfill,” I said. “Stupid? Probably, but it’s what I did, and it’s in the past. I know you’ve been in a similar situation before, and you did the same thing, breaking from the majority as a result. I saw it. Besides, surely you’ve seen enough of my history to know that behavior like that is atypical for me, and this pact wouldn’t be made between you and me but between your people and-”
\[*A pact-breaker is a pact-breaker. There is no greater crime, no excuse for it, and from what we have observed of your people, you are a prime example of them. We find it better to risk what you might do to us than trust that you will honor your word. The plan in your land will continue.*\]
Shit.
“Zae…” Leski said.
The massed Ancients began moving, and with House Kolb speed, I raised my rifle to aim at the one in front of me. After squeezing the trigger, I watched the being’s dissolution with a sick feeling in the pit of my gut, but even still, I flew with all speed to regroup with Korix and Leski.
I wouldn’t make it in time. We’d be separated when the attack came with our strength—us—unable to face the enemy, and watching the Ancients descend on us, the sight of so much sparking electricity squeezed my throat closed.
“Phen, please tell me-” I forced through it.
A swirling mass of fog, spark, and membrane pulled to a halt, trembling in place, and seeing that, I spun toward the Source. Its slow rotation had stopped with it density lessening at an alarming rate, and beneath it, the water funnel that had once stretched toward it had reversed and expanded.
Bit by bit, the Source wept into the sea until it reached critical mass, and the totality of its remnants was dumped into the waves. As they swept for Ibis’ shore, they quickly rose, and I winced at the image of a soon-to-come tidal wave that splashed into my mind. No towns lay on Ibis’ west coast, but still, the destruction that we’d unleased shriveled any joy I might have felt at our seeming victory.
Two other factors sapped my satisfaction, one being what I’d earlier discussed with Korix. When I glanced behind me, I no longer saw a cloud of Ancients. Instead, fizzling electricity scattered toward the horizon, which meant that we had, in essence, committed genocide.
Maybe we’d been right to do so. Maybe not. The question would haunt me for the rest of my life, but in this moment, it caused such a swell of self-loathing that I might have curled into a non-responsive ball if not for the second detractor to my happiness.
I couldn’t find Pheniks. He’d said that his plan would leave us alive, but what if something had gone wrong? What if I’d gained my brother, only to lose him again?
Something glinted overhead, and when I glanced toward it, Pheniks’ aircraft swooped by with him laughing over our connection.
“Race you!” he called.
He was fine.
Taking a deep breath for the first time since the Source had failed, I clicked my tongue before chasing my brother.
# Chapter 104: You and Me
I easily caught up with Pheniks, but when I pulled alongside his aircraft, I slowed down, peering into the cockpit. When he spotted me, Pheniks animatedly waved, and I frowned.
“You seem unusually chipper, considering what we just did,” I said.
“What, disrupting the Source?” Pheniks said. “I’m not too worried about it. When it eventually reforms, the Ancients will be pissed with us, but by then, we should have a solution to *their* problems, one that will make everyone happy. For a start, you and I will have to prod our *shukusenth* into pushing for more environmentally friendly production methods than what we currently have, but that should be easy enough to do.”
Oo, my much-abused brain was having a harder time than normal with processing Pheniks’ way of talking.
“Hang on,” I said. “We didn’t kill off the Ancients?”
Pheniks snapped his head to me, and even with the cockpit’s glass and his helmet blocking them, I could see his widened eyes.
“What? Of course not!” he said. *“They’ll* just be scattered across the world for a while. Do you think I’d have tried this if there was the slightest chance of eliminating such fascinating creatures?”
I didn’t know why I trusted my brother’s surety about this over the uncertainty of beings who’d existed since the dawn of time, but I did.
I did! Pheniks had an unhealthy fascination with puzzles like the Ancients, and terrible as it was, I knew he’d have let Lutov fall before giving up an obsession like this.
“Oh, thank Mother Time.”
Huddling on myself, I unintentionally stopped my forward thrust, but so much relief was filling me that I couldn’t move to correct the mistake. Pheniks slowed down for a moment, circling me, before sighing.
“House Kolb brain,” he said. “I’ll see you back home, Zae.”
Speeding ahead, he was soon a blip on the horizon, but I wasn’t alone. Korix and Leski waited while I recovered, and once I had, they hovered as close to me as they could.
“We still need to talk,” Leski said, “but my reserves-”
“I know. You shouldn’t rely on your emergency stash,” I said. “Thanks for making sure I was ok.”
“Of course,” Leski said. “I realize that you probably have clean-up to handle, so do you need anything else from me, or can I…?”
Clean-up. Right. I hadn’t thought about that yet, only focusing on each present moment. Was I in shock? That would explain how badly I’d been bumbling through the last ten minutes. Plus, I hadn’t been this numb in a while.
Or I was mostly numb. Regarding this mess, I still had one thing left to resolve, and until that was done, I didn’t know how effective I’d be with everything else.
First, though, I had to handle Leski.
“Please, get home before your reserves fail,” I said. “I’ll find you as soon as I have a free moment.”
“All right,” Leski said. “Be safe.”
“You too.”
And it was just me and Korix. In silence, we headed for the closest shore, soon flying over flooded land. Damn, Zan and Vaessa would have a hell of a time cleaning up after this man-made disaster. I should probably feel guilty about that but honestly? I couldn’t bring myself to care.
The quiet between me and Korix persisted as we set down and removed our atmospheric suits, and once we were free of them, I stared at him, hugging my chest. I couldn’t bring myself to speak. How did I continue with the conversation that we’d been having before Pheniks had interrupted us?
After what felt like forever, I tore my eyes off of him, turning in place while I chewed on my lip.
With a soft chuckle, I said, “Isn’t this nostalgic? Once more, we’re in an Ostium forest, much like the one where you first saved my life, and sure these fallen leaves might have become the sea’s temporary shore but-”
“Yes.”
My feet came together, and taking carefully even breaths, I glanced over my shoulder at Korix. The man I was presented with was much different from the ‘Garreth’ I’d met years ago or the wraith-like *Lokke Vitras* who’d stolen me from my House naming ceremony. In the evening’s sweet-light, Korix beamed at me. The warmth of it turned his already striking features into the most breathtaking sight that I’d seen in my life, and he was completely relaxed, something he’d never done around me. Always, caution or worry had hovered over him, but it was gone now. I didn’t know what to make of it.
“Uh,” I said.
Eloquent, idiot.
But Korix only laughed, and hell, if that noise didn’t make my heart swell.
“Yes, Zae,” he said when he could. “I’ll be your life partner.”
Licking my lips, I tried to speak, failed, and tried again.
“It’s not that I doubt you or anything,” I said, “but… why? Why would you commit to a lifetime with me?”
Chuckling, Korix crossed one arm across his chest while hiding his eyes.
“Mother Time, with how confident you usually are, I forget how much self-assurance you sometimes need,” he said before flinging his arms to either side of him. “Very well. You want to know why? Then, come here.”
Swallowing hard, I crossed the distance to him. Part of me was certain he’d reject me, even after saying yes, but he merely draped his arms over my shoulders, resting his forehead on mine.
“I could tell you how over the years, I’ve noticed how well we go together. Or I could tell you about how we bring out the best in each other. You’re always reminding me that it’s ok to feel, and I remind you of when it’s not,” he said. “But the simple truth of it is that I want to be with you. I want the spark of my soul to commune with yours, even in the Collective after we’ve died. You’ve saved me in more ways than I can count, and I want to be there when you need the same from me. Is that enough of a reason?”
I’d fly to the moon. Mother Time, this bubbling brightness inside of me would lift me into the depths of space.
“Yes. That’s enough,” I croaked.
“Good,” Korix said. “Because I need something from you.”
He pulled away from me, and at those brown-striated-gray eyes turning to molten copper, I smirked.
“How curious,” I said. “I need something from you too.”
“Do you now?”
Lunging, Korix wrapped his arms around my waist, and we tumbled to the forest floor. With us tangled around one another, I let myself believe that life could return to normal again.
# Chapter 105: I Can't Believe That Worked
Waiting in the foyer of *shukusen* Talira’s office, I examined her latest acquisition, another painting by Gaze. He’d done a masterful job of depicting a field’s gentle rustle in the breeze with the shifting of its canvas’ threads an achievement to admire.
“You said you’d come find me.”
As Leski stopped beside me, I let a smile soften my features, never removing my gaze from the painting.
“I believe the technical phrasing included ‘when I have a free moment’,” I said. “You may have noticed how hectic everything’s been over the last few days?”
That was an understatement on my part. When Korix and I had returned to Lutov via a beacon, we’d had to sit through so many interrogations, ones where we’d thoroughly explained ourselves to the *shukusenth.* That process had taken a good day and a half, all of which had felt like a waste of time to me.
Thank Mother Time for Talira’s support of us. From what I could tell, it had been the only reason the other heads of Houses had believed our story over Alezand’s protestations.
After that, events had followed as they should have. Alezand had been exiled. I’d still watch him for hostile behavior, unable to believe that we were done with him, but for now, I had to be satisfied with the *shukusenth’s* judgment, no matter how much I ached to hurt him more. Jayla deserved it.
The rest of Cerullis was in chaos. Without a *shukusen* or First Stratus at the helm, no one in the House knew who should lead it, which had made meeting with them simply *wonderful,* and that wasn’t even covering how to resolve the split between the people who’d sided with the Ancients and those who hadn’t. Over time, it would work out, but for now, Cerullis was in the weakest position that it had held in centuries.
In the midst of this, I’d carved out time to visit Rane. Still in the hospital at the base of Kolb’s headquarters, she was in a curious state. I’d never seen a woman so pissed off about what had happened to her and yet, deliriously relieved, all due to the lack of her position’s necessity.
With The Library gone, her world had opened up. Hopefully, she could go home soon, but since an Ancient had ravaged her mind, Kolb’s medics wanted to observe her for a while longer. Maybe while waiting to leave, she could figure out what she’d do next.
When in the hospital, I’d also visited Feena. My sister would be fine, eventually—the idiot had refused to use RRDs—but right now, she was pretty banged up from her five-on-one fight. I was told that she’d kept her opponents busy for a few hours, unwilling to kill any of them. When I’d asked her about that, she’d said that she hadn’t wanted to end the lives of people who might have been as much under an Ancient’s control as I’d been. Because of this, though, someone had had to fish her unconscious, nearly-dead ass out of the sea and fucking hell…
When we’d gotten home and I’d heard that news, Korix had had to physically restrain me from finding the people who’d hurt my sister and *making them pay.* I saw the logic behind both of my loved ones’ actions now, but damn, if I hadn’t wanted to rip into Feena and Korix at the time. Needless to say, my time at my sister’s bedside had been strained, even as I’d smothered her with concern.
But visiting her and Rane had been the only indulgences I’d allowed myself since coming home.
Turning to Leski, I said, “Has my grandmother finished questioning you?”
We’d already gone through one round of these debriefings, but Talira had called for a second meeting with each of us, probably wanting to make sure that everyone would keep their facts straight in the future. At least, I thought that was why she’d summoned us again, although she’d probably had another reason for bringing me and Korix here.
As the first to face the *shukusen,* Leski had been in her office for far too long before switching places with Pheniks, but in response to my question, she nodded, facing me with her chin lifted.
“May we discuss my issues now, or should I wait?” she asked.
“Now is fine,” I said. “I doubt Talira will invite me and Ko into her office anytime soon.”
As I had near constantly over the last seventy-two hours, I checked on my new life partner. He was asleep in a chair, snoring, and I suppressed my mirth at the sight. I was used to him catching sleep when he could but never in so public of a place.
“When we were at the Source, you sent me away because you planned to kill yourself,” Leski said. “You didn’t want to hurt me, but you also didn’t want me to argue you out of it.”
Snapping my eyes to her, I said, “Yes.”
Leski stepped into my personal space, jabbing a finger into my chest.
“You can’t do that,” she said. “If I’m to be your… if I’m to continue dating you, you cannot leave me out when it comes to things like that.”
Oh, how that righteous indignation set me ablaze, in both a nice and distinctly unpleasant way.
“You’re right, and I’m sorry that I did it when we were at the Source,” I said. “It won’t happen again. Ever.”
Pausing, I considered how I should phrase the next part before deciding to just say it.
“And you’re my partner, not just someone I’m dating.”
Returning my attention to the painting, I smirked at Leski’s flabbergasted stuttering.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” she managed to get out.
Instead of answering, I inclined my head to the swaying grass stalks on the canvas in front of us.
“What do you think of this?” I asked.
Glancing at it, Leski said, “It’s nice, I guess. Zae, what-?”
“Would you mind something similar hanging in the place you call home?” I asked.
When Leski went still, I patiently waited for her to form a response.
“I wouldn’t mind,” she eventually said. “Why do you ask?”
“I like Gazi paintings,” I said with a shrug.
Hopefully, that would be enough of an explanation for her.
“You’ll soon go through your House naming, yes?” I continued. “After it’s over, how would you feel about living, for a time, with Korix and me?”
With her breath going short, Leski resolutely continued facing the painting, despite her bearing’s obvious cry to turn my way.
“How long is ‘for a time’?” she asked.
“As long as you like,” I said, curling my lips.
“And Ko is ok with this?”
“When I asked him about it, he seemed enthused with the idea,” I said. “If you want, you can ask him for yourself.”
At that, she fell silent, and much as it stressed me, I let her have this moment. When it started running long, however, I relented, pulling her in front of me.
Meeting her eyes, I said, “This isn’t me saying that I love you. I don’t know how I feel about you, but I want to explore the possibility that lies between us. I believe that the best way to do that is by living in close quarters for a time. What do you think?”
For a moment, Leski turned inward, but then, she mischievously grinned at me.
“That it’s a great idea,” she said, “and I can’t wait to face the challenge.”
Mother Time, she was wonderful.
“In that case, why don’t you stay with us tonight,” I said. “Do you remember how to reach Ko’s apartment?”
“I remember which tier it’s on,” Leski said. “I doubt finding it from there will be hard.”
It wouldn’t, not with how much time I’d spent with its residents. They’d help her along, if she needed it.
“Then, I’ll see you there,” I said.
“I look forward to it,” she said with a fierce grin. “Good luck with the *shukusen,* Zae.”
“…Thanks?”
Damn, that knowing smile sent a shiver up my spine, but it was quickly erased by Leski’s sashay toward the lift. Watching her swaying hips, I was set adrift on possibilities for later tonight. Did she know what she was doing to me?
Behind me, the door to Talira’s office sprang open, and Pheniks hurried past me, muttering under his breath.
“Hell if I’ll ever say anything about how I disrupted the-” was all I caught before he stepped into a lift.
My brother’s continued existence was still spreading fingers of awe in me. I would never, *never* take a loved one for granted again. His perceived loss had fixed the lesson of their importance in my mind.
As if desperate to stop emotional thinking like that, Talira’s voice shot through her open door.
“I’ll next see my delinquent grandson and his *evushk.”*
Sighing, I stalked to Korix, poking him. Instantly awake, he raised an eyebrow, at which I nodded. When he was on his feet, I took his hand, and we faced my grandmother’s displeasure together.
# Chapter 106: Ascension
My grandmother’s office was in shadows with the glow of the city’s lights lending it an aura of mystery. As we entered, the door closed behind us with the distinctive thunk of a lock engaging, and I went on alert.
Despite knowing this meeting wasn’t a trap, I couldn’t help the sudden feeling that it was, and in response, my mind went into overdrive. A thousand different ways to escape a fight popped into my thoughts, but even with that sudden chaos, I took comfort in a single fact. If we worked as one, Korix and I could take Talira down, even if it would require the best from both of us.
As we moved forward, however, Korix squeezed my hand, a subtle reminder that I could relax, and I forced myself to do as he’d suggested. Despite my efforts, I hadn’t completely calmed down before we stopped in front of Talira’s desk.
She was facing her wall of windows with her arms crossed behind her back and her feet shoulder-width apart, the epitome of martial discipline, and when she whirled on us, I couldn’t help responding with the barest of flinches. Flicking her eyes over us, she marched to her desk, resting her fingertips on it.
“In the last three days, you two have caused me more trouble than any other time in my life, both as a *shukusen* and the *Lokke Vitras,”* she said. “What do you have to say for yourselves?”
Before I could respond, Korix painfully clenched my hand, hard enough that I kept my mouth shut. Apparently, this was one of those times when I was supposed to let him take the lead.
“I did what I thought was necessary, my *shukusen,”* he said. “My *kuvesk* was only following my orders.”
“I see,” Talira said.
She left us in suspense for quite a while, and with every second of it, my muscles further bunched on themselves. Eventually, though, Talira pushed upright from her desk, and with that one move, the world seemed to pause, listening in on our conversation.
“Your personal status, my *Lokke Vitras?”* my grandmother asked.
“Rapidly deteriorating,” Korix answered. “Objectivity questionable at best. Nearing the end of my usefulness.”
Humming, Talira said, “And your replacement?”
When Korix glanced at me, I ignored my clenching gut and pattering heart. I’d known what this meeting might entail since Talira had called for it, so I nodded for Korix to say what he must.
Still, he watched me for far too long with his throat working. What was he waiting for? This was best for us both.
Eventually, he slowly swiveled his head back to Talira.
“Ready,” he hissed.
I didn’t understand why he’d been so reluctant to say that. Tonight’s events had been my goal for five years.
Yet, even Talira seemed saddened by Korix’s response. Maybe she’d begun mourning the loss of her relationship with him. Maybe she dreaded what was coming next. I didn’t know which of those was the case, if either, but I wished she’d get on with this. The waiting was killing me.
“In that case, I find you in contempt of your purpose, my *Lokke Vitras,”* she said. “You are stripped of your title, henceforth to be known as Korix of House Kolb. You will retain the privileges of a high Stratus, but otherwise, you are as nothing to me.”
And something horrible and long-held fell away from Korix. I could literally see the tension that rolled off of him, spreading a beatific smile across his face, and the sight of it sparked warmth in my heart.
This. This was what I’d needed since I’d realized what he meant to me.
Releasing my hand, Korix bowed over a raised arm.
“Yes, my *shukusen,”* he said.
Nodding, Talira turned to me with a petrified look on her face, and even keeping to a congenial façade as I was, I went very, very still inside.
“Zaeden, no House,” she solemnly said. “You are forevermore dead to Lutovish society. From now until such time as you take my place, you are the *Lokke Vitras* of Lutov. Long may you preserve the sanctity of your role.”
She fell silent, and to my surprise, I found myself at a loss. Thirty years I’d trained for this, eleven of which I’d known what I’d been doing, but now that the title was mine, I felt… nothing. I was the same person. Did that mean I could play the role as Zaeden might have? I supposed there was nothing saying that I couldn’t.
Rocking back on my heels, I smirked at Talira.
“Why, thank you, my *shukusen,”* I said. “I shall endeavor to be the best *Lokke Vitras* that Lutov’s ever seen.”
Beside me, Korix burst into laughter, slapping a hand over his mouth in an attempt to hide his snickering, and Talira cast an annoyed glance his way.
“Thank you for your service, Korix,” she said. “You may leave.”
Again, my life partner bowed.
“My pleasure to have served, *shukusen* Talira,” he said.
He gave me one more squeeze before slinking out the door. Once it had closed behind him, though, Talira turned her full attention on me, and almost, I buckled beneath it. Circling her desk, she quirked an eyebrow at me.
“Now is when you kneel before me and pledge your loyalty to your House,” she said.
No. Now was when I made my gamble and hoped that I was right.
“About that,” I said. “How important is your *Lokke Vitras* to you, my *shukusen?”*
Furrowing her brow, Talira said, “I- I don’t- What does that have to do with anything?”
Why did her confusion amuse me as much as it had? With what I was doing, I should only be afraid right now, but I wasn’t. Sure, I might be anxious, but I was also cold calculation, barely resisting a smirk.
“You’ve made a good point. My answer? When it comes to everyone else in Lutov, my importance to you is probably irrelevant, but for me, it’s everything,” I said. “I am irreplaceable to you, or at least, highly inconvenient to get rid of. After all, if I refused to serve as the *Lokke Vitras,* you’d have to fill the role yourself. Who else is skilled enough to do it but you?
“You *could* use Ko again, I suppose, but you and I both know how close he is to breaking. How would it reflect on House Kolb if its First Stratus started attacking random citizens on the tiers, thinking them his past enemies?
“So. Here is my proposal. I will serve as your *Lokke Vitras.* I will even claim to be a House Kolb member when in public, but I will never swear loyalty to you or a House. Knowing that I act under my own power, even if no one else does, will be enough for me. Meanwhile, you will ever hold the threat of death over me, as a *shukusen* always does over her *Lokke Vitras,* but you will gain one who’s happy and mostly well-adjusted, which is more than can be said for how you handled Korix.
“Given this, *shukusen,* will you accept my bargain? Or will Lutov suffer for the next several decades?”
I’d never seen my grandmother’s face so red before. She looked like she’d let her temper get the best of her, but after taking a deep breath, she clapped.
“Well done,” she said. “You’re the first to have backed me into a corner in a long while, even if my concession to you will be minimal at best. I accept your bargain.”
Bowing, I said, “Thank you, my *shukusen.”*
This wasn’t freedom from the Houses, not really. I wasn’t naïve enough to believe that I was anything more than a captive in this system still, but for now, it was the best I could do.
As I straightened, I barely contained a grimace. No. I couldn’t look at it like that. What I’d gained here was a start, a position that I could fight from.
And I would continue to fight. One day, I *would* be free.
Leaning on her desk, Talira said, “The concession’s not as great as you might think, considering the second half of your initiation tonight.”
Withholding a smile, I said, “What’s that?”
“I need a way to ensure that you’re *you,* much like with Korix after we woke him up from stasis,” Talira said. “So, I’ll give you a code, one that you’ll bury in your subconscious, and attached to it will be your greatest desire, which you’ll give me now.”
As expected.
“Very well,” I said. “What’s my code?”
With a faint grin, Talira said, “Tango romeo oscar uniform bravo lima echo.”
Trouble? Damn, she’d picked a good one for me. Restraining my laughter took me a moment, but when I could, I followed Korix’s example from last week.
“Tango romeo oscar uniform bravo lima echo,” I repeated. “To be free of the Houses. Tango romeo oscar uniform bravo lima echo.”
Falling still, Talira narrowed her eyes at me.
“That’s your greatest desire?” she asked.
“It is,” I said. “I’ve fought for it since I was six-years-old.”
For a moment, I worried that I’d accidentally killed my grandmother with my ambition, but before I could move to shake her, she filled the office with her laughter, throwing her head back with her shoulders shaking.
When she eventually wiped her eyes, she said, “You’ll be entirely vexing to handle, won’t you?”
I frowned.
“That’s not my intention,” I said.
“And that’s why I love you, Zae-zae. You’ll be a spectacular *Lokke Vitras,”* Talira said. “Now, go home. With recent events, you’ve earned yourself a break. Report to me a week from now, and we’ll go from there.”
Again, I bowed.
“Yes, my *shukusen,”* I said.
Spinning, I raced for the door, ignoring Talira as she muttered behind me.
“Oh, you and I will have so much fun together, grandson.”
---
Weeks later, Leski’s House naming ceremony came along, and as I took my seat in the stands, I focused on maintaining my easy smile and loose demeanor, ignoring everyone around me. I’d been the *Lokke Vitras* for what already felt like forever, and I still wasn’t used to the stares that were inevitably directed my way.
At the *shukusenth’s* insistence, my identity had been revealed to Lutov shortly after my elevation. Given that, you’d think I’d have gotten used to my new, infamous status, but holy shit. Having so many people focusing on me made my skin crawl. How I wished for the days when it had caused nothing but glee in me. Only Korix’s presence at my side was keeping me from fleeing this place.
I felt sorry for the unHoused here. This was the most important event of their young lives, and I was detracting from it with my presence alone.
Today, however, was also Leski’s day. I would be here for her, this ridiculous woman I’d come to love.
When she eventually mounted the dais, I breathed a silent sigh of relief. I could leave soon. Unfortunately, a message popped into my array at that moment, disturbing my newly gained sense of calm.
*We have a problem in Ibis,* it read. *Dispatch immediately.*
While I read the attached files, Korix leaned on me.
“Problem?” he asked in sub-vocals.
“Not really,” I replied in kind. “It can wait five minutes.”
I wasn’t lying about that. Talira wanted me to look into the rumors of subversive behavior circling the current heir to Escad’s throne. It was a silly task, something a lower Stratus could easily handle, but my grandmother had been testing me in recent weeks, her version of revenge for how I’d bested her on the night I’d become the *Lokke Vitras.*
Still, situations like this could easily lead to violence in Ibis, and when possible, my goal had always been to save people’s lives, no matter which landmass they called home.
Finished with this year’s chosen spokesperson, Leski strode to Talira, exactly as Korix and I had been speculating she’d do. How many nights had we spent idly envisioning a future with all three of us working in similar veins?
Once she knelt, my grandmother tore her glare off of me to lay her hand on my newest partner’s head.
“As head of my House, I take this worthy vassal into said House,” she said. “May you serve it well.”
Rising, Leski found Korix and me in the crowd, and her small smile warmed me.
“See here Leski of House Kolb,” this year’s spokesperson said.
When applause broke out, I leapt to my feet, cheering, with Korix following suit. The rest of the audience threw scandalized glances our way, not that I cared. With how much trouble I handled for them, they could give me something small like this.
As she returned to her seat, Leski stuck her tongue out at us, although the flash of her beaming grin was soon lost among the unHoused. Once she was settled, I snuck a kiss from Korix before making my way out of the Crescent. Only after I was free of it did I read the twin messages that had popped into my array.
*I’m here if you need help,* they read.
How I loved them both.
With a fierce smile, I approached my skycruiser, thrusting emotions aside, and once I was in it, I became the *Lokke Vitras,* Lutov’s protector and shield.
And I had a rebellion to prevent.
# Addendum
So, now you know how I became who I am, and if you must judge me, do it. I can no more deny my past than you can yours.
You won’t find the ideal hero in me, but honestly, who can be as impossible as that? Acting as a perfect protagonist isn’t feasible in the real world.
So, please. Be patient with me, love. The version of me that you’ll find in these narrations still has much to learn, but you know that, don’t you? You know me now. Does the person you love match the man in this tale?
I have more stories to share before we get to yours, Elliot, but I promise. We will reach the tale of our lives, eventually.
In the meantime, enjoy what I’ve already given you and get ready for what comes next. I promise. It will be one hell of a ride.